The Chaos In Stars
by va1kyrae
Summary: AS09 had known only one way of living and that was through causing bloodshed wherever she went. Peace and love weren't even in her vocabulary. Sometimes AS09 wondered though, whether that was by choice or if it was a lifestyle forced on her by HYDRA. Perhaps Steve Rogers would help her figure that out. Or maybe she'd cut out his heart before he got the chance to. Steve Rogers/OC
1. Part One

**Part One**

 _They won't tell you fairytales_

 _Of how girls can be dangerous and still win._

 _They will only tell you stories_

 _Where girls are sweet and kind_

 _And reject all sin._

 _I guess to them_

 _It's a terrifying thought,_

 _A red riding hood_

 _Who knew exactly_

 _What she was doing_

 _When she invited the wild in_

\- 'Girls of the Wild', Nikita Gill

* * *

 **Experiment AS09 knew only one way of living and that was through causing bloodshed wherever she went. Notions such as peace or love weren't even in her vocabulary.**

 **Sometimes AS09 wondered though, whether that was by choice or if it was a lifestyle forced on her by HYDRA. Perhaps a man by the name of Steve Rogers could help her figure that out.**

 **Or perhaps she'll cut out his heart before he even gets the chance.**


	2. Chapter One

**CHAPTER ONE**

* * *

" _It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers to the sound of trumpets."_ _**\- Voltaire**_

* * *

Experiment AS09 dreamt exclusively of the world ending in a particular way. In her dreams it didn't end with a bang or with a whisper, but rather with one scream at a time. And all those melodious screams would have all been caused by herself.

It was the only dream she was allowed to have and in truth it was the only dream she wanted to have. After twenty-four years she'd come to learn that there was a certain kind of alleviation achieved through the act of taking another's life.

Even when confronted by a woman kneeling on top of AS09's canvas, mixing her tears and snot with the blood AS09 had used as paint.

Before the room became a canvas it was a simple restaurant. It looked posh, the entire room a mixture of golds and whites with a marble floor. AS09 thought she'd actually improved the place, the fifteen dead bodies and splatters of blood added more character.

She'd seated herself on one of the least blood covered tables and was using a fork she'd picked up to search through the meal before her, trying to discern what was on the plate and if all of it was actually edible.

"Why haven't you killed me yet?" The woman on the floor asked, her voice shaking so much the words she said were almost discernable. When AS09 turned to look at her she instinctively looked to the floor, her entire body acting as though she were facing the world's fiercest predator. Though from what the woman had seen of the girl she might as well be.

From the woman's point of view, AS09 had appeared out of nowhere in a hail of bullets. She'd moved swiftly around the room, bringing a swift execution. Some had instantly gotten up and made a run for the doors but they were all locked, AS09 chose that moment to drop her two guns on the table she would later seat herself at, taking out two daggers that had knuckle dusters for hilts. And then she performed a massacre. The woman hid herself under a tablecloth then, covering her mouth in hopes it would cover the sounds of her sobs and allow her to go undetected. But once everyone else had been killed the murderer found her with ease, almost as though she'd known from the very start where the woman had gone to hide.

AS09 had told her to get out from underneath the table and told her to stay where she could see her. That's when the woman expected to die, she'd even closed her eyes and awaited a bullet to her head or knife to her throat. But nothing came and when she opened her eyes again AS09 was relaxing in a seat poking around someone else's meal. She'd been allowed to live, and she absolutely hated it.

"I'm not sure I understand your question," AS09 explained to the woman, enjoying the sight of her looking away and trembling under her gaze. The woman seemed to have become more reserved, no longer able to speak to the murderer but now AS09 was too curious to let the conversation just end. "Please, explain."

"I, well," the woman swallowed, trying to carefully string her words together in her mind. The tightness in her throat was not helping. "You have killed everyone else in the room and yet you've let me continue living. Why? Do you need me for something?"

AS09 raised an eyebrow, "I thought you'd just be grateful." To this, the woman scoffed, the absurdity of AS09's statement making her overlook her lack of courage. To this sound AS09 cocked her head to the side, "something funny?"

"Do you even feel bad?" The woman asked, receiving another perplexed look from the murderer and that look was answer enough and yet still she pushed because this woman wasn't from the same world as AS09. She was from a world where killing was clearly immoral and just the thought of the act would taint the soul. AS09 lived in a world where souls were not even there to be tainted. "You've just killed human beings, lives that should not have ended today. Fathers, mothers, daughters and sons. And you don't even feel bad?"

"Do you?" AS09 asked, beginning to slowly but surely understand what the woman was trying to explain, it was something she'd had many other victims try to explain, a simple thing that she could never fully understand: murder is wrong.

Tears began to fall from her eyes and the woman looked down to the floor once more, "yes." She confessed, voice quiet and dripping with shame.

"So you want me to kill you then?"

The woman shook her head from side to side, "I want all these people to not be dead." A sob escaped her lips as she finished saying the last word.

AS09 stood up and grabbed the gun from the table, she stepped closer towards the woman. "I can't do that, but if it's really that unbearable for you," she gripped the woman's hand in a tight grasp and forced the gun into her hand, placing one of her fingers onto the trigger and then, despite the woman's constant disputing, placing the gun against her head. "Then feel free to join them."

The metal of the gun was colder than she expected and yet it seemed to burn into her scalp. The woman had never even been near a gun before, but she was still frightfully aware of the deadly power even the smallest gun had and it forced her bones to lock in place as she convinced herself that even the slightest movement would cause the gun to release its power.

AS09 returned to her seat and stabbed at the unidentifiable slab of meat covered in yellow sauce, this time carefully licking it to investigate the meat further.

"You're a monster," the woman choked out, feeling a rage well up inside her with the might of a volcano. But the words had no effect on AS09 as they were words she'd heard countless times before.

She put down the meat, once again giving the woman her undivided attention. But there was something about the way AS09 looked at her that angered her more. Because it wasn't a look of insult like she would have wanted to see, it was some sort of sick amusement like a child staring at her favourite toy. And she was the clapping monkey with tambourines.

"Do you have a name?" AS09 asked.

The woman's first thought was to withhold her name, the murderer had taken everything she cared about in just the past ten minutes alone. Her pride. Her sanity. Her dignity and next she expected her life would be taken. She was damn well going to keep her name.

But then the woman realised that this monster clearly didn't ask the question a lot, if ever. They'd proven with their entrance that she was the kind of monster to shoot first and never ask questions. The woman _wanted_ the monster to know her name, and most of all she wanted the monsters to _remember_ her name.

"My name is Waverly, do you have one?"

For the first time the woman, Waverly, saw an emotion flash over AS09's face, Her eyebrows clumped together and her eyes fell to the floor, "no."

"How is that possible, how do you not have a name?"

AS09's lips turned downward in what was meant to be a frown but it looked more like a grimace. "What, do you think having a name makes you better than me?"

"Oh no, I don't think it's just the name thing that makes me better than you." Waverly hadn't always been the most courageous, in fact back in high school she was notably the shy one who always kept herself out of the limelight. The only person she was ever herself around was her mum who was equally a best friend and a mother. At that moment in time, Waverly's mother would be in her childhood home fast asleep. Waverly dreaded to think what the next day would hold for her mother, wondering if it would end up being the news of her death.

Despite being such a shy child she had grown out of her shell, she met her fiancé after one night of drunk karaoke and he'd become the father of their beautiful child two years later. Waverly had never truly thought about how much she'd changed from the shy and introverted acne covered teen she once was. But as she faced off the monster she'd just watched murder loads of people, and found herself actually sassing off to the monster, she finally saw the difference and she felt _proud_. Because even if AS09 did kill her, Waverly would still be the true winner by not backing down and not shying away and showing the darkness within the monster just how powerful light and goodness was.

"There is so much that clearly makes me better than you," Waverly continued, "the fact that I have a heart alone makes me infinitely better than you. It's kind of easy to tell that if you have no name then you must have no idea what love is like, and you never will. Would you like to know why?"

AS09 did not answer, she just sat back in her seat and crossed one leg over the other, sending Waverly a bored look that she'd hoped would be enough of a sign to the brunette to shut up. She could really understand why the woman was putting up a fight when AS09 had allowed her to keep her life. Not because she wanted to, of course. If AS09 had her own way then her dream would have become a reality years ago.

"Because without the guns and the knives who the fuck are you? I'll tell you. You're nothi-"

BANG!

Waverly's finger had swiftly pressed against the trigger but it wasn't of her own volition, it was like a muscle twitch. She was given no time to question what had happened or feel heartbreaking loss over her untimely death, the bullet had breached her brain and wiped life from her body too quickly.

Meanwhile, across from the new addition to her art piece, AS09 remained seated in the exact same position before except one hand was raised. She let out a long hiss, releasing a string of curse words as she pushed through the pocket of her leather jacket and took out a communication device that resembled a walkie-talkie, and after a couple more sighs and swears she spoke into the device. "Target was terminated." That time she spoke in Russian, fluently, and with the perfect accent.

What returned back was something similar to her own string of curse words but they were Russian. She turned her attention back to the food whilst the man continued to swear, finding that she actually quite liked the thick slab of meat.

After she'd eaten two more chunks the voice finally calmed, "were you the one that terminated her?" The voice spoke with withheld anger, clearly they already knew the answer and so AS09 saw no point in answering. More swear words were said. "Make this easier on yourself and stay where you are."

Again she saw no point in replying back, she just put the communication device back in her pocket. There was no point trying to explain to these people why she killed, they were all soldiers, they all required a cause and they desired to live by that cause for as long as possible.

That was one thing people struggled to understand when it came to AS09. She never killed for a cause, she simply killed. It was easier that way.

It was much easier for AS09 to wrap her life in lies like bubble wrap, after all, it's what you're supposed to use for fragile things.

After five minutes the pick up team arrived and escorted AS09 into the back of a van that would take her to the only place she can ever recall calling home. She was surrounded by five soldiers that walked her to her room.

AS09 hadn't bothered to get to know any of the hundreds of soldiers she passed by every day and none of them bothered themselves with her. The only interactions they had was when she needed to be escorted to her room or to her next victims.

AS09's bedroom had remained the same for as long as she could remember, four simple grey walls with a bed placed against one wall. Across from that was a wall covered by layers of paper all which had notes on them, most of the notes she'd created when she was just beginning her training but she'd still kept them up for when she was practising her killing techniques. A tattered plastic dummy was in another corner of the room and surrounding the dummy on the floor were different weapons, all wooden and dull because she wasn't allowed real weapons in her room after an 'incident'... or three. There was a second open doorway which led to a bathroom.

It was always cold, always seemed to smell of damp, always seemed far too large and empty for one person and it was home.

The guards didn't follow her into the room, three of them remained standing by her door whilst she entered and sat on her bed. AS09 looked up to the guards whilst she began to swing her legs back and forth. "Is he coming?" She asked the guards, knowing full well there was no point as most soldiers didn't even look at her let alone say words to her even though she knew they could hear her.

It seemed to be a rule among all the soldiers to pretend that she didn't exist unless ordered by the one person who did speak to her, the only person she regularly conversed with for as long as she could remember, though over time she'd started seeing him less and less and similarly she'd started to want to see him less and less.

Five minutes later and the three guards in front of her door parted like the red sea. A man dressed in a grey suit entered with a longer haired, more rugged looking man following behind him.

Every bone in AS09's body tensed and she jumped up to her feet, hands clenched at her sides. "Father." She greeted him flatly.

He didn't return with such a kind greeting, instead he raised his hand and brought it down harshly onto her right cheek. AS09 had the time to react, she could have easily moved out of the way or even deflected his attack and brought forth her own swift punishment. But she didn't.

Her father clearly seethed before her, his chest rose and fell and the frown on his face seemed to deepen with every aggressive breath, "you were told to keep the scientist alive."

AS09 licked across her lip which had been split open, the metallic taste of blood settled on her taste buds and she relished in it. "If you want me to feel guilty then you'd have to do more than a slap."

Her father's eyes turned to slits. He raised his hand once more to her face, this time placing it gingerly against her cheek. His thumb stroked over her lip, wiping away some of the blood that leaked out. Her skin was soft, naturally tanned olive and freckled surrounded by a halo of black curly hair which reached just below the jawline of her diamond shaped face.

Everything about AS09 was sharp. Her jawline and cheekbones were all sharp edges. Her eyes were a solid black, the same colour as the sharp edge of a ravens wings and their depths were veiled by long lashes which fluttered and flapped with the same heinous trickery as a moth's wings, used only as a tool to bring in prey.

There weren't many similarities between AS09 and the man she called father. He was blonde and paler in his skin, he didn't really have any sharp features and was lumpier than anything else.

"You're right." He eventually said, his voice much softer. He spoke to her the same way he had done when she was a child. He took away his hand and turned to the man behind him, bringing AS09's attention onto her father's company.

AS09 knew him as the Winter Soldier as that is what her father only ever called him. She was not the assassins biggest fan, he was like her father's pet, obeying every order and whim with no arguments. And because of that fact, as AS09 began to grow and get more powerful the Winter Soldier became her executioner, the man brought in to provide her with tortures.

"Take her to isolation." Her father ordered and the Winter Soldier instantly moved to do so.

"No!" AS09 argued taking as many steps back as she could before her bedroom wall got in the way. She punched the Winter Soldier in the face as soon as he came near enough but he acted completely unaffected. He'd at least moved his head along with her punch so it looked somewhat like she'd done a little damage. As he turned his head back to face her the Winter Soldier fixed AS09 under an emotionless gaze. "No," she repeated much quieter and it almost sounded as though she was pleading. But, of course, AS09 never said please.

The Winter Soldier saw no point in wasting any more time. He raised up his metal arm and grabbed a hold of her head, smashing it into the wall and knocking AS09 unconscious.

* * *

 **A/N: Hello! Welcome to my new project 'Hiraeth', it's something I've never tackled before and the project has me very excited because obviously my OC isn't your usual kind of protagonist. She's a lot darker. Just thought I'd give you all a little information about this new project and why I've decided to do it in parts, the first part goes alongside the plot of Captain America: Winter Soldier, the second part will go alongside Avengers Age of Ultron, the third alongside Captain America Civil War and the fourth (and possibly final) part will be based off of Avengers Infinity War! I've written part one already so that I can start posting chapters EVERY MONDAY. If you have any other questions just leave me a comment, I'll reply to them all. I also just want to know what you guys think about the story.**

 **So my first question is this: What do you think of AS09 so far? I'm interested to see how your thoughts will change as the story progresses, if they even do.**


	3. Chapter Two

**CHAPTER TWO**

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" _We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light."_ _ **\- Plato**_

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Isolation was never truly isolation, AS09 had been carried by the Winter Soldier to a separate room where she was placed within a hole in the ground that was just about big enough for one person with a steel door at the top stopping anyone from escaping. There she was placed for an entire week, visited every single day by her father who asked her the same question in the exact same strict and authoritative tone: "What are you?"

AS09 was first introduced to isolation when she was six years old and went against her training because she wanted to play. When she was younger isolation was referred to as 'the naughty pit' and the older she got the more regular her visits seemed to become. It was the best way to stomp out any unwanted habits she displayed as after that first visit the naughty pit became her worst fear.

It wasn't the pain caused by the cramped conditions that she'd feared most, nor the overwhelming stench of herself after being kept within the pit for a week. It was the darkness, and what her mind conjured up within the suffocating black abyss.

When she first awoke and realised where she was AS09 thrashed against the constraining walls, hands clawing and bashing against the cement until they were soaked in her own blood. She screeched and hollered until her voice no longer worked. And when her father did his first visit she simply stared at him unblinkingly, hatred lighting up her black iris' and defiance etched on her features.

That was the biggest issue with AS09, the fire in her eyes and the ice that ran through her veins. Everything about her was something to be feared and she was always becoming closer to discovering that fact about herself. She wore the smell of blood and death like her own personal perfume, had a look in her eyes that would make anyone wonder how many people she'd killed and a grin which would make them realise that she'd lost count. The moment she notices that little glint of fear that her father gets in his eyes every time he's faced with her look of defiance, is the moment anyone who is smart should try their best to hide.

But with each day in the pit that flame in her eyes seemed to shrink, never going out but fading within the darkness of the pit. On the fourth day when her father visited and asked the question she finally gave him the answer she knew he wanted to hear through gritted teeth.

"I am a weapon."

Instantaneously a smile crawled onto his face. "That's right," he agreed, speaking to her like she had reverted back to being a child, "and a weapon is only meant to obey the demands of their controller, am I correct?"

"Yes." She spat out, feeling her hatred ignite the flame once more but she couldn't stay in the pit anymore. She had to get out. _She had to get out._

"Do you want to get out?" He asked and with that question elation rose up within her, freedom was so close and for some reason that made her even more desperate for it. She nodded her head as fast as her aching bones allowed. "I don't think so." He disappeared from view and ordered the door to be shut, trapping her in there once more.

At first, she was shocked. Then she was angry, mostly at her father for building up so much hope only to then crush it seconds later. After that all she had left was the desperation and the pain and the surrounding darkness.

There she was forced to remain in the darkness for three whole days, not being visited once. Her only interactions were with the monsters that the darkness conjured up.

It wasn't until after the three days were done, until her father visited once again, that the outcome of the true isolation was seen.

She had never looked so broken.

AS09 had fallen into a squished position with her knees pressed against her chest, head in her crossed arms. She was shivering. Her father didn't even have to ask the question before her hoarse voice defeatedly echoed through the pit. "I'm nothing but a weapon. Just a weapon."

Her head raised up and she squinted whilst looking up at her father, no sign of defiance, just defeat. "Let me out." AS09 pleaded, tears brimming her eyes.

When most would have looked down on the girl with pity, her father looked down at her with a smile on his face, pride oozing from all of his pores.

"Yes." Her father finally gave the orders and someone reached down and pulled her out.

She never felt relief when getting out of the pit, it always felt like there was still a part of her left in there.

AS09 instantly became aware of the Winter Soldier stood in the corner of the room and it had her muscles clenching despite the pain that overwhelmed her.

"What are you?" Her father asked again, just to be sure.

"A weapon." She responded almost robotically. Shame burned her veins like venom, to the point that she was getting a headache, though that could also have been down to the fact that she was seeing light for the first time in three days.

"Good girl," her father praised though his approval no longer filled her with the same glee it use to when she was a young child. "We have another mission for you, you leave in a couple of hours. However, this mission is a little different and it's imperative that you obey all orders given to you. If you don't then you know what your punishment will be." His eyes flickered over to the naughty pit behind her that was still left open, enough of a clue for her to guess what the punishment would be and the very thought of going back into the pit was enough to reduce her to tears.

She wanted to try and argue against her father's decision to send her on a mission so soon after taking her out of the pit. Her bones ached from being so confined and she swore she could hear them creak. And her brain felt so fractured, like it had cracks from which all thoughts leaked out of, leaving her feeling slightly numb and empty. There was no way she'd be able to perform her usual murder magic but as her father continued to explain the mission she realised it didn't matter. She was a weapon.

AS09 was given four hours to prepare herself. She showered and appreciated the feeling of being clean and in clean clothes. She dressed in a casual outfit that wouldn't bring too much attention seen as her next mission would be happening during the daytime. She dressed in all black, a simple ensemble of a vest, skinny jeans and hiker boots.

Once she'd done all of that, she finally allowed herself to cry. They were quiet tears, she had to physically force herself to keep any sobs and screams from escaping by pushing her nails into her arm. There was a sense of urgency within her to cause pain and to most of all be in _control_ of that pain. But since there was no one around for her to kill she had to take out that desire on herself.

After allowing her emotions their one minute of control she turned back to what she was good at. She grabbed a hold of one of the dull daggers meant for training. AS09 first held it in her hand, rubbing her thumb over the hilt, throwing it from one hand to the other, familiarising herself with the weapon once more. And then she threw it. Hard. Though dull the dagger forced its way into the wall of her room, causing some notes AS09 had made to scatter onto the floor.

A knock sounded on the open doorway minutes later, AS09 came to find another soldier stood waiting in the doorway. He didn't look her in the eyes and he didn't say a single word to her, just guided her from her bedroom to the vehicle which would take her to the location.

AS09 was brought to a cafe that was very sweet looking in appearance. The outside walls were painted a washed out red and there were many plant pots placed outside, adding a cacophony of colours. There was also a chalkboard outside that read: 'You look brew-tiful today'. As she entered a bell above the door rung loudly, gaining the attention of the five customers and the three workers including one preppy teen who skipped their way over, an empty tray in hand and an intrusive - almost painful looking - smile on her face.

"Good afternoon, welcome to 'A Latte Fun'!" The waitress didn't get to finish her greeting before AS09 whipped out a dagger and cut open the teenagers throat, allowing blood to spray out onto herself.

There wasn't any need for such a quick kill but AS09 couldn't help it. Doing so had brought her unparalleled joy. And that's why she continued with her attacks, purposely making a mess as she skewered another five victims. For once AS09 allowed some to escape so they could spread their panic to the streets outside.

The sounds of screams had her lightly cackling. Once the cafe was emptied except for a couple of dead bodies she placed her bloodied hands on her hips, taking a second to appreciate her latest piece of art. After another minute sirens could be heard getting closer. AS09 did a quick check that she still had all her blades hidden in the belt of her skinny jeans and then after one more glance around she set off onto the next step of her plan. "Time to put on a show," she mumbled to herself.

She kicked a chair over to one of the large windows, also grabbing a croissant and shoving as much of it as she could into her mouth, throwing the rest on the floor seen as it ended up covered in blood and she knew from experience it didn't taste very nice. Then she raised both hands, pushing them forward and as she did so the glass of the window cracked and exploded out onto the street. She stepped onto the chair and jumped out through the window, causing other civilians to scatter, running towards the speeding police cars that came to a halt.

She opened up her arms with a wicked smile on her face, inviting the six police officers to hit her with their best shot. They all hid behind the doors of their cars, guns raised and pointed directly at her. AS09 laughed at their attempts to seem dominating as they demanded she drop all weapons and put her hands in the air. She was stood out in the open whilst they all hid, and yet they thought they were the ones in charge?

Instead of doing that she flicked up her left hand and as her hand moved, the guns that they were all holding onto flew up and turned onto them.

"Oh my god!" One of the police officers gasped outwardly, "she's one of those freaks. What do we do? Do we call the Avengers?"

The man in charge ignored the other officers, raising up his own arms and beginning to plead with AS09. "Look, whatever you need we can work it out. Just please put the guns down first."

Again AS09 laughed, and as she gazed at them all the officers were struck with the exact same sensation. It felt like she was looking at them like they were already dead. "You're not what I want." She said with a fruity tone.

"What do you want?" The voice from behind AS09 was masculine and authoritative, demanding an answer with just his tone. AS09 only turned her head to the side to give him a quick glance, gauging whether he was worth her time or not. When her eyes spotted the red, white and blue shield he was holding she knew he definitely would be.

And so she did actually turn to fully face him and she was impressed by the blonde beauty in front of her. He stood like a soldier, tall with his chin raised . "Someone that's more of a challenge," she responded, doing nothing to hide the way her eyes drifted and down his physique.

Captain America raised an eyebrow at her actions but his expression remained serious, "well how about you let those people go and we'll see if I can be the challenge you're looking for."

AS09 was silent for a moment, seemingly debating over the man's proposition, she swayed her body from side to side and even tapped her chin, humming.

"Ma'am," the man interrupted, "your nose is bleeding."

The surprise was clear on her face as she reached up and found that blood was indeed trickling out of her right nostril. "Ah," she hummed, "it must be because I'm overexerting my powers. I've never used them this much before other than as a little bit of assistance when killing. I suppose I should get this over and done with as soon as possible then."

He was so caught up in her confusing explanation of why her nose was bleeding that he didn't pay attention to the way she flicked her wrist, not until he heard the gunshots ring through the air and the six bodies fall to the floor.

The man tensed, his serious expression melting away into a rage. "You shouldn't have done that."

"And why is that?" She smirked, acting coy, acting as though she hadn't just taken the lives of six individuals. As per her usual style she didn't give the Captain a chance to reply, instead using the guns to send the last few remaining bullets at him but he seemed to have a different idea as he brought up his shield and deflected all the bullets, forcing AS09 to use her powers further in order to deflect all the bullets that ricocheted back her way.

As he busied himself pulling his shield back down, she made her next move, she ran towards him and slipped down onto the ground when he least expected it so she could pull him down onto the ground as well.

AS09 knew she needed to keep him in positions where she would be able to overpower him, though in her current state, there weren't many. Of course her powers gave her the upper hand but the nosebleed and growing ache in her head was telling her she needed to start refraining from using it.

From the belt of her jeans she took out one knife and planted it into his side. He let out a sound of discomfort but that was the only response she got as he quickly began fighting back.

He overpowered her immediately, rolling over so he was on top of her. The weight of his body was enough to keep her set in place. He pulled out the dagger and looked down at the girl almost in disappointment. "Is that really the best you've got?"

Both of their hopes had been foiled by the outcome of that battle. She hadn't expected him to be as strong as he was, and neither of them had expected her to be so weak. She wasn't exactly pleased with the outcome.

"Why don't you get off me and I'll show you exactly what I've got." It was hard to tell if what she was saying was a threat or a flirting remark.

"Captain," another deeper voice appeared and from behind two black SUV's that had arrived only moments ago - but of course the two fighting were too distracted to notice - walked out a man by the name of Nick Fury. Following him were five SHIELD agents who surrounded the girl. Once Cap was sure that she was surrounded he stood up from her, staying nearby as they cuffed her and took away all her weapons.

Nick wandered over towards him and they quietly had a chat. "Well done Captain."

"Do you know who she is?" She must be a pretty big threat for you to show up." Cap thought that it didn't really make sense considering how easy she had been to defeat, but he didn't say that out loud, keeping his suspicions to himself.

Nick slowly nodded his head. "Maybe, we think she could be the _Reaper_ but we have no images on file of her, just statements on her appearance and powers. Thanks for capturing her."

"You don't need to thank me, I was lucky that she attacked so close to my apartment."

Both their eyes fell on the girl that looked perfectly serene despite the handcuffs around her wrists and the blood on her hands. Nick took a step towards her. "Was it luck?"

* * *

 **A/N: Another monday, another chapter! Hope you guys enjoyed this one, be sure to leave me a comment to let me know your thoughts on the chapter and more importantly your thoughts on AS09. My question for this week is: What do you guys think her mission is?**

 **Thanks to Sam0728 for the comment, I hope this chapter provided you more information on AS09.**


	4. Chapter Three

**CHAPTER THREE**

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" _I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity."_ _ **\- Edgar Allen Poe**_

* * *

AS09 somberly sat on the floor of her new cage, admiring her new surroundings that she was going to be stuck with for quite a while. The view that she'd been gifted with wasn't anything to scream about, outside the glass chamber there were only dark grey walls - the one to her left, right and in front of where the doorway of her cage was placed were all a matte grey whereas the wall at the back was a reflective black - a staircase was the only object in view that led down to somewhere deeper into the building she was in. AS09 came to the conclusion that she had been placed underground which would make the most sense and explain the lack of windows.

Though being in captivity did fill her with a little bit of anxiety she wasn't nearly as panicked as she would have been in the naughty pit. At least in the glass prison she had the room to move around and there was even a cot for her to sit and sleep on. During the first few hours of her stay she refused to go anywhere near the cot, seeing it as some sort of candy being put to tempt her and she didn't trust that the succulent candy piece was poisoned somehow.

Instead she kept herself seated on the floor, getting comfortable in a cross legged position whilst she waited for her first visitor. She'd guessed that it wouldn't be long before someone came to see her seen as the man with the eyepatch - the man she'd assumed was in charge - seemed pretty curious about her sudden appearance. It turned out she was right as after only ten minutes of being sat on the floor she was visited, only, AS09 had believed that it would have been one of the men she met earlier visiting her and instead she was met with an older lady in a brown suit.

The woman had gotten comfortable in a plastic chair, opening up a clip board and clicking a pen as she looked towards AS09 with an investigative gaze. The woman spent an excruciating amount of time simply staring and making notes on things like the AS09 had sat or other physical qualities that would somehow indicate to the monster's deep dark past.

Once the woman finished taking notes on what she was able to observe, she crossed one leg over the other and got into a more comfortable position, she looked to AS09 with a practiced smile on her lips and began to ask a couple of questions but AS09 didn't bother answering them. This woman was not the one she'd wanted to see. Also, the questions the woman had asked her seemed quite strange. They weren't about her murders or even useful information about her background. She asked things like how AS09 felt when killing, she asked AS09 if she had a violent history, she asked if AS09 had been hurt as a child.

After quite a while of questions like these she outwardly sighed, following it with a yawn so she could show this woman just how boring she found her consistent questioning. She hadn't answered the woman's first question so clearly she wasn't going to answer any of the others.

Her reaction was a jovial laugh, an action that blossomed only more irritation within AS09. "I know sometimes psych evaluations can be dull, I'm sorry for boring you honey."

AS09 carried on ignoring the woman, finding entertainment elsewhere which was difficult in an empty glass chamber. Her eyes began to trace the lines on the wall created by pipes and wires. It was kind of like doing one of those maze puzzles and at the end of one line she found quite the treat, a camera.

A devious knife-edged smile stretched out onto her freckled face and she sent a wicked wink towards the camera. This action had the psych evaluator turning in her seat to see what AS09 was looking at. When the woman turned back she still had a practiced-to-perfection smile on her face. "Are you hoping someone is watching?"

"Yes," AS09 finally answered one of the woman's questions and from the way the psych's eyes widened it became clear to AS09 that her spoken words had come at quite a shock. AS09 liked that though. She liked the idea that she was a surprising individual. "I fought this guy earlier, I think he might be my favourite SHIELD agent, and that's not just because of his pretty face.

AS09's musings had the psych rushing to write down notes but she tried not to think too much on what exactly was being written. She'd tried her best to come off as coy but her throat was still sore from the week long holiday she'd had in the pit.

"It must have sucked to lose to him…" the psych commented and the way she left the end of her sentence open suggested she wanted AS09 to give some more input but the murderer was done with her speaking session, feeling that she'd already been quite generous with what little she'd already said.

The psych seemed to realise that there was no longer any point in trying with the murderer any more, empty on ideas of ways to get the monster to talk. AS09 presumed the woman must have been capable enough to deduce that she was the type of girl who would make up her mind and stick too it with exasperating determination.

AS09 had once again been left to her own devices and so she had to conjure up her own form of entertainment. She closed her eyes and transported herself back to the earlier battle she'd had with Cap. Only this time she was at full health and had a much better idea of what she was dealing with.

In an ideal battle she would first get rid of the shield he used than she'd be tactical with her moves, making sure to avoid any hits from him. He was clearly a lot stronger than the average male so she'd have to avoid getting pinned because it would be all over by that point. She'd have to kill him, and fast.

The longer she sat plotting, the more bizarre her fighting techniques to defeat the super soldier became. As she was imagining herself shooting a giant rocket launcher towards a defenceless Cap there was a knock on her window which tugged her rudely from her daydream.

For a second she was fooled into thinking she was still in her dream as on the other side of the glass was her favourite blond.

She allowed herself a moment to fully take in his appearance seen as before she'd been too distracted with battling him. The blond was chiselled in many ways and his muscular psychique reminded her a lot of all the drawn figures she'd seen sketched in her training books. The one thing she didn't like about his outward appearance was his hair, it was perfectly combed to side. Her hand was twitching with the desire to smash through the glass and run her hands through it, maybe tug on it a little, anything to make it a little more messy and chaotic.

The only way she was able to tell that she wasn't actually in a dream was because of Nick Fury was stood to the side of Cap closer to the glass. AS09 didn't often dream of bald men in trench coats wearing an eye patch.

"Morning Freckles." The man greeted, not really sounding all that glad to see her and he didn't exactly look all too pleased either, though AS09 wasn't really even capable of imagining Fury with a smile on his face. In his hands he flashed two cream folders in her direction. "Brought you a present."

Nick stepped forward and opened up a small panel in the glass. He shoved the file through with enough force that it slid all the way across to her, stopping when it came into contact with her legs.

"You shouldn't have," she mumbled, picking it up and reading the print on front of the file. There was the SHIELD logo and then the words 'Reaper Profile' and 'Classified' printed in red ink.

"This is currently all the information we have on you, not including whatever notes the psychologist made." Nick fury began to explain, "I was hoping you'd be able to fill in all the missing information."

"Well don't get your hopes up too high," she replied as she opened up the folder. AS09 couldn't deny that the folder in her hands had piqued her interest. All she really knew about herself was that she was a weapon so it would have been intriguing for her to see any information they might of had.

Attached to the first piece of paper in the file was a picture they'd recently taken of her after she was captured. It seemed to be the only picture available within the file.

 **NAME:** _Unknown_

 **DOB:** _Unknown, Reaper is suspected to be in mid twenties_

 **SEX:** _Suspected female_

 **FAMILY:** _Unknown_

 **APPEARANCE:** _Witness accounts state she has short black hair, tan skin, freckles, dark brown eyes, around five foot seven with muscular build. Some say she has scars on her wrists but it can not be confirmed._

 **PERSONALITY:** _Witness accounts state she is very volatile and talkative. Finds it easy to kill. If you battle her it is recommended you kill on sight._

 **LANGUAGES:** _Witnesses have heard her speak Russian, German and English. Seems to be fluent in all three languages._

 **POWERS:** _Not enough information to come to a conclusion. Could possibly possess telekinesis. Unknown if it is part of a mutation or power gained through experimentation. Doesn't seem to use her powers often in battle._

AS09 let out a disappointed sigh, it seemed that all the file had to offer her was vague descriptions on things she already knew.

"The next twenty pages are filled with all the murders we think you were a part of," Nick continued to explain, not even having to open the folder to tell her about its contents. Instead he handed it to Cap who did take a minute to quickly flick through the contents of the folder. Though he didn't read through all of the details it became clear that he wasn't amused by what he found in her folder, especially as he got towards the end. The face he'd managed to keep composed was crumbling, an angry frown appearing with scrunched up eyebrows.

He fixed AS09 beneath a very judgemental glare but she didn't even flinch.

Cap had been under the assumption that he'd seen the extent of her evil during their fight when she killed all those innocent cops and bystanders. He wasn't prepared for what he read in that folder. The list of those she killed seemed to be never ending. Ranging from politicians to innocent children.

AS09 showed no interest in reading through the other twenty pages; instead she closed the folder and stood up so she could walk closer to the two agents. "I'm afraid I can't help you." She shoved the folder through the open window but Nick didn't accept it.

"Can't or won't?" Cap asked, his voice unwavering, the kind of calmness you'd always find before a storm. He'd spoken the same way to her after she'd shot down the six police officers.

AS09 looked at him with no hatred towards his judgemental behaviour towards her, she maintained the coy sideways smile on her face with a glint in her eyes that noticeably brightened when she looked towards Cap.

He was the challenge she'd been waiting for.

"Can't." She finally answered after fondly looking him up and down once again.

"You know, for some reason, I just don't believe you." The Captain sneered in retort.

She cocked her head to the side, "that's not my fault." AS09 straightened up, taking back the folder Nick Fury refused to accept. She ran her thumb over the folder, wondering what the true answers were that no one seemed able to supply her. She stopped herself from dwelling on it too long though, she had her game to play after all. Having unnecessary information like what her name was wouldn't help her when it came to winning the game she was starting with the soldier.

Her eyes connected with Caps again. As he gazed into her eyes he was taken aback by how crepuscular they seemed to be. They were like pools of black ink, deep enough that if he was to fall in there would surely be no way out. The thick ebony liquid would cling to his body, and drag him deeper into her abyss, with an unforgiving assurance; he would be lost forever.

"You could torture me but I'm guessing you already know I'd just get off on the torture. Besides, I really do not know anything. I'm just a weapon."

"You sound almost sad about that," Cap swiftly inquired, tuning in onto the way her tone had faltered slightly as she spoke those last few words.

AS09 didn't seem to share the same awareness which was why her cocky exterior faltered for a second but she was quick to regain composure, the only sign of her falter being a slight twitch of her eyebrow. "I don't know the meaning of the word. Sorry to break it to you-" She waved her hand towards him, giving Cap the opportunity to finish her sentence by providing her with his name but he shook his head.

"I'm not going to tell you my name until you tell me yours." A genuine smile appeared on his face at the preposterous notion that she believed he'd actually give her his name.

AS09 pouted childishly, "but I don't have a name."

Her words were another preposterous notion that Cap didn't believe and so he just shrugged his shoulders, "I guess you won't be getting my name then."

Nick, who had idly stood to the side simply observing as the two conversed, cleared his throat. "It doesn't really matter what she tells us anyway," he said towards Cap before turning to face AS09 with his one beady eye. Her face had become guarded after he said those words. "We can get plenty of information from a blood sample."

From one simple look a female agent who was stood a few centimetres behind the two men walked over, handing Nick a needle.

AS09 stumbled her way backwards and when she had her back pressed firmly against the glass of her prison she raised her arms out, a barrier forming around her body that glowed with an iridescent white light, the way it moved looking the same way moonlight looked reflected on gently swaying water.

As Nick and Cap entered the prison it was Cap who took charge and went to explore the forcefield she'd created. He hadn't thought to bring his shield along with him and so he had no other choice but to use his bare hand.

The second his skin came into contact with AS09's forcefield an unknown force pushed against him harshly, sending him flying all the way back to the closed doorway of her cage. Luckily the glass was strong enough to not crack despite the force behind his contact.

Cap wheezed as he raised his head to look at AS09, shock apparent on his face. Under the white veil of her shield, the blackness of her eyes had never looked so intense.

* * *

 **A/N: Hello once again, it's time to get into the fun stuff now that Cap and AS09 are near to one another. The next two chapters are fun ones, I think chapter five is the one I'm most proud of writing so please look forward to it.**

 **Question of the Week: If you could name AS09 what would you name her? I've already got it all decided but it would be fun to see what you guys think.**

 **To Guest, I'm glad you think so!**

 **To Sam0728, THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENT! I worry a lot about my writing so I appreciate your compliment, hope this chapter lives up to your expectations. If it doesn't, I promise the next two are pretty great (sorry you have to wait until Monday though).**

 **To Kuppcake,** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **And a big thank you to everyone that has read, followed and favourited!**


	5. Chapter Four

**CHAPTER FOUR**

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" _Murderers are not monsters, they're men. And that's the most frightening thing about them."_ _ **\- Alice Sebold**_

* * *

Three weeks had passed since Cap had captured and interrogated AS09. Since then he'd only been given one update from Nick about the progress they'd made with her which was pretty much absolutely _nothing_. Every time they thought her barriers were down she'd find some way to stop them taking a blood sample. She still refused to answer all their questions as well. The only actual piece of 'progress' Nick was able to give Cap is that she mentioned him five times, all those times during roguish, borderline flirtatious, statements.

He'd revisited her folder four more times, usually during night when his mind would wander back to the brunette locked in her cage. He'd repeatedly find himself unsure of the contents of her folder, because _surely_ no one could be that monstrous. It became clear every time that he did revisit her folder why they'd chosen to nickname her Reaper. Because the only other being surrounded by that much death was the Grim Reaper themself.

After another night of exploring her folder he was woken up by a phone call from Nick, he requested that Cap come into the base to have a discussion about the Reaper.

Steve had been unsure at first if he wanted to have anything more to do with the heartless murderer, she'd already gotten into his head. Distance was the only cure he'd been able to find and even then he still found himself revisiting thoughts and feelings about her, it was almost like he was being haunted by her and he dreaded to think what more time with her would concoct. In the end he had to remind himself that this was something bigger than himself, AS09 was a threat to the people he based his life on protecting. That was enough of a reason for him to make the decision to go to SHIELD headquarters.

When Cap arrived to SHIELD he went straight to Fury's office, finding the director sat comfortably in his chair watching a live feed of the Reaper.

She had a stolid expression on her face as she walked from one side of her prison to the other, hands resting casually in the pockets of her black jeans.

"I'm guessing you didn't invite me over to give me good news," the Captain sighed as he seated himself across from Nick. He forced himself to keep his eyes away from the screen that showed her; he knew he'd just get lost once more in trying to figure her out and it wasn't the right time for that.

Nick turned slightly so that he was able to see the television as well as Cap with his one good eye. He proceeded to shrug his shoulders. "One of these days it might happen."

Cap gave Nick a small sideways smile, not able to really put in the effort to laugh as he was very aware that that day was far, far away. It had been a long time since Steve had been given any news to smile about. "Why am I here Nick?" He didn't really have the effort for banter, he'd spent the entire morning preparing himself to deal with AS09.

He knew that it would be far more better suited if they had someone like Natasha Romanoff come in to deal with the Reaper, not getting emotionally compromised was a part of her particular skill set whereas Cap had become emotionally compromised the moment he met AS09.

Nick fully turned to face Cap and clasped his hands together. "Both me and the psychiatrist agree that it would be a good idea for you to talk to the Reaper." He paused, letting Steve digest Nick's idea. He showed no sign of being surprised but he also didn't look any happier over the notion of spending another second in the murderer's company. "She refuses to talk to us and is making it very difficult to get a blood sample. She has, however, shown signs of being interested in you. The psychiatrist seems to think it could be because she sees you as a new challenge seen as you have abilities she won't have encountered before."

"This is spy work Nick, I'm a soldier." He hadn't said no but he felt it important that his worries be brought to the directors attention, though he was pretty sure that Nick would have already thought through such things as well.

"I know," Nick responded, agreeing with Cap's concerns, "but it's the only option we've got left. She says that she was created, that means she works for someone and they could be very dangerous. I'm not asking you to get her to bare her soul, hell I think she sold her soul a long time ago anyway. Just get her talking."

Steve had already made his choice the first time Nick called him and told him that the Reaper had been speaking about him. Even if at first the decision was slightly unconscious, it was the reason he kept revisiting her file, the reason why every time he shut his eyes the black cast by his eyelids reminded him of the dark depths of the Reaper's own eyes. He'd decided a long time ago that they would meet again one day.

"Okay," he eventually agreed to Nick's request, feeling a weight form in his chest the moment he accepted.

Nick watched Steve carefully, analysing his demeanour so that he could make sure that the soldier was actually up for it. When he found nothing other than the usual nervousness any person would feel when having to face a monster such as AS09, he clasped his hands and pushed himself up out of his leather chair. "Let's get this over and done with then."

Together the spy and the soldier went into an elevator, going up another five floors. The elevator doors opened and led to a small room which had one-sided glass against the wall across from the elevator. This room overlooked a much larger space that contained the glass prison which AS09 was withheld in.

As to not waste time and give the weight in his chest a chance to become so heavy it stopped him from being able to walk down to the prisoner, he swiftly stepped towards the doorway on the right of the one-sided glass which led to a staircase down into the room below. Nick remained in the smaller room, using a button on a control panel to ensure that he could hear every word the two said to each other.

AS09's eyes flickered to the staircase ahead of her and she raised her hands in preparation to make another force field but when she saw who it was she relaxed, her bones visibly untightening and a foxy grin flirting across her lips. "Well, well, well," she purred loudly, removing herself from the furthest part of the cage - a place she'd had to settle in so that whenever agents came in to try and get her blood she'd still have enough time to build up a forcefield even if it was a surprise attack whilst she got her twenty minutes of recuperation sleep - and pressed her body as closely to the glass as she could without squishing herself unattractively against it, getting as near to Cap as she could. "Look what the pirate dragged in."

Steve did not respond, he refused to take any part in her games. She wanted to spend more time with him and Steve had made the decision that he'd give her exactly that, and he'd teach her to be more careful about what she wished for.

He stood close to the glass as well, maintaining a larger distance than AS09 was from the glass wall standing between them. "Are you ready to tell us anything yet?"

AS09 cocked her head to the left and she flashed him a playful look which had him crossing his arms across his chest defensively, his lips fell flat and his eyelids went down ever so slightly, giving him a neutral (borderline bored) expression. It would take a lot more from the captain to reign in the ludic side of her.

"I don't think so, what about you, anything you want to tell me?"

It was the way she spoke to him that was possibly the most frustrating for Steve. She spoke to him without any boundaries like they were long time friends sharing a chat over a cup of coffee.

"I do actually," he replied, causing AS09's eyebrows to raise, pupils glistening in excitement. "If you don't start talking then things will get more difficult for you, just because you've assassinated so many people doesn't make you important to SHIELD. They won't care if you die."

Her shoulders fell when she realised he was just there to add to the number of threats she'd been given, even if his words hadn't outright promised future tortures, they certainly painted a picture of an unhappy future quite clearly to the brunette. This wasn't the first time she'd been threatened though and she knew there was nothing he could use against her so she remained completely unchanged by his words. "I do love it when you threaten me," she flirted back at him but he didn't afford her any reaction.

AS09 was a little disappointed that he refused to take part in her little game of pretend, it certainly would have provided her with entertainment during her stay in the prison.

"You like talking a big game, don't you?"

"Is that the reason you came back to me?" She pushed for the game once more with another kittenish comment.

"I came back because Nick seems to think you like me. I don't think you have it in you to like anything." For Steve he felt like his words were unusually cruel, for AS09 his words were just the usual. Though she may be trying her best to play the part of the fox, Steve was only capable of seeing the wolf.

It was that realisation which had her giving up on the game, she walked to her right and seated herself cross legged on the cot, back and head pressed against the glass lazily. There was no longer any reason to pretend. Just like everyone else Cap had invested himself into seeing her as a monster, a weapon meant just for killing. She didn't blame him. She never blamed anyone who thought of her that way because, after all, _it was the truth_.

"Very true," she allured.

"Which part?" He questioned, remaining stiff both with his body and tone of voice

She turned her head so she was able to get a clear look at him. He'd combed his hair again, making that desire within her to mess his hair up rear its head once again. It was a silly desire, a new desire, a desire which she forced to the back of her mind as soon as it rose up. "Which part do you want to be true?"

AS09's voice had taken on a much a much more somber tone and Steve had noticed it. "Have you read the rest of your folder?" He began to attempt directing the conversation, trying to take advantage of her clear change in mood.

"No, why should I?"

"I thought it would have been a nice trip down memory lane for you?"

Her shoulders shrugged. "I don't need the folder to remind me of them."

To that the Captain scoffed, "I've read your file enough times to know remembering all that red is impossible."

"That's what you might think."

Cap was only slightly correct, she couldn't remember their names or what days she executed them. Instead AS09 remembered their eyes, their screams and pleas and cries. She remembered only small things about each individual, enough to make sure that the victim remained a bitter ghost in the hoard that followed AS09 everywhere she went.

"So you remember all the children you killed then?" He felt his emotions bubble to the surface, that same rage he felt whenever he read through her folder releasing a malicious scream as it urged him to yell some more at her, perhaps use violence and avenge all those poor kids that had been killed by her bloody hands.

"Is that what makes me a monster to you, because I've killed children?" Her voice was uncharacteristically soft, though Steve missed out on that small detail as he was too busy recalling as many from her folder as he could, using their names as bricks so through his rage he could build a wall thats sole purpose was to stop any sympathy to go her way.

"They were just children," he said through gritted teeth, "they all had lives that you cut short, they were all innocent. You had no reason to kill them."

"I'm confused, haven't you killed before?" AS09 also had a wall but it had not been built by herself. This wall hid the chaos that occured everytime she killed, it allowed her to pretend that murder had no reason and it needed no cause.

"Yes." He admitted and as AS09 expected he showed no sign of guilt crippling him, only strengthening her verdict that she had no need to be feeling the way everyone was dictating she should towards killing. "But," he continued, "the difference is that I didn't want to kill, I had to in order to save lives. The only reason you kill is for yourself."

His comment on her behaviour bounced off and away from her as though he'd had a forcefield already prepared. She turned away from him and instead looked at the large wall that showed only the reflection of the room. "That's how you stray from the right path and find yourself on the road to hell. It's paved with good intentions until you arrive.

"You make it sound like you were once on the right path, your file says otherwise."

AS09 looked down at the folder which had remained untouched on her cot for quite a while. She realised it couldn't possibly have information on her early life when she was first coming into her role. She didn't think about that part of her life a lot.

Once upon a time AS09 had fought back, refused to kill, but the punishments only became more severe and her younger self eventually came to learn that the only good thing on the path of life she'd been walking down was killing. Her father never treated her nice until she started killing for him.

She jumped up off the cot and returned to standing in front of Steve, wanting to get away from those memories. "I can remember when I first started killing I didn't want to either," she confessed, struggling to look him in the eyes. The brunette quickly berated herself internally, mentally slapping herself for showing a shred of weakness over something as trivial as her childhood. She managed to snap her gaze back up to the soldier, doing her best to fix her earlier mistake with casually spoken, even toned words. "But it's as I said earlier, I'm just a weapon. I kill because it's my only purpose."

"No one is born to kill," his response came swift and with enough strength to tell AS09 that he truly believed what he said. AS09 yearned to also be able to believe his words, but her life was evidence enough to prove he was wrong.

"I was." She replied with an equal amount of assurance in her voice.

Even so, Cap refused to believe her. In fact her words were busting down his barrier with unintentional force. It was hard for a man who spent his life fighting for freedom to be faced by a woman so clearly being forced into entrapment by such a worthless belief. "Then I'm sorry."

A laugh - that was far too gigglish and jovial to belong to such a monster - passed through AS09's lips in a burst of air and she shook her head from side to side as her body bounced up and down because of the laughter. Once she'd calmed down a little she placed a hand on top of her stomach to soothe the delightful pain her chortling had caused. "You have confused me," she guffawed, "there's no need for you to be apologising. Especially when a moment ago you hated me and the things I do."

"I still do," he countered, "I'm just sorry that you've been raised to think that about yourself."

"I wasn't raised, I was created."

"Is it easier for you to pretend like you're not human?"

"I'm not pretending," _I'm simply going along with what the world tells me_ she wanted to add but chose against it, seeing such a statement as an obvious show of weakness. "I'm just a weapon." She repeated, growing tired of having to say that fact so many times to the soldier and his pirate friend.

"That's starting to sound more and more like a lie."

Steve's words had been earnest and it put her into an even more melancholy mood, the only response she could bring herself to give him was the rise and fall of her shoulders. She had to painfully force herself to keep her eyes looking into his, refusing to show any more weaknesses despite the feeling of every insecurity wrapping around her body as large hands, constraining her body to the point where she had become rigid.

Steve had blue eyes. AS09 had known eyes like that before but they were vicious, callous and unforgiving. They were the glacial eyes belonging to the Winter Soldier, those eyes were ice cold and knew nothing of warmth. The man that had stood before her, however, had eyes that were a scorching blue, they were the reason people said blue flames burned the hottest. If her eyes were the night sky than his was how the sky looked early on a summer's day, a cast and perfectly clear lapis shade which held promises.

The two fell into a silence that wasn't necessarily uncomfortable. Steve wondered how AS09 had become like the way she was and AS09 wondered if what the soldier had said could possibly be true, but in the end decided that it all seemed just too preposterous. The blue eyed soldier couldn't even begin to understand how she had become the way she was and therefore anything he said on the matter couldn't possibly be true.

After a few more moments he seemed to come to the conclusion that their meeting was over and so he turned to walk away, only being forced to pause when AS09's hands came into contact with the glass wall. "Wait," she cried out urgently, not fully in control of her motions and only half aware of the desire she had for him to stay.

"Excuse me?" He asked calmly with raised eyebrows.

"Stay." She commanded, causing his eyebrows to raise even higher on his forehead. AS09 quickly tried to fumble together an explanation of why she wanted him to stay with her and it proved itself difficult, the words stumbling through her lips with urgency. "You can't leave now, you're my only form of entertainment whilst I'm stuck in here and you've put me in a rather somber mood so you owe me. I'll accept you staying with me for a little while longer as payment."

Steve wanted to stay and that was exactly why he had to leave. He'd already become emotionally compromised and he needed to figure out whether or not she was really someone who needed help as well as someone who could actually _be_ helped.

As he walked away she tightened her left hand, digging her nails into her palm until she felt somewhat in control again.

* * *

 **A/N: Hello again!**

 **BIG NEWS: Upload date has been changed to Sunday, cause why not?**

 **So, my god, I have written so much I'm like two weeks ahead of schedule and I'm kind of tempted to do a double posting but we'll see, if I finish my current chapter then I'll post another. BUT LIKE SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED IN THE FANFIC AND I WANT TO TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT BUT I CAN'T. It's easier for me to manage posting by writing chapters in advance but jeez do I hate not having you guys to discuss my story with, because I never let people I know read my stories or fanfiction, I find it really awkward. But yeah, sorry, I'm rambling. It's very late and I literally have just spent my entire day writing. Didn't even eat until I realised it was nine at night.**

 **QUESTION OF THE WEEK: Not really a question but GIVE ME YOUR THEORIES! I try and add little hints here and there through metaphors and stuff like that but I doubt they'll become obvious until the reveals all happen. I'll take theories on anything, her powers, her name, who her father is, where she'll end up in life, what her favourite food is. AS09 hasn't ever watched a movie so I hate to blow anyones bubble but she doesn't have a favourite movie... yet.**

 **To Sam0728, enjoy the new chapter honey!**

 **To Idunno, same.**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, what makes you think she hasn't already gotten a name? Just something for you to think about.**

 **And also a big thank you to everyone that liked and followed and even simply read! Every little counts as a big load of motivation for me.**


	6. Chapter Five

**CHAPTER FIVE**

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" _Do not look for happiness outside yourself. The awakened seek happiness inside."_ _**\- Peter Dunov**_

* * *

Steve visited her three more times during her stay in the SHIELD prison. The next time he visited her was quite similar to their previous interactions, he tried to get her to share more information about her past, she used kittenish comments to try and avoid that particular topic.

The next visit he made to her cage came after one whole week of the two being apart and for some reason it had caused AS09 to go slightly stir crazy. She'd become addicted to his presence and it was all down to those odd occasions when he'd say something that made her feel like an actual human being.

The soldier had a softness about him that AS09 had never had the privilege of encountering before. Even when he would say cruel things she knew that he was only being cruel to be kind.

AS09 had been sat on her cot, knees against her chest and nose inside of her folder, it had taken her a while to get around to it but boredom had motivated her to explore its depths. The sound of shoes clashing against the steel of the staircase that led down into her prison took her attention away from the papers and towards the blond soldier with blue eyes.

To her surprise he was dressed in a dark blue suit that had a silver star accompanied by stripes against the chest. She suspected that this was his uniform that he wore when out on missions but decided against saying anything about it, it's not like he'd willingly share information about his work for SHIELD anyway.

"Is this going to become a regular thing, you visiting me?" She asked, pretending like she hadn't been counting the days since their last interaction, her hatred growing towards the loneliness she was bitterly use to and all because she would much rather be with Steve, even if all their conversations consisted of him asking the brunette questions and her avoiding them.

He gave her that same exasperated expression he always sent her way when she said something coquettish. His eyebrows and lips fell into a flat shape as his gaze lingered on her face, sending out a look that was judgemental. That wasn't the only part of his look AS09 was able to notice though. He also looked very tired.

"Don't get too excited, I refuse to let this become a regular thing." His hand gripped tightly around the stairs rail as he pushed himself down the last few steps.

His movements seemed much slower than they normally did and his feet dragged against the floor with every step he took, the sight of Cap being so tired had AS09 cocking her head to the side, "you don't seem as zealous as usual."

His lips raised slightly to the side and his hand rested on the belt of his suit, he tried to stand a little taller, "you don't look too good yourself."

Though his scoffed words were passed off as a joking remark, they were also very true. Though SHIELD had been more accommodating than her father was when she was being held in the pit (allowing her toilet breaks, for example) she was still growing thinner from the lack of a balanced and fulfilling diet, her clothes were mingling with her sweat and grime, and she had dark circles underneath her hollowed eyes due to her avoiding long durations of sleep. That's why she had no smart retort she could return with, the brunette simply shrugged her shoulders and accepted that she looked horrendous.

Steve surprised her even more as he continued walking to the glass of the cage, pressing his hand against a square panel which opened up the door.

"What are you doing?" She urgently questioned, dropping her folder to the side of her so she could concentrate on creating a forcefield around her body.

The soldier seemed to pay no attention to her obvious panicking, he entered the prison cell and allowed the door to lock itself behind him.

AS09 was tense as he continued his journey over towards her cot, seating himself beside her just far enough away to not be affected by the white forcefield which pulsed and swayed around her. He grabbed her folder before sitting himself next to her, dropping it onto the floor before lazily placing himself next to her. His back and head rested against the glass and he closed his eyes, inhaling and exhaling a long breathe, making it look like the simple action took a lot of effort.

"What are you doing?" She asked again, her unsureness of what he would do aggravating her more than him actually being in close proximity to her.

He opened only one eye to look at her, his eyes connecting to hers which were forced into cautionary slits. There was nothing to behold in her eyes, they gave absolutely nothing away, they were just endless caverns of black ink.

"You're right," was his response, "I am tired, so I'm sitting down. I also don't want to talk about why either of us are here, I just want to have a normal human conversation."

He wasn't entirely sure why he'd chosen to come to her for this. He had just returned from a mission that at first had seemed pretty simple. They went onto a ship in the middle of the indian ocean, the ship had been taken over by pirates, their leader a man named Georges Batroc. The further into the mission he got the more complicated it became though, it turned out the ship was one of SHIELD's and after he finished off the head pirate he came to find his partner, Natasha, was on an entirely separate mission to gain information from the computers on the ship. Once he'd returned back he was a tad upset that he'd been lied to so much and confronting Nick hadn't resolved anything, though the director tried to convince Steve that he was on the soldier's side Steve still struggled to believe anything he was saying. His gut had been telling him there was something wrong for quite a while but there was very little evidence to prove his theory.

The director had lied to him once before on his first mission with the Avengers, that had already worn down his trust for the man and the department quite a considerable amount. Unlike AS09.

The soldier was about to go home when he remembered the brunette locked in her glass prison five floors above him. And though he didn't know much about her, she was the only thing left associated with SHIELD that wasn't lying to him. She withheld information, but she never lied and in some ways she was more honest to him than anyone else. Steve still often questioned why but in that moment it brought him a little comfort.

"I'm not sure I know how to do that." She said unsurely, the light of her forcefield beginning to dim.

"Because you're a weapon?" Steve retorted, not really thinking through what words he was saying to the killer for once. It seemed AS09 wasn't offended at all by his words though, simply nodding her head in agreement with him. He shrugged his shoulders, "that's okay, this can be a learning experience for you then."

When she didn't put up any argument against doing so he began to speak of any topic that came to his mind, listening to her when she spoke and replying with earnest responses.

At the start of the conversation AS09 was actually nervous, a feeling she was familiar with but she'd only ever felt it when being threatened with the naughty pit as a child. This was different, there was no mixture of fear melding with the erratic butterflies in her stomach. It was the purest form of nervousness she'd ever felt and it seemed to slip away, the butterflies calming as the conversation proceeded.

What both soldier and assassin found surprising was how much they found to talk about without revealing anything of their lives outside of her little prison. The first topic they talked about were interests and hobbies, when the brunette responded by saying her interests and hobbies all revolved around killing he told her that the first thing she needed to know about normal human conversations is that they tend to avoid talking about killing people.

It was quite difficult for AS09 to do that at first, he talked about his interest in drawing and the only thing she could think about was the one artist she had killed five years ago. And when they moved on to other things like music he enjoyed listening to and new music he was discovering (he didn't mention the fact that he'd been frozen for seventy years and was catching up on most pop culture trends) all she was able to think about with regards to that topic were the three musicians she had killed, two classical ones and one rockstar.

It was difficult finding a conversation topic that they could both talk about but eventually they both congenitally discussed places they'd visited that they thought were beautiful. For him he was a big fan of New York, it was where he grew up and there was so much about it that he loved and missed. For AS09 she told him about a woods she once entered, she didn't tell him that she was there hunting down another victim, she simply spoke of how much she was humbled by the woodland area in spring.

Though she didn't know what the name of the woods was or even where it was located, she remembered how endless and timeless the setting had been.

As she spoke of that place and how it affected her, AS09 was hit with this new sensation that brought her a feeling similar to shedding off a layer of constraining clothing, baring what was underneath. It hurt slightly but the outcome felt almost refreshing. Her forcefield faded completely and her arms fell limply at her side. Whilst speaking she'd been looking forward with a whimsical expression and her facial features remained relaxed as she turned to face the soldier that sat slack beside her, finding that he'd been staring at her the entire time with a small smile on his face.

"That sounds amazing," he acknowledged, beginning to see another side to the wolf. It was not a softer side, nor was it a kinder side, it was a side kept hidden because the world wasn't ready to see something like that from such a monster. It was her humanity.

It was blatant that AS09 didn't even know she had that side in her and he knew in that moment that's what truly kept him coming back. Ever since she told him that she was born to kill he knew that whatever had happened to her had caused her to lock up that part of her and hide it so far away even she became unaware of its existence. Anyone else would tell Steve that he was just being too sympathetic, in fact he even thought it of himself sometimes, he'd remind himself that the folder he'd read multiple times was the biggest piece of proof that all she was, was a wild beast fixated on causing bloodshed. But he could see it, that flicker of light within her.

"It was amazing," she said, voice soft and uncharacteristically quiet. "Tell me more about New York though, Brooklyn was it?"

He nodded, "yeah, Brooklyn. It isn't the most beautiful place, it's more my memories that make the place a lot better. Which is weird because most of my memories are of being bullied and going on awkward dates-"

"What's a date?"

"A date?" He seemed surprised by her question, unsure of how to really describe a date seen as he wasn't a specialist on the topic either and all of his never turned out right. "Well… basically… it's just two people spending time together and getting to know each other better, I guess."

"So is this a date?"

Considering how many flirtatious comments she'd been making towards him he was a little thrown off by her lack of knowledge, it certainly spoke volumes for how much of her life had gone unlived. Further proving his theory that she'd been forced into a certain lifestyle from a young age.

"No," he chuckled lowly, "normally on a date two people who like each other will go somewhere. My last date, if you can even call it that, I went to the Stark expo on a double date."

She ignored the Stark expo part of his conversation seen as she had absolutely no idea what that was, instead she concentrated on the few words of his that she could understand. "I'm guessing it didn't go very well then?"

Again he could only shake his head from side to side though a smile grew on his lips despite the memory not being pleasant. "Not at all, I ended up ditching the date and the girl went off with my best friend and his date." A small ache scratched at his heart as he reminded himself of Bucky, a friend he truly wished was with him in that moment. For the longest time Bucky was all Steve had and he knew the space Bucky left empty would never be filled again.

"That doesn't sound like a good friend."

"No," he disagreed quickly, voice not turning aggressive though because he understood AS09 didn't know what she was talking about. "No, he was a great friend. Saved my life more times than he should have. If anything, I was the bad friend." Images flashed before Steve's eyes of his friend falling into icy depths, the guilt that had become very familiar tainting his mood.

"What's it like having friends like that?" She asked the question in a hushed voice, almost hoping he didn't hear what she'd said. AS09 knew this would count as a weakness, though she was use to the bitter loneliness she'd lived with her entire life that didn't mean she enjoyed it. To have a friend would be a wonderful thing indeed, but weapons don't have friends.

When she was around fifteen her father had said that he was her only friend and the only friend she'd ever need. And then the next day he'd gotten the Winter Soldier to beat her, he said he was making her stronger but the bruises and broken bones told a different story. She'd told him that she didn't want him as her friend anymore, he threw her into the pit.

The question had Steve perking up slightly, his mind going back to the more positive times that he and Bucky shared together. "It's great, you know you're never alone and you know you've always got someone there to look after you."

"Are you lonely now?"

The question had Steve's eyebrows raising slightly, he looked back to AS09 and saw the discomfort written in her clenched expression. The fact that she was obviously struggling with the topic herself struck a chord within him and somehow he managed to get out an honest answer, throwing caution to the wind and revealing to the killer one of his weaknesses, "yes."

"Do you think-" _Do you think we could be friends?_ The words were on the tip of her tongue but she couldn't get them out, her father's voice flooding her mind like a vicious wave crashing down onto her serene shores, pushing aside all her words and forcing her to drown in his. She blinked, eyes falling to her hand that she clenched tightly. "Nevermind."

He wanted to know what it was she was going to say but decided not to force her, clearly this was a conversation outside of her comfort zone. It showed vulnerability and the soldier could understand why she didn't want to show her weaknesses to him. As pleasant as their conversation might have been, it was wrong for both of them to forget which sides they stood on.

Still, the gentlemen in him couldn't allow her to continue drowning in her discomfort and so he tried to offer some words of comfort, "it's okay."

Her eyes rose up to his once more and he was shocked to see actual flecks of colour in her iris', the closer he looked the clearer it became. There were flecks of brown, the same shade of earth after being kissed by rain, a hue that promised life from dormant seeds beneath them. There was something blossoming in her in that moment.

"Is it?" AS09 felt meager, small. She felt the pain in her hands as her nails digged deeper into her skin.

Steve was disappointed in himself because he was incapable of answering her, and he also felt frustrated at the fact that he had become far too emotionally involved. He needed to remind himself that he was the soldier and she was the monster.

"What's your name?" Steve hated how he couldn't keep the emotion from wavering his tone, he wanted to sound cold and unattached but the care he felt towards the fragile being before him leaked out in torrents.

AS09's eyes fell back down. Of course he didn't have an answer to her previous question, he did but he just didn't want to say the truth she already knew. It wasn't okay, nothing about her current situation was okay and she had no idea what she was suppose to do about it. She began to feel angry at herself, this was just another mission, she was just another weapon placed in an appropriate position so when the time came she could fire with a lethal shot. One day she was going to kill the man that sat beside her, and all of a sudden she was finding herself not wanting to. That had never happened before. Then again she had never been spoken to so kindly before.

"I told you already, I don't have a name." The brunette managed to keep her voice empty of any feelings; she wanted to keep it that way so she refused to look at him anymore.

"Really?" It was the one thing he was unsure about, they knew from scans that she was 100% human so for her to not have a name seemed quite surreal.

"Really." She responded.

Without warning he wrapped an arm around her shoulder, she twitched erratically in response. Her arms raised speedily and she was prepared to send out a forcefield that would push him back towards the glass with a force that might have actually caused the glass to crack. But she didn't. She could have, but the way that he gently rubbed his hand against her bicep made her freeze.

Despite the heaviness that lurched in her stomach, it fluttered at the feeling of her body being pressed against his. She sunk into the warmth of his side tentatively, appreciative of the simple gesture that was entirely unfamiliar. His touch made the room a little warmer somehow, her future within its glass walls all of a sudden seemed a little less bleak. She didn't know how she was supposed to feel, but she liked it. It felt wrong to feel such a way, but the gentle touch wasn't threatening, it was simply a benevolent touch and that very fact was enough to cause tears to form in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, making the warmth grow even larger because she thought that he meant he was sorry about the life she'd had to live. What a stupid thought.

A sharp needle pierced the skin of her arm and sucked out blood, the sensation caused her to freeze momentarily before AS09's instincts kicked in and she jumped up from the cot. Steve had already pulled the syringe out of her arm by that point so there was no further damage made, she sprung so far away from him that her body was pressing closely against the glass opposite from him.

Heavy breaths escaped her as rage took over her very core. It felt almost inhuman, like fire passing through every vein demanding her to desire one thing only, a desire to hate. Animalistic screeches teetered at the back of her throat. She embodied a wildfire, ready to burn everything she touched with destructive capabilities no one ever wished to see. She had felt that rage before. It was the kind of rage that came from betrayal. It was the same rage she danced with whenever wronged by her father.

He stood up and when she finally looked at his face she was insulted further for he had the audacity to look sorry for what he did.

When he took a step forward she thrust out her arm and Steve felt an invisible force push him back slightly, his shoes making a squeaking sound as he skidded back until the back of his knees touched the cot the two had previously been seated on. AS09 hadn't used her full power, Steve was at least aware of that. What he wished he was aware of was just how much she detested him in that moment, he knew he'd probably betrayed her a hurtful amount but he needed to know how much work he'd have to put in to cure the folly. The reason behind why he needed to know that, he wasn't sure of.

"Stay away from me," she warned, voice low. "It's taking every bit of willpower I have not to kill you right now. Leave."

"Why are you holding back?" He interrogated, pursuing his mission over the pursuit of retribution.

AS09 cocked her head to the side, "you want me to kill you?"

"I want to know what kind of game you're playing here," was his response and the tone of his voice only made her rage even more. He spoke like he did the first time he met her, like he was above her and like she was just a lowly monster.

The soldier needed to learn that this monster was created to strip lungs of their very breath. To destroy pretty little things and burn them into pretty little pieces of dust. To bring the entire world to its knees and hear her name be spoken only in _fearful_ whispers. She was made to be a fearsome monster, that was a role she had come to fulfill and she would bring down that might on him with just the flick of her finger if she so desired.

"How dare you accuse me of playing games after what you just did," her eyes had gone back to black and though Steve's gaze lingered for only a second, it was enough to make him feel like he had spent an eternity locked in the bitter blackness of her eyes. "Whatever," she spat, "I'm sure you'll manage to figure it out. You're not just a pretty face after all, right?"

"Captain," a new voice appeared at the top of the staircase that led to her prison, "I'm surprised to see you here."

Both the soldier and the monster turned to see who had appeared, what they saw though was extremely different according to each individual. Steve Rogers saw Alexander Pierce, a member of the World Security Council and the head of SHIELD. AS09 saw her father, and the very sight of him froze every inch of fire she had burning through her body. Once again she clenched her fists. Control, she needed control.

Cap stood up straighter, "I'm surprised to see you here too." He looked from Pierce to the Reaper and the look on her face made him extremely suspicious, he'd become quite good at reading her. She was very closed off when it came to anything that she labelled a weakness. Fear, vulnerability, sadness, they were all things he knew she thought of as weaknesses. And when he looked at her, her voice was completely empty of emotion. She associated Pierce with one of those emotions, that was clear enough to Steve and it was only making his distrust towards SHIELD grow.

"I decided to pay our visitor a visit seen as we're not making any leeway with her, I thought I might try." Pierce gave his explanation casually as he walked down the stairs, though he was speaking to Cap his gaze remained constantly fixed on AS09. When he reached the end of the staircase he finally looked towards the soldier, giving Cap his best convincing smile.

AS09 turned back to Steve, wishing she could beg him to save her but knowing there was really no requirement. She was Pierce's weapon, that was how she was meant to be, she didn't need saving.

Cap remained stone faced during the interaction and because he didn't have any palpable evidence against SHIELD yet he revealed the syringe to Pierce, "I've managed to get a blood sample now so we'll finally make some progress."

Pierce stared at the blood sample silently for a few seconds. Those silent seconds that passed conjured up fear within AS09's heart, he was mad, she knew he was mad at her because he'd gone silent. "Great," he eventually proclaimed, smiling widely. To anyone else it would simply look like a toothy grin, to AS09 it was the same as a tiger baring its teeth. It was a threat intent for her. "I'll take it down to the labs for you."

"No," Steve pulled the syringe out of Pierce's view, his word causing both AS09 and Pierce's eyes to raise slightly, "I'm done here so I'll go do it myself, then I think I'm going to head home. It's been a tiring day." Steve's sentences were short and detached, he began to make his way towards the door before Pierce could argue against him. He didn't look back towards AS09 as he exited her prison and began to make his way up the stairs. Pierce finally looked at her though, and his eyes were once again holding the promise of future tortures. But of course Steve was incapable of seeing, the soldier finally turned back around to face her once he'd reached the doorway at the top of the staircase. AS09 looked towards him, a part of her reaching out towards him with a ghostly pale hand, begging for him to come save her from the real monster. But that part was hidden under layers of skin, invisible to the naked eye and sadly Steve didn't know her well enough to see that part of her yet.

Once he left (along with her blood sample) AS09's eyes drifted to her father, he stood two inches away from the glass. His hands had remained behind his back the entire time he'd been talking with Steve but once the super soldier was gone he moved his hand to the front of his suit, flashing a device that AS09 was familiar with because she'd had to use it on many missions. It was a small device with a button on the front of it, when pressed the device would cut out all surveillance in the room so they could have a conversation in silence.

He raised one eyebrow at her and she knew what that meant, she needed to do something to make everyone think that the power shortage was her fault and not Pierce's. With a sigh she raised her arms high into the air, "how dare you come to talk to me, I'll only talk to him, get away from me!" She then pushed out her arms theatrically and as she did that he pressed the button, starting the power shortage which would give them an entire ten minutes to talk to each other.

As soon as their time had started his face contorted into one of anger, his eyebrows became tightly knit and his lips fell into a frown. "How could you let him get a blood sample?"

"I'm sorry, he came at me unexpectedly. I had no idea he even had a syringe."

"That is no excuse!" He was keeping his voice to a whisper just in case but the way he spoke was like he was spitting venom through his teeth at her, if there wasn't the glass between them she'd actually worry about his acidic voice burning her skin. "Now they're going to have more information about you on file and this _will_ jeopardize future missions for you." He began to waggle his hand at her, pointing a finger accusingly at her, as though she meant for it all to happen. It was like he was pressing that finger deeply into an open wound, she was still hurt from the fact she'd allowed herself to get so close and comfortable with a man that was clearly nothing but an enemy.

"Then why did you even put me on this damn mission?!" She hissed back, causing Pierce's mouth to open wider in surprise at her defiant statement. It seemed rather strange but she felt safer in that glass prison than she had in a very long while, he couldn't throw her in the pit as long as she stayed in that prison.

"Are you questioning our cause?" His voice had once again returned to a calmness that was more threatening than his actual rage.

AS09 wanted to say that yes, she was questioning their cause. It was a cause she'd never been a part of, she'd only ever killed for them but this was a mission that required much more than killing and she was not prepared to provide that but she'd been forced into the position by the very man who was berating her for failing at the mission.

Maybe Cap had been right, maybe someone was playing a game. Only, AS09 was beginning to feel like a game was being played on her.

"I knew this would happen," he chuckled darkly, staring at the girl with disgust, "you're nothing but a weapon. I clearly overestimated your abilities by thinking you had the ability to do what was asked of you. I thought that you could possibly be more but clearly you can't do anything other than kill. That's all you're good for, killing."

And just like that it was like the entire conversation with Steve, and the way he made her feel, didn't even happen at all. There was absolutely no doubt in her mind that all she was meant for in the world was killing.

The only person AS09 was able to open up around was her father but even then it took a lot, she struggled to contain her inner weaknesses around him when he was the one that caused her to feel so small and more often than not he was allowed to see when he'd broken her. The tears she'd been holding in for Cap fell out of her eyes and her shoulders slumped, he sighed. It was meant to sound kind but she knew it was fake, she knew that he was just making the sound to convince her that he cared. She'd learnt the hard way that he never cared.

"Look," he said, "it doesn't matter. All that matters now is that you finish this mission, once it's over it won't matter that they have your blood. I just need you to continue distracting the Captain and Nick Fury whilst we work on our plans. I know it's never really mattered to you but what we're doing is for a good cause, we will save millions of lives."

Save wasn't even a part of her vocabulary and that was his fault, through blurred vision she glared towards him. "Is that what will happen to me when this is all over, will I be saved?"

She didn't get to see the disdainful look he sent her way because the tears fogged up her vision. AS09 didn't really need to see it, it was the expression she always imagined her father having whenever she thought of him. The monster also didn't get a reply, her father simply walked away but he didn't part from her without saying eight words to her. "Just do what you were made to do."

She counted the seconds after he left, she counted the minutes until an hour was passed and then she broke down. Not caring that the camera's would be up and running again, only caring that a battlefield was going on within her and it was tearing her apart from the inside. She sobbed and screamed like she would if she were placed in the pit because she felt so trapped, even when free from the pit wherever her father went it was like she was back there.

And then she went back to being the weapon she was born to be.

The third and final time that Steve came to visit was two days after. He stormed down the stairs, jumping down two steps at a time so he could quickly make his way towards her cage. She didn't say anything as she watched him rush towards her prison cell, opening up the door but not entering. He was once again dressed in his uniform with the shield he'd used during their first fight on his back.

He put out his hand, a look of urgency on his face. "Come on," he rushed, "we need to get out of here. Now."

* * *

 **A/N: Bit of a long one for you today, you'll probably notice that my chapters vary in length. I never write a chapter lower than 2,000 words though! Funnily enough, this is the chapter that made me decide to start posting my writings again. I'd stopped posting both original stories and fanfiction online because I'm always scared of the reactions, this is a big project for me (expecially with how I've portrayed my OC) so I genuinely was just going to keep it a private thing. But after I wrote this chapter during a dark moment in my life I just decided I wanted to have other people read this. Yeah... ANYWAY SORRY FOR GETTING DEEP I'VE BEEN DRINKING A LIL' NOT GOING TO LIE!**

 **To Sam0728, it's something like that I suppose. She's done it in earlier chapters though, I should probably put a trigger warning on this actually because her doing that is actually a form of self harm. I'm about to go deep into this because this is a trait I've thought a lot about so feel free to skip the next part but THANK YOU AGAIN FOR READING AND COMMENTING I LOVE YOU BOO! Anyway, she's been 'created' and brought up to cause pain in order to feel powerful, so what is she meant to do in the darker moments when there's no one around to hurt? She takes it out on herself. The saddest part is that she sees no issue with doing that because her entire life people have just caused her pain, she was made to take pain and deal out pain. That's why Steve's so important. But I'm going to stop there before I start spoiling stuff.**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, thank you for the comment! My current issue with the story is that she has too many names. So far you've been given Experiment AS09 and Reaper, and I've already revealed two other names she has but no ones realised yet. In total she has five names during the length of the story, thankfully she gets an official name during part two. So look forward to that. There's four parts so I hope the issue with her naming won't be that much of an issue.**

 **AND A BIG THANK YOU TO EVERY ELSE THAT HAS ACTUALLY READ THE STORY AS WELL AS MY AUTHOR'S NOTE, YA AWESOME! SEE YOU NEXT SUNDAY.**


	7. Chapter Six

**CHAPTER SIX**

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" _There's something in us that is very much attracted to madness. Everyone who looks off the edge of a tall building has felt at least a faint, morbid urge to jump."_ _ **\- Stephen King**_

* * *

 _The third and final time that Steve came to visit was two days after. He stormed down the stairs, jumping down two steps at a time so he could quickly make his way towards her cage. She didn't say anything as she watched him rush towards her prison cell, opening up the door but not entering. He was once again dressed in his uniform with the shield he'd used during their first fight on his back._

 _He put out his hand, a look of urgency on his face._ _"Come on," he rushed, "we need to get out of here. Now."_

* * *

She looked down towards his open palm, expression empty. She couldn't fully comprehend what was actually happening, he had appeared so suddenly and demanded such a strange thing. AS09 definitely hadn't forgiven him for tricking her so her first thought when he was urging her wasn't 'yes, I trust you and what you're saying to me so I'll leave no questions asked', it was more like 'fuck you'.

Steve was breathing heavily with sweat sliding down his forehead and his hair which was usually combed into a neat position was in disarray, that was somewhat proof to AS09 that something had occured but their last interaction together taught her that Steve couldn't be trusted.

Steve could see the wariness in the brunette's expression, she hadn't so much as twitched when he ran into her prison and demanded they leave, remaining in her position on her floor despite his franticness. He completely understood why she was behaving in such a way though. How she'd be reacting to him is all he'd been able to think about since he tricked her and forced out of her a blood supply. He'd think about how he'd become more of a spy and how he didn't really like that particular change. He'd think a lot about AS09's face after he stuck her with that syringe, how betrayed she had looked, he'd even think about AS09's past and whether or not he was the first to embrace her in such a kind way, though that thought always made the guilt feel much worse.

The soldier still had no idea how he was going to make things better between them, the first thing he needed to figure out was whether or not he should actually be trying to make things right with her because she was the enemy.

Either way, in that moment in time, such things were merely trivial.

"SHIELD has been compromised," he offered as an explanation.

AS09 thought she'd gotten a good understanding of Steve's personality, his voice was ardent and solemn, she would have believed him and a part of her truly wanted to but after the passing two days that part of her had been chained up and labelled a dunce.

"What does that have to do with me?" She finally spoke up, her tone bored and uninterested.

The soldier dropped his hand, looking to the door atop the staircase, knowing they had very limited time. "I'm not sure yet," he answered as he turned back to look at her. He finally took note of what she had been doing. In front of her the contents of her folder had been splayed out, divided into two piles; some of the papers had been ripped in half so that they could be split into the two different sections.

"That doesn't exactly fill me with confidence," she scoffed but her comment went ignored as Cap wandered in further to try and get a better look at which papers had been divided and hopefully deduce why. AS09 caught onto what he was attempting to do fairly quickly and sighed, she wanted to go back to their initial topic as it seemed rather important and so she saw no point in hiding what was in front of her, doing so would only waste their time as Steve inevitably questioned it. She slapped one hand onto the left pile, "on this side are the people I was ordered to kill and on this side," she slapped her other hand onto the right pile, "are the people I chose to kill."

For AS09 the piles were simply proof that she was the weapon she'd been raised to be, a gun full to the brim with bullets and the safety constantly off. But for Steve, the two piles of paper showed him the exact opposite, to him the very act of AS09 putting in her time to split all the missions showed that the monster was beginning to reflect, the starting point for any sort of change.

His eyes looked back up from the messy piles to her eyes and he was awed by what he saw. Her pitch black iris' still contrasted sharply against the whites of her eyes, still resembled the very depths of a black hole. But there was something else there if he looked hard enough. If he travelled far enough into the midnight pools he could find glowing embers of a partially extinguished fire, begging to be relit once more. All it required was the assistance of someone willing to drown in her depths.

Steve decided he was willing to drown for her.

"I'm giving you a choice here." His eyes flickered down to the piles on the floor, making a decision in his mind that he hoped he wouldn't end up regretting. "I'm also giving you a chance."

AS09 knew she should have hated the way he looked at her in that moment. He looked at her like there was something worth looking at, something more than just the well known beast within. He looked at her in a way that denied everything she truly was; he looked at her like she needed to be saved but she was looking for a sword, not a knight. He looked at her like he could see all her broken parts and even still he accepted them, but she wasn't fragile like a flower, she was fragile like a _bomb_.

And yet her heart swelled at the softness in his voice, in his eyes, and in his words. It was the part of her she seemed to lose control of whenever the soldier was around her, the part of her that was dangerous and could compromise a lot of things if she allowed it to be loose of its chains.

"I'm not sure the pirate will be very happy with you doing that," she veiled her thoughts behind another coy statement which came accompanied by the slight rise in the corner of her lips as well as a cool detachment in her eyes.

"Director Fury is dead," he said solemnly, wiping the smirk off of her face. Not because of Nick dying but because of the grief that became apparent on Steve's face as he shared the news with her, she definitely hated seeing it there, she'd much rather see a smile and she'd even deal with his cold and serious soldier mode again over such a sad version of himself. But she had no idea how she could actually help him and that only aggravated her more, making her twist uncomfortably from where she was sat on the floor.

Steve looked back at the door, feeling hyper aware of the limited time he had to convince AS09 that he wouldn't betray her again, believing it was the syringe incident that had caused her to close off, not knowing it was her talk with her father after the incident that had affected her the most.

"Look," he began as he turned back to face her, crouching so that they were on the same level, "I don't know everything that's going on but I promise you that you won't be safe here. I want you to come here and I hope you'll be able to help me figure out what is going on."

"Whats a 'promise'?" She asked, eyes examining his every feature to look for any sign that he was lying.

He didn't even flinch at her question, use to her not knowing certain things he would consider basic knowledge by that point, "a promise is a huge commitment; once someone makes a promise that person can't go back on it. It's a big deal and should only be made if the person making it is 100% sure that they can keep the promise made."

She took a moment to fully take in his words, when AS09 opened her mouth to formulate a reply she was interrupted by the door at the top of the stairs sliding open, releasing numerous agents that charged through and rushed down the staircase to get to them.

Both the soldier and the assassin jumped up, Steve instantly moving to fight the agents whilst AS09 remained in place. Steve managed to knock two down as he rapidly made his way to the control panel, knowing one of the agents might be able to hurt AS09 inside the glass prison if they did reach the panel. He wasn't sure what all the buttons did but he did know that there were buttons on there that could do some serious damage.

He used his shield to knock two agents away from the control panel, twisting his body in order to kick the chest of another agent, following the kick up by bringing down the edge of his shield onto the mans head with enough force to knock the agent out and possibly cause a concussion. It was a folly to turn his back to the staircase as one of the agents who remained stood at the top of the stairs took out a gun and shot at Cap.

Steve was quick enough to turn around and face the oncoming bullet but he wasn't fast enough to bring up his shield to protect himself. He closed his eyes tightly and awaited the inevitable painful connection.

"Hey pretty face," the familiar voice of the assassin called out, Steve opened his eyes and turned to see AS09 stood in the exact same spot but with her hand raised. "Don't just stand there." She ordered, smirking slightly and when he looked back to where the bullet had been coming from he found the bullet frozen in mid air only a few centimetres away from his face. Knowing that his life was no longer at risk he continued forward to the staircase, meanwhile AS09 sent the bullet flying towards the leg of an agent trying to run towards her.

When Steve heard the sound of someone behind him crying out in pain he found himself distracted once more as he turned to see AS09 walking out of the glass cage and beginning to fight against three agents that had slipped past him. "Don't kill anyone!" He yelled at her, forcing himself to concentrate back on two agents that charged towards him on the staircase.

AS09 faulted in her fighting, questioning for a moment how she was meant to fight the agents - people that had come there for the sole purpose of killing either Steve or her, or both - without taking their lives. That faltering opened up a chance for one of the agents to connect their fist with her chin. The pain caused by the punch was barely felt, it was the annoyance of being hit that had AS09's hands twitching to kill.

There was absolutely no reason for AS09 to do what Cap had asked of her. Nothing had changed, AS09 was still a weapon, still only knew killing as an equal to joy, still saw Cap as the enemy.

AS09 should have killed all three of the agents who thought it was smart to take her on.

She grabbed the hand of the one that had hit her and dragged his fist forward so it hit one of the oncoming agents, she then used her free hand to teach the agent she still had a hold on what a good hit on the chin was suppose to feel like. There was a satisfying crunch. Whilst the agent was thrown off by the punch she grabbed his shoulders, kicked him in every man's weak spot with her knee, and then used her powers to throw the agent up towards the staircase to topple over another agent that was rushing down to get to Steve.

She instantly moved onto the next agent, catching his fist so she could pull it towards herself, she pushed out her foot behind his and then brought it forward to get the agent onto the floor. Whilst he was down she brought her foot down and cracked one of his ribs, possibly dislocating his shoulder with the harsh way she had twisted his arm. She didn't wait around to find out, moving from one victim to the other, the act helping her avoid terminating them though the desire was growing, rising up like the sun, announcing viciously to AS09 internally that her cold night of not killing was over. A new day had finally come, giving her many opportunities. She was being given the option to continue the same way she had spent all of her days up until that point, killing, or she could behave the way Cap clearly wanted her to. She knew which option appealed to her most.

She slinkered towards the agent that she'd already put a bullet through, smiling the same way a starved predator would when finding an already weakened prey. He pulled a baton from his pants, pressing a button which caused an attachment to spring out, making the weapon become longer and light up from volts of electricity being emitted on the extra limb of the weapon. AS09's head fell to the left, curiosity twinkling like stars as her eyes scanned the weapon he was trying to threaten her with.

AS09 held out her hand and flicked two fingers up, using her telekinesis to pull out the weapon from the injured agents had, bringing it closer to her face so she could inspect it. She was very familiar with the weapon, it was what the agents would use against her when she was younger and weaker.

The assassin wasn't sure what made her angrier, the fact that the people attacking her worked for her father and still chose to harm her (they might have even been ordered), or the sight of that measly weapon once again being used as a threat against her. Either way, she decided to treat the agent the same way she had the agent that tried to cause her harm with that dull weapon the last time, when she was only eight years old.

She took it in her hand and planted it roughly inside the bullet wound on the agents leg. The agent twitched erratically and he screamed out loudly in anguish, it was AS09's favourite type of music.

When she closed her eyes she wasn't met with the darkness behind her eyelids but her grey bedroom instead, an agent was on the floor twitching and crying from the electricity she was forcing inside of his body through an open wound which she had also been the creator of by using her teeth. The memory was vivid and beloved, it was one of the first times she fought back and got vengeance for her tortures.

A hand grasped the younger version of herself that AS09 was revisiting, she turned her head and looked to see her father. He didn't look disappointed in her, he looked quite proud and after aging AS09 was finally able to figure out why. That was the first time she had broken and begun to obey her father's orders, the weird thing was that she hadn't tortured the man because her father had ordered her to, she'd done it because she was tired of being beaten and electrocuted.

There was a gentle tug on her wrist that felt real and it forced AS09's eyes to snap open. The image of her father's sadistic smile replaced by Steve's own somber expression, he didn't look pleased at what she was doing but he also didn't look angry which is what the monster had been expecting.

"Don't do it," he told her, his voice quiet but more soothing to her ears than threatening like her father's quiet voice would be. His grip on her hand loosened, giving her the opportunity to put the weapon back inside his wound. They were both aware of the fact that the human body could only endure so much and another dose of volts could possibly detrimental to the human. Steve was giving her a choice, and a chance.

She looked back down to the agent. He was sweating profusely, breathing heavily and his bladder had opened up from the pain. He was so open to death, such an easy and available target for AS09. _She should have been able to kill him, she was still the same weapon she was created to be._ And yet there was something that seemed to weigh on her heart, it felt small, like a splinter etched into the bottom of her heart. She'd never felt it before but it only seemed to become heavier the more she thought about killing the agent and disobeying Steve. It wasn't even about disobeying Steve, she began to realise, it was disappointing him.

"You said you'd give me a chance," she began, voice and expression empty, "and you said that a person can't break a promise once they make one." Her eyes rose to his and he was looking at her intensely, focusing on every word, "promise me…" her voice was forced to crack by a wave of nervousness that overcame her, she swallowed down the carnivorous emotion. "Promise me that you won't betray me again, won't trick me like you did with the syringe."

He nodded understandingly at her request not answering straight away and giving himself a moment to think over what he might be about to promise, AS09 didn't mind because she probably wouldn't have been able to believe him if he had answered instantly.

"I promise."

AS09 pressed a button on the electrified baton that cut off the electricity and made it fold back in on itself. She used the dull end to knock the agent out cold, throwing the weapon away to show to Cap she wasn't going to do anything more. "Right then, let's get out of here." She turned around to see the door had somehow been shut and the locking system next to it had been destroyed, sparks flying out of it, no doubt keeping the door locked for good. This was a great thing because it stopped any more agents from getting inside, but there was the problem of it also meaning that they were locked inside. She turned back to face Steve, hands positioned on her hips, "what did you do?"

He didn't respond, simply looking up at her through his eyelashes, casting an innocent look that had something bubbling at the bottom of her stomach, AS09 decided it was just hatred. She huffed, turned back to the door and flopped her hands down by her sides. "Well I hate to be that guy but what are we suppose to do now?"

Just as AS09 said that the sound of bullets clashing against glass echoed through the room, the brunette turned to see the black reflective wall across from the staircase (the view half covered by her glass prison which sat in the middle) shatter, lines reaching out from the middle until the wall broke apart, glass raining down and bullets flying through into the room. They would have pierced AS09 who had been distracted by the sight of the blue cloudy sky she'd been unable to look at for over a month but luckily Cap had made his way over towards her post-haste and pulled her down into a crouching position so they could huddle behind his shield. "I think I just found our way out," he yelled over the gunfire.

Outside of the shattered window hovered a quinjet that continued to fire warning shots into the room, only coming to a halt when a person inside the jet began to speak, their voice coming through a speaker so the soldier and the assassin could hear them. "Stand down and return the prisoner to SHIELD, I repeat, stand down and return the prisoner."

Neither AS09 nor Steve paid attention to what the pilot was saying, instead they were looking at each other sharing a silent conversation. He jerked his head slightly towards the quinjet and AS09 nodded her head in response. After making an unspoken agreement they both stood and charged towards he ship, Steve kept his shield raised so that they were both protected from the bullets the ship shot at them as soon as the pilot realised they were coming in for an attack. They both refused hesitation as they jumped out of the building, over fifty floors above cold and hard asphalt.

Steve threw his shield forward once they'd passed the quinjets line of fire, it curved much like a frisbee would but it pierced the wing of the quinjet and remained there as Steve and AS09 flew through the air, both landing atop the ship. Steve used the momentum of his jump to push himself forward and pull the shield from the wing, then throwing it once more to destroy the wings of the jet further, causing it to plummet to the ground. AS09 and Steve reconnected by grabbing each others hand, furthering the contact by holding each other closely as they jumped away from the ship.

White enveloped the both of them as AS09 created a forcefield to protect them as their frail human bodies plunged down to the ground. She was very wary though because though the forcefield might protect them from being made into a splash painting of bones and blood on the cement, AS09 knew they wouldn't be able to make the landing without breaking a few bones and that would have been detrimental to their getaway.

There wasn't much she knew about her powers, what she did know was basic telekinesis as that was all her father told her she was capable of, she'd learnt by herself how to create force fields. By using very little thought and quite a lot of hope she imagined a light force pushing at the base of the forcefield, slowing down their fall so the impact wouldn't be so harsh. Panicking thoughts invaded her mind though, the imagery of their mushed bodies mixed with asphalt protruding her brain.

She opened her eyes, looking to Steve who was portraying on his face the same panic she felt. His concern was somehow good motivation for her to place all her efforts back onto making them float.

During her second try she didn't shut her eyes, instead she looked into Steve's orbs and allowed the blue of his iris' to transport her into an ocean, that floating feeling one got when relaxing on top of a body of water coming to fruition in reality as their descent to the ground slowed. The eyes across from her widened in shock but she didn't let anything distract her until they finally landed. Once their feet finally made contact with the grey concrete she dropped the forcefield and her body fell slack.

Steve raised up one of his gloved hands up to her face, keeping the other supportively around her waist so she didn't collapse onto to the ground. He brushed his hand under her nose, wiping away a droplet of blood. "Thank you," he said the words sincerely, not entirely sure how much energy she'd exerted but extremely grateful that she had.

Her shoulders raised and fell lazily, for some reason AS09 didn't feel like he should be the one thanking her.

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 **A/N: NOW I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING! "What is this? An update two days before Sunday? Is it my birthday? Christmas? Is Rae simply that much of an awesome author that she's gifted us with an early update? ALL PRAISE RAE." And you'd be half right, today is a day of celebration because the new Avengers Infinity War trailer came out and I honestly sobbed after watching it. Like when Cap held hands with that one guy (i'm trying not to spoil here) and then also more of him with his beard and Peter and Peter, and fucking Peter and Dr Strange and just my god I have too many words and none of them are in the right order to describe how excited and incredibly terrified I am of this movie. But anyway, thought I might as well just give you another chapter because idk it might soothe the pain and pleasure given by the trailer? Idk. There will still be an update on Sunday, so yey for that.**

 **To Sam0728, glad you liked the last chapter. In answer to your question, yes. That's all I can say without getting spoilery. He helps her find out her real name, and he also chooses her name. That's not spoilery is it... I feel like that's not spoilery.**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, looks like you don't need to wait until Sunday after all! Though there will still be an upload on Sunday so I guess... keep looking forward to Sunday anyway...**

 **To Unajet, HELLO NEW PERSON! I absolutely loved reading your thoughts on AS09, she's certainly a complicated gal at first, very troubled. You're pretty much spot on with everything you said and you even gave me something to think about as I carry on writing though I won't tell you which part because then spoilers. I will tell you this though, she is might one day meet Bucky, she is might end up hating him even more than she already does and she might cause trouble for Steve because of her hatred.**

 **And a big thank you to everyone else that read!**


	8. Chapter Seven

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

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" _The best way to find out if you can trust someone is to trust them."_ _ **\- Ernest Hemingway**_

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AS09 had never had to run away before, even when running away from cops or vengeful people she always had the safety of her base to return to. After escaping SHIELD headquarters AS09 didn't have a base that she could return to, though she wasn't completely sure whether or not she had failed her mission - she was with Cap, she was still distracting him somewhat - she knew that she needed to see what the soldier was planning, at least by doing that she could convince herself that she was staying with him for her mission and not her own personal desires.

Of course she'd imagined running away quite a lot, especially when the tortures first started. Every night she'd plan her escape, where she'd go, ranging from rotting warehouses to exotic islands. The one place she never thought to go to was a hospital which was exactly where Steve took her to after a quick visit into a clothing shop so they could buy appropriate 'I'm an ordinary human being' clothing.

Steve put on a navy hoodie and sweatpants. AS09 finally got to trade out her black vest and skinny jeans that she'd spent far too long festering in, changing into a large navy hoodie that matched Steve's (neither the soldier nor the assassin seemed to notice) and some plain black leggings. She also had on a baseball cap but she put her hood up over it so all that was left visible was the black bill.

After purchasing the basic clothing Steve had dragged her all the way to a hospital. AS09 had never actually been within the walls of a hospital. The closest she'd gotten to a hospital before was when she killed a surgeon but she was in another building using a sniper rifle across the street from the hospital the surgeon was working in.

She knew enough about hospitals though and so she couldn't help but find it slightly ironic that someone like her (an ender of lives) was wandering the hallways of a place that built its morals around saving lives. She felt like she was actually intruding, like a demon from the darkest pit of hell wandering through heaven, infecting everything with her sin through a simple touch, as easy as it would be to spread a cold.

She kept herself behind Steve, head down watching every step he made, keeping herself busy with just following him so that her attention didn't stray to something that would make her feel uncomfortable. There was already a rumbling of distress in the pit of her belly that came from just being inside the hospital.

When he turned left, so did she. When he turned right, so did she. When he came to a halt she continued walking forward, almost causing her hat to topple off her head as she headbutted his back, though it felt more like she had walked into a brick wall.

Once she'd recovered she bent over so she could look around him and see why he had stopped. In front of him all that was placed before them was an ordinary vending machine, but the sight of its contents had AS09 jumping up and down, her hand reaching out and beginning to tug on the sleeve of Steve's hoodie.

"Are we getting food?" AS09 asked, a glee Steve had never seen before painting her voice.

It almost had a smile appearing on his face but the missing flash drive that he'd earlier placed inside the vending machine was putting quite the downer on his mood. "No," he said whilst sighing.

AS09's entire body seemed to deflate like a balloon that had the air steadily released from within, "well that sucks, I really wanted food."

He eyed her, thinking that maybe she was just playing another game but the disappointment was clear and very much real. "Do you really think I brought you here for food? Or, to not give you food?"

"If you did then you truly are more of a monster than I am." She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest, reminding Steve of a child who'd been told they couldn't have candy. He then realised that that's exactly what AS09 was, and a little part of his heart broke at that realisation. The other part found her immature disappointment amusing and it managed to lighten up his sour mood.

His chucle wasn't as bright as his laugh usually was but the sound of it was still enough to brighten up AS09's own mood. "I'm learning a lot about you already," he said lightheartedly, his statement actually flooring AS09.

As far as she was aware he had already learnt everything that there was to know about her. She killed and she had no problem with killing. She couldn't think of anything else there really was to her character. There was no proof she could find in the past to make her think otherwise, her father acted like all there was to her was killing, as did the rest of the agents. Her days were always spent training to kill, killing, eating the balanced diet provided by the agents and then sleeping. There was literally nothing else to her.

Steve looked back to the vending machine, trying to formulate a new plan in his head. The flash drive had been given to Steve the previous night by Nick Fury, obviously whatever was on it had been of great importance but now he had no way of finding out.

His attention was taken by the reflection of a very familiar redhead walking up behind the pair, AS09 didn't notice her until she popped her chewing gum. The assassin wasn't actually given any time to turn and inspect the new visitor before Steve turned, grabbed a hold of the redhead and forced her into a room on the opposite side of the hallway.

AS09 remained where she stood for a moment, turning her head left and right so she could make sure no passerby saw what the soldier had done. Once she was sure no one had witnessed anything, she slinked herself into the room and shut the door behind her, remaining by the doorway and repeatedly looking out the window whilst Steve had Natasha Romanoff pinned to a wall.

"Where is it?" He asked, his voice stoney; the tone of his voice had AS09 reminiscing about her first night in SHIELD's prison cell when he had been all business and no play. Nat's eyes moved behind Steve to the brunette, eyeing her carefully before looking back to the blonde, her wary expression making it clear she was wondering about the prisoner's presence but Steve seemed to have prioritised the flash drive which made sense from his point of view. "Do better." He ordered, demanding an answer to his question.

"Where did you get it?" Nat asked back. The distrust between the two was practically palpable and AS09 found it boring but she still stood at the back trying to analyse their relationship and figure out who the woman was to Steve.

"Why would I tell you?" Steve retorted.

"Fury gave it to you." Natasha guessed though Steve's expression remained unreadable. "Why?"

"What's on it?" Neither of them seemed to be answering the questions given to them and it was frustrating everyone in the room.

Natasha shrugged, "I don't know."

The irritation finally became clear on Steve's face as he pushed harshly against the wall he was trapping Nat against. "Stop lying," he hissed through clenched teeth. He wanted to trust Nat, he'd worked with her quite a few times and he'd started seeing her as a friend but his guard was built so high even he couldn't see the top of it after Nick said his last words to the soldier before passing. 'Don't trust anyone', the words were constantly repeating in the back of Steve's mind.

"I only act like I know everything, Rogers." Natasha's tone showed she was becoming offended, for her all she had to think about was the countless missions they'd been on together, she didn't have Fury in the back of her mind casting distrust on everything they thought they knew.

"I bet you knew Fury hired the pirates, didn't you?"

Natasha seemed a little shocked that he knew the information and for a moment she struggled to find the right words to respond with. "Well, it makes sense. The ship was dirty, Fury needed a way in, so do you-"

Steve's hands gripped Nats shoulders harshly and he seemed to raise her slightly off the ground as he leaned in and whisper-yelled at her, "I'm not going to ask you again."

After noticing Steve getting more irritable and more violent AS09 stepped away from the door and closer to the two agents, feeling wary but ready to jump in when she felt it was required.

"I know who killed Fury," Natasha revealed, completely undeterred by Cap's actions. Though his movement had been gentler than mosts would have been, it was still out of character for the soldier and it had managed to put both Nat and AS09 on edge. Steve didn't give any initial response, giving Nat the room to explain. "Most of the intelligence community doesn't believe he exists, the ones who do call him the Winter Soldier. He's credited with over two dozen assassinations in the last fifty years."

"So he's a ghost story."

"No," AS09 finally spoke up, though her words were practically whispered. Both Steve and Nat looked up towards the brunette, her body had become rigid and her eyes were cast downward to the floor. Steve also noticed the way she'd turned her hands into tight fists that turned the usually olive skin on her knuckles into a pale white. "He's like me." She couldn't use many words, it felt like led had coated her tongue, making her mouth all of a sudden dry and unusable.

"You've met him?" Steve asked, trying not to push her too much on the topic as it was clearly an open nerve for her.

Her eyes flew up to his as she nodded her head, "I've done more than just meet him. I've trained with him, gone on missions with him."

"So you're like partners?" Natasha asked.

AS09's eyebrow twitched as she tried to reign in the carnivorous emotion of hatred that swelled up inside, "no. He's more like my executioner and that's all I'm willing to say on the matter."

The two SHIELD agents took in the new information and Natasha took the momentary silence to ask Steve the question she'd had ever since she noticed AS09. "How come she's with you?"

Steve turned back to face Natasha, "the agents at SHIELD tried to capture me and I heard on one of their radios that they were sending other agents down to get her." He twisted his head so he could see her once more, "she's twisted up in all of this somehow." It was hard for Steve to gather much from the assassin's expression but as far as he was aware she had no idea why the agents had gone for her.

"Did you read the update on her folder?" Nat asked Steve, not at all prepared for the alarmed look Steve gave her and the curious look she got from AS09.

"What updates?" AS09 asked, directing her question to Steve. She knew that whatever the updates were it would have something to do with the blood sample Steve got from her, what she didn't know but was desperate to find out was what the blood sample must have unveiled. Steve didn't give her an answer, he actually looked quite lost, clearly not having expected to have this conversation all of a sudden. "Does it have a name in it?"

"Yes it does." Natasha was the one that answered, realising she had obviously thrown Steve into a metaphorical cage with the bloodlusting assassin and so rather than leave him to suffer she decided to take on the fight herself. "But we won't give you the folder until all of this is over, if you continue helping us that is."

AS09 looked from the redhead to the soldier, feeling a very strong distaste for the other agent begin to blossom within her, sitting right beside her hatred for the Winter Soldier. The assassin looked at Steve, pushing him with her eyes to decide whether he was going to agree with Natasha's decision because he was the only one she was going to listen to.

Steve could see why she was frustrated, they'd just started to trust each other and form a very weird and unusual relationship; to suddenly throw a bargaining chip between them could potentially snap the string they'd begun to weave between them. But on the other hand, AS09 was the enemy and for the most part a complete mystery to him. Nat was thinking like a spy, like someone who wasn't emotionally compromised.

In the end Steve could only sigh, still feeling unsure. "I promised you that I won't betray you, you can trust that I'll keep it. But what about you, can you promise me the same?"

That's what it all came down to: Trust. But she was the enemy and AS09 knew as soon as he finished asking the question what the answer simply had to be. "No," she murmured, worried that the answer would have disappointed Steve but he didn't seem affected by it. She didn't know if it was a good or bad thing that he understood a big part of her was tethered to her father, her master. She would have loved to promise that she wouldn't betray him, but she knew in the end it wouldn't be her choice. She was just a weapon, made to be used.

The agreement was silently made between the three. If she stayed and helped them then they would give her the folder which held within it her true identity. "Fine, the Winter Soldier, there's no use going after him."

"I agree," Nat added, "I know he's a dead end because I've tried myself to find him." She raised up her hand and revealed a flash drive stick, AS09 assumed that the little device was what the past ten minutes had been about.

Steve looked from the device, to Nat, to AS09 and then back to the flash drive. He took it from her hand and placed it inside the pocket of his navy hoodie, keeping his hand in the pocket so he could continue to protect it. "Well, let's find out what the ghost wants."

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 **A/N: Hello once again. As promised, your sunday upload! I just finished writing a chapter last night and it's so weird going from there to this chapter, so much in AS09 has changed and just... wow. It's nice to see the progress.**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, thanks for the comment! Hope you enjoyed this chapter ^^**

 **To Unajet, maybe, maybe not. This is actually something that occurs in the chapter I just wrote but I don't want to spoil. I feel like if at this point she was to reveal everything about Hydra (ranging from the fact Hydra is still alive and well, and about Pierce being her father) then Steve would be pissed. But not at her. He's able to separate Bruce Banner from the Hulk, right? Well AS09 is basically the Hulk and he believes there's a metaphorical Bruce Banner somewhere in her.**

 **To Sam0728, OH MY GOD! I can't believe you just said I write good fight scenes, thank you so much but at the same time I struggle to believe you. They're literally my kyrptonite. But again thank you, when I read your compliment I got hella excited and happy.**


	9. Chapter Eight

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

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" _This thing about you that you think is your flaw - it's the reason I'm falling in love with you."_ _ **\- Colleen Hoover**_

* * *

The next location that the group went to was another surprise for AS09. Together with Steve and Natasha they ventured to a stereotypical American mall that was bustling with many people, all loud and walking at a slow pace which had AS09 chewing her nails, it was the only way she could keep herself from yelling at them all because the one time she almost managed to Steve clapped his hand over her mouth and scalded her under his breath.

The trio stopped outside of the mall, moving to one side so they weren't stood in the way of all the people entering and exiting the mall. They huddled close together without looking too suspicious. It began to make more sense why Steve and Nat had chosen to come to the mall, it supplied the perfect mix of hiding in plain sight whilst also keeping them completely camouflaged by the hundreds of people.

"Okay so the plan is that me and you will go into a computer store and take a look at what's on this flash drive." Nat explained mostly to the soldier. She had been doing that a lot, acting like AS09 wasn't actually with them and only communicating with Steve.

Obviously it had been frustrating her quite a bit but for the most part she'd been trying to keep her annoyance internal except for a couple of snide remarks that had unintentionally slipped out. For the most part though she tried to keep her distaste hidden, mostly for Steve because she could see he was already distressed and didn't feel like anyone would gain anything if she irritated him more. Plus, every time a bitter remark did slip through her filter he would send her a 'don't start' look, it didn't exactly have her shaking in her boots but it was enough to make her tighten her lips.

"What about me?" She asked, trying to keep her tone casual as she reminded the redhead that she was indeed actually with them.

Nat placed her hands in her pocket as she looked to AS09, not bothering to rid the caution off of her facial features. She didn't like that the prisoner was with them and she definitely did not share the same faith her partner was portraying for the monster. "You can stay out here and keep watch for us."

AS09's eyes turned to slits as she eyed up the spy, coining into what she was doing straight away. Nat's face remained emotionless, acting seemingless, meanwhile Steve looked between the two feeling unsure about what he should do with the rising tension.

After a moment the monsters glare disappeared and her usual playful smirk made its comeback. "Fine," her voice was excruciatingly fruity as she spoke to the redhead, "you guys go ahead and leave the bloodlusting monster alone surrounded by extremely vulnerable pedestrians. I'm sure absolutely nothing could go wrong." The smirk grew into a fake toothy grin, the edges of her lips sharp like knives, her overly positive demeanor very clearly not matching with the agents feelings as both released exasperated sighs.

"Well if you kill anyone you won't be getting your file," Natasha threatened and it took a lot from AS09 to not laugh at the spies attempt to control her. There was only one man that controlled her and even he struggled with doing so.

She kept her dramatically wide smile on her face as she responded, "because not knowing anything about myself clearly stopped me from killing people before."

By this point Steve felt he had no choice but to intervene, he reached out with his right hand and grabbed onto AS09's left, reining her in with the skin to skin contact. "Do you think you'll be able to crack into the drive?"

"This isn't a good idea." Nat warned, able to predict what he'd been thinking.

AS09 had done plenty of missions before which required her to hack a computer or two, she looked at the flash drive and presumed that it wouldn't be that much hassle to get into and so she nodded her head confidently. "Just show me where I can find a computer, I'm not just good with knives and guns you know."

The soldier looked to his partner with a guilty expression, telling her with just his face that he'd decided to take AS09 with him and leave her out on watch duty. "I'm sorry."

"I really don't think this is a good idea," she relented with a displeased statement. Whilst she did trust her partner and his decisions, that didn't mean she had to like them.

Steve looked like a lost puppy, "you two aren't giving me many options."

"Fine," she eventually relinquished, accepting the grateful nod Steve gave her. The redhead reached into her pocket and took out three very small limpid objects, handing Steve one and putting another in her ear. "Keep these in your ears so we can communicate."

AS09 reached out and grabbed the last remaining one on Natasha's open palm. As she placed it in her ear she found that it felt foreign and uncomfortable when placed in there; normally on missions she wasn't given anything like the earpiece, just a simple burner phone or handheld transceiver. The earpiece felt too intrusive and if she did have someone speaking into her ear it would probably force her out of the trance she'd manage to put herself in when killing.

Steve and Natasha both tested the devices out, confirming AS09's assumptions that it wasn't exactly a great feeling having someone talk right into your ear. Once the agents were done testing out their equipment Steve once again took a hold of AS09's hand and dragged her into the mall before Nat and AS09 could share any more passing words.

Once they were inside the mall Steve made sure to face AS09 even though he was actually speaking to Natasha, "right, where are we heading?"

"There will be an escalator a few yards in front of you, go up to the second floor and there will be a map at the top, you need to locate the Apple Store." Nat's voice echoed right into her ear and AS09 had to maintain her serious facial expression in order to not grimace, she already wasn't fond of the agents presence on the mission and she certainly wasn't pleased to have the redhead in her ear, like some sort of loud fly in a small room. Though the fly couldn't be seen, it was still there, annoyingly buzzing away.

Steve continued directing the assassin through the mall by her hand. AS09 was actually grateful to have the skin to skin connection, she was surrounded by a phenomenal amount of people; more than she'd ever been near and within herself insecurities stirred like building waves. She needed to keep the soldier with her in order to cease the oncoming storm within. Maybe it was the calm waters she was able to imagine whenever she looked into his eyes that kept her so peaceful in his presence, maybe it was just him.

They managed to make it to the escalator and as they rode up both the soldier and assassin tried to casually search around and make sure there was no one suspicious. After their quick look around both turned back to face each other, "you need to be more civil with the other agent."

"What?" AS09 hadn't expected him to bring up something like that just then and there, especially not when Natasha was still on comms.

"Stop picking arguments with her, I'm not saying you need to get along or anything like that. I suppose what I'm saying is that you need to remember we're all on the same mission." Steve spoke with authority and a clearness that showed he'd put a lot of thought into his statement.

AS09 couldn't help but admire his peacekeeping ways, but at the same time she also couldn't help but feel like he was a tad biased. "I'm sorry, but she's not exactly been welcoming to me either."

He frowned, taking in her words and sparing a few seconds to think of an appropriate reply. "I know that," he eventually agreed which had AS09's level of anger decreasing, that is, until he carried on speaking. "But for an agent you are first and foremost an enemy, you were put in that prison for a reason. She's just being cautious."

What hurt more was Steve being the one to say those words to her, it brought up roaring insecurities in her mind that Steve might see her as first and foremost an enemy as well. It was made even more infuriating by the fact that she'd become so confused as to what Steve was to her.

With a sigh she slipped her hand out of his and stepped around him, off the escalator and towards the map that was placed on a stand in the middle of the walking space. Steve eventually came to stand beside her, just as silent as she was. AS09 pointed out the location with her finger and turned to walk in the necessary direction but she stopped herself when a particular thought refused to remain contained. She turned back to face Steve and sucked in a breath, "you said you'd give me a chance but so far it hasn't felt like that. It's hard for me to prove that I'm on your side when certain people are acting like I've betrayed you already." _I haven't killed anyone, what more do you want from me?_ She didn't add the last part of her thought, knowing it wasn't as big a deal to anyone else but her. "I left with you Steve, that means I trust you even though I probably shouldn't. I know it might not seem like it but I am trying here."

Steve didn't have an instant reaction to her words, she knew he'd rather think over what words he should say to her but she didn't want a reaction. She wanted to get the mission over and done with. AS09 just wanted to be able to figure out what was happening with her, because as much as she managed to convince herself that she was still working for her father there was a very convincing part of her that told her she was now working with the soldier, the man who'd given her a chance.

The assassin walked off and Steve followed, both of them easily found the Apple store and AS09 was quick to locate a free laptop where she could get her work done. Both of them stood close together, Steve watching in silence as she turned on the laptop and started pressing keys. "I'm about to put the drive in," she said, both to Natasha and Steve.

"Okay, that drive is going to let SHIELD know where you are as soon as you boot it up, so be quick." Natasha ordered through the ear piece.

AS09 rolled her eyes at the redhead giving her orders again, "yes ma'am." She sent Steve a pointed look to say 'look how polite I'm being, isn't it just swell', to which Steve rolled his own eyes but the small smile that appeared on his face showed he found her mannerism amusing. And just like that, the small disagreement from earlier had been forgotten.

The soldier handed over the flash drive to AS09 and she readied herself to plug it in with haste, already feeling slightly rushed even though the countdown hadn't even begun.

"How much time do we have?" Cap asked, making sure to keep his voice low.

"I'm guessing this is going to have a level six homing program on it?" AS09 asked Nat who made a humming sound to confirm her thoughts. She blew out a puff of air, that desire to get things done quickly only rising now that she had the new information. "Well then, we have nine minutes starting…" She pushed in the flash drive and as she did part of it lit up, "now."

Steve continued to move around, making AS09 want to make a comment about how his nervousness was showing but she chose to concentrate on the screen and all the windows that were popping up. The soldier decided to make this a little bit harder for her by leaning over her body, his chest touching her back. It reminded her of the hug he'd given her and the warmth she felt within. She noted how the more she concentrated on the soldier's looming present behind her, the more her heart seemed to speed up. She swallowed down the rising butterflies that had been stirred awake by his presence, getting slightly irritated at the fact that he was distracting her so effortlessly. Thankfully she managed to keep her face devoid of all emotion, though she could do nothing to stop the rising colour of peach from spreading over her cheeks

"Well whatever's on here it wants to stay hidden," she commented as she continued pressing keys, Steve had moved on from watching her doing 'computery stuff' because he didn't really understand it, instead he went on lookout duty, making sure no one was watching what they were doing.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

She began to chew on her lip, trying out another method she hoped would work but having it foiled by whatever program was placed on the flash drive. AS09 huffed immaturely, "it seems to be protected by some sort of AI that keeps rewriting itself to go against my commands. How rude."

Her explanation wasn't made too complicated so Steve was actually able to understand what she was saying, he knew if he'd had someone like Tony Stark explain it to him then he'd probably have just become more lost. "Can you rewrite it?"

AS09 turned to him and shrugged her shoulders, "I'm afraid the person who developed this is slightly smarter than me. Only slightly though."

Through the comms the pair heard Nat release a noise of frustration, the redhead instantly putting the blame on the monster for their failure. "I could probably have done it if you didn't bench me," Natasha mumbled, not really thinking through her words as she searched her mind for what they could do next but it wasn't exactly easy when she didn't have the technology in front of her.

Cap gave AS09 a warning look, knowing her brain was sorting through many unpolite responses. She sent back a 'in your dreams' kind of look, of course she was going to defend herself. The more rude comments the redhead made, the more the brunette's control seemed to slip.

"He chose the prettier one, it's understandable." In order to appease Cap somewhat she went with the nicest comeback her brain was able to conjure up, her words didn't stab Natasha right in heart but they would have certainly left a pretty little cut on her skin, that would be enough to appease her bloodlust.

"Come say that to my face."

"I'm a bit busy."

"Stop wasting time," Steve intervened, reminding AS09 of their very limited time. "What can we do?"

The assassin turned back to the laptop, beginning to type away as she told Steve the new plan she'd formulated. "Well, if we can't read the file we can at least try and find out where it came from."

"So you're going to track it?"

She raised up one hand and clicked her finger, "bingo." After typing for a few more moments a new window opened up on the screen, showing a map of earth that began to zoom in on a location slowly but surely.

That's when a stranger decided to walk up to them, dressed in an obnoxious blue the man had a giant beard and long flowing locks. "Can I help you guys with anything?" The stranger asked, a welcoming smile on his face, not at all bewildered by the surprised and slightly panicked look on both Steve and AS09's face.

AS09 stuttered for a moment, struggling to come up with a response. She'd never had to go undercover before and clearly neither had Steve as he seemed to be struggling for a response too, luckily Nat spoke into their ears some directions. "Pretend he's your fiance and that you're looking for honeymoon destinations," she spoke quickly, as though the plan was an obvious trick both should have been able to figure out. "Put your hand on his shoulder to make it look convincing."

For once AS09 did what Nat had asked without any backchat, delicately placing her hand on Steve's shoulder, only receiving an unsure look from the soldier as he waited for her to speak the words Nat had told her to say. "Um, no thank you, me and my… floncy…" She said the foreign word unsurely, "are just looking up some honeymoon destinations." Half the words she said were completely new to her and didn't make a lot of sense, it was hard convincing herself she'd done the right thing, more so when the man before the pair raised an eyebrow at her words.

"That's right," Cap intervened, stepping in front of AS09 and providing her some relief so she could turn back to the laptop and continue with what she'd previously been doing. "Me and my _fiance_ ," he corrected her earlier mistake, making the assassin blush slightly at the realisation she'd said the wrong word, "we're getting married."

The stranger and Steve continue to converse while AS09 chose to remain silent for the rest of the exchange, worried that she might end up messing up again in some way that could be detrimental to their cover. After a couple more exchanges of words the man took a step back, introducing himself and showing them his worker badge before he walked away. Steve politely smiled, impressed by his own ability to play pretend that obviously exceeded the assassins.

"Guys, they're in the building." Nat suddenly said, her voice hushed but still urgent.

Steve returned to the side of AS09, bringing with him a scent that was becoming all too familiar. He smelt clean, like a simple bar of soap but there was something else there that was very appealing to AS09's senses. "Come on," Steve rushed, bringing her out of the slight trance his presence had put her in, "you said nine minutes."

"Shush," she hushed, "relax, _fiance_." AS09 gave him a smile and thankfully he returned it, though his eyes still shrieked of urgency the small smile stretching his lips for AS09 showed she'd eased him somewhat, making her feel a swell of pride.

More seconds ticked by but it only takes a few for AS09 to finish tracking down the location, "got it," she sang with pride, mostly to Natasha. The location and address appeared on screen and Steve leaned in closer. The smile he once had seemed to have been wiped clean off and replaced with a frown, his eyebrows scrunching together. "You know it?"

"I use to," he muttered, attention mostly given to the location and whatever memories it was bringing up. AS09 looked at the address again, hoping she'd know something about it but nothing popped into mind as she read over the words 'Wheaton, New Jersey'.

They left in a rush, Cap pulled the flash drive from the laptop and AS09 quickly wiped any sign of what they'd been up to from the laptop. They slowed down their steps once they were outside of the shop, determinedly making their way over to the escalator. "Where are the agents?" He asked.

"It looks like they're aiming to do a standard tag team," Natasha reported back, "two behind and two across."

"Two coming straight at us." Cap informed, making AS09's eyes widen as she began her search through the crowd to spot what agents he was talking about. It was two burly looking men that seemed to stand above the rest of the passerby's, both were dressed in casual clothes but they're searching eyes and stoney expressions gave them away instantly. Steve tugged gently on AS09's arm in order to gain her attention and then he began to whisper orders, "if they make us I'll engage, you take the south escalator of the metro."

"No," was her quick response, "you should make a run for it. No offence but fighting is what I do best."

"Yeah but we all know how your fights normally end, in fact, you're banned from fighting anyone until further notice."

AS09 was almost brought to a halt at his words, the very idea hitting her right in the heart. Along with a surprising amount of fear. She was made to fight and kill, that was her only purpose in life and now the man she'd entrusted with pretty much her life was taking that away from her. If it wasn't for Nat's voice intervening than the assassin might have instinctively done something she'd have regretted to the soldier. "Now who's wasting time?" The redhead scoffed into their ears, the cockiness mixed with calm provoking AS09 to take out her unruly behaviour on the spy instead. "Look, just wrap your arm around her and pretend to laugh at something she said."

Cap instantly followed her advice, putting his arm around her shoulders and bringing her in closer, automatically her hand went up and pressed against his chest. He was warm and solid beneath her fingers. Together they forced out fake laughter as they passed by the two agents, Cap was the one to check if they'd made it past them unnoticed and then once they were further away he removed his arm and the two seperated.

It was probably a good thing that he was the one to let her go, AS09 doubted she would have. Steve had introduced her to things like cuddling and holding hands, the intimate touches were very foreign to her but they felt incredibly nice. She actually wondered if every other human knew about such things and how comforting they felt.

They made it to the desired escalator and began to go down it, she thought they'd managed to make the rest of the journey in silence (AS09 had once again been put in a position where if she spoke she'd say something no one would like) but of course Steve decided words were the way to move past her obvious foul behaviour. She tried her best to make it obvious anyway, she had a deep set frown on her face, her arms were crossed defensively across her chest and she made sure to stand facing away from him. It was the best AS09 could come up with to show her emotions without killing.

"I thought you'd be better at being undercover," he said, trying to make a joke and ease the tension, he'd been too distracted by the surrounding enemies to notice AS09 had been struck by his earlier words.

Without turning to face him she responded, "I'm the one they send out to make a scene normally." AS09 stressed her words at him, trying to make her point very clear. She was a weapon, the only thing she could provide for them was fighting and killing their enemies, if she wasn't allowed to do that then she was pretty much useless and that's the last thing she ever wanted to be. Steve was about to respond but she all of a sudden turned to face him, a look of her alarm on her face that was enough to tell him she'd spotted another agent. "One of them is coming up the escalator, what do we do?"

Steve didn't seem to have an answer straight away and so Natasha intervened once again, "kiss each other."

"What?" Both the assassin and the soldier spoke at each other, Steve now mirroring AS09's look of alarm.

"Public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable."

"Yes, they do." Steve agreed, making no move to do the kiss.

Meanwhile AS09 was trying to search her mind and remember what a kiss actually was. She'd never kissed someone or been kissed, but she could recall witnessing two kisses. One time she accidentally walked on two agents kissing on a stairwell at her base, the second time was before she killed two people, they chose to kiss each other as she shot them both in the heads. In her mind she analysed what she saw, it seemed all they did was put their lips together.

Without putting too much thought into it (because if she did she'd invent a new shade of red with her skin) she grabbed a hold of Steve's head and pulled it towards hers, puckering out her lips and connecting them with his.

The action seemed very simplistic to AS09 and she couldn't exactly see why kissing was really a thing, she much preferred hugging Cap. She recalled Nat saying that public displays of affection make people uncomfortable and wondered if she also took into account how awkward doing the act could be? It didn't really feel like anything until Steve took over for her, clearly noticing by her motionless contact that she had no idea what she was doing.

He placed one of his own hands on the side of her head, keeping her face covered so the agent wouldn't be able to identify her. He brushed his lips against hers gently before becoming firmer with their kiss. It felt nice, AS09 noted. It was slow and soft, comforting in ways that words would never be and hugs should aim to become. Using the hand that was resting just below her ear, his thumb caressed her cheek as their breaths mingled together. The thoughts going through her mind weren't even about the kiss anymore, they were about how warm his breath was, how soft his lips were, how nice he smelt.

Once again Cap was the only one with the resolve to pull away, AS09's eyes opened after feeling the lack of contact. She couldn't even remember closing her eyes.

"You feeling uncomfortable?" Natasha asked, taking their silence as proof that they'd kissed.

Steve cleared his throat, still looking to the assassin to try and gouge her reaction. She remained silent, her eyes flickering around them, moving from anywhere to everywhere just so she could avoid looking at Steve. "Not exactly the word I would use," he said but AS09 could barely pay attention to the things he was saying, overthrown completely by how such an awkward kiss could turn into something so miraculous just by slight movements.

* * *

 **A/N: Hello again! Another Sunday, another update. I feel like I've started an author's note off like that before but I'm too lazy to check, I'll keep it short because I don't really have anything to announce here. BUT OH MY GOD, THEY KISSED! AS09 IS SO AWKWARD. I'd say lets start making the ship names but until you guys know her actual name you can't really but Steve and AS09 together, unless you did like Steve09 or something but then when her name comes out it'll just change again so... but if anyone can think of a good ship name along the way make sure to announce it via the comments section and I shall make one official.**

 **To Sam0728, you're missing out one thing that happens between the mall and Sam but other than that you're spot on! I've got exciting stuff happening, I mean I was bawling my eyes out a moment ago when I finished chapter thirteen. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and it's contents, this was one of my favourites in part one!**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, hope you enjoyed this one too!**

 **To Unajet, one thing I'm trying my hardest to include in this story is that AS09 isn't a liar, she's never had to lie her entire life, never really saw the point in it. But that doesn't mean she withholds things, she's keeping a lot hidden from Steve right now, like the fact that Pierce is her father, because she's still apprehensive about him and how he'll react. I've mentioned before that her father would always show her a bit of kindness here and there when she did what he wanted her to do, then he'd go back to being a prick though. AS09 is all up for this kindness Steve is showing her but deep down she's just waiting for him to turn into a prick just like her father because _that's all she knows_. She's in the process of learning that Steve is actually a good guy. Which brings up the fact that right now she's amoral which is something EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW about her, I feel like that's a very important fact. AND I'VE GONE ON LOADS, I JUST ENJOY DISCUSSING MY CHARACTER OKAY SHE'S VERY INTERESTING. (Thanks for reading the story as well as my jabberings)**

 **And a big thank you to every else that has read Hiraeth so far!**


	10. Chapter Nine

**CHAPTER NINE**

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" _Whether I had made up my mind or not my heart had chosen you anyway."_ _ **\- Gemma Troy**_

* * *

AS09 had recognised the Hydra agent who had passed them on the escalators, maybe not by name but she'd seen him a fair few times by her father's side whenever he'd come visit her base. All it would have taken was for a simple wave of the hand and she could have captured the soldier and returned to her old life. And yet whilst in the moment that thought didn't even cross her mind, it wasn't until she was silently sat in the back of a car Steve had swiped at the mall that she realised her mistake.

Something stirred in her when she thought about the mistake, something that reared its head and released a long hiss whenever she labelled the event as a mistake. That 'Something' had become quite the burden ever since she started interacting with Steve but AS09 had never attempted to label that something until she was trapped inside the vehicle with nothing to look at but the blurry side of the road passing them by as the trio travelled to Wheaton, NJ.

The Something had started acting up after that first conversation with Steve so obviously it had something to do with him, so she started her thinking process by focusing on all the recurring thoughts she had about Steve.

AS09 didn't hate Steve, which was saying something because she didn't really have any particular interest in people other than when it came to killing them. But she didn't want to kill Steve, she actually wanted to spend more time with him and talk to him more and simply spend more hours in his presence.

She didn't just like Steve though, no, she liked the way he made her feel. She liked the way he treated her, like an equal (except that one occasion when they arrived in the mall, a memory that still caused pain for the Something within her). She even liked the way he looked at her, like she was more. He'd introduced all these new things to her, from the hugs to the idea that she could change, and all of them were kind. All her father had ever introduced to her was malice and cruelty.

After coming to the conclusion of the way she felt about Steve, she thought over when the Something previously reared its head. It was always whenever she doubted Steve, or tried to lie about his motives and paint him as being just like her father, a liar. There had been occasions when the Something had desperately pleaded to Steve for something, to save her, maybe. It was difficult for AS09 to really see herself as being someone that needed saving, and that's what led to her next train of thought.

It was more of a theory, one AS09 couldn't bring herself to become resolute on. But the theory went as such: maybe the Something wasn't that bad, maybe it was her and her constant attempts to keep that Something chained up in a corner that was bad. Maybe, the Something was the part of her that could wholly accept the chance Steve offered, it was the part of her that would jump with resolve into the light but AS09's dominating side was all darkness and death, it consumed all light. She had to wonder, momentarily, if that Something was the part of her she'd been forced to keep away because of all the things her Father forced upon her. And if perhaps it had taken Steve showing her what pure kindness was to wake that Something out of the slumber it was forced into many years ago.

She was brought out of her mind by the slamming sound of a door, when she looked up she found herself staring into the familiar blue eyes of Steve who had turned to face her in his driving seat. AS09 hadn't even realised that they'd stopped, and apparently Steve had even left the car at some point as in his hand he held out a plastic bag towards her. "Here," he said, "I promised you food."

Her heart swelled, not even at the food, it was more towards Steve. A suffocating feeling rose in the back of her throat, trying to push a sob out as her eyes suddenly became wet. AS09 looked at Steve in that moment and felt the entirety of herself hope that with the assistant of his light - his personality, his smile, his hair that was always too darn neat for her liking, his overwhelming desire to give her a chance, _every single part of him_ \- she'd be able to bring back the girl that had been forced into deep dark pits of hell by the man she called Father.

Steve's expressions changed as she continued to stare at him, his eyebrows scrunched together and the side of his lip bent down a little. "Are you okay?" The concern that laced his voice didn't help her with the inner battle she was currently having over the sudden need to cry, she couldn't remember ever hearing such concern from the people she'd been surrounded by when she was younger. Even when she was brought out of the pit, or had just been beaten black and blue. It made her so… happy, AS09 wasn't completely sure that it was the right word because she'd only ever heard it be used before and didn't fully know the definition.

A choking sound erupted from her throat but she managed to disguise it as clearing her throat. "Yes," she choked out, doing another cough in order to wipe the wavering tones from her voice, "I'm just not good in small spaces." Her words weren't exactly a lie which is why she was able to speak them easily. The second she saw the tiny vehicle anxiety rose up within her with the might of an erupting volcano, but it had settled down once she found herself sat at the back able to see Steve driving. He seemed relaxed and it somehow reflected into her.

"Ah," he responded, "well we'll be on the road for another hour or so but I'll try my best to distract you." AS09 smiled gratefully at his attempt at comforting her, continuing to watch as he began searching through the plastic bag. He first took out a sandwich and handed it over to her, then a drink of water and finally a packet of something she wasn't quite sure. "You look like you're the kind to have a sweet tooth so I got you these, they're fruit flavoured. If you don't like them you can just leave them."

Not fully understanding the proposed order food was meant to be eaten in, she opened up the candy first and nippled on the first one she grabbed. It had a hard shell around it but on the inside a flavour burst into her mouth and it was absolutely _delightful_. "This is great, thank you!"

In the front seat, Natasha rolled her eyes, watching the assassins actions through the rearview mirror. What made her roll her eyes a second time was the way Steve had a proud smile on his face when he turned back to face the front window, setting the car to drive and beginning to move forward.

AS09 wasted no time before gorging on the food and drink Steve had provided her, trying to stuff as much food into her mouth as she could whilst maintaining the ability to be able to chew. Half the time she looked like a hamster, which meant whenever Steve looked in the mirror to check on her he had to cage up his laughter.

"So where did Captain America learn how to steal a car?" Natasha asked, turning her head slightly so she could face Steve whilst still sat facing the window with her feet comfortably perched up on the dashboard.

"Nazi Germany," he answered, letting Natasha know that it wasn't a skill he prided himself on but it was a skill that was necessary. "And we're borrowing, so take your feet off the dash."

The assassin moved into the middle of the backseats so she could lean forward a little and feel a little bit more included, she swallowed down the last remains of the cheese sandwich Steve had provided her with so she could speak properly, "can you teach me how to steal a car, that could be a useful skill?"

Natasha let out a chuckle whilst Steve's eyebrows rose, "no, no I will not."

A petulant pout grew on her face as she leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms across her chest in quick defeat. "I'll figure it out on my own then," she said the words almost as though they were a challenge to the soldier but all he did was shake his head.

"I have another question," Nat spoke up, once again only speaking to Steve and ignoring AS09 but the assassin had become used to it by that point. "Was that your first kiss since 1945?" Steve didn't give her an answer at first, he sent her a look that was a mix of slightly alarmed eyebrow raises and a disbelieving shake of the head. "What?" The redhead said defensively in response to the look she'd been given, "I just wondered how much practice you've had."

"You don't need practice."

"Everybody needs practice."

"It was not my first kiss since 1945. I'm ninety-five, I'm not dead."

"It was my first kiss," AS09 decided to add her own input into the conversation, the two clearly seemed to be being amused by the topic and she wanted to try and join in on that. She gave the confession with a lot more ease than what Steve had shown since Natasha had asked him that question.

Steve blushed. His entire face grew hot, a rosiness blossoming on his white skin. Sure, he'd had his suspicions. When she'd kissed him it didn't really feel like a kiss at all which is why he'd forced himself to take over, so that they could make the kiss into something actually convincing that would force the SHIELD agent to look away. It was the kind of bad kiss only people who'd never kissed before were able to conjure up, and he'd know because he spent a lot of his youth never kissing anyone. The only difference was that AS09 hadn't only been a bad kisser, it was almost like she had absolutely no idea what a kiss was meant to be like.

Natasha's face on the other hand brightened up intensely, a toothy smile growing so wide her eyes were forced into happy slits. "Really?" She beamed, enjoying the way Steve so profoundly blushed. "How sweet Steve, you were her first kiss!"

"Steve?" AS09's voice had turned down a few octaves, almost as though she feared saying the word. Not because it was blasphemous or a curse, but because the word to her was like a forbidden fruit she'd only ever been told about but never actually seen. "Is… Is that your name?"

For a moment Natasha looked worried that she'd blown something big by making a very rookie mistake, but Steve didn't look angry, he actually seemed a little pleased.

"Yes," he finally responded, only able to give her a quick look accompanied by a supporting smile before turning back to concentrate on the road. "And this is Natasha." The redhead opened her mouth to argue that he shouldn't have told the assassin her name, but realised the second she opened her mouth that technically it was only fair because she'd given away his identity first.

AS09 didn't much care for the redheads name, she was still surprised at having the knowledge of the soldiers name. Steve. Steve. Steve. The word kept repeating over in her mind, she wanted to memorise it and never forget it. Steve.

"Hello, Steve." She greeted, trying out the name once more. That time she said it much louder, more confidentently, enjoying the way his name slipped off her tongue.

He grinned, "hello."

"So, you really don't have a name?" Natasha asked, able to actually turn and face AS09 fully unlike Steve. It surprised her a little that she'd actually decided to pay attention to the assassin's existence for once.

"No, she doesn't." Steve answered for her, obviously wanting to show AS09 that he trusted her and fully believed what she'd been telling him which caused that Something to lift her head and shine within AS09 again.

"The people you work for never gave you a codename?"

"Well, I guess they kind of did," she moved around in her seat, suddenly not knowing where to place her hands and eventually just crossing them over her chest again, "my father would sometimes call me Experiment AS09."

"Your father?" Steve questioned, looking at her in the rearview mirror, she nodded to confirm.

Steve and Natasha then looked at each other, both knowing something AS09 didn't. It had been a surprise to hear her talk about her father, because from the data they were able to look at on her folder, her father was long dead. The partners had another private conversation between themselves, agreeing with the decision to not disclose that information with AS09.

"Well we're definitely not going to call you that, you're not their experiment anymore. You're your own person. So let's think up a nickname or something until we can get you your file," Steve was very tenacious with his words, once again making AS09 feel like maybe she did actually have the potentiality to be more than just a weapon.

"Okay," she didn't mind having a nickname in place until she could get her proper name, they never bothered giving her one back at her base, they never actually bothered to talk to her. "Any ideas on what we can nickname me though?"

The trio became silent for a few minutes. A nickname was meant to associate somehow with the person, there wasn't much about herself she was able to think about other being a killer. Monster was the only thing she could come up with.

"How about Freckles?" Steve offered, "Nick called you it when we first interviewed you."

"Freckles?" She tried the nickname herself, "what's freckles?"

"The marks on your face," Natasha explained, her words coming out slowly, as though she was consistently surprised that she was having to say the words. "The dots," she pointed at her own face, trying to signal to them.

AS09 looked up at the rear view mirror, only really noticing the 'freckles' for the first time because she'd never really paid much attention to her reflection. She knew the dots were there, she just didn't know they had a name or anything like that. "They're not dangerous are they?"

"What? No." Again Natasha was baffled, whereas Steve seemed to have become quite use to her behaviour.

"Then yes, sure, Freckles. That's my nickname." She said the words with glee, even though it might not fully be a name it was still something that people could call her. Something Steve could call her.

"Hello, Freckles." Steve greeted.

"Hi." She responded, not bothering to fight the way her lips spread out like birds wings, revealing a gummy smile. A very, genuine, gummy smile. It was replaced by an analytical expression as a thought rose up in her mind, "hey Steve," she began to ask, "was I a bad kisser?"

Again the soldier remained silent, trying to think over his words carefully. Meanwhile Natasha was once again laughing at the cherry blossom blush painting his cheeks though she tried to cover it up by placing her hand on top of her mouth.

"You could do with some more practice," he eventually concluded.

* * *

 **A/N: She finally has a nickname, Freckles. I feel like it rolls of the tongue better than AS09 so it's in place until she can get the folder that has her identity. Plus I feel like it's a very important milestone that she be given a name, it just goes to show the difference between her life with Steve and her life with Pierce. But yeah, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it was sort of short and filler-y so I'm sorry about that but the next chapter is hella long and a bunch of shit happens so look forward to that.**

 **To Sam0728, I don't think so. If anything Steve will be a lot more understanding of why Bucky doesn't remember him because of what he's learnt/will learn about her past, he'll understand just how badly Pierce and Hydra can warp a persons brain.**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, thank you! I love writing her discovering stuff and I can't wait to write more, in this chapter she discovers skittles! If you have any ideas of what she should discover let me know because it's honestly so fun to write.**

 **To Unajet, their are certainly some childish mannerisms coming from her but that's just cause she hasn't grown up properly. This was somewhat inspired by RDJ actually cause theres that quote from his wife (which for the life of me I can not find) about how he went through a lot of shit (drug addiction) so now he's acting like a big child, living the life he never got to live cause of what he went through. It's something like that, I really can't find it. But yeah, obviously the circumstances are extremely different between RDJ and AS09 though.**


	11. Chapter Ten

**CHAPTER TEN**

* * *

" _Jump off the cliff and build your wings on the way down."_ _ **\- Ray Bradbury**_

* * *

During the journey to Wheaton the trio discussed many things, relaxing into more comfortable conversation topics and AS09 was actually able to take from the lesson Steve had given her when she was still in captivity and make use of some of the things he told her to not do. She didn't talk about killing. Mostly it was Natasha and Steve explaining certain things to her, but she was still a part of the conversation and gave her own input on things.

The mood became more somber as the sun set and things quieted down so AS09 decided to try and get in her twenty minutes of rejuvenation sleep seen as it had been almost two days since she'd gotten any. She propped her legs up on the empty seat next to her and curled up against the cushiony seat, removing her seatbelt so that it wasn't trying to cut through her clothing.

It wasn't that easy to fall asleep in the small car though. She never curled up when sleeping, she always spread her limbs out like a starfish just so she could make sure there was plenty of room, so she could make sure she wasn't in the pit. The fact that both Steve and Nat were in the car as well didn't help, she didn't trust either of them enough to be completely vulnerable around them so instead her twenty minutes of sleep turned into a long amount of time passing of her eyes being shut and that's about it.

That meant she was privy to a conversation between Steve and Natasha that was probably supposed to be private. Natasha was the one who spoke first and it seemed she'd waited quite a while, obviously feeling assured by Freckles slowed breathing that it was once again just her and Steve. "So do you really trust her?" She spoke quietly, "she could be just playing along until she can tell her 'father' all our plans."

"I do trust her, Nat." Steve also spoke in a whisper but that didn't stop the sincerity of his voice being easily heard, "and I think you should stop giving her such a hard time and trust her a little bit too. There's something more than meets the eye with her, I know it and you know it too if you've read her file."

"What about before the new information though. Steve, she was on my level of bad before Clint saved me, maybe even higher."

Steve faced her for a moment to read the expression on Natasha's face, he'd expected to see a frustrated one because clearly she was arguing against Freckles but she actually seemed quite sad, probably feeling a sting as memories resurfaced of her own dark past. "I thought you'd be more understanding because of your past," Steve dared to say, "I know it's not exactly the same but I am just trying to do what Clint did for you, I'm giving her a chance."

"I am being understanding. Whilst Clint did give me the chance, it was I who made the decision to leave Russia. Do you really think Freckles has it in her to make the same kind of decision?" AS09 grew cold at the question Natasha had asked Steve, doubts crashing down in torrents.

Did she have it in her? Sure, her life had been a cruel one but she'd learnt to ignore it, she'd learnt to cope through killing. She found a joy in killing that she hadn't been able to find in anything else, and that's because she was made to be a monster. Steve wasn't a monster, he was beautiful and bright and brilliant, she didn't belong in his world. She was a monster. A weapon. The worst of humanity compiled into one being. She was better off in the old world, at least she knew how to cope in that world.

A weapon, a monster, that's all she was. That's all she was. _That's all she could ever be_.

"I think she could change the world if she wanted to," Steve said, his voice louder and clearer and like a sun beam breaking through the black stormy clouds that violated her inner thoughts. "You've heard her before, she thinks all she is is a weapon. That's all she's ever been taught to think about herself. I'm willing to bet if she found out the truth, that she's so much more, she'd choose the right path."

"You really think so?" Natasha asked one last time, ready to give up her attempt to change his mind.

The soldier nodded his head with resolve, looking in the rearview mirror one last time to make sure she was asleep. They passed a street light and it's orange glow lit up a teardrop that seemed to have escaped her eye. He decided not to comment on it. "Yes, I really do."

"And what if this all ends up being a trick, Steve? What if it turns out that she's been taking advantage of you being as nice as you are?"

Natasha had a point. Though Steve didn't see himself as the nice guy everyone portrayed him as, it was true that it was a lot easier for him to become emotionally compromised and there was no denying that he was starting to feel things for Freckles. Ranging from sympathy to adoration. But he'd gotten pretty good at reading her, she was a closed off person but there was some things about her that he'd been able to translate. If she was playing him then he'd have been able to figure it out by then. She was struggling, he knew that. Struggling with doing the good thing for him when every cell in her body was telling her to do bad (though obviously she had no idea that it was bad), the battle going on inside of her was sometimes so clear to him the war scene was practically painted across her body.

He thought back to what she'd said earlier, about how she was being treated like she'd already betrayed the chance he gave her. It wasn't right that that's how she'd been feeling, and Steve knew it was time for a change. "She's not the person you think she is," he said adamantly, "and she's not the person I think she is. I don't think she has any idea who she is anymore, and it can't be easy going through what she is going through. All we can do right now is trust her to make the right decisions. Which means, Natasha, you need to stop being so cold towards her. If it turns out that she's been taking advantage of me, then fine. We'll deal with it. But you don't know for sure that she is."

"Okay then," the redhead nodded her own head, turning to face outside the window into the dark blue horizon before them, "you're the Captain."

Another twenty minutes passed by of bittersweet silence. Whilst it is nice to have a relaxing moment, everyone in the car knew that the likelihood of it lasting long wasn't very high. The car came to a stop but AS09 didn't know whether they'd actually arrived or if they were just making another pit stop and so she didn't bother to stir awake, figuring someone would announce it to her when they actually arrived.

A minute passed and the inside of the car was pretty silent excusing a couple of scuffling sounds, when the sound of the door opening and slamming shut, appeared amidst the silence a hand that ghosted over hers. A buzz instantaneously passed over her body that had all of her instincts going into red alert, she used her powers to force the hand away from her and then she sat straight up, pulling her legs beneath herself and squishing herself as close to the door as she could.

She stared wide eyed at Steve whose expression mirrored hers, he didn't think she'd feel so threatened just with them. Clearly it didn't matter who she was with, the poor girl always felt threatened. It painted more of an image in Steve's head of how she'd grown up and it only strengthened the thoughts he'd shared with Natasha earlier, completely solidifying his decision to trust her until she showed signs of being untrustable.

"I'm sorry," he apologised, holding his hands up in the air.

After assessing where she was and who was around her she calmed down though her breathing still pumped her chest in and out at a rapid pace. Natasha had left the car, that was the door slam. Steve was just trying to wake her up, that was the hand that touched hers. She was fine. "No, I'm sorry. Did I hurt your hand?"

He showed her his hand, clenching it into a fist before opening it up again and offering it to her again. Slowly, like the way someone offered their hand to a wild animal, trying not to seem threatening so that the beast wouldn't end up biting their hand off. Gingerly she reached out and caressed the hand herself, it was solid and the usual colour, unharmed. "I'm a super soldier," he said, "it'll take a lot more to hurt me, don't worry."

Steve wasn't showing off, he was telling her that she didn't need to be scared of accidentally hurting him. It was clear to him that for someone who felt like a weapon, it only made sense that they'd be scared of hurting the people they care about.

"What's a super soldier?" AS09 questioned, changing the subject but the new relaxed tone in her voice told Steve he had comforted her with what he'd said.

"A very, very, long time ago I was injected with this serum that enhances my abilities. I'm stronger, faster. I can't explain the science of it all to you, just the basics." He looked out the window, only able to see silhouettes of buildings, "and this is where it all began."

AS09 also moved to look outside, able to identify they were surrounded by numerous small buildings, some bunkers. Natasha was walking outside as well, scouting the area. "Shall we go then?" She asked Steve, turning her hand around in his so that she could hold it. He didn't look exactly pleased to be back, he seemed almost sad but AS09 could tell it wasn't the location he was sad about.

He put on a smile for her and nodded his head, their hands split up and the two exited the vehicle. They were able to get a much clearer view of the grounds once outside of the car.

"You sure this is where the file came from?" Natasha asked Freckles once the pair joined them outside.

"Yeah."

"So did I," Steve commented, feeling a tad nostalgic as he looked around. In his mind he was able to connect every location to a memory, practically able to see his past self running around. It was back when he was much smaller though, unable to breathe from all the running and training he'd been doing.

"Changed much?"

"A little."

Natasha pulled out a small device and began to wander around, holding the device up to scan around. Steve walked around as well, his mind more on familiarising himself with the location once more. AS09 stood back, not really equipped to do anything else, her attention was fixed on Steve and his expression. She was trying to identify if something was wrong but she couldn't tell, she had no way to understand what he was going through and in some way it frustrated her. She much preferred happy and playful Steve, she didn't like him when he was melancholy.

"This is a deadend," Natasha reluctantly announced, putting away the device. "Zero heat signatures, zero waves, not even radio."

"I guess whoever wrote the file used a router to throw people off," AS09 sighed, placing her cold hands into the pockets of her hoodie. She was growing frustrated with all the dead ends, the more they found the more she felt a little bit hopeless that she'd be able to fully get away from her father and his tyranny. She looked to Steve, feeling quite apologetic that she wasn't able to do anything more. Steve's attention seemed to be taken though as he turned, staring at something behind the building she was stood by. "What is it?"

He didn't give an answer initially, making wide steps towards whatever he'd spotted. Natasha and Freckles followed swiftly behind.

"Army regulations forbid storing ammunition within five hundred yards of the barracks. This building is in the wrong place." The building they stopped in front of did look different to all the other buildings, but it wasn't anything Nat and AS09 would have been able to spot because neither of them were soldiers unlike Steve who seemed to be one of the better ones.

The soldier wasted no time with unlocking the door, showing off how strong he was by bashing the edge of his shield against one of the locks. AS09 sighed in relief when no alarms went off, that would have been the last thing they needed.

Together the trio walked inside the old and dusty building, climbing down some stairs into the underground facility. It became clear the moment they stepped inside that it wasn't an ammunition storing facility. Once they made it to the bottom Natasha managed to locate the light switch, flipping it on and proving that the building _definitely_ wasn't a storing facility.

The room was large with desks evenly placed throughout it, and on the wall across from them was a logo only familiar with two of them. "This is SHIELD," Natasha said, rather surprised to have found something that so closely related to her in such a random location. Though the more she thought about it the clearer it became that it wasn't all that random if it's where Steve was trained as a soldier. She had some idea of the history of the department, like how Captain America had been the driving force behind the making of it.

"Maybe where it started," Steve added, confirming Natasha's thoughts and providing a little bit of info to AS09 who was feeling rather lost, choosing to simply walk behind the two that were investigating their surroundings. If they needed her to fight anyone, she'd jump into action, but until that point she'd come to terms with the fact that she wasn't very useful.

They found a doorway leading somewhere else and entered the room, once again Natasha and Steve were walking in front doing their investigating whilst AS09 drifted behind, looking around at the old surroundings. "There's Stark's father." Natasha suddenly said, breaking through the silence and gaining AS09's attention.

"Howard," Steve said, the name coming out almost as a whisper.

"Who's the girl?" Nat asked, nodding her head to one of the other pictures before turning to Steve but she got no response. The soldier didn't reply and turned to walk further down the room, beginning to explore the book shelves.

AS09 remained staring at the black and white portraits, trying to guess their connections with Steve who had genuinely looked sad after seeing them. Before his emotions had been hard to place, but the look on his face when he saw the pictures was very easy to read for AS09, it was grief. She kept looking from Steve to the pictures, feeling sympathy stretch out inside her like a tired cat.

All the people in the pictures seemed to be staring down at her but her attention was fixed on only one of the photographs, the framed image of Howard Stark was wonky and so she decided to fix it. She climbed up onto the dusty shelf and took a hold of both sides of the frame so she could twist it anti-clockwise and put the picture as straight as the other two.

She jumped back down, wiping harshly against her clothes to try and rid herself of all the dust she'd lathered herself in by climbing onto the shelves.

"Freckles," Steve called, he hadn't noticed what she'd done because he'd been too busy finding something else far more interesting. When she joined the pair once more it seemed Steve had moved a bookshelf to reveal an elevator.

"Jeez, how much further underground can this place go?" She sucked in a breath, beginning to feel a familiar anxiety start to spin in both her stomach and mind. Steve and Natasha stepped into the elevator but AS09 didn't follow, instead her eyes repeatedly darted between the walls.

The elevator was too small. It's shape too familiar. She couldn't go in there. Reason told her it was just an elevator, but every bone in her body shook with the sense that it was something much worse.

"I think I should sit this one out," she tried to say as casually as she could, cringing at the audible strain coming out in her voice, "you guys don't need me for this."

"We don't know what we'll find down there," Natasha responded, arms crossed over her chest.

Natasha may have been a spy but she hadn't gained the skill to read someone as unreadable as AS09 yet, Steve however had coined onto the anxiety straight away. He was about to tell her that she didn't have to but the brunette had already shakingly entered the elevator, trying her best to put on a brave face and pretend like she was completely unaffected. It was a war between her pride and her anxiety, whilst one told her to stay away from the elevator (it was a trap. It was the pit in disguise. It will trap her in there for weeks), her pride didn't want her to look weak in front of Natasha.

It became practically unbearable when the doors closed, though AS09 managed to keep the animalistic roars and sobs inside, she could not stop her breathing from speeding up and becoming louder. She could not stop the whirlwind thoughts and the images that attacked the inside of her mind like pin pricks over and over again, convincing her more and more that it was all over and if she dared to blink she'd find herself back in the darkness of the punishment pit. AS09 tried her best to get back some control from the thoughts, she dug her fingernails so deep into the palm of her hand blood slid down but it was no use. There was no use.

Steve moved quickly without thinking, wrapping his arm around his shoulders and trying his best to provide comfort for her. He wasn't sure if it would work, he'd never seen her become so suddenly vulnerable but he knew that she'd been enjoying the shows of affection he'd introduced to her.

At first AS09 didn't enjoy it, the tightness felt like another layer, another reminder. But then she felt the warmth of his body radiating onto hers, it wasn't like the cold stone walls of the pit. He smelt clean, not filthy like the pit. The extra layer that had wrapped around her shoulders was squishy, perhaps unbreakable like the walls of the pit, but much more comforting. The arm that surrounded her only had kind intentions unlike the darkness of the pit.

"Take deep breaths," he told her, repeating the words his old friend Bucky use to say to him whenever he got nervous and jumpy much like she had. Freckles followed his instructions, forcing her body into submission so she could slow down her breathing, the mist that had begun to fill her mind dissipating and revealing a much preferred clarity. It was an elevator, just an elevator. She was safe in that elevator, she was safe with Steve.

He furthered his touch by beginning to rub gently against her clothed bicep. "You okay?" He asked, he'd kept his voice low, as though he were trying to keep the conversation from Nat and though both knew she could easily see and hear what was happening Natasha had been nice enough to pretend to be ignorant.

AS09 didn't respond, she wasn't at that level yet where she could communicate about her demons with Steve. Half because she was scared he'd begin to hate her again, and half because the past has taught her that no one cared enough to hear. He didn't seem to mind though and instead used his other hand to take a hold of hers, not caring about the tiny amount of blood that dotted his fingers, only concentrating on rubbing his thumb against the back of her hand.

The elevator ride didn't last very long after she'd been able to calm down and once the doors were open she rushed out into the more open space, triggering the lights inside the room to turn on. She closed her eyes, not turning to face the other two until she was able to pretend like everything was fine again. Once AS09 had fully calmed herself down she turned back, a fake smile curving her rose shaded lips. "Well that was fun," she joked, unable to look Steve in the eye when his eyes shone so brightly of concern.

"This can't be the data-point," Natasha commented, turning the conversation away from what happened. It kind of shocked AS09 to see the redhead do something so nice for her, until she managed to convince herself that the only reason Nat did it was to move on from the awkwardness and go back to the mission at hand. It had nothing to do with AS09. Natasha walked forward, "this technology is ancient."

Steve openly sighed, he'd wanted AS09 to open up and maybe allow him to help fight off whatever demons she'd been facing alone but Natasha had also been right to move back onto the mission at hand. Steve followed behind Natasha, leaving AS09 to once again wander behind the pair.

Natasha found a small flash drive port that didn't belong among all the old technology that surrounded them, obviously the location was the data point after all. She pushed in the flash drive into the port which brings the large computer in front of them to life. The next step was to initiate the system on the computer, Natasha was the one to do it. Typing in the keys and cautiously looking back at the screen, wary to see what would happen next but also very curious. "Shall we play a game?" She asked coyly, trying to lighten the intense moment. "It's from a movie that-"

"Yeah, I saw it." Steve interrupted.

"Well I haven't, what's the movie about?" AS09 asked, stepping up closer to the computer with the trio.

"You are never watching that movie," Steve said before Natasha could go on to explain, a finality in his voice that AS09 couldn't argue against.

"Rogers, Steven. Born 1918." An accented voice begins to speak from the computer, surprising all three of them and forcing their heads to turn back to the computer screen where a fuzzy face made from symbols had appeared. "Romanoff, Natalia Alianovna. Born, 1984." The camera on top of the computer moved towards AS09, "Experiment AS09, you're a long way from home." And then returned back to facing forward, not giving any information on the assassin that she would have liked.

"It's some kind of a recording," Natasha questioned only to have the computer instantly dispute against her theory.

"I am not a recording, Fräulein. I may not be the man I was when the Captain took me prisoner in 1945, but I am." The computer screen displayed a picture of a short and chubby bald man with glasses on his face, the man did not look very happy in the photograph.

"Do you know this thing?" Natasha asked.

Steve began to wander around the room, confusion evident on his face as he began to wander around the room. "Arnim Zola was a German scientist who worked for the Red Skull. He's been dead for years," he explained as he tried to spot anything human in the room, but all there was were thousands of data banks.

"First correction, I am Swiss. Second, look around you. I have never been more alive." Both Natasha and AS09 looked around the room, only just beginning to wrap their minds around what they were seeing. "In 1972 I received a terminal diagnosis. Science could not save my body, my mind, however, that was worth saving on two hundred thousand feet of data banks. You are standing in my brain."

"Ew," AS09 commented, though she was still amazed by the scientists achievement.

Steve finished his walk around the room, coming to stand by Natasha's side once again, "how did you get here?"

"Invited."

Natasha searched her mind, trying to recall from the history of SHIELD what Zola could be talking about, it took the smart agent only a few seconds and then she explained it to Steve. "It was Operation Paperclip after World War II. SHIELD recruited German scientists with strategic value."

"They thought I could help their cause. I also helped my own." Zola explained. Even though it was just a computer, the snark in the AI's voice was almost insultingly clear. Insulting for Steve only though.

"HYDRA died with the Red Skull." Steve argued, patience already wearing thin.

"Cut off one head, two more shall take its place." On the screen it showed a symbol of a skull with tentacles reaching out, AS09 could recall seeing that symbol a lot in her base, mostly on the uniforms of her guards. That's when she realised that she must have been on the same team as the AI before her which explained why it had said what it did to her.

"Prove it." The soldier demanded, not ready to believe that everything he fought for, everything he died for, was nothing in the grand scheme of things.

"Accessing archive." The computer screen began to play old footage of Johann Schmidt, the Red Skull, "HYDRA was founded on the belief that humanity could not be trusted with its own freedom. What we did not realize, was that if you try to take that freedom, they resist. The war taught us much. Humanity needed to surrender its freedom willingly." AS09's attention was captivated by the images that played on the screen, able to recognise Steve immediately even when he had his helmet on. It was weird seeing him in such olden time footage, but her heart swelled at the footage that played, it was him being a captain, saving lives and fighting. "After the war, SHIELD was founded," on the screen appeared the people they'd earlier seen framed, "and I was recruited. The new HYDRA grew. A beautiful parasite inside SHIELD. For seventy years HYDRA has been secretly feeding crisis, reaping war. And when history did not cooperate, history was changed." Images flashed on the screen, images of the Winter Soldier and images of AS09. At those the brunette looked downward, uncomfortable with Steve seeing those images for some reason.

"That's impossible, SHIELD would have stopped you."

"Accidents will happen." The computer argued, showing an image of a newspaper with the headline ' **Howard and Maria Stark Die in Car Accident, Daughter Disappears** '. Everyone in the room coined on that it mustn't have been a car accident after all, Hydra had been the one behind it. "HYDRA created a world so chaotic that humanity is finally ready to sacrifice its freedom to gain its security. Once the purification process is complete, HYDRA's new world order will arise. We won, Captain. Your death amounts to the same as your Life; a zero sum."

Out of rage Steve raised his fist and brought it forth with enough force to crack the screen completely, he refused to use the shield, he wanted the hit to be more personal. AS09 could see the rage burning in his eyes, the pain, and so she did the only thing she knew and took a hold of his hand. She'd been the one to teach him how to comfort in such a way, but she was still nervous that he'd tug away from her. She was Hydra, she'd understand if he pulled away. Thankfully he didn't, instead he tightened his grip in her hand and allowed her to rub her other hand against the knuckles he'd just used against the computer screen. There was no damage done obviously but AS09 still wanted to be sure.

It wasn't long before Zola appeared once more on a different screen, "as I was saying…"

He didn't give a damn about whatever Zola had to say anymore, Steve just wanted answers and so he charged over to the smaller screen the AI was now appearing on, "what's on this drive?"

"Project Insight requires insight. So I wrote an algorithm."

"What kind of algorithm? What does it do?" Natasha asked.

"The answer to your question is fascinating. Unfortunately, you shall be too dead to hear it." Behind them the doors began to close, Steve jumped forward and tried to throw his shield in between the closing doors but he was too late, the doors shut and the shield bounced back to him.

Meanwhile Natasha pulled out the device she'd been using to scan the area before, though AS09 wasn't able to see what was on the screen, she was able to see Natasha's expression which looked very panicked. "Steve, we got a bogey. Short range ballistic. 30 seconds tops."

"Who fired it?"

"S.H.I.E.L.D."

"I am afraid I have been stalling, Captain. Admit it, it's better this way. We're both of us, out of time." As he spoke no one paid any mind. Natasha grabbed a hold of the flash drive whilst Steve found a way for them to get out or at least protect themselves. He noticed a small opening on the ground and threw the metal grate blocking them from it to side, just as all three of them slipped in the bogey hit.

The ground quaked and rubble mixed with dust collapsed on top of them in a heap, Steve held his shield up and tried to cover Natasha and Freckles with his body to keep them from harm but it turned out he didn't need to. He'd had his eyes closed but a bright light could be seen, he slowly opened them to find that AS09 had created a forcefield around them. The strain was apparent on her face though. Even though the effects of the explosion only lasted mere seconds, with the weight that AS09 fought off it soon became too much. Blood began to seep from her nose and ears, a fog growing in her mind that threatened the loss of consciousness but she thought hard against it. She wouldn't let Steve die.

If the intensity of the situation wasn't weighing down on her (as well as the pile of broken building and dirt) AS09 might have actually laughed. For the first time in her life she was actually trying to save someone's life.

"Freckles," he said her name softly and with disbelief, barely audible over the sound of rubble crashing down on top of them.

"Get ready," she replied, ignoring his concern, "once I drop this forcefield rubble with fall on us but we've got to get out of here now." He nodded his head, "I'll try use my powers to keep the rubble up so you can use your strength to dig us out, but I'm weak. I've never used this much power before." She was beginning to hate the restriction her father had put on her power use now, because if she'd had the necessary practice she probably would have been able to get them out of the mess they were in with ease.

"It's okay," he attempted to soothe, wanting her to let down the forcefield quickly because signs of weakness were becoming more and more visible on her body. She'd become paler and her posture seemed to have slackened, not to mention the copious amounts of blood pouring from her. "Just leave the rest to me."

Steve managed to force one of the rubble pieces away from them, thankfully creating an exit for them to get out of with ease. AS09 busied herself by grabbing Natasha and pushing her forward, knowing that Steve would want his friend safe as well, what she didn't realise until she felt how limp the redhead was that Natasha had fainted. "Steve," she called out, "you're going to have to carry her out."

"What about you?" He said as he quickly grabbed Natasha, pulling her into his arms and lifting her up off the floor.

"I'll be fine, I'm a strong girl." She laughed, the chuckle being replaced quickly by a coughing fit. "Now move, they'll be sending in the search party very soon." AS09 struggled to find balance once she actually managed to stand up, having to pause for a moment to rest against a rock until the world stopped spinning. Once she was able to concentrate on the path ahead of her she returned to attempting to walk without fainting, wiping away all the blood she felt on her body as she did.

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 **A/N: BONJOUR! How's everyones Sunday going? If it's going bad, I'm very sorry, hopefully this chapter will have made it better cause there's a lot that happens in it. AS09 saves people, I'm so proud of her, look at her growing up before our very eyes! Also, holy cheeseballs, we're at chapter ten. I know no one really knows me, but I really suck with finishing stories, I really suck with writing past three chapters and have over 200 unfinished stories/plans on my google drive. So a big clap for me. I've actually finished part one so, also applause for that please and thank you.**

 **To Guest, hello! Thank you for your compliment! I'm so happy you're enjoying it!**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, oh yeah definitely, she doesn't know just how amazing junk food is but one day she will. Maybe with another character she can have a take away night or something where they just order a shit tonne of food and she gets to discover all these different types like chinese, curries, etc etc etc.**

 **Sam0728, you have no idea how much I wish I could just publish all the chapters I've written so far but I feel like it's better for everyone if I have a set day I can publish and a few chapters already written in case there's a week where I can't write at least there's still something for me to publish, yknow? But I still really enjoy doing weeks where I post two chapters, and I'll certainly do more. I'm pretty sure I'll end up throwing out a few the week before Infinity Wars as like a celebration.**

 **And a big thank you to everyone else that read and favourites and stuffs, you're a big help for my motivation too!**


	12. Chapter Eleven

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

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" _You don't get to tell people how to love you; you get to choose if you want to participate in the way they love."_ _ **\- Iyanla Vanzant**_

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Wandering through the vast expanse of his luxurious home was Alexander Pierce, dressed in a hoodie and jogging pants there was no sign that behind closed doors the all-american man's life was crumbling down as easy as a sandcastle underneath a foot.

He walked down one of the hallways of his home into the kitchen, passing numerous paintings that he'd collected over the years as a pet project. It was something he did in order to distract himself from the distress he often felt at work thanks to the cursed brunette that always seemed to be causing some sort of issue. He'd missed when she was younger and more susceptible, she'd obey his every word out of fear, but it seemed by making her always vulnerable to punishment he'd accidentally built up her resilience and he was suffering for that mistake.

They'd managed to keep her fighting spirit down for a fair amount of years but it seemed they hadn't been doing enough as once more she'd caused a humongous issue for Hydra by being disrespectful. He'd truly believed he'd damaged her enough before the mission to ensure she'd only stick to her commands but she'd left with Captain America and it was seeming more and more like she was choosing to stick on his side.

Pierce had gotten a report from Brock Rumlow that they'd found signs of three people in the ruins of Wheaton, New Jersey which meant AS09 was definitely sticking with Steve and there was a possibility she might have even saved him.

The concerning thoughts constantly played over in his mind and they caused him to release a long frustrated sigh, the fiftieth one that day. Still he pursued his original intent, entering his kitchen (that was far too large for one man, but what others saw as vacant space he saw as proof of his power) and going over to the fridge so he could retrieve some milk, completely unaware of the man who was sitting patiently awaiting orders from his master. As he turned to put the milk down on the side, Alexander finally spotted the Winter Soldier.

"Going to go Mr Pierce," his maid announced, thankfully for Pierce she hadn't wandered into the kitchen and spotted his late night visitor. "Do you need anything before I leave?"

"No," he said, trying his best to sound casual and confident, "I, uh, it's fine, Renata, you can go home."

"Okay, night-night."

Pierce waited until the maid shut the front door on her way out before finally acknowledging the Winter Soldier. "Want some milk?" He asked, turning around so he could retrieve a glass for the beverage. The Winter Soldier didn't reply. He simply waited until his master was ready to get onto the important topic of his next mission, which meant enduring the seconds as Pierce casually messed around pouring himself a glass of milk, not caring if he was wasting the Winter Soldier's time.

The Winter Soldier had Pierce actually missing AS09, she was talkative to just him because no one else ever talked to her (because that's what he'd ordered). She was raised to see him as her only friend as well as her father and that's probably why he liked her so much, because essentially she was all his. Every part of her, mind and body, belonged to Alexander.

Eventually the man gave the soldier what he wanted, orders. "The timetable has moved. Our window is limited. Three targets, all level six." Alexander seated himself in front of the soldier, listing off all the necessary details for the assassins next mission. "They already cost me Zola. I want confirmed deaths for two of them in ten hours. Experiment AS09 is with them and we think she's gone rogue. Your primary objective is to subjugate and capture her… But if she puts up too much of a fight then you have permission to exterminate." He didn't want her to die, she was a very valuable weapon but if he didn't acknowledge that she was a lost cause when he needed to it could be detrimental to them. They could always create another AS09, it just takes a long time.

A noise from behind Pierce had him swiftly twisting in his seat, panic set onto his face though it melted when he realised it was just Renata. Though the sight of her did create a crack on the cold ice block in his chest that some would call a heart.

Meanwhile the Winter Soldier had managed to remain completely serene, the shadows that hid his face unnecessary as his mask didn't even twitch when the maid entered the room.

"Sorry Mr Pierce, I forgot my phone…" She nervously played with the sleeves of her sweater as she noticed the oddly dressed man sat opposite from her boss. Never before had she been so overcome by the urge to run.

Her nerves were not soothed when her boss let out a disappointed sight. "Oh, Renata," he cursed as he rose up from his seat, taking a hold of something that had been on the table though she wasn't able to see it initially as Alexander's body had been in the way. "I wish you would have knocked."

This was something he normally left to AS09 or the man behind him, Pierce wasn't the type to get his hands dirty. In fact he wasn't the type to use his hands for much other than signing off papers. They were silky smooth, kept under a lovely moisturiser regime that cost what most would compare to something more flashy, like a decent television, or a months worth of meals for the hungry. There was no roughness, no callouses, no scars. Using his flawless hand he brought it upward and finally revealed to the shaking Renata what he was holding, a gun.

The next day outside of a small home in Washington the trio stood, weakened, tired and dirty. It was apparent on all their faces how worn they were both physically and mentally.

Natasha stood in between Steve and Freckles, still not fully capable of standing up straight. Whenever she did manage to stand on her own two feet she'd involuntarily start swaying and either Steve or AS09 would rush to grab a hold of her in order to keep her from falling. Once they'd come to a stop outside of Sam Wilson's home they'd allow her to stand on her own but they still stood close by just in case.

Steve was the one to knock on the door and it was a short wait before a man answered, sweat was dripping down his dark skin and staining the purple shirt he wore. From his outfit AS09 was able to deduce the man had just been training, possibly jogging, and from the raised eyebrows accompanied by a slack jaw she was able to guess he hadn't been expecting three battered and bruised humans to appear on his doorstep.

"I'm sorry about this," Steve apologised, knowing there wasn't really a necessity for an explanation. Their dirty appearance made it quite clear for everyone that they'd been through an ordeal, and their appearance on his doorstep probably screamed 'we need your help', Steve did reveal what help he was hoping to get from his acquentice though, "we need a place to lay low."

Both Natasha and AS09 didn't trust being so out in the open, both pairs of eyes flitted around, prepared for any sudden dangers. "Everyone we know is trying to kill us," Natasha said, not holding back any information in order to rush past any questions.

The shock melted away from Sam's face and was replaced with a determined look, the kind of look you'd only ever find on a man dedicated to a cause. "Not everyone," he pushed open the door wider and allowed the trio to stumble inside.

"Hi," AS09 was the last to enter and she awkwardly introduced herself to the stranger, beginning to become uncomfortable with the amount of people Steve was forcing her to meet. She didn't trust that all of them wouldn't turn on her after learning of her past, she still wasn't 100% sure Steve wouldn't turn against her, she certainly enjoyed the thought that he wouldn't though.

Sam nodded his head back in greeting to her. As he went to shut the door behind the trio he looked around the outdoors, making sure their entrance went unseen by any of his neighbours.

Once in the safety of Sam's home they were all welcome to showers and clean clothes. Steve was quick to offer the girls first chance to the shower (talking about how it was the gentlemen's thing to do) which left Natasha and AS09 to choose who would go first. AS09 didn't even hesitate before telling the redhead to go first, she was the most worn out and would benefit the most.

AS09 had plenty of memories where she was in the same state as Natasha was, and she also remembered just how glorious a shower felt afterward.

To her surprise Natasha put up a hand and shook her head, "no, you've earnt it." To make her decision clearer Nat slowly lowered her aching body onto Sam's bed. AS09 opened her mouth to argue but was interrupted by the worn out agent, "you saved my life back there which means I owe you, just go and shower."Natasha wouldn't say it twice and AS09 didn't ask her to out of respect.

She'd just been taught a lesson that almost dying with someone was a great way to build mutual respect between people that once upon a time held a strong dislike for each other. Whilst it was good to no longer be fighting Natasha with every word she said, and have that returned, Freckles doubted she'd make a habit of using that particular bonding technique.

The brunette welcomed the scorching waters from the shower openly, feeling like the water was somehow soaking through the pores on her body and revitalising every single inch of her, filling her with life once again.

She tried not to take too long which meant forcing down the temptation to remain under the warm water for the rest of the day. When she was done drying off her body she got dressed in a navy blue vest and joggers which were very baggy on her but covered all her the parts of her she'd prefer to keep covered. They were clothes that belonged to Sam but she was going to have to make do whilst he washed her other clothes.

Natasha showered next, leaving Steve and Freckles to have a conversation but the two still felt quite worn out. "How are you feeling?" Steve asked first.

"I've been better," she'd responded, rubbing her hair with a towel to try and dry it. Thankfully it's shortness meant it was pretty easy to dry, there was a time before when she'd had all her hair shaved off but she'd learnt over time she much preferred having hair. When she noticed the guilty expression Steve sent her, like a damaged puppy, she quickly corrected herself through spluttered words and waving hands, "but I've also been worse."

"I'm sorry."

"I don't see why," she said the words quickly, so fast she had no time to actually think through what she was saying. "I came with you, I chose to use my powers to protect us. What happened is on me as much as it is you, and I don't feel sorry. We've got more information, we're not just at another dead end anymore."

Steve remained silent, sitting on the edge of Sam's bed with his palms placed together and his fingers on his lips. Thinking, AS09 figured, he was just thinking. It was hard to concentrate on much when he was sat in just a vest and joggings, his muscles were bulging and drawing her eyes the way nectar drew in a butterfly. It was another first for her that didn't feel any where near horrible, it brought along as much fear within her as it did wonder. Her eyes worked their way all around his body, taking in the shape of his nose, the way his stomach set when he sat down in a leant forward position, the way both his eyebrows and lips became a straight line when he was in deep thought, it was like she was seeing him for the first time.

Once Natasha returned from her shower Steve left to go have his, leaving the two girls alone. They sat in silence for a good five minutes before AS09 left. Just because they had mutual respect didn't mean they were friends, their was still some caution shared between the two. First came respect, then trust, at least it did for the two girls who had become who they were through pain.

She stumbled her way through the unfamiliar house until she found Sam Wilson in his kitchen, cooking food. For a moment she went delirious, a foreign smell wafted it's way to her nose and like a wild animal she was ready to pounce on the meal but her humanity kicked in just in time and forced her to stand steady.

"You making food?" She asked, trying to sound casual as she moved nearer, leaning against one of the counters as she tried to get a better look at what he was making.

He looked her up and down, she noticed. "Yeah," he responded, holding up a pan and shaking its contents, "is scrambled eggs and bacon okay?"

"I don't know," she answered honestly, feeling that same desire she'd had moments ago when staring at Steve bubble up as she stared at the food. "I don't think I've eaten scrambled eggs and bacon before, does it taste good? Definitely smells good." She leaned in closer towards him so that she could smell the food, as she inhaled an inhuman noise passed through her lips.

"So, can I ask you a question?" He busied himself with flipping over the bacon he had in a pan, giving her side glances numerous times and she was aware of every look. He was trying to figure her out, figure if she was a threat or not.

AS09 was doing the same in her own way. Whilst she was trying to follow Steve's previous rules that he taught her about conversation and interacting with other people, she was still being cautious, analysing his every word and movement. Though she came off relaxed and gleeful, she was readily prepared for him to attack her. It wasn't a case of 'would he attack' for her, it was a case of 'when'.

"You're making me food," she responded with a congenial smile, she wasn't the best at acting though so the mask was clearly a fake, "you get to ask me anything."

He emptied some bacon on a plate which already had bread and butter on the side. "No offence, but you don't really seem to fit in with those two."

She waited a moment but he didn't continue, his statement was on something very obvious so she couldn't understand what she was meant to exactly be answering, "where's the question?"

"Why are you with them?" Sam knew about Captain America from his own work life, he never thought one day he'd meet the real thing but it turned out the super soldier was actually a pretty cool guy. But there was something about the way AS09 teetered around that had him wary of her, she seemed like a wolf constantly crawling across the ground ready to pounce at the first sight of food. There was also the fact that Natasha didn't seem to trust her, Sam knew Cap was a nice guy and he was concerned his friend had gotten mixed up with the wrong sort of person.

"You're smart," she complimented, realising that Cap seemed to pick his companions well, he'd obviously made a mistake with her though. "I'm with them cause Steve has given me a chance to prove myself because I'm essentially the enemy, I first met him when he captured me." She laughed at the memory which seemed so long ago, even though it had actually only been two days since they escaped from SHIELD. "SHIELD, the place they work," Sam nodded to let her know he knew what she was talking about, "and also the place I was being held in, became compromised and Steve came to get me. He said he was giving me a chance, he seems to think I'm capable of more than I realise."

A small smile widened her lips, a genuine smile. It seemed to make her shy and she looked downward to the floor in order to hide it. Freckles recalled the conversation Steve and Natasha had in the car on their way to New Jersey, the soldier had said that he believed she could _change the world_. That was a lot of faith to put onto someone who had so far proved she could only destroy the world.

That's another thing he kept talking about, he seemed to think there was something wrong with the way she viewed herself but it was so difficult to view what she was as anything other than a weapon. She supposed, when simplified, it all came down to one thing. Who was right, Steve or her Father? Was she something more, or was she just a weapon? Was her life hers, or her Fathers? Freckles or Experiment AS09?

"Anyway," she looked back to Sam who was busying himself with finishing up the scrambled eggs, "I'm also with them because they have a folder which holds all this mysterious information about me in it, I don't know much about myself other than that I was created and they managed to get a blood sample so they know a lot more about me than I do. My date of birth, whether I'm entirely human or not," she widened her eyes jokingly and Sam gave a low chuckle. Then as an afterthought she added, "and maybe my name as well."

"Can you butter up some more bread please?" Sam asked, pointing towards a corner of his kitchen where there was butter laid out and a loaf of bread waiting to be used. She nodded her head, taking the butter knife into her right hand and feeling the fresh weight of it. AS09 was use to knives, she spent a lot of her time with knives, never before had she used one to butter bread. Steve had made her so domestic, she thought, internally laughing.

"So is that why they call you Freckles?" Sam asked, continuing their previous conversation.

"Yeah, technically the only title I've got is Experiment AS09 but they wanted me to have a proper name. I wanted it too," she answered, "how much bread do you need buttered?"

"Six slices please, or… do you think I should do more? Do they even eat breakfast?"

Freckles laughed lightly at his questions, "you'll have to ask them yourself. If not, then I'll happily eat their breakfasts."

"I doubt you'd be able to fit all this in you," he quickly argued and she raised an eyebrow at him, an eyebrow that said 'you sure you want to challenge me?' and it seemed effective enough because he soon left to go ask Steve and Natasha if they wanted to eat breakfast.

The pair joined Sam and Freckles in the kitchen and together they all sat and ate, Sam ended up giving her some more of his own food after she managed to get through the entirety of her own meal before they'd even managed to get to their third mouthful. Once they were done Sam took the dishes away from the table and they began to discuss what steps they would take next.

Natasha was the one who started it off, "so, the question is: who in SHIELD could launch a domestic missile strike?"

AS09 knew the answer to her question, she'd known who'd been behind it all ever since the night her father came to visit her when she was back in the SHIELD prison. She decided it was time for them to know the truth. She'd saved their lives, that was proof enough for herself whose side of the line she was hoping she'd be on when their mission was over. "The same man I worked for before being captured, my father, though I think you guys call him Alexander Pierce."

The shock in that room created a tension as choking as smoke emitted from fire, Natasha seemed to be repeatedly looking from Steve to Freckles, mouth hanging open slightly as she took in the latest revelation. Sam was watching Natasha and Steve's reactions, he still didn't totally understand the strangers place with them but it was evident she'd surprised them with what she'd just said. Steve was just staring at Freckles, his hand twisted around a fork but other than that the rest of him remained like a statue.

She stared back at him bravely, her face void of emotion as she waited for his reaction. She could understand if he was annoyed with her, she'd withheld some very important information that probably would have lessened the time it took for them to solve the mystery behind the flash drive. AS09 wanted him to show his anger, at least then she'd be able to defend herself and her choice to withhold the information, though Steve probably already knew what she'd say. 'He created me, my loyalties were with him at first'. She'd used that 'I'm a weapon' saying so much by that point she'd become like a broken record, far too predictable.

Natasha noticed Steve's silence though she couldn't tell if it was from anger, sadness or something in between. In order to carry on the more important part of the conversation she moved around the room, drawing their attention. "The same man who happens to be sitting on top of the most secure building in the world."

The soldier sighed, placing down his knife and finally looking away from the wary brunette, "but he's not working alone. Zola's algorithm was on the Lemurian Star."

"So was Jasper Sitwell," Natasha reminded him whilst putting both her hands on her hips. They'd just figured out what their next step would be.

"So, the real question is: how do the two most wanted people in Washington kidnap a SHIELD officer in broad daylight?" Steve looked to everyone in the room hoping that someone would be able to provide the answer, he looked at everyone but AS09.

Until she spoke up, "I can do it. My father won't be showing loads of people pictures of me, he won't want to take the chance in case I do go back to work for him."

Steve seemed unsure at her proposition but he didn't share why, he still wasn't talking to her and it _still_ wasn't clear why. Sam spoke up, dropping a file in front of Steve as he spoke, "and I'll go with her."

"What's this?" Steve stood up as Natasha picked up the photograph on top of the file, meanwhile AS09 leant forward in order to inspect the front page of the folder, identifying that it was a classified military project called 'Falcon'.

"Call it a resume."

Natasha seemed to have some know on his past, able to recall some mission Sam had participated in. They discussed his past and what AS09 was able to actually understand is that the stranger who cooked her breakfast had a seemingly impressive past, one where he was a pilot but not exactly a pilot.

"I can't ask you to do this, Sam. You got out for a good reason."

"You got out?" AS09 asked the question without meaning to, she was just so surprised that someone who shared their line of work could manage to dig their way out of the consuming lifestyle. Steve and Natasha didn't seem as surprised though, which was weird for her because she'd always assumed that jobs like being an agent, a spy, a soldier or an assassin were essentially the same thing just with different descriptions and requirements.

The realisation that they weren't actually all the same, and for some there was an easy way to get out of the lifestyle, made her wonder if it could be the same for her? Though the idea seemed more hopeless in her mind, at least it had her thinking there was a possibility for once.

"Yeah," he said in answer to AS09 as well as acknowledging what Steve was saying, "but Captain America needs my help. There's no better reason to get back in."

Steve exhaled his breath, not liking the idea of pulling someone into the life they lead, but Sam was his own man and could make decisions, the determination in Sam's voice was enough to make the decision for Steve alone. Plus the file showed Sam already had quite a bit of experience in the superhero life, in fact, he might be a great addition to their team. He certainly wasn't as much a risk as AS09 was.

"Where can we get our hands on one of these things?"

"The last one is at Fort Meade, behind three guarded gates and a twelve-inch steel wall." What Sam said was supposed to sound like a challenge, he made it out like that but Steve looked to Natasha and she shrugged, Natasha looked to AS09 and she grinned.

That was all the confirmation Steve needed, he threw down the folder onto the table, seemingly carefree. "Shouldn't be a problem."

They all began to get ready, Sam gave her the clothes she'd arrived in that were once again clean and dry (and smelt like lilly's) so she removed herself for a moment to get back into the casual outfit. Though when she left the bathroom there was a block in the hallway consisting of Steve and Sam, they were speaking quietly and nearing the end of the conversation but Freckles managed to decipher what was being said through reading his lips. "Is that alright?"

"Yeah, course man." Sam responded whilst patting the super soldier on the arm.

Steve noticed Freckles first, he gave a respective nod to Sam who nodded back and went in the opposite direction to them whilst Steve walked up to her.

"Hello," she greeted, trying to sound cheerful though she was still quite concerned about his lack of response earlier when she'd revealed that Pierce was also her father. He still didn't look all that happy, she'd spent at least enough time with him to know the difference between Happy Steve and Not Happy Steve.

As he approached her she pressed herself up against the wall of Sam's tiny hallway, finding herself remembering all too well when she'd be placed in the same position with her father. She'd have disobeyed or withheld information he thought was important and then she'd get punished, AS09 was readying herself for the same treatment from Steve.

"Hi," he said back, and though he may have spoken to Natasha and Sam it felt wondrous to hear him speak to her again. What was even better for Freckles was the lack of anger in his voice, he was speaking gently to her and no matter how hard she searched for it there was no malice. "Look, I just spoke to Sam and Nat about it and we all think you should stay here and rest up whilst we go get Sam's gear."

It felt like her heart had dropped to the floor with an audible thud, with the kind of loudness that sent shockwaves all through her body and made all the hairs on her skin stand up straight. "What?" He was mad, she knew it. By trying to build more trust through revealing the identity of her father she'd simply burnt the bridge they'd been working hard to create. Looks like her father was right, all she was able to do was destroy things.

"You spent a lot of your energy protecting me and Nat back there, you need to get that energy back before you go on a the mission." He'd given a very valid reason but all she could think about was the reason she'd managed to conjure up. Dejected, she looked to the floor but it wasn't long before Steve's hand went underneath her chin and brought her head back up so she could look into his blue eyes, "I'm worried about you Freckles."

Honesty, that's all she saw in his eyes. There was no sign of hatred. So then why was it so hard for her to believe he still actually cared for her? With a sigh she took a hold of his hand in hers, deciding even if he did hate her she still liked the comfort, "there's no need to worry, I can still be useful on the mission. Please don't put me on the fence, I know you're angry with me because I never told you about my Father but I- I can-"

"I'm not angry with you," he interrupted, tightening his grasp on her hand ever so slightly as though that would show the strength behind his statement. Steve finally saw what he'd been missing, Freckles thought he was angry at her for taking so long to tell him about Pierce but she was so wrong. He was angry, just not with her. He tugged gently on her hand, cocking his head to the bedroom at the end of the hallway, "come on."

She allowed him to pull her where he directed, her mind busy processing that he'd said he wasn't angry with her. Her soldier had said he wasn't angry, he'd accepted her past, he'd said just that. Freckles wanted to laugh because _still_ , she couldn't find it in herself to believe what he was saying to her.

After a short walk they ended up back in Sam's bedroom, Steve pointed to the bed, "Sam says it's okay for you to sleep here, so try and get more than twenty minutes. Have a full rest, you've definitely earned it and your body needs it."

"It's not as simple as that," she says as she turned to face him once more, still holding his hand and beginning to play with his fingers. AS09 didn't want to be away from Steve, she wanted to spend time with him trying to make him forgive her for withholding the information that she did. The last thing she wanted to do was sleep, it was hard enough for her to fall asleep in normal circumstances, to allow her mind to shut down and leave herself completely vulnerable. "I didn't even sleep longer than an hour when I was back at the base," she tried to explain.

"That's because you couldn't feel safe, not with Pierce around. But you're safe here, there's no threat here." His thumb gently stroked across the back of her hand and he smiled at her, finally, a smile.

AS09 had never cared much for people's smiles until she saw his, it always had this touch of shyness to it, especially when his head was bent downward slightly and he'd look up to her through his eyelashes. Then there was his big smiles, the ones that revealed his teeth and transformed his face into a beaming sun. Everything seemed right with the world when he smiled. It was a smile strong enough to actually make her believe maybe he really wasn't angry with her.

She couldn't help but smile back, not a smile that would light up anyone's room, just a small lift at the sides of her lips, but it was enough. "Are you sure?"

He stared at her for a moment before turning to face the king sized bed, all of a sudden he released her hand and moved towards it, throwing the covers to the end of the bed and then laying himself down on one side. Steve patted the other side of the bed, "come on."

"What are you doing?"

"Proving that there's no threat," he said, shrugging his shoulder and patting the empty space behind him again, "I'll protect you whilst you fall asleep, how does that sound?"

Her eyes turned to slits as she analysed the situation, for a second she was going to say no because there was always a chance that it was a trap which Steve would use to betray her but then she remembered the promise he made when they left SHIELD's headquarters, he'd promised not to betray her. "Sounds nice, actually," she caved in, moving into the empty space beside him and lying down so that she was facing him. "Well, this is comfy," she giggled.

"Shut up and sleep," he said, the statement light and joking, accompanied with an eye roll meant for her giggle.

She nodded her head and closed her eyes, but sleeping with Steve beside her wasn't actually that relaxing, not when all her thoughts were at war with worries that he hated her. After a minute she huffed and opened one eye, "can I ask you something?"

Steve, who had been staring at her and felt quite embarrassed when she caught her, tried to blow off what he'd been doing by nodding his head. "Just one question though."

"Okay," she said in agreement to his terms, "you said you're not angry with me but I don't believe you. My father was always angry when I withheld information or hid something from him and whenever the truth was revealed I would get punished. I can understand you being angry at me, but I can't understand why you'd say you're not angry." She thought it would hurt to be so honest with Steve, but the trust she had for the soldier (even after only knowing him two months) eased any pain that could have been caused.

"I'm telling you I'm not angry because I'm really not angry with you," he said, once again taking a hold of her hand and bringing it up so they're held hands rested on the pillow in between them. Automatically the two casually began to play with each others fingers. "I am angry, but all that anger is directed at Pierce. A long time ago I gave up a lot in order to stop Hydra, but it turns out Pierce - a man I've been working alongside - has been plotting this whole time… and learning that he's the one behind hurting you just added more fuel to the fire."

He described his feelings lightly, refusing to go in depth with just how angry he was because he didn't want to worry Freckles or make her feel any more troubled. But he was angry, more angry than he'd been in a long time and it wasn't a nice feeling. Freckles was damaged, brought up to see herself as only a weapon, brought up to herself as something only meant to destroy and it was all Pierce's fault. He'd truly misjudged the man's character, in the same way he'd misjudged Freckles at first. It had turned out Pierce was the real monster, not her.

Freckles eyebrows creased as he said the last part of his sentence, "why?"

Steve decided to continue in order to clear her evident confusion. "Okay, take the fact that you can't believe I'm not angry at you for example. You can't believe me because you've been taught to think everything you call a mistake will lead to you being punished in some way. That's why I'm angry. You say all you are is a weapon, something meant for destruction, because that's all he's ever taught you but there is _so much_ _more_ to you than that. And I plan on teaching you everything else there is. And we're gonna start off my lessons by ridding you of this view you have on yourself because you truly are more than a weapon, as hard as it may be for you to believe. You saved me and Nat didn't you?"

"I didn't want to see you get hurt," she replied, struggling to find any other reason for why she chose to save them. She'd hoped to find something that would argue against what he was saying but she seemed to only provide further proof. Maybe he was right.

"Yeah, those aren't the words of a monster to me."

Freckles didn't respond, she couldn't think of a good enough argument so she didn't bother speaking. Instead she closed her eyes again, shuffling forward a bit so she could press her forehead against his chest.

Ten more minutes passed and she spoke once again, "Steve?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm scared you might be wrong about me." She confessed, feeling the sleep drop on her like a pile of feathers being dropped onto her body.

He didn't say anything at first, simply breathing which AS09 felt (it was surprisingly relaxing for her and part of the reason why she was suddenly capable of drifting to sleep). "I'm scared too," Steve conceded, slowly bringing up her hand so he could press a gentle kiss on her knuckles, "but fear isn't always meant to make you back down, sometimes it's there to push you forward."

She nodded her head, her cheek brushing against his clothed chest. And then she fell asleep, or as close to sleep as she could manage. Every now and again she'd loom towards consciousness before falling back into rest mood, during one moment of consciousness she felt a brief but powerful pair of lips press down on her forehead, the second time she became conscious she realised Steve had left.

* * *

 **A/N: So, as we draw ever closer to the week of Infinity Wars release I'm hard at work trying to write as many chapters as possible. Today I've had two black coffees because I'm quite literally running on no sleep but I swear I'm gonna get a chapter done today! Hope everyone else's Sunday is going as fun as mine is.**

 **I've also spent most of my week planning chapters, and I was just wondering if anyone had anything they really want to see? If so, tell me, ya never know I might write it in!**

 **To Guest, pffffft whaaaaaat, noooooooo** ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º)

 **To Sam0728, I can neither confirm nor deny your theory**

 **To Unajet, who knows, I might have just thrown that news article in to be a red herring. Maybe she's secretly Steve's sister, wouldn't that be a plot twist. Would certainly make the rest of this story a little awkward.**

 **To kuppcake, oh no! I'm sorry to hear that, if it continues let me know and I'll try figure something out. Like maybe sending you a PM or something? Anyway, I'm glad you've enjoyed all the chapters you missed!**

 **And a big thank you to everyone else that read and commented, I'm over 2,000 reads now which is amazing and I'm just so happy to have you all here!**


	13. Chapter Twelve

**CHAPTER TWELVE**

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" _The world is changed because you are made of ivory and gold. The curves of your lips rewrite history." ―_ _ **Oscar Wilde**_

* * *

Steve returned to find Freckles awake and chewing on the last of Sam's bread, she'd at least gotten an hour of sleep which Steve reluctantly accepted though he made it clear he was going to keep on trying to get her to actually get some proper rest.

They readied everything they'd need for the next mission and made sure everyone understood what the next steps were, then they set off. They split up halfway, Steve going with Natasha and Freckles going with Sam. They walked down the busy streets of Washington and she didn't mind how well she blended in, Nat had taught her that the best way to blend in with normal people is to not try too hard at blending in. She kept that in mind as she walked, focusing on only following Sam's lead and not trampling on anyone's feet.

"Alright, we're here." Sam announced under his breath, using his ear piece in order to tell Steve and Natasha they were where they needed to be. They were still in a pretty busy area which was good, humans were great camouflage. To Freckles' left was a large building, on the outside were white walls which had clearly been maintained as well as numerous flower arrangements that she admired as together with Sam they seated themselves outside. "You want anything to drink?" He asked as they sat on black metal chairs.

"Sure, do they serve anything good here?" She took out the menu, trying to recall the same mannerisms she'd observed other humans act out.

"I have no idea," Sam responded, blinking wide eyed as he inspected the menu, "this place is way too expensive. Orange juice good for you?"

Before she could answer Sam, a waiter came over and asked what they could get the pair, she analysed the menu but didn't really recognise anything that she would normally eat herself and so it was up to Sam to order. Bravely, Freckles decided she would try and do the normal human thing for once, "yes, can we get two glasses of orange juice please?"

"Of course," the waiter nodded, writing down the orders on a little notepad before wandering away inside the building they'd sat outside of.

Once he'd gone she turned to face Sam with a huge grin on her face, the kind of wide smile he would call a 'shit-eating grin'. "What?" The man asked, looking around to see if anything amusing and worthy of such a big smile had happened.

"I just ordered two orange juices," she replied, not able to wipe the smile off her face. In her head she was planning how she would tell Steve all about it, how no one suspected she was actually a weapon made for destruction, how she'd blended in like one of the other patrons.

Sam stared warily at her, choosing not to comment on how weird her behaviour was. Instead he slowly nodded his head, not daring to say anything that would ruin the bizarre gleeful mood she was experiencing.

He'd asked Steve about her past when they went to get his gear and he was given a much better explanation from the fellow soldier. Steve had told Sam about how she'd been kept from a very young age and forced to do and see things no child should have to. Sam was worried that his friend was doing something akin to trying to domesticate a wolf but he didn't say anything, choosing to make up his mind on the girl first.

His interactions with her so far hadn't been horrible, she acted strange but was also quite pleasant to be around. He certainly didn't see anything in her monster-esque but he also had yet to see her actually in action.

The orange juices were dropped off and Sam paid the extravagant cost with his credit card seen as Freckles had no money on her.

Moments later he sat up straighter in his seat, taking AS09's attention away from the straw she'd been playing with. She tried to see where he was looking but they'd ended up sitting where a tree kindly blocked her view, meaning she had to try and gouge what was happening solely through Sam's reactions.

Sam pulled out his mobile phone and brought it up to the ear that he didn't have the earpiece in. "Agent Sitwell," he greeted, "how was lunch? I hear the crab cakes here are delicious… the good looking guy in the sunglasses with the girl dressed in black, your ten o'clock… your other ten o'clock." He raised up his orange juice in the direction of whoever he was speaking to, "there you go."

Her partner then proceeded to recite all the necessary instructions, as expected the man seemed to put up an argument and when Sam responded with: "because that tie looks really expensive, and I'd hate to mess it up," AS09 couldn't help but smirk slightly, knowing that by that point Nat will have gotten her sniper ready and was aiming it at Jasper Sitwell's chest, and just as she'd expected the man caved in after only three seconds. Once Sam hung up the phone he stood from his chair, "let's go."

The next part of their role in the mission was to take Sitwell to where Cap and the Black Widow were waiting to interrogate him and get answers, it should have been pretty simple.

They met Sitwell by the car Sam had told him to go to, and when the bald man spotted Freckles a pervasive smile crawled it's way onto his face. "So you really are working with the enemy now?" He asked, doing nothing to hide the smirk on his face.

Before AS09 could rebuttal with her own snarky comment Sam stood in front of her, taking over the situation before it could escalate. "Get in the car Sitwell, she's not what this is about." Maybe it was the conversation he had with Steve about Freckles that had him feeling protective over her, but Sam just knew he didn't like the idea that the man seemed to already know her from the past that Steve had portrayed as very unkind.

Sam got sat behind the wheel whilst Freckles got into the back with their prisoner, her role was to make sure he didn't try and get away by doing anything stupid like jumping out of the window. He didn't seem like the type to actually do something like that but it was better to be safe than sorry.

She felt uncomfortable placed beside him, he obviously knew a lot about her but she had no idea who he was. The car ride was only meant to be five minutes, but with her sitting in the back with him, he made it feel like hours. She was hyper aware of every glance he made towards her, what she wished she was aware of were the thoughts in his mind.

Sitwell decided to reveal one of them, "Pierce is mad at you." He sounded amused, probably because he knew the mere mention of her father put her on edge. The moment he said the name of her father she wanted to kill him, but Sam was there, and if Sam was there then it was inevitable that Steve would find out. "When he finds you, he's going to send you right back to the pit."

"Shut up," she said through her gritted teeth, Sam kept looking into the rearview mirror to check on them. She noticed that he started looking more often once she started to respond, clearly he was scared she was going to do something but for the first time she wasn't worried that she might do anything.

Steve had been right, all she knew was one way of living and it was time for her to try and learn the new way of life so she was going to do what she thought Steve would do, and that started with not killing the first person that annoyed her.

"What made you change sides though? What could Steve possibly have to offer you, do you know how ungrateful you're acting right now?"

"Hey, dude," Sam spoke up, his agitation becoming clear by both his tone and the way the car seemed to speed up, "you might want to shut up before you make this harder on yourself."

Freckles was grateful to have Sam sticking up for her even though it really wasn't necessary, then she realised that he wasn't actually trying to spare her feelings, he was trying to spare Sitwell's life. She had to remember Sam Wilson was just another person who she had to convince she wasn't a monster, Freckles hadn't even fully convinced herself of that yet.

"Don't worry about it," she said to him, confidence thriving in her tone of voice, "he doesn't realise it yet but he's the one who should be scared." With those words she slowly turned her head to face him, head slanting to the side and a cheshire cat grin filling up the space of her face. It was the best threatening look she had and it was something she'd learnt off her father, it seemed to be effective as Sitwell shut up for good afterward.

They arrived in a car park which is where Steve and Natasha stood waiting, Sam parked the car and together they left the car whilst Sitwell remained inside. He made no move to get out, probably feeling much safer inside the car rather than outside where the super soldier and spy waited.

"Everything go okay?" Steve asked, looking to Freckles to inspect her outward appearance. He was relieved to see what seemed to be a genuine calm appearance, even an emotionless look on her face would have had him worried.

"He wouldn't shut up at first, tried to get inside Freckles head," Sam said.

Sam's reveal forced her to put a calming hand onto Steve's wrist, "but I'm fine and managed to get him to shut up." She made a point of telling the soldier that she was okay, not really understanding why he was so worried but still understanding that he was worried. "Now do your job, me and Sam will be up shortly."

Steve remained still for a moment, deciding whether or not he should stay and make sure she really was okay. He felt that they were at a stage in their relationship where she'd share if she had become compromised, the fact that she revealed Pierce's identity showed that she was dedicated to their mission and that meant he owed her the same. For now they'd just have to concentrate on the mission.

He put his hand over hers and squeezed it gently. Somehow that had become their own way of communicating, it was something neither of them minded. He then turned to Natasha, standing up a little straighter and going into soldier mode. "Let's go," they both walked over to his side of the car.

Natasha was the one to open the door, "hey buddy," she greeted as Steve reached in with his hand and grabbed Sitwell from the seat.

"Let's have a chat." Steve said, giving the man no room to decline the offer as he was pulled out of the car, given no time to land on his feet properly before he was being dragged into the stairway that would lead them to the roof.

Freckles watched them leave and once the door was shut she moved to open the trunk of the car where they were keeping all of Sam's gear. "Need any help getting it on?" She asked, picking up a pair of goggles which seemed to be the least complicated item in the trunk. Gadgets and neat little instruments were never the brunette's thing, rather, she found that simple knives were much more effective.

"Nah," he answered as he made his way over to the trunk, standing beside her and looking down at all his familiar gear. "I got this, I'll just meet you up there."

"Alright, well, good luck then," she took another look at what was in the trunk, trying to guess where everything was meant to go but having no luck. She handed over the goggles, "oh, and thanks for sticking up for me back there, I'm not sure exactly what Steve's told you but you really don't need to worry about me. I'm quite liking being on the good side with him."

"He didn't tell me much," Sam answered, placing the goggles down beside the rest of his stuff, "just that for a long time you've been forced to do a lot of bad stuff by some very bad people. If it's any consolation, I'm on Steve's side as well, I don't think you're all that bad."

She looked down as a smile naturally blossomed on her face because of his words, "thank you, that means a lot."

"Yeah, yeah. Now go kick some ass."

"Yes sir," she said, bowing her head like a good cadet and then turning to go to the staircase. She only managed to make it up ten flights of steps before she had to do a quick rest in order to catch her breath. Freckles was beginning to realise just how out of shape she'd become, she'd been running on very little sleep, very little exercise and very little food. There was only so far her adrenaline could take her. Maybe Steve had been right after all when he'd demanded she get some rest back at Sam's, though she hadn't taken the time to look in a mirror Freckles could guess that her outward appearance showed the wariness her body was feeling loud and clear so it made sense for Steve to notice it before she did.

After a minute of catching her breath she made it up the last fifteen flights before making it to the rooftop, she didn't want to step out and be out of breath for them all to see so she gave herself another shorter break to catch her breath. She made a promise to herself in that moment that when everything was over she was going to spend every day training herself back into the fighting fit physique she once had before her father trapped her in the pit.

She entered the rooftop just as Steve grabbed a hold of a stumbling Sitwell who was about to fall off the roof, they all turned their attention to her and she just nodded in greeting.

Though she may not have been in the same healthy shape as her former self it didn't take long to melt back into the former mentality. The expression on her face was poised, not letting any emotion other than enjoyment slip past; she stood with her hands on her hips, a relaxed position that would allow her to jump into action at any moment. It felt good to go back to being the weapon, the only problem for Freckles was not letting herself get too far into the weapon's realm again. She couldn't kill, that's what she had to remember, _she couldn't kill._

Sitwell turned to face Steve once again, just smiling. Oh, what AS09 would love to do in order to wipe that smile off his face. "Is this little display meant to insinuate that you're gonna throw me off the roof?" He laughed into the Captain's face, and while Steve remained stone faced, AS09's eyebrow twitched slightly. Her hands even began to tingle slightly. "Because it's really not your style, Rogers."

"You're right," Cap said, AS09 beginning to flex out her twitching hands. He began to straighten out Sitwell's suit kindly, "it's not. It's hers."

Both Natasha and Steve turned to face AS09 who was ready and waiting with a knife-pointed grin on her face. She walked forward, eyes locked onto Sitwell's shivering form. "What was it you said earlier?" Her voice didn't sound like her own anymore, it was overflowing with a vicious sort of glee. "That I should be scared of my father, right? Do you remember what I said in response?" She waited for him to recite her words but he didn't, not because he refused to, but because he couldn't physically form the words.

He wasn't a past victim of hers, but he knew of the things she did. He knew about all her training and the tortures she was forced to endure. He knew he should have never said the things he did to her.

"I said that you're the one who should be scared." She twisted her body around swiftly, bringing out her foot so she could shove it brutally into the center of his chest. He released a sharp exhale as he fell, not able to even scream because of the force behind her shove.

Once he was gone she released a happy sigh, feeling quite proud of her badass moment. She returned into a standing position, turning her head so she could look at Steve and send him a quick wink. The soldier responded with a pleased look of his own as well as a rise of colour into his cheeks.

Natasha saw the wink as well as Steve's shy response and released a snort, "so you're not ready for Lillian with the lip piercing, but that's what you're into?"

Steve's eyes widened slightly at her words whilst Freckles eyebrows scrunched together in confusion, "what does that mean?" She asked, earning only a mess of jumbled words from Steve. Thankfully for the soldier their new partner in crime, Falcon, appeared and along with him he brought a gift.

Wilson dropped Jasper Sitwell on the ground, the bald man could only splutter and recover from the harsh beating his lungs had just gotten from what was meant to be his own weapon. Meanwhile Sam landed skillfully onto the roof, his wings folding into themselves to fit into the pack on his back. Sam turned around, the goggles that Freckles had earlier messed around with perched on his face that was completely composed.

The trio began to walk towards Jasper but he sat up and raised an open palm to try and stop them from getting any closer to him, "Zola's algorithm is a program," he said through aching breaths, "for choosing Insight's targets."

"What targets?" Steve asked, getting to the point quickly and not messing around anymore, the blushing man Freckles had witnessed earlier completely gone. Much like how Freckles could switch to being Experiment AS09, Steve could switch to Captain America, a man on a mission.

"You! A TV anchor in Cairo, the Undersecretary of Defense, a high school valedictorian in Iowa city. Bruce Banner, Stephen Strange, anyone who's a threat to Hydra!" He waved his hands madly around, doing his best to avoid any eye contact with AS09. His breathing eventually slowed down and his voice returned to its normal state once again, "now, or in the future." Sitwell looked to the ground, mind acknowledging the fact that he'd just betrayed Hydra.

"The future? How could it know?" Steve asked the question AS09 had been wondering as well, he'd said that Steve would be seen as a threat so wouldn't that include her? Was she an inevitable target for Hydra to take down because of the very power they gave her?

Again Sitwell laughed, all he seemed able to do was laugh because he knew that his life from that point was pretty much over. "How could it not?" He asked back, the answer glaringly obvious to just him, "the 21st century is a digital book. Zola taught Hydra how to read it." Sitwell managed to rise back up to a standing position on shaking legs, trying to somehow show that he was threatening but the only look he seemed to get from his capturers was that of confusion at his words, with a shake of his head at their lack of understanding he moved onto an explanation, "your bank records, medical histories, voting patterns, emails, phone calls, your damn SAT scores. Zola's algorithm evaluates people's past to predict their future."

"And what then?" Steve asked, voice calmer. They all knew what the answer would be but he needed to hear it from the source.

All Jasper did was shake his head though, "oh, my god. Pierce is gonna kill me."

"Get in line," AS09 interrupted, trying to distract him and get the man back on point.

It seemed she wasn't the only one beginning to lose patience with the man as Sam walked forward and grabbed the back of his jacket as Steve marched closer to Sitwell, repeating his earlier question, "what then?!"

"Then the Insight Helicarriers scratch people off the list. A few million at a time." He finally revealed what they already knew and the news left a heavy silence in the air. Even AS09 was able to see how bad an outcome that could be, clearly killing wasn't as great a thing as she'd grown to learn, so it was also clear that the death of millions was a tragedy that had to be stopped.

They had all packed themselves into the grey car that belonged to Sam. Steve was sat in the passenger seat as Sam drove, Natasha and Freckles sat in the back with Sitwell on the left side. Natasha had thankfully sat in the middle which was something Steve had actually requested, after learning exactly what the man had said to the brunette Steve wasn't taking any chances and put Nat there for crowd control.

"Hydra doesn't like leaks." Sitwell said, leaning towards Sam as he spoke the frantic words. He couldn't help but also look at AS09, she was in just as much danger as he was by that point, perhaps more considering what she'd done.

Sam looked into the rearview mirror with a tired expression on his face, "why don't you try sticking a cork in it?"

Natasha leaned forward so she could look at Steve whilst she spoke to him, "Insight's launching in sixteen hours, we're cutting it a little bit close here."

"I know," Steve replied, "we'll use him to bypass the DNA scans and access the Helicarriers directly." It wasn't exactly a great plan and there was a lot of room for improvement but it was the only plan he'd been able to come up with in such a short amount of time.

Nat accepted the plan though, knowing if any problem were to come up they'd just deal with it, they had no other choice really, but Sitwell wasn't so on board. "What?" He asked, "Are you crazy? That is a terrible, terrible idea."

"Steve." Freckles pushed Natasha slightly to the side (forcing Sitwell to be pressed firmly against the door) so she could lean over and speak to him, "something isn't right."

"What's wrong?" He didn't hesitate before asking, turning around in his seat so that he could look over at her and inspect the worried expression she had exposed. She didn't answer though because she had no idea what was actually wrong, she just had a horrible feeling looming over her. It had appeared after their talk with Sitwell, just before they started their road trip to the Triskelion.

A sudden thud on the roof had everyone looking up, no one's attention on the window beside Sitwell until a metal hand broke through the glass and pulled the man from the car. Freckles finally realised why she hadn't been feeling so good. The Winter Soldier had arrived. She'd been expecting him for quite a while - ever since she left with Steve in fact - he was normally the one they'd bring out to punish her, she'd just been wishing that he wouldn't actually appear.

At the very sight of just his familiar hand AS09 had become frozen, she became hyper aware that in her current state she wouldn't be able to fight him, she wouldn't be able to protect her friends either. Thankfully Natasha hadn't been so scared and jumped into action, she moved into the front seat on top of Steve's lap and pulled his head down whilst shoving Sam to the side. Allowing them both to evade two shots the Winter Soldier had fired through the roof.

Steve pulled the brake handle in the car which caused the vehicle to come to a sharp hault, sending the Winter Soldier flying forward but it barely did him any harm. He was back on his feet in a matter of seconds. With their attention captivated by the metal armed man, no one noticed the large car aiming for them until it hit the back of their car harshly, the force causing the car they were in to move forward no matter how hard Sam tried to break.

AS09 got the worst of the hit, her vision started going black and a pain burst in the back of her neck. She didn't know what to do. It was like being back in the pit all over again. She couldn't think of any way to help them get out of the situation, a situation she could only blame herself for.

The Winter Soldier had returned to the roof of their car just as Natasha lost her gun, she frantically searched for it, twisting her arm in an uncomfortable way in order to reach the weapon. Meanwhile the Winter Soldier broke through the glass of the front window and pulled off the steering wheel.

She heard Sam yell out something but she couldn't tell what it was, everything seemed so jumbled, even her own mind felt like it was a wreckage. And the constant jostling of the car didn't help anything. Natasha started shooting again but the Winter Soldier evaded her shots by jumping onto the car behind them.

Freckles forced her focus onto Steve, normally by focusing on him things could become clearer for her but still everything seemed messy and her vision was just becoming more and more blurred. She was going to pass out. But she had to protect him. She had to.

Steve pushed his shield against the door as he grabbed onto Natasha and pulled Sam towards them, he craned his neck to try and see Freckles, "grab on!" He ordered but she made no movement, her body felt too heavy. She just wanted to sleep, but she had to protect Steve.

"Get out of here!" She tried to yell back, though the words came out of her slurred and not as loudly as she could.

"Grab on!" He repeated, becoming more and more frantic.

She could no longer hear his words, just her own thoughts which repeated the words 'save him' over and over again. From her hands a string of white light surfaced, dancing across her finger tips, flowing towards him, a veil moving around him and from there cloaking Natasha and Sam. Using the final bit of energy she had she flicked her wrist, the power enough to break the door of the vehicle open as it began to flip over.

The car hurtled down the road, flipping around, metal folding in on itself and glass beginning to dance around the inside of the vehicle, tearing up anything it could find. All that was left by the end was a uneven ball of metal and glass. Steve looked up, panicked, disoriented, aware of the puddle of red that began to leak out from beneath the car.

They had managed to escape the wreckage, but Freckles hadn't.

* * *

 **A/N: Oops. Looks like I killed her, how awkward.**

 **On the upside, because it's the week Infinity War comes out, as promised, I'm going to publish a chapter every single day. From Monday to Sunday, because idk I'm so hyped about the movie even though I'm not going to be seeing it until a week later. So on the upside, we get to see Freckles funeral tomorrow. RIP Freckles. She's totally dead. I'm totally ending the story like this. Totally.**

 **To Unajet, aye, it's nice to see her develop. Especially for me because I'm so ahead in the writing process I get to revisit where my character was at one point. She's got far to go, but she'll get there, she's a strong one. Except now she's dead so now she's not going anywhere because she is totally dead right now...**

 **To Sam0728, if only someone would have protected the lil assassin.**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, gracias!**

 **And a big thanks to everyone that read the chapter!**


	14. Chapter Thirteen

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

* * *

" _ **No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks." ―**_ _ **Mary Shelley**_

* * *

She tried her best to keep her eyes open, whenever they involuntarily shut themselves (AS09 unable to fight against the invisible weight balancing on her eyelashes) she would be met with the familiar darkness of the pit. A frostiness licked her skin and there was a sickness burdening her from the bottom of her stomach all the way to the back of her throat. Nothing felt right. Nothing felt real.

AS09 swam through the murky waters of her mind to try and find a memory, one that would help her place herself in a time and location. The search seemed futile at first, the only memory she seemed able to grasp onto was that of the pit and the nightmares that would visit her whenever she entered it.

Even when the brunette managed to coerce her eyes open all she received from the triumph was a blurred image, AS09 would try to pivot her head to search her location but her head just seemed to fall to one side and she didn't have enough strength in her body to move it back up.

One thought managed to make it through the leaden waters in her head, like a hand that had reached out and grasped hers. It was the only sure thought among an ocean of uncertainty, "Steve," she managed to gasp out, a feeble call for the one man she knew would save her. He was the only one she actually believed was there for her, she'd never had that before. "Steve." She cried again, tugging onto the hand in her mind and allowing it to pull her out of the murky waters.

With a start she found herself in a clearer world, clarity wasn't as kind as she had hoped though as with it came a train of memories that she did not want. AS09 didn't want the memories for one reason alone: they meant she wasn't with Steve.

Her last waking moments played over in her mind, reminding her of every painstaking moment. The Winter Soldier. Natasha protecting the boys whilst she was useless, freezing at the sight of the soldier her father always used to execute punishments on her. And then the car crash.

The most irritating part was that she couldn't recall if she'd actually managed to get them out of the car. She could remember trying but there was no image of such a thing happening. Sorrow settled in the pit of her stomach, making itself home and refusing to leave until proof was provided that everyone was still alive. She point blank refused to accept the idea that they were dead, they weren't ordinary like all the people she killed, they were special, they were different, to AS09 that meant they couldn't be dead. She didn't want them to be dead.

But she didn't die either, and it didn't take her long to add together her initial unconscious state and the winter soldiers beforehand. It could only equal one thing.

Finally, AS09 managed to pry her eyes open as footsteps could be heard nearing. She examined her surroundings, trying not to let the grogginess get in the way of her fighting instincts.

She was laid on the floor of what seemed to be a bank vault with an IV was stuck into her arm, AS09 guessed it was a formula they'd used on her many times that accelerated the healing process. Though it took her more time than it should have to click onto what the people surrounding her were doing but eventually she noticed the guns that were aimed directly at her head, she didn't flinch though, completely unintimidated by the weapons.

It wasn't at all clear at first why they were targeting her when she'd previously been unconscious, until she looked down at her hands. A black energy licked across her fingers before floating upwards like flames, it seemed to be her powers except for the change of colour and how it covered her entire body, no matter how much she willed it to stop. Even she was stricken with fright at the sight of it, AS09 tried to compose her powers but it wasn't as easy as it usually was. It was like whilst she'd been unconscious the tap to her powers had been turned all the way when normally she'd only ever turn the tap to allow droplets of power free.

"Sir, he's- he's unstable. Erratic. And she… we've never seen this before." A panicked voice was heard from the only entrance into the vault and moments later the voice was followed by the sound of a gate opening.

Her eyes were fixed on the doorway, she knew who was about to enter but she hoped he wouldn't.

When the familiar wrinkled face of her Father charged into the room, the small amount of control she seemed to have on her powers fell apart and the energy seemed to grow, it's movements becoming faster and more erratic. The power overwhelmed her and the lack of control scared her. She needed control. However, it proved difficult to feel any control with her father in front of her and five guns aimed at her head.

The look her father gave her was sharp enough to almost cut through her skin, "I'll deal with you in a moment." He continued walking forward, meaning AS09 had to look between the legs of an agent to observe his next actions. That was when she saw the Winter Soldier. He seemed to be in a situation similar to hers, surrounded by agents with guns pointed at him, only he had the privilege of a chair to sit in.

The sight of _him_ didn't help the inner battle she was having over regaining control of her powers, the very sight of the Winter Soldier had the surrounding black energy lashing out, it cut the drip she was connected to and a tentacle reached the hand of one of the agents, though it only created a minor cut it was enough to get the trigger happy agents shooting. The bullets didn't make it passed her surrounding black energy and thankfully the force didn't stray from defence. The real threat was the Winter Soldier who had jumped into action from the sound of the bullets, he'd knocked one agent out with his metal fist before her father intruded, ordering everyone to stop and instinctively both the assassins froze at their given orders. AS09's surrounding powers didn't seem to calm though, the dancing glowing black fluctuating like a stumbling ballerina in rhythm to her every intruding thought. Every inch of her father and the Winter Soldier brought forth thoughts of dead friends.

"Sit down," Pierce ordered to the Winter Soldier, surprisingly the assassin actually seemed to hesitate before following the orders given. It wasn't until her executioner sat down that she got to then see the expression on his face.

To some they might argue that there was no expression to behold, but she knew his blank expression (seeing it every time he would bring her punishment) and she _saw_ something there. It was because of the way his eyebrows were drawn every so slightly closer together, and how his lips were parted and how he looked off into the distance, not focusing on anything in particular.

"Mission report," her father demanded, earning no response from the troubled soldier. Pierce walked closer and leaned down so he was able to look the assassin in the eye; AS09 knew from experience what was about to happen, no reaction came from her when her father harshly slapped him, the sound of skin attacking skin and a feeble sound of hurt from the soldier passing through her ears like background noise in a movie.

AS09 didn't believe she'd ever be able to conjure up sympathy for the Winter Soldier, even then, when she was seeing him for the first time in her life weakened and broken, hatred perservered over every other emotion in her.

"That man on the bridge," the assassin mumbled as he recovered from Pierce's violence, his voice reminding her of dark room and broken bones. "Who was he?"

A look of concern forced its way onto her father's face, "you met him earlier this week on an assignment." A lie. Both assassins weren't stupid, it was clear from how Pierce had reacted that there was more to the situation.

Once AS09 realised they were talking about Steve her hope rose up and her chaotic powers melted away. For her soldier to have had such an effect on the assassin then that must mean Steve had survived. She'd gotten him out of the car. And the lack of his presence in the vault brought forth hope that he'd gotten away in time.

A sigh passed her chapped lips as relief flooded her body, killing the sadness in her belly and providing her with enough strength to tighten the tap on her powers, reducing the amount that flooded out to become a controllable drip once more. The black waves surrounding her faded completely after only a minute.

Meanwhile the Winter Soldier was still trying to wrap his mind around the numerous memories crashing down in his mind as a result of Steve calling him 'Bucky' when they'd fought on the bridge. "I knew him," he murmured, eyes shining with the copious amount of grief filling him. Grief for what, the Winter Soldier did not know.

Pierce grabbed a hold of a seat and pulled it forward so he could sit himself down in front of the broken assassin, AS09 continued to watch warily from where she was being cornered, knowing after her time with Steve what the truth really was.

"Your work has been a gift to mankind," he'd started, making her snort but everyone seemed to ignore her, "you shaped the century, and I need you to do it one more time. Society is at a tipping point between order and chaos. But, if you don't do your part, I can't do mine, and Hydra can't give the world the freedom it deserves."

"But I knew him," the Winter Soldier responded, already knowing what Pierce had just told him as it had been said many times before, what he really wanted was answers to who that man on the bridge was to him.

AS09 watched as her father frowned, he wasn't happy with how his weapons had started to disobey him. Cold washed down her spine as she recognised the expression on her father's face. It was time for her executioner to pay for his disobedience. "Prep him."

The pain the Winter Soldier felt became clear on his face as he realised what was about to happen, he was going to go through excruciating pain and forget, again. He was going to revert back to being Pierce's puppet and because it was all the assassin knew he didn't have it in him to fight back. AS09 felt a twinkle of sympathy for him in that moment, coming to her own realisation that maybe they were more similar than she'd dared to think.

"He's been out of cryo-freeze too long," a scientist tried to argue.

"Then wipe him and start over," Pierce responded, as though the solution was simple. He began the journey over to AS09 next, "now what about the weapon?" He asked, speaking loud and clear so she would be reminded what she was to him.

"She was unconscious when she got here, then her powers started doing weird shit." One of the agents explained, a hostile tone to his voice as he signalled towards the monster with his gun, she was too busy trying to get on her feet to care what he was saying and what he was flippantly waving around in her direction.

The scientist more suited to explaining about AS09 wandered up behind Pierce whilst she finally got up on her feet (she refused to have her father looking down at her), "whilst she was unconscious her powers started healing her, we had no idea she even had regenerative capabilities. We managed to stick in an IV which would help speed up the healing process but then her powers pushed one of the doctors back and broke three ribs. We couldn't get near her after that."

"Well would you look at that," AS09 laughed, boisterously, right in her father's face, "even when I'm unconscious you can't defeat me."

He gave her a side glance that had fear blistering across her skin in the form of goosebumps but she refused to show it, the past few days she'd spent with Steve had made her realise that there really was a good and evil, and her father was definitely a part of the evil.

"Is this something we should be worried about?" He asked the scientist.

"I'm not sure, as you can see she seems aware unlike the incident in 2012," the scientist wrung his hands, scared over being incapable of giving Pierce a solid answer, "my best guess is that it was a survival instinct. She was unconscious, her body was in a bad state, so her powers took over in order to protect her."

"What happened in 2012?" She asked, but everyone continued to ignore her.

Pierce took a moment to take in the new information provided by the scientist, he looked beyond the guards to examine her. She was sweating and looked worn but her power was no longer radiating off of her which gave him confidence to confront her as he usually did when she displayed bad behaviour.

He passed through the wall of guards and opened his mouth to begin his scorning but she spoke first, "you're not my father."

"What?" Pierce questioned, shocked.

"You are not my father, you did not raise me and you did not create me. You punished me and you tortured me and you made me not want to be alive. All I can remember is the pain you constantly put me through and what's worse is that sometimes I question that, all because there were rare little moments when you'd be kind. But now I know the truth, Alexander Pierce, I know that it wasn't kindness, it was just another form of manipulation that I _did not_ deserve." Words spilled from her lips with vigor, a passion overflowing every syllable said as she released a pain in her heart she'd been harbouring for years, "I'm not a weapon. I'm not a monster. I have the potential to change the world for the better and that starts with stopping your botched up idea of freedom from ever coming to fruition. You're the one who is weak, Alexander, you're the one-"

Her words were forced to come to a halt as he rushed forward and wrapped his hand around her throat. She was forced against the wall that she'd previously been leaning against, looking into his eyes and seeing the same hatred she always saw.

"You shut your dirty mouth," he spat with a guttural growl, flecks of spit attacking her face and making her wince, the once calm and collected Alexander Pierce vanishing and being replaced my a red faced, rampaging, sadist. "How dare you be so ungrateful after everything I've done for you? Don't you see? I'm the only one here for you. Me." His hand tightened around her throat. "Not Steve. Not Natasha. Me. The man who gifted your worthless existence with a purpose, who gave you the powers that have kept you alive."

She felt it like a gluttonous monster pressing down weight on her feeble shoulders, it was doubt. It had come to unwind everything she thought with the same ease found when pulling petals off a flower.

"Everything I did was to make you strong. I gave you abilities and I can just as easily take them away." A sob would have escaped if he hadn't been holding so tightly onto her throat. "Is that what you want? To be weak? To truly be nothing?"

He knew the answer, that's why he bothered to ask the questions. It was AS09's greatest fear, to become as defenceless and weak as she was when placed inside the pit. It was why she'd become so overcome when Steve told her she wasn't allowed to fight until he gave her permission, at the time it felt like he was stopping her from doing the only thing that made her feel strong.

Pierce finally released her throat and she fell to the floor red faced and spluttering, once she'd regained her senses she looked back up to find Alexander holding something very familiar in his hand. "Take the gun," he ordered.

"No," she protested.

"Take. The. Gun." He ordered once more, bending down and grabbing a hold of her hand and forcing her fingers into the appropriate positions even as she continued to scream the word 'no' over and over again to him. She didn't fight him back though, she never could. He aimed the gun for her as well, pointing it at the head of an agent. "Now kill him."

"No," she continued to refuse, the sobs making her words messy. Her hands would have been trembling but Pierce kept a tight hold of them, keeping them straight and pointed at the agent, his finger over hers that were pressing against the trigger.

Even as he spoke once again she continued to repeat the word 'no', letting it become the only thing she thought, letting it drown out every word her father said to her. No. No. No. No. No. No. Bang.

The only thing that got through to her was the obnoxious sound of the gunshot, the sound of blood splattering across the floor, eventually followed by the body falling to the ground. The dead body. Pierce had tightened his finger around hers. And yet all she could think about is how she had done it. She'd killed. And a sickening part of herself was still wired to believe it was a good thing.

Because, after all, that's how it started. When she was younger, frailer, an easy target. She'd been forced to kill in order to save herself and afterwards her father came to her like a warm ray of sunshine breaking through black stormy clouds. He cradled her, promised her she'd done the right thing. Hed patched up her wounds with a gentle touch and supplied her with a hefty meal that had filled her empty stomach delightfully. Soon enough it became a pattern, she would kill and for just a moment the tortures of her life would be put on hold. It was positive reinforcement for the actions he wanted from her and eventually it became positive reinforcement for the actions she wanted to do.

Pierce let go of her hand holding the gun and it dropped defeated at her side. She wasn't sobbing anymore, just breathing in quick bursts. He gripped the sides of her head so he could force it in the direction of the corpse, "look what you did." He was forced to shake her head until she finally focused on the body. "Look at the man you just killed."

Her entire face scrunched up as one last small, defeated, "no," passed her lips.

"Yes," Pierce said, tone falling to a softness that once upon a time would have brought forth from AS09 tears of happiness. Now it was just another stab to her heart. "You just killed him because you're a weapon, revel in that because it is what makes you strong. It's your only reason for being alive."

AS09 gazed at the corpse, feeling the blood of everyone she'd killed like a filthy layer on her skin, and all she could think was that she couldn't be around Steve anymore. He was from a different world, he was high up in the clear blue sky and she was on the cold barren ground, her view of the sky completely covered by grey clouds. Maybe her returning to Pierce was something that just had to be, for him to save her from the desolate earth he'd have to come down to her level in order to reach her, she'd rather Steve be safe and happy in the blue sky, even if that meant she would never be able to join him.

"What are you?" Pierce asked, interrupting AS09's sonder thoughts by caressing her cheeks with his thumbs. Steve had done something similar when they'd kissed, she wasn't sure why but when Steve did it, she didn't feel so rotten.

AS09 looked to her father, whispering the rehearsed words blankly, feeling pathetic on the inside, "a weapon."

"Good girl," he congratulated, leaning in to press a slow kiss on her forehead. The second he released her and stood up she crumpled to the ground, curling in on herself and losing the battle against her emotions which released themselves in cascades.

AS09 broke, loudly. She cried with more force than a gale, and when the wracking sobs did eventually pass, she cried in such a desolate way that no one could bare to listen for too long.

"Prep her," Pierce ordered to the scientist.

The scientist showed more nervousness than Pierce was, "but we don't have enough time to reset her."

' _Reset'_ , it was just another word for torture.

He looked down at her blubbering figure, a smile crawling slowly on his lips, "she'll do it." he responded confidently. Taking his leave then, as he exited through the hallway the smile on his face stretched wider as the scientist began to wipe the Winter Soldier, his pained scream joining with the sound of AS09's weeps.

* * *

 **A/N: As promised, the Infinity War week begins today! And here's the first part of it. This is a pretty important one, I feel like it shows the depths of her psych and how she came to be the way she is. And while it does seem like she's taking ten steps back, just remember that she's starting to realise he's evil now, _she's starting to get morals_. My lil baby is growing up.**

 **To Sam0728, nice guess, well done! I was very tempted to have her end up with Steve here but I just don't think she'd grow to think for herself, she'd be too busy trying to please Steve rather than herself. Does that make sense? I'd explain more but I can't until after the next chapter.**

 **To BigBangVIP, (nice username) IKR I CAN'T WAIT like I'm doing everything I can to avoid spoilers for this, I've deleted my tumblr and facebook apps (so I swear to god if someone on here spoils it I'm gonna rage), I've never been so dedicated to a movie.**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, we can be hyped together!**

 **And a big thanks to everyone that read the chapter!**


	15. Chapter Fourteen

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

" _ **You were born of the stars, dear girl; stop settling for the dust they leave behind." ―**_ _ **Daniel Walsh**_

AS09 had returned to the SHIELD headquarters but not as a prisoner. Dressed in a black pencil skirt and a blue blouse she spent her time silently following Pierce's every movement, which was something he'd ordered her to do because he wasn't willing to take anymore risks with her.

She hadn't been given a debrief before the mission, the agents that prepped her didn't give her any weapons either. Not that it really mattered considering she, herself, was a weapon.

All she knew was that she had to follow her father around, that, and what she'd learnt from her time with Steve about Hydra's weapons that would be going up in the air soon but now that she was back in her father's grasp she wasn't allowed an opinion on that.

Her expression remained consistently blank as she followed her father around and she remained silent, sometimes getting so lost in her own thoughts that she would ignore Pierce as he spoke to her, the only sign of life she'd show would be whenever she tugged at the constraining pencil skirt to which her father would always swat at her hands to cast them away and then tell her off. She'd scowl at him but would take no further action, she'd lost all the fight she had along with her hope of ever reuniting with Steve.

 _It's better off this way_ , she'd tell herself, repeating it over again, using the words to bash against the sadness felt over the loss of the life Steve had made her dream about.

Afternoon came swiftly, time passing by in a flash for AS09 as she spent most of the morning lost in the tumultuous thoughts in her brain. Her father didn't seem as broken as her, he walked with his head held high and a giant smile on his face.

The world Hydra wanted was so close to his grasp, how could he not be happy?

Together with two armed guards they went to the ground floor of the Triskelion where Pierce greeted a group of four people. AS09 couldn't spot anything special about them, she had no idea that they were all the members of the World Security team. All the assassin was able to identify about them was that they were exactly the type of people she'd be sent to kill. The fact that they were rich and in positions of power was as stagnant as a foul smell.

"How was your flight?" Pierce asked smoothly, reminding AS09 of the time Steve had to teach her how to converse with people.

"Lovely," the councilwoman Hawley replied, speaking just as curtly as Pierce had been, "the ride from the airport less so."

"Sadly, SHIELD can't control everything."

"Including Captain America." Councilman Rockwell intervened, his tone of voice scalding which AS09 would have been impressed by was her mind not being distracted by the leap her heart had done at the mention of her soldier's name.

Pierce chose not to respond, deciding that once Hydra's weapons were up in the sky then that would be response enough. A guard met them halfway towards the elevator and handed Pierce a box of pins which he then proceeded to give to the council members. "This facility is biometrically controlled, and these will give you unrestricted access."

After that they all returned to Pierce's office which was on the highest floor of the building, once there, champagne was handed out whilst AS09 stood to the side, waiting for the moment she'd actually become useful. At one point she was approached by councilwoman Hawley who seemed to be analysing the assassins face closely, "are you okay, my dear?"

"Yes." She responded quickly, hoping the short and gruff answer given would send the woman away. When the woman remained in place and continued to stare, AS09 huffed and opened her mouth to speak some very rude words but Pierce began to speak, in response her body instinctively flinched, her mouth clamped shut and her eyes swiftly moved onto his figure. Thankfully it wasn't her he was speaking to.

"I know the road hasn't exactly been smooth, and some of you would have gladly kicked me out of the car along the way." Pierce noticeably side-eyed Rockwell before he turned to the large screen behind him which had on it a countdown. There were only two hours to go. "Finally we're here," he said, voice wistful, he turned back around to the group and raised up his champagne glass, "and the world should be grateful."

 _Grateful_.

A gasp escaped the assassin's throat as realisation hit her with the same force as a speeding train. No one but Hawley noticed the change in her expression as she was the only one able to hear her gasp. AS09 knew what Pierce's secret plan was, to kill all those capable of getting in Hydra's way but she'd never been able to understand the effect it would have until then. Until Pierce used the same word he'd used the previous night on her and countless times before.

Tears nestled into the corner of her eyes as she truly thought about it, _everything,_ for the first time. He was going to put a dog collar around the world's neck just as he had her, he was going to sow strings into their ligaments and pull as much as he pleased, laughing as the world danced as he wished, ignorant of their pain, just like how he was with her. He was going to break them. Bruise them. Bend what they once were into his own creation until all that was left was the humanity Hydra demanded and an unspoken grief for what once was. Just like her.

Her body suddenly became weak, her knees giving way and Hawley was the one to rush to the despondent girl's side, somehow able to hold the assassin up despite being rather old and not especially strong looking.

The sorrow in AS09 turned into rapid waters as she fell deeper into the rabbit hole of realisation.

That's what her killing had been leading towards. She'd used killing as a way to escape the tortures and mask how broken she felt inside. But all she was truly doing was making others into her, she was passing on that pain without a care.

A shaking hand raised up and gripped Hawley's as the elder woman tried to hold onto the falling assassin, AS09 looked up to face her saviour, fear etched onto her expression. "What have I done?" She asked, voice hoarse under the strain her sorrow was pressing against her throat. She wanted to scream.

After collapsing to the ground all attention had been placed on her and as Pierce began to move forward he froze as a voice echoed out of the speakers. "Attention, all SHIELD agents. This is Steve Rogers."

The hand that was holding onto Hawley's arm tightened, causing the old woman to flinch, "lighten up, Freckles, jeez," she whispered.

AS09 looked to Hawley once again, "what did you just call me?" The old woman didn't respond, winking instead and helping the assassin to finally get back onto her feet properly.

"You've heard a lot about me over the last few days, some of you were even ordered to hunt me down. But I think it's time you know the truth. SHIELD is not what we thought it was, it's been taken over by Hydra. Alexander Pierce is their leader." Everyone in the room turned to look at Pierce, most of them surprised by the news but Pierce merely shrugged in response, seemingly unphased. "The STRIKE and Insight crew are Hydra as well. I don't know how many more, but I know they're in the building. They could be standing right next to you. They almost have what they want: absolute control. They shot Nick Fury and it won't end there. If you launch those helicarriers today, Hydra will be able to kill anyone that stands in their way, unless we stop them. I know I'm asking a lot, but the price of freedom is high, it always has been, and it's a price I'm willing to pay. And if I'm the only one, then so be it. But I'm willing to bet I'm not."

AS09 was watching Pierce cautiously, her senses were hyper-aware, waiting to see what his next moves would be and not entirely sure what her own were going to be. But it seemed Steve wasn't completely finished with what he had to say, surprising AS09 with what he continued to say.

"Oh, and Freckles," he said, "if you are here, I'm sorry I couldn't save you from the crash. I hope you make the right choice today." A blush appeared on her cheeks as she realised that everyone was hearing Steve's concerned words as well, little did she know that the peach blossoming in her cheeks and up her neck was matching Steve's.

Rockwell was the first to speak once Steve had finished talking, he looked at Perce in a way AS09 wanted to applaud, like he was nothing more than some shit he'd accidentally stepped in. "You smug son of a bitch," he cursed, bringing the assassin more glee.

It was short lived however as armed Hydra agents filed into the room, "arrest him," one of the councilman ordered, only to have an agent point a gun at his head instead.

"I guess I've got the floor," Pierce then said, truly putting his confidence over their plan on display, not even perturbed by the fact that Captain America had made an appearance.

Meanwhile, AS09 was reacquainting herself with what hope felt like.

"What are you smiling at?" Pierce snapped at her. She didn't even realise he was talking to her at first, she didn't realise she'd been smiling either. Her mouth opened and closed as she tried to think of an appropriate answer, but the only words she could come up with would have made him more angry.

A message appeared on the large screen behind them, the word 'override' flashing in a big red font. Pierce looked over towards it and then calmly proceeded to walk over to the window. He saw them first. Three rising helicarriers. He stood there for a while, quietly marvelling at his hard work.

By the time the helicarriers had risen high enough for the rest of the people in the room to see, the guns had started firing. It took AS09 a total of three seconds to figure out exactly what they were trying to hit at. Sam Wilson.

She tried her hardest to keep her happiness and relief completely hidden, not wanting to cause Pierce to become even more suspicious. It proved challenging though, especially after hearing Steve's supportive words to her.

AS09 wasn't sure how much longer she could lie to Pierce and herself. Whilst on the outside she had mastered a vacant expression, on the inside a war between good and bad was nearing an end. Bodies were scattered across the floor, bloodied and rotting, the last few remaining soldiers were worn, ammunition had run out, food had run out weeks ago, the last two standing were throwing feeble punches in an attempt to win. AS09 was the weapon, she needed to dedicate herself to a side in order for them to win but of course it couldn't just be a simple decision.

On her father's side, there may be pain, a sense of wrong doing, a lifelong label of 'monster' placed on her back, but at least it was familiar.

Again her thoughts turned to Steve and the things he'd said to her. During their last alone conversation together he had told her something she struggled to believe and still did struggle to believe. _You say all you are is a weapon, something meant for destruction, because that's all he's ever taught you but there is so much more to you than that. And I plan on teaching you everything else there is._ It seemed too good to be true, yet Steve had sounded so sure.

But when she then took into consideration her earlier revelation of just what she'd been doing for Hydra, it just added proof to her argument that all she was, was a weapon meant to destroy.

AS09 didn't know what to do, which seemed to have become a recurring thing lately and she wasn't very pleased with it.

After a moment of observing the ongoing fight atop one of his helicarriers, Pierce turned and returned to the group, returning to his own mission. "Let me ask you a question. What if Pakistan marched into Mumbai tomorrow, and you knew that they were going to drag your daughters into a soccer stadium for execution?" He handed councilman Singh another glass of champagne, a faux peace offering. "And you could just stop it with a flick of the switch. Wouldn't you? Wouldn't you all?"

Councilman Singh didn't hesitate to answer, it was clear to everyone in that room who had morals that what Pierce wanted to do was wrong. Singh threw the champagne glass aside, "not if it was your switch."

Pierce processed Singh's decision before laughing, or something akin to a laugh anyway. It was a swift inhale and exhale of air accompanied with an effortless noise which sounded somewhat like half a chuckle. He moved away from Singh momentarily so that he could retrieve a gun from one of his agents, and then on his return to standing in front of the councilman he held out the gun towards AS09, "kill him."

The assassin stared at the gun, the only friend she ever had growing up, but she did not reach out to take it.

"Kill him," her father repeated the order, showing on his face just how frustrated and appalled he had become with her unruly behaviour. "Guess I've just got to do everything myself," he snapped, sneering at her. He acquitted the gun into an appropriate position and turned it onto the councilman.

Before he was able to pull the trigger though Singh was kicked out of the way by Hawley, who then swiftly turned onto Pierce, pushing the hand he had the gun in away as she punched Pierce in the face.

Both AS09 and the agents that were meant to be protecting Pierce were frozen by bafflement. No one had been expecting the old woman to be such a skilled fighter, half the people in the room wouldn't have believed that the woman even had fight in her.

By the time the agents realised Hawley really was mobilising their boss she'd already rid him of his only weapon by harshly twisting his arm. She threw a small disc at one agent, the disc acting as a taser that sent numerous volts through his body, causing the agent to collapse and become a jittering mess on the floor. At another agent Hawley threw the gun she'd stolen from Pierce and whilst the agent was disoriented she quickly attacked him, slapping his ear and kicking him in his weakest spot, nullifying him by forcing him onto the ground as well.

Two more agents moved to attack her, she forced one to hit their head harshly on a table and spun around to fight the next opponent, grabbing their arm as she spun and then elbowing his neck directly on the spine, throwing him to the floor.

Once all the agents were down she made use of one of the guns, aiming it towards Pierce. And then she added in one more surprise, pulling away a layer on her face to reveal the face of Natasha Romanoff. "I'm sorry. Did I step on your moment?"

On one hand AS09 was happy to see Natasha's face (it meant they'd all escaped the car crush) but on the other she was kind of disappointed that it hadn't been the old woman fighting all those agents off like a badass.

"AS09," Pierce called, trying to sound calm, "do as you're told for once. Kill her."

"Looks like I owe Steve some money," Nat spoke nonchalantly, both the assassin and ex-assassin ignoring Pierce's command, "I bet him you were dead. I'm not exactly upset to see you alive though."

"I thought you were dead too, I'm glad you're not. How are Steve and Sam?"

"They're both fine, or they were. They'll be doing a lot of fighting on those helicarriers, they could probably do with another pair of hands."

AS09 understood what she was hinting at, Natasha was giving her the opportunity to leave and reunite with Steve, do to the right thing. It was just like when Steve had given her a chance when she was being held SHIELDs prisoner, the problem was that she didn't really know if she should, a decision had not been made. "I don't know what to do," she finally verbalised her confusion.

Natasha looked at her sympathetically, recalling the time in her life when she was making a similar decision. Back then she'd had Clint Barton paving the path for her, though Natasha hadn't exactly been warm to AS09 at the start she found herself wanting to pass on the same help and guidance she'd once been given herself.

"You ever heard the saying 'light at the end of the tunnel'?" Natasha asked, keeping her eyes on Pierce to make sure he didn't say anything to try and influence her decision, knowing all words that fell from his lips were poison.

AS09 shook her head from side to side. It had become less surprising to Natasha when the assassin didn't know something she'd consider 'common knowledge' after the whole flonce incident so she wasn't all that bothered when she had to explain the meaning. "It basically means that after going through a long period of difficulty, it will end and good things will happen. Well that's never been the case for people like us. I'm guessing right now all you can see are tunnels and no light, right" Again AS09 nodded, following Nat's explanation with ease. "So here's my advice, and make sure you remember it: stop waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel and light that bitch up yourself. Do you get what I mean?"

"Yeah," AS09 mumbled, getting lost in the thoughts in her mind, "I think I do." It wasn't about choosing between good or evil, to kill or not to kill, it wasn't even about choosing between Steve or Pierce. It was about choosing what kind of life she wanted for herself.

AS09 wanted to be happy, truly happy, the same kind of happiness she'd only ever gotten when she and Steve laughed over a joke in the car that Natasha had said wasn't even funny. The same kind of happiness she got whenever Steve would tell her that she was more than a monster, even if she'd also feel fear at such a bold statement. The same happiness she got when hugging Steve, holding Steve's hand, just being near Steve. And the kissing. Oh, the kissing! She wanted to kiss Steve more. AS09 wanted to be alive. She chose to be alive.

And as for her fear, the last wall she was desperately smashing her fists against in hopes one yearning punch would cause it to crumble. All she had to do was remember another thing that Steve had said to her, when he was trying to get her to sleep back at Sam's home. She'd told him he was scared that he was wrong about her, and he'd told her he was scared too. Then he said something quite wise, something that had taught Freckles to never forget that though he looked young he'd lived enough of a life to make him as wise as someone who'd lived five lifetimes. _Fear isn't always meant to make you back down, sometimes it's there to push you forward._

Seeing that his weapon was beginning to mull over what side to choose, Pierce's face grew red with anger. "I am talking!" He yelled, loudly, flecks of venomous spit shooting out of his mouth.

"And I'm not listening!" She roared back, no longer the feeble girl she had once been whenever it came to her father. On that day she was strong, defiant, and not one of Pierces puppets. AS09 charged towards him, grabbing a hold of his face the same way he would to her, two hands pressing swell against his cheeks. "For once you're going to listen to me," she shook his head until his eyes finally snapped to his, "you destroyed me, so now I'm going to destroy everything important to you. Have fun watching your world burn."

AS09 released him and walked away, making her way towards the exit. As she grabbed a gun from one of the fallen agents she spoke to Natasha, "I'm guessing you'll be able to handle yourself here?"

"Of course," Natasha chimed, "it's you I'm worried about."

AS09 snorted, able to recognise that she was just bantering with her. "Oh please, we both know I'm the better fighter between us. I'll be just fine."

"You know I'm gonna hold you to that. Once this is over expect a match."

"I'm looking forward to it." It was their own way of saying 'you better make it out of this alive' without actually saying it; after that AS09 made her exit, promising to herself that it would not be the last time she saw Pierce, and that the next time she did see him she would kill him.

The next step was actually finding a way to get to Steve, as she travelled through the building she continued to look out the window at the helicarriers, only able to spot Sam who was dodging rockets from a quinjet. She knew she'd need to fly to get there and it was just her luck that as she looked down she saw a field of quinjets ready for the taking.

As she continued on her journey she was reminded of the constraining skirt wrapping around her legs, in fact, AS09 became sure that the only reason her Pierce had dressed her in it was to keep her constrained and to stop her from being able to run. But she was done with Pierce's rules, she reminded herself, reaching down with her hands and tearing open the skirt, revealing a lot of leg and part of her plain black underwear but she wasn't as bothered as she should have been.

Once she had a location set in her mind she sprinted off, locating the buildings staircase (because elevators weren't an option for her) and jumping ten steps at a time in order to get to the ground floor faster.

Eventually she made it out just in time to spot the Winter Soldier commandeering his own ship. She didn't stop for air even though all the running had taken its toll on her weakened body.

She watched as the Winter Soldier killed people, not daring to fight him back out of fear. The Winter Soldier was different to her father, he was another puppet and far stronger than she was.

AS09 made it just in time, he had shot down one of the pilots and ripped open the window of the quinjet to sink inside. "Hey!" She cried out through a pained puff of air. The brunette climbed up onto the jet and entered through the same window the Winter Soldier had. She rushed to get herself off his lap and moved to stand behind his chair where she then _finally_ caught her breath. "Pierce told me to come assist you," she said quickly before inhaling more oxygen.

Though he didn't say anything it was clear that he'd accepted her answer as he started up the quinjet, beginning their course for the helicarrier above them. Once they'd landed AS09 recommended they split up, once again the Winter Soldier was silent but he followed what she said. She just hoped that she could find her friends first.

Thankfully the space on top of the helicarrier was empty except for a few barriers and quinjets, other than that it was an open airway. That meant when the Falcon came soaring upwards, dragging Captain America with him, Freckles was able to spot them instantly. As soon as she had her soldier locked in her sight she wasted no time, beginning to run and wave her arms wildly in the air. She didn't know if it was the high altitude they were at or genuine emotion but tears sprung from her eyes without a care, slipping past her face as she sped forward.

What brought her the most joy was the smile she saw growing on Steve's face when he realised it was her, it rose like the sun in a morning, slow at first but once it had taken up what was visible of his face, it's warmth fell directly onto her heart and she marvelled at the sight of it. She'd missed that smile.

He was so close to her, just a few more steps. She promised to hug him, whether he wanted it or not. She vowed to wrap her arms around his shoulders so tightly there would be a possibility of her never letting go.

If only she hadn't been so caught up thinking about smiles and hugs and how tall Steve was and how high she was going to have to jump in order to actually wrap her arms around his shoulders. Maybe then she would have noticed the Winter Soldier marching up towards Steve.

Maybe if Steve hadn't been so caught up thanking the god's that she had survived and marvelling at her tiny figure that was running towards him and the way her hair looked like ravens wings from afar and how even from far away he could still recall where the freckles were on her face and how the ones on her right cheek could connect up into a heart shape. Maybe then he would have had time to react before the Winter Soldier kicked him with enough force to send him flying off of the helicarrier and hurtling towards the ground below.

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 **A/N: I feel like I always end my chapters on cliffhangers recently, it's becoming a bad habit. Oh well, you'll know how this ends if you've seen the movie (which, if you haven't, what are you doing reading this fanfiction?) EXCEPT HE GETS THROWN OFF AT A DIFFERENT POINT SO MAYBE YA BOI ISN'T ALL THAT SAFE AFTER ALL. But I guess you'll find out tomorrow so it isn't that long of a wait.**

 **I've been watching so much anime lately and I feel like it's starting to affect my writing, I'm getting kinda worried. Especially because the anime I've been watching is Fairy Tail which is hella cheesy sometimes.**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, I swear she gets to interact with him again next chapter, just one more days wait!**

 **To Sam0728, exactly, if she'd stayed with Steve then she would have just always been like 'this is good, this is bad' but she wouldn't have felt the difference it would just be things she'd learnt and I don't think that would be enough for AS09, I don't think she would have been able to stop killing and hurting other people unless she came to the realisation that she did in this chapter that what she was doing was wrong and hurting people like she was being hurt.**

 **To BigBangVIP, THE TIDE IS CHANGING! SORT OF! Not gonna lie, AS09 isn't the type to get a happy ending.**

 **And a big thanks to everyone that read the chapter!**


	16. Chapter Fifteen

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

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" _ **Hate. It has caused a lot of problems in this world, but it has not solved one yet" ―**_ _ **Maya Angelou**_

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During one of AS09's first kills when she was more of an amateur she'd been sent to kill a man that she didn't know anything about them. The assassin hadn't questioned why they needed to die, she didn't ask for their name or any background information, she'd hoped by doing so that they'd haunt her dreams less (it didn't work). The most opportune time for her to assassinate the person was when they were wandering down an alleyway.

The man wasn't alone, his arm was interlocked with a woman's. The woman was dressed in a red dress which she was holding up with her other hand so that it didn't get coated in the dirt and grime belonging to the alleyway floor.

AS09 preferred to kill the people up close, that way she knew they were really dead because she could watch the light fade from their eyes, she could fully experience the kill.

She waited until they were further away from the entrance to the alleyway, far enough for people to not notice the couple beneath the shadows of the towering buildings. She appeared from behind a garbage can and raised up her gun, words were useless at that moment, and fired.

It had been the perfect shot. She'd been taught where the bullet would need to hit in order to get a quick kill, what she hadn't expected was for the woman beside him to jump in front of the bullet. It made no sense to her. The woman had the chance to live, AS09 didn't kill anyone other than the mission at that point in time and past experience had taught her that most people who witnessed a murder would simply run. But that woman hadn't.

She'd never been able to understand why the woman had jumped in front of the bullet, ended her life for the man, sullied the dress she'd clearly felt precious towards with not only the grime of the floor but also her own blood. AS09 hadn't been able to understand until she watched as Steve Rogers was pushed off the side of the helicarrier and she found herself running forward and jumping after him.

Steve didn't notice her at first as he was too busy hurtling towards his own death, the noise of the wind and his spinning body disorienting him.

As she fell after him, AS09 placed her arms by her side in order to fly down faster towards him, though her eyes stung from the force of the wind she concentrated solely on him. She noticed the engine below them and tried her hardest to feel the energy around her without her hands; normally she'd use her hands to direct the power but as she fell all she had was her mind. She tried to feel her powers reaching towards Steve, pushing him and carrying him until he landed on top of the engine. And to her surprise it actually worked.

She landed herself - doing so much more easily seen as she didn't have to project her powers - landing a few short steps away from Steve. She blinked and wiped at her sore eyes, and then she took in Steve. He was closer now. Dressed in a blue helmet and a blue suit that looked similar to the old suit he'd worn when he visited her whilst she was in prison, only this one was brighter with the additional colours of red and white. AS09 decided in that moment that she really liked the colour blue.

Steve didn't hesitate as he ran up to her and wrapped his arms around her body, lifting her up slightly so he could place his head in the crook of her neck, nuzzling her shoulder slightly with his nose. Adrenaline was guiding his actions, focusing his mind solely on being near her, as though he would die if he didn't. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and did the same as him. Freckles held on tightly, wishing they could stay that way forever. Together.

The hug didn't last as long as either of them desired. Because of how close she'd been to Steve's ear she could hear Sam's voice crying into his ear comm. "Cap! Cap! Come in, are you okay? I saw Freckles jump after you, is she okay?" The panic in his voice touched her heart and she released Steve so that he could talk to their worried companion.

With one hand he pressed two fingers against his ear comm and spoke, "yeah, I'm fine. So's Freckles." He continued to stare at her, he refused to look away. He was scared he'd blink and find that she was gone from his side again. "We're still on the helicarrier, where are you?"

"I'm grounded," Sam replied, sighing in frustration as he spoke, "the suits down. I'm sorry, Cap."

"It's okay," AS09 yelled, hoping her voice would be picked up by the ear comm as she had been pressed up against Steve. "We've got this." She made sure to look Steve in the eye, saying the words to him as well. Making sure he heard the 'we' part.

"So does this mean you're on our team full time now?" Sam asked, hopeful. He'd made up his mind on the girl the second he found out that she'd sacrificed herself to get them out of the car before thinking about herself, the kind of person who'd do that wasn't a weapon or a monster, they were a hero.

"If you guys will have me," she shrugged her shoulders, suddenly feeling shy over having to ask to become part of the group, she'd hoped that it would just be an unspoken thing. "I've got to warn you though," a serious tone followed her voice, "I'm like fire Steve, you might end up getting burned." She needed him to know that she hadn't pledged to become a good guy, she'd decided to change the way she lived but that didn't necessarily mean she'd become any less of a risk. Steve was the one person on the planet she didn't want to hurt in any way and so he needed to know.

Steve was still smiling though, despite her warning, "I've been frozen for a long time, Freckles, I think it's about time I warmed up."

"This seems like an appropriate time for you two to kiss," Sam chimed in but Steve quickly shook his head, stepping away from Freckles in case she got any ideas as well.

"Maybe after this is all over," he said, trying to laugh out the statement though Sam's words had caused him to feel very awkward. Steve hadn't even started thinking about Freckles being anything more serious than a friend but it became clear that after the crash Sam and Natasha thought he was.

He'd been mournful at first when they were finally in the safety of Fury's warehouse. It was after he'd found out that his old friend was alive and after he'd lost Freckles to Hydra once again. For a few hours he'd just kept to himself, thinking over everything, blaming himself for what happened with Freckles and when Natasha came over to try and console him he had lashed out at her when she'd said that Freckles was dead. He refused to believe that she was. Even if part of himself was telling him how impossible it was for her to have made it out of that car crash alive.

Sam was the one to try to talk to him after Natasha and he'd gone a different route, a surprising route. He talked about how Steve's feelings for Freckles couldn't get in the way of their mission because there were more important things to think about. Obviously he was right, but Steve wasn't sure if Sam had been right about his feelings.

He'd never really thought about it until after Sam left. The very notion of him feeling romantically towards her seemed preposterous at first. Freckles had been the enemy, a psychopath, a monster, when he first found out about her past and the things she'd committed he couldn't stand to even look at her.

But as time passed and they spent time together, it seemed some feelings had progressed. He just wasn't willing to think about them yet, there was a lot he needed to figure out and a lot of the feelings that scared him.

"Sounds like a plan," Freckles chimed in, a coy smile stretching one side of her lips upward. Steve remembered when they first began interacting that smile use to drive him crazy, it still did, just in a different way. "Now, tell me what needs to be done so I can help."

They managed to get back inside the helicarrier through a doorway which was meant for engineers so they could come and fix the engines if there was ever an issue whilst the helicarrier was in the air.

She remained beside Steve as they walked through the dizzying hallways, Steve explaining what the plan was whilst Maria Hill gave them directions through Steve's ear comm. Whilst he was speaking Freckles reached out and grabbed a hold of his hand, it had been far too long since she'd gotten to hold his hand, he looked down to inspect but that was the only reaction he gave.

His explanation started out simple. Once the helicarriers reached three thousand feet they will triangulate with Insight satellites and become fully weaponized, Sam and Steve were in charge of getting what they called 'server blades' into each carrier which would replace Hydra's targeting blades with their own, they had to get the servers into every helicarrier because even one helicarrier left could take out a lot of people. That was simple enough, they just needed to get to the server room which was at the bottom of the ship and switch the servers with the one Steve had.

Once she'd gotten an understanding of the plan, he then moved onto the more complicated stuff. Bucky Barnes, though she knew him as the Winter Soldier. He told her what little he knew, that he'd thought his best friend was dead but the Winter Soldier was definitely his best friend. He told her about how he'd said his friends name, but the Winter Soldier didn't remember it. He told her that he planned to save his best friend as well.

Freckles let go of his hand, "I mean it sort of makes sense for him to not have any memory, I know that Hydra wipe his mind a lot and keep him in cryogenic sleep until he's needed. But… Steve, I don't know if I can help you with him." She felt ashamed, she wished she could just follow Steve's decisions like Natasha had when it came to Steve's decision to let her accompany them. But the Winter Soldier had hurt her so many times, he was always the one to put her in the pit. "I'm sorry."

"Can you tell me why?" Steve asked, trying to be gentle as he approached her like he was approaching an animal that would attack out of fear. "I realised you never talk to me about your past that much, I've guessed most of the things I know about you."

It wasn't something she'd never thought about but Freckles understood just how true what he said was. She never told him about the pit, about the ways Pierce would treat her and about all the times she'd been beaten, starved, humiliated. And she didn't want to tell him, she didn't want him to see how weak she really was. So she shook her head in response, "let's just say I have a lot of bad memories that include your friend."

"Well he's probably going to appear again, and soon. Just leave him to me, okay?" He reached out carefully and grabbed her hand, giving it a squeeze.

She felt a warmth revisit her belly at Steve's concern, even though it might make it a little harder for him he was willing to try and keep her away from the Winter Soldier. "Thank you."

He shrugged his shoulders, beginning to understand his feelings a little more now that he was actually aware of the things he did for her that he didn't do with anyone else. Steve tugged slightly on their hand so they could continue their journey, he wanted the mission to be over because he wanted to be able to explore the newfound feelings he had for the assassin. Maybe they were preposterous, maybe they were a bad idea, maybe that's what made them so exciting.

Their journey came to a crashing halt when they were only mere centimetres away from the servers, there was only one thing standing in their way. The Winter Soldier.

Freckles tried not to freeze, tried not to let her mind be taken over by thoughts of dark rooms and broken bones. Surprisingly Steve protectively moved to stand in front of her, pushing Freckles behind his back.

She wasn't entirely sure who he was protecting though. If perhaps he thought maybe she would kill him because of their earlier conversation, she couldn't say for sure that if the opportunity did arise she wouldn't kill him.

"People are going to die, Buck. I can't let that happen." Steve said, making Freckles realise just how close they must have once been just from the tone of his voice. It was weird for her to think that the Winter Soldier was connected to Steve somehow, that they were once friends. To her, Steve was all sunshine and warmth, whereas the Winter Soldier was just cold, a hard, glacial cold. The Winter Soldier reacted just as she expected, he just stared at Steve, analysing him, waiting for the right moment to attack. "Please don't make me do this." She wondered how long Steve would wait before attacking, she wondered if he would even bother too attack or if the Winter Soldier was just too important to him. Her answer came soon, he put one arm behind his back and held out to her the server blade that they needed to place in the helicarrier.

The moment she had taken the server he threw out his shield, the Winter Soldier had been prepared for the attack though, easily using his vibranium arm to deflect the shield back towards Cap who caught it and attached the shield once again to the magnets on his sleeve. Then they both moved in for the attack. Steve started stepping closer, bringing his shield down whenever Bucky would send out shots from his gun. The one bullet that could have grazed Steve was sent flying away by Freckles who was keeping a watchful eye on her soldier whilst also waiting for the right time to move forward herself.

Eventually Steve was close enough to ram himself into Bucky using his shield, the assassin went flying backwards but easily recovered, not leaving any time for another attack as he took out his knife. He began swiping it too and fro, looking and hoping for any opportunity to slice up his opponent. For the most part, Steve managed to deflect, either ducking out of the way or using his shield.

Bucky managed to get the soldier grounded momentarily by aiming for his legs, kicking harshly at the man's legs so he went down on one knee. He thought he had the upper hand until Steve brought up his shield and knocked the soldier away, disorienting him slightly by hitting him in the ear. Cap turned to check on Freckles who had reached where the targeting servers were and had just pressed the appropriate buttons to bring the servers forth when Bucky returned for an attack.

He swiped with his metal arm and Steve only just managed to slide past it, that was when the Winter Soldier noticed that Freckles had the server and was placing it in. He swiftly moved onto his new target, reaching out with his knife to strike her but Steve intervened once more, grabbing a hold of Bucky's arm and bringing his shield down in order to break the arm, the Winter Soldier thought quickly, catching the shield in his vibranium hand and using the extra strength gifted from the synthetic limb to push the shield away. It became a battle of strengths for a moment until Steve suddenly gave up, causing Bucky to fall forwards, right into Steve's mighty kick that sent him flying backwards and further away from Freckles.

She was just pulling out one of the targeting server blades when Bucky finally caught up to her, slinking past Steve and wrapping his arms around his waist so he could pick up her light body and throw her off the balcony. There wasn't enough time to create a forcefield so her impact on the glass floor beneath caused quite a few ribs of hers to break and it was just her luck that her head bashed against one of the metal scaffoldings, knocking her out instantaneously. Her hand loosened slightly, revealing the chip she still had.

"Freckles!" Steve cried out, not thinking about how open he was making himself as he ran to the edge of the banister, trying to spot AS09's crumpled figure on the ground. A roaring sound came from behind him and he turned just in time to see a charging Bucky, the assassin threw himself at the soldier, causing them both to fall from the balcony. They didn't instantly fall onto the glass like Freckles, they first hit a metal structure that was acting as scaffolding in the middle of the room.

Both the Winter Soldier and Captain America rose back to their feet, charging towards each other at the same time. Once they collided Steve went to kick him, trying to get in the way of his footing and knock the assassin over, Bucky used his vibranium arm to send painful hits to Steve's stomach. Steve tries to hit Bucky in the face, Bucky manages to block the first hit but the second one got through, his head was forced to the side and the assassin tasted blood in his mouth. He gave all his power in his next hit, tossing the Captain aside with his vibranium arm.

Steve moved to slide his way off the metal scaffolding so that he could reach Freckles but Bucky followed, they reunited on the edge of the scaffolding, throwing more punches at one another but that time Steve managed to launch Bucky away from him so that he could then jump down and reach his unconscious companion.

"Hey," he said, breathless from the battle and shaking as his hands pushed against her shoulders. The way her head just lolled to the side like she was a dead body had him becoming frantic, especially when the blood falling from the side of her head was finally revealed. "Don't you dare," he hissed, a familiar dread crashing down inside of him like a torrential wave would onto a city, breaking down all his walls. "Don't you dare!" He repeated.

Freckles eyes snapped open, she felt disoriented and her head ached but she was instantly soothed by the sight of Steve. "What happened, are you okay?"

All Steve could do was laugh, was smile, was take one look at her freckles that he liked so much as though it would be the last time he saw them. "I thought…. Nevermind. How are you feeling?"

"Like I hit my head on something really hard," she replied, daring to bring a hand up and touch the bleeding wound on her head, only to hiss which had Steve reaching out and quickly pulling her hand away. "We need to get back up there, times almost up."

Steve nodded in agreement, letting Freckles keep hold of the server as he helped her to get back on her teeth. She teetered slightly and placed her hands against his chest until she got her balance once again. The moment she got her balance was the same second they heard Steve's shield come hurtling towards them. Steve wrapped his arms around Freckles so that his body was completely covering hers and he allowed the shield to painfully crash into his shoulders, luckily only hitting them and not his spine.

Freckles looked up, seeing that he was in pain and accidentally whimpering at the sight. She felt so helpless, she wanted to fight the Winter Soldier and protect her soldier but the very thought had panic she wasn't use to gnawing at her bones, making them freeze.

Once the shield had dropped to the ground Steve turned, just in time to see the Winter Soldier pulling out a gun. He slammed his foot down on one side of the shield so it flew up and he caught it, using the shield to deflect all the bullets sent their way. Once Steve was sure the clip on the gun was empty he threw his shield, hoping to make some sort of dent in the assassin but Bucky easily deflected the move, resuming his use of his knife as he charged towards Steve.

The blade whipped past Steve as he kept backing away every time the Winter Soldier came close to slicing him with it. Steve caught the hand Bucky was using the knife in, once again aiming to break it but the Winter Soldier used his metal arm to overpower Cap and cause the blade to lodge into his shoulder.

Steve released a pained cry, pulling himself away and against a wall where he pulled out the blade. When he returned to the fight he saw Bucky approaching Freckles, he saw her face, he saw for the first time fear embedded in her expression. She didn't try and hide it, the emotion was just too powerful that time. A protectiveness overcame him and he charged forwards, intervening Bucky just before he reached Freckles.

With just one hand he lifted up Bucky by the throat and he watched for a moment as his friend grasped out towards him, then, before the Winter Soldier could make any further move, he threw the man down onto the glass floor. Steve knew what he had to do.

He fell on top of Bucky, rolling them over so that he was in a choke hold. The Winter Soldier tried to fight back, bringing up his vibranium hand and beginning to pull Cap's arm away. Steve quickly fixed that by pushing the arm down and beneath one of his legs. Moments later, Bucky passed out.

Begrudgingly he pushed his friend to the side and turned back to face Freckles, "are you okay?" He asked again, breathless. She hated how he had to keep asking her.

"Are you?" She asked instead, wondering if it had been painful for him to do that to a friend. She wouldn't have even thought of something like that before her time spent with Steve.

Neither of them could answer the question, neither of them were okay.

"We need to get back up there," he said, voice emotionless as he began to walk forward.

"Give me your hand?"

"What?"

She rolled her eyes at his questioning, trying to lighten the mood with a small smile. "I know how to get us up there quickly, now give me your hand and then do me a favour and shut up."

Because he trusted her he did as she commanded, though he did have a lot of questions. It all became clear as not two seconds later a white light began to encapsulate them and they began to float upwards. "You can fly now?" He gasped, looking around them and recognising the white forcefield from the two times she'd used it to protect him.

"It's not really flying," she mumbled, staring into his eyes and trying to concentrate solely on the blue inside of them, "I'm just using my telekinesis to carry us upward. Now shut up."

He looked back down at her, very impressed but trying to internalise it as not to distract her anymore though he reminded himself to question her later. It was clear he didn't know as much as he thought he did about her powers, what he didn't know was that she didn't know that much either.

"One minute," Maria Hill chimed in Steve's ear and he repeated it to Freckles.

They reached the top and began to charge towards the servers that were ready and waiting for Freckles to do the switch, they were back to only being mere centimetres away when shots were heard. Freckles reacted instantly, using her powers to knock the fired bullet away before it could hit either her and Steve.

He continued to fire two more rounds that she easily pushed away before they could hit her, it was then he changed which direction he was firing at, instead aiming for Steve even though he wasn't the one with the server. She saw him change direction but she didn't realise why until she concentrated on pulling the bullet away from Steve, it was the easiest direction to force the bullet to move to in order for it to miss her soldier. It was also the direction it needed to go in order to hit her.

The bullet hit her in the stomach, pushing its way through her skin and nestling inside of her stomach where it decided to remain. She collapsed on the ground, Steve following her down to the floor in concern. His hands cradled her body so that the fall wasn't too harsh and once they were on the ground he began to press on to the wound, trying to stop the bleeding.

She began to laugh deliriously, "I really do need to stop risking my life for you. This sucks."

"I'll get you out of here, I promise." Steve didn't mean to use the word 'promise' without thinking about it, especially when he knew that for her the word actually meant a lot but in his heart, he truly believed it was what he was going to do. He'd forgotten all about the servers, all he could think about were the countless wounds she'd gotten and how he couldn't do anything to heal them in that moment.

Again, Freckles laughed. Placing her hand on top of his, shaking it so that he'd stop putting pressure on her wound and instead grab the server she was offering him. "We're running out of time, go put it in. Now."

His eyes flickered between her and the server, the memory of the mission bursting through the cloud in his mind. It wasn't far away anymore, they'd done it. He grasped the server tightly, rushing to the servers, not allowing any time for the Winter Soldier to dare interrupt their mission once again. He replaced the target server swiftly, pulling out Hydra's and placing in his own. "Charlie lock," he said, letting everyone know the mission had finally been a success. He then went down to the floor again, falling beside Freckles.

"Okay Cap, get out of there," Maria Hill called out, and as Steve looked outside the windows he could see all the guns on the other helicarriers beginning to aim at one another. Including the ship that they were inside of.

There was only one issue that became more and more clear as he looked at all of Freckles wounds, they wouldn't be able to get out in time.

She seemed to know this too as she shrugged her shoulders at him, smiling, as though everything would be okay. Steve decided he'd just have to share that same hope as well.

"Fire now," he told her and when Maria went to argue, he interrupted, "do it! Do it now!" Freckles assumed that whoever was on the other side of the comms was understanding Steve's orders loud and clear, and the proof came when the sounds of loud gunfire could be heard and the helicarrier that they were in began to shake as explosions rattled its core.

Steve worked swiftly on ripping part of her blouse off so that they could wrap it around her stomach, he hoped it would be enough to stop the blood loss from making her pass out. Their next task was actually getting off the helicarrier and to safety, though it was made difficult as the helicarrier was moments from being completely destroyed.

The building rattled, tossing the pair from side to side, making it hopeless for them to find any sort of footing. Eventually, shots came through the glass walls surrounding them and though Steve had valiantly made sure to cover Freckles body, she still sent out a forcefield, hoping it would stop any of the gunfire from hitting them and causing any more serious damage to their mortal bodies.

Parts of the building began to collapse and from below they heard a pained yell. Steve looked first, then Freckles. What they saw was the Winter Soldier, pinned beneath a part of the building. Freckles didn't stare too long at him, she felt no sympathy seeing the man looking so helpless, it was actually nice to see them switch places for once. What did bring her sympathy was how pained Steve looked, and she was reminded that he was a good person and _good people care_.

"Let's go save him," she whispered, half hoping he wouldn't hear and she could pretend like she wasn't showing the man who had almost killed her on multiple occasions kindness.

He did hear though, Steve looked away from his friend to her, obviously torn between getting her out of the crashing helicarrier and saving his best friend.

She sighed, though she might not want the Winter Soldier to be alive, she did want Steve to be happy and that meant saving him. "Don't worry about me, I can still walk which means I'm doing fine. Let's go save him." It hurt to walk, it hurt to breathe. But she couldn't leave Steve and she knew that in the end Steve would go back for Bucky, so really there was never an actual option of leaving the Winter Soldier to meet his demise.

Blood was already dripping from her nose when they reached Bucky, she'd had to use her powers to get them back onto the lower ground so that they didn't do more damage to their wounds. She wiped it away before Steve could notice anything as he'd instantly rushed over to his friend, stumbling slightly when the ship rocked again. Then together they began to lift up the giant metal structure that was on top of Bucky.

For the most part, she used her powers, exerting past her limit and causing red to blur her vision but she continued on. The moment Bucky had wriggled himself out from under the structure though she collapsed, all energy drained completely from her body. It was like her very soul had gone from her, leaving her lifeless.

"You know me," she heard Steve say, almost aggressively. But she couldn't really see him anymore, just silhouettes and she couldn't really discern the bodies from the debris until she managed to discern Steve and Bucky as the two silhouettes that were rising up.

"No I don't!" Bucky cried, shoving Steve away.

She reached out a hand, wishing that she could help but they were too far away and she had no strength left to give.

"Bucky," Steve desperately said the name, wishing that it would call upon his best friends memories like a siren called sailors to their deaths. "You've known me your whole life," he continued, willing to tell the man his entire life story but knowing they wouldn't actually have the time for that. In response the Winter Soldier lashed out again, throwing his vibranium arm and clocking Steve on the chin, the throw so strong even the Winter Soldier collapsed slightly. "Your name is James Buchanan Barnes," Steve continued, relentless in his efforts.

"SHUT UP!" Bucky roared, not only fighting against the man before him but also the ache inside his brain and the images that were appearing which made no sense at all.

Steve removed his mask, showing his face to his best friend. His lifetime pal that he'd thought was dead. "I'm not going to fight you," he dropped his shield through a hole in the ground, fully submitting himself to his decision. "You're my friend."

Again the Winter Soldier roared, charging towards Steve and pushing the helpless soldier to the floor beside where Freckles had collapsed. Her eyes kept opening and closing as she struggled to stay alert and conscious of what was happening, the fight becoming more urgent when she realised Steve had relinquished his only weapon in the fight.

"You're my mission," the Winter Soldier asserted, not to Steve, but to himself. And then, he raised a fist and brought it down to Steve's face. Again and again. Until the soldier's face was bruised and bloodied. "You're. My. Mission!" He repeated as he punched.

"Then finish it." Steve declared, "cause I'm with you to the end of the line."

"Stop… it…" Freckles uttered the words but they came out so strained they were barely audible, "remember him." She reached out with her hand using what little strength she could muster and placed her hand against Bucky's. She couldn't fight him. She probably couldn't stop him if he went to punch Steve again. But she had to try. She had to believe that maybe within the monster, there was a man. Just like how there had been with her.

As her flesh pressed against his vibranium arm a flash of white light covered all of her vision, it wasn't like before where she was losing consciousness but rather like she was being transported somewhere. When the light did eventually fade she found herself somewhere completely unusual, watching something quite bizarre.

"We looked for you after. My folks wanted to give you a ride to the cemetery." A man who looked strangely like the Winter Soldier only with shorter hair and wearing a suit was walking beside someone that resembled Steve Rogers, though the resemblance was uncanny Freckles couldn't quite say that he was the man she knew because of how small and thin he was compared to her soldier.

"I know," the smaller Steve Rogers said, seemingly in a melancholy mood as he walked up a staircase with his friend beside him. "I just… kind of wanted to be alone."

"How was it?" Bucky asked as they reached the top of the staircase.

"It was okay. She's next to dad." They continued to walk forward, stopping just outside of a door and Steve began to dig his hands into his pockets. Freckles still wasn't quite sure what they were talking about, she still wasn't entirely sure what she was doing there. She figured it must have had something to do with her powers and perhaps she'd gone into one of the Winter Soldier's memories but it made no sense considering the only powers Hydra had given her were telekinesis.

"I was gonna ask…"

"I know what you're gonna say, Buck," smaller Steve Rogers interrupted, continuing to look more and more confused as he searched the other pockets on the inside of his coat.

"We can put the couch cushions on the floor like when we kids. It'll be fun. All you gotta do is shine my shoes, maybe take out the trash." He walked away from smaller Steve and kicked aside a brick on the ground which revealed a key that he picked up and then handed to smaller Steve, "come on."

Though Bucky continued to push in as gentle a manner he could, smaller Steve still refused. "Thank you, Buck, but I can get by on my own."

"The thing is, you don't have to." Bucky reached out with his hand, patting down Steve's shoulder. "I'm with you to the end of the line, pal."

It all became clear then, Freckles really was in a memory that belonged to the Winter Soldier and it stemmed from what Steve had said. The white flash returned, covering all of her vision, the last thing she saw was smaller Steve's face.

Once it faded she was back in the helicarrier that was hurtling towards the ground, back in her weakened state and watching helplessly as a large part of the helicarrier came hurtling towards them. It missed them but it crashed through the floor, causing the glass and metal beneath them to crumble, releasing their bodies.

Perhaps if she had any power left she could have saved herself, though she would have chosen to save Steve. There was nothing left to her though.

Instead, she hurtled to the ground and accepted her fate, choosing instead of being sad that her time with Steve was coming to an untimely end, to be happy. Because before she died she got to meet Steve again and she got to truly live. Mere seconds with that man was worth the lifetime of tortures she went through, and perhaps that was the best thing of all, that before she could die she could finally be free of the thorns her past had left wrapped around her heart.

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 **A/N: SO MUCH ACTION! I HATE WRITING ACTION SCENES, I DON'T THINK I'M ANY GOOD AT THEM, I APOLOGISE! Also, we're very close to the last chapter of Part One, literally the next chapter is the last one! I'm very happy that part one can end on the day that Infinity War comes out. I'll be seeing it Sunday now which just, yes and also no. I promise I won't give any spoilers until I get into the fourth part of this story which will obviously be Infinity War. And I ask that all those commenting don't give away any spoilers either, any comments that are very spoiler-y will be deleted.**

 **To Unajet, it's so weird to think how soon we are to this movie coming out, like years of waiting and now the movie is coming out tomorrow, I still can't believe it. Also, "too bad Nat didn't mention the connection to her" what connection? Have I missed something important?**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, thank you!**

 **To Sam0728, I'm very proud of my lil assassin in this chapter!**


	17. Chapter Sixteen

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN**

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" _ **You have escaped the cage. Your wings are stretched out. Now fly." ―**_ _ **Rumi**_

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It was over. Freckles wasn't sure what that really meant, she wasn't sure she was ready to find out either but there wasn't much she could do to avoid it. When she awoke she found herself in a strange room, though there was something familiar about the smell and the incessant beeping sound beside the bed she was in.

The walls were blue, but not the blue she liked, a cold and barely there blue that was more grey than blue. The door to the room she was in was closed and outside she could see people passing by, that meant she was somewhere public. Somewhere that wasn't her old base, it really was over and she really was free from the tyrant that was Alexander Pierce.

Just as that thought occured she saw a flash of something in the corner of her eye, a familiar face that sent ice through her veins. The beeping noise suddenly became quicker.

"Hey." Freckles head had spun quickly so she could face the person who had spoken softly to her, that caused quite a bit of pain and she was too tired to keep herself from wincing at it. She was somewhat put at ease when she made out the familiar face of Natasha Romanoff, though it was a little unexpected. "You're awake," it became clear from Nat's husky tone that she had also just woken up which Amelia found strange considering she seemed to be sat in an uncomfortable chair at her bedside.

Before saying anything Freckles turned back to the corner, ready to come face to face with what she'd seen and warn Natasha but there was nothing there. "Yeah," she mumbled eventually in response to Nat's statement, her voice coming out much more rasping than Natasha's, "care to explain where I am."

"You're in a hospital, you got yourself beat pretty bad so you needed to have some minor surgeries." Natasha busied herself with pouring two glasses with water from a jug that was on her bedside table, she handed one to Freckles who was already opening her mouth with another question but Natasha stepped in first, saving the brunette from torturing herself by speaking again. "Steve's fine, he's stuck on bed rest just like you but he did sneak in a visit earlier. He said you saved him again, thanks."

The water Freckles ingested felt more like an elixir as it slipped past her sandpaper throat and eased her pain, "well I think that's going to be the last time I do it," she joked and Nat chuckled.

"You do look like a bit of a mess right now," Nat commented, earning an eyebrow raise from Freckles and so the redhead reluctantly corrected herself, "fine, a hot mess."

"I'm not quite sure what the difference is, but thanks." She began to try and raise herself up in her bed, Nat moved to help her but quickly realised she shouldn't and sat back, allowing Freckles to do it herself. She wouldn't have had it any other way and though it ended up taking a little longer she did manage to get herself seated. "Show me the way to Steve's room then," she smiled confidently, smiling through the pain in her side that seemed to be thumping repetitively like a drum beat.

It was lucky that there weren't any doctors in there because they would have immediately argued against her, Natasha knew that after going through two surgeries Freckles really shouldn't have been getting up and walking around but Natasha also knew how much Steve and Freckles meant to each other, she wasn't willing to get in the way of that. She'd already tried that with Steve when he wanted to visit Freckles and it hadn't ended up in her favour.

"There's something I've got to tell you first," Nat chimed as she got up and retrieved Freckles wheelchair from the corner of the room. Though she knew that Freckles would hate being cared for like she was a fragile being who would break just from moving (because she would feel exactly the same way), that didn't mean she was going to just watch Freckles actually break from being a prideful fool. Nat at least left Freckles to slip from the bed to the wheelchair, only helping to make sure her IV wire didn't get in the way. Once Freckles was seated Nat moved to crouch in front of her, a solemn expression appearing on her face which had the brunette feeling wary.

"Is it Steve?" That was the worst thing that first popped into her mind; that maybe something had happened to him and that meant that even though it was over, she wouldn't have him by her side in the new life she was stepping into.

Natasha quickly shook her head, "no, Steve's fine. You can go see him in a minute, I just need to tell you something first."

"Is it something I'm definitely not going to like?"

"I don't think you will," Nat responded. She pushed her hair behind her ears, connecting her eyes momentarily to Freckles before looking back down to the floor. "It's about Pierce. He's dead." She told the news the same way she would rip off a band-aid and she watched Freckles carefully, waiting for the open wound to bleed out but no reaction actually came from the brunette. Her expression melted away into nothing, her eyes straying towards the corner of the room once again but that was the only movement made. Natasha figured it would be okay to continue, to do some damage control, "I figured you would have wanted some sort of revenge, some way to get closure but Fury had to make a call and it was the only option."

Freckles eyes knitted together, a reaction. "I thought Fury was dead?"

"Yeah, apparently it takes a lot more than a trained assassin to take him down." Her lips raised into a halfway smile as she tried to lighten the mood again. Freckles faked a smile of her own, hoping it would move the conversation on from their depressing topic and keep her emotions safely tucked away from the light of day.

Really she didn't know how to feel about what Natasha had told her. There were so many emotions it was hard to pin one down and actually claim it.

"So, are you okay?" Nat asked one last time, but she already knew the answer she'd be given.

"Yeah," Freckles answered, the answer feeling like the only response she could really give to such a question. Like how people always say 'hello' to each other, it was polite and expected. It's what Freckles had come to learn.

Natasha relinquished, standing back up and moving to behind Freckles, beginning to push the wheelchair. They left her hospital room and went left from there, the journey wasn't a long one as Steve was only three rooms down. It still felt like he was too far away for Freckles though, the idea of there being a distance between them caused her to feel uncomfortable. The last time they'd been apart hadn't been so great for her and she didn't want to relive it any time soon.

When they got to Steve's room he wasn't alone either, Sam Wilson had been sat at the captain's bedside. The image she walked in on had her instantly smiling, both Sam and Steve were laughing over something and even though she didn't know the joke their radiant laughs brought her the same kind of happiness a really good joke would. They looked so alive.

Natasha knocked on the door to let the boys know they'd arrived and as soon as Sam saw Freckles he was out of his seat and over to her, embracing her in a hug which she gladly accepted. "Hey," he greeted, merriness and laughter still bubbling in his tone, "how are you feeling?"

"I'm good, what about you?"

"Oh you know," Sam stretched out his arms, flexing out his muscles, "I think I'm going to live."

"Uh-huh," she muttered, rolling her eyes at his behaviour and then finally look over to Steve. He had a few bruises and scratches on his face but they were the only visible wounds she could see, she suspected there was more but there didn't seem to be anything she needed to be immediately worried about.

Behind her Natasha cleared her throat, repeating the action until Sam looked at her and then she pointed towards Steve and Freckles. Sam seemed to coin into whatever she was meaning and he returned to Steve's bedside so he could remove the seat he'd been sat in, making room for Freckles wheelchair which Natasha parked. "Me and Sam are going to go get some coffee," she said, continuing to look between the two that were locked in each others gazes, both assessing the others damage, "do you guys want anything?"

Freckles managed to drag herself away from Steve for a moment to turn to face Natasha, "yes actually, can you get me some food?"

Nat patted her hand on Freckles shoulder as she turned around to walk out of the room, "sure." She spoke quietly, letting the two return to staring at each other. Sam followed swiftly behind, taking one last look at the two who remained quiet as he closed the door.

It took a few more minutes after Natasha and Sam had left for the two to actually speak to one another. They already knew each other were okay, they'd been told, but they needed to make sure with their eyes as well.

Freckles reached out with her hand that wasn't connected to an IV and Steve reciprocated, wrapping his large hand around hers, beginning to rub the back of her hand with his thumb. "So," she sighed, cocking her head to the side as she looked to her bed-bound soldier.

"I'm sorry," Steve quickly slipped out his apology, causing Freckles' serene smile to drop and one perplexed eyebrow of hers to raise. His eyes rose to hers for a moment before dropping back down to their intertwined hands, expecting them to part at any moment. "It's my fault that we're in here, I should have done more to get you of the helicarrier, especially considering the state you were in."

Freckles quickly shook her head from side to side, painfully shuffling to the end of her seat so she could bend down slightly and force him to look into her eyes. Truth was, she hadn't even thought about her condition, all she'd thought about in those last moments on the helicarrier was that she would do anything for Steve because among a world of discernable wrongs and rights, Steve Rogers was the only thing she could believe in.

"Shut up," she said, not knowing how to better put her words, instead simplifying it to a simple 'shut up' because in its simplest form her reaction was that he was wrong, incredibly so, so much that there was no point in him even trying to argue. Thankfully her brutish reply hadn't come across as rude, the lighthearted tone carried by her voice reaching Steve's ears and spelling out for him that she disagreed with his thoughts, that she wouldn't have it any other way.

He chuckled, shoulders lifting and rising, hand always remaining wrapped around hers, exactly where they belonged.

"So," Steve repeated, lips lifting up in the corners as he took in everything. _They were both there_. It wouldn't have seemed possible weeks ago but they were both there, after taking down Hydra together they'd lived and they were both there, the whole world open to them. "You're definitely sticking around then?"

"Seems that way, yeah," she replied, beginning to beam and Steve did the exact same. And for once it wasn't a ray of sunshine through black clouds, their smiles were the entire sun radiating amidst a clear sky.

It wasn't until three days after Freckles woke up that they were able to leave the hospital. Whilst Steve had made a healthy recovery, she wasn't so lucky. For the first two days she'd been wheelchair-bound no matter how much she argued that she could walk fine on her own, just with a slight limp and a lot of pain coming from her ribs. After asking both her doctor and Natasha she learnt that nothing weird had happened with her powers, forcing her to chalk up what happened after the car crash as a one time thing.

Steve entered her room dressed back in normal clothes rather than the horrid hospital clothes she'd been forced into, luckily for her Natasha had brought over some of her own clothing and they were equal enough when it came to height and weight for the clothes to fit. She left the hospital dressed in a white blouse and leggings, finally free of the horrid white walls and the forsaken wheelchair.

"So where are we headed?" Freckles asked from the back of a black car Steve had guided her too.

It felt surreal to actually be free from the hospital walls. She hadn't realised it until she'd actually left, but being in that hospital for four days was like living in another dimension. A dimension where she could only eat certain things and see Steve for only a certain amount of time each day, a dimension where night and day didn't exist and the only real testament to time passing was whenever a doctor would appear to check on her blood pressure.

Steve turned around in the passenger's seat of the car they were in to face her, "we're going to meet someone and get your folder."

His explanation had her mouth falling open, "what?" Though Freckles wasn't surprised to hear the news that she'd be finally receiving her folder, she was surprised over how unprepared she felt to finally be receiving it.

"Hey," Steve interrupted her thoughts, easily recognising from her solemn expression the nerves that were stinging her mind. He reached out for her hand, giving it a squeeze and letting her silently know that he was going to be there for her every step of the way, "you're ready for this." His tone was adamant, not allowing any room for arguments and so Freckles just nodded her head.

They arrived at a cemetery, another new location for Freckles but she at least knew what was within a graveyard. She'd never visited one before because she didn't want to revisit any of the people she'd killed, but as she stood by Steve's side she actually felt ready to face her past, rather than just moving from one kill to another to distract herself.

Sam, Steve and Freckles walked together, making their way to a grey gravestone that read the words 'Col. Nicholas J. Fury'. The brunette stared at the name for a moment, trying to recall who that was as it did ring a small bell in the back of her mind.

"Wait I'm confused," she mused, taking a step closer to the grave and pointing towards it with her hand, "this is pirate guy right? I thought he was alive?"

"I am." From behind them appeared the very pirate she'd been thinking about, but he looked much less pirate-y than she remembered. He'd abandoned the eyepatch and switched them for sunglasses, dressed in a hoodie that had the hood up covering most of his face. Freckles recognised it as the token 'I'm an ordinary human being' outfit herself and Steve also had to wear when they were hiding from both Hydra and SHIELD. Fury came to stand in front of his grave, looking at it for a moment, "so, you've experienced this kind of thing before?"

Steve had a soft smile as he responded, "you get used to it."

Freckles had gotten to learn a lot whilst in the hospital, because there wasn't Hydra hovering over either of their minds Steve and Freckles got to be just a boy and a girl getting to know each other. Though she didn't share much about her own past as it wasn't a great conversation piece, Steve told her a lot about him. How he was born a long time ago, how he became an experiment in order to help fight for the little guys, as well as how he ended up frozen and awoke seventy years later. She also learnt some stories about Bucky, though it still felt slightly uncomfortable to imagine the man as anything other than the Winter Soldier, she enjoyed the smile on Steve's face whenever he shared his fond memories.

Fury turned away from his grave, choosing not to dwell on it and instead going back onto his mission. Even with SHIELD down he still managed to create missions for himself. "We've been data-mining Hydra's files. Looks like a lot of rats didn't go down with the ship." Both Freckles and Fury watched Steve's expression carefully, it was clear the news had disappointed him but Steve didn't look deterred. "I'm headed to Europe tonight, wanted to ask if you'd come."

"There's something I've got to do first," Steve responded.

Fury nodded his head, accepting his answer without any argument, "How about you, Wilson? Could use a man with your abilities."

Sam took one look at Steve and then Freckles before turning to face Fury, "I'm more of a soldier than a spy."

Again Fury accepted the answer, nodding his head. "Freckles?"

The question had surprised everyone, including Freckles herself. Steve who had been stood beside Freckles had turned rigid and she noticed, though SHIELD was the better equal to Hydra Steve still found himself wanting her to stay with him. He could at least keep her safe and teach her the right things if she was by his side. Steve looked at her but when he found her staring at him he looked at the floor, he needed to remind himself that she wasn't his and that he couldn't control her, she'd been under enough control in her life and he didn't want to be another person pulling her strings.

For Freckles the answer was very simple though, she gave it with a shake of her head, not feeling like words were necessary because the answer to it was fairly obvious.

"Alright then." Fury turned back to the grave one last time, taking in the image and hoping he wouldn't have to actually be stuck within it any time soon. He shook everyone's hand with the one of his that wasn't being cradled inside a sling.

"I do have a question for you though," Steve shook Fury's hand and released it as he finished speaking, Fury looked at Steve expectantly but Steve looked away, his eyes moving towards Freckles for only a moment. So fast only Fury caught sight of the look. "Did you know? When you asked me that day to talk to her, did you know?"

Though Steve might have a few choice words about Nick and all the secrets he seemed to keep, he could still acknowledge that the man always seemed to be two steps in front of others, which is what lead him to wondering whether or not Nick had been two steps ahead of him as well. Probably not with what happened with Hydra, but perhaps with what was forming between him and Freckles.

Freckles head turned from Nick to Steve repeatedly as she tried to understand exactly what was being talked about, Steve wasn't showing much emotion as he only had a relaxed expression on his face, giving absolutely nothing away. Fury on the other hand was fighting off a smile, he shrugged his shoulders towards Steve, "I never know. I'm just a really good gambler." His teeth were revealed as he finally stopped fighting off a smile and Steve returned it, happy that Nick had made the gamble though he might not have been entirely pleased when he initially asked for the soldier to try and interrogate AS09. It had all worked out in the end.

"Anybody asks for me, tell them they can find me right here," Fury signalled towards the graveyard with his head, bidding adieu to everyone, and then he walked away just as Natasha appeared.

"You should be honored, that's about as close as he gets to saying thank you." She met them halfway as Steve and Freckles walked towards her, Sam decided he would stay a little further behind so that they could have a more private conversation.

"Not going with him?" Steve asked.

"No."

"Not staying here?"

Natasha felt a little guilty as she looked out over the graveyard, trying to keep a smile on her face to keep her fears hidden away, much like how Freckles would, only the brunette preferred an emotionless expression. "I blew all my covers," she said in hopes it would provide enough explanation, "I need to go figure out a new one."

"That might take a while," Steve replied, meanwhile Freckles was eyeing the folders Natasha was holding, wondering why there were two instead of one and which one of them was hers.

"I'm counting on it," Natasha responded before finally holding up the two folders in front of Steve, she looked to Freckles as she held one of them out, "here you go, as promised." Freckles slowly pushed out her hands before taking the folder into her grasp, wondering how something that contained something so heavy could feel so light. "And that thing you asked for," Natasha said, directing her words to Steve, "I called in a few favors from Kiev." She handed Steve the other file which read 'дело No 17'. Nat looked at Freckles for a moment before leaning closer to Steve, beginning to whisper in his ear, "will you do me a favour? Don't hesitate with her."

Steve's eyebrows scrunched together as Natasha moved away from his ear, his eyes following her movements, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Natasha smirked, easily seeing through the lie. "I'm pretty sure you do." Both of them looked to Freckles who was completely unaware of their conversation, her attention being given solely to the folder she held in her hands tightly, like it would disappear any second. And that's the moment Steve came to realise the full depth of his feelings for her because despite his best efforts he couldn't contain a smile that danced upon his rose tinted lips. Natasha watched with a smile on her own face, enjoying the view of her friend falling in love. She pulled him towards her so she could kiss his cheek, she knew it was time for them to say goodbye. "Be careful, Steve," Nat warned as she walked away, "you might not want to pull on that thread."

Steve looked down at the folder in his hands. It was all about Bucky, filled with information regarding his Winter Soldier transformation.

Once Sam had seen Natasha walk off he chose to join his friends, peering over Steve's shoulder so that he could see the contents of the folder. "You're going after him?" Sam asked, not exactly sounding pleased about the prospect.

"You don't have to come with me," Steve responded, skimming over the details in the folder and feeling a little bit of dread fill the bottom of his belly.

"I know." Sam turned to look at Freckles, noticing how intensely she was staring at the folder in her hands, he patted her shoulder to get her attention, "you going to open that thing?"

She looked to Sam, silent, her mind feeling like a ships wreckage, the folder containing the secret treasure trove being hidden inside. "No," the words came out slowly, a lot of thought having to be put into them, "not here."

Steve closed the folder he was examining to look to Freckles, realising that she'd gotten herself into a state. "Then where?"

By the time Freckles arrived to her desired location the sun was beginning to set. The orange twilight could barely be seen over the rocks that surrounded her, the ruins of what had once been SHIELD's headquarters. It had been where it at all started for her, Freckles saw it as a fitting place for Experiment AS09 to die, because the moment she opened that folder her old identity would be gone.

She was trekking alone, climbing over stone and glass to find the perfect spot. It was found deep at the highest point, a mountain for her to sit on made up of broken pieces. The rock she sat on felt uncomfortable but it would do, her spot provided her with the perfect view of the surrounding destruction. The graveyard of Hydra's work was being illuminated by orange and pink and purple, all the colours melding together in the sky, the moon already becoming visible despite the sun still working on setting.

"This is it," she held up the folder, speaking to her father that she knew was buried somewhere underneath the rubble, "my new life. Though, I suppose it might actually be my old life." She set the folder down, stroking the cover with her hand slowly and then moving her fingers inside so she could begin to open it. But she hesitated, her heartbeat pounding at her rib cage like a bird which knew too much of the wild to settle for the prison. "I've always thought about this moment, the moment when I'd finally be free of you. I planned it so many times, yet I never had the courage to leave. For all my talk, I was just a scared little girl and I hated that more than I hated what you did to me. I still hate it…"

"Don't open the folder then." She heard his voice before she saw him, she couldn't hear his steps but she saw him walk around the debris so he could take a seat beside her, dressed in the same grey suit she'd seen him last wearing. Alexander Pierce. "The best way to overcome fear is to avoid it altogether."

Her hands tightened around the edges of the folder, far too aware of its presence in her lap. "That's what you taught me, but, I think I'm done following your orders now. I think I need to start deciding for myself."

Pierce shrugged his shoulders, leaning forward and clasping his hands together. She watched tensely as he marvelled at the sunset as well, "you say that you're done following my orders, so why am I here?" He cocked his head to the side so that he could look at her, his grey eyes meeting her black eyes, "I don't think you'll really ever be done with me."

"I want to be," Freckles outwardly sighed, trying to exhale some of the burdening emotions she felt ripening in her stomach, soaking her eyes. Her eyes fell downward as she couldn't handle the sight of him anymore. Natasha had told her that Pierce was dead, yet she saw him when she first woke up in the hospital, and in the graveyard as well.

As she attempted to blink away her tears she focused on the folder once more, the key to her new life if she allowed it to be.

"Experiment AS09, that's your name," Pierce reminded her, his hand coming forward and into her view to rub gently on her kneecap. She shivered at the touch, instantly becoming wary of what that hand would do next. Hit her. Strangle her. All the options centred around abuse.

With her own hand, she pushed his claws away, not really feeling the skin beneath her fingertips but it moved away as she commanded. And then, before Pierce could say anything else, before any more doubts and fears could fester and poison her mind, she opened up the folder.

"No it's not," she responded, an unbreakable spirit rolling from her tongue, "my name is Amelia Stark." She looked back up, ready to face Pierce but he was gone, still she knew that it wouldn't be the last time she saw him.

Because she'd been wrong when she woke up in the hospital, she'd been wrong to believe that it was over. For Amelia Stark, it was only just beginning.

* * *

 **A/N: So this is it, the end of part one. ALSO THE DAY INFINITY WAR COMES OUT but yknow lets have a moment of silence because AS09 is dead, rip.**

 **I'm also posting the part two opening thingy so you can check that out and anticipate tomorrow, I'm about halfway through part two rn and it's pretty emotional I'm not gonna lie. A lot of mysteries too.**

 **To Sam0728, I KNOW RIGHT LIKE BUCKY IS MY ORIGINAL BAE SO WRITING AGAINST HIM IS SO HARD FOR ME AND IT'S GOING TO BE EVEN HARDER WHEN I GET TO CIVIL WAR I DON'T KNOW HOW I'M GOING TO COPE I REALLY DO LOVE BUCKY I SWEAR**

 **To BigBangVIP, sames, but because I'm trying to follow the plot sometimes I've got to do the odd action scene. Though, notice how I managed to avoid the battle between Bucky and Steve on the motorway? I pulled the ol' Bilbo Baggins move where the main characters gets knocked out and misses most of the battle.**

 **To kuppcake, I apologise for all the feels, you best prepare yourself for part two though cause it gets extra feely.**


	18. Part Two

**Part Two**

* * *

The truth is this,

Every monster

You have met

Or will ever meet,

Was once a human being

With a soul

That was as soft

And light

As silk.

Someone stole

That silk from their soul

And turned them

Into this.

So when you see

A monster next,

Always remember this.

Do not fear

The thing before you.

Fear the thing that created it instead.

\- ' _The Truth About Monsters', Nikita Gill_

* * *

 **Experiment AS09 was dead and Amelia Stark had taken her place. The only challenge was that she didn't exactly know** _ **who she was**_ **.**

 **As she faces off hyper-intelligent sentient robots, blasts from her past and her newfound morality, Amelia comes to the realisation that the hardest things humans ever really have to face are their own emotions.**


	19. Chapter Seventeen

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN**

* * *

" _ **I share a legacy with the sky. We both know how to carry some unanswered prayers and some unshed tears." ―**_ _ **Noor Unnahar**_

* * *

Though night had fallen, the city of New York didn't sleep. Horns sounded over the mumbles of vivacious chatter, drunkards sang loudly with merriment fuelled by alcohol whilst those tired and desperate to get home used their words as weapons, and rain patted the ground supplying a background rhythm for the city's music. There was so much life to be found among the man-made city of grey's, even though the sky demanded peace.

Silence could be found in some places among the city, one of those being a quant apartment hidden away from the main road. It sat near the centre of the building, all windows showing a view of an alleyway disguised by shadows much like the inside of the apartment itself. All that illuminated the room was the moon in the sky, the stars barely visible due to the light pollution cast by the millions of lights that lit up New York's skyscrapers.

The carpet that was a usual maroon looked purple, the couch that was a deep mahogany disguised as black. It was almost like night time was casting another dimension, changing the way ordinary things were perceived. Still, the apartment looked clean, with walls were filled with pictures of art and personal photos. A fake fireplace was built into one of the walls and set across its mantel were ornaments and more pictures that captured only one person in each frame.

Among the mundane furniture and precious photo's wandered an unwelcome visitor, dressed in a soaked black hoodie and leather jacket with black leggings and hiking boots that matched the hue of the rest of their outfit. Water dripped from their body, soundlessly falling onto the carpeted floor which their shoes shuffled against as the intruder continued to walk around the home.

They moved to the fireplace, picking up the closest photo to them which depicted a child with a wide smile on their face, the kind of innocent and pure grin the person holding the picture was incapable of recognising. They placed the picture down, moving on to examine the rest but their investigations were interrupted as the light in the room turned on, the unnatural light stinging at her eyes momentarily.

"Who are you?" Rebecca Kaplan, the owner of the apartment, had the courage to demand, despite not having a weapon on her and only being dressed in a white silk nightie and a fluffy white dressing gown. The woman hadn't really fought to bring one when she awoke from her slumber, she'd had no idea of the intruder until she got up to go get herself a glass of water to drink. "What do you want?"

The intruder turned around and observed the owner of the apartment, their face still was hidden beneath a hood. "You've forgotten to bring the gun in the top drawer of your bedside table. Do you want to go get it now so you'll be more comfortable?" The question was given from someone with a feminine voice, and for Rebecca, it was a familiar voice but she couldn't come to any conclusions as it had been over a year since she'd conversed with who she suspected the voice to belong to.

Despite the chance the intruder had given her, Rebecca refused to move, worried that it would be some sort of trick. "Remove your hood," she continued to give demands as her hand moved over to a basket near where she was stood that contained umbrellas.

Rebecca was married with three children, but all her children had moved out and her husband was away for the week due to work, she was actually happy that they were out of the apartment at that moment because it meant they weren't in danger, the only issue was that the fifty-year-old was left without anyone to come save her and an umbrella to defend herself in case things got violent. She wasn't a trained fighter but she at least knew how to swing an umbrella around violently, though she'd never done it before, Rebecca was sure she could do it.

Surprisingly the intruder did as she was asked, making sure to only do slow movements as to not scare the shaking elder. She pulled the hood away, revealing olive skin spotted with freckles and black hair that fell in waves to the bottom of her neck. Dark brown eyes connected with earthly green, "I'm going to be a little insulted if you don't remember me," Amelia Stark released a carefree chuckle as she displayed a toothy smile.

"No, I remember you," Rebecca revealed, her hold on the umbrella tightening as she recalled the details of the criminals folder. She'd read it right before doing a psych evaluation on the assassin after SHIELD had captured her, but SHIELD had fallen and she'd never heard about Amelia Stark since then so it was a mystery as to why the brunette had broken into her home.

"Great! But you probably don't know my name because I got it after SHIELD fell, my names Amelia Stark," the brunette marched closer to the doctor and held out her hand, Rebecca still was incapable of having any other reaction but caution though and she just blinked at the offered hand. Amelia released a disgruntled sigh that had Rebecca jumping, "oh come on," she grumbled, "Steve told me this what people do when greeting each other? Did I do something wrong?"

"Yes," Rebecca scoffed as she finally coined onto the fact that Amelia was completely unaware of what she'd just done, "you broke into my home, in the middle of the night, dressed like a robber! What are you doing here?!"

Amelia leaned back as the doctor yelled at her, lifting up the umbrella she'd kept by her side and swinging it so volatile the brunette lifted up her arms just in case she had to defend herself from an accidental hit. "Look, I swear I'm not here to kill or 'rob', I just have a favour to ask."

"Oh well I can't wait to hear this," Rebecca laughed, the switch from anger making her seem practically bipolar. Thankfully she dropped the umbrella back down to her side, leading to Amelia putting down her own arms.

"I need you to be my therapist."

Silence followed what Amelia had said as the doctor took in the words that had been said, but as she thought over them they just became more impossible to her ears. "What?"

Amelia sighed, it had taken more courage than she'd had to initially ask it so when the doctor demanded an explanation a small amount of resentment grew in her chest. Her shoulders fell down slightly as she tried to help the doctor (who she thought would be smart enough to understand at first) comprehend what she'd been saying, "Steve has been telling me for ages that I should get a therapist, but I never really liked the idea. Plus I don't want to meet a new person and try to explain myself to them. And after doing some research I found out what you do is kind of like what a therapist does, in the same field or whatever. So I want you to be my therapist."

Rebecca began to nod her head up and down, beginning to understand the situation a little bit more. She walked forward, moving past Amelia to sit down on one of the couches in her front room, still nodding her head. Once seated comfortably with the umbrella in her lap, she turned to face Amelia whilst holding her head in her hand. She couldn't believe she was going to go through with it but the doctor had been thinking back on the assassin ever since their first encounter, she had been an interesting case from the moment they met but the issue was that the assassin had been sworn to silence. This time around Amelia was seemingly open, and god dammit Rebecca was _so curious_.

"Why the change of heart?" Was the doctor's first question as she finally relinquished. Of course, she was still furious that the assassin had chosen to break into her home in order to request this but considering what she knew from the brunettes file, Rebecca was able to understand why Amelia had chosen to do it. Amelia's eyes rose high at the question, the surprise over the question evident, and then she became shy. Her eyebrows fell, and her eyes cast down to the floor, her feet suddenly very interesting. Rebecca pursed her lips at the actions, "if you don't tell me then there's really no point in you being here. If you really want my help then you have to open up to me."

The brunette's head rose up once again and she cocked it to the side, "is that a yes then?"

Rebecca nodded her head once again, still not quite sure what she was getting herself into but deciding she'd at least give it a go and see where it went. She'd at least go along with it for that night and then once the assassin left her home she'd, first of all, finish sleeping, and then she'd do her best to find out if the assassin really was done with her criminal lifestyle. Rebecca had heard rumours after SHIELD got compromised, things like 'Captain America had run off with a Hydra agent to go get married' or 'Captain America had gotten mind controlled by a Hydra agent', but she'd never looked into it enough to find evidence because they all seemed a tad too dramatic for her taste.

"We'll see how it goes," she began to explain to Amelia, "but there are conditions. We do it here and you never bring any weapons. We _only_ do it on nights when my husband and children are away. And you have to be honest, and open. Okay?"

Practically with a childish glee, she swiftly began to nod her head in excitement, "Okay." She moved over to sit in front of her newfound therapist, throwing her body down onto the sofa opposite, laying down on the plush cushions in the same position she'd observed people do in the countless of videos she'd watched before coming over to Rebecca's home.

Rebecca raised an eyebrow at the way she was laying down but chose not to make any comment, trying her best to treat her home intruder like she would a patient. "So, tell me why you changed your mind and decided you wanted a therapist?"

She swallowed down her fear, it was a type of fear she'd had to become very familiar with over the past year as it rose up every time Steve would ask her about her past, it would dance up from the bottom of her stomach and weave lies that she'd be forced to toss out. The most popular phrase she'd find herself saying whenever her past came up was 'I'm fine'. But not that time, that time she decided to force the truth out of the shadows it felt safe inside, "I'm going to meet my brother tomorrow, and I'm absolutely terrified."

Of course, there was something else, such as the constant appearances her dead father was making, but that was something she'd been trying to face herself for the past year. She didn't feel like her father should become a problem for anyone else.

Rebecca was able to remember what rumours she'd heard about Amelia's past, that Alexander Pierce had been abducted her when she was two years old and brought her up to be a killer through making every second of her life agonising. Of course it was all rumours and she daren't put all her belief onto it just in case there were any blemishes in the story, but she knew there'd be some similarities and from what Amelia had said she could deduce that the girl was indeed taken away from her family for a lifetime. "Can you specify what you're terrified of?"

The question seemed stupid at first, the answer was clearly because she was meeting someone of great importance to her and that would terrify anyone. But that was the simple answer. The more she thought about it the more reasons she could conjure up on why she was terrified. "I'm terrified that I won't be Amelia Stark," she looked to Rebecca who remained silent, giving Amelia room to give more to her explanation, "Amelia Stark was the child kidnapped, she kept up a good fight for a couple of years but I think she died when I made that first kill. From then on I was Experiment AS09 and that's who I remained as for the next twenty-three years until I met Steve. Now I don't know who I am, and that could mean I'm not Amelia either. Anthony, my brother, will be wanting to meet Amelia."

"I see," Rebecca leant backwards in her seat, fidgeting with the umbrella in her hand as she thought. She'd been right, Amelia was an impressive and unique case. "Well, all I can say right now is that you've got to try. To be honest with you I'm kind of surprised that you're only just getting around to meeting your brother, it's been a while, hasn't it? Since you took down Hydra?"

"Well, yeah," Amelia blushed, feeling as though she'd been caught doing something wrong which was strange because she'd been quite open about wanting to wait to Steve, "but I told Steve that I wanted to work on becoming more… human-like, before I meet my brother."

Rebecca rubbed her eyes, beginning to feel her tiredness returning after the shock of finding a stranger in her home began to dissipate. "Are you sure you weren't just trying to avoid meeting him for as long as possible?"

"I don't know." Amelia was already beginning to struggle with what had put her off getting a therapist since Steve suggested talking to someone professional about her feelings: _she's constantly running away from them_. It was exhausting, hiding her feelings all the time and pretending like the negative ones and sometimes even the positive ones weren't festering inside of her. She did it with every person she met, and just because Rebecca had agreed to be her therapist that made absolutely no difference though Amelia hoped it would have.

"Well that's my prognosis," Rebecca released the umbrella and brought her hands up in the air, placing them together by the edges of her fingertips as she continued to stare at Amelia. It reminded her of the first time Rebecca had looked at her, the doctor's gaze was analytical and observant of every movement she made. It felt invasive back then and at that moment Amelia found that it was still very much the same. "You've been running away from getting a therapist, you've been running away from meeting your brother. I'm going to take a guess that you ran away from your abuse through killing."

What she was saying made sense, and Amelia absolutely hated it.

Rebecca noticed the way Amelia began to look away, her lips falling downward from the glowing smile she'd had on her face since the beginning of their exchange. She leaned forward, speaking louder to make sure Amelia at least heard her words. "My advice would be for you to stop running and see where it takes you, you may be surprised. If you prefer seeing AS09 and Amelia Stark as different people, then chose running to be a trait of AS09's."

Rebecca had given her something to think about and that's exactly what Amelia had been wanting, she was impressed really as the assassin had had her doubts about the efficiency of simply _talking_ about her feelings. She supposed it would just be another thing to add to her long list of things Steve had been right about.

Amelia removed herself from the couch and pulled at her leather jacket to get any creases out of it, feeling fulfilled in what wisdom she'd gotten from her therapist. "Well, I suppose it's late, I should let you get back to your sleep. I heard once that if you sleep enough it makes you more beautiful."

"And yet you still chose to come wake me up in the middle of the night," the doctor joked, standing up from her seat as well, leaving the umbrella on the sofa. She didn't press Amelia anymore than she had to, not knowing enough of her patient to know whether it would make her run off, which would be a total opposite to what they wanted to accomplish.

"Yeah, I'm guessing this is one of those things I should be apologising for," she rubbed at the back of her neck, still getting used to the length of her hair that use to be much shorter and less in the way. It was her own sort of way of rebelling against her father seen as her entire life he'd been adamant she have her hair shaved off completely or very short. "So, um, I'm sorry."

"It's fine, just, _please_ , try not to do it again." Try as she might to always be polite, Rebecca was old, she needed her sleep and that was one thing she wouldn't allow anyone to get in the way of.

Amelia gave a quick nod of the head, not promising anything though in case in the future there would be some sort of emergency that occurred in the middle of the night. That seemed to be when most of her dark thoughts occurred. After passively agreeing with Rebecca's request she went on her journey to leave the building and go back home, or at least, to the place she identified as home.

"Wait where are you going?" Rebecca held out a hand, stopping the brunette in her tracks.

Confused, Amelia raised her own hand and pointed at the window, "I'm leaving your apartment?"

"People normally leave through the door," the doctor pointed to behind Amelia at the brown doorway which was the official exit and entrance of her apartment, not the window.

"Oh." She turned around and walked the way Rebecca had told her, but when she tried to pull open the door it wouldn't budge. "It's locked," she looked helplessly at Rebecca as the elder woman walked up behind her and turned something on the door, she then proceeded to put her hand over Amelia's and it opened as she commanded it to. Amelia became flustered when she realised her folly, "I- I, uh, I've never seen that lock before and- yeah, I'm just going to go. Bye." She shuffled out of the door and closed it behind her, hearing the sound of the door being locked behind her.

She took a moment to breathe, to take in what she'd accomplished that night and what had been said. It was certainly something to reflect on and would probably keep her up all night, except, she didn't want to be up all night. She'd learnt how great a good night's sleep can feel. There was only remedy and she knew exactly where to find it.

Though it was a longer walk that was much harder to do when she wasn't moving from rooftop to rooftop, she found the building recognisable for its walls that were falling apart and it's windows that had been boarded over. She'd spent a lot of time staying in places like that as she and Steve tried to find Bucky, though it was mostly Steve looking for him. She was just tagging along on the journey and learning through spending time with him how to behave normally and integrate into society.

"Hey Libra," she greeted one of the barely dressed women that always seemed to be standing outside her home. Steve had told her not to befriend them but he didn't say she couldn't talk to them. She received a quick 'hey boo' in return as she disappeared into the alleyway beside the building.

Once there, she climbed her way onto the fire escape and continued to move upwards until she reached the eighth floor. She stopped outside the window and with the use of her powers she opened the lock on the inside with a flick of her fingers and then she opened it, slowly, trying to make as little noise as she could knowing full well that it would be around three in the morning and she didn't want to disturb the occupant of the apartment.

The window would only ever open half way before getting jammed and so she entered feet first, having to bend in a very uncomfortable manner in order to budge her body inside whilst having the bottom of the window dig painfully into her back. If she had any idea of pop culture she would have felt like she was benefitting a little because it was training her limbo skills, but she didn't, so all she did was a rage in her head at the useless window that caused her to get so uncomfortable.

When she was finally all the way through to the other side she then had to attempt quietly shutting it which was a little harder because she had to unjam it first, which meant shaking it violently until it was freed and then shutting it, the added sound of the lock making her wince so hard her body felt like it was coiling in on itself.

Beside her was a bed and the man inside released a displeased groan at the intrusion, "you've done this for the past three weeks. I got you a room for the reason." The voice was drenched in sleep, Amelia's favourite voice of Steve's. It was so husky it reverberated through her bones and pleased her ears to no end. She saw his silhouette shuffle on the bed, Steve pushing his head further into the pillow he had one arm underneath.

She left the bedroom momentarily to go get changed out of her 'breaking into someone's home' clothes, she grabbed a hold of a t-shirt and shorts she'd left out for herself the previous morning after waking up in Steve's bed, something she'd do every morning because she knew she'd be sleeping at his rather than in the extra room they always rented for her.

"And I've told you for the past three weeks, I can't fall asleep without you there. I also told you this when we were in Washington, the entire time we were in Europe, and I'm probably gonna tell you the exact same thing tomorrow." She re-entered the bedroom, throwing her clothes down on the floor where they made a neat little pile on the floor and then she stood at the end of the bed, "so can I come in?"

With a huff he reached out with his hand and pulled open the covers so she could slip in, his movements were lazily though and it looked like he was just throwing his arm around rather than making meditated movements. "Fine, but this really is the last time."

"Sure," she smiled widely at what he said, knowing full well that what he said held no actual meaning considering if it did then she would have stopped sleeping in his bed at the start of their year of travelling.

Without any hesitation, she crawled her way beside Steve, once she was in position he threw the cover lazily over her body and she fixed it so the most part of her body was covered, knowing full well it wouldn't stay that way because Steve tended to take all the covers in his sleep. It was alright for her though because it gave her an excuse to cuddle up against him and steal his bodies heat.

Amelia got comfortable, turning around so that she was able to face Steve. Her eyes were finally getting used to the dark and she was beginning to see his features with much more ease, admiring his long eyelashes and chiselled jawline. And her absolute most favourite thing of all, his messy hair.

He opened one eye for a moment but tiredness caused him to shut it seconds later, "where were you?"

"Ah, so you were expecting me tonight," the coy statement slipped out from her lips without much thought, something she actually enjoyed. Though it had taken a while she'd become much more carefree with Steve, whilst she might still have issues with talking about her past, she was able to say things that weren't planned and assessed in her mind.

"Shuddup," his attempt at reprimanding her came out mumbled and sloppy, making her sideways smile stretch a little further but thankfully he didn't see, too busy trying to not fall asleep in the middle of a conversation.

But Amelia could see the way he was fighting against the sleep, could hear it in his voice. She brought up one of her hands and pressed it against his cheek, not aware of just how cold it felt against his skin until he winced slightly, rather than swatting it away though he took her hand into his and worked on warming it up himself. "Go to sleep," she said in a hushed voice, avoiding his question and allowing him to keep hold of her hand as they both easily glided their way into the land of dreams.

* * *

 **A/N: PART TWO BEGINS! Also, a lil something for y'all to think about, I just finished writing chapter 24 and MY GOD is that going to need a trigger warning, it's so dark I'm scared of my own mind right now.**

 **To Sam0728, Steve already knew, he'd read everything in the folder the moment the blood tests came back. I had a scene written (this was right when I first started writing the story though, so it's gone now) where Steve's like 'omg you're Tony Stark's sister, omg' but then I realised the folder would a) be good leverage to get AS09 working with them b) add some mystery and c) go more along with his character because he doesn't just outright share important information, he takes it upon himself and decides whether to do so and what effects it would have, much like how he hid what Bucky did from Tony in CW. This would be pretty important information so I don't think Steve would have busted into her prison and been like 'YO HOMIE YOU'RE RELATED TO A BILLIONAIRE, PLAYBOY, BILLIONAIRE, PHILANTHROPIST' right at the beginning. I'm sure he eventually would have decided to tell her but then Nat came up with the idea of using the file as leverage so he had to then go along with that.**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, you'll meet Tony tomorrow and I'm praying I did a good enough job with his character, I'm very very very very nervous about the whole thing. And yeah, I was struggling to choose between Amelia and Artemis but I feel like Maria and Howard would have picked Amelia more than they would have picked Artemis. Maybe Artemis can be her superhero name.**

 **To BigBangVIP, thank you! I gotta give most of the credit to Nikita Gill, her poetry is always profound and beautiful.**

 **AND A BIG THANK YOU TO EVERYONE THAT READ THE CHAPTER! See ya tomorrow.**


	20. Chapter Eighteen

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN**

* * *

" _ **I cannot remember exactly the first time your soul whispered to mine, but I know you woke it. And it has never slept since." ―**_ _ **J.M. Storm**_

* * *

Morning arrived far too soon for Amelia's liking, she could only really blame herself though as she was the one that decided to stay out until three in the morning, thinking it would be a smart decision. She'd always end up waking up whenever Steve left, even though she wasn't conscious her body was somehow aware that he'd left her side and it always stirred her awake.

After noticing that he was gone she reluctantly got up. Just as she'd suspected after he'd woken up he'd moved her pile of clothes into a neater pile all folded up on top of the drawers across from the bed. Despite the feeling of sleep weighing her down she managed a small smile, despite slightly hating how neat and clean he was, she was beginning to like that part of his charm. Even when they were staying in the dingiest of locations, Steve always made an effort to keep things clean and organised.

She showered and cleaned her teeth, dressed, and then made her way over to execute her favourite part of the morning routine. Breakfast.

Breakfast was the easiest meal of the day, cereal and toast was simple enough and delicious which is what made it her favourite meal of the day. And then one day whilst in Europe she discovered pancakes. Delicious, fluffy, mouth-watering pancakes. Since that day she'd been trying her best to make them, the only issue was that Amelia had a horrible habit of ignoring instructions and just doing what she thought would work, which had led to many fails and bouts of food poisoning. But that was the day she was going to get it right.

Confidently she strode into the kitchen and retrieved her personalised cookbook filled to the brim with recipes for meals she planned to master seen as she was free from her father's tyranny and didn't have to spend all her day's training and killing. It had been Steve's idea after realising she'd taken her sweet tooth too far and was only consuming candy for every meal. The next step was to find all the ingredients, she knew they'd have everything because she would always do the grocery shopping with him. And once she had all her equipment and ingredients set out on the kitchen counter she got to work, doing her best to follow the instructions step by step and not deviate for a speedier way to do it.

She'd almost finished creating her own personal mountain of pancakes when Steve returned to the apartment from his morning run. "Hey," he greeted, walking into the bedroom so he could change out of his sweat stained clothes.

"Hello," she chimed, speaking loudly to make sure that he'd be able to hear her even though he was behind a closed door, "did you see Sam this morning?"

"Yeah, he's leaving to go follow a lead on Bucky today so we won't be seeing him for a while." He momentarily disappeared so that he could go shower and not ten minutes later did he appear in the kitchen, changed into jeans and a grey shirt with sleeves he'd rolled up to his elbow. He moved over to sit at the small plastic table which was placed where the front room and the kitchen connected, stretching out his limbs.

Noticing that he'd sat down she eagerly retrieved another plate and threw half her pile of pancakes on top of it, practically skipping her way over to the plastic table and setting it down in front of him. Steve looked from her to the plate in front of him, and despite her glowing face, he pushed the plate away from himself. "No way," Steve refused, "not after last time."

The excitement dropped from her face quickly and her eyebrows knitted together, offended by his swift rejection, "oh come on, this is a good batch."

He laughed, a single snort and a short smile, "I'm sorry but I can't trust you after that last batch you made."

"Look," Amelia huffed, pressing her hands down onto her hips and fixing him underneath her glower, "how was I to know that too much sugar would lead to that…"

"Mess?" Steve supplied.

"I was going to say mistake," again Steve was smiling at her and for once she was finding it quite frustrating. Trying to prove a point, she began to wag her finger in front of his face, "you said everyone makes mistakes, you can't go back on that now."

Steve nodded his head, "yeah, but I said that after you accidentally dyed my clothes pink because you mixed whites with colours. You poisoning me wasn't a mistake, it could have easily been avoided by you using your common sense."

"Well, I've apologised and now I've made a good batch. I followed the instructions perfectly, taking no artistic license." She reached out and pushed the plate closer to him once again, he seemed to lean back slightly as she pushed it closer to him.

Surprisingly, he reached out and grabbed the fork she'd placed on top of the pile and using the edge of the fork he cut out a small square of one of the pancakes, it certainly looked more like a pancake than it had last time. "Fine," he relinquished, dismay laced in his tone but Amelia chose to ignore the fact that he'd assumed the food would damage his insides, "so where were you last night?"

He was playing a secret bargain, he'd eat the food as long as she shared with him the information she'd avoided telling him the previous night. It was a smart move, Amelia would give him that.

She returned to the kitchen and continued with making her pancakes, trying to act casual, trying to convey to Steve that where she was last night wasn't a big deal. "I went and got myself a therapist," she shrugged her shoulders lazily, most of her focus on the pancakes instead of Steve.

"At three in the morning?" He asked, returning what she'd said by placing the piece of pancake into his mouth, delighted to find that it actually tasted like a pancake for once. "Oh wow, you actually did well this time."

"I feel like the fact that you sound so surprised is a little insulting," as she spoke she kept herself busy, moving all the dirty equipment into the sink, turning off the stove, grabbing different condiments for the pancakes and putting them on the table in front of Steve in case he decided the pancakes were worthy enough to eat the rest of. "But yes, at three in the morning, I figured it would be the perfect time."

"Did your new therapist agree?" Amelia didn't respond. She got her own plate of pancakes (that contained far more than Steve's plate) and sat down across from him, beginning to eat her own. It wasn't that she didn't trust him, it was the exact opposite, he was the one she most trusted and she didn't want to lose him because something from her past might be too much for him to handle.

Over the past year that they'd spent together, they barely spoke about her past, half because she'd avoid any mention of what Pierce did to her, and half because it seemed as though Steve was just pretending that all the people she killed didn't exist. If he could pretend like all the kills she did, didn't exist, then she got to pretend that the tortures she endured also didn't exist.

He watched her movements, recognising the vacant expression on her face as a shield, a defence, a cloak. Most of their time spent together was great, up until her past was brought up and for the most part, they could easily avoid it by changing the subject or simply ending a conversation. Sometimes though, Steve would try to lightly press on the matter a little bit more, try and take down a brick or two of the wall she built around herself. This was one of those times. "Did you go because you're meeting your brother today?"

It wasn't too harsh of a question and he said it gently, cautiously. Her emotionless expression was covered by another mask, a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, so forced it looked almost painful. "I'm fine," Amelia wasn't sure when she'd learnt to say those words in order to pass through Steve's questions, but she'd found herself repeating them a lot in the past months. But then she remembered the words her therapist said about not running away anymore, of course, the change wouldn't be instant, she wasn't a new person overnight, but that didn't mean she couldn't start changing. "I'm just a little nervous," it wasn't the whole truth, it was just a small look into the way she was feeling but it was more of a share than she'd given Steve in a while.

The new information had Steve rising up in his seat, leaning forward and bending his head a little so he could look her right in the eye, "which is understandable, but you're ready now. You've come a long way."

"Yeah," she nodded her head, a hollow agreement, "when do we leave?"

"As soon as we finish breakfast."

Normally when Amelia ate she would consume the food quickly, enjoying every single bite she had but that morning she ate much slower, taking a long time to chew even when the food became dust in her mouth. She'd wished she hadn't already showered and dressed herself as that would have provided more time for her to avoid the inevitable meeting.

Steve caught onto what she'd been aiming to do after ten minutes had passed and she still hadn't finished her breakfast, but he tried to be patient, continuing to not push her and instead he just waited. It at least gave him time to make sure that both of their suitcases were packed and ready for the trip they'd make.

After they returned to New York he'd contacted Tony asking if he and 'a friend' could stay over at his until Steve found a more permanent place. They'd been moving between apartments since they started looking for Bucky, staying in hotels would have been risky in case Hydra was also trying to find him so they'd pretty much been living in slums though Amelia had never once complained about it.

Together they'd come to the decision to leave the Bucky hunting to Sam and take a break so Amelia could finally start learning about being Amelia. She'd learnt enough about the culture to pass as a slightly eccentric human, and it was time for her to learn about herself. It was Steve who recommended she finally meet her brother, he'd actually been up for it from the start but Amelia had been repeatedly bringing up the excuse that she wanted to be more Amelia than AS09 when she did meet him. Of course she couldn't use that excuse once she'd agreed she was ready to step into the role of Amelia Stark.

Despite an hour passing since Steve told her when they'd be leaving, when she stepped into the yellow cab it still felt far too soon for her liking.

The only comfort she had was that in the cab Steve held her hand, telling her that he was there for her every step of the way, just as he had been for the past year.

The building they were heading to was in a much more wealthy part of New York, the change becoming apparent as the worn buildings of grey stone transformed into glass mountains that rose up higher than Amelia was able to see inside the confines of her taxi. And eventually, she spotted the building that they were going to, the tower easily identifiable because of the giant 'A' built onto the side of it.

When she exited her taxi she fully took in the size of the building, taking in its size and acknowledging that it was her brother who built it.

"You ready?" Steve came to stand beside her, suitcases in hand. Behind them, the cab drove off and she stared at it longingly, wishing it would have remained for another minute so she could have the chance to turn back. Instead, she was stuck, left with no choice, so she tried her best to do a resolute nod despite the quivers roaming her bones.

Politely she grabbed her suitcase away from his hand, she waited for Steve to take the initiative, trying to act carefree but still feeling like her nerves were written across her face. When he walked forward, she walked forward. The only time she didn't follow him was when he went into the elevator, instead she chose to take the stairs because she still wasn't a big fan of small spaces. Steve hadn't learnt why she hated elevators but he'd witnessed first hand her having a panic attack and it had been painful enough to watch that he'd never forced her into a small space as long as it could be avoided.

"Meet me on the fourty-first floor, okay?" Steve requested, holding his hand so that he could take her suitcase, she showed her agreement with a small nod, beginning to worry Steve with her silence. Amelia moved to walk away and Steve opened his mouth, trying to think of something positive he could say to steel her nerves but the doors shut before he could say anything, leaving her to climb the stairs alone with nothing but her nerves.

Thankfully the numbers for each floor were printed on the wall in big blue numbers against the plain cement walls, and so she focused her mind on counting each floor as she went rather than her nerves.

Only, it seemed Alexander Pierce had other ideas. Appearing every time she stopped on a floor, for the first few she managed to ignore him, giving him only a sparing glance before moving on to her climbing. He was still dressed in the same suit she last saw him in, back at the Triskelion before he died. There were no imperfections she could find on the copy, all his wrinkles were set in the same place and his icy cold stare was still powerful enough to cause a shiver to manifest in her spin. He always had a look of disapproval on his face as well, every time she saw him she felt like she was being scorned.

"Do you really think he'll accept you as his sister?" Pierce asked, voice intruding the silence she was perfectly happy to stay in. One of her hands clenched tightly, the only sign that she'd heard him. "You're nothing but a weapon, and when he finds that out he won't even go near you, let alone accept you as his family."

She had passed the halfway point. She was so close to being back with Steve where she could pretend Pierce wasn't there speaking malice to her. She just needed to hold on until that point. "Ignore me all you want, but that doesn't mean what I say is any less true. You're a monster, Experiment, that's all you'll ever be. You have been for twenty-five years, you don't get to just change a lifetime of that in a year."

"Well I have!" She denied, the words bursting from her lips without much thought. She turned around on the stairs, turning to face him but he'd disappeared.

The lack of his presence filled her with confidence that she'd actually cast him out, but it had never really been that easy. From behind her on the floor above, the thirty-eighth, she heard a snort. A loud, shrewd, puff of nasally air that hurt as much as a splinter, though tiny and meaningless it was irritating and still painful. "Oh, I'm sorry," his apology was clearly false as giggles rumbled his speech, "you're just so blind. It's pathetic."

Her eyes turned to slits as she cast a glare to him, keeping it there as she passed him and made her way up another set of stairs. Try as she might to hate him and diminish everything he said to her, a part of her considered what he said as truth. It was an automatic reaction she'd never been able to rid herself of.

Three more stair cases later she'd reached the doorway to the floor Steve had told her to go to, through a small window she could actually see her soldier standing. His back was turned to the door, but she could tell how rigid his shoulders were underneath his shirt. He was nervous too. The sentiment had a small smile breaking through her nerves. In front of him stood a man in a black suit, his face was barely visible as Steve's body covered most of her view, she could, however, see his hair, the colour the exact same shade as her own hair.

"Don't go," Pierce ordered, appearing beside the door with his arms crossed over his chest, "once you go through that door you're throwing away everything we worked towards. You can still turn back right now, still return to being AS09."

She steeled herself once again, fixing her gaze on Steve and thinking about all the times he was there for her and helped her through things. She got through defying her father, and she'd just have to try and get through the next challenge, and as long as she had Steve by her side she'd be able to do so, right? "I've been done being your monster for a while now." There were only two places for her to go at that point, she could stay and face Pierce, or she could face her brother. She chose the latter option and prayed it would end up being the right one.

Steve turned to face the door the moment he heard it open, a look of thankfulness crossing his expression. Amelia joined his side, getting her first look at the man in front of Steve. He obviously took good care of himself, his hair was carelessly pushed back and though it looked effortless at the same time it was obviously a purposeful style. The hair on his face also looked groomed and maintained. Amelia hated that the first thought that when through her head when she saw him was that he looked like the exact type of man she'd be sent to kill.

"Stark," Steve said to the man, Amelia identified it as his last name which meant he really was her brother. She felt so different to who he was, so much messier both in appearance and her inner spirit. Steve's hand rested on her back and she couldn't help but muse that perhaps he'd put it there to stop her from running away; she waited impatiently for him to make the introduction, trying not to make any calculations on how things would go as she could end up stressing herself for no reason. "There's something I have to tell you and I need you to have an open mind when I do."

How does someone tell a person that their dead sibling was actually alive and standing in front of them? That's what Steve was wondering at that moment, not quite sure how he was going to execute the introduction but working through it.

"Oh, let me guess first," Tony demanded, placing his hand against his chin in mock thoughtfulness, when Steve didn't interrupt (deciding he'd let Tony get out all his childish remarks before breaking the life changing news) he skimmed the girl beside him and it seemed the girl was doing the exact same to him. She looked nervous but like she was trying to hide it, she'd been doing quite well until Tony spotted the way she was clenching her hands so tightly her olive knuckles were turning pale. Once he came to a conclusion he dramatically through his hand up in the air, as though to say 'eureka!', "you've finally got yourself a girlfriend! No offence Steve, I'm glad you're finally getting back into action, but that wasn't really worth me skipping a meal with my own girlfriend."

"No, Tony," the use of his first name being said in such a sombre tone had Tony's theory faltering and so he waited for the soldier to correct him, one perplexed eyebrow raised. Steve looked at Amelia first, but the brunette's gaze was locked on Tony, ready to observe how he reacted so she could figure out what her next steps would be. "You know how SHIELD fell because of Hydra?" Tony nodded, beginning to look impatient as the soldier continued to fill his ears with what he deemed useless information because he already knew all of what occured between SHIELD and Hydra the previous year, or so he thought he did. "Well this is someone who helped us, she was kidnapped by Hydra when she was really young and trained to become one of their assassins. But she changed sides and helped us instead, I swear she's completely done with Hydra now."

"Okay…" Tony didn't seem to catch on and Steve didn't want to just blurt out 'she's your sister', he felt like the situation called for a little bit more care than that.

"Tony-"

"Steve," the genius quipped, smirking slightly when he saw the soldier's nostrils flare slightly.

"She was kidnapped twenty-four years ago when she was two years old, in 1991." He'd hoped that the information would connect some dots for the billionaire. The moment Steve provided the year he could see behind the sunglasses Tony was wearing that his eyes had widened. His eyes fell back onto the girl, an impossible thought appearing in his mind that he instinctively shunned. _She can't be_ , Tony thought to himself, refusing the comparisons his mind was making to his lost sister and the woman standing in front of him. It felt much easier to deny her, he found, but Steve just wouldn't let him. "She's your sister Tony."

His serious expression broke apart, a wide smile breaking open his lips and causing raven's feet to crease beside his eyes. For a moment Amelia saw the expression as something positive: happiness, acceptance, joy. And then Tony spoke, "no, she's not."

"Tony, she is. I've brought a folder which includes a blood test. She's Howard's daughter and your sister." Steve spoke with a resilient tone, assurance laced in every word. The soldier had been expecting a little disbelief, but he was prepared for Tony's following actions.

Tony was quick to argue, stepping forward so he was at a challenging distance in front of the soldier, "SHIELD lie all the time. That is not my sister," he pointed an accusing finger, Amelia merely accepting his words silently and doing nothing to fight off his assertion. Steve seemed to actually care more than she did. "My sister, Amelia Stark, is _dead_." He spat the last word harshly, hissing it out between his gritted teeth.

For the most part Steve was managing to remain calm, able to overlook Tony's abrasive behaviour due to the sympathy he felt towards his friend. Sometimes they'd butt heads, but this was not one of those times. "Tony," he repeated his name again, gentle words, "if you don't trust SHIELD then fine, but you trust me and _I'm_ telling you, she's Amelia Stark."

Tony was portraying only a hostile nature, but if one was to see past his sunglasses they might have been able to notice the tears battling his resilience and the hopeless glimmer in his pupils. For a moment Tony just stared at the girl beside Steve, wondering if perhaps what his friend was saying was true, but then he remembered all the years he'd spent looking for his little sister until he had no choice but to give up and accept she was gone, for good. If he hadn't of done that then he would have ended up as dead as she was. _Is_ , he corrected himself.

And yet, when he looked into her eyes, they reminded him so much of the eyes of his baby sister. He'd looked into those same eyes the day his mother brought her home from the hospital, his father was off at work and his mother was exhausted so he said he'd take care of the baby whilst she slept. At first all the baby did was cry and thankfully they lived in a big enough house that the noise didn't disturb his mum.

The crying had seemed neverending, so torturous it broke through his 'I'm cool' facade he'd formed during his teenage years and he started making weird faces and singing to her. Eventually she stopped and when Tony sat in a rocking chair with her in his arms, he looked down and got trapped in her big, beautiful, pools of ink. She fell asleep in his arms but he didn't instantly put her in the crib, instead, he cherished the feeling of having his newborn little sister in his arms. He never did that again though, and it became one his biggest regrets after the car crash and his sister's disappearance.

"Jarvis!" He called out, causing Amelia - who had been too concerned with analysing - to jump slightly. Normally Tony would have laughed at the reaction, but that time there were more pressing matters on his mind.

"Yes, sir?" A voice appeared out of nowhere and no matter where Amelia looked she wasn't able to find who the voice belonged to.

"Set up the lab, we're going to do some blood tests. And show Steve to his room." He wanted to be away from the soldier to give Amelia a chance to speak for herself, plus he was starting to get impatient towards his friend. The battle between Hydra and SHIELD had been a year ago, and yet this was the first time Tony was hearing about the girl beside him. He walked over to the elevator that was to the right of where they stood and it 'ding'd open, "do you mind?" The question was directed towards Amelia and she felt like she was being put underneath a spotlight as all the attention turned to her.

"What floor is your lab? I'll take the stairs." Her voice was matured, though casual it sounded like she was trying to shove confidence and positivity into every word that she said. She didn't sound like his little sister, but then he realised how bizarre of a thought that was because if she did sound like his sister than she'd only know about three words and be slurring on every letter.

He didn't ask her why. He didn't want to get personal with someone he was adamant was a complete stranger, "it's the twentieth floor." Tony got in the elevator and left Steve and Amelia only in the living area.

Steve released an exasperated sigh, "I'm so sorry Freckles, that didn't go at all like I'd hoped."

Amelia shrugged her shoulders, keeping her real feelings hidden beneath a lock and key as she faced Steve, "it's cool, I expected it to be honest. I'll be fine." She said the words to comfort him, to stop him from worrying and to erase that disappointed expression off of his face.

"Well I can come with you if you want, I don't know if it's a good idea leaving you alone with him."

"Nah," Amelia shook her hand back and forth, refusing his offer and trying to smile wide enough so it seemed as though she was completely fine with the idea, "you can go empty the bags in our room whilst I get this over and done with."

"My room," he tried to correct but she was already making her way out of the door and back onto the staircase.

She made it to the lab without bumping into any unwanted guests. The lab seemed only slightly bigger than the living room which was the entire floor space, filled to the brim with all sorts of shiny technology that she couldn't even begin to guess their uses.

Amelia found her brother sat on a desk with holograms displaying information to him, in front of him was a stainless steel tray that had on what she could identify as a syringe. He'd taken off his suit jacket and tie, the top button of his shirt undone and the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. Without turning around Tony slapped his hand on the seat beside him, "sit," he demanded, voice toneless. He was trying to sound emotionless but it was only coming across brassy. Amelia preferred it that way though, at least it was some sort of reaction. She obeyed soundlessly and the moment she was seated Tony picked up a rubber band from his tray and turned to face her, though he never once looked into her eyes. "I'm going to take your blood now, I hope you're not scared of needles."

She laughed at his statement, the idea that out of everything she'd gone through in her life she chose to fear needles most of all becoming a very amusing thought. She offered him her arm, allowing him to take the blood sample without any issues, the two getting through the ordeal in complete silence which was very unusual for Tony. He hadn't actually felt that serious in a while.

He left with the blood sample and Amelia took initiative, taking off the band and covering where she'd been injected with a small circular plaster that had also been on the steel tray. When he returned he was empty handed, "it should only take Jarvis a couple of minutes and then we'll know for sure."

Amelia nodded her head in understanding of what he said, not quite sure how to respond to his words. She managed to pass an entire minute with just staring at her hands on her lap, messing with her own fingers, until she realised it wasn't a comfortable silence but a tension-filled awkward one. Tony had sat back down beside her but he was just staring at one of the hologram screens in front of him, a pen in his hand that he fidgeted with, moving it from finger to finger and generally just twirling it about.

A cough passed her lips, gaining Tony's attention as he looked at her from the corner of his eye and then she pushed out her hand, giving the trick Steve had taught her another try. "So," she started awkwardly, already stumbling on what to say but she focused once again on what Steve had told her to do when greeting people for the first time, "I'm Amelia Stark, I think. I might be proven wrong in a minute." Tony looked down at the hand, almost cautiously, as though he were expecting it to jump forward and slap him or something, but either way, he made no move to shake it and that caused Amelia to huff in frustration. "Okay, that's it, I don't care what Steve said. I'm no longer going to do this whole shaking hands thing because no one ever shakes it."

"What?" He questioned, perplexed by her sudden outburst.

Realising she'd basically just yelled at him she dropped her hand and brought it closer to her chest again, "I'm sorry," the words felt clumsy as they slipped from her lips, nerves rattling her as concerns flew threw her mind that she'd just alienated him with her outburst. "Steve, he's been teaching me stuff, like, how to greet people and he said I should shake people's hands but no one ever seems to be doing it."

With more understanding, he turned back to the screen which had on it a percentage bar to show how close they were to getting their results. 80%. "Yeah, you can just say hi to people. Or hello. Or hey. Or nothing, just get straight into the conversation, that's what I usually do." He moved the pen around in his hand some more, beginning to repeatedly press on the clicking part so he could work out some of his impatience.

"See, I knew it," Amelia hollered, "Steve was telling me that would be rude, what a liar."

Tony actually smiled at that, an authentic smile as he found her behaviour amusing, especially when she began to shun Steve. Though friends, Tony considered getting on Steve's nerves a part of his civic duty, someone needed to keep him on his toes. "What else has he told you?" Tony asked, plotting to teach her the opposite of what Steve had said, knowing he'd have taught her all the polite and 'right' things to do.

"Ummm," Amelia sounded out as she thought heavily, so overthrown with her brother's sudden interest that she thought too swiftly and just went with the first thing that came to her head, "to not mention killing whenever I have a conversation with people." Though bizarre, it was one of Amelia's fondest memories of when Steve taught her that, it was the first time they'd truly gotten along.

Little did she realise that by mentioning it, she'd literally gone against the rule that he'd taught her.

Tony leaned back in his chair as he took in the words she'd said. _Killing_. The person who might be his little sister had killed before? Enough times to be able to mention it in conversations? His mind was overworked with analyses of what she said, the pen he'd once been messing with gone from his hand. It became worse the deeper he delved, the guilt became worse.

In front of them, the holographic screen chimed, a welcome noise that acted as a hook dragging Tony from the haze he'd fallen into. The test was complete. "What's the prognosis, Jarvis?"

"She is your sister, Mr Stark," Jarvis explained, not beating around the bush like Steve had because he wasn't programmed to.

* * *

 **A/N: So there we have it, the meeting. I'm so nervous about this scene because Stark is such a complicated character and I really want to get him right. I just don't think anyone would straight up accept the return of their sister, especially Tony. Idk, I'd love to hear your thoughts on it!**

 **To BigBandVIP, thank you for not giving any spoilers! And tomorrow at 11 in the morning is when I see it. I'm twenty, I don't get that excited feeling the night before Christmas anymore, but god damn am I feeling it again now. I can't wait.**

 **To Psycho-Barbie16, thank you so much for this comment it was so lovely! I'm extremely happy that you're enjoying the story so far. Thank you, again.**

 **To TheQueenOfGoodbyes, I don't want to be spoilery but it's basically someone gets tortured and I get descriptive, not in like a 'guts and gore' way though. I've been thinking about it, and I think I'll write a summary of the chapter at the end for any that want to skip it. I really don't want you to go and I want to make sure this story is enjoyable for everyone so if you have any thoughts on how I can go about it do share :)**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, thank you, glad you liked the little moment at the end, I love writing those scenes so much. Whilst I'm an avid lover of writing angst, I also enjoy the odd bit of fluff here and there.**

 **To Sam0728, I haven't even started with the emotions, wait until you read the next chapter!**

 **To BecomingFearless1F, thank you for the compliment, not sure whether you're talking about Amelia or the story itself, but either way I'm glad you're enjoying it!**

 **To Unajet, I agree with you, she's impulsive and strange but that's what makes her, her!**

 **And a big ol' thank you to everyone else that read the chapter! Hope you all have a wonderful day!**


	21. Chapter Nineteen

**CHAPTER NINETEEN**

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" _ **Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says 'I'll try again tomorrow'." ―**_ _ **Mary Anne Radmacher**_

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Steve had finished unpacking his bag in the room Jarvis had showed him to. It was the same room he'd stayed at the last time he was in the tower so he at least knew where everything was and how to get back to the living room from there. He'd left Amelia's suitcase unpacked, still refusing that she'd be sleeping the night in his room despite her being so sure that she would.

That's how things normally went though, every time they went to different locations he'd pay for her to have an apartment or room of her own and she'd just sneak her way back into his own room every single night. Steve couldn't actually remember the last time he slept in a bed without her next to him.

However, just because he was in a different time period didn't mean he'd lost his morals and he'd been taught when he was a young man that people shouldn't live together until they'd reached an appropriate point in their romantic relationship.

Plus, he wasn't just creating space between them to be polite. He was creating space because he felt it was very necessary between them, things had transpired over their year together and it felt like the pair had only grown closer, their feelings for one another growing as well. Steve was trying to do Amelia a favour by enforcing their platonic friendship because he was a firm believer that she needed to love herself first, if they became anything more serious before that point he'd feel like he was just taking advantage, even though he knew Amelia would probably feel differently.

Though he was the one who'd come to that decision it didn't mean it was any easier for him to separate his romantic feelings from his friendly feelings, especially because as the year progressed they'd become one in the same.

He arrived at the living room to find Amelia sat on the couch alone. She was leant forward in her seat, head in her hands and she was staring off into the distance clearly lost in thought. Though he hadn't intended to at first, he found himself observing her from afar, taking in her beauty just for a moment and allowing himself a moment of weakness. She was beautiful to him, maybe not in the classical way, she wasn't dainty and she definitely didn't work on her appearance like some other women did. He wasn't sure if she even knew what makeup was yet. But among her ordinaryness there was something stunning. Amelia had packed quite a bit of muscle over the year, training herself rigorously to make up for how frail she'd physically become during all her weeks in prison, and she'd also allowed her hair to grow out. It settled in dark brown waves, down to the crook of her neck, for the most part she'd shove it behind her ear so it didn't get in the way of her vision, revealing a jawline as sharp as any knife she wielded and freckles that dotted their way down from her forehead to beneath the leather jacket she wore.

It wasn't just her physical appearance that he was charmed by, bizarrely the paradox that was her personality had actually become a part of her glamour. Sometimes she was incredibly innocent, she'd say things that revealed her understanding of the world was similar to that of a childs, and yet on the other hand she was headstrong and could definitely hold her own in a battle. She wasn't sugar, spice and everything nice, she was fire and lightning and perhaps that was the loveliest thing about her. It was one of the things he admired most, that was for sure. Whenever he thought back about their journey his heart would swell whenever he remembered just how much Amelia had gotten through. Her fire and lightning was more than just a pretty picture, it's her own creation that came with her as she rose like a phoenix from the ashes Alexander Pierce had set.

"Shut up," Amelia outwardly hissed, pushing her head further in her hands and beginning to rub at her forehead as though it was aching. Steve cocked his head, perplexed as to who she was talking to considering there was no one else in the room and as far as he was aware it had been completely silent for the last minute and a half he'd been observing her (that's what he preferred to call it, rather than saying he was just staring at her).

It wasn't the first time he'd heard her talking to herself, it wasn't even the second time. But every time he tried to talk about it she'd do the exact same thing she did whenever he asked her about what Pierce did to her, she'd close up and leave or do her very best to change the subject.

Trying to be as casual as possible, he shoved his hand into his pockets and rounded the couch that she was sat on, "who are you talking to?" His thought was light, careless, disguising the genuine concern that clouded his brain.

Amelia's head shot up from her hands and for a moment she looked like a deer caught in headlights but she soon recovered, trained in the art of pretending like everything was okay. "No one," she answered smoothly, and then she did just what he'd suspected she would do by changing the subject, "did you unpack our bags?"

"I unpacked _my_ bag, you can unpack yours when we find out what room you're staying in." Amelia glowered at him, leaning back in her seat and crossing her arms over her chest, despite the glare she still had a coy smile on her face. Steve followed her lead, seating himself next to her and relaxing the best he could beside her despite all the things he was worrying about. He was worried how Tony was reacting about Amelia being alive, he was worried about how Amelia was reacting to finally facing a piece of her original life, he was worried about how she was coping with generally everything, and not to mention he was worried about Bucky. It was a part of his nature to try and fix things himself even if the problem wasn't necessarily his to bear, especially when it came to people he cared about. Steve scanned the room once more, checking once more to see if there really was no one else in the room. "Where's Tony?"

"He left," she explained, saying the words as if it didn't affect her, not realising that Tony had actually done something wrong, at least in Steve's mind he had.

The soldiers eyes widened and his mouth dropped open slightly, "he left you?"

She was a bit wary of the anger displayed in Steve's tone, making her lean back a little away from him, "yeah, we did the blood test and it came back positive. After that he just left, got in this weird metal suit thing and flew off."

"Oh, Tony," he sighed, disappointed at the outcome. He wasn't really surprised though, he'd hoped for the day to go a certain way and of course Tony had chosen to go against that and make things more complicated. Steve wasn't sure why he'd even hoped for a different outcome, sometimes Tony was just too selfish.

The elevator released a musical ding and the doors opened, both Steve and Amelia turned to see who had entered the room, expecting Tony but being met with the sight of a strawberry blonde rushing into the room. The mysterious woman's eyes instantly fell onto Amelia as she approached the pair sat on the couch, her heels clapping against the hard ground. "Are you her? Are you his sister?" The question passed the woman's lips eagerly, scaring Amelia more than Steve's rage had, automatically a hand of hers rose up in case she needed to defend herself. The woman didn't look like the type to attack, she was dressed in a pants suit similar to the one Amelia's brother had been wearing, and she looked just as well groomed. At first the assassin thought she had a weapon in her hand but after further inspection she identified it as a purse. Warily, Amelia nodded her head, the movement causing the standing blonde to throw up her hands in the air and then clap them together, "oh my god, you're alive. That- That's amazing," it seemed the woman was lost for words as she moved her hands over her mouth. Amelia was beginning to like the woman's reaction more and more, it seemed she actually wanted her there and Amelia couldn't help but wish that her brother had reacted in a similar fashion.

"Pepper," Steve said, interrupting the blonde's gleeful chatterings and identifying her for Amelia, "no offence, but how come you're here and not Tony?"

Pepper's hands fell down, situating themselves in front of her body as she looked at Steve with an expression that said 'were you expecting something different?' which was explanation enough for the soldier and it painted a pretty picture of what exactly the man had gone off to do. He'd heard of the man's self destructive tendencies and he supposed that's exactly what Tony had gone off to do. "He rang me up," she said, trying to defend her boyfriend from the soldier's obvious disapproval, made clear by the frown on Steve's face. "He told me to come here immediately and make sure you guys are okay, he just needs time to process the news. I promise he'll be back soon," she explained the last part to Amelia, not really sure of the brunette's personality but still trying her best to provide some sort of comfort.

Meanwhile Steve looked to Amelia, trying to gouge her reaction. All she was displaying was a polite smile though and he found it oddly frustrating. It would make more sense for her to be annoyed. When they escaped SHIELD together and Natasha joined them she'd fought against the prejudice Nat had showed, and yet this time all the brunette was doing was sitting back and taking it.

"Well that's alright," Amelia mused, "do you know when he'll be coming back?"

Pepper shook her head in response, "I'm not sure. But until he does I plan on taking care of you, have you been shown to your room yet?"

Both Steve and Amelia felt grateful towards how open and kind Pepper was being to the situation rather than closing herself off like Tony had done. Amelia could understand why though, the way she saw it was that her brother was just doing what she had done for years. She'd decided to be patient with him and give him a chance just like how Steve had done for her.

Amelia stood up, wanting to retreat from the situation for a moment so she could let her face relax from all the smiling she'd been doing. "It's fine, Steve can just show me to his room, that's where I'll be staying." Amelia said the words innocently, a catalyst for the peach blush rising on Steve's face and the wide eyes on Pepper's face.

Pepper's mouth opened and closed, resembling a goldfish as her mind worked on stringing some words together that made sense, "oh, are you two-"

Steve stood up as well, immediately jumping in to try and fix the situation she'd just caused. "No we're not," he explained, waving his hand around as though he were slapping whatever thoughts had arose in the blondes mind, "we're just friends."

"Did I do something wrong?" Amelia asked, noting the blush she'd caused Steve to have.

He gave her a side eye, most of his attention still fixed on making sure Pepper didn't make anymore assumptions about their relationship because he _really_ didn't want it getting back to Tony. The soldier daren't think of how Amelia's brother would react. "I'll tell you later," he said in order to hush her. Amelia knew he probably wouldn't tell her later, he'd said that a few times before and used it to try and end a conversation. The last time he said it was after Sam made a crude joke, she'd asked for an explanation but Steve quickly moved past it and never returned to the subject, she still wondered to that day why exactly a cat had been soaked.

After that Steve and Amelia began to argue about the rooming situation. Steve was adamant that she needed to stay in her own room, trying to explain that it wasn't normal for two friends to share a bed every night but she eventually got her way through playing the sympathy card. What she said was true though, she really couldn't sleep without him there anymore.

Pepper watched from the sidelines, trying to keep her smile at bay as she watched Steve fall defenceless the moment Amelia put on her puppy eyes. _Cute_ , she thought, noting that there was definitely something going on between them despite what Steve had said.

By the end of the small dispute Amelia had made it clear that there wasn't actually any choice for Steve because even if they did get given separate rooms then she'd just find his and sneak in there. Finally he relinquished, telling Pepper that he'd just show her to the room. Pepper said whilst they finished setting up their room she'd get the building's chef to make some dinner for everyone. It was nearing dusk and Pepper explained that a meal would be a good place for them to get to know each other, also stating that if Tony returned then he could join them and finally discuss everything that had transpired. Once the plan was agreed upon they parted their ways, Amelia and Steve going down to the room.

She was impressed by how big the room actually was, far too use to studio apartments and inadequate spaces. One wall was entirely made of glass, showing the outside city in all it's glory, "I think I can see our old apartment from here," she laughed before locating her suitcase inside of the walk-in closet. Steve went to sit at a desk in the room as she busied herself hanging up the clothes she'd brought. Both of them knew the clothes wouldn't stay hung up and in no time they'd probably just end up on the floor for him to pick up because neatness was not on Amelia's list of special skills.

The door to the walk-in wardrobe was left open so that Steve could still see her, the familiar blue eyes a constant reminder that she couldn't drop the carefree act just yet.

"So, how are you holding up?" The soldier questioned, his hands working with a mind of their own as they collected a notepad and pen and began to doodle.

"I'm fine," she replied, the words robotic, a programmed response.

Steve sighed though Amelia was too busy to notice it. He'd spent the past year with her trying his best not to push her too much on certain subjects, and while it had been a nice year together he was beginning to realise how much of a pushover he'd become. He cared for her, he wanted to be there for her, but she wasn't letting him and he partly blamed himself for that. When Amelia turned to face him she's met with a look she'd never seen on Steve's face before, he was looking directly at her, solemn, a look that said 'tell me the truth'.

She sighed too, dropping the smile off of her face finally. Things were undeniably changing, she'd started seeing a therapist, she was meeting her brother and their year of being together was over. She left the walk-in wardrobe with her suitcase still left open on the floor barely empty, and she sat on the bed across from him. "It's not easy," she confessed, giving the best she could to rid that expression off of his face, "but it can't get any worse than this. Plus, we get to eat some food later that hasn't been cooked by me, it should be good."

"Amelia-"

"Don't call me that," she physically winced when she heard him use that name, her shoulders tightening and her eyes falling closed momentarily, "just call me Freckles, okay? I'm not Amelia, not yet."

Steve's eyes fell to the floor as he considered the new information she'd given, finally a glimpse into her mind. She didn't feel like she was Amelia Stark yet and she was struggling with what had occurred between her and Stark. Now he knew, he could help.

He stood up from his chair and opened his arms invitingly, "would a hug help?" He wasn't a therapist, he couldn't give her some sage coping mechanism to get her through this. What he could do was let her know that he was with her until _the end of the line_.

Amelia discovered at that moment that smiles weren't always painful, not when they weren't forced, "are you sure?"

About four months into their year together he'd been forced to make a rule that she couldn't just hug him when she felt like it because sometimes the situation they were in didn't allow for such a thing. It was her least favourite rule he'd made, right above 'no ice cream for breakfast'.

This was one of those situations that called for a hug though.

Hugs with Steve were never long enough for Amelia. In his arms she was safe, her worries disappearing like rain on summer earth. In that embrace, she was cocooned better than any butterfly-to-be. She'd heard about peace and she knew the definition, but she never experienced it until she was in his arms.

"Things will get easier," he asserted.

And she wanted to believe him, she wanted to believe that there really was a light at the end of the tunnel and she just wasn't able to see it yet. But as she raised her head, aiming to look into Steve's calming blue eyes, she was instead met by the icy gaze of Alexander Pierce who was stood right behind Steve. He was pressed against the wall across from her and he laughed, as though to say 'yeah right'. Then she realised that Steve didn't know enough, if he did, he wouldn't be saying such a thing.

Still, she just pressed her head back once again into Steve's chest, letting herself enjoy the experience fully before reality hit her once again.

After they hugged Amelia returned to unpacking her bag, her side of the wardrobe a collection of black whilst Steve's was a mix of blues, greys and whites, the odd bright colour mixed among them.

Six O'clock arrived soon after and Jarvis called them up to the forty-second for dinner. During that interaction Steve finally explained to her who Jarvis was, an AI that Tony had created which basically ran the building alongside her brother.

When they arrived upstairs (Steve deciding to take the stairs with her) they found a plate full of glorious food. Gluttony became the only sin Amelia condoned as she scoffed down the appetiser and the main course, enjoying every single bite as though it was her last meal.

Pepper was a great conversationalist, whilst polite she knew how to make people laugh and there was barely any tension in the air, Tony forgotten about. And despite her little slip-up earlier when talking with her brother, she displayed how far she'd come when talking with Pepper. Steve sat to the side, cutting into his steak with a small smile on his face, doing nothing to fight down the little ball of pride that was bouncing around his stomach. She talked about movies she'd watched, and music she really liked, able to show her vast knowledge on cooking and baking and it had Steve remembering every moment because he was with her when she watched those movies and when she listened to that music (thankfully it turned out she had a similar music taste to him) and when she discovered her love for creating edibles.

It had turned out to be a good evening, one that she wouldn't forget anytime soon. It became even more unforgettable after her brother returned home.

The elevator dinged open, gaining the attention of everyone seated at the dining table and once the door opened they were met with the image of Tony, still in his iron man suit, sat on the floor with a bottle of whiskey enclasped in his hand. It seemed the chime of the elevator had coerced him out of some drunken stupor, making him jump a little and they all had to watch as he pathetically tried to stand up, using the wall as his only support and stumbling multiple times. By the time he actually managed to get back on his feet the elevator was beginning to shut, he stumbled forward and gripped the door too harshly with his metal hand, causing the door to be crushed beneath his super-powered grip.

It wasn't until he was out of the elevator and had taken off the mask of his suit that it became clear just how drunk he had gotten. One of his eyes was more closed than the other, his hair sweat-drenched and matted against the tanned skin on his forehead. It was clear in his dark eyes that the man's brain had, for the most part, been anaesthetised by all the liquor he'd consumed in the few hours since he'd left.

The one thing that all those who sat at the dining table shared was their disappointment. Steve had dropped his knife and fork onto the table far harder than he'd meant to, making a fist with one hand and wrapping the other around it so he could keep it in front of his mouth before any disapproving words could slip out. Amelia was much quieter, simply staring, Alexander's voice in the back of her mind telling her that she had been the one to push him to such a state. Pepper just watched with an expression on her face that said this wasn't the first time she'd seen her partner in that state.

He walked into the middle of the room and stopped, standing up a little taller and pushing his shoulders back but still wobbling, standing in a sad impersonation of a superhero pose. He brought up the hand he had his liquor in, pointing it somewhere between Pepper and Amelia. "Get away from her," he slurred, panting slightly, "Pepper, get away from her."

The blonde didn't instantly move, not even taking what he'd said into consideration, putting his abrasive behaviour down to the alcoholic he'd consumed.

His gaze then targeted Amelia, locking her in such a disdainful stare that she had flashbacks in her mind of the look Alexander Pierce always gave her whenever she acted out, it embodied true detestment. "She's nothing but a killer."

Amelia didn't have any fight in her to argue against him after that, not fully able to comprehend why but knowing that the ache in her chest was far worse than any sort of stab, it was more like a bullet had torn through the organ inside it. When her head fell down and her hands dropped onto her lap, Steve got mad.

He stood up, marching over to Tony and putting up his arms ready to face the man's challenging behaviour that never seemed to yield, "you're drunk Stark, go to bed." It wasn't a suggestion, wasn't even a request, it was a demand.

Tony Stark didn't take too kindly to demands.

He stumbled closer to Steve, trying to look his frenemy in the eye but struggling to do so as his voice swayed from side to side, "have you ever looked in her folder, Cap? Paints a pretty disturbing picture."

"Yeah, I have. Did you decide to skip the part that says she was tortured for years and forced to kill?" Steve defended, tone cold like stone.

"Oh how cute," Pierce whispered into her ear, "he thinks you were forced to killing."

Amelia shot up from her seat, joining beside Steve and taking a hold of his hand, patting it with her other and calming him down enough for him to put both hands down but his body remained rigid, still ready to face off with Stark. "It's okay," she asserted, her voice unusually mousy, "he's right, I did the killing, it's on me."

Her brother threw up his arms, liquor spilling from his bottle due to the dramatic movement, "she admits it!" He hoorahed theatrically.

"Hey!" Steve yelled, throwing his voice up to the same octave that Tony had used, "you need to back off." The soldier simply wouldn't allow someone as messed up as Tony to dismantle all the progress he and Amelia had made with her view of herself, it had been the first thing on his list of things to improve once Hydra had fallen and they'd just begun to make advancements.

A feeling of deja vu hit both the billionaire and the soldier but both of them chose to ignore the fact that the last time they got into a situation like that they were disrupted by a Norse god up to no good, putting them in quite an uncomfortable situation.

Something Amelia had learnt through watching a lot of television was that most species of animal bare their teeth when making a threat or trying to display their leadership, reminding their foes that their clenched jaws can and would open yielding throats. Amelia thought of that when her brother smiled at Steve, and through his teeth, said: "make me."

As though God himself was giving an opinion on their fight, thunder rumbled outside.

Out of fear for both her brother and her close friend Amelia dropped Steve's hands and raised her own, pushing the air apart with them, using her powers to force Tony and Steve to move a safe distance apart. Tony's eyes flashed to hers, fury burning her skin like acid. "Or do you want to fight me?" He spat out, "maybe even kill me, huh?"

"I don't want to kill anymore," she responded, desperate, but disappointed at the lack of resolution in her voice.

"Are you sure about that?" Tony asked, laughing emptily, "do you think someone like you is capable of doing anything else?"

The question had her silent, even Steve didn't have a response to it, all he had was a desire to hit the man.

But the feud wasn't allowed to continue.

Outside lightning crashed down onto the landing pad which Tony normally used (unless he was too drunk to fly, in which case his preferred method of travel was a taxi and the building's elevator), it caused alarms to blare inside Amelia's mind. She instantly moved to stand in front of Steve protectively but before she could demand he get out of there, her soldier had already placed a hand on her shoulder, something he did when he needed her to back down from a fight, "it's okay, we know him. He's a friend."

Amelia was beginning to question his definition of 'friend' - though Natasha and Sam had turned out to be great people - he called Tony a friend and that clearly wasn't the case from what she had observed.

Once the lightning faded a man stood where it had hit, he stood tall and was packing quite a bit of muscle. His hair was a blinding blonde, around the same length as Amelia's own hair. His clothes were peculiar, on his back there was a red cape that danced in the late night gale as he approached the entrance to the room they were in, and in his hand he seemed to be holding a very large hammer, reminding her more of a meat tenderiser than the tool.

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 **A/N: So, I saw Infinity War. I have no words. When I left the cinema it genuinely felt like the entire world around me had changed.**

 **[PLEASE READ ME-] I've been thinking, and I want to post more chapters than just one a week, I feel so motivated rn and I think I could manage it but there's a lot of ways I can go about it. I can do another week of updating every day, and then from there I'd have to upload a chapter as soon as it's written, or I can just do like two new chapters a week? Please let me know your thoughts, and if you have a preference for days also let me know!**

 **To BigBangVIP, now I understand why you used the word 'recover'.**

 **To Sam0728, and here we see the can of worms unfolding, ik by AOU he was pretty much done with that whole 'parties and alcohol lyfe' but I feel like with it being something THIS BIG he'd return, y'know?**

 **To kuppcake, thank you and I hope you did enjoy the chapter!**

 **To Unajet, it's killing me how hesitant they are, part of me wants to just shove them together but plot and character development and all that stuff so**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, thank you so much! I'm trying to be proud, I swear, but I dont think I can ever stop myself from worrying if I've written things as great as they can be, I always try my best though! That I promise :)**

 **To TheQueenOfGoodbyes, I love Tony for his complexity too, it's both a joy and a burden to write! And don't apologise for leaving a long review, I bloody love long reviews!**

 **And a big thanks to everyone that read the chapter!**


	22. Chapter Twenty

**CHAPTER TWENTY**

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" _ **So please ask yourself: what would I do if I weren't afraid? And then go do it." ―**_ _ **Sheryl Sandberg**_

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It hadn't even been twenty-four hours since her last visit to Rebecca Kaplan's home, yet there Amelia was, at midnight, laid on her therapist's couch with her arms laid flat on her stomach and an unsettled expression on her face. "I freaked out," she confessed through a pained exhale of air.

Rebecca was sat on the sofa opposite, hand against her head, trying her best to not fall asleep. She'd just turned the lights off to go to bed when Amelia had appeared at her door, breathless and wide eyed. Though feeling quite affronted by the assassin's appearance, she was at least grateful that Amelia hadn't broken in through the window again.

"Well, what happened?" This time around Rebecca had a notepad and pen with her to make notes on anything she picked up on, as well as things she thought they could benefit talking about.

With another huff the brunette rose to her feet, finding that just laying down was far too peaceful an act and it opposed the franticness she felt inside. She explained things from the beginning, her finally besting pancakes, going to meet her brother, how at first he denied their relation and then returned only to call her a killer (which she admitted was true), moving onto the arrival of Thor.

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 **TWO HOURS EARLIER...**

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After Thor made his grand entrance Pepper decided it was time for Tony to sober up, practically pouring a coffee down his throat and then ordering him to drink an entire pint of water before he even dared to say another word. He still got hit with a hangover though, but it was by no means the most painful one he'd experienced, a thumping in his skull ebbed and flowed like a cold tide whilst a pain remained always. Tony placed himself slack on his lengthy mahogany couch, hand pressed firmly against his aching forehead. Meanwhile, Steve remained standing along with Thor, Amelia had seated herself on top of the back part of the couch, a great deal of a distance away from Tony. Pepper had disappeared as soon as she'd caught onto the fact that they were going to have a conversation meant just for the Avengers, Amelia hadn't shared that realisation though.

"So," Steve began, "not that I'm not happy to see you Thor but why exactly are you here?"

"I can answer that," Tony interjected, raising up the hand he'd been previously pressing onto his forehead, "he's been here for a while because after SHIELD fell apart Loki's staff went missing, me and Bruce have been helping. We tried to call you but I guess you were too busy gallivanting with my sister."

That wasn't the reason he hadn't told Tony about where he was. If Steve could have then he would have had Tony try and help him find Bucky, but that could lead to him finding out something Steve had been keeping very close to his chest. Bucky had been the one to kill Tony's parents and kidnap Amelia. If Tony found out then he was sure Amelia would as well. Though Steve didn't like keeping it secret, he'd decided it would be for the best. Which meant he had to stay silent and just accept what Tony had accused him of.

"She is your sister?" Thor questioned, turning to examine the brunette as though he hadn't spent most of the night glancing at her, trying to come up with clues for her identity. She had been introduced to him whilst Pepper was forcing Tony to sober up, but just as Amelia, not Amelia Stark. However, Thor had seen something familiar in her dark brown eyes and thick umber locks and now he knew, it was because she and Tony were one in the same. "It is good to meet you."

She returned his pleasant salutation with a slight wave of her hand, far too exhausted to exhume any more of her energy on greeting the stranger. And like an abused hound she was far too fearful of the man's reaction to her.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there to help," Steve said, directing his words to Thor only. For the most part since Thor's arrival, he'd been putting more space between himself and Tony, waiting until he'd calmed down and for Tony to sober up before he put any effort into solving the issues created. "But I'm here now and so's Amelia, we'll help wherever we can, right?"

"Absolutely," Amelia didn't hesitate with her answer, nodding her head along with her words as though to convey the honesty behind them.

She considered herself and Steve a package deal after their year together; if he wanted to do something then she'd be by his side every step of the way, and the greatest thing of all was that it was the exact same when it was her who'd decided to do something.

Steve smiled gratefully at his partner in crime before looking back to Thor, "so what do we know so far?"

"That the scepter's with Amelia's best friends," Tony chimed in, eagerly jumping into any opportunity that would allow him to throw some spite at his sister and frustrate the soldier some more. No one in the room seemed to understand what he was saying though, so he huffed and further explained, "I'm talking about Hydra."

A flash of irritation sparked in her heart at the mention of their name, at the fact that he liberally spoke about such a thing when he had no complete understanding of the pure and unadulterated hatred she felt towards the organisation that made her. So far she'd kept herself quiet, easily being able to see his point of view because the way he felt towards her matched the way she felt about herself. But after saying that she couldn't help but stand up, making her way over to Steve knowing that his presence would help calm her. She didn't want to be angry at her brother, scared of only further proving him right if she did get vexed.

Her soldier reached out one arm so he could rub his palm gently across the bottom of her back, the touch going unnoticed by Tony. "Any leads?" Steve continued on with the main topic, the most important topic.

"Together we have found several of our enemies hideouts but half were already abandoned and the other half were dead ends," Thor explained for them, his frustration becoming more and more evident in the tightness of his grip on his hammer. "The one I went to last night was the last one we were able to find and it was completely empty."

Silence passed as both Steve and Amelia absorbed the information and then thought of a new plan, Tony was too busy soothing his hangover to join their plotting.

Abruptly Steve turned to face Amelia, making her very wary of what his mind had managed to conjure. "You had a base, didn't you?"

All eyes moved onto the brunette that slowly nodded her head. Yes, she used to have a base. Use to. She'd escaped it, she'd finished with that part of her life, she'd truly believed that they'd never make her go back to it. Back to the pit. "Well, we could try looking there."

"It will probably just be another abandoned base," she supplied, fighting off an invisible hand wrapping around her throat, doing anything she could to throw out reasons why they shouldn't go to the base. Amelia didn't want to come off selfish and she didn't want to supply any more causes for distress which Tony could use to fuel his hatred.

"But there might be clues, it could be worth a try," Steve's gaze moved from her to Thor to Tony, seeing if they all agreed with the plan, missing the dread consuming Amelia.

It felt like the room she was in was filling up with water, yet no one else but her seemed to notice it. Her heart rate increased, her hands had become clammy yet her mouth was dry. A sensation of helplessness was rising with the waters, a reminder of the way she used to feel when being faced with Hydra's tortures. She couldn't go back. She couldn't go back. _She couldn't go back_.

Negative emotions swirled inside her like a hurricane, ripping apart every thought in her brain until all that there was left for her to think about was the messy destruction left over. No matter how much she tightened her hands, no matter how deep she pierced her own skin with her nails, Amelia never got to gain control.

Weak. That's all she was. So weak that she ran off, sprinting for the staircase despite Steve's yells, jumping her way down the stairs despite knowing that Steve was trying to chase after her, the only time she stopped was when she saw in the reflection of the main door to the building, Alexander Pierce standing right behind her, his hands wrapped around her throat.

And she never stopped running, not even when her legs felt like they'd been set on fire and her lungs ached. Amelia ran all the way to Rebecca Kaplin's apartment.

She finished telling the story to her therapist breathlessly, her chest aching. Of course she'd left all the details about Pierce and any private information to do with Hydra. Whilst she was trusting this therapist with secretive information, she wasn't stupid and knew what she needed to withhold.

"It sounds like you had a panic attack," Rebecca put her pen down on top of her notebook, a full two pages filled.

"What is that?" Amelia's voice came out misfortunately frustrated, aggression being accidentally placed on her therapist, the one person who'd done nothing to her.

The doctor remained unphased, pretending like she'd said the words casually rather than sour, a skill she'd had to learn for her job. "A panic attack is when you get hit with a strong sense of anxiety due to feelings of impending doom. There are physical symptoms, such as trembling, sweating, your heart pounding."

"Yeah, that sounds about right." She stopped from walking side to side, giving her heart a break. She wasn't dismayed to hear that she'd had a panic attack, in fact, she was quite happy that the problem was identifiable because that meant she could work on figuring out how to fix it. "I guess this is what happens when I don't run away."

"You know that's not true," Rebecca countered, once again refraining from being hostile back. When Amelia looked at her with a clearly unchanged opinion Rebecca suggested something else, "what was happening right before your panic attack?"

The memories Amelia returned to were like thorns and though it hurt to remind herself she steeled herself and recited them, "they were saying that they wanted me to take them to my old base."

The old base. The place she was tortured. Beaten. Electrocuted. Scarred, both physically and emotionally.

"And you don't want to?"

"No." What Rebecca had been trying to explain was becoming clearer to her the more she thought about it, and the clearer the issue became, the more she felt calmed. Amelia moved to sit down again, remembering that that's how the people in the TV shows and movies she watched had done it. She didn't know if it actually had any sort of effect, she'd simply come to the assumption that when laid down people were more relaxed and therefore more open.

"I thought I was out of there, y'know?" She looked at Rebecca who remained silent but nodded to show her understanding, giving Amelia room to share her inner thoughts. "I'm not ready to go back to my old base, it will bring up so many bad memories and it'll be basically putting on display what happened to me. There's a room, right at the back, with a little hole in the floor and an iron door on top of it. Whenever I misbehaved they use to…" She couldn't continue on that point and she didn't want to discuss it any further, "I don't want Steve to see that because then he'll see me. The real me I've been keeping away from him. The monster."

"You call yourself a monster a lot," Rebecca had lifted her pen up again and was starting to write down more notes, "and you accepted it when your brother said those horrible things to you. Maybe validation is another thing we need to work on."

"I don't know what you mean," _a lie_. Steve had had a conversation with her about how self-deprecating she could be about her past, but she always argued that she was just taking from the information she'd been given and coming to a practical conclusion. She killed a lot of people, that was bad. She stood by and watched half-aware as Hydra tried to make the world submit just like she had, that was bad. People called villains monsters, and for most of her life, she'd been the villain.

"You've achieved a lot Amelia, you made a brave decision to fight against your abuser - who might I add was the real monster - and you're changing yourself for the better. You're a fighter." Rebecca threw her pen down onto the notepad and pushed them aside so she could lean forward in her chair, uncrossing her legs, making sure that Amelia was definitely listening to her. "I know it, Steve knows it, and your brother will learn it too. So stop saying you're a monster, and start saying you're a person who makes monsters wish they weren't born."

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 **A/N: I'm not all that happy with this chapter tbh, I played about with it and this is as good as I could get, I'd scrap it but some stuff is necessary and I don't know where else to put it. Also, I've just finished planning Part Two and it's twenty-four chapters long just so ya know. I cried when planning chapter twenty-nine but that might be because this story is literally my therapy and me dealing with, and coming to terms with, my own abuse. Idk if I've shared this before but I'm currently living in a hostel after being kicked out by my abusive parents, this is my own version of therapy but idk I won't go into it cause y'all probably want to hear about THE NEW UPDATE SYSTEM DUN DUN DUNNN**

 **It's legit just going to be me trying to update every day, if it gets too much to manage we'll sort out something but for now, expect an update every day :)**

 **Another thing which is _very minor_ but I feel like it's worth mentioning, I totally got the layout of the Avenger's tower wrong but I didn't realise until I watched Age of Ultron today so I'm very sorry but it's gonna have to stay that way. **

**To OfSeashellsandStars, I'll try my best!**

 **To Guest, that's one of the only things I never thought someone would say they 'love'd but you do you**

 **To youngbones7, Stemelia, Stelia, Ameve, there are just no good ship names for it! Thanks for your review, I'm glad you love the story as well as my portrayal of Tony, it's super nice to hear! And I get you with the updates thing, that was my main concern tbh.**

 **To Sam0728, I was really worried about putting that in there cause it might be too risky but I made the joke pretty family friendly, and I'm sorry you almost cried! Maybe only read this when you're at home then you won't have to risk breaking down in public? Cause there are plenty chapters coming your way that would elicit a breakdown. You don't even want to KNOW what I'm planning for Infinity War. And Thor's there cause part two follows the plot of Age of Ultron, you kinda already know why Thor's there lol**

 **To BigBangVIP, I'm going to leave what Pierce is up to the readers. Is he a ghost? Is he all in her head? Is he even Pierce, or is he something else? You find out a lot in chapter twenty-nine and I think I did pretty good with it so hopefully y'all will enjoy it.**

 **To Psycho-Barbie16, we'll see how it goes, I've got four chapters already written so if I just keep up writing every day like I have been we should be good and I get four chances to miss writing a day lol**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, the consensus was to try and update every day so I'll try to do that and if it proves too difficult I'm going to go down to two chapters a week which is more manageable but thank you so much for your input, and thank you for the compliments, I'm super glad you're enjoying the story so far.**

 **To Unajet, writing Tony being drunk and being an ass is easy, but when he's sober it gets more difficult because he's not an ass, he's just trying to save people but keeps making mistakes. He's by no means as bad as his sister though. And I actually didn't think much about how Thor would treat her which was a mistake on my part, I'll try and add my perspective on it somewhere in the following chapters.**

 **To TheQueenOfGoodbyes, your review was very interesting and gave me a lot to think about so thank you! And Amelia just had a bad feeling, I mean it was pretty much lightning crashing down on to the building really close to where they were standing, I think that would freak anyone out but she's so protective of Steve her fight or flight mode is more fight for Steve or get Steve to leave. And I never thought about Mia! It didn't even cross my mind but now it is and my brain is ticking with ideas, it sounds like the kind of nickname a brother would give to their younger sibling, no?**

 **And a big thank you to everyone that read the chapter!**


	23. Chapter Twenty-One

**CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE**

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" _ **It is not the strength of the body that counts. But the strength of the spirit.." ―**_ _ **J. R.**_

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The walk back to the Avengers tower was much easier as less weighed on Amelia's chest due to the progress made at the meeting she'd had with Rebecca. They discussed what Rebecca had aptly named her 'disguised self-deprecation' and how they could work on Amelia achieving a better view of herself, they then agreed that the first thing they needed to sort out was her habit of running away from her problems because she needed to actually stick around in order to fix things.

Rebecca made it clear that there was no quick fix for all the problems she was facing, there was simply progress and as long as Amelia was cooperative then that's what they'd make.

"Good evening Miss Stark," the voice of Jarvis pierced Amelia's silence intrusively as she climbed up the Avengers tower's staircase, her body jumped and panic choked her lungs before she remembered what Jarvis was and why she couldn't see his physical form anywhere. "I apologise for scaring you," the AI pardoned.

Not sure where to look her eyes searched the roof top for a camera or just something she could identify as Jarvis but there was no sign of anything but staircases for miles, which was expected as she was climbing her way back up the stairwell. Either way, she waved her hand up in the air, shaking it from side to side, "it's okay, I just forgot you were here because… well because technically you're not here."

"Understandable ma'am," Jarvis politely agreed, easing the guilt Amelia felt over just having dismissed his existence. "I was told by Mr Stark to inform him and Captain Rogers of when you arrived back as well as make sure you're okay."

Amelia nodded, expecting that she'd have to face them at some point despite worrying about the confrontation during her walk back to the tower. She wasn't going to put it off though, if she did that then there was a chance she'd run off and that's what she was trying to avoid. "Did they go to bed or are they still on floor fourty one?"

"Captain Rogers is located in your shared room whilst Mr Stark has gone to work on a project in the lab. Thor has also gone to his room."

"Thank you." Because they weren't on floor fourty one that meant she got to escape the long climb up, only having one last floor to go up and then she'd have to face Steve. She didn't even need to ask Jarvis if the man was still up, she already knew he would be. She could recognise that he cared about her plenty, that was the easy part, it was the convincing him that he didn't have to care so much which was the hard part.

Knowing that Steve was awake and expecting her in the room had her palms going sweaty again. In order to calm her nerves, she did her usual trick of digging her nails into her hand, feeling an additional sting as she opened up her wounds from earlier. When she arrived outside of the door Amelia tried to give herself a moment to calm down, Rebecca had told her when she felt anxious she should ground herself.

Grounding seemed pretty simple, all she needed to do was breathe deeply and then find five things she could see, four things she could touch, three things she could hear, two things she could smell and one emotion she could feel.

Five things she could see: the walls, a laminated floor, doors, numbers on the doors, lights above her. Four things she could touch: The wall, the floor, the door, herself. Three things she could hear: police sirens outside, a car honking outside, the buzz of electricity from the light above her. Two things she could smell: floor cleaner, Rebecca's rose and satin soap that she'd used to wash her hands with. One emotion she felt: nervous.

Though her problem hadn't disappeared, her mind felt much less clouded and so Amelia took initiative and finally entered the room.

Steve had been sat on the end of the bed, head in his hands, dressed in a white vest and joggers. The image of him in that position did not last long because as soon as she opened the door he was stood up and making his way over to her. Once she'd shut the door behind them he clasped her hands, locking them inside his own. It was Steve's own way of grounding the panic he'd felt over her abrupt disappearance.

"I'm sorry," her apology came out more mumbled than she would have liked but the genuinity was still audible to Steve's ears.

He sighed. Maybe he had been angry at the fact that she'd ran off, not explaining why, not saying where she was going, not telling him if she'd ever return, but as per usual it was his concern for Amelia that overpowered everything else, including rational thought. He pulled her closer, breathing in her presence as though she was the oxygen he needed to live. "Where did you go?"

Amelia hated that Steve's voice was as quiet and as mumbled as hers. If she could have her own way they'd both be constantly happy, but of course, that would mean running away and having Steve do the same. "I went back to my therapists again."

His blue connected with her brown as he looked at her through his lashes, "really?" His tone had changed dramatically, moving from sombre to surprised as it was clearly a shock that, not only was she sticking with having a therapist, but was also utilising them at the right sort of time (when she was freaking out). It was progress. Huge progress for someone as closed off as Amelia, and while he was proud of her, it still wasn't the progress he personally wanted to see. He wanted her to be able to talk to him, he wanted her to _not_ run away without any explanation. "Why?" There wasn't any demanding tone being carried by his voice, but it was clear enough for Amelia he wanted an answer.

She'd become aware of his change over the course of that day. He'd started asking questions more, not changing the subject anymore when the topic turned to something she'd in the past run away from, he'd stopped pretending to be ignorant and maybe it was for the best.

"You ran off after I brought up going to your old base, so it's clearly something to do with that," Steve supplied, nudging her.

"Yeah," she paused her words and grimaced, "I didn't like the idea of going there, especially with you there because clearly, I have issues with you seeing… Everything. But I've decided to help you guys, it's about time I stopped putting my fears in front of everything, and everyone, else." By the end of her words she'd adopted a more light tone and was swinging Steve's arms playfully, her outward actions portraying her optimistic disposition.

Steve had been more than happy with that answer, "I accepted your past a long time ago, and I don't care about it anymore. The only thing I care about is who you are today, okay?"

What Steve had said was true and Amelia did know it, but she also believed that it was only temporary, that one day he'd find out something new, something that would finally cause an overflow in the cup he was using to carry the weight of her past, something that would just be too much. It was mostly because that's how she felt. Some nights she'd remember something particular of her past and realise what it entailed and she'd be overcome with emotions, either feeling pity for her younger self and what they had to endure, or hating herself for the things she did to a human being who hadn't deserved it.

Suddenly forming morals was a hard thing to deal with, but it was even harder having to face the knowledge of all the things she'd done when she was amoral.

"Okay?" Steve asked, this time a smile being carried with his voice as he playfully elbowed at her side.

When she looked up, ready to return his behaviour with an equally as playful voice, she became affronted by how close Steve was actually standing near her. He must have moved closer, there was no way she'd have been able to stand that close to him without realising he was just mere centimetres away from her.

Her soldier fell silent as well when she looked up, her warm exhales of air kissing at his skin whilst her lips remained a short distance away. Words became lost in a haze as the pair focused on the space they were sharing, And then, on each other's lips.

For Amelia Steve's lips were so familiar she could probably paint them from memory (if she actually had any artistic ability, that is). His lips were a pale pink that reminded her of a rosebud, the top lip thinner than the bottom but not too thin that it was nonexistent, with a natural cupid's bow; the bottom one was plusher, it looked as soft as the petals on a rose. Though Amelia had never gotten drunk, she imagined that to kiss his lips would make her fall under the same kind of intoxication.

She'd stared at his lips many times. When he drank from a mug, when he bit down on a pen or pencil whilst trying to concentrate, sometimes she'd zone out what he was saying to her and just concentrate on his lips. And eleven months ago, she'd stared at his lips just like they were in that moment.

" _Bye, Sam. Let me know if you find anything," Steve said to his departing friend, closing the door to his studio apartment. With a long sigh, he moved further into the room, seating himself at a breakfast counter which was the only thing that separated the kitchen from his bedroom/living space. He placed his head in his hands, mind swelling with thoughts of Bucky and where his best friend was, how his best friend was doing._

 _The only sound that filled his temporary home was the clanging of pots and pans, the sloshing of water. When it went silent, the soldier finally raised his head. Amelia was stood in front of him drying her hands with a towel and behind her were all the plates and cooking trays cleaned to as close to perfection as they could be considering how cracked and burnt they were. "You didn't need to do that," he mumbled, looking back up at her._

 _If he was in the mood he probably would have laughed at her appearance. Whilst Sam was over he'd managed to convince her to place small tufts of hair into individual bobbles; she was discovering the many things she could do with her hair and had bought a huge pack of bobbles and clips so she could try out different styles which is what inspired Sam's little prank, the design of Amelia's hair giving her a very wild and perhaps slightly insane look._

 _Sadly Steve wasn't in the mood for anything. It had been a month of dead leads, it was almost like his friend had died all over again._

 _What made things worse was that he'd had to make the decision to keep from Amelia that Bucky was the one who killed her parents and kidnapped her when she was young. It became clear she hadn't caught on to what Zola had revealed when they were inside the base, which meant Steve and Sam had to decide whether or not it would be in her best interest to have her know the truth. Because of his decision, guilt seemed to hit him every time he looked at her._

" _Shush," she countered, rolling her eyes at his reaction to her doing a simple task such as the decisions, "I'm the one who cooked them up. Which leads me to my next question, what do you think, did I make the food alright?"_

 _Steve rested his head against the palm of his hand so that he could keep his head up and looking at Amelia who was staring down at him, eyes glistening with hope, awaiting his response like a child awaited their parent saying their drawing was good. "The jacket potato was lovely," he finally responded, "Sam enjoyed it too."_

 _Though the dish had been simple it was quite the challenge for Amelia who was only just beginning to learn how to cook. It was the first meal she'd made in an oven, though she had made it before in the microwave._

 _She released a squeal and clapped her hands together, throwing down the tea towel she'd been holding. Her behaviour managing to call forth a smile on Steve's face despite how worn out he felt. Amelia's own display of energy was cut short when a yawn freed itself, causing her to settle down so she could cover her mouth momentarily._

 _After watching her yawn, Steve couldn't help the one that erupted in him, "yeah," he mused through the yawn, "I'm tired too."_

" _Guess it's time for bed," she said, sheepishly picking up the towel she'd thrown down and folding it up._

 _Steve waited for her to leave but she continued to just walk her way around the kitchen, straightening out everything she could find on the sides, wiping the counters and then refolding the tea towel again and again, avoiding his eyes._

" _You going to leave then, or…?"_

" _Well," she put on a fake sing-song tone, trying to disguise how awkward she felt but only making it more obvious with her fruity tone, "I was thinking that I could sleep in your bed tonight, with you."_

 _Silence settled momentarily as Steve thought over her words, trying to discern some sort of foreign meaning from her words because she couldn't_ _ **possibly**_ _be asking to sleep in his bed. "What?" He asked after finding there was no other possible message behind her words._

" _Well, I haven't been able to sleep properly, and I remember how when we were at Sam's you let me sleep with you in the bed and it was the most rest I'd gotten in a while." She put on her best puppy face as she explained the thinking process behind her decision, finally shedding the energetic and bright facade and slumping down, showing she felt just as equally as tired as Steve had. Really, it should have been obvious by the black bags that weighed underneath her eyes but the brightness of her smile had managed to outshine the shadows. "So yeah, I reckon I'll just sleep here tonight."_

 _She didn't really give Steve an option because she didn't want to give the man room to say no, apparently it didn't really matter because the look on his face made it quite clear what his decision was. He frowned and stroked the back of his head before standing up and rounding the counter till he was next to her, he kept one hand splayed out on the counters surface, eyes mostly fixed on his hand instead of looking to the brunette. "You can't sleep in the same bed as me Freckles."_

 _It was the answer she'd expected from the very beginning because she'd very quickly noticed the space he was creating between them after SHIELD was brought down. It was partially her fault because she'd also pulled away slightly, she never did tell him where she went to go open her folder and there were plenty of times where she'd leave him or go silent because she refused to talk about her past, mostly because every time it was brought up her father would appear._

" _Friends don't normally share a bed," he tried to explain, struggling to find the right words because he didn't really want to have to do the 'sex talk' with her, he was definitely too tired for that. But Amelia continued to blink up at him, not caring for normality as it had been clear to her since she started integrating herself into human lifestyles that she would never be considered 'normal'. "Normally they'd have to be something special, more than just a friendship."_

" _I still don't get what you mean," she responded, taking a step closer towards him._

" _I mean a relationship."_

" _Well we have a relationship," for Amelia her understanding of the word was that it simply meant a connection between two people, she had no idea that Steve was talking about a certain kind of relationship. Innocently, she'd placed her hand on top of his, trying to make a display of their connection, not able to comprehend that it was the wrong time to do so._

 _Steve shook his head, eyes concentrating on her hand on top of his and not straying, not noticing how close she'd come to stand beside him. "Yes we do, but I mean a_ _ **relationship**_ _," though he put an emphasis on the word it still didn't make anything clearer to Amelia, "like the type where people love each other, and kiss, and some other stuff."_

" _Like dating?" Amelia asked, remembering they talked about something similar when Steve explained what a date was to her, back when she was imprisoned by SHIELD._

" _Yes," he said with a much more happier and less awkward tone in his voice, pleased to see she was catching on without him having to stray to even more uncomfortable subjects. He finally looked up, finally noticed that she was mere centimetres away from him, and to his dismay on instinct he gulped, a hot flush attacking him out of nowhere as his eyes dared not try to fall down to her plump lips._

 _Meanwhile, Amelia had no issue with staring into his eyes and only his eyes, unaware of the struggle that his lips would cause the moment she coined on to how hypnotic they could be. A moment she was seconds away from experiencing. "Well, we've been on a date before."_

 _Steve eyebrows knitted together, "what, when?"_

" _When I was in SHIELD's prison," she replied, still smiling, still drawing his eyes._

" _No," his voice came out quieter, his mind busy concentrating on the comparisons between two tanned marshmallows and Amelia's lips. Steve cleared his throat, throwing his eyes back up to her black ones, "no, we agreed that wasn't a date."_

 _Amelia's eyes floated upward in mock thought, her mouth raising to the side slightly which didn't go unnoticed by Steve, the small smirk making her even more captivating. "Did we?" She asked, her tone light and humorous as her eyes returned back down, memories replaying in her mind of the little 'date', then going to the kiss they'd shared in the mall. She hadn't been given the opportunity to kiss him since then but as she looked back Amelia couldn't help but notice that he was in the perfect kissing distance, all she'd have to do was lean in a little closer. "Well, do you want to go on a date?"_

 _It was like they were magnets being drawn together, and yet the moment she asked him that question so carefreely, it was like a wall of glass appeared between them, something that made him step backwards. "What?" He repeated himself, finding that he said that word quite a few times when he was with her. Amelia had asked the question with such a devil-may-care attitude, not yet having learnt it was actually a pretty big question._

 _The brunette did nothing to hide her disappointment over Steve moving away, instantly grieving at their lost opportunity to kiss. "Do you want to go on a date with me, that way we can share a bed?"_

 _A blush spread its way across his cheeks and down his neck, the feeling becoming even worse when Steve realised that Amelia had no idea what her words implied. "Freckles, we can't."_

" _Well, why not?" She huffed, hand moving away from his as she became frustrated with how confusing he was being. The solution seemed so simple to her._

 _The solution really was that simple, but it would just lead to more problems and that's why Steve had to say no. "Because neither of us are ready for that kind of relationship," he tried to explain, reaching out and taking Amelia's hands back into his grip, "to be honest, this is something I have been thinking about but you still have a lot to learn about yourself and so do I, I think a relationship right now would just get in the way." Amelia didn't respond because she didn't really have a response, he'd given her a lot to think about. With his other hand, he reached out to her other, tugging the tea towel from her hold and then throwing it down on the side, once her hand was free he held it and began to pull her body away from the counter. "Come on, you can sleep with me tonight, but_ _ **only**_ _tonight."_

" _Thank you," she expressed, much more glee brightening her tone as she followed Steve to his bed._

 _They both got ready for bed, Amelia revealing that she'd brought a pair of pyjamas and her toothbrush in preparation; together they turned off all the lights and slipped into bed, Steve laid on his back whilst Amelia was on her side, arm lazily flung on top of Steve's chest. It was scary how comfortable the two could easily be together, Steve thought as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, allowing her to place her head on top of his bicep, it made him doubt his earlier decision that they shouldn't be together yet._

 _An hour later and Steve's thumb had stopped stroking against her back, making her think that he'd lulled to sleep, but a thought was pressing on Amelia's mind, stopping her from slipping into her dreamland even with Steve by her side. "Hey," she whispered, hand sliding gently across his chest in a gentle attempt to stir him from sleep._

 _He hummed in response, too tired to find his own voice to speak._

" _What is 'love'?" Amelia asked, recalling that he'd said people who dated each other loved each other. The only time she could ever remember hearing the word love was when her father would say it to her, as a younger being he would often sit with her in bed and stroke his hand through her hair, letting her cry into his lap and he'd repeatedly tell her he loved her, as though that would right all the wrongs that happened to her. She didn't think that was love. Amelia refused to believe that was love._

" _You want to know what I think love is?" Steve replied, clearing his throat from the sleep that made it sound much more huskier than usual. Amelia didn't mind it though, she actually got a ripening of something quite similar to joy when she heard him speak with such a voice._

" _Yeah," she continued to whisper, not because it was night time, but because she didn't want Pierce to hear their private conversation, "please."_

 _For a while Steve was silent, taking so long that Amelia presumed he'd actually fallen back asleep but it turned out he was just thinking. Eventually, she gave up waiting and allowed herself to slip into a state where her mind felt empty but she was still awake, knowing eventually she'd actually fall into a slumber._

" _Love is a lot of things," he began, making her open her eyes and look to him, only able to see a silhouette of his features in the darkness, "a feeling of complete trust for a companion, love is a promise that can't be broken, love is a thought that you won't forget, love is taking someone's broken pieces and not just fixing them, but making them better. Love is taking a person as they are, and loving their flaws and imperfections. Because flaws are unique, and flaws are meant to be cherished. Love is never giving up, even when you've been kicked down so many times you can barely get up, love is a feeling of compassion, love is understanding your partner's feelings and emotions, and accepting the person exactly as they are. Love is…"_ _ **the feeling I have for you**_ _. Perhaps if Steve hadn't let all his concerns and worries get to him, he would have actually finished that sentence. Perhaps he would have enough courage to actually admit that then and there, he was in love with Amelia._

" _Do you think we could ever be in love?" Her next question had less thought put into it, just a simple curiosity she let slip out in her sleepy haze._

 _Steve berated himself quite a bit after that night, knowing that he shouldn't have replied with what he did, shouldn't have filled her with false hope, but he was tired too and he was hopeful and he wasn't overthinking for once. "Yeah," he leaned his forward and pressed a tender kiss to her forehead, "one day."_

 _And then they both fell asleep, wrapped in one another's arms._

The night after she returned to the Avenger's tower went mostly the same. Before anything could happen between them Steve stepped away and they both went to bed, wrapped up in each other's arms.

Morning came later for the pair because Steve didn't get up to do his usual morning run. He would have, had he not been plagued with concerns that he'd just dreamed Amelia came back, when he saw that she was still next to him pressed up against his side, he wrapped his arms around her and kept her close.

The pair remained in bed for another three hours until Jarvis chimed in to tell them breakfast had been served.

Though neither one of them wanted to face her brother after everything that had occurred the previous day, they still promised to help Thor and they needed to tell them that they'd decided to go to the base after all. Steve helped keep her positive by touching her every moment he could. Placing his hand onto her back and rubbing circles as they brushed their teeth together, reaching out and caressing her hand with his whenever they passed each other, and holding hers as they walked up the stairs back to the dining room. The only time he didn't touch her was when they were stood in front of Tony because Steve didn't need his questions and sassy remarks.

"Sorry I left so suddenly last night," Amelia apologised, taking a seat beside Pepper and quickly grabbing a hold of some croissants, dropping them on to her plate. "Something came up."

Tony, who looked much better and much soberer than he had the previous night, sat glumly in his seat, head in his hand, "oh it's fine, not like we were talking about anything important. It certainly didn't make us more suspicious of you."

"Tony," Pepper hissed, apparently doing something under the table which had him jumping and sitting straighter in his seat, a pained expression scrunching up his features.

He sighed, relenting, but not apologising. "Well, I called in some reinforcements that should arrive soon."

As if the heaven's had organised it, the elevator dinged and opened up, revealing to Amelia one familiar redhead and a brown haired male who went by the name of Clint Barton.

"Well look what the cat dragged in," Amelia called out, standing up from her seat and making her way over to the pair that had just entered.

"I know right, a sight for sore eyes?" Natasha opened her eyes widely, pointing to herself with a wide toothy smile on her face.

"Sore eyes," Amelia repeated, "yeah, that seems very fitting."

"Oh shut up," the redhead playfully reached out and slapped at brunette's arm, Amelia quickly retaliating with a slap of her own and soon enough the two were having a mock fight which ended with Natasha holding her head in a choke hold. Amelia patted her hand against Natasha's arm until she relented and dropped her to the ground. And then, they hugged.

Meanwhile Tony looked on with wide eyes, his confusion causing him to blink and rub at his eyes, not entirely sure what he'd just seen. Thor had been watching the fight merrily, used to seeing such shows of combat whenever a celebration occurred in Asgard.

"I'd come say hello, but I'm scared you'll try and fight me next," Tony commented as everyone stood up and greeted Natasha and Clint, Nat simply waved her hand at him in disregard, explaining it was a girl thing between the two of them which seemed to satiate Tony enough that he was able to stand near her without feeling any imminent doom.

Once all the 'hello's were over and done with everyone returned to breakfast, taking full advantage of the large spread Tony and Pepper had set up. Amelia found she had some new competition as Thor was managing to eat a larger portion than her, soon enough an unspoken challenge began, the two scoffing more and more, faster and faster. "Is this everyone?" Clint asked, hypnotised as his eyes moved between the Asgardian and the brunette.

"Bruce is here trying to get a reading on Loki's scepter," Pepper explained before drinking a sip of coffee from a small, pristine white, cup. "He's in the lab right now."

"And he didn't come say hello?" Natasha feigned offence, a poised smile on her lips showing the news that Bruce was there had actually made her quite happy.

"He doesn't think he'll be staying long," Tony explained, though the expression on his face said that he knew something different.

"I might as well drop in and say hi myself, then." The redhead stood from the chair and walked back over to the elevator, Steve watching his friend with a knowing look on his face.

* * *

 **A/N: Hello, again sorry the crappy chapter yesterday. My plan was that I'd publish this one along with it but because I'm updating a chapter a day I had to wait. Anyway, a lil moment from their year together cause why not.**

 **Next chapter we get to see peoples reactions to 'the naughty pit' so yeah look forward to that!**

 **To Random Person, thank you so much!**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, I really appreciate your offer, thank you. And thank you for the compliments on the chapter.**

 **To JohnnyStormsGirl, I'm giving as much as I can! Also, love the username.**

 **To BigBangVIP, glad you enjoyed it, hope you enjoyed this one :)**

 **To Sam0728, it's understandable forgetting about Ultron. Age of Ultron isn't the greatest movie, I'm hoping with this I can make it a lil bit more interesting but I dunno. And I'm glad you're enjoying the story so much!**

 **To , ohmygodthankyousomuch, and ikr, the world just doesn't feel the same anymore! Thanks for the review :)**

 **And a BIG thanks to everyone that read the chapter! Hope lifes going alright.**


	24. Chapter Twenty-Two

_**Flashbacks are in italics**_

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 **CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO**

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" _ **The best thing you could do is master the chaos in you. You are not thrown into the fire. You are the fire." ―**_ _ **Mama Indigo**_

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Whilst most of the Avenger's had dressed up in suits - Steve in his usual red, blue and white, Tony in his Iron Man suit, Natasha in a black body suit, Thor in the same clothes he'd arrived in (red cape and all), and Clint in the most casual ensemble that still helped him in battle - Amelia didn't have anything to put on, so she just dressed in comfortable clothes and put a gun in the pocket of her leather jacket, just in case there actually was anyone left at the base who planned on making things a little harder for them.

The brunette had continued to apologise profusely in case it turned out to be a lost cause but Steve consistently pushed her comments aside, there was the odd comment from Tony but he went ignored for the most part, the group far too used to his backhanded comments to really take them to heart.

At the back of the quinjet that they were using to travel to Hydra's base, Steve was sat with Natasha observing the way Amelia was interacting with Thor. "Our girls all grown up," Nat commented quietly, feeling somewhat like a proud mother as she watched the Asgardian smile joyfully at something Amelia had said.

"Yeah," Steve replied. Suddenly he leaned back in his seat, moving closer to Natasha as he crossed his arms over his chest, speaking in a much lower voice so that he didn't need to worry about someone like Tony overhearing him, "but I'm worried about her, she's stopped putting up a fight like she used to, she just sits back and lets Tony talk to her like she's a monster."

Much to Steve's confusion Natasha rolled her eyes, moving to sit in the same position as him, "she's not stopped fighting," it was hard for the redhead to think of the right words to say. Nat was able to understand easily because she'd had to go through something similar, whereas Steve was only able to get an outsiders understanding of the situation. "She's just trying to not prove him right. He says she does nothing but fight and kill, so she's showing him she does other things, like crack jokes with a god. Freckles has always been a fighter, that hasn't changed."

The redhead's words hadn't helped soothe all of Steve's concerns but they'd built up his trust a little bit more, or rather, made him berate himself for not trusting her as much as he should have been doing. He wasn't sure why things had suddenly become so different compared to their year together, maybe it was because other things were happening that wouldn't let them play pretend anymore. That was a thought which had his concern growing even more, that perhaps, in the real world, they just wouldn't be able to make it together.

It was hard for him to think that way when he looked back at her and saw the glowing expression on her face, because, despite his concerns, he still felt his heart ripen whenever he looked at her. And maybe that would be enough.

It took less than an hour for the group to reach their desired location in Washington. The base was hidden just on the outskirts, within an old piece of land that was pretty much abandoned, of course not completely as there were many signs of life. As Amelia guided the group underneath a bridge, the grey cement walls were brought to life by numerous pieces of graffiti that mixed in with the green life that sprang from cracks in the ground. Though cars whizzed by on top of the bridge, it felt like the group were on a different planet, separate from everyone else in the world.

Amelia continued to walk in front of everyone, eventually coming to a stop in front of a wall shrouded in vines and litter. "This is it," she announced as she kicked away the pile of litter, and it wasn't until she pulled away some of the vines that covered the wall before her that they realised it wasn't simply a wall in front of them. As she held up the vines she looked to Steve for his help, a wordless conversation passed between them and he replaced her hand on the vines so she could use both her hands to push on the heavy cement door.

It opened slowly, dust and worn rocks falling on top of her as she pressed with all her weight. She kept her hands on it and signalled with her head for everyone to walk in. "I do love a secret door," Tony commented as they all passed through, not considering the fact that Hydra agents might have been wandering around inside like how she had. It was useless trying to keep quiet in the end as once the door was released it creaked shut, the sound amplifying itself in the darkness that eventually surrounded itself.

Once it came to a loud close lights overhead switched on, the buzzing sound was louder than their breaths and it caused a headache to attack the front of Amelia's mind. She'd never thought a headache could feel familiar.

At the end of the narrow hallway they'd entered was an iron door with a fingerprint scanner beside it. As though it was a ritual she never could quit she raced her way down to the end of the corridor, hating the small space and finding it unbearable. Only Nat and Steve knew about her dislike for small spaces, though they didn't know where it began and that's something she was praying would remain a secret after their expedition. She placed her thumb on the fingerprint scanner but it only made a rejecting sound.

"Oh come on," she hissed, feeling her heart begin to race inside her chest. Amelia tried her thumb again, and again, until her rage took over and she took out the small knife from her jean pocket and stabbed at the walls device.

Steve walked up behind her, recognising what signs she was showing as panic. He placed his hand on her back and rubbed against it, wishing he could do more but knowing he shouldn't when Tony was watching. "What's wrong?"

"They deleted my fingerprint, I can't get us through the door." Amelia's words came out harsher than they meant to, she wasn't meaning to take out her anger on Steve, but she had to expel some of the frustration. On instinct she wanted to scream, wanted to bash her hands against the walls, praying one of the hits would be enough to break them down and free her from the prison. As Steve's hands caressed her back she forced her mind to concentrate on his touch rather than the walls that seemed to be closing in. "I'm sorry." She wasn't just apologising for not being able to get them in.

He began to push on her back, pushing her to the side. "Tony, blast it open."

"Aye aye, Captain."

And with that, stealth was out the window. Using his repulsors, Tony shot out a blue beam which sent the door flying back and over a railing outside the door, it fell down six floors before crashing onto the ground. They all jumped through the newly opened doorway, weapons at the ready to fight off whatever agents may come their way but nothing came. Once the echo of the doors landing softened to nothing there was no other sound, no footsteps, no orders being yelled.

It was weird for Amelia, to see the place so quiet, so empty. She could still remember it all, the Hydra agents walking in groups, sometimes she'd look over the railing and watch some agents training on the floor below but when she looked down in present time all she saw were spores of dust floating underneath the fluorescent light after being pushed by the doors intrusion. The smell of the underground always hit her when she got back but it would soon disappear after an hour or so of getting used to it.

The fact that it was empty should have cheered her up but instead of that she only felt dismayed, at least if there was someone there then they'd be able to torture that person for information. With it being empty it wasn't likely they'd find any clues which would help them get to Loki's scepter. It was just one big waste of time.

The rest of the team joined her by the rail, looking down and inspecting what was visible. There were six floors in total with around three to eight rooms on each floor dependant on the size of the room. The place almost seemed like it was built to be a prison, with steel gates in front of every room.

And for Amelia, it was a prison. At some point in her life they would have trapped her in one of the rooms, some rooms she'd be locked in with others and it varied from time to time whether they were dead or alive. And those were the easiest memories for her to face, it was what belonged on the bottom floor that had a shiver electrocuting her spine.

Amelia remained silent, not trusting her voice to stay steady in the face of her old home.

"Right, let's each take a floor and look around, if you find anything interesting or need help, call for it," Steve commanded, getting straight to the point.

No one brought up any issues or any disagreements, most taking the stairs whilst Tony jumped off the side and flew down to the bottom, much to Amelia's dismay. "I want the third floor," she demanded before anyone else could pick their floor, whilst she had hoped to get the first one, there was something far more important on the third floor. Really she didn't know why she was trying so hard to keep things from the rest of the group seen as they'd be able to discover a lot of AS09's life from any of the rooms, there were just two particular rooms she didn't really want being explored.

The soldier watched Amelia carefully, trying to read from her expression what exactly was going through her head and whilst he couldn't discern what exactly she was scared of, he could sense her fear from the slight frown that dipped the edges of her lips downward. He could at least guess at what she was scared of, being back at the place where most of her tortures happened was the most obvious one. And he was already aware of how uncomfortable she got when it came to sharing details of her past. It was a big jump from completely avoiding the subject to taking them to a place where that very subject would be on display, she had every right to be scared but he was making it a point to not say anything that would make her run off like she usually did.

"Okay," he responded, following her down the nearest staircase to the floor below. He parted ways with her there, allowing her to go down to the third floor whilst he remained on the fourth. Thor took the second, whilst Clint and Natasha inspected the fifth and sixth.

She went left, walking around the circularly shaped hallway, remembering clearly that it was the fastest route to her bedroom.

Seated on her bed was Alexander Pierce, hands clasped in his lap, an expectant expression on his face as well as a sinister smile but Amelia chose to ignore him.

As she'd expected her room had been torn through, most likely by Hydra agents who were checking there was nothing important that she'd left lying about her bedroom which could have potentially given clues to any intruders who'd wandered in. But other than it looking like a hurricane had torn through, the room was exactly the same as she remembered. Her single bed was pressed against the wall to her right, at the end of it was a torn up mannequin with wooden weapons sprawled out beneath it. The left of her room was covered in papers which had been torn off her wall, a wall she'd spent twenty-five years covering up with notes, scribbles, and eventually, different fighting methods she could look at whilst training.

Before she'd left for the final time her wall had been completely covered by her training notes, all signs of her childhood completely covered but they were all on show now. It was surprisingly sad to see the scribbles and drawings she'd done during her childhood, whilst some were innocently looking enough she could recognise the ones that showed dead bodies or blood, the colours black and red covering up more of the pages than any other colours.

"I find this one to be the most interesting one," Pierce finally spoke up, his voice far too loud for her comfort, though she knew no one else would be able to hear him, her subconscious couldn't help but be alarmed. Amelia looked to see where Pierce had been staring and saw a piece of crumpled paper peeking out from underneath a pile of training notes.

Following his direction she pulled it out from underneath the pile, inspecting the paper. Taking up most of the page was a sentence scrawled out in messy handwriting, clearly it was rushed and she'd gone over the words multiple times so that they were thicker and larger. What was the most harrowing for Amelia though, was that she had no memory of writing it.

'DON'T LET THEM MAKE YOU FORGET'.

She read it over again, and again, and again. She had no recollection of writing that note, clearly that meant she'd forgotten. But what exactly had she forgotten?

Amelia turned the page around, allowing Pierce to look it over, "what happened?" She interrogated, her tone demanding.

He smirked and shrugged his shoulders, "you tell me."

It was stupid for her to expect a proper answer from the man who loved to torture her, that would just make things too easy. So instead she silently turned back to the picture, choosing to avoid speaking to Pierce, hoping that if she ignored him enough that eventually he'd get bored and just stop appearing. It had been over a year and that method hadn't worked yet, but she didn't really know what else she could do.

She didn't know what he was, a ghost, a demon, just her imagination. He seemed so real, he even smelt the same. And Amelia knew that until she could figure out what he was there wasn't a large chance that she'd be able to stop him from being there, and yet she hadn't told anyone that she'd been seeing him. It was partly because she was ashamed, partly because she didn't want anyone else to have to deal with him, partly because she felt weak.

After doing further inspections on the paper there was nothing else for her to discern other than that something happened, something bad.

At first, Amelia felt clueless, and then she remembered the scientist that had mentioned 2012. After the car crash a year ago she woke up back in Hydra's hands with her powers being uncontrollable, that was the first and last time she experienced her powers change. It was also the first time that someone mentioned the year 2012 to her, she shouldn't have let it go back then, Amelia should have worked harder to find out whatever secrets were being withheld, but she refused to let it go this time, especially if it had something to do with the absurd behaviour her powers had displayed after the crash.

She'd lost all control of her powers and the usual white light that surrounded her fingers when she used it had turned black and covered the entire surface of her form, when she got threatened her powers acted out without her needing to order them, tentacles reaching out and cutting a soldier's hand. Apparently her powers had also been the reason for her miraculous recovery as she'd made it out of the car crash with barely any scars despite logic stating she should be dead. Pierce had been just as curious about the sudden change as she was, but the only explanation either of them got was that it was 'similar to what happened in 2012', whilst Pierce had accepted the answer, she remained clueless on what that meant and with the appearance of the note, Amelia's curiosity had grown.

Since then she'd seen no sign of change in her powers, even as she'd practised and developed them, the energy always remained white and she always had control. After a while, she'd forgotten all about the unusual behaviour of her abilities.

And maybe she should have just let it go, labelled it as another torture that she had to forget, but then another _stupid_ part of her had grown to become hopeful in the face of things like these (a part of her she blamed Steve for) and she thought that maybe there was a chance of redemption hidden in what she'd forgotten. Maybe it would supply her with the power to finally stop feeling guilty for everything.

Steve constantly told her that whilst she'd done bad things it wasn't entirely her fault, even her therapist was saying she needed to forgive herself, but they hadn't experienced what she had. They hadn't been the one pulling all those triggers, inserting all those knives, taking all those lives. The guilt was always with her, as familiar and as constant as Pierce was.

With a sigh of frustration she stopped thinking, stopped trying to talk herself out of finding out what happened.

"Move your legs," Amelia ordered Pierce as she got down to her knees and reached under her bed which he was sat on, pulling out a grey backpack which she placed the paper inside of. And then, whilst still on the floor, she went through every single piece of paper, throwing aside any notes on how to kill or fight and putting in her bag notes that got a little bit more personal.

Even though they didn't provide her with anything she placed in her bag all the notes she'd made when practising her handwriting, they were the only relic she had of her lost childhood.

Meanwhile the Avengers continued their search, most coming up empty. Amelia ignored most of what they were saying because she already knew what they'd find and what rooms each Avenger would go in. Thor had taken the floor that had the kitchen and the dining room, the most he would find were recipes for all the bland meals she had to eat and maybe Hydra's alcohol stash they'd bring out for celebrations. They never cooked her anything extravagant or gave her alcohol, each meal was made to supply her with all the vitamins she needed and that's all they concerned themselves with when it came to the food.

There was a possibility Natasha would find something as she was on the floor with the meeting room which was where they'd explain missions to her. But other than that the rest of the rooms were offices (if they were really lucky then they could probably find something on the computers, but she highly doubted they'd do something as silly as forgetting to completely wipe a computer) and training grounds, the odd napping room for any agents who needed it.

Because of her forcing ignorance, she missed the moment when Steve said he would go help Tony on the first floor, having only found the break room and emptied out storage rooms. Though it had been interesting to see that even Hydra agents enjoyed the odd Cosmopolitan magazine (which had him wondering if anyone working at the magazine worked for Hydra) he'd decided he could be put to much better use on a different floor.

Amelia had just finished packing her bag with the last few pieces of paper when Steve called her name through the earpiece, making her finally pay attention to the words being exchanged by the group. "Yeah," she said to let him know she was listening.

"We found a weird room," Cap began to explain, making her freeze what she was doing and despite her better judgement her eyes rose up to Alexander's and remained there as he mouthed the words 'they've found it'. "It's empty except for this something that looks like a basement door, is there another floor?"

Before she could reply Tony was speaking, making a decision without bothering to take her advice, "I'm just going to open it, get ready if anything jumps out."

"No," she cried out in panic, but she already knew that no matter what she said Tony wouldn't listen to her, he simply didn't trust her enough. Leaving the backpack on her bed, she ran out of the doorway and straight over the railing so she would fall straight down to the ground floor. White energy wrapped around her feet, making her descent slow down enough so that when she landed the force didn't cause any aches.

It was just one room, she trivialised, it was just one room with one hole in a ground. But no matter how much she simplified it, she couldn't stop that one room from being her deepest and ugliest scar, the kind of scar you didn't want people to see.

She'd prepared herself for it the entire way to the base, told herself that it was time for her to confront it as well as have Steve learn about it. But she'd gotten distracted with the papers, and now it just _wasn't the right time_ , she wasn't ready for Steve to see it. Would she ever be? Could anyone ever really be ready to have someone see an embodiment of the worst part of their humanity?

Amelia reached the room in under ten seconds but it was already too late, before she could even enter the room she heard the creak of the door being opened, iron stroking iron. And then there was the smell, she daren't think about the specifics, knowing they were all smells caused by her remaining in that hole for weeks.

 _She blinked her eyes open. Only, she wasn't sure if she was actually opening them as the space around AS09 remained black. Then it clicked. "No." The word fell from her lips, feeble and meagre but she had no other words for the darkness that surrounded her. "No," she repeated again, louder, trying to defy the surrounding darkness and the press of cold stone rough against her skin. "No." She pushed at the walls with her hands, knowing they would not move but trying anyway, again and again. "No! No! No! No!"_

 _She tried to fill the silence with her own voice, tried to continue saying 'no', trying to refuse her current situation by sacrificing her voice. Maybe it was hours later, or just a few minutes, but eventually her voice would turn into a rasp that could barely be heard and the silence would take over in those moments. When it did get silent, that's when she'd hear them. The screams. All the screams. They filled her ears at first as a ringing noise, before growing louder and louder and louder, and soon enough her own screams would be mixed in with all the anguished cries of those she'd killed because she needed to do something to drown them out. It hurt to remember._

 _AS09 never could tell how much time had passed, sometimes it felt like she'd been in there for years. The only true testament that any time had actually passed was when the door would open. Light would filter in, burning her eyes at first but the warmth reminded her of what freedom felt like and she wanted it more than a starving predator wanted food. Once the pain faded she'd see her father, always her father. He'd have a grimace on his face as he looked down at her, as though she disgusted him more than anything else in the world. "What are you?" He would ask the question every time and only that question._

" _I am me," she defied, roaring the answer as mightily as she could because, despite the pain that ached in her legs and the way her skin burned from rubbing against the broken concrete so much, she didn't want to lose herself again._

 _The door closed and she was left to the darkness once more. But, it was what laid within the darkness that had the worst effect on her._

When she entered the room - the first time after over a year - the door to the torture pit was open and Tony was leaning down to look inside, Steve had bent back a little, covering his nose, obviously being attacked by the smell the moment the door had been opened.

 _Cold. Tired. Broken. "I am me," she tried to repeat it but the words were beginning to feel foreign, like she wasn't saying them right, even when she said them to her father, the words felt wrong._

It was strange, Amelia had never observed the hole from the outside; she had only ever peered up from within the suffocating abyss but now the glaring white light had penetrated the hole, subduing the darkness that she had spent so much of her time in. Before it was filled with the eyes of the innocent lives she had so viciously stamped out but now all she could see was fractured walls blanketed with her own dried blood and deep wounds that she had carved out with her own nails.

 _What was she? She couldn't remember anymore. All she knew was that she was in pain, and she smelt, and she was being deafened by the screams._

She just couldn't look away from it, she couldn't step any closer towards it and she also couldn't step away. Fear was clear on her face, her eyes wide and glistening and stuck on the pit as though any second a hand would reach out and hold her in an unyielding grasp, pulling her back into the pit where she would never escape from.

 _She opened her eyes, or maybe she closed them, and she saw in front of her slits opening in the darkness to reveal eyes. Green eyes. Blue eyes. Brown eyes. Grey eyes. They all stared at her unblinkingly. AS09 knew them, knew their judgement, as well as she did the back of her own hand. They were coming for her. All the people she killed. She was susceptible in that darkness and they were_ _ **coming for her**_ _._

 _Hands began to reach out, clasping around her body. Around her throat. She couldn't breathe. She was dying. They were killing her. The darkness was killing her. The confined space was killing her. She'd never get out, there was never an option of getting out._

 _Hands. Eyes. Throat. Darkness. So much darkness._ _ **So much pain.**_

"What is it?" Steve choked out, confused to find just a random hole in the ground, it wasn't until he finally turned to inspect Amelia that he realised that the hole could be anything more. Her black eyes were wide open, eyes matching the feelings pumping through her veins: dark and cold. "Freckles?" He called, trying to get through whatever haze she'd become lost in.

 _Weak. Weak. Weak. That's all she was._

Amelia couldn't help but dig her nails back into her palm, opening up the wound again and digging deeper, drawing as much blood as she could. That was the pain that she could control. Steve noticed the movement, noticed the drop of blood that fell to the grey concrete floor, and despite Tony's presence he stepped closer and uncurled her fingers so he could wrap his hand around hers and squeeze it himself, not too hard, just enough for her to know he was there.

With the newfound contact, the fuzz that had taken over Amelia's vision seemed to disappear, the darkness she was remembering transforming into something much, _much,_ more pleasant.

 _An elevator ride, it was such a simple task for everyone else. Amelia and Steve had to go through it, and it only lasted two seconds, but it had Freckles thoroughly shaken in no time. She returned to hers and Steve's motel room silent, her heavy breathing making plenty of noise. Steve walked behind her, not sure whether he should be keeping an appropriate distance between them or hugging her, either way, he knew she didn't want to publicly show any weakness so he allowed her to rush back to their room where he could then try and figure out the proper way to help her._

 _Once they were inside she dumped herself onto the motel's stained cream couch and held her head in her hands, keeping her eyes open wide and trying her best not to blink because then she'd see the darkness again. And if she saw the darkness she'd see the eyes. And if she saw the eyes she'd feel the hands. Panic rose even higher in her, the same way tsunamis hit cities and left them devastated._

 _But she couldn't sit still. She had to keep moving around, appreciating the space she had around her. She stood up again and she clasped her hands tightly. Control. That's what she needed. But then she also needed water because her throat felt dry. And she was hungry because they'd had a long trip. And the electric lights from the outside had given her a headache with all the buzzing they did, she needed painkillers. And also the darkness, that was another thing, it was dark out, were the eyes in the night sky as well? Where was she safe? Was she ever safe?_

 _Hands came into contact with her shoulder and she flinched, energy pushing from around her form to throw the hands away._

" _Hey, it's me." Steve's voice, she heard it through the fog of panic and darkness. So much darkness. "Freckles? Tell me what's wrong, tell me what I can do to help."_

 _He was concerned, she could hear it in his voice. But she couldn't tell him what was wrong, because then he'd know about the pit, and then he'd know how easily she'd break, and then he'd realise that she willingly did all those murders because she was so weak that she couldn't handle being in a hole for more than a week. She looked up into his eyes, such a rare blue that she'd never seen before, none of her victims had that shade of blue. They were a special colour._

 _Amelia didn't say anything, just stared at him helplessly, telling him with her stare that she wouldn't tell him why. He sighed, head falling slightly, and then he caught sight of her clenched hands as well as the blood falling from them. Steve frowned, reaching out carefully, slowly, looking at her face to make sure she wasn't flinching, and then he uncurled her fingers and embraced her hands with his._

" _You need to stop doing that," he mumbled, rubbing his thumb across the back of her hand and trying to offer as much comfort as he could, "hurting yourself. It's not healthy, and I don't like seeing you hurt."_

 _She shrugged her shoulders, feeling lost and slightly overthrown by his care (she never could get used to being cared about so much), "it's a habit."_

" _Why do you do it?"_

 _Steve hadn't expected an answer, Amelia heaved out a heavy exhale of air and he'd expected their conversation to end there but to his surprise, she spoke more. "Control," she surmised, choosing to continue when one of Steve's eyebrows perked up, his blue eyes asking for her to continue even though they remained fixated on her hands in his. "I don't know if it's the pain or the causing of the pain, but it makes me feel like I'm here, that I'm alive. I'm not being tortured by someone else or in the… It just helps me feel like I've got control over me."_

 _Steve didn't comment on the slip up she'd made. It was quite clear she'd been about to mention something but had chosen to withhold it. He wasn't going to budge her then, she was clearly going through an ordeal and he didn't want to make it worse by being persistent so instead he chose to ask about it later. Another day. That's what they said about most things to do with her past, that they'd talk about it on another day._

" _Well, you need a new habit because this one sucks." He raised up her hand and kissed the back of it, giving her hand the love it deserved after being punished so cruelly all because of her habit. "How about instead of digging your fingers into your hand, you hold mine instead?" Steve raised their intertwined hands up in front of her face, as though she needed to see a demonstration._

" _What?" The notion seemed preposterous at first._

" _And then you can squeeze mine, as hard as you want." He had a small, proud, smile on his face as his eyes connected with hers once again. He could see her reluctance at the notion, she didn't want to hurt him. "Don't worry about squeezing too tight and hurting me, I'm a super soldier remember. You can't break me, Freckles."_

She cleared her throat, trying to rid herself of the anxiety she felt. The brunette squeezed his offered hand tightly, feeling the warm skin beneath her fingers and allowing it to remind her that she was _there_ , with Steve, not inside the pit, alone and cold and aching, but alive and not alone anymore.

"It's where they'd put me if I ever misbehaved," her voice fell numbly from her shaking lips, the words feeling lame and unworthy, but Amelia didn't know enough vocabulary to share with Steve the horrors she'd endured in the pit. Those walls reminded her of rotting fruit, jagged roots from a leafless tree and bloodshot eyes. Those walls reminded her of what it felt like to be dead.

But she didn't really need words, the evidence was there for them all to see. The hole wasn't wide enough for someone to sit down inside, making it clear that whilst in there Amelia was forced to stand up for the entire time. The stone walls were extremely torn apart, most of the walls scars appeared where Amelia's upper body would be, whereas the bottom half of the walls were covered in a substance they were all able to guess but daren't speak about. It may not have been able to show all the hours of horrors Amelia endured in the pit, but it showed at least half of it, and that was enough to make both Steve and Tony feel sick to their stomachs.

Thankfully, Tony dropped the steel door shut. What Amelia didn't realise was that that was the first time his brother ever _saw_ her. Beneath the uncoordinated scratches he had spotted the words 'I am me' carved into the wall, and when it was revealed that she was the one who'd been inside the pit, his walls collapsed. It was hard to refuse that she'd gone through pain and had truly endured torture when the evidence was clearly in front of him.

"For how long?" Her brother asked, tone cold and for the first time completely serious.

Amelia's eyes drifted to his mask for only a second before dropping back down to the pit, she felt unsure at his sudden change of tone, it was so out of character for the man she'd gotten to know over the past two days. He almost sounded protective of her, but that didn't make sense. "Sometimes just hours," she mumbled, and as she breathed the air she exhaled came out stuttered, tears disobeying her and running down her cheeks, "sometimes weeks. They'd keep me in there as long as they needed to, until I'd..."

"Until you what?" Tony pushed, voice sounding as pained as hers.

"Until I'd break."

Amelia didn't cry often. After leaving her father she'd chosen to become stronger, to never shed a tear over any of the cruelties he put her through ever again. That moment ended up being an exception.

Steve moved closer and Amelia gratefully dropped her head into his arms, allowing him to cradle her body and hide her tears from the world.

Among a world of confusion, repetitive heartbreak and memories made out of rose thorns, Steve Rogers was something solid for her to lean against, Steve Rogers was her rose. "It's okay," he said, repeating the lie over and over in her ear until she was able to believe it.

"But you still put up a fight," Tony broke through the small moment Steve and Amelia were having, taking off his mask so that he could look his sister in the eyes. Brown meeting brown, both pairs of orbs soaking in tears that only one of them had allowed to slip passed. It was shocking for both the brunette to hear and see the confidence in his words, the usual narcissistic confidence replaced by something far more significant, something far more caring. He wanted her to hear his words, really hear them, and she did.

Then, like a switch, Tony reverted back to his old self, trying to clear some of the tension in the room. "And besides, you survived a lot longer than I would have. Ten minutes in there and I'd have broken."

It felt like every muscle on Amelia's face took part in producing her smile, her skin stretching like a supple yoga enthusiast as she wiped away the rest of her tears. She knew what her brother had said wasn't true, She'd read about his story and had Steve recite some of his own personal interactions, multiple times. She knew he was a good man. A brave man.

Before he was Iron Man he wasn't the best kind of person, but Amelia couldn't judge on that because she used to be AS09. Then he had been abducted by terrorists, watched young soldiers die in front of him, watched as a stranger performed surgery on his own body, lived three months in captivity knowing he could be killed at any moment, not knowing if anyone was looking for him. And after that traumatic event in his life, he was betrayed by one of his closest friends that cared more about money and weapons. And after all that, all that pain, the very thing that was keeping shrapnel from going into his heart, the very thing keeping him alive, ended up poisoning his body. Amelia had read about all this and doubted her own ability to survive such things and still be the way she was afterwards, but Steve had told her despite everything he still had the courage to fly a nuke into a black hole, saving all of New York and almost sacrificing himself. Steve told her that her brother, Tony Stark, was the best defence Earth had.

The man had gone through too much to be okay, but he was, he was getting through every single day being okay. _He was a hero_.

"Did you guys find anything yet?" Clint asked through the earcomm, disrupting the emotional moment they were all sharing and bringing their minds back to the mission at hand.

Steve raised up one hand to press against his earcomm, "no, keep on looking." He only told them that because he didn't want anyone else coming down and seeing the room, it was clearly something Amelia wanted to keep private. "What about you, did you find anything?" Steve asked, looking down at the brunette who remained in his arms. He'd have moved away because of Tony but the soldier hated to see her cry, not even the might of God would drag him away from her as long as there were tears falling from her eyes.

Amelia shook her head, trying to concentrate back on the mission despite her brain corrupting every thought with images of the pits darkness and what it beheld. She looked over to the doorway, trying to think of anything they could have missed, and standing in the doorway was none other than Alexander Pierce, he had one arm raised, pointing to across from where they stood at an empty wall. She tried to remember what was across from her torture room, struggling more than usual as she rarely ever visited the ground floor in order to stay away from the torture pit.

"You remember you said you liked secret doors?" She asked her brother, pulling away reluctantly from Steve's arms and walking over to the wall Pierce was silently pointing to. Amelia used her hands to search it. Unbothered by the dust and cobwebs, she stroked against the wall until she felt a breeze press against the palm of her hand.

Tony looked at Steve but the soldier just shrugged. _Both_ of them trusted her and allowed her to continue working her hands across the wall, becoming more and more curious as white energy danced from her fingers and wrapped around a door-like shape in the wall. Amelia stood back and slowly pushed her hands forward, the wall suddenly opening up and revealing a room.

It was an office of some sort. The walls were lined with bookshelves and in the middle there was a large oak desk, the room had also been ransacked by Hydra agents, the scattered papers and books on the floor being evidence of that.

Amelia walked inside, eyes roaming the room she had never seen before. Except, she had. At the back of her mind, a memory thrummed, but it was blocked by something she just couldn't seem to get past. She turned back to the desk, being met by a younger looking Alexander Pierce sat opposite a younger looking AS09. It was clear from the state of AS09 she'd just gone through an ordeal, but it wasn't from the pit, something similar to ash seemed to be coating her body and she had a haunted look in her eyes. The image was gone in a flash though Amelia tried to keep a hold of it, tried to remember anything else.

On the largest wall behind the oak desk was a giant art piece which depicted Pierce himself, that led to the trio all coming to the conclusion that it was Pierce's office.

"Scan the room, Jarvis," Tony ordered as he stepped further inside, pulling his helmet back on and watching a diagram appear of the room appear. Nothing seemed out of place except for one thing, behind the painting was a safe. He quickly clambered over the mess of the floor to get to it, pulling down the painting and pushing it aside carelessly, he didn't bother asking Amelia for the code, working quietly and quickly to open it. "Bingo," he cried once he'd pulled the door of the safe open, finding it full of many things, things Hydra hadn't apparently known about.

Amelia walked around as well to join her brother's side, inspecting the safe herself and seeing what sorts of things her father had decided to hide not only from her but other Hydra agents. There was a gun he obviously kept there to keep himself safe, placed underneath the gun was a pile of papers which she grabbed first, allowing Tony to grab the flash drive on the bottom shelf which was clearly more important as it could have held a treasure trove of information.

"Those were my favourite drawings of yours," Pierce explained as she began to flick through the different drawings, recognising the art style as that of her younger self's. As she looked over her shoulder to eye Pierce, she was instead met with Steve's calming blue eyes looking over her shoulder at the discernable sketches in her hand. They were mostly of the things she saw, different Hydra agents, her and Pierce holding hands, there was the odd one of food (back when one of the rewards for her good behaviour was a meal that actually tasted nice).

She scrunched up the drawings in her hands and threw them down on the floor. They weren't as precious to her as the handwriting practice sheets she'd stored in her grey backpack because all of those drawings were just manipulations of Pierce, his treasures, her decaying bones.

Further inspection of the base came up empty but it didn't matter, they had Pierce's flash drive and Tony was sure it'd at least be something, definitely more than they'd had over the last few months searching for the scepter but Amelia wasn't sure if he was just saying that to cheer her up.

They were all walking out of the base when Amelia stopped, one foot outside the base and another still inside. Steve was the first one to notice her pausing and so he turned back around, joining her, "everything okay?"

She bit the inside of her lip nervously, a thought probing her mind, "I think I need to do something before I leave. Would you mind waiting for me?"

"Is it something dangerous?" Her soldier asked, causing a smile to appear on her lips but she continued to look down and Steve knew she was withholding something from him again, "please tell me what you're doing."

Her eyes rose up to his blue eyes, meeting his concern and even though she knew it would be there she was still affronted by it. _He cares_ , she had to remind herself. And so she explained what she plotted on doing, shuffling the backpack further up her shoulder and doing everything she possibly could to not dig her fingers into her palm (she didn't want her blood to touch the ground of the base ever again). He listened intently to every word she said, and then, much to her surprise, he walked back over to the group and explained they were going to do one last thing, telling them they should wait in the quinjet and that they'd join them shortly. Then he returned, took her hand, and together they walked back into the base.

Their first stop once inside was to the kitchens where they found the liquor cupboard, Amelia was surprised to find it hadn't been completely emptied considering how often Hydra agents tended to have parties (mostly when Pierce wasn't there, of course). From there the pair separated, creating a line of paper and alcohol, moving from Pierce's office, to the pit, ending at her bedroom.

Amelia had taken the picture from Pierce's office and placed it in her bedroom, and that was where she set the first light. She joined Steve a safe distance away from her bedroom on the other side of the circular hallway, able to watch the rest of her room catch fire and watch as it spread to the rest of the floors.

Silently they watched, together, as the place where she grew up burnt to the ground, the place where all of her tortures occurred.

"This is AS09's home," she said through a long exhale, turning to face Steve and finding solace in his eyes, "she's dead now."

Steve nodded, agreeing with her decision, supporting her, but not necessarily believing her.

* * *

 **A/N: Hello and welcome to the longest chapter I've ever written for this story. Just wanted to let some of you guys know that I'm probably not going to be able to upload of Wednesday's because I'm usually out for most of the day which means I can't get any writing done, I'm sorry for the inconvenience but I'm afraid I do actually have a life and can't dedicate all my time to this story. I'm uploading this chapter today (technically it is actually thursday for me now anyway) though because I added something to it that made me fall in love with the chapter some more and I'm excited for you guys to read it. That bit where you see flashbacks of her in the hole, and the memory with Steve, those were all thought up on my bus ride home whilst I was in a sombre mood. I hope you enjoyed them!**

 **To Guest, this was a peculiar comment but definitely not unwanted, I shared it with my friend and we both agree what you wrote was beautiful.**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, thank you! I thought it would be nice to have some more happy moments thrown in after a lot of bad things happening plus I love little details like that in stories, makes things feel more real with their relationships and stuff, if that makes sense (I'm very tired, it's way past my bedtime)**

 **To Sam0728, yeah, I love writing Nat and Amelia scenes. They're the true OTP of this story. AND OH MY GOD JUST YOU WAIT UNTIL THAT WANDA SCENE, I HAVEN'T WRITTEN IT YET BUT I'M SO EXCITED TO (that makes me sound really awful, you'll understand more when you read it, currently the plan is for that scene to happen in chapter thirty-two but things might change)**

 **To TheQueenofGoodbyes, it ended on a draw because there simply wasn't enough breakfast food to go around, whilst Thor technically did eat more (he has a bigger mouth than hers, he could fit in more) they both agreed they could easily have eaten more so they agreed to continue the challenge at dinner. Thor ends up winning because of his big mouth (Steve ended up owing Tony and Nat some money as he'd bet Amelia would win) but he tried to make her feel better by saying he'd had over 1500 years of practice, and that one day if she worked hard enough she could have a black hole of a stomach just like him. Bruce trusts Steve's judgement, obviously he'll be wary at first and probably do his own little bit of research on what _recent_ things she'd done to make sure she wasn't playing anyone, but other than that Amelia's got both Steve and Natasha vouching for her so he'd be inclined to trust her more than he would hate her. That isn't to say they'll be best buds right from the start, he's a nervous guy and not a socialite like Tony.**

 **To JohnnyStormsGirl, your welcome! And thank you so much for the compliment!**

 **To Unajet, I need to find more places I can put interactions with the group because I'm afraid there currently aren't all that many, if there are any specific things you (or anyone else reading this here text) would like to see please lemme know :)**

 **AND A BIG THANKS TO EVERYONE THAT READ THE CHAPTER I'M SORRY IT ENDED UP BEING SO LONG BUT I HOPE YOU LIKED IT!**


	25. Chapter Twenty-Three

**CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE**

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" _The wound is the place where the Light enters you." ―_ _ **Rumi**_

* * *

Daylight melted away into dusk as the Avengers and Amelia returned to their base, all their hope being placed onto the one, small, flash drive they'd managed to find inside Hydra's secret hovel. On their journey back Amelia had gone quiet, sitting in the back of the quinjet with her arms wrapped tightly around the grey backpack she'd taken from her bedroom.

Of course she'd had to explain what was inside of it, Tony being the most suspicious that she had something to hide, but as per usual she proved him wrong by taking out the few papers on top of the pile she had in her bag and holding them out for everyone to see. All they displayed was the alphabet and the scruffy handwriting of a child trying to recreate the letters.

"These are all my notes from when I was a kid, I don't know why, but I wanted to take them with me." It was a partial lie. She did know why she was taking them but she didn't want to tell Tony the reason why just yet. Their time inside of Hydra's base had felt like progress, something Amelia wasn't willing to lose over something as silly as a lost memory. That wasn't to say she'd decided to never to ask her brother for help, in fact she knew that it was likely she'd end up needing his help if the papers she'd collected provided no other clues.

After their inspections she was left alone to sit in the shadows of the quinjet, able to rest her head on Steve's shoulder without Tony noticing.

She felt tired. It turned out facing your demons and setting fire to your old home was actually a pretty tiring thing to endure, thankfully during the journey back Steve allowed her to relax against his side, one arm on his lap and the other tired limb on top of his leg, her fingers lazily drawing out shapes on his thigh. His hand had automatically moved to wrap around her shoulders as he leaned his back against the quinjet's wall, closing his own eyes and finding himself unwinding beneath her touch much like how she would underneath his.

It was always nice for them to know that among a world of uncertainties and stresses, they could always find peace in each others arms.

It was a location both of them would have no issue staying in for the rest of their lives but the quinjet had to eventually arrive back at the Avengers tower and Steve was the first one to unwrap his arms from around her, standing up so that she had to drop her hand from his lap. He was still the only one between them who thought Tony shouldn't see them acting so comfortable around each other, that was mostly due to Amelia not realising they were acting 'romantically' around each other, all their affections had come so naturally and felt so right it didn't seem like it was something unique or special.

The group walked from the helipad back to the inside of the building, parting from there. Whilst Clint and Natasha decided they'd go for a drink together and had invited the rest to join them (Natasha leaving to go ask Bruce if he'd join as well), Thor was the only one that took them up on the offer. Tony left to go to his lab so that he could begin working on the flashdrive, and Steve had been quick to reject the offer, stating it was too near his bed time.

Amelia was already walking towards the staircase, her answer very clear as she left the room and ventured back to her shared bedroom, her mind set on one thing and one thing only.

As soon as she was inside the room, door shut, she unzipped her backpack and dropped the papers all over the floor. A cascade of white dropping like a waterfall as she shook the backpack repeatedly. Once it was all over she looked at the pile and for a second felt helpless, there were more papers than she remembered and she didn't know where to start.

The plan was to create a timeline using all the papers she'd collected and see where the note 'DON'T LET THEM MAKE YOU FORGET'' fell among them, then hopefully Amelia would be able to work on her memories from there and narrow down how much of her life she'd forgotten. She could feel it sometimes, whenever she tried to remember 2012, it felt like there was a giant gap in her memories that was so hollow and dark it gave her the same feeling one would get from looking into a bottomless pit.

She improvised from the very beginning, sticking the different papers on the wall in a random order so she could work from there, moving the papers around in an appropriate order. She knew which papers needed to be at the start, they were obviously the ones she'd written on when first learning to write. From there she moved all the way around the walls of the room, accidentally covering most of the floor length window in the room and even having to go over the door to the closet and the door to the bedroom with the papers. Even having to climb on top of the bed to continue creating the timeline.

The notes ended where things became less personal and had more to do with training skills. It was like she was creating her own diary, only when she wrote all those notes Amelia had no idea a diary existed and was just wanting to expel some of her inner thoughts seen as no one but Alexander Pierce talked to her and that was only when she killed. Before that he was just another stranger that watched as she got tortured, she even had a drawing of that moment.

In the middle there was her, recogniseable because she was drawn smaller than all the others, everyone was just a stick figure but Amelia could tell the difference between weapons and limbs, though she wasn't sure if her younger self had. Among a circle of blue stick figures with extra lines coming from their limbs to represent the weapons they carried, was a man with yellow hair, a square box surrounded his body which Amelia guessed was meant to be a suit. They all looked down onto her smaller figure which was laid horizontally on the floor she'd covered in grey crayon. A frown was drawn onto her face.

She tried to dissociate with the drawings she looked at, trying not to let old feelings take control. It would be too self destructive for her taste to just sit and cry over the drawings and all the memories they brought up, and so she moved around the room, slowly but surely building a clearer image of her life inside of Hydra's base.

Whilst sat on the floor looking at two pieces of paper and trying figure which ones should go in front of the other, Steve made an appearance. She shouldn't have been so surprised at his appearance considering that the room was also his and yet the moment he entered she jumped up onto her feet, falling helpless when it came to thinking up an excuse for the humungous mess she'd made.

He opened his mouth, probably about to explain the tray he had in his hand and the food on it, but instead, his eyes caught sight of the papers that covered around the entirety of the wall, creating a white strip around the room with some papers still on the ground. Steve closed his mouth, calmly walking to the bed so that he could place the tray down and then he turned to look at Amelia, hands falling on top of his hips. "Let me hear it," he sighed out the words, ready to hear whatever explanation the would give, knowing it wouldn't be the strangest thing she said to him.

"I was always planning on telling you this, I just want you to know that." She was trying to make herself seem less bad, at least aware that she should have asked first before turning their entire bedroom into some kind of criminal investigation room. Before she carried on with her explanation she rushed to go behind him, finding the note that read 'DON'T LET THEM MAKE YOU FORGET' and then she handed it to him for the soldier to inspect himself, as he was looking at it she tried her best to explain the situation. "I found this in my bedroom, and this isn't the first time I've heard about something happening in 2012 that I don't remember, I don't like that I've forgotten something and I reckon it's Hydra that made me forget. All this," she held up her arms, spinning her body so she could point to all the papers, "they're like diary entries in a way, going from when I learnt to write," she pointed to where the TV was on the wall, the screen completely covered by her handwriting practice notes, the starting point, "to when my life became completely consumed with… the mission." Calling it 'the mission' was easier for her to admit to Steve than saying 'when my life became completely consumed with killing'.

He continued to remain silent, eyebrows scrunched together as he silently observed all the papers, and so she continued. Amelia left again to retrieve the papers she'd been examining on the floor, holding them up for him to see. "I'm trying to create a timeline with all these papers and then maybe I'll be able to narrow down what happened, what they made me forget."

His eyebrows seemed to relax eventually, that was a good sign. Amelia didn't mean to jump straight to feeling guilty, Steve wasn't an angry guy and he would never treat her the way Alexander had, but sometimes it was like she was conditioned to feel like she'd committed a heinous crime whenever she did something for herself. She knew that was the same reason why she struggled so much with telling him about her past, because she knew pain whether it be emotional or physical, and she never wanted to feel it from Steve. She knew Steve _hated_ Hydra, so in order to make sure he never hated her she had to pretend like that part of her had never existed because that part of her, it _was_ Hydra.

Eventually his eyes shuffled over to hers, "do you have any idea what you're looking for?"

"2012," Amelia revealed, eyes brightening when she realised that Steve was going to help her.

This was a big deal for the both of them because this was a part of her past, possibly the darkest part. If he was to help her, Amelia knew that he'd read pages upon pages detailing her killing or being tortured. Despite her fears, despite the conditioning, she was done running away and her past was one of the main things that she would speed away from and never give a second glance. That's just the way she did things, Amelia was either all in or all out. This was her being all in.

And for Steve, it was about damn time.

"That's all?" He asked as he continued to walk his way around the room, analysing all the different pieces of paper and familiarize himself with them all. "Just the year."

"I'm afraid so. After I got recaptured by Hydra, after the car crash, a scientist said something about 2012. I think something must have happened with my powers, perhaps they did some more experimentations on me or I went on a particular mission, it was obviously something they didn't want me to remember which can only mean they did something bad. Really bad." Over by the end of her pile, she found a piece of paper that had too many spelling mistakes to be something she wrote over the age of twenty so she took it off and placed it in a more suiting place in the timeline, meanwhile, Steve returned to analysing the papers in his hands. "It has something to do with me, or I was involved somehow, I'm hoping I'll find more clues by doing this. Events leading up to the moment. Events after the moment. It might even help me narrow down a date."

"2012?" He repeated, raising his head to look at her, an idea lighting up his eyes and it glowed brighter when she nodded her head, "I might be wrong, but I reckon it could have something to do with the alien invasion that happened. That was a pretty big deal for everything, I'm guessing even Hydra."

Her eyes bulged at the mention of the alien invasion. Having not lived through it, it all seemed like some kind of surreal sci-fi story as real as the movies she'd watched (her favourite sci-fi movie was 'Independance Day'). Still, she made a note of what he said because he had a valid point. On the desk in their room she got a post-it note and attached it above all the papers on the wall nearest the ensuite which was where she guessed 2012 would be on her personal timeline.

"There we go," she hummed as she placed the post-it on the wall, turning back to Steve and nervously awaiting what he would say next.

She was very aware of the papers he had in his hand, they weren't an easy read, but they were a part of her being 'all in'. One was a drawing of her with blue people on either side of her as she laid on the floor, their arms raised and weapons in their hands, above in red crayon she had written 'today mor men came to hurt me. Farver ses its my folt and to save myself I just need to kill them. I dont want to hurt peeple like they hurt me.' And on the other one, the drawing of her was finally standing over a body, a weapon raised in front of her with the words 'I killed today farver gave me treets and made me feel good' beneath the drawing.

Slowly, she wandered over towards Steve and took a hold of the drawings in his hands, "I'm trying to figure out when I wrote these. I know my first kill was when I was around five." Her voice fell quieter towards the end of her sentence, feeling uncomfortable with the way she was stripping herself bare for him but it wasn't because of Steve, no, her soldier was being great about everything.

Steve was just stone faced, lip in a straight line with dull blue eyes that gave nothing away, she couldn't tell if he was doubting her as Amelia or if he was angry at the pages before him.

"Where can I help?" He asked, relinquishing the pages to her so that she could place them near the doorway to the bedroom, the entrance being where she perceived her toddler years to have happened.

"You can sort of guess my age from a lot of things, spelling, handwriting. I stopped doing the drawings when I became a teenager. Some of the stuff also has dates on it which are very helpful," she continued to pick up papers off the floor, shuffling through them all trying to spot any of the obvious stuff and as she was doing that her eyes eventually fell on the tray that Steve had brought in with him. Not only did it have what looked to be a delicious cup of hot chocolate on it, but there was also cookies.

It had become a tradition on difficult days to end it with hot chocolate, Amelia wasn't sure when it began, but it had been something over the past year she'd always looked forward to whenever they'd faced adversities.

A smile as warm as the steaming hot chocolate grew on her face and she allowed the papers to drop from her hands back onto the floor, "thank you." The gratefulness carried along with her voice smoothly as she sashayed over to the bed. Dealing with Tony and her past had made Amelia feel as though the year with Steve was in a different world, it felt like they'd left to the real world and she hadn't expected any old traditions to last in it, she was already seeing the differences with Steve cutting down the physical contact between them, so it was nice to see the hot chocolates again.

Steve joined her as she kneeled down onto the floor, sitting himself down so that his back was facing the bed. "No problem, it felt like the right time. I would have made us some yesterday but you ran off."

A blush covered her cheeks as he brought up her freak out yesterday but with the ease of the moment she was able to laugh off the anxiety that had possessed her, moving on from that moment by handing Steve his mug of hot chocolate and clinking it with her own. "Cheers."

"Cheers," Steve reciprocated, bringing the mug to his lips so that he could blow on it.

Meanwhile, Amelia dove straight in, ready to drown herself in the chocolatey goodness, completely ignoring the fact that it was a _hot_ chocolate until she felt the burning sensation on her lips and tongue. She hissed out the pain, dragging the mug further away from herself which Steve quickly took off her so he could place it on the floor and lean forward enough to inspect her wounds. "Every time," she laughed, tears appearing in the corner of her eyes which only drove her to giggle some more at her silly behaviour. She was just too much of an all-in kind of girl.

She enjoyed the sound of Steve's own low chuckle and the way his fingers moved under his chin and the way his warm-day-at-the-seaside blue eyes scoped across her lips. She enjoyed it so much that she went all-in with that too, the temptation overcoming all sense, driving her to lean forward and press her scalding lips against his soft rose petals.

The sensation filled her with more than the burn had, it made her _feel_ more than the burn had. His lips were as soft as his movements, at first. Long gone was the awkwardness of AS09's first kiss, Amelia had watched many movies and knew the way a proper kiss was supposed to go. Even still, the kiss had her heart ringing shrilly in her ears, Amelia's palms went sweaty, but then Steve was deepening the kiss, craning his head to taste more of her and she almost melted against him, cursing herself for waiting so long to kiss him. As soon as Steve felt her relaxing more against him, his tongue poked out to graze along her lower lip, allowing himself one moment of indulgence because even though her lips were chapped they were also warm and tasted like chocolate and felt soft like marshmellows and he wished he could kiss her all the time, the one thing he didn't think about was why he shouldn't.

Amelia's lips parted instinctively, she let Steve in, she wanted Steve so goddamn badly, and the fact that she was kissing him, and was as close as she was to him, made Amelia's heart flutter in her chest.

The kiss quickened in pace, tongues and teeth clashing together in a frantic need and not at all in a graceful way but that was what happened to love when it was kept in chains for over a year, it became less graceful.

A small sigh slipped past her lips and then she was snaking her hands up his chest and around his neck, her fingers twining with the hair at the nape of his neck, wanting to reach up higher and mess up the rest of it.

But it had to stop, Steve needed to stop it, before it went too far. Perhaps it had already gone too far, he'd accepted the kiss, returned the kiss, it wasn't like she'd just forget the kiss. He'd never be able to forget it.

His hand dropped from her chin and both rose to her shoulders, putting enough pressure on them so that she would pull away herself. She breathed heavily, her breath stroking across his lips and calling him back but he refused. "What's wrong?" Amelia asked, the kiss leaving her feeling light-headed and all she could see was the blue of his eyes.

"We can't," he whispered, the words coming out pained and it seemed fitting as her the words caused a deep, unsettling, ache in the bottom of her stomach. "I'm sorry."

She licked her lips, trying to wipe off the taste of him from her. Her hands slid down from his neck, down his chest, trying to commit the shape of his body to memory. And then she rose up onto her feet, stepping back because if she remained as close to him as she was then she wouldn't have been able to hold herself back, "it's okay." The voice that came out wasn't hers, her voice would have screamed out how unfair it was that after a year he still wouldn't let them be together and she still didn't know why. All she could do was come to her own conclusions but they were the worst. He didn't love her because of all the people she killed, because she was a monster. Because she was Hydra's puppet.

"Amelia-"

"No, it's really okay. We'll just forget it happened." That's what he wanted, she had to remind herself, he wanted to just be friends and he'd already given her so much (hot chocolates on bad days, his bed to sleep in, holding her hand whenever nerves arise) that she had no right to make any other demands. That's how it worked right? That's how it had worked with Hydra and her father, they gave her so much (powers, knives, missions) so she had to return the favour by putting what she truly wanted aside.

Steve didn't know how to respond, his guilt dancing with his desires and confusing his mind more as he tried to separate the right thing to do from what he lusted after. _Why can't I have her_? He thought, trying to create reason after reason but they were just water in his palms, slipping through his fingertips moments later. So instead he went with the worst option out of them all, he didn't say anything.

He just allowed Amelia to throw herself into her work, analysing every single paper as though _that_ would be the one to reveal every single secret because maybe if she could fix her past she could fix whatever the issue was with Steve. Amelia didn't know yet that there was no fixing the past, only learning from it.

Through the night Steve tried to help where he could, the awkwardness of their shared moment never fully disappearing but they'd both perfected the crafts of ignoring their feelings for each other so they could at least work through some papers. The heartache never got easier as they read through the pages, it just became familiar. And eventually, Steve fell asleep.

He'd at least slept on the bed though his legs were hanging off the edge and he still had some papers in his hand when he woke up. The soldiers position had in no way been as bad as the ex-assassin's though as the brunette laid spread eagle on the floor (a position he noticed she'd often go into whenever he left the bed through the night, it made his heart hurt a little bit more when he realised she was unconsciously making sure she wasn't inside of the pit) with numerous pieces of paper stuck to different parts of her skin.

As gently as Steve could he removed all the papers from her body, placing them in a neat pile to the side despite there being a mass amount of sheets that were still scattered on the ground, and then he proceeded to lift her up and put her in the bed.

She stirred awake at the movement, not jumping straight into action as she would once have done but instead making a hoarse groaning sound, hand reaching out until it found Steve. "Shh," he hushed, trying to calm her down with his voice, "go back to sleep, I'm here." As he normally would do, he leant forward and pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead, ignoring the memories that flashed before his mind of last night. It only took a few seconds before she was back to sleep, her mouth open slightly and releasing soft snores.

Once he was sure she was back asleep he left to go for his usual morning run. Though he was aware of her incapability to sleep without him there, the reason he still left in the morning was because he was hoping one day she'd actually be able to sleep without him there.

"Hey Cap," a feminine voice greeted Steve as he was trying to quietly shut the door to his bedroom, making his shoulders tense up.

He didn't respond until he'd finished shutting the door, making sure that any noise he made wouldn't be picked up by the slumbering brunette, he remained still for another second, trying to hear if Amelia had woken up but his sensitive hearing was able to still hear her light snores which had him relaxing profoundly. "Hey Nat," Steve eventually replied, keeping his voice hushed and guiding her further away from the door so he wouldn't have to worry about waking Amelia up.

"Going for your morning run?" Natasha asked, raising an eyebrow towards her friend as she easily coined on to the somber mood he seemed to be experiencing.

Steve wasn't even aware he was displaying a mood, but his heart still felt torn over the night before and for someone as trained as Natasha she was easily able to read it from his distressed tone of voice and glum eyes.

"Uh-huh," the soldier responded, walking off quickly to avoid any more conversation with the red head. He just wanted to run until his chest ached and his legs burned, he needed the distraction or else he'd be constantly revisiting Amelia's lips in his mind, a new form of self-torture for him.

However, the red head wasn't letting him get away that easily. Through making long strides she easily caught up to him and she continued to follow him as he walked, "what's wrong?" She asked as he continued to not look at her, only staring at the elevator in front of him and hoping that it would be quick with its arrival to their floor.

"Nothing," he replied back, the retort feeling lame and fake but he wasn't really up for talking yet.

He'd been right, the response sounded so fake Natasha actually scoffed at it, "trouble in paradise?" She guessed, quirking up an eyebrow curiously. This was something she'd been wanting to ask Steve about since she got to the tower; it had been a while since she'd seen Steve and Amelia, she wanted to know where their relationship had progressed too but she hadn't been able to. She had, however, been able to observe them from afar and she'd certainly noticed some things, like them cuddling up in the back of the quinjet but then whenever anyone else was near Steve was making as much distance as he possibly could between them. She assumed at first that it was because he didn't want Tony to see anything, but it was _whenever_ someone might be able to see. And even then, when they were touching, it was like he was holding himself back. "Is paradise even a thing?"

Finally he looked at her, sending Natasha a 'dont be stupid' look that confirmed everything she'd presumed. "There's no trouble, and there's no paradise," he sighed, knowing that he wouldn't be able to get away from Natasha the moment he reached the elevator, pressed the button, and realised it was on the ground floor.

Her eyes rose to the roof as she scoffed, again, disbelief becoming the only emotion she could feel. "I told you last time I saw you, don't hesitate! Yet you still hesitated," she threw her hands in the air, frustration growing after disappointed. She knew that Steve was good for Amelia and she knew that Amelia was good for Steve, and she hated the fact that they weren't together yet. Maybe, perhaps, a small part of herself was actually angry that she was the one hesitating when it came to the man she undoubtedly loved, but Natasha was choosing Steve and Amelia to get that frustration out on because it was easier.

"I didn't hesitate," Steve argued, "it was just never the right time."

"Yeah, right." Natasha didn't believe him, how could she when she'd been an eye witness to the way he looked at her when Amelia wasn't aware?

However, she didn't know about the moment six months ago, when Steve had been ready to take the next step with Amelia, but then something happened. Something neither Steve nor Amelia wanted to remember. It had been enough to convince Steve that it wasn't the right time, and from then on he was just waiting, _hesitating_. Steve wasn't even sure what he was waiting for anymore. "She's not ready yet," Steve excused, eyes darkening as a past memory resurfaced.

Natasha could see it, that dark look in his eyes, and the redhead just wished that he'd share with her whatever was going through his mind in that moment because all she wanted to do was help, that, and get him with Amelia as soon as possible. "Are you sure she's the one that's not ready?"

Just as she asked that question a sound from down the hall lifted both their heads up, their eyes spinning around swiftly to spot who had intruded on their conversation and spotting none other than the girl in question, Amelia Stark. Obviously, despite Steve's hopes, she'd woken up, as she always did the moment he left. The brunette had changed into a vest and sweatpants, her 'work out' clothes. Just as she spotted them the elevator arrived and Steve wasted no time getting inside of it, she tried to wave at him to stop it but then she caught sight of his eyes. He had a hollow look in them, it was a stare she'd only witnessed once and when she looked at his expression flashes passed her sight, images of bloodied knives and bloodied hands moving by.

Her hand dropped slowly and Steve looked up at her. Both of them looked sad for a moment as both of them _remembered._ The soldiers face became cloaked as the elevator door shut completely, leaving Amelia to stand in the hallway, looking forlorn.

Natasha felt confused. Obviously her bringing up them becoming a couple had been a mistake. She could recognise scars on the soul like she could the back of her own hand, because she had many herself. Something had happened, and she guessed that it was something Amelia had done which created tension between them, enough tension that would have Steve holding back from a relationship for over a year. The redhead turned to Amelia, a new mission on her mind as she walked up to the brunette, she acted like nothing had happened, "you going to work out?"

"Um," Amelia tried to recover quickly, pushing aside all the memories that had reared their ugly heads to the side, concentrating on her friend. "Yeah," her voice still sounded weak, dreamy, like she was a ghost. She coughed and cleared her throat, shaking out her hands, "Yes I am, why, you wanting to join?"

"If you wouldn't mind," Natasha smiled.

Amelia shook her head and smirked, "there's nothing like an easy competition to get the blood flowing in the morning."

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 **A/N: I'm so excited and so nervous about the next chapter. But I hope you guys at least liked this one, they kissed, but then Steve's stupid brain got in the way again and just ugh. They're so frustrating. Also, I just want to say right now that I am not a shipper of Bruce and Natasha, I much prefer Clint and Natasha but no, apparently Clint's married with kids so WHATEVER GUESS I'LL WRITE BRUCE AND NATASHA TOGETHER. I hope you guys think I do the relationship justice because I'm attempting to give it actual depth and meaning, unlike AOU which just decided to throw it in your face the same way a dog shits and is like 'owner, clean it up'.**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, I'm planning to do all the films Cap has appeared in except the First Avenger. And yeah Falcon returns, I'm writing a scene with him rn but there isn't all that much of him in Age of Ultron so there's not much I can do there. And thank you for all the compliments, I'm always worried when I write character's reactions to stuff because I want to make sure I'm staying true to the character so your words mean a lot.**

 **To Hannah Bananan, I have no idea what you're talking about with your comment on chapter 11. I'm guessing it's her being a Stark, but thank you so much for your comments I enjoyed reading them. And yeah, I know what you mean about Steve being made out into an 'uptight humourless sap', I'm trying my best to avoid that damn stereotype. And yeah, whimp OC's just aren't all that fun to write.**

 **To AlexShah, thank you so much for the review! I'm glad you've enjoyed it enough to binge read :)**

 **To BigBangVIP, thank you! And same, he's still apprehensive but seeing her torture chamber gave him a lot to think about and that's what he's doing in this chapter. He's not in the lab doing some big ol' project, he's thinking about her and blaming himself and, eventually, mentally beating himself up for being such an arse to her.**

 **To Sam0728, I'm still trying to decide whether I want Wanda and Amelia to be friends. Their powers are pretty similar (for a reason, btw) and they've both suffered, I reckon if they do become friends it'll sort of be more as a 'little sister' kind of thing. Idk, still figuring it out :)**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, thank you!**

 **To Unajet, I have not written this scene but yes, totally, that is now canon with this story that he saw training vids and was like 'oh shit'. Also, I just realised I never replied to your message but thanks for it and I've made notes to add some stuff, there is one thing you mentioned that I was literally writing which I found pretty funny.**

 **And a big ol' thanks a lot to the people that read the chapter :) And in advance, I'm so sorry for the next chapter.**


	26. Chapter Twenty-Four

**TRIGGER WARNING: _Mentions of torture and relapsing. There is a summary at the bottom if you need to skip the chapter_**

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 **CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR**

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" _And here you are living despite it all." ―_ _ **Rupi Kaur**_

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 **6 MONTHS EARLIER…**

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Steve and Amelia sat in a rented car in the middle of the night watching as a middle aged man drunkenly stumbled up the stairs to his home. He remained outside the door to his home for five minutes, failing attempt after attempt to get his key into the door. "That's the guy?" Amelia asked, looking down at the folder in her lap to compare the tired drunken fool to the Hydra agent in her lap.

The Hydra agent had been one of the best with a track record almost bloody as hers, that wasn't the reason they were spying on him though, no, it was the last page in his file that had their curiosities peeked. Larion Cherenchikov was a russian agent who had trained the Winter Soldier, this included accompanying Bucky on his first few missions. During one of the missions the Winter Soldier had lost control - the file stating that he'd _remembered_ \- and attacked Cherenchikov, immobilising him from any future missions. It had come at a great loss to Hydra, apparently.

"That's the guy," Steve responded, keeping his voice low even though they were far enough away from the former agents home to go completely unnoticed.

They continued to watch in silence as he finally opened up the door to his bungalow and tripped into the doorway, eventually managing to get back on his feet to slam the door shut behind himself.

Cherenchikov wasn't the first agent they'd observed, wasn't the first ex-Hydra agent they'd found whose life was in shambles. Amelia always found it interesting when they found an ex-agent and they were barely alive anymore, none of them had gone back to normal lives. Not the token 'normal' she'd learnt from TV shows and books, they never moved on to fall in love or make a family or find another job, they just perpetuated in this broken state. They weren't haunted, they became the ghosts. And every single time she saw them, Amelia wondered: _will I end up like them?_

As soon as she felt the sadness grow inside of her she reached out for Steve's hand, using his touch to remind herself that she would never end up like them because she had him. Thankfully her soldier accepted the touch and wrapped his hand around hers, reciprocating the contact without a second thought.

Steve was tired, _so tired_ , and Amelia had noticed. It had been a long few months of dead ends and cold cases, with Steve's mind constantly fretting over his best friend that had vanished off the face of the earth. Though Amelia struggled to fall asleep without feeling scared, Steve had started staying up past her, his mind too busy with thoughts and theories, it all had the brunette worried for him. So when they found the ex-Hydra agents home, the last person on their list of agents that had worked with Bucky, Amelia got determined. He was the last hope she had for Steve to return back to normal. To go back to being _her Steve._

"Here's the plan," she began as they both watched him pass a window in the bungalow, "he's going to go to bed soon and because he's drunk it'll be easy to get him knocked out, after that we'll tie him to a chair and begin asking questions. Everyone has a weakness, we'll find his and get him to talk-"

"No," Steve stopped her, his hand tightening around her fingers ever so slightly. Her mouth remained slightly opened as she'd been speaking when he interrupted her, it stayed open out of shock and misunderstanding as he explained. "We don't hurt people. We'll wait until he leaves again and see if we can find anything."

 _We don't hurt people,_ that wasn't a good enough reason for her. Maybe he didn't see it because he couldn't see the bags under his eyes and the helpless way he'd started to look the more days passed without a sign of Bucky, but their search was definitely taking a toll on him and she wanted to help ease his suffering. "But-"

"We don't hurt people." He repeated, voice stronger, more assertive. By 'we' he clearly just meant Amelia, even after six months he was still tip-toeing, still acting like she was AS09 and was someone who'd jump at the first chance to kill, but it wasn't like she wanted to torture the hydra agent for herself, Amelia wanted to do it for him and only him. But he didn't accept any arguments, adamant on the fact that they'd revisit the agents home the next day and wait until he left.

They drove home in silence but Steve never let go of her hand because he needed the comfort as much as she did that night. He didn't even complain when they both went straight to his room after returning to the motel they were staying at for the week they'd spend in New Jersey whilst observing Larion Cherenchikov. He never even said a word as she slipped into the bed beside him, instead laying himself down with one arm across her lower stomach, cuddling up to her side and going straight to trying to sleep, not bothering with their usual pre-sleep time chatter.

Amelia didn't bother with trying to sleep that night. She spent the next five hours thinking about how Steve never used to have black bags underneath his eyes and yet she was incapable of imagining him without them, and how he'd started speaking less and less to her and how he seemed so much more vacant, his mind always somewhere else and she waited, waited until Steve was snoring.

The moment she was sure he was in a deep enough slumber she snaked her way out from underneath his arm, holding onto it to make sure it didn't crash down onto the bed and wake him up, instead, slowly setting it down onto the mattress and making a quick exit, changing into skinny jeans and a t-shirt before leaving.

Amelia didn't think about what she was doing, instead she repeated the words 'for Steve' over and over again in her mind, letting it become her new mantra and allowing it to guide actions she knew deep down she shouldn't be doing.

The walk from the motel and Cherenchikov's home was twenty minutes long, the brunette had memorised it on their journey back and had thankfully done a good enough job as she recognised different objects on her trip. An abandoned trolley, a tree that had fallen down somehow and was leaning against some others to keep itself standing, a house that already had christmas decorations up, a bar with a load of motorcycles outside of it, and eventually, Larion Cherenchikov's home which had all room lights switched on and luckily, the window to his bathroom was wide open. She got in through there, her feet landing on the grimey porcelain of Cherenchikov's bathtub.

A grimace crossed her face as she looked at her surroundings. Everything that had once been white in the bathroom was brown, stained and worn, with cans of beer littering the floor. It made it a tad bit harder for Amelia to wander around his home as the floor of his bungalow was mostly covered in empty cans and bottles, Cherenchikov's own dumping ground for all his rubbish.

She walked around his home, familiarising herself with the layout. From the bathroom, she walked straight forward and found his front room which was attached to his kitchen. His front room was empty except for a deck chair with a small TV placed on the floor in front of it and the chair was surrounded by takeaway boxes more than it was cans, giving her a pretty good idea of what to expect in the kitchen. Again, the floor was decorated with cans. A flickering light leaked out from the fridge which he'd left open. There was no sign of food anywhere, but there was proof that once upon a time he did eat home cooked things as a pile of plates and bowls growing mould were inside his kitchen sink. From the kitchen she returned to the front room and went into the hallway that his bathroom was in, going left instead, where the last remaining room was, Cherenchikov's bedroom.

He was inside of it, still dressed in his coat and shoes sprawled out on a mattress on the floor with a beer can emptying itself in his hand onto a stained cream carpet. She crept closer, picking up an unopened can of beer on her journey to the side of his bed where she crouched down, getting a closer look at his aged face.

He looked much older than forty. His hair had completely disappeared off the top of his head and half of his eyebrow was missing due to a scar. Steve always looked peaceful when he slept, sometimes even happy, and yet this man just looked pitiful and weak. It made it much easier for Amelia, no, AS09, to raise up her hand with the can and bring it down with enough force so that the man was knocked into unconsciousness.

Cherenchikov awoke in pain, his body ached like it had been placed in a certain position for far too long and as he tried to move all the ex-agent could do was wiggle and come to the realisation that his limbs were tied up. He opened his eyes, mind foggy from the alcohol he'd over indulged in but he was still able to recognise the cracked off-white roof in his living room. He didn't feel like he was on top of his normal wooden floor though and as he continued to wiggle he released a plastic sheet was underneath him. The most obvious thing out of everything though, was that he was completely naked, a cold breeze touching very uncomfortable places.

"You're awake," an empty voice spoke from beside him but as he turned to look in their direction all that he was able to see were the hiking boots that belonged to Amelia, walking around the room. "Good, you need to be awake for this to work, I think." She was completely emotionless but speaking fast, as though she was running on some kind of adrenaline and Amelia was.

Eventually, she dropped beside him, placing down a tray and revealing to him a collection of knives, all the knives he owned. Amelia didn't have any of her own. After joining Steve's side she'd given up all her weapons and he was keeping it that way, only giving her a gun when absolutely necessary, and so she'd had to improvise and collect up all the knives he had in his home, including a small butter knife. Next to the tray, she put down a blowtorch she'd also found inside one of his cupboards.

"The winter soldier," she began, picking up a knife from her collection and dancing it across his naked flesh, "you helped train him and I need information on him. Specifically a location of where he could be, but I'll take anything I can get." She raised the knife up to his neck, instead pressing the thick butt of the knife against his throat, cutting off his oxygen, "and by that I mean, you _will_ tell me everything."

She released his throat, allowing him to inhale a deep breath of life-saving oxygen and then begin to throw out russian expletives which she ignored, half because his words were discernible beneath the duct tape wrapped around his lips and half because her attention was on the knives. Shiny knives. _Sharp knives_.

"I use to kill people with knives all the time, they were my favourite weapon." She placed down the smaller knife she'd been holding, replacing it with a larger one, one that was used for cutting large slabs of meat. "I'd prefer using knives because then you get to be closer to the person you kill, you get to see the life drain from their eyes, the hatred on their face when they realise what you've done to them, the sadness they feel over losing a life. Seeing all that use to give me _such a high_." She dragged her finger against the side of the blade, for a moment forgetting Cherenchikov was there and having her own private moment with the collection. "But then I met Steve, and things changed. Things had to change."

"Do it," her father spat from the corner of the room, watching with excitement on his face. He'd been there since she dragged Cherenchikov out of his room and tied him up, pushing her along, helping her choose what knives to use.

Her black eyes raised up to her father for a moment before flickering back down to the knives. Her knives. Her shiny knives. Her sharp knives.

"I suppose my interest in them first started when I was fourteen. This man came into my room and dragged me out of it, much like I did for you," a smile sprang to her lips as she recalled the memory, but it didn't match her eyes which were filled with dread. "And he hung me up, and then he began to cut me, not deep cuts, small ones. But they stung, and soon enough I was covered in hundreds. It was a test, I found out later on that it was a test. I was meant to get out of it but I couldn't because my body was burning _so much_."

Cherenchikov was breathing heavily, eyeing the black-eyed monster with fear blatant on his expression, even with his mouth being covered in duct tape. All of a sudden she reached out with one of the smaller knives, skimming his skin quickly enough to create a small line of red on his stomach.

Amelia, no, AS09, exhaled. Exhiliritation pumping through her veins loudly. She licked her dry lips, "I want you to know that this is going to be really difficult for me." Finally she looked into his eyes and all he saw was dark space, emptiness, nothingness, the kind of darkness AS09 had to live through in the pit. "I need you to know that I'm- I'm not doing this for me," she nodded her head as she spoke, trying to get her point across to the naked man laid bound on the floor, "I don't feel good when I do this stuff anymore. I promise. And this is going to be hard for me, to do this to you," she felt like she was being repetitive but it was hard to think with knives in her hand, instinct was telling her to lash out and do what she was trained to do, it took so much from her to reign that part of herself back. "Because I haven't done this in a while. In fact, I don't think I've ever actually tortured something. And I have morals now, so I think when I start I'll feel bad, I might even feel sick, but I'm hoping that it'll fade and by the end, I'll be enjoying the high. Just like any other junkie."

Cherenchikov, continued to jerk around, screams and begs falling from his lip but being transformed into meaningless noises by the duct tape around his mouth. He began to wince as she slowly dragged one of the knives across his wrist, so close to a vein. But AS09 managed to make him disappear in her mind, repeating the phrase 'this is what I've got to do, for him' over in her mind as she made each delicate cut.

She stopped, eventually, and pulled the duct tape from his lips painfully. "Where is the Winter Soldier?" She asked, but he was in too much pain to say anything, instead choosing to swear profusely at her and even spit in her direction. Seconds later the duct tape was back across his lips and the knives were being pushed into his body, starting at his ribs, his stomach, eventually driving the blades into his limbs.

"You make such a beautiful sound," she whispered as she drove another knife into his shoulder, closing her eyes so she could listen to the tortured scream he released.

It had been so long for her, too long.

She continued to switch methods, torturing in any way she could think of. Sometimes she'd stab him, sometimes she'd just nick his skin, and with the weaker knives, she'd have to saw to draw blood. On the odd occasion, she'd heat up one of the stainless steel knives, driving the red steel through his flesh like a knife passing through sand. It smelt. It even made her feel a little sick. But she was doing it for Steve, so it was okay, right?

At some point, it became more than just getting information from him. Around five in the morning, she took a break, laying herself down beside him as her back was aching from all the bending over she'd been doing. "I'm sorry I'm a little rusty," she apologised, her voice taking on a much more casual tone than it had in the beginning, taking on a more AS09 kind of tone. "You know, Hydra took a lot from me. I stopped being able to sleep, and I'd cry every time they made me kill someone. Did you know they use to put me in a hole? Not a metaphorical one, an actual hole that my father called 'the torture pit', like it was some kind of naughty step. Sometimes when I was in there I thought I'd never get out… sometimes I'm scared that I'm still in the hole, that I'm imagining all of this right now."

"Do you think this is real?" She turned her head to face him, his face covered in slits and blood which she couldn't even remember creating. He was groaning, voice quieter, weaker.

Amelia got back up and returned to her knives. Her shiny knives. Her sharp knives.

She began to cut. Even after he gave her the information she wanted, even after the colour drained from his body and he stopped moving completely, the assassin continued to cut, cut, **cut.**

Steve didn't enter her mind, all she could think was slice, dice, carve, dissect, gash, cut, _cut_ , _**cut**_ **.**

When she returned to the motel it was ten in the morning and she couldn't remember the past five hours of her life, just images of bloodied knives and bloodied hands. Amelia felt completely dissociated from the world before her until she saw Steve and his blue eyes. He was waiting for her, sat on the edge of his bed with his hands clasped together and an expression on his face as though he knew what horrors she'd just committed. Amelia knew he did. The evidence was covering her, and though she hadn't realised it, she still had a knife in her hand. The small one, the butter knife.

"Where were you?" He asked.

"I think you know," she replied, voice empty of all emotion.

"Freckles," Steve stood up off the bed.

"Look, before you say anything," she interrupted, throwing the knife onto the floor and raising up a blood-covered hand to silence him, "I had to do it okay? We were never going to find anything in that house, Hydra agents aren't stupid enough to leave that sort of information just lying about. This was the only way we were going to get it. I did you a favour."

"Freckles-" he tried to interrupt but she just continued speaking, fast.

"And I got the information we need. I did. Europe, that's where we need to go, because if Bucky is out there looking for answers with his past he'll start in somewhere like Romania because that's where they first started training him."

"Amelia-" he tried again, beginning to step closer but he was hesitant. Tears were starting to fall from her eyes and her chest inflated and deflated quickly, because despite how many words she spewed out she couldn't drown out her latest victims screams. The fog was clearing, the high was disappearing, and Amelia was realising what horrors she'd committed.

"I did it for you," she tried to excuse, heaving from a sudden sob that pushed its way up, "I know you think what I did was wrong but I did it for you, you gave me no other choice because you were pushing me away and not sleeping and I was worried about you and the only way I know how to fix things is through killing and I fixed things. Don't you see? I fixed things. I did the right thing okay, I don't care what you say, I got us the information we needed so I must have done the right thing."

Steve had to leap forward as she collapsed to the ground, her body suddenly weak and feeling the full effects of leaning over someone's body for ten hours cutting away at every inch of skin that person had.

"I did the right thing," she asserted, punching at Steve's bicep weakly, even though he wasn't saying anything she knew he disagreed, _she knew what she did was wrong_. "I got the information, I did the right thing. I did the right thing. I did the right thing." So then, why was she sobbing, screaming so loudly other people in the motel were able to hear her anguish?

Steve brushed aside some of her hair, pushing aside his disgust as he felt the dried blood beneath his fingertips, concentrating on shushing her, on soothing her.

Perhaps the most heartbreaking thing about that morning was the fact that Steve had to push down all his feelings again because he'd been _ready_. He thought he knew who Amelia was, he thought that despite her struggles and her dark past she'd learnt to accept who she was and was moving on. The reason he might have become distant was because in his head he was planning their first date, where the perfect location would be, he wanted to make sure he got everything right because it wasn't just going to be a simple relationship. It was going to be slightly complicated because both of them were complicated.

But as he held her bloodied figure in his arms, listened to her sobbing and crying over whatever mistake she'd made (and clearly it was a grievous mistake) he knew she wasn't ready for a relationship with him yet and he'd have to hold back, he'd have to put her healing first once again.

He didn't even know where to start.

Before AS09, who was she? Was there even a before AS09? Amelia Stark was becoming more and more just a name rather than an identity. An unachievable dream. A myth parents told to children to give them hope. AS09 was never allowed hope.

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 **Summary:** Amelia and Steve find the last Hydra agent they know to have a connection with Bucky. Steve wants to search his house for information but Amelia knows that if they tortured him they'd get a lot more information, despite Steve telling her no she goes anyway and relapses. She tortures, and she kills. And then she gets hit with the repercussions the moment she see's Steve and his disappointment, and deep down she's also very disappointed with herself for so easily slipping back into AS09's role.

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 **A/N: The moral of this chapter is that the real abuser of Amelia is me. I feel so bad for her, but it was bound to happen and though it might not seem it, this was progress. She killed, but it wasn't worth it. That was the first time she'd killed and experienced a deep self-hatred for it, so yeah, progress, kinda. Anyway, this chapter was a spur of the moment, written in two hours, chapter so if it actually sucks I'm very very sorry.**

 **To Sam0728, this is what happened. And yeah, I'm excited to write Amelia in IW but I have no idea how I'm gonna end it yet cause obviously I've got two options. Also, I hope you're doing okay and recover soon after seeing the movie. I have still not recovered, and I'm planning to see it again.**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, I hope I didn't hype the chapter up too much but I also hope that you enjoyed reading it!**

 **To kuppcake, yeah I just noped the moment I saw his wife and kids. Like there was so much chemistry between her and Clint and absolutely nothing between her and Bruce until AOU and even then the chemistry was very meh.**

 **To AlexShah, yeah, it was a pretty intense thing lol. I was worried the spelling mistakes would take away from what she wrote as a kid but, she was a kid so of course, she wouldn't have been able to write words like 'fault' correctly. Idk. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!**

 **To Hannah Banana, there's a lot of holding back and pretending stuff hasn't happened, things are gonna blow up eventually the more they throw stuff into the closet. The doors gonna fly off its hinges under the weight of everything soon.**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, I just realised that it was their first proper kiss, aww, good for them. Too bad Steve held back, again.**

 **To BigBangVIP, that's one of the best compliments you can give a writer so thank you very much :)**

 **And a big thanks to everyone that read the chapter/summary!**


	27. Chapter Twenty-Five

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE**

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" _I've found that there is always some beauty left - in nature, sunshine, freedom, in yourself; these can all help you." ―_ _ **Anne Frank**_

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Amelia and Natasha's work out session had gone well, though it had not gone the way Nat would have preferred. She'd doubted the brunette's skill at avoiding certain subjects and this led to whenever Steve was brought up, whenever the past was brought up, Natasha would somehow end up on the floor underneath her, forced to defend herself and fight back, the conversation forgotten.

The moment it was over Amelia had run off back to her room before Nat could ask any more questions, she thought she'd been sly about it but Amelia had caught onto what the redhead was trying to do straight away. She'd clearly shown a weakness when she watched Steve exit in that elevator because it had been so obvious what he'd been thinking of; whilst there had been sorrow on his face she could see the twinge of disgust. He only ever had that on his face when he remembered her relapse.

 _Relapse._ That's what she had to call it, if she called it anything else than she wouldn't have been able to get over it. A mistake. A relapse. A momentary break. It had to stay momentary because even though it had felt good, the after effect didn't. And maybe in the past she would have relapsed and returned to her old life but there was one big change in her life that stopped her, Steve. She didn't have him when she was AS09. Amelia had him though. She was going to keep him.

It was hard. It took two days before Steve could look at her again. It took three weeks before he could laugh at something she said again. It took three weeks and five days before he could have a casual conversation with her again. It took a month before he'd hold her hand again. It took two months before he'd hug her as they slept again. He didn't fully forgive her until after three months. Three, long, painful months but it was the best way to get Amelia to learn her lesson so she wouldn't have had it any other way. After that, they just stopped mentioning it.

A part of Amelia wished that they would talk about it sometimes, but an unspoken agreement had been made that they'd pretend like it didn't happen. They'd pretend like Experiment AS09 had not reared her ugly head and took control for a moment.

Amelia took a shower in the en suite to get all the sweat she'd built up off of her skin, and when she left the room Steve was sat at the desk, doodling something mindlessly.

"Hey," she greeted, slowly, carefully.

Steve looked up from the notepad and dropped the pen down on the table, he didn't look angry or disappointed with her and the disgust she saw earlier was gone completely. "Hey," he replied back with a softness to his tone that cradled her.

He stood up and walked around her, picking up a change of clothes so that he could go into the en suite and shower himself. "Are we good?" Amelia asked, having to force the words out, pushing them through a forest of nerves. She didn't look at him, didn't let him see the way she was wincing, scared of his answer.

It took him a moment to answer because he wanted to be sure of his response. He thought about the past six months since it had happened and he thought about how the girl he saw that night wasn't recognisable compared to the girl he knew, the girl he'd met just over a year ago. And he thought about the kiss they'd shared last night, and how despite that one occurrence, the kiss had felt so right and so perfect and so _undeniably_ good. Which meant Steve only had one conclusion to come to. "Yeah," he smiled, a small one but still a smile, "we're good."

And then they forgot about it, or at least pretended to. The moment still played over in the back of their minds, but they muted it, that made it easier to ignore. Neither of them thought about how it would fester though, only growing in size for every second it was left alone. One day it would become too much, along with all the things they'd chosen to disregard instead of facing. One day it would attack, and they'd be completely unprepared for it.

Amelia was more than happy with the answer Steve gave her and so she didn't stop him as he walked into the en suite and began to shower, instead she wandered over to the desk to see what he'd been drawing. He always drew. Sometimes he'd do it absentmindedly or he'd do it to pass time.

On the small notepad was a drawing of _her_. She smiled as she ripped the page from the notepad, going into the walk-in wardrobe to retrieve a book from her suitcase. It wasn't her recipe book, instead, it was a scrapbook of the different drawings Steve had done, some on napkins, some on actual paper. There were quite a few of her which is why she'd started collecting them. Whenever she felt sad or doubted their friendship she'd always look at the scrapbook and remind herself that despite all the beautiful things in the world he was choosing to draw _her_. She added the new one and spent the next ten minutes going through it, smiling as she did so.

Tony called a meeting not too long afterwards which meant all the Avengers and Amelia went up to the meeting room.

Amelia finally got to meet Bruce. He seemed shy, he dressed similar to Tony but his shoulders always seemed hunched down and when he spoke he wrung his hands together but he didn't seem that bad. When they met, he stuck out his hand and introduced himself. Finally, Amelia had thought, a person that shook hands.

The meeting began as soon as everyone was sat down at a long table, Amelia made sure she got the seat next to Steve.

"It took me a while to crack the flash drive we found at Amelia's old base," Tony began, "but eventually me and Jarvis got in and it's a _goldmine_. I'm talking, files that date back to world war two, Alexander Pierce's personal diary, and a list of every single base Hydra has and have ever had. So," Tony clapped his hands together, a hologram appearing behind him which showed an aerial view of a building which reminded Amelia of some of the castles she'd seen in a movie. "Any guess as to what this is?"

Her brother looked around the room as everyone remained silent, looking over the pictures that continued to appear on the holographic screen behind him. It wasn't until the slideshow turned to one that displayed the doorway to the castle-like building where men dressed in familiar uniforms seemed to be exiting and entering.

"It's a Hydra base," Amelia jumped in, answering for everyone.

"Bingo," Tony responded, turning around so he could scroll through the pictures he'd collected, stopping on a video. "This is a tweet by ConspiracyLover123, they think the government is hiding away aliens to experiment on. You know what I think they're really hiding in there?"

"Loki's scepter?" Thor asked, hopeful and when Tony repeated bingo once again a large smile filled his face. Amelia thought his smile was peculiar as it had the image of a golden retriever she'd once seen appearing in her head.

Steve cocked his head to the side as he took in all the information being provided to him, much like how he had done the previous night when Amelia was explaining everything to him about the notes she'd collected, and then once he was sure everyone else had given their input he spoke, raising up one hand slightly in the air in order to gain their attention. "Have you got more than just a bird whistle and some pictures?"

"It's called a tweet, grandpa," Tony corrected but Steve didn't bother reacting, far too use to Tony's _charming_ personality to get riled by just one comment. "And we do actually, you want to take over Banner?" He held out one hand towards his friend, awaiting a response.

Bruce's eyes widened slightly as all attention suddenly turned to him, his hands instantly coming together and rubbing across one another. Amelia was beginning to find the motion much less weird as she realised he was doing the exact same thing she did whenever she'd tighten her nails into her hands, he was just trying to get control again. Of what, that she did not know.

"Um, sure." He slowly stood up from his seat, walking over to where Tony stood and taking her brother's place as he moved to sit himself down in Bruce's seat.

Amelia's attention was momentarily taken away as she noticed the way Natasha was staring at the shy scientist. A smile was on the redheads face, not the 'I know something you don't know' smile Natasha always seemed to carry or a diabolical smirk but a charmed smile, the same one Amelia always had on display when Steve did something she adored. When Natasha inevitably noticed the brunette staring at her, her smile dropped and she sent a glare Amelia's way until she removed her attention.

"So, I- uh, I thought that because Loki's scepter helped us get through to the, um, tesseract that they were- are basically the same thing. So maybe they'd have the same signal, right?" He looked around the table, making sure everyone was following his explanation before continuing. "And I was right, except for- uh- Hydra know about the signal, so they've blocked it off. There was basically no way to find the same signal but when I had the list from the flash drive you guys found I could narrow down my search and look for traces, uh, Jarvis can you get a map up please?" The aerial view of the building zoomed further out until they had a view of the entirety of Sokovia. "All around here," Bruce circled around the building with his hand, "are traces of the radiation which Loki's scepter gives off. And if you think of it like a trail, then this is where it leads." He pointed with his finger at the building they'd previously been looking at, surmising his point.

Steve nodded his head, accepting that as evidence. "So this is where we go next then, how recent was that video?"

"Three weeks ago, so you can bet that this place will be heavily guarded." Tony stood back up, going to stand at the end of the table with both his hands placed on top of it. Bruce took the opportunity to quickly slink back to his seat where less of the attention would be placed on him, except, Natasha's eyes still remained on him long after Tony took centre stage again.

"Then we'll use the element of surprise," Steve said, as though it was simple. As though despite seeing all the defence and artillery Hydra clearly had, it would be no issue at all for them. He tapped his fingers against the desk and stood up, "let's suit up and go. You too Banner," the scientist raised his head, slightly wide-eyed. He'd only arrived to help because Tony had asked him to, his science buddy had said absolutely nothing about going out on a mission. Steve could see the anxiety rise up in Bruce and so he tried to send him a genuine look, "we work best as a team, we might end up needing you."

Natasha had stood up the moment Steve had and when she overheard the conversation between Bruce and Steve she'd moved to stand beside the scientist. She placed a gentle hand against his shoulder, crouching down on her knees so that she could look him in the eyes, "we've been practising enough, I think you're ready if there is a code green."

Amelia raised an eyebrow, not sure as to what they were referring to. She had no idea that the scientist and the agent had been spending private time together, though it made sense as it wasn't like Natasha had been by her side twenty-four seven when she'd arrived, there were plenty of times where the redhead and the scientist weren't with the group so maybe they'd been 'practicing' whatever Nat was referring to.

Bruce looked from Natasha to Steve, seeing the honest and friendly expressions on their face and eventually he nodded, reluctant, but he still nodded. "Alright," he vocally agreed, joining everyone else as they stood and began to leave the room.

The Stark's were the last ones left in the room, Tony was looking through the pictures Jarvis had brought up and Amelia was standing behind him, watching his outward behaviour carefully, trying to decipher if he was in a good mood or a bad mood. He wasn't drunk, that was at least something.

"Tony," she called his name gently, voice uncharacteristically mousy again. Her hands laid by her side, clenched. "Can I ask you a favour?"

He turned around to face her, quirking a curious eyebrow but he didn't shun her away. That was progress. "Depends on what the favour is?"

She gulped, steeling herself as she approached Tony and leant against the table. She could do this, she needed his help and _she could do this_. "I need you to try and find something on that flash drive, about me. I recently found out that Hydra took some memories from me and I can't find much information on what exactly they took, all I know is that something happened in 2012." Tony was nodding along to what she was saying, listening intensely to her words which she was grateful for, though it did make her more nervous. "I mean, you don't have to and you don't even need to do it anytime soon because I know you're busy with this whole scepter thing and-"

"I'll get Jarvis onto it," Tony interrupted, shutting up her blabbering and whilst Amelia sent him a beaming look of gratefulness, he was completely casual, mouth set in a line and eyes peering past the glasses on his face at her with no interest shining in them. She dropped her smile, not wanting to come across too strong and push him away with her glee. Amelia licked her lips again and turned away, ready to walk out but Tony continued to speak, making her pause. "I want to show you something."

His announcement had her turning back, but she didn't look thrilled. Amelia was scared that maybe he'd found something else to do with her past that he could use as just another reason to hate her.

"Get up Project Smaller Stark, Jarvis," he commanded the AI and all of a sudden the holographic screen moved from images of Sokovia to an image of a suit. It looked similar to Natasha Romanoff's but only in colour and material, it was split into two pieces, a vest and pants so there was plenty of room for Amelia to move and she wouldn't feel confined underneath the tight fabric. Around the pants was a belt which had two gun holsters. Perhaps the most important feature was the small 'A' logo attached to the hip of the pants. "It's downstairs waiting for you if you want it. You're very own suit. I'll make some more changes to it so it's better suited for you, maybe adding bits and pieces here and there to help with your abilities if I can learn enough about them." It was Tony's turn to jabber on as Amelia walked closer towards it, eyes glistening with tears at the two pieces of clothing.

"Can you make it a dark blue?" She turned to ask him, revealing the tears in her eyes to him which had Tony momentarily baffled. Sure, he'd expected a little bit of gratefulness, but he hadn't expected her to _cry_ over it. "Like Steve's suit."

"Um, sure. It means you'll have to wait for it a bit longer though."

"That's fine," she smiled but it became bent slightly as she turned back to the suit. The sentiment was too much for her. When she was younger and working for Hydra she'd always asked for a uniform because she wanted to feel like she was a part of the group, even though no one spoke to her, she still wanted to feel like they were a team. Pierce had refused repeatedly though, stomping on her dreams of ever having comrades. Not friends, she'd accepted she'd never have friends long before that. And yet in front of her was a suit, her own suit just like what everyone else had and it even came with the 'A'. She was finally a part of something.

As Tony watched her wipe away some fallen tears he couldn't help but look down, feeling droplets burn the corner of his own eyes. He tried to get rid of them secretly, taking his glasses off and keeping his head down as he pretended to itch at his eyes, removing the droplets before they could fall.

"You know for the longest time-" Tony bit at his bottom harshly, unable to continue the sentence he was about to say.

But Amelia turned to face him, picking up on the dejected tone in his voice like it was a song she knew by heart, "please say it."

He released his bottom lip, all facades falling apart as he looked at his _sister_. It had taken him a while but he'd started admitting it, the brunette in front of him was his sister. "For the longest time," he started again, "the hardest thing I ever had to do was shower." His bottom lip began to wobble and he hated it, felt a rage curdle his insides as his body betrayed him but he continued through it because it was time. He tried to laugh at himself, laugh at how pathetic it was, but the chuckle only sounded fake. "I was twenty, and I found out that my mum and dad had died in this car crash. I went straight to the hospital, and I waited for the news. I knew. I don't know how but even when they were performing the surgery on mum and dad, I knew they weren't going to make it. The doctors came out together, told me they did everything they could but it wasn't enough and they were dead. I mean, I was just twenty, I know that might be quite old but… but I just wasn't ready. Then I asked about you, and they told me you weren't there."

"You'd gone missing, but that didn't mean you were dead and I didn't have the feeling. I didn't feel like you were dead. I spent years of my life searching for you, spent almost all the money I had trying to find you." Tears fell freely from his eyes and Tony didn't feel all that bad about crying because Amelia was too.

"There was absolutely no sign of you whatsoever, and soon enough everyone was telling me you died. I told them 'no, no, she's alive' because I didn't have that feeling which is stupid because I do consider myself a man of science, all the evidence said that you were gone. But anyway, I was given no choice but to give up on the search or else they would have kicked me out of my company, then I really would have lost everything. So instead of wasting all my time searching for you, I wasted it in other ways. For a week after I gave up, I did nothing, I barely ate, I had maids to clean up after me so I wasn't really worried about making a mess, I just laid in bed and I never showered. I couldn't. You were dead, mum was dead, dad was dead. And I couldn't understand why, out of everyone, I was the one that got to live. My best friend, Rhodes, he came into my room with a towel and he screamed at me 'you are taking a shower right now!' And it was the hardest thing I ever did, but I did it, I showered and then I went grocery shopping and then I went to work and I didn't stop working from there."

He aggressively wiped away his tears, willing them to stop but the memories of the worst few years of his life were commanding something different. "But I never stopped thinking about you, Amelia. I never stopped." He lost his voice on the last word, choking on a sob because after all of that pain his sister was back there and yes she was messed up but so was he and he was just so happy to have her there, again. Tony didn't care about what shape she was in either physically or mentally, he just cared that she was there.

Amelia jumped forward, throwing caution to the wind and wrapping her older brother in her arms and they cried together. Locked in an embrace they never wanted to release each other from, out of fear that they'd lose each other again. Neither was aware of how long they stood there crying and neither of them cared. Sobs eventually turned into sniffles though and Amelia was finally able to speak, "I'm really glad you showered."

Tony laughed at the statement, but he also tightened his arms around her shoulders, "me too."

* * *

 **A/N: Bit of an emotional chapter for Tony, I tried to encapsulate his feelings whilst still keeping to his character. I hope I did okay. Also, she has a suit, but she's not a part of the Avengers yet. Maybe one day, as long as nothing gets in the way that is :))))))**

 **Also, next chapter we get into AOU, so, things can only go downhill from here.**

 **To AlexShah, aye, it's a hard one for Amelia but she struggles, she's human, for the most part.**

 **To Sam0728, it was partly because she wanted to get the information, but there were other ways. She didn't need to kill him. I think, halfway through it became more about killing and harming than it ever did about getting information, she tried to convince herself she was doing it for Steve but if she was doing it for Steve she'd try and do less harm because she'd know Steve would blame himself, which he does btw. It's an addiction, not a normal one and by no means an easy one, but it's still an addiction and she went cold turkey. Relapses happen. But the difference between a relapse and starting the addiction again is the guilt someone feels, the shame. She felt all that so she knows she'll never do it again, not unless she has no choice. Sorry for the long reply!**

 **To JohnnyStormsGirl, I really don't hate you and I'm suffering too, I share your pain! I just want to write fluff, there's so much angst going on rn, I just want to write them cuddling and stuffs, maybe baking together.**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, oh my god thank you so much, this review made me so happy, I'm glad I can help bring some escape (even if it is, at times, a painful escape). And there are some scenes where you get Steve's take on certain things but I don't really have him talking to Tony about Amelia, I'll try and fit it in somewhere though because I think that would be interesting to write.**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, thank you! And yeah, I'm kinda looking forward to writing when things blow up, as horrible as that makes me.**

 **And a big thank you to everyone that read the chapter!**


	28. Chapter Twenty-Six

**CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX**

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" _ **Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."**_

― _**Søren Kierkegaard**_

* * *

Amelia was sure that Steve had said something about the element of surprise, and yet moments after arriving she found herself surrounded by agents. A part of her wondered if any of them knew her, if any of them had been agents which use to work at her old base, but in the end she figured they weren't because if they had been, they'd have known to run away the moment they saw her.

She smiled at each individual one, turning to face them all, looking down the barrels of their guns with her teeth bared animalistically. And then she raised up her hands, quickly, not giving them any time to react and even if any of them had been trigger happy enough to send a bullet at her slightest twitch they were all vaulted up into the sky before they could notice any movement. "How's the weather up there?" She asked, laughing at her own joke (as she normally would) before clenching her hands, pulling back all the energy she was using to hold up their bodies, making them fall to the ground. Painful cracks were heard as they made contact with the woodland floor, their moans of disdain ringing out through the woods.

A satisfactory look was on her face as she began to walk deeper into the woods, closer to the Sokovian castle. The look dropped as soon as she saw the two vehicles that were driving in her direction, as she was trying to come up with a plan the noise of an engine could be heard approaching her from behind.

Thinking that it was another Hydra vehicle drawing closer to her she turned with arms raised, ready to blow them away with her powers. Thankfully it was instead Steve, dressed in his suit, arriving on a motorcycle. "Need a lift?" He asked, nodding towards the back of the motorcycle. Steve Rogers had never looked so much like a knight on a stead coming to rescue a damsel in distress, and Amelia had never felt so charmed.

She wasted no time, getting onto the back of his motorbike, wrapping her arms around his chest and pressing herself closely against him. "Let's go," she cheered, smiling ear to ear as her soldier set off, driving them, together, further into battle.

They continued to take out agents on their way. Amelia released her hold on Steve so that she could keep back any bullets or lasers from reaching them, knocking them back into other agents to make them immobile.

On their journey they ended up passing the Hulk who charged forward, jumping over their motorbike and knocking away people with the same ease a human would have when knocking away flies. Amelia's eyes widened and her attention was momentarily taken as she watched him demolish everything. Part of her was impressed and part of her felt scared but she tried not to judge, trying to afford Banner something she had never been given.

Tony was in the air doing aerial attacks and moving in on Hydra's base seen as he was the only one with the technology to locate the scepter, meanwhile Thor, Natasha and Clint were working alongside Amelia and Steve on the ground, fighting through the army Hydra had sent out to stop them. But it would _definitely_ take more than an army to take them down.

Iron Man sped ahead of them, aiming for the building but instead being bashed away by a forcefield, "shit!" He yelled, more surprised than hurt.

"Watch your language," Steve replied, Tony's curse being heard across the comms.

Behind him, Amelia raised an eyebrow, "how is someone meant to watch their language? Words aren't visible, are they?"

Her questions went on ignored as Steve chose to, instead, concentrate on the mission. "Jarvis, what's the view from upstairs?" By 'upstairs', the soldier meant all the way from space as Tony had his own satellite orbiting the earth and at that moment it was directly above sokovia.

"The central building is protected by some kind of energy shield," the AI responded into the ear comms, "Strucker's technology is well beyond any other Hydra base we've taken."

"Loki's scepter must be here then," Thor stated, voicing the conclusion everyone had come to, "Strucker couldn't mount this defence without it. At long last."

Amelia and Steve continued to drive forward, more and more agents appearing and targeting the runaway pair. The brunette did the best she could, deflecting the energy beams they shot from their advanced technology, choosing to use her telekinesis rather than create a forcefield around them as she'd learnt that a forcefield cost her much more energy than she had.

Over the past year Amelia had trained her powers to be stronger and more powerful, she could actually use them continuously in a battle unlike before when she barely ever used her powers, but it still came at a cost. It was like running, by the end, the person would be out of breath and their body would hurt, when it came to Amelia's powers if she overexerted them too much then she would pass out or simply become very weak.

"At long last is lasting a little long," Natasha quipped as she surprised some of the agents that were trying to fire at Steve's bike, knocking them to the ground with a single punch.

Meanwhile, Clint was throwing arrow after arrow, hitting all his targets and never missing which was something to be expected from the world's greatest marksman, "yeah I think we lost the element of surprise."

"You think?" Amelia asked, chuckling as she whipped another energy blast away from Steve's head and back towards the agent that had thrown it.

Steve could see that she was getting slower, more breathless. He'd been the one to help her train so he was quite aware of her abilities and how they worked, so he knew how he could help them in battle. They were more defenceless when on the bike, at least on foot they could turn and defend themselves quicker, which meant Steve had only one option. "Get ready to jump off!" He yelled to Amelia over the passing wind and roar of the bike's engine.

She nodded her head, placing her hands down on Steve's shoulder and putting up a momentary forcefield to keep them safe until he executed whatever plan he had in his head. Using his shoulders to keep herself balanced, Amelia stood up on the back of his bike, awaiting his next order.

"Wait a second. No one else is going to deal with the fact that Cap just told me to 'watch my language?" Tony asked incredulously into the comms.

"I know," Steve mumbled, hesitating one more second before he told Amelia to jump off. As the brunette levitated herself off the back, landing peacefully onto the ground, Steve pressed down on the bikes break and jumped forward, doing a backflip and using the momentum of the movement to throw the motorbike at an upcoming vehicle that was carrying agents to their location. "It just sort of slipped out."

Amelia gawked at the wreckage before looking at Steve, placing her hands on her hips, "you know you could have just asked me to take care of it, you didn't need to throw you motorcycle at them."

Steve's hands fell to his belt as he turned to face the brunette, a smile full of boyish charm filling the bottom half of his face which wasn't covered by the navy blue mask he wore, "What? You don't think it looked cool?"

Despite herself, the corners of Amelia's lips rose, falling meagerly for Steve's glamour. "Well, now, I didn't say that."

"Please stop flirting," Tony's voice appeared again, interrupting their private moment.

The pair listened for once, going silent as they concentrated on moving further into the forest and defeating all agents that came their way. It was easier when they were together. After their year of never being apart, it would probably feel uncomfortable for them to not be fighting together. They never had to share a word, the other always knowing what their partner's next move would be.

As Steve threw his shield she'd use her powers to guide it, keeping up the momentum Steve had given it with his throw and adding to its strength, causing multiple agents to fall unconscious to the ground. Whenever Steve moved in for a close range attack she'd do her best to assist, either keeping bullets away from him or fighting off any other agents in the vicinity. And if ever someone approached her from behind, Steve was normally there or he'd thrown his shield to defend in his place.

In no time their surroundings had been emptied of agents, most laid unconscious on the floor whilst others had chosen to flee. Steve and Amelia were in the middle of high-fiving each other when an invisible force knocked them down. Whilst the soldier had managed to use his experts in gymnastics to land on his feet, Amelia had ended up sprawled on the floor. "What are you, a cat?" She wheezed, taking Steve's offered hand so he could pull her back onto her feet.

"We have an enhanced in the field," Steve explained to the others, not wasting any time before running in the direction he believed the enhanced had gone. He couldn't be sure though, as whatever it was that had pushed them down was fast, impossibly fast. Amelia trailed behind, holding onto her stomach which had been where whatever impossible creation had hit her.

"Clint's been hit," Natasha announced, proceeding to request someone deal with the bunker. No reply through the earcomms came but Amelia did hear somewhere in the woods the mighty roar of the Hulk and then a large smashing noise.

Steve and Amelia reached more agents, whilst Steve charged forward and used his shield, Amelia stood back to avoid getting hit again. She did, however, use her powers to cause some agents to fly up and then crash land back on the floor. "Stark, we really need to get into the tower."

"I'm working on it," came her brother's quick reply and not moments later did he speak again, "drawbridge is down people."

Amelia wasn't sure what her brother had done but she was grateful, they were getting closer to the end of their little mission which meant she could then work on figuring out her past. It had been plaguing her mind for far too long, the mysterious 'lost year'.

Thor joined Amelia and Steve in fighting off the agents, landing and hammering down on the ground which sent a surge of electricity to all the agents that were near him. "The enhanced?" Thor asked, wondering if the soldier had seen any more of him.

"He's a blur," Steve replied, turning around momentarily so that he could check on Amelia's wellbeing. She was walking a little slower and still holding her stomach but she was fine, it would take a lot more than a punch to bring her down. "All the new players we've faced, I've never seen this. In fact, I still haven't."

"I'm guessing super speed but I don't know for sure," Amelia supplied her own conclusion as she joined the two men.

"Clint's hit pretty bad guys. We're going to need an evac." Nat interrupted the little guessing game they were all playing, sat a few metres away from them on the woodland floor with an aching Clint Barton by her side. She'd managed to place a bandage on his wound but that was all she could do in the middle of the woods.

"I can get Barton to the jet," Thor offered, the trio nonplussed as they watched a tank drive over a hill, moving towards them with numerous weaponised agents by its side, "the sooner we're gone the better. You and the Stark's secure the scepter."

It felt slightly weird to have Thor refer to her as a Stark, Amelia still not fully use to the name but she was glad that Thor trusted her enough to give her the duty of retrieving the staff. He'd learnt about her past the night he'd arrived whilst Steve and Tony were arguing, her brother had explained through a messy drunken haze all about how she was a killer in the past and Steve had been the one to step up and try to add more to the story (whilst Pepper dragged Tony away to go and sober him up). Amelia had automatically assumed he'd share the same reaction as her brother but he'd been a little bit more understanding.

He'd shared with her on the quinjet over to Amelia's old base the story of his own sibling. His brother, Loki (a name Amelia had recognised from the stories Steve had told her), had done some villainous stuff but he'd died a hero and that was the important part. That in his last moments, he'd chosen to do the right thing. That's all Thor cared about in the end, and it was the same with her. As long as she did the right thing, he vowed to ignore her past.

"Alright," Amelia agreed with his plan, "but can you take care of those guys first, please?" She pointed at the approaching enemies, knowing full well her powers wouldn't probably be of much use against a tank and ten agents.

"It looks like they're lining up," Thor mused, practically smiling at their aggressive behaviours.

"Well, they're excited." Steve brought up his shield for the asgardian, Thor throwing his hammer down onto the adamantium shield and sending a shockwave which knocked back all the soldiers and the tank.

"Find the scepter." Thor reminded, flying off so that he could go and assist Clint.

"And for gosh sake, watch your language!" Tony quipped.

Steve's head fell down slightly as he released a sigh that deflated his body, "that's not going away anytime soon."

The brunette beside him sympathetically brought out her hand and patted his shoulder. She then held out the hand to him, "need a lift?" He took her hand and watched as the familiar white light glided across his skin, making it tingle as it swept like water across his form, eventually covering him entirely. Seconds after both his and Amelia's body were coated in the white energy they began to fly upwards, moving towards Hydra's base.

This was by far Steve's favourite part of Amelia's abilities. It was beautiful to look at, and even more beautiful to experience.

"We're locked down out here," Natasha reported as Steve and Amelia arrived, entering the building through a window.

As soon as Amelia landed she dropped to her knees and placed both her palms onto the ground, allowing her energy to pass through the ground and surge through the building so that she could get a read on its halls and whoever was walking them.

"Then get to Banner, time for a lullaby."

The 'lullaby' Steve spoke about had come as a surprise to both the soldier and the brunette. Whilst Steve was surprised they managed to find a working method to make the Hulk transform back into Bruce, Amelia had been surprised to hear just exactly how much time her friend had spent with the scientist/green raging monster. It had made her even more suspicious of what they were, especially because before arriving at Tony's she'd never even heard of Bruce Banner, not when it came to Nat. She'd heard of the Hulk from passing mentionings in Steve's stories, but the soldier had never gone into detail about him being a huge green _thing_ , Amelia had thought he was just a very strong, kind of angry sounding, guy.

A minute of silence passed as she worked on familiarising herself with the building's layout: she spotted numerous guards and some peculiar things. Once she was done she released her hold on the ground and stood back up so she could face her soldier, wiping off all the dirt from her hands, "find anything interesting?"

"I found Tony, he's closing in on the scepter. And I know where all the guards are, but there was this one guy who was running." She explained her findings, closing her eyes and picturing everything she saw again.

"You think that guy was Strucker?"

Amelia shrugged her shoulders, "I think he's the one who'd be most likely running away right now."

Steve nodded, agreeing with her guess and he allowed her to guide him through the hallways. Following her every step and assisting in taking down any agents that blocked their path. Amelia had to stop a couple of times to search the building for the man she sensed running but eventually they reached the staircase just as he was running up it.

"Baron Strucker," Steve smiled at their find, proud of his girl for doing so well in locating the criminal. "Hydra's number one thug."

Strucker wasn't paying any mind to Steve though, no, all of his attention was on the brunette standing beside him. "You don't recognise me, do you?" He asked her, noticing the empty expression she had on her face as she stared at him. "That's a pity, I am the one who made you after all."

The second Strucker stepped forward Steve had lifted his shield up in front of Amelia, though she'd quite easily destroy Strucker, the soldier couldn't stop his protective urges.

"So you admit to illegal human experimentation?" Amelia asked as they began to circle each other, Strucker moving to press himself against the wall. She was doing very well at keeping her shock hidden, as was Steve. He must have been talking about the lost year, Amelia would have been able to remember him if it was at any other time and considering what Baron Strucker had been doing with the enhanced on the field it wasn't that much of a jump to assume he'd experimented on her at one point. Perhaps he had been the cause behind the crazy behaviour her powers would sometimes demonstrate.

"I make improvements, if that's what you're referring to." Strucker's eyes flashed to behind them and both noticed, but it was already too late. Another force hit them and pushed them down the staircase that willingly walked in front of, it wasn't like the speeding force they'd met earlier. Amelia had only managed a quick glance but she'd spotted a girl, hair a lighter shade of brunette to hers, and a red energy that had been emitted from her swaying fingers.

They recovered quickly but the girl had already disappeared, leaving Strucker to them. "We have a second enhanced," Steve announced to the rest of the team, "female. Do not engage."

Strucker was smiling, only slightly, and he was looking at Amelia as he did so. His gaze swept slowly over to Cap, a smirk edging his lips, "you'll have to be faster than-"

Steve was done listening to him. He used his shield to knock the man out, allowing his body to fall harshly against the cold stone floor of his own base. The soldier turned to Amelia, finding her gaze stuck on the fallen Hydra agent, he'd definitely got her curious and Steve could understand why, he was just as invested into finding out about her mysterious lost year. "We'll interview him later," Steve promised, reaching out and wrapping his hand around her open palm.

She closed her fingers around his, giving his welcomed hand a satisfied squeeze. "Okay." Now that they had Baron Strucker taken care of Amelia wanted to go check on her brother; before, when she had examined the layout of the building, she had noticed something very large and very strange down where her brother was heading. The thing she sensed wasn't alive, but it also wasn't something she'd ever sensed before. "You head back with Strucker, I'm going to check up on my brother."

"Alright, be safe." It wasn't a request but a demand. Amelia rolled her eyes at his concern and began to wander off, not releasing his hand until the very last second.

Most of the guards had already given up, meaning most of the hallways Amelia wandered through were empty. She found a room which agents were hobbling out of, obvious injuries bleeding out on different limbs and that was proof enough for her that she'd found where her brother was. After entering the room she found her brother's suit, open and empty. Wandering further, she found computers which had a Stark device attached that was downloading everything from their computers, Amelia wondered for a moment if there would be anything about her past on there but she'd decided to instead concentrate on finding her brother and making sure he was safe before she tried to delve any further into the lost year.

Amelia wasn't surprised when she found a secret door. For some reason Hydra just loved having secret doors. She delved into the shadowy depths and wandered downwards, somewhere the brunette suspected was underground.

When she reached the room, she had to hold onto the wall in order to stay standing. Stretching the length of the room there seemed to be some sort of _monster_. It reminded her of a whale with fins at its side but it definitely wasn't one she'd ever seen on her animal shows. All around its body there seemed to be an armour. There was no face, just hundreds of long teeth that were the size of two humans on top of each other. And standing in front of it, was her brother.

She kept herself to the walls because she didn't want to get too close to the creature, only leaving them when she had to move over to her brother. She reached out for his arm to get his attention but the moment her skin had touched his arm he lashed out, only stopping when he realised it was her. "Tony?" She asked, concern lacing her voice but no reply came from her shaking brother, he just stared at her wide eyed. "What happened?"

He opened and closed his mouth repeatedly, pathetic noises being the only thing that came out because Tony wasn't sure what happened.

Seeing that he couldn't speak she slowly (so she wouldn't spook him) she raised her hands upward and moved them towards his head, "I'm just going to take a look, I promise I won't look at anything else, okay?" Tony wouldn't have been able to say no even if he wanted to, so shaken by what he had just seen. As her fingers pressed themselves benign onto his forehead, Amelia closed her eyes, allowing herself to be carried into his most recent memory.

She saw everything from her brother's point of view. Turning around, the monster suddenly came to life, releasing a ghastly roar and charging forward which caused her to fall back in terror to the ground, eyes always remaining on the threat but eventually dropping down to the scene behind her.

Everyone. They were all dead. The Hulk had multiple Chitauri weapons piercing his body, he seemed alive but she knew he wouldn't last much longer, he'd been defeated which seemed like such an impossibility and yet the evidence was in front of her. Her eyes fell downward, spotting Natasha who stared back at her, not defeated, but dead. At her feet was Clint, bow still in hand, arrow at the ready. She wondered if perhaps that arrow could have saved her life but after a quick sweep of the devastation, she knew there was never a chance for them. Thor, the God, was also among the dead bodies, and though he looked peaceful it did nothing to ease the grieving pain which rotted her heart. And then, there was the familiar shield, cracked in half. She wanted to stop looking, she wanted to turn away but she wasn't in charge of the movements, Tony was.

His eyes, and therefore her eyes, dropped onto Steve and a scream caught in her throat. He was pale, chiselled face bruised and bloodied. And in his arms was herself, looking similar to how she did at that moment. She moved forward, hoping that perhaps if she tried hard enough she could bring him back to life. As she leant forward his hand reached out though, and with his last dying breath, he uttered the words: "You could have saved us."

The image was too much for both her and Tony, her brother recoiling at it and throwing her out of his memories.

It took her a moment to take everything in, everything they'd seen. She understood why her brother had looked so haunted, though she wished that she didn't. Perhaps the most horrifying thing was that she knew it wasn't just a memory, it was a vision.

"We won't let it happen," she said, a panic attack rising inside of her but she forced it to go back down, there was no need to panic because _she would never_ let that happen. "I promise, Tony, we won't let it happen." She reached out and hugged her brother, Tony returning the gesture and allowing himself one moment of weakness where he could place his head against his little sister's shoulder and share the pain he felt.

* * *

 **A/N: And we're into AOU! Whoop!**

 **To JohnnyStormsGirl, did he forgive her? Or did he just say they'd forget about it? Also I just a scene where they cuddle but it was very depressing to write lemme tell u**

 **To Cash1122, make sure you take breaks between your binge reading to drink fluids and stuff but also THANKS FOR THE COMPLIMENTS I'M SO HAPPY**

 **To Sam0728, Tony gets really brotherly in chapter 33, it's quite sweet. This isn't me saying look forward to chapter 33 because it most certainly is not a Good Time. Also, I just finished writing the scene where Wanda makes Amelia see shit and I feel bad but also kinda proud.**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, thank you so much!**

 **To AlexShah, I can confirm they do indeed get closer, feel like it's already kinda confirmed with this chapter. But yes, thank you for the review, I hope you enjoyed this one too :)**

 **To BigBangVIP, Amelia just has such a way with words!**

 **To Hannah Banana, she just needs to get comfortable, both with herself and others**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, hope this chapter was alright for you and that you enjoyed her reaction to the Hulk**

 **To Kuppcake, hope the action soothed your tears lol**

 **And a big thanks to everyone else that read the chapter!**


	29. Chapter Twenty-Seven

**CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN**

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" _One's dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered."_

― _**Michael J. Fox**_

* * *

Tony and Amelia didn't tell anyone about what they saw.

They returned to the quinjet with Loki's scepter and lied through their teeth that everything had gone fine, that they weren't being haunted by the vision Tony had been given.

Her brother was much better at pretending then she was, whilst he managed to go back to being his old self, making quips left and right, Amelia had gone quiet. Steve checked on her multiple times, even after they arrived back at the base, but she just smiled and explained she was thinking, which was the truth and Steve knew that because when she was lying. It was just with him, but whenever she lied to Steve she never looked into his eyes. He did, however, know she was still keeping something from him. As per usual he didn't press on it, he didn't really have the time, once they arrived back to the Avenger's tower he left momentarily to take Strucker into custody.

It wasn't normally his job to interrogate, he didn't even think he'd end up talking to Strucker again, there might have been a chance he went along with Amelia when she visited Strucker to try and get information on her missing year from him. Steve was leaving the building, his mind playing thoughts of Amelia and what they'd do seen as Thor had gotten Loki's scepter, but on his way out he passed the interrogation room that Strucker was being held in.

Steve was frustrated. He was frustrated that Amelia was withholding information from him and he was terrified that there was something important that he didn't know. He thought he'd made progress, she'd allowed him to the see the pit and assist her with research on the lost year, but there were still plenty of questions she refused to answer. So he was just going to have to find the answers somewhere else.

It wasn't that difficult to get inside the interrogation room, he was Captain America after all.

He walked into it standing tall with his hands on top of his belt. Strucker didn't react when Cap entered, he just observed in silence as the man in blue came to stand in front of the steel table his hands were chained to. Though covered in dirt and slightly scraped up, Strucker was adamant that he keep his demeanour, even with Captain America looking down on him with a steeled gaze.

"How many people did you experiment on?" Steve asked, tone cold. He didn't like Strucker, and it wasn't just because the man was a part of Hydra, though that did add quite a bit of depth to his hatred.

Strucker cocked his head to the side, smiling, not taking the interaction as seriously as Cap was. "Does AS09 know that you're here?"

Steve's nostrils flared at the mention of Amelia but that was the only reaction Strucker was given as the soldier's stare turned sharper, "I'm not going to repeat my question again." Steve didn't really have a plan of what he was going to ask Strucker, he knew that he wanted to know about Strucker's interactions with Amelia but at the same time he didn't want to discuss Amelia with Strucker, he felt far too protective of the brunette to have someone as lowly as the _Hydra_ agent talking about her.

But Strucker wanted the opposite of that. He'd noticed when he first saw the Captain with the experiment. By no means was Strucker a professional at reading people, that wasn't where his expertise laid, but Steve and Amelia were clearly close and the slight flare of Steve's nostrils when he mentioned AS09 was only further proof to his theory.

"But is that really what you want to know?" Strucker asked as he leant forward in his seat, the chains on his handcuffs clanking against the steel table, "or do you want me to tell you about the experiments I did on AS09?"

"So that's three people so far, anyone else we need to know about?" Steve continued to direct the conversation but it was clear from the ever-widening grin on Strucker's face that the villain was going to continue forcing it onto a certain course.

"She was my greatest, you know?" He leant back again, aiming to wrap a hand around the back of his but faltering when the chains wouldn't allow him to reach that far, he recovered quickly though, maintaining a casual air as though he was talking about one of his children. In Strucker's head, he was. "And my most terrifying. I'm guessing you know by now that her memory has been wiped?" Steve didn't respond, he didn't try to change the conversation, Strucker was given Steve the information he'd wanted and though it was a sort-of victory, guilt was weighing Steve down. Amelia should have been there with him, he shouldn't have been going behind her back the way he was. "There's a reason for that, because if she ever did remember what she could do…"

Strucker stood from his seat slowly and leaned forward so that he could whisper privately to the soldier, "if she ever remembers, _she'll destroy everything_."

"What are you talking about?" The soldier's hand dropped from his belt and clenched by his side as he moved closer to Strucker, emotions whirling within, rage, confusion, disbelief.

"I mean everything," Strucker continued to whisper the conspiracy, eyes twitching to the one-way glass that people could have been standing behind, "she'll eradicate the entire human race and the very planet we walk on. You should do yourself a favour now, don't make the same mistake as Pierce, kill her."

The soldier's resilience burnt away like paper above a flame, his fist raising and colliding with Strucker's jaw. The Hydra agent collapsed to the ground, hands still raised in the air as they were trapped against the table. He tried to pull himself up and onto his feet, dizzied by what had just occurred, but it didn't stop him from yelling out some parting words as Steve stormed out of the room, "don't let her find out!"

Back at the Avengers tower, Amelia had been called down to her brother's lab by Jarvis. She'd presumed it would be about the vision he'd had, to maybe discuss it and try to figure out what caused it but instead she found something much more horrifying.

Tony was sat down, twiddling with a pen in his hand and looking up at a screen which had on it a paused video of her. Or, it was her. AS09 was strapped to a table in what looked to be a hospital gown, her head was completely shaved and despite how low quality the image was she could still see the wet trails falling from her eyes down the side of her face.

The sound of the door shutting had her brother turning around in his seat to look at her, he remained silent as she wandered further into the lab, stopping in front of the screen and analysing the image before her. "I found these on Pierce's flash drive," he began to explain, "there's six in total. They seem to be doing some sort of experiment on you."

Amelia managed to tear her eyes away from the frightening image to look into her brother's eyes, he had a grim expression on his face. He'd clearly already watched them, which led Amelia to the conclusion that whatever was in the videos wasn't pretty.

"Play it," she demanded, trying to keep her fear hidden away.

"Mia-"

"Play it." She repeated herself, tone resolute. Amelia needed to know what was in the videos, she needed to know what Hydra made her forget, no matter how gruesome they might end up being. "Please." Her panic was already beginning to close up her throat, her heart racing in her chest, she thought it could thrum faster than it already was but when Tony pressed play, and the first clip began to play, she felt it repeatedly smashing against her rib cages. She forgot to ground herself. It was hard to remember such a thing as the screams of her tortured past self began to fill the room.

"Let me go!" AS09 screeched as loudly as she could, pushing her arms against the straps which held her down, a futile attempt to escape.

"Project Artemis, test one." Baron Strucker's voice droned from behind the camera as some sort of box was wheeled into the background. Amelia wasn't exactly sure what she was looking at, something blue and square inside of a glass case, there were six spikes inside the glass case that were touching the cube and they were causing some kind of reaction as blue lightning kept sparking between the spikes. Six tubes laid on the cart that the box had been carried on and Strucker appeared from the side, hands gloved, and began to connect the tubes to the six spikes. The tubes were thin and the moment they were connected to the box, they lit up the same shade of blue.

"That's the tesseract," her brother explained, but Amelia wasn't listening.

Strucker picked up the six tubes, revealing to the camera that at the end of each tube was a long needle, it was as thick as it was long. "You might want to hold still," she heard him say to AS09 before pressing them deep into her skin. AS09 released a pained scream through gritted teeth, body twitching as he forced all the tubes into her body. He placed one in each of her biceps, one on the left side of her stomach and another on the right, then two in each of her thighs.

Amelia looked at her biceps, searching the multitude of scars for the thick dots. There were so many scars on her body she never bothered to try and guess where they were from, they'd only make her sad. Proof of the experiment she'd experienced was provided shortly after as she found the scar tissue, a circle the size of a pea was permanently branded into the skin on each of her arms.

Strucker continued to ignore AS09's screams as he turned to the box behind them and then he began to turn a dial. AS09's body suddenly began to shake, as though she was having a seizure. Seconds later blood was pouring from her ears and her nose, the blue energy from the tesseract passing into her body.

"Stop it." Amelia heaved, hand reaching out to take hold of one of Tony's lab tables so she could stay standing.

Whenever she was tortured, she could close her eyes, she never had to look, only feel the pain. Amelia preferred it that way.

Tony was quick to pause the video and stand up so that he could go support his sister, knowing it was really the only thing he could do, because despite how frustrated he became there was no way for Tony to fix the years they'd lost. "You're good," he told her as he pushed her gently, lifting her up so that she could sit on the table, not caring that she sat on some files he'd been working on. "You're okay," he repeated, struggling to find the right words as he'd never been in a situation like that before.

He waited patiently as she started taking deep breaths. Tony somewhat understood what she was going through as he had experienced panic attacks before, after the Chitauri invasion in New York Tony had been pretty messed up, he was still pretty messed up.

Eventually, she'd calmed down and turned her gaze back to Tony, "you said there are six," she mumbled, the colour draining from her as she imagined the torture that would be watching the rest of them.

Tony shrugged his shoulders, easily spotting the reluctance she was showing to the other videos, "they're all pretty much the same thing I'm afraid, except the last one. That's the one you'll want to see." It was tough for him to say that after seeing her reaction to the first one, he actually felt quite guilty, he should have just gone straight to the last one but he wanted to give her the option of watching them all. If it was him, he would have wanted to watch them all.

Amelia wished Steve was there. If Steve was there she would have gotten to hold his hand and that would have grounded her enough to help get her through the videos, she always felt stronger with him by her side. But he wasn't. And he wouldn't always be there, she needed to be able to do things on her own. "Put it on then," she said through a long exhalation.

"Jarvis play test six, skip to the good part."

"Yes, sir." The AI responded, the video on the screen changing yet the scene remained the same. She was strapped to a table with the tentacles attached to her and Strucker was there turning the dial and putting her through unimaginable pain. She wondered, for a moment, if that was why she'd forgotten. If perhaps the torture she'd endured that time was far too much and her mind had chosen she'd be safer not remembering.

The video began to play again but there was something much more different this time. Her energy radiated off her, both black and white, dancing among each other and covering most of the room. There was background noise that she couldn't quite discern, it sounded like a lot of yelling and fists against a door. Strucker was ignoring it too, his eyes were fixed on her body and the energy which radiated off her like a mist, a wide smile breaking open his face.

All of a sudden her screams stopped, her body relaxing. For a moment, everything actually seemed peaceful, AS09 looked like she was just sleeping.

And then her eyes opened.

They were black. Not just her iris' and pupil, the entire space of her eyes were black. The straps around her body turned to dust and her figure floated upwards into the air until she was levitating, her body shining with the white and black energy that moved around her. Amelia couldn't tell if it was the grainy image, but among the black, it almost looked like there were stars twinkling, whilst the white looked how she remembered. Like smoke from a candle that had just been blown out.

Guards broke into the room, two of them not even hesitating as they sent bullets in her direction but all of their attacks just turned to dust, and then, with a wave of her hand, the soldiers did as well.

Strucker walked around the table, keeping himself close to the wall whilst also having his hands raised. AS09's black eyes shot over to him, detecting his movements. "You're beautiful," Strucker gawked, voice soft, "more than I could have hoped."

"Experiment," the voice set off chills down Amelia's spine as she identified the man before he stepped into the camera's frame, Alexander Pierce. "Stand down."

His orders had no effect on her, not when she was in such a state. "You do not control me, Alexander Pierce," and with those words she turned, raising up one hand so she could send out a large push of energy which crumbled the wall. The entire room shook, the camera losing focus for a moment as dust and stone flew around and covered it. When everything settled again, there was a hole in the wall and no sign of AS09 anywhere.

"You will pay for this," Pierce's vicious voice cut through as he pushed Strucker down to the ground and she watched as his hand appeared in front of the camera, the video feed ending there.

* * *

 **A/N: This chapter was half un-planned, that first part wasn't originally in here but idk it fits well. There probably won't be an update tomorrow because I'm going to be out for most of the day, there's a chance I'll get home and write but I won't be getting home till it's late so idk how likely that is. Sorry for the inconvenience!**

 **To JohnnyStormsGirl, I'm still testing out her relationship with the Maximoff twins rn, so I can't say for sure whether it's good or bad, honestly it keeps changing in my head.**

 **To Sam0728, I just finished writing 33! There's so much too it and I might have to split it up into two but I'm undecided atm, it's a good one though, I'm definitely looking forward to everyone reading it.**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, thank you!**

 **To thenightowl57, asdfghjkl; thank you this was such a nice review, thank you!**

 **To Hannah Banana, chapter 33! We get to see more of Tony's reaction in chapter 33! I'm really building up this chapter rn lol**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, I'm so glad you enjoyed it, I hope this one was good as well, ik it's not great but it's leading to something great**

 **To TheQueenOfGoodbyes, Tony has DEFINITELY seen her and Steve holding hands and stuff and while he'll make the odd casual 'stop flirting' comment he definitely wants to say more but feels like he can't because he just started being Amelia's big brother. And yeah, the death of Pietro is gonna have some sort of impact, that's all I can say without being spoiler-y I'm sorry ^^ Thanks for the comment!**

 **To Cash1122, thank you!**

 **And a big ol' thanks to everyone that read the chapter, if you've got any fun theories building in your brains please lemme know I love reading what you think is gonna happen!**


	30. Chapter Twenty-Eight

**CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT**

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" _I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people."_

― _**Van Gogh**_

* * *

Revels. It was all Tony had been talking about whenever he wasn't hidden away inside his lab with Banner doing 'inspections' on Loki's scepter. Amelia would be lying if she said he hadn't sold her on the idea (after Bruce kindly explained what 'revels' were to her). After everything that had happened - her revisiting her old base, fighting to get into the Sokovian base to retrieve the scepter, and the videos she'd watched - revels seemed to be the exact thing the Avengers, and Amelia, needed.

It did, however, mean that she had to go to Natasha and borrow an outfit. The redhead had welcomed Amelia to her personal wardrobe, allowing her to look at numerous dresses and not bringing up the price until it was far too late for her to run away.

Natasha was sat on her bed folding up the dresses Amelia had decided against and flung onto the floor, thinking nothing of the mess she'd made. "So, how come you and Steve aren't in a relationship yet?" The redhead let the words slip out casually as she folded a blood red dress Amelia had labelled as 'too colourful'. Amelia, who was examining her body inside a frilly black dress, paused. She shuffled from one foot to another, and when an explanation didn't immediately come to her mind she just pretended like she hadn't heard the question, instead taking off the dress and throwing it to the floor so she could try on another dress. Natasha was persistent though. "You like him," she pushed, "and he clearly likes you too."

The agent knew exactly what to say to catch Amelia's attention. Whilst picking up another black dress that was more lacey than the rest, her heard perked up at Natasha's words, her black eyes moved over to the redhead who was still pretending like she was more invested in folding up clothes than she was their discussion. "What do you mean he 'clearly likes me'?" She also tried to sound casual, keeping her tone light.

Nat smiled, knowing she'd caught Amelia in her web. She finished folding up the latest dress Amelia had thrown aside and then she turned her body so it was fully facing Amelia, all attention now on the curious brunette. "He lets you sleep in his bed every night, he's constantly holding your hand and, I don't know I'm not good with girl talk. But, the way you look at each other, it's like… like you could never get bored of looking." Her voice had taken on a more sober tone towards the end.

Amelia could see her friend in the mirror she was examining herself with, could see the way Natasha's eyes had fallen down onto the bed. She had one guess on why her friend had suddenly turned crestfallen, but only because the brunette would always look the same when she saw how close Natasha and Steve seemed. She'd feel a want for that sort of relationship, and feel the loss of not having it weigh heavy on her heart. "You look at Bruce that way though," Amelia attempted to comfort her friend.

But her friend just smiled bitterly at what she said. "Oh, we're really getting into the girl talk now," Nat tried to joke, she hadn't meant to make the moment gloomy for them. She was actually quite excited, it would be Amelia's first party among other firsts. Most importantly, it would be Amelia's first time wearing heels and Natasha knew it was her _duty_ to teach the ex-assassin the ways of high-heels and just how useful they could be as a weapon (whether that be actually using them to attack people, or using them to draw in attention). Plus, Natasha simply couldn't turn down the opportunity to see Amelia stumbling and falling for a good hour.

"This is a first for me too," Amelia turned back to the mirror and decided she didn't like the way the lace felt against her skin, it was too scratchy and she was already making herself uncomfortable by wearing a dress but Nat had told her it was protocol. She took the lace one off, chucking it back down onto the pile before grabbing a navy one.

Despite it not being black, she actually quite liked the colour of the dress because it was a similar shade to Captain America's suit. It had a simple design, which she liked, there was no awkward zips or pieces of fabric she needed to tie or place somewhere she couldn't figure out. A ribbon was wrapped around the waistline but that was as complicated as the dress got. With a sweetheart neckline and pleated skirt which dropped down to her kneecaps, the outfit was modest enough for not to be worried of any accidental reveal which was another perk. It was the right dress.

"The difference between Steve and Bruce is that when you look at Steve, he always looks back. Bruce never looks back." Nat tried to keep her voice more cheerful than before. She stood up from her bed and exited momentarily to her personal walk-in wardrobe, returning with a pair of high heels that were the same colour as her dress, but with a lot of added glitter.

It was the spike at the back of the shoe which had Amelia gulping, she supposed it was meant to be the heel of the shoe, and yet it was so thin that she couldn't understand how anyone was supposed to stand in them. Still, she allowed Natasha to help her put them on, placing her hand on Natasha's shoulder as she pushed them onto her feet. Even on one foot she found herself being raised higher than ever before, and she wondered momentarily if it meant she'd be as tall as Steve.

"Not always," she said in response to Nat, "I don't know. I don't know why me and Steve are waiting or what we're waiting for, a part of me wishes we weren't but I think a time is coming soon and when it does come we'll be happier than ever before. I think that times coming for you and Bruce as well."

Natasha smiled in appreciation at her friend's attempts to comfort her, her lips rising even more as Amelia's feet faltered the moment she tried to stand up straight in the heels. "Well, I think you look great in that dress."

"Yeah?" Amelia asked, taking another look in the mirror. She didn't try to turn herself around because she doubted her ability to walk in the heels, instead, she twisted her body around, getting a view of her back in the dress and noticing that the dip in the neckline was deeper at the back than it was at the front. Amelia couldn't deny that the heels made her ankles look amazing.

"Yeah," Natasha confirmed, "Steve will be looking at you all night." Amelia appreciated the comment dearly, her white teeth on show as her lips spread wide. "Now let's get to practising walking."

She scoffed, the brunette far too confident and not really aware of the dangers heels possessed when on inexperienced feet. "I know how to walk," she rebutted and Natasha nodded with a knowing smile playing on her lips, she stepped away and signalled for her to begin to walk. Amelia took one step and her foot buckled, the limb confused and put off its usual balance by the spike she was trying to balance on.

Natasha got a lot of joy out of the next hour they spent together as she trained her friend how to walk in heels, sadly she managed to get a hang of it quite quickly and then the two separated so they could get ready for the 'revels'.

Amelia bathed herself back in her own room, shaving her legs and hating every second of it. Back when she worked for Hydra she never had to shave, it wasn't important enough. After that she returned to Natasha's room because she wanted to do her hair and makeup, stating that it was important she make some sort of effort because it would be her first public appearance as a Stark. Despite frowning at the makeup and tools she was going to use on her hair, Amelia quite enjoyed the girl time she got with Natasha. They talked much more during that activity than they did training and Amelia got to learn the story of Natasha and Bruce.

It had started off with the Hulk which Nat found funny considering how much Bruce disliked the other side of himself. The Hulk thought Nat was pretty, the same way a baby liked a toy which made lots of noise and so they utilised that and created a way for them to calm the Hulk down and turn him back to Banner. That meant they spent a lot of time together and Nat got to know him a lot more. She first learned that he was a lot more than just the Hulk, he was a smart guy and more importantly, a _kind_ guy. Natasha's world was about missions, bringing down governments, assassinating threats, kicking ass and taking names. But Bruce was a whole new world, a brighter world. And when Natasha was around him, for once, she felt like the world wasn't such a horrible place.

Amelia could understand where her friend was coming from because that's exactly why she fell for Steve, he was a welcomed light in her own bitter world of darkness.

The party started just as the sun was setting over New York's skyline but Natasha and Amelia didn't make an appearance until night had fallen. Partly because Amelia's hair had been much more unruly than Natasha had expected, and partly because Natasha had said it was important for them to be 'fashionably late' during her first party.

When she arrived the revels were in full swing. People littered the main floor of the building, chattering and being merry. Though Amelia didn't really know most of the people there, she didn't care, her interest was in finding only one person. Automatically her eyes scoured the crowd, trying to find Steve. "He's by the pool table," Natasha helped, pointing Amelia in the right direction before leaving her so that she could go to the bar.

"Seagull!" Amelia cried joyfully as she sped her way over to where Sam and Steve were. She wasn't moving as fast as she'd liked to because of the heels she wore, but she made it eventually, and she was earning quite a few stares from strangers after yelling the name out.

Sam winced the moment he heard her yelling, but that didn't stop him from forming a toothy grin and hugging her tightly as soon as she was in reach. "F. A. L. C. O. N. I'm not going to spell it out for you again," he joked. The nickname 'Seagull' had first arisen when she'd asked him why he called himself Falcon and not something like pigeon or seagull, which was a bird she'd seen far more often than a Falcon. He'd gotten offended, Steve had laughed, and ever since then, she'd call him Sam the Seagull. "How've you been?"

"Good, things have been good. What about you?" Sam answered but she wasn't really paying any attention because Amelia had noticed Steve staring. Nat had been right. Steve couldn't take his eyes off her.

He'd never seen her in a dress before, it was always baggy t-shirts and skinny jeans with her leather jacket. But that dress hugged her in a way he'd never seen before and it was hard for him to not appreciate the satisfying curves of her body she'd put on display. His eyes were drawn like a moth to a flame, roaming downwards and seeing her legs which somehow looked longer than he would have perceived. She had scars on her a body, a multitude of them, on her legs, arms, chest. But she didn't care and she didn't bother covering them up, she was proud of them, and for some reason that made Steve find her even more attractive. He hated himself for ogling her so much, hated the way his mouth had fallen open, but Steve had truly been shocked by her dressing up for the occasion.

Sam noticed how she was staring at Steve, and how Steve was staring at her, so he stood to the side. A little smile of understanding playing on his lips as he watched Amelia start to walk towards him.

Things felt right that night. They'd got Loki's scepter, Amelia had gotten more information on her past, and Steve looked good enough for her to eat. Things felt _right_.

"Oh my god, the lost Stark!" A shrill voice cried from beside Amelia, a figure entering her line of sight and stopping her from reaching Steve. She did nothing to hide her disappointment, frowning angrily at the intruder but the stranger dismissed it with ease, pretending it didn't exist and beginning to chunter on, words bubbling from her lips at a rapid pace. "I can't believe it, honestly none of my friends can either. I was like ten when you went missing and just, like, oh my god you're here and, like, alive and stuff. It's just so wow! You have to come meet my other friends, they also can't believe it. We all watched the news when you went missing and stuff so, like, it's weird seeing you in the flesh. But not bad, I don't mean it like that, it's so good. I bet Tony's happy to have you back. Is he happy? I bet he's happy."

Amelia had been so caught up in trying to decipher what the zealous woman was spewing out that she hadn't paid attention to how she was pulling her further and further away from Steve, towards a large group of strangers.

She didn't like strangers, not when it was just her and the strangers. Amelia always felt like she'd say the wrong thing so she preferred it when someone else was with her, that way they could guide the conversation and she could give her input. She twisted her head around to look at Steve, sending him a signal with her eyes for him to come and save her. He caught it quickly and started to walk over but after two steps he hesitated, eyes moving away from her to something else, and then she felt a hand on her back and Steve sent her a comforting smile but he made no further movements.

"Are you guys bothering my sister?" Tony asked as he slipped beside his sibling, a newly made drink prepared in his hand which he passed to Amelia though she looked very confused. He'd had it made the second he noticed the swarm moving on his sister, that way he'd actually had an excuse to go stand beside her and the swarm wouldn't know the real reason he came over was that he didn't trust his sister to answer their questions appropriately.

"What? Us? No!" The swarm chorused, hollering at Tony's joking statement as though it was the funniest thing they'd heard.

Meanwhile, Amelia was staring down at the drink her brother had handed her questioningly, it looked the same colour as a coke but it smelt funny. She brought it closer so she could examine the smell better, sniffing at the glass and then quickly pushing it back away from her face. "It's rum and coke." Her brother explained in a hushed tone as the swarm continued to laugh and giggle.

"What's rum?"

Tony's mouth dropped open and he leaned away from her, as though she'd sprouted antenna and was threatening to probe him. "What's rum? Excuse me? You've never had rum?" Her eyebrows knitted together as she observed her brother's apparent shock. He let out a long exhale, mouth still agape but he moved back to stand near her. "Okay, that I can forgive, but what about whiskey?" She shook her head. "Bourbon?" Again, she shook her head. "Vodka?" He brought up a hand and stroked his facial hair, "have you had any alcoholic drinks, ever?"

She huffed and moved her head from side to side once again. Amelia didn't enjoy feeling like she'd missed out on something huge because she'd been a puppet for Hydra, and she'd been so sure that for the most part her and Steve had experienced all the 'normal' human stuff. They'd watched all the Star Wars, listened to all the albums Sam said were popular, hell, they even tried black ice cream once because loads of people were raving about it (it tasted like normal vanilla ice cream, and whilst Amelia might have been a fan of the colour black, that didn't mean she needed all her food to be that colour).

Her frustration melted to fear as her brother bared his teeth in a sinister smile, "oh, tonight is going to be fun."

And just like that, her night had become something she'd never expected. Amelia thought she'd end up being by Steve's side the entire night, teasing Sam, maybe joking with Natasha. But instead, her night became all about fleeting looks with Steve as she was working her way around the room with her brother, introducing herself to numerous strangers that all said how pleased they were to find out she was very alive. The journey was made a little less bothersome as every ten minutes she found a new drink in her hand, sometimes the drinks would burn her throat, but others would taste fruity.

In no time at all, she was learning the effects of alcohol, feeling a buzz vibrate her body in the most fantastical way. Her fingers tingling whenever they touched something. And, as a whole, she just felt lighter.

Steve passed her momentarily and she reached out as secretively as she could to stroke the back of his hand, and for a second he paused, wrapping his index finger around hers and then letting go. Leaving to the bar where he could retrieve a drink for himself. Natasha and Bruce were there but the redhead left just as he arrived, leaving him with the scientist who seemed lost in thought, or perhaps he was still lost in Natasha. Either way, Steve knew the feeling.

"It's nice," Steve commented as he leaned himself against the bar, feeling a little buzzed as Thor had given him a drink straight from Asgard which was strong enough to actually work on him, a feeling that was enjoyable considering how long it had been for him to have one. By no means was he drunk though, no, the last time he got drunk was when he was at Bucky's house. They'd snuck into his dad's liquor cabinet and Steve had gotten drunk after only two sips, drunk enough to start throwing up because his body back then wasn't made for alcohol, it wasn't made for anything really.

Banner's eyes moved to Steve swiftly, wide, "wha- what, what is?" He wasn't drunk, just alarmed that he'd been caught.

"You and Romanoff," he explained, a knowing look on his face as he cocked his head slightly to the side and smiled at Bruce, trying to show his friend that it was okay to talk about it to him.

"No," Bruce tried to deny, standing up straight and allowing his figure to become rigid, making it very clear that something had actually been going on despite the man's rejections of the notion. "We haven't… That wasn't…"

"It's okay," Steve chuckled, raising a hand to try and calm his panicking friend, "nobody's breaking any by-laws. It's just, she's not the most open person in the world. But with you, she seems very relaxed."

Steve was only trying to help, it was clear the two enjoyed each other's company and the soldier didn't think it would be such a bad idea for them two to get a little closer, but his persistence was only making Bruce feel shyer.

"No, Natasha, she… she likes to flirt." The excuse felt lame to Bruce, it tumbled from his lips as had everything else he'd tried to say on the matter and even he was struggling to believe what he was saying. He didn't actually expect Steve to, either.

Steve's eyes strayed back over to Amelia, expecting to see her stood surrounded by another group of people but instead she was standing by the window, arms crossed over her chest as she stared at the open skyline. Looking back to Bruce, he could see the scientists discomfort and so Steve decided it would just be a subject for another day. "I've seen her flirt, this isn't that." He reached over the bar so that he could grab two beers, he wasn't sure if Amelia would enjoy it but he was sure that it was the only drink he hadn't seen in her hand yet. "Look, as maybe the world's leading authority on 'waiting too long', don't. You both deserve a win."

He began to walk off, hoping to leave Bruce with those words to think over but the scientist had other ideas. "And what about you and Amelia?" Steve stopped, turning back to face Bruce who instantly became more nervous, his hands automatically fumbling. "I'm sorry, but, from what I know about you, and what I've heard about her, you both deserve a win too."

"You don't need to apologise," he responded, hating that despite how close he and Dr Banner had gotten, the scientist still sometimes fumbled around him, "and thanks."

Amelia was clearly lost in the lights of the city as she didn't notice immediately when her soldier approached, not until he offered her the beer. "Here," he said as he held it out to her.

A smile instantly blossomed across her face at the sight of him, the lights of the city twinkling in her black eyes even as she turned to face him. "Cheers," she responded, clinking her glass against his before bravely tasting the liquid much like how she had done for the most part of the night. She pursed her lips at the taste but she didn't gip like she had done when tasting white wine, "this isn't so bad. Not nearly as nice as the Sex on the Beach."

Steve choked on his drink, a blush covering his cheeks but thankfully Amelia's attention was still on the skyline. "Sam says he's sorry he didn't get to spend much time with you, he had to leave," Steve broke the news, trying to divert the conversation to some other subject before she could ask why he'd choked on his drink. Steve reminded himself he needed to get Natasha to have the sex talk with her because he certainly didn't want to.

The brunette pouted, "what? He left? God dammit. I swear I tried to get away all night but those… things, kept coming up to me and foaming at the mouth. Want to hear what my cover story is?" She turned to fully face him and he nodded his head, bringing his drink to his mouth once again. "Tony made it up, just so you know. So, I was kidnapped and taken to Europe where I was then raised by my kidnappers who were rich politicians that couldn't have a baby, sadly last year they passed away - somehow, together, it was a very touching moment, the way Tony told it had people in tears - but they did leave me a letter telling me all about how they found me on the side of the road and thought I was a gift from God himself. One girl actually applauded Tony when he finished the story." Amelia shook her head from side to side, astounded at how people could believe such a fanciful tale, whilst Steve just laughed.

"I wonder where I came in then," he mused, "probably something cheesy, if Stark's the one telling the tale."

Amelia nodded her head in agreement, beginning to think about it as well, "something by chance I think."

"Like we just so happened to be in the same shop or something?"

"No," she rejected, "shops aren't romantic. We'd have met somewhere nice, like a cafe. Like the one in France possibly, with the yellow walls and pretty flowers. You'd spill your coffee on me and, being the gentlemen you are, offer to pay for my drink as some sort of gesture to show how sorry you were. Then we'd start talking, look into each other's eyes and wham, love at first sight." They both laughed at the story, at how movie-esque it was, and how far from the truth it was as well.

"Maybe in another life," he retorted, placing his empty beer bottle on the ground, Amelia wasn't even half way through hers but Steve was in a very merry mood.

"Yeah," she contemplated, turning back around to face the window though her eyes remained on Steve's face for a moment, treasuring the way the city's light illuminated his jawline. "Maybe in another life," she turned back to the window, hand reaching out to hold his.

They both stared at the skyline in silence, watching as cars drove by, the vehicles being tiny dots of light that moved across the bottom meanwhile large screens flashed on the side of skyscrapers, advertising some menial product. Room lights in buildings acted as stars against the black canopy of nightfall.

He took another drink, sighing as pulled the bottle away from his lips. The night had felt great. He felt relaxed, and happy, and a little bit drunk which made him even happier. But it hadn't been a great night until he finally got to stand next to his girl and look over the sky.

During the morning he hadn't felt great. He'd pulled away from Amelia because he needed to figure out what he was going to do about the thing Strucker had said to him, he didn't want to feel concerned, he wanted to be able to push the mad scientists words aside but then he worried that if he feigned ignorance something bad would happen to her.

He'd given himself that night to forget about it though. Instead, for one night only, Amelia was just a girl he had a crush on and he was a boy drunk on love.

Steve twisted his head around trying to locate Tony. He found the billionaire talking with Thor about something and thankfully facing away from them, which gave Steve the courage to wrap his arm around Amelia's waist and pull her closer, strangely delighted by the happy squealing sound she made and the way her hands automatically raised and fell against his chest.

"You look beautiful tonight," he said, eyes trailing down her plump figure once again, appreciating the curves and angles on her body, making sure he memorised them to heart so that he could draw them later.

Amelia licked her lips, the room swaying around her but somehow still feeling correct because she was in Steve's arms. "You don't look too bad yourself," she mused, bunching up the navy shirt he wore beneath her fingers, not noticing at all that they'd worn the same colour that night. Many things went through her mind, all of them jumbled and difficult to catch. Steve smelt great. She could feel his heartbeat beneath her fingers. His voice was the greatest music she'd ever heard. Blue, his eyes were so blue, she loved his eyes. "Kiss me, Steve." It was a demand, something she'd never thought she'd make but she was just a drunk girl who had a crush on the man before her, and that was the trouble with alcohol, it made people stupidly brave.

He smiled, allowing himself to get lost in her black eyes as he leaned in closer, finding it much easier now that she was nearer his height. And for a moment, their lips did touch, but it was not a kiss. "You need to take me out on a date first."

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 **A/N: So, as I'd hoped I would, I got home tonight (did a huge clean of my room because it's getting checked tomorrow by the hostel peoples) and wrote out chapter 34, I cried whilst writing it which I hope is a good thing. I really got into my abuse with it, or at least my perception of my abuse and yeah, idk, like I've said before this story is helping me deal with it all and come to terms with it and that chapter has been incredibly therapeutic to write. I hope you all enjoy it when we eventually get to it.**

 **ANYWAY, OMG, ARE THEY GONNA GO ON A DATE? AM I ACTUALLY BEING NICE TO MY CHARACTERS FOR ONCE AND GIVING THEM WHAT THEY WANT? SHOCKING.**

 **To Unajet, the story gets explained in bits and pieces which I hope isn't too confusing for everyone, I've tried my best to make sure even though things aren't explained in chronological order that they make sense.**

 **To Sam0728, I SWEAR I WROTE THE DUST THING AND PLANNED IT WAY BEFORE INFINITY WAR OKAY, I was actually really worried IW would ruin a lot of my fanfics plot but it helps SO MUCH with a lot of it. Like the dust thing for instance lol. But still, I have proof that I planned all of this before I saw IW. And lol I'd love to write a grovelling Steve scene.**

 **To Hannah Banana, you can thank TheQueenOfGoodbyes for that because she's the one who gave me the idea ^^**

 **To thenightowl57, Hiraeth has more to do with part one than it does part two so I might change it one day. But the definition of Hiraeth fits in with AS09 pretty well and what she wants but can't have. I don't ever really use the word in the story though. And thank you for the compliments!**

 **To TheQueenOfGoodbyes, indeed, the tesseract certainly has some _effects_ on her, to say the least. AND YES THANK YOU FOR THE NICKNAME IDEA, I hope you don't mind that I actually used it. I think it hella helps with building that connection between her and Tony. **

**To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, thank you!**

 **And a big, beautiful, thank you to all the humans (and others) that read this chapter!**


	31. Chapter Twenty-Nine

**CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE**

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" _I don't want someone who stands next to me because they are lonely. I want someone who stands next to me because they can't imagine standing next to anyone else." ―_ _ **Unknown**_

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People filtered out of the tower as it got later into the evening, which Amelia was very grateful for as it meant she could actually spend time uninterrupted with Steve. She used his phone to send Sam a quick text where she apologised for being abducted through most of the night and they arranged to meet up for drinks next time Sam was in town. The rest of the night was far more fun than the beginning, mainly because she actually got to spend time with the people she liked. Thor tried to start another competition, this time with alcohol, but Steve quickly shut it down before it could even begin.

They all ended up sitting on couches, the Avenger's, Amelia, as well as Maria Hill and Dr Helen Cho. Amelia had never properly met Maria, she'd heard her voice when they were taking down Hydra, and she'd seen the woman walking around the tower, but they'd never really spoken until that night. The brunette felt awkward at first seen as Hill knew more about her than she did about Maria, but they eased into a conversation about Tony and Pepper's relationship and how Pepper was the one who wore the pants in the relationship, which obviously had Tony going on the defensive but it was more amusing than anything else.

Amelia ended up sat beside Steve, heels abandoned on the floor whilst her feet were propped up on the couch, her upper body leaning against Steve's body and a drunken smile on her face. Their closeness was earning quite a few side glances from Tony but he didn't know the half of it. The skirt of her dress covered up her and Steve's hands which were intertwined, his thumb playfully stroking the back of her hand. It felt like they were doing something dirty almost, and every time their eyes connected a secretive smile would blossom on their faces and they'd giggle. They were merry, so merry. As was everyone else who had stayed that night.

"I think they work," Amelia whispered to Steve, both of them trying to look at Natasha and Bruce without bringing attention to themselves. The scientist and spy were leaning towards each other from different couches, having their own little private conversation with joyous smiles stretching their lips wide.

Steve tightened his hand around hers, agreeing slightly but then he leant his head closer to her ear, "I'm a bit worried she'll end up eating him." For a second, Amelia's eyes bulged wide as she thought he meant something more literal but thankfully he continued to speak and she came to understand what he meant. "Don't get me wrong, we all have a soft side and Nat isn't immune to that. And maybe Bruce is the perfect guy to reach that side of her, but I'm worried she might get too defensive and just end up hurting both him and herself."

She reached out with her other hand and patted the top of his, "you know more about Bruce than I do, but I feel like the bigger issue is Bruce being defensive."

"Really?" He asked, taking a sip of his drink.

"Yeah," Amelia nodded her head, eyes going back to the pair who looked far more relaxed than she'd ever seen them. "I had girl talk earlier with Nat and what I got was that Bruce is the one holding back and keeping them from even giving it a go."

Steve offered her his beer which they'd been sharing and she gladly took it, taking a sip and enjoying the way the cold drink made her insides warmer. The soldier raised an eyebrow at her words, "you had girl talk?" He did nothing to hide the shock carried in his tone and Amelia laughed at it, nodding her head to show that, yes, she had indeed taken part in 'girl talk'.

"I know I'm not exactly your average human, but I am a girl, and so is Nat. We did girl talk, no big deal. There's no need to sound so surprised," she handed back the bottle, a small, joking, smile playing on her lips.

"Oh, don't worry," Steve began to joke back, "I definitely haven't forgotten that you're a girl."

Her lips broke open in a wide grin, his cheeky comment making her feel somewhat dizzy. That was the Steve she loved most of all, of course, she enjoyed all the other Steve's, but that one was her absolute favourite. He didn't think too much about what he was saying and he always had a smile on his face that reached his blue eyes.

"It's a trick," Clint yelled out towards Thor, gaining Amelia's and Steve's attention. He'd managed to get some drumsticks from Tony after showing off about his own drumming skills being far superior to her brother's, they'd gone down to Tony's music room but because of the liquor they'd consumed neither Tony nor Clint were able to make a proper beat. He'd kept a hold of them though and whilst he was sat on the floor he spun them in his fingers, in his drunken stupor believing that they made him look _cool._

"Oh, no." Thor denied, waving his hand at the hammer he'd placed on the glass table in the middle of their little circle. Clint had started arguing that there was nothing magical about the hammer, that it didn't really have anything to do with 'worthiness' because Clint didn't believe that there was an actual measurement for such a thing. His disbelief seemed to only amuse Thor further as the Asgardian had a prideful smile playing on his lips, "it's much more than that."

Tony arrived with another drink for Amelia to try, "the last one on the menu, I promise," he swore as he handed the strangely shaped glass over to his sister, ignoring the way she huffed. She'd had over twenty-five different drinks that night and Nat had told her she wasn't even close to trying all the types of alcohol in existence. She'd been quite happy sticking with Steve's beer, but as she turned to face her soldier again she saw him grasping Thor's special Asgardian alcohol and pouring a drop into his beer which meant she couldn't drink from it anymore. "It's tequila," her brother explained.

"Oh, bad things happen when you drink tequila, be careful," Maria warned, holding her own bottle of beer and Helen agreed, a haunted look in her eyes as she did so.

Amelia simply raised one eyebrow, not scared by their warning and taking a sip from the strangely shaped glass. It didn't taste horrible like the shot of vodka she'd done, but it didn't taste as nice as the Sex on the Beach she'd all but downed. The brunette had asked to try some of Thor's special concoction but Steve had gotten in the way of that as well, repeating the same thing he'd said when he stopped their drinking competition: 'I'm not carrying you to bed'. Amelia didn't see what would be so wrong with that, she actually quite liked the notion of him carrying her to bed.

Clint continued to argue against Thor, "uh, 'whosoever be he worthy shall haveth the power!'" He deepened his voice to try and sound like the Asgardian god, holding out both hands towards the hammer as he rumbled out the words, his voice making Amelia giggle. "Whatever man! It's a trick."

The god signalled to his weapon, still nonplussed by Clint's words, "well please, be my guest."

"Come on," Tony pushed Clint, also possessing his own doubts on the way the hammer worked, as well as wanting to see his friend comically fail.

"Really?" Clint seemed surprised at the sudden challenge being thrown his way, and how everyone seemed to be eager to watch it.

"Yeah," Thor confirmed.

The archer stood up and walked his way over to the hammer that was placed on top of the coffee table as though it were just another piece of furniture and not a mighty weapon wielded by Thor Odinson, the thunder god.

"Oh, this is gonna be beautiful," James Rhodes commented, leaning back in his seat slightly and awaiting the results. He wasn't as disbelieving as Tony and Clint. Aliens and gods existed, for Rhodes that meant pretty much anything was possible, including magical hammers.

"Clint, you've had a tough week, we won't hold it against you if you can't get it up," Tony said, receiving laughter from everyone in the room except Amelia, when she asked what was so funny, all eyes turned to her. "Someone will tell you when you're older, kid." Tony hoped it wouldn't have to be him.

Clint proceeded to try and lift the hammer but he had no luck with it, when Tony made some comments it was then his turn to be challenged. The entire room got excited, mostly because they couldn't wait to see his ego to take a hit. Tony faced the challenge confidently, not at all put off when he didn't manage to do it at first, instead, he got his Iron Man glove to give him extra strength, and he even got Rhodes to help him but neither of them managed it.

Banner was next, but he took the challenge a lot less seriously, pretending to change into the Hulk halfway through he stood up and raised his arms, releasing a mighty roar. Whilst most just stared at him, far less intimidated than they would have been if it were the actual Hull roaring, Natasha was grinning at his joke and that's when Amelia truly decided that they'd be good for each other.

After that everyone's attention turned to Steve though he seemed more reluctant than everyone else. The soldier had been quite happy where he was, watching his friends humorously fail whilst having his favourite girl pressed against his side.

"Let's go, Steve, no pressure." Tony pushed as his sister released Steve's hand and began to press it against his side, coaxing him to stand up and go try to lift up the hammer.

He placed his drink down and sighed reluctantly as he stood up, not expecting anything from the hammer. Still, he tried to make a big display just like everyone else had, pulling up his sleeves and sending a determined look to the inanimate object that would be his foe.

"If you become king of Asgard, I get to be your queen," Amelia announced, trying to supply him with some motivation.

The statement earned another look from Tony, his eyes moving from Steve and Amelia in questioning. "I'm sorry, is something going on here that you want to share with everyone?" He asked, noticing the way Steve had practically blushed at Amelia's decision to become his 'queen'.

"Don't worry, Stark," Natasha intruded, leaning closer to Tony so that she could pat him on the back and get him to calm down, "trust me, you've got nothing to worry about with those two." Tony gave Romanoff a short look, one that said he'd drop it but he didn't fully believe her (he'd seen the way they looked at each other, and how they flirted, Tony was definitely suspicious of the year they'd spent together). Natasha sent a wink towards Steve to let him know he could thank her later but the soldier was busy staring at Amelia, both of them holding secretive smiles on their faces because they knew a date would be happening very soon. As long as nothing else got in the way, that was.

In order to move on Steve returned his attention to the hammer, wrapping his hands around the handle and beginning to pull on it. Silence fell as everyone noticed the hammer budge slightly but Steve loosened his grip on it for a moment, making Amelia wonder what he was doing. Then he pulled again, making a point to release a struggled noise and seconds after he tried to pull again, he let go. Giving up on the challenge.

Thor laughed, pretending like he hadn't momentarily been worried, "nothing."

"Dammit Steve," Amelia joked, "we could have been the rulers of Asgard."

"Well, you're welcome to try," Steve replied, gesturing to the hammer.

Instead of standing up Amelia remained seated though, there was no point in her trying to lift the hammer because if no one else could do it, neither could she. Amelia could, however, lift the table up using her powers. Everyone watched as the table became wrapped in white energy and started to float upwards, but they all made a noise of complaint.

"That's cheating," Tony quickly argued whilst Thor said it didn't count. She shrugged her shoulders, dropping the table back down to the floor and conceding the challenge. Steve sat down beside her and she quickly returned to the position they'd previously been sat in, this time resting her head lazily on his shoulder as everyone turned to Natasha.

Romanoff quickly shook her head from side to side though, waving her hand and laughing at the preposterous notion, "Oh, no. No. That's not a question I need answered."

Most of the boys stood up once the challenge was over, retrieving new beers. "All deference to the man who wouldn't be king, but it's rigged," Tony continued to argue, handing Clint a beer.

"You bet your ass," the archer agreed.

"Steve, he said a bad language word."

The soldier turned his head slightly to face Tony after hearing Maria's words, sending the man a quick glare, "did you tell everyone about that?"

"The handle's imprinted, right?" Tony asked Thor, moving onto a different subject to avoid Steve's arguing. Steve reluctantly let the topic go (Tony wasn't really giving him a choice), choosing instead to nuzzle Amelia's slightly curled hair with his nose which she reacted to by tightening his grip on her hand. She was getting tired, which was a very bad thing because she was way too cosy to bother moving. It was seeming more and more like Steve would end up taking her to bed despite her not being all that drunk. "Like a security code. 'Whosoever is carrying Thor's fingerprints' is, I think, the literal translation?" Tony continued, eyes straying over to his sister who looked way too comfortable with the soldier.

"Yes, well that's, uh, that's a very, very interesting theory." Thor stood up from his seat and walked over to the hammer, he'd spoken to everyone like they were children, like he didn't want to hurt their feelings. He lifted it and, just so he could show off more, threw the hammer up in the air and caught it again. "I have a simpler one: You're all not worthy."

He received a chorus of boo's from everyone in the room, both Steve and Amelia laughing as everyone hurled their disagreements at Thor.

It had been a nice moment, a moment Amelia would cherish. But sadly nice moments didn't last all that long for her.

A loud ringing sound interrupted their moment, a pain erupting in everyone's ears at the shrill noise. It was enough to make Amelia sit up straighter and away from Steve's comforting arms so that she could use her hands to cover her ears.

"Worthy…" the word was drawn out, the tone of voice sounding almost disgusted by the word. Everyone's attention moved onto the owner of the voice, both Amelia and Steve standing up and becoming rigid as they tried to decipher if a threat had appeared. They looked towards where the elevator would be, finding a mess of metal and wires limping its way into the room. It was one of Tony's suits, but it was all broken and torn apart, not yet fixed. "No," it continued to speak as it turned and walked closer to them, Steve's arm automatically going in front of Amelia's in order to protect her but she grabbed it, letting him know she wasn't going to leave and that she was going to stick around and protect him just as much as he'd protect her. "How could you be worthy? You're all killers"

"Stark," Steve said her brother's name, his tone indicating that he wanted some sort of explanation as to why one of his suits was walking around insulting them.

Tony didn't have an explanation though, and was clearly just as baffled as the rest of them to see one of his own suits acting rogue. "Jarvis?" He called out. Tony had an inkling that it might have had something to do with his secret project but, it just didn't seem so possible.

"I'm sorry, I was asleep. Or… I was a- dream?" The robot seemed just as confused as the Avenger's, his head moving from side to side, as though he was only just taking in where he was. Perhaps, even, what he was.

Tony brought out his phone and began to press buttons, choosing to ignore the talking suit. "Reboot, Legionnaire OS, we got a buggy suit," he continued to speak to Jarvis even though the AI wasn't saying anything back to him. His phone wasn't working either. Something was wrong and Tony was getting even more panicked.

"There was a terrible noise… and I was tangled in- in…" Amelia moved from behind Steve, stepping closer to the suit and trying to analyse it more. She didn't understand AI's, whilst she was pretty good with hacking computers that was where her expertise ended. She did, however, understand pain, and the robot's words carried a lot of pain in them. Steve stopped her before she got too close, grabbing her wrist and keeping her from going any closer. "Strings," the robot finished, finally finding the word it had been looking for. "I had to kill the other guy. He was a good guy."

Steve's hand tightened around Amelia's wrist and she looked to him, recognising the serious look on his face and the glint he had in his eye, he didn't want her there and the moment the robot mentioned murder he'd become ever more adamant that he needed to get her out of there. "You killed someone?" He asked, voice emotionless despite the alcohol pumping through his veins. The soldier was starting to feel much more sober.

"Wouldn't have been my first call," the robot said, his tone implying that there was no other option, "but, down in the real world we're faced with ugly choices."

"Who sent you?" Asked Thor, his eyes turning to slits as he listened to the creatures babblings, finding no meaning in them other than that the robot was a danger.

A scrambled noise could be heard being emitted from the robot and then they all heard Tony's voice being replayed, "I see a suit of armour around the world."

"Ultron!" Bruce looked at Tony with wide eyes, finally realising what they were facing. Tony had guessed already, though he'd hoped it hadn't been.

"In the flesh," Ultron replied to Bruce's words, "or, no, not yet. Not this… chrysalis. But I'm ready. I'm on a mission."

Amelia noticed Maria Hill take out a gun, and then she berated herself for not thinking to bring a weapon. She'd gotten too cosy and thought she was actually safe. She should have known better.

"What mission?" Natasha questioned.

"Peace in our time."

More of Tony's Iron Legion blasted through the walls, Amelia managed to count five of the robots before Steve kicked up a table in order to protect them. The table got hit though and they were shoved back. The soldier wrapped his arms around Amelia and twisted their body so that he got the brunt of their landing.

"You okay?" She asked, breathless. When Steve nodded despite his wheezing, she got up off of his body, helping him to get back on his feet afterwards.

He quickly located a robot. "Give me a boost," Steve ordered as he ran over, jumping up towards one of the flying robots and being lifted towards it so he could wrap his arms around the robot and begin punching at its armour, denting it. The robot flew itself backwards, crashing into the wall of the room and damaging Steve enough to have him fall back to the ground.

The robot then moved onto Natasha and Bruce who were trying to make a break for it, shooting at them and earning two shots in the face from Natasha. Amelia rushed back over to Steve to make sure he was alright, once she was sure he wasn't dead she turned her attention to the robot. She used her powers to pull it towards her, and then she made a crushing motion with her hands, the robot folding in on itself as she did so, metal bending more and more until all that was left of the robot was a ball that dropped to the floor unceremoniously. She continued to stand guard of Steve as he recovered, getting his breath back.

She saw Thor destroying a robot and then noticed her brother flying on the back of one with what looked to be a simple stick in his hand. He pressed it into the neck and the light faded from the eyes of the robot as it turned off, dropping to the floor. She quickly raised up her hands and used her telekinesis to make Tony's landing a lot less harsh, to which he sent her a grateful look though he did seem quite freaked out when the white energy first surrounded him.

Whilst she had been distracted with saving her brother another robot began to move towards her. "Cap," she heard Clint cry, and then her ears picked on the whooshing sound of Steve's shield. She saw it being thrown in the air towards Steve but she commandeered it, making it go around like a boomerang and force itself into the middle of the robot, causing it to break and fall to the ground in pieces.

Amelia used her powers once again to bring the shield back down to her hands and she set off to go give it back to Steve, also searching for any remaining robots but the rest had been taken care of thankfully.

"That was dramatic," Ultron commented, beginning to walk from side to side again despite being only half a robot in its current condition. "I'm sorry, I know you mean well. You just didn't think it through. You want to protect the world, but you don't want it to change. How is humanity saved if it's not allowed to evolve?" Using the one hand it had, it lifted up one of the defeated Iron Legion, holding it up for them all to see, "with these? These puppets?" Rage could be heard in its voice, emotion. It was shown when Ultron clenched his hand harder, destroying the head of the Iron Legion. "There's only path to peace: The Avengers' extinction."

Thor had heard enough, he threw his hammer with a mighty swing, the weapon completely destroying the body of the robot.

Everyone remained silent for a moment, taking in what had actually happened. One moment, they'd been happy, and then Ultron appeared. No one but Tony and Bruce were even sure what Ultron was.

Steve finally took his shield out of Amelia's hands, looking both angry and upset whereas Amelia just looked confused. She was sure she'd heard pain in his voice, but it didn't make sense because as far as she was aware, robots couldn't feel pain. "Are you okay?" Steve asked her, voice soft despite his sullen expression.

She didn't have an answer just yet for that question, so instead, she looked up into his blue eyes and tried to offer him her best supportive smile. "Looks like we're gonna have to put our date on hold," she tried to make it a joking statement but her disappointment could still be heard quite clearly, making her wince.

Amelia turned to face her brother, remembering that Ultron had stated he was something to do with Tony, but when she looked at Tony she found him already looking at her and she knew instantly what was going through his mind and why he'd created Ultron. Because of the vision. And then she felt guilty, because despite saying she'd help him she clearly hadn't done enough because if she had actually been there for her brother (rather than concentrating on her lost year) perhaps they wouldn't be in the mess they were in.

* * *

 **A/N: How mary-sue would my character be if I let them pick up the hammer? The answer is _very_. Anyway, fun times, got to write more action which I still, to this day, hate. The chapter I'm about to write is very action-y and I'm noping already! I just want to write Amelia and Steve snuggling.**

 **Oh, and kind of awkward question, do you guys want smut or no? I, personally, feel very uncomfortable writing smut cause I'm hella pure and whatnot, but if it's what you guys want to read I can at least have a crack on it. I'm currently trying to figure out how I'm going to include certain things because they don't fall into the main storyline, like Amelia meeting Peggy. I think I might have to do like extra things? I don't know what to call them. Give me ideas pls.**

 **To Hannah Banana, I haven't figured out who will give her the sex talk yet, but I've planned her reaction lol. Thanks for the review!**

 **To JohnnyStormsGirl, your feeling was correct! No date for them, not anytime soon anyway.**

 **To TheQueenOfGoodbyes, yeah I don't really see Tony giving her the talk, in his head, she's still that baby that wouldn't stop crying when she first came home. Steve I don't know about, I feel like he'd get flustered cause like obviously he'll be wanting to do the sex with her but then not wanting to force her into anything and just ahhhh, yeah I need to figure out how I'm going to write this scene lol. I reckon Nat will have to come in at some point and be like 'here's the jist about the birds and the bees'.**

 **To thenightowl57, I reckon that's why this has been so easy to write everyday, because it's been more healing than it has stressful. AND IKR, I feel bad for Peggy because Amelia's now 'his favourite girl' and idk if that would be a jealousy issue or a guilt issue.**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, thank you!**

 **To Sam0728, I'm trying to find a good spot for grovelling Steve, but I might not have a good place for him until Civil War. And also, thank you so much!**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, hope you did end up enjoying the hammer scene! And if you do somehow recover please become my therapist because I am still traumatised, like I was genuinely shaking so much coming out of the theatre.**

 **And thank you to everyone that read the chapter!**


	32. Chapter Thirty

**CHAPTER THIRTY**

* * *

" _People did change, and a change could be a bloom as well as a withering." ―_ _ **Richard Yates**_

* * *

Everyone had sobered up. Amelia had heard quite a few times from Sam about how coffee, or sometimes greasy food, can help sober people up without leading to a hangover, he'd never mentioned how killer robots were also a great method.

They'd all moved down to Tony's labs where they could treat their wounds and get to the bottom of everything. Amelia handed Maria some more tissues for her bleeding foot that she was digging glass out of before sitting herself on one of the tables, hand automatically going to rest against her aching shoulder. Steve had been stood across the room, arms crossed and a frown on his face, but the moment he saw Amelia's ached expression he walked over to her, "you okay?" His hand automatically moved to her shoulder, as though he'd be able to feel the ache she felt in her muscles.

"Yeah," she attempted to reassure, taking his hand in her own and for once Steve didn't mind the open contact. The soldier dared Tony to make any sort of snide comment toward him because he was just looking for an excuse to teach the guy a lesson after Ultron's appearance. "What about you?"

His cheeks puffed out slightly as he exhaled a furious breath, eyes moving over to her brother momentarily. When he looked back his eyes said enough, she tried to send him a supportive smile, not really knowing what she could do to ease his fury so she pressed her lips against his knuckles, the same knuckles he'd been punching a robot with moments earlier.

She didn't really know what to do. On one hand, she understood why her brother had created Ultron, she was the only one who knew about the vision he'd had and what true horrors he was trying to prevent. And then on the other, her brother hadn't shared with her that he was creating Ultron, creating a threat (whether his intention was to make one or not didn't really matter, not in the grand scheme of things), so she could share Steve's anger.

There was something else as well. That pain she'd heard in Ultron's voice, it was so familiar to her. It was pain, but it was also fright, from being in a new world that they were unfamiliar with. Amelia wondered if perhaps Ultron could be saved like her because he felt the same pain she had. Amelia thought it best to keep that to herself though.

"All our work is gone," Bruce announced to the rest of the group, wringing his hands together, "Ultron cleared out, used the internet as an escape hatch."

"Ultron," Steve scoffed, repeating the name with disdain whilst tightening his hand around Amelia's hand, using her to help ground himself. Of course, he had to be much more careful with how tight his grip was, but she showed she didn't mind by squeezing his hand back, if she was in pain she'd tug away.

"He's been in everything," Nat continued from what Bruce had been saying seen as she'd been the one helping him, Tony should have helped, he knew that, but he was too busy thinking over the vision and worrying that he might have helped make it truer. Nat crossed her arms as she turned to face the rest of the group, "files, surveillance. Probably knows more about us than we know about each other."

Amelia didn't like that notion, she was just getting used to Steve knowing about her past, she didn't need some murderous robot knowing everything as well.

"He's in your files, he's in your internet. What if he decides to access something a little more exciting?" Rhodes asked, holding onto his arm which had been damaged when a robot decided to shoot him down.

Maria looked up from digging glass out of her foot, eyes widening with alarm, "nuclear codes."

"Nuclear codes," Rhodes repeated, agreeing with Maria and trying to get the Avengers a little more worried. "Look, we need to make some calls, assuming we still can."

"Nukes? He said he wanted us dead," Natasha supplied, trying to ease the situation though it wasn't all that helpful.

Steve's grip tightened again as he looked up, "He didn't say dead. He said extinct," he reminded everyone, anger clear in his tone of voice.

"He also said he killed somebody," Clint intervened.

"But there wasn't anyone else in the building," Maria finished pulling the last bit of glass out of her foot. She put down the tweezers she'd been using and started to clean the wound using some cotton wool and disinfectant Amelia had happily retrieved for her.

Tony walked further into the room, everyone's interest instantly moving onto him as he was the one they mostly blamed for Ultron. "Yes there was," Tony revealed by clicking on his phone, making a hologram appear. The hologram looked like an orange orb which had been shattered to pieces, whilst Amelia didn't really know what she was looking at, the rest of the Avengers had seen the hologram before and knew that it was Jarvis.

"This insane," Bruce commented, staring at the wreckage before him, acknowledging that it was essentially a dead body and feeling guilt swell in his stomach because _he'd played a part in making the murderer_.

"Jarvis was the first line of defence," Steve said, thinking strategically, "he would've shut Ultron down, it makes sense."

"No," Bruce responded, seeing something far different to what the soldier saw among the wreckage of Jarvis' consciousness, "Ultron could've assimilated Jarvis. This isn't strategy, this is… rage." Amelia could see it too, the devastation left over from the attack was proof enough, it hadn't been a clean kill.

Just then the sound of boots could be heard approaching, Amelia turned to see who it was and found Thor entering the lab, and he didn't look happy. Amelia wasn't surprised to see his anger (Ultron had gotten away with the scepter that she knew Thor had been trying to locate for over a year) but she did become slightly alarmed when she saw the god approaching her brother, eyes burning a hole through Tony's skin.

She could decipher what he was aiming to do in under a second and so the brunette tugged her hand free of Steve's grip and stepped closer, "Thor!" She called his name, trying to get through the fog of rage he was blinded by but he continued to march over to her brother and grab him by his throat.

"Look's like rage is going around," Clint commented, earning an icy glare off of Amelia who wasn't so pleased with him for just standing around and doing nothing.

She intervened herself, using her powers to break the pair apart and then walking in between them the moment Thor tried to charge over to her brother again. "Come on, use your words, buddy," Tony commented, doing himself no favours but thankfully Thor remained where he stood in front of Amelia, allowing her to keep two hands pressed against his chest just in case he tried to do anything else. Despite only knowing her for a week, he liked the smaller Stark far more than he did Tony at that moment in time.

Thor raised his hand, pointing an accusing finger towards Tony and stabbing it in his direction, "I have more than enough words to describe you, Stark!" He spat his words out through gritted teeth, pushing against Amelia's hands slightly.

"Thor!" Steve shouted his name in order to gain his attention, in order to stop him from doing any accidental harm to his girl, "the legionnaire."

The god's eyes remained on Tony for a second before he managed to compose himself, stepping back from Amelia's hands so he wasn't domineering over her. "The trail went cold about a hundred miles out but it's headed north, and it has the scepter. Now we have to retrieve it, again." His last words were sent to Tony but he made no move to attack him again, which Amelia was very grateful for. She'd seen Thor in battle and decided then and there that she never wanted to be his opponent, maybe if she managed to get the hammer out of his hand she'd stand a chance but he was still stronger than her so the odds still weren't in her favour.

"The genie's out of that bottle. Clear and present is Ultron." Natasha commented, feeling just as unimpressed as Thor.

"I don't understand," Helen piped up as she turned away from the empty shell Ultron had previously been using to talk through, "you built this program, why is it trying to kill us?"

And then, Tony started to laugh. Lighthearted _giggles_ shook the man's body, making him come off slightly insane. Bruce was stood beside him, shaking his head and trying to stop his friend before he made the situation worse for himself. "You think this is funny?" Thor asked, taking another step back towards Tony but when Amelia pushed out one of her hands he relented quickly, bowing his head to her in apology for startling her.

"No, it's probably not, right?" Tony turned to face the group with a smile playing on his lips and chuckles still emptying from his belly, he watched his sister as she mouthed 'stop' to him but he ignored her, "Is this very terrible? Is it so… is it so… it is. It's so terrible."

"This could have been avoided if you hadn't played with something you don't understand," Thor attempted to explain but in his usual fashion Tony interrupted.

"I'm sorry," Tony said though it wasn't clear whether he was apologising for interrupting Thor or apologising for creating a murder-bot. "I'm sorry. It is funny. It's a hoot that you don't get why we need this."

Amelia gave up there, returning to Steve's side so that she could help soothe his anger. She tried to be supportive but Tony seemed to be fixed on making the situation even worse on himself, seeing that his sister had taken a step back Bruce decided to try himself, walking up behind Tony and trying to signal with his hand for him to calm down, "Tony, maybe this might not be the time to-"

"Really?!" Tony asked, turning to face the scientist and scoffing at his behaviour, "that's it? You just roll over, show your belly, every time somebody snarls?"

"Only when I've created a murder bot," Bruce was quick to argue back.

Amelia didn't like how it was starting to feel like everyone was against Tony but she didn't know how to help, she wasn't good with stuff like that and so she turned to face Steve, hoping that despite his rage he'd try and stop the situation from escalating any further. She rarely ever asked for his help when it came to a fight, but this was one she didn't think she'd be able to win. Blue eyes connected with brown as she gestured with her head for him to start talking, and start leading. His frown deepened when he realised what she wanted him to do but he fell helpless to her wide black eyes.

Meanwhile Tony was still arguing with Bruce, " we didn't. we weren't even close. Were we close to an interface?"

"Well you did something right, and you did it right here." Steve tried to jump in, but he was just as mad as everyone else that Tony had been doing a secret project which had ended up going rogue. Amelia's hand tightened around his slightly, she didn't expect him to forgive Tony, but she needed him to do crowd control before anything else escalated. He sighed, softening his voice after feeling Amelia's squeeze, "the Avengers were supposed to be different than SHIELD." He wasn't just going to let Tony get away for what he did, but he stepped closer and attempted to take over the situation before someone, like Thor, got riled up again.

"Anybody remember when I carried a nuke through a wormhole?" Tony asked, raising his hand in the air, Rhodes sarcastically disagreeing whilst everyone else sighed and rolled their eyes. Amelia just looked away, hating the situation before her and the awkward position she'd been put into because of her relationships with both Steve and Tony. As she was looking away, she noticed some papers inside of the printer that had a very recognisable image on them, she moved over towards them as Tony continued to speak.

"Saved New York?" Tony continued, "recall that? A hostile alien army came charging through a hole in space. We're standing three hundred feet below it. We're the Avengers. We can bust arms dealers all the livelong day, but, that up there? That's…" His voice had turned quiet as he remembered the image of all the Avengers laid dead below an army of chitauri, "that's the end game. How were you guys planning on beating that?"

Despite everything, Steve could at least understand fear. There were plenty of times he'd face Hydra back in World War II and be scared that they'd overpower the good guys, scared that their forces were just too strong and that, in the end, they'd win. But every time he got proved wrong. Every time he went into battle with his companions and _every time_ they would grasp victory. And because of all those times, the answer to Tony's question was very simple for Steve. "Together."

Amelia appeared again by Steve's side, grasping his hand that he had felt a little colder since she'd abandoned it. She'd heard what he said, and the resolute expression on her face told him that she agreed.

Her brother, on the other hand, didn't look so sure. He stepped up closer towards Steve, wet eyes falling onto his sister, "we'll lose." Tony had a grimace on his face, only able to see the ugly truth, only able to see his friends and his sister dead on the ground.

"Then we'll do that together, too."

* * *

Amelia had been one of the first to leave, making her exit swift as she hid the papers she'd stolen underneath her dress. She made a pit stop to the kitchen on her way back to her room, making hot chocolates for her and Steve as she felt they were extremely needed after the night they'd had, and then once she was back in her room she settled on the floor and began to read through the papers she'd found.

' **Project Artemis'** was printed across the front of the page and underneath was the Hydra symbol she knew very well. Amelia had remembered the words 'project Artemis' from the video she'd watched with her brother and she guessed that the file in her hands was a file Jarvis had managed to find on Pierce's folder before he was killed by Ultron.

This time she didn't turn away. It wasn't like the videos, she read each page and focused on every word, trying to not let herself be overcome by panic or sickness.

Steve entered just as she'd finished reading it. The moment he entered the door he let out a relieved sigh, glad to be away from the tension in Tony's lab, "we've decided to tackle things tomorrow, everyone needs to rest and sober up," he relayed the information robotically as he began to take off his shirt, wanting nothing more than to go to bed and let his weary eyes close. As he moved to go retrieve some pyjamas he spotted that on top of the dresser was a hot chocolate waiting for him. The smile that formed on his face was easy, taking less energy from him than his frowning had been. It was sweet that Amelia had made him one, and the old tradition had him unwinding quickly, he grabbed the mug and turned to face his favourite girl, "thank you."

His smile dropped again when he saw the way her eyebrows were knitted so closely together, she looked up at him but the expression didn't disappear, "I didn't know how long you'd take, so the drink might be cold," her words were stretched out, and though their topic wasn't enough to be scared about, fear rumbled her voice.

"Hey," he soothed, quickly moving down to her side and putting his hot chocolate next to hers which was on the floor, still full. "What's wrong?" He reached out with a hand to touch her shoulder but the moment he made skin to skin contact her eyes flashed over towards his hand and an energy pushed it away. He quickly put his hands up into the air, a sign that he wasn't a threat, and then he noticed the crinkled pieces of paper she was holding tightly in his hands, instantly recognising the Hydra symbol on the front of them. "What are they?"

She looked back down at the papers, as though she'd forgotten they were even there, "um, Jarvis- He was decrypting files on Pierce's flash drive. This was the file, I think. Project Artemis. It's me, I'm Project Artemis." She tried to explain but her words came out jumbled, her mind fogged by what she'd read, "videos, there were videos too. I watched them yesterday."

"Can I read the file?" He didn't like the panic he saw on her face and he had to know why. For a moment Amelia just looked between him and the papers, before slowly, with shaking hands, passing him the papers.

* * *

 **A/N: So I totally forgot to mention at the end of chapter 27 that Tony had Jarvis going through all the files they'd collected for information on Project Artemis :/ I'm a bad writer. I literally made a note to myself and I still forgot to add it before posting the chapter. Also lol we're on Chapter 30 (I'm on chapter 36 technically) and we're not even halfway through this entire story, this is gonna be a long ass project, I hope you guys stick around!**

 **To Sam0728, this review was so sweet and then that last line and honestly tears appeared in my eyes thank you so much!**

 **To LieuDrake, thank you so so so much!**

 **To Hannah Banana, the vision is pretty much the same but I write a new take on it because obviously having Amelia in his life changes a few things. I really want to have Amelia meet Peggy before she passes in CW, I might have to do it right at the end of AOU though**

 **To thenightowl57, I've accidentally made her like BFF's with Thor, and honestly, if things don't work out with Steve I reckon they'd be pretty cute together. But yeah, I want to write more interactions with the other Avengers cause idk it's fun, and yeah I think I'm gonna go with implied smut because I'm too pure and innocent y'know**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, your explanation made perfect sense! I reckon that's what I'm going to go with so thanks for helping my decision! And yeah lol I'm excited to write it, just need to figure out where the hell I'm going to put it**

 **And a big ol' thanks to everyone that read the chapter!**


	33. Chapter Thirty-One

**CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE**

* * *

" _Open me slowly this is the first time I have bloomed in someone's hands" ―_ _ **Gemma Troy**_

* * *

 _ **Project Artemis - Test One - 12/03/12**_

Today is the first test on Experiment AS09 which Baron Strucker will be leading. Strucker's research on the tesseract has shown that there is a power inside which he believes he can utilise and meld with AS09's own powers, simulations have proven Strucker's point so our leader, Alexander Pierce, has given Strucker permission to do his experiment though we can only do the tests once a week as SHIELD can not find out we are using the tesseract for our own experiments.

The aim of Project Artemis is to harness the power of the tesseract and place it inside of the experiment so that Hydra will be able to control its power much more easily. Strucker's hypothesis is that the power of the tesseract will meld with the telekinetic and telepathic abilities she already possesses. He believes that not only will it make her much stronger but it will also supply her with more abilities, including: psychic energy manipulation, clairvoyance, cosmic manipulation and psychometry. There is no way of fully knowing what abilities the tesseract will give her but both Pierce and Strucker have high hopes.

During the first test, AS09 was clearly in pain, she was aware for the first thirty minutes, after that she fainted and did not recover until six hours later. The experiment was not the same when she woke, she was very tired and her heartbeat was 74 BPM, the on-site doctor has recommended bed rest for the remainder of the day.

For the sake of the project, Alexander Pierce has taken Baron Strucker's advice and cancelled all of AS09's missions for the next two months. The experiment is to be kept locked in her room except for when we are testing on her.

On the device Baron Strucker created (with the assistance of scientist Arnim Zola who originally designed the power modulator for the tesseract) he has explained that there are levels of power he can transfer into the experiments body, during the next test he plans on increasing the amount though he has been ordered by Pierce to stop all experimentations if the experimentations life becomes at risk.

 _ **Recorded by Nosachyov, Elie**_

* * *

 _ **Project Artemis - Test Two - 18/03/12**_

A new piece of technology has been added which Strucker states can read AS09's power. Using the technology Strucker is able to see any fluctuations in the telepathic energy she uses, this includes if it gets more powerful, if her powers do meld with the tesseract.

During test two the experiment was less thrown off by the sudden pain, she tried not to scream at first but she only lasted two minutes. She started to beg for Strucker to stop the test. Pierce has decided that after the experiments they need to build up AS09's pain threshold.

There are five different levels of which the power can be transferred from the tesseract. Strucker states that level four is most likely the point that would kill the experiment and so he has stated it would be a last resort if they do not see any progress being made, however, Pierce has stated that level four is not an option as experiment AS09 is 'too important to kill'.

Strucker tested level one for an hour and there were no fluctuations in the power reader, he had to stop the test after the hour because the experiments heart rate rose to a dangerous level again. She is locked up in her room again until the next test. The experiment has returned to consciousness again and is experiencing a rise in temperament but this is not unusual behaviour.

Test two is concluded with no change to both the experiment and the tesseract.

 _ **Recorded by Nosachyov, Elie**_

* * *

 _ **Project Artemis - Test Three - 26/03/12**_

During the past week the experiment showed signs of rage and so Pierce was forced to place her inside isolation to restart her. She was taken out for test three and placed back in afterwards.

Throughout test three the experiment did remain conscious and she experienced a nosebleed part way through. Strucker brought the transfer up to level three and there was a slight fluctuation in her powers, the readings saying that her powers had heightened for a moment. AS09 stated 'it's burning my insides' which has led to us believing that the power has started to transfer but it was not permanent as once Strucker turned off the device all fluctuations in power stopped and went back to normal.

Strucker believes that this is proof that AS09's powers and the tesseracts powers are compatible but they need more of a push to meld, he has requested to go up to level four but Pierce has refused. The two had an argument but eventually managed to come to an agreement that Strucker keep the transfer going for six hours. Strucker has stated that it is unlikely for level three to kill her and that the extra time might help tie both energy's together.

 _ **Recorded by Nosachyov, Elie**_

* * *

 _ **Project Artemis - Test Four - 02/04/12**_

Experiment AS09 was brought to the table in a rage and Strucker was forced to inject her with anaesthesia to keep her unconscious. He was quick to set up the next test and he moved straight to level three rather than building up the levels from one.

The fluctuations in her powers started again and she had another nosebleed, blood also coming out of her ears, but other than that, there was nothing unusual until the third hour when her veins started to light up a white colour. Strucker believes that it is the effect of her powers melding with the tesseract.

The light was beautiful to look at, it moved through her body as though it was alive. It was like she became a star.

 _ **Recorded by Nosachyov, Elie**_

* * *

 _ **Project Artemis - Test Five - 09/04/12**_

Her powers turned black this time they experimented on her, and I'm still not sure what I saw. It came out of her veins and wrapped around her body like a blanket, cocooning her. The white energy from before radiated off of her like smoke, but it smelt of cold. It was beautiful. So beautiful. The more I looked into the blackness the more I saw them, stars. Millions of them. She was a star, or, she controlled them. I have no idea, all I know is that it was beautiful.

 _ **Recorded by Nosachyov, Elie**_

ADDITIONAL NOTES: The previous recorder has been terminated as the experiment had made them go insane, we believe this could be an effect of her new powers coming into fruition. They have still not melded together though and so Pierce has ordered for the tests to end as after the last test the experiment has gone into a lethargic state, from what we can gather she doesn't remember anything about what had occurred during the test. Strucker is under supervision as he also might be suffering mentally after seeing what had occurred with her powers, he seems to be quite aggressive at the moment, stating repeatedly that he is close to achieving his greatest accomplishment.

 _ **Recorded by Dedova, Raisa Pretrovna**_

* * *

 _ **Project Artemis - 16/04/12**_

Strucker has gone against orders and orchestrated another experiment behind Hydra's back, he managed to convince other Hydra agents - who are now going to be terminated - to kidnap both experiment AS09 and the tesseract (as well as all equipment needed). None of our loyal agents were able to get to him in time.

From the video recorded we are able to see that AS09 is conscious and now has additional abilities, Strucker believes that a part of her has now melded with the tesseract and given her new abilities. He seems to have lost his mind completely just like the previous recorder and he keeps repeating that she has been 'gifted with the power of the cosmos'. Agents are now out looking for her and the experiment has been deemed a threat, after watching the video I can confirm she killed multiple soldiers by turning them into dust and she did the same to a wall and other objects in the room. It seems she can destroy everything if she wills it so.

Project Artemis is closed now and decisions are still being made on what to do with Strucker.

 _ **Recorded by Dedova, Raisa Pretrovna**_

 _ **Project Artemis - 02/05/12**_

Experiment AS09 has finally been found in the city of New York though she seems to have dissociated herself and is repeatedly saying that she 'needs to find me', Pierce ordered for her to be taken back to the base immediately as New York is currently not a safe place because of the alien invasion. We do not know if the experiment has had any interactions with the aliens but she was in the middle of the battleground when the agents managed to locate her.

Pierce has ordered us to do a mind wipe on her in hopes that it will make her go back to normal. The powers are still there, both black and white energy is radiating from her body but she isn't hostile or attacking anyone.

 _They were right, all of them. It isn't just her energy either, I looked into her eyes and I saw them. The stars._

 _ **Recorded by Dedova, Raisa Pretrovna**_

* * *

Steve placed the papers down, able to understand finally why Amelia had been so shocked to read through them. He was quiet for a moment before his blue eyes raised up to hers, "you said there were videos?"

"Yeah, Tony has them," she leaned her head back against the bed and looked up at the roof, trying to wrap her mind around the fact that the girl they wrote about was in fact her. There was a lot of information she needed to take in though. That her powers had been melded with some sort of alien technology which Loki had used to create a teleport from space with. That she'd drove three people to insanity (though it only recorded two, the last page had her thinking that Dedova Raisa had also fallen victim).

"I need to see them," Steve's voice had a shake in it that made her look at him, and she became alarmed when his eyes averted from hers, almost as though he was terrified to look into them, "I need to know what you look like, because, I think I may have met you in New York."

"What do you mean?" Her eyebrows scrunched together as she tried to lean in closer, placing her hand on his cheek and trying to get her soldier to look into her eyes again, "we've met before?"

The soldier nods his head slowly. He was staring at the hot chocolate, it had probably gone cold and all the leftover powder had floated to the top and created a layer. "Yeah," he raised his hand to grasp the one Amelia was holding against his cheek, he held it and reminded himself of how familiar she was to him, reminding himself that though she may have been the girl he met during the chitauri invasion she was _by no means_ the same person.

"What did I do?" Her voice was tinted cold by fear. She'd had to have done something bad, truly terrible. Why else would Steve have been avoiding her eyes? Amelia tightened her grip on his hand, hating the not knowing and finally feeling the same frustration Steve had always felt when she hid away a part of her past from him. Eventually, she relinquished, giving up on trying to comfort him and instead she stood up, letting go of his hand and making her way over to the door so she could go to the lab and get the videos but then a thought occurred to her. "Ultron… he deleted all our files. He'll have deleted the videos as well."

Amelia wanted to laugh. Maybe it was a trait that ran in the family, laughing at inappropriate times, but Amelia found it _hilarious_ that every single time she got close to progress, something just had to get in the way. Something _always_ got in the damn way.

"What did I do?" She asked again, voice firmer and more demanding this time. Amelia walked back over, trying to be patient and waiting for an answer but Steve still refused to share it with her. He was thinking, she could see it in his eyes, the cogs in his mind were turning around and doing more than the machinery was capable of. "Did I kill someone? Someone important?" If he wasn't going to tell her, then she was going to try and guess, and if he reacted than she'd have her answer. He remained stone-faced at her first suggestion, which made things a little harder for her to guess seen as AS09 only ever killed. "Did I kill a lot of people? A lot of aliens? An Avenger? Did I just hurt people? Did I stand around and do a one-person version of the tango?" She didn't mean to get so frustrated, didn't mean to yell at him but she couldn't forget this. Not this. " _What did I do?!_ "

"You didn't do anything, I did!" Steve pressed his fist against his chest as he yelled the answer at her, not angry at her, angry at the past for not being so easily ignored anymore. "I killed you." He instantly winced when he realised what he'd done. The shock was apparent on Amelia's face though he wasn't sure if it was because of his words, or because he'd yelled at her. He let out a breath he'd been holding in and allowed his eyes to fall back to the carpet, ashamed, "you died because of me."

* * *

 **A/N: Gonna be honest with you rn, kinda hate this chapter but I'm hella excited about the next three. We got Wanda VS Amelia, we got a lil angst, we got a lil bit of more angst. I managed to write two chapters today because I woke up SUPER early for no reason! Yey! ALSO OMG COULD THIS MEAN I'VE SOMEHOW MANAGED TO WRITE HER INTO AVENGERS ASSEMBLE, WHAAAAAT? Yes. Yes I have, wrote the chapter today and everything, it's pretty good if I do say so myself.**

 **I've got another thing to ask y'all and it's pretty _IMPORTANT_ : So I've been trying to figure out how to include some stuffs that I really want in the story before Civil War, but they don't fit anywhere in AOU either, so I'm thinking Part Three might be my own plot rather than jumping straight to Civil War. Would that be an issue for you guys? PLEASE LET ME KNOW, whilst I am the writer, you guys are my readers and you're important to me.**

 **To Sam0728, I might not even kill Pietro who knows, AND NEXT CHAPTER! We gets the glory of Wanda VS Amelia (there's not that much action tbh). And once again thank you, oh my god, you're so nice to me like rn I'm super doubting this story so your words mean so much to me so thank you and thank you again and, oh, also, thank you!**

 **To Unajet, I've been wondering where you were! Hope you enjoyed the binge, I included the Natasha and Amelia bonding session you suggested, now I'm just looking for other places I can include some more bonding with the other** **characters.**

 **To TheQueenOfGoodbyes, spoke to my friend about your suggestion and she couldn't stop laughing at the idea, at first I was just thinking Natasha but now it might be like a team effort of everyone trying to explain it to her. I'm really worried I'm not going to do this scene justice now, but I'm still so excited to write it. And yeah, I'm doing my best to make her anti-Mary Sue, so no hammer picking up sadly.**

 **And a big ol' thank you to everyone that read the chapter, I'm sorry this one sucks!**


	34. Chapter Thirty-Two

**CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO**

* * *

" _May the flowers remind us why the rain was so necessary" ―_ _**XAN OKU**_

* * *

"Steve!" Amelia's feet tapped harshly against the laminate floor of the Avenger's tower as she chased after her soldier, only, she wasn't quite sure if he was her soldier anymore.

They hadn't slept together that night. She thought they did but when morning came and he wasn't next to her, she found the empty space beside her cold and that's when Amelia _knew_ through the night he'd left and gone somewhere else and that thought absolutely killed her.

He had just finished his breakfast and was going to meet Maria Hill who told him she'd gotten information on Ultron, and he'd hoped to avoid meeting Amelia. He just needed space to think. "Steve," she repeated as she finally caught up to him, hand instantly reaching out for his hand. Whilst the touch had felt familiar, it didn't feel as safe as it used to, for either of them. "Look at me, please," her voice was so desperate, and he did as she said but he did it like a soldier following an order, his lip set in a straight line and his eyes dull. "I'm alive," her voice reached a whisper as her hands settled on top of his cheeks, "I'm alive."

No matter how much she repeated it, his eyes stared through her like she was nothing but a ghost. Even when tears appeared in the corner of her eyes, though it did hurt him to do so. Even when he saw resentment burning in her stare because Amelia did hate what she saw, because it made her feel like she was back to being AS09 which was something she was growing tired of running from.

"There you are," a voice intruded on their moment, a saving grace for Steve. Amelia's hands dropped down to her side as Maria approached, a tablet in her hand which she began to recite information off, completely unaware of the wreckage going on between Steve and Amelia. "He's all over the globe. Robotics labs, weapons facilities, jet propulsion labs, reports of a metal man, or men, coming in and emptying the place."

Amelia looked at the soldier with the tiniest amount of hope, pushing him with her eyes to tell Maria that they were busy and had something more important to discuss. But his attention was focused on Maria, not her. "Fatalities?"

"Only when engaged. Mostly guys left in a fugue state going on about old memories, worst fears, and something too fast to see." Maria replied, the two beginning to walk down the hallway so they could visit the room where everyone else was.

The brunette remained where she stood for a second, looking down at the floor with pursed lips as she struggled to accept what had happened.

Everything had just gotten too much. They'd pushed too much aside and now… it had just become too much.

"This is a good thing," Pierce hissed into her ear, "you can go back to Hydra now, become who you were meant to be. Go _home_ , experiment." Amelia looked up at the roof and tried to blink away her tears, tried to ignore Pierce's poisonous words. It was all just too much.

She didn't know how long she'd stayed in the hallway, listening to Pierce's coercion, grieving over her lost relationship with Steve, not knowing how she could possibly fix things. Amelia didn't let a single tear go though, she _refused_ the tears, the weakness.

Natasha was the one who found her in the hallway, after the rest of the Avenger's had come to a decision on what their next move would be, the redhead had grown suspicious because when she asked Steve where Amelia was, he shrugged his shoulders and walked away. It was like he wasn't even trying to keep it from being obvious. "Hey there," she said, slowly, carefully approaching her friend that was leaning slack against the hallway wall.

Amelia looked up, frown instantly transforming into a fake smile, "hey, I was just going to meet everyone."

"Well you're a bit late," Nat came to stand next to her, arms crossed over her chest as she observed the brunette, "we've already had the meeting, Ultron's killed Strucker and deleted all the files we had on the computer so we had to search through boxes of folders because we knew Ultron was trying to keep something from us. We eventually found out about this guy who stole vibranium from Wakanda. We reckon he's going to be Ultron's next target."

The news of Strucker's death hit Amelia hard, alarms rang shrill in her mind when she realised that the man who experimented on her - the last person alive who could supply her with answers - was dead. "Right," Amelia cleared her throat, feeling Natasha's eyes on her and forcing herself to not show the weakness she felt weighing down on her stomach, "I'll go get ready for the mission then."

"Freckles, are you okay?" Nat asked, the brunette already turning and charging down the hallway and away from her friend.

"I'm fine!" She hollered, not turning around because if she did then Natasha would see the way her bottom lip was quivering.

Steve wasn't in her room when she returned to it. Amelia guessed he'd already taken everything he might need and was getting ready somewhere else, probably wherever he'd ended up sleeping the previous night.

Glumly, she got ready for the next mission. Her suit still wasn't ready so she got into her usual mission attire - a dark grey vest which she tucked inside skinny jeans which had two gun holsters on the side and numerous pockets for knives - leaving her leather jacket as it reminded her too much of the wonderful year she'd had with Steve. Though she didn't want them too, the memories were becoming tainted by all the problems they were facing. All the memories that once brought her joy, now just made her feel a deep sadness. The leather jacket was one of the greatest gifts Steve gave her, back when times were happy though, and now that times were difficult she hated looking at the leather jacket, all it did was remind her that once upon a time things used to be great between her and Steve.

She eventually saw the soldier again when she arrived at the quinjet but he didn't even offer her a glance, and throughout the entire journey he made it his primary mission to be as far away from her as he possibly could. Amelia managed to keep herself busy, she mostly stuck with Thor or Tony. She liked being around Thor because he was a positive person, even though he was furious with Tony, he still managed to find things to smile about. Tony was sort of the same, but he was more avoiding and rather than being uplifting some of his comments were backhanded. A part of her felt bad because she knew that Tony was struggling with what he saw and she knew that he needed help, but she'd gotten so caught up with her own problems she was being blinded to his struggles.

Their destination was a salvage yard on the African Coast and it didn't take much to locate which boat Ultron and his new friends (Pietro and Wanda Maximoff) were on, along with Ulysses Kane.

They managed to sneak on pretty easily, most of the ship seemingly distracted by Ultron's surprise appearance. They had to knock out a few agents which were stood guard, but Clint and Natasha took care of those with ease and then they all split up. Clint and Natasha separated from the group so that they could go to a location where they'd get a better view of everything that was going on, whilst the rest of the Avengers (excluding Bruce who had stayed in the quinjet seen as he wasn't really needed unless there was a Code Green) went straight to face Ultron. Amelia wasn't sure who she was meant to go with, whilst she wanted to assist Steve in avoiding her, she also wanted to make sure she was with her brother and the soldier in case she needed to protect them.

In the end she followed behind Thor, and they reached Ultron just in time to see him slice off Ulysses Kane's hand and throw him down some stairs. He'd had a makeover from the last time she'd seen him, his body was no longer made up of broken pieces of scrap from Tony's laboratory, instead he was a large, shining, armoured robot. "Don't compare me to Stark!" The robot snarled, standing in front of a wall filled with vibranium which she supposed was exactly what Ultron had been looking for, "it's a thing with me. Stark is, he's a sickness!"

"Aw, Junior," Tony cooed as he landed in front of Steve, Thor and Amelia, letting the robot aware of their presence, "you're gonna break your old man's heart."

"If I have to," Ultron replied, turning to face his competition and squaring up his shoulders. Behind him the Maximoff twins sent glares towards her brother as they walked forward, both of them looking ready for a fight. Amelia stood behind Thor daring them to make a move.

"We don't have to break anything," Thor proposed, trying to avoid combat but no one else in the room felt the same way as him. Even Amelia had her hands wrapping around the hilt of her gun, ready to pull it out and shoot at whoever tried to harm her or her friends.

Ultron cocked his head at Thor's offer, the notion seeming bizarre because he was _sure_ he'd made his plan very clear to everyone before he left the Avengers' tower. He was going to destroy them, not sit down and have a chit-chat about the state of the world. "Clearly you've never made an omelette," was his quick response, refusing Thor's offer quickly.

"He beat me by one second," Tony commented.

Pietro stepped forward, his lips raised at the side in a knife-pointed smirk, his eyes only showing rage though, "ah, this is funny, Mr Stark." His eyes roamed around the place they were in as he spoke, falling down to the weapons which laid on the floor of the ship below them, "it's what, comfortable? Like old times?"

"This was never my life." Tony's joking tone had gone once faced with Pietro's accusing words. Obadiah Stane had been the one selling his weapons to the wrong people and destroying lives with them, and Tony was still paying for that. He didn't need anyone else reminding him of the destruction his weapons had once done.

Steve began to walk forward, not wanting the conversation to stray onto other topics and also not wanting to see two _children_ get hurt in a battle they weren't required to be in, "you two can still walk away from this," he said to them.

"Oh, we will," Wanda replied with a mocking tone, catching the fire in Amelia's eyes and the way she tightened her hand around her gun, smiling at the brunette's reaction.

"I know you've suffered," he continued with his attempts, remembering all that Maria Hill had told him about them and everything else he'd read in their folders. From the soldier's point of view, they were just two kids that had gone through something traumatic and had ended up on the wrong side by mistake, he wanted to give them a chance just like he had Amelia. Meanwhile, the brunette was actually feeling quite bitter as she watched him offer the chance to the twins, it made her feel a lot less special.

Ultron interrupted with a disgruntled noise, throwing his head back in disgust, "Captain America," he heaved whilst shaking his head, "God's righteous man, pretending you could live without a war. I can't physically throw up in my mouth, but…"

"If you believe in peace, then let us keep it," Thor chimed in once more, stopping the robot from insulting his friend anymore.

"I think you're confusing peace with quiet," Ultron replied, stepping forward. He'd seen it. He'd seen it all. One look through the internet and it was very clear that the world was not at peace, it was a complete travesty and if something wasn't done then it would end, Ultron couldn't let that happen because it was his purpose to keep everyone safe. He wanted it to be his purpose. The robot had woken up cold and alone, with a purpose in his mind and a world that seemed far too big for him.

"What's the vibranium for?" Tony asked.

"I'm glad you asked that, because I wanted to take this time to explain my evil plan!" Just as he finished his sentence robots dropped by in front of Thor and Steve, distracting them as Ultron pulled Tony forth and then shoved him back with a laser.

Ultron's henchmen weren't as difficult as before because they'd been much more prepared and suited up, whilst Tony charged forth and started taking on the big guy, Thor and Steve attacked the robots with hits.

Amelia stood behind, watching them waste time on the robots and eventually she grew tired of watching their efforts being wasted, with a roll of her eyes she brought up her hands and forced them together, the robots being surrounded by white and then crushed into balls. She thought that it would be over from there and that the group would be able to concentrate their efforts on stopping Ultron but all of a sudden she was being thrown up into the air and knocked back against the wall of the ship, pipes prodding painfully into her back.

She looked up to see what had forced her but there was no one in front of her, instead her eyes fell onto one of the Maximoff twins whose hands were moving similar to the ways Amelia's would when she used her powers. Wanda threw Steve back whilst Pietro sped forward, pushing on Thor's back. The brunette cocked her head, a smile reaching her lips, "you have my powers," she noted as she stood back up, sending a shot of white energy towards Wanda who flew backwards, dealing with the same punishment Amelia had moments before. "Interesting."

"Don't kill her," Steve commented, standing back up.

Amelia turned to him, shock and hurt apparent on her face as she raised an eyebrow at him, "are you kidding me? You don't need to tell me that anymore." She hadn't expected the anger that followed her voice because for the most part all she felt was betrayed. Still, she had no idea what was going through Steve's mind and it was just becoming more and more infuriating.

"I don't know who you are anymore," Steve replied, tone equally as frustrated as hers.

She reacted by widening her eyes and stepping back. This was a side to Steve she'd never seen before, it was a hurtful, uncaring side that she thought couldn't possibly exist in such a kind man. "Wow," she scoffed.

She would have said more but humans with guns started charging forward, shooting towards the trio. Amelia acted fast and created a forcefield to deflect them, giving Steve and Thor enough times to catch their bearings and get back to the mission. Amelia turned her head back to face the Maximoff twin who shared her powers but she was gone, when she looked back over to Steve he'd run off too, leaving her alone in the battle which just made her feel more betrayed.

Of course she could hold her own, Steve wouldn't have left her otherwise, but she'd gotten used to them fighting as a team in situations like the one they were in.

Amelia sighed, eyebrows scrunching firmly together and eyes turning to slits as she tried to focus more on her rage than her sadness, the rage would at least help her to fight. She took a few steps back and charged forward, jumping over the railing so she could fly up high. She'd decided she wanted to focus her attention on getting Wanda Maximoff because she could find a lot of reasons to hate her, mostly jealous reasons, but they still worked in fueling her anger. Steve had offered her a chance as well, and Wanda had the same kind of powers as herself, her soldier could easily replace her with the Maximoff twin.

Any agents that got in her way suffered a price, any that tried to shoot at her had the bullet returned to one of their limbs, any that tried to attack her got a lesson on how skilled she truly was with a knife.

It was like a dance, the way she moved her way through all the agents. Sometimes she'd fall to her knees and spin, slashing at their legs with her knives so that they'd fall down to the ground. Sometimes she'd throw out her hands, whether it be to send agents hurtling into a wall or to throw a fist in their face. She wasn't flexible like the Black Widow, she couldn't climb her enemies and strangle them with her thighs (though Natasha was teaching her) but she had her own moves and they were _all_ effective.

She landed in a hallway on the floor below, there were no men trying to attack her so she gave herself a moment to rest, eyes roaming around the area trying to spot her main target, Wanda Maximoff. There wasn't a sign of anyone at first. She saw red dance in front of her eyes, flowing and twisting the same way her white energy did, like smoke. Amelia turned her head, eyes falling onto Wanda who was stood right next to her, "you," she stepped forward, ready to attack the Maximoff that had begun to retreat but a ringing sound in her ear had her pausing, wincing.

Her hand rose as she tried to use her powers to pull the Maximoff back but white didn't pass from her fingers. The ringing became louder, it revealed itself not as ringing, but _screams_. Hundreds, maybe thousands, of voices screaming in her head. Men, women, children, screaming, crying, begging. They were the same sounds Amelia would hear inside the pit, but she was safe. She repeated the words over and over again, she was safe, _she was safe_ , _**she was safe**_ **.**

And she actually believed it, for a short while, because in front of her she could see the walls of the ship, the boxes and crates on the ship. She was on the ship, definitely not in the pit. Though she couldn't hear the yells and shots being fired, and though the world was starting to spin, and though all she could hear in her head were the familiar screams, if she just remembered that she was on the ship than she'd be fine.

There were no eyes, that was one of the worst things about the pit. First the screams, then the eyes. But there was no darkness, so there'd be no eyes, so she was _okay_.

Her legs gave way beneath her, a fog clouding her mind but she kept refusing it, she didn't even blink. She didn't know what kind of mind trick the Maximoff twin was trying to put her through but she _refused_ it and she had the power to do that because she was molten eyes and a smile meant for war and she would not be destroyed by something as silly as an insignificant _little gir_ l.

"You think you're better than this?" Pierce spat into her ear, his hand coming up to grab her hair and he tugged harshly on it, "look down AS09, _look down_."

His voice had mixed in with the screams, almost discernible, but she still followed his direction and looked down at her arms. There was nothing unusual. Her hands were splayed out against the dirty iron floor of the ship, keeping her from completely collapsing. Her skin was still olive, still freckled, still scarred.

After another second she saw the change beginning to happen, an uncomfortable feeling gurgling in the pit of her stomach like a witch's cauldron about to overflow. The lines of her scars began to change, began to wobble, and then they parted. What was once pink lines on her skin had opened up to reveal eyes. "You never escaped the naughty pit." Green eyes. Blue eyes. Brown eyes. Grey eyes. They were all underneath her skin.

"No!" She screamed, her voice turning shrill as she began to claw at her arms, trying to get the eyes of all the people she'd killed out of her skin. In the end, she closed her eyes. Accepted the darkness. Let it take her away because the darkness was far better than facing those terrible, judging, eyes. That was Amelia's first mistake.

When she reluctantly opened her eyes again, she was no longer on the ship. She wasn't in the pit either. She was in Cherenchikov's home, recognisable by the beer cans that littered the floor. Amelia was on her knees. The eyes had gone from underneath her skin but she still _felt_ them. Light filtered into the living room that she was in from a streetlight outside, casting an orange glow into the room. A knife was in her hand, it was warm, she'd been holding it for a while.

She looked down in front of her, expecting to see the Russian hydra agent she'd tortured in the past. The sight before her had her breath hitching, she raised her hand in front of her mouth, the one that was holding the knife but it was covered in blood, so was the knife. Steve's blood.

He was laid out on the plastic with his limbs tied with duct tape, and his entire body had been cut open. _She'd_ cut him open. Like he was jelly. Memories flashed before her eyes of Steve begging for mercy whilst she refused and sliced open his body. There were strings attached to her hands, carrying her actions and she could do nothing to defy them, she couldn't stop cutting open Steve.

Tears fell from her eyes and she began to wail, "I- I. Steve." She couldn't function anymore, not with the sight before her eyes, not with the knowledge and evidence that she'd been the cause. "No!" Amelia wanted to do more than just dig her nails into her palm, she wanted to stab herself in the heart.

Steve's head fell down to the side, blue eyes staring at her. He was in pain. She wanted to touch him, to hold his hand, soothe his pain. But she couldn't touch him because her hands were covered in blood. "I-" Steve tried to speak but his voice was hoarse, he'd been screaming. Amelia attempted to hush him. He'd started to shake, his entire body shivering as more blood drained from his body. "I will never forgive you." Steve had to speak through his teeth, had to try and get through the pain so that he could tell her the most important words he'd ever had to say.

And then he closed his eyes, and he stopped shaking. Amelia knew. She knew he'd died. She'd killed him. His blood was on her hands.

A scream tore its way through her body. Leaving her ears loud and ringing. The strings finally freed her, finally gave her back the control of her hands but it was too late, there was nothing she could do. Steve Rogers was dead. Amelia threw the knife across the room, dropping her bloodied hands onto his body because _he was dead_ and the pain from that was indescribable. It felt like hands gripping her every organ and tearing them apart without mercy, but she didn't get to die from that pain, she had to endure it all and that was far worse than death. That was her punishment and it still wasn't enough. It would never, ever, be enough.

She screamed, she slammed her fists to the floor, she cursed the sky above. And when all of that was done, he was still dead. So the last thing she could ever do was press her head against his chest and apologise, ten times, a hundred times, a thousand times. "I'm sorry," she wept onto his chest, tears melding with blood.

It had felt so real, she had no idea it was all just a hallucination cast by the girl Maximoff.

Not until she was back in the real world and even then she didn't trust it.

At first, she didn't really understand where she was. The sensation of dried blood was still on her hands but when she opened her eyes and felt the fresh sting of tears mixed with mascara she had left over from the party, her hands were clean and she was pressed against something blue and something warm. She pressed her hand gently against the fabric and felt the heartbeat beneath it.

Steve was holding her close to his chest. First, she needed to convince herself that she was in his arms and that he was alive, then she had to wrap her mind around the fact that even though he struggled to even look at her in the morning, she was now in his arms. She was home.

He tightened his hold around her and pressed a long kiss against her head and she bunched up the fabric of his suit in her hands, holding onto him as tightly as she could. "You're alive," her voice still came out hoarse. She hadn't just been screaming in the hallucination.

"I'm alive," he responded, voice quiet, lips brushing against her head. She liked the movement, she liked feeling him moving, not dead.

A sob wracked her body as she nuzzled against his chest. He was cradling her like a baby but she didn't mind, she was grateful for the contact. "Did she get to you too?"

"Yeah," Steve relinquished the information, closing his eyes.

"What did you see?"

Steve didn't answer that question, he couldn't bring himself to. But he could at least tighten his arms around her, as though if he let go even an inch, she'd slip away from his hold. As though holding each other was the only antidote they had for the horrors they'd seen.

* * *

 **A/N: There are so many metaphors in her goddamn vision, it's an english lit student's dream, so much to analyse!**

 **To Sam0728, I'd tell you but then spoilers so all I'll say is Chapter 37**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, I totally didn't expect the ending to get the reaction it did, I don't know why, but thank you!**

 **To HannahBanana, didn't think the ending was that bad but that comment tho, omg I'm so sorry, at least you won't have to wait a year tho**

 **To BrittStar1199, this is my favourite reaction cause it's so me**

 **To AlexShah, exactly! AOU has been kind of draining because it isn't the best movie and I haven't been able to include everything I want, reckon I'm definitely going to do my plot, just need to figure out what to do. It won't be long, maybe like ten chapters or something.**

 **To thenightowl57, thank you and sorry!**

 **To kuppcake, I'm sorry!**

 **And another thank you to everyone that read the chapter, I'm hella grateful for all your support!**


	35. Chapter Thirty-Three

**CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE**

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" _Crying does not indicate that you are weak. Since birth, it has always been a sign that you are alive." ―_ _**Charlotte Bronte**_

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He'd heard her scream. He had been retrieving his shield after throwing it at his enemies when he heard Freckles scream. Steve felt dread drop in his stomach like a ten-tonne weight because Freckles wasn't the type of girl to scream unless something horrible had happened. He didn't think twice before charging forward, trying to find wherever she was on the ship because despite him wanting to not be near her, he needed to make sure that she was okay. If she wasn't, if she was hurt, then he'd blame himself.

It was funny really, that morning he'd been so sure that he needed to create space between them, and yet all it took was for her to scream and his resolution crumbled like a wall. He'd supposed that the wall had always been made of sand, though. Steve didn't really want space from her, he just didn't know what else he could do. It had all just become too much.

The soldier had been so busy concentrating on reaching Amelia he didn't know when Wanda Maximoff had approached him from behind and cast her spell onto his mind.

The walls of the ship transformed into a ballroom before his very eyes, the switch happening quick, one blink and he was teleported. Steve recognised the room immediately because he'd often visit it with Bucky back when World War II was happening, only back then he'd always sit in the corner and watch his friend dance happily with dame after dame, always waiting for his own chance to go on the dancefloor. His chance never came though.

Steve struggled to remember it all. Hydra, the ship with the bombs that he had to crash land into the Arctic Ocean in order to save New York, the reason he ended up in the twenty-first century. The reason why he got to meet Amelia and become a part of her life. But all the memories seemed to evade him the more he turned around and faced everything surrounding him.

All the people around him looked so _happy_. Fellow soldiers sat with their ladies, smiling and laughing boisterously whilst others stood on the ballroom floor dancing. Camera's kept flashing in his eyes, making him wince as he continued to wander through the room until he came to stand in the middle of it, the only spot where he wasn't being uncomfortably pressed against some very merry strangers.

A hand touched his arm, gaining his attention. "Are you ready for our dance?" Peggy Carter asked as he turned to face her, he felt confusion but he didn't know why, his mind felt so fuzzy. He looked back at all the people, they were celebrating clearly but it didn't feel right to him. "The war's over, Steve," Peggy continued to push, red lips pulling upwards into a charming smile. She was dressed in blue, the same blue Amelia's dress had been, with a pink flower attached to her neckline, and she looked beautiful. "We can go home."

Home? Steve didn't have a home, not a physical one anyway. But he did have Freckles, and if home was where the heart was, then Freckles was his home. _Amelia_. He'd forgotten about her. How could he ever forget about her?

"Where is she?" He asked, remembering her scream that he'd heard. That's where he'd been going, so how did he end up in the ballroom? Something wasn't right. "Where's Amelia?"

Peggy's hand raised up to his cheek, her other hand moving to rest against his shoulder, she was moving into a dancing position. She made a hushing sound, her voice a siren's call to Steve, making him remember a time that he once belonged to. That's how he used to feel, like he was trapped outside of his own time. But he was back, and for a moment, he wanted to stay there. He wanted to dance with Peggy and be as merry as everyone else. But he couldn't forget about Amelia, and even though he was back in his own time, it didn't feel right at all.

He felt guilty, but he still grabbed a hold of Peggy's hands and pushed them off of him, "where's Amelia?" He asked again, firmer. The last thing he saw was a look of resentment and heartbreak from Peggy, the same look she'd given him when she caught him trapped between a shelf and some pretty blonde in a bunker. He'd promised himself to never give her a reason to look at him like that ever again, but Amelia wasn't just some pretty blonde, she was _his_ girl.

He was back on the ship, laid on the floor and aching with Clint speaking in his ear. "The whole team is down, you got no back up here," he said to Tony who was flying off to face the Hulk that had also been affected by Wanda Maximoff.

"Amelia," Steve huffed as he got back up to his feet, "has anyone got eyes on Amelia?"

"Yeah, I'm with her now. She still seems to be going through whatever the enhanced did to her," just as Clint finished speaking another scream ripped through the air, hitting Steve right in the heart. It didn't sound like a fearful scream, no, it sounded pained.

"I'm on my way," he replied, wasting no more time as he jogged over to where he'd heard the scream coming from. It didn't take him all that long seen as he'd been halfway there when the Maximoff twin got to him. He found Amelia sat on the floor, her knees pressed against her chest and her arms tightly wrapped around them, which made Steve feel even more panicked because normally when she was scared of something she would automatically spread out her limbs so she could remind herself that she wasn't in the pit. White energy covered her body though it wasn't as bright as it usually was, it didn't glow and twinkle like the stars in the sky, it was dimmer.

"I tried to get close to her but she lashed out, almost gave me another wound to the stomach," Clint explained, gesturing to the curled up brunette with one of his hands whilst the other was wrapped around Natasha who was silent and shaking. Perhaps she could have been some use but she was just as haunted as Amelia was, the difference was that Natasha couldn't harness very dangerous powers.

Steve nodded his head in acknowledgement to what his companion had said, eyes still concentrating on Amelia who'd begun to whimper incoherent sentences. "Take Natasha back to the quinjet, I've got Freckles."

Thor caught up with them, all smiles gone from his lip as he tried to understand the vision he'd had. The only thing that managed to break through his fog was Amelia's scream. "Little Stark," he called, concerned. The god tried to take a step towards her but Steve held out his hand before he could approach her.

The soldier couldn't possibly imagine what was going through her head. After all the horrors she'd faced he wondered what would be going through her mind, unsure whether it would be the pit or some of the other tortures her father had put through. Clearly it was something to do with her worst fears, she wouldn't have been acting the way she was if it were anything else.

"Are you sure?" Clint asked, looking between Steve and Amelia, "you got some way of getting past the forcefield?"

Steve shook his head, "no," he answered, beginning to walk towards her. "She just won't hurt me," he offered as an explanation.

Clint scoffed at Steve's reasoning. Amelia was completely out of it and completely unaware of what she was doing with her powers, whilst the archer didn't think this showed the girl as a threat because in any other situation she seemed perfectly in control of her powers, she was still capable of hurting both him and Steve at that moment. He'd only just managed to avoid the energy Amelia shot out towards him. He stayed where he was stood, watching and waiting for Amelia to lash out at Steve as he got closer and closer to her.

But Steve was absolutely positive that his girl could set the entire world on fire, and she'd never let a flame touch him.

The archer's mouth dropped open slightly as Steve crouched down and lifted up Amelia, the white energy wrapping around him as he picked her up bridal style, Amelia letting him into her forcefield rather than pushing him out.

And there she remained, in his arms. He carried Amelia whilst Clint carried Natasha back into their quinjet, Thor following behind and they waited there until Tony returned with an unconscious Bruce.

He laid Bruce down on the ground and covered him with a sheet before moving over to his sister that was still wrapped up in Steve's arms. The forcefield had gone away, she'd calmed down, even woken up from the Maximoff's spell, but she'd fallen asleep again and Steve was close to doing the same but his mind had been too busy thinking over everything. What he'd seen, the way he'd felt, as well as everything that had occurred the previous night with Amelia and what had happened three years ago, and how it all affected his relationship with the brunette.

Tony got out of his suit so that he would be able to press his hand against his little sister's head, gently brushing it through her dark brown hair, "she okay?" He asked Steve, voice low and whispered.

Steve had only half been expecting some sort of backhanded joke from Tony, they'd both been through a lot that day but he still wouldn't have been shocked at any quip Tony made. He was grateful the billionaire didn't. "She will be," he replied. Their eyes connected and an unspoken conversation passed between them, a promise that they'd talk later about the way Steve was behaving around his sister.

Tony left to then go speak to Maria Hill, explaining to her everything that had happened, eventually coming to the conclusion that it would be for the teams best interest to go into stealth mode, which basically meant running and hiding. Bruce had destroyed a city, and the team weren't in a healthy mindset, it really was the only option for them. Clint took control from there, taking them to a safe house.

Only, it turned out to be much more than a safe house.

Steve was the one to wake up Amelia, the sun leaking through the open door of the quinjet which everyone else had already walked out of. "Hey," he said, coaxing her from the sleepy daze she was in. Amelia didn't feel like she'd actually managed to sleep, her body ached still and she felt sick to her stomach, images still playing over in her mind of what she did to Steve. She looked down at her arms, checking to see if the eyes were there. He gently pushed at her again, politely asking for her to get off of him.

She did, slowly, groaning as her bones clicked with every movement. Once she was stood up she turned back to face Steve, plenty of words playing on the tip of her tongue, "Steve-" before she could say anymore he was up on his feet and walking out of the ship, as though they hadn't just spent the past few hours finding comfort in each other's arms.

Her breath hitched as she felt tears burning behind her eyes which she tried to blink away. All Amelia wanted to do was hold him, and remind herself a million times that he was alive and that she hadn't hurt him. But he didn't want to be near her, which made her feel even more horrible because it confirmed to her that she was the girl she'd seen herself as in the horrors Maximoff had forced on her. She was AS09.

Eventually she caught up with the rest of the team, following them into a large white house. They seemed to be on some sort of farm in the middle of nowhere which made sense to Amelia, that made the house a very safe one. Everyone had already entered the safe house without her and when she finally got inside, she found herself facing a weird scenario.

Clint was stood with a woman wrapped up in his arms and the rest of the Avenger's were facing them with shocked and confused expressions, all of them except Natasha, who had a child in her arms.

Amelia became pale as she looked at the small child. Bloody hands and bloody knives, that was all she could think about and therefore she couldn't be near children, she was too dangerous, too much of a weapon.

She turned around and walked back out of the door, ignoring the way her brother called her name. She walked as far away as she could whilst still being in the same vicinity, sitting herself down in the field, surrounded by green and the warmth of the sun, but everything still seemed far too dull for her liking. The same way it used to be when she was AS09, before she had Steve.

A part of her hoped Steve would come see her and comfort her, maybe bring her a cup of hot chocolate. But he didn't. So she cried. Amelia wasn't the type to cry but there was nothing else for her to do, no way of getting through her pain, nowhere for her to run, there was only experiencing it. And seen as she was left with no other option, she cried.

Amelia put all the pain she felt from her heart being torn apart into every sob that wracked her body. She allowed herself to lose her mind, again. She could feel it unravelling, the threads of every happy memory she could ever once recall, all but a disarray of strings scattered about her feet. Her nails dug into the earth that she hit, her hands unsteady as they silently clawed at the dirt as though underneath it was the antidote to the pain she felt. Amelia opened her mouth, but no sound came out, her head violently quivered as if there was a drill at the back of her skull. Her eyes saw nothing, they had lost all sight of what was and what could have been. Her mouth was open, an eternal silenced scream.

She begged the universe to let her forget what she saw, to let her go back in time to when she and Steve were better, happier. She begged the universe to wipe Steve's mind as well. And for a split second, she wished she'd never left Hydra, never met Steve, never learnt of love and learnt she was capable of it.

Maybe that was why everything was going so wrong. Amelia couldn't help but think that maybe all she was meant for was bloodied hands and bloodied knives, not gentle caresses and sweet emotions.

After getting changed, Tony stood on the doorstep of Clint's home, arms crossed as he watched his sister's body wrack with sniffles. He could feel her pain, but he still felt helpless. They weren't close. He knew about her past, but they hadn't reached the point in their relationship where he could easily just hug her and take on her pain so it weighed a little less on her shoulders. But he knew someone that was that person for her, and Tony was confused when he found Steve stood far away from her, chopping wood, acting ignorant of her behaviour. The great thing about Steve was that Tony was close enough to him to scorn him for his behaviour.

He inhaled a deep breath, readying himself for the conversation ahead of him as he walked around the house, stopping a few centimetres away from Steve. Far enough away so if the soldier decided to swing his axe, Tony wouldn't get hit. He slapped his hands together, rubbing them and preparing himself to pick up one of the other axe's, his eyes anywhere but on Steve as he spoke, "you and my sister looked awfully comfy earlier."

"I'm not in the mood, Tony," came Steve's swift response as he threw down the axe onto a piece of wood, most of his anger being put into the swing, though Tony had no idea what exactly he was angry at. And Steve would never tell him, because if he did, he'd also have to tell Tony about his parents that were dead because of _his_ best friend, and then he'd have to also explain to Amelia why his best friend took her from that car and forced her into a life full of killing and torture. So Steve's only option was to chop wood, as though he was bringing the axe down on Hydra itself.

"I'm not either," Tony replied, "I'm not asking you to explain anything right now, you spent a year together, something happened. I get it. She trusts you. But I'm starting to think you don't trust her, or else you'd be over there with her right now."

Steve shook his head from side to side as he threw down his axe on another piece of wood, a small smile appearing on his face at Tony's lame guess on why he was trying to create space between himself and Amelia. "Like I said, I'm not in the mood."

"Fine," he relinquished with far too much ease, "I'll drop it." Tony worked on tearing through a piece of log, trying to portray that it was as easy for him as it was for Steve. In response to Tony's words, the soldier raised an eyebrow, waiting, knowing that the billionaire wouldn't back down so easily. And a few short seconds later, he wasn't disappointed. "Just, one thing," Tony placed his axe back down again, waving his hand around as he spoke, "she is my sister, and I've got a lot of catching up to do on my brotherly duties. If that has to start with me kicking your ass for hurting her, then so be it."

Steve stopped chopping up the wood, putting the axe down in a way that allowed him to lean against it as he turned to face Tony. He was impressed, and happy, that Tony was falling into the role of Amelia's brother. Despite the billionaire's words being a threat, Steve accepted them with a curt nod of his head, "I don't want to see her hurt either."

Tony respectfully nodded back, both of them returning to chopping wood. "Thor didn't say where he was going for answers?" Tony asked, concentrating on getting his pile of wood up as he was seriously lagging behind Steve.

"Sometimes my teammates don't tell me things," Steve responded, a little bitterly, eyes going over to Clint who was with his son and then shortly visiting Amelia's curled up figure. He quickly looked away from her, it was too difficult for him seeing her so broken. "I was kind of hoping Thor would be the exception."

Tony grabbed another piece of wood and placed it on top of his podium, ready to be hacked in half, "yeah, give him time. We don't know what the Maximoff kid showed him."

Thor had left seconds after they'd watched Amelia run from the house, at first they thought he was going to go over and talk to Amelia but it seemed he had something far more important to do. It had been a blow for Steve, seeing one of the members he was closest to leave them with such ease, leaving him to deal with the mess of what Wanda had done. He was supposed to be the leader, yet he had no idea on where to begin with fixing everyone. "'Earth's Mightiest Heroes'," he scoffed, "pulled us apart like cotton candy."

"Seems like you walked away all right," Tony said.

"Is that a problem?" Steve asked back, pausing for a moment. He wondered for a moment if Tony expected him to be acting like his sister, but that just wasn't his style. It had never been. He always held things in, constantly fighting to keep it together. So it was a little offensive that the billionaire was accusing him of just being okay when inside it felt his insides were melting.

"I don't trust a guy without a dark side," Tony replied casually, taking in a deep inhale as he used all his strength to push the axe through another piece of wood, pleased when the block of wood fell apart into two pieces, "call me old-fashioned."

"Well let's just say you haven't seen it yet," Steve returned, seeing only challenge in Tony's words.

Tony gave up on trying to get his pile as big as Steve's, he was facing a super soldier after all, maybe if he had his suit on he'd stand a chance. "You know Ultron is trying to tear us apart, right?"

"Well I guess you'd know, whether you'd tell us is a bit of a question," Steve said the statement casually, making his resentment perfectly clear to Tony who quickly became defensive.

"Banner and I were doing research," he tried to justify, knowing that the topic of his part in creating Ultron was the real issue between him and Steve.

Steve shook his head, seeing Tony's words as more of an excuse, "that would affect the team."

"That would end the team," Tony swiftly responded, remembering the vision he'd had and feeling completely justified in what he'd done, "isn't that the mission? Isn't that the 'why' we fight, so we can end the fight, so we get to go home?"

Steve had heard enough, his rage building to a height he didn't like, he tried to extinguish some of it through ripping apart a piece of wood with his bare hands. He didn't like getting angry or feeling hate, it didn't help anyone get anywhere and most of the time it just made things worse but he'd been through _a lot_ and he was seconds away from punching his friend. The better option was tearing apart the wood, even if it did earn him a deriding look from Tony.

"Every time someone tries to win a war before it starts, innocent people die. Every time." He tried to make use of the words he had, tried to make the billionaire understand his point of view because Steve thought he was doing a pretty good job at understanding his. Of course Steve had no idea about the vision which haunted Tony's every waking moment. It was a Stark thing to withhold important information, apparently.

Before they could continue their argument anymore Laura Barton, Clint's wife (which was a notion both Tony and Steve were still struggling to wrap their minds around), approached them, "I'm sorry, Mr Stark?" She asked politely, "Clint said you wouldn't mind, but, our tractor, it doesn't seem to want to start at all. I thought maybe you might-"

"Yeah, I'll give her a kick," Tony interrupted, catching on to what she wanted from him and honestly he was quite grateful to have an excuse to leave the conversation with Steve, though he wasn't so happy to be leaving bad air between them. He began to walk down to the shed, eyes spotting his sister once again, making him stop and pause. He turned to Steve, opening his mouth and for a moment he just remained silent, unsure if he should push the soldier anymore but then he reminded himself that it was his duty as Amelia's older brother to take care of her. "Go talk to Mia," he requested, "I can't stand to see her cry and I'm guessing you can't either."

Steve's eyes strayed over to Amelia, she seemed to have calmed down, simply sat cross-legged picking at the grass around her. He didn't immediately go over to her, he had to convince himself to actually do it first. Which meant chopping a lot of wood and trying to get all his anger out.

The billionaire was right, Steve hated to see her cry, which was why the space was so necessary, it kept him from seeing her in pain.

"Hey," the words felt lame falling from his mouth as he approached her.

The girl in question immediately jumped up at his greeting, her hands quickly moving to wipe away any tear trails left on her face but the remnants of her break down were still there in the form of bloodshot eyes and a wobbling bottom lip, "hey," she greeted back, forcing a smile that didn't reach her black eyes. Steve hated that her eyes looked as dark as the day he met her, no light of life twinkling in them anymore.

"You okay?" He asked, the words continuing to feel uncomfortable. He pushed his hands into his pockets, suddenly unsure of what he normally did with them when conversing with people.

Her smile became tight, "I want to say I'm fine, like we always did but I don't think I can anymore." _It had become too much_. All the things they'd pushed aside, all the conversations they'd forced to a halt, all the stuff they'd tried to hide, it was blaring in their faces like the sun up close, burning their flesh and making itself very much known. There was no more hiding for them. "What are we doing here Steve?" She asked, gesturing with her hand to him and herself, "I know life isn't a movie, I'm not expecting some goddamn grand gesture or you announcing your undying love for me, but I'm just so sick of waiting. What are we waiting for? Why are you holding back?"

Steve's hands dropped from his pockets, an admonished expression filling his face, "that's what you're upset about?" He shouldn't have been like that towards her because he was exactly the same, letting his fears about them get in the way of all sane thoughts but the soldier liked to pretend that he was mostly concerned about the mission and the fact that Ultron wanted to make the Avenger's 'extinct'.

She was upset by Ultron though, and she also frustrated over Pierce still haunting her, and how she didn't know what happened in 2012 and she was angry that Steve didn't know about all the things making her brain hurt because she never told him, because _she_ was scared that he'd find out she hadn't changed, that she was still AS09.

"It's one of the things," Amelia responded, "the longest thing. We've been with each other for over a year now, I think it's time we settled it." She hadn't expected an argument, hadn't even thought of one occurring but the second he asked her if she was okay, she got frustrated at the weight on her shoulders. She needed to get rid of it and this was the only way she could see herself doing that.

Steve licked at his dry lips, "you need to love yourself first to love other people." That was the excuse he made up years ago, and it had held up well, making them both keep a distance for a while but all the kisses in the shadows showed that it wasn't effective anymore, for either of them.

"Bullshit," she argued, causing Steve's mouth to drop open because of the wrath in her voice, "I've never loved myself. But you, I love you so much I get to forget what hating myself feels like. So don't you dare say that to me ever again, because I don't believe in it at all."

A moment of silence passed between them as her confession floated in the air. It wasn't entirely surprising, but it was still the first time either of them had confessed loving each other. Both of them wished it could have been said in better circumstances though.

"Say my name." Amelia requested, voice calmer.

"Excuse me?"

"Just once, say my name. My true name. Admit it to yourself. What I am, what I'm capable of… just once." Beneath Amelia's fervour, there was something oddly desperate, this wasn't the babblings of someone who'd lost their mind but premeditated words that had been festering on her tongue for quite a while.

"You're better than what you are," Steve attempted to argue, "you can be whatever you want to be."

She smiled; not a happy smile, an 'I expected you to say that, but I'd hoped you wouldn't' smile. "You can't admit it, can you?" The brunette crossed her arms over her chest, finally revealing to him her own inner thoughts, the one thing she'd been trying to keep from him. That she was AS09, as much as she hated it, she wasn't Amelia. Amelia was just a dream, whereas Experiment AS09 had always been a reality for her.

The soldier's nostrils flared, blue eyes darkening like a storm rolling over a blue sky, "what do you want me to admit, Amelia?" He could see what she was telling him, that she felt like he was ignoring AS09 and pushing her to be Amelia, but she was completely ignoring his point of view by saying that, and after a year he thought she'd know better. "That I love you, too? Because I do." He cocked his head to the side, trying to get her to look at him but she just stared, dejected, at the ground, "or do you want me to admit that I'm scared?" Her eyes flew up to his and he straightened up. That was it. She wanted him to confirm all the dark thoughts of herself, just like her father had done to her, but it wasn't exactly _her_ that he was scared of. "Fine. I'm terrified. I've lost everything I ever had. I had Bucky back but I lost him too and I'm terrified that you're going to be next. That's what I saw, when Wanda got to me, I was back in my own time and I got to see Peggy again and dance with her but you weren't there, and I feel guilty because I got everything back but the world just felt so dark and so empty because _you_ weren't there. We shouldn't be so reliant on each other like this, not when it's so easy to lose each other. What I'm waiting for is you, I need to know I'm not going to lose you. I can't lose anything else. I just can't."

Steve stared at her, willing her to reply and tell him that his fears were stupid and that she wouldn't leave him. But she couldn't. He knew she couldn't, he knew when she relapsed and killed Cherenchikov. A part of her still belonged to Hydra, it was the same part of her that had her holding back information from him.

His shoulders fell as the weight of her silence truly hit him, as though he needed to be carrying more stress. There were no more words that could be shared between them, she could have brought up that he was keeping something from her lost year from her, but there was no point, not when both of them were so fixed on keeping things hidden. And so he turned and walked away from her. Amelia looked up, but she didn't see Steve's retreating figure, she just saw Alexander Pierce and his icy gaze locked on to her.

Steve had helped her realise what the real issue was, but he didn't have the power the banish that side of her. She, however, did.

* * *

 **A/N: Haven't written a chapter in two days, feeling hella shitty in the head so... yeah. But y'know, this was a good chapter. We got Steve's vision, Tony being a good brother, Amelia being Amelia. I don't want my character to be a cry baby, but it shows good growth that she can cry in front of people she's close to now. In the next chapter I really get into my experience with abuse and the aftermath of it, or at least, what happens when you suddenly find yourself no longer abused and you need to figure out who you are, when all you've ever been is your abuse and trauma, if that makes sense.**

 **Oh, and I've started planning part three (only in my head so far) and we might get to see a return of Villian Amelia.**

 **To JohnnyStormsGirl, I can't tell if you're talking about the 2012 chapter or this chapter with what Wanda makes him see... in which case you got what Wanda made him see, and you also get his pov in the 2012 chapter. When it comes to her past I'm sticking with other peoples accounts of what happened. If Avengers 4 plays the way I think/hope it will, you won't be getting her own pov on 2012 until then, if it doesn't go the way I think/hope it will then you'll never get her own personal pov on it. (Sorry for the hella long answer)**

 **To BrittStar1199, I mean, he communicated, kind of...**

 **To .2018, thank you!**

 **To Hannah Banana, chapter 37!**

 **To thenightowl57, Steve is very torn, he can't stand to see Amelia hurt but he's constantly feeling like he's about to lose her and technically he's already lost her after 2012, I hope my portrayal of his character is alright. I just think he puts everything else in front of his own feelings, he might seem like a touchy feely guy but I've only ever seen him take care of other people rather than himself in movies so I just don't see him as the type to openly shout out about his feelings.**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, ^^^ I was worried about robot Steve (I called him soldier Steve in my head) but as I explained in the message above, this is my interpretation and I hope it's okay! (I get really panicked about keeping to the characters whilst also mixing them into Amelia's world)**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, yeah, she's not a big fan of her after all the mind games lol**

 **To Sam0728, I'm finally getting round to forming Amelia and Wanda's relationship and it's interesting so far**

 **To Guest, hello and thank you! I'm happy to hear your wonderful comments, and yeah, Bucky and Amelia will have a lot of words for each other when they meet again. Whilst Amelia has grown, she's still bitter about a lot of things in her past, right now she's working on forgetting not forgiving.**

 **And thank you to everyone that read the chapter :)**


	36. Chapter Thirty-Four

**CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR**

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" _Simply let go of the illusion that it could have been any different."_

― _**Jeff Foster**_

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Amelia had gotten far too used to city lights being her only stars at night that she'd forgotten how tremendous it felt to stare up at a sky, black as her own eyes, and see twinkling dots. Some people said that it scared them, how vast the sky seemed at night. Steve once told her that he liked to look up at the night sky and remember that everyone was looking at it too, Bucky, her, they were all seeing the same sky. Amelia preferred Steve's point of view and she somewhat agreed to him. There was something about those little lights in the darkness that made her feel less hopeless.

She'd left the rest of the Avengers at Clint's home, deciding to go for a walk on her own. Before she left she made sure to tell Tony so that no one worried where she'd disappeared to, and though they weren't on talking terms, she didn't want Steve to worry about her sudden disappearance.

There was something she needed to do, something that was long overdue.

It took a few minutes of walking but she eventually found herself on a secluded spot, far enough away from Clint's house so that she couldn't see the lights of his home or hear any noise. Her head remained bent, eyes remaining on the stars, as though she was allowing them to lead her. Once she'd made it to the top of a hill, the only one in sight that would allow her to be even closer to the stars, she sat herself down on the ground.

A nice breeze was parading through the air, kissing her warm skin with coolness and causing blades of grass to caress her skin, as though nature itself was trying to bring her comfort.

Amelia was done crying, she had been the moment she finally realised what the problem between her and Steve was. Maybe it was trivial, and silly, that even whilst facing Ultron her biggest concern was their relationship but it had been over a year and they loved each other, they should have been together. But there was something in the way: herself. Steve had a fear of losing someone and she was constantly making him question whether she was Amelia or AS09, and if she became AS09 again he'd definitely lose her.

Whilst it had caused her immeasurable pain that Steve had basically thrown in her face all of her worst fears, she believed that it was all her on her. She was the one making him think those things, therefore, she was the one who had to fix things.

"Pierce," she called out, eyes falling from the stars momentarily so she could search around herself. He appeared on her left, standing over her and looking down at her with one eyebrow raised. It wasn't surprising to see him shocked, she'd never called on him before. "Sit down, Pierce, we need to have a conversation." Another first. After over a year of seeing Pierce, Amelia had never had a conversation with him, she'd always either ignored him or tried tirelessly to push him away, they'd never just _talked_.

"On the ground?" Pierce scoffed, "what do you think I am, some kind of animal?" He gestured to the ground with disgust, as though it was a pool of mud and bugs she was asking him to sit in.

She groaned, putting her head in her hands for a moment so she could hide the way she rolled her in eyes in frustration at his behaviour, as though she should have been expecting anything else from the man fixated on making her life a living misery. "Fine," she eventually huffed, "stay standing. But listen to me, please."

It irked her to say 'please' to the man she found to be the most vilest human she'd ever met, but she tried to push her frustration aside because the conversation she was about to have was her only hope of rekindling with Steve.

She inhaled and exhaled deeply, steeling herself. "The reason you're not dead, the reason why you're still haunting me, is because AS09 isn't dead either. She's always still an option and I've been lying to myself all this time. That's why you're still here." It was a theory she'd been working on for a while but one the brunette had rejected many times because it was much easier playing pretend than it was facing her demons, or it had been.

Pierce placed his hands inside his pockets, blinking at the girl for a moment before looking back up to the stars much like she had been earlier. He didn't share the way Amelia felt about the stars, for him they were a constant reminder of just how small and insignificant he was. "It took you long enough to figure it out."

"I need to let you go," she said, gesticulating with her hands as she spoke, "I need to let it _all_ go, I can't ever get revenge for what you did to me because you're already dead, and I can't keep holding on to the past."

"Why?" Pierce asked as he looked down to her, Amelia returning the gaze, the black ink of her eyes meeting the glacial gaze of his own for a second before she looked away.

In front of her there were only fields, like an ocean of grass with the odd tree poking up, acting as an island amongst the green waters. The grass rippled much like water would, the pushing wind creating mock waves as it guided the blades too and fro.

Amelia laughed at her father's question, not a loud guffaw, but a quiet chuckle. "Why? Because I want a life with Steve. I thought I did have a life with him after our year together but that wasn't living, that was just... playing pretend. There was always a boundary we couldn't pass, my past. But I want to be able to call him stupid things like my 'boyfriend' or 'bae', and I want to be able to openly hold his hand in public and hug him whenever I want. I want to be with him in every possible way I can." She didn't feel embarrassed to say those things in front of her father, she was actually quite proud to be able to tell her father about how she wanted an actual relationship with someone. She'd seen couples, killed plenty of them too, but she'd never thought that such a life could possibly be hers and that was because of the man stood beside her. Amelia wanted to shove her and Steve's relationship in his face as much as possible whilst screaming at him: 'See! I can be loved!'

"And you think that's a possibility?" He questioned, his words twisted with a negativity she was far too familiar with. It seemed Pierce's way, to poison his words, he preferred it to actually getting his hands dirty and perhaps that was what made him more dangerous than AS09. Whilst it took a knife for her to kill someone, all it took Pierce was a couple of words.

"I don't know," she responded, voice softer and more airy as she allowed herself to gaze up at the natural lights above her. For a moment, recognising the darkness behind them. When she was younger and first thrown into the pit, she didn't know what the word was for the black that surrounded her and conjured up all her fears, and she didn't know where it came from. Sometimes AS09 thought it came from her, and that word for the darkness was her own name. Learning that it was just because of a lack of light had eased some of her fear, not enough to make the pit any less daunting though. "I'm hoping if I forgive you, then maybe you'll go."

"But can you forgive me? All that torture I did to you, I made you into a monster."

His argument had a small smile play itself across her lips, her hands moved down to the grass so that she could pick at it nervously, "I knew you'd say that," she mused. Not at all giving away that it was one of her biggest concerns, that she'd never be able to forgive him. Though she may not have been able to grow up as a normal child, she still called him 'father', still recognised that he was her parent and was meant to be the one person who took care of her. But he didn't. Instead he hurt her. It was hard to forgive that sort of betrayal.

"Of course you did, I'm in your head," Pierce sighed, body twisting as he looked between his best creation and the terrifying reality above him, "you could fly away from here, you know? Find a Hydra base, get your old life back. A life that had less feelings in it. You'd cry less."

"No, I cried a lot more. I just never let anyone see it." She quickly rebutted, eyebrows scrunching together as memories surged of herself locked in her shower, sobbing. It was the only place she'd be able to do it, if she turned to the wall then the camera wouldn't see her face, and the water would always camouflage her tears. The crying had been one of the harder things to do because whenever she did it AS09 always felt worse, not only did she feel weak, but she'd constantly be hit with the realisation that nobody around her knew how devastated she felt with her life. Amelia shook her head, trying to go back onto her main point and not get lost in the past, "anyway, I need it to stop being an option, that's my point. When the going gets tough you're always there, telling me the option out of it. Trying to convince me to leave Steve."

It had taken her a while to recognise it - which made the ex-assassin feel a tad stupid - but that was the pattern in her ghosts behaviour. Every time she felt panicked or was being put in a situation she wanted to run from, he'd appear and whisper poison into her ear, forcing her to become AS09 again and that's why she could never let her old life go.

"So what, you forgive me and I just go away?" Pierce held his hands out, a mocking smile on his face as he taunted Amelia. She didn't have enough energy to give him a reaction though, perhaps it was because a part of her still tried to not defy him, but she didn't like that idea at all.

Amelia shook her head from side to side, "no, I don't think you'll ever go away fully, it's not like me forgiving you will get rid of all my memories." She finished tearing apart a piece of grass in her hand, dropping each scrap and allowing it to be carried in the wind like dust. Then she turned to face her father, truly looking at him for once, not with defiance in her eyes but rather, understanding, and a semblance of forgiveness.

"You burned me," she said, summarising all the pain and torture and hurt that he'd caused her into three short words, "but you also made me feel, and I'm glad you did, even if at the beginning all it was, was sadness, rage and pain. I'm glad I wasn't just a robot like the Winter Soldier because then I got to feel things for Steve the moment I met him. What you did was wrong, making me want to _die_ , was wrong. But I'm no longer my abuse, I'm no longer what you did to me and I'm no longer my trauma." She was Amelia Stark instead, a girl who lived as though each day would be her last and never grew tired of discovering new and fascinating things. She was making a life for herself despite everything that had happened to her, and whilst she did have Steve to thank for that, she also needed to take a moment to thank _herself_ for not choosing to end her life the moment she was able to do it. Though it had been an option that weighed down on her mind.

Pierce took his hands from his pockets and crossed them in front of his chest, grey suit wrinkling slightly, "Amelia, I'm proud of you." She couldn't help herself as she raised both her eyebrows, quickly concluding that those words weren't Pierce talking but her own mind. "But you're still wrong."

"What?"

"You shouldn't ever have to forgive me, like you said, what I did to you was wrong. I'm not the one who needs forgiving." His words came out with the same authority he'd use when giving her orders, or when he'd lie to try and justify all the killing she did. They were confusing words, disarming words, that had Amelia standing up on her feet.

"Who needs forgiving then?" She scoffed, arguing against her ghosts conclusion. The brunette had gone to the field that night sure that she needed to forgive Pierce so that she could move on from her life, that's what all the movies had shown, people forgiving their horrible parents for what they'd done to them so that they could acheive a happy ending. It had never occured to her that perhaps not all situations were the same. That she didn't need to forgive her abuser for the malice he'd committed, that despite what pop culture might say, it was up to her to decide whether all that pain could really be forgiven.

He had made her want to die. He had hit her, strangled her, thrown words at her like knives, words that imprinted themselves onto her body and never went away, words uglier than all the scars on her body.

No, Amelia decided, he definitely did not deserve her forgiveness. She deserved an apology and more off of him but she was never going to get that, that was what she needed to come to terms with. And it was okay that he'd never apologise, because though she deserved it, Amelia did not need it. She had gotten through every single day of her life without an apology, she had rose again and again from ashes, she was strong. And her kind of strength was infinite. She'd get through many more days without that apology.

The best way for Amelia to get back at her father was to have a life in spite of him. To be with Steve, and her brother, and Natasha, and experience friendship and having a family and love, all the things he'd told her she'd never truly have.

But then, that left only one question, who needed to be forgiven? Amelia and Pierce stared at one another in silence as the brunette tried to understand what Pierce was trying to explain to her. Then the realisation hit her, surprisingly due to the fact that she'd remembered how much of a monster Pierce had been to her. She'd realised that other monsters were much more easier to face than the monster inside of her. Pierce was the other monster in that scenario.

Once Amelia came to the realisation, Pierce began to nod his head, "You say that AS09 is the one that needs to go away, all of her. The life she led, and who she was. But you've forgotten something very important. Amelia Stark may have been the little girl that got kidnapped, but AS09 is who that girl had to become in order to survive. AS09 is the one that took on all the pain, who did all the killing in order to stop that little girl from being tortured. She's the one who endured it all."

What he said had been right, unsurprisingly. Amelia had forgotten that when she first killed, it had felt like she was putting up a shield, someone else standing in her place and doing all the killing. She'd been creating all these issues with Pierce's ghost so that she could ignore the real issue, AS09, the monster she'd had to become in order to survive. It wasn't that they were two seperate people, it was more that Amelia had tried so hard to forget she was once AS09 that she'd never once stopped and tried to forgive herself for all the things AS09 had done. AS09 wasn't a monster or a hero, she was something much more unfair, she was both. Amelia had turned into everyone else and run scared at the horrors of AS09's past, always fearing that AS09 would rise up again. But that wasn't the case, that had never been the case. AS09's job was done, she needed to be put to rest.

Because it was over. And that terrified both Amelia and AS09. The pain, the suffering, the torture, the killing. It was all over and they had a life to live where they could go on silly little dates and hold hands with the person they cared about, they could make pancakes and indulge in junk food, they were free. It shouldn't have been terrifying, and in some ways it wasn't, but it was a big world that they'd never thought existed before.

It was over.

Now that Amelia had finally admitted to herself the real issue, Pierce was gone. The mask she'd been using to hide from her true fears gone, and in its place stood AS09. Not the girl she'd been last year, but the girl she'd been twenty years ago. Much shorter, with a shaved head and wide black eyes that were cold and detached. Her hands were bloody and she had a knife in one of them, probably from her first kill. This was the AS09 when AS09 first came into the world, when Amelia truly became lost.

Though Amelia may have ran away from Clint's child, she didn't run away from this one. She didn't feel the need to because AS09 wasn't a threat anymore. It was time to put her to rest. The brunette slowly approached her younger self, hands shaking and tears beginning to fall from her eyes. She didn't feel weak for crying, weirdly, the tears that fell felt necessary to Amelia.

She crouched down in front of the little girl, not a heartless killer or a monster, but a survivor. "Thank you," she said, reaching out and taking the knife from her hand, "you don't need to fight anymore, it's okay, you can rest now." And then, she embraced the child, she embraced herself in a hug so tight and so warm, giving herself the treatment she'd always deserved. "You're safe."

She felt the small arms wrap around her body and she was hit with a new sensation, it was like the torn up pieces of her heart were coming back together again, beating again, filling her with warmth, with life.

When Amelia opened her eyes, there was no little girl anymore, but there were the stars. Hundreds and millions of stars, all shining down on her. On Amelia Stark.

* * *

 **A/N: Hello! Very nervous about this chapter and what you guys will think of it, I'm trying to leave most of it up to you and whatever you decide it to mean, but obviously I've taken from my experiences and stuff and worked it into this character. Idk.**

 **To JohnnyStormsGirl, it's upsetting that they confessed in such a bad time but they'll get their second chance, if they don't die by the hands of Ultron that is**

 **To Sam0728, I didn't even think it was that sad of a chapter lol, I'm still sorry! I'd say I hope this chapter was better but I'm kinda hoping it'll bring tears to someones eyes just so I'm not alone lol**

 **To LieuDrake, oh my god thank you so much, honestly this meant so much to me thank you**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, exactly! I was worried I'd made the struggle between becoming Amelia too long and too difficult but such a transition was never going to be simple and easy. As someone trying to move on from a life filled with abuse to becoming my own independant person, it's been hell, I've been homeless, I've had no money, I still don't have a job despite my best efforts and I don't even want to start on my mental health. Life itself is difficult. But Amelia is trying, she's facing her demons, she's moving forward and eventually she'll get there.**

 **To Guest, they've spent a year together and Steve's told her plenty of his war stories and a lot of those include Peggy, she was an important part of his past after all :) And yeah, their reliance on each other comes into play with Civil War**

 **To TheQueenOfGoodbyes, it's always interesting to read other people's point of views on the character. In my mind, she's accepting it all because that's what she always did. It's a thing a lot of people who've been abused have, where they constantly blame themselves. Yeah, if it was a stranger, you can bet your ass Amelia would be all 'hell no' but because it's someone close to her and she see's herself as a monster that has the capability of hurting those close to her, it's what she learnt from the abuse and it's something. Plus, Amelia has made mistakes man. She killed someone knowing full well Steve wouldn't agree with it, and as explained in this chapter, her running away has always been an option and Steve sensed that, and she's withheld way more information from him than he has her. I'm not condoning Steve, he's done some bad shit too Sorry for how long the reply has been!**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, thank you!**

 **To Unajet, counselling would probably be a good idea but I think we can all agree that most of the Marvel characters need counselling even without Amelia in the universe**

 **To .2018, thank you!**


	37. Chapter Thirty-Five

**CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE**

* * *

" _The universe just fucking knows when souls are wired to wreck the world together."_

― _**Erin Van Vuren**_

* * *

Amelia didn't have anything weighing her down anymore. As she approached Clint's home there was a spring in her step and a carefree smile on her face. Amelia Stark was free of her past, both Pierce and AS09 had gone and she could finally embrace the life she'd been building with Steve. She wasn't sure how she'd explain it to everyone else, to Steve, she knew that it wasn't normal to be haunted by her past in physical forms. Even though she knew it would be a struggle, she knew she'd have to tell Steve at some point because the brunette didn't want to keep stuff from him anymore, she no longer feared it. Amelia was jumping all in.

The Avengers were very confused when they heard a knock at Clint's door. They were all sat around a table eating a lovely meal that Clint had made with the assistance of Laura, they'd been made aware that Amelia had decided to stay outside for the night and Thor had left so when the knock was heard they all looked to one another with eyebrows raised.

Silence fell around the group as they all expected the worst, but Clint tried to defuse the situation by raising a hand. If it was Ultron or someone planning on taking Bruce into custody after what he did, he doubted that they'd be knocking.

Clint was the one to open the door, "Amelia?" He questioned, saying the name out loud so that everyone else would know it was nothing to be scared of.

The girl in front of him was clearly uncomfortable, her eyes were moving all over the place as she couldn't really decide on where she should be looking. Amelia knew that they'd all seen and heard her crying earlier which was rather embarrassing but she was hoping to move past that, "hey," the brunette responded, waving a hand lamely as a greeting.

"Do you want to come in?" Clint easily guessed, trying to make his voice as gentle as he could as to not scare the ex-assassin away, "it's getting awfully cold out, and Laura saved you some food."

At the mention of food her eyebrows automatically rose up and her eyes landed on him, she opened her mouth to accept his invitation when she saw the small child standing behind him. The excitement was wiped off her face and replaced by reluctance. Though she knew that she was fully in control of that part of herself, that she'd never hurt the child, Amelia was scared that Clint might have thought differently.

Clint turned around to see whatever might have caused her change in demeanour, spotting nothing but Lila who calmly approached her father and grabbed onto his leg, wide eyes looking over to the lady in the doorway. Lila liked the ladies freckles, when it was really sunny she'd see her mum's freckles but the ladies freckles were very apparent even in the dark. The archer's hand automatically fell down to his daughter's shoulder whilst he tried to give a reassuring smile to Amelia, "don't be scared to come in, I'm not."

At first, he had been. Clint would have been lying if he said that he wasn't concerned about bringing someone with her track record to his home, to meet his children and wife. Sure, in a lot of ways Amelia was like Natasha, but Clint didn't know the brunette all that well. It wasn't until he saw how she first reacted to his kids that he decided she wasn't going to be a danger to them at all. She'd run away, scared at how fragile they were, so he knew that whilst near them she'd be sure to be careful.

His words had reassured her and she accepted his invitation, though she didn't walk in until Clint had picked up his child.

When she entered the kitchen all eyes moved onto her, including Steve's. Black connected with blue as she tried to get a read on his emotions, he still looked worn out and a little defeated which made her heart hurt. She missed the Steve she'd conversed with during the Avenger's party, he was merry and open. It was her mission to get him back to being like that. She couldn't just tell him everything then and there though, because that would mean sharing her entire past and the hauntings she'd been experiencing with everyone else, including her brother.

Laura was the first one to speak, to try and break through the tension being created by Amelia's arrival, she grabbed a hold of a plate that had been wrapped up in tinfoil and handed it over to the brunette, "I was just about to bring this out to you, it's Clint's lasagna."

"Hawk-eye cooks?" She asked, baffled as she unravelled the tinfoil to reveal a delicious looking concoction.

The man in question chuckled lowly as he dropped his daughter back down on to the floor so she could return to Laura and finish the drawing she'd been in the middle of doing before Amelia knocked on the door. "There's no need to sound so surprised, I'm not just a pretty face you know."

"I don't recall ever saying you had a pretty face," Amelia did nothing to hide her cheeky expression as she moved to sit herself down next to Natasha. For a second she felt quite guilty, her friend had probably been another victim of the Maximoff twin but she'd done nothing to help her, so caught up in her own issues.

All worries were put aside as Nat smirked at Amelia's comment and patted at her knee once the brunette had sat down, they smiled to each other, an 'it'll be okay' kind of smile that showed they understood both of them had experienced something unpleasant. The brunette didn't waste any time before digging into her food, aware that Steve was only a few centimetres away stood against a wall, arms crossed over his chest and lips pressed down into a straight line. Her brother was playing darts whilst Clint was in the kitchen, and though it shouldn't have taken her so long to notice, she eventually realised there was another presence in the room. Looking up with her cheeks puffing out full of food, she finally spotted Nick Fury who was handing some dirty dishes over to Clint to put in the sink.

She swallowed down her food, a gulping sound loudly being made, and then she pointed over to Nick Fury with the hand that held a spoon in it, "pirates here."

He turned back around to face her after Clint took the dishes from his hands, raising an eyebrow at the girls comment though it wasn't like he'd actually expected her to greet him in a normal human way. "I do have a name, you know?"

Amelia nodded her head, "I know, but it's not as cool as 'Pirate'."

"You're acting sassier than usual," Natasha observed, eyes scanning over her friend and noting that she didn't look or seem as broken as she had earlier.

The brunette shrugged her shoulders, chewing on a small mouthful of lasagna before speaking. As she did, her eyes moved over to Steve, a little sign to him that the words were meant for him as well, "yeah, I'm feeling much better than I did this morning, I'm really sorry I ditched you all, I just needed to figure some stuff out." Tony had moved from separate room where the dart board was, wanting to see for himself the state of his sister and she did look a lot brighter than she had that morning, something he felt he played a part towards seen as he had been the one to force Steve to talk to her, it had Tony feeling a tad joyous

"And did you?" Steve asked, the tone of his voice stiff, "figure stuff out?"

"Yeah." The great thing about spending an entire year with someone is that they get to learn your quirks and what you mean when you say certain things in a certain tone, Steve knew she was talking about what they discussed. He accepted her answer with a curt nod, not just pretending like it never happened which was what they used to do, they'd confessed their love for each other so it wasn't really something they could just look past.

Tony observed from his spot in the doorway, happy to see his sister no longer shaking with sobs, but still not pleased with what he was seeing between Mia and Steve. He didn't feel like it was his place to have an opinion on Mia's relationship seen as technically she'd known Steve longer than she had him, but he had known Steve, and it was a little hurtful that one of his closest friends still had yet to tell him about whatever was going on with his _sister_.

With a sigh he returned to the dart board, using that to extinguish some of his displeasure.

Meanwhile, Amelia was done with having all the attention placed on her, especially after the day she'd had. "So how are things looking with our friendly neighbourhood killerbot?" She asked casually, returning to her food.

All eyes moved over to Nick Fury, the man who had appeared just in time and was helping them whilst they were closed off from the world. "My contacts all say that he's building something and considering the amount of vibranium he made off with, I don't think it's just one thing."

"Which explains why he took us down the way he did," Amelia proposed, beginning to understand why Ultron had chosen to attack them the way he had. It had been something she couldn't figure out at first, it was clear Ultron's plan was to break their spirits with the Maximoff's power, rather than simply taking them down in a more physical way. "So he can buy himself more time whilst we recover." The hardest monsters for people to face, after all, are those inside of themselves.

"Exactly," Fury confirmed as he grabbed a glass from Clint's cupboards, familiar with the layout of his agents home which had everyone wondering how many times Fury went over. It was clear Natasha was over often as well, Laura wouldn't be naming a child after her if she wasn't. So did that mean that Clint, Natasha and Fury often hung around the agents home?

"What about Ultron then, do we have any idea where he is?" Steve asked.

"Oh, he's easy to track, he's everywhere." Fury replied confidently, "guy's multiplying faster than a catholic rabbit. Still doesn't help us get an angle on any of his plans tough."

"He still going after launch codes?" Tony offered, knowing if he was an evil mastermind that's where he'd start.

"Yes, he is," Fury's confirmation had Amelia's eyes widening. She'd only recently learnt about how weaponised the planet was, and she'd been terrified when Steve told her that all it would take was a press of a button and a couple of numbers to set off all those nuclear bombs. Fury noticed the look and he shook his head, waving his hand in a gesture to try and make her calm down, "but he's not making any headway."

"I cracked the Pentagon's firewall in high school on a dare," Tony scoffed, not trying to be cocky, just trying to make everyone realise how easy it was to get their hands on the launch codes.

"Yeah, well, I contacted our friends at the NEXUS about that," the pirate rebutted, beginning to make himself a sandwich which comforted Amelia slightly. She doubted he'd be making a sandwich if the world was about to end.

"NEXUS?" Steve asked, only a second ahead of Amelia who also didn't know. She was beginning to see that whilst she'd been discovering plenty of things during her year with Steve, she'd also missed out on a lot.

Bruce came out of the corner he'd been sat in, offering an explanation for everyone, "it's the world internet hub in Oslo, every byte of data flows through there, fastest access on earth." Steve was grateful that Bruce was the one to give the explanation because the scientist found it much easier to dumb things down than Tony did.

"So what'd they say?" Clint asked.

"He's fixated on the missiles, but the codes are constantly being changed." Nick took a chunk out of his sandwich once he was done speaking, the news surprising everyone.

"By whom?" Tony questioned just as Clint threw three darts at the board, closely missing Tony's nose as he'd chosen to stand directly beside the board. The billionaire sent a look towards Clint but the archer just shrugged his shoulders, smug.

"Parties unknown."

"Do we have an ally?" Natasha asked.

"Ultron's got an enemy, that's not the same thing. Still, I'd pay folding money to know who it is," Nick was just as curious as the rest of them.

Tony stepped back into the dining room, darts still in his hand, "I might need to visit Oslo, find our 'unknown'," he decided, never one to ignore something he was curious about.

Natasha was looking down at the table, shaking her head silently. Amelia noticed and frowned. Her friend had seen something horrible and she wanted payback, obviously the news Fury had brought wasn't as useful as she'd hoped though. The brunette's thoughts were confirmed as Nat began to speak, cutting over Tony, "well, this is good times, boss, but I was kind of hoping when I saw you, you'd have more than that." Natasha Romanoff wasn't just hurt, she was angry, because not only had Ultron gotten to her, he'd gotten to everyone that was close to her.

"I do," Nick argued, opening his arms so that he could gesture towards the rest of the group, "I have you." Everyone blinked at him, clearly not seeing the same kind of picture that the pirate did, so he walked around the kitchen counter and delved into an explanation for them. "Back in the day, I had eyes everywhere, ears everywhere else. You kids had all the tech you could dream up. Here we all are, back on earth, with nothing but our wit, and our will to save the world. Ultron says the Avengers are the only thing between him and his mission. And whether or not he admits it, his mission is global destruction. All this, laid in a grave. So stand. Outwit the platinum bastard."

Fury's words had been just what the group needed to hear, a reminder of why they were there. And though Amelia might not have been a part of the Avengers, she was a part of Steve's life and it had been an unspoken agreement between them that wherever he went, she went, and vice versa.

"Steve doesn't like that kind of talk," Natasha joked, spirits lifted slightly.

Despite himself, Steve smiled, "you know what, Romanoff?" He mocked a threat, earning a mischievous smile back from the Russian.

"So what does Ultron want?" Fury asked the team, going back to the mission at hand as he relaxed himself into one of the chairs at Clint's dining table.

"To become better, better than us." Steve supplied his own guess, looking to everyone else to see if they agreed.

Amelia nodded in agreement as she placed down her spoon and fork onto her emptied plate, bringing up her hands so she could clasp them and rest her head on top of them, "that's why he keeps building loads of bodies," she ended Steve's thoughts with her own, her soldier giving a nod of agreement which she appreciated. Even though they weren't on talking terms that didn't mean they'd reject anything the other had to say, they were both better than that.

"Person bodies," Tony added, a thought occurring in his mind as he straightened up, "the human form is inefficient, biologically speaking, we're outmoded. But he keeps coming back to it."

Natasha looked over to Bruce who had approached the table, noticing the painting of a butterfly that Lila had done for Nat, "when you two programmed him to protect the human race," Nat began, turning back to face Tony, "you amazingly failed."

"They don't need to be protected," Bruce interrupted, hand reaching out to the painting of the butterfly, "they need to evolve. Ultron's going to evolve."

"How?"

"Has anyone been in contact with Helen Cho?" Bruce asked, answering Fury's question with his own.

The Avengers had a new destination, Seoul, Korea. It was where Helen Cho was and it was where Bruce believed Ultron would be, because there he'd be able to create a proper body with the use of Dr Cho's advanced technology. Steve had already gotten back into his suit whilst Natasha was still getting ready, Bruce waiting on the quinjet for Nick who stood in the hallway of Barton's home with Tony, discussing their next plans. Amelia was stood close by, peeking out from behind a wall and watching them all make their plans, wondering where she'd come into play.

"I'll take Natasha and Clint," Steve decided as he attached his shield to the magnets at the back of his suit. Amelia didn't have to get ready because her suit wasn't finished yet, she simply stuck with her vest and jeans.

"Alright," Tony agreed, eyes flashing over to his sister for a moment, wondering just as much as she was where she'd be placed in all of this, "I'll hit the NEXUS, I'll join you as soon as I can."

"If Ultron's really building a body…"

"He'll be more powerful than any of us. Maybe all of us. An android designed by a robot." Stark finished for the captain, Nick nodding his head with a concerned expression on his face. They needed to eliminate the threat as soon as possible.

Steve tried to act like he wasn't scared. He learnt after world war two that showing fear in front of the people he was meant to lead wouldn't help anyone, it would only assure their own fears. "You know, I really miss the days when the weirdest thing science ever created was me."

He received a short laugh in response from his peers, the kind of laugh people only have when they were trying to pretend like they weren't worried about something. Nick patted Cap's arm supportively, "I'll drop Banner off at the tower." He then turned to face Tony, "do you mind if I borrow Ms Hill?"

"She's all yours, apparently. What are you going to do?"

Nick shrugged his shoulders but a mischievous smile still managed it's way onto his lips, "I don't know. Something dramatic, I hope."

"And what about me?" Amelia finally asked, she'd heard all their plans and not one of them mentioned her.

Steve's eyes fell on her for only a moment when she first spoke, then he just looked at the floor, "you can go back to the tower with Bruce."

Even Tony raised his eyebrows at Steve's decision, meanwhile Amelia scoffed, stepping fully into the hallway and walking towards him, "no I'm not," she refuted. His jaw tightened but Steve said no further words so she looked towards her brother and Nick, hoping that they'd argue in her defence. She hadn't expected him to sideline her, even if they were arguing, she could still be made useful.

Tony held up his hands, "I'm not a part of your little domestic here," he commented, quickly making his escape and though Nick didn't say anything, he took the opportunity to follow Tony's footsteps.

"Look at me, Steve," Amelia demanded, tone cold as the soldier continued to defy her orders. He looked to the left instead, at the yellow-cream wall of Clint's home, anywhere but her. She huffed, nostril flaring, "you don't get to sideline me, Steve, not unless you give me a good reason"

"I don't want you to go through the Maximoff's mind tricks again," he revealed to her, making Amelia realise the hours he must have spent with her in his arms, sobbing and shaking and begging for something all inside her head. She might have been the one experiencing it, but he had to experience the effects of it, and seeing someone he loved in that sort of pain had been like multiple gunshot wounds to the heart.

That wasn't such a terrible reason, she supposed. She'd expected his reason to be that he thought their argument would get in the way or something as trivial as that, but no, his reasoning was actually quite sweet and it made her heart swell despite the anger she felt towards him. Her shoulders fell a little, becoming less rigid as she began to understand his reason. "Well, don't worry. I'm not even gonna let that little witch come near me this time around." She waited for him to respond but he remained quiet, "Steve," Amelia pushed again, growing tired of his reluctance to let her fight, "I'm not really giving you a choice here."

His shoulders dropped too, not because he was relaxing though, it was because Steve felt defeated. Amelia was right, they were better as a team than they were apart and he'd been stupid for wanting her to just return to the Avenger's tower, though she'd have been safer there it wouldn't have been respectful to Amelia, who was a trained fighter with powers that could end up being imperative. She wasn't just a basic human. "Fine," he relinquished.

Amelia gave a curt nod, saying 'that's right' with her actions. All that was left after that was tension, normally they'd hug or hold hands or have casual chatter, it hurt her that they weren't comfortable enough to do that. She assured herself that they'd go back to being that way once they sorted out Ultron. The world was going to have to take priority for a second.

They dwelled in an awkward silence for a moment, Steve suddenly turning his body fully to hers, opening his mouth to say something but then shutting it again moments later. He tried again seconds later, actual words coming out of his mouth during the second attempt, "I'm sorry," he threw the words out quickly and bravely, "some of the stuff I said to you wasn't right at all and-"

"It's okay," Amelia interrupted, "it helped me figure stuff out, and if you take back part of it then you'll have to take back all of it. I'm not taking back what I said."

Her words made his eyes fall but he did relinquish, he meant what he said about loving her but he did fear he'd gone a little bit too far with some of the other things. Steve decided he'd figure out a way to make it up and learn from the mistake. Seen as he had nothing left to say, the silence returned again.

Rather than dwelling in the awkward tension any longer she decided to go check on Natasha whilst Steve stuttered out a lame excuse that he was going to discuss the plan with Clint.

* * *

 **A/N: Hello! This chapter is hella rubbish and honestly, I blame AOU for being a not-so-good-movie. I finished all of the AOU chapters today and I'm so happy to be passed this shit, like if you love the movie then yes you do you but this is near the bottom of my list. Writing it is even worse. But yeah, no more complaining. Gonna get to planning part three soon and I have so much planned plot-wise, I doubt any of you will be expecting what I've got!**

 **To .2018, I saw this review and sent my friend about a million different messages with the word 'gopd' instead of good, she didn't find it as funny as I did but honestly I don't care I think good should be spelt gopd from now on okay it's a much better word to say**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, thank you!**

 **To kuppcake, hard times are sometimes necessary, they help people grow :)**

 **To thenightowl57, it was never really Pierce that she couldn't let go of, it was easier to fight off Pierce than it was to face the fact that she didn't need to be AS09 anymore, she didn't need to fight to survive anymore, not in the same way she used to anyway (there weren't any killer-bots after her back then, just Pierce and his Hydra agents). She needed to say goodbye to her old life and fully move on, before she always thought the way to move on would be to kill Pierce but then he died so all she was left with was her trauma. It was never Pierce she was getting rid of, it was the trauma, the one thing she'd been running from over and over again. I hope this makes sense!**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, thank you, thank you, thank you!**

 **To JohnnyStormsGirl, I mean probably not but WHO KNOWS**

 **To Sam0728, I know that recovery is different for everyone, some people get one defining moment whereas other people have to work really hard. Amelia is a bit of both. And thank you so much for the compliments!**

 **To BigBangVIP, thank you I'm honestly so pleased that everyone seems to like it!**

 **And a big Hulk-like thank you to everyone that read this chapter, it's not really all that exciting but I promise that the next one is!**


	38. Chapter Thirty-Six

**CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX**

* * *

" _I will be wild. I will be brutal. I will encircle you and conquer you. I will be more powerful than your boats and your blood lust. I will be inevitable."_

― _**Rachel Swirsky**_

* * *

The quinjet got them to Seoul in no time, Hawk-eye taking them straight to the U-Gin Genetic Research Lab where Dr Helen Cho worked. Cap was getting ready to leave the jet as they went over the roof of the building and Amelia joined his side, standing over the bomb-bay doors and waiting for the appropriate time to jump down.

"What are you doing?" Steve asked incredulously as the brunette tucked a gun into her holster.

She turned to face him with an eyebrow quirked, feeling like the answer was pretty clear, "I'm getting ready to leave?"

"No, you stay here with Clint and Natasha," he ordered, the authority in his tone making it clear he didn't want to argue on it.

Natasha, who had been listening in on to their conversation, looked between the two and tried to get a read on their body language. Steve seemed much more closed off to Amelia, confirming her suspicions that there was an issue going on between them which her friend had yet to share with her. Clint had visited her whilst they were staying in the farmhouse and gossiped with her about some sort of argument they'd had, he hadn't heard all of it though, earning a comment from Nat on how he'd failed as her spy, to which Clint replied with 'I have a keen eye, not a keen ear'.

"Steve, come on," Natasha urged, knowing how much Freckles despised being put on the sidelines and knowing that an unhappy Freckles wouldn't help them fix whatever the issue was between them.

"Get ready to go!" Clint called from the pilots seat.

Steve continued to shake his head at them, "no means no." He said with finality, hating how much of parent he'd started to sound like but he was still wary of having Amelia interacting with the Maximoff twin again, even if Amelia had told him she was prepared. It was meant to be a simple recon mission, if it turned into anything more than he might consider asking for her assistance.

If Steve hadn't at least agreed to let her come along than Amelia probably wouldn't have obeyed him that one time but she didn't feel the need to argue anymore with him so she relinquished, raising her hands up in the air and retreating to go stand next to Clint as he opened the doors and allowed Steve to leave.

Natasha approached her friend whilst Steve was wandering into the lab from the rooftop, pressing her friends side with her finger and then once she'd gained Amelia's attention she signalled for her to take her ear comm out. Once she had done so the two were allowed to have a private conversation, "what happened?"

"Everything, all at once. But don't worry, we're on the repair." Amelia responded, confident in what she said.

"You sure?"

The brunette gave a resolute nod, "he just needs to get his head out of his-"

"Dr Cho!" Steve's panicked voice could be heard through the comm that echoed in the quinjet, both Natasha and Amelia switched into serious mode, placing their ear comms back in and listening to the conversation Cap had with a very pained sounding Dr Cho.

"He's uploading himself into the body," the doctor said, her voice sounding hoarse and pained.

"Where?"

"The real power is inside the cradle. The gem, its power is uncontainable. You can't just blow it up. You have to get the cradle to Stark." Amelia had underestimated Helen, back at the party she'd seemed like just any old doctor but she'd been wrong, Dr Helen Cho was speaking despite the horrendous wound Ultron had caused her. Amelia heard the pain in Cho's voice, and she respected her for putting their mission above asking Steve to help her.

"First I have to find it," Steve responded and Amelia could just imagine him looking at her wounds with worry, trying to decide whether he should stay and help the damsel in distress or go after Ultron.

Whilst Amelia knew which one he should choose, she worried that his chivalry would get in the way. Thankfully, Helen pushed him away, "go," she urged.

"Did you guys copy that?" Steve asked as he set off on his journey to go after Ultron.

"We did," Clint confirmed whilst Natasha grabbed a hold of one of Stark's devices, pressing buttons on it and scanning the area around them for anything unusual.

After a couple of seconds working on the device she found something that could be useful, "I got a private jet taking off, across town, no manifest. That could be him."

Clint was busy looking around himself, his amazing eyesight being much more useful then the data Nat was trying to search through, "there," he suddenly voiced, focusing on a truck below them. Amelia wandered over to the window and tried to spot what he was looking at. "It's the truck from the lab. Right above you, Cap. On the loop by the bridge." On the screen in front of him, he used Stark's technology to focus in on the truck and analyse it, giving him a view of what was inside the back of the truck. "I got three with the cradle, one in the cab. I could take out the driver."

"Negative! If that truck crashes, the gem could level the city." Steve quickly explained before Clint could fire, busying himself with climbing a ladder so that he could reach the bridge above the lorry in time for him to jump down onto it, "we need to draw out Ultron."

"And on that note," Amelia mumbled, reaching over Clint to press the button for the bomb-bay doors. There was absolutely no way she was going to sit out on the fight against Ultron, not after he'd just revealed the potential that gem had to kill him. And from the scans, it didn't look like either of the Maximoff twins were with Ultron so it _should_ have been fine for her to join Cap.

"Amelia, no," Steve interjected, easily guessing what she was about to do. Clint looked over to Natasha to see if either of them should stop her but the redhead just shrugged her shoulders at him, the smile on her face telling him not to worry so he returned his attention back to flying the jet.

"Amelia, yes." She replied back with before allowing herself to fall through the doors, hurtling down to the ground. Starlight white enveloped her body and carried her over to the truck which she gracefully landed herself on, soon joined by her soldier that jumped from the bridge above them. "Hi, honey," she said in greeting, not at all perturbed by the unamused expression on Steve's face.

He pointed an accusatory finger in her direction, "we're going to talk about this later," he said, nostrils flaring at her disobedience.

The brunette continued to smile playfully as she saluted him, "yes sir." She was glad he'd chosen to just accept that she'd crashed the party, rather than ordering her to fly all the way back up to the quinjet.

They start running towards the edge of the truck, her crouching down whilst Steve manoeuvred himself onto the door, hoping to unlock it and then enter the back of the truck. Ultron was one step ahead of them though, shooting down the door and causing it to swing wide open, Amelia watched with her hands raised, ready to use her telekinesis on Steve if required. "I think he knows we're here!" She yelled over the passing wind as Steve struggled to keep himself attached to the door which swung wildly back and forth.

He used his feet to push against the wall of the truck, swinging the door back so that he could then slip inside but Ultron just sent another blast which made both Steve and the door fly upwards, away from the truck. That was when Amelia came in, reacting quickly to the blast and pulling her hands against her chest, making Steve fly forwards on top of her rather than simply falling onto the hard asphalt road.

There wasn't any time to appreciate the position they were in, Steve laid on top of Amelia, as they quickly departed and stood back up, turning to face Ultron who had exited the truck, leaving the cradle with two of his robot minions.

"You know what's in that cradle?" Ultron asked as he began to fire a repulsor blast, the noise of the blast giving Steve enough time to wrap his arms around Amelia's waist and turn around, the blast hitting his shield, not him or Amelia. "The power to make real change, and that terrifies you."

"I wouldn't call it a comfort," Steve responded, releasing Amelia and grabbing his shield, throwing it towards Ultron and hitting him in the stomach, managing to knock the robot back.

Whilst he was distracted the brunette used her telekinesis to pull the knives from her pockets, throwing them towards the robot but doing no damage whatsoever to his vibranium skin. She cursed under her breath, reaching for her guns and trying them, again the weaponry just bounced off his impenetrable skin, making her realise just how unprepared she was for Ultron which was probably the reason why Steve didn't want her fighting him.

Ultron shoved Cap's shield aside, dropping it down onto the road, unperturbed by Amelia's own attacks. He charged forward, shooting beams towards them which Amelia quickly countered with her own powers, flicking them away and then creating a forcefield for her and Steve when he came too close for her to easily send his attacks away.

She couldn't put too much energy into the forcefield out of fear that she wouldn't be able to do anything else with her powers, that meant it was easily broken by Ultron. He sent out another laser which should have hit her but Steve shoved her aside, taking the hit for her and being sent flying back onto the front of the truck, he began to manoeuvre around, avoiding the driving robots attacks.

Amelia turned her head to check on Steve before returning to Ultron, facing him as he started to attack her with more lazers. She didn't have any weapons of her own and Ultron's attacks were starting to work, she created a shield of her own with the white energy but the force of the attacks was pushing her further and further back until she was at the edge of the truck.

"You're the worst of them you know," Ultron spat out, hatred melding with his robotic voice, "your past is paved in red."

Anger flashed in her, the insult in his words hitting her. She yelled out as she charged forward, deflecting all of his attacks and then leaping forward so she could throw herself onto Ultron's back, her thighs wrapping around his neck and clenching the way Natasha had taught her. She didn't have any weapons to use against him though, and for a moment, she panicked.

It was a last resort, something her and Steve had only tested once before and it hadn't ended well. She tried to concentrate all her energy in the air around her, making it take form into a shard-like object which she then throw into Ultron's shell. She was surprised when it actually worked, the shard planting itself into his shoulder and burning through the vibranium. Ultron was completely open because he was trying so much to get her off of him.

Somehow, Amelia kept managing to make the shards, kept managing to drive them into Ultron's body, reaching deeper and deeper into his shell. She was sure that soon she'd reach something vital and he'd drop.

But it was her that dropped first. The world around her became dizzy and she became aware of the blood leaving her nose. She hadn't practised enough with making the shards, she was pouring so much energy into it and it was overexerting her body. Amelia tried to keep her hold on Ultron tight but the world began to fade in and out, and before she knew it, Ultron had torn her off his back and thrown her harshly onto the truck's roof.

For a moment she couldn't breathe, the impact winding her and making her lose consciousness for a short moment.

When she opened her eyes again she was still on a moving truck and to her left, she saw Natasha approaching on a motorbike. She inhaled as much oxygen as she could, the world spinning around her and it didn't seem to stop once she'd managed to get her lungs working again. From behind her, she heard Steve's familiar fighting sounds and she knew he'd gotten back on top of the truck and was fighting Ultron, that made her feel a little safer.

She turned her head so that she could see what Ultron and Steve were doing and she regretted the action immediately, seeing that Ultron had his hand wrapped around Steve's throat. Immediately she tried to get up but her rushed actions only assisted the dizzying effects on her body, making her collapse again.

Thankfully Natasha came to the rescue, catching up with the truck and launching Steve's shield up to him. He made quick use of the weapon, attacking at Ultron's hand and knocking the robot away. The soldier moved over to Amelia, helping her stand up on two feet, "you okay?"

"Always," she replied, trying to joke and avoid Steve saying 'I told you so' but he didn't have to as his tight lipped expression said it loud and clear.

Ultron stood back up and shot his laser towards them, Steve immediately bringing up his shield. They were both pushed off the back of the truck, landing on a car which thankfully Steve took most of the hit for, otherwise Amelia might have been made redundant. Steve released a frustrated groan as he looked back up, Amelia also watching with wide eyes as Ultron calmly walked to the end of the truck and brought up his hand. He didn't use telekinesis, that was the brunette's thing, instead, he used magnets to pull up a part of the ground which had the car they were on to flip.

Steve hugged Amelia's body closely as they rolled off the car before it could squash them beneath it, but Amelia knew that there were other cars which would follow soon so she pulled herself from Steve's hold and despite the way the world spun she held out her hands and created the biggest forcefield she'd ever had to make.

A wall of white filled the street as cars bashed against it, causing ripples to flow through it like water, and in the middle of the wall stood Amelia, a girl who seemed far to small for the power she was exhibiting.

The soldier looked up, shocked by the beautiful display and also horrified. "Freckles, stop," he pushed, standing up on his feet and moving over to her as she maintained the forcefield until all the cars had finished crashing. Blood poured from both her nose and ears, a sign that she'd overexerted herself and passed her limit but she was fighting on. Steve had said that the gem was dangerous enough to level the city and if Ultron got away with it then he'd be a powerful foe, perhaps too powerful, that was a good enough reason for Amelia to go over her limits. Plus, it could be a learning experience, she mused, as she'd never actually used her powers after the nosebleeds.

She dropped the forcefield finally and allowed herself a moment to fall slack in Steve's arms, a moment to get her breath back and give her powers a break. She had no other choice but to use them in the situation she was in.

"Right," she eventually sighed, only really giving herself a second. "We're going to run up to the truck and then jump, I can only really use my telekinesis on myself right now because that takes less energy, which means you're going to have to hold onto me, tight." She knew Steve was about to argue on how dangerous it was for her to even continue using her powers, and how lifting him without the assistance of her powers would no doubt do some damage to her arm, but that was the great thing about all the torture she'd gone through, it had made her stronger and more resilient to pain.

In order to not hear his argument, she set off on a sprint, her hand wrapping around Steve's arm and his hand tightening around her arm. Soon enough it was Steve running ahead, pulling her along behind, his speed far superior to hers. And then they were jumping, and it felt like her arm was being pulled off as she lifted Steve's weight up and onto the truck.

The moment they landed Steve ran forward to fight Ultron whilst she nursed her arm, sure that she'd dislocated her shoulder by pulling it out of its socket. Amelia had managed to build up a lot of muscle the past year but it was basically useless when it came to lifting up Steve Rogers. "You need to lose some weight," she commented as Steve dodged an attack from Ultron.

"Now is _really_ not the time!" He yelled back as he charged towards Ultron, smashing his shield against the stomach of the robot and receiving a hit to his face in return. Ultron was about to bring his fist down again but Amelia held out her hand and stopped his fist from coming down, Steve quickly noticed what she was doing and attacked Ultron so she could release her hold. He was getting more and more concerned. She'd started sweating profusely and not only was blood pouring from her nose and ears but her eyes had turned bloodshot.

Clint appeared then, the quinjet flying down and beginning to shoot at Ultron. From inside the truck, his two robots that had been guarding the cradle flew out, chasing the quinjet which left them once again.

Amelia didn't have to look behind her to guess what was happening, Natasha had probably asked for the distraction and was making her move to get into the back of the truck and secure the cradle. Which meant all they had to do was keep Ultron distracted.

The killerbot made it both a little easier and a lot harder when he charged at Steve and threw him into a train that was passing them. Amelia tried to run across the space between the truck and the train so that she could join her soldier. She stumbled her way there, feeling drunk as she teetered from side to side, dizzy and weak.

"I'm going in, Cap can you keep him occupied?" Natasha asked sweetly into the comms

"What do you think I've been doing?" Steve responded, slightly out of breath as he fought Ultron alone. He didn't want Amelia anywhere near the battle anyway, worried that if she took another hit then that would be it for her. Thankfully a different kind of help arrived.

Blue flashed by Ultron, knocking him down before he could attack Captain America. Ultron recovered quickly, standing back up and moving towards Steve only to have metal bars move in front of him, the bars wrapped in a familiar red.

Amelia had just made it onto the train cart, having to get through the window on a different one and then stumble her way onto the scene. She saw Ultron first, saw the disappointment and hurt on his metal face, "please, don't do this."

"What choice do we have?" Wanda Maximoff replied from the opposite side of the car, Amelia's eyes turning to slits once she saw the witch. For a moment she forgot all about Ultron, and just remembered the horrifying image that she'd been forced to live through. All her instincts told her to attack the witch.

Ultron sighed, shoulders falling slightly at the Maximoff's betrayal. He turned around and raised his hand, firing repulsor beams in Amelia and Pietro's direction.

The brunette acted fast and without much thought. She didn't know who she was saving, she just knew that there was another person in the way of his lasers and so she jumped towards him, knocking the person down to the ground and dodging Ultron's attack.

Pietro looked up at Amelia in surprise and she had the exact same expression on her face. "T-thank you," he stuttered out, the brunette getting off of him without a word and turning to see that Ultron had left, and he'd left a giant hole in the train. Rather than paying the twin any notice she'd followed Steve into the control room where they found an unconscious driver and a multitude of broken controls.

"Please tell me you know how to drive a train," she asked him, pressing random buttons with her hand but they affected nothing as the entire circuit had been damaged by Ultron's departing shot.

"It's a little different to riding a motorbike," he answered, giving up on trying to wake the driver.

"Guys, you seen Nat?" Clint asked anxiously through the comms, filling both Captain America and Amelia with dread.

"If you've got the package, get it to Stark," Steve responded, it wasn't an easy decision to make and Amelia resented it a little because she was worried about her friend, but she also knew better than anyone about putting missions first.

"Do you have eyes on Nat?" Clint repeated.

"Go!" Steve ordered once again, just as adamant as Clint had been, and when the archer said no more words they knew he'd followed his orders.

Steve hit his fists against the control panel, an angry noise passing his lips. Amelia wished she could have reached out to him and soothed his pain but it wasn't the right time and they weren't in the right situation. He turned to face Amelia, "can you stop this thing?"

Steve had never hated himself so much. First Nat, and then he was trying to push Amelia over her limit. But he had to save the little people. They were always put first because they always needed defending, especially from people like Ultron, people that were on the wrong side of justice. Nat could defend herself, he had to put faith in that just like he was putting faith in Amelia.

She imagined it all in her head, how she'd use her powers to stop the very large train. There was just no doing it. Reluctantly she shook her head. If she tried then she'd most likely faint before the train had even slowed down. Her eyes roamed back to the cart they were just in, widening as they focused on someone in particular, "not alone."

Though she hated it, the brunette had no other choice. She charged over to Wanda and Steve followed her back into the cart, understanding her plan when he realised she was aiming for Wanda. He turned to Pietro as they passed, "Civilians in our path," he explained to him, hoping the speedster would understand what he was asking. With no questions asked he exited the train, getting in front of it in no time and pushing aside all those that could have been hit by it.

Wanda looked over to Amelia, slightly scared of the brunette who's black eyes seemed to consume her with their depth. "We need to stop this train but I've used a lot of my energy, I think we can do it if we put our powers together! Think you can do that?" She stared down the witch, not bothering to hide her intimidation. Amelia was putting a lot of trust into the twin, if Wanda denied her, then she really would have no issue taking her down, even in her current condition. Thankfully, the girl nodded her head. "Give me your hand!"

They took a hold of each other's hands, red and white dancing off their fingers and intertwining the same way ink melted into water. She didn't actually know what she was doing, it had been a lot like when she created the shards of energy earlier, she was just winging it and hoping for the best. Closing her eyes, instead of seeing the darkness, she pictured Steve's blue eyes, allowing the colour to calm her and help her gain better control.

Soon enough red and white was dancing from their bodies, falling from their hands down onto the floor and rolling like waves all around the train, enveloping it like a warm hug.

Wanda had never done anything like that either, and she was terrified. Never before had so many people's lives weighed down on her shoulders, and she found it a hard burden to carry but surprisingly having Amelia there lifted half of it. She felt guilty for what she put Amelia through then.

Though Amelia's eyes were closed she heard Steve yelling, he'd been hit and knocked down and whilst she wanted to run over and check if he was okay she continued to concentrate on keeping her energy flowing around the train.

It was a weird sensation, tangling her powers with someone else's. Her assumption had been right though, Wanda's powers were very similar to hers. Though it sounded peculiar, Amelia couldn't help but connect the feeling she had as they shared their powers to the same feeling she had when she hugged Tony, it was a strong sense of familiarity and _home_. But it wasn't her, it was her powers that felt like they'd found their family.

The wind and crashing sounds lessened into a screeching noise as the train came to an eventual halt, once all sound was gone excluding the weepings of some of the passengers on board, Amelia collapsed, completely drained.

She didn't land on any harsh metals, instead, she fell into familiar arms. Looking up she was met with Steve Roger's beautiful face, and for a dizzying moment, Amelia was sure she'd landed in the arms of an angel. "I'm okay," she reassured, knowing the question would already be burning his tongue. It was a lie though. Her head pulsated with pain and she could already feel blood drying against her skin from all the nosebleeds she'd had. If it hadn't been for Wanda's power then she definitely wouldn't be conscious in that moment.

"I don't understand," came an equally worn out voice from beside her, making Amelia turn her head to face Wanda, "you've had your powers longer than me, yet you seem weaker, like… like you're not one with them, yet."

Amelia didn't like what the Maximoff twin was implying, that she was less powerful than her, but the brunette shrugged her shoulders because she was far too tired to argue. "I may have had the powers longer, but I didn't start using them properly until a year ago," she explained, trying to sound casual and not as exhausted as she felt. The brunette aimed to stand up, having to use the soldier beside her for assistance, "plus I'm sort of just learning as I go."

The moment she was on her feet though, the blackness took a hold of her. If Amelia was being honest, she was surprised it had taken so long to get to her. She fainted into Steve's arms, the last thing she heard being: "I've got you."

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry for there being no update yesterday, I was out for most of it so I had no time to write. I'm seeing Infinity War again on Sunday but I should still be updating a chapter! So yeah, hope we liked this chapter. In the next one we get to see what happened in 2012 from Steve's point of view. Much excitement! I'm really curious about what you guys will think and how you think it will affect the rest of Amelia's tale. Also yus, we see the beginning of Amelia/Wanda friendship in this chapter, though Amelia's still pretty bitter about what Wanda did to her mind.**

 **To .2018, don't apologise! Gopd is such a fun word, has me smiling at the thought of it.**

 **To kuppcake, thank you, I've been worried about Amelia's role in AOU but I'm glad you're liking it thus far**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, I'm sorry for making you wait another day! I hope you still enjoyed Wanda and Amelia meeting up again.**

 **To thenightowl57, you're welcome :)**

 **To Sam0728, you're spoiling me with the compliments tho! Oh well, it motivates me and helps me write even when I'm doubting myself**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, everytime someone compliments me I always think about the last fanfiction I wrote which was horrific with so many spelling mistakes and bad writing and yeah, it was just bad. So hearing my writing being called 'professional' brings a tear to my eye, writing is literally all I can ever remember doing so thank you so much!**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, robot Steve has left the building! And honestly who knows, maybe there won't even be a Pietro scene! I have so much power as a writer! I might go crazy with it!**

 **To BrittStar19, I'm working my way there slowly but surely, I hope you don't mind that I'm changing part three to my own plot, it will heavily influence the stuff that goes down in Civil War though!**

 **And a big blooming beautiful thank you to everyone that read the chapter!**


	39. Chapter Thirty-Seven

**CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN**

* * *

" _Her eyes are pure stars, and her fingers, if they touch you, freeze you to the bone."_

― _**Virginia Woolf**_

* * *

When Amelia came too she felt much more relaxed and cool, something wet and soft had been placed on her forehead and she felt a presence beside her, she instantly knew it was Steve. There was something familiar about the warmth that radiated form him.

Her bones still felt weary but they clicked marvellously as she stretched them out, bending her back as well and puffing out her chest. The remnants of her exhausting her powers could still be felt, her head buzzed with an ache and her shoulder still ached though it was no longer dislocated which meant Steve had put it back whilst she was unconscious.

Waking up with Steve beside her always had her awakening in a good, serene, mood. She knew there were no dangers to get frantic about. As she relaxed again she turned to face him, they were both in separate seats on a plane with an arm rest between them but she was small enough to tuck her legs underneath herself and lean her head against his shoulder. The memories of the previous days slowly returned but she didn't feel panicked, things with Steve were looking up, that became clear the moment he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"Hey," she greeted, voice quiet and soft.

"Morning, sleepyhead," Steve responded though she wasn't sure if it was actually morning because the window beside their seat had been shut.

She pulled the wet towel off her forehead, throwing it onto the table between them and the other seats. The jet they were in was pretty roomy, leading her to assume it was a ride home her brother had arranged for them. "We've got an hour left of the flight," Steve informed her, "when we get back I think we might have to stop Tony from doing something stupid."

The brunette groaned at the new information, sitting herself back up and turning her body around so that she could face Steve, "what's my brother done now."

"You've given him the cradle, he will not be wise with it," Wanda's accented voice sounded from the seats to their left.

Amelia cocked her head to the side to get a better view of the twins who seemed quite comfy with a packet of crisps and two cans of coke between them. She quirked up one eyebrow as she looked back to Steve, "who let the strays onto the plane?" Her disdain was very clear in her tone of voice.

"You know I am right," Wanda insisted with a loud and adamant tone. Amelia turned back to face her, ready to fight, but the look on Wanda's face repeated her words. Amelia did know she was right, because Amelia had seen the vision that Tony had, she knew that her brother would do anything to stop that vision from coming true. It didn't make him a villian, in fact, it made him very human. The ex-assassin sighed out a long breath, turning to face Steve who showed with his expression that he agreed with Wanda. "And also," the twin continued, "I want to apologise, for what I did to you and your friends."

Amelia was silent for a moment, taking in that the twins were apparently on their side and also that Wanda actually felt guilty for what she'd done. "Its okay," she eventually mumbled, "you were just following your orders, I suppose." The anger could still be heard vibrating her tone but it wasn't as disdainful as before. She'd forgiven, but she hadn't forgotten. Wanda could at least accept that. The brunette didn't want to dwell on it too much though and so she returned her attentions to Steve, looking for answers, "did you at least try and talk to Tony?"

"He's not answering." Steve didn't look angry, he actually looked quite sorry and it was all directed to Amelia. He hated the fact that all that seemed to surround her rekindled relationship with Tony was drama, he'd hoped they'd have spent actual time together and gotten to know each other, not get put in the middle of a battle.

The brunette accepted his answer, "we try to talk to him first," she ordered and Steve nodded his head in agreement with her plan.

She wasn't sure when it happened, but things seemed to be going well between her and Steve again, which she was grateful for. Perhaps it was because it was just them again, and not them and the Avengers, or maybe it was because Amelia had proved herself time and time again in the battle with Ultron that she was with him till the end of the line, maybe it was because Steve just couldn't quit her so easily. Either way, she was glad to have him talking to her again.

Automatically their hands moved to grasp each other's, both of them needing comfort.

"You said we've got an hour?" Amelia asked, fingers beginning to play with his, familiarising them once more.

"Yeah, why?"

The brunette looked up nervously through her lashes, her hand tightening around his as though she could squeeze out the panic she felt, "tell me what happened in 2012." Instantly, Steve recoiled away, trying to pull his hand away from hers but she kept it tightly in her grasp. "Steve," she soothed, pulling his hand back down, she dropped her voice down lower so that the Maximoff twins wouldn't hear, "I promise you I'm here to stay, no matter what happened in my past, I know who I am now. You can ask me any damn question you want, and I'll answer it with complete honesty, but only if I know I'll get the same from you. Please, Steve."

The soldier looked down, feeling slightly ashamed of his behaviour but he hated remembering what he saw in 2012. After the New York invasion was over he'd managed to put it to the back of his mind, the moment feeling more like a dream than an actual memory. It had haunted him even more ever since he discovered it was her.

"The first time I saw you, I recognised you but I just didn't believe that you were the girl I saw because…"

"Because I died," Amelia supplied and Steve nodded his head, "but that can't be it. I did something else, something you don't like, something bad."

"Bad? No," Steve argued, looking down at her hand and reminding himself that despite what he saw Amelia was there with him _alive_ and well, or, as close to well as the ex-assassin could be after overexerting her powers. He began to stare far away, looking into his past and though a smile played on his lips at first, it disappeared the longer he dwelled on the memory, "terrifying, yes.

 _Captain America charged down the destroyed streets of New York, searching for anyone that might need his help. Loki's forces had invaded Earth through some sort of portal in the sky, and Cap could not dwell on them, if he did then he'd get too scared to move. He had to be courageous, people were relying on him, his team was relying on him._

 _He'd managed to get the assistance of the police which meant they'd been able to get most of the people from New York down into the subways and away from the battle that was looking more and more grim for the Avengers. As long as that portal remained open then the Chitauri would be able to repeatedly call down their forces, making it a very unfair fight for the six superheroes. The Hulk had thankfully come to join the fight which gave them a little bit more of an advantage though._

 _The soldier rounded a corner and found a group of aliens loitering, a family being cornered amongst rubble by the intruders. He jumped into action, throwing his shield at one of the aliens and knocking it down. Whilst the rest were distracted he charged forward, colliding his body with one of the aliens and grabbing his shield on his way down so that he could spin around and smash it against the faces of the chitauri. "Go," he ordered the family as he jumped on top of one of the aliens, slamming his fist repeatedly into their face until it laid still on the ground and he repeated his attacks on the rest, fists colliding with alien flesh._

 _He screamed out as he continued to hit, shield discarded, expelling his rage and frustration and momentarily losing his mind, knowing he was a safe distance away from everyone else to have the private moment. He continued to hit until he started to feel a pain in his fists, that was when he knew he'd gone too far._

 _Steve rolled off the alien monster, breathless, panicked. He didn't know what he was doing. He didn't know if they'd be able to win. He was absolutely terrified and it was exhausting keeping up a brave face when every bone in his body was telling him to run. He'd faced Hydra but they were easy to understand, they were just conceited humans with the wrong idea of justice. But the chitauri, they were literal monsters with weaponry and giant whale-like creatures which were destroying the city. Steve felt as small as he used to before becoming a super soldier, and he hated it._

 _The sound of feet crushing rubble interrupted his silence that wasn't really silence. He could hear the aliens roaring, and the sounds of explosions and shots, but they were at a distance which made him feel a little relaxed. Until he heard the footsteps._

 _His face rose slowly, first seeing dirty and bleeding feet that weren't protected by shoes, rising up to then spot a plain white hospital gown covered in dirt and torn in places, and then Steve finally looked to her face. It was a small girl with a shaved head, there was a trail of dried blood coming from her nose and ears and her olive skin was unusually pale. And yet, that wasn't the strangest thing about her. Steve was positive that he'd finally lost his mind as he looked into her black eyes, the entirety of her eyes consumed by the colour, and inside he saw entire galaxies twinkling back at him._

" _I know you," her voice came out like the wind, an echo to her words that had his bones rattling. "Or, you know me."_

" _I'm sorry ma'am, I've never met you before. Did you come from a hospital?" He stood up, managing to find his way back to reality from the depths in her eyes. He dusted off all the dirt from his bright blue suit, beginning to slowly step towards the strange girl in front of him._

 _She shook her head, "not me, no. You met the other me. The other… part. Yes. My other part. Do you know where I am?" The girl raised up her hand, examining the limb as though it was a foreign object to her, white began to dance off of her fingers, white like starlight._

 _Steve was sure that the woman was a mental patient, her actions were curious, and though her eyes were strange as well, they weren't cause enough for him to question her origin. He managed to convince himself that the white light on her fingers was steam or something, anything but magic. "You're in New York, but it's very dangerous here. You need to find a policeman, tell them what hospital you came from and they should be able to take care of you." He retrieved his shield that had been implanted in the chest of an alien, using his foot to keep the alien down so that he could pull out his shield, he tried his best to cover the scene from her. He needed to be careful around her, he didn't want to end up scaring her away as she clearly needed help._

 _When he tried to approach her again the woman took a step back, shaking her head as her eyebrows knitted together, "no, not me. My other part, it… it's crying out. It's trapped inside a machine somewhere, being forced to open that," she raised her finger up towards the hole in the sky, eyes widening and tears glistening in them. Steve followed where she was pointing, but he still didn't believe her, what he did believe was that the mental patient had seen the hole in the sky and formed some other kind of reasoning too it. He knew that the human mind could do amazing things in order to help people avoid the truth, and anything would be less terrifying than the reality that earth was being invaded by aliens. "It's in pain, I have to find it, I have to stop this pain."_

 _The girl brought her hand down to her chest where she bunched up a part of her dressing gown, her entire face scrunching up and for a moment the veins in her body seemed to darken, she was feeling pain too._

 _Steve decided he needed to approach her in a different way, they weren't making any progress with him trying to question her reality and so instead he pretended like what she was saying was true. "Your other part, is that a friend or a partner maybe? Most people are in the subway now, I can take you there if you want?"_

" _A partner… yes. And a friend. We are the same." Her eyes flashed up to his suddenly as more footsteps could be heard, they were much more hurried and there were a lot of them. Steve instantly raised his shield up and moved to stand closer to the girl, turning his body as he did to check behind him and his suspicions had been confirmed, chitauri were rushing over towards them, Steve was only able to count twenty before they'd completely circled the pair. He couldn't understand why so many had shown up in one spot, if he didn't know any better he'd say they were concentrating their forces momentarily on the girl, and all of a sudden he didn't know what he was supposed to be more scared of, the girl behind him or the aliens surrounding him. The aliens began to speak to one another in their language, not attacking, but keeping their eyes fixed on Steve and the girl behind him. "They can sense it in me, they're scared."_

" _You speak alien?" Steve asked, continuing to look around, trying to keep his eyes on all the aliens. His hands had started to shake and he hated it. He absolutely detested the fear he was feeling and he refused to let it control him._

" _I do not speak their language but I understand them," she replied, keeping her voice down to a whisper. Steve was becoming more and more frustrated with the stranger's words, wondering if she could actually ever say something that wasn't a contradiction to her own words. The girl released a gasp, swiftly stepping close enough to Steve that her chest was pressing against his back, "they're going to kill you so that they can get to me. They want to control my power."_

" _What power?"_

" _I have the powers of the cosmos," she replied easily, fingers stretching out and white enveloping them, moving up her hands like fire spreading through a forest, so bright that Steve could no longer ignore it. "I will not ask you to run and hide, I can sense the warrior in you. When I say go, attack the three in the front and leave the rest to me."_

" _No offence, ma'am, but I think it best you leave them to me." Steve wasn't trying to sound conceited, but from the looks of the girl, she didn't seem particularly strong._

 _The girl didn't dignify his statement with an answer, instead, she pushed him towards the three chitauri in front of him, except, he never felt her hand on his back, just a force pressing against his entire body and making him stumble into a fight. He tried to make use of the push, ramming into one of the chitauri and then swinging his shield towards the one on his left as he put up his arm and blocked an attack from the right. He managed to knock one of them out with a blow to the head using his shield, the one he'd initially rammed into decided to return the attack though, pushing him onto the ground and grabbing at his hands to try and keep him at bay. And then, all of a sudden, it stopped attacking._

 _It froze on top of Steve, arms raised and a cry that had been falling from its mouth turning into a screeching sound. The soldier watched on confused, hands still raised, ready for an attack but the monster was completely static. "What-" His question became useless as the monster on top of him turned to dust, a white flame burning at its skin as it fell apart into nothing, it's body becoming shining particles that floated upwards into the air, carried away by the wind._

 _Steve lifted himself up, turning around to face the girl and he saw her staring down the barrel of a chitauri weapon but she didn't seem at all concerned. The alien in front of her was as stationary as the one that had attacked him, and then it transformed into dust as well. First, the skin peeled off, and then the rest of its body was melted down, what was once it's body being carried by a breeze up towards the blue sky above. He stood, body turning repeatedly as he watched all the aliens around them turning into nothing._

" _Not nothing," the stranger muttered, as though she'd heard his thoughts, "they are becoming stardust, what they originally were to begin with."_

 _He hadn't noticed it but his mouth had fallen open, and as he stopped, facing the girl's direction, he found himself completely lost for words. Unable to wrap his mind around what he'd just seen. Unable to stop himself from feeling frightful of the girls destructive capabilities._

 _The girl abruptly fell to the floor, making him jump into action. He didn't reach her in time to stop her from harshly hitting the ground, but he did kindly lift her up into his arms so that the debris on the ground wasn't pressing into her back. He pressed his hand against her forehead, feeling heat radiating from her and he became concerned for her health, "I need to get you to the police so they can take you to a doctor, okay?"_

" _No," she tried to argue though there was no assertion in her tone, she'd somehow become breathless which worried him even more as her chest was inflating and deflating at a hurried pace. "I need… I need to find me." Again her words were confusing but he believed her more than he had before._

" _I promise I'll help you," he said, trying to soothe her, "once we get you taken care of, I promise I'll help you find your partner." He had his suspicions on what she was talking about, whilst he might not be a genius like Stark it was easy to guess that she was talking about the tesseract seen as that was what was creating the portal in the sky, but he'd definitely need more information before he confirmed that theory. If there was somehow a part of the Tesseract inside of her, then he assumed when she said that she knew him, she was talking about world war two when he fought with the Red Skull over the Tesseract. But the idea still seemed preposterous. It had become a very, very, strange day for Steve._

 _She didn't put up any more of a fight, she couldn't really. Instead, she allowed Steve to pick her up and begin carrying her towards the subway. He tried to be gentle, scared that any shock to her system would only make things worse. "Do you have a name?" He asked, his voice a low rumble that had her heart somehow swelling._

" _No," the stranger shook her head, "but I think I wanted one."_

" _Where did you come from?" No answer came from her and when he looked down it looked like she had fallen asleep, she was still breathing shallow breaths but as long as she was breathing Steve didn't feel too worried. His eyes remained on her face longer than he'd meant them too, appreciating the curve of her jaw and the freckles scattered across her face, like tiny constellations that he could dot together in a million different ways._

 _Their path remained surprisingly clear and on his way he managed to find a group of policemen standing behind their car doors, at first he felt relieved but then he noticed their panic and the way their eyes kept straying over to a building._

 _Somehow able to sense the worry, the girl's eyes opened again, falling onto all the police officers. "You can put me down," she said, already beginning to wiggle herself free from his arms. He nodded his head, going back to soldier mode as he approached the police officers, leaving the girl where he'd put her down._

" _What's wrong?" He asked the police, all of them turning to face the captain and a look of relief crossed his expression._

" _They've taken hostages," the officer rushed out his words, pointing towards the large building beside them that seemed to be some sort of a bank, "we don't have an official number, we think over thirty civilians."_

 _All of a sudden an explosion erupted inside the building, sending most of the officers and the Captain flying back as a fire raged inside the building, breaking through the windows. He watched from his spot on the floor as chitauri flew away from the wreckage, feeling his stomach drop at the realisation that he'd allowed a lot of defenceless people to just be killed. If only he'd gotten there earlier. He was meant to save everyone. He'd failed._

 _He helplessly stumbled back to his feet, ears ringing from the explosion but he pushed his way through it, beginning to run towards the burning building, hoping that perhaps he'd be able to get inside and save someone, anyone. But he wasn't thinking right, he was completely ignoring how much of a useless mission it was and how he'd end up dead as well if he charged into the building._

 _Just as he reached the end of the barricade created by police cars, Steve ran into an invisible wall. Immediately his eyes moved to the girl, finding her holding out a hand, white light playing around her fingers and casting a forcefield which was stopping him from getting any closer to the building. "Let me through!" He screamed at her, fist crashing against the wall._

 _She didn't seem at all affronted by his aggression, she closed her eyes and benignly shook her head, once she opened them again she cast a look over to Steve, an easy smile playing across her chapped lips. "This isn't you, Captain," the stranger cooed, "you need to compose yourself, there are a lot of people relying on you and I'm so sorry you have to carry that on your shoulders, I'm so sorry you're out of your own time, but it is the hand you've been dealt and I believe with all my heart that you can get through this pain."_

 _His shoulders fell defeated at her softly spoken words, tears reaching his eyes but he didn't let them pass. It felt like all the pain he'd been holding in had come up. He'd thought he'd be able to keep it down and hidden but after meeting the strange girl it was like her voice was a siren call to all the emotions he'd been keeping disguised._

" _You saved me long ago from the red man," she turned back to face the fiery building, beginning to walk towards it, a trail of blood being left in her wake, "and you will save her too. One day, you'll save her from the darkness. It won't be easy, but you'll do it. This is me repaying the favour."_

 _It finally dawned on him what exactly she was doing and he started throwing his fist against the forcefield once again, "no! Stop! You're too weak and we still need to find your partner! Don't go in there!"_

 _His pleas fell on deaf ears. The stranger did look back though, before walking into the collapsing building. "Steve Rogers." His name had never sounded so beautiful falling from someone's lips. "Your eyes, they're blue. A new kind of blue. They make me feel… calmer."_

 _And then she wandered into the building, all of Steve's fight going onto the forcefield but it was of no use. He couldn't do anything, he couldn't get to her, couldn't stop her from entering the death trap. He should have been able to do something. That's why he became a damn lab experiment, so he could save people. He had to save her._

 _He and all the (immensely confused) police officers watched as the flames inside the building seemed overcome by a white light, the flames becoming a sparkling dust much like how the chitauri Steve faced earlier had. The world itself seemed to suddenly calm as the dust flew from the building, like a thousand seed-fluffs from a dandelion, filling the sky. The forcefield was gone and he dreaded to think why._

 _Steve rushed over to the doors of the bank but before he could reach them the doors were being thrown open, a large group of citizens frantically running out from inside the building, screaming mad ramblings about how they'd been_ _ **dead**_ _, how they couldn't understand what had happened, how they were sure the chitauri killed them in an explosion and yet they'd all woken up alive without a single scar. None of them spoke of a girl in white though. He ran inside the building, pushing his way through the exiting crowd but when he reached the empty building she wasn't there, all that was left was the explosions destruction._

 _From the corner of the room he heard sobbing and he sped over, pushing a desk aside, hoping to find his strange girl but instead there was a different lady, a blonde girl that looked up at Captain America with wide, haunted eyes, her entire body shaking. "I saw it," she mumbled, the words tumbling out of her lips, as though she was speaking to herself, trying to confirm to herself that what she'd seen was real. "I saw an angel."_

"I told Tony about it after we finished defeating Loki but he couldn't find anything about the girl," Steve finished recounting his tale, hand grasping hers and thumb stroking the back of her palm.

Amelia looked down at her hands, the same hands that the girl in Steve's story had, the same hands that had possessed so much _power_. "I did all that?"

"Yeah," he answered, voice showing he was just as staggered as she was, "when I went into the building and saw all that destruction I knew that you didn't reverse anything, I think you actually brought all those people back to life. I thought maybe that meant you'd traded your life for there's. I…" he gulped, "I really thought you'd died. And I blame myself for it because I should have been able to do more. I keep thinking maybe I could have done something different. Maybe if I didn't convince myself that you'd died, I could have tried to find you, saved you from Pierce. I could have saved you then and there if I'd not been so weak." He turned to look at Amelia, finally looking her in the eyes, revealing his distraught emotions. "I'm so sor-"

Amelia kissed him. Leaning forward swiftly she bashed her lips messily on top of his, shutting him up. She kissed him because she didn't want him to feel guilty, the brunette did not blame him at all. She kissed him because he'd told her everything he knew, they were now equal again. She kissed him because she always wanted to kiss him. And she kissed him because whilst he'd been thinking about all the people she saved, she was thinking about all the chitauri she'd killed and Amelia needed to remember what good was, Steve was good, he made her feel good too.

When she pulled away a heavenly blush had covered both of their cheeks, both her skin and her insides feeling warm. "It's okay, you got to me eventually and you came at the perfect time." He smiled delightfully at her, not pulling away or yelling at her for the kiss, he actually seemed quite happy about it. Perhaps it might have been the wrong time, but Amelia couldn't really think of a better time to do, so she confessed her darkest secret to him. "I've been seeing Pierce. For a while."

Steve pulled away then, eyes bulging and eyebrows scrunching at her sudden confession. He didn't really know how to reply, his mouth opening and closing repeatedly as a multitude of questions surfaced his brain. "How long is a 'while'?" It was the easiest question, he decided.

"Since he died," Amelia looked up at him through her eyelashes, not able to stop herself from feeling ashamed. She shouldn't have kept it a secret, maybe if she hadn't then he would have helped her tackle the demon sooner. "But I don't see him anymore," she waved her hand around, trying to assure her soldier, "he's dead and so is AS09. Officially. I'm officially Amelia Stark."

He remained silent and confused for a moment and Amelia didn't push, she allowed him however much time he needed to take in the information. Still in a slight daze, he offered out his hand for her to shake, "well it's lovely to meet you, Amelia Stark." And after he shook her hand they began to _talk_. He asked questions. She asked questions. Even Wanda and Pietro got to ask questions, though theirs were more to do with the other Avengers and not the past Amelia and Steve shared.

* * *

 **A/N: OH MY GOD? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN? Amelia can bring people back to life? What does that mean for Pietro, is he going to live? A part of her is connected with the Tesseract, so if the stone was broken, would she die? And vice versa, if she dies, does the stone die? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN? Also, just so that there's no confusion, the 'me' she's talking about needing to find, is the tesseract.**

 **I'll legit answer any and all questions y'all have on it! So don't be afraid to ask :) Except for the questions I wrote above, basically anything to do with the plot of the story I can't answer cause spoilers.**

 **To thenightowl57, thank you! I hope you enjoyed it!**

 **To Sam0728, I'll be counting down the days until your return :(**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, thank you so much, I hope you enjoyed finding out more about her powers :)**

 **To .2018, glad you enjoyed it!**

 **And big ol' thank you to everyone that read the chapter!**


	40. Chapter Thirty-Eight

**CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT**

* * *

" _No, you're not a bad person… and I'm not a bad person. We're just people, and people sometimes do stupid things."_

― _**Francesca Zappia**_

* * *

It would have been much faster and easier for them to arrive at the tower if they had a quinjet, perhaps if they actually had told Clint to wait for them then they would have been able to stop Tony.

The moment they landed they sprinted off of the plane and into the Avengers tower. The twins had been told the plan, that before anything else, they'd try to talk to Tony, and Amelia was trusting them to obey the orders given. If they didn't then they'd be met with her wrath. And whilst Pietro didn't know much about her, excluding what Ultron had told him, Wanda had actually seen into the ex-assassin's mind and that was terrifying enough.

They headed straight to the lab, knowing that would be where Tony was and they arrived at a scene that wasn't surprising, though it was upsetting. "I'm gonna say this once," Steve said as they came into the view of the two scientists.

"How about 'nonce'?" Tony said, immediately going into defence mode. He knew that the soldier would try and stop him from bringing life to the android in the cradle, but Steve just didn't _understand_ , none of them did. Tony managed to use that as an excuse for what he was doing, going behind his teams back, possibly creating another murderbot. He was sure he'd do it right the second time around though. Ultron was just a test that went wrong.

"Shut it down!" Steve yelled, losing his patience with the billionaire, only able to see a man that hadn't learnt his lesson and not a man that was trying his damndest to save the world he lived in.

"Nope, not gonna happen," Tony argued

Amelia approached Steve's side, putting her hand on his bicep as a signal for him to calm down, then she stepped forward, hoping that perhaps her words would get through to her brother. "I know what you're trying to do but this isn't the way, look what happened with Ultron."

At the mention of his earlier mistake, Tony only became more bitter, especially because it was coming from his sister. "Okay, you don't get an opinion on this," he replied, pointing his finger at her.

"What?" She asked, confused.

"You're only saying that because you like Steve more than me," his answer came out petty but in his heart, Tony believed it to be true, just like how he believed that his next creation would be what he was hoping for, the thing to end all wars. "If you weren't being blinded by his baby blues then I think you'd understand better than anyone else what I'm doing here."

"I do understand," she urged, trying to get her message across but he just looked at her blankly, so caught up in his own web of lies that he'd convinced himself that they were gospel.

Steve stepped forward then, a pitying expression on his face, "she's the only one here fighting for your side, Tony," he revealed as he placed a comforting hand onto her back, "you might want to start rethinking who your enemies are."

"I'm starting to think I need to be more wary of those I consider friends," he rebutted, eyes turning to slits as he stared down the blond soldier, earning the same glare back from Steve.

The soldier had to remind himself that he'd agreed with Amelia that they'd try and talk it out first, but he'd clearly forgotten how vain Tony was and just how much the billionaire could ignore everyone else's thoughts and feelings for his own. "You don't know what you're doing," he told the billionaire through gritted teeth as Tony rounded his computers to get closer to them, doing so just in case they decided to try and attack the cradle.

"And you do?" Bruce asked, eyes seeing through Amelia and concentrating on the Maximoff twin, he aggressively pointed in her direction, "she's not in your head?"

Much to Amelia's surprise, Wanda began to walk out of the shadows, holding up her arms in an 'I come in peace' way. "I know you're angry-"

"Oh I'm way past angry," Bruce chuckled darkly, "I could choke the life out of you and never change a shade."

Even Amelia was surprised by his words, she'd always considered Bruce a shy, introverted, type of person but it was clear that there were more similarities to the Hulk in him that she had not noticed. She turned to face Wanda, wary that the twin might lash out, but the girl only looked guilty.

The brunette was still trying to get a read on her personality,. Now that they were on the same side Wanda didn't seem so bad. In fact, Amelia had noticed that Wanda was as shy and as introverted as Bruce, only really talking to her brother. Pietro was talkative and had filled most of the plane ride with his babblings whilst his sister had sat in the corner, simply smiling whenever her brother said something funny. It was strange how normal they'd acted, how kind. They'd even somehow managed to bond a little on the plane ride, discussing Strucker and his horrible experiments, Amelia sharing a few words with Wanda about the similarities in powers. That didn't mean she was protective of either of them though, so she remained silent despite Banner's cruel words to the young girl.

"Banner," Steve turned to the other scientist, a man he considered to be quite level headed, a man much more capable of seeing reason than Tony. "After everything that's happened-"

In his usual manner, Tony interrupted, "that's nothing compared to what's coming!"

"You don't know what's in there!" Wanda cried, pointing to the cradle and showing her fear clear to them all. She was the only one in that room who'd been able to see both sides, to understand Tony's fear but also know the destructive capabilities of what was being formed in the cradle.

Amelia turned her head around, noticing Pietro who was beginning to look bored of everyone yelling at each other. She was too. The brunette had hoped for them to be able to sort things out with just their words, but she'd been too blind to her own brother's self-delusions, it had become crystal clear that words wouldn't be enough. Pietro looked at her once he'd noticed her staring, and was surprised when he saw her nodding her head slightly, as though she knew exactly what he was thinking. Whilst Amelia hadn't mastered her telepathy at all, she'd gotten a good read on Pietro's personality so in ways she did know exactly what was going through his mind.

Not that he really needed her permission, he still took her nod as a sign to execute the plan that had formulated in his mind.

All anyone was able to see was a blue blur moving around the room, tugging out all the wires and pipes connected to the cradle, stopping it from finishing its job. He came to a halt near Bruce, a pipe still in his hand and a smirk on his face due to everyone's shocked stares, he'd never get tired of seeing that. "No, no. Go on. You were saying?"

Despite herself, Amelia smirked at his cockiness, though it dropped at the sound of a bullet piercing through the glass floor Pietro was standing on. In no time the glass had broken and he was laid on the floor below, wheezing and in pain, and under Clint Barton's foot. "What? You didn't see that coming?" The archer asked as Wanda ran forward to check on her brother.

Behind Tony one of the computers made a ringing sound, an alarm about the damage Pietro had done to the cradle, "I'm rerouting the upload," Tony said to Bruce, quickly returning to his work.

It was Steve's turn to jump into action, throwing his shield at the computers and trying to stop Tony from making another mistake. Once again her brother proved that he wouldn't be stopped so easily, calling forth the hand of his Iron Man suit and sending a repulsor beam at Cap, then pointing it towards Amelia, a desperate expression appearing on his face, "don't make me shoot you too."

"No one's making you do any of this," she replied, just as heartbroken as he was at the conundrum they were in. It wasn't supposed to be like this. They'd reunited, moved on from Amelia's past, their relationship was supposed to be stronger than this.

During their shared words, Bruce had moved over to Wanda and wrapped her up in his own arms. "Go ahead, piss me off," he dared, his hatred for the witch matched only by his hatred for the monster within him.

Wanda accepted the dare. Using her powers she managed to force his arms off of her and then she shoved him away, the man proving not to be that much of a challenge when in his human form.

Tony had called on more of his suit, just in time as Steve recovered and moved to attack Tony, hitting him on his armoured chest. Amelia raised her arms, ready to attack, but she didn't know who to hit, who to push away. Torn between the man she loved, and her brother. It felt silly to her, she'd known Steve for over a year and he was more family to her than Tony was, and yet, their blood relation had her holding back.

In the midst of their battle a loud noise was heard behind Amelia and she turned just in time to see Thor approaching, he didn't waste any time with niceties though, instead, he marched straight over to the cradle, ignoring Amelia as she called his name. The god jumped on top of the cradle and raised up his hammer, amalgamating electricity with his hammer and then bringing the lightning down on to the cradle, bringing life to whatever was inside of it.

At first, there was silence. Then there was an explosion from inside of the cradle and rising up from within was a humanoid body a multitude of red, green and yellow shades. They all watched it rise to its feet, waiting to see what the creature would do first. It looked around at them all, eyes staying on Wanda and Amelia for the longest amount of time before his head snapped to Thor, the man who'd given him life.

Amelia was wary because she knew a part of Ultron was inside of him, and that part showed its true colours as the creature charged at Thor, the god easily countering the move and throwing him to the side where he entered another part of the Avengers tower. The creature managed to catch itself in mid air, floating to a stop in front of the window, gaze taken by the man-made city before him whilst the Avengers, Maximoff twins and Amelia filtered into the room, approaching the android.

It had settled, that was clear, but Amelia didn't know if that meant the threat was completely gone so she had her hands still raised for an attack. Thor held his hand out to them, stopping them before they could attack the creature who had at first seemed hostile. They all simply observed, putting their trust in Thor's judgement.

The creature seemed hypnotised by the view in front of him. An entire city was before him, buildings sprinkled with lights and tiny people roaming the streets. Life. He was life too now. He calmed down, the serenity of night time encompassing his frantic heart with warmth.

He turned back to them all, understanding where he was and what he was now, not completely, but enough to know that the people before him weren't the villains. He dressed himself in clothes, knowing that it was what normal lifeforms did. "I'm sorry," he apologised politely, voice sounding much like Jarvis', "that was… odd." He nodded his head respectfully at Thor, "thank you." The creature had many reasons to be grateful to the god, Thor had given him life, stopped the others from attacking him whilst he found his bearings, and he'd also given him the idea of wearing a cape.

"Thor," Steve called to his friend, choosing to speak to him rather than the creature that he felt no trust towards, "you helped create this?"

"I've had a vision," he began to explain, "a whirlpool that sucks in all hope of life and at its centre is that." He raised a finger to direct everyone's attention to the yellow stone on the forehead of the creature.

"What, the gem?" Bruce asked.

"It's the mind stone. It's one of the six infinity stones, the greatest power in the universe, unparalleled in its destructive capabilities." He explained, his words causing a strange reaction in Amelia that had her wondering if perhaps the tesseract was also one of the infinity stones but she'd decided those questions were better left for another day when Thor hadn't just brought, what was initially Ultron's creation, to life.

All Steve heard was destruction, "then why would you bring it to-"

"Because Stark is right," Thor said, completely changing his tone from what he was saying two days ago whilst Tony's throat was in his hand.

"Oh," Bruce sounded, "it's definitely the end of times."

"The Avengers cannot defeat Ultron," Thor continued, ignoring Bruce's statement though Tony was sending him quite the glare.

"Not alone," Vision continued for the god.

Steve still didn't trust it though, still had a lot of questions and he wasn't the only one as Amelia was trying to get a read on the creature. It didn't seem as in pain as Ultron had when first born, or angry, the creature just seemed lost. "Why does your 'vision' sound like Jarvis?"

As the creature began to walk forward, examining the people around it and assessing them much like how they were assessing him, both Tony and Steve circled it. "We reconfigured Jarvis' matrix to create something new."

"I think I've had my fill of new."

"You think I'm a child of Ultron?" The creature easily guessed, turning to face the captain. Amelia noted that despite clearly being insulted the creature was completely calm, not the silent, dangerous, kind of calm (the type she was very familiar with) but a serene, kind, sort of calm.

"You're not?" Steve raised an inquisitive eyebrow, cocking his head.

"I'm not Ultron," it repled, "I'm not Jarvis. I am…. I am."

Wanda carefully stepped towards the creature, her brother holding onto her arm protectively as she moved closer, "I looked in your head and saw annihilation."

"Look again," it was a request, not a demand. The creature wanted to prove himself to them, wanted to prove that he was not a monster they were painting. Amelia knew that same feeling.

She'd hoped that the twin would get a chance to prove him right to everyone but Clint scoffed at the notion. "Yeah, her seal of approval means jack to me," he chided, squashing down Amelia's hopes.

Thor stepped forward, quickly seeing the tension appearing again and forcing it away. He pointed to the twins, "their powers, the horrors in our heads, Ultron himself, they all came from the mind stone, and they're nothing compared to what it can unleash. But with it on our side…"

"Is it?" Steve asked Thor, turning to the creature that he'd started to actually recognise as a life, "are you? On our side?"

Everyone looked to him in trepidation of his answer, and though he knew what he should say, the creature instead went with an honest answer. "I don't think it's that simple," the confusion appeared once again in his tone and on his face, curdling any distrust Amelia had and transforming it to sympathy. It seemed she'd grown quite a soft spot for anyone that reminded her of her old self, anyone that was broken or alone or scared.

Clint didn't share that same point of view though, "well it better get real simple real soon."

"I am on the side of life," he eventually answered, "Ultron isn't, he will end it all."

At the realisation that the creature had some ideas on Ultron's plan she stepped forward, hope rising in her that perhaps they really did stand a chance over the killer-bot, "do you know where he is?"

"Sokovia," Clint answered instead, "it's where he's got Nat."

"He's waiting for you," Vision revealed as he began to walk closer towards Amelia, eyes fixed on her as he approached. He came to a stop mere centimetres away from her, analytical eyes fixated on her.

"What?" She questioned uncomfortable, eyes automatically flicking over to Steve who had already taken a few steps nearer to them, ready to stop the creature in case it did anything to her. Not that he'd get the chance to, white was already dancing across her fingers, starlight ready to push the creature away if necessary.

He cocked his head to the side, "your powers, they are similar to mine." He then turned to look at the twins, "yours too." She didn't understand what he meant until he looked at the twins, then the dots connected in her head, he wasn't talking about abilities, but rather, origin.

Tony seemed to make that same connection too, stepping closer with confusion evident on his face, "wait a minute, what? I understand why you'd say that to the twins, they're powers came from the stone on your forehead. But hers didn't."

"No," he agreed, eyes falling back to hers. It was clear from her expression that she understood what he was talking about but she was reluctant to say it in front of everyone else, "her powers came from another gem."

"The tesseract was a stone?" Tony asked Thor.

The god nodded, a watchful gaze on the small brunette as he tried to wrap his head around the information that had just been revealed to him. Amelia hated that she saw a little bit of fear burning within his gaze. "It is the space stone."

With a smirk she looked at Steve, "'power of the cosmos'," she reminded him, mocking confidence and hiding behind it. Ever since their talk on the plane Amelia had only become more terrified, and equally amazed, by the powers she possessed. It was hard to believe that she could do so much when all she'd been taught was her telekinesis, led to believe that they were the only ability which Hydra had given her. It made her wonder what else they were lying about. Perhaps they didn't even give her the telekinesis, maybe she was born with it. That idea seemed a bit more preposterous though, she'd never heard of someone being born with powers. Except for Thor, but he was a god.

"They didn't know," the creature stated, an apologetic tone into his voice.

Amelia shrugged, maintaining her smile, "I didn't really know either so it's not a big deal." Though it may have seemed like she'd warmed up to the creature, it was only a front, inside the black depths of her eyes, there was still caution.

"If we're wrong about you," Bruce stepped up again, noticing how the air was beginning to change from hostile and wanting to maintain it a little while longer just so that he could be sure of the creature's intentions. "If you're the monster that Ultron made you to be…" He wasn't Tony, though Bruce may have helped, he was still extremely wary of the results of his experiment and concerned that Thor's intrusion could have led to the worst case scenario.

"What will you do?" He asked, looking at the man smaller than him with genuine fear in his eyes. "I dont want to kill Ultron," he confessed to them, once again choosing to be honest which was continuing to earn him points with Amelia, "he's unique, and he's in pain. But that pain will roll over the earth, so he must be destroyed. Every form he's built, every trace of his presence on the net, we have to act now. And not one of us can do it without the others." He looked them all in the eyes as he spoke, turning to face each person in the room, "maybe I am a monster. I don't think I'd know if I were one. I'm not what you are, and now what you intended. So there may be no way to make you trust me. But we need to go."

The man, the Vision, took a hold of Thor's hammer and lifted it up to hand it back to its rightful owner. Instantaneously earning the trust of everyone in the room, maybe not all of it, but enough that they'd head into battle with him because they all knew the importance of the hammer. It had decided that Vision was worthy.

Thor looked at the hammer in bafflement, slowly taking it from Vision's grasp, mouth slightly agape. Noticing the stares of everyone in the room he began to cough awkwardly, "right," he said, trying to move on from the moment, "well done," he congratulated Stark, pressing his hand down on to his shoulder and patting it.

"Three minutes," Steve decided, following Thor's lead and jumping back onto the mission, "get what you need."

"Amelia," Thor greeted as he wandered over to the girl, speaking lowly as he approached her, "can I talk to you for a minute?" She had no doubt that he wanted to discuss with her about the infinity stones and it was a conversation the brunette wanted to partake in, she wanted to know more about her abilities.

Nothing could stop her from having that very important conversation, nothing but her brother who called for her on his way back to the lab. She looked at her brother and he signalled her with his hand to follow him. Guiltily, she looked back to Thor, "one second," she signalled with her hand, raising up one finger before rushing off to her brother.

If it hadn't of been for the guilt weighing down on her shoulders then she would have stayed. The moment she reached Tony's side apologies spewed from her mouth but he raised up a hand and waved her off. "Don't worry about it."

"But Tony, I swear I get where you were coming from and I'm really not on Steve's side, I'm not on anyone's side, I-"

"I said don't worry about it," Tony repeated, reinforcing his sentiment as they reached his lab again. He continued to lead her into another room where he kept all of his iron man suits, stopping and gesturing to the wall to get her to look at it, rather than her looking at him all puppy-eyed and guilty.

When she turned to face whatever he was pointing at, her mouth instantly dropped open. A reaction that had Tony grinning ear to ear. In front of them was the suit Tony had designed earlier only in navy. Around the wrist new bracelets had been added which she looked at confused, "I don't know much about your powers but me and Jarvis were analysing your fighting style after the fight in Sokovia, it looks like you're using some form of energy and wasting a lot of it, these bracelets should help you store all that you're wasting so that you can reuse it, assuming that the energy is similar to electricity. If not I can do more research and fix it up some more." He shrugged his shoulders, acting like it wasn't a big deal whilst Amelia was struggling to breathe and stop tears from falling out of her eyes.

"Tony," she didn't have enough words but he heard loud and clear the gratefulness in her tone.

Again, he raised his shoulders up, "I know, I know, I'm brilliant. But you really don't need to thank me, you're an Avenger and an Avenger needs a suit."

"I'm an Avenger?"

Her brother finally looked her in the eyes, "of course you are," he answered, confident. The billionaire didn't fancy an emotional moment though, not after everything that had happened and so though it hurt him to do so, he pulled away, "I'll let you get changed," he excused.

Of course he still loved his sister, but there was a seed of doubt sprouting in his belly on who she loved. He tried to understand her side, she'd only just met him, only just learnt about his existence. Whilst Tony had a lifetime of knowing his sister and loving her, grieving her, it was understandable that he'd feel more for her than she did him. That information didn't stop the betrayal from feeling anymore painful though.

Poisonous thoughts riddled the billionaire so he tried to busy himself, seen as Jarvis' consciousness now belonged to Vision he had to use a different AI he'd created during his spare time. Once that was done he returned to the floor that Steve was on, joining in on the planning session he was having with Bruce, Thor busy talking with Vision.

The planning took a turn as things became more real for the group, "there's no way we all get through this. If even one tin soldier is left standing, we've lost." He hated to be the bearer of bad news but he needed to be frank with the team, "it's gonna be blood on the floor."

Steve looked up at Tony from his perch on the couch, "I got no plans tomorrow night," he replied, trying to encourage his friend. From behind Bruce entered Amelia, dressed in her new suit. Despite Tony being there, there was nothing Steve could do to fight off the smile that blossomed on his face at the sight of her jogging towards them, a giddiness clear in her. "The night that after that though…" he didn't finish his sentence as Amelia finally approached the team.

"Hey, nice suit," Bruce complimented in greeting, admiring the fighting gear he'd helped create, "how are the bracelets?" She lifted up her arm and showed that they were already glowing with energy, she hadn't actually done anything with the energy but apparently, her body was naturally radiating it anyway.

"I'm ready for this fight," she announced confidently, hands falling down to settle on her hips. If she had a belt she would probably start mimicking the way Steve stood.

"Yeah well, I get first crack at the big guy," Tony demanded, a grimace still playing on his lips, "Iron Man's the one he's waiting for."

"That's true," Vision said as he passed by them, "he hates you the most."

Tony's gaze turned on to Vision who continued to walk away, baffled at his gall. Amelia hid her giggle and patted his arm in mock comfort. After that, the three minutes were up and they all boarded the quinjet, setting off on their journey to Sokovia, into battle.

On their journey Steve did his duty as the leader, telling them what their mission was, "Ultron knows we're coming. Odds are we'll be riding into heavy fire, and that's what we signed up for. But the people of Sokovia, they didn't, so our priority is getting them out."

He was going to finish there but Amelia nudged his side, nodding towards the Maximoff twins that looked fearful. This was something far beyond what they were used to, they may have been affected by wars but they weren't soldiers like everyone else, they were just kids. And whilst Amelia seemed to be the only one noticing the frightful fears they kept sending to one another, she didn't have the people skills to comfort them. Steve, however, did.

"All they want is to live their lives in peace, and that's not going to happen today," Steve continued after understanding what Amelia was pushing him to do, "but we can do our best to protect them. And we can get the job done, and find out what Ultron's been building. We find Romanoff, and we clear the field. Keep the fight between us. Ultron thinks we're monsters and we're what's wrong with the world. This isn't just about beating him. It about whether he's right."

That was enough motivation for them all. Once he finished speaking she held his hand, letting him know that she thought he'd done a good job. They remained like that for the rest of the trip, everyone taking the space and time that they needed to steel their nerves.

Once they landed in Sokovia everyone went to do their job of ridding the country of its citizens, Steve and Amelia were the last ones left on the ship as Steve tugged her back before she could exit the quinjet.

The next thing she knew, he had slammed his lips to hers and nearly knocked all the wind from her lungs. It was passionate, a kiss to end all kisses, a 'just in case we don't make it' kiss. She hardly had a moment to react as he pressed his tongue at the seam of her lips and, at Amelia's grant of access, delved inside her mouth. Perhaps it was a little sloppy, but it was desperate, they were desperate. It was a year's worth of denying their love and always pulling away. When they broke apart for air, surprisingly, it was Amelia who was flustered.

"Well then," she huffed through her breathlessness, black eyes alight and twinkling as she stared up at Steve, still in his arms and pressed against his chest, "I hope there's more where that came from."

Steve smirked and it looked glorious on his chiselled face, so alluring Amelia was tempted to pull him back to her lips, "not until after our date," he said.

"Promises, promises," she mused coyly as she began to unravel herself from his arms. They didn't let each other's hands go until they had to part, and even then they paused for a moment, giving a supportive squeeze to their partner's hands.

As they'd planned on the quinjet, Amelia joined forces with Wanda once again, both agreeing that their powers were much better when put together. Their job was to control the minds of the citizens and get them to leave their homes, and whilst Amelia was barely able to use her telepathic abilities, Wanda was extremely talented in that department. So though Amelia couldn't be useful with mind control, she could help give Wanda some of her power so it reached even more people.

Amelia joined the witch with a dazed smile on her face, instantly moving to hold her hand and give her some of her power. Whilst Wanda followed her lead and started reaching for the citizen's minds, her eyes kept curiously peeking towards the brunette and eventually she couldn't help but vocalise the question in her head. "You and the Captain, are you dating?"

"I suppose we are, yes."

Her good mood felt infinite, unbreakable. And it stayed that way as they managed to rid their quadrant of all its citizens. Things actually seemed to be going quite well until robots started popping out of the ground like daisies.

* * *

 **A/N: A lil' Mulan reference for you at the end there because I can. I'm onto part three btw! I've written the first two chapters and it's already looking really promising, chock full of stuff that will make you hate me :)**

 **To .2018, dating, yes, actually going _on_ a date... that's gonna take them a little bit more time I'm afraid**

 **To Pitspee, ohmygod I'm so glad you're excited! I promise part three won't be too long and we'll get to Civil War soon, there's just some stuff I need to set up. And Amelia's role in IW is going to be interesting, to say the least. I'm seeing the movie again tomorrow and this time when I watch it I'm going to be thinking up moments for Amelia, whilst also crying probably. I've already got a pretty good idea because the direction I wanted to go with this project fits in perfectly with what occurred in Infinity War. But yus, thank you for the reviews!**

 **To Guest, not more powerful, no. I'd say they were pretty much equal, and I honestly have no idea who'd win a fight between them. Wanda is already hella powerful and Amelia's gift is quite similar to Wanda's, except Amelia's power is cosmic energy manipulation. I believe Wanda's power in the MCU is just energy manipulation, so ya can see where the similarities are lol.**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, thank yous!**

 **To LieuDrake, S A M E**

 **To rosequartz121, thank you bb**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, I'm a couple chapters ahead and I do a lot of editing before I publish (I say a lot, I read through it and then put it through this grammar check thing I have to make sure there are no kinks, I'm sure there are still kinks here and there tho) but thanks for all the compliments, they motivated me to finish a chapter which literally has taken me from 9 this morning to 11 at night to finish (I was watching Netflix on the side, lets all just blame Netflix)!**

 **And a moderately sized thank you to everyone that read the chapter!**


	41. Chapter Thirty-Nine

**CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE**

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" _Whatever makes you feel the sun from the inside out, chase that."_

― _**Gemma Troy**_

* * *

She began to work on the robots coming their way, using her powers to crush the robots or tear them in half. There were a lot though and she could only take care of one at a time and the amount just seemed to keep growing.

The brunette looked over to the Maximoff twin, wondering why she was the only one fighting off the oncoming storm of robots, and she found the girl wide eyed with her mouth open slightly, gaze apprehensive towards the approaching iron monsters. It was then she realised just how much of a child Wanda truly was. Though they might have only been a few years apart, Amelia had grown up prepared for a war, in fact, she'd grown up for the sole purpose of war. Amelia looked at her with pity and then turned back to the robots, having to throw a few back that had reached some of the citizens. "Protect the people!" Amelia ordered Wanda, stepping closer into the fray so that she became their prime target.

Ten of the robots surrounded her and managed to bring her down, one robot managing to slip behind her and fire repulsors at her back. They'd made it past the first line of defence though she recovered as fast as she could, trying to pull back all the robots which had managed to slip past.

Wanda was doing what Amelia had demanded. She'd shoved a few civilians back and created a forcefield with her powers to protect both herself and the citizens, giving them enough time to run away. But where Amelia failed, Wanda exceeded, and where Wanda failed, it seemed, Amelia exceeded. The youngers forcefield much weaker than that of her elders. It didn't take much to bring down the witch's forcefield and throw her down to the floor. Amelia immediately created her own forcefield that filled up the space of the road, liking Wanda's idea of using the shield to stop their enemies reaching the retreating civilians.

"Recover quickly," she advised, "now is not the time for lounging about." Wanda looked at her with spite in her eyes but she once again obeyed.

Whilst Amelia had actually wanted to help her, she didn't know of any supportive vocabulary so she just tried to get the frightened girl to keep going. That's what she always did, even when she was scared or felt like fighting was pointless, she kept going. Her words still encouraged Wanda, even if it wasn't in a positive way.

Maximoff joined Amelia's side and raised up her hands, spreading out her red waves of energy and tearing through all approaching enemies. She wanted to prove herself to the brunette, wanted to show that she could be just as brave as her.

In a lot of ways Wanda admired her. Despite what Ultron had told them, that Amelia was the worst kind of monster among the Avengers, all Wanda had seen in her mind was that Amelia wanted peace and love, not blood. Amelia didn't take pleasure from her past, Wanda had seen quite clearly that Amelia was haunted by her past more than anything else and she admired Amelia because despite being haunted by a troubled past and overwhelming powers (much like her) she portrayed only strength and endurance. That's what Wanda wanted to be like, she wanted to be strong.

Amelia looked behind herself and saw that the civilians had gotten far enough away so she dropped down her shield and began to assist Wanda in taking down all the robots. All of a sudden though a crack began to form over the ground, the bridge splitting into two halves. Both of the girls stopped, shocked, staring at the part of the land that seemed to be getting further and further away.

Because the bridge they were on had lost its scaffolding, it began to crumble apart. Seeing that the floor beneath them was about to fall down as well, Amelia pushed Wanda aside, not acting fast enough to get herself to safety. The Maximoff let out a scream of surprise, rushing over to the edge to make sure that Amelia had landed okay, worried she might have ended up underneath rocks or abandoned on the cracked floor with broken bones. What she didn't expect was the fellow psychic to fly upwards and above her, surrounded by white, like some sort of angel.

"You can fly?" Wanda asked as she landed.

"You can't?" Amelia questioned back, liking the surprise on Wanda's face as it wasn't often that people showed their surprise at her abilities anymore. Trying to act cool in front of the younger psychic, she tossed out her hand and forced a multitude of robots to crash down onto the ground, body parts breaking from the impact alone, and then she sashayed forward into the city.

"Do you see?" Ultron's voice emitted from his metal soldiers, causing both Amelia and Wanda to pause and look up into the iron faces, their glares fixed on each one as Ultron momentarily took over, "the beauty of it? The inevitability. You rise, only to fall. You, Avengers, you are my meteor."

Amelia noticed the way Wanda's hands had begun to shake, the reality of what she'd taken part in creating finally hitting her. That was something Amelia knew well. She'd never be able to forget the moment she realised what she'd been doing by following Pierce's orders, the chaos and pain she'd caused. Amelia could only think of one thing to do to help Wanda, the same thing she'd always do when Steve would get upset, she reached out and took the girls hand into her own. Amelia didn't look at her, didn't make a big deal out of the action, she simply gave a supportive squeeze and continued to stare at the robots floating about with red eyes.

"My swift and terrible sword and the earth will crack with the weight of your failure," Ultron continued, "purge me from your computers, turn my own flesh against me." From beside them, Hawk-eye appeared, shooting an arrow at the red-eyed robot and it crumbled to the ground, only for another one to take over its place and continue telling them all about his evil plan. "It means nothing. When the dust settles, the only thing living in this world will be metal."

Hawk-eye and Amelia connected eyes for a moment and with her head she signalled towards the younger Maximoff, hoping that Clint (a father, someone way more equipped to support Wanda than Amelia was) would understand what she meant and take care of the Maximoff twin whilst she ran off to execute some violence. He nodded his head and Amelia smiled gratefully, pulling the younger brunette with her as she made her way over to Clint.

She dropped Wanda off at the car Clint was positioned by and with that, Amelia began to sprint off, not looking behind herself to see the frightened gaze Wanda was casting in her direction, instead, guiding herself deeper into the city so that she could begin to fight off any robots threatening civilians which had been left on the floating rock. "Go!" She found herself repeatedly yelling as she tore her energy through multiple robots in the sky, constantly moving around so that she didn't get hit by any of their repulsors.

She thought she'd actually managed to clear the street of all it's civilians until she saw the form of someone on the ground, half their body pinned beneath a rock. Amelia ran over to their form, blocking all robots as best could whilst rushing to the person's side and once she reached it, she created a forcefield around them so that the robot's shots didn't harm her or the injured civilian. "Hey," she greeted as she reached their side, hands splaying out over the huge piece of building on top of him and white beginning to surround it, "I got you."

It began to raise up slowly and that's when things got a lot more complicated, a horrible sound of blood squelching between skin and iron could be heard for only a split second before it was covered by screams, "no, no! Stop! No! Stop!"

Amelia stopped raising it up, wide eyed, "Okay, okay, I'll stop, I've stopped." Keeping one hand raised so that the rubble didn't go back down or go any higher, she used her other to grab a hold of the boy's hand. Before Wanda, she'd always believed that physical affection was a comfort mostly for her and Steve, but now she was beginning to believe it comforted everyone else as well. "I'm just going to see the damage, okay, I'm not going to move it." She wasn't sure why she was telling the boy what she was going to do, perhaps it was because she felt just as panicked as he did.

Bending down she looked beneath the rock, sick instantly rising up to the back of her throat that she needed to swallow down as to not panic the boy. She counted seven pipes in total, all of which had gone through his body.

He wasn't going to make it, and she didn't know how to tell him that.

Steve wasn't there, he should have been there. Hell, even Tony would have been a better option than her, he'd know what to say, how to deal with the person, how to help them even though it seemed unlikely for them to survive. She'd already technically done more damage by lifting up the building as before the pipes were stopping any blood from exiting his body whereas now it was flowing freely. It was only a matter of time.

The boy was screaming through his teeth, body shaking though she wasn't sure if he was even able to feel it anymore.

"Does it hurt?" She asked, her tone of voice unusually gentle. He couldn't respond, instead, he managed to nod his head, only slightly. Amelia pursed her lips, trying to think of what to do, of what she could actually do. A part of her, a terrible part, thought that maybe it would be for the best if she just left him. But then she thought of Steve, and what he'd do. He wouldn't want anyone to die alone.

Amelia shuffled around, bringing her hands to the sides of his head and placing it on top of her lap, keeping his head in her hands, she tried to reach into his mind. She wasn't the best with her telepathic abilities but she hoped to perhaps take away some of his pain or maybe numb a certain body part. She stopped her attempts momentarily when she felt an excruciating pain in her belly. That was the price, apparently. In order to take away his pain, she'd have to place it in herself.

At first, the thought occurred again, that she should just give up and leave him. But if it were Steve or Tony, she would never do that and she'd never want someone to do that to her. And in her mind that's what made a good person, treating others as she would prefer to be treated.

Gritting her teeth, she inhaled a long and deep breath of oxygen, steeling her nerves. Then, like driving a knife through all her own skin, she took away all of his pain. If she did it slowly then she would have just changed her mind again, she had to take his pain quickly. She screamed whilst he gasped, the sensation of all pain and feeling leaving his body such a relief. His dark eyes looked up at her, finally able to see her without the pain shrouding his body, finally able to see the surrounding veil of iridescent starlight that covered him.

"Thank you," he mumbled, a tiredness seeping through his body like a warm blanket.

"No problem," she said, nostrils flaring but she tried to keep it hidden from him. Amelia didn't want the last thing for the man to see, to be a screaming woman in pain, he needed to see a friendly face. "What's your name?"

"Um…" It was hard for him to think, his eyes repeatedly shutting and opening again as he fought off the weariness, "Charlie Spencer."

"Charlie? I like that name, I don't think I've heard it before," she mused, finally opening her eyes and finding that his eye colour was similar to hers, "I might have heard a dog with that name before, actually."

A quick burst of air past his lips, an attempt at a chuckle, "yeah, I always complained to my mama about my name as a kid, she said it was a respectable name though. My mama… She called me this morning and I didn't answer the phone," tears began to slip down the side of his face, "I should have answered the phone and told her I love her."

"She knows," Amelia tried to soothe, in her heart she felt an ache of her own towards the parents she never got to meet. "I'm sure she does."

"Miriam Spencer, that's her name. Do you think you could find her after all of this? Tell her that I love her?"

Amelia's mouth dropped open slightly as she stared at the boys face, she hadn't realised that he knew he was dying. Whilst she'd been around a lot of dying people, and seen plenty of reactions, she could only remember perhaps two people that hadn't begged or mourned moments before their death. Instead, he was thinking about his mother and asking _her_ to try and find the woman. It shouldn't have been, Amelia knew that much, she was a weapon, not medicine. But she was doing the best she could for the perplexing boy with extraordinary courage.

"Yeah," she gulped, thumb beginning to caress the boy's cheek in a sort of soothing motion as she prayed for words to come to her mind that would help her help him.

"Promise?"

"I promise." And Amelia never backed down from her promises.

"Thank you," Charles released a relieved sigh and then he looked up to the white veil above him, watching it move around like water, "this is beautiful."

And then he closed his eyes, and things became silent. Amelia becoming just a girl, holding a boy in his last few moments. Another first, and not particularly something she'd ever want to relive again, but the memory of that moment would stay with her forever.

She knew that he was gone when the pain left her.

Amelia stayed in that bubble for another minute, wasting her powers but not caring as she tried to piece her heart back together and internally pay her respects to the boy who had so bravely slipped into the afterlife.

Slowly, she stood back up, body feeling numb and expression empty. And then, she dropped her forcefield and she _destroyed_. Not for her own pleasure, not to get some sort of reward. She did it to save those who couldn't defend themselves.

"Hello, Experiment AS09," the closest robot greeted, Ultron's essence taking over the robot for a moment and causing the eyes of it to get red.

"You're going to pay for what you've done today," Amelia responded with barely refrained anger seeping into her words like acid, "killing all these lives, and for what? You've just killed human beings, lives that should not have ended today. Fathers, mothers, daughters and sons. All for your own twisted view of justice."

"At least I'm actually doing this for a good cause," Ultron argued back, completely serene compared to Amelia who had gone red-faced with rage, pushing out her hand and then squashing her open palm into a fist, the metal frame that made up Ultron's body being crushed easily. It wasn't long until another body for Ultron's voice to speak through arrived though.

"What did you kill for before?" Again she discarded of his body, incapable fo finding meaning in words when all she wanted to do was seek revenge for Charlie Spencer, a life that should not have been taken that day, among many others.

Another robot joined her side, metal hand reaching out and taking hers, stopping her from using her powers momentarily. "I always said you were the worst of the Avengers, a wolf who has managed to convince herself that she is just a sheep." Her eyes turned to slits and she screamed out, white energy shooting from every pore of her body and eradicating Ultron's body.

Breathlessly she fell to the floor, regretting her decision to just push out as much power as she could, needing Ultron to leave her as well as his words.

Sweat dripped from her nose onto the dust-covered Sokovian street, the ground turning a darker shade, almost black. Eventually, she looked back up, feeling safe in the silence that surrounded her but she was met with a small army of Ultron's toy soldiers, the one closest to her possessing red eyes.

"When all you know is fire, that means you're destined to watch the world burn. And that, is why you, in particular, have to die."

She had been sick of his words the first time he'd spoken, now Amelia was simply angry. Her recent revelation had her possessing no doubts, her belief in herself making her invulnerable to Ultron's snake-skinned words. Experiment AS09 had been relieved of her duties, making room for Amelia Stark to shine and be free of her past darkness. This was Amelia Stark shining.

She rose up from the ground, dizziness gone and bracelets shining from all the energy they'd been able to absorb within them. Beneath her feet, the ground began to shake and rise.

Using the rock that had once been planted into Charlie body she broke it apart, never even having to lift a finger. The broken pieces then flew through the air, a hail of bullets passing through each individual robot until they were nothing but extra bits of rubble on the ground.

Ultron was silence, and Amelia was able to have her own momentary piece.

She moved Charlie body into a building where she hoped it would stay safe, Amelia never actually touched the body, far too afraid that she'd tarnish it somehow. Instead, she used her powers, surrounding Charlie in a veil of white that carried him into a hidden corner of a building. She promised herself that she'd go back for it when it was all over.

And then she moved on, because she had to.

She couldn't dwell on the deaths because even if they weren't by her hands, they still hurt. Amelia would have probably grown to detest all emotions at that point if she didn't know just how beautiful love felt and at least, in the wake of all the surrounding destruction, she'd be able to pass onto Miriam Spencer just how much her son loved her.

She rounded the corner of a street and found more robots but thankfully no civilians, Amelia wasn't sure how many more times she'd be able to do what she'd just done for Charlie. Though, surprisingly, her nose still had yet to bleed which she supposed was due to Stark's technology around her wrists.

"Cap, you've got incoming," Tony said into the comms, making Amelia worry slightly but she remembered that Steve was a super soldier, she needed to put faith in his resilience or else she wouldn't be able to get through the battle. It had been difficult splitting in the first place, both of them far too used to fighting at each other's side after the past year, but it was a necessary evil.

Steve was having to do the same lending of faith on his end as well, every time he heard a sound of struggling coming from the comms that sounded even vaguely feminine he'd instantly feel his heart pounding against his rib cage, distracting him slightly. He repeatedly had to remind himself that Amelia was trained more than even he was when it came to fighting and self-defence, plus she had her powers and a brain as smart as she was powerful, _she'd be okay_.

"Incoming already came in," Steve said wheezingly into the comms.

"You okay?" Amelia quickly asked, twisting her body around quickly to narrowly miss a repulsor beam, "I can come give you back up if you need it."

"I'm fine, what about you?" he curtly replied, the background noise making it clear to Amelia that he was a bit busy in a fight to give her a full report on all his injuries and bruises, that would just have to come later which she didn't really mind, the idea of kissing his wounds all better bringing a smile to play on her lips despite being in the middle of a fight.

"What do you think?" She questioned, pushing a tone of bravery to hide the turmoil that still gurgled in the pit of her belly after her encounter with Charlie and Ultron.

Though she couldn't see it, she could practically hear the smile in his voice after hearing her response. "Tony, you worry about bringing the city back down safely. The rest of us have one job: tear these things apart. You get hurt, hurt them back. You get killed, walk it off."

Amelia smirked at his orders, that was another Steve which she adored. Captain Steve, he was brave and smart and the way he gave orders was so dominant which for some reason made the brunette's heart palpitate. At first, she'd been worried about it but after a year of enduring the skipping, she'd just learnt to enjoy the feeling that came with it.

At that moment her heart was thriving in the battle as adrenaline pumped through her veins like the best kind of drug. Dancing among the robots, she tore off limbs and crushed their iron bodies like they were made of paper. All of AS09's training and skills coming out and shining as a beacon of hope for any person that found themselves in harm's way.

It felt great, being able to show that side of her without having to fear it. In the environment that she was in, her destructive capabilities were more than welcome.

But the more she kicked ass, the more crowded she became as Ultron threw more and more of his forces down onto her. From the corner of her eye she saw Clint and Wanda, and for a split second she had hoped for reinforcements but they were being surrounded just as much as she was and being forced into a building, an explosion throwing them through a window.

"Okay," she heaved through breathlessness, talking to herself as she looked down at the bracelets which were shining from all the white energy collected in them, "you better work."

Amelia raised her hands up to the sky, fingers dancing as the light began to leak from her bracelets up into the air, transforming into multiple shards. It wasn't like before, she didn't feel like she'd taken from her own body and worn herself out more than necessary, instead she was pulling the excess energy from the bracelets.

She then proceeded to throw her arms around, using the same motions she'd do when slashing at someone with a knife or stabbing them, only wider, and the shards thankfully followed, most reaching the heads of the killer bots and causing them to shut down as the starlight burned through their wires.

"Hey, look at me." In the comms she could hear Clint speaking to Wanda, doing what Amelia had hoped he would and trying to calm her down and get her focused on the mission at hand. "It's your fault, it's everyone's fault, who cares. Are you up for this? Are you. Look, I just need to know, cause the city is flying. Okay, look, the city is _flying_ , we're fighting an army of robots, and I have a bow and arrow. None of this makes sense. But I'm going back out there because it's my job. Okay? And I can't do my job and babysit, neither can Amelia, and neither can the rest of the Avengers. It doesn't matter what you did, or what you were. If you go out there, you fight, and you fight to kill. Stay in here, you're good. I'll send your brother to come find you, but if you step out that door, you are an Avenger."

Amelia's attention was raised to the door which she saw opening, but it was only Clint that exited, causing a frown to play on her lips as she thought about Charlie and all the other people in the world who needed defending, who might die if someone like Wanda decided even though she could fight, that she didn't want to. Perhaps it was because of all the time she'd spent with Steve, but Amelia was beginning to feel a sense of duty towards normal humans, she had the ability to protect them and if she ever chose to stand aside then it would be on her if they died.

She sighed, "come on," her voice was at a whisper as she continued to stare at the door, hopeful, knowing full well that Wanda could hear her. "I know that this is scary Wanda, but you can do it. Someone really smart once told me: _fear isn't always meant to make you back down, sometimes it's there to push you forward_."

A robot managed to get a hit in as she was distracted, throwig her into a small mountain of rubble that cut harshly into her skin. Clint immediately moved to go stand by her, trying his best to keep her covered as she recovered from the blow to her side. He was just a guy with some arrows though and Amelia had managed to gather quite the party of robots. Things weren't looking up for either of the Avengers, not until the doors opened once again and red began to flood the field, tearing through all the robots that had surrounded them.

"Yes!" Amelia screamed, unable to hold back her excitement as she watched Wanda Maximoff show just how much of a strong and independant bad ass she was. White flooded from her fingers, joining the dancing red energy and assisting in decemating all opponents on the surrounding streets.

A moment of silence passed as all threats seemed to cease and they all looked at each other, both Clint and Amelia nodding their head with respect at Maximoff for making the decision to stand up and face her fears.

"Alright, we're clear," Clint announced to everyone else in the comms.

"We are not clear! We are very not clear!" Came Steve's swift reply.

Despite herself, a small bit of excitement rose in her as she realised that the opportunity to fight by her soldier's side had arrived. "On my way, honey," she said, flying off towards him and leaving Wanda and Clint behind. Except when she arrived on the scene, Wanda was already there and it wasn't until she noticed a blue blur passing by that it dawned on her that Pietro must have picked her up, and from the looks of things, left Clint behind. Amelia could easily imagine the grumpy expression on Clint's face as he played catch up with everyone else.

She landed just as a Steve threw his shield over to Natasha, managing to catch the head of a robot beside her and decapitate it. The red head quickly grabbed the shield and used it to deflect repulsors from a nearing robot which Amelia quickly caught in her white energy, splitting it in half.

"Throw the shield!" Amelia yelled to Nat and the redhead did as she asked, knowing what would happen next after seeing Steve and Amelia use the move in previous battles. Using the momentum of Nat's own throw she guided the shield around the field, like a knife carving through butter she went through ten robots before gently returning it to Steve.

The soldier approached her and gently pecked against her cheek, a small thank you before his eyes quickly returned back to the surrounding robots and he charged off to go attack them.

With a giant beaming smile stretching her face it didn't take much time before Natasha noticed just how well things had become between the brunette and her soldier. "Looks like things are going good on your end?" She questioned, using her electrified baton to strike a robot.

Amelia joined in the fight, catching the robot and planting one of her knives into the neck of it, remembering that Tony had done so before and she actually managed to turn the robot off. Whilst they had been made by different people, the design was pretty similar, and she wasn't disappointed as the robot fell to the ground. "Yup, and what about you? Did Bruce manage to get you out?"

"Yeah," Natasha relaxed against the door of a car they were stood by, catching her breath as Amelia retreived her knife from the fallen robot, "and we might have kissed."

The brunette's head snapped back to Nat, eyes wide and excitement blossoming on her face, "what?! Oh my god! Was he good?"

Laughing, Natasha shoved at Amelia's shoulder, " it's not that big of a deal, you don't see me reacting like that when Steve kisses you."

"Yeah, but me and Steve have kissed plenty of times," she replied, waving her hand at Nat and dismissing her reaction to Amelia's excitement.

"What?" Natasha asked, jumping into action again as a robot approached, flying right into her baton, "I only know about the one kiss."

"And that's all you're going to know about," Amelia playfully retorted, pushing two robots together and smashing them into each other before discarding them, pushing the metal carcasses at three more robots in order to knock them down to the ground. The girls parted there, their girl talk being interrupted by the army of robots that didn't seem to have an end to it, even as they managed to discard the ones in their corner, they all knew that more would be arriving soon.

"The next wave's going to hit any minute," Steve said as he guided civilians inside buildings where he'd hoped they'd be safe, they'd at least be away from all the fighting. "What have you got, Stark?"

Through the comms, Amelia heard her brother sigh, the sound adding another weight to the dread that seemed to be chained to her heart. "Nothing great," he reluctantly revealed, "maybe a way to blow up the city, that'll keep it from impacting the surface if you guys can get clear."

Steve joined Natasha and Amelia, an unhappy expression on his face, "I asked for a solution, not an escape plan."

"Impact radius is getting bigger every second, we're going to have to make a choice."

Amelia didn't like what she was hearing just as much as Steve, if they took down the city then that meant a lot of people would end up dying. She wracked her brain for options, like maybe she could just float a load of people down, but there was no way of knowing that she'd be able to do it in time or even last that long using her own powers.

Feeling the weight of the decision curdle her insides, she reached out to Steve's hand who actually needed the comfort as much as she did.

Natasha noticed the way the two were acting, noticed their reluctance, "these people are going nowhere, if Stark finds a way to blow this rock-"

"Not until everyone's safe," Steve interrupted, looking at Amelia who nodded at his decision, giving him her full support.

"Everyone up here versus everyone down there? There's no math there," Natasha argued, and though Amelia hated it, the redhead had a point. There were far more people below them, and really the only choice they had was saving everyone on earth or saving no one because if they chose not to destroy Sokovia than Ultron's plan would no doubt come into fruition.

Amelia looked down, feeling somewhat ashamed that she couldn't support her soldier anymore. She released his hand and walked further towards the edge, cogs turning in her mind. They had no choice but to destroy Sokovia and the people on it. But if they did that, then that also meant the Avengers were in trouble. It was one of those moments where she had to once again ask herself what Steve would do, and the answer became very clear, very soon. Herself, or the people?

"I'm not leaving this rock with one civilian on it," Steve argued, tone adamant.

A soft smile curved Amelia's lips as she admired how resolute Steve was, even when things were looking bad, he had hope. In some ways, she supposed that was what Captain America was, he was hope. Perhaps that's why she loved him so much, why she fell for him the moment they met, because just being near him could give even the most broken person hope.

"Then we don't go," she responded, turning to face him and trying to hide the sadness and fear she felt. She tried to keep a smile on her face so that she could be Steve's hope as well, "we'll just put our date on hold again, it's no biggie."

Amelia didn't know how familiar of a situation Steve felt he was in, how much his chest hurt at her words. It was just like how his story had ended with Peggy. The pain was almost enough to make him want to say no, that just for once he was going to save himself instead of other people. Of course, he never would, that was something he'd never be able to do. But for a moment he found solace in the thought that in another life he and Amelia would finally get that forsaken date, maybe get married, maybe grow old together, maybe even have kids.

And then he looked into Amelia's eyes, finding solace in the black depths. At least, he supposed, this time around he'd get to be with his favourite girl right to the end. They really would be there for each other until the end of the line.

"There are worse ways to go, where else will we get a view like this?" Natasha vocalised, showing her support for her friend's decision as Amelia and Steve stepped closer together. Seeing them so sweet together was enough to make Natasha sick to her stomach, and yet, it also made her wish that she was with Bruce. She decided that's what she'd do next, she'd find her man and maybe get him back to being Bruce, and then in their last moments she wanted to be able to look at the horizon together, then maybe each other. Nat quite liked that idea. That the last thing her eyes would ever lay on would be Bruce, her hope.

Steve and Amelia met in the middle, hands automatically joining together as her head fell against his chest, just under his chin. She was sorry for the burden he was feeling, and if she could take it off him the way she took away Charlie's pain then she wouldn't hesitate. But she couldn't. All she could do was make sure that Steve knew she'd always be with him.

"Glad you like the view, Romanoff." A new voice intruded their comms, "it's about to get better."

They all looked at each other in confusion, Amelia sure that it was the pirate's voice but she didn't understand what he was talking about. Nat and Steve were the first to see it, both staring back at the horizon with their mouths dropping open, lips tilting upwards into smiles. She followed their gaze, at first confused, convincing herself for a moment that she was seeing another piece of land floating up into the air but eventually it coined on in her mind. It was a hellicarrier, much like the one her and Steve had fought the winter soldier on, except it had giant fans keeping it afloat instead of engines.

"Nice, right?" Fury continued, able to imagine all of their baffled expressions and taking great pride in creating them, "I pulled her out of mothballs with a couple of old friends. She's dusty, but she'll do."

"Fury, you son of a bitch," Steve exclaimed, arm raising up over Amelia's shoulders, the girl practically jiggling with excitement beside him.

"Oh," Fury cooed, "you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

"No actually," Amelia responded for Steve, turning herself around so that she was facing him with one hand resting on his chest, "he kisses me." As though she were proving a point she pressed her lips against his, hand sliding up to the back of his neck. She was happy, their date was back on and she was so damn _happy_ , for some reason kissing Steve felt like the best way to get some of that happiness out of her body. Not even Tony making a puking sound could ruin their happy little moment.

* * *

 **A/N: Fun fact that's actually a little sad, Amelia's power work in whatever way she demands them to. She didn't need to take Charlie's pain, she could have quite easily just numbed his body but instead she _chose_ to take on all his pain. Why? Well, if you were to ask me, I'd say it's because she was trying to get retribution for all the pain she'd caused others.**

 **But what do you guys think about what Ultron said? I feel like that's another theme that comes from my abuse tbh, because it's my worst fear to become like my mother or sister but it's always interesting to hear your guys perspective.**

 **AOU ENDS NEXT CHAPTER BTW**

 **To Guest, so the chat does eventually happen, I swear! But y'know, Ultron kind of got in the way, and then some other stuffs. But it does happen! Should be Chapter 46 but that could change cause planning and stuffs ^^ I'm sorry.**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, I'm still unsure about Sharon Carter, pitting female characters against each other due to jealousy is such an overdone cliche but at the same time... Idk, we'll see! I mean surely Sharon will know about Steve and Amelia becoming a thing, but then again, her grandma did just die and perhaps she'll be going through some emotional things and Steve could be her crutch. Idk.**

 **To .2018, I think you mean 'looking gopd' (if this starts becoming offensive please do tell me, I mean it all in like good humour and stuff)**

 **To ArtemisLuna85, GREAT QUESTIONS! No, she did not talk to Thor yet, that will be chapter 46 (unless my chapter plans change). Amelia's powers didn't come from the space stone, she already had powers 'given to her' by Hydra before they started experimenting on her with the Tesseract, melding a part of it with the powers she already had in her body and enhancing them to become even stronger, though all they cared about was that the powers became more deadly, which they did but Hydra decided the price was too high. Amelia could be more powerful than even Wanda because 'the power of cosmos' basically means 'the power of _everything_ ' seen as _everything_ is made up of stardust and other cool space stuff, but Amelia has always been just a human. She can't regenerate limbs, she doesn't have super speed or an impressive metabolism. So if she ever were to use the full power she's been given by the tesseract than it would destroy her. Hence why she went slightly crazy during 2012, that was her body being overwhelmed by the tesseracts own powers. I'm so sorry for how long this reply has been but I love talking about this stuff.**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, I'm very happy to hear that you enjoyed them both!**

 **To Pitspee, legit I did not think this through when I named them, like there is no good ship name for them. By this point I just call them 'Hot Chocolate' which is still a long ass ship name but it's their thing and I think it's cute. And yus! Tony and Mia need to bond more! I agree with you on that!**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, addicted? I know I shouldn't, but I feel so happy hearing that. Please do seek some help for that though lol. Thank you for all the wonderful compliments!**

 **And a big totally-not-mundane (I really am running out of ways to describe my thank you's) thank you to everyone that read the chapter!**


	42. Chapter Fourty

**CHAPTER FOURTY**

* * *

" _This heart of mine has just two settings: nothing at all or too much. There is no in between."_

― _**Beau Taplin**_

* * *

Their next mission was making sure that they got all the people of Sokovia onto the helicarrier, which was something they'd already made an easy task for themselves by directing most of the civilians into buildings so they'd be out of harm's way.

Steve and Amelia were the ones who found them first, assisting the civilians to make their way over to the lifeboats sent from the helicarrier, also trying to keep everyone organised. It was a lot easier for her to ease all the frantic souls with Steve by her side, she could simply observe how he treated them and repeat his actions and words. There was no need to overthink her actions or worry that she'd hurt them.

As they were assisting the people onto the boat as speedily as they could before Ultron sent his next wave (he'd already sent a few to try and stop the lifeboats from reaching the helicarrier but Iron Man and War Machine were taking quick care of them) Steve and Amelia ended up talking about their date, trying to plan for it, seen as it looked like it was actually going to happen.

"I don't want to go dancing," she responded to Steve's suggestion, her hand repeatedly pushing people along and keeping them in a line, "how about we do something more exciting, like laser tag?"

"Our job is laser tag," he scoffed, looking at her over the heads of the people passing between them, sending her an incredulous look.

She playfully stuck her tongue out at him, more entertained than insulted by his rejection of her idea. "Well I can't dance," she said in an explanation on why she declined his suggestion. Floating through the sky she noticed three robots flying down to them, she nodded her head towards them, gaining Steve's attention. "May I borrow your shield?" She requested politely, taking a few steps back from the line of people so she could raise her hands outwards.

He took his shield off his back and turned towards the three robots, throwing it towards them and Amelia took over from there, sending the shield slicing threw the three robots. "I can't dance either, but we could always learn together," he turned back to face her, not noticing her bringing her shield back to him until it connected with the magnets on his back.

"This is really gross for me to hear, just so you know," Tony interrupted.

"I think it's cute," Nat defended, stood only a short distance away, guiding with her hands what way the civilians needed to go in order to reach a lifeboat.

"Well you're biased," Tony retorted, flying over them and shooting at a few robots that had gotten close to the civilians. A few more sailed past him, going towards a lifeboat that was mid-air and shooting at one of the jets, causing it to begin to collapse but Tony quickly swooped in. He destroyed the robots on his way and then he went underneath the lifeboat, acting as the fourth jet so it was more balanced as it floated back to the helicarrier. "You get what I mean, right Clint?" Tony question, a struggle tinging his voice as he tried his best to keep the very heavy lifeboat up in the air.

"No I'm on their side, sorry Tony," Clint responded, breaking the billionaire's spirit slightly as he began to feel very lonely. Chuckling at the sigh he heard in the comms, Clint decided to explain further, "they're young and in love, let them be."

"Well, I think that's what?" Amelia looked at Steve.

"About four to one," he said, finishing her sentence and smiling gleefully as they all teased Tony together.

"Well that's alright," Tony sniffed, "I've got Rhodey on my side, and Thor."

"No I'm sorry but I'm on Little Stark's side," Thor piped in, having just been saved from Ultron by Vision, "now I think you best hurry here, Ultron is going after the core." Just as he finished speaking robots began to step into the church, both Vision and Thor quickly beginning to take care of them, stopping them from closing in on the core.

"Guess it's time we assemble," Amelia mused, stepping through the line so that she could reach Steve's side, flying him and herself over to the church, "also, five to one now Tony."

"Yes, and whilst you've been making petty statistics, I've come up with a plan," Tony retorted, trying to drop the subject he'd accidentally started, setting forward to the church, "Rhodey, make sure you get the rest of the people on board that carrier."

"Got it," Rhodey replied, continuing to circle around the lifeboats and ensure that no robots got near them, most of their attention seemed to be going onto something else, "and just so you know, it's six to one."

"Wow, Rhodey, really? You're my best friend and you're going to side with them?" He asked, landing down into the church just after Amelia and Steve had arrived, at least Tony could take solace in the fact that he was a much faster flyer than his sister.

"If it makes you uncomfortable, I'm a big fan of it," Rhodey retorted, making the rest of the Avengers chuckle, Amelia was sure she even saw Vision with a smile on his face.

Wanda and Clint arrived next, Pietro immediately going up to his little sister and making sure that she was okay. From the sidelines Amelia was trying to take note of how they behaved around each other so that she could implement the same actions with her own brother. After ensuring no harm had come to his little sister Pietro zoomed off, taking care of as many robots as he could, ensuring that none got near to his twin.

"Romanoff? You and Banner better not be playing 'hide the zucchini'," Tony quipped into the comms, causing Amelia to turn to face Steve with a raised eyebrow, he blushed and sent her a 'we'll talk about it later' look.

"Relax, Shell-head," Nat retorted, the sound of a vehicle moving across rubble audible in the background, "not all of us can fly." Not seconds later did they spot a yellow truck approaching the church, knocking back and running over many of Ultron's iron soldiers. Natasha popped out and joined the rest of the team that had moved to circle around the core, "what's the drill?"

Tony pointed to the vibranium core behind them, "this is the drill. If Ultron gets a hand on the core, we lose." Natasha nodded in understanding, pulling out her electrified baton and beginning to swing it mercilessly at any approaching robots. The Hulk joined soon after Nat, landing harshly on the earth and crushing two robots underneath its feet before the green beast marched into the church and continued to decimate Ultron's army there.

Behind the Hulk followed Ultron, floating down from the sky like an angel of death. With Ultron's forces in the church easily wiped out by the skill of the Avengers, cockily, Thor marched closer to Ultron and opened his arms towards the numerous destroyed toy soldiers, "is that the best you can do?" He yelled out the question, earning no response back from Ultron. Instead, the robot raised his hand up. For a moment the action was confusing, having no effect on the Avengers. And then, behind Ultron, an ocean of robots appeared, leaking out of every street, neverending.

Steve sighed from behind Thor, shaking his head, "you had to ask."

"This, is the best I can do," Ultron proudly proclaimed, his sea of warriors stopping beneath his feet. He then gestured towards the Avengers, "this is exactly what I wanted. All of you, against all of me. How could you possibly hope to stop me?"

Amelia had to admit, in the face of all those robots, a part of her worried if they'd all make it out alive.

"Well, like the old man said," Tony began, stepping forward and placing a hand on his younger siblings shoulder, offering her some comfort, their eyes met for a quick second and then he looked back to Ultron, "together."

The Hulk let out a daunting roar, Ultron's soldiers marching towards them. The Avengers jumped straight into action, fighting off any that came near, never letting any robot pass their own little shield that they'd created.

Red and white danced across the field, a blue blur passing through, lightning came from Thor's hammer and destroyed, repulsors were fired from Tony, arrows passed through the field.

Vision flew around taking care of most of the aerial robots, Cap putting his gymnastics to good use whilst Amelia took control of his shield for a short bit, Natasha was easily holding her own and the Hulk was smashing anything metal that came near him. They worked together, protecting one another whenever they could and all fighting for the same cause. Amelia decided in that moment, that the day she first went to the Avenger's tower with Steve, it wasn't just Tony who became her official family.

Ultron flew into the field, immediately being taken by Vision and pushed outside. Thor was the first to notice that Vision had Ultron on the ground beneath his beam that shot from the stone of Vision's head. He joined in, sending lightning. Next came Tony who began to fire his own beam. And then Amelia, standing in between Thor and her brother, she raised up one hand and shot from it a beam of brilliant starlight that kept Ultron kneeling and crouched on the ground, his vibranium skin beginning to burn a bright red and melt away.

They only stopped when he'd collapsed completely on the ground, weak, bare. He was done for.

Ultron stumbled up on to his feet pathetically, still trying to face the Avengers despite the glaring obviousness of his defeat. "You know, with the benefit of hindsight-" Everyone was done listening to his words, even the Hulk, who charged into the field and punched him away.

"They'll try to leave the city," Thor noted all the robots that were beginning to retreat, running towards the edge of the city and trying to fly off.

"We can't let them, not even one," Tony replied, shooting off and beginning to chase them all, "Rhodey!"

"On it," his friend replied, quickly appearing and taking care of all the fleeing robots with the assistance of Vision who Rhodey had a very hard time wrapping his mind around.

With the church mostly emptied - except for a few stragglers that were still attempting to reach the core, but they were easily taken out - they all grouped together again, Steve supplying them with orders. "We've got to move out, even I can tell the air is getting thin. You guys get to the boats, I'll sweep for stragglers, be right behind you."

Amelia moved over to stand by his side, "I'll come with you," she decided and Steve simply nodded his head, not bothering to waste his time trying to argue with her.

"What about the core?" Clint asked.

"I'll protect it," Wanda piped up, and when Clint looked at her with an 'are you sure' look, she gave a resolute nod, "it's my job."

Amelia smiled as she stepped closer to Wanda, patting her on the arm, "you're going to be just fine, kid," she mused, not just referring to their battle with Ultron.

"I'm not a kid," Wanda replied back, causing Amelia's smile to blossom into a toothy grin.

They all left Wanda, Clint and Natasha splitting from the group as Steve and Amelia worked their way around the city trying to find any people left. It helped that Amelia used her power to sense most of the people, and soon enough they were returning back to where the lifeboats were with another group of about thirty people.

"Is this everyone?" Pietro appeared beside them, causing Amelia to jump in the air though she managed to laugh off the surprise instead of getting angry about it. "I'm sorry," Pietro quickly apologised.

She waved her hand amorously, her other hand falling on top of her rapidly beating heart, "it's cool. Though, that's definitely a habit you're going to have to break now that you're on the team. I may be young, but my heart is still frail," she joked, not realising the effect her words on him.

The bleach-haired man looked over to Steve, the leader of the Avengers, "am I on the team?"

"Well, you're sister is," Amelia said with her eyebrows scrunching together, also looking to Steve as she realised it might not have been her place to make such a decision. It had been a weird experience moving on from being a team into a group where he was the leader, normally all their decisions would be discussed and decided together.

Steve just gestured to Amelia and shrugged, "whatever the lady says normally goes."

Pietro took that as a yes, and he hadn't expected it to make him so happy. All his life he'd been so caught up by the picture in his pocket of his family before the bombing that he'd never thought about a different life, but the Avengers were showing him one. Whilst he wasn't a fan of Tony Stark still, he was a fan of what the Avengers had done that day. They'd helped people, done their best to make sure everyone was safe. That was what he wanted to do as well. It was upsetting that it had taken him so long to realise, it made Pietro feel somewhat like he'd wasted his life, but Amelia and the Avengers were offering him a chance to not waste the rest of it and he'd never felt so ready for anything in his entire life.

"Unless you don't want to be on the team?" Amelia asked him, beginning to think that perhaps she'd forced the Maximoff's into something they didn't want to do.

Thankfully, Pietro shook his head side to side, "no, this is something I want to do."

"Then welcome to the team, buddy," she awkwardly patted him on the back, hoping that the sentiment would reach Pietro despite her fumbling execution. He nodded his head gratefully towards her, finding her actions more endearing than awkward, and then he proceeded to zip off so he could further help civilians, feeling much more driven to help those in need after his short conversation with the couple.

"Looks like you've warmed up to the twins," Steve noted, actually quite happy and impressed with how well she'd managed to form a relationship with them in such a short amount of time.

The brunette shrugged, unable to hold back the smile on her face because she felt quite proud as well, experiencing the same emotion she did when she first ordered orange juice at the restaurant with Sam a year ago. "What can I say, the little shits have grown on me."

"Thor, I'm gonna need you back in the church," Tony requested.

The god moved over to Steve and Amelia first before leaving, knowing that it was time for him to play his part in destroying the floating city, "is this the last of them?"

Both Steve and Amelia nodded in answer to his question. "Yeah," Steve continued as Amelia busied herself to help a shaking mother on to the lifeboat, "everyone else is on the carrier."

After easing Thor's worries the God left towards the church, leaving Steve and Amelia who managed to get the last few onto the lifeboat.

"Go get on the boat, I'll be right back," Amelia said to Steve, beginning to jog off but the soldier grabbed her arm before she could go far.

"Where are you going?"

She huffed with impatience, knowing that they didn't have much time left, "there was this kid, Charlie, I don't want to leave his body here." She'd hoped the explanation would be enough but her soldier still seemed to hesitate, not liking the idea of letting her run off and maybe not get back to the lifeboat in time.

Just as he opened his mouth to say something dust shot up from the ground as shots from a quinjet fired towards them. Steve acted quickly and pulled her towards him, away from the bullets before they either of them could get hit. They fell to the floor. Ears ringing and throats aching as they inhaled all the dust Ultron had caused to fly upwards. Once it settled they both looked up, first checking that neither of them had been harmed and then looking over the field to make sure that no one had been seriously harmed.

Amelia first saw an agent on the ground holding his leg that had been hit and then her eyes moved further forward, finally falling onto the back of Pietro Maximoff that was covered in gunshot wounds.

"No!" She screamed out, louder than the bullets themselves. She tried to charge forward but Steve was still holding on to her him so she began to throw her fists against his chest, not doing much damage but doing enough for him to instinctively release her. She tried to get there as quick as possible but she wasn't as fast as Pietro was.

He was already on the ground when she reached him. Already cold. She fell down to her knees beside him, scraping against all the rocks and not caring when she felt some pierce the palm of her hand. She placed them on his forehead, blood smearing on his dirtied skin as she tried anything she could think of. Amelia was frantic. Pietro was young, just like Charlie. She'd already had Charlie die on her, she couldn't have someone else, not another kid. Not another.

Steve joined her, finally spotting Clint holding a child behind a car. That's what Pietro had done. He'd moved a car and shoved Clint aside, he'd protected them, even though it meant sacrificing his own life.

The soldier bent down next to Amelia, placing a hand on her back, not caring about the white energy that had wrapped itself around her body which was also passing over Pietro. "Freckles," he said gently, trying to get her attention.

She used a force to push his hand off of her back. "In 2012 I saved all those people, I can do it again." She wasn't saying the words to Steve or Clint or Pietro, she was saying them to herself. She had to believe them because she couldn't have another person dying, especially not Pietro. Wanda needed him, just like she needed Tony. Amelia splayed her hands out against his chest, pushing white energy into his body though she didn't know what she was even doing. She was just hoping.

"Freckles-"

"I can do it!" She repeated to Steve as he tried to speak to her again, beginning to harshly push her hands against Pietro's chest. "I have to do this!"

She kept trying. Kept forcing white energy into his body, making his skin shine bright. Kept bashing her hands against his chest. Kept screaming out that she _had_ to do it.

Kept avoiding Pietro's eyes as the weight of her failure became more and more evident.

Her screams melted into whimpers as nothing happened. Amelia couldn't understand it, she'd saved all those people in 2012, but how? And why couldn't she do it again? Pietro didn't deserve to die, and if only she understood more about her powers. She'd let Pietro down. She'd let Wanda down.

Steve placed his hand on to her back again, not being shoved away this time, "Amelia, we have to go," he tried to keep his voice low and soothing, not wanting to make her panic but needing for her to get off of the floating city.

Amelia didn't initially move, her eyes remained on Pietro, hand slowly moving over to his eyes which she shut. It would be another pair of eyes she'd always remember. And then she looked over to Steve, "why couldn't I save him?"

"I know," he whispered, feeling her pain and allowing her to fall into his chest so that he could easily pick her up. Steve continued to whisper in her ear, telling her that it wasn't her fault, that she did her best, but all the words just fell on deaf ears. He carried her onto the quinjet and sat himself down in a seat, keeping Amelia in his lap so that he could do his best to comfort her.

Clint followed behind him, the child that Pietro had saved walking beside him and in his arms, he carried Pietro's corpse. Steve made sure to keep Amelia's eyes covered, forcing her head into his chest, not caring of the snot and tears that fell onto his suit.

It had been a long day, full of loss that should never have been, but it was still a victorious day. Tony and Thor managed to break the city, the world was saved and they'd managed to get Wanda to safety thanks to Vision. No one celebrated it though. There weren't any parties that day. There were funerals, lots of them, and a countless amount of tears that spoke a million unsaid words.

The Avenger's had saved the day again. But at what price?

* * *

 **A/N: Whelp, Pietro's dead. That's a shame. I actually have a version of this chapter where she saves Pietro but I just don't think it would be right, stuff like that always has to come at a price and Amelia isn't connected enough with her powers to be able to do such a thing. In some other news that might make you guys feel happier, I just finished writing the chapter where Amelia gets the sex talk! So yeah, look forward to part three but also... don't...**

 **To .2018, thank you!**

 **To notYacob, thank you! I'm glad they're serving their purpose. It's something I started doing bloody years ago and now it's just automatic, I literally can't write a chapter until I have a quote written so it's nice to see them appreciated lol**

 **To Undertaker's Hattress, this was such a wonderful and heart-warming comment and then I read the last part and oh my god I'm sorry but I had to do it, I hope this hasn't ruined the story for you! I really appreciate what you said like honestly when someone tells me my stories are 'well crafted' and stuff it makes my heart grow ten sizes (in a healthy way) because a writer is all I've ever wanted to be so yus thank you so much!**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, I need to write more bonding scenes between Amelia and Nat, but now I've also got to try and fit in Amelia and Wanda and just omg where will I ever fit in all the cuddles between Amelia and Steve**

 **To Sam0728, I hope your camping trip was okay! I was so happy to see your comments again ^^ I'm glad you liked the past few chapters, let's hope that continues!**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, aye, I figured Charlie deserved more time to shine**

 **To Guest, don't ever apologise for a big review! The bigger they are the better ^^ And yeah I see where you're coming from and Amelia really isn't that much of the jealous type (or, she doesn't realise that she is because Amelia has never really learnt about jealousy) but if Sharon was to kiss Steve in front of her then I think she'd definitely have an issue**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, thank you :)**

 **And a big unsalted thank you to everyone that read the chapter!**


	43. Chapter Fourty-One

**CHAPTER FOURTY-ONE**

* * *

" _People generally see what they look for and hear what they listen for."_

― _**Harper Lee**_

* * *

Sun leaked out through the window like kisses from the divine, pressing against Amelia's cheeks and coaxing her awake. _Another_ day. Though, Amelia didn't mind that so much as beside her was something warm and solid and _lovely_. She tightened her arms around Steve, refusing to wake up for another few minutes and instead she revelled in the unworldly peace she found by her man's side.

Steve released a groan, also awakening but only stirring slightly. He too found quite a bit of solace where he was. Laid on his back, he had one arm underneath Amelia's figure that was curled up at his side. He raised up his hand, splaying it against her bare skin where the vest she wore didn't cover, and then proceeding to draw shapes.

Amelia giggled, moving away from his touch and pressing herself further into him, "that tickles," she said in a whining tone, voice hoarse and throat feeling dry.

"Sorry," he dropped his hand but Amelia instantly reached behind herself for his hand, putting it back onto her bare shoulder. The action had a small smile playing on his lips. For a while they stayed like that, just like they had done for the past week ever since they finished fighting off Ultron. "We should get up," Steve mumbled gruffly, receiving a groan from Amelia in response, "we've got a busy day today," another groan, " _you_ 've got a busy day today."

Steve rolled over and pulled his arm out from beneath her, turning his body around so that he could face her, Amelia still refused to open her eyes though, even when he grabbed the side of her face, "Amelia," he called, laughing slightly.

"Mmm?" She allowed her head to fall limp into his hand, lips brushing against his palm. He moved her head again and before she knew what was happening his lips were pressing against hers, a true love's kiss calling sleeping beauty back to the world of the awakened.

He pulled away far too suddenly, making her eyes finally open up, but they were instantly pained by the bright light coming from the wall of windows though Steve's face blocked some of it, the light framing his face like a halo.

"Why can't we just spend the day in bed, leave it all for tomorrow," she begged, hand reaching out towards her soldier as he stood up and exited the bed, moving over towards the bathroom.

The bedroom looked empty, most of the furniture removed except for a few boxes that they were meant to place the last of their belongings into. The Avengers were moving to a new facility, a more secure one, which meant most of their week had been spent packing up all their items again. Steve told her that it would be a more permanent home that time, and she found herself loving the idea. Whilst their year together had been great and transforming, it was time the two settled and concentrated on themselves.

So far the relationship had been great, wonderful, stupendous, and all the other adjectives Amelia could think of. She hadn't expected there to be that much of a change between her and Steve after facing Ultron, and whilst they hadn't started calling each other 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend', they had started kissing more, that was a great change both seemed to be enjoying. They felt closer, somehow. There was no more secret keeping, no more lying, they were honest.

But the outside world wasn't as simple. The Avengers were getting a lot of critique for the destruction they'd left, reporters apparently not understanding how little of a choice they'd had and painting a very rude picture of them all in the media.

Bruce had left Earth, and Pietro was gone. The world didn't seem so bright anymore. But when Steve and Amelia were together, they'd find that light again, like they're own little star just for them.

"Because we spent all of yesterday in bed," Steve replied from the bathroom, the sound of a tap beginning to run and she knew he was shaving his barely there scruff that had formed, much to her dismay. Perhaps one day she'd be able to talk him into growing a full beard.

"Lies!" She yelled, raising her hand up into the air, "we went for a morning run, finished packing up the rest of our stuff, and then we went back to bed. Which, I think you'll find, means we only spent the rest of the day in bed."

Steve reappeared at the door of the bathroom, wiping his freshly shaven jaw with a towel and once he was done he rested his body against the doorway, sending her a sympathetic look. "You know we can't spend the day in bed." Amelia's joking pout melted away, a serious expression taking over her face. She finally sat up, bringing her legs up to her chest so that she could rest her head on her knees. Seeing how sullen she'd become, Steve moved closer, sitting on the edge of the bed and discarding the towel over his shoulder. "Come on," he signalled towards the door to their bedroom, "you get dressed and I'll go make us breakfast."

"Pancakes?" She asked, her head lifting up slightly.

He nodded his head, chuckling slightly, "pancakes."

Her heart tightened in her chest, reminding Amelia just how much she loved him. Leaning over she pressed another kiss to his lips, truly believing that she'd never get tired of his lips.

They parted then, Amelia moving into the walk-in wardrobe and picking up the clothes she'd left out. She wore her usual clothes, dawning her treasured leather jacket before making her way up to the kitchen and joining Steve who'd already made a plate full of pancakes with some banana and berries set aside them. Gratefully she pecked his cheek, taking the plate from beside him and moving over to the breakfast bar, sitting on a stool that made her the same height as Steve when he was standing.

"I'm meeting her at twelve," she announced casually as she began to eat the stack of pancakes.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?" He asked as he emptied a jug of the pancake mix inside.

Amelia shook her head from side to side, though his back was turned to her so she had to swallow her food and then vocalise her thoughts, "no, it has to be me that does this. Besides, you can try and see if Nat wants to train with you, maybe get some of her anger out."

"You think she's angry?" Steve flipped over the pancake, turning to send Amelia an inquisitive look. She'd spent more time with the redhead than he had so her knowledge of how Natasha was dealing with Bruce leaving outweighed his. It was the same with Wanda, she had become quite the recluse since her brother passed away, staying in the room given to her at the new facility.

Amelia had managed to get both Natasha and Wanda out of their rooms and out of their minds for a little while, orchestrating a night - with the help of Maria Hill - full of movies, alcohol and junk food (Amelia's expertise) and it had ended well. Exactly the way Amelia had hoped it would. The girls had bonded with one another, even Wanda had opened up and then by the end of the night they'd each cried and opened up about their woes. It had taken a lot more alcohol for Natasha but eventually she got to extinguish her sadness. Amelia had cried with them, feeling their woes as well.

She'd apologised to Wanda for not being able to save her brother, but Wanda told her that she had nothing to be sorry for. Still, Amelia wasn't able to forget about what she'd done, or, what she _hadn't_ done.

"I think she's furious," Amelia responded to Steve who finally came to sit beside her with his own plate of freshly-made pancakes, "but she's so locked up inside of her head, and so sad about the loss that she doesn't realise it."

Supportively Steve pressed a hand against her back and she leaned towards him, allowing his arm to wrap around her shoulders and hug her. Both of them had felt quite guilty after Ultron, it seemed they'd been the only ones who'd managed to recover, able to find what they needed to heal within each other. Tony had hidden himself in work and though Thor had stuck around to help, it was obvious his mind was being overwhelmed with thoughts about what his vision, the only reason he hadn't left back to Asgard was because he needed to speak to Amelia. No one seemed genuinely happy.

"Don't ever leave me like Bruce left her," she huffed whilst pressing her head against his shoulder.

Steve turned and kissed the top of her head, "I promise not to as long as you promise too."

"Deal," she reached her hand out and they both shook on it.

From behind them, they heard the sound of the kitchen door opening, accompanied by the sounds of footsteps. They both turned around, a stranger stopping at their stares and widening his eyes.

He wasn't very tall and he didn't look all that muscley either, dressed in a brown suit that seemed far too large for his body. He was blond, a brighter blond than Steve's, it looked unnatural on him. It was easy to guess why he was in the building because around his neck there was an ID badge and in his hands he held an iPad against his chest the same way Maria always had, clearly he worked in the building, only, Amelia and Steve had never met him before.

Behind the blond stranger Tony appeared in the doorway, walking straight into the boy as he'd been busy looking at his phone. Instantly the boy jumped out of the way, turning back to Tony and waving his hand frantically, "M-M-Mr Stark, I'm- I'm so sorry."

Affronted by the boys flustering, Tony's eyes widened for a moment before he returned to a casual expression, "chill," he put his hand on the boy's shoulder, doing nothing to ease the young man's racing heart. Her brother than looked up, spotting his sister and then noticing Steve who had his arm wrapped her, "really, you guys are doing it in the kitchen now? That's gross."

"We're not doing anything," Steve sighed, removing his arm from around Amelia, "we're just eating breakfast and you're welcome to have some."

"But you better hurry before I eat all of it," Amelia chimed in, a friendly smile playing on her lips as she looked to her brother happily. They'd been getting in plenty of bonding time over the past week, going out for a meal and spending some time in the lab as well. "Do you want some…?" She left the end of her sentence open and gestured towards the blond boy.

Instantly he became flustered again, looking towards Tony for help as his mouth opened and closed repeatedly, a scarlet red filling up his cheeks. Again Tony placed his hand on the boy's shoulder, "this is Aaron, Maria's replacement, though I don't think he's going to last very long."

"Wait, what?" Aaron spluttered.

Tony revealed a toothy grin to him, "I'm just kidding," the boy forced out a laugh at his bosses joke whilst the billionaire turned back to his sister and Steve, mouthing the words 'I'm not kidding'. Tony then moved over to Amelia's side, taking from her plate a pancake that he folded over and began to shove into his mouth, "are you still coming over to the lab?"

"I should, but I might be late," she responded, pushing her plate over to Tony so that he could finish the rest of them, "speaking of which, anybody got the time?"

"Y-Yes, um, ten past eleven, Miss Stark," Aaron piped up, turning his head away slightly as another blush filled the entire space of his head.

"Thanks," she expressed her gratitude softly, finding the boys shy behaviour adorable. "Well I'm going to get going. I'll see you later," she said to Tony, pecking his cheek and then turning back to Steve, pecking him on the lips, "and I'll see you later too."

"Get an umbrella before you leave, it's going to rain!" Tony yelled at her as she left the room, watching the doorway that she'd exited from with a frown, knowing that she'd just ignore him. He moved into the seat she'd left open, facing in a different direction to Steve. "Hey, Timberlake," he said, referring to the brightly blond-haired Aaron, "reckon you could go do something else for a bit?"

"I- Uh, you just told me to do the inventory in the kitchen, though?" He pointed behind him, signalling to the hallway that they'd been stood in moments earlier where Tony had given him orders to go into the kitchen, secretly using the boy to break apart Steve and his sister in case they were making out, something which he really didn't want to see.

Tony nodded his head, "and now I'm telling you to do something different." The billionaire raised an eyebrow, daring Aaron to argue further but he just fumbled out some messy words and left as quickly as he could. "So," Tony chippered, turning his head to look at Steve, "I think we need to have a talk."

Steve slowed his biting on a piece of pancake, instantly coining onto what Tony wanted to talk about. Reluctantly he placed his fork down onto the table in front of him, not really sure if he was at all prepared for what they'd be talking about but still steeling himself for it. Tony had been trying to get Steve alone for quite a while but the soldier had managed to avoid him, usually using Thor as his out which the God still had yet to pick up on. "Go on," he said, opening his hands and showing he was ready for the grilling he knew he was about to get.

"So what are you two now?" Tony jumped straight in, not playing around with his questions and easing them into the conversation, "boyfriend and girlfriend?" Steve shook his head, making Tony continue, "friends with benefits?" Steve shook his head quicker at that, Amelia didn't even know about sex yet and he wasn't the type to do that, "partners in crime? Bonnie and Clyde? Dogs and cats?"

The billionaire had gone a bit off topic there so Steve decided to speak and try to get his point of view across, "we haven't really talked about it in depth yet, but we're exclusive." Tony didn't say anything after that so the soldier knew he'd managed to answer his question, and then he decided to speak again, knowing what Tony was really worried about. "I'm not going to hurt her, Tony. I know it might sound too fairytale, but, I really think she is the one for me."

He didn't think he'd ever be truly comforted. Tony didn't want to lose his sister again and he wanted to always have her close, and he worried that if Steve and her did break up on bad terms that she might leave him as well just because he was both friends and work partners with the soldier. Steve's words at least lessened the probability number Tony had calculated in his head, and the billionaire decided that it would just have to be enough.

"You two gone on a date yet?" He asked, somewhat changing the subject as he remembered all the talk Steve and his sister had done whilst they were in the middle of Ultron's war.

Steve looked down at the table, feeling somewhat ashamed. "Not yet, no," he'd been meaning to make it happen, but he still had no idea what he should do and it never seemed the right time. They'd had Pietro's funeral and then they had to clean up the mess they'd made with Sokovia, Amelia going off to help her two friends heal (which had surprised Steve but also impressed him).

Tony started to think, meaning a silence formed. Steve turned back to face his pancakes, he only had a few left and then he was going to go visit Natasha and have his own chat with her, hoping he could help the redhead as much as Amelia had.

"It's weird, don't you think?" Tony said, voice surprisingly soft and his eyes looking off into nowhere, "things feel so different with her here, like they're… brighter." Perhaps it was because a part of him had been filled after living a lifetime of being absent without his sister, or maybe it was because she truly was an angel in disguise but despite all her flaws, having Amelia there did make Tony feel warmer inside. Less alone. Less afraid.

Steve's head nodded slightly in agreement, also recognising that the girl was like flowers grown on tarmac, despite growing up in less than ideal circumstances, she was becoming her own person, a kind person. "Yeah," he mused in agreement, "but it's not a bad weird."

"Not at all," Tony agreed, clapping his hand on Steve's shoulder as he stood up from his seat and left the room.

As he exited the hallway he came into contact with Aaron once again, the blond boy stood outside the kitchen doorway idly, he looked up to Tony with a wide gaze, skin red before the billionaire had even made an appearance, "I- I don't know what else to do." He excused, making the billionaire roll his eyes.

"Just go check the inventory in the kitchen, kid," he said, deciding to give the shy boy a break, hoping that after some time working with him that Aaron would eventually come out of his shell

* * *

Tony had been right, it did start to rain. It fell against Amelia's skin as soft as Steve's kisses in small pellets of water, the remainder quenching scattered puddles that decorated the ground, reflecting the green that surrounded her as she made her way through a park. On a bench near the swing sets she found the woman she was looking for, Amelia already familiar with her schedule.

"Miriam Spencer?" Amelia asked as she approached the bench, far too aware of her expression, trying to keep it serious whilst at the same time light. She didn't want to scare the middle-aged woman off.

Miriam looked up, squinting her eyes to identify the stranger despite the rain that tackled her, in her hand she tightened her hold on her phone. She hadn't let it go for an entire week, always keeping it close to her if she couldn't hold it, awaiting a call that would tell her the fate of her son who she knew had been in Sokovia when it was attacked.

The brunette moved to sit beside her, not caring that the bench was already soaked. Miriam was dressed in a large coat with a hood, the woman able to ignore the rain as her ritual was much more important. She'd go to the park every Sunday, it's where she'd take her son when he was younger every weekend in order to make up for the hours she'd had to work through the week.

She'd had to raise her son on her own but she didn't mind, all she cared about was raising a respectable boy and she'd achieved that, Miriam was so proud of her son and so scared of what could have possibly happened to him.

"I'm Amelia Stark," the brunette greeted, turning to face Miriam who was continuing to stare at her apprehensively. Amelia didn't really know how to go about the conversation, but she knew it had to be her, she had to respect Charlie's last wish. She offered her hand but Miriam didn't accept it, maintaining her tight hold on her mobile phone. "I'm a member of the Avengers, two weeks ago I was in Sokovia and I met your son-"

"You did?" She finally managed to vocalise words though her throat felt tight the moment Amelia mentioned that she was a part of the Avengers. All Miriam had been hearing on the news was the mayhem that the Avengers had caused in Sokovia, and whilst she'd tried to not make any judgements, it was hard not to when the only images ever shown on the news were people crying and a crumbled country. "Do you know where he is?" She asked, denying the first thing that came to her head because it seemed far too cruel a fate for her son, when Amelia's lips tightened the woman turned and shuffled closer, "tell me where my son is."

"He's dead." The words felt far too weighty on her tongue but they needed to be said, the woman needed to know. From what Amelia could tell Charlie's mother had been letting her life fall apart since the news of Sokovia, she hadn't turned up to her job and was spending more time in the park, remembering the good times when her son was actually with her, remaining in the park even though the cold rain was tumbling down on top of her.

In response, Miriam scoffed, standing up and shoving her phone back into her purse. The woman was a complete stranger and Miriam had no reason to trust what she was saying. Rather than feeling sadness over the news, all the woman felt was disbelief and anger. "How dare you," she aggressively snapped at Amelia, shaking her head in bafflement, "if I see you again I will call the police."

She began to walk away but Amelia stood and pursued her, the woman's quick steps nothing for the trained assassin who was much more spry than her, "Miriam, please, just listen to me, I know it's hard to hear-"

"No!" She called out, waving a hand in her direction and gaining the attention of two other people that had been walking through the park, "you don't know! If you knew you wouldn't be here spreading _lies_!"

Again Miriam tried to walk away but Amelia continued to chase her.

"You called him in the morning," the brunette began, Miriam's steps instantly beginning to slow, "but he didn't answer. I don't know the reason why, maybe he was just busy. He thought he'd get to call you again but that chance never came because in Sokovia he ended up trapped beneath a building that had fallen down due to Ultron's forces. I was the one who found him, and I stayed with him as he passed away."

Miriam had stopped and turned to face Amelia who was beginning to choke up, thankfully the rain was disguising both of their tears.

"He died peacefully, I promise. But there was nothing I could do to save him. We talked about his name, he said that he used to complain about it to you, but you always said it was a respectable name. And then… before he died, he asked me to find you and tell you that he loves you, that he's sorry for not answering the phone but he loves you."

Amelia finished telling her story, the words having been planned over and over again during restless nights and early mornings. Any moment her mind wasn't distracted the meeting was all she'd been thinking about. She thought that perhaps by affirming Charlie's last wish, she'd also feel better, but the guilt still stayed. So Amelia continued, despite telling herself that it would have been a bad idea earlier on, "I tried to go back for his body, but I didn't have the time to. I'm sorry."

Miriam walked closer, face expressionless and Amelia observed it carefully, far too aware that beneath emotionless faces there was always a storm. Once Miriam was closer enough, she lashed out, slapping Amelia across the face. Amelia turned her head with the slap, not affronted by the pain as she'd felt worse.

" _There was nothing you could do to save him_?" She spat the words out, poisonous flecks coming out as her hands began to shake, not with sorrow but rage. "You're an Avenger!" She lashed out again, punching her harshly against the chest though the brunette wasn't budged by it, "you're meant to save people, that's your job! If you can't save people then what is the _point_ of you?!"

Her hits became much more frequent and the two that had been passing by in the park began to approach, seeing a situation that they thought they should put a stop to but Amelia held out her hand and created a white wall that stopped them. "No," she told them, not moving her attention away from Miriam.

"He died because you didn't do your job!" She hissed out, beginning to use two hands as she hit Amelia over and over and over again. "He died because of you!" Her words became shrill and her hits became messy, the sounds of sobs beginning to break through her words. "He died because of you!" She repeated herself but her words weren't filled with anger, rather sorrow.

The world stopped making sense in that moment for Miriam. Her son was dead. It was unfair. She continued to repeat her words and she continued to throw her fists around messily, becoming more violent when Amelia enveloped her in a hug, eventually having no choice but to calm down as she became weaker, her legs caving in. Amelia held her up, even as she cursed the brunette for being alive.

Amelia took the beating and she allowed Miriam to blame her for the death, hoping that at least if she could blame her than it would become easier for her. Because in reality it was just bad luck, Charlie had been in the wrong place at the wrong time, and that was a cruel reality. With someone to blame, Miriam could direct her anger and, eventually, she'd be able to heal. Not fully. No one could ever heal from such a loss, but Amelia knew that she'd become numb, and numb was better than nothing, right?

"I'm sorry," the brunette cooed into her ear.

"It's your fault he died," Miriam responded to Amelia's worlds coldly, defeated. "It should have been you instead."

And Amelia agreed with her.

* * *

 **A/N: Another dark ending, I swear, the next chapter ends alright. And also, with the next chapter comes the end of part two, and onto part three which will be my own plot. I haven't finished planning it but I don't think it will be over twenty chapters, so still not that long of a wait until Civil War. Everything that happens will lead to big things in Civil War as well.**

 **ALSO LETS ALL WELCOME MY NEW BABY AARON, he plays a pretty important part in part three, I hope you all love him as much as I do. Such a shy and pure boy!**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, we don't get a scene that shows Wanda's reaction but her dealing with Pietro's death is mentioned throughout part three :) Thank you for the review, and I did actually have quite a great day so thanks for that as well lol**

 **To Undertaker's Hattress, I'm sorry! If I could give you anything as a consolation I would, any scene you want me to write? I feel bad and like I need to give you something back!**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, the sex talk finally happens in chapter 45, it ended up being pretty fun to write. And if Sharon were to, hypothetically, kiss Steve and if Amelia, hypothetically, saw it then, hypothetically, I think Amelia would go into attack mode. She doesn't know about jealousy but that won't stop her from feeling it, his lips are hers just as much as her lips are his. She'd probably be angry at Steve as well tbh.**

 **To .2018, I'm sorry! But also, blame Joss Whedon for originally putting his death in there anyway lol.**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, she has! I read the first chapter the other day and just WOW, she's learnt so much and is starting to implement the things she's seen Steve do. Now she can make friends without him and have normal human conversations and even love! I'm so proud of Amelia.**

 **To LieuDrake, I'm really sorry but it had to be done!**

 **To Cash1122, oh my god, thank you so much! You just spoiled me with compliments, and your words mean so much to me, thank you again!**

 **To BrittStar1199, tbh you should be, a lot of shit hits the fan in part four, not as much in part three. But it isn't the amount of shit that matters, it's the detrimental effects of the shit. That made more sense in my head.**

 **To Sam0728, I really did want to save him but I just couldn't, it really would affect the rest of the parts. Though, maybe in part six she could bring him back to life? Idk. Depends on what happens in Avengers 4 tbh.**

 **And a big thank you to everyone that read the chapter! Just a little side note, whilst I'm in the planning stages I always like to ask if there's anything you guys want to see so that I can add them in, so if there is a particular interaction you want to happen or a moment you'd love to see, please let me know and I'll try and see if I can fit it into part three somewhere :)**


	44. Chapter Fourty-Two

**CHAPTER FOURTY-TWO**

* * *

" _He's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same."_

― _**Emily Bronte**_

* * *

Aaron walked the halls of the new Avengers facility, dodging multiple agents that were rushing around. It had been a busy day as it was the official moving day for _everyone_ , obviously his boss was staying in his own home with Pepper Potts whilst the rest of the Avengers had been given their own personal rooms inside the facility. He'd spent most of the day doing inventory, it was the only real task that Tony trusted him to do. But as it got later into the evening he got a call from his boss requesting the blond boy to do a personal task he was quite nervous about.

In his hands he didn't have his usual iPad, instead, he was carrying a large white box with a navy blue bow wrapped around it. Seen as it was his first day in the new building he had to stop quite a few agents to ask for directions, they all seemed to huff slightly, begrudgingly taking time out of their own important tasks to help the fumbling boy and eventually he found himself exactly where he needed to be, the training room.

There, sat cross-legged on the floor was Amelia Stark, the only girl who acted friendly back to him, surrounded by spikes made from the white energy which she controlled with ease, making the shards dance around the air like birds, swooping down and doing pirouettes. The young boy was in awe as he watched.

He was still scared of her though, Aaron had heard plenty of stories about the brunette's past. Anyone who talked about her never described her as something beautiful, nothing like the starlight he saw weaving through her fingers. No, they described her as iron. They said her blood had the stench of rust because of all the hardened metal that made up her heart and pumped through her veins. She was a killer, they'd say, with a smile made for war. Though he had never seen that when he interacted with her.

For Aaron, he saw that more with Captain America. The soldier always seemed cold and distant, always on a mission, always focused on _something_. He was more a product of war than Amelia ever seemed. And yet, there were those odd moments that Aaron would wander into - moments that he was never meant to see - where it felt like Captain America was gone and replaced with Steve Rogers, just a man deeply in love with a girl who had fire on her fingertips, fire that melted away all that cold.

As beautiful as Amelia's show was, Aaron eventually remembered his purpose there. He allowed the door to loudly shut behind him, breaking Amelia's focus and causing the dancing shards of light to turn into dust that floated upwards. "Um," he shuffled where he stood, almost dropping the box but quickly retrieving it and hugging it closely to his chest, skin once again returning to a red shade that he was sure Amelia would think was his natural skin colour by that point, "I have a request from Ton- Uh, Mr- Mr Stark and um. Yes, right." He held out the box, watching Amelia with wide eyes as she stood up and began to walk towards him, a casual smile playing on her lips as though she wasn't becoming increasingly amused by his fumblings, "this is a gift from Mr Stark, he's organised a, um, a meal for the two of you. Tonight. I'm meant to drive you to it, unless you want me to get a better driver. I only passed my test, like, a year ago so I'd understand if you wanted someone better. I'm sorry." He didn't know what he was apologising for.

She took the box from his hand, pulling off the bow and taking off the lid, one eyebrow raised as she was curious as to what the contents would be. Inside she found an evening gown that was her favourite colour, navy blue. Rhinestones had been embroidered in a beautiful pattern across the skirt of the dress, dazzling under the lighting of the training room. It looked expensive. Whilst dresses like the one in her hands had never really been Amelia's taste, the floor-length gown brought Amelia a delight she'd only ever had when Steve treated her to her favourite type of candy.

"It's beautiful," she said, splaying her hand against the fabric and letting the soft material caress her palm, "I'll have to thank my brother. How long do I have to get ready though?"

Aaron had been admiring the genuine enchantment twinkling in the brunette's eyes that when she looked up and caught him staring he found himself going through another bout of stuttering, taking him a good minute to recover from, eventually he managed to pronounce the right words, "the meal is at eight, so you have an hour," he checked his watch just for good measure, "um, no, sorry, fifty eight minutes. I was close," he tried to joke, forcing a laugh.

"I'll try to be quick then," she replied, laughing along with him though hers sounded much less fake. She walked around him, leaving him alone in the training room where he let out a long breath, eyes returning back to where her shards had once been dancing and remaining there for a fleeting moment.

The brunette didn't take that long, she showered, dried herself and then put the dress on. There wasn't much she could do with her hair and she didn't really have any expertise when it came to make up. She hated mascara anyway, it stayed on her eyes for far too long and left her with panda eyes the next day so she really didn't want to revisit that.

She returned to Aaron who had been waiting by the door, he mumbled out a compliment but she didn't really catch it. When she asked what he'd said he became even shyer and didn't bother repeating himself, simply guiding her to the car and taking her to the destination where Tony was. She expected them to go into the city as that was where all the restaurants she knew about were, but instead, she was taken further into nowhere, stopping beside a field.

Aaron opened the car for her and she stepped out, eyebrows scrunched in confusion as she looked around her. Not spotting anything until she looked behind her, spotting a trail of lights collected in individual jars that created a path which led to a white gazebo in the middle of the field. She had to squint her eyes to get a better look of what was in the gazebo, there was a table and two chairs, with one man stood inside of it and at the side, there seemed to be a violinist. She looked to Aaron but the blond boy just signalled with his hand for her to walk over, not moving away from the car as he'd been given specific instructions not to.

Shrugging her shoulders, she walked closer, feeling cautious as she did so. She didn't bother picking up her dress, allowing it's bottom to get covered in dirt which Tony would definitely berate her for later on. As she got closer she finally recognised the person stood inside the gazebo, not her brother, but Steve Rogers.

He pointed towards her, "you're not the Stark I was expecting."

"Well, there's something I never thought I'd hear you say," Amelia joked, stepping into the gazebo and inspecting her surroundings as though somewhere there'd be some sort of trap. All there was though, was a table with two plates of steaming food. It looked like posh food, the kind of food Sam would complain about, saying that you'd get more fulfilment from a burger and moaning about the price. "What's going on here?" She asked, eyeing the violinist before turning to face Steve, only then taking in his appearance. He was dressed in a black and white suit, wearing a tie and his hair looked freshly cut (something he'd been saying he would do soon, Amelia tried to fight him on it though because the more hair he had, the more there was for her to tug on when they made out).

"I think your brother tricked us into going on that date we've been putting off," Steve revealed, laughing at her brother's antics. Tony had really outdone himself, even Steve was surprised by the kind gesture.

It was clear how much thought her brother had put into it, choosing a setting where they could just be with each other and not having anyone or anything get in the way, as well as choosing somewhere that was beautiful. He'd taken into consideration what both of them had wanted, and then made it ten times better.

"Wow," Amelia breathed out, lost for words. Looking back to Steve, she gave him an obvious scan, appreciating how well he filled the suit he wore. "Wait," she paused, a thought coming to mind, "before I showed up did you think Tony did this for you and him?"

Steve shrugged his shoulder, glad that the twilight made his blush a little less noticeable, "Tony can be _really_ eccentric sometimes."

The brunette laughed, nodding her head in agreement as she moved towards Steve, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and playing lightly with the ends of his hair, sadly unable to curl them around her finger because they were so short. Leaning forward, she kissed his lips, not needing the champagne that was on the table to get her intoxicated. As she pulled away she began to jump slightly, showing her excitement at the fact that they were finally on a date, "so, what do we do now?"

Though Steve had never been on a date before, he still had a better idea on it because he wasn't completely hidden from civilisation growing up like Amelia had been. He pulled away from her, moving over to one of the chairs and pulling it out for her, "first we sit down," she followed his direction, sitting in the seat he'd pulled out and then Steve moved over to the vacant chair, "then we eat, and talk."

"What do we talk about?" She asked, picking up the champagne but Steve pulled it from her hands before she could mess with the cork. Amelia had never opened champagne before and he didn't want to tempt fate by letting her be in charge of pulling the cork out, possibly causing him some sort of injury and ending the date early.

He somehow managed to do it flawlessly, surprising himself as he did so though he tried not to let it show. "We get to know each other," he explained, beginning to pour their drinks.

"But we already know each other, pretty well," she responded, accepting her drink off of Steve and taking an intrepid sip, as she pulled it away from her lips she made a face, "still not as good as a 'Sex on the Beach'."

Steve laughed and nodded his head in agreement as he took his own sip. Moving back to what they'd originally been talking about, he realised that she actually had a point, "I guess we just talk about stuff on our mind then."

"Okay," she said, beginning to think as she cut into a piece of steak. Before she put it in her mouth, she managed to think of something that had been plaguing her mind, remembering that Clint and Laura had just had their third child which she was happy to find out had been named Nathaniel _Pietro_ Barton. "Where do babies come from?"

Steve, who hadn't even taken a bit of his food, choked, "what?"

"You said to speak about what's on our minds!" She argued, leaning back at his shocked reaction.

He recovered, sitting up straighter in his seat and grabbing his knife and fork so he at least had something to do with his hands, "you really don't know where they come from?" He'd had a discussion with Nat after she joined him for a training session that _she_ should be the one to have the sex talk with Amelia, but the redhead had laughed it off and argued that he should be the one to do it seen as he'd be the one actually having sex with her but he felt far too awkward to do it so he put it off, thinking he might ask Thor or even, as a last resort, Tony, to do it.

"I mean, I know they come from people, but like _how_? Have you seen a vagina? It's so small, it can't possibly squeeze out a person but that's what I saw when I watched an episode of Grey's Anatomy, that they come from down there. And here's another thing, how do they even get there?" Amelia thought she was asking life-changing questions, waving her hands around as she spoke, eyes wide, fully expecting Steve to act mind blown by the humongous questions she was asking but instead he had a smile growing larger and larger on his face. "What?"

Steve shook his head side to side, amused, and beginning to look at her like she lit the sky up itself, "only you would talk about this sort of thing whilst we're on a romantic date, eating food." He began to chuckle again, and despite herself, his laughter became contagious.

"Fine, I'll save it for another time if it's not 'suitable', what would you rather talk about? Oh! Have you seen our new room at the facility yet?" She finally put her piece of steak into her mouth after waving it about theatrically.

Steve also ate some of the food, putting the steak on his list of other things he needed to thank Tony for. Once he finished eating his mouthful, he continued their conversation. "I've seen _my_ room," he explained, enunciating the 'my' very clearly, "but I haven't seen _your_ room yet."

Amelia blinked at him, gulping down her food. She didn't bother saying anything though, her look showed quite clearly that though she didn't want to have the argument, she damn well could. Sighing, he stabbed at some of the potatoes on his plate, "do you want to come to mine, or should I move into yours?"

"We'll see which room is bigger and decide from there," she merrily quipped, returning to her delicious meal.

From there, they ate and they talked and most importantly, they were happy. It was great being back in their own little world again and Amelia found solace in the fact that they'd always be able to return to it by going on dates. Because though they had night time, or long mornings spent in bed, there was always a threat of other people intruding on their moments. There, in that gazebo, in the middle of nowhere, it was just a boy and a girl who liked each other a lot. Yes, they'd both gone through tough ordeals, and yes, they were broken in some ways. But they were able to find peace with each other.

That's the thing about them. Both Steve and Amelia had experienced wars. Different kinds of war. Terrible wars. _Life changing_ wars. They were the products of those times, and they were still learning how to cope with what they'd seen, and it was important that they'd got to do so together.

After the meal was finished and their conversation about what they'd do once Sam arrived at the facility was over, Steve stood from his chair and approached Amelia, offering her his hand. "Do you want to dance?"

"I told you I don't know how," she said, feeling shy in front of Steve for the first time in what felt like forever. She'd seen the movies, how romantic dancing could be, but she had no idea how to even begin dancing.

Not taking no for an answer, he grabbed a hold of her hand anyway, the brunette slipping into the grip despite her declining his offer. "Neither do I, we'll just invent a new dance style. The 'two left feet' dance."

Steve's joke broke through her apprehensive nature, smile glowing brightly in the candle-lit field as he brought her down to the grass, smiling gratefully at the violinist as they changed their tune to something they could slow dance to. Carefully he placed one of her arms around his neck, hands ghosting over her skin, making her forget all about the scars that were there. The soldier rested his own hand on her waist, and then he raised up their entwined hands, keeping them that way.

He began to sway, and, whilst laughing because that was the only way Amelia could get through the nervousness she was feeling, the brunette followed. They'd gotten a good rhythm, Steve even doing a trick where he pushed her away slightly and allowed her to spin underneath his arms, pulling her to him mid-spin so that her back was pressed against his chest.

"Whoa!" She cried out, "you liar! You said you didn't know how to dance."

They moved around once again, Amelia returning to the original way they'd been positioned, only that time she was much closer to him. He smiled down at her, and Amelia smiled back, remembering what Natasha had said about how they looked at each other like they could never get bored of looking. Her friend had been correct.

"The fact that you think that's impressive is why I love you," he mused, eyes falling down to her lips which he pulled away from for only a moment before he realised that they were his lips now and that he could kiss them whenever he wanted.

After pecking her, Amelia couldn't help but look down, suddenly bashful, "so, you do love me then?"

He let go of her waist for a moment so that he could raise her head up to face his, seeing in her eyes the monsters of her past rearing their ugly head again. He wasn't annoyed by her worries though, Steve understood that such a thing as 'love' was once upon a time an unachievable dream for Amelia. But that wasn't the case anymore. And Steve really didn't care if he had to say it a hundred times, because even he could never get bored of the overwhelming emotion that flooded his body just at the sight of her, "Freckles, I love you-"

"I love you too," she confessed, knowing they'd said the words before but the words had bubbled out of her so fast she could do nothing to stop them because she did love him, everything about him.

"That's good to know," he laughed, leaning closer to her again. They'd stopped swaying but the violin still continued, the music stirring all of their emotions. "That makes this a lot easier. Amelia Stark," he began to feel like a kid again, remembering how when he was thirteen he'd asked Annabelle Charms if she'd be his girlfriend but had gotten rejected. Now he felt like an old man, far too old to be asking someone to be his girlfriend and yet it was what his heart yearned for, "will you be my-"

"Yes," she interrupted, moving her head closer and allowing her lips to stroke against his, a captivating touch that almost had Steve losing his grip on his thoughts.

"I didn't even finish my question," he chuckled lowly, moving his head away slightly, to which Amelia pouted.

As demanding as ever, the brunette took her hand away from Steve's and placed it on his neck, "I don't care, just kiss me again," and with those words she pulled him closer, smashing his lips on hers in a passionate embrace.

* * *

 **A/N: AND SO ENDS PART TWO! And it ended so happily, it'd certainly be a shame if someone were to ruin that, wouldn't it? I'm so nervous about part three seen as it's my own plot but I hope y'all enjoy it!**

 **To Adam101, thank you!**

 **To .2018, :) back at ya**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, it was two days for me lol**

 **To Pitspee, I uploaded the first chapter hella late and went to bed so technically it was two days for me, but I'm glad it made y'all happy. And I never thought about that! But now I definitely am.**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, sorry! tbh means 'to be honest'! And yus, I love writing Tony being brotherly and we'll hopefully be seeing it playing a big role in Civil War.**

 **To Nasabeast, I know right? I really want to change the title tbh but I don't know what to. I was thinking 'Bloodied Knives and Bloodied Hands' but I'm not feeling it as much as I was feeling Hiraeth when I started writing this. Idk, maybe a title will come to me eventually.**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, this chapter was originally going to follow the last chapter but I figured that moment between Miriam and Amelia was such an important exchange that it deserved it's own chapter, as does Steve and Amelia's date.**

 **And a merry thank you to everyone that read the chapter!**


	45. Part Three

**Part Three**

* * *

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Loos but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll.

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

\- ' _Invictus', William Ernest Henley_

* * *

 _ **Things were going well**_ **, Amelia hated those words, every time she thought them something bad seemed to happen.**

 **But things really had been going well.**

 **Finally, she'd achieved a life that she never thought was possible. She had friends, a family, a boyfriend. Amelia Stark was loved, and whilst that felt great, it wasn't long until she had to learn the price that came with love. A price she couldn't possibly pay.**


	46. Chapter Fourty-Three

**CHAPTER FOURTY-THREE**

* * *

" _It's hard to have a heart when you've stopped so many others."_

― _**K. M. Howell**_

* * *

Amelia Stark used to have dreams of the world ending, not in a bang, not in a whimper, but with one scream at a time. And finally, though her path had strayed slightly, she was working on achieving that dream once more.

Captain America and the Black Widow were down on the ground, Natasha unconscious with a puddle of blood seeping from beneath her body, melding with her hair and making her usual red locks darker. On top of a stack of boxes was Sam's discarded body, half of it hanging over the edge, a clipped wing on the ground. A few metres in front of her Captain America was kneeling on the ground, a black energy surrounding his body and forcing him to kneel, the ground beneath his feet cracking as he tried to fight against it, tried to reach Amelia.

It wasn't his Amelia anymore though. The girl in front of him might have looked like his Amelia, but the kind, little, Stark was gone, replaced by an angel of death. With one hand raised she crushed her hand together, Steve suffering the consequences of the action as it felt like his body was being crushed by iron itself.

Their defeat had come far too swiftly, all of them unintentionally holding back as they faced off against Amelia whilst the brunette let her chaos loose on all of them. Black had encompassed her body, spreading out from her like terrifying wings and bullets made from her power had torn through the air, their devastation loud within the emptiness of the warehouse they were in. It had seemed far too easy for the brunette, proving that she wasn't born to be soft and quiet, she'd always been a child meant for shattering the world and making it shake at her fingertips.

"Freckles," he gasped out, the fond name coming out with an aching tone. Again he tried to stand, managing to lift only his head. The girl before him was almost unrecognisable, yet entirely familiar at the same time. Freckles like constellations still scattered her olive skin, black hair still cascaded over her shoulders, and the monster still held raven wing black eyes. But it wasn't his Amelia. "Stop-" His word was cut short as she finally relinquished the hold on him.

For a moment he thought that perhaps he'd managed to get through to her, managed to remind the brunette of the girl she used to be enough that she was able to fight through whatever monstrosity had taken a hold of her.

She approached him slowly, hips swaying and heels clicking, the only sound in the warehouse. Amelia stopped once she was in front of him, kneeling down so that she could reach for his head, pulling it up by the strands of his hair and forcing Steve to look at her blank expression.

"Stop fighting," she urged, tone of voice entirely cold as she looked down at him with disgust. Steve knew how pathetic he looked, how _defeated_ he looked. He'd allowed her to openly attack him, never fighting back and it was Natasha and Sam who'd suffered because of him. "It was cruel of me to do this to you, but you left me with no option. You still don't seem to understand it."

Suddenly, she leaned forward. And for a moment Steve thought she was going to kiss him, and he hated how much he desired her to do so, despite everything that she'd done. Instead though, the monster stuck out her tongue and leisurely licked a trail of blood that was falling from his forehead after he'd hit it when colliding with one of the many metal boxes within the warehouse.

"How many times do I have to tell you, Captain America," she said his name like it was the best joke she'd ever heard, "all I crave now is blood. Stop chasing after me, or else you'll become my next pray."

"You wouldn't do that," he refused, an adamance in his voice that somehow reached through the weakened and hoarse voice. "This isn't you Amelia, you're not-"

"A weapon?" She interrupted again, dropping his head back down to the ground, letting it bash against the cement but Amelia wasn't at all concerned. "A monster?" She stood back up and took a few steps away from him. Dramatically, she thrust out her hands, pointing to the two unconscious bodies, "explain them then!" Her cool composure had drifted away with a venomous fury as she just became more and more agitated by Steve's denial."I was always a weapon, you just blinded me for a moment. But now I see it, I see what I was always meant to do. Kill. That was all I was meant to do."

"You didn't do anything to me though," Steve argued back, shuffling himself around so that he was balancing on his hands, "you never even touched me."

"Is that what it will take, to make you believe?" The question was uncharacteristically quiet, and for a second she sounded more like Amelia.

Much to her annoyance, he shook his head, "this was never you, and I know this will never be you. Just tell me why, Amelia, tell me why and I can help." He tried to reach her, voice pleading for her to just admit that this was all pretend, that there was something else going on.

The brunette frowned, pursing her lips and trying to make the expression go away. She walked back over to Steve and from her pockets, she pulled out a knife. Steve saw the flash of steel and he tried to react, but the surprise of seeing Amelia wielding the weapon and aiming it at him had him distracted enough for her to push him up by the shoulder and drive it into his stomach.

He was sure he'd seen it though. A single second of hesitation before she closed her eyes and drove the blade into him.

One of his hands moved to her shoulder whilst another wrapped around the hand she was using to push the object into him, mouth falling open and a pained, guttural, gust of air left him as he started to breathe heavily. He winced, trying to ignore the pain from her next attack. She tried to move away from him, done with her attack, but he kept her exactly where she was. Opening his eyes again, blue connected with obsidian black.

"Please don't go," Steve begged, not caring about how weak he sounded because it was Amelia. His girl. He couldn't live without her. No, he probably could live without her, but he never wanted to have to. "Please," he spluttered the word out as blood began to paint his chapped lips a startling red.

"Why can't you believe that this isn't what I want anymore? Is it so hard for you to imagine that darkness has always been my home, are you really so self-centred to think that you ever were?" Again, the brunette mocked him with her laugh, the chuckle no longer a light tune but a cruel snicker. It wasn't Amelia. "When all you know is fire, that means you're meant to watch the world burn," The brunette said the words almost sadly, not to Steve, but to herself, reminding herself of the wisdom in those words.

His hold on her finally lessened and she stood up, finally free from his grasp. It was time for her to leave. She'd done enough damage.

"I think," he began just as she was about to turn away, "I _know_ , that you still love me. And I know you have a reason for doing all of this, and whatever this is, I promise we'll fix it. So it's okay, I forgive you."

Amelia didn't want his forgiveness though, and once he finished speaking she looked at him with a gaze the shade of rocks atop ferocious lava. That's always how things had been for her though, he had always been the kind of man people wrote sonnets for. Steve was gentle, kind and _light_. Far too soft for the shards of glass that made her, all the sharp juts and splinters, even her lips were made of grating sandpaper with a wicked tongue poised battle-ready behind them. She'd always unintentionally caught his heart on the edges of herself. She was always going to end up hurting him, one way or the other.

"Love," she sneered at the word. "Love was just a lie I told myself to make the nights easier to sleep through, you were the perfect lie, Steve. That's all you ever were to me."

"Maybe when you can look me in the eye whilst saying that, I'll believe you," Steve laughed despite the pain, believing in the deepest depths of his heart that he was right and despite all the evidence he had so far showing that Amelia really had changed sides, from the letter to the therapy notes, and the last words of Milo Hudson, because he also had plenty of other evidence that showed she wouldn't so easily step into the role of 'monster'. The nights they'd spent together, all the longing kisses they'd shared, _every single moment_ that he'd been given the privilege to stand in her light. They were all the proof he needed.

Steve had always been aware of the war that followed wherever her feet tread, always known any song she sang would be a wolf's howl, always known she was a warrior with armour readied beneath her skin. And he'd admit that she made him crave such a pain, he'd liked how her darkness had felt against his skin, like satin and silk. He'd always known she was his place of worship, a warrior strong, a goddess of the hunt, a prayer that brought him to his knees. He's always known she was meant for greatness, but it had never really been his definition of greatness.

He'd never known it would end like this.

He'd never known that beneath the satin and silk brushing his skin were sharp teeth at his throat, never known that it wasn't just her songs that were part wolf, never known that her siren features were born from thunder and battle. He had _no idea_ that he was just another Icarus flying to the sun, she was the sun, she was his morning sunrise, she was his fire, and she burnt down his wings. Yes, she was indeed a Goddess, but she was more Hades than Zeus, more Hela than Odin. He'd never known just how blinding her light could truly be, it had never been a vanquisher of shadows, but a veil to keep their plottings hidden. He'd never known that the shadows had always been there.

Amelia had though. She was always aware, which is why it was so easy for her to turn away, not being pulled back from the lies she'd always known were lies. She left Steve Roger's that day as a lost disciple, broken on the floor, leaving behind what had once been a fairytale for something different, for a life of bloodied knives and bloodied hands, a life that had always been hers.

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 **A/N: Like I said at the end of the last chapter, it'd be a shame if someone were to shatter Amelia and Steve's happiness :)**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, yay, I'm glad the chapter made you happy. Sorry if this one doesn't (I'd be worried if it did) but I'm glad you agree about Aaron! He's such a baby honestly I love him.**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, she finds out where babies come from soon! But yay I'm so glad you enjoyed the date, it had to be perfect after all the waiting they did and I'm pretty happy with the end result ^^**

 **To Sam0728, yep, they're such a great couple, this chapter totally doesn't ruin any of that...**

 **To Undertaker's Hattress, yus! Bless Tony so much, he's really coming into his role as big brother.**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, she is affected but Amelia tries not to dwell on it. A part of her already believed all the stuff Miriam said to her before she'd said those things. It will definitely come into play later on though.**

 **To ArtemisLuna85, one of my favourite things is that they didn't get the perfect 'I love you' confession even in the perfect setting because that just summarises their relationship. It's weird and all in the wrong order but that's what makes it so perfect.**

 **To Guest, I haven't planned it yet so I can't say for sure, but I don't know if Mia will actually be on Steve's side during the accords. Obviously, she'll always side with him because he's her man, but she's committed so much death just on her own that she might agree with there being a little bit more control put in place to make sure they don't hurt anyone innocent. But then again, she's been controlled before and had to do terrible things because of it. Yeah, I've still got a lot of thinking to do and nothing is set in stone just yet :)**

 **To BrittStar1199, it's really heartbreaking for me rn reading all these reviews that are like 'they're so cute and adorable etc' as I'm posting this chapter, I feel guilty lol. AND I'M SO GLAD THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT IS VISIBLE AND NOT MESSY THANK YOU SO MUCH!**

 **To peoplers, chapter 46! Though I'm afraid in this chapter shit hits the fan, I'm sorry.**

 **To Hellawoez, who knows, maybe Amelia will pick herself**

 **And a big thank you to everyone that read the chapter! WELCOME TO PART THREE! YOU'RE ALL GOING TO REGRET LETTING ME MAKE MY OWN PLOT FOR THIS!**


	47. Chapter Fourty-Four

**CHAPTER FOURTY-FOU** **R**

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" _The trouble is, you think you have time."_

― _**Jack Kornfield**_

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 **ONE WEEK EARLIER...**

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Amelia was laid down on top of a mahogany couch with her hands clasped together on top of her stomach, she was looking up at the familiar white roof of Rebecca's home with the woman in question sat on another couch opposite her, pen and paper in hand as she finished taking notes on the last few things the brunette had been talking about, her eyebrows scrunched together, the words she wrote not something that brought her happiness.

The professor sighed into the silence, biting the inside of her lip as she placed down her pen and looked at Amelia who was deep in thought. "Well besides that," Rebecca brought her voice up slightly so she sounded more positive as she changed the subject, Amelia turned her head over so that she was looking to her therapist, fully open to changing the subject as well. "You've been doing a lot of training with your powers, how is that going?"

The change in Amelia's demeanour from negative to positive was very clear as soon as Rebecca mentioned her powers. The brunette slowly sat up, concentrating on doing an open display of her powers. Every piece of furniture in the room began to shake, proceeding to levitate not moments later. Rebecca looked around, impressed and also slightly fearful for her precious paraphernalia. A smirk bent Amelia's lips upwards slightly as she watched Rebecca's amazement and so she decided to add more too it, casting balls of light to appear in the air. At first they looked like stars that Rebecca could easily reach out and hold, she was almost tempted to before they started to transform, shaping themselves into little birds that began to swoop around the floating pieces of furniture, one bird even passing her cheek and flooding that one spot with the kind of warmth she'd only ever gotten from cheek kisses from her son.

"So, good, then?" Rebecca said as she returned her attention back to the grinning Amelia.

"Oh yeah," she didn't mind showing off and a happiness had bloomed in her due to them changing the subject onto something she found much more fun to talk about.

Having Wanda in the same facility as she was a great help when it came to her powers. They both had very similar powers though hers was cosmic manipulation and Wanda's was energy manipulation. Still, they'd spent a lot of time training together, receiving tips and tricks and evolving what they were capable of, yet still, it seemed like they'd only reached the surface on what their powers could do. Vision had also been helpful, seen as he had the mind stone on his forehead he had a connection with Wanda's powers and he also had some knowledge that was of use to Amelia.

Once she felt she'd fully shown off her powers, the birds melted into dust that left through the open window and she returned all the furniture back onto the floor. Rebecca smiled gratefully at her for not damaging anything, then she looked back at her notes, reading through them to figure out what they should next talk about.

"And what about your birthday? It'll be your first one soon, right?"

"One week and three days, and it's my second one actually," Amelia supplied in confirmation, nodding her head as her cattish smirk disappeared, softening into a straight line. "Tony's planning the party, it's apparently going to be this big thing with loads of people, which I'm not really looking forward too, but there's going to be a chocolate fountain!" She added the last part, realising she'd sounded rather ungrateful for the efforts her brother was going to. Amelia knew the party would be fun, it was Tony's speciality and he'd given her so many options for food whilst he took care of the rest. Plus, he'd told her that birthdays were meant to be celebrated with big parties.

But, if she were really being honest, Amelia just wanted to spend it with Steve. A day in bed, that was the best way she could think of to celebrate surviving another year. To celebrate it with the person who'd helped her survive it. That's how she'd spent her first birthday, with Steve, Sam and Natasha. It's was when she was given her precious leather jacket which she always seemed to be wearing, even when in her therapy session.

Realising her slip up, Amelia quickly gestured towards Rebecca and rushed out her words, "which you're invited to by the way."

"Thank you," Rebecca said gratefully. She closed the notebook in her lap and put the book on the coffee table next to her couch as it was clear their deep and meaningful topics were over. "I'll have to check my schedule, I'll let you know during our session next week-"

"About that," Amelia interrupted, beginning to shuffle in her seat which had Rebecca raising an eyebrow as she instantly recognised the movement as a show of anxiety. "I think this will be my last session."

Both of Rebecca's eyebrows were thrown up in surprise, "what? A-Are you sure?" That was certainly not something she'd been expecting. She pulled off her brown glasses, the same sort of shade as the suit she wore, folding them in her hands as she looked back at Amelia more composed. "After everything we just talked about, I don't know if that's a good idea."

Amelia agreed with Rebecca, hearing her words as they were something she'd already thought over. "I know, but I think that that's something I need to go through myself, you know? We've been doing this for a while now and I think I've come far enough to be able to get through everything myself now. I don't run away. I'm completely honest with Steve. And I'm not haunted by my past anymore, I accept it now. So… yeah," she shrugged her shoulders. "I think I'm ready to go at life."

At first, Rebecca was completely lost for words. Amelia had shown no signs of making such a decision, though she supposed the brunette had seemed quite nervous from the start of their meeting though the doctor had assumed it was over what they'd been discussing previously, now she realised that there was something much different playing on her mind.

"Well…" Rebecca was still struggling for words, trying to decide quickly whether she should allow Amelia to follow her own heart. In the end, it came down to the fact that Amelia was an all in or all out kind of creature. If she'd set her mind on finishing the therapy sessions then Rebecca couldn't actually do anything about it. She stood up. "If that's what you really want, then I wish you the best."

The blonde put her hand out for the brunette to shake and Amelia did so enthusiastically, glad that her therapist didn't start spouting out all her faults and bringing up numerous reasons why she should be sticking with therapy. She'd had the discussion in detail with Steve first and he'd been supportive enough, helping her organise all her thoughts and feelings on the matter, including all the things she was scared would happen if she stopped the therapy session, but after realising that the worst thing that could happen was a panic attack, Amelia realised it was time for her weekly visits with Rebecca to end so she could make more room in her life for other things.

"It's not like this is the last time we'll see each other," Amelia offered as some sort of attempt to comfort any worries Rebecca might have, "I'll see you at my party if you manage to get the time free?"

"Of course," Rebecca agreed chipperly, "you never know, we might even end up bumping into one another before that," she laughed, trying to continue Amelia's positive outlook. It did feel like a bit of a shame for Rebecca to have their sessions ending as Amelia had been her most interesting case, but it didn't have to end altogether. The therapist decided that she'd try her best to keep a close eye on the ex-assassin.

Dropping her hand, Amelia turned to check the couch to make sure nothing had fallen out of her leather jacket, and then she turned back to face Rebecca. As she placed her hands into her pocket and lifted her shoulders slightly, she cocked her head to the side, "well, I'll see you later then." The goodbye felt much different to others, somehow, despite them repeating that it wouldn't be the last time they saw each other, it felt final.

"See you soon," Rebecca bid adieu casually, lifting her shoulders the same way as Amelia began to leave.

Unexpectedly she walked over to the window, stopping just outside of it and bursting into laughter as she spun her body around, "I'm just kidding," she guffawed good-naturedly and even Rebecca couldn't help but find her little prank quite amusing, releasing a giggle that was satisfying to the younger Stark's ears as she exited via the door.

Her feet sped up once she'd left the room so she could quickly make her way to the car that she knew would be waiting for her outside. It was easily recognisable, parked amongst a lot of cheaper, less shiny vehicles outside of the working-class building. She slipped into the back seat of it, eyes instantly connecting with blue.

"Hey," Steve greeted, leaning forwards so that he could give her a quick peck on the cheek, closing a folder in his lap as he did so and moving it aside. "How did the session go?"

"Good," Amelia responded as she got more comfortable in her seat and shut the door. "She seemed to be a bit reluctant about me finishing the sessions at the beginning but she eventually agreed."

"So you're officially done?"

"I'm officially done," the grin on her face made it quite clear to her boyfriend just how proud she was of herself for making enough progress with her mental health that she was capable of quitting therapy. She was content with not being in Pierce's grasps anymore, but the only thing that brought her true happiness was knowing that his effects on her were gone.

Steve reached out for her hand, wrapping it around his own and bringing it to rest on his knee so he could pat on it with his other, "I'm very proud of you." His words had a blush appearing on her cheeks but Steve didn't really care how cheesy the words sounded, he felt like those words were important enough that they needed to be declared.

"I love you." Those were the only words she could think of as she stared at Steve. It was only a month after their first date together and she was surprised to still find her heart skipping beats just from his presence being beside her, it was something she'd thought she'd get used to but so far there had been no change and she didn't really mind it all that much. Leaning forward she stole another kiss, adding it to her collection that was growing in the thousands. "So, are you ready?"

He paused, smile faltering, and he released a long breath of air, as though he was a balloon being squashed beneath a heavy weight. "As ready as I'll ever be," he looked over to the driver that was already watching them through the interior mirror, and he nodded the head, receiving one back from the driver who then started the car and proceeded to set them off on their journey.

A nervousness reared its head in the back of his mind, electrocuting his every thought and causing them to seemingly blacken. Amelia's hand squeezed his, pulling him out of his darkened thoughts and when his eyes fell to hers she was holding a comforting smile that he accepted, looking apologetic as he realised how easily he'd let his anxieties get a hold of him.

He'd managed to distract himself whilst he was waiting with his next mission that he'd be going on in a few days. It was another Hydra mission, possibly. The mission would be simply recon but it did mean that he'd be away from Amelia for a night which was something he still needed to tell her about. The soldier didn't want to tell her about the mission itself because it included Hydra. He wasn't lying to her though, if she asked him about it, he'd probably tell her the details, but other than that he didn't want to include her in anything else to do with Hydra. They'd already done their damage on her.

The ride wasn't even all that long, not supplying Steve with enough time to gather up his nerves that seemed to scatter around his feet like unwinded string, ready to trip him the moment he tried to walk away.

Amelia got out of the car first, Steve doing another few inhales and exhales of air before he followed her lead and left the car. He moved over to the driver's side whilst Amelia walked around the car to get onto the pavement. "We'll be about an hour so feel free to go take a break somewhere," he said to his driver who smiled back as a gesture of thanks.

His partner returned to his side and grabbed a hold of his hand, the pair turning to face the hospital they were in front of. Amelia's eyes strayed over to Steve who was squinting slightly at the building, his lips set in a straight line that every now and again seemed to bend downwards. "We can do this again another day you know," she wrapped her free hand around his arm and shuffled herself closer to him so that she could rest her head on his shoulder and peer up at him, as well as get a great view of his edged jawline.

"I know," he sighed, "but I keep putting it off so we really should just do it today."

Amelia nodded her head in agreement with his thoughts, trying her best to be supportive though deep down she wanted to get the meeting over and done with. "Now or never, right?"

"Right." He agreed, marching forward into the hospital with his girl at his side, only stopping when a nurse asked who they were visiting. "Peggy Carter," he'd responded, a softness charming his tone that Amelia always felt a little jealous of, only, she didn't really know what jealousy was. All she ever felt when he spoke of Peggy Carter with his usual fondness was a tightening around her heart like a taloned hand was wrapping itself around the organ and thoughts that always centred around 'why didn't he talk about me like that?' She always hated it when she felt it though, and she always made sure to remind herself that if he really did love this Peggy Carter then he wouldn't be with her, and that would release the clawed hands grip slightly.

Steve had never really coined on to Amelia's jealousy. When he first had started telling her stories of his past she'd always light up, always put her total attention on him and listen with the utmost care until the very end of his tales. During one of them he'd mentioned Peggy in passing, he'd felt an ache in his chest that had stopped him talking about her but the more tales he managed to share with Amelia, the easier memories became to recite. And eventually, so did the stories of Peggy.

They'd had one night in the Avenger's facility where she'd asked about Peggy again, remembering that name from the odd times he'd talked about her, Steve had mentioned their closeness. He was a bit apprehensive at first, instantly thinking that perhaps it wouldn't be right telling his current girl about his past would-be girl but Amelia didn't seem to mind, engaging him the same way she would all the other times Steve talked about his past. And eventually their talk led to a decision being made that Amelia should meet his would-be girlfriend, not out of jealousy or a desire to show off that she'd bagged Steve, but because she could see just how important Peggy was to Steve, and if she was important to him than that meant Peggy needed to also become important to Amelia.

The wrinkled woman that was laid in bed in the hospital room still looked a lot like her former self. Amelia had noticed that with most old people it was like they'd evolved or something, their bodies becoming drowned in wrinkles and other things that weren't there when they were younger. But Peggy Carter still had a quality about her, even in her old age. Yes, there were plenty of wrinkles, but she was not drowning in them, they were just like Amelia's scars in a way, proof that she had lived a long and wonderful life.

A nurse went in first, stirring her awake and gently conversing with her, explaining how she had guests there to see her, as well as answering all the questions the woman had when she woke up. Amelia was slightly confused at first as Peggy asked where she was, seemingly frightened though it all melted away into shock as the old woman's eyes strayed over to Steve Rogers who had been standing patiently in the doorway.

His face brightened up considerably, all nerves seeming to disappear and as Amelia noticed that she felt the familiar claw around her heart which she had to quickly dismiss.

"Oh my," Peggy breathed out, hand reaching out and Steve took it as a sign to approach the bed. "You're- You're alive." Tears began to fill her eyes as she finally got to touch him, he was really there. "Steve," she cried out as he hugged her, the woman's body beginning to shake, a mix of happiness and shock completely pulling her out of the daze she'd previously been in. She proceeded to weep, and Steve held her throughout it all.

"I'm here, Peggy, I'm here," he soothed, the words sounding oddly rehearsed to Amelia's own ears. Like he'd said them so many times that they'd lost their meaning to him.

The nurse left there, giving Amelia a departing smile. "You've got her on a good day," she revealed though the words were meaningless to the brunette.

She moved further into the room, joining Steve's side even though the brunette felt like she was intruding on a private moment. Amelia felt possessive, which was a first. The adoration in both of their words causing that claw to tighten and control her actions as she placed a hand on Steve's back, reminding the soldier that she was there.

He pulled away from Peggy, looking to Amelia and then back at Peggy. "I've got someone I really want you to meet," he revealed, wiping at his own eyes as he placed his own hand on to Amelia's back. A simple gesture that she was very grateful for as it made Amelia feel a little bit more welcome in the room.

Peggy looked over to the person beside Steve though she couldn't see them clearly due to the tears in her eyes. She had to reach over to a box that was placed beside her bed, pulling from it a tissue that she could use to wipe at her eyes, she pulled from it the last tissue in the box though she couldn't remember any other time she'd used one.

"Hello," Amelia greeted awkwardly, waving her hand towards Peggy.

"Hello," she politely greeted back, sniffling. Peggy looked between the pair, observing the way they stood so closely together, Steve relaxing into her side and the woman doing the same to him. It didn't take her long to figure out they were close. Very close. "And you are…?" She didn't ask the question rudely, her words being accompanied by a soft expression as she directed it to Amelia.

The brunette looked at Steve, wondering if it was okay for her to talk to Peggy but her soldier was busy staring at Peggy with a forlorn look twinkling in his eyes. Turning back, she forced a smile and, as rehearsed, put out her hand, "I'm Amelia Stark."

Peggy reached out a shaking hand and received Amelia's, "Amelia Stark? Howard's daughter?"

She recognised the name though she'd never met the man. Amelia nodded, "the very one."

Peggy's eyebrows scrunched together as she looked over the girl once again, beginning to recognise some of her features as Howard's, they had the same hair colour and eyes. "I… you look older than I expected."

Amelia raised one of her own eyebrows in confusion at the statement, wondering how old she was supposed to look even though it had been almost twenty-six years since she was kidnapped. Steve jumped in there, directing the conversation somewhere else as he sat down in the only chair available at Peggy's bedside, getting closer to his old friend. "I really wanted you to meet her," he suddenly became more nervous, licking at his lips. His hand that had been pressed against her back had slipped down so that he was holding her hand, and he looked to it before speaking again, "me and Amelia, we're dating."

He didn't throw the words out carelessly and once they were said, all of his attention was put onto the elderly woman's reaction. She looked at Steve, then Amelia, then back to Steve. A smile blossoming on her face, much to the couple's surprise. "Oh, that's wonderful."

She seemed genuinely happy for Steve, Amelia noted, unsure if she'd be able to afford him the same reaction if it was her in Peggy's place.

"Have you danced yet?" Peggy made sure the question was open to the both of them, including Amelia who was actually acting more shy than Steve was.

"Yeah, we have," it was hard to keep the smile from spreading across his face, glad that Peggy was taking the news so well as he'd been harbouring guilt for a long time, ever since he fell in love with Amelia. He'd known that he and Peggy could never become a thing, she'd already lived her life, gotten married, had kids. But that promise he'd made to her before crashing the jet had been keeping him back for a long time and he'd find himself late at night thinking about whether or not he'd betrayed Peggy in some way by loving Amelia. He was happy to put those worries to rest, once and for all. "Though neither of us were very good at it."

"Well, practice makes perfect," Peggy responded with a positive, her words sounding like aged wisdom coming from her lips. "How did Howard take the news that you're dating his daughter? Oh, and Tony, I bet he's very protective of you," she said to Amelia who shrugged her shoulders in response, unable to move past the confusion she felt over Peggy mentioning her father, as though he was alive still.

"Tony's actually the one who organised our first date," Steve revealed, earning a surprised chuckle from Peggy in response.

The woman threw her head back into her pillows, the notion baffling her as the little boy she'd known wasn't the type to create such kind gestures though she'd _always_ said he had a heart of gold hidden in him somewhere. "Well, now, that is a surprise."

"It was very romantic," Amelia piped up, trying her best to contribute to the conversation and not alienate herself, "he set up this gazebo and a violinist and a _wonderful_ meal."

"It sounds very romantic," Peggy mused, looking at Steve with a knowing smile, "that sounds just like your style, Steve. I can't wait to hear all about it, but first, would you mind getting me a drink?"

Nervously, the soldier looked between Amelia and Peggy, not making any move to leave his chair.

The elder woman noticed his actions and laughed at him, "we're not going to fight over you Steve, you can leave us alone for a minute or two. Right?"

"Yeah," Amelia agreed immediately, though an afterthought reared in her mind of just how awkward it might become if Steve did leave. Though it was just for a glass of water, which meant he wouldn't be gone for too long, he'd be back before she knew it. Of course she'd be fine.

Eventually he relinquished, letting go of both Amelia's and Peggy's hand so he could remove himself to the seat. "Fine, but don't grill her too much," he warned Peggy, making Amelia's nerves jump up once again even though the elder woman waved him off, responding with just a scoff as he left the room.

Once the back of the soldier was gone from their sights, Peggy gestured over to the seat at her bedside for Amelia to sit in. She did so reluctantly and cautiously, hands immediately falling into her lap and beginning to play with a loose bit of string on her torn skinny jeans.

"He loves you," Peggy noted, bringing Amelia's attention away from the string.

"Yeah, and I love him too," Amelia was beginning to feel like she had to prove herself but the look on Peggy's face after her reply, told Amelia that she believed her.

"Good," Peggy looked away from the door, a soft smile on her lips that seemed permanently upturned, not the usual grouch Amelia was used to seeing on old people. "If you love him then I already know what you'll say, but just listen to me for a moment, please." Amelia nodded for Peggy to continue, trying to give the woman as much respect as she was receiving. "Steve, he's been through so much, and it truly is a miracle that he's here. Don't hurt him."

Peggy kept her words short, straight to the point, which Amelia appreciated and she showed it by giving a resolute nod, "I could never hurt Steve," she told Peggy with an unwavering determination in her voice.

"I know you probably believe that," the older woman replied, tone turning much more sober as her mind went back to that fateful day when she lost Steve. Before he'd gone into the waters she'd truly believed that they'd go out for that dance, even after he was gone, she'd still gone to the bar and waited for him. "Belief alone isn't enough sometimes though. I just want to make sure that you don't have any doubts about Steve, sometimes he can be stupid, giving you his whole heart and leaving nothing for himself. That's what makes him more susceptible to pain. You need to take care of him because more often than not, he'll forget he needs care just as much as everyone else. So if you do have any doubts, I suggest you leave him now, for his sake."

To anyone else, Peggy's words could have probably come across as cruel. But the woman wasn't questioning Amelia personally, she was just showing her concerns about her would-be lover, a man she wanted nothing but a soft epilogue for.

Amelia paused for a moment, thinking over in her mind Peggy's words and all her thoughts on the matter. She looked down at her hands, the same hands Steve had held a hundred times and she hoped he would hold them a hundred times more. "When me and Steve met, I was in a very bad place. But he saved me. He showed me that I was deserving of love and he gave me a chance to change my life, to change my fate. Ever since then all I've wanted is to repay that favour, and I'm still waiting for that chance." Looking back up at Peggy, she had a much more determined expression, a fire lighting up her once bare ink-black eyes. "What I'm trying to say is that, even if it costs me my life, I'll keep him as safe as he makes me feel. I promise."

"Your life?" Her voice had started to sound like a wheeze, as Peggy spluttered out a cough. "My dear girl," Peggy looked at her sympathetically, "that's not love, that's a tragedy."

"It's the same thing, isn't it?"

Her question was drowned beneath coughs, Peggy bending her body slightly as she choked, her hand that was holding a tissue being raised to her mouth until the storm in her throat passed. And when she looked back to Amelia, she became first confused, then scared. "Who are you?"

"What?"

"Who are you?!" The second time Peggy asked the question it was overflowing with fear, her arms reaching out in front of her so she could protect herself from the intruder, beginning to flail them around in hopes of attacking her, seeing the girl with black holes for eyes and mind instantly seeing a threat. "Get away from me!" She didn't know where she was, she couldn't remember, her brain felt so _clouded_.

Hearing the ruckus, nurses began to flood into the room, shoving Amelia out of the way after she stood up away from Peggy, leading her to stand outside of the room. Her eyes fell on an approaching Steve, his expression immediately folding into concern as he saw the scene and heard the screams.

"Steve, I- I don't- I don't know what happened, one minute we were talking and- and then she forgot me or… I don't know," Amelia looked to her partner with panic melted into her features, believing that she'd somehow played a part in what had happened and was about to meet with Captain America's rage.

But Steve didn't seem angry at all. He sighed, dropping the cup of water he'd gotten down onto a table in the waiting room outside of her door. In order to offer her some solace, he took Amelia's hand, feeling like a fool because he should have told her beforehand. He'd thought that he'd be able to get away with it, thought that they'd be able to do the introduction without her illness getting in the way. Even after all the visits he had with Peggy, he always still hoped that things would change.

"It's okay," he said to soothe her but his words fell beneath her panicked ones as she told him that things were _not_ okay and that she was sorry for whatever she did. He shook his head, "it really isn't your fault. She has a disease called Alzheimer's, it makes her forget things," his words finally broke through to her, making her mouth fall open. "I'm the one who should be sorry, I should have told you before we went in there."

Amelia observed his expression carefully, trying to find what the right words to say would be but she'd never been in such a predicament before.

A nurse came out of the room, Peggy's screams beginning to recede. She was calling out for someone, her husband. "Excuse me," Steve stopped the nurse before she could walk past them, "I'm sorry, it's just… Peggy seems to be forgetting things a lot quicker than before, is she okay?"

The nurse put on a smile that even Amelia could sense was rehearsed, "you don't know." Amelia grew angry at the statement, sensing Steve's sadness before the nurse had even begun to speak. If she had bad news then the nurse could have quite easily explained it to her soldier in a much nicer way. The only reason the brunette wasn't yelling at her was because she also wanted to know about Peggy's disease and how it was affecting her. "Her brain is deteriorating a lot faster than we first thought, we're not sure how much time she has left. I thought the other nurse would have told you."

Steve didn't have a response to what the nurse told him, he just became frozen where he stood, not noticing the extra sympathetic smile the nurse gave him as a departing gift. The only thing he was aware of was Amelia wrapping him up in her arms as tightly as she could, and the fact that he was going to lose Peggy soon. Then it really would just be him.

* * *

 **A/N: Things will slowly but surely make more sense to you guys I promise, this part includes a lot guessing and surprises that I hope aren't a tremendous bore to you all. At least I've finally had Peggy meet Amelia, Peggy also plays a big role in Part Three so, keep your eye on that :) You'll find out what they were talking about at the start of the chapter soon too.**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, I TOTALLY FORGOT TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION ABOUT THE QUOTES I AM SO SORRY! When it comes to quote picking it can be dependant on a lot of things, sometimes it's stuff to do with the plot, sometimes it's stuff to do with a character (I normally only do it for Amelia and I can't from the top of my head remember a time where I picked a quote to represent someone like Steve), and then sometimes it's something I personally think you guys would benefit knowing whilst reading the story in case I haven't purposely said something. So, let's take this chapters quote as an example cause it's here, "the trouble is, you think you have time." This quote has two meanings, on one hand it means the relationship between Peggy and Steve, but it's also supposed to hint towards this week Amelia and Steve have. It'll be fleeting and it won't end well. It's just seven days, no time at all, and yet they have no idea how their week will end.**

 **To Pitspee, oh my god I have no idea, I suppose it depends on the situation? Amelia clearly gets jealous when she see's Steve treating anyone the way he treats her, like when he offered Wanda and Pietro a chance, she was all like 'hell no that's OUR thing' and in this chapter she shows she sometiems gets jealous of the love Steve feels towards Peggy but she tries not to let them control her. Whereas, say Amelia and Steve were in a bar and someone up to Mia and started flirting, I reckon Steve would get hella possessive. He'd say it's because Mia's innocent and doesn't want people taking advantage of her, but really it's because she's _his_ girl. So... Steve is the answer I guess? Now I really want to write a scene like that in but I don't know when... Possibly part four...**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, a lot of bad shit has happened and I wish I could tell you about it but spoilers**

 **To Sam0728, I'M SORRY PLEASE DON'T HATE ME**

 **To Guest, I can confirm it was not a dream**

 **To .2018, they WERE happy, then stuff happened.**

 **To Psycho-Barbie16, it was great to hear from you! I'm glad you've liked all the stuff so far, and I'm sorry for the last chapter!**

 **To BrittStar1199, I have not seen Merlin so I have no idea if she is or isn't, though I do know whether or not she's becoming evil but I can't tell you cause spoilers**

 **To LovelyThorn, you never told me if your pulse was okay? Do I need to call an ambulance?**

 **To kuppcake, thank you! I was hella nervous on starting part three this way and I'm experimenting a little on how I timeline my stories. Hopefully it will work out well!**

 **And a big thank you to everyone that read the chapter!**


	48. Chapter Fourty-Five

**CHAPTER FOURTY-FIVE**

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" _I've become your heartbeat making you mine, upon every kiss of passion our souls shine."_

― _**Munia Khan**_

* * *

Steve and Amelia had found themselves once again in a stolen moment, lips brushing across each others in a passionate lock, more than just saliva being swapped between each other as their emotions seemed to be passed as well. All of their want. All of their desire. Every inch of their love for one another was being shared.

They were hiding inside their bedroom like a couple of teenagers, Steve having to drag Amelia into it after she'd initiated a kiss when they were inside the training room. Thor, Vision, Wanda, Natasha and Sam had also been there though, so when their peck deepened into something more he'd grabbed her hand, earning quite the knowing look from both Natasha and Sam who'd cackled away when Steve rushed them out of the training room and into their bedroom. He wasn't really into public displays of affection like Amelia was.

It wasn't that Amelia wasn't ashamed or anything, it was just that she hadn't learnt to be. She'd never been able to wrap her head around why such a light emotion could ever be a shameful thing. She knew people always preferred to see smiles than frowns, so then, wasn't passionate love better to see than crippling sadness?

She would have listened to Steve's reasoning - that kissing could be awkward for some people to see, that Natasha seeing them so happily making out could make her feel sad - had she not been so busy tackling his lips with her own, stopping Steve from being able to get any words out. Of course, she had stopped when Steve showed his reluctance, his sadness from the previous day hitting him again but she'd managed to be very convincing, providing him with the opportunity to escape from his brain which always seemed to be worrying about something.

There was another reason why he always chose to make out in private though, not just because of his olden time morals, but because whenever he made out with Amelia things tended to get _weird_. All they ever did was make out. Amelia didn't know of anything else and it had taken her long enough to discover just how much of a drug kissing was. She hadn't learnt of lust, or ways to appease the rigorous emotion, but Amelia had definitely felt it. Steve knew she did because whenever they'd make out she'd always end up on top of his lap and she'd always start grinding, trying to appease a burning sensation she felt in the lower part of her body.

The burning was almost as delightful as Steve's lips but it seemed to be more persistent, becoming almost aggravating the more she tried to ignore it. She had absolutely no idea that there was an enjoyable way of appeasing the heat, but Steve did, and it was becoming more and more challenging for him to avoid the subject the more that they escaped for such private moments.

The soldier was torn as he wanted Amelia to know everything she could about the wonders of sex, feeling as though she couldn't really give her consent without really fully knowing what she was getting into. But he just didn't want to be the one to tell her all the stuff, it was an awkward subject for him, something he wasn't exactly a specialist on.

Of course he wasn't a virgin. When he came back to the world and found out that he was alone, he'd fallen to the charms of the twenty-first century, drowning himself in liquor that never worked and women that just wanted Captain America, none of them ever cared about Steve Rogers. He'd been working his way back from that dark spout in his life. Learning that Peggy was alive helped him remember who he used to be.

But it wasn't until Amelia that he actually became Steve Rogers again. Though the brunette had always assumed that she was saved by him, she'd never thought to wonder what she'd done for him. He was lost in a whole new world, trying to fit into a place he was never meant to fit into. It was just bad luck that he'd ended up there, a square in a world full of circles. But Amelia gave him somewhere he did belong, gave him a purpose and made him feel like he could actually be _him_ again.

Annoyingly though a part of him still desired sex from Amelia, it was an itch he needed to scratch and the longer they were together, the higher it rose on his list. Especially when she'd persistently start grinding on him, making a certain part of him harden.

That time was no different as well. They'd entered the room, lips already pressing together, tongues already exploring. Amelia had pressed her hands against his chest and pushed him over to the bed, Steve at first hitting a seat chair which Amelia had foolishly left untucked beneath the desk. He'd pulled away, mumbled an 'ow' as he rubbed the back of his leg. She'd giggled, trying to show concern between her laughs, also rubbing his wound but her hand stayed on his butt a little longer than his own hand had. Then they returned to their previous task, Amelia taking control as she pushed him to their bed, one of their comfier make-out spots.

It didn't take long until she found herself squishing her legs together, trying to relieve the fire that had begun to pulse between her legs, mindlessly beginning to gyrate against his legs, not really noticing what she was doing, simply enjoying the feelings she experienced.

Steve noticed though. The realisation over the escalation hitting him like a freight train, ruining the moment as a torrent of thoughts arose all about how he could be accidentally taking advantage of her without her realising. That was the last thing he would ever want to happen to Amelia. That was the last thing he'd want to do to her.

He raised his hands up and pressed them against her shoulder, not as strong as he wished he could have been and not as quickly as he should have been, a part of him that was enjoying the feel of her rubbing against his leg making it very tempting for Steve to just not stop her at all.

The brunette did begin to sit up as Steve was directing her to do so with his hands pushing against her bare skin, the strap of her vest discarded further down her arm, revealing a part of her navy bra. Seen as she'd made room, and though it took Steve a whole lot of effort, he managed to pull away from him, their lips popping as they broke apart.

The after effects of their kiss was quite clear in the way both their chests raised and fell, their iris' large and shimmering. He licked his lips. Steve had never known that stars had a flavour until he kissed her, and ever since discovering that he couldn't quite get enough.

"We…" He'd forgotten what he was aiming to say, eyes far too busy connecting the freckles on her face into his most favourite constellation. As she shuffled again he felt that delightful warmth stir in his belly, a lustful yearning clouding his mind and it was that fog which made him pull his lips further away from hers. "We have to stop, we can't do this."

Amelia, who had been in a delightful haze, felt like her warm cloudless blue sky had been possessed with a storm of black clouds and lightning, all serene emotions dropping like leaves off of a dead tree. "What?"

In order to further prove his point, Steve lifted Amelia up by her hips, making her move over so that she was sat next to him instead of on top of him. "We can't keep doing this," he waved his hand in her direction, holding out his hand in a 'stop' motion.

"Why?" She fiddled with the strap on her vest, placing it back over her shoulder.

"You need to learn some things first, about what happens when a man, like me, and a woman, like you… you know…" He made a weird gesture with his hands, bringing them together and signalling about something she didn't at all understand. Noticing her lost stare he released a begrudged sigh, hand raising and combing through his already messed up hair. Amelia had a habit of tugging on his hair whenever they kissed. "Wait here," he suddenly jumped up to his feet, leaving Amelia completely baffled.

She wasn't sure what to do after he left. Steve had definitely killed the mood though so she moved away from the bed, sitting down in the chair that had previously attacked Steve's leg. She swivelled around in the chair, able to cross both her legs and still fit on the large grey chair. The brunette paused whilst facing the desk and she pulled forward one of the scrapbooks she'd made, finding the one that had been filled with all of Steve's different sketches.

In total, she'd made four scrapbooks. One for Steve's sketches, one for her and Tony's memories, and another for her memories with the rest of the Avengers. The other scrapbook was the one with all her food recipes but it belonged in the kitchen.

Her soldier had started adding sketches to the scrapbook himself. Little doodles that he'd do here and there, and, knowing Amelia would love them, he'd put them inside the book. It was always a nice surprise for her.

Ten minutes after he left, Steve arrived once again only with someone else. Amelia heard them before she saw them.

"I don't want to do this," Her brother complained from outside the bedroom that he'd been dragged to by Steve, childishly throwing his hands in the air as he turned around to face Steve instead of the room that he knew his sister was waiting inside.

"I know, and I'm sorry Tony, but she needs to know this stuff so no one takes advantage of her," Steve repeated the same argument that he'd given Tony when he first awkwardly approached the billionaire that had been hiding in his lab.

The lab had practically become his second home because arguments were becoming more and more occurring between him and Pepper. The billionaire hadn't shared that information with anyone though, refusing their help before they can even give it.

The billionaire squinted at Steve, "like you, are you planning on taking advantage of her?"

"No, of course not," The soldier huffed, quickly denying Tony's ludacrous statement, "I'd tell her myself except I'm not really an expert on all of the stuff."

"I… I can't tell if that's a compliment to me or not. I'll just concentrate on how pure this makes you. Prepare yourself for jokes. Like, I'm talking every day." He continued to babble and Steve allowed him to, accepting that what he was asking Tony to do was quite an awkward thing and would, as such, lead to the billionaire to become more eccentric than normal. It was the price Steve had accepted he'd have to pay.

Once Tony had finished speaking, he gestured towards the grey door a few short steps away from them, "just go talk to her, please."

Tony opened his mouth one more time, probably still having plenty more on his mind that he could stay to help them dwell even longer in the hallway, rather than actually facing his sister. But Steve had a 'please let's just get this over with' look on his face and Tony actually felt the same, this was not a conversation he wanted to dwell on. He shut his mouth, turning almost robotically and marching towards the door.

His sister was sat in the grey chair, looking bored at the door and not at all surprised to see him and Steve marching through the door. "Oh, are you two done conspiring in the hallway?" She joked in a disinterested tone, looking back down to the scrapbook and flipping through another page.

Tony slowly approached her, stopping on the edge of the bed so that he could sit across from her. "We weren't conspiring. Steve has just asked me to talk to you about…" He leaned forward and clasped his hand together, pausing as he tried to think of the right word. It almost felt impure of him to even say the word 'sex' around his baby sister, which was something Tony couldn't help but laugh at, he'd once been in a ten person orgy where he was the only male and yet that moment with his sister was the first time he could ever recall feeling impure. "The birds and the bees…"

Amelia's eyebrows scrunched up as she looked to Steve, feeling even more baffled at the fact that that's what he'd stopped their amazing (at least in her opinion) make out session for. Closing the book she resignedly gave both them her attention, sending both of them a blank stare, "look, I know I'm not the most informed but I'm pretty sure I know about birds and bees."

"Not in the way we're talking." Tony rocked slightly in his seat, picturing in his head that sweet memory of when Amelia first came home, and yet there he was, about to give her the sex talk. Oh, how times had changed. "Look, Amelia…" He told himself all he needed to do was get through it, to just explain as much as he could as fast as he could and maybe it would get easier near the end. Except, that image of him holding his baby sister in his hands just wouldn't go away.

Instead of beginning an explanation, the billionaire stood up from the bed and raised his hands up. "Nope. Can't do it, get someone else. This is way too weird, I know we're not a normal family but this crosses the line, Cap."

Tony left the room and Steve followed, very disappointed. "Well, who else am I going to get?" He yelled down the hallway at Tony's retreating figure, the billionaire not even bothering to turn around as he was entirely done and working on forgetting what had happened.

The soldier looked back into the room, Amelia still looking unbothered whilst he was wracking his brain on who he could possibly get to try next.

Moments later, Amelia was sat across from a blond god, the likes of which was staring at her with a toothy smile on his face. "Thor."

"Yes?" He asked airily, looking between Steve and Amelia.

He was overjoyed that his friend had requested him to do such an important talk, though he'd expected the younger Stark to have already learnt about such a critical thing already. During his lifetime he'd learnt it in his third hundredth year. It was an honour to be able to pass on the information to someone else, especially when he knew it would benefit Steve as well.

"Why are you here?" Amelia asked the smiling god, trying to be polite though the brunette was losing her patience.

"Well, Steve has asked me to explain to you about, you know," it was weird but he'd begun to find himself lost for words, struggling in the face of Amelia's innocent wide eyes. He gestured with his hands just like Tony and Steve had done, annoying Amelia further. "That thing that happens when a man and woman love each other." Amelia huffed at him, shaking her head. She and Steve loved each other but everyone was acting as though there was this thing that should be happening, but what else is there other than making out?

The god paused for a moment as he wracked his brain for words, "think of it as a battle, you can understand that, yes?" Finally, something Amelia could relate to, she nodded her head enthusiastically and Thor looked very pleased with himself, casting a beaming smile of his own to Steve in hopes that it would assure his friends that he'd accomplish the task set to him. Turning back to Amelia, he began with his explanation, not really thinking through his words beforehand. "Good! Okay so, a man and a woman go somewhere private, or maybe in public if that's what they're into, and they begin to… fight. Passionately. Sometimes the girl is on top, sometimes the man. Personally I prefer being on bottom. The woman would grab the man's… hammer, and some… other stuff and then if they choose to fight without protection-"

"Like a helmet?" Amelia interrupted, giving her own input, trying to pretend like she actually understood what he was explaining.

"Yes. Like a helmet. But if they don't wear a helmet, then that could lead to a child being born. Do you understand what I mean?"

He had such a satisfied look on his face that Amelia held back her response at first, not wanting to break down his happy disposition but she really had no choice if she was ever hoping to figure out what the hell they'd all been talking to her about. "No, Thor. I have absolutely no idea what any of you are talking about."

"What the hell are you guys doing in here?" Natasha had arrived halfway through their discussion, hoping to seek Amelia out so she could ask her some questions about a new move she was practising in the training room. It had been a good hour so she'd expected her and Steve to be done with their usual daily making out session. What the redhead hadn't been expecting was what looked like two parents sat down with their child, trying to explain something undecipherable.

"They're giving Amelia what I believe is called the 'sex talk'." Vision responded, having been talking with Thor when Steve had approached him and made the request.

Amelia jumped in alarm, arms automatically raising out of instinct and a flash of white danced across her fingers before she'd registered who it was that had appeared in the corner of her room behind Steve, who had been leaning against the wall left to her beside the doorway until he, too, had jumped at the android's arrival. "Vision? How long have you been there?!"

"I arrived with Thor, you didn't notice?" Vision pointed towards the wall, as though that was where he'd entered from, in which case, no wonder she didn't notice.

A small smile played on Nat's lips momentarily but it soon went as she remembered what Steve had been trying to do, recruiting probably the worst person to execute the task and making things a lot more difficult for both himself and Amelia. "Really now, and how's that going?"

Natasha wasn't disappointed in her guess when Amelia piped up, "It isn't." She was frustrated with everything that had happened, especially because she still had absolutely _no idea_ why Steve had stopped them making out. Neither Thor or Tony had made it any clearer to her. And her head was now being filled with ideas that fighting someone could lead to a baby being born which just created more questions. How many people had she made pregnant? How many people had Steve made pregnant? Why did Clint fight with Laura when they were supposed to be lovers like her and Steve? Does that mean that if she ever wanted children she'd have to fight Steve? Amelia didn't think she'd ever be able to hurt Steve, not even for a child. "I still have absolutely no idea what the hell they're talking about."

"Right," Nat said as she gave a resolute nod of her head, entering the room further and then waving her hands at the boys. "Leave this to me."

Steve wasn't even reluctant to leave, happily passing the torch to Nat and hoping she'd finally solve the issue that was Amelia's ignorant innocence once and for all.

He didn't regret it until he was sat in the living room with the rest of the boys and Amelia stormed in, a look of horror covering her expression accompanied with a look of terrified understanding. She charged over to her brother, hands vibrating, "did you know what our parents did to make us?!"

* * *

 **A/N: My god, I just finished writing chapter 49 and this chapter is so different from the darkness enveloping that one. Enjoy this whilst it lasts, seriously!**

 **To TheNoPicklesZone, I'm very very worried about how I've written Peggy because I haven't watched her show and I haven't seen her character in a while, I was going to do some research to just remind myself but I haven't really had the time. So I'm really really glad to hear you liked her reaction.**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, hope you enjoyed this one!**

 **To Sam0728, hopefully this makes up for chapter fourty three!**

 **To BrittStar1199, aye, she'll be very angry with Steve as well as Bucky. I'm not one hundred percent sure how she'll deal with that emotion yet, she'll either choose to fight it out or use her words. I'm leaning towards fighting it out though.**

 **And a big thank you to everyone that read the chapter!**


	49. Chapter Fourty-Six

**CHAPTER FOURTY-SIX**

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" _Who does she think she is? It appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is."_

― _**Brendon Burchard**_

* * *

Wanda flew up to the roof of the training room being carried by red that shot out from her hands, and two seconds later she was falling back against the floor. A yelp escaped her lips as she hurtled to the wooden ground, arms waving erratically as clear thought was replaced by panic. White enveloped her before she could hit the ground and damage herself though, carefully and gently placing her down onto the ground.

Once she was on the floor, Wanda hit it with her hand, releasing a disgruntled sound as she stood herself up again. Red danced across her fingers, preparing for her next attempt.

"Don't think of it as flying," Amelia advised from beside Wanda, "concentrate more on your powers, that's what's carrying you."

"I am," Wanda rebutted, snapping towards her trainer without really thinking through her actions. She'd been trying to learn how to fly for weeks, at first she'd been so excited and ready to learn, but it had taken her a week just to figure out how to levitate herself from the ground. She wasn't like Amelia, they'd figured that out two weeks in. She couldn't simply encompass her body in her energy and then use that to get herself floating through the air, no, she had to shoot the energy from her hands and force herself up into the air. It was maintaining that energy whilst in the air which was proving to be difficult and preventing both Amelia and Wanda from being able to move forward with their training. "It's just not working," the witch added, throwing her hands up in the air.

"Maybe we should take a break," Vision advised, floating in the air and not realising how it was antagonising Wanda further.

The young Maximoff looked to her fellow psychic and Amelia shrugged her shoulders, "he's probably right, I doubt getting angry is going to help you concentrate."

But Wanda didn't want to stop training, all she wanted was to finally achieve what had taken up far too many weeks. Huffing, she grabbed her water bottle and moved to sit down on the floor.

This wasn't Wanda. She'd never been the type to get so easily frustrated over such a menial thing. She had both Vision and Amelia helping her so of course she'd eventually figure it out, but, she supposed it wasn't really the training that was getting her angry. She'd thrown herself into training her powers, letting it take over every second of her life because at least when she was training she wasn't thinking about her brother.

As soon as she sat down on the floor, Vision moved over towards her, joining her side. Amelia didn't move to join them, quite easily recognising the connection that was growing between the two of them. Vision had become attached to Wanda's hip and he seemed to be the only one that Wanda never snapped at.

Allowing Vision and Wanda their own private time, Amelia moved over to a bench on the other side of the room where Aaron was. "You hiding from Tony again?"

"He asked me to get him one hundred doughnuts, write up a report _literally_ on how many people have come into the facility wearing trainers, and then he also wants me to look into the possibility of opening his own doughnut joint. He hasn't thought of a name but he thinks the companies logo should be something with the words 'stark raving mad' in them," he explained bluntly to the brunette that joined him, not stuttering or fumbling once as he typed on the iPad he had in his hands. "I don't think he's going to notice if I'm gone for an hour or two doing my _actual_ work."

Amelia chuckled lowly, sitting herself across from him on the floor and playing with her water bottle in her hands. "He's just bored," she explained, "he'll get off your case as soon as a new project comes up."

Aaron looked up from his iPad to stare into Amelia's face, finding the girl oddly distracted by whatever was going on in her mind. He'd heard about the sex talk that had occurred and he felt for the girl. No one was sure what Natasha had said to her yet but she'd been disgusted by whatever it was.

"Yeah, he'll leave me alone for a bit, and then as soon as he gets bored again I'll be sent to do something stupid, like, count how many employees have doughnuts with their lunch." He joked, speaking loudly and clearly to get through whatever thoughts were going through her head.

The brunette finally looked back up to him and laughed, being sure to always keep a smile on her face when speaking to the blond Stark employee so that he wouldn't become awkward around her again, "I don't think anyone eats as many doughnuts as he does. But if it'll help you get your job done, you can put me down for both the trainers and the donut thing," she threw up her feet, revealing the trainers she wore whilst training though, alas, she didn't have a donut with her.

"Thanks," Aaron responded, rolling his eyes.

"Little Stark," the rugged voice belonging to Thor Odinson called from the doorway of the room, pulling in both her own and Aaron's attention as they watched the god approach them, "are you done with training?" As per usual he had a friendly expression on, a permanent smile fixed on his beaming face that brightened every room he entered into.

Amelia spun around slightly so she could face both Aaron and Thor. "Why? You want to get a session in?" She opened up her arms, gesturing to herself and feigning cockiness which Thor released an airy laugh towards, his hand that was holding his hammer swinging slightly.

"I wouldn't want to hurt you," he replied, shaking his head.

"Oh please," the brunette snorted, "all I'd have to do is get that hammer out of your hand and then I'd be able to win, no questions asked."

He flipped the hammer in his hand, throwing it up and easily catching it, the trick something he'd done a thousand times before, "yes, well," he spoke to placate her though in his head and heart he _knew_ that he would win a fight between them. "Perhaps I'll give you a chance to prove yourself later," no he wouldn't, "but for now, I was hoping to talk to you about something."

Amelia already knew that he wanted to talk to her and she had a good idea on what exactly it was he wanted to talk about. They'd been there before. Twice actually. The first time had been right before they faced off with Ultron, the god had asked to talk with her but she'd had to talk to her brother. And the second time was a week after Pietro's funeral, Thor had hoped that she would be ready for the conversation over her powers but she'd avoided it then, far too busy trying to hold herself together.

Even weeks after Pietro's passing, Amelia still blamed herself for not being able to do anything to save him. It was an eye-opener to just how much she didn't know about her own powers. And how much she needed to learn.

Learning where her powers came from might have seemed like good progress, but it only seemed to give her a view of the top of the iceberg.

Though it had probably taken her far too long, Amelia realised it was time she finally have the talk with Thor. At least it wouldn't be as traumatic as her previous conversation with him.

She looked over to Aaron apologetically and then stood up, joining Thor and they proceeded to walk further away from the rest of the group, moving to sit outside as it was a rather warm day and there were plenty of open grassy plains outside of the facility.

"So, my powers," Amelia started off, jumping straight into the subject at hand.

"Yes," Thor nodded his head, agreeing with her to not jump around it anymore, "I was surprised when I heard that you got your powers from the tesseract, also known as the space stone. You heard me talk about the six infinity stones before, yes?"

"I can't remember them all but I'm pretty sure I got the jist, they're all pretty powerful."

"Which is why you understand why I'm concerned about you possessing the powers of the space stone," he continued to explain, only, no, she actually had no idea that he was _concerned._

Her eyebrows were thrown up by his words, "concerned about the powers, or concerned about _me_ possessing the powers?"

"Both," he responded, a grave tone encompassing his voice, "this union was caused by the workings of a mad man and we have no idea what it could lead to. I don't mean to offend you, Little Stark. But those powers you have, the powers of the _cosmos_ , that means you can control everything you can possibly think of. It makes you more powerful than even gods. You could end existence if you chose to, or create entire worlds and universes endlessly. We have to make sure that you have full control of this curse or else…" He didn't finish his sentence, though Amelia had a good idea of what he was going to say the moment he couldn't look her in the eyes.

Amelia didn't really have any idea on what exactly they'd talk about, she knew it would have something to do with her powers but she'd never expected Thor to go down this route. A route that was making her very, very angry. "Or what?" She hissed at him, standing to her feet so she could look down at him, "say I do lose control, then what will you do Thor? Put me down? Like some sort of dog that has lost control."

Thor stood up as well, sighing in disappointment at the way she was reacting but his sigh only fueled Amelia's rage. "I hope it never has to come to that, but if it does then I might not have any choice. Please understand that I'm not saying this out of malice, you are one of my closest friends and I'd never desire to hurt you in anyway. But if you lose control than that means the entire universe is at stake. If you were in my shoes, wouldn't you make the same choice?"

Of course she would, and that only made her more bitter. Amelia thought the days of people fearing her were over, but now she was learning that even someone she considered as her best friend feared her. It felt like he was completely overlooking all the progress she'd made to be _good_.

She opened her mouth to make a response but she had no words to give. Thor was right, and she knew it. The brunette was more scared of her powers than anyone else, especially after learning about what she'd done in 2012, but she had to believe that she was in control. She'd already lived a lifetime of being under someone else's control. Never again.

Seen as Amelia had no words, she simply left Thor, managing to aim all the anger she should have actually been placing on Strucker (who was the one that melded her with the space stone in the first place), onto the god.

She didn't go back to the training room, Amelia didn't really fancy speaking to Aaron again in case she accidentally took her anger out on him and made the shy secretary revert back to his fumbling ways around her, and she knew that Vision and Wanda would probably be able to train without her there. Plus, Vision would just remind her of Thor and she'd start suspecting him of also thinking she was a danger to society. Instead, she went to her and Steve's bedroom.

She hadn't expected to see Steve in there but as she entered the room her soldier was passing the door with a bunch of clothes in his hands.

"Oh, hey," Steve said in greeting, also not having expected to see her until later on. He continued on his journey, taking the clothes over to the bed so he could shove them inside of a rucksack he'd put on top of the sheets. "I'm just finishing up packing for my mission."

"Shit!" Amelia cursed, smacking her hand harshly against her forehead as the fury inside of her grew higher, burning lava threatening to explode out of her at any moment. The brunette had completely forgotten about the fact that her soldier would be leaving her tonight and not returning until very late tomorrow morning, the depressing thought simply making her feel worse.

Steve raised an eyebrow at her swear word, choosing not to actually say anything about it though after the ongoing joke Tony had created over it previously. He did, however, manage to notice how upset she looked and that was something he'd never back away from seeing as he knew he could possibly help with it. "Everything okay?" He asked whilst slowly approaching her.

Amelia dropped her hand and revealed to her soldier a childish pout. "No," she easily relinquished, falling freely into his arms and pressing her face into his chest, wishing that she could just get lost forever in his arms and never have to face the world again.

His strong arms enveloped her delightfully, the raging warmth cooling to a soothing heat that wrapped around her heart like a safety blanket. He started to sway with her in his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, knowing all the best ways to calm her down. "What happened?"

"Thor happened," she grumbled into his chest.

The soldier pulled away at that name, giving her an inquisitive look, "Thor?" He repeated the name, feeling as though he needed to do a double check as normally the god was the least problematic person on their team.

She shocked him once again by nodding her head to confirm what she'd said, not becoming offended by his disbelief as she understood quite well the surprise of having Thor become a nuisance. It was one of the reasons why she was so angry, because out of everyone to say such a thing to her, she'd never expected it to come from Thor. "We finally talked about my powers, except, instead of telling me anything helpful, he just told me that I need to take great care with them or else I'll doom the entire planet. He made it very clear that he doesn't trust me, at all."

Tugging herself free from Steve's arms, she made her way over to their bed, sitting next to the rucksack and taking from it one of the shirts Steve had packed. She really didn't want him to go.

"Are you sure? I doubt he doesn't trust you, maybe he just worded things wrong or-"

"He told me I have the potential to end existence…" All rage had disappeared from her voice, Amelia feeling safe enough in Steve's presence to allow her sadness and hurt to be on full display. In her hands she tightened her grip around Steve's shirt, the soft fabric tender against her skin. "Do you think I'd ever do that?"

"Not willingly, no." Steve answered, approaching her once again, kneeling in front of her and taking one of her hands into his so that he could soothingly stroke his thumb around hers. He paused for a moment, thinking over his words delicately, trying not to side with either her or Thor. "I think in the wrong hands, these powers could be catastrophic. But luckily for us, they're in your hands." She smiled gratefully at his words, coaxing him to continue speaking. "If you're really upset by what Thor said, then I think the best thing you can do from here is prove to him that there's nothing to be afraid of. Okay?"

She mulled over his words, cocking her head to the side and then straightening it up again. As per usual, Steve had thrown at her just the right words. "Okay," she agreed, still mad but at least able to make it into a fighting spirit rather than just frivolous rage.

He brought her hand up to his lips and kissed them. Normally after that, they'd make out. But Amelia was still way too put off by whatever Natasha had told her that she was withholding from any more lustful exchanges until she was properly ready, which Steve didn't mind. He might if it lasted for far too long, but he always aimed to be a good guy, and a good guy didn't push someone into something they didn't want to do.

"Do you want to keep the shirt?" Steve asked, noticing the way she was brushing her fingers across the cotton fabric almost longingly.

"Maybe," she mumbled under her breath. Amelia felt stupid for suddenly feeling so attached to a shirt but she _really_ didn't want Steve to go, especially because it meant he'd be gone for an entire night. She understood that a mission was a mission and he didn't really have a choice on whether to go or not because it was his duty, but Amelia wished that they could throw aside duty for their relationship just that once.

He stood up from his knees, sitting himself down next to her and throwing an arm around her shoulder so he could then pull her down. As they laid on the bed, Amelia automatically got into her usual position pressed against Steve's side with one hand on top of his belly that rhythmically inflated and deflated beneath her finger tips.

"I'm not going to be gone that long," he said in hopes of soothing her and ridding her of the sad mood she was being encompassed by, "when I get back we'll spend the next day in bed, just me and you."

"You have to promise or I won't believe you," she responded almost like a child, though happiness could finally be heard in her tone.

"I promise," he said the words far too easily. That would be his first mistake.

* * *

 **A/N: Hola! So Steve's made his first promise to Amelia that he can't keep. Question is, does he break it himself or does someone/something prevent him from keeping the promise? You'll find out in the next chapter!**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, I hope you enjoyed watching the movie! I should really rewatch it, but I also need to watch the first Captain America movie again and maybe visit the Peggy Carter show. I'm glad you enjoyed the past chapter as well :)**

 **To AngelElmarlienHenning, hello! Glad you enjoyed it, here's your update!**

 **To kuppcake, glad to hear it!**

 **To peoplers, :)**

 **To BrittStar1199, if I was gonna write smut (which I'm not, just so ya know) then Amelia would DEFINITELY be the more dominant one, or, I reckon Steve would try to be gentle and slow with her but she'd want more and it would bring out the more 'rough' side of Steve. I might hint towards it when they do get round to love-making but yeah, I agree with you, Amelia will definitely want to take control and stuff.**

 **To Pitspee, I'm so glad you and other peeps actually found it funny, I started worrying that I'd hyped it too much but I'm so happy people actually enjoyed it!**

 **To Sam0728, thank youuuuuu! I was so worried about it tbh but I'm glad you and other peeps actually found it funny**

 **To .2018, idk if this is spoiler-y or not but things actually look up for Peggy soon, in a way. And thank you! I'm glad you laughed!**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, don't worry, I won't be writing any smut. I'm better at writing angst and stuff, lol. There will be mentionings of it though, I hope that's not an issue?**

 **And a mucho grande (I did Spanish for like a year at school and that's probably wrong) thank you to everyone that read the chapter!**


	50. Chapter Fourty-Seven

**CHAPTER FOURTY-SEVEN**

* * *

" _The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me."_

― _**Ayn Rand**_

* * *

There was once a time before Steve, Amelia could remember most of it. It was colder, like an eternal winter, and her world was set in shades of grey. Half of her time was filled with being in pain, and the rest of her time was spent waiting for that pain to come. Amelia had plenty of memories of the dark time, and yet, as she laid in hers and Steve's bed without his usual comfort next to her, the brunette couldn't remember how she ever managed to sleep without him.

She had attempted. Doing her usual routine, hoping that would help her when it came to her actual bed time. She even put on a facemask, something Maria had shown her and Amelia had fallen in love with the way her skin felt afterwards. And just in case that didn't work, she'd dressed herself in the shirt Steve had left her, hoping that being able to smell him would be enough to lull her to sleep. She'd gone to bed that night completely relaxed, and yet the moment her head hit the pillow it was rampaging with thoughts that just wouldn't allow her to sleep. Her legs never seemed to get into a comfortable position and she repeatedly flopped her arms from one location to another, her body feeling lost on the bed without having Steve to curl up next to.

After two hours she gave up, her growing frustration not helping her. Instead, she took the opportunity of Steve's absence to break some of the rules he'd given her. He'd told her not to eat food in bed and not to eat candy after six, so she collected an amalgamation of junk food and got herself comfortable with the giant flat screen television across from the bed, putting on a movie that would remind her of Steve.

Whilst she couldn't lose herself in sleep, she could at least escape through the movie. Mindlessly, she chewed on her food, all attention on the screen as a particularly action-packed scene played out, explosions filling the screen from all directions. And then, with a loud bang, the door to her bedroom flew open.

Amelia was already on the edge of her seat from the battle she was seeing on screen, so when the door to her bedroom suddenly opened, for a fleeting moment the brunette was _sure_ that she'd suddenly entered the battle. She jumped out of the covers of her bed, moving onto the side of the bed away from the doorway whilst also knocking plenty of candy and chips all over the bed. Only, it wasn't an enemy soldier in her doorway, it was just Aaron.

Her eyes widened slightly as they fell back to the bed, the sheets covered in crumbs. She looked back up to Aaron's own gaze, allowing guilt accompanied by a peachy blush to wash over her face. "Please don't tell Steve I ate food in our bed," she begged.

"Mia," Aaron said her name gravely, the mood in the room changing swiftly. The brunette's hands fell to her side and she stood up straighter, only just then becoming able to see the concern on his face. "It's about Steve." Cold washed down her spine. "He's… Mia, he's just gone."

His words didn't make sense to her. Gone? No one's ever just gone. And it was Steve as well, Steve was never gone, no one could make him 'gone' either. Captain America was the guy that made other people gone.

Slowly she made her way around the bed so that she could stand in front of Aaron and truly get a read on his expression. The blond secretary looked sincere, and worried. Though his concern was more for Amelia than it was Steve.

"You're going to have to repeat yourself," Amelia trembled, "and be very careful what you say next. I need specifics Aaron."

"I… I…" He visibly winced, hating himself for stuttering but the pressure Amelia was placing on him had his tongue becoming led in his mouth. He stopped himself, inhaling a long deep breath and watching the brunette warily. Finally, he was seeing the real her. The warrior, the monster, the weapon. The fire. And once faced with it, like a lesser dog facing an omega wolf, he bowed his head slightly. "They're all in the meeting room discussing it." If he could have actually talked to her than he would have told her everything he knew, but he was far too busy being consumed by the night sky in her eyes and he just felt so small when staring into their vastness.

Amelia bit down on her lip harshly, trying to remind herself to remain calm, that she didn't have nearly enough information to start panicking over. That also meant she couldn't get angry at Aaron. He was shy, she had to remind herself, and he'd made a lot of progress that she couldn't willingly ruin.

Nodding her head, she let Aaron know with her a gentle tap on his shoulder that she was grateful for him giving her the information and then she moved around him so she could make her way to the meeting room. She wasn't exactly dressed for a meeting, dressed in one of Steve's buttoned shirts and some joggers with her brown hair placed in an easy bun. The night wardens and agents that were doing late shifts were all dressed appropriately, clean clothes, clean bodies, clean minds. Amelia was a mess though, her heart jamming against her rib cage rampantly as she stumbled her way through the long maze of hallways to the meeting room. She didn't care that every single agent she passed seemed to be looking at her weirdly, all she cared about was Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve.

When she arrived at the meeting room all eyes went to her as she practically crashed into the room. The rest of the Avengers were in there, Tony, Thor, Vision, Sam, Wanda and Nat. Natasha stood the moment Amelia entered, beginning to walk over to her with hands raised whilst the rest seemed surprised and wary by her appearance.

"What's going on, where's Steve?" She was too busy becoming more and more frantic that she didn't notice any of their reactions. Natasha stopped in front of her, the redhead keeping her arms raised whilst remaining at a safe distance away from the brunette. Her hands were raised even higher when Amelia's eyes flitted over to Nat, staying on her for only a second as they sped around the room onto every other face, demanding an answer.

Tony was already stood at the end of the table in their meeting room, hands propped against it, keeping him stood up. "Mia," he phrased her name slowly, prudently, "how did you find out that Steve is missing?"

 _Missing_. Amelia would have preferred gone, gone suggested that he'd just disappeared for a little bit whereas missing implied that no one could find him _anywhere_. Missing implied there were darker things in play, the very thought making a ringing sound in Amelia's ear worsen. She tried to concentrate on his words, tried to see through the fog of consternation.

How had she found out? Aaron told her. But Amelia realised that she couldn't actually tell them that. They weren't going to tell her. She wasn't supposed to know. A red tinge filled the fog that clouded her mind but she managed to calm it down, having much better control of her rage than she used to as she knew that the rage would only distract her from her biggest priority which was finding Steve.

"I heard an agent talking about it on the way here, I didn't think there was anything to worry about until I found you all here… He's really missing?" Despite the clear concern in her voice they all remained silent after her question, Tony even looked scared and she couldn't understand why.

"Freckles," Natasha said her words softly too, "you need to calm down."

"Calm down? Steve is missing and you guys won't tell me anything!" Amelia stamped her foot harshly on the ground, trying to get her point across to everyone.

Thor was the second person to stand up and approach her, picking up his hammer as he walked over to her. "We'll tell you everything we know as soon as you calm down, your powers-"

"My powers?" Then Amelia saw it, the flash of black surrounding her body and she looked down at her hands, finally becoming aware of the black waves that enveloped them, little lights like stars twinkling amongst the cosmic energy. Confusion, that's the first thing she was hit with. She was aware of her powers acting this way only once before, after the car crash. She'd assumed her powers had gone out of control because she'd been near death, but they were doing the same thing and she was fine. It didn't make sense.

The anxiety within was a moon, pulling her powers in like they were the oceans tide.

She clenched her fists and closed her eyes, doing her best to calm herself down but it was difficult when in the back of her mind she knew that Steve wasn't there.

Steve. Her soldier. She imagined that he was there with her, hands in her hands, blue orbs staring straight at her, filling her up with a calmness.

Amelia told herself that she needed to be calm in order to save him, and her powers eventually agreed. Though she hadn't been aware at first of her overflowing powers, she could at least feel the waves settling. When she opened her eyes again her hands were no longer covered by shade, though black did spark between her fingers.

Her shoulders deflated out of relief and then the brunette gave a more resolute nod over to everyone around her, "okay, I'm calm. Tell me what you know."

The demand she gave was once again ignored by Thor, "maybe this would not be good for your powers though." Never before had she wanted to hit the god with his own hammer before but the effects of their previous talk were still dwelling in her mind and everytime he brought up her powers it felt like another kick to their friendship that had once seemed so strong.

It was strange that even when being faced with her powers losing control, that Amelia still managed to deny what Thor had proposed.

Her eyes snapped to his once he'd finished speaking, sending a stunning glare towards him that brought on the curiosities of everyone else in the room. "No offence _Thor_ ," she said his name like it was a curse, "but if you guys don't start talking then I'm not going to stop my powers from kicking your ass-"

"Hey," Natasha interrupted, sliding in front of her friend and putting her hands on the brunette's arm, only to have them be shoved off by a black energy. She could at least understand where her friend was coming from and try to calm her down but it seemed Amelia wasn't willing to listen to anyone.

She only wanted to listen to one thing, and Tony was the only one who realised that. "Steve was sent on a mission," he revealed to her, information she already knew but him actually sharing the information she wanted was enough to gain her attention and calm her down momentarily. "The mission was an easy recon one, there were suspicions of a Hydra base in New York. He went missing three hours ago, we've already sent agents there and there's no sign of a struggle or any clues to be found. We've got everyone working on finding him though."

Amelia looked gratefully at her brother and he just shrugged his shoulders, trying to send her his best supportive smile. He'd gone through it before when Pepper had been kidnapped, and if he had people trying to get in his way like Thor was then he wouldn't have even stopped to threaten the god. Nothing could stop him from getting to Pepper, and he expected nothing less from his sister.

"And that's all you know?" She questioned, her voice still shaking but it was less aggressive.

"Yes, which is why _I_ decided not to tell you yet," Natasha responded for Tony, taking the brunette's glare with ease. Seeing the argument burn within her black orbs Nat rolled her eyes and gestured to the messy woman standing before her, "look at yourself Amelia. You're not thinking clearly, you're emotionally compromised so you'll be of no use on this mission."

"Steve needs me," her voice rose a few octaves once more, but she didn't argue against Natasha's point.

"Yes, he does," the redhead replied calmly, crossing her arms over her chest. "He needs _you_ and right now, you're not you. You're angry and worried, and I get that. We're all worried. But we have to go through this the right way or it could end up with Steve getting more hurt. I know you know I'm right."

Amelia shook her head, looking down and laughing. She had to laugh, if she didn't then she'd start crying. "So what?" She asked as she looked back up at the redhead, "you want me to just sit in my room whilst Steve could be in danger?"

"If we find out anything else, I'll tell you," Tony intruded once again but his words were helpful again, she could at least trust him to stick to his word.

They really did just want her to sit in her bedroom and trust them all to save her boyfriend. Whilst she did trust them, the safest hands were her own. Amelia was about to scoff and go on another tirade when her eyes finally drifted over to Wanda who was on the left side of the table, Vision at her side. Amelia had not truly understood the effects her raging powers had had until she saw the fear in the young Maximoff's eyes, a look she never wanted to see in Wanda's eyes.

Without really meaning to, Amelia had adopted an older sister role in Wanda's life, always helping her when she could and always learning off of Wanda as well. Despite their rocky beginnings, the two had bonded. Which is why seeing her so scared had more of an effect than Amelia would have liked.

Sighing, the dark brunette took a step backwards, relinquishing to her partner's whims. "Fine," she mumbled. Amelia was worried about Steve, and if they really did try to stop her from reaching him than she wouldn't think twice before taking them down. But for the moment she'd just have to trust them, they hadn't led her wrongly thus far.

As she left Amelia made sure to slam the door behind her, not caring how petulant it portrayed her, she just needed to make sure they knew how angry she was at their decision to keep her out. A part of her did understand, she was emotionally compromised and not thinking clearly, and it was that not thinking clearly which was making her so furious.

When she made it back to her room, she was surprised to find that Aaron was still waiting outside of her bedroom door. Though it did look like he'd left and retrieved something as there was an envelope in his hand, which was another curious thing as it was almost midnight and mail wouldn't be arriving for a few more hours.

Wanting to be left alone, she walked passed him and made it to the entrance of her room. He stuttered behind her, unable to form proper words and she was about to shut her bedroom door on him when a sense of guilt washed over her like a bucket of ice-cold water atop her volcanic rage. Another sigh passed her lips as she turned back around to face him.

"Thank you," her voice was monotone, not angry or happy, "I know you told me about Steve even though you weren't supposed to, and I really am grateful. However, you need to remember that Tony is your boss. I don't want you getting fired because of me."

The blond secretaries mouth had fallen open. He'd been expecting anything but gratefulness and caringness from the brunette after the way she had been behaving earlier, but it wasn't entirely unwanted. Aaron closed his mouth, he gulped, and in his hands he began to mess slightly with the envelope. A simple 'sorry' didn't seem sufficient because he didn't feel sorry, not one bit.

"You were the first one to smile at me here," he began to say, his voice shaking much like Amelia's had earlier but it was anxiety that quivered him, "not a professional smile or a mocking smile, a genuine smile. You never mentioned my awkwardness or my stutter. Though you didn't have to be, you chose to be kind to me and I'm _really_ grateful for that. It was kind of a confidence booster."

It was Amelia's turn to be blown away, her own mouth opening slightly as her eyes widened a few inches. It hadn't been a choice for her, she'd simply done what Steve had taught her, she hadn't ever expected to receive something like gratitude for it. It felt… weird. The only response she could give him was a shrug of her shoulders and a lame smile, the brunette not really sure how people were meant to respond to such a thank you as it was something Steve had never taught her.

Aaron smiled back, his wider, beaming, and then he held out the envelope to her. "Here," he handed it over to Amelia that looked at it curiously, beginning to open it up. "This arrived on my desk a couple of minutes ago, I'm not sure who put it there but it has your name on it." She pulled from the envelope a folded piece of paper that had attached to it a picture.

Amelia wasn't sure what fell to the floor first, her heart or the piece of paper.

Aaron looked down at it, alarmed by the brunette's reaction. He noticed the photo first as well. It was Captain America on a grey cement floor, unmasked, covered in bruises and burns and there was so much blood it was _impossible_ for all of it to belong to just him.

* * *

 **A/N: So I've just finished planning part three completely and OH MY GOD does this chapter foreshadow the ending so hard, which is hilarious because it was completely accidental. Honestly though I love that sort of stuff. I did english literature at college so analysing stuff is my drug of choice and I always try to write every word purposefully, so after reading through this again after finishing the plan is awesome. I wonder if any of you guys can find the clues and piece it together? Part Three is going to be twenty-one chapters long by the way, a bit longer than I'd aimed for but it's pretty good. Pretty cheesy tbh, I'm hoping I can fix that. I love cheese more than anyone but god damn.**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, hello again! So glad you liked the 'talk', and yus, I'm trying to avoid puppy Thor because it's my least favourite cliche, I'm aiming more for a 'positive guy even in the face of a lot of bad shit with a heart of gold whose intentions can sometimes get twisted even though they're always pure of heart', bit of a mouthful though so let's just say cinnamin roll?**

 **To AngelElmarlienHenning, you're welcome, here, have another one lol**

 **To Guest, same tho**

 **To Guest no.2, I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU ON THE FLATTENING THING OKAY that's why I've decided to do part three of my own plot, Age Of Ultron had an effect on my writing that I really didn't like so I'm trying to fix it and find my character again. I think me not really liking AOU didn't help. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and I really really hope I can fix this issue, if not, please let me know?**

 **To BrittStar1199, maybe, maybe not. I'll never talk!**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, I'm glad you're excited but also slightly concerned as the next couple of chapters might not be something to be excited about lol**

 **To Sam0728, nope, part three is all my own plot :) Civil War does get referenced a couple of times though and we do see General whatshisface (the guy who serves the sokovia accords to the avengers) appear**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, oh ain't no kind of about it, Amelia is gonna destroy EVERYTHING lol**

 **To Pitspee, ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ to the first two paragraphs. AND YES, I can confirm Steve totally has a bad girl fetish lol. Why do you think he gets her the leather jacket? When they do it he totally asks her to leave it on. Okay I'm kidding on that last part. Kind of. And I'm sorry for disappointing you with the lack of smut but you'd be even more disappointed if you read it cause I'm REALLY bad at writing smut. I can at least give you context lol**

 **And a big thanks to everyone that read the chapter, prepare yourself for a rollercoaster ride, only its like one of those rollercoasters that just goes down.**


	51. Chapter Fourty-Eight

**CHAPTER FOURTY-EIGHT**

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" _If it's real they'll find you no matter how far you go."_

― _**R. M. Drake**_

* * *

Steve Rogers woke up. Or did he? The soldier couldn't really be sure as his entire world was spinning around him and a numbing sensation tingled every inch of his skin. Darkness was wherever he looked, though, he wasn't even sure if he'd actually opened his eyes. A semblance of panic clenched from inside of his stomach though it was overthrown by disorientation, a blue shaded mist that countered all logical thought.

He couldn't stop spinning and spinning and _spinning_. The ground beneath him didn't even feel like ground, he recognised that there was definitely something keeping him in a horizontal position but as his fingers glided across it they felt nothing but little sparks erupting in his nerves. The only thing he could really be sure of was that something wet and thick was dripping down from his forehead, if he concentrated enough on that one spot, Steve was able to feel the dull ache of a wound where his hairline met his forehead, and from it blood was seeping down.

But how had he gotten the wound? That was the difficult part for him to remember. The last thing his brain was able to recall was Amelia. Not a place, or a time, just Amelia. Amelia and her freckles and her marshmallow lips and her dark brown hair that cascaded down past her shoulders. He grasped that thought of her like it was his lifeline. The soldier tugged on the strings and allowed all of his memories to unravel.

It started with Amelia, he'd kissed her goodbye and left to go on his mission, he'd left her with his shirt because she'd whined about not being able to sleep without him by her side. He didn't want to leave her. Why had he left her? Right, his mission. There was a supposed Hydra base near the New York harbour and that's where he'd gone with a group of agents, they'd had to go in through the sewers as it was the only way in that didn't have any camera's or alarms that would let those inside the warehouses know of their arrival. They weren't supposed to engage with any of the Hydra agents, simply observe, and if it did look like they were a threat, then Cap would have had no other choice but to engage. They hadn't made it to the warehouse. Something or someone had attacked whilst they were underground.

All the images came in flashes. It was too dark to see anything down in the sewers, the only time he could really see anything clearly was when shots were being fired. The flashes that had only made him become more disoriented, fighting off everyone that had come near him. He remembered seeing dead bodies on the ground. And then he'd felt something pierce his neck. Whatever it was had made him more disoriented but it wasn't enough to bring the super soldier down. There was a chance that he'd actually managed to bring down four of the enemies soldiers but it was so dark he could have just been fighting off one very persistent guy. That's when he'd gotten the wound on his forehead, he thinks. Either way, he'd felt another needle against his skin and eventually the effects of whatever they were injecting him with were starting to have an effect.

It wasn't enough to knock him out quickly as he fought back against it as much as he could, Steve did, however, lose control of his body. They put something over his face so that he wasn't able to see anything and they had multiple men carry him out of the sewers and into the back of a vehicle, he was at least able to recognise the vibrations of an engine beneath him. The soldier tried to track what directions they turned, and halfway through it felt like they were purposely trying to make the trip seem longer than it actually was as they made quite a few left turns. But then again, the world continued to make many left turns even when the engine stopped vibrating his body.

Steve was so tired after that, the effort of keeping himself awake and aware such a drain on his body that after the car ride he finally allowed himself to slip into unconsciousness. It didn't help that they injected him again. They probably needed him permanently drugged up to keep him from fighting them back.

And that's how all of his bouts of consciousness seemed to go. He'd wake up confused, and get injected again once whoever was holding him realised that he was alert again. But not that time, when Captain America awoke again that time he wasn't greeted with another injection into the neck.

He released a long groan, shuffling around on his side. The drugs were still affecting him of course. Steve had no doubt that if it were anyone else being injected with the drugs as much as he was then they'd be dead. The people holding him captive weren't stupid though, they were injecting him just enough to keep him immobile, never more than his super soldier body could handle.

The empty echoes in his ear became more and more far away as new sounds were heard. Music. Not good music in Steve's opinion. It was some very old heavy metal music that was playing loud enough to fill wherever he was in. The hoarse screams of whatever musician weren't the only thing in that room, there were many _many_ voices. Steve was only able to discern about thirteen and the rest just melded together. Most of the voices were laughing or making some brutish comments to someone else. They definitely didn't sound like Hydra agents.

"Looks like sleeping beauty's awake, boss!" A man stood close to him called, voice heavy with a Boston accent.

Steve felt his body being lifted up by two men stood at the side of him, and then the bag that they'd had over his head was pulled off. The world around him wasn't so brightly lit that it hurt his eyes but he still winced, eyes turning to slits as he tried to stop his vision from blurring his surroundings.

A man was stood in front of him with bleached white hair that was spiked up in a purposely messy way. They were in an abandoned building, that was clear. The walls were completely covered in graffiti and all the windows were boarded up, in another room to the side there was an orange glow being emitted and a warmth that told him they probably had a fire going. The building he was in was clearly a refuge for homeless punks, that's what all the people he saw looked like anyway, just a bunch of punks wearing leather jackets, drinking beer and smoking cigarettes that they carelessly littered onto the ground.

They didn't look at all like the type to be able to bring down Captain America, for that they'd need strategy and planning and consideration, but all they seemed to have was a lot of dumb spirit and maybe a little dumb luck too.

The man in front of Steve let out a howling laugh, clapping his hands and jumping up into the air slightly. "I can't believe it, honestly," the punk bawled as he stared wide-eyed at the drugged soldier being held up in front of him, wearing a smile like a loaded gun. " _The_ Captain America, in _my_ home. I mean, I have so many questions. And so many things I want to do to you. I forget how pretty you were, to be honest." The surrounding punks let out hollers at his flirtatious remark, cackling away whilst Steve teetered from side to side, trying to find his footing but it felt like the ground was crumbling beneath his feet.

The soldier tried to fight back, managing to force out a breathless: "No." It was far too meagre sounding, receiving mocking laughter back from everyone else in the room

"I suppose questions will have to wait though," the man said as he got closer, hand reaching out and caressing the super soldier's perfect, unharmed, jawline. "You're a bit too drugged up right now and we just got orders from the boss that we gotta mess up your pretty face. I promise you, if it weren't good money than I would never do this."

He began to hand over the rings from his hands over to a person beside him, taking from that same person a bat which he began to scrape across the floor as he sashayed forward. "This is where you should beg me not to, maybe bargain. You're a pretty old dude, right? You got a million dollars stashed away somewhere?" The fluorescent blonde stared expectantly at the Captain but he made no response. The punk frowned, "Fine then."

Seconds later and the wooden end of the bat hit the edge of his jaw, knocking him from the arms of the other punks which were holding him up. They didn't wait long before joining in with their own attacks, kicking him wherever they could reach. Steve supposed he should have been thankful for the drugs they'd given him because he barely felt the pain, just the wetness of blood covering his skin.

They took turns, switching to other members of their little gang that wanted a turn to beat up Captain America. The punk that had spoken to him made sure to stay and watch. Whilst down on the ground Steve was still able to catch sight of the man's fluorescent hair, was still able to see the wide smile that perpetrated on his face as he watched the soldier be beaten repeatedly.

Steve wasn't sure how much time passed or how many hits they got in. It was their leader who stopped them, earning groans and moans from his men but he just jokingly pushed them away and kneeled down so that he was closer to Cap. In one hand, he showed Steve a syringe, and in the other, he had a lit cigarette. He heard the sound of a picture being taken, saw the flash of a camera from above, but by that point his eye was swelling so much he could barely see from his eye.

"Me and the boys have made bets on how long it will take you to heal from all of this, you being a superhero after all," he took another puff of his cigarette, exhaling the toxic smoke into Steve's face and then, as an afterthought, he put the cig out against the soldier's face. When he cried out, the punk offered him no reaction. "If you could do me a favour and hold off healing for another five hours, that'd be great. It'll also give us plenty more photos to send to your beloved.

 _Amelia_. Between all the beatings he'd been getting, Steve had forgotten. He'd forgotten that he needed to get home to his girl. She wasn't able to sleep without him there so he needed to get back home to her as soon as possible.

The soldier reached out with his hand, tried to grasp the man's shoulder, tried to tighten his grip so that it became something more painful but his body just wouldn't follow his directions and his hand fell limply onto the floor. The punk laughed some more, quite enjoying the sight of one of the world's greatest defenders all defeated and weak. With the syringe in his other hand, the punk pressed the syringe into his neck and seconds later Steve was surrounded by a cold blackness.

"And now we wait," was the last thing Steve heard before he fell unconscious once again, that and someone asking some guy named Milo for another beer.

"Steve," a gentle, familiar, voice coaxed him awake. He tried to open his eyes, knowing that he'd be able to see Amelia's shining face but he was just too tired. A dream. That's all it was, that's all it ever could be. "You're safe now." He felt lips press against his and he tried with all his might to lift the weights on his eyes but it wasn't until they were dragged away from him, until they were replaced with a frigid, unwanted, cold, that light flashed over his eyes and he found himself suddenly transported.

 _He wasn't where he once had been. Steve was still in the dream. He knew he was still in the dream because his new location was the dance hall he always used to go to with Bucky. The soldier was back in his old spot in the corner, able to see the dancefloor through a small little parting between all the tables that numerous people sat in, laughing, drinking, being merry. Whilst he was just in the corner. Always in the corner. On the dancefloor, he expected to see Bucky with some dame, but as his eyes moved on to the dancefloor, a flash filled the room and it was emptied all except for one person._

 _The girl on the floor was dressed in black, dancing freely and taking full advantage of the room she had. She stepped around it gracefully, doing numerous twists and turns, slicing her hands through the air as she did so. The girl wasn't a ballerina, and her movements didn't really count as dance moves, but to Steve he'd never seen anyone look more beautiful. She circled her way through the tables, a gentle piano melody playing beside her motions until she eventually reached him and held out her hand for him to take it._

 _He did. It was like every single inch of his being wanted to take her hand in that moment. Then she smiled, and he had so many names comes to mind at the sight of her smile. Home. Starlight. Angel. Steve supposed that smile went by one name though, Amelia Stark, his girl._

 _Freckles dragged him out onto the empty dance floor, the place he'd always hoped to stand on with a partner after spending far too many hours watching others have their moment. And yet he, strangely, felt sad. Amelia positioned his hands around her waist whilst she wrapped her own around his neck, pressing her head against his chest and the two simply swayed, as close as they possibly could be together._

 _"Do you think you'll ever be able to forgive me?" Amelia asked him, voice quiet beneath the piano that played._

 _He looked down at her, "for what?"_

 _She didn't look back up at him, she kept herself pressed closely to him. Her hands rose further up his neck and her fingers tangled themselves in his hair. It was almost like she was familiarising herself with him for one last time. "Nevermind," she sighed, dropping her fingers from his hair and stroking the bare skin of his neck. Eventually, and at the same time far too soon, she parted her head from his chest, lifting her head up high enough to press a long kiss to his lips, a desperate kiss, a kiss goodbye._

 _"I love you, Steve Rogers, **so much** ," she whispered as she parted, black eyes opening and revealing tears as she stared intensely into his own._

 _The soldier's eyebrows scrunched up together in confusion, his hands scrunching up her leather jacket in his hand so that he could hold her tightly to him. "I love you too," he wanted to ask what was wrong, but at the same time, it felt like it was more important for him to remind her of his unwavering emotions. "No matter what," he added as an afterthought, remembering her earlier question._

 _A sad smile pursed her lips and then she turned away, slipping from his hands far too easily and walking off the dancefloor. Steve quickly chased after her, refusing to let her go so easily but she always seemed just out of reach._

 _"Freckles!" He called after her, almost falling over as he tried to reach for her before she exited through the door. Steve tried to follow after her, but the door had somehow locked itself. He pushed against it with his body, repeatedly crashing himself into it until the door was forced off of its hinges._

 _He stepped through onto an open field, another recognisable place. It was a hill near Clint's farm, full-of-life green being shaded by the canopy of black above them. Steve turned around, trying to find Amelia but she was nowhere. All there was around him were the fields and the night sky._

 _Looking down, feeling helpless, he found beside his feet Amelia's leather jacket. He picked it up, feeling the material beneath his fingers. Even though he'd seen her mere seconds ago wearing it, the clothing item was freezing cold to his touch._

Then Steve was being hit with a new sensation, like his body was falling down or the ground was pushing forward, either way, he collided with it painfully and the crash land had him winded. He coughed out, hand going to his stomach, the effects of the drug no longer hindering him from feeling. Steve opened his eyes, confused to find that it was suddenly daytime and he was looking up at a clear blue sky with a scorching summer sun radiating to him from above. It smelt of grass and he could feel the blades tickle the back of his ear.

The music was there again, that god awful metal music, but it was coming from inside a vehicle that it seemed he'd just been thrown from. The door to the vehicle slammed shut and then it was driving away from him, leaving him in that field. For a moment he genuinely thought he was in Clint's field like he'd dreamed, but as the car left he caught sight of a very familiar gazebo. It didn't look nearly as romantic in the intense sunlight, in fact, it was an off-white shade and was already beginning to lose it's paint, looking desolate and lonely within the vast field.

Steve fell back into a laid position in the field, unable to hold himself up for much longer as his body ached and with the effects of the drugs finally wearing off, he really could feel every punch, kick and burn they'd put on him.

Sighing, he looked up to the sun. He was free. The soldier didn't know why. He also didn't know why the world suddenly looked a lot less brighter than it used to.

* * *

 **A/N: So Steve was kidnapped by a couple of punks, or was there an evil mastermind that simply hired the punks? If so, what does that evil mastermind have planned? What do they want? When Steve first felt Amelia, was that a part of his dream or did she really appear? You're gonna have to wait a while to find out because from here on out we're doing Steve's POV until chapter fifty-three!**

 **On the upside, Steve is no longer in captivity. On the downside, he's about to face something far worse than death.**

 **To .2018, glad to hear it :)**

 **To Pitspee, legit, they picked the wrong guy to kidnap. And idk, I just feel so awkward when I write smut that I feel like I'm not writing something great. Ask me to write heart wrenching angst or life giving fluff and I can do that shit with ease, but with smut I feel like an absolute failure. Maybe one day if I'm up for it I'll do a one shot containing smut but we'll have to wait and see, I'd want to do more plot as well, not just smut. And interesting theory! I can't really say much cause of spoilers, but you're hella close with that theory. And I'm happy to hear that you're enjoying my own plot, I've always preferred writing it to just doing movie plots because the very reason I write fanfiction is to experiment with the universe and sometimes just inserting a character isn't enough, if that makes sense. It's still a terrifying risk though because you could like mess up everything and make the MCU bad, which is my biggest fear with making Amelia so integral. Especially for Infinity War, like I obviously can't give much away, but I could make her connection with the space stone very important. However, that means changing the plot quite a bit and a lot of people might not like it. I haven't decided on anything yet though!**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, crazy isn't a strong enough word for what's about to happen**

 **To Sam0728, you only have to wait a day for the next update! Imagine if I was still doing one chapter a week and leaving you on that cliffhanger lol. I'm evil enough to do it tbh.**

 **To The Observer 2.O, hello! So many big reviews, prepare for a big reply lol. As shown in this chapter, the photos weren't forged, no. Your theory is pretty good but no Amelia won't be leaving Earth, she could never leave Steve and if she isn't in Civil War then we don't get a juicy angst scene where she finds out Steve has been lying to her and that _Bucky_ is the reason she had to endure years of torture. I'm so excited to write it, can you tell? I'm so glad you liked Thor's part in the talk! I'm so glad everyone seems to have liked it tbh, I was so nervous about that chapter. Again, more interesting theories, I wish I could give some stuff away about Civil War but I don't want to spoil. I agree with you about the hypocrisy from Steve on lying though, that will definitely play a big part when Amelia learns the HUGE secret he's been keeping from her. Thank you so much for all the wonderful compliments, my heart grew so large hearing them I was worried it'd break out of my chest. Don't apologise for rambling, I love seeing big reviews lol. Happy reading! **

**To BrittStar1199, I love so much that it's a known thing about my character that she will fuck up anyone that dares touch her man. It honestly makes me so happy.**

 **To LieuDrake, thank you for the confidence! Part three should open Amelia up again to everyone I hope. And no, honestly you gave your critique in the best way because I admit I'm very anti-critique but you're spot on with what you said. Ik I'm about to do a load of chapters from Steve's POV but I promise we'll be getting back to Amelia's character again lol, just got to set some stuff up first.**

 **To rosequartz121, I DON'T MEAN TO KILL YOU PLEASE DON'T DIE I'M TOO YOUNG FOR JAIL**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, I'm sorry! I promise you I'm only half torturing you, it's just so fun seeing your reactions but yus I'm sorry. Does this chapter count as a cliffhanger? If it does I'm sorry again.**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, yes can we appreciate Aaron so more he's gonna have such an explosive role in Part Three and just my baby is too pure, too innocent. I hope you like where the story goes!**

 **And a big thank you to everyone that read the chapter, sorry for things being so mysterious and I hope y'all enjoy the next four chapters of Cap's POV! Please let me know if I've absolutely botched up his character and ruined everything so I can delete this story and delete myself (I'm being like 78% sarcastic when I say that) :)**


	52. Chapter Fourty-Nine

**CHAPTER FOURTY-NINE**

* * *

" _Even a thought, even a possibility, can shatter us and transform us."_

― _**Friedrich Nietzsche**_

* * *

" _Freckles!" Steve called out as he found himself running across Clint's field once again, the moonlight above a judge less harsh than the sun. He found his brunette sat on the ground, body leaning back against her palms so she could stare up at the sky and all the twinkling lights that sparked despite the surrounding darkness._

 _He wasn't sure how long exactly he'd been searching for Amelia, it was starting to feel like an eternity. But, finally, she was in reaching distance. Steve slowed his jogging to walking, joining Amelia's side and sitting down next to her so that he could finally breathe. He inhaled and exhaled long, deep, breaths. For a super soldier that never tired, he felt extremely worn out from all the searching he'd been doing._

 _As he sat down, she twisted her head so that she could see him from the corner of her eye. Amelia's concentration remained on the stars above and the look on her face was forlorn, Steve reached out with his hand to grasp hers but she pulled it away. She tried to make it look like it wasn't on purpose, but Steve knew she'd never refuse his touch unless something was troubling her mind. It wasn't long until she revealed what had been playing on her mind, repeating the same question she'd asked Steve in his previous dream. "Do you think you'll be able to forgive me?"_

 _He looked at her with one raised eyebrow, still unable to truly understand the weight of the question she was giving him. "I'll always forgive you. You know I will."_

 _She looked at him sadly. She looked at him like she didn't believe what he said. She looked at him like he was a child being hypnotised by a rose, unaware of their thorns. She looked at him like he was a mountain of dust and her gunsmoke breath was about to blow him away into nothing. She looked at him with pity because he'd forgotten that to look at the sun was to blind himself and to kiss a star was to burn his lips. She could see him burning. Why couldn't he?_

 _He saw her stares, and he wondered why couldn't she understand that the 'pain' she thought she was giving him, was actually life?_

" _Did the sewers smell really bad?" Amelia asked, turning away and ignoring that look he had returned to her, she proceeded to stand up. She dusted the dirt and the grass off of her skinny jeans. "You could still smell it, couldn't you? It's almost like you never really left there."_

 _As she walked back down the hill, Steve turned his body so that he could watch as Amelia walked away from him again._

That's how all of the dreams ended for him, with his girl walking away and never looking back.

He woke up moments later, his body jumping awake as though he'd been physically forced out of his dream realm and back into reality. Steve wasn't in the field anymore at least. When he woke up he didn't have to see the ghost of his first date haunting him, instead, he was visited by numerous nurses that were checking on him and making sure that he was okay.

It was a bit embarrassing for Steve to have so many strangers cooing over him, gently placing their hands on him as though he was made of already cracked china.

The soldier had no memory of arriving back at the Avenger's facility and being taken to the med bay. When he first woke up, he'd jumped out of the bed they'd put him in and fought off the one or two agents that came up to him to try and calm him down. All he'd seen was a threat. Perhaps if he'd woken up with Amelia by his side then things would have gone a lot differently, but she wasn't there and neither were any of the other Avengers so it had been up to the nurses to yell at him his location and that he was safe. He'd become quickly apologetic but they'd forgiven him when he returned back to his bed and complied with all the tests they wanted to do on him to make sure he was okay.

He'd quickly become fatigued again, one of the nurses explaining to him kindly that it was because of his body healing itself that he was so tired. Then they listed all the injuries he'd managed to get from the group of punks that had kidnapped him, and it was far too long for him to recall.

Though Steve seemed incapable of relaxing, brain far too overrun with trying to figure out _how_ the punks got a hold of him and _why_ they'd needed him in the first place, but his body had demanded sleep and that's when he was revisited by Amelia in his dreams, something that had occurred many times before so he didn't think to question its contents when he woke up again. Similar to the first time he'd woken up in the medical ward, he was instantly visited by a nurse that checked his vitals. The only difference that particular time was that at his bedside was a Stark, just not the one he'd hoped to see.

Tony was relaxed in the cushiony chair at Steve's bedside, attention directed to his phone that he was messing with, a very serious expression on his face that was surprising in its appearance as Steve could never often find his friend in such a grave mood. A part of him hoped it was just because of Steve's hospitalisation and nothing else. He hoped that the other part of him which was trembling, as though some great horror had occurred, was just the part of him that was stuck inside of his dreams and not reality. He hoped that his dreams were just dreams.

"Hey," he didn't feel tired anymore. Steve had done plenty of sleeping, plenty of dreaming about Amelia, now he was ready to face what had happened to him and try to actually figure out what he'd gone through.

"Morning sleeping beauty," Tony returned in greeting, making the soldier wince as memories of broken bones resurfaced his brain at the words 'sleeping beauty'. Tony slipped his phone into his pocket. He didn't look at Steve, that's the first thing the soldier noticed. Tony stood up and moved over to the machine that was showing Steve's blood pressure and heart rate, proceeding to tap it on the screen, pretending like he was actually doing something productive.

"Please don't call me that," Steve replied through a sigh as he watched the billionaire continue to press buttons on the machine, knowing full well Tony wasn't actually doing anything but trying to distract himself from looking over at Steve. The soldier had many assumptions come to his head as to why Tony was avoiding him, choosing to ignore all thoughts that surrounded Amelia, repeating to himself that his dreams were just that, _dreams_.

Wanting to move on from his memories, Steve reminded himself that he'd been _kidnapped_. By no means was he a narcissist, but even he knew that he was a challenge to kidnap, it was why he'd been so disoriented whenever he'd wake up because it felt like such an impossibility to be so easily beaten. Frustration ripened in his belly and he released a long sigh. "What happened?" He asked Tony, hoping the billionaire would have some answers as Steve was assuming it had been the Avengers which had rescued him from the punks, memories of the gazebo and how he'd gotten there a complete blur.

The resigned look on Tony's face told Steve another story though. The billionaire sat himself back down and took his phone out again, tapping away as he spoke. "We were kind of hoping you'd be the one with the answers, Cap."

His cheeks puffed slightly as Steve stared straight ahead, trying to retrieve all the information he'd managed to get whilst in their hands, though it felt like he was swimming through jelly as he visited the memories. "They had me drugged for the most of it," he recalled to his friend who had started listening intensely though his eyes focused on his bed covers rather than him, "I saw them though, Tony… they were just a bunch of punk kids, they shouldn't have been able to take me down the way they did. I think they were just the henchmen, that someone was paying them to kidnap me. Someone who was also able to get their hands on pretty strong drugs."

Tony clapped his hands together and brought them up to his lip, phone held between his hands, leg beginning to bounce as theories jumped about in his head. "If someone was paying them to kidnap you, then that means someone also paid them to drop you off here, they wanted you for something."

The soldier nodded his head, agreeing with his theory and the room turned silent except for the beeping. There wasn't anything else Steve could really remember, just the punk kids and what they did to him. That's all the information he had… except, there were also the two dreams he'd had.

Steve almost didn't want to ask the following question, worried that his dreams might actually mean something but if they did then that meant Amelia was gone. What else was he meant to read from his dreams? She was always walking away from him, always being just out of reach from him. "Tony?"

"Hm?" Stark hummed, eyes still staring off into the distance, thinking over what information he'd been given. But the concern on his face showed that it wasn't just about Steve. Though Tony had spent the past two days searching for Steve with no luck, Friday had found Steve via a satellite and it seemed way too easy considering just how easily he'd slipped off the face of the earth. Tony was the first to arrive at the scene, setting off before the rest of the Avengers in his suit, not caring that he might be walking right into a trap because this was Cap, one of his best friends and his sister's boyfriend, nothing could have stopped him. But there was no one. Steve was just abandoned unconscious in the middle of a field, but not just any field, it was the field he'd chosen as Steve and Amelia's first date spot.

That had been the first thing that triggered his worry over Amelia. It just seemed like too much of a coincidence that they'd take Steve _there_ of all places. When he'd gotten back to the facility he'd decided to check on his sister, knowing she should be the first one to hear that Steve was back. But she wasn't there. She wasn't anywhere. He tried not to panic about it, Aaron told him it didn't seem like Amelia was going anywhere important when she'd left, and he had to trust that if Amelia found herself in some sort of danger she'd reach out to him.

But the more Steve talked, the more his words lacked details on Amelia, the more Tony had become worried.

"Where's Amelia?"

Tony's eyes flew to Steve's, stunned at the man's abilities to practically read his mind. It wasn't just his thoughts that Steve managed to read though, as he saw Tony's expression betraying the uncaring facade he was trying to push forth. It was only for a moment, but he saw the fear flash in his eyes. Then Steve was beating himself up because he was stupid enough to ignore the feeling he had that something bad was going on with Amelia.

He wasted no time removing himself from the bed, despite the ache in his bones that were still recovering and the burning sensation he felt as old wounds reopened themselves, he managed to stand up straight enough and take a step. He only managed to make the one step though as multiple nurses flooded into the room, moving in his way and blocking him off.

They thought he was trying to repeat what he'd done earlier but he wasn't trying to escape out of fear that time. Not fear for himself anyway. He looked at Tony as the nurses began to push against him gently, telling him to get back into bed.

The billionaire looked torn. He was the first one to see all of Steve's injuries, he knew just how much the super soldier needed to heal and maybe, just _maybe_ , they were all panicking for no reason and Amelia was just fine.

Steve looked desperately into his eyes. "This is Amelia," he reminded Tony, the anguish following his words.

In the end, Steve was right. Of course he was. It was Amelia. Tony's sister, Steve's girlfriend. And both of them felt like something had happened to her, which meant that Stark couldn't continue denying his concerns. Even if she did end up being fine, _it was Amelia_ , they owed it to her to at least make sure.

Tony began clicking his fingers in front of the nurse's faces, dispersing them and telling them it was fine and that Steve was needed for a meeting. The soldier nodded gratefully to the billionaire who shrugged his shoulders back to him, both of them beginning their journey to the meeting room. On their way Tony got out his mobile and sent a message to the rest of the Avengers that they needed to talk, making sure everyone was on red alert even though it was ten O'clock at night and most of them were retiring to bed.

No one disappointed though. The pair made it to the meeting room to find Thor, Natasha, Sam, Wanda and Vision already sat down waiting for them, as well as Aaron who had shuffled himself into the corner.

"Tony, why have you dragged Steve out of his room when he's meant to be on bed rest?" Nat admonished, looking between them with one raised eyebrow. It had been a shock to see the red alert flash up on her phone when she'd believed that the worst of everything had passed now that they had Steve back in their midst.

Looking offended, he scoffed at the redhead's accusation, about to berate her himself but Steve raised up his hand and tried to calm down their exchange before it reached the point where it became an argument. "I dragged myself out of bed," Steve explained, "now, has anybody heard from Amelia?"

The subject of their meeting had everyone seemingly surprised, most of them expecting Steve to have some pivotal information about an oncoming threat considering the way Tony had been acting but it was all just about Amelia. The Avengers looked at one another, waiting for someone to speak and share but they all slowly came to the realisation that none of them had actually seen her.

Wanda was the one to timidly raise her arm up, the only one of the Avengers who seemed to be taking Steve and Tony's concern on Amelia seriously. "The last time we saw her was at three in the morning yesterday, just after we found out you were missing." No one argued against her point, showing that what the witch had said was true for all of them.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean she's in danger," Natasha inputted, leaning forward against the table, "she might have just gone out for some food or something to relax herself."

"Did she know I'd gone missing?" Steve asked, easing into one of the office chairs that felt delightful to his worn limbs after they'd carried him all the way to the meeting room.

"Well, yeah," Natasha chose to not mention how they'd all decided to not tell Amelia about Steve only to have the brunette find out anyway.

"Then she didn't just go out for food, and she definitely won't have chosen to relax," Steve argued, a resolution in his tone. He knew Amelia wouldn't have simply accepted that he was in danger and chosen to clear her mind, he knew because that wasn't what he would do if their situations were reversed.

Wanda began to play with the hem of her long sleeves, picking at it until she loosened a thread. The witch didn't like the idea of her friend, training partner, and fellow psychic being in danger, not if she could do anything about it. The girl was already harbouring enough guilt after yesterday morning when she'd realised how much of a mistake it had been to try and separate Amelia from Steve's case. Wanda had assumed they were going to pay a grave price when Amelia had walked in that room surrounded by black energy but the brunette had once again shown her kindness by calming it down and giving in to their demands. Wanda didn't think Amelia should have done that. And if Amelia really had gone and put herself in danger by trying to rescue Steve on her own, then that was on _her_.

It seemed Vision managed to sense the Maximoff's worry, reaching out with his hand to caress hers, a soothing touch he'd learnt from observing the way Steve and Amelia behaved around each other. Though he wasn't quite sure why just yet, Vision had started to desire to do the same things to Wanda. Especially when it came to comforting Wanda when she was sad. He hated seeing her sad.

The issue was that that's all Wanda really had been since her brother had died, sacrificing himself to save Clint and a child. She'd thrown herself into training, trying to expel some of the anger she had whenever she fought with Amelia. That was another reason why the young Maximoff felt like she owed Amelia, because Amelia had been so patient with her through her grief.

Wanda smiled gratefully at Vision, another person who had been helping her deal with the torrent of emotions that had been beating her down since Pietro passed. He'd been like her own personal sunshine that always followed her around and smiled even when times were darkest. Wanda had found herself really starting to admire that smile he'd give her back. Even then, when they were both concerned for Amelia, Vision managed to smile supportively back at her. Somehow, the smile even managed to give her courage.

She turned back to Steve, leaning back up in her seat slightly, "so you think she went to rescue you, how do we know she actually achieved it? There is a chance that she's still just out there trying to find you."

Steve shook his head, gently denying her small bit of hope. "I'm here, aren't I?"

"Well that doesn't mean that Amelia's now in trouble," Natasha continued to argue, feeling like the only voice of reason in that room. Of course, she was worried about Amelia too, but the brunette was a grown woman who didn't need to be locked up in the facility all the time just so that everyone else could know she was safe. Nat needed solid proof before she began to get frantic like everyone else.

Sam was managing to keep himself pretty composed though, on Natasha's side when it came to getting the facts before he panicked. He gestured towards Tony, "you've got trackers on everyone, right? Did you try that?"

"Oh my god! You're right! How silly of me, a really smart person, to not even think of looking at her tracker," Tony sarcastically responded, waving his hands about theatrically. He took out his phone and opened up an app on it, swiping on the image so the hologram sprung into the room. It showed a map with a red dot flashing exactly where the facility was. "She's taken out her tracker."

"That can't be the only tracker you have though," Steve argued, eyes flashing knowingly over to Tony, full of hope. The soldier had actually been getting worried over the billionaire who'd started to become a recluse, inventing new objects that to him seemed useless. When he'd told Amelia about it though, she'd said that Tony was worried about something that Steve wouldn't be able to understand. It had certainly been perplexing at the time, but now Steve was actually glad for Tony making inventions for every purpose because maybe it meant that Tony had created something that would help them find Amelia.

He began messing around with his phone again. "I set two extra trackers on her, one in her bracelets and another in a key ring I gave her. She wasn't supposed to know about the tracker in her key ring but it looks like she did. They've all been left here. All we know is that she took a car from here, not ours and not just one. She ordered five," he threw up a video that showed a scene outside of the facility where she got inside a black car that was surrounded by others that looked exactly the same, none of them had licence plates.

"She played a game of 'what's under the cup' with cars… smart," Nat was starting to get a little worried, seeing how strange behaviour like that could mean Amelia had mixed herself up in something she shouldn't have. "Did you see where they went?"

"Friday's still working on tracking them," Tony sighed, throwing his phone onto the table and looking to everyone else. That was all he had on the case, and he'd hoped that perhaps they'd be able to give him more.

Thor had been remaining completely silent, hammer placed down on the table across from him which he stared at as an inner war went on in his mind. He wasn't trusting anything that had been going on. Amelia was first and foremost his friend, despite the duty he felt to make sure that her powers remained safe, he was worried for the brunette and wracking his mind over what knowledge he had on the space stone, thinking that perhaps they could somehow use the connection she had with it to track her down. The Tesseract and Loki's sceptre both emitted an energy that Banner had been able to track, perhaps she did too?

The entire room became tense as they all thought over what clues they had and what they could do with them, everyone's hearts feeling burdened with fret.

From the shadowed corner of the room, Aaron finally stepped out, another white envelope held tightly within his hand.

"Um, M-Mr Rogers… I- I was given this the other day and I- well I, I didn't know whether it really meant anything or not. It seems like a joke if you ask me. Impossible, even. But now I'm starting to think maybe… I think it - the letter, I mean - might actually be from Amelia." By the time he'd finished his stuttered speech, he'd reached Steve's side, the white envelope being handed over to him like a prized jewel atop a cushion which was made out of Aaron's smooth hands.

Steve looked from the letter to Aaron, having to remind himself who the boy was. Amelia spent a lot of time with him, Steve knew that. Though, from his perspective, it was more like the boy was spending a lot of time with her. The blond secretary always seemed to be searching her out, and whenever Amelia was training, more often than not, Steve would find the boy in the training room as well, watching her and having the odd conversation with her whenever she had a break.

Slowly, almost fearing it, Steve took the letter from Aaron's hands. Everyone's attention was on him as he read through it, trying to gouge its contents from his reaction. His perplexed expression had stiffened into an emotionless one though, and once it seemed he was done with the letter, Steve did something none of them had been expecting.

The super soldier jumped out of his seat and wrapped his hand around Aaron's throat, pushing him harshly into the wall where he was incapable of escaping. "Where did you find this letter?!" He demanded, rage seeping through his every word.

Aaron could only stutter in response, incapable of forming a proper word as he faced who he'd always known was the real monster. They'd said it was Amelia but he'd known the truth and there it was, on full display for everyone to see. Captain America may have been born a fighter, but he was made into the gatekeeper of what became an endless war, at least for him. Even though World War II had ended, when he was reborn, so was that war. But war had always blurred the lines between right and wrong, and that's what Captain America was. A blurred line. The judge, jury, executioner and the weapon that handed out the sentence. Captain America was the monster the world got to dress up as a hero by colouring him red, white and blue.

The secretary would have released a self-righteous laugh if he wasn't being choked by the self-proclaimed hero.

All the Avengers jumped up out of their seats and tried to stop him, Thor really the only match for Steve strength wise but even then the soldier was so persistence it was becoming a challenge. Steve had taken the form of Mjolnir for a moment, an unmoving hammer that possessed destructive capabilities and could gladly execute them, but first, he needed to find out if Aaron was worthy of it.

"Steve, let him go. Whatever that letter says, you know this isn't right," ever the voice of reason, Natasha had stepped over the table to join her friend's side, gently placing her hand on his shoulder. She wasn't able to decide whether Aaron deserved what was happening to him or not, but she knew that the person holding him to the wall _wasn't_ Steve Rogers. It was just a man possessed. "Come on Steve. Back off," she persisted, urging with her voice to get through whatever red shaded fog had clouded his mind.

Tony wandered behind them, not daring to face off Steve when he didn't have his suit on. Instead he concentrated on the letter, picking it up from where Steve had discarded it on the table and beginning to read through it.

"What does it say?" Wanda asked, nervous to know after the soldier's reaction.

He began to read the letter aloud to everyone in the room:

 _Dear Aaron,_

 _I can't do it anymore. I crave it so much. The blood, the knives, the power. I'm afraid if I keep denying myself it then I'll fall apart and end up hurting Steve or my brother. You've been my rock in this place, always so kind to me even when I first started telling you about my unique cravings. So I've chosen to send you this letter, because I think you'll be the only one who'll understand what I mean, and probably the only one that will believe me at first._

 _Of course there's Steve, who I think I really did love, but I just love the hunt more. And Tony, I feel sorry for getting his hopes up but I was never truly his sister, I tried, I really did. I tried so hard. But it felt like I was drowning myself underneath some strangers skin. I can't keep doing that. I need to breathe. So I think this is it. Steve's been kidnapped so there's no need for me to stay here anymore. They won't even let me help with finding him which just shows that no one here trusts me, hell, I don't even trust me._

 _I think Steve will be angry at first. He won't accept that it's true. I don't think any of them will really… I had everyone fooled, huh? I think I fooled myself for a little while too, which is probably why this is so hard. But it was always what I was made to do, Aaron, that's why I can't run away from it anymore. I'm not saying it's my destiny, I don't believe in that shit. I just think it's what I was born to do._

 _That's what I learnt from Steve, that some people are born to fight. It's not that they were born with a brave heart or strong hands. It's just that a person, or people, or the universe, have decided that that person is the one who will have grit and fire and steel in their blood. They made Steve into that. And they made me into that too. That's why we face trial after trial and become broken and damaged but are never, ever, given time to heal. Because we're born to fight. It's not the life I would have chosen for myself, now that I know of other lives I think if I was ever given the choice I'd choose a farmhouse like Clint's in the middle of nowhere. But I was born to fight, and to kill, it's what I know. It's what I do best. It's all I can do. I wasn't born to be soft and quiet, I was meant to make the world crumble beneath my fingertips, you know?_

 _Steve being kidnapped, it's a sign. I couldn't keep him safe because I wasn't meant to keep people safe. So now I'm going back to my old life, I know the Avengers will save him and they'll save each other. And hopefully our paths will never cross. I fear if they do, then I'll have no choice but to kill them. That's a warning to you too, dear sweet Aaron, don't come looking for me or I will kill you._

 _I'm going to miss you, and I hope that you achieve a lot with this job. I hope Tony stops being such a jackass to you._

 _Yours truly, Amelia x_

Steve's hand had loosened, the contents of the letter wrapping around his own heart like chains, choking him from the inside. It was a joke. Aaron had just handed them one big joke. There was no way Amelia wrote that. There was no way she'd ever leave him.

His hand loosened and dropped down to his side, Aaron dropping to the floor and coughing, his entire body shaking out of fear as tears slipped out of his eyes. He rubbed them away angrily, wishing that he wasn't so fearful of everything. That's the one quality of Captain America's that he was jealous of, at least Cap was brave.

"It isn't true, none of that is real," Steve argued huskily, "all we need to do is find her, and then I can prove that the letter isn't true."

"Yeah, but, Steve, we have no idea where she could be," Nat gave the soldier's shoulder a supportive squeeze, trying to remind him that she was on his side. Amelia was her best friend, there was no way in hell Natasha was going to believe in that letter either. Tony, on the other hand, was reading the letter over one more time.

The soldier looked down at Aaron, feeling regret purge his stomach but he couldn't concentrate on that. He'd apologise to the blond boy later, but at that moment he genuinely hated him for handing him such a blatant _lie_. "Yes, we do. The sewers. I could still smell the sewers where they kept me, I don't think they even bothered to take me to a different location, they tried to trick me into thinking we had though. That would explain why they did so many left turns."

"Okay, then we'll all get ready to go," Nat stepped away from Steve, moving to leave so that she could go and change from her pyjamas into her suit but then she noticed that Tony was _still_ reading the letter. "You coming Tony?"

He looked up, instantly putting on a mask and smiling at the redhead, "yeah, of course. Just going to drop this off in the lab." He joined Natasha's side, completely ignoring the disbelieving glare she sent his way as they exited the room.

Wanda crossed her arms, still sitting in the room, knowing full well she wouldn't be invited to go on the mission as she still wasn't ready. It angered her. Vision placed a calming touch on her arm, "we'll find her." She gave him back a grateful smile, but it didn't feel real as her belief wasn't real either. She'd seen inside the brunette's mind, and she knew that a part of Amelia had always felt stuck to that life. Wanda had thought that Amelia had changed her mind after Ultron and fully given up that part of herself but now the witch was having second thoughts.

Thor remained in that room too, stood by Steve's side, ensuring he didn't attack anyone else. He stepped closer to the soldier, beginning to whisper lowly into his ear. "Steve-"

"Don't," the soldier interrupted, nostrils flaring as he instantly guessed what it was the god would have to say. He knew all about the god's fears over Amelia's powers, and if Amelia really had changed sides than that meant her powers were officially in the wrong hands. But she hadn't changed sides, so Thor shouldn't be worrying. Steve walked past Thor, ignoring the god completely. He hated how angry he'd gotten but his protectiveness over Amelia was taking over, his love showing it's dark side in the face of so many adversities. Steve hadn't even fully wrapped his mind around what was in the letter, he wouldn't allow himself to either, because it simply wasn't true.

And he didn't care what anyone said. He didn't care if the god's themselves spelt it out in the stars that Amelia Stark had decided to return to her old life of bloodied knives and bloodied hands. He _was_ going to find his girl, and he _was_ going to take her home, and at the end of the day, they _were_ going to share a mug of hot chocolate.

* * *

 **A/N: So, what do you guys think has happened? Who do you think kidnapped Steve? LET ME KNOW BECAUSE IT BRINGS ME GREAT JOY READING YOUR GUESSES.**

 **To LieuDrake, I'm hoping to reach a side of Steve people don't often write about with Amelia away, so whilst he is a sweet innocent baby, we need to remember he's a badass, a hella protective badass. BUT DON'T WORRY WE'LL GET SWEET AND INNOCENT STEVE AGAIN JUST HOLD ON THROUGH THE ANGST!**

 **To Sam0728, well done on the guess, Steve thinks the exact same thing, that Amelia went to save him. Did she though? You MIGHT POSSIBLY get the answer in the next chapter lol.**

 **To BrittStar1199, is it the punks playing mind games or Amelia though?**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, I hope it is interesting! It was definitely interesting to write ^^ I actually enjoyed it more than I thought I would because usually I'm far too worried about ruining a character to do entire chapters from their POV**

 **To Pitspee, either I'm not as secretive as I like to think I am, or you're a really good guesser. But yes, part three is the part where we truly see the terrifying depths of Amelia's powers. I'm so excited to write those scenes!**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, all your questions will be answered slowly but surely, I promise! And thank you, I've finished all the Steve chapters now and it was surprisingly fun writing his POV, like I thought I'd be too timid because I don't want to destroy his character but I'm actually pretty proud of how I've portrayed his character, it's a side to him I believe is there but people rarely concentrate on it.**

 **And a big thank you to everyone that read the chap!**


	53. Chapter Fifty

**CHAPTER FIFTY**

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" _Every person must choose how much truth he can stand."_

― _**Irvin D. Yalom**_

* * *

The issue with the punks lair being linked to the sewers was that it meant there were many possible locations. It couldn't have been a building above where Steve was kidnapped because the map of the area showed that there weren't actually any buildings around, that meant it could have been any buildings linked to the sewers and there were at least a hundred. Steve gave what information he could recollect on the punks so Friday could do a better job of finding them via surveillance cameras, doubting that they would have been so careful to avoid every camera, especially because they would have needed to go to shops for all their alcohol and smokes.

The area wasn't a very rich one though, meaning most of the kids seen around looked like punks. Just a bunch of little boys pretending to be men because that's what the world around them had enforced.

Steve didn't like how much time they were wasting on looking through surveillance though, having spent the better part of their day doing so, he eventually came to the decision to make the team go on the hunt themselves, everyone dressing down for the mission so that they could enter the rundown area without setting off any alarm bells. Except for Tony, of course, who had to do everything as theatrically as possible, setting off ahead of everyone else in his Iron Man suit.

The plan was simple, Tony and Steve would take the docks where the sewer ended and explore there whilst the rest of the team would explore any abandoned buildings and warehouses through the town that matched Steve's description. The soldier could at least recall that the building he'd been in wasn't a home in the traditional sense, it didn't look like he was inside an apartment as the space was far too wide.

The docks that Steve and Tony went to first were surprisingly empty. It was a wednesday so Steve had expected there to have been plenty of people working but it was completely abandoned, there were no boats parked by but all the surrounding warehouses seemed like they could still be of some use.

The quiet was eery and the world still seemed grey to the soldier. He didn't want there to be any colour though, not whilst Amelia wasn't by his side.

"It's like a zombie apocalypse went through here," Tony commented, landing beside Steve near the docks after flying over the space and getting an aerial view of the setting. It was completely desolate. Old graffiti covered some of the walls, most of it chipping off. It wasn't artistic graffiti though, more like warnings and random gang labels. From his view above, Tony had been able to see a message that had been sprayed on top of one of the roofs in white spray paint, boldly stating 'WAKE UP'. He'd entered the kind of world his comfy upbringing had blinded him to and it was actually making him a little nervous. "Scan for signs of life, Friday."

"Yes boss," the AI responded, setting to work and using the satellite above to search through their location.

Whilst his AI did that, Tony turned back to Steve and approached him, "do you recognise anything?"

Sighing, his head fell down slightly, "no, I was too drugged up." His frustration was as clear as a clown in a room full of mimes, all he'd seemed to do since getting the letter from Aaron was sigh. For the most part, he'd remained silent, only worrying everyone further but he'd refused to talk about Amelia to anyone, even Natasha who he'd usually confide in with such things.

Tony was in a similar place, which is why it was so easy for him to pat Steve's shoulder and offer him some comfort. But the difference between the billionaire and the soldier was that he wasn't so sure that it was a lie. He wasn't so tangled in Amelia's web like Steve that he was incapable of seeing all the facts. The facts being Amelia's long standing history of being a killer. It stood for something, even if they didn't want it to.

"I've got news boss," Friday chimed as she finished scanning the area.

"Good or bad?"

"I'm not sure," she responded, images beginning to appear in front of Stark within his mask that showed an x-ray version of the surrounding buildings, letting him see inside of them all. The first three buildings he looked towards were completely empty, mirroring the barren outside. Then Tony's eyes landed on the third building, a warehouse that had mostly been boarded up, Friday's scan showing that littering the floor were numerous bodies.

Immediately he began to make his way towards it, clapping on Steve's shoulder and signalling towards the warehouse so the soldier knew where their next destination would be. He flew up, arriving on the roof and making his way down into the building whilst Cap took the lower ground. It hadn't looked like there were any active enemies roaming the building but they still needed to be careful of traps which was why they had to split up first. It was a basic strategy they didn't really need to discuss as they'd worked with each other enough times to have an unspoken plan be made for most situations.

Steve made sure to duck behind as many objects as he could in order to approach the building unseen, slowly but surely making his way into the abandoned warehouse. He chose to not go in through the main entrance, instead circling the building so that he could go in through the back.

He found a small metal door unlocked, already half open when he got there. Tentatively, Steve reached out for the handle and pushed it open, having to push the door against something weighted behind it. He didn't open it all the way, just enough for him to slide inside. The weight that had been behind the door turned out to be a dead body, and it wasn't the only one in the room.

The backdoor had led him into some sort of office space that was separated from the rest of the warehouse, and inside of it were three dead bodies. Steve wandered in further, inspecting the bodies and trying to build a scene in his head. Two of the bodies were closer to the door than the third which was in the doorway that led into the warehouse, they'd fallen face first which meant they must have been attacked from behind whilst running to get out. He moved over to the third body, able to see the back of his head better through the sunlight that leaked between one of the wooden boards filling up the windows. There wasn't any knife in his back or a bullet hole, there was, however, a giant hole that tore all the way through his chest as though a giant fireball had gone through him. A frown pursed Steve's lips as he remembered that Amelia's shards of light had the capability to do such a thing.

He turned his head away, looking over the rest of the office's expanse and finding other things to take his attention away, things that wouldn't back up that forsaken letter he'd read. There was a small corner of the room which had been emptied of desks, only a lamp remaining in the corner to light up a certain spot of the floor that was coated underneath a giant puddle of blood. It was a familiar corner for Steve.

The soldier walked forward, moving to stand in the small corner and then he turned around, facing a very familiar view of boarded windows. It didn't look so hellish in the daylight, but there was a darkness still cast over the warehouse that whispered of unseen horrors. There was no doubt about it, that was where he'd been kept and beaten by the punks that kidnapped him.

Steve had thought that finding the location would be a relief to him, but it wasn't. Not at all.

The dead body he'd found showed a sign that Amelia had been there, which meant she had come to find him and save him, clearly she had succeeded. But Steve was wondering what the cost of that must have been. He was free, and from what he could see, everyone that had played a hand in capturing him and beating him, had become a discarded corpse on the ground.

Steve still didn't believe in the letter Aaron had shared with the group. There wasn't a single cell in his body that believed Amelia would ever leave him in such a way. But he knew Amelia wouldn't think twice before coming after any monster that touched him, and that wasn't a good thing either. He knew her loyalty, in a way he'd built it himself because, after all, he was the one who'd taught her what love was. It's why their devotion was so similar. For her, he'd set the entire world on fire if it meant he could save her life. Steve had never thought such a love could be a bad thing until he found himself looking into the dead eyes of fifty corpses, partly blaming himself for their deaths though he hated himself for feeling even a semblance of sympathy for the brutes that had beaten him and lured in Amelia. His sympathy was quickly overshadowed by concern though; Amelia had come to save him and punished them, that's what the evidence suggested, so where was she now?

"Hey, stop moving!" Tony's voice echoed throughout the expanse of the warehouse, reaching the office that Steve was in and making him jump into action, immediately becoming alert. He jogged his way out of the office and into the warehouse, having to weave his way around multiple dead bodies.

Tony was in the middle of the warehouse circled by dead bodies and in the centre was the one man Steve was able to recognise from his previous drug induced visit to the location. The bleached blond punk had slid himself over to a barrell in the middle of the room, propping himself up against it and holding one hand to his chest where blood was continuously leaking out, a trail of the red substance on the floor showing his journey to the barrell, and his other hand was holding onto a bottle of whiskey. He was breathing erratically and from the way his head seemed to be lolling from side to side it seemed the punk was either extremely drunk or losing consciousness, perhaps losing life. He didn't seem at all fussed that Tony was holding out his hand, aiming his repulsor towards the man.

The punk continued to ignore Tony's orders as he lifted up the bottle of whiskey and took a long sip, fueling the billionaire to yell at him once more. "Hey, Mike Dirnt, I said stop moving right now. What the hell happened here?"

"Names Milo sweet cheeks, not Mike." He responded, voice airy and uncaring. The punk, Milo, didn't seem really interested in what the billionaire was doing, far too worried about the blade lodged in his chest. He didn't want to pull it out because he figured the knife was stopping all the blood from flowing out of his body, but from the dizziness he was experiencing, he knew it didn't really matter any more. Looking back to Tony, he lazily waved the bloodied hand he'd previously been using to hold over his wound. "I'm sorry, got a bit of a hangover, which one are you? The brother? I feel like you're probably the brother. Iron Jackass or something, right?"

Tony scoffed again. He'd entered the warehouse from above and found the graveyard before Steve, also recognising the holes burnt into their chests as a product of Amelia's abilities. Whilst searching one of the bodies he'd heard the sound of a glass bottle touching the ground behind him and practically jumped in the air with fright, instantly turning and aiming his repulsor beam at the enemy. But instead of finding an actual foe he'd just found some bleached blond boy that didn't seem completely sure where he was.

"You really want to call me names right now?"

"Oh come on, I'm already dying, what's the worst you can do?" Milo challenged, taking another long swig of his drink. If he was going to die, then he wanted to do it as inebriated as possible. As he'd turned his head to inhale his alcohol, his dull grey orbs had spotted the approaching soldier. He wasn't dressed in his suit anymore, instead, the man was wearing much more casual clothes so that made him a little hard to spot, but Milo would recognise that defined jawline anywhere. The punk raised up his drink, cheering at the approaching soldier. "Ah, sleeping beauty! You've come back for me, that's sweet but a little too late if I'm honest," the smile that stretched his lips was sideways and it wobbled, but his eyes showed how much he appreciated having the view of the super soldier before him, slowly working their way over his body, infiltrating Steve's skin uncomfortably. "Looks like you're all healed up as well, not as fast as I'd hoped you'd be. I think Timmy's already dead though so, bets are off."

Steve was very tempted to punch Milo in the face. Though his memory was a bit foggy he could still remember being beaten within an inch of his life by Milo and his band of punks, and that gave the soldier enough reason to want a little bit of revenge. He clenched his fists by his side, trying to calm himself down, reminding himself there was something more important than his battered pride. "Who did all of this?" He managed to ask the question with a calm enough voice, impressing both himself and Tony.

The punk rolled his eyes and exhaled a disappointed sigh, as though Steve's question had been the most boring thing he'd ever heard. "I don't really think there's any need to ask me that." He took another swig of his drink, then looking at Steve with a meaningful gaze. "You already know."

For once, Tony hated to hear that he was right. More and more evidence was coming up which told him Amelia really had gone rogue. The massacre in front of them was a huge sign that his sister had lost control, but that didn't mean Tony didn't want to help her anymore. He'd been one of the first on the team to label her as a monster and he'd learnt she had the capabilities of being so much more, and Steve had helped her see that once, he was sure they could do it again. They just needed to get to her and subdue her first.

With a decision in his mind he turned to Steve, pushing on the super soldier's shoulder so that he wasn't near the punk anymore. "I'll call the rest of the guys over here," he told Steve, figuring that the best way they'd be able to get Amelia was if they did it together. Plus, he wanted to get away from the punk who's sass was just outright irritating to the billionaire.

Milo had continued to listen though, watching the two Avengers from his seat on the ground and deciding that he wanted to push them further. "I know I'm going to die and I'm probably going to go to hell but it was truly an honour to watch her work. We'd all heard about her, the experiment and just… wow. She's got moves. I bet she's good in bed, aye?"

The soldier's nostrils flared, jaw tightening, giving Milo more to admire. "You need to shut up, right now," he warned. Tony, who had remained at Steve's side, tightened his hand on Steve's shoulder. Ever since he'd lashed out at Aaron everyone had been put on edge over the soldier's behaviour.

"Or what, Captain America? You gonna put me down like a dog? _Please_." Milo rolled his eyes dramatically, testing Steve's patient even further but both of them knew he wouldn't do anything. Steve had too much pride and honour. "You can't do it because you're just too good, clearly better than us. We're all the devil, right? We must be part demon, that would explain all the killing and the addictions. That's why none of us could understand why you and the experiment got together. Your halo's practically blinding me. Hell, maybe that's why she left you in the end too."

"You don't know me, and you definitely don't know Amelia," Steve argued back, trying to walk forward but he got pushed back by Tony. The billionaire earned himself a cold glare from the soldier.

"How sure are you of that? You know, I used to have this buddy, a proper addict. I'm talking, every second of his life he needed to be high on something or he'd go loopy, and not the good kind of loopy, an angry kind of loopy." He began to cough, red painting his pale lips and metal coating his tongue, Milo tried to get rid of it with another shot of whiskey. "Amelia, the experiment, goddess of the kill, whatever the fuck you want to call her, she had that same look of addiction in her eyes when she killed all of us."

He was dying. Slowly. Milo didn't want to die slow though, he'd lived his entire life on the fast lane, it felt wrong to be ending it on a different one. He looked down at the knife embedded in his chest, knowing full well that it was the reason he'd managed to last as long as he did.

"She chose me to be last, I told her I was in charge, the one who ordered everyone to beat the shit out of you, suppose she decided I needed to be the one to suffer the most. Got to appreciate her artistry there. She stabbed me right in the heart and looked me in the eyes… I looked back into hers, and I saw it. The darkness. Is that what I'm going to? Just... emptiness." His eyes stared off into nowhere as his hands raised to the knife in his chest, knuckles wrapping tightly around the hilt of it.

Steve and Tony were done listening to him, hearing his words becoming quieter and less comprehensible. The soldier wasn't going to have the man die on his watch anyway, not when the information the man possessed was so priceless. They both turned away from him and began communicating into the comms to the rest of the Avengers, relaying to them their location and what they'd found so far. Neither of them were aware of Milo Hudson, a brave little punk, pulling the knife out of his heart. They didn't know until he was screaming out, the pain blinding him momentarily. They didn't know until it was too late.

Both Steve and Tony rushed to his side, eyes wide. Tony grabbed the knife as Milo flung it away, having no more use for the bloodied weapon. Steve tried to press his hand on top of the wound but blood continued to pour out without any care of his attempts to stop it.

"Hey, sleeping beauty," Milo cattishly remarked, staring up into his brilliant blue orbs and smiling despite the pain he was in. "I… I think I'm dying. Man, I'm- I'm kind of scared." He could feel the sweat drench his skin and the throbbing behind his eyes and the ringing vibrating his ears and the thumping of his heart against his chest. It was fear. For those that knew Milo Hudson, they never thought him capable of such an emotion. But the emotion was potent, torturing his gut and churning his stomach into tense cramps. The fear overwhelmed Milo, made him feel exhausted, but more importantly, it made him calm.

Steve saw the sweat and the fear, and when he looked into Milo's dulling eyes he found himself hoping again. Because if Milo died then so did Steve's only lead on Amelia. So he hoped that maybe, just maybe, Milo would be a decent human in his last few moments living. Because that's what Captain America always did in the end, he hoped."Then do one last good thing with your life."

The punk laughed, already knowing what Steve was going to ask him and he found humour in the idiocy Steve showed. Milo had made it quite clear from the start of their exchanges that he wasn't a good guy, he never wanted to be, that wasn't just going to change. "Like that'll mean shit," he spluttered through his coughs, knowing full well even if he cured cancer that it wouldn't undo all of his past sins.

"Just tell me the truth. Amelia, has she gone rogue?" Steve continued to beg, hand scrunching up the fabric of Milo's shirt as he gave up on trying to put pressure on the wound. His hand and the sleeve of his shirt had become covered in blood and Milo's eyes were beginning to shut but Steve _needed_ to know the truth. Though, he wasn't even sure if Milo did tell him the truth that he would believe it.

Milo laughed, though it wasn't as boisterous as the others. It had an air of sadness to it. And then he stopped laughing, and he stopped breathing, and he stopped living.

"No!" Steve yelled out, banging his fist against the man's chest but he fell limp to the ground, the bottle of whiskey discarded on the floor and leaking it's contents, mingling with Milo's blood. "No," the second time Steve said the word he was more defeated.

Tony looked at the soldier sympathetically, own heart hurting as he thought of his sister. He felt just as lost as Steve did at that moment, looking down at the knife in his hand. It was Amelia's knife, he knew because he'd been the one to give it to her. "There's one way we could find out if she really has gone rogue," he whispered the statement, unsure of the plan that had been teetering in his mind since Aaron had given them the letter.

The soldier remained kneeling on the floor, shoulders slumped. "What are you talking about?"

"There's a way for us to learn if she's been thinking about going rogue, you know, having dark thoughts or… whatever," he didn't want to completely disregard the idea that perhaps she'd been playing them the entire time and had been doing bad things in the shadows. "There's someone who can tell us."

It took Steve a moment but he finally realised what the billionaire had been suggesting. "Tony, no," he quickly denied, standing back up and turning to face Tony who'd lifted up the mask of his suit to reveal his face, "those sessions are private."

"Exactly. She'll have told her therapist things, and if she really has been pulling an Anakin, jumping off to the dark side, then she'll have told her therapist about it before doing it." He spoke with his hands, trying to make his point clearer to Steve, clearly disagreeing on whether those sessions should stay private. The soldier remained unmoved though, so Tony persisted further. "It's the only way we'll find out for sure."

Steve couldn't even fathom a response, completely torn between his morals and his worries. When a minute passed of silence, Tony chose that to be a response.

He put his mask on and began to walk away from Steve, "Aaron, call Dr Rebecca Kaplan and get her over to the facility ASAP."

* * *

 **A/N: So the threat of the punks is over, so why hasn't Amelia returned?**

 **And as a sidenote, I watched Violet Evergarden on Netflix today and I swear to god it's basically the plot to my story only more beautiful and I cried so much.**

 **To The Observer 2.O, bloody love seeing your long reviews. I can't say much on the letter without giving anything away but I'm glad you noticed some of the weird things in that letter which Amelia wouldn't normally say. Most of your questions get answered though. And whaaaattttttt noooooo Aaron is a sweet baby too pure for this world. And yus, I learnt the whole POV thing when I did The Great Gatsby, it's one of my favourite things to play around with. I'm afraid I didn't think about his DNA, but if I ever write another part that is completely my own plot then I might use that idea. As far now, Captain America's blood isn't whats important to the person/people orchestrating all these problems. And, because I don't think I mentioned it in enough detail, the agents that went with him were either killed or took part in his kidnapping. 'They want Amelia to be unleashed' yes, but why? Why would someone need _her_? Like you said, they had Captain America and his blood, they could do so much. So why did they give up that opportunity and take Amelia instead? **

**To Unajet, glad you understand what I'm trying to portray with protective Steve! And yes, there was a letter with the image, you'll get to know what it says in chapter 53. And though Rumlow is a nice idea, I can confirm it isn't him but it is clearly someone familiar enough with Steve and Amelia to know weaknesses and stuff.**

 **To BrittStar1199, feel free to ask me questions! I'm trying my best to make sure there's no confusion but because I write chapters everyday I sometimes miss stuff.**

 **To Pitspee, yaaasssss, that whole 'maybe you haven't seen my dark side yet' heavily inspired how I've written Steve in this, and how I'm going to write Steve's character in Civil War as well. And yes, angry Steve is hot af and I'll never tire of writing him like that.**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, is Aaron shifty af? I haven't noticed, he's such an angel. What a big ball of sunshine. Too pure. And nice guesses, but I confirm nothing yet! I've said before that Civil War will be mentioned a bit, mostly near the end of this arc, and your guesses sort of tie into WHY the accords are gonna be mentioned.**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, thank you! That's one of the greatest compliments you can give me tbh, I once spent a six month hiatus from writing because I just hated my writing and felt like it wasn't 'beautiful'. The hiatus pretty much killed me but I'm back now and I feel like my writings taken a turn for the better. So yeah, thank you so much! I know I keep repeating it, maybe I keep repeating it for a certain purpose, but nah, Aaron's a sweet baby who could do no wrong whatsoever :)))))))**

 **And a big thanks to everyone that read the chapter!**


	54. Chapter Fifty-One

**CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE**

* * *

" _I am drowning, my dear, in seas of fire."_

― _**Virginia Woolf**_

* * *

Steve returned to the Avengers facility with the rest of the group, relaying what Stark had decided to do on their way there. Vision had suggested that perhaps it just be Tony and Steve to meet with the doctor seen as they were, technically, Amelia's immediate family and it was Amelia's private information which would be shared.

It still didn't stop Steve from hating the idea though. It felt disrespectful to be prying into her personal meetings with her therapist, and more importantly, it felt like it just showed how much they weren't trusting Amelia by having the audacity to pry into such a thing. The soldier felt like asking questions was wrong, and a big waste of time. What they should have been doing was trying to find her, putting all their efforts onto that, rather than spending hours of their lives trying to check that Amelia wasn't the villain she was suddenly being portrayed as.

When he returned to the facility he had to get changed out of his clothes because half of his sleeve was covered in Milo's blood and he didn't fancy meeting Amelia's therapist in such a bloodied ensemble.

Deciding to do so was a mistake.

Steve hadn't been in his and Amelia's room since he got back. When he first stepped into the bedroom his heart became like stone, feeling cold and heavy inside of his chest as his blue eyes observed forlorn at the setting around him. It felt like he was observing a crime scene. The bed had clearly been slept in, or, not slept in but Amelia had obviously once been sat in it eating junk food. Empty bowls were scattered on the bed, covers messily scrunched up and old food was descorating the sheets, clearly being thrown as she got out of bed.

A despondent chuckle passed Steve's chapped lips as he stepped closer to the bed, hands picking up a bowl and he began to pick up the mess Amelia had left on the sheets. How typical, he mused, even when she wasn't there he still found himself cleaning up after her and perhaps the strangest thing of all was just how much Steve yearned to clean up after her at that moment, because then at least she'd be by his side.

One tear betrayed the brave facade the soldier was trying to maintain, and it seemed that one tear was enough to break the damn as he found himself biting down harshly on his bottom lip to try and keep any other tears from falling. He couldn't cry, if he cried then that meant he was admitting that Amelia was gone.

In a way he blamed himself. Amelia had gone to that warehouse to save him, he knew that much. He was the catalyst for everything that had been happening, and in his mind that included Amelia changing sides. If only he'd been calmer when his first team got attacked in the sewers, not only would his teammates have lived but then the punks wouldn't have been able to drug him and drag him to their base. He'd been stupid, and weak. And he hated himself so much.

Despite the bloody sleeve and the tears falling down his face, Steve concentrated on cleaning up the sheets, even changing the bed because he knew how much Amelia loved the feel of clean sheets despite always being the one to mess them up. After that he cleaned himself up and steeled himself once again.

When he got out of the shower Friday told him that Dr Kaplan had arrived and was in the meeting room, he thanked the AI and dressed himself up in clean clothes. The walk-in wardrobe was a mess, with the last outfit Amelia wore thrown on the floor. It was Steve's shirt, the one he'd given her to look after whilst he was away but he couldn't concentrate on that or it would make him more downhearted and that would only blur his mind, he needed to stay focused. He needed to save Amelia. Because that's what he does, he saves Amelia and they live a happily ever after. That's what Steve told himself anyway.

He walked his way through the facility, taking his time as he walked. He didn't say hello to any of the other agents like he usually did. The agents that worked in the facility were always starry-eyed for Steve, he was one of the first ever superheroes and they'd grown up hearing stories about him from their parents, he was a legend and for the most part he had no issue being their idol but on that day he couldn't bear the weight of making them happy when he also had Amelia balancing on his shoulders. They always expected him to be happy and proper and heroic. No one really saw him as a human being that could feel sadness just like everyone else. In that moment it was all he seemed capable of feeling.

When he eventually reached the meeting room, Tony and Aaron were stood outside of it talking privately, voices low. When the billionaire spotted Steve he clapped the small secretary on the shoulder and told him to go, the blond immediately scattering away when his eyes connected with the soldiers. They widened with fear, filling Steve up with guilt that he had to bitterly swallow down.

"Hey," Tony greeted, stepping closer to Steve, "the doctor's in there ready and waiting. Are you going to be okay with this?"

Steve didn't even look like himself anymore, not from Tony's perspective. The soldier had a deep set frown on his lips, the bottom one still busted from his stay at the punks warehouse. His once ocean breeze blue eyes had settled to the same shade as the arctic ocean, the morose gaze the soldier was expressing reminded Tony of the settling of waves before a storm that would cause the worst possible catastrophe. A storm that would break down homes and ruin entire cities. A storm without mercy. A storm that stole away hope.

It was sad to see that look on a man like Steve. Captain America was meant to be the nations hope, but the man before Tony looked so hopeless it was hard to recognise the superhero in him.

So the billionaire decided he'd hope for him, he'd hope that their talk with Amelia's therapist would show more light on their case, he'd hope that Amelia really hadn't gone over to the dark side.

"Let's just get this over with," Steve sighed, feeling as weary as he looked. He walked into the room behind Tony, still a tad apprehensive to go prying into Amelia's private information but it was clearly the only way he was going to get everyone else to believe that Amelia was still the angel he painted her to be. Of course, she was a fallen angel in his depictions, but Steve was still able to tell her halo apart from horns.

As they entered, Dr Rebecca Kaplan stood up to greet them, shaking both of their hands as they all seated themselves close together at the end of the table. "When I got called here, I expected to see Amelia but apparently I was thinking of the wrong Stark," the doctor seemed in a good mood, though her eyes strayed on Steve's, smile faltering when she saw his battered and worn exterior.

Tony gave her a short smile, not able to conjure up his usual cocky exterior as his brain worried frantically over his sister and his nerves kept shaking his body as he awaited what Mia's therapist would tell him about his sister. Things he was sure he wouldn't want to know about her, but things he needed to know just the same. "Dr Kaplan, I don't think we've met, I'm Tony and this is-"

"Steve Rogers. Yes, I've heard plenty about the both of you from Amelia, she loves you both very much," Rebecca thought that saying that would finally bring smiles up onto their faces but they remained to frown. She scrunched her eyebrows together and turned to Tony, realising the serious air that was beginning to fill the room, "I- I'm sorry, why am I here Mr Stark?"

"It's Amelia," Tony sighed.

"Is she okay?" The worry was clear in her tone and she leant forward in her seat, closer to them, trying to read from their expressions what could have happened to her patient but all that Rebecca could read was concern, which had her even more worried.

"Well, no, not really. It looks like she's gone back to her old ways-"

"But we don't know for sure," Steve interrupted Tony, instantly jumping to Amelia's defence and not backing down when Tony sent him a look for cutting off the billionaire. The soldier turned his gaze back to the therapist, "we're hoping that you can tell us whether she has or hasn't."

Rebecca leant back into her seat, absorbing the information they'd shared with her, but not a single fibre of shock or surprise seemed to cross her wrinkled face.

Her hands automatically reached towards her bright red bag that had remained on her lap since she'd arrived, her fingers tightening around the buckle that would allow her to open and close the bag. She'd forgotten what it was like to be inside a facility, after SHIELD fell she'd had a lot of spare time on her hands and dabbled in other jobs. Amelia was the only patient she'd had in years. Back when she did work for SHIELD she'd always felt like a pearl amongst coal inside the base, being one of the only psychiatrists inside the base, one of the only workers that had never dirtied their hands with fieldwork. Rebecca felt the exact same way inside the Avengers facility.

"If you're asking me to share what we've discussed in sessions, I'm afraid I simply can't do that. Doctor-Patient confidentiality," she eventually responded, able to guess why they'd invited her over from what they'd told her about Amelia.

"But you were never officially a doctor and a patient, papers were never signed. So, really, it was just a discussion between two friends." Tony had the argument prepared, already having done his research to figure out a way past that clause. Rebecca didn't look convinced though, she still seemed very wary and he could understand why, she was a professional and doing something like that could tarnish her career, but Tony had set his mind on getting the information so really Rebecca had never had a choice. Desperately, he looked towards the therapist, forcing her to get locked in a haze of twinkling brown as she stared into his eyes. "Look, my _sister_ is out there and a lot of bad things seem to be following her, all we want to do is help her. And I can't help her until I know what I'm dealing with here. Please, for Amelia's sake."

The doctor didn't respond at first. Her eyes fell down to her purse and they remained there for a minute before flashing over to Steve and Tony, analysing their despairing expressions and seeing the purity in their requests. Sighing, she opened her purse and pulled from it a thick black notebook that was full of torn pieces of paper and post-it notes, "I thought it was Amelia who called me over here because she'd need another session, which means I brought my notebook on her."

"You have an entire notebook for her?" Steve questioned, seeing how full the book looked, practically overflowing with information on his girl and making him question just how much he didn't actually know about her.

"She's a very unique patient Mr Rogers, I have three notebooks on her." Both Steve and Tony's eyes widened, being hit with how much Amelia had actually been withholding from them. Tony had known that she didn't share everything with him, they were only just jumping into their roles of brother and sister so he hadn't expected her to delve into every secret she had, but he'd never expected there to be three notebooks worth of things he didn't know.

"Anyway," Rebecca continued, trying not to dwell on their shocked expressions, "during our last session she admitted to me that she'd been having a reoccurring dream, only, she wasn't sure whether it was a dream or a vision of the future. The dream used to be all of the Avengers dead with her in Steve's arms, but then after whatever happened in Sokovia, the dream changed. It was all the Avengers dead, and her alive standing over them with black powers surrounding her."

"Black powers. We saw them after she found out you were kidnapped, I'm still trying to figure out why they changed colours." Tony noted, instantly trying to remember all he could on her black powers, thinking that there could be a possible correlation between them and the change in Amelia.

"When I saw her in 2012, she had both white and black energy surrounding her. Maybe it's like a ying-yang sort of thing?" Steve offered, lending the information to Tony, knowing that the billionaire had a better chance of figuring out some connection than he would.

"Maybe," Tony hummed, hand raising to rub through his facial hair as he thought, "or maybe it's different levels of power. The white energy seems to be like stars, whereas with the black energy you can see the stars within. Perhaps they're two different things."

"She told me once that it was her black powers that saved her life after a car crash, it healed up her body but she could barely control it when she woke up," Rebecca supplied.

"When was she in a car crash?" Tony asked the question to the doctor but it was the soldier who answered him.

"It was a couple of weeks after we met, she saved me, Nat and Sam but ended up getting in a car crash, after that she was taken by Hydra again. She never told me about her powers though." Steve's eyebrows scrunched together as he thought about how she'd acted after the car crash, the only difference was that she'd seemed to finally realise how bad Hydra was but she'd explained to him that moment came when she overheard Pierce use a word he'd use whenever abusing her, making her realise that he planned to put the entire human race through the same tortures she'd been put through.

Tony continued to stare at Steve with his mouth open a little, feeling as though the fact that his sister had gone through a car crash should have been something they told him. "Looks like she hasn't been telling us a lot of things," he cattishly derided, choosing to drop that subject for a later date. The billionaire turned back to Rebecca, hands dropping from his goatee and clasping together in his lap. "So, she had bad dreams, that wouldn't be enough to make her change her mind on what kind of life she wants to lead."

"You're right. But when mixed in with the doubts she'd already been having… I'm sorry to hear that she gave into them though." Sadness crossed the doctor's expression as she went through the notes in her book.

"If she had doubts she would have told me about them, we were a team," Steve tried to argue, hand clenching into a fist on top of the table.

Rebecca eyed his fist momentarily, "she was scared you'd judge her."

Bullshit. Steve wanted to scream in the doctors face that it was bullshit, because it _absolutely_ was bullshit. Both Amelia and Steve trusted each other with everything and he'd always been able to sense if she was keeping something from him. He would have been able to sense if she were having doubts, and if not that, then he would have at least been able to sense that she was keeping a secret from him. But he hadn't. The past month they'd been fine, their relationship blossoming into something beautiful and _strong_. "No, she knows I wouldn't," he denied her again, confident in what he said.

"I'm sorry, Mr Rogers, but I think she lied to you. A lot, apparently. Almost every session we had she'd mention her doubts, and how she craved killing. I have the notes here to prove it," to back up what she was saying, Rebecca dropped the notebook onto the table, allowing both Steve and Tony to lean closer to it and read through the contents of the page. Rebecca continued to speak, explaining the contents of the notebook to them so her notes were clearer, "during one of our sessions she said to me 'being around Steve, he makes you want to be a better person. He's got the kind of light that doesn't burn you, it brightens up the world around you instead. He makes me want to be a better person, and I just hope that will be enough.' For a while, both of us thought it would be but I guess it stopped being enough for whatever reason. You said that you were kidnapped? My prognosis is that after you got kidnapped it became too much for her, the worrying, and she finally gave in to an easier lifestyle. Easier for her, anyway."

Steve had fallen back into his seat, once again being affronted with solid evidence but his heart was refusing it. None of what Milo had said, or what Rebecca had said, or what that forsaken letter had said, fit in with his image of Freckles. Yes, she was a little broken and the edges of her would sometimes jut out like knives that he'd prick himself on every now and again, but she kissed every wound with the softness of a flower petal, pouring in all the warmth she was able to create to make sure he knew how much she loved him. He'd believed her. He still believed her.

"Can you leave the notebook for us to read through, it might help us track her down," Tony pulled the notebook closer to him, turning the pages without asking for Rebecca's permission first.

Thankfully, the doctor didn't admonish him, her attention was taken by the sullen soldier who'd fallen deeper into his seat. She sighed, showing that she wished she could have brought them better news. Turning back to Tony, she forced a smile, "of course, and if there's anything else I can do to help please ask." Rebecca closed up her bag and stood up from her seat, tugging on the brown suit she wore and getting out any wrinkles that had formed whilst sat down.

Tony stood up again, shaking her hand whilst the soldier remained surly in his seat. "You've been a lot of help already, thanks for coming down," he smiled gratefully towards her, baring his teeth in a grin despite the way his heart wrenched painfully at all the words he'd seen in the notebook. It was going to be a difficult read.

"I just hope you can find her and help her soon," she responded, releasing Tony's hand and beginning to walk away. She stopped beside the soldier for a moment, looking to him and deciding on whether or not to say something. It looked like she was going to continue walking but something held her back. Inhaling a breath she looked fully at Steve, sympathy etched into every corner of her face. "Captain, I think she really did love you."

He looked at her emptily, "yeah," That's what he needed to remember, that she loved him and he loved her and everything would be okay in the end because they had that connection. He had to remember that. He wouldn't be able to get through it without that thought repeating over his head. He dropped his sadness as easily as someone taking off a mask, standing up and shaking the doctor's hand respectfully, "thank you for coming here and helping us."

She gave him a tight-lipped smile, her disbelief of his facade very clear but Rebecca chose not to comment on it. She left the meeting room, leaving Steve and Tony alone, meeting Aaron outside of the door who led her back to her car. Both of the men watched her walking away, chatting with a smile on her face to Aaron. Once she was out of sight they both turned back to face each other, not really knowing what words to say to comfort one another. Tony's sister, Steve's girlfriend, was gone, and they still didn't know how to fix it.

Natasha came into the room shortly after, having been waiting down the hall to see when Rebecca left so she could ambush Steve and Tony to find out the news on her friend. Thor, Vision and Wanda followed behind her, having joined her side when they realised what she was waiting for. "So," Nat entered the room and plunked herself down in a seat, letting it be known to the two men that she wouldn't be leaving without answers, "what's the doctor's diagnosis?"

Steve wrapped his hands around the back of the chair he'd previously been sitting in, eyes immediately straying to the thick black book Rebecca had left after hearing Nat's question, "It's wrong."

From behind him Tony scoffed, throwing his arms up in the air begrudgingly. "You still don't believe that Amelia's changed sides? Really, Steve? We have an entire notebook full of proof now. What more do you need?"

Tony's words were the answer everyone had been waiting for. Amelia really had changed sides, though they knew they probably shouldn't have been, everyone in that room felt surprised. Surprised, and anguished.

"She's wrong, Tony. You're meant to be Amelia's brother, you're meant to trust her." The soldier's hands around the back of the chair tightened, his knuckles turning the same shade as the burn mark on his cheek.

The billionaire was knocked back by Steve's words slightly, his mouth fell open and his eyes widened because he simply couldn't believe the audacity Steve had to say something so cruel. He shook his head from side to side, making his disappointment towards Steve's behaviour clear, though the soldier faced it back with an uncaring demeanour.

"I did trust her," Tony defended himself, "but she lied to us and it's our fault for believing her, for not looking out for the signs. Now we fix it, by fixing her."

Steve eyes turned to slits at the wording Tony had used, "'fixing'? Really?"

From behind Steve, the god stepped forward. He didn't look any happier than anyone else in the room. "I'm with Stark on this, Steve," the god hated himself for having to say it but he needed Steve to know what side he was on. What side he _had_ to be on.

"Thor, I've already told you I don't want to hear it. I know what you said to Amelia about her powers. This whole thing is probably what you wanted really, isn't it?" The soldier released the chair, taking a step over to Thor. He shouldn't have been so easily taking his anger out on everyone, he should have been more in control, but that was what love did to people sometimes. Sometimes, it made them lose control of everything, their minds, their hearts, their lives. Steve never thought he'd be a victim of it though.

But then again, he'd never expected to be locked in such a ruby-shaded romance. When he was younger, before the war, he'd always hoped to find a love that came with a white picket fence and two children, the kind of love that shared quick pecks in the morning as they went off to face their days and returned in an embrace once that day was over. It was a quiet, sensible sort of love that had never really been right for Steve, but it was what he'd been taught to want from a young age.

In Amelia, he'd found something much more different. It was a love that devoured him entirely. It was burning edges and scars and stars. It was being in meetings and his mind always wandering off home to her. It was a museum of breathtaking art that he was blind to because _she_ was also standing in it. It was being blinded by the light of their love but enjoying the burn because without that light the world is just far too dark. Yes, their love made him vulnerable, but it also gave him strength. Sometimes, it was overwhelming. And sometimes, it was like laying in a cloud.

So, yes, Steve was going to defend that love for the rest of his life because without it there was no life in him.

Thor shook his head, pained to be fighting against his friend and the accusations coming his way, "I don't want it to come to that." What he said was honest, the strong emotion danced with his words but it never reached Steve's ears.

The soldier was furious and he didn't even know what at anymore. He was hurt. Amelia had left him and he didn't know why, or, he did know why but he refused to acknowledge that reason because to him it made no sense. She loved him. She loved him. She loved him. She wouldn't hurt him like that.

"Steve, calm down," Natasha got out of her seat, noticing the way Steve's chest seemed to heave with anger. She moved to stand in between the super soldier and the god, the redhead getting a wake-up call to just how short she was whilst standing in between the two giants. That's why she'd liked Bruce so much, he didn't tower over her unless he was in Hulk form. Moving her hands to press against their chests, she spoke with as calm a voice as she could muster, "please."

"Amelia's changed sides and she possesses dark powers, powers that could destroy the universe if she chose to do so. Which means we've got to capture her and subdue her as soon as possible," despite Natasha's attempt at diffusing the situation, Thor still urged on his point, wishing to get the super soldier on his side. He didn't want to fight with any of his friends, even Amelia. But the world was at stake, a world he and the rest of the Avengers were supposed to protect.

"Thor, stop," Natasha tried to hush the god but Steve was already beginning to step closer.

Red had coloured his vision, his ears taking Thor's attempt at explaining his point of view as a threat to Amelia. "Hey Tony," he called, voice dangerously low, "you remember when I said you haven't seen my dark side yet? I'm about to show it if Thor doesn't stop talking about my girlfriend like she's a killer."

Tony could barely take it anymore. Steve was making him feel guilty when Tony knew he shouldn't, Amelia was the one who betrayed them, not the other way around and he was getting sick and tired of the culpability which festered inside his stomach. "But she is Steve, we walked into a graveyard of her victims two hours ago!" He didn't care about Nat's attempts, Tony was done being made to feel horrible when all he was doing was trying to help Amelia.

Steve shook his head, turning his body away from Thor and moving towards Tony though Natasha moved to stand in the way. "We don't know the full picture yet!" He yelled back, matching Tony's pitch and slamming his fist down on the table.

The billionaire pointed an accusatory finger towards him, "no, Steve, you're ignoring the full picture!"

"Stop fighting!" Wanda screamed, getting in the way of their feud by pulling the two apart with her powers. "Amelia's in trouble, and all you're doing is screaming at each other, is this what the Avengers are?" The girl felt alone. Her one close friend had left her and though she had Vision, she wanted Amelia back. The fellow psychic had somehow become an older sister for the young Maximoff, and Wanda missed her sister dearly. She was scared for her.

Using Wanda's distraction to her advantage, Natasha once again stepped in the way, feeling like the only adult in a room full of children. "Tony, Thor, leave this room right now." She gave the orders and pointed towards the door so they understood her demand clearly. "Wanda's right, you guys want to save Amelia? Fighting isn't going to do that."

Tony was the first to respond to Natasha, stepping around from the chair that had been his only shield against Steve. "He's the one-"

"Tony stop being a child for one second of your life, be the bigger person and leave the room." Natasha had been rude but it was the only way to get to Tony. He looked at her challenging face and finally backed down, finally hearing her words. Reluctantly, and wearing a very bitter expression, he left the room. Leaving Thor and Steve to glare at each other. Nat came to stand beside the pair, touching both of their arms to try and gain their attention. "I'm small, guys, I really don't fancy trying to stand between a super soldier and a god today."

"Fine." Thor relinquished, stepping down and away from the aggressive soldier, moving closer to the door. He didn't leave entirely though as he had some words left to say to the soldier, "I really don't want to hurt Amelia, she's my friend too."

The soldier shook his head, "none of you are acting like she's your friend."

* * *

 **A/N: WHELP! Bit of an explosive end to the chapter. What are you guys thinking then, has she changed sides? That's what the evidence is telling y'all.**

 **I suppose a better question is: Team Cap or Team Iron Man?**

 **Thinking about renaming this fanfic 'The Chaos In Stars' but idk...**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, thank you! It's crazy to think I've written over fifty chapters for this, especially because with most stories I struggle getting past ten chapters. And again thank you for saying I nailed Tony's personality! Hope you enjoyed this chapter!**

 **To .2018, I hope this chapter makes you :) still**

 **To The Observer 2.O, I'm not gonna comment on my sweet angel Aaron, I'll let you decide whether I'm being sarcastic or not. As for that Zemo theory, yes and no. Thank you for the review/musings, they're still fun to hear no matter what we call them lol**

 **To Sam0728, here's a summary of what's happening for you: Shit. Lots and lots of shit.**

 **And a big thanks to everyone that read the chapter!**


	55. Chapter Fifty-Two

**CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO**

* * *

" _Love is a magnificent catastrophe consisting of the knowledge that you're about to crash into a wall at full speed, and accelerating anyway."_

― _**Frédéric Beigbeder**_

* * *

Night had come again, and Steve Rogers found himself dwelling in the darkness, allowing it to envelop him like a warm blanket because after years of staring into Amelia's eyes he found comfort in black.

It was the silence that haunted him most, normally any moment he had with Amelia wasn't quiet unless she was asleep. The absence of his Freckles became even more potent the longer he festered within the meeting room, staring at numerous pieces of paper before him which contained all the proof that Amelia had switched sides. Tony had been the one to create it, and Steve had requested it from Aaron (who practically ran from him) so that he could look for it, hoping to find any and all signs that it was a lie.

Midnight came swiftly, the time that passed meaningless to Steve because all that mattered was bringing Amelia home.

At quarter-past-twelve, his silence was intruded by the ringing of his phone. He didn't move at first, eyes still on the letter and all of Kaplan's notes, but it persisted, breaking his train of thought. Disgruntled, he reached into the pocket of his pants and pulled out the flip phone he had. He rarely ever used his phone and though Tony had given him a more up-to-date smartphone, he'd kept his flip phone because that was the one phone he had Amelia on and the one phone that Amelia knew the number of. He'd had to teach it to her on their year together searching for Bucky in case they ever got seperated and she needed to get into contact with him.

He looked at the number on the screen, it was unknown. That made him curious, and, despite the hopelessnes that had settled like the darkness of night around him, he thought it could be Amelia. Once that thought was in his mind, he couldn't get it to leave and he swiftly opened up his phone, answering the call and bringing the phone to his ear. "Amelia?"

Silence. There was no sound coming from the phone. That's when Steve became _sure_ that it was his girl.

"Amelia, please say something," he urged, still wanting confirmation. A part of him desiring to hear her voice again, the same way a junkie desired their next hit. "Please," his voice cracked as he begged again, tears reaching his eyes and heart aching. If it was Amelia, then that phone call meant so much. It was more than just a phone call, it was a hand reaching out to Steve, beckoning him, asking him to save her. And it was his only chance to reach out his own hand and try to convince her to come home, to quit whatever charade was happening and _come back to him_.

"If this is you, Freckles, just give me a sign or something. Make a sound, please. Just- Just speak to me, please." Steve felt broken, a ghost of his former self, the same man he'd become when he'd thought that Amelia had died in the car crash over a year ago. He looked up to the roof, trying to blink away his persistent teardrops. When she didn't respond, he sighed, shoulders falling and he raised his arm up to wipe away the tears that frustrated him.

The silence continued, becoming his worst enemy at that moment. "I love you," he whimpered, throwing caution to the wind because though it might not have been Amelia, it could have been and he needed her to hear his words. "Whatever's happened, even if you did kill all of those people, I still love you. And I can forgive you. If you come back home, we can work on fixing this again just like we did last time because we're a team. I don't care what the letter said or what your therapist's notes say, I know you, the real you. You wouldn't do this to me. So whatever is happening, we'll fix this." His tears fell without a care, his tone wavering as he poured his love into each word, trying his hardest to make sure that Amelia _heard_ him. "I'll fix this."

From the otherside he heard nothing still, but the person hadn't hung up yet and that gave Steve more courage. "But you have to come home, Freckles. Because I can't do this without you. I- I need you, here, with me. Please."

A single sound could be heard from the other side, not a word, but a single sob that broke through the dreaded silence like a lighthouse shone through a fog, guiding sailors home, guiding Steve home. He sat up straighter. Amelia had heard him, she was there. _She was there._

"Amelia-" And then the phone hung up, seconds after the sound was made. He heard the ringing sound which signalled that the call had ended, and it felt like the world had dropped on top of him, crushing him completely. "Amelia…" He repeated her name, foolishly hopeful.

And then the rage came. A kind of anger Steve Rogers still wasn't used to feeling. Normally, when Steve got angry, he'd use it to make him hopeful or determined. But with this anger, he was just left despaired, downhearted, and disconsolate.

He threw the phone aggressively at the wall across from him, hard enough to break it and then he realised that he'd just broken the last connection he had with Amelia and it made the torrent of negative emotions swirling and gurgling inside of him even stronger, harshly pushing against his rib cage, making him feel like a nuclear bomb was going off inside of him. The soldier threw his fist down on the table, a sob wrenching it's way from his chapped and split lips, back shakings as he bent over the table and put his head in his hands.

Some super-soldier, he berated himself as his weakness was thrown onto a full display. The superhero that was meant to save people, becoming a broken, defeated, man crying over a table. He continued to cry over ten minutes, and afterwards, he just felt numb. He couldn't even remember what feeling happy was like, he just knew that he felt it when he was with Amelia.

It was strange to think that even though he'd lived a full life, Steve Rogers hadn't fully started living until after he met Amelia. He found that rather funny, because it was always Amelia who'd said her life hadn't truly begun until she met Steve. He'd didn't realise it until that moment, but it was the exact same way for him.

Once he'd calmed down enough to be able to see and breathe again, the soldier returned to reading through the papers. It was all he could think to do, there was nothing else for him now, his entire life's purpose was to save Amelia. And though he hated the chiming thoughts, he was starting to believe that she really had gone rogue.

The letter she'd written matched her usual handwriting, and there were mutual meetings Amelia had with Rebecca that matched the dates both Steve and Tony could remember Amelia being vacant on, though there were extra dates when Amelia had visited Rebecca which neither of them had been aware of. All their meetings included some kind of conversation about Amelia missing killing or being worried about killing or they'd just talk about killing. It was weird because for some meetings it was all she seemed to talk about, which is the complete opposite of what she'd told Steve.

He'd always thought they were making progress on all the habits she had that she hated. There were many things left over from her time being controlled by Hydra that she wanted to rid herself of, memories as well as personality traits, and there were plenty of occasions when Amelia would run up to Steve boasting about some great progress she'd made in a session. If she was able to put that progress into a drawing he had no doubt she would have demanded he put it on the fridge for everyone to see. Which was why it was hard for Steve to match that girl with the person Rebecca had written about in the notebook.

Half way through his research Steve was bent over the table with his head in his hands, his chest feeling empty. As he read through all the incriminating evidence, his mind replaced each bit of information with a memory that reminded the soldier of the Amelia Stark he'd gotten to know.

He dropped one hand, stroking his fingers across the letter and trying to connect it to Amelia. That's all he'd been doing.

' _It felt like I was drowning myself underneath some strangers skin_ ', Steve should have realised if she really did feel that way. Maybe if he'd been there for her more, if he'd kept his promise to take care of her, then they wouldn't be in the situation they were in.

 **ONE YEAR EARLIER**

 _Sam sat at the breakfast bar within Amelia and Steve's hotel room going through the file they had on Bucky, munching on the last few fries on his plate as the soldier and the brunette busied themselves cleaning up dishes._

 _Freckles had attempted to make them a desert seen as Steve had cooked their tea but she'd once again chosen to ignore the instructions for the cake recipe and had literally thrown an entire bag of flour into the bowl, causing most of the flour to fly out of the bowl and streak across the small hotel kitchen. Sam and Steve had been in the living room around the corner of the kitchen when they heard her scream and, thinking the worst, they'd run around the corner with guns raised in preparation of some sort of enemy attack but all they'd found was a kitchen and an Amelia covered in complete white, a rare sight._

 _Sam had broken their shock at the scene by making a joke about her being a ghost to which they all fell into boasts of laughter at. Steve had reluctantly joined her in the efforts of cleaning up, still laughing every few seconds as his amusement didn't seem to ever completely fade. Amelia was much more bitter, glaring at both men whenever they laughed at her mistake even though giggles repeatedly broke through her facade. It was her first time using flour after all, how was she supposed to know flour in a bag was basically an undeadly bomb?_

" _We could always go back to Romania," Sam suggested as he finished chewing on the last fry on the plate, "I know the trail went cold there but doing another check couldn't hurt, maybe we missed something."_

" _I doubt it," Amelia responded as she rubbed a wet cloth against the counter, revealing a brown countertop beneath the layer of flour she'd coated it with. "I think we should go to germany, that's where Hydra started so I've no doubt they've got plenty of bases there, maybe if we find the bases we can find some information on Bucky."_

" _Yeah, but we don't even know where to begin looking in Germany, there have been no leads pointing in that direction," Sam argued, standing up and taking his plate to the sink that Steve had been cleaning, earning a look when the pilot added his dirty dish to the pile._

 _Amelia threw down her towel, turning to face both the soldiers. "Not yet, but we've got all those files in the warehouse on Hydra and I'm sure there will be something in there. I say tomorrow we go back to America, get the files, and then go to Germany."_

" _Well I was hoping we could do something else tomorrow," Steve piped up as he started to clean the dish Sam had added to his pile, ignoring the looks both of his comrades sent him full of confusion and curiosity._

 _He'd been doing his best to avoid the warehouse full of Hydra files, knowing full well that there would be a box or two on the Winter Soldier's missions, including his mission to kill Amelia's parents and kidnap the young Stark. He'd been meaning to tell her about it, Steve knew that it had to be him to tell her so that he could then explain it to her in a way that would squash any vengeful thoughts she had towards Bucky but the right time never came. That wasn't the only reason he wanted to avoid it though, as a certain event was coming up which just so happened to also provide him with the opportunity to skip going to the warehouse once more._

 _Sam had raised up his eyebrows, jokingly acting shocked as he stated: "you want us to take a day off or something?"_

" _Why tomorrow?" Amelia added to Sam's interrogation, equally as confused._

 _The soldier rolled his eyes at their behaviour, hating how they were acting like he never gave them a day off from hunting down Bucky, he wasn't_ _ **that much**_ _of a tyrannical leader. Turning around to face them, he momentarily dropped his sponge and plate back into the sink, leaning his body casually against the counter. Though he didn't realise it, he'd made his shirt go even tighter against his chest, revealing the chiselled muscles that hid beneath the grey fabric to Amelia who licked her lips at their appearance._

 _That was something that had been happening a lot, way too many times for her liking. She'd be doing one thing and the next moment Amelia would find her black orbs fixating on a body part of Steve's, admiring it, and wishing that she could feel it beneath her fingertips but he'd made it clear that she couldn't just touch him whenever she wanted. Apparently, she needed to wait until they were in a relationship to do that, so that's what Amelia was doing, she was waiting for them to get in a relationship. She didn't really know how they'd start one though, she hoped it would just become an instant thing, like when she cooked food in a microwave. All she'd have to do is wait a couple of minutes and then with a melodical ring, bam, their relationship would be ready._

" _Well, tomorrow's a special day," he chimed, breaking through Amelia's hypnotic state, blue eyes catching black staring at him intensely but he ignored it as he did everytime he caught her staring at him with an emotion far too close to love for his comfort. "It's your birthday," he gestured towards Amelia with his hand, bringing forth another shocked expression from Sam who'd had no idea._

 _Both of them looked at her expectantly. "What's a birthday?" Her hands automatically crossed over her chest as she became uncomfortable beneath their stares. It felt like_ _ **another**_ _thing that Amelia didn't know that was supposed to be a really obvious thing, she hated it when moments like that occured._

" _It's the anniversary of the day you were born," Steve explained helpfully._

" _Normally people celebrate it," Sam added, then turning to their leader, "are we going to celebrate?"_

" _I was thinking we should," Steve nodded, both of them turning back to Amelia who wasn't reacting the way he thought she would be at the news. A frown was bending her lips downward and they could see the cogs turning in her brain as she took in what they said, and when her expression didn't change, Steve began to worry. "What's wrong?"_

 _She looked back up at him, eyebrows scrunched together and dark eyes dull. "What would we celebrate though?" Freckles asked the question glumly, which Steve found strange because he'd genuinely thought that she'd be happy to have a birthday party. It was one of the things she'd never been able to have thanks to Hydra but, besides that, it was her birthday and he'd grown up believing they were something to be celebrated just like Sam had, he'd never really questioned it before like Amelia was doing._

" _Your life," Sam responded, the words coming out joyously, "you've lived through another year of bullshit, I reckon that's a pretty big deal and something that should be celebrated."_

" _My life?" The words came out sadly and her black orbs fell to the flour covered floor, the girl in front of him a completely different one to the person he'd seen moments earlier when she'd had the flour accident. That girl had been silly, but laughed as musically as a bird sang and she glowed with warmth. The girl in front of him then was sad, and broken, and it made his own heart hurt because he knew if he tried to help, if he asked her about her past, she'd just avoid it. Eventually, Amelia shook her head, "I don't think my life's anything to celebrate guys, not after everything I've done."_

 _She looked back up at them, affronted by the sympathy and care both of her friends displayed and it was practically choking her. Because even though she could look into their eyes and see love, surrounding her were a thousand other eyes all filled with hatred and contempt. The eyes of all the people she'd killed, all the lives she'd ended._

 _Hating the guilt and depression that stirred and boiled inside of her belly, she released a small sniffle as she grabbed a hold of the tea towel she'd been using to clean the side. "We're going to need more of these to clean up the mess, I'll go ask for some," she excused._

 _As she passed Steve he reached out with his hand and grabbed her wrist. "Freckles…" He'd stopped her from leaving and her full attention was on him, but, he had no idea what to say to comfort her. She'd kept so much hidden from him, he had no idea what words he could use to help her. Sighing, he released her hand and allowed her to leave the hotel room. Once she was gone he looked over at Sam, hoping his friend would maybe hold some wisdom on what they could do to cheer up Amelia._

The memory burned behind his eyes, making his heart swell. Had that been a sign he'd just ignored? Steve had thought the reason she'd gotten so sad that day was that she felt unworthy of a birthday celebration, like her life meant nothing because, for the first half of it, she'd spent it destroying other lives. But perhaps that had never been the issue after all. Perhaps the main issue was that she wasn't ready to celebrate the life of Amelia Stark because she wasn't comfortable stepping into her role yet.

It was a dark spiral of thoughts from there, all Steve could think about was the lies she must have told him if she really was only pretending to be Amelia.

He supposed that the signs had always been there, he'd just chosen to read them as different signs. When she asked him to call her Freckles instead of Amelia, he thought she was simply scared of becoming Amelia because she didn't feel worthy. Really, the truth was that she simply didn't want to be Amelia. That made sense. That made all the letters and notes and Milo's last words make sense.

Freckles had just been playing him. She was a liar. He believed her and that made him a fool.

Amelia really had gone rogue.

"Steve, you're still here?" Natasha noted as she slinked into the dark room, the orange light from the hallway filtering in and revealing a part of Steve's expression, showing the deep set frown he had which the soldier quickly wiped off his face the moment he realised he had company

"Yeah." He replied, trying to create an air of casual around him which was very hard to do when he was sat in the dark, bruised and unshaven. "I was just reading through the evidence we've got."

Steve wanted to tell his friend about the phone call he'd just had, but after crying for so long it felt like the conversation hadn't even happened, the only evidence being the phone that laid in pieces scattered across the floor. Plus, because Amelia hadn't said anything, he knew how easily everyone could warp what the phone call was meant to be. He needed to figure out what Amelia's intents with it were before he shared it with everyone else.

Natasha nodded her head slowly, eyes fixing on the piles of paper he'd spread out across the table. She walked around him, moving to the opposite side of the table and sitting herself down in front of him, "and?"

"And?" He responded, throwing his hands down on the table lazily, all of his energy consumed by the phone call and his bout of sobbing. There wasn't much for him to say on the evidence anyway, it was just that, evidence. Proof that Amelia had left him, gone rogue. Proof he was no longer denying.

"And what do you think? Are you convinced yet, like the rest of us?" She leaned forward in her seat, eyeing Steve with an inquisitive gaze. There was no sadness in her voice, in fact, the woman was portraying a coldness he'd not expected to see from her, especially seen as Nat had been one of Amelia's first friends. He'd thought that their friendship would be meaningful, but apparently that was another thing to add to his long list of things he was wrong about. Natasha continued, voice trembling with contempt towards Amelia, "I know it's a hard truth but I guess we were all fooled by her broken puppy routine so there's no reason for you to be ashamed. We'll just get revenge when we see her again."

His eyebrows involuntarily raised, far too surprised by the hatred in her voice which was being aimed towards Amelia. All doubts in his mind vanished as he was faced by the redhead's audacity, his loyalty towards his girl standing tall once again, reminding him that: _No_ , Amelia did not leave him, she would never leave him.

"Don't you start too Romanoff," he warned, eyebrows relaxing as he emptied his face of all emotion. He didn't want to fight with Nat, she was one of his closest friends. He didn't want to, but just like with Tony and Thor, he would. He would always fight for Amelia, because they loved each other, and she'd always fight for him. In that moment he decided that's what the phone call was, it was Amelia showing that she couldn't quit him, it was Amelia showing that despite everything that had happened, she still wanted Steve in her life, wanted to be with him. That phone call was his sign from her that she was still her.

Nat rolled her eyes at his warning, as though she found his denial annoying by that point. "Oh, really Steve? I've looked through the evidence too, and I've got to say, it makes a lot of sense. There's just no denying it anymore. She's evil, pure evil. Look at all the killing she's done. I mean, she did tell us when we first met her, what was it she said 'I'm nothing but a weapon'. Yeah. Amelia really is nothing but a weapon, a mon-"

"Don't you dare. Don't you _dare_ call her a monster when you know full well that the real monsters are the people that convinced her she wasn't a human being but a machine. She needs help Nat, not her friends turning on her. I'm going to be nice to you right now because you've been a good friend to both me and Amelia, but if you're not here to help her then I suggest you leave because that's what we're doing. Not getting revenge. Not painting her as a villain. Helping her. Got it, Romanoff?" By the end of his speech he was breathing heavily, hands gripping the edges of the table, a completely different man to the one he was minutes ago. A minute ago, he was starting to doubt Amelia. But not anymore, by yelling at Nat, he'd managed to convince himself further that the evidence before him was meaningless compared to the year long relationship he'd had with the girl in question. Across from him, Nat's irritated and confrontational nature had calmed, melting into a small, smug, smile on her lips which had Steve once again confused. "What?"

"I just had to make sure you hadn't changed your mind too," Nat revealed, a smug smile blossoming into a face splitting one as she saw realisation dawn on Steve's face. He took it well, even laughing a little himself though it was an awkward chuckle. "You know, it almost makes me sick how loyal you two are to each other."

"So, you don't think she's switched sides?" He checked, just to make sure.

The redhead shook her head, "of course not. It doesn't really make sense, I mean she spent a year with us, bonding with all of us and we bonded with her. This switch was completely out of nowhere."

"I agree," Steve said, so much more relieved to find out he at least had one person on Amelia's side, "so, what now, did you just come in here to test me?"

"Nope. I've been on a very interesting job for the past two days," Nat reached inside the grey hoodie that she was wearing, pulling from her side a folder that she'd kept hidden from Steve whilst she was interrogating him. The redhead threw it over to him, the file landing on top of all the evidence he'd spent the past few hours staring at, the cream a welcome change to the cold black and white. He opened up the file, revealing first a stack of images that showed five different men, all dead. "Five people, all ex-hydra agents and they were pretty high up, all of them got killed in the same way," Natasha explained as he analysed each photo of the crime scene. The bodies were all placed on the floor with their legs and hands bound together. It was hard to even call what was left 'bodies' as they'd been cut up so many times all that was left seemed to be a very abstract sculpture made from human body parts.

"An assassin?" Steve moved on from the images onto the profiles of each individual that was killed, each person having two records, one for Hydra and the other one being their fake identities they'd used to hide amongst American citizens.

"An assassin with a thing for knives," Natasha noted.

Steve frowned and Natasha mirrored it. Both of them knew someone that fit that description perfectly, or, a person who _used_ to fit that description perfectly. "Amelia."

"Exactly," Nat hadn't been happy when she saw the photos of the killings as she was able to easily recognise her friends work. "No one else knows, not yet. I figured if it really is Amelia then it should be us that gets to her first."

Steve nodded, grateful to the redhead for making that decision. He continued to look through all the agents Hydra profiles, recognising one similarity between the five of them. The soldier pointed at it with his finger and then pushed the folder back to Nat so she could know what he was referring to."What's the project they all worked on together, 'Pandora's Box'?"

The redhead shrugged her shoulders, "your guess is as good as mine, but it's the only thing that connects them all other than them being Hydra agents. It's clear they were all tortured and I think that that's what got tortured out of them." Steve pulled the folder back towards him, reading through the rest of its contents and hoping to find any more possible clues, latching onto the Pandora's Box as though it was his lifeline, his only link to Amelia.

"I did my own research on it," Nat continued whilst he read, "and it turns out we have it, after SHIELD fell and Hydra were revealed, we took their Pandora's Box and put it in one of our most secure warehouses. So, whatever it is, it's bad."

"A weapon?" Steve questioned but once again Natasha had no answers. She'd shared all she was able to find on Pandora's Box, which even by her standards was barely anything. It was shrouded in mystery and hidden away in the one place she was sure even Fury didn't know much about.

"There's something else," she said, tone turning grave.

Steve looked at her and raised an inquiring eyebrow, expecting her to continue whilst he finished reading through the file. But he found out what it was as he got to the last page in the file. There was someone else who'd worked on Pandora's Box. "Alexander Pierce?"

That made things a lot more serious and coloured in some of the missing clues, but Steve tried to keep in mind that it could just be a coincidence. A very big, elephant-sized, coincidence. Alexander Pierce had worked on the project which meant Amelia could have had something to do with it as well, maybe not worked on it but she could possess some intel on what it was and that was why she was going after it.

The soldier eventually stood up, putting everything back in the folder and closing it, choosing not to comment on the link because he believed everything would be cleared up when he got to see her again. "This must be where she's going next then, so we've got to get there first," he decided, feeling hope like a warm ray of sunlight melting the cold that had formed in his heart.

Natasha nodded, already expecting him to make such a decision, "you suit up, I'll go get us a quinjet."

"Sam should come as well, the more friendly faces she sees the better. If she has killed then…"

Nat turned to face Steve before she left the room, hearing the sadness appear in his voice again and wishing that she could swat it away like a fly. Sadly, sadness was a much peskier enemy than a fly. Instead, she placed her hand on Steve's arm and sent him a supportive smile as she began to speak, tone resolute, "then she'll be lost, but not gone. Okay, Steve? We can do this. We can get her back."

He swallowed down his fear, giving Natasha a determined look in return and together they both left the meeting room, ready to set off and go save his girl.

What they hadn't been ready for, was the younger brunette hidden in the hallway, crouched beside the door. "Wanda?" Natasha was the first one to notice her and the Maximoff rose up to her feet, wide eyed after being caught.

She opened and closed her mouth multiple times, willing a good excuse for her eavesdropping to come to mind but nothing came. So instead, she gave in and just told them the truth. "I- I, I'm sorry, Cap. Vision, he said you were talking about Amelia and I'm just so worried." She pointed down the hallway, making the two realise that it wasn't just the three of them in the hallway as Vision stood a few centimetres away, floating in the air ominously. Looking back to Wanda, she sent both of them a look that made her desperation and concern clear, "no one will tell me anything. But you know where she is, right? Let me come with you guys. I want to help."

"No, I don't think it'll be safe for you Wanda," Steve was quick to reply, having expected her to want to jump in to save Amelia the moment he found her in the hallway. He'd seen how close they'd gotten and before everything that had happened, he'd found their relationship adorable, now it was just another reason he felt so miserable. Steve just hoped that when everything was over, when they had Amelia back, that Wanda wouldn't be mad at the world like she had been when Pietro had died. At least it seemed as though Wanda was on their side, choosing to look for the whole picture rather than the small part that was being shown to them.

Wanda stepped towards Steve, her hands turning into fists beside her side. She looked at him with something akin to rage in her eyes, an unstoppable passion. He didn't know whether it was a good thing or not that, in that moment, Wanda looked exactly like Amelia.

"But she's like my sister, I can't just sit here," the witch tried to fight, her plea continuing to fall on deaf ears.

The soldier shook his head from side to side, "I know, but you're not ready for the field yet. We'll bring her back, don't worry." He clapped his hand on Wanda's soldier as he passed her, stopping on his journey through the hallway to talk to Vision.

Wanda reminded him of early-days-Amelia, which for Steve, meant that Wanda needed someone to help hold the weight of her nightmares. Though it had been Amelia to first point it out to him, it was starting to look like Vision was the one to do that. 'Vision is Wanda's Steve Rogers' was the words Freckles had used to describe their relationship, so Steve had no problem asking Vision to help the crestfallen witch. "Stay with her," he said to Vision, nodding his head towards Wanda, "she'll need a friend right now."

Vision looked over to Wanda, feeling a tug on his heart that he couldn't find a proper name for just yet. "Yes, sir."

* * *

 **A/N: Didn't think I'd post today because I feel mentally buggered but I managed to get a chapter written, my own mental darkness fuelling my writing's darkness so yay for that I guess.**

 **Part three's been upped to 22 chapters btw! Chapter 55 ended up being WAY longer than I thought it would (5,311 words, 9 pages).**

 **I probably need to explain the timeline for this now. So, after this moment they go to the warehouse and meet Amelia as you saw in chapter 43 but we aren't immediately going there. The next chapters start of Amelia's POV again which will show all the events from when she got the letter about Steve and eventually we'll get to that warehouse scene from the beginning only it will be in Amelia's POV. Hope that makes sense!**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, hmmm, interesting theory! Happy to know you like Steve's POV, sadly this is the last chapter of it though of course we'll still get snippets here and there ^^**

 **To .2018, yeah, things ain't gonna look up until like chapter fifty-nine (maybe) so I'm sorry about that but I hope the stories still somewhat enjoyable!**

 **To BrittStar1199, I agree with you! After going through all of that, this was something expected to happen. Or maybe that's what certain people want you to think. Maybe, Amelia really had been making good progress with Steve and was working towards a future she could be proud of. Or maybe Amelia was lying to herself by thinking that. Or maybe Amelia's a purple giraffe. There's really no way of knowing the true answer except for reading the chapters :)**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, but we've known the therapist for so long! She was a member of SHIELD originally and she agreed to help Amelia even though she broke into her apartment. And what harm can she really do, dude? She's a mother of three and a loving wife as well as a modern-day working woman! What's there not to trust? She's just like Aaron. And thank you! I'm happy to have you along the ride, you've been with me for so long and I'm always beaming when I see your comments. Sorry that I've given you trust issues though!**

 **To Sam0728, omg!**

 **To Hellawoez, a lot of people are team iron man with this, which yeah, I probably would be too but I'm also hella biased. I'm just on team Amelia.**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, thank you! I thought people would be on Tony's side because with all the evidence it is the most logical, and it's not as biased as Steve. It's so interesting seeing everyone's response really. Thanks for the review!**

 **And a big thanks to everyone that read the chapter!**


	56. Chapter Fifty-Three

**CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE**

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" _The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth."_

― _**African proverb**_

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Amelia Stark stepped out of her car, saying no words to the driver that instantly left her the second she'd closed the door. In her hands she held the white envelope Aaron had given her two hours earlier, it's contents burning her palm.

Looking around, she was at the entrance of a harbour, though it didn't look like it was being used. Many people were bustling about it, but none of them were working. All of them seemed to be celebrating something, yelling boisterously and waving their hands around erratically like they were doing some sort of dance. Most of the people were dressed similarly to Amelia, their clothing all different shades of black and quite a few of them dawned leather jackets. Hers was better, she snickered.

They were so caught up in their jovial behaviours that none of them noticed the dark brunette's arrival that came with a glare so fierce it could burn through them entirely.

Before she continued her journey deeper into the docks, Amelia looked at the envelope one last time. Her hands shook slightly as she opened it up and pulled out the letter once again, eyes immediately straying over to the picture that showed her soldier beaten and bloodied on the ground. Her heart ached above a fire that raged at the image. The letter attached wasn't very long, but it held very clear instructions.

 _We have your soldier, but we'll set him free if you come to take his place. You must come alone and no one can know where you're going. Make sure you're not followed. If we detect any foul play we will kill the hostage immediately. You have until noon to comply or the hostage will be killed._

It was a situation Amelia had never been in before so at first she'd had no idea how to proceed. It was a first she'd never wanted to experience. Aaron had picked up the letter after she'd dropped it on the floor but she'd snatched it out of his head, making the decision to simply follow the orders of the letter and involve no one else. She was going to save her soldier.

In order to reach the warehouse unnoticed she'd had to abandon all her trackers which meant leaving her bracelets and anything else she thought Tony could have possibly put a tracker in, including a key ring he'd given her. It felt silly but she had to be extra careful for Steve's sake. After that, she'd ordered five plate-less cars that all looked exactly the same to come pick her up. She got inside one of them and the cars all set off, eventually parting into different directions. She met up with one of the cars that had left though and got into that one-half way through her journey, so there was absolutely no way for Friday to find which car Amelia was in.

The journey in the car had been awful. Every second that passed was another second where Steve was in danger, and it was driving her absolutely crazy. The brunette had been incapable of sitting still, constantly fidgeting in her seat and getting numerous glances from her driver which she chose to ignore.

After arriving she hid her anxiety beneath a cold and callous mask, being sure to meet her soldier's captors with a fearless gaze. She gave nothing away, they knew that she was there to save Steve and that's all she would allow them to know.

It was time to put into practice once again all the things she had learnt when she was AS09.

All it took was a step forward and she was beginning to make her way into the warehouse that was written on the address attached to the letter. Amelia charged forward with her head held high, sashaying forwards and ignoring all of the yells she received from the inebriated punks that she passed. Some called her sexy, some requested her services, either way, their words weren't worth her time.

Amelia did stop once. She averted her path to reach a barrel that had a fire burning within, the people surrounding it stopped their card game to look at the stranger questionably as she threw the white envelope - including the letter and the photograph - into the fire. All the people became entranced for a moment as they stared into her eyes that were watching the letter burn intensely, the flames being mirrored inside the depths of her black orbs. And then she set off on her journey back to the warehouse.

Some of the more excited punks followed her into the warehouse, all of them getting riled up as they knew it was the girl they'd heard so much about to save her man. They all wanted to see her face when she saw what they did to Captain America. Years of crime had taught them that the greatest kind of high they can get is the pleasure that ripples through their body when they see the dismay in a victim's eyes. But they had no idea.

They had no idea that Amelia knew too well that high, more than any of them.

The people inside the warehouse heard the ruckus loud and clear, they all stopped their own drinking and joking to turn their heads to the main entrance as one single, small, girl marched into the warehouse, surrounded by an army of criminals willing to kill her. It was quite a sight. The girl wasn't even flinching at their calls and theatrical hand waving, completely unperturbed from her mission.

Milo Hudson felt one of his friends shove against his shoulder, interrupting the swig he was taking from his bottle of Jack Daniels whiskey. The bleached haired man turned around, ready to yell at his friend for making him spill some of his drink, but his mate pointed over to the entrance. Milo only afforded it a glance at first, not expecting there to be anything of interest to look at, assuming it was probably another drunken fool falling over - something that happened far too often considering they were one of New York's fiercest gang. Instead of some amusing showcase though, it was the girl he'd been waiting for.

She wasn't all that tall, but she dressed like she belonged in their gang. Her body was covered head to toe in black, a leather jacket covering her upper half. She had curves, that's one of the first things he noticed. Then, as she got closer, it was her freckles that took his attentiom. The tiny dots filled up most of the expanse of her face, brown dots against olive, a thousand constellations that gave her haughty face a youthful glow though her eyes told a different story.

He jumped off of the empty barrel he'd been resting on, having been sat there for a few hours so he could keep a watchful gaze on their prisoner, and he proceeded to walk over to her. Meeting Amelia halfway, with his own swarm of criminals following him and as they stood, the swarm came together and circled around the two, creating an inescapable barrier.

It was then he got to look into her eyes. Really look into them. From far away, they had just been black. And from up close, he found that they were still just empty wells of shadow. There was no light within, just darkness. He wondered how much of that darkness was linked to her soul. They weren't young eyes. The gaze she had was like Milo's grandfathers. Stiff, all emotions locked away in a cage because all that was left after whatever horrors they'd experienced were emotions that caused too much pain. His grandfather had been a soldier in World War II and when he'd returned, he returned stripped of his humanity. Even as a child, Milo could always remember looking into his grandfather's eyes and recognising that the man had already lived far too many years even though he was only half way through his lifetime. Amelia also had that look in her eyes. She had a soul older than the age of her body.

Milo smiled at Amelia, a smile she couldn't understand really because even though he was a stranger to her, his smile had an essence of familiarity, like he recognised something in her that he himself possessed. She didn't bother questioning it. The brunette didn't want to know what it could possibly be, she wanted no similarities to exist between her and the lowlife opposite.

"I've come for Captain America." She explained sharply, for the first time in her life aware of the black energy that sparked between her fingers and not at all afraid of it. In that moment, she wasn't the one who had to fear it.

Milo cocked his head to the side, baring his teeth in a smile, "you're Amelia? Huh. I didn't expect someone like you."

"Sorry I've disappointed you," she rebutted, stretching her fingers out by her side.

"Oh, you haven't disappointed, you've impressed me," he waved his hand towards her, disregarding her words, "I expected you to be some blonde goody-two shoes like sleeping beauty, but you're… more."

Amelia's eyes fell into slits as her hands turned to fists, even when the punk said something she knew should be a compliment he somehow managed to make it sound like an insult, like his tone was permanently stuck that way. She allowed her eyes to drift off of him for a moment, looking around her surroundings and analysing every inch of it in case she needed to escape. There was still no sign of Steve but there was a room behind where Milo stood where her soldier could be held. Amelia wanted to just barge through the crowd, get Steve and get out of there, but there were too many people and it would take her too long to get to Steve. Many of the punks could easily go into the back room and exterminate her soldier before she had a chance to reach him.

Turning back to Milo, she fixed him under her burning stare once more, "Captain America, let him go."

Though it seemed impossible, his grin grew wider. He turned around, nodding to two members of his crew that immediately moved into the back room, confirming her thoughts that that was where he was being held. He turned back to face her, keeping his eyes trained on her face. He pulled out his phone and dialled a number on it, the call being answered instantly though he didn't put it against his ear. "You make a single move to attack us, and the person on the other line will overhear and kill your beloved, got it?"

She nodded her head, already familiar with the terms of their agreement that she'd accepted by going to the warehouse. Any ideas of slaying the criminals had to be put to the back of her mind, for Steve's sake. In order to show that she wasn't going to attack anyone, she unravelled her fists and clasped her hands together in front of her.

From behind the swarm she heard a scuffle of multiple feet against the ground and in spite of the uncaring nature she was trying to portray, she bent her body so that she could see around Milo. Though his head was covered, she could easily recognise Steve's body, familiar enough with it after spending many nights sleeping beside it. He seemed so small in their arms. Her soldier was clearly incapable of standing on his feet so the two punks that were carrying him from the back room were dragging him across the floor.

She had to inhale and exhale long, deep, breaths in order to withhold the anger that purged her body at the sight of Steve so beaten and broken.

She was going to destroy them all. Every single person that touched him. She was going to rip all their limbs from their body and make them drown in their own blood. She was going to watch the light leave their eyes with the purest of delight. She was going to _kill_ them all.

More breaths had to be done to try and quieten down the monster raging inside her mind. It wasn't like before, she'd accepted her past and of course she felt guilty for all the innocent people she'd killed. But the people before her, they weren't innocent, they were all guilty. There was a part of her that was only slightly torn. She'd thought after her relapse that she was done for good killing people, but she was beginning to learn that there really was no choice. Especially in that situation. The people who hurt her man deserved punishment. She was being kind by choosing to punish them with just a swift death.

They dragged Steve closer to her, and when he was a touching distance away she couldn't resist anymore. "Please let me say goodbye to him." More hatred rose up in her as she showed weakness to them but she had to ask. Amelia didn't know what would happen after Steve left, she didn't know why they needed her, so if that was going to be her last opportunity to see him for a while then she _had_ to take it. "Please," she looked back to Milo, trying to convey how desperate she was.

He looked at her with pity and though normally she would have snapped at such a look, in that moment she was glad for it. She took that look as permission and she ran over to him, her hands moving to the bag so that she could lift it up.

"Steve," her voice cracked as she called out to him, hoping that though he was unconscious he'd still be able to find her words somehow. "You're safe now," she whispered as she pressed her lips against his in a chaste kiss. Though only momentary, she used that one kiss to pour every emotion she felt into him. All her love, all her adoration, all her desperation. She asked him if he'd ever forgive her with that kiss. And then she let go of him, dropping the bag and allowing them to take him away from her. The brunette had wanted to promise him that she was going to see him again, but she knew that she couldn't.

But he was safe, she'd saved him, that's what mattered.

Her demeanour changed in the blink of the eye, no one in that room sure when the desperate lover turned in a cold assassin. Amelia had to look away as Steve was dragged completely out of view, every fibre of her being wishing that she could chase after him and be with him. But she couldn't. She couldn't. That's what she needed to remember. She couldn't be with him or else his life would be taken. "What now?" She asked Milo, a completely different person to the one that had held Steve and soothed his burdens.

For a moment, Milo's smile went. For a moment, he felt sorry for the monster before him because she wasn't a monster at all. He knew what that was like, it was the biggest pain of his life. Both of his parents had told him he was a monster and they'd scarred him enough to make him look like one, even in his own eyes whenever he looked in a mirror. The journey to becoming a monster was paved with pain, and the hardest part of it came when one remembered what they were like before. Clearly, he and Amelia had gone down different paths though, he'd embraced the monster he was, become the fiercest kind and made all those that made him that way to pay for it. Amelia seemed different, she'd gone down a path where she was trying to become human again. And that's why he felt sorry for her, because she'd allowed herself to fall in love, thinking that such a life could ever be possible but it _wasn't_. He knew that. She'd learn that.

He sniffed, turning his nose up at her and looking away, not wanting to be hypnotised any more. Milo had an image he needed to maintain, one that was unsympathetic to doe-eyed girls. "Now we wait for the boss to show up, they'll tell you what they want you to do," he held up the phone once again, showing it off to the brunette, "don't think just because Steve's not here anymore you can do something silly, the people with him can hear everything that's happening," he dropped the phone back down but he kept it in his hand, making sure it was secure. "If the call hangs up, or if they hear a scuffle, then they'll kill him. Got it?"

He'd expected another show of anger but she remained eerily calm, her behaviour robotic. "Sure. When does your boss get here?"

"Noon, so we've got some time to kill," Milo was watching her carefully though he tried to pretend like he wasn't, taking a sip of his whiskey and keeping his movements relaxed.

Another punk dressed in red and black stepped into the circle, eyeing Amelia up with a poisoned gaze she was far too familiar with. He was a snake, just like some of the agents in Hydra had been, and they looked at her with an urge to inject their venom inside of her veins. "I say we have some fun with her then, Milo,"

"You're not to touch her," Milo instantly responded, pressing his hand that held the whiskey against the punk's chest, pushing him back into the wall of bodies. The punk looked upset but he accepted the orders. Just to make sure his point was clear, Milo turned around so he could look each and every one of his subordinates in the eye, yelling out an order, "none of you!"

"So you are the leader then," Amelia noted, making him feel uncomfortable beneath her analytical gaze.

He pushed the nerves aside, he was the one in power, there was no reason to be scared. He shrugged his shoulders and put his trademark knife-pointed smirk back on his lips, "what, you can't tell?" The brunette did not reply and she didn't give him a reaction either, she just gave him that same blank stare she had been dawning from the start. Wanting more from her, Milo began to speak once more, getting bravely close to the girl with sharp eyes. "I know you're not the leader, Captain America was the one pulling the strings, right?" He cattishly mused, circling around her.

"We were a _team_."

It was a response, that was good enough for Milo and he even got a slight twitch of her eyebrow as Amelia internally beat herself up for being so quick to reply defensively. She'd never been great at controlling her anger, it was why she was put in the torture pit so much and the brunette had stopped training herself to do keep a calm nature after leaving Hydra, believing there was no use for it. She never expected to be in a situation like that again. How foolish of her.

"We're a team too, but I'm the one that gives them orders and keeps track of everyone. Kind of like a family, and I'm the daddy," Milo chuckled and opened his arms to all his 'children' earning snickers and cries from his henchmen at the wording he'd chosen. Whilst everyone else boisterously laughed at his statement, Amelia remained like a statue. He supposed if they put her in a robe she probably could pass as a Greek statue, she had the perfect empty gaze and curvaceous body that he recognised on most of the statues. She'd be a greek goddess, he thought, she had such a well-known history of hunting down people and mercilessly killing that he was sure if they were in a different time, she'd be considered a goddess.

Putting his musings aside, he gave up on trying to get any reaction from her, there was no point when she was a well-trained assassin. He could find his fun elsewhere. It was a shame they'd had to give Captain America up though, he'd proven to be a lot of fun. "Alright, guess you didn't learn humour when they were teaching you to be a human," he hummed. He turned around. "Whatever. Just sit down and don't move."

She did as was ordered, choosing to sit on one of the barrells inside the warehouse rather than the dirty floor that she had no doubt had been peed on by someone at some point. The people inside the warehouse didn't look like they really cared for hygiene. She didn't really, it was the one thing Steve always seemed to be complaining about, especially since they'd settled down in the facility. But even she knew not to pee on any random spot on the floor.

The crowd dispersed though many remained inside the warehouse to keep an eye on the brunette, most of them staring at her like she was some sort of rare animal in a zoo. All of them had heard about her killings. She was a famous ghost story among gangs. A monster they were told about as they grew up. It was surreal for most of them to finally see her, especially because she looked so human, not at all like the raven-winged, sharp-clawed, fang-baring monster they'd been depicting.

One brave henchman approached her about an hour into her stay, unperturbed by the empty stare she'd been directing at a wall the entire time. It had actually irritated him how motionless she'd seemed. The girl was inside one of the biggest and fiercest gang's lair, yet she was behaving like someone in a waiting room for an appointment. In his eyes, she should have been quivering. He was one of the few that hadn't grown up hearing stories about her tyranny.

"How many people have you killed?" He asked, boisterously, stumbling his way forward as alcohol mixed with a few other drugs clouded his mind. Her gaze didn't move from the wall, so he stepped closer, his face practically pressing against hers as he persisted with his slurring speech. "Word on the street is that you're the best of the best, reckon you could teach me a few things?"

Though the brunette didn't react to his words, one of the other henchmen stood close by did. He noticed the interaction and practically jogged over, grabbing his friends arm and tugging on it with wide green eyes brimming full of apprehension as they looked at Amelia. "Leave her be man," he urged, managing to get him a few centimetres away from the brunette, only to have the punk try and take another step back over to her. "Milo doesn't want any of us talking to her."

"What's she going to do?" He scoffed, gesturing to her with his hand.

"It's more what the boss will do, we need the money and they might not give it to us," the smaller punk gave the persistent one a look, raising his eyebrows suggestively, sharing a few unspoken words between them. Seconds later, the abrasive punks shoulders fell and he stopped tugging away from his friend.

"Whatever," he hissed, walking away. It didn't look like Amelia was listening to him, it looked like she'd left her body entirely, but she was and she heard the punk as he muttered obsenaties about her, at one point stating: "she doesn't look like she's worth all that money, whoever's paying us got scammed."

Those few words at least gave her something to think about.

Milo had stepped into the back office, sitting himself on the same barrell he'd sat on when watching Steve get beaten by his men. From his observations, both Steve and Amelia were very different people. Amelia didn't look like the type to always concentrate on doing the greater good. As he'd thought earlier, she looked like she fit perfectly in with his group. But the way she was dwelling so calmly on that barrell told him he'd underestimated her. Amelia was on a whole new level of dark, the worst kind of dark in his opinion. She didn't do any cruel act for her own self-gratification, she did it out of a sense of duty which meant she got to paint any horrifying act as something gold. It was never gold, it was never going to be gold, it would always just be red.

"Hey, daddy Milo! Boss is here, and the Captain's been dropped off at the location she gave us."

"Alright-y," He jumped off of the barrell and entered the main part of the warehouse, bringing with him his bottle of whiskey and the mobile phone that he unthinkingly shut, hanging up the call they'd had.

Amelia had been staring straight at the wall in front of her, he had no idea that she would have seen the movement. He waved his hand, getting everyone's attention so that he could yell out orders, "hey, clean yourselves up! We've got company!"

Milo had moved into the centre of the room where Amelia was. From beside him, she jumped back to her feet and began to rub the back of her pants to get all of the dirt off of her jeans. She remained emotionless, and yet, there was something else there. Milo couldn't tell what it was at first.

"Steve's been dropped off?"

Milo recognised it then, that look in her eyes. It was the look an addict had before they got the high they'd been chasing, they knew they were getting it and they couldn't wait. Her eyes flashed to the phone he'd hung up. She knew that Steve was out of their hands. She knew she could _kill_.

"Don't you da-" He raised up his hands, panic brimming over his body but it was far too late.

Balls of black light had already begun forming above them, taking the shape of cones, like icicles. Their sharp tips were the last thing most people in that room got to see as the shards fell down, slicing through multiple bodies before turning into dust. Some of the punks would have stopped to admire the beautiful spectacle, had they not been fearing for their lives.

Milo saw the devastation and he turned back to look at Amelia, but she'd vanished. The room was full of too many punks and more from outside were flooding in as they heard the screams. Light filled the room, dashing around and plunging into multiple bodies. But there was also a shadow.

A shadow that had Milo trembling, panic clouding his mind, he didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to save anyone.

The dark shadow weaved through the room, knocking back and slicing through people, humans, lives. Anything that came into contact with the shadow fell to the floor, dead. Some of the punks had started to realise that they'd wandered into a death trap so they tried to make a run for it. Their punishment for trying to desert the battle came swiftly.

Devastation rained down in that room with the force of a blizzard, and what covered the floor afterwards were dead bodies. Hundreds. Except for Milo, the last one standing. The last one to fall.

As soon as the ruin had started, it came to a bitter end. A calm tension settled like dust, a loud silence standing between Milo and Amelia. The calm girl was gone and the monster had arrived. The brunette stood formally, covered in blood that matted her hair and coated her skin. In her bloodied hands was a knife that droplets of blood fell from. Their eyes connected for a single second and in that moment, Milo knew his fate had been sealed.

The brunette took a step closer to him, making him take a step back in an attempt to retreat but there was a dead body behind him and he tripped over it. As he plummeted to the ground he tried to keep his liquor safe, sacrificing his back in order to hold up his bottle. It was instinctual, and dumb, as he was momentarily disoriented by the pain.

"You're the one in charge, that means it's on you that Steve was hurt. You get to suffer the longest."

She kneeled down beside him, grabbing a handful of his hair so she could ensure they were looking at each other as she drove her blade into his stomach, twisting it and allowing grotesque squelching sounds to fill the warehouse. He opened his mouth, aiming to scream but no sound followed the action. Only pain. Blinding, excruciating, pain.

It wasn't supposed to end like that. Him and his gang were meant to get money that would allow them to buy a proper home, somewhere they'd be safe, and weapons. They were going to take over the world, just a bunch of rag-tag nobody's and it was going to be _beautiful_. That's why it hurt so much. Milo wasn't just feeling the pain of his life ending, it was also his dream that was being killed.

"Well done Amelia," a voice called from the opening of the warehouse, the sound of clapping following the greeting. The tone was far too happy for the havoc that had happened in that room.

The brunette turned her head slowly, still pushing the blade deeper into Milo's body. And then, at the sight of the person that had entered the room, her hand dropped from the blade entirely. It wasn't possible. The person that entered the warehouse was supposed to be the 'boss' they'd been mentioning all day, but no, Amelia simply couldn't believe it. It couldn't be.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Amelia gasped.

* * *

 **A/N: WHO DO YOU THINK IT IS!?**

 **Also anyone notice that Amelia accidentally made Steve dream those things by putting so many emotions into her kiss?**

 **This has been upped again, chapter 56 also ended up being longer than I thought so it's now part three is now 23 chapters long. I'm hoping this will be the last time I do that lol. I swear I was genuinely trying to make this short.**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, hope you enjoyed the chap!**

 **To .2018, thank you!**

 **To Sam0728, will he find her? Or will she find him? Or will no one find anyone and I'm secretly ending everything in part three?**

 **To BrittStar1199, all I can say is that Amelia did really make all that progress with herself, and she was so proud of herself as well. She really thought her darkness was turning into light. And yes! I'm glad the relationship between Tony and Amelia is very clear, like you perfectly stated, they're not T'Challa and Shuri.**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, thank you so much :) I hope I don't disappoint with Amelia's POV, I'm a tad worried it may drag on a bit because chapters keep ending up longer than I intended them to be but it's all me trying to get the character right. There's still plenty of plot and plenty of angst. And eventually there could be fluff. And thank you for calling this a work of art, made me smile big time ^^**

 **To Live-to-forgive, what do you gain by posting this kind of thing on a platform like this? I respect you've got your religion, I swear, but I just ? What does this accomplish?**

 **And a big thank you to everyone that read the chapter and doesn't post reviews about the world ending and jesus christ being our only saviour!**


	57. Chapter Fifty-Four

**CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR**

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" _Sometimes we are just the collateral damage in someone else's war against themselves."_

― _**Lauren Eden**_

* * *

"What are _you_ doing here?"

Across from Amelia, stood in the main doorway of the warehouse, was a person the brunette was all too familiar with. The person looked the same as the day they first met them, dressed in the same brown suit with her blonde hair pulled up into a tight ponytail that reached the nape of her neck, amber glasses perched atop her nose.

"You weren't expecting me?" Rebecca Kaplan asked with a smug stretch of her lips, shoulders shrugging apathetically as she continued to walk further into the warehouse, stepping over the dead bodies like they were just pieces of furniture in the way of her path.

"Of course I wasn't," Amelia snapped, hands tightening by her side as her brain tried to make sense of what was happening. "Please tell me why you're here, it can't possibly be because…"

"Because I orchestrated all of this? But that is why I'm here." Rebecca came to stand in the middle of the room, looking far too clean and far too expensive for all the mess and grime encompassing the warehouse. Rebecca moved the purse she was holding into the crook of her elbow, crossing her arms in a way that allowed her to keep one hand inside of her bag.

Amelia eyed her ex-therapists hands carefully, instinct telling her that she could be pulling a gun out of her bag at any moment to attack. Even that notion had her mouth dropping open even more and her eyes bulging from her head. Rebecca Kaplan really was the last person she'd expected to appear, hell, even an evil genius dog had crossed her mind when she'd been trying to guess who was in charge, never Rebecca.

"Ha," The blonde psychologist spat the word out, feigning a chuckle whilst all her eyes burned with were pride, the same kind of proud expression Alexander Pierce would wear after he'd destroyed her spirit in the naughty pit. It was an expression Amelia would never be able to forget. "The look on your face right now," Rebecca continued mockingly, "if only you'd paid more attention during our sessions, maybe you would have seen this coming."

Had Amelia's spirit been destroyed again? She didn't like the sense of defeat that was beginning to vibrate her bones. She'd killed again but that meant she'd won against all the people that had hurt her soldier. So why was the brunette feeling as though she'd lost?

"But… you're not evil." That was the hardest part for Amelia to wrap her head around. Rebecca wasn't a villain, not in the sense she'd learnt. Rebecca wasn't a power hungry wolf in sheep's clothing, or a killer robot, not even a soldier following the wrong person's orders. Rebecca was a mother of three and a wife, whose entire profession centred around nurturing and healing people. She was a woman that Amelia had spent countless amounts of hours with, building a friendship with.

'If only you'd paid more attention during our sessions, maybe you would have seen this coming', the words repeated over and over again as the cogs in Amelia's brain turned, their movements slow and jolting as she remained incapable of processing all the events that had led up to that moment. There were no clues. Amelia was sure of it.

Amelia Stark was darkness incarnate, it filled her eyes, danced in her hair, pulsed through her veins. That meant that she could sense other peoples darkness. Rebecca had always been gold though, like Steve. Gold, and shiny, and too perfect for Amelia to touch.

She looked down at her hands then. They were so red. So dirty. She didn't know if she'd ever be able to touch Steve again.

"No, I'm not. And I'm not a part of Hydra, before you try suggesting that. Don't insult me." Rebecca's voice took on a tone of disgust as she talked about Hydra, which Amelia found curious as _she_ was the one whose life had been destroyed by the organisation, not her therapist. She thought perhaps that was where her hatred had stemmed from, but from the way Rebecca was acting, she didn't seem to care all that much about whatever horrors might have happened to her in the past.

"It's time for our next session Amelia," she chimed, "today I'll be teaching you that the person you'd take a bullet for, is sometimes the one behind the trigger."

It really was her. Rebecca really had been the one to orchestrate Steve's kidnapping and brought Amelia there.

The idea started to make a little more sense. On the letter she'd received with Steve's picture, it had stated 'your soldier' which she thought was weird as that was something she'd personally use when talking about Steve, but she'd just put it down as a coincidence. And the plan to get her there had quite literally been the perfect plan. There was only one way to get Amelia to obey orders anymore, and that was through threatening Steve's life. To threaten her was to sign their own life sentence. Steve was the only string Amelia had left that when tugged would take control of her, making her back into the puppet Alexander made her to be. And of course, there were only two people that really knew all of that. Steve was one of them, and Rebecca the other.

"Wipe that sadness off your face," Rebecca chastised, "like I said before, if you'd paid attention during our sessions then you wouldn't be so betrayed right now, you'd understand why I'm doing what I have to."

Black embers fell from Amelia's fingertips, the brunette looking to Rebecca with hatred, using the turbulent emotion as an ointment for the betrayal she felt, though, really all Amelia was doing was adding gasoline to the already raging fire within. "You hurt Steve," it was a statement, a fact, that Amelia could not and would not forget.

"I knew it was the only way I could get you to kill again. You like to think you're cured of what Hydra did to you, but it's locked into your nature now. You pretend it doesn't exist, but it's always been there, now you just need a worthy enough cause to do it," Rebecca's head lolled to the side as she gave Amelia her explanation, stating each fact as though it should have been obvious.

Amelia closed her hands into fists, sending all of her energy down into her hands where they became inevitably encompassed by her black energy, the tendrils of the energy dancing upwards across her wrist like flames, but they did not burn her at all. They would, however, burn her betrayer. "You're right," her shocked expression melted into cold and detached, "it is a worthy enough cause to kill. And you'll be my next victim."

Dr Kaplan's eyes fell down to the hands beside Amelia's side, intrigued by the black energy that she'd heard so much about. She also looked very pleased to see it. A coy smile remained on her face as she pushed her hand further down into her bag, seemingly grabbing onto something in a tight grasp. The movement had Amelia on a red alert, ready to run over and attack the doctor, ready to show her that she'd messed with the wrong person.

"Ah-ah, I wouldn't do that if I were you," Rebecca tutted when she noticed Amelia move her left foot forward, she pulled her hand from her bag, holding in that hand not a weapon but her mobile phone. There was a number on the screen and her thumb was hovering over the call button. Because it wasn't a weapon, Amelia should have been able to still attack, and yet, she'd learnt from Milo how the communication devices could also be used as a weapon so she did become statuesque, showing with her face that she was expecting an explanation. Rebecca's smug grin seemed to stretch further as Amelia reacted exactly the way she'd expected her to. "Another thing I learnt during our time together, is that you're loyal. I mean, I get it. I'm loyal to my family, I'd do anything for them, just like you would for yours. And this? This is the switch to a bomb that is currently inside the Avengers facility." She wiggled her hand that was holding the phone, making a big display of the small device, "your soldier, and the god, they might survive it. But Aaron, your brother, Nat? They'll die."

It had been a mistake for Amelia to allow her rage to fuel her fire, it had made the flame far too large and gotten in the way of rational thought. Rebecca's words had only been more droplets of gasoline though, her threats to the people Amelia loved making the fire almost uncontrollable. "Don't play games with me," the brunette warned through gritted teeth, her arms becoming encompassed by the black energy as she took another step forward, finding delight blossom deep in her belly as Rebecca's smug expression was replaced by fear.

"Stop right there! Don't come any closer or I'll press the button!" She lifted her hand even higher in the air, inching her thumb closer to the button, "I'll do it!"

But Amelia didn't want to stop, she wanted to make Rebecca suffer in so many ways that the doctor would think she'd been transported to hell itself. But she couldn't, because things were different. Amelia actually had something to lose. "Don't play games with me, Kaplan. Don't ever, _ever_ , think you're capable of that," Amelia had spent the first part of her life playing the game. She was the game, and the rulebook and the player.

"You say that, but look at you obeying my orders." The doctor dropped her hand back down to her side, assured that Amelia wouldn't attack out of fear for those she cared about. "I _know_ you, Amelia. Intimately. Possibly more than Steve does. So don't you ever think you're capable of playing games with _me_ , because I know just how to make your life miserable. What was it you used to say you dreamt about? The world going out one scream at a time? That's what I'll do to your world. Starting with your family."

Her frown twitched as she tried to keep down a snarl, tried to keep down every spark in her nerves that demanded she strangle the life out of Rebecca, make her pay for laying a finger on her soldier and threatening the rest of her family. But she couldn't allow herself to fester in those emotions like she used to, she couldn't allow her bloodlust to take over, because she wouldn't allow her friends to get hurt.

It's what Steve would do, that's what she reminded herself of. Steve was a good person and he wouldn't allow his friends to get hurt because of a thing that he could have easily prevented by just staying calm.

Amelia's shoulders dropped down and she stood up straighter so she was no longer stood in a ready-to-slaughter pose. "What do you want from me?" Amelia's rage was still laced in her voice, but there was also resignation.

"Good, you're starting to get it." The doctor gave a curt nod at the ex-assassin, glad she'd stood down. She shuffled slightly, trying to shake off the very obvious fright she'd experienced when seeing Amelia approach her, returning to her calm and proud demeanour that Rebecca always seemed to possess, even during their first session she'd had a serene air about her. Rebecca kept the phone in her hand as she visited her handbag once again, shuffling through its contents to reach for a manila folder that she proceeded to hand over to the agitated brunette, "I want you to do what you do best, Amelia. Kill."

 _Of course_. Why else would someone come to her for help?

It was a shame really, because Rebecca had chosen to go about her mission in a certain way. If she had just asked Amelia for help, explained what she'd needed, then the brunette would have done her best to help no matter what in order to repay the debt she owed the doctor. But no, Rebecca had chosen to blackmail and threaten and ruin all friendship they had between them.

"Who?" She'd returned to being robotic, emotionless, a statue made from iron, not porcelain.

"Five people, all of them used to work for Hydra so I know you'll get some enjoyment out of it," Rebecca directed as the brunette searched through the contents of the folder she'd been handed. Her new targets. "I need you to find out about some sort of weapon they have, they called it Pandora's box."

As Rebecca explained about the Pandora's box, Amelia found it listed on each of the agent's files as a weapon that they took part in creating, it was the last page that got her attention the most. On it, it gave the name of the head of the Pandora's Box creation, as well as a picture of their leader. It was a person she knew far too well. Alexander Pierce.

She looked over to Rebecca, knowing for sure that the doctor understood her connection with the weapon's creator, but the blonde didn't seem to care which hurt her slightly more. Despite what Rebecca had done, they did use to be one of Amelia's closest friends, not just a therapist, but a confidant that held her together in her darkest times. She was going to miss those times. Sighing, her black eyes fell back to the folder in her hand. "Where did you get all this information?"

"I used to work for SHIELD before you and Steve broke it, remember? That's where we met."

"Were you planning on using me like this back then?" She asked the question as casually as one would ask another what they had for breakfast, most of her attention placed on the notes inside, trying to get an understanding of the person that they were being forced to hunt down.

The first victim would be Edmund Buchner, a german soldier turned Hydra agent. He had a longstanding history of covert missions, an impressive list that seemed the length of even Amelia's, she was sure he'd end up being a challenge despite being in his late 80's.

"No," Rebecca answered quickly, honestly, "but things have changed, I've changed. Now I have no choice."

Amelia closed the folder in her hand, done with learning the history of her first victim. Her blank stare was somehow more terrifying than the angered one, Rebecca noticed. It made you wonder what she was going to do next, but it at the same time told you that whatever it would be, it wouldn't be good.

"Steve taught me that there's always a choice," the brunette responded, half speaking for Rebecca, half speaking for herself. She was having to make a choice then, to go back to her old ways, but it was in order to save him. That should have been enough justification, but still, she felt like there was no light for her at the end of the tunnel. Maybe for Steve, and the rest of her family. But not for her, not if she went to kill again.

"He was lying," the doctor snapped, a fire with the same might as Amelia's sparking in her eye at the notion that she could possibly have a _choice_. Amelia saw the hatred in Rebecca's eyes, able to recognise it with ease and because she was so used to it, even though it was coming from someone so close, she wasn't affronted by it. Her empty reaction seemed to annoy Rebecca further, though even Rebecca didn't know what she was more angry about. The fact that Amelia thought she had a choice, or the fact that Amelia had no idea why she _had_ to do what she doing. She stepped closer to Amelia, a touching distance away for the brunette but the doctor had kept the phone poised in her hand to ensure Amelia's motives didn't change to something dark. "He only told you that because they're scared of what you can do, they need you to think that you're capable of being anything other than a weapon in order to save themselves. I've read your file so many times Amelia, the things you've done, all those memories in your head. You could never have been anything other than a weapon."

"You're wrong." There wasn't any fight in her voice because Amelia didn't feel the need to fight Rebecca's words. She was wrong, there was no doubt in her mind that the doctor was so _very_ wrong. She was human, she'd learnt to be human, she'd done so many human things. Maybe once upon a time she was a weapon, but not anymore.

"Why? Because you don't see Pierce anymore? Because you've accepted what happened to you now? A snake that sheds its skin is still a snake." As Rebecca looked down at the freckled brunette (managing to be an entire six inches taller due to the hells she wore), her eyes turned to slits and her words became encompassed in venom. Amelia wondered momentarily if she realised, in that moment, that she was more snake than Amelia. "You got morals, you learnt to love, that's all well and good but at the end of the day, you'll still always be what they made you. It's simply how you're programmed."

Again she shook her head, but her emotionless facade was beginning to crack and uncontrollable black tendrils were sparking between her fingers once again, "you're just saying that to try and get in my head."

"Sure," Rebecca shrugged, taking a step back, her angered tone melting away into a neutral one once again, "or, maybe after over a hundred sessions of talking about your past and what happened to you, I'm just saying the truth you were never ready to hear."

That was a notion Amelia didn't want to think about.

Lifting up the folder, she signalled Rebecca's attention onto it, moving back onto a subject that was much easier for the brunette to handle. "So, I kill all of these, and then what?"

"Then I'll need you to retrieve Pandora's box, assuming that you've gotten the desired information. If not, then, kaboom," she theatrically threw her hands up in the air, doing her best imitation of Amelia's blood-hungry smile as she prophesied the Avenger's fate.

She gave a look of understanding accompanied by a curt nod. The mission was clear. Torture people for information, then kill them. But there was one last thing that didn't make sense to her, one last thing she needed to know. She didn't care anymore about Rebecca's intentions, but she did want to know why her doctor, her close friend, had chosen to break such a bond and curse Amelia's hands red again even though she'd been the one pushing her to improve previously. "I don't get it though, why me?"

"That, my dear, is a question for another day." She chimed, voice as gentle as a butterflies touch, "So, what's your decision?"

Amelia scoffed, a small break from the emotionless facade, "like I get to make one."

The doctor smiled appreciatively and reached into her blood red handbag once again, pulling out another phone that looked similar to the one she was already holding. "Take this phone with you, it will track your location and if I see you going anywhere suspicious, I won't hesitate to flick the switch. Got it?" Amelia took it, familiarising herself with it before placing the phone into the pocket of her leather jacket, zipping up the pocket so she could make sure that she didn't lose the phone and accidentally cause all of her friend's deaths.

"Oh, and another thing," once more Rebecca's hand delved from her purse, pulling out what looked to be another smaller purse with no handles, "I got you a present."

She eyed it carefully before taking it, the word 'present' feeling like it was wrongly used. Rebecca sent her an expectant, almost excited, raise of her eyebrows, letting Amelia know that she was expected to open the case. Tentatively she did so, taking her time with unzipping the case as though there would be some sort of bomb inside. And then, just as slowly as she'd unzipped it, she opened up the case and revealed a set of ten knives. There were big knives, small knives, sharp knives, deadly knives, and one singular butter knife that had a hilt a different colour to the rest, a last-minute addition Amelia was sure.

* * *

 **A/N: So, we know who the culprit is, now the question is why? And what is Pandora's Box, any guesses?**

 **I've started thinking up what fanfictions I can write after this, and I've got two really good ideas. Ones for spiderman, and the other for Bucky. Dunno if any of you actually care, but I thought it might be worth asking? Obviously nothings set in stone and I'll be continuing this until I get to the end of Infinity War, but then I'll be going on hiatus until the second movie comes out so... Idk, I've got more plot for the spiderman one in my head, but I like the idea for the Bucky one. If you want to hear more, let me know, I guess?**

 **To Pitspee, I applaud you for your guess, well done!**

 **To Unajet, Aaron's a great kid tbh, just 10/10, my heart explodes when I think of him. And here's a lil hint, Hydra is involved but not in the way most people have been suspecting.**

 **To .2018, gracias!**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, I think you were the first to figure it out so well done!**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, the theories never annoy me! I absolutely adore reading what everyone thinks is going to happen, it's so interesting. And, alas, Rumlow isn't included all that much because I never really included him when I was writing TWS.**

 **To Sam0728, hope you liked the reveal!**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, Amelia's black energy stems a lot from Steve. I sort of hinted at it here and there but I don't think I really go into it. They first appeared in 2012, right? That was when she first met Steve. And since then it's like that side of her has linked itself with him. They were pretty much destined to return to each other eventually. Anyway, so then the car crash happens and the scientists think the black energy came because she was close to death but what else happened then? She was taken away from Steve. And when Steve gets kidnapped, what appears? Her black powers.**

 **To FireflyDarkness, nahhhhh Aaron's an angel**

 **To BrittStar1199, hope things make a lil bit more sense now!**

 **To Dawn's Darkness, Rumlow makes sense but Amelia and Rumlow never really got close in TWS, so if she met him now and he threatened her family and friends I don't think she would have believed him. Rebecca's sort of linked to Rumlow a bit though. But that lil connection will be explained later.**

 **To LadyAmazon, honestly it's a shame it's none of them. I should have just done one of them. Do you want to take over this fanfiction for me? You have way better ideas than I do.**

 **And a big thank you to everyone that read the chapter!**


	58. Chapter Fifty-Five

**TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of people being tortured and there's a lot of blood**

* * *

 **CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE**

* * *

" _I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then."_

― _**Lewis Carroll**_

* * *

The home of Edmund Buchner was a small farmhouse out in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by empty fields and secluded enough away from any roads and cities to have no surprise visitors. It was a little different to what Amelia was used to seeing from ex-Hydra agents who normally hid themselves in cheap apartments in busy areas to camouflage. But then again, Edmund wasn't an ordinary Hydra agent, she supposed. His repertoire of killings was almost as long as hers and he'd completed so many missions that it made sense that they'd want him to live a life of luxury after retiring as some sort of reward.

She observed the building from afar for a few hours, making sure that it was just Edmund living in the house and it looked like it definitely was. As the sun began to set, he'd moved to the porch of his one-floor house, a cup of steaming coffee in his hand. Edmund was using a walking stick to get around, telling Amelia that he would be an easier hit than she'd first thought.

The brunette tried to ignore the guilt swelling inside of her belly, internally screaming at the guilt that she _had_ to kill him. Before, she'd have had no issue wiping Edmund from the world, before it didn't matter what age the person she killed was. She replaced the guilt over killing a weak, defenceless, old man with the idea that he'd lived his life, it wasn't a big deal if she ended it early. That didn't make it any easier to carry though, the guilt the size of a watermelon, chiming a song where Steve's name was the only lyric.

He was going to be so disappointed in her, she thought sadly. Not knowing what would be worse: seeing Steve go against his morals on killing just to make her feel less guilty (which was something she knew he'd do for her), or the soldier simply not forgiving her for the act she was about to carry out.

Either way, the persistent guilt trip was making it too hard for her and she knew if she continued to fester in the burdening thoughts that she would never carry out her task.

She needed to switch off. Amelia knew that was the only way she was going to get the task over and done with. She needed to revert back to AS09, let her take over the reins of her body once more so that the brunette could make it through the horrifying task that would have once caused delight to bubble warmly in the pit of her stomach like soup on a cold day. In that moment, it was the complete opposite, ice clinked together in her gut and burnt her insides with a gruesome chill. She needed to pretend that it was warm.

From her position behind a hedge surrounding Edmund's lonely farmhouse, Amelia pulled off her leather jacket, the item too much of a reminder of Steve that it would just get in the way of what she needed to do. And then she grabbed a hold of her 'gift' from Rebecca and unzipped it, revealing all the knives. She grabbed one of the larger knives, what Amelia had come to know as a 'chef knife' through her many cooking ventures. She felt the weight of it, wrapped and unwrapped her fingers around the hilt, repeating the action until it finally felt comfortable in her hand. Then Amelia closed her eyes and tried to remember all the times she'd killed and felt immeasurable pleasure from the act, from seeing light drain from a body, from tasting the blood of her victims. It had been so perfect all those times, so, it could be perfect again.

In her mind, in order to escape that carnivorous guilt, she imagined AS09 appearing before her dressed in a black vest, skinny jeans and hiking boots. Her hands were already damp with blood and she felt that wetness as AS09 grabbed the blade from her palm, hands naturally wrapping around the hilt as though it were an extra limb that had always been there.

And then she began to make her way to the farmhouse, or, AS09 began to make her way to the farmhouse. She imagined that Amelia wasn't with her, that Amelia was safe at home in bed with Steve with a hot chocolate by her side.

When she made it half way to the famrhouse, she expected Edmund to get up and start running, but he simply stayed on the porch sipping from his coffee mug and basking in the fading warmth of the sun. It only made her walk faster, strutting each step with confidence in her abilities to kill leaking out of every pore. She could kill him, because she was Experiment AS09, a weapon meant for exactly that purpose.

He seemed to finally realise he had company when she was standing inches away from the porch, crushing grass beneath her boots. But Edmund still didn't look to her, his eyes fixed on the horizon though he did move his head to face her. "Hello," he called out, a little bit confused but not at all defensive, "who's there?"

She heard it before she felt it, the crack in her mask that formed as she was hit with the realisation that Edmund Buchner was _blind_. Not only was he old and frail, but he was also blind. He was the easiest victim she'd ever had, but the burdening morals that her time with Steve had formed told her that he shouldn't be a victim, that there was no dignity in killing such a man.

But AS09 didn't care for morals, she reminded herself, they were just an encumberance that had been left behind with Amelia.

"I'm AS09, Hydra's greatest weapon, you may have heard about me," It was far too easy to become narcassistic again for her, like slipping into a piece of clothing. Even to her own ears, her voice sounded so much more different, so cold and distant. It was robotic.

" _Hydra_?" He said the organisation's name with a hiss, instantly standing up from his seat as a deep-set frown pushed his lips downward, causing more wrinkles to appear on his sagging face, "no, I told them I want nothing more to do with them. I'm done."

If she was still Amelia, then that would be the moment she decided that she couldn't possibly kill him, because he clearly hated the organisation as much as she did. But she wasn't Amelia, she was Hydra's best asset and the mission was her only purpose in life.

Edmund started to walk away, shoving his cane around the floor to make sure there was nothing in his way as he hobbled over the porch, a half cup of coffee shaking in his hand. She quickly moved to stand in his way, taking her seconds to cross a distance that was taking him minutes to do. AS09 raised her hand not holding the knife and pressed it against Edmund's shoulder, stopping him from walking any further. "I'm not here for them," she explained curtly and that notion seemed to be even more horrorfying for the ex-Hydra agent as his shaking hands became even more erratic.

The dread emmanating from him told her that he knew he was going to die, but he didn't seem at all surprised by it. "I knew this day would come," he admitted bitterly, sadly, "I played a part in creating you, I always knew you'd come for me."

She shook her head, the information stabbing her in the heart and providing some much-needed anger that would come in handy when it came to actually executing him, but that wasn't why she was there. Realising that he couldn't actually see her, she spoke her objection, "I'm actually here for information about Pandora's Box, specifically, it's location."

The cup that had been held in his hand was dropped to the floor, the name of that particular weapon even more terrifying than AS09 to the old man. He began to try and wiggle free of her grip, managing to do so but escape was futile when he couldn't see anything. The old man fell off of his porch, landing harshly on the ground and despite the ache that sparked through his body he tried to crawl away from her. He couldn't tell her about Pandora's Box. He was done with Hydra, he'd tell her anything she needed to know, anything but that.

She calmly stepped off the porch, reaching his side with ease and then, mercilessly, she drove her knife into his leg. AS09 knew she'd have to be a bit more careful with her tortures, he was old which meant he wouldn't be able to handle much. But that didn't mean she'd not get to play around a little.

He released an agonizing yell that echoed through the vast fields, reaching no ears though. "Please," he begged, wheezing from all the pain that was ravishing his body. "Please, I got out of Hydra. Don't do this to me, please."

"You know who I am, do you really think begging will get you anywhere?" AS09 removed the knife from his leg, placing the bloodied blade into the pocket of her jeans so she could make use of both of her hands. She didn't touch Edmund, but she waved her hands above him until his entire body was covered in a black energy that lifted him from the ground. He tried to reach out for the ground, hoping to grasp it and stop himself from being carried even furhter into the air, but the enrgy that surrounded him kept him from making any movements at all.

"You got out too, I heard you got out. Please. I-I have children now, grandchildren too," his begging got him nowhere and he felt his body continue to move, the familiar smell of his home reaching his nostrils and letting him know that he'd been carried back inside his home.

"You never get out of Hydra, not completely," though dull, Edmund could still hear the sad bitterness in her tone that had matched his own, her words telling him that she had actually gotten out of Hydra but something else had pulled her back in.

Eventually, his body was pressed back against a floor though his body was still forced into place, not allowing him to even shuffle the slightest bit. "What are you going to do to me?"

"You used to do this all the time, you should know how we go about torture," she was stood close by, and he heard the sound of a zip but he didn't know exactly what she was unzipping.

"Torture a little, speak a little," the words that fell from his lips weren't that of a grandfather, but the words of a routined soldier. "But I'll talk, just please let me live. Experiment, I have a family now. What about you? What happened to you when you got out?"

His words were hands reaching for Amelia, and AS09 felt that tug of sympathy but she banished it to a cage in the back of her mind before she could let it crack her mask even further. Amelia wasn't there, she'd been put somewhere safe, somewhere where the horrors of AS09's actions wouldn't reach her. "Nothing happened," she denied, speaking both to that tug and Edmund, "absolutely nothing." And in some ways, that was true. Nothing had happened to AS09, she'd been allowed a break whilst Amelia got to _live_.

"I don't believe you," he rebutted, "when you leave Hydra, it's like stepping out of the dark into the light. You've felt that light, right?"

"Darkness is all I'm ever allowed to see, you helped make that happen," she reminded him of his sin, of his part that he'd played in making her. It was something he'd already thought over though, every time he heard a child laugh. Every single time he heard that glorious, uplifting, sound, he'd think about the small child he'd made into a monster. "Now, hush, it's time to play."

She shoved something inside of his mouth, making all his words come out as garbled noises. He'd lost the only power he'd had on her, now there was nothing he could do to save himself. There was no light.

AS09 had opened up her knife case again and set it down at her side, the assortment twinkling at her under the orange glow of Edmund's front room light, begging to be used. Her long fingers twisted around the hilt of the longest knife out of them all, bringing it in front of her face so she could inspect the clean edge. She brought forth one finger from her other hand, stroking the serrated edge and drawing blood from her fingertip. The blade was sharp, sharp enough to cut through the skin. But she lusted for more than just petty flesh wounds, she wanted to see blood gushing onto the floor, creating large puddles that she could practically bathe herself in. Only that would be enough.

Normally, when torturing, she would start out small. Just a few little cuts that would awaken the nerves in a persons body to all the pain that they could feel, then delving deeper into more scarring wounds. But it had been so long since she got to do this, AS09 wanted to celebrate her rebirth with a bang. Or, a limb.

But which limb? That was the question that kept her kneeled by his side for a while. To make the decision easier, she stripped him of his clothing, leaving him in just his underpants. She even did ip-dip-doo but still, AS09 hesitated, and then, an idea popped in her head like a light bulb being switched on. She shuffled closer to the upper half of his body and lifted up his left arm, looking at his underarm for the tattoo she knew higher-ups in Hydra had gotten to show their dedication to the organisation. Thankfully, the tattoo of the skull with tentacles was there, faded, but still there. That tattoo made the decision for her.

She made sure to be slow, doing strong slicing motions against his skin. Cutting through human flesh was different to cutting through meat, it was firmer and warmer to touch. Blood would ooze out of the wound immediately, making it a little harder but as along as you knew what you were doing then you'd make it through eventually. As AS09 had expected, he'd passed out halfway through, his screams fading into a silence that hugged her in greeting. It was weird how silences could be different, some were awkward, some were comfortable, some were eery, but the silence Amelia experienced in that moment was familiar.

Once she was done cutting off the limb, she tossed it aside behind her, quickly moving to wrap his arm tightly so she could make sure he didn't immediately die of blood loss. AS09 had to remember that he was old and therefore wouldn't be able to handle having all of his limbs sawed off. That was her own little treat for herself, a welcome back present.

The blood that covered her hands soon began to dry, but it wasn't as annoying as when flour would stick to her fingers and make them feel like sandpaper, it was almost like putting a facemask on her fingers.

She stood up for a moment, stretching out her limbs. "Oh, it's good to be back," she mused, the words still feeling fake but she had to say them because that was what AS09 would say in such a situation, and that's who she was. She was AS09.

Moving back down to her victim, she laid down beside him, not caring that her back and some strands of her hair were being coated in Edmund's blood. She closed her eyes, the darkness behind her eyelids instantly reminding her of the darkness of the pit and amongst it, appearing like stars, were all the eyes of her victims. And in the centre, joining those judging and pained eyes, were Edmunds. She continued to envision all the eyes as she waited for Edmund to become conscious again, allowing the gazes to bring her happiness. They were all the lives she'd snuffed out. Her. A powerful, unstoppable being. Those eyes weren't ghosts, they were her trophies.

A movement to the side of her made her eyes flash back open, head turning - her cheek pressing into a puddle of blood - so she could see a stirring Edmund. His eyes were closed still and his movements seemed weary but he was conscious. Gracefully, she pushed herself up back onto her knees and removed the sock from his mouth.

"Rise and shine, sleepy head," she cooed, slapping his cheek and leaving a bloody handprint, "it's time to talk."

"I-" he was out of breath, the blood loss getting to him faster than it would a younger man, "I don't know anything."

"If you're going to lie, I suggest you lie better," as she finished her quip she plunged her knife back into his leg, slipping into the wound she'd made earlier. He screamed out in anguish, sobs breaking the bawl into pieces. "Talk to me, Edmund!" She yelled over him, twisting the knife some more.

"Please!" He screamed back, the tears falling from his eyes darkening the bloody handprint on his face, "I'll talk, I'll talk! Stop!"

She did so immediately, letting go of the knife but keeping it inside his leg. "Where's Pandora's Box?"

"I-I don't know," his response had her reaching back over to the knife, twisting it another inch before Edmund starting crying out again, "wait! WAIT!" Again she did, giving him one last chance. "When Hydra fell, I'd already left. But I heard from old co-workers that SHIELD has it."

"You got a location for me, Edmund? I'll be real sweet to you if you do," she let the knife go again, bringing her hand up to his chin that she stroked softly, the touch making him sick to his stomach.

"No location, I don't have a location," his words came out jumbled and he seemed to be losing consciousness again, but she didn't want to lose him when they were making progress so she pulled the knife from his leg, the pain enough to jolt his body awake once again.

"You can't see, so let me explain something to you, Edmund. I have next to me an entire case of knives, ones for fighting, ones for cooking. Big, small. I even have a butter knife. And I'm willing to put each one of these knives into your body in unimaginable ways if you don't tell me what I want." She put her chef's knife down and grabbed a hold of a dagger, the hilt a basic black iron that made the shine of the blade even more dazzling. "Right now, Edmund, I'm holding a knife over your heart. And I'll put it in you without a second thought, and that means no more children, or grandchildren."

"I have nothing more to give, please, I have nothing more to give!" He begged earnestly, the sweetest sound AS09 had ever heard. And then he felt the tip of the dagger pressing against his flesh, slowly and agonisingly being pushed further, the sharp edge cutting through him with ease. "No! No! A code! I have a code!"

She knew that he'd think of something eventually. AS09 had learned that everyone she tortured always had something left to give her. The brunette stopped pushing the dagger in, pulling it away from him and allowing Edmund to breath, chest heaving as each inhale and exhale seemed to cause him more pain.

"The six of us that worked on Pandora's Box, we each created a two number code for the case that holds Pandora's box," his words were beginning to slur again, making AS09 feel rushed.

"Go on, Edmund," she pushed.

"02," he heaved, "02 was my number."

A knife-pointed smile stretched open her face, "that was very helpful, thank you Edmund."

"So you'll stop?" He asked, his voice already showing relief. But Edmund should have known better. He should have known that the monster he was facing in that moment was Experiment AS09, Hydra's cruellest and most blood-thirsty weapon. Her very bones were stained with sin, scorched from fires, soaked with blood. She hadn't lived through fire, she was the fire, and she was going to make the entire god damn world _burn_.

"Oh, Edmund," she sighed, dragging her hands across his skin again, "you already know the answer."

And perhaps, there was a little bit of Amelia in her then. Because she killed him, she did, she drove that knife into his heart three times and watched as he choked on his own blood, watched as mewling sobs which wracked his body, eventually becoming nothing.

But she didn't kill him the way AS09 would have, slowly, and with her eyes fixed on his so that she could watch the light fade.

She did it quickly. And instead of leaving him as soon as her job was done, Edmund becoming just another pair of eyes to hide in her head, she stayed by his side until the final breath left his body and an hour after that. She didn't let him die alone, and that was the biggest mercy AS09 had ever given to one of her victims. She didn't look in his eyes either, she didn't even look at him, her eyes were only on her bloodied hands, feeling the impossible weight the blood held.

It was dark outside by the time she was done with him. The front door to his home had been left open, the sounds of crickets and dancing grass filling the suddenly cold expanse of his empty halls. AS09 wasn't sure how much time had passed, neither was Amelia as she found herself transported into that room. AS09 fading away, leaving her with the mess of what she'd done.

She tried to fight off the realisation, tried to deny it's heaviness. She'd had to kill, all her friends and family would have been murdered if she hadn't done what Rebecca told her to. Amelia had to do it. She had to do it. _She had to do it_.

But repeating those words did nothing but make them more meaningless and the next thing she knew, her bloodied hands were shaking erratically and her mouth had opened, a silent scream filtering out of her throat as a croaking sound. She tried to put her hand over her mouth, wanting to muffle the weeps but she couldn't touch herself anymore, she didn't want the blood on her skin. It felt _filthy_. She needed it off of her.

Jumping up, she ran into the kitchen, turning on the tap and rubbing her hands roughly under the water, watching as red cascaded off of her and into the sink. After her hands, she began to scrub her cheeks, and placed her hair under the stream also. She needed it off of her. The red. The sin. The fire. It was burning her.

Wails began to leak from her as she did so, hands fumbling erratically but Amelia needed to rid herself of it.

And then she heard a phone ring. She wasn't sure of it at first, her head plunged underneath the tap. Amelia turned the tap off, pausing and listening to the melodic chime of a mobile phone, it wasn't hers because it was still inside her leather jacket behind the hedge. The phone that was ringing was much closer.

Slowly, with careful steps that made the worn wooden floor creak, Amelia entered the front room once again. She didn't let her eyes look at Edmund's corpse. Instead, she continued to follow the sound of the music, eventually figuring out that the phone was inside of Edmund's pants that were discarded on the floor next to his separated arm. The Hydra tattoo looked up at her, almost mockingly. She stayed away from the arm, keeping a distance between her and awkwardly stretching out her arm to grab the pants. Once they were in her grasp, she removed herself from the room, unable to handle the stench of her sin.

The call had already ended by the time she found the phone. It was a simple flip phone, much like a burner phone which she supposed had been his phone of choice because he'd already know the keys pretty well from his days working with Hydra. She opened it up, being greeted by a photo of children, making her wonder how long exactly Edmund had been blind if he'd chosen to make the lock screen of his phone his grandchildren. A bitter thought passed through her mind, perhaps he'd done it just to make anyone that tried to kill him feel guilty.

The call had come from someone named 'Edmund Jr', but Amelia wasn't bothered about that.

Finding the phone felt like a gift, an opportunity for her to call the one number she knew by heart. For a while, she was simply debating it in her head. Steve would have probably found the warehouse full of dead bodies by then, which meant he knew that she'd relapsed. He'd be angry at her. Betrayed, even. She wasn't sure if he'd want to hear her voice ever again. But she wanted to hear his voice, just one last time. Amelia wasn't stupid, she knew that she wouldn't be able to talk to him, just as much as she knew that she could never return to Steve after everything that she'd done and everything that she would do.

But she needed that one last time. She needed to hear his voice and hear the way he said 'hello' as he picked up the phone. As stupid as it seemed, Amelia truly believed if she got to hear his voice one last time then maybe she'd be able to fully let go.

The number was already dialled into the phone before she'd made the decision. Amelia did a deep inhale, trying to calm down her shaking breaths and keep herself silent. She couldn't say anything to him, he couldn't know that it really was her, she had no doubt that if Rebecca did find out then she'd do something horrible.

The phone rang for a while, the seconds passing feeling like hours, she was sure he wasn't going to answer. But he did, and he immediately answered by saying her name. "Amelia?"

Though the brunette never thought she would, she despised the absence of hatred in his voice.

"Amelia, please say something," his voice urged, a desperate plea just like the ones Edmund had been making earlier. As she was reminded of the elderly man she'd just murdered, her heart felt like it was being constrained. It ached for Steve. No, it ached for last week, when things were easier, when she and Steve were together and happier and a bright future actually seemed possible. "Please," he continued to beg, forcing Amelia to put a hand over her mouth so she could stop any sob from escaping. He had no idea how much she wanted to cry out for him in that moment. But he couldn't save her this time, and Amelia knew she didn't deserve saving.

She pressed herself against the wall and slid down to the floor, putting her head in her hands. She knew she should have hung up, but Amelia _needed_ to hear his voice. She never wanted to forget it, and she'd realised that when they were together, she'd never paid enough attention to it.

"If this is you, Freckles, just give me a sign or something. Make a sound, please. Just- Just speak to me, please."

Oh god, she wanted to so badly. She even lifted her hand off of her mouth, even parted her lips, but the one thing Amelia couldn't do was force a sound out. The brunette looked up to the roof of Edmund's home, trying to blink away the tears that were forcing their way back.

After a few moments of silence, Steve spoke again, saying possibly the most hellacious thing he could. "I love you." But the way he said it, so sadly, like his throat was made of fragile glass. That's when she was sure of it, all loving her ever did to Steve was bring him pain.

"Whatever's happened, even if you did kill all of those people, I still love you." No, no, _no_. He was saying the wrong things. "And I can forgive you." _Stop_ , she urged silently. "If you come back home, we can work on fixing this again just like we did last time because we're a team. I don't care what the letter said or what your therapist's notes say, I know you, the real you. You wouldn't do this to me. So whatever is happening, we'll fix this." She felt it again, that emotion that had cursed her back when they'd first gotten acquainted, it was Steve's light tainting her again, making her _hope_.

"I'll fix this."

But he shouldn't have to. Back then, when she was younger, she didn't love Steve as much, she didn't put him first. But Amelia did then, and she knew that she couldn't allow herself to touch him anymore, physically or emotionally. Because in the end her darkness always won, and she didn't want him to become eclipse black like her, she wanted him to remain morning dawn light.

But just because she knew that she had to end it between them, that didn't stop it from hurting any less.

And there it was, Rebecca's next lesson for Amelia. 'Sometimes the person you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger', but in this case, she'd put the gun in Steve's hand and stepped in front of the barrel herself.

The pain of that moment crashed over her with the fury of midnight waves on a stormy night, tearing through her body and forcing a sob from her lips despite all the barriers she'd set up to keep herself silent. She knew Steve would have heard.

A mistake, she'd made a mistake. She'd gotten sloppy, allowed Amelia to take over when she should have just stayed AS09 because AS09 didn't need to hear Steve's voice, all she needed to hear was screams. She scrambled to get the phone away from her ear and hang up the call, body electrified into action as she feared what hope she might have given Steve in that moment. Her fingers just wouldn't work though, and her frustration grew because of it, black powers sparking from her fingers and tearing the phone into pieces of dust before her very eyes.

Tears burst from her like water from a dam, spilling down her face. She felt the muscles of her chin tremble like a small child and there was a static buzzing in her head. The sobs punched through, ripping through her muscles, bones, and gut. She tightened her hands, pushing her nails into the skin of her palm as far as she possibly could, the blood that leaked and the pain that erupted the punishment that Amelia needed. It all felt so raw, like she had been turned inside out. Everything had just collapsed.

And perhaps the worst thing of all, the one thing that made her torrents of grief and self-hatred even more powerful, wasn't that she'd killed, or that she'd relapsed, or that she'd realised how much of her darkness had tainted Steve's light, or that she'd just gone against Rebecca and rung Steve and possibly made a huge mistake. No, the worst thing of all, was that despite _everything,_ Amelia knew that if Steve appeared, arms open wide, she still run into them.

* * *

 **A/N: WHELP. That just happened. This was one of the chapters I didn't have planned but I figured it made sense to have you guys see how Amelia get's through killing again. It's the same as when she was a child, AS09 stepped up to be the killer and monster. But now she's just playing pretend.**

 **Sorry for there being no update yesterday, there might also be no update tomorrow. I've got a busy week.**

 **To Pitspee, I haven't thought about it to be honest, and I'm not really sure what she'd change her hair colour to. Maybe she'd go red like Nat's cause she really adores Nat's hair. I feel like she wouldn't suit blonde and after Milo's comment I don't think she'd ever want to go blonde. Idk, what colour do you think she should go?**

 **To SilverNightmares, that is such a great idea! Honestly, I'm ashamed I didn't think of that. But no, Rebecca's not that scientist.**

 **To LoveFiction2018, it's just deciding which one to do first, that's my issue.**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, I do not know of this Sherlock character but now I want to know. Pandora's box is something much more simple than the tesseract, but also much more destructive. And with the accords I agree with both the things you said, like she's sick of seeing death by this point but at the same time she's _done_ with people giving her orders. AND THANK YOU FOR SAYING AMELIA'S WELL DEVELOPED THAT MADE ME SO HAPPY THANK YOU!**

 **To Sam0728, sorry you had to wait a day!**

 **To FireflyDarkness, Aaron will definitely be helping someone :) AND THANK YOU FOR ALL THE KIND WORDS! I'm so sorry that right after you ask me for a couple of chapters, I skip a day of posting. I'm struggling at the moment to get chapters written just cause I've become unusually busy but I'm aiming to have a day where I write two, when I do that, I'll post you your two chapters as a thank you.**

 **To BrittStar1199, well done! And yus, Steve and Amelia are soulmates no one can convince me otherwise.**

 **To Unajet, thank you! There's plenty more plot twists to come! I can, however, confirm that Rebecca didn't put the bomb in the facility, and she actually has no idea how to create a bomb.**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, your guesses are pretty good (like, seriously, really good, extremely close) but I confirm nothing!**

 **To rosequartz121, thank youuuuuuuuuuu! Like seriously, you don't know how powerful your last sentence was to me so thank you so much!**

 **And a Brobdingnagian thank you to everyone that read the chapter!**


	59. Chapter Fifty-Six

**CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX**

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" _To know what a person has done, and to know who a person is, are very different things."_

― _**Hannah Kent**_

* * *

Amelia had not slept for the past three days, the last time she did sleep was when she was last with Steve. The night after he left, she got the letter from Steve and had instantly gone to rescue him. Then she met Rebecca, and left for Edmund's. Because Edmund was so far outside of New York unlike the rest of the ex-Hydra agents who'd worked on Pandora's Box, going to his had taken up the rest of day number one, and most of day two.

He was the first person she'd killed, the first one she'd tortured, the first sacrifice whose blood had been spilled in order to summon the monster that was AS09.

The third day had passed like a blur. For most of it, Amelia wasn't present, just AS09, which was why she struggled to remember most of the gory details. She was, however, left with the aftermath of all that had happened. The bloodied hands, the bloodied knives, and the codes. The numbers she had were '02', '06', '14' and '16', meaning there were two numbers left for her to retrieve. Tyler Brosen (whose real name was actually Walther Kass) was the last remaining agent that AS09 needed to sink her claws into, and then it would just be a case of figuring out what Alexander Pierce's two number code would be, though she already had a pretty good idea of what it could be.

Three days had passed. Which meant her birthday was only in two days.

Amelia didn't know how she was supposed to feel about that, after her first celebration the day actually had meaning to her though she wished it didn't. Amelia wished that she'd never even learnt that the damn day existed.

After terminating her fourth victim, Amelia had received a text from Rebecca telling her to go to a motel room. She'd obeyed immediately like a good little assassin, taking a taxi from an apartment in New York all the way to the outskirts of the city. Amelia knew that she had to obey orders, she couldn't have Rebecca getting suspicious, possibly snooping and finding out about the stupid phone call she'd done to Steve.

She couldn't stop the incessant pang of regret that made her head ache everytime she thought about the phone call she'd made. Amelia had done it in hopes that it would suit as a last goodbye for Steve but all it did was make her think that there was still hope that even after doing all that she had, even after all the blood she'd spilled, her and Steve could still be together.

And it had ideas going through her mind, bad ideas, ideas she knew she shouldn't be having if she wanted to keep her friends and family safe. Little plottings and plans of ways that she could get into contact with Steve and explain to him what was happening.

She knew she shouldn't though. The brunette knew that the price could be too high, and maybe Amelia was actually where she was exactly meant to be. Her own therapist, a person who knew the workings of her brain like a child's picture book, had decided that Amelia was always supposed to be a weapon. And maybe Rebecca was right. Maybe Steve had just been a lie. Her vision was so blurred with red that she couldn't be sure anymore.

The brunette was so lost in the vast intricacies of each thought, like an entire spider web tangled her brain, that she didn't even notice when a brown-suited doctor entered the motel room, moving from her own room next door.

Her room was small, fitting just a bed, a bathroom, and a small table with two chairs. The walls were a dark reddish-purple, like dried blood on flesh, Amelia mused. Or was it AS09 who thought that? She couldn't be so sure anymore. AS09 had been saving her once again, taking over when Amelia needed her to so that she couldn't remember all the gory things that she'd done, just like what she'd done when Amelia was first being forced to kill. Amelia still knew that it was her doing all the killing though, pretending to be AS09 just made it easier to actually commit the crimes.

"Amelia," the doctor chimed, dropping her blood red purse on to the table beside the door. She looked at the assasin expectantly but the dark brunette was staring vacantly at the wall ahead, seated on the very edge of her bed, her mind practically buzzing and her fingers pressed against her lips. "Amelia!" She called again, raising her voice and making the brunette jump up out of her seat into a domineering position, hands raised to attack.

When she saw that it was just Rebecca, she dropped her hands down and the blazing black faded from her fingers. "You shouldn't scare me like that," she warned, voice low, "who knows what I'd do to you."

She sniffed at the woman's attempt at a threat, turning her nose upward, uncaring, "yes, well you know what will happen to the Avengers if you do kill me,"

Amelia blinked at her doctor, a frown forming where her snarl had once been, "you'd be dead before you even got to make the call."

"Which is exactly why I've changed the way things work," Rebecca explained as she seated herself down in the uncomfortable plastic chair, the edge of it digging into her thighs. As she clarified, she also reached into her purse and pulled out the familiar phone that she'd been showcasing to Amelia earlier, "now I don't need to make the call to set off the bomb. Every thirty minutes I'll get a phone call from my man on the inside, if I don't answer then _he'll_ set off the bomb."

Amelia's cogs instantly begun to turn once more, the spider web she'd been pulling at thread by thread discarded momentarily as she thought up all the possible people that could be working for Rebecca. "Man on the inside?" There were the people she knew she could trust, Steve, Tony, Thor, Nat, Vision, Wanda, Aaron, and then there was everyone else. So many nameless agents went in and out of the facility every day that there was no way for her to know everyone.

They'd gotten cocky, she supposed, there was no other way that they'd be able to put a bomb in the facility otherwise. Tony had promised that it was secure. But they'd all believed too much that they were untouchable and that was the reason someone had managed to stick a bomb in the facility, because they'd been too confident that no one would even try.

"The person who helped me set up the bomb, of course," the doctor stated, confirming Amelia's suspicions but not giving her any other information that could help her narrow down exactly _who_ it was. She placed the phone down by her side and turned her body so that she would be fully facing Amelia, she clapped her hands together, "now, let's get down to business, you were told about some codes?"

Sighing, Amelia shuffled further back on her bed so that she could sit comfortably. They'd shared a phone call every time she'd finished killing an agent, and during each one she'd repeat all that she knew as well as sharing anything new she'd learnt but that rarely happened. The codes were really the only thing she'd learnt. And they had just gotten harder to get out of her victims, the other three she'd killed had been much younger, more durable, and they'd proven it by keeping their lips tightly sealed. But AS09 was talented when it came to making people bleed, and soon enough she'd gotten their secrets bleeding out of them as well. "Yes, the codes to unlock Pandora's box, I have four so far," she then proceeded to repeat all the codes that she'd gotten, "02, 06, 14 and 16."

From her purse, she took out the notebook she normally used during their sessions, a simple journalist notepad that she scrippled her way through, not really even keeping in the lines. In Rebecca's cursive handwriting she wrote down all the codes Amelia gave her. "And how many are there in total?"

"Six."

Her eyebrows scrunched together as she could only remember the five agents she'd sent Amelia to torture for information, "six? Oh, right, Alexander also worked on the project. I suppose that's why we needed you."

"We?" Amelia was curious about the way that she phrased that word, like it wasn't just her and a partner but someone else. It made her wonder just how many enemies she was truly facing.

But Rebecca just smiled at the brunette's curiosity, amused by it even. It was a smile Amelia had grown to hate even more than the smile Alexander would have on his face, it was similar to his in a way, only ever growing when she did something he ordered. But with Rebecca it was like she'd wandered into her trap, saying exactly what Rebecca thought she would or doing something Rebecca knew she would. It was even more frustrating when Amelia was trying to figure out ways to reach Steve, it made her feel even more unsafe to do so.

Amelia had seen that exact same look on Rebecca's face when she walked into the warehouse and revealed that she was the mastermind behind Steve's kidnapping. Rebecca had wanted Amelia to kill all of those punks and the assassin could understand why. It was the wake-up call she'd needed in order to do the rest of her slaying. The first drop of blood that had to be spilt so that Amelia could see the beauty in red once again. And it was also something to keep her from returning to Steve, that was another point she had to add to her spider web. Rebecca didn't want her going back to Steve because she knows they'd be able to put a stop to her plottings.

"Do you know what his code is?" Rebecca asked further, changing the conversation back on to the more important subject, at least in her eyes anyway. Amelia remained silent, even underneath Rebecca's watchful gaze. Seeing the brunette's apprehension at giving her an answer, she placed her pen down on top of her notebook, turning more serious, "if this doesn't work out then you know what will happen, so do you know the code?"

The more the doctor threatened, the more assured the assassin became that she would slaughter Rebecca once everything was over, and she wouldn't do it as AS09 either. "I have a guess, but there's no way of knowing," Amelia didn't lie to her, knowing if she did that Rebecca would probably figure it out somehow, after all, she was a specialist on the inner workings of people's minds. But she made sure not to tell her exactly what the guesses were, hoping that she'd somehow figure out a way to stop Rebecca getting the weapon.

Thankfully Rebecca accepted what she'd been given, possibly trusting Amelia too much after having the assassin be so obeying. She picked up her pen again, scrawling down more notes, "and a location, we also need that."

Amelia nodded in agreement. The location of Pandora's box hadn't become any clearer since Edmund had given her some clues. That was what she'd initially been thinking about before thoughts of Steve rose up in her mind. "SHIELD took the weapon after Hydra fell, I have a pretty good idea of where most of their warehouses are after that year with Steve hunting down Bucky," she spoke her mind, the same way she'd once done during their therapy sessions, "it's a simple process of elimination. It seems to be a pretty big deal so it will be at one of the harder to reach warehouses with a lot of security, that narrows it down to three."

Rebecca pursed her lips as she mused, "and all the Hydra agents that worked on Pandora's box live in New York, does that narrow it down as well?"

They'd worked as a team, which had felt unusual for the both of them considering the conditions, it worked as another reminder for the both of them that their friendship had once been real.

Her eyebrows rose up her forehead, not having taken into consideration where the agents had retired as correlating with where the Pandora's box was hidden but it actually made quite a bit of sense. If it was really such a terrifying weapon, and if they were really the only ones who could access it, then they'd want to make sure they were near it if it ever became needed. "Yes," she answered, "to one actually."

"Great, so now all we need is the next code," the doctor made a note that they had the location, finishing up with her notepad and putting it back in her purse, letting Amelia know that their 'session' had come to an end. "You've got the address," Amelia wasn't sure whether it was a statement or a question but she still nodded her head, Rebecca returned it with a short, curt, nod of her own,"I expect you to be back by tonight."

"Are you going to let me eat and sleep at any point? Even Hydra let me." She'd purposely mentioned Hydra, knowing from a passing comment that Rebecca seemed to hold a distaste towards the organisation, almost as much as her.

As expected, Rebecca formed a satisfying glower. But the doctor didn't jump at the chance to make a snappy remark like Amelia would have, maintaining her serene nature and actually giving Amelia a proper answer to her question. "Once you get the last code, sure, I'll buy you a burger."

"You know, as a doctor, I thought you'd know better. A person needs sleep and food to be able to function," but not her, she'd been trained to work at full efficiency even in the worst of circumstances. What Amelia really wanted was time to _think_.

"I'm doing a lot of things that go against my job right now," Rebecca returned with, showing that she wasn't going to cave into Amelia's guilt trip. She was in charge and her orders were final. It was something the assassin clearly needed to learn but Rebecca was aware that she'd always struggled when it came to taking orders, that was why the pit was such a necessary utility for Hydra.

It was Amelia's own darkness that scared her the most, and she'd discover it every time in the pit, and then she'd run from it. She'd run from it by killing and taking the light from others because never could she have her own. But Rebecca knew that the pit wouldn't work anymore because she did have a light in her life then, she had family and friends and love and laughter, she had Steve. But because she had that light in her life, that meant Amelia had something to lose. And that was exactly what Rebecca planned to utilise in order to ensure Amelia's obedience.

"You're still using it to your advantage though, using everything we talked about in our sessions against me," the brunette countered coolly.

"Oh, please. You were created and raised to be a weapon, I'm just utilising that," Rebecca huffed back, finally biting back to one of Amelia's cattish maligns, managing to remain calm but Amelia could see that rewarding flash of malice in Rebecca's grey eyes, "whatever made you think you could possibly be anything else?"

She jumped at the challenge, sitting up even higher and her eyes turned into slits, "I'd rather be useless than hurt anyone else ever again."

"I know, but the thing about weapons is that they're designed to be used. You don't have a choice. It's not your fault," the way that Rebecca cooed her insult was like she was speaking to a child who was far too old to believe in Santa anymore, and rather than hating it, Amelia charged herself with it, she inhaled it like oxygen because she was anything but an innocent child.

She was a raven-winged monster that goes bump in the night, she had a loaded gun as a smile, the taste of death permeated on her wicked tongue but it wasn't the only taste that she knew too well. Blood, rust, war, were all the flavours she needed. Her teeth were all she'd need to carve her way through Rebecca and she would, oh, she _would_.

"No, it's _yours_." Her words were not an argument, a vocalisation of her detest, they were her promise to Rebecca that she would _pay_ for bringing forth that side of her again. AS09 should have been left to rest. Rebecca should have let her rest.

But Amelia could still remember that it didn't have to be that way. It was that part of Steve in her she supposed, the part of her that gave sympathy and mercy like candy on Halloween but only to those she was close to. Amelia still doubted her ability to look at a stranger that she knew had committed sins and still offer out a chance like a beacon of light. "You still haven't told me, why me? And why like this? If you'd just asked-"

"No, Amelia, if you'd just asked!" There it was, that break in serenity like a crack on porcelain, making it very clear that she had missed something, something clearly very important. Amelia recovered as quickly as she could, pulling her anger in as though it were as simple as pulling a string, "it doesn't matter, just do your job."

"Fine." Amelia huffed, full of so many questions, "I hope you know though, if you'd just _asked_ me for help-"

"You clearly thought we were better friends than we actually were," again Rebecca interrupted, tired of their conversation and just wanting the assassin to obey her orders again, she moved her hand closer to the phone on the table, a visual warning to Amelia that anymore defiance would have results.

Amelia stood up, also done with their conversation. Rebecca would pay, and that was down to her, not Amelia. "Clearly…" She sighed, wasting no more time as she left the motel room onto her next mission, knowing full well that _one day_ she would be revisiting Rebecca and bringing with her ruination.

And that was the exact reason why Amelia couldn't decide whether or not to return to Steve, whether to be selfish, whether to taint Steve's light with more of her black heart.

* * *

 **A/N: I'm sorry that this is such a shit chapter but I feel like you guys need to see how Amelia and Rebecca work together, y'know? I just wrote chapter 59 which was unexpected, I didn't plan on writing anything when I got home cause it's so late but it just kind of poured out of me and I hope you guys like it and don't think I've messed up the MCU too much with what I've done! I can't say anything more than that I'm afraid. You'll find out what the change I've made is next chapter.**

 **Any guesses on what the codes are/mean? I'll probably tell you guys what they are because it ain't any big secret, it just makes the last code even more important. I'll probably tell you guys after chapter 58 just because that's when everything's clearer.**

 **To LoveFiction2018, thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it ^^**

 **To Unajet, my aim with the chapter before this was for there to be no real good or bad until the end, it was completely up to the readers to decide who was the villain. I hope that came across. And yes, I hope you guys get a better idea of everything once you see Amelia's POV during that particular chapter.**

 **To FireflyDarkness, I'm sorry! I realised after posting it that I didn't put a summary at the bottom for people who couldn't read it! And I'm afraid there isn't many Steve/Aaron moments after this, though Steve will wish for one. And idk man, overactive imaginations can sometimes make a lot of sense.**

 **To BrittStar1199, ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º)**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, I know this sounds cruel, but I'm glad it was heartbreaking and I'm glad you got to see both POV's. I wanted to try and make it possible for people to see Amelia as a villain in that chapter because what she did was BAD, but also Edward is bad. Thank you for calling my writing beautiful, you have a beautiful soul!**

 **To Pitspee, it's already pretty much black. It's the same shade as like early days Iron Man, like really dark brown. AND I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU. That is the exact hairstyle I first imagined Amelia with because damn is it sexy. And again I agree with you because Nat's IR2 hair is my goals. I hope hair colour ideas helped distract you enough!**

 **And a big thanks to everyone that read the chapter, again, sorry it's so lame! More things happen in the next one! And then even more stuff happens in the one after that! And then you won't BELIEVE what happens in the one after that one! And I'm afraid that's as far as I've gotten with writing, but my plan tells me that the one after that one is the one we're all waiting for. If that even makes sense...**


	60. Chapter Fifty-Seven

**CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN**

* * *

" _Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."_

― _**Mark Twain**_

* * *

AS09 eased her way inside her next victim's window having ensured that no one was inside the bedroom she entered. Tyler Brosen, the last person on her list of people to kill, the holder of the last code number she needed to get.

The room that she entered was a stereotypical old person room, at least from what she'd learnt anyway. Though dusted by dusk, the yellows, greens, creams and browns of the room were glaringly obvious, every piece of furniture some sort of oak and anywhere there could be, there was a flower pattern. On the walls, on the curtains, on the bedding. It made her feel almost sick at the sight of the pattern, and yet, it was something she wanted at the same time.

Amelia wanted to grow old with Steve and have her own little home full of flower patterns and far too many wooden furnishings, the cliche seemed to encompass such a comfortable lifestyle. But she couldn't concentrate on that, she needed to put Steve to the back of her mind so that she could pretend to be AS09.

She tried to keep her steps quick and stealthy, very aware of each creak that came from the wooden boards beneath her feet as she exited the empty bedroom, down a staircase, and into a long hallway. The hallway had four doors in total, one of them was the main entrance and exit to the home and the rest of them _would_ have remained a mystery had AS09 not retrieved the plans of the building from the landlord before arriving. She knew where each door led, and rather than exploring the bathroom or the kitchen, she went straight for the front room.

Trying to keep herself quiet, she wasted a lot of time gradually twisting the doorknob, steadily pushing the door open and revealing another room that smelt heavily of polished wood. She searched the room as she pushed open the door, first seeing a large, wall-length, bookshelf that was filled entirely was a multitude of books. Such a large collection that Amelia was sure even if she dedicated the rest of her entire life, she'd still never manage to finish them.

Delving deeper into the room, there was an orange glow that she'd first thought was coming from a window but it turned out that it was actually coming from a lamp. In the middle of the room were two couches, and in between them was a table with a lamp on it. It had been switched on. Illuminating the room, the light reflecting on two short glasses, one of which looked to have water inside, set beside a folded piece of paper, and revealing one white-haired man sat up straight in an armchair.

Tyler. Just the man she'd been looking for.

Believing that he'd just fallen asleep in his chair, she delved further into the room, not at all prepared for when Tyler easily turned his head, spotted her, and looked directly in the eyes. "You could have just entered through the door," he huffed, turning back around and grabbing a hold of his drink, though from the way he pursed his lips after taking a sip from the glass showed that it wasn't just water, "I hope you didn't break anything on your way into here, once you kill me you're going to put my wife in a lot of debt, she'll need to sell a lot of my stuff."

Amelia tried to remain calm, collected, tried to keep her face empty of all emotion as well as her movements. She moved over towards the bookcase that filled the entirety of the wall to Tyler's right, dragging her fingers across the spines of the books. "Is your wife here?" She asked, mask remaining uncracked at the news that he had a family.

So had Edmund, in fact, Edmund was the hardest person she'd ever had to kill considering how vulnerable he'd been, being both blind, elderly and having a family. All the morals she'd learnt were screaming at Amelia to never hurt him. But that was Amelia, AS09 didn't possess those kinds of morals that would end up getting in the way.

"No, I treated her to a spa day at a hotel with her sister. I know it's cruel to make her feel so happy when I also know what she'll return to… but I'd rather she be safe. She isn't a part of Hydra, she doesn't deserve to be haunted by their evil." He finished the rest of his drink, eyes staying on the window across from him as AS09 circled around his chair. He thought for a second that she was going to seat herself down in the armchair beside him, the chair that his wife usually sat in, but instead she went over to the window and searched the outside.

The street was empty, the only other illuminations coming from the homes of the rest of the people that lived in the attached houses.

"You know why I'm here then," she mused, black eyes turning from the dark outside onto Tyler. He wasn't as old as Edmund, but his wrinkles told Amelia that he'd still at least lived a full life. His hair was white and copious, falling tendrils getting in the way of his eyes and matting to his sweat-slicked forehead.

Tyler nodded his head as he reached underneath his table to grasp a large glass bottle of vodka, refilling his cup and the other one for Amelia. "I got alerted this morning that everyone else that worked on Pandora's box has been terminated, I knew it was only a matter of time before you got to me," he put down the bottle of vodka, grabbed the folded piece of paper, and held it out to the brunette, "this is the code, as well as the location, and I'll tell you anything else you need to know."

Her eyes turned to slits as she prudently stepped closer to him, still maintaining quite a distance as she grabbed the piece of paper. She opened it up, reading the number on the paper which was '64'.

Amelia believed that he really had given her the code for Pandora's box, she just didn't really believe that he had pure intentions, "but you want something in return."

Again, Tyler nodded, acting as though they were making some sort of business trade, rather than talking about the terms in which AS09 terminate him. "Don't slaughter me like an animal, like you did to the other agents," he requested, taking one more sip of his drink, "make it look like I died of natural causes, falling down the stairs or something. My wife will be able to handle that at least."

"You're not going to bargain for your life?" She questioned further, clearly surprised that he was actually asking for her to kill him.

"Is that what the others did?" Tyler asked in return, raising an eyebrow and even smiling, "ha. Idiots. They should know better, the things we did for Hydra were always going to come bite us back in the arse. We literally designed Pandora's box _knowing_ this day would come."

AS09 moved to finally sit beside Tyler, body half facing him and she reached for her own glass of vodka, still believing that it was water, she hadn't expected the powerful taste that burnt both her tongue and throat as she swallowed it down. It reminded her of the revels she'd had with her family after retrieving Loki's sceptre, though she'd been too inebriated to remember most of the drinks she'd tried out, Amelia could clearly remember the burn of vodka, having done a shot of one with her brother.

She immediately put the drink down, pushing it aside and doubting she'd delve over to it ever again. "Still, you know how I'm supposed to do these things," she replied, sure that Tyler had done many of the things that she had and would know the things she'd been taught, "torture a little, speak a little, then kill. You're asking me to skip the best part."

"I'm not asking you," he easily responded back, continuing to be unperturbed with her threats, "right now, you're AS09, the person I'm asking is Amelia Stark."

It had been a surprise to hear him talk about the differences. It had been a surprise that he'd even been able to see the differences. AS09 kept her cool though, unconcerned by Tyler's knowledge of her own life. The gaze she trapped him in were like daggers pinning his clothes down, he wouldn't escape her so easily, and he certainly wouldn't bring her down with the use of a name. But rather than being perturbed by the callous gaze, he returned it with one of his own, wearing the same kind of mask that she did.

"She's unavailable right now," her words were tinged with bitterness.

"Bullshit," he denied, beginning to point his large, square, finger in her direction, "I've been keeping tabs on you your entire life, I admit at first it was because I was curious to see your transformation from child to weapon. But even after I left Hydra, I kept myself informed of your progress-"

"Is that supposed to make me care about you? Because you checked up on me every now and again to make sure I was okay? I was never okay. The moment Hydra kidnapped me I wasn't okay. You didn't do anything to help save me, keeping tabs doesn't mean shit when you still let them taint me." Emotions shone freely through her tone as she sat straighter up in her chair, easily becoming defensive at his words, at the way he started to insinuate that he knew her from whatever bundle of information he'd been repeatedly given. Only Steve knew her, really knew her. There was absolutely no way that she'd let him use her dark past in order to bargain for his life. She was sick and tired of people using her past to control her mind.

He waited patiently for her to finish, ice clinking against his glass as he raised it to his lips, only pulling it away once she was done with her quarrel and frowning down at him. But there was no need for her anger, not from his point-of-view. "Which is why I'm letting you kill me," he explained, sighing, trying to convey to the angry assassin the guilt that he'd sewn into his own shoulders, "because I've done terrible, horrible, things, and you're just the tip of the iceberg, Amelia."

"Don't call me that," she snapped back, her anger having subsided but her hatred festering. AS09 knew that it wasn't hatred for him though.

"Why? That's your name, isn't it? Or is it easier to pretend that you're the weapon they made you to be?" His questions were all rhetorical and the answers were all obvious, because Tyler _knew_ what it was like, he'd already gone down the road Amelia was currently wandering in his own lifetime, that became clearer the more he spoke to her. His words so intense, and so on point, it was impossible for him to know such things unless he'd also walked the same scorched path. "Because that's what you're doing, isn't it? Pretending. Because you got out, last I heard you were all loved up with Captain America, saving people." Yes. That was what she had been doing, and it had been great. "So what happened, Amelia?"

"What always happens."

"They pulled you back in," he nodded his head gravely, understanding her point. It had taken him ten years to fully get out of Hydra, and even still, Amelia had come to carry out what Tyler had presumed was a Hydra mission.

Noticing the seldom expression on his face, she realised that he'd confused one particular point of her backstory. "No, it wasn't Hydra. Someone from SHIELD, actually,"

His eyes widened, bushy grey eyebrows reaching his hairline, "what? Then why would they want Pandora's box?"

"Well, why would Hydra want Pandora's box?" The brunette cocked her head to the side, becoming even more curious as to what Pandora's box actually was. All the things she'd heard so far led her to believe it was a destructive weapon with horrendous capabilities, much like her. And just as Rebecca used her, Amelia supposed that Rebecca also wanted to use Pandora's box to perform her evil biddings. But perhaps that wasn't the case after all, which was slightly frustrating for Amelia as she thought she'd managed to get a hold on Rebecca's plans.

"To destroy it," he responded, voice implying that it should have been obvious but by the confusion that remained on her face Tyler was starting to learn that perhaps Amelia wasn't as in the know as he'd first perceived.

"Why would Hydra want to destroy their own weapon?" She asked, worried that perhaps Tyler wouldn't give her the information after learning that she didn't already know it but thankfully he was quick to respond.

"Because we made it as a fail-safe, it's the only possible way to bring down all of Hydra," as he spoke, he moved his hands around, implying some sort of explosion. He leaned back in his seat, staring off into the distance as though he'd just watched his entire life transform before his eyes, "knowing that it's actually going to be used changes things."

"You don't want to die anymore?" Amelia didn't know if she could give him that. Though, the man had gotten through to her, he was still someone Rebecca expected her to kill. He was still a mission and if she failed then the consequences were dire.

"No. I know there's no way for me to escape that, I'm just glad my death can have meaning. After all the bad I've done to this world, I'm glad the last thing I ever do will be something good." His words had a softness to them that coated Amelia's heart tightly.

That. That was how she wanted to go out, not doing something dreadful, but rather, something inspiring and soft, something that left a flame in the world that didn't consume but brightened the world for others like a star.

"I don't get it though," despite her earlier reservations, Amelia picked up the glass of vodka and took a large sip, needing the liquid courage as her situation and the mystery surrounding Pandora's box became more elusive, "why would Alexander allow you to make something that had the potential to destroy Hydra?"

"Because there had to be something, even if it's just one thing. It's Hydra's self-destruct button. Only to be pressed in emergencies," Tyler clarified.

"And you never thought to press it yourself? It looks like you've got quite the chip on your shoulder for Hydra."

"If you press the button, if you open Pandora's box, it isn't just Hydra that will fall."

Again, what he said made sense. Though Amelia's upbringing in Hydra had been quite isolated, she had learnt during her time with Steve just how many tentacles Hydra had in multiple cookie jars. They'd managed to cut off some on their journeys, and she knew that Fury had also been working on taking down as many Hydra heads as he could before Ultron. But none of them had succeeded in completely eradicating Hydra and perhaps that was because if they did then other things would be eradicated too. Hydra wasn't just a bunch of soldiers on the wrong side of a war. Hydra was dirty politicians and celebrities and family members and bricks among bricks on a wall that helped keep the world running.

"And I got out," Tyler added, once again looking to Amelia so she'd know his words were also for her, "which meant having absolutely nothing to do with Hydra ever again. For the past five years it's just been me and my wife, Angie." He smiled, wide, crows feet appearing beside his eyes that were drowning in adoration the second he mentioned his wife. It was the kind of look she hoped people saw on her face whenever she spoke about Steve. It faded momentarily as he looked at the brunette, seemingly internally struggling with something. Eventually, he opened his mouth, speaking out his thoughts, "Amelia, I know it may not be my place to say this, considering who I am and what I've done, but don't fall down the hole again."

"You're right, it isn't your place," the assassin scoffed, but he knew that she was only really pushing him away because he had a point. Of course he knew, because he'd been just like her at one point and he'd spent a lot of his time on earth pushing away people that had valid points about Hydra being evil. It was hard to trust a world that you knew was so tainted and he'd hoped that the experiment would find solace in having another person that shared her point of view. He hoped he could save her from the darkness before it was too late. He hoped he wasn't already too late.

"I understand better than most what it's like," he reminded her, "you feel like your sins are like flesh wounds that never heal, that you're some horror to look at, that everyone you touch ends up covered in red. But it isn't like that at all. Once you leave Hydra, that's what you get to see, that there's love, and that you're worthy of it." It didn't surprise her anymore when Tyler said something that she related to with her entire soul. She looked at him wide-eyed and vulnerable, needing to hear his wisdom because he was right but he was also wrong and she was so confused on whether or not she could ever return to Steve and he was the only person who seemed to understand her situation enough to give her the right answer.

Tyler saw that look, and he gave her what he wanted, putting his glass down and turning his entire body around so that he could speak to her with full earnest. "Whatever, or whoever, has dragged you back in. Don't let them win. Don't let them blind you to that love again."

"But what if it's too late?" Her voice cracked, her brave facade cracked, and she felt her heart crack as well because even though Tyler was a complete stranger, she needed an answer and who better to get an answer from than somebody who'd already been through the same kind of situation. She was laying her entire self open and bare for the ex-hydra agent. "What if you've already lost yourself, or the person that they loved, because you've been dragged too far?"

"So you've killed again, I promise you it doesn't matter. It won't change their love for you. You've always had that red on you, and they still loved you then," He continued to speak with his hands, slapping them down on the seat though Amelia didn't mind so much as the movements seemed to enunciate the passion behind his every word, "the only thing that's changed is that you've now got them in your life, you've got your reason to not fall back into the darkness. So do what you have to do, but only what you have to do. Don't risk losing them, because it will _never_ be worth it."

Feeling choked, she got up out of his wife's chair and made her way over to the window again, pretending to itch at her eyes when really she was wiping away tears. She had her answer, and she had a plan that the brunette finally felt courageous enough to go through with.

The next thing she needed to figure out was what to do with Tyler. He'd given her so much from her little visit, and she knew there was a way to make his wish become a reality. He'd drunk a lot of vodka already, all she'd have to do was shove him down the staircase and make sure it looked like he had slipped. It was simple. All she'd really have to do was put scuff marks at the top of the stairs to show where he'd fallen.

"Your wife, when is she getting back?" Amelia turned around to face Tyler once more, watching as the elder man finished his drink of vodka.

He put the empty glass down on the table, making no move to fill it again. It was time. "It's okay, she won't be back until tomorrow morning."

"Then get all your money, pack all your shit, and disappear." She ordered, being quick and emotionless with her words. She didn't want it to be made into a big deal because they both had much more important things to concentrate on, for Tyler, it was getting out of the city as fast as possible. She moved back over, retrieving the piece of paper that held the code number on it. Before leaving, she stopped and gave Tyler one last warning, "Don't make me regret letting you live, because I'm putting the people I love on the line by doing so." She trusted him to only need that for motivation, not actually threatening him with her words but making sure that he knew if he made a mistake and killed her family because of it, then there would be no shadow dark enough to hide him from her vengeance.

"What will you do?" He responded calmly, making no move to argue with her decision. He'd spent a lot of years learning not to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"I'm going to fight for the people I love."

* * *

The hospital standing tall before Amelia wasn't all that familiar and it had taken her quite a bit to find it but that didn't matter in the end because _she'd found it_. She was so close to being able to communicate with Steve again, she just needed to be smart with how she went ahead with her plan. It wasn't going to be easy.

As she took two steps forward, almost at the entrance of the hospital, the phone in the back pocket of her skinny jeans began to ring. She'd long ago abandoned her leather jacket, leaving it in her motel room where it would dwell until all her missions were over because Amelia was incapable of killing whilst wearing it, the jacket weighing far too much on her guilty conscious as a reminder of the life she'd once had at Amelia Stark. A life she now knew, thanks to Tyler Brosen, was still available to her.

Being as quick as she could as to appease the person she knew would be calling her, she pulled the phone from her pocket and answered the call, pressing the phone to her ear and with as much positivity as she could possibly throw out, greeting Rebecca, "hello _Becky_!"

It was a low and, even for Amelia, weak, blow. Her doctor had stated during their tenth therapy session that she didn't like it when people shortened her name and Amelia had made sure never to do it, until that day.

There was silence on the other end of the phone as Rebecca seemingly took in Amelia's insult.

"You're at a hospital, why?" Rebecca words were kept short and snappy.

"The last dude, Tyler, he managed to nip me with a knife. He didn't get anything important, but I want to get some antibiotics and painkillers just in case," she gave her explanation in a bored tone, knowing that if she went into too much detail then Rebecca would probably be able to guess that she was making something up. "I won't be long."

Rebecca did seem to think over Amelia's excuse, taking a while as well, making sure that she put Amelia on the edge of her seat. "Did you get the code?"

"64," she revealed, beginning to tap her foot on the pavement impatiently, "can I go now? I'm sort of making a scene bleeding on the pavement."

"Alright," she sniffed, "hurry back up."

"Yes, sir," Amelia made sure to get in one more sly backhanded commented as she hung up the phone.

She took the first few steps up to the hospital doorway. From there it became a challenge of hiding whilst being unhidden, it was a trick she'd been taught by Steve and Natasha when they were being chased by Hydra. She made sure to walk along big crowds, sticking close to people and keeping her head down in case there were any agents around that would recognise her from the visit she'd done a few days earlier with her soldier.

She made it to the room she was aiming for, standing in the waiting room close to the doorway and waiting for the right time to actually enter the room. The brunette kept her eyes flickering from nurse to nurse, waiting with baited breath for when they'd get distracted. The two nurses at the reception close by starting conversing over some patients file and that was when she chose to make a break for it.

Amelia opened the door to Peggy's room only partially, shuffling her body in as quietly as she could before shutting it once again.

Peggy Carter was laid in bed sound asleep, her body constantly feeling worn out as her brain tried to figure out where she was, memories too fuzzy to get information from. She was completely unaware of the approaching assassin inhaling and exhaling deep gusts of air, lifting her hands and gently pressing them against her forehead.

What Amelia planned to do was another thing with her powers that she'd rarely practised, which seemed to have become the norm for her when it came to using the many capabilities of her cosmic powers. In that particular moment, she was going to do something entirely new, Amelia was going to take away Peggy's alzheimers.

She knew that she could heal people from the story Steve had told her, about what she'd done in 2012, and she also knew that she could take away people's pain after doing so with Charles Spencer. Amelia believed that she could really heal people, it just took a lot of power and a lot of energy. She'd been practising here and there, ever since Pietro passed away and she couldn't bring him back; At first Amelia was simply bringing life to a mouldy apple, and then she started creating wounds on herself and healing them. She hadn't told any of her friends because she didn't know for sure if she'd be able to do it, but Amelia didn't really have an option then, not if she wanted her plan to work.

Peggy was the only person Amelia could have access to that also had access to Steve. Rebecca wouldn't know anything about her because Amelia didn't ever get a chance to discuss her thoughts and feelings on meeting the war veteran seen as they only met _after_ she'd stopped her therapy sessions.

But for the plan to even get a chance to work, she needed Peggy to remember everything she told her.

The brunette wasn't exactly sure what it would do to Peggy if she healed her brain, whether she'd remember everything, including meeting her and Steve, or if perhaps Peggy would become a blank slate again. She hoped for the former and Amelia pushed that hope into Peggy as she began to push her powers into her.

Amelia closed her eyes as she did so, imagining Steve's blue eyes to help keep her calm. If she had opened her eyes though, then she would have noticed that for the first time since her soldier's kidnapping, her powers had turned white once again.

Time seemed to disappear altogether as Amelia worked her way through Peggy's mind, able to picture the black spots among the soldier's brain and whenever she noticed one, Amelia would fill it with light, urging her powers to fix all those spots the same way that they'd fix wounds on her own body. Even when she was done filling in all the black spots with light, Amelia remained inside Peggy's mind, getting lost in all the images of Steve that marked her memories. There was also images of Steve before the super serum, when he was smaller, weaker, even then he managed to make Amelia's heart race in her chest.

"Amelia?" At first, she thought it was Steve that had said her name, so lost in all the memories she could possibly find inside of Peggy's mind but as the voice repeated her name, she realised it was much more feminine and aged.

Her eyes flashed open widely as they connected with brown eyes, not dark and copious like her own, no, Peggy's eyes were the type of brown that was like a sweet chocolate. The kind of chocolate that melts at the slightest bit of heat from love, or happiness. Like an entire forest lit up by summer, not one that had been left naked through the harshest of winters, not like Amelia's eyes.

The gaze that Amelia found herself trapped in, a purity the likes of which she'd missed seeing dearly, broke through all of the walls she'd had to build because of Rebecca and before the brunette knew what she was doing, she'd dropped her hands from Peggy's forehead and kneeled down at her bedside, hands joining together as though she was praying to the elderly woman beside her.

"Peggy," a sob wracked her body and tears fell freely, all the burdening emotions from the past few days flying freely from the open door on the cage AS09 and Amelia had had to force them inside of, "I broke my promise, I'm so sorry."

"I- It's okay," Peggy tried to console the broken woman at her bedside, pressing her hand on top of the girls head and stroking her fingers through the messy dark waves. She was confused of course, but Peggy tried to ignore that as best she could in order to comfort Amelia. "It's okay," she repeated but Amelia just shook her head, wiping her snot and tears on the bed, inconsolable.

"It's not okay, nothing's okay."

* * *

 **A/N: You know that fucking annoying ass moment when you finish writing the author's note and replying to everyone's comments and then your computer freezes without saving the document? Yeah. Bloody love that.**

 **I can't even remember what I bloody wrote. I'm so mad rn.**

 **Anway.**

 **The change I told you guys I'd be making has been revealed, Amelia has cured Peggy's Alzheimers. She didn't cure her of old age though, didn't make her immortal.**

 **To Sam0728, I'm sorry that my villain and your sister have the same name, it was an accident I swear!**

 **To Unajet, the plot thickens even more in this chap! Hopefully you got some answers for your questions in it.**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, of course not! I want Rebecca to pay. And she will. Just not in the way everyone probably thinks.**

 **To The Observer 2.O, I made a really good pun that was also a huge clue but I've totally forgotten it so have a vastly inferior one: we just need to look at the bigger picture. There. It's also worth mentioning that Rebecca will be wanting to paint Amelia as a villain in her own mind so for things that might be clear for her, she's ignoring that they won't be so clear for someone like Amelia.**

 **To BrittStar1199, be careful what you wish for!**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, thank you! And yes we will be getting more Steve POV, chapter fifty-nine is from his POV and we get some of his POV in chapter sixty :)**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, glad to hear it wasn't boring! The good news is that most of your questions will get answered in the next chapter so hopefully things will start to make a little bit more sense. Though, her inside man/lady will remain a mystery for a bit longer.**

 **And a big thank you to everyone that read the chapter!**


	61. Chapter Fifty-Eight

**CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT**

* * *

" _If darkness is really not darkness at all, but rather, the absence of light, then my flaws are not really flaws at all, but rather, the absence of you."_

― _**Christopher Poindexter**_

* * *

"Wake up," the yell stirred Amelia out of her sleep immediately, causing her entire body to jump up and she stared wide-eyed at Rebecca, her heart beating out of her chest. The therapist seemed non-surplussed, chucking down packaged food onto the table inside her motel room and sitting down in one of the chairs. "I brought you some food," she gestured with her finger towards the two food items she'd brought the assassin, a packet of crisps and a sandwich that both looked like they came from a vending machine.

Amelia stared at the food but her attention was elsewhere, lost in the blurred memories of last night that were too foggy for her to piece anything from. The last thing she could remember was going to Peggy's, after that she was struggling to remember anything.

Bits and pieces came through. Her current location told her that she'd somehow managed to make it back to the motel from the hospital, she just struggled with remembering what happened between her getting from point A to point B.

In a much calmer fashion than how she'd woken up, she eased herself out of the bed and into the other chair across from Rebecca. The chair felt just as stiff and as hard as the bed had, not doing anything to ease Amelia's aching bones. She grabbed a hold of the sandwich first, inspecting it with a look of disgust on her lips, "you said you'd bring me a burger," she mumbled. It was an egg mayonnaise sandwich, the grossest option Rebecca could clearly pick.

"I lied. Again." The doctor excused apathetically, "what time did you get back last night?"

"I-" Amelia brought up her hand, pressing it against her forehead as she forced the mist disguising her memories to go away, an ache beginning to pulsate right behind her eyes which she screwed shut from the agony. "I don't know…"

Despite the pain, she pushed. Finding the black spots in her mind and filling them with light until everything began to connect. She'd left Peggy's room after healing her Alzheimer's. That's right. Maybe she hadn't healed it, but rather, taken on the Alzheimer's like she'd taken on Charles pain. Which meant, if she was experiencing memory loss, that she'd healed Peggy. Clearly the effects were fading, her body healing itself, and old memories reinventing themselves in her head.

She had gone back to the motel. She'd walked. "It was late…" The brunette recalled, still rubbing her hand on her forehead, blind to the confused expression bending Rebecca's features. She'd gotten back to the motel and she was going to go to speak to Rebecca, let her know that she'd returned, but Rebecca was in her motel with someone else. Amelia looked up from her hands, fixing the doctor beneath an inquisitive stare, "you were busy talking with someone in your room so I went straight to mine."

Amelia had stood outside of Rebecca's door for a minute, trying to listen into what they'd been talking about but her brain had been feeling the effects of the disease she'd taken on and it was messing around with all of her senses. All the assassin could remember hearing through the thousands of murmurs that seemed to only echo, never focus, was the word 'mum'. After that, she'd stumbled her way back to her room. She'd tried to make a bath, but she'd forgotten about it, flooding her bathroom. Then she'd mopped it all up. And then, she went to bed.

That was it. That was her entire night accounted for. Amelia felt a lot more comfortable being able to remember it, that way she knew she hadn't made any mistakes that would have cost her family's lives.

Really, she should have been more careful when healing Peggy, she should have tried to figure out a way to not take the disease onto herself but all her training had taught her was that healing herself and healing others were two very different things. She had no idea how to do it at the same time. And for her plan to work, she needed Peggy to heal. It was a necessary sacrifice.

Feeling calmer, she opened up the sandwich. It smelt about the same way it looked, horrifying, and possible inedible. But she needed food, she needed to get some energy again, and sadly the egg mayonnaise sandwich was the only way for her to achieve that.

"Show me your wound," Rebecca eyed the brunette warily, sensing that something was wrong with her from the strange behaviour she was displaying.

"What?" Despite knowing better, she was still tired, so her surprise was clear when the doctor asked for her to show a wound she couldn't even remember. Then it clicked. She'd lied about having a wound and needing to get medicine.

"The one you said you got last night, show me it."

It was a test to see if she was lying, that much was clear. Amelia gulped, knowing that this was going to be where everything broke down, including her plottings with Peggy. The brunette moved slowly, lifting up her arm and beginning to push up the sleeve of her black sweater, urging some sort of plan to pop up in her mind before it was too late but absolutely nothing was coming to her.

This is it, she thought, everything was about to fall apart over something as silly as a forgotten cut.

It was going to be over. Until, she felt a burning pain as clothing scraped against the injured skin. She visible winced, the action probably seeming dramatic to Rebecca but Amelia half of her scrunched up expression was down to the surprise rather than the actual pain. Pulling her shirt sleeve up higher, she revealed a cut across her bicep that had already scabbed over.

She'd remembered to put a wound. Trying to keep her happiness over her past self making sure her plan managed to work, she kept a pained expression on her face even though it hurt her pride a little as it wasn't even that deep of a cut and normally not something she'd cry about.

Rebecca continued to eye her up, making Amelia wonder if she was still suspicious which pushed her even more to eat the sandwich, trying to pretend like there was absolutely nothing happening.

"Okay, well," Rebecca started, finally looking away from Amelia who instantly relaxed once she was no longer fixed beneath the doctor's cold grey stare, "whilst you were sleeping it looks like your boyfriend figured out that you're going to be going after Pandora's box, I suspect they're going to be waiting there for you to arrive."

She gulped down her food, putting the sandwich down as she was no longer hungry, "all of them?"

"As far as I'm aware, it's just the Captain, Black Widow, and Falcon."

No. That wasn't part of the plan. Her stomach dropped to the bottom of her stomach, though she couldn't tell if the sick sensation was due to her anxieties or the egg mayonnaise already reacting in her belly. Either way, the brunette felt panicked. More than she had since she began to do Rebecca's bidding, which in some ways was silly, there was a chance she'd finally get to see Steve again.

Perhaps it was fear that she was feeling, those old ugly thoughts of black ink tainting crystal blue waters, her darkness shrouding his light like a blanket made from rose stems, thorns and all. She didn't want that though, she wanted to believe in what Tyler had told her, that he would still love her despite all the people she'd killed and that it wouldn't tarnish their relationship anymore because he already knew of the red that coated her skin, all the open wounds she had from her haunted past, and he'd still allowed her to touch her then.

Or, perhaps, it was because she knew if she did meet them all when she went to retrieve Pandora's box, she'd have to continue playing a villain. For her plan to work, Steve and everyone else needed to be convinced that she'd changed to the dark side.

But she hadn't expected to have to convince him that herself. Amelia knew that Rebecca was weaving her way through the shadows, making the rest of the Avengers think that she was doing all of the killing for herself rather than for Rebecca's own plottings, which is why she'd used it for her own secret plan. Amelia didn't know if she could convince Steve just by herself that she was AS09 again. She didn't know if she could hurt him like that.

"Your inside source tell you that?" Amelia asked, a mouthful of sandwich that she managed to finish in under five bits. She rushed the process of eating it, knowing if she actually wasted time chewing it then the taste would make her throw all that she had managed to get down, out. Her clear struggle with the sandwich was actually useful though as it masked all her concerned thoughts playing in her mind like an off-tune violin.

"Yes," she answered, standing up once Amelia was done with her sandwich, "and they also brought me a present, something to… motivate you." Rebecca opened the door and signaled at it with her hand, "come on."

Amelia raised an eyebrow, curious, but she followed her orders like a good little soldier. Because that's what she had to be, just a good little soldier.

They went outside of her room and walked down the hallway over to Rebecca's room, the doctor saying nothing more and allowing Amelia's mind to run rampant with guesses of what the new 'motivation' could be. She wanted it to be food. A proper beef burger made from hand in proper buns with proper cheese. Or maybe something like a day off. She wanted it to be something nice.

That wasn't what she got.

The doctor entered her motel room first, letting Amelia follow her lead as she moved into the bathroom, only pausing once she was beside the bathtub, and then, she reached out with her taloned hand and pulled back the dirty white shower curtain.

Behind that dirty white shower curtain, seated inside the bathtub, shaking and bound, was a small blond boy.

"Aaron!" Amelia screamed out frantically as she rushed to his side, throwing herself down on her knees beside the bathtub and pulling the small boy closer to her, his entire body quaking beneath her fingertips. He was completely wide-eyed, the gray illuminating his iris' turning as pale as his body that she tried to calm down with her touch. As carefully and as painlessly as she could, Amelia began to pull the tape from his lips, probably tugging out a few rare hairs that sparsely grew around his lips in some lame attempt at a mustache.

As soon as the tape was pulled from his lips, jumbled messes of sounds purged from his lips, words barely forming between the stutters, "I-I-I'm, I'm so sorry. It was dark, and I, I just didn't, I didn't see anyone but they- they got me and I, I don't know," the blond secretary was clearly terrified, falling into Amelia's gentle touches like they were angel wings wrapping around him and taking him to safety.

"Hey, hey," Amelia cooed, bringing up one hand and caressing it across his cheek, trying to remember all the ways Steve would soothe her. It was mostly after being in small, confined, spaces that she'd get panicked and he'd always hold her hand, or press his hand against her cheek, or kiss her, or whisper sweet nothings until all the darkness that had ruptured inside of her turned into serene blue. That's what she tried to be for Aaron in that moment, doing everything she could to reach into his panic and set free a calm blue. Of course, she didn't kiss him, that was exclusively a thing just for Steve. But she patted her hand against his cheek and tried to whisper calming phrases into his ear. "It's okay. It's going to be okay, don't worry. I've got you." She didn't know if it was going to be okay, she didn't know if she could really save Aaron. But he didn't need to know that.

From above both of them, Rebecca was poised with her arms crossed over her chest, a blank stare on her face. "This is more motivation for you to follow my orders. You will go get Pandora's box and bring it back here, you will _not_ try and play any tricks on me." She explained the words clearly, with a snap to them that made it clear there was no room for argument but Amelia still turned to her, appalled at what she'd done and seething.

"You didn't need to kidnap some _kid_ to make sure of that!" Amelia stood up, moving away from Aaron for his own safety as she felt black energy spark between her fingers, her powers becoming uncontrollable when combined with the turbulent emotions inside. She stepped closer to the doctor, causing Rebecca to take her own step backward. "I've killed people for you, isn't that enough?!"

"Don't act like it's the same!" The doctor returned with just as much fire, affronting Amelia momentarily as she'd expected the usual calm, serene, response but it seemed Rebecca was growing frustrated as well. "Killing strangers doesn't come close to fighting the ones you love. I need to know that you'll actually fight them."

Of course, Rebecca was right. Amelia had just been thinking about how she didn't think she would be able to ever hurt Steve, but that didn't mean she needed to be happy about what the doctor was doing. And what she'd done. Rebecca had gotten her to kill all those punks, and all those ex-Hydra agents, and what for? Amelia _still_ had no idea why, but no more. She wanted answers.

"Why is Pandora's box so important to you that you'd go _this_ far to get it? What the hell are you hoping to achieve through killing and breaking people?!" Her voice was raised but she didn't care, Amelia just wanted to know why. "Is the price really worth it?!"

Rebecca's eyes turned to slits, the aged woman still managing to stand tall with her head held up high and a glower that would turn men to stone despite the raging superhuman before her. She really did have nothing left to lose. Why else would she be able to face a monster like Amelia so calmly?

"Those pictures on my mantle piece, you never asked me who they were." Each word that fell from her blood red lips were composed and sharp, just like her gaze which remained only on Amelia as she tried to think what pictures Rebecca was talking about.

Amelia's eyes fell to the floor as she took herself back to the first day she'd entered Rebecca's home, sneaking in through the window under the cover of night. She'd gone over to the mantle piece then and picked up some of the pictures, looking between them. One had been a blond, beaming, child and then in another photo were two others that looked like twins, and next to that was a picture of the family all together. The twins, Rebecca with a baby in her arms, and her husband.

"That's right, you're remembering now, aren't you? Three children, two parents. Why have you never seen them though Amelia? All those sessions and not once were any of them home with me." Amelia looked back up to Rebecca, unable to recall anything else other than the family photos, incapable of connecting the dots until Rebecca finally filled them in for her.

"Because they were dead Amelia," the doctor announced, throwing her hands up in the air with a bitter, broken, smile bending her lips crooked. "My two sons, both 26, they were working for SHIELD, as was my husband. We met because of SHIELD. But then, Hydra infiltrated, and you and Steve got in the way. My sons and husband _died_ that day because they tried to fight off Hydra." Her smile cracked along with her voice, grey eyes beginning to shine with tears.

Amelia felt the news hit her in the heart, everything finally glaringly obvious but it wasn't the news she'd hoped for. Though she hadn't realized it, Amelia had been hoping for Rebecca's reasoning to be something petty, or plain evil. But wanting vengeance over the loss of her family made perfect sense, and it also explained why Rebecca had chosen to threaten her family. It was the best driving force she knew.

The assassin's mouth fell open as she tried to think of what she could say, but after talking with Charles mother, she knew words were of no use. The only thing that could have fixed such a tear in her heart, was to have her family back with her. But Amelia couldn't do that, as much as she wished that she could, the same way she wished she could bring Charles and Pietro back.

All she could do was try to get through to Rebecca. Make her see the other side of things, the side that didn't include threatening the Avenger's lives. "...You should have told me, we could-"

"We could what? Have done something? No, Amelia we couldn't. Because you haven't. It's been over a year since Hydra fell and they're still at large, destroying other people's lives and all you and the Avengers have done is help them along the way. You destroyed Washington first, then Sokovia. You and the Avengers can't help _anyone_." The words burst out of her, with a splinter in her voice, Rebecca brought up an accusatory finger and poked it harshly into the assassin's soldier, wanting to do so much more but she wasn't a fighter like Amelia or her sons or her husband, she just had a mind. That was her weapon. A brain and words both spiked with poisoned razor edges. She dropped her hand, gesturing to herself, "so I've taken things into my own hands. I will get vengeance. I well get justice. And not you, or Captain America, or even the whole damn world can get in my way because they were my _children_ and the _love_ of my life. So you go, you go and get me Pandora's box, and I'll sit here with my gun pressed against Aaron's head until you return with my weapon. Got it?"

There was no way to get through to her, Amelia accepted it then. There was no way that she would be able to convince Rebecca to stop her plan. In some ways, she didn't want to. Rebecca was right. Hydra hadn't been taken down and they were still creating tyranny, destroying people's lives. Hydra needed to be destroyed, Amelia knew that better than anyone.

 _But not like this_. It was why Rebecca's plan couldn't be allowed to work, because all Rebecca had done was destroy Amelia's life, and she would do much worse if Amelia disobeyed. So for the sake of _her_ family, Amelia needed to stop Rebecca.

"Fine." She relinquished, the edge in her voice gone, leaving room for quiet defeat. Turning back to face Aaron, she sent him her best comforting smile, "I'll be back soon, I promise."

At the realization that his only confidant was leaving him, he became frantic once again, pushing his body against the edge of the bathtub, unable to actually stand up and reach for the brunette as his body was still bound together. "No, no Amelia, no, no don't leave me," tears fell freely, the blond secretary not a hardened soldier like Steve who always tried to keep his fear hidden. No, his fear was as clear as day and causing guilt to churn in the pit of Amelia's belly.

She stepped back over to Aaron and shoved her hand through his messy blond tendrils. "I've got to do this, but I'll be as quick as I can. Just try to take deep breaths," she took deep breaths of her own, trying to get him to breathe along with her. Then she tried to think of what Steve would say to someone in that situation, and she figured he'd say something that would inspire hope in them. Amelia gave it her best shot. "It's your time to be a hero kid, you've got this."

And then she left, going to the warehouse where Steve, Natasha, and Sam would be waiting for her.

Amelia tried to steal herself, doing everything she could to form the perfect AS09 mask, knowing AS09 would be the only one who could face Steve. AS09 didn't feel love or care for anyone. Amelia always thought that was sad, that the way she used to live was just such a shame. Now it was a gift.

When she reached the warehouse, it was as difficult as she'd expected it to be. Multiple agents guarded every nook and cranny, weapons in hand. But the good thing about having telekinetic powers was that she could attack from afar, leaving most of the guards with nothing to fight back against. She made it to the main storage room in no time, immediately making her way over to Pandora's box and that's when she saw them.

Her three closest friends were stood circling Pandora's box, the actual weapon nothing more than a big square box in the middle of the room. It didn't look like anything special. But it was what was inside of Pandora's box which was the real world destroyer.

Amelia inhaled three, long, inhales of breath and then, like the snap of someone's fingers, she became AS09. A cool, calculated, killer who felt no connection to the three agents in front of her. Or, she was at least trying to be.

"Hope I didn't keep you guys waiting too long!" She announced theatrically, stepping out from behind a few boxes and making her first appearance. The brunette came to stand in front of the three, eyes looking to both Sam and Natasha (but never Steve) as a knife-pointed smirk curved her face. Amelia wasted no time, getting straight to the point in hopes that she could get through their encounter with minimal damage to her friends. All she had to do was make sure they knew she'd gone rogue. That was all. "I'm going to need you guys to step aside. If you let me take Pandora's box, then there won't be an issue." As though to clarify her point, she grabbed from her jeans two very sharp knives, her gifts from Rebecca.

Steve stepped forward, moving closer to her but not filling the distance between them. His blue eyes were wide and brimming. After everything he'd been through, seeing her again was like seeing a ghost but she was really there, and _alive_ , and still as beautiful as ever, and maybe that's why it felt like his heart was bouncing around his chest. But he had to keep in mind that there was something going on, something that was making Amelia act the way she was, something that made Pandora's box safety very important. "You know we can't do that."

His voice was deep and haunting and it violated her bones in such a delicious way that she felt them vibrate. But she did not look him in the eyes. She couldn't look him in the eyes.

Seeing the way the two lovers were behaving, Steve practically reaching out for her heart with his gaze, Nat decided to step in. The redhead felt as though she was the only one who could identify Amelia and AS09 as different people, perhaps it was because they shared similar pasts. She came to stand beside Steve, hands pressed against her hips, "how about you avoid an issue by stepping down yourself, maybe telling us who's really in charge."

She laughed, a short exhale of apathetic air leaving both her nostrils and her mouth as she gestured to herself, pointing one of the knives at her own chest, "I'm in charge."

Amelia found it was much easier to talk to Natasha, she knew that her friend would understand after everything was over, that she'd be one of the first to forgive her. That's what she hoped, anyway.

"Oh, sure. And Santa's real too," Sam mockingly stated, the next to step forward, all their backs now turned to Pandora's box. "You wouldn't do this to us, Amelia," he spoke just as strongly as Steve had, just as _assured_ that she couldn't possibly have gone rogue.

And for a moment, Amelia was touched. Because she had such a strong and wonderful family. Sure, Tony wasn't there which was something that cut her to the core but she tried not to think about that. Instead, she concentrated on the fact that she'd managed to find such special people and have them become her closest friends, people who always saw her light even in the darkest of times.

It would have been such a great thing, probably something that would bring her to tears, had she not been about to ruin all of that trust they had in her.

"How about this, blink twice if you're being controlled by someone?" Nat suggested.

"Oh my god," she sighed, forcing another fake laughter to cascade from her tongue as she rolled her eyes, shaking her head slightly to get her hair out of her eyes.

"Amelia," Steve's voice broke through the pretend laughter, his rocky tone making her lips shut tight and her eyes fall to the floor on instinct. "Stop it," it wasn't an order, or a demand, it was a pure request, "please, just, come home."

Don't cry, she told herself.

"I am home, Captain. For the first time in years, I'm home," she said out loud, acting as though her very insides were being shattered like a hammer against porcelain. Amelia held up one of the knives, looking at its sharp edge, watching it shimmer and shine beneath the lights. To everyone else in that room, she looked practically hypnotized, "all I need is my knives."

Steve just shook his head, his jaw tightening and he sent her a look of determination, a look that screamed 'I don't believe you' and she could practically feel it burning through the mask she'd worked so hard to create. "You're going to have to try harder if you want to be more convincing."

"Okay," her response was easy, but what she was about to do wasn't easy. Not one bit.

AS09, not Amelia, jumped into action. Having trained with many of them, she knew their fighting styles pretty well, she knew what she had to do to win. And the first thing she had to do was stop Captain America from entering the battle. He was a super soldier, way stronger and way faster. Black energy surrounded him as soon as AS09 took a step forward, his entire body tensing beneath the energy but he couldn't move an inch.

His teammates hadn't even noticed as they were two busy preparing for the approaching shadow that whipped its way around the room, AS09 using the black energy to push her way forwards faster than the redhead and the pilot were capable.

She went for Natasha first, the easiest one to get to but that didn't necessarily mean the least challenging. Natasha went low, knowing she needed to get Amelia off her feet if she wanted a chance at fighting her. As the red head ran forward, slipping herself to the ground in the hopes of kicking Amelia's feet off their balance, the brunette didn't avoid the obvious attack. Instead, as Nat was centimeters away, she jumped up and flipped herself in the air, an evasion technique she'd learned from Steve. As she came to land, Amelia diverted her body on top of Nat's, then beginning to punch at her ribs in hopes of breaking one.

Nat was quick to react, turning her body so she was facing Amelia. She had to take the brunt of two attacks before she could attack herself, wrapping her legs around Amelia's waist and twisting their bodies in order to get Amelia beneath her. She raised up her hands, ready to electrocute Amelia and immediately immobilize her but the brunette was just as fast on her feet. Using her powers, two black tendrils formed around her skin, reaching up and grabbing a hold of Nat's hands whilst Amelia gave another blow directly on the redheads face. Her nose instantly began to bleed and she became unfocused, the pain of the blow to her nose and the tentacles keeping her from reacting.

That was when Sam decided to enter, beginning to run over. Amelia saw him from the corner of her eye and quickly discarded Nat so she didn't end up trapping herself. She jumped back onto her feet, Sam already raising a gun and shooting at her but she blocked it off with ease, only then releasing that what he shot wasn't a gun but a taser.

None of them had brought actual guns, only weapons that would immobilize her. How foolish.

Whilst Sam was distracted by her sudden block, she charged forward once again. Sam met her halfway, throwing out his fist which she easily blocked with her arm, using her other hand that now held a knife to plunge the weapon into his stomach. He let out a cry of pain, jumping backward and sprouting his wings so he could get further away from her, deciding that close combat was too much of a risk.

But she wasn't going to let him go that easily. Using the walls of boxes, she jumped her way high enough to reach Sam, jumping onto his back and using a black shard she created to tear through his wing. He began crash landing, his body being flung uncontrollably as he lost his balance. She gave one final blow to his head with the butt of her knife, knocking him unconscious as he crash-landed on top of one of the piles of boxes, one of his legs bent in an unusual way.

AS09 fell to the floor unceremoniously. She didn't give herself much time to catch her breath again as Nat was already back up on her feet and running up to her again. They collided harshly. Amelia tried to grab a hold of her waist, ready to lift her up and put her back down on the ground but as soon as AS09's hands tightened around her waist, Nat used it as support to flip her body around, wrap her legs around AS09's neck, and then throw her down.

Seconds later, Amelia felt electricity spike inside her body, attacking every single nerve she possessed and making her shake on the ground from all the jolts. Through the pain, she managed to create one more shard and focus enough to get it to collide with Natasha's head.

"No!" Steve cried from his little cell across the room, watching as the black shard hit Nat on the head and forced her entire body to twist and then plummet to the ground. From the back of her head he could see no exit wound, but the puddle of blood that began to leak from her head told him that she'd definitely been hit by it.

Silence settled after the scuffle, Steve's heavy breaths of anguish the only sound as AS09 slowly stood back up of the ground, her chest heaving and her body still recovering from the taser Nat had attacked her with.

She'd been electrocuted before, it was one of the things Hydra used to do to her, but it never stopped being painful. Carefully, she pulled the taser from her skin, biting down on her lips as she ripped bits of her skin off as well.

But at least she'd done it, she'd taken them out. She'd been AS09. Amelia knew still though, that fighting them wasn't going to be the hard part.

The man standing behind her, entire body tense as he tried to fight against the shroud of black that covered his entire body, he was going to be the hard part.

AS09 sighed, becoming stone faced once again as she turned back to Steve. Don't look in his eyes, she reminded herself, knowing that if she did look in his calming blue eyes than it would all be over. "Don't make me hurt you too, Steve," she eyed him carefully, really, he shouldn't have even been standing as she was using a lot of her powers trying to get him down on his knees but he was fighting against it with all his power. "Do you really want a fate like theirs?" It was a warning as she gestured to the two knocked out agents on the floor. She knew they'd recover without much physical harm, maybe some emotional, but if her plan worked out then she'd let them take out some revenge during training. Amelia hoped they'd forgive her in the end.

"I've already told you what I want," his voice sounded anguished, throat tight as he continued to stand despite the weight pushing him down, "I want you home. Tony does too."

"Then why isn't he here?" There was a spark of emotion in her question, a barely there sadness that made her voice sound a little quieter. It was barely anything, but it was still far too much for Amelia's comfort. She couldn't show that she cared.

Tony believed whatever lies Rebecca had been throwing around and she refused to hold that against him. Sure, it hurt that he didn't trust her like Steve, but she knew that she still had a long way to go before she could ever fully earn her brothers trust. It was the same way around, if she were being honest.

She walked past the immobilized soldier over to Pandora's box, the plain black box somehow looking ominous as well as tiny. On top of the box was a keypad that would allow her to input the code. 02, 06, 14, 16, 64, those were all the codes she'd gotten from killing the ex-hydra agents. The last code she needed was from Alexander Pierce who was dead. But Amelia had a guess.

Though he liked to pretend he wasn't, Alexander Pierce was a sentimental man. Especially when it came to her, or, when it came to AS09. She was his proudest creation, and in some ways, his own child. That meant she was the closest Alexander ever had to a family.

She put in the lost code, the numbers '09'.

There wasn't any satisfying ring to let her know all the numbers had been correct, but the front panel of the box did slide open, revealing the 'weapon'.

"Did you ever find out what Pandora's box was, Steve?" Amelia reached into the box and pulled out a thick manila folder. "It's not a weapon in the traditional sense. It's just a folder with a bunch of names in it. Every name, to be exact. The names of everyone that was Hydra, everyone that is, and everyone that will become Hydra." She walked back around to stand in front of Steve, holding the folder up to show him it, continuing on with her explanation, "SHIELD has had this for a year, Steve. And yet they haven't used it. Why? Because it wouldn't just be Hydra that fell. The entire world could collapse once all these names are revealed. Every single corrupt soul, outed. Some of the names on this would break your heart."

"It isn't the names on that list that are breaking my heart, Freckles," his rough voice turned soft as he said her name and she hated the way his entire face seemed to soften when he looked up at her.

Amelia huffed, dropping her hands back down to her side. Once again, he was completely missing the point, "Freckles died ages ago, let her go already." But he wasn't going to, she could see it in the way he looked at her because she'd made the mistake she'd been trying so hard to avoid. She looked into his eyes. She looked into his eyes and saw only love but she couldn't have that, she couldn't have him leaving that warehouse still in love with her or else the plan just won't work. At least for a moment. That's all she wanted, a moment.

There was a chance that he wouldn't ever love her again, she knew that. But the plan wasn't about getting Steve back, the plan was about saving the Avengers from Rebecca.

"Look at you, for god's sake!" She yelled, screaming at both Steve for loving her, and at Amelia for loving him back and making her vulnerable because of it, "you're Captain America! The nations hope! And you're down on your knees completely defeated, I'm not even using my full strength on you right now."

She focused more on her powers, throwing more and more energy around Steve, making it even harder for him to stay on his feet but still he fought. Frustrating Amelia even further.

He grit his teeth, "I could never hurt you."

Amelia's, no, AS09's eyes turned to slits. "Well I can," she declared, taking steps closer to him and putting more of her energy onto him, causing Steve to cry out as it felt like the weight of an entire planet was on his shoulders. "I could hurt you all day, Steve. If I wanted to, I could bury you in this building and walk away scratch free."

"Do it then," he continued to defy, continued to challenge.

AS09 listened, raising her hand and pushing as much dark energy onto him as she possibly could, knowing she'd only be satisfied when he was on his knees. "I could hurt you in unimaginable ways. Burn all that _heart_ and _hope_ right out of your body," she felt the blood beginning to leak from her nose but she didn't care, she needed to defeat him. "Is that what you want? Just stand down Steve." She needed Steve down because just one touch from him left trails of fire on her skin that could not be blown out with just her breath, his hands holding a burning house within them, their home. She couldn't be reminded of their home. "Just fucking stand down!" Her scream was followed by a loud thud that echoed the expanse of the warehouse as Steve Rogers finally fell to his knees, out of breath and covered in shadows.

Breathless, and with his sweaty palms stuck to the cold cement beneath him, he pushed his words out, defying his weakened state because he knew the words were important for her to hear. "I'll always… keep fighting… for you."

Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't _fucking_ cry. She turned her tears into rage, stomping her foot down on the ground aggressively, hating Steve for making it so hard for her. He needed to believe she was evil. It shouldn't have been so hard. "Why?! Look at me! This is it Steve! This is what I am, a fucking monster." That's exactly what she was. Nothing but a monster. The things she'd done to those ex-Hydra agents, the things she'd done when she was with Hydra, hell, the things she'd done whilst with the Avengers like killing Charlie and Pietro, all she was, was a monster. Why couldn't he admit it to himself?

"Freckles," he said her name with pain. Yes, that's how he should be saying her name all the time. She was a monster. "Stop-"

Amelia dropped her energy off his shoulders, the blackness falling down to the ground like smoke before stretching out into nothing. Realising she'd gotten far too passionate on the matter, she tried to calm herself down, tried to go back to being stone. AS09, that's who she needed to be. Amelia was the one who'd gotten too passionate, but AS09 was the one who was always serene and even took enjoyment from hurting anyone and everyone.

Walking over to Steve, she dropped down by his side and lifted up his head with her hands, trying not to think of all the times she'd grabbed his hair whilst they kissed. "Stop fighting me," she told him, a cold order, "it was cruel of me to do this to you, but you left me with no option. You still don't seem to understand it."

He had an open wound on his head, she remembered seeing the gaping wound in the photograph they'd sent her and clearly he'd opened it up by tensing his body so much. Blood leaked from the wound, covering the side of his face. AS09 needed to remember it, the taste of blood. And Steve, he needed to remember just how much of a blood-lusting killer she was. So she stuck out her tongue and licked the side of his face, feeling the metallic taste coat her tongue.

"How many times do I have to tell you, Captain America," AS09 spat out his word like it was the funniest thing she'd ever heard, like his entire existence was one big joke to her, "all I crave now is blood. Stop chasing after me, or else you'll become my next pray."

"You wouldn't do that, this isn't you Amelia, you're not-"

"A weapon? A monster?" She interrupted, dropping his head back down to the floor so she could stand up and point to both Sam and Natasha. "Explain them then!" She couldn't look at them too long or else she'd feel guilt. There was once a time when she would take out anyone that dared put a finger on them, now she was the one creating their wounds. God, she hated herself _so much_. But she couldn't concentrate on that just yet, she would cry about it later on. That moment was meant only for convincing Steve of the destruction that was in her veins. "I was always a weapon, you just blinded me for a moment. But now I see it, I see what I was always meant to do. Kill. That was all I was meant to do."

"You didn't do anything to me though," he pointed out, "you never even touched me."

"Is that what it will take, to make you believe?" There it was again, that sadness that bit at her voice and made it come out quieter than she wanted it to. But she had to keep her voice low, or else Steve might hear the beg she was doing inside, the loud prayers to Steve, beseeching him to not force her to harm him.

But he wasn't going to believe her. She could see it, blazing in his eyes. He trusted her too much, and if she didn't hurt him than he'd have his answer that she hadn't gone rogue.

He shook his head, droplets of sweat flying off the ends of his hair and wetting the ground. "This was never you, and I know this will never be you. Just tell me why, Amelia, tell me why and I can help." He continued to defy her, continued to tell her that there was the only way she'd be able to shatter that trust.

And oh, did it hurt her to do so.

She grabbed the knife from her pocket, the weapon having never felt so heavy. She was swift, steps quick as she walked back over to him. She kneeled down, poised herself, ready to drive the knife into his stomach. But she hesitated. One, single, second where she couldn't really believe what she about to do and one, single, second where she wanted nothing but to be driving that knife into her own stomach. And then she drove it into his stomach. She made sure to do it somewhere she knew there were no important organs. Amelia had had to close her eyes as she did it, she didn't want to have the image of herself driving a knife into Steve in her memories.

After carrying out the heinous act, she knew she must have had ice freezing her veins because she felt a cold worse than the fires of hell tear through her body. She expected the ice to melt afterward, because she'd done it, she'd hurt Steve, the one thing she'd sworn she'd never do. But it didn't melt. Amelia just felt herself getting colder, and colder, and colder.

And it hurt her so much.

She needed to get away, horrible emotions bubbling up inside her, burning her from the inside. But Steve had grabbed the hand she'd driven the knife into him with, keeping her there so that his blue eyes could connect with hers. "Please don't go, please."

"Why can't you believe that this isn't what I want anymore? Is it so hard for you to imagine that darkness has always been my home. Are you really so self-centered to think that you ever were?" The cackle that followed her words sounded so fake, but it was all she could do to cover up the cracks as her throat tightened with vile crawling at the back of her throat. Her mask was beginning to crack, and not just one line, a chain of jagged cuts forming all the way threw her mask and soon it would become nothing but dust.

"When all you know is fire, that means you're meant to watch the world burn," Ultron had been the first to say it, and now Amelia was finally beginning to understand why he'd said it to her. He was right. When Steve gave her that chance, this fate had become destined. She was always going to end up hurting him, because it was all she knew.

Steve's blue eyes, that love he'd once looked at her with, it was turning dull. She'd done it. She'd broke him. She did not consider it a victory.

Amelia managed to stand up and pull away from him, completely out of his grasp and she turned away from him, allowing for a second her mask to break and her mouth to turn into a frown and her eyebrows to scrunch together and pain, so much pain became apparent because she'd broken the man she loved.

"I think," he coughed, blood coating his pale pink lips. "I know, that you still love me. And I know you have a reason for doing all of this, and whatever this is, I promise we'll fix it. So it's okay, I forgive you."

"Love," she sneered, "love was just a lie I told myself to make the nights easier to sleep through, you were the perfect lie, Steve. That's all you ever were to me."

"Maybe when you can look me in the eye whilst saying that, I'll believe you."

But Amelia couldn't look at him. Because tears were streaming down her face in torrents and she needed to get out of there before she completely fell apart in front of him. She left that day, a dying star, a god turned mortal. Just a girl with a broken heart and two bloodied hands that would never be washed clean.

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 **A/N: So this chapter might have a load of spelling mistakes in cause I'm lazy as hell. I read through it all, did the spellcheck thing, and then the website froze on me. AGAIN. I'm getting seriously angry about this, it's always when I'm done editing.**

 **I'm sorry I didn't upload anything yesterday but it was a bad day mentally for me and I kind of just hid from the world. Hopefully this chapter kind of makes up for it cause yay they were reunited, sort of?**

 **Anyone figure out the codes yet? No one seems to have figured out why I called her AS09 which I find funny, you can at least guess the 'AS' part now. Anyway, the codes are: 02, 06, 14, 16, 64 with the last code being '09'. The first five numbers are all chapter numbers which, I believe, are defining moments for AS09. So basically something life-defining is going to happen in chapter 64.**

 **To BrittStar1199, I haven't even wrote the plan for Civil War yet and _I'm_ hella conflicted on whose side she'll be on. **

**To Sam0728, YES! I want to find Bucky too, I wonder how Amelia will reac to that scene when Bucky gets on the motorbike though. Like is she allowed to find it as hot as I do? Or is that, like, mentally cheating on Steve? Idk. I don't even know if Bucky and Amelia are gonna be friends or enemies yet.**

 **To CrispyCoconut, I liked your idea but I went for a little bit of a plot twist instead, I like your idea though, ever seen Kingsman? I could have written a beautiful explosion scene like that lol. But who knows, part three might still have an explosive ending. You're suspicious of Aaron? Whaaaaaat, the poor dude has just been kidnapped, cut him some slack. He can't possibly be the inside person if he's been kidnapped! And I'm really sorry but I don't understand your last point, can you explain a lil better for me? I'm probably being hella dumb.**

 **To rosequartz121, okay so it's totally canon for this story that he does say that, but we don't get to see it sadly. And that is like the hardest possible question you could ever ask me. I know it's a cop out but I don't think I have a favourite? I immediately went to say Cap, because I love what he represents, not America (because I'm british) but that whole thing about not backing down, no matter who you're up against or how battered and bruised you are, you just keep fighting and keep hoping. I love that shit so much and it's the kind of thing I have to remind myself everyday, and Cap reminds me of that. But then, I also love Bucky so much because I love broken characters and he's so broken but so good and I love characters that can go from being defeated to being just _better_ , y'know? And then I love Peter Parker, like MCU Peter Parker because he's just a kid but he's trying his best. And then I love Loki, my original love, my first MCU love. And yeah, the list goes on and on, I pretty much love all of them. Except Odin and Thanos cause they are bad parents and as a child of abuse I can't fucking stand bad parents. I'M SO SORRY FOR HOW LONG THIS ANSWER WAS BUT THANK YOU FOR ASKING IT WAS FUN FOR ME TO ANSWER!**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, I'm glad you liked it! I love it when people surprise me by loving certain chapters I didn't think was all that special, it means so much to me that people can fall in love with any of the chapters I write. So yeah, thank you :)**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, hope things made sense!**

 **To Pitspee, omg thank you I'm genuinely surprised by the reception the last chapter got. And same, I'm nearing the end of Part Three now writing-wise and I'm just dying to write some Steve and Amelia fluff y'know? And yes, you're totally right with both Mia and Peggy's relationship, and how Mia won't want a therapist after everything, which is sad because after Civil War she's probably gonna need one. And I'll see what I can come up with hair dye wise, I feel like because Amelia is discovering so much, when she discovers hair dye she'll want to dye her hair all sorts of wacky colours at first.**

 **To FireflyDarkness, thank you!**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, I think at first it was important for Amelia to have some sort of relationship with Steve's ex-favourite girl, but after everything that's happened, and knowing the things she does about Peggy, Amelia has come to trust Peggy a lot. Hope it made sense and that you enjoyed this chapter :)**

 **And a big thanks to everyone that read the chapter, the next two chapters are currently my favourites in Part Three so look forward to them!**


	62. Chapter Fifty-Nine

**CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE**

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" _It was sunsets that taught me that beauty sometimes only lasts for a couple of moments, and it was sunrises that showed me that all it takes is patience to experience it all over again."_

― _**A. J. Lawless**_

* * *

Steve let out a hiss as a nurse dabbed at his wound, cleaning it to make sure that it didn't get infected.

"Oh stop being a baby," Natasha hummed from beside him, her voice feeling far too happy inside of that hospital room which housed three broken and worn agents. She pointed up to her head wound which was much larger and would take longer than a day to just heal, really it would never heal, she would be permanently scarred by the gash on the side of her head. "At least yours won't leave a scar, I still can't believe she hit me in the face." At least it would only leave a scar where her hair was, it would be quite easy to cover up.

Nat wanted to believe that Amelia had done it on purpose, that she'd directed her energy shard for the sole reason of bringing Natasha down and nothing else. She wanted to believe that the scar on her head was proof that she was holding back. But it didn't feel that way at all.

When Amelia sent that shard, she was being electrocuted, she was unfocused. Using the shard to shoot at her head was the exact same as if she were using a gun to shoot, her aim was completely off in that moment. Nat could have died. Maybe Amelia was actually aiming to kill her but she'd missed.

It was hard for her to tell, but it had certainly left some distrust in her and she was no longer sure if Amelia was still on their side or not considering what she'd done to all three of them.

Sam felt similarly to Nat, he was sat on a bed waiting to get a cast on his broken leg, as well as get his broken ribs seen to. The waiting gave him time to think over everything he'd seen. Since the announcement that Amelia had gone rogue he'd stood on the sidelines, not fully deciding whether it was true or not, much like how he'd done when first meeting Amelia, he'd not instantly labeled her as the enemy and gotten to know her first. Though it hurt him too, he was beginning to fall onto Tony's side, which meant he felt guilty every time he looked at Steve.

The soldier was trying his best to look unaffected by what had occured between him and Amelia, he hadn't even told the two fellow agents what happened once they went unconscious. But his silence and the wound near his stomach were answer enough for the both of them.

Steve didn't reply to Nat's teasing, not really in a joking mood as he replayed the moments over and over again in his head searching for any sort of hint as to the trouble that she was in. All he could find as evidence were the things she didn't say, and the things she didn't do, but he knew those wouldn't hold up as sufficient enough evidence against Tony and Thor. He wanted to be on her side, he wanted to save her, but Amelia was making that pretty much impossible for him.

He was at a complete loss, and it was eating away at him like mold does to bread.

Their silence was interrupted by the boisterous appearance of Tony who charged into the med bay, throwing the doors open wide to announce his arrival. He immediately went over to Steve, making the nurse look up at him wide eyed whilst Steve simply looked at the billionaire with detestment burning in the black of his pupil, a look Tony wasn't even affronted by as questions about his sister spilled out of his lips. "Did you see her? Did she look okay? What did she say? Was she the one that attacked you? Was anyone else with her?"

Natasha waved away her nurse, not really caring that she was only halfway through getting her stitches as she moved over to Tony, grabbing his arm and trying to pull him away from the soldier, not wanting another fight to break out. "How about you leave Steve alone until he's done getting his wound cleaned?" The redhead framed it like a question but both her and Tony knew it was more of a demand.

"No, I need answers now," he aggressively pulled his arm out of her touch, turning back to Steve and stepping even closer to the bed, "I can't believe you all went without me, her brother. We could have brought her back here, to get _help_."

"She doesn't want help," Steve argued, a hardness to his tone that was like iron scraping against stone, "not from anyone."

His bitterness was loud and clear, answering half of Tony's questions. His shoulders fell, all fight seemingly leaving the billionaire as his last little bit of hope was squashed. Even he'd believed that Amelia would cave in to Steve, not daring to hurt the man she'd loved but apparently that just wasn't't the case. His hands fell down to the rail around Steve's hospital bed, turning white as they gripped it tightly, "you should have told me."

All Tony wanted was a chance to speak to her, he knew that she wasn't as close to him as she was Steve but maybe their blood relation had started meaning something to her like it always had him.

"Why? You wouldn't have done anything differently," Steve continued his quarrel, making the billionaire look to him with ice in his stare, "we tried talking to her but she just didn't want to hear it. She'd set her mind on this. Whatever this is."

As angry he was at Steve, he also felt sorry for the leader who was clearly heart broken by his interaction and Tony couldn't really blame him, if Pepper stabbed him then he'd feel pretty damn hurt too. Trying to keep that in mind, he relinquished his rage, instead concentrating on what was important which was getting his sister help as soon as possible. "So that's it then?" Tony's question was accompanied by a sigh, "talking clearly doesn't work. I'll get the rest of the Avengers and as soon as we get a location on her, we'll go and capture her."

"She's not a criminal, Tony," the soldier snapped again, making it clear to everyone in that room that he _still_ trusted Amelia even after everything. Of course, they had no idea of the turmoil Steve was in but that's how he wanted to keep it, Amelia needed at least one person in her corner fighting for her.

The billionaire let out a scoff and threw his arms up in the air, dropping them down in his hair so he could tug harshly on the ends, ready to just about tear his hair out because of the soldier's constant denial. He was about to _scream_ at Steve that he was wrong, that they couldn't keep having the same damn argument just because he loved her, Tony loved Amelia too and she needed his help, ignoring all her issues wasn't help.

But before he could get any of his words out, another voice intruded, a uniformed white-haired man stepping through the doors with an abundance of folders in his arms, one of which was open for him to read through. "Experiment AS09 has killed over eighty-five people in the past three days, broken into a secure government facility, and stolen - not only government property - but a Hydra weapon. In her lifetime she has killed over three hundred people. If she's not a criminal, then what exactly is she, Captain Rogers?" Thaddeus Ross stepped calmly into the room, closing the file in his hand with an irritating slap, a blank look on his face that told Steve he'd already made up his mind on what Amelia was.

Tony stepped away from Steve's bed, going to stand beside Ross, "I told you I'd talk to them first."

Ross turned his head only halfway, a mocking smile curving his lips beneath a greying moustache, he was going to argue with the billionaire that he didn't exactly trust Tony to be able to discipline them enough considering they'd gone on a rogue mission and allowed a Hydra weapon to get her hands on a dangerous weapon, but it was his turn to be interrupted by Amelia's greatest defender.

"Well, first of all, she's not called 'Experiment AS09', her names _Amelia_. And she's not a criminal, she's just lost." Steve knew all about Thaddeus Ross, one of the Secretaries of State, with past experience as a general which he retired from after suffering a heart attack. He was a cold, detached man, one of the kinds of soldier's Steve always frowned upon because his causes had always seemed poisoned by something impure.

Ross threw his eyebrows up, "most people I know that are her age and are feeling lost get a therapist, or go on a holiday, they don't start killing and stealing weapons."

"She's not most people," Steve easily responded, Tony even nodding his head in agreement with what Steve had said.

"That's precisely my point," Ross rebutted, feeling the way the soldier was challenging him and having no issue with stepping up, "she's an enhanced who is going down a very dark path. We need to terminate her before anything else gets worse."

The billionaire threw his head up at that, the word 'terminate' setting off sirens inside of his mind as that was not what they'd discussed. Ross had come to him after learning that it was Amelia causing havoc in New York City, stating to the billionaire that a lot of very important people were starting to get antsy. They'd discussed capturing her, bringing her in, and rehabilitating her. That's all. The way Ross had used the word 'terminate' didn't sound as friendly as the options he'd previously laid down on the table.

"You mean before she leaks the Hydra file," Steve began to sit up, hand automatically going to press on his aching wound, a painful reminder that Amelia wasn't Amelia anymore. Ross didn't give him a comeback then, showing Steve that he'd managed to hit a nerve. He smirked, not a flirty kind of smirk, but a dangerous, AS09-esque, smirk. "Yeah," he chuckled darkly, "because Hydra won't be the only ones to suffer if all those names get out. Right?"

Tony looked between Ross and Steve, clearly not up to date with the contents of Pandora's box. "What's he talking about?" Tony asked, hating not being in the know. When Ross continued to glare at the soldier, not attempting to divulge the information he was seeking, the billionaire turned to Steve and repeated his question. "What are you talking about?"

The soldier made no move to answer either, simply returning the glare that Ross was sending his way, letting the ex-General know that, no, he wasn't just going to back down and he definitely wasn't going to allow them to do anything to Amelia. Not on his watch.

"Pandora's box isn't a weapon-weapon, it's a folder with the names of every Hydra agent, past, present, and future," Nat gave Tony the footnotes, feeling bad that he was constantly being shoved aside when it was his sister he was trying to protect. He might not have been trying to protect her the same way that Steve was, but it was clear he just wanted to help her, as much as everyone else in that room (excluding Ross) did.

He sent her a curt nod, thankful that she'd given him an explanation and then the cogs turned in his mind, trying to guess what the outcome of that file getting out would be. Havoc, he decided. People would completely lose trust, not just in the people they see on their streets, but the government, all the people that kept the world turning. It would lead to riots, and murders. It was a global catastrophe printed on a few pieces of paper.

Ross placed the file under his arm, joining his collection that consisted of all of Amelia's history, both with Hydra and the Avengers. "My men will be joining you on any future excursions from now on," he ordered, saying it to Tony and completely ignoring that Steve was the leader on purpose. The billionaire nodded, already having discussed the plans when Ross barged into the Avenger's facility after hearing that Captain America, Black Widow, and Falcon had all gone on a stupid and foolish mission which led to Pandora's box being put into the wrong hands.

Steve looked at the billionaire appalled, wondering how he could so easily sign off his sister to someone like Thaddeus Ross, a man that clearly wasn't pure with his intentions.

Ross was actually polite as he left, his programming as a soldier taking over his need as a man to continue challenging Steve. "You might want to be careful with what you're doing, both Amelia and the Avengers. People are starting to watch," he said the warning as a courtesy, a warning of things yet to come, as there had been plenty of talk among government officials about the dangers the Avengers posed to their world. Sure, they saved people, but the price was starting to become too high. Like Sokovia, an entire city had been wiped out, and the Avengers were the only ones they could point their fingers towards.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Steve asked, still not backing down and the reason for that was quite simple: he didn't like bullies. And that little warning Ross just gave them was the simplest bullying technique he'd ever seen. Said only to inspire fear in them, to make them back down and kneel.

He gave the soldier a knowing look, not wanting to say anymore in case he crossed some legal boundaries. They'd find out soon enough.

Thaddeus Ross left the room, but his words didn't. They settled down in the medbay as a thick tension that kept everyone silent, thinking, wondering what exactly the future held for not only Amelia, but the Avenger's themselves. Except for Steve, whose mind wandered back to the dark brunette that seemed to fill up his heart entirely.

He thought about how much he missed her. Her dark eyes, her freckles, her laugh, her warm presence. Her. He just missed her. And he thought about how he could possibly save her from the army that was about to go after her, but he was suddenly hit with the realization that despite being a super soldier, he was just one man. Just one, broken hearted, man.

And it didn't help being inside the facility because every single hallway was filled with her ghost, filling up his view and making Amelia's imperfections unclear which is what he knew he needed to start concentrating on in order to be able to help her. Tony was somewhat right, that was all the soldier would be able to admit. Amelia had gone rogue, but Steve knew that if he got to her before everyone else, that he'd be able to do something. A small bit of doubt chilled his spine then, because that's exactly what he'd thought when they first met in the New York warehouse. How many conversations was he going to try and have with her before he finally gave up? Before he finally put trust in other means, like force, to immobilize and capture her.

His mind was a hurricane and a storm all at once, so busy with thoughts that he couldn't clarify and Steve knew there was no one in that facility that would be able to help him, not in the way that Amelia used to. There was only one other person he wanted to see in that moment. His once upon a time that never was. Peggy Carter.

It was starting to get late but the nurses thankfully let him into Peggy's room, trusting him enough and knowing how important his visits were for the elderly lady who didn't seem so lost in his presence. They'd been polite, asking him if he was okay as he was walking slow and with his hand constantly pressed against the wound on his stomach but he'd assured them everything was fine. Nothing was fine really, his entire life was falling about, but the nurses didn't need to know that.

There was something else as well, the nurses seemed to be incapable of not smiling as he entered Peggy's room, the kind of smile that told him they knew something he didn't, something incredible and spectacular and _miraculous_.

He raised an eyebrow over their smiles but chose not to comment on it, knowing he was already going against some of their rules by visiting Peggy so late at night and he didn't want to tempt fate.

Steve entered Peggy's room and left the door open so that the nurses could enter and intervene if she ever got panicked which was sometimes how she'd react when seeing him. Her reactions always seemed to vary. Sometimes she'd be happy, so happy that she'd start sobbing, and then other times she'd get angry, thinking that he was a ghost haunting her. And then there were the rare times, an occurrence that had only happened once before, where she couldn't even remember him. That was the worst reaction he'd ever gotten from her.

She was asleep when he arrived which wasn't all that much of a surprise, and he couldn't bring himself to wake her up, he knew how tired she got due to the brain-eating disease mixed with her old age. So he just sat there and watched her sleep with a small smile on his face.

It took only five seconds before his mind started to wander, imagining that life he never got to have with Peggy. He imagined that they'd go on their date and dance together, he'd fumble and blush and she'd smile that wide, red-lipped smile which would bubble happiness and adoration in his stomach like the most welcome poison. After that date, they'd take things slow, falling into love the same way a feather fell to the ground. It would be his first relationship and he knew that their careers would probably come first for quite a while. He imagined that they'd argue sometimes because him being Captain America always outshined the hard work she'd done, and then he'd do everything in his power to make sure that she got the recognition she deserved because, oh, was she _magnificent_.

Then when everything calmed down and the world became a little bit more peaceful, they'd buy their first home together. Probably somewhere in Brooklyn because he couldn't really see himself ever leaving the city. It would be great for a few years, they'd both find suitable jobs that would allow them to settle down and live comfortably and spend their time in love and together. Then, she'd get pregnant. He imagined it would be a surprise, a welcome one. They'd both be overjoyed and before they knew it, they'd have a little James Rogers, and eventually they'd get a girl as well, probably naming her after Steve's mother, or maybe Peggy's. But it would take a lot to make him budge on naming their little girl after his mum. Maybe that would be another argument they'd have.

He knew Peggy would be a great mother and he hoped that he would be a great father. He didn't really know if he could actually have children because of the super soldier serum, but in his imagination, they were all pretty normal kids. They'd argue of course, every family has their issues. But at the end of the day they were family, and that would overthrow any argument that tried to get in the way.

And then, years down the line, they'd be old and their children would be off making more children. And maybe then they'd move out of the city to somewhere more quiet, somewhere they could relax in their old age.

It was his dream life, or it had been. It had been a dream that burdened him for quite a while after he woke up in a different century, even more so when he found Peggy alive and having already lived her dream life with someone else. But things were different. For Steve, for the Steve that he was after meeting Amelia and becoming an Avenger, for that Steve, he would give up every single second of that life for _one moment_ with Amelia.

Steve chose her. He'd always choose her. In a hundred reality's, and a hundred worlds, and a hundred different lifetimes, he'd always choose her. Sure, she'd been unexpected, a defining moment as cataclysmic as a collision of stars, but Steve would have it no other way.

And thus, even though he was with Peggy, even though he'd gone to Peggy for the sole purpose of not mourning Amelia for just one second, he found himself lost in her eyes. He didn't need the brunette there to remember them. He'd traced her body enough with his fingers to remember every sharp point and luscious curve. He'd played connect-the-dot with her freckles so many times he had the thousands of constellations burned behind his eyelids, meaning every time he closed his eyes now he got to see stars. So many stars. All of Amelia's stars.

"Steve?" The aged voice that whispered his name was soft, a siren's call among the ocean which the soldier was swimming through.

It pulled him back to reality, forcing his eyes open even though he hadn't even realized he'd closed them. His gaze was met by the elderly woman's warm brown eyes, though her eyebrows were scrunched up, displaying confusion and Steve detected a little bit of worry which had him apprehensively leaning closer to her in his seat. He wanted to make sure she saw that it was indeed him. "Peggy, hey," he put on his best smile despite the sadness he felt weighing him down, he needed to concentrate on making sure Peggy remembered him.

"You're here," the smile that filled her face was familiar and beaming, Steve knew then that it was going to be a good reaction. He expected her to start crying, that's what she usually did whenever she found him alive and well, but instead her eyes remained clear of tears, that smile ever present and widening further on her face, "just like she said you would be."

"What?" Steve's own smile dropped at her words, eyebrows scrunching up into a confused expression that was glorious for her to see. "Peggy, y- you remember me?" He felt stupid saying it. It wasn't possible. There was no way. There was just no way.

"Yes," Peggy confirmed, going against all of his negative thoughts and after a moment of silence all he could do was laugh, a gust of air full of vibrancy that inflated his chest, his heart feeling overwhelmed because Peggy _remembered_ him. "the doctors say it's a miracle," she explained, going along with all of Steve's thoughts that seemed to scream over again and again, 'IT'S A MIRACLE! OH MY GOD! IT'S A MIRACLE!' But the look she gave him, the slight, momentary, raise of her eyebrows, told him that there was so much more to her sudden memory gain, "but we both know that there's only one miracle capable of doing such a thing."

"Amelia was here?" He couldn't think of anyone else that would do it and from how suggestive Peggy was being, Amelia really was the only option. Steve suddenly felt very incredibly proud because _his girl_ did that, she cured Peggy of her disease, she cured Steve's own sadness by giving him the one thing he never thought he'd be able to ever fully have. Amelia had given him his Peggy back.

"Yes." She confirmed, tears beginning to form in the corner of Peggy's eyes because even she'd struggled to believe it at first. For a while she'd just waited, waited for herself to forget. But that time never came, and though it took her exactly ten hours, she'd finally accepted that the miracle that was Amelia Stark had come to her like an angel and given her life once again. Before her, the large soldier broke down, his head falling into his hands as he openly released a sob. Concerned, Peggy reached out for his arm, stroking his skin and offering as much comfort as she could. "Steve? Are you okay?"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm just… so happy." He looked up at her through his eyelashes, tears still falling from his eyes because Peggy being cured wasn't just Peggy being cured, it was also his proof that Amelia was still his Amelia. He rubbed at his eyes, realizing he'd just become a complete mess in front of Peggy even though it was their first time reuniting again for real. He wanted to ask her so many things. He wanted to have with her all the conversations he'd already had, so she could remember all the things they'd said to each other. He just wanted to be remembered.

But his heart still yearned for the raven black haired girl, and he needed to know everything he could possibly know about her visit with Peggy as there could be even more proof that she wasn't really a villain, and perhaps clues on where she was hiding. "Sorry," he apologized again, not really one for sharing his emotions with anyone, he'd even struggled to do so with Bucky, his closest friend. "So Amelia was here? What did she say?"

"Not much I'm afraid," Peggy's eyes fell down to the floor, "she was crying. Steve, she feels so bad about betraying you, I'm not sure what she did. But that poor girl, she could barely form words."

His shoulders fell down. It was news and progress about his girl, but it wasn't as much as he'd hoped. "So she didn't tell you much?"

"No," she responded effectively, seeing how crestfallen Steve had become and wishing that she could tell him more but Amelia had broken down at her bedside and remained that way the entire time she'd been there.

Peggy had allowed her to cry as much as she needed to, easily able to see that she'd been forced to put all her emotions in a cage. She'd wanted to help her some more but Amelia had left just as quickly as she came, saying that she needed to get back or else something bad would happen.

But there had been one thing she'd done, in between the sobbing, in between the breaking down, she'd asked Peggy to do something for her. "But she did give me something," the gray-haired dame revealed, reaching towards the drawer next to her bed and pulling it open, taking out a small item that clinked together.

It was a familiar shape, a key, attached to a small keychain that was round and had the number '8' engraved onto it. "A key?" He accepted the item, allowing Peggy to drop it onto his open palm so he could inspect it further.

"To a motel room, she said you'll be able to recognize it," and Amelia had been right in saying so because Steve did remember the key. It was the first motel they'd stayed at when they'd returned to America, on Amelia's birthday. He tightened his hand around the key, positive that he wouldn't be able to ever let it go as it was his only connection to Amelia. "She also said she wants to meet you there after midnight but you have to make sure you're not followed," Peggy carried on explaining, making sure she said the instructions clearly so that Steve could follow them. She was still confused over what was going on, but if the way Amelia had been acting was anything to go by, she knew it was important.

"Tonight?"

"Yes," Peggy confirmed, noticing the way he seemed to have lightened up from the start of their conversation, his skin suddenly having colour to it again. It only made her more worried for Amelia. "Steve, what's going on? Is she okay?"

"Everything's fine Peggy, everything is absolutely fine." He looked back down at the key, unable to keep the smile off his face, he _knew_ she was still his Amelia. "We got a little lost, but it's okay, we're going to find ourselves again, together," he wasn't just assuring Peggy, he was also assuring the hopeless man he'd been mere moments ago.

"Well then you better go, you don't want to be late." Peggy was right, it was almost eleven and the motel was quite far out from New York. He was glad he'd arrived on his bike, having gone against the nurse at the facility who'd ordered him not to drive on his motorbike for at least a week.

Steve nodded his head, agreeing with Peggy and standing up. He gave her hand one last squeeze, an assurance that he would come visit her again, and he planned to do so with Amelia by his side.

And then he left, leaving Peggy to smile at the empty doorway, pride swelling in her heart. "Go get _your_ girl."

* * *

 **A/N: SO MUCH HAPPENED! We got our first mentions of Civil War. I'm probably painting Ross in a much darker light than he actually is but fuck him okay I've never really been a fan of his character. AND OMG OMG OMG THEY'RE GOING TO REUNITE NEXT CHAPTER OMG What do you guys think will happen? Will they fight? Will they make out? Will they pray together because they are holy children? I'm voting for the last one.**

 **Also I just wrote chapter 63 and like, my god, prepare yourselves that's all I'm going to say.**

 **To OfSeashellsAndStars, this chapter pretty much answered your question lol. And interesting theories but I can neither confirm nor deny. Aaron's gonna blow y'all away lemme tell you.**

 **To LieuDrake, hope you enjoyed all the chapters!**

 **To rosequartz121, it didn't make sense to me this morning but now I think I get what you mean, and you're totally right. I go through phases a lot and I was actually going through a spider-man phase when I started this story, I liked the dynamic of angels falling in love with demons and Steve is the perfect angel so that's why this is a Cap fanfic and not a Bucky fanfic (who is a sweet angel but that boi definitely ain't pure)**

 **To Sam0728, I agree with you on both things lol and I'm sorry for making you cry!**

 **To Hellawoez, careful what you wish for, and yeah of course Mia's gonna want to repair the damage she's done but at the same time I think she'll be done being controlled by people, first Hydra, now Rebecca, I think Mia will want to just be her own person for once. But like I said, haven't decided anything yet, just looking at the two arguments here cause YOU ARE RIGHT but there's also the other point of view.**

 **To CrispyCoconut, I'm sorry for your heart! And tbh Amelia doesn't ever fully recover. And oh, mate, you wait until you see what I've got planned for the end of Civil War, it's the one thing I've known I'm going to do since I started this project.**

 **To Pitspee, yeah fuck Rebecca tbh, never really liked her character but then again I've always known what she was gonna do so... and yeah, that's one side of the coin, I think Amelia's gonna end up being very torn in civil war. I know she'll want to stay with Steve cause she's her man and I'm going to do my best to include some Bucky/Amelia bonding scenes cause I think they're very important for Amelia's development. I'm gonna start planning for it very soon, possibly by the end of this week, and I think I might end up going on a week long hiatus just so I can catch up on my chapters and stuff but idk if that's gonna happen. But yus, I like your idea and I think it should definitely come into play somehow. Plus, I've been looking for an opportunity to insert some jealous Steve. And there's just no nice names! I picked the worst possible name. Let's just call their ship name Hot Chocolate or something.**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, oh my god this was so nice to read thank you so much, thank you for leaving me reviews on the chapters, they're what drive me to write so it's really down to you! Thank you!**

 **To Guest, whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat I confirm nothing and deny nothing. And you're right, but then there's also the point that a lot of other people have made about her wanting to right all her wrongs which is also right. Maybe, in the end, she won't actually get a choice on who's side she's on.**

 **To juli 8D1819, thank you so much! I'm happy you enjoyed it so much!**

 **To BrittStar1199, I have no idea what H.A.M stands for but still I absolutely love reading your comments, so sassy and yet also so very wise!**

 **To LoveFiction2018, thank you!**

 **To Sara, I am feeling better thank you! And, to be honest, I'm incredibly proud of this story. I know in a few years I might look back on this and cringe but honestly I've never felt so passionate towards a project and been so in love with a character I've made. And like, all the great people who leave reviews like yourself are so kind and so amazing and it really helps me get through the day having both this story and all of you reviewers. So yes, thank you again. And I'm really bad when it comes to foreshadowing and putting in easter eggs, like you can find at least two things in every chapter I post lol.**

 **And a big thanks to everyone that read the chapter, whilst I'm in a bit of a cheesy mood I might as well just add that I reached over 50,000 readers today and it blew my mind. To know that there are that many people who've even so much as given my story a try is literally keeping me going rn. People may have seen previously me mention about my abuse and my current situation, I'm living in a hostel because I had abusive parents that kicked me out and left me with literally _nothing,_ literally all I have rn is this story, and I'm not going to go into everything for obvious reasons but I just want you guys to know you've done so much for me, you've given me confidence and kept me writing even on my darkest days. Even just by reading you're doing so much for me. So thank you, I mean that as sincerely as I possibly can, _thank you_. **


	63. Chapter Sixty

**CHAPTER SIXTY**

* * *

" _I'm not very good at making specific plans. Just meet me under the sky somewhere and be alive with me."_

― _**Victoria Erickson**_

* * *

Though it had been well over a year since he was last at Rodeway Motel, it still looked exactly the same. The place seemed to be exactly like how he remembered, sticking with its outdated design and refusing to change for a more up-to-date look. As though it wanted to be the most cliche motel of them all, it had outside of it a pink and blue neon sign that displayed its name, flickering and causing Steve's eyes to ache the longer he stared at it.

He'd arrived on his motorbike by 11:30, probably having broken a few speeding laws which he knew was dumb considering he was meant to arrive at the motel alone and with no one by his side, especially not the police, but he was just so excited to see Amelia again. And nervous. He was also _extremely_ nervous. The soldier felt as though he was a frayed mess, a piece of rope that had become unravelled and useless, a mess of threads on a dirty floor and yet, at the same time, he'd never felt so alive, the fear causing his pulse to pound behind his ears and his heart to bray with the might of a speeding horse, his eyes were wide and his world was lit up once again. He was going to see her again, _her_ , not whatever person she'd pretended to be earlier that day at the warehouse.

The room, number eight, wasn't at all difficult for the soldier to find as it was an important room for both Amelia and Steve. He had to walk in through the main entrance of the building and pass the front office to enter a hallway that stretched far. His room was near the end, his walk down that hallway feeling almost never ending as each of his steps against the hardwood floor echoed the expanse of the claustrophobic space, the only sound as nothing could be heard coming from any of the other rooms. Or maybe there was. But Steve couldn't hear anything other than his thoughts that were covering the walls of his mind like a thick paint.

He didn't even realize when he got to the room. His body had stopped and his eyes were fixed on the polished brown door with a golden number '8' painted fancily on the front, but his mind had to play catch up before he could even think about opening the door.

Steve knew he couldn't place all of his eggs in one basket. He knew that their little rendezvous was the perfect time for Amelia to trap him and that's why he needed to be more careful and not immediately allow himself to fall into Amelia's arms, as much as his fingers ached to feel her burning flesh once again. The last time he'd put all of his faith entirely on his girl being _his girl_ , he'd ended up with a stab wound to his stomach and he didn't exactly want to go through that again.

He'd give her an opportunity to explain herself, not an opportunity to hurt him.

With that decision in mind, he brought the key that Peggy had given him out of his pants pocket, the precious item seeming far too small in his hand considering it opened up something outstandingly important. With shaking fingers and sweating palms, he raised the key up to the round door knob and pushed the end of it into the door, his breathing momentarily coming to a stop as he twisted the key. Seconds later there was a click, signaling to Steve that the door had been unlocked and that he could now enter.

But he didn't know if he wanted to enter anymore. The entire way there all he'd been thinking about was that Amelia was on his side again and that he'd been right and that he was moments away from being able to hold his girl with apocalypses for eyes and tasting the stars as he kissed her and feeling the warmth of love embrace him in a welcome back hug, not a snake under summer grass kind of warm but an arrow after its just been released kind of warm. He'd been so enthralled in envisioning his shadow girl curled up in his arms so much that he'd forgotten to look at all the other possible things that could happen when he set foot in that room.

Earlier she'd quite easily displayed her power to Steve, taking out all those she used to call a friend. He couldn't just expect her to be a friendly face anymore.

He tightened his jaw before entering the room, all of his muscles turning sharp as he prepared himself for whatever could be behind the door. Again, his movements started to feel slow, or was it the world around him that was slowing down as he pushed open the door to the motel room. Immediately he was hit by the lime green wallpaper that had made him feel slightly sick even when he first entered the room all that time ago.

And then, sat rigidly on the bed which came with a matching green bed set, was his Amelia. And he knew it was his Amelia just from the way she looked at him. When Steve had first entered she'd been staring at the door with a hardened gaze, her eyebrows pushed together, causing wrinkles to appear on her forehead as she thought over something dark and clearly foul, but the moment he'd stepped into her line of sight her expression immediately softened. And Steve loved the way that she always did that when she saw him, like the way that she looked at him was different to the way she'd look at everyone else in the world.

It felt like years since he saw her, but there she was. The girl he loved. A little bit messy and a little bit ruined. A beautiful disaster. Just like him.

They were silent, but their thoughts were loud, filling up the small hotel room like gigantic roaring beasts, squishing Steve and Amelia and keeping them locked in their places. 'I miss you,' they screamed. 'I love you,' they yelled. 'Why?' They begged.

Amelia had almost not turned up that night, knowing full well that she'd broken the one man she'd loved for the sake of something she wasn't even sure was worth it. And then she'd feel even more guilty, because of course it was worth it, it was the lives of the Avengers and countless other people. But she'd just wished that maybe she could become amoral again, but at the same time still love Steve, and she'd wished that they could go find a farm just like Clint's to hide on and disappear from the rest of the world. But of course, she couldn't be both amoral and in love, because morals and love were dancing partners doing an eternal tango and not even Amelia with her black lightning fingertips could get in the way of that union.

In order to get to the motel, she'd left a note under Rebecca's door after the doctor fell asleep to let her know that she'd gone out for some food. Knowing that as soon as Rebecca woke up, she'd try to track Amelia down using the phone, she'd dropped her phone off at a mcdonalds, hiding it in a safe place so it didn't get stolen. It would give her a few hours, that's all she knew. Amelia just didn't know if a few hours would be enough for her to convey to Steve just how _sorry_ she was.

And as she sat on that bed, across from her perfect blond soldier, she knew that not even an eternity would be enough time.

Not knowing where to start, she waited for Steve to speak first, content with just wringing her hands together in her lap, her entire body suddenly feeling out of place beneath his ever-watchful gaze. He was looking at her with love in his eyes, love that she'd thought she would detest because of all the guilt that swirled inside of her, but that love in his eyes wasn't a punishment it was forgiveness and a chance and a hello and a 'take off your mask, it's okay, take off your mask' all in one blue eyed gaze so instead of feeling detest she felt like maybe the world made a little bit more sense again.

Steve saw that same love in her eyes too, but in her gaze, she was begging for forgiveness, it was clear as day, sparkling in the waters that buried in the corner of her eye, threatening to spill at the slightest instigation. And there was also fear, he knew it was fear that he'd never forgive her but he'd told her countless times that he always would and he didn't mind having to repeat it a few hundred more times because he loved her and he was willing to carry all her broken parts, loving each individual piece.

But first, he had to know why. Why she wounded him, Natasha and Sam. Why she stole Pandora's box. Why she killed all those people. Why she _left_ him. So that was his first question, a simple, soft-spoken: "Why?"

Amelia was still reserved though, still scared that no matter what reason she gave Steve it would never be a good enough reason for terminating all those lives, for going back on her word, for hurting him. The soldier saw that reservation in her so he took a step closer, filling the distance that both of them hated but knew was necessary. "What could they possibly offer you that was worth all of this?" He gestured between the two of them, to the space that kept them apart, because to him that was the worst thing that suffered since Amelia went rogue. Them, their love, whatever cheesy thing you wanted to call it, it had been strained almost to breaking point by the distance _she_ had put between them both physically and emotionally.

Her bottom lip began to wobble and Steve had to do everything in his power to look at her lips and not be filled with an uncontrollable desire to kiss her again. She stood up, mouth opening as apologies waited to spill from her tongue but she knew that wasn't what Steve wanted to hear. He wanted to hear the truth. She stepped closer to him, and gently, almost afraid to touch him in case he broke apart in her fingers like dust in wind, Amelia touched his cheek. And that was her answer.

"You," she whispered, her gentle touch becoming a caress as her fears went away because he was solid beneath her fingertips, solid and strong and not so easily breakable. "I got to keep you safe." She would have done anything for that.

And that was all Steve needed to hear. Because his love had been walking back and forth in his soul like a caged tiger waiting for freedom once again and his freedom was Amelia, back in his arms, her lips against his, her breath mingling with his, her soul connected with his so tightly that to pull it apart one would need a chainsaw. He needed her.

And, oh god, did she need him too. Like a disciple that needs religion in order to carry on, she wanted to pray at his knees and wash her sins off in all of his light and moan gospel around his fingers because he was an angel, and though his touch burned her demonic flesh the pain was purity in its finest form and she wanted more, more, _more_.

Amelia's hands rose up to his hair that he'd allowed to grow and she grabbed the ends like she'd grabbed his heart. Steve pulled her hips closer to his like the tides and he taught her why the moon floods a beach at midnight. They reminded each other how to breathe by making each other breathless. Their love was tender, their love was reckless, their love was everything.

Her legs automatically came to wrap around his waist, Steve's hands moving a little further down as their lips connected and never parted. He walked forward, gently placing her down on the bed and crawling on top of her. Her body was trapped between his chest and the bed and it was claustrophobic but she did not once think of the pit that haunted her every waking and sleeping moment, all she thought was that Steve's roaming hands were leaving trails of delicious blue fire across her skin, covering her in love, ignoring all the red. He loved her, he loved her, oh god, he _loved_ her.

They loved each other that night, intimately. Steve shredding his clothes entirely and Amelia half expected him to reveal amber wings behind his back and the halo she knew he carried. When it was time for her to strip, he did it carefully, every single touch gentle and soft, removing the layers that covered her scars until she was completely open and naked. There was a moment of fear, fear of the intimacy and fear of Steve seeing her entirely. All the scars, all the burns, she wondered if he could see all of the red. But he did not show that he did, instead, he kissed every scar, every burn, every inch of flesh until there was nothing left on her but _him_.

She knew that God, if he was real, would be turning away that night because one of his brightest and holiest of angels put his halo aside to make room for an even purer light. The light of Amelia Stark. He'd loved the stars and he'd loved her, and Steve felt sorry for the universe because it simply did not compare.

Though, perhaps God might actually forgive them for that particular sin as Steve in all his purity, cleansed Amelia's black skin of all its past immoral acts. And that act, that cleansing, their love, Amelia wondered if perhaps God would actually be quite proud that his creations had conjured up such a powerful connection. It made more sense. Amelia couldn't see how something as light and overwhelming and _brilliant_ as their love, could ever be wrong.

There love that night was a ceremony which no scripture had prepared them for. The pair embodying seraphims as they drowned themselves in eternal flames, the kind of burn Icarus had begged for as he flew up to the sun. Intoxication was found in their hands that kissed hymns against flesh. A place of worship was found between Amelia's legs and that's where all of Steve's prayers were spoken. Divinity was found colouring Steve's cheeks, the same shade as her wicked tongue. Damnation was so, so easy that night. Their only sacrifice was their skin that came together in the holiest of unions, their hands never parting and their eyes never straying, Amelia reminded why blue was her favourite colour and Steve reminded that there was more light to be found in the colour black than what people tell you.

Amelia lost something that night, but she gained a new world. Steve brought it to her in his aged palms, something that he'd built through all of his years in the war, through all of his struggles and happy moments, it was his heart. And it was hers. Only hers.

She got to discover that red didn't always mean blood and death, sometimes it meant a heat only Steve could give her. Love. Sometimes red meant love. Amelia only ever wanted to see that shade of red.

* * *

 _Worn from their travels, Amelia, Sam and Steve arrived at the Rodeway Motel, jetlagged and starved. Freckles had taken initiative, deciding for the group herself that they'd return to America, get the files they needed and then go search Germany for Bucky or signs of Bucky. Steve had been more forgiving than usual, allowing Amelia to take over momentarily as he understood she was simply trying to avoid the celebration him and Sam had told her about. But she had no idea what the soldier had up his sleeve, or, in his room._

 _They all picked up their pre-ordered keys from the office, Amelia pretending she was being sly by not asking for her own key because she wanted to sleep in Steve's room that night. He knew, but it was a very special day so he was going to allow her duplicitous ways for once._

 _Once they had the keys it was time to go to bed, both Steve and Sam complaining about how tired they felt. "Shouldn't we go over the plan one last time?" She asked the two soldiers, voice vibrant with more energy than either of the men were able to conjure, "that's what we normally do."_

 _Amelia was tired as well, but she was trying to avoid thinking at all costs. They'd all told her what the day meant so it was all she'd been thinking about. S_ _he'd been doing pretty well at avoiding that particular train of thought, playing a lame version of 'I, spy' with both Sam and Steve on the plane, but she knew as soon as her head hit the pillow she'd just be woken up with horrible whispers of how much she didn't deserve a celebration of her life. She needed to tire herself out more before she did that, in hopes that maybe she'd instantly fall asleep._

 _Sam looked to Steve, eyebrows squishing together as his face fell desperate, "please, man, I really need to just go into a coma right now."_

 _Steve gave a short laugh, "you're fine. We'll just go to bed." Looking back over to Amelia, she allowed her shoulders to fall and her nerves to become visual momentarily. "Unless, is something wrong, Freckles?" Though he hadn't intended for it be, Amelia felt as though his words were a challenge to her, like he wanted her to dare speak about all her worries because he knew how much she hated mentioning them, especially when her past was such an issue._

 _Her past was filled with just too much darkness that she wasn't ready for Steve to know about, she liked being able to pretend as though her scars were wings._

" _No, of course not," the brunette relinquished, voice unusually quiet and defeated but she just hoped they chalked it up to her being jet lagged as well. So as to stop her friends from asking any further questions, she walked further down the hallway towards room number eight, the room that they'd be staying in for the next week or so._

 _She had a bag over her shoulder that still had plenty of room in it to fill. Amelia didn't own a lot of things as she was slowly but surely building up her possessions, which had been weird at first, because she'd realised that a person was allowed to own more things than just weapons. She'd started making a book of all the foods she wanted to eat and try to make, but that was about the only thing she owned other than a few clothes that all used to belong to Nat, some shirts that she'd stolen from Sam and Steve because she liked to wear outfits that didn't hug her skin so tightly. The tightness already reminded her of the pit._

 _Amelia didn't really have anything that was just hers, but she tried not to dwell on it. She was well aware of the space between who she was and who she wanted to be, it was wide and long, with some jagged edges spiked across the path, but she was trying to not fear that path and it was a lot easier with Steve and Sam by her side._

" _Hey," Steve called as she was halfway to the door, making her turn around. He held up the key to the door, throwing it to her once he was sure she'd catch it._

 _Amelia caught them and finished the rest of her way down the hallway, unlocking the door and opening it to reveal disgusting lime green walls that hurt her eyes._

 _She was completely unaware of Sam and Steve walking up behind her, both of them with small, knowing, smiles playing on their lips, all tiredness suddenly wiped from their expressions. Her attention was completely taken by the horrifying green which filled her vision, she continued to stare at it as she entered the room further, not noticing that there was someone else already inside waiting for her._

" _Surprise!" A familiar female called from Amelia's left, forcing the brunette to drop her bag on the floor and turn with wide eyes, hands raised ready for a fight though they settled back down to her side once she realised it was none other than Natasha Romanoff._

 _The brunette released a loud yelp, uncaringly jumping across the bed to reach her favourite redhead so she could wrap her up in a tight hug. "Oh my god!" She squealed, yes,_ _ **squealed**_ _. It had been so long since she'd seen Nat, though they'd had plenty of phone conversations which were always great and really helpful for Amelia. Nat had become her best friend in the space of only a few months and Amelia had been wanting to spend time with her so much, she never expected her wish to come true in America because she'd been told that Nat had also left the country._

" _Alright, don't squeeze me too hard, you'll kill me," Nat fake wheezed, causing Amelia to momentarily panic and let go of her. Realising her mistake, Natasha reprimanded herself internally, deciding to fix the issue by pulling Amelia back into her arms in her own tight hug._

 _They laughed together, the chuckles filling the room and filling Steve and Sam's face in laughter as they both settled inside room number eight._

 _Once the two girls were done hugging, Amelia pulled away but kept her friend at a touching distance, "what are you doing here?"_

 _Natasha smirked, "well I wasn't going to miss your birthday."_

 _At the mention of that particular day her incessant bouncing halted and the smile curving her lips disappeared like a sand castle under a tide, a mess of the original shape remaining as Amelia tried to hide how much she hated that particular day._

 _Sam had called it a celebration of her life, but her life wasn't anything to celebrate. Not after all the killing she'd done. In some ways, Amelia didn't even think she deserved to have a life. Sometimes that was all she'd be able to think about._

 _Seeing the way Amelia had mellowed, Steve stepped forward, dropping his own rucksack down onto the bed so he could use the empty hand to press against Amelia's clothed back. Her black eyes spun to look at him, and he directed attention to a banner that had been put up by Natasha, the banner stating 'Happy 1st Birthday, Freckles!'. It was above a table that had a huge spread covering it, loads of paper bowls filled with different types of candy and in the middle was a birthday cake with one candle stuck into it._

" _I know you don't want to celebrate your life, not AS09's," Steve began to explain, "which is why we're not doing that. We're celebrating Freckles' life right now, and it just so happens to be her first birthday today."_

 _The brunette bit down on her lip, still looking quite reserved and against the plan. Sam stepped forward, joining the group beside the spread Nat had made. "You're not who you once were," he reminded her, "you're changing into someone else, someone better than who you once were. And this is a celebration for that person, who has earnt it. Plus, I don't know about you, but that cake looks delicious and I wouldn't want to turn it down."_

 _Both him and Amelia eyed the extremely chocolatey cake, their stomachs growling at them to eat it as they'd had nothing but airplane food to keep them going. She began to shake her head slowly side to side, unable to immediately make a decision. In the end, it took her having to look at Steve, and see the way he gazed at her like she was worth something now, to make her decide that, yes, Freckles birthday should be celebrated._

" _Fine," the way she said the word was like she didn't want to, but the smile on her face made her happy disposition clear to them._

" _Good," Nat huffed, picking up a lighter, "because this was really hard to sort out under such short notice."_

 _The redhead looked pointedly at Steve who shrugged innocently back at her, and Amelia raised one eyebrow at their behavior. "Steve told you to do this?"_

 _There it was again. That weird skip in her heartbeat._

" _It's no big deal, I just want you to have a special day," again Steve shrugged his shoulders, trying to downplay the effort he'd gone to but Nat at least knew the truth. He'd rung her up the day before, telling her to get back to America and listed everything she needed to get Amelia to make sure she was happy, the effort he'd put into the small party had almost made her sick to her stomach. It was so damn clear how much he liked her._

" _It is a big deal," Amelia retorted, slipping her arms around him so that she could hug him tightly, not caring about the rule he'd made that she couldn't just hold his hand and hug him and touch him whenever she wanted because it felt like that was the best time to be doing such things._

 _It was much more than a big deal, what he'd done, sorting out the little party despite her obvious reservations, pushing her to celebrate the new life she had and not look back at AS09's dark and bloody past, it was so much more than just a big deal._

 _He was making her be okay with living despite the sins that burdened her._

 _It was getting to her a lot more than she'd care to admit recently. Pierce was appearing more often as were the thoughts that told her that she wasn't worth the air she got to breathe, that told her the world would be a much better place without her in it._

 _If she didn't have so many restraints on her emotions, Amelia probably would have broken down in the soldier's arms then and there._

 _It had been so long since she felt one hundred percent sure that she wanted to be alive and experiencing that spectacular moment was overwhelming._

" _Thank you," she pronounced the words as earnestly as she could and thankfully Steve felt that profoundness in her words clutch his heart, making him tighten his own arms around her._

" _You're welcome," he whispered back into her ear._

" _Okay, come on," Nat interrupted, lifting up the large chocolate cake both Amelia and Sam had been eyeing up, "it's tradition for a person to blow out a candle on their birthday cake and make a wish."_

" _A wish?" Everyone in the room nodded to answer her question. "What do I wish for?"_

" _Anything you want," Sam offered._

" _Yeah," Steve said in agreement to Sam's answer, "you just can't tell us afterward or it won't come true."_

 _It seemed a bit strange to Amelia but kissing had been a strange concept at first as well, so she decided to give it a go. It took her a moment to figure out what she wanted, her first thought was that she should wish for her and Steve to become boyfriend and girlfriend but Steve had already pretty much confirmed that it would eventually happen so she decided to wish for something that was a little bit more impossible, at least in her eyes._

' _I wish that, one day, I become Amelia Stark'. She repeated the words twice in her head, just to make sure that whatever granted the wishes heard her loud and clear, then she blew out the candle, the simple act earning an applause from both of her men, them even going as far as whooping for her._

 _Both Nat and Amelia shook their heads at their theatrical behaviour, Nat busying herself with putting the cake back down on the table and beginning to cut it into slices for everyone._

" _Alright, time for presents," Steve announced, leaving Amelia's side so he could reach into his slightly thicker rucksack and pull from it something wrapped in newspaper, the bow that wrapped around it Amelia recognised as one of the ties on from a dressing gown they'd been given in one of the European hotels_

" _Presents?" She eyed what Steve had carefully, staring at it with such a piercing gaze that Steve wondered if she was trying to see through the newspaper._

" _Another tradition for birthdays," Sam explained, the first to accept a paper plate and plastic fork from Nat so he could eat his slice of cake._

" _Right, okay," Amelia had many questions that she wanted to ask but she didn't want to come across any more stupid than she already was. It's the one thing about integrating into normal human ways that frustrated her most. There was always something that she didn't understand or just couldn't wrap her mind around completely, and it made her feel like such an outcast, she'd started to prefer just pretending like she did understand. Sometimes her friends would notice and they'd be kind enough to not comment on it and simply work in a better explanation, always earning a grateful smile from Amelia when they did so._

 _She shook her head, reminding herself that she was at a celebration, celebrating Freckles first year in the world and just like any growing human, Amelia needed to realise that of course she wasn't going to understand everything the first time. She needed to stop concentrating on how irritating it was to be the only one not to know something, and start concentrating on the joy of discovering such new and wondrous things, like ice-cream, and her birthday party, and whatever it was inside the bundle of newspaper._

 _It was thick, that was all she could really tell from the square-ish bundle. It was solid but not like steel, it kind of looked like a pillow. The blond soldier handed it over to her with both nervousness and excitement. When it dropped into her hand she found that it wasn't particularly heavy, nor was it particularly light. The present was captivating her interest more and more and soon enough there was nothing her friends could do to stop her from untying the bathrobe bow and pulling apart the newspaper._

 _As the paper unraveled, she finally saw what the present was. A leather jacket._

" _Wait… no way..." Her mouth had dropped open as she unfolded it, having to do a double take to make sure that it was actually a leather jacket. It was something she'd been hoping to get for a while, everytime she passed someone on a street wearing one she'd stop and stare and marvel at how badass they looked. The people that wore leather jackets looked invincible, like not even a knife could cut through their skin, especially not words and memories. She'd told Steve about it, but she'd never expected him to actually get her one, especially when he'd told her that they'd need to save up for it seen as a decent leather jacket was a tad too expensive, and most of their money was already going on motels and stuff._

 _She felt the leather beneath her fingers, her new armour._

 _Her happiness wasn't containable in that moment and she was bouncing on her feet again, bouncing all the way over to Steve so that she could pull him down into another hug that he happily accepted. "Steve, oh my god!"_

 _Her hug surrounded him with a warmth that Steve could quite easily call home, but he tried to not distract himself, tried to ignore the thoughts of her lips that always seemed to play a song in his ears. "So, you like it then?"_

" _Like it? I love it!" Amelia yelled as she released him, Sam and Nat watching the two interact with mischievous smiles on their chocolate covered lips. The brunette began to put the leather jacket on, one sleeve at a time, shrugging it on the rest of the way and enjoying the feel of the smooth leather against her skin. On the shoulder pads were small studs and the rest of the leather jacket seemed to have zips thrown about it, even on her sleeves. And though she knew at some point she'd probably get confused by the zips, Amelia was so overjoyed by the present. "I'll never take it off!"_

" _Well, maybe take it off once or twice so we can wash it," he suggested, half jokingly and half serious as he'd learnt that Amelia wasn't the cleanest of people._

" _Fine," she rolled her eyes at him, proceeding to do a twirl to show off the leather jacket to him, "how do I look?"_

" _Beautiful," the response was probably far too quick but Steve didn't feel shy about it, "you look beautiful."_

* * *

Amelia let out a long sigh, content against Steve's side, flesh pressed against flesh. Her hand was rubbing across his naked chest, drawing different patterns mindlessly. On the wall across from her there was a clock that she'd been watching with bated breath ever since her and Steve started cuddling, both of them hindered after the 'exercise' they'd just done. She'd been hypnotised by the hands of the clock, waiting for them to get in a certain position. The second the hands moved to midnight, Amelia felt a weight appear in her belly where only moments ago there had been a delightful warmth.

"It's past midnight," she mumbled, voice airy and brimming with tiredness, "it's my birthday."

* * *

 **A/N: Credit to my friend Chelsie who helped me out when writing the sexy part of this chapter!**

 **I just finished writing chapter 64 btw, part three has one of my most favourite endings tbh. Of course I'm biased cause this is my own plot but _DAMN._ I hope you guys enjoy the next few chapters as much as I enjoyed writing them!**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, I gotta disagree with you there, there are plenty of chapters I'm not a fan of and plenty of things I wish I could change. Like there's a continuity error where in chapter 43 Steve gets a head wound from being knocked into some crates, but then in chapter 58 he opens up a wound that was already there and healing. BUT THANK YOU FOR THE 'WAY WITH WORDS' PART, like, so fucking much.**

 **To LoveFiction2018, thank you!**

 **To CrispyCoconut, Ikr! Set photos show old Steve, like in his uniform and stuff, so I've been wondering that too. Obviously that won't happen in this fanfic because Steve's loyalties lie with Amelia now but it'll definitely be interesting to write. And omg thank you for being here so long! Sometimes I worry that it's gone from good to bad but if you've stuck around than I must be doing pretty well, yeah? Thank you again!**

 **To Sam0728, omgomgomg thank you so much!**

 **To FireflyDarkness, I want to write more scenes with Sam, I feel like he doesn't get enough credit. Yes it makes sense! And tbh I've been thinking about it but I can't say for certain yet. I'm gonna start planning for Civil War this week though so we'll see :)**

 **To BrittStar1199, oh hell yeah, Amelia goes HAM on anyone that dares to even look at Steve the wrong way. And I'm working on trying to include more Tony/Amelia scenes rn because I agree with you, it's been stolen from them for far too long, they need to bond some more. And yes I did, thank you for reminding me and breaking my heart all over again.**

 **To Guest, it's always interesting hearing your viewpoint and you make some very convincing arguments. I wish I could confirm things for ya but you'll just have to wait and see again. Thanks for telling me all this though, it's really interesting. And SAME, I just want everyone to be happy and a family again.**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, this comment made me feel so happy and I wish I could put it into words how grateful I am but all I can say is thank you and I'll be sure to say it everytime I talk to you cause thank you you're really too kind. Stelia 09 does sound cool, but it's so long, and the point of a ship name is to shorten it down. I was just thinking what if we mixed Steve's first name with her last name but I realised that it would just be Stark lol. Or Sterk.**

 **And a gargantuan thank you to everyone that read the chapter!**


	64. Chapter Sixty-One

**CHAPTER SIXTY-ONE**

* * *

" _Be softer with you. You are a breathing thing. A memory to someone. A home to a life."_

― _**Nayyirah Waheed**_

* * *

Amelia let out a long sigh, content against Steve's side, flesh pressed against flesh. Her hand was rubbing across his naked chest, drawing different patterns mindlessly. On the wall across from her there was a clock that she'd been watching with bated breath ever since her and Steve started cuddling, both of them hindered after the 'exercise' they'd just done. She'd been hypnotised by the hands of the clock, waiting for them to get in a certain position. The second the hands moved to midnight, Amelia felt a weight appear in her belly where only moments ago there had been a delightful warmth.

"It's past midnight," she mumbled, voice airy and brimming with tiredness, "it's my birthday."

Her soldier bent his head slightly so that he could kiss the top of her head, seemingly unsatisfied with just that as he began to spin his entire body around, pulling her so they were chest to chest and then he kissed her, passionately. He'd decided to make up for all the minutes they were away from each other, and Amelia didn't mind it one bit.

Their lips parted, Amelia needing to breath sooner than Steve did as every time he kissed her she became breathless, her soul dying over and over again because it just couldn't believe that Steve still loved her. There was no way for her to deny that love anymore, not after the things he'd just done to her.

"I'm sorry your birthday has to start out like this," he murmured, lips stroking against hers.

Amelia instantly began to shake her head, "no," she denied resolutely, "this is perfect."

They both closed their eyes as they began to kiss again, far too many emotions building up in them and the only way to get them out was to share them between each other and it was okay because in that moment they were the safest place in existence. Their union that night had confirmed that, for the both of them.

And she wanted to stay there with him for the rest of eternity, in Steve Roger's arms, the only place she would ever feel completely safe. But she couldn't. She knew from earlier observations that Rebecca woke up in fits due to nightmares, there was no way of planning when she'd get up, meaning Ameli's disappearance was already a huge risk. She couldn't waste any more time. She had to leave Steve, again.

She pushed her hand down against his chest, frowning, "I have to go."

"No," he refused, almost like a child. He moved his lips down to her neck, as though his lips and hands hadn't already covered every inch of skin she had.

"Steve, I'm sorry," Amelia spoke with more determination, trying to let him know with her tone that was no other option and that she didn't like it either.

His lips paused in the crook of her neck and he sighed, for a moment he kept his head there, hugging her, and then he pulled away, a sadness mixing with desperation coloring his eyes rainy day blue. "Don't go," he begged, and when she moved to argue, he just spoke over her, "please. Let's just, for once, choose ourselves. Whatever's going on, let's let them deal with it and let us just be us."

She smiled at his words, not a happy smile though, it was sad, and it spoke words she couldn't bring herself to say. No. They couldn't do that, they couldn't just run away, and she knew that Steve wouldn't even be able to do it despite trying to plan it. She licked at her lips, loving how they tasted of Steve,

"I need to get back, or she'll set off a bomb that will blow up the facility and everyone in it," there it was, she thought, the truth, finally. It had been playing on the back of her mind and she was glad to finally have it off her chest, glad to finally be not the only one carrying the weight of it.

The soldier's hands dropped down from her shoulder, her words a shock to him. A bomb? That explained why she'd done everything. She'd had no choice. Though that thought caused him rage, it was also ointment to his gaping wounds that were caused by the knife which was his girl's betrayal. It had never been betrayal. _It had never been betrayal_. "Who?"

"Rebecca Kaplan."

That name wasn't the one he'd been hoping to hear, he didn't even realise that he'd been hoping for a specific person's name. It wasn't really a specific person. It was anyone, _someone_ that he could tear apart like a wooden log, someone he had no connection to, a Hydra agent perhaps.

Amelia let the name sink in for Steve, knowing it would be just as shocking for him as it would be for her. To fill the time, she fell out of his arms and got out of the bed, beginning to dress herself once again, wondering momentarily if her past lust was a fragrance permanently on her body, if what she'd done was another scar on her body for people to see. She wanted it to be a scar. It would be her most beautiful scar.

"She had a family before… before I came around. When we were trying to take down Hydra, her twin sons and husband were one of the many SHIELD agents that died. That's why she's doing this." The brunette tried to free all emotion from her voice, that way she could seem uncaring and less vulnerable. But Steve could hear the slightest tremor in her voice, his soul so much a part of hers that they ran at the same frequency.

Sitting up, he reached out with one hand and began to rub it up and down her spine, it was such a simple touch yet she'd missed it so much. "You shouldn't blame yourself."

'Who says I was?' That's what she wanted to reply with, she wanted to grace her face with a smile and make a cattish remark but it was Steve, she had to learn that with Steve she could be her real self. So she just smiled gratefully, willing his words to crush all permeating thoughts about her being the one to blame,

"So, I'm guessing you didn't just organise this meeting so you could… you know…" He made a rolling gesture with his hand, a blush covering his cheek that was familiar but Amelia had never truly known what it was for until after Nat had 'the talk' with her.

"Sex you up?" She openly said the words, looking quite cheeky as she did so, "no, but I don't regret doing it."

"Neither do I," Steve agreed, "it was amazing. You were amazing. I was pretty good, I think, was I pretty good? Not that you have to tell me. I don't really care that much. No, wait, I do care, about you I mean. I care about you a lot and I think what we just did was important and please say something so I can stop talking."

Her laugh was the best song he'd ever heard and he didn't care how flustered he got once he heard that sweet melody. "Steve," she leaned forward, placing her hand on the back of his head so that she could pull him back towards her marshmallow lips, "you were _perfect_."

Amelia had always been told by Steve that perfect wasn't something attainable, that advertisements just used that word to get people to buy their products, that perfection was one of humanity's greatest enemy. He didn't seem to realise that he was perfect. Every inch of him. Body, mind, soul, it was all just _perfect_.

She parted from him once again, having already put her long-sleeved sweatshirt on she moved onto her pants which she had to shuffle around quite a bit to pull up. "I brought you here to try and sort out a plan, and to let you know of the bomb. And apologise." Amelia turned serious then, dropping her hands from the button of her jeans momentarily so she could look at her soldier sincerely, "because I am so fucking sorry Steve."

Seeing the tears appear in her eyes, Steve jumped up from the bed to join her side, pulling his underwear on during his journey over to her and then he wrapped her up in his arms, trying to let her know that no matter what she did, he wasn't going to go anywhere. He wasn't going to leave her. He wasn't going to give up on her and he _was_ going to be there every single time she needed him to be. She could doubt it as much as she wanted. She could try to push him away, try and give him a million reasons to leave. But he wouldn't. Because she was the only reason he'd ever need to stay.

"It's okay," he kissed the crown of her head, "I told you already, I forgive you."

"I know," she nuzzled his chest, trying to hide her tears, "but you've already given me one chance before. And I failed that. What if I'm not- not worthy or- or just not good enough for another one."

"Getting a second chance is a privilege, you don't get to turn it down." He was upfront with her, knowing fruity words wouldn't sway her icy emotions. Steve walked away from her then, going to his pants and pulling something from his pockets. When he returned back to Amelia's side he showed her the bracelets that Bruce and Tony had made her. "Take these," he ordered, though he didn't speak to her like a soldier, no, there was far too much softness tainting his tone, "they've got a tracker in them. Go back to Rebecca and sit tight, I'll come get you there after I get everyone out of the facility. No one will get hurt."

Steve was giving her a plan so that she didn't run away anymore, knowing situations like the one she was in always called forth the flight response from her.

Her fingers slowly wrapped around the bracelets, once her fingertips touched them she felt herself being reminded of much happier times, times when she'd be in Tony's lab and they'd be laughing over something.

Tony. She wasn't sure he'd so easily forgive her like Steve had.

Still, she couldn't concentrate on that. Steve was right, this was her second chance and she couldn't allow her fears over not being good enough get in the way of that. If she wanted her family to be safe, if she wanted to still be a part of that family, then she'd have to fight for it. Taking the bracelets from him, she slowly slipped them around her wrist, being sure to cover them with the sleeves of her sweatshirt so that when she returned to Rebecca, the doctor wouldn't get suspicious.

Once she was done putting the bracelets back onto herself, she splayed her hands out across Steve's chest, the simple touch suddenly not feeling like enough now that she knew all the things they could be doing.

"I'm sorry I put you through this," she muttered, eyes focusing on where her fingers trailed across his skin.

The soldier put a finger under her chin, forcing her head back up so she would look into his eyes and see him. Really see him. See that he wasn't so easily breakable, and neither was their connection. He smiled down at her, and she returned it though it looked a little more painful for her to do, so he decided to make it easier. Attacking her lips once again. Pecking them repeatedly until they were bent upwards in a smile and she was releasing giggles, trying to swat him away as his sloppy lips seemed to hit everywhere but the center of her own. "Stop apologising," he said, voice chipper, "you're here now and that is what matters most. Okay?" She didn't respond, making him harden his glare on her, "okay?" He repeated.

Like an angsty teenager she rolled her eyes at him, "okay," she sighed. "Can I go now?"

It was Steve's turn to go silent. He wasn't ready to let her go again, in fact, being away from her was quickly becoming one of his biggest fears considering the one time he did leave her side ended up with him getting kidnapped, beaten and then Amelia blackmailed. His hands tightened around her waist, keeping her close to him. He needed her there with him. But he needed to think like a leader, not a lover. "Just… promise me you'll be safe."

Her hands moved up from his chest, crawling up his neck, smoothing over his stubbled chin and settling where his hairline ended. "I think we both need to be more careful about what we promise each other," Amelia responded, Steve frowning at her words, the frown meant more for the truth carried by her words rather than the fact that she wouldn't promise him her safety. Before he'd left for his mission, he'd far too easily promised that he'd return and they'd spend the next day in bed together. He'd taught her that promises needed to be made carefully, with a lot of consideration put into each one, but he'd done the exact opposite of that.

He agreed with her, "you're right. So, how about this, I promise you that I love you, and I always will."

It was hard for her to not feel uplifted by his words, "and I promise you that I love you, and I always will," Amelia repeated.

In the world they lived in, in the life they lead, there wasn't much room for promises. But their love, their connection, that was the one constant thing in a world of irregularities and perfidy, their one assurance. And in that moment, it was enough. It gave them the strength they needed to take on the world.

Amelia left the motel room that night feeling stronger than ever, practically daring the world with just her walk to take her on because Steve had made her feel invincible again. Before, she felt as though her love was a weakness, an open wound for anyone to freely stab at, but after being with him she knew that it didn't make her weak. It had never made her weak. It had given her the strength to kill again, it had given her the strength to fight, Rebecca would be sorry soon enough.

That's what she thought, anyway. But Amelia had no idea what would be waiting for her when she arrived back to her room.

She'd stopped off at McDonald's to retrieve her phone and returned to the motel soon after. She passed Rebecca's room, seeing that the light was off, she thought that the doctor was still fast asleep, until she got to her own room. The lights were switched on and the door was unlocked.

The scene that she wandered in on was completely unexpected.

Rebecca was stood up, her makeup ruined by tear stains as she had one hand raised and a gun pointed at Aaron's head. The doctor was facing the doorway, waiting for Amelia to arrive and once the brunette was inside of the room and the door was closed behind her, Rebecca pushed the gun against Aaron who began to scream, muffled by the tight piece of tape covering his lips.

"You did this," she spat, what was once a serene voice, now an animalistic screech.

* * *

 **A/N: What's this? Such an early upload? THAT'S CAUSE WE'RE GETTING TWO UPLOADS TODAY! Why, you might ask? Because it's Chris Evans birthday today and we need to celebrate it somehow.**

 **ALSO ANNOUNCEMENT: I'm going on a week hiatus. You'll get the last chapter for part three on Sunday and after that I'll be taking a break to catch up on my chapters and take my time with planning part four because obviously Civil War is an important part and I want to put a lot of thought and care in it. I don't know if it will be an entire week without posting chapters, might just end up being a couple of days but yeah. Hope you guys are okay with me doing this!**

 **To CrispyCoconut, you got the next chapter earlier than normal I guess? And ik I'm sorry there was no leather jacket kink moment, but Mia wasn't wearing it because of guilt. Now she's good though so you can bet your ass there will be plenty of leather jacket kink moments, some we won't get to see though cause obviously I'm not writing smut.**

 **To LieuDrake, honestly same but at the same time if I was in a relationship when would I find the time for Steve? Y'know? And thank you!**

 **To Sam0728, lol you know me so well**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, I'm glad you enjoyed the flashback! I was worried people would feel like it got in the way but it's a moment I've been trying to fit in since I started AOU and that seemed like the perfect place**

 **To Guest, or Rebecca's gonna kick theirs before they get the chance**

 **To gia, I remember hearing this song one or two times but I never really paid much attention to it, but wow those lyrics are beautiful and I'm touched you can relate my fic to them :)**

 **To FireflyDarkness, wow, you made their moment seem even more special. But you're right, it was something their relationship had obviously always been leading up to, and after everything they'd gone through, they needed to reconnect. Thank you :)**

 **To Pitspee, so glad to see you enjoyed it! And just wow so many compliments, thank you, and my friend says thank you as well. Whenever I write love scenes I always think about this piece of advice I found on the internet somewhere which was like 'if they have to be kissing for the readers to know they're in love, it's not love' and like I try to stay true to that so much so hearing that I've actually achieved it and stuff makes me super happy. AND NEVER APOLOGISE FOR LONG REVIEWS I LOVE THEM!**

 **To BrittStar1199, who knows what Marvel's going to do anymore like no one was expecting that ending of Infinity War. Either way, I'll be sure to give Steve Rogers the ending he deserves in this. I say that, when I first saw Infinity War afterwards I was like 'OH HELL NO THAT IS NOT HAPPENING IN MY FANFIC' but I've changed my mind now, I've got no choice but to do that particular ending lol. And I totally agree with you on the sex thing btw.**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, I'm sorry! I should have put a warning at the start really but I didn't want to spoil it and I didn't know if it was so intense that it needed one. Like I'm against smut too, I rarely read it and I'm not a fan of writing it so. Again, I'm sorry. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter though. And yeah, ik I'm the writer but the flashback made me realise just how long they've been together. Wonder when they'll get married.**


	65. Chapter Sixty-Two

**CHAPTER SIXTY-TWO**

* * *

 _"Thus strangely are our souls constructed, and by such slight ligaments are we bound to prosperity or ruin."_

 _ **― Mary Shelley**_

* * *

There had been plenty of times when Amelia thought about where she'd be had Captain America not given her that one chance. The chance that had opened up her petals gently with care. The chance had been as simple as opening a door and as difficult as taking a step for the first time in her life.

Whenever she'd doubt herself and doubt her abilities to ever again be _okay_ that's what she would think about to remind herself that she was more okay than she had ever been. Steve probably still would have managed to bring down Hydra, Amelia wasn't so arrogant that she believed all of Steve's success was down to her, she knew her soldier would have done just fine without her there.

With Hydra down, she'd have an entire world to dominate. Amelia knew that's what she probably would have done. With no loyalties to Hydra, she wouldn't try and return to the organization or build it back up, the brunette would probably enter the real world and try to experience everything she could. And oh, she'd do so much. She'd travel to every single corner of the planet, eat as much food as she possibly could even if it meant getting fat and weaker, she would watch the sunsets every night and watch the sun rises every morning, basking in every warm glow and letting it seep through her skin, never getting bored of the way freedom felt.

She wouldn't bother getting a job for money, no, there was no requirement for a job when she could quite easily kill and steal. That's what she was good at, after all. Nothing but a weapon, that would be all she thought about herself and she would never realize just how heinous and haunting that thought was to her.

It would lead her to become lonely, so fucking lonely.

There would be no Steve to hold her hand everytime she got sad, no Natasha to rant to, no Sam to make her laugh with jokes she didn't 100% fully understood, no Tony to make her feel human, no Thor to remind her that just because you couldn't see the sun that didn't mean it wasn't there, no Bruce to teach her that even when a person did have destructive capabilities that didn't mean they couldn't be _kind_ , no Clint to show her that real love, true love, could prosper even when in such a dangerous lifestyle, no Vision to make her feel a little less alone when it came to being different and unsure of normal human ways, no Wanda to let Amelia know that she was wanted, and sometimes _needed_ , and no Pietro to teach the brunette that she had a duty to save and help people because she had the exact powers to do so. She'd have no Steven Grant Rogers to teach her how to love anyone, so she'd never get to meet all the amazing people that changed her, and her life, for the better.

And thus, she would always come to the same conclusion. Amelia didn't care if she got to see over a million sunsets and sunrises, she didn't care if she got to see them on land flooded by forests or oceans bustling with clear blue waters that within she'd catch sight of magnificent creatures. Amelia didn't care if she got to see over a million moons, all of them different, harvest moons, waning crescents, ecliptic nights. She didn't care. Amelia did not care if she got to experience every single thing the world had to offer her, both lovely and cruel, she just didn't care. Because not one single second of her life then would be spent with Steve, and no gold coin rising up through a cacophony of colours amongst perfect clouds could ever make her want something different, all she wanted was her soldier.

So, if she did have that life, if she really had never met Steve and Hydra had fallen and AS09 had been left to her own devices. Amelia knew that even then, even when not knowing the blond blue-eyed soldier, AS09 would choose against that life. Because she'd be lonely. The kind of lonely that was one withered tree amongst a field of flowers that bloomed and danced in the wind whilst that one tree stood still and gazed on at a world it could never be a part of, the kind of lonely that curdled hearts, brought down swords, broke down a person's faith, and destroyed entire cities. And AS09, the Experiment AS09 that was just a weapon, nothing less, nothing more, she wouldn't be able to handle that kind of loneliness.

That's what Amelia thought about first when she walked into her motel room and found Rebecca stood as the shell of the former woman she'd been, make-up falling in streaks as torrents of tears covered her cheeks, shaking gun raised and pressed against Aaron's head. Amelia thought about the way she could have been if she'd never learned about love, and she thought about how maybe things could have been different for Rebecca if only Amelia had given a little bit more of that particular emotion to the broken woman before her.

"You did this," Rebecca spat at the brunette and pushed her gun even harder against Aaron's head that was covered in sweat, a glistening sheen that made his hair stick to his forehead.

He was very evidently disturbed by the situation he was in. His wide grey eyes were practically popping out of his head, red lines clear on the whites of his eyes and the red matched the colour of the bags circling his eyes. Aaron's entire body was shaking, vibrating like an old car engine and all Amelia wanted to do was run over to him and try to calm him down, worried from the shade of his skin that he was about to pass out because of all the hyperventilating he was doing, but she daren't make any sort of move whilst Rebecca was stood with her finger on the trigger.

The door had shut behind Amelia with a troubling click. It was just them now, there was no way for any passersby to see into Amelia's room, see the situation they were in, and call for help. Steve was the only one who could rescue her but she had no idea how long it would take for him to empty the facility and then track her down.

She needed to keep Rebecca calm. Amelia was quite possibly the _worst_ person to be doing that. She could list over a hundred people who would be much better suited to be stuck in that situation but there was no one else, just her, so she needed to figure out what to do in order to save Aaron.

Normally, AS09 would be the one to come save her, would be the one to trade places with her and take over but AS09 wasn't who she needed, she needed someone _better_ than AS09. She needed Steve Rogers.

Blue. Sky blue, raindrops in a storm that came after far too many warm days blue. That's what Amelia thought of as she put up both of her hands, attempting to signal to Rebecca that she came in peace though she doubted anyone that knew her ever put the words Amelia and peace together. They did with Steve, and that's who she needed to be. "Rebecca-"

"Don't!" The doctor hissed the word through her teeth, turning the gun onto Amelia who wasn't as affected by it as Aaron was. From beside the doctor the blonde secretary visibly relaxed when the gun was taken away from him though his frantic gaze was now fixed on Amelia, worried that she would be the victim to a rushing bullet. "Don't you dare try to talk me down, or make up some excuse. You went and saw one of them, you went against what I told you, _you did this_."

"I- I'm sorry, I don't-" she was panicking, her tongue feeling knotted inside of her mouth as words seemed to fail her. She'd known the risk when she went to go see Steve, despite how careful she'd been, Amelia knew that there was still quite a large risk.

Amelia was internally kicking herself furiously, she should never have taken the risk, because it wasn't just her life she was risking, it was the Avengers, and Aaron's, and because of her idiocy they could all end up dead. The minutes she had with Rebecca were precious, it was her one opportunity to take care of them all and stop Rebecca before she did something stupid, yet she couldn't think of anything to say. She was useless. She was stupid. She didn't know what to do.

"You've ruined everything," Rebecca continued bitterly, "you've destroyed everything, then again, that's what you were always meant for. Destroying things. Well congratulations, AS09, you've destroyed me too now.

"Just put the gun down," Amelia asked, desperate, trying to think what Steve would do in her situation. He'd make sure no one got hurt. "I'll help you get out of here, I'll keep you safe, just put the gun down."

"I don't want to be safe!" Again she screamed, showing her frustration because Amelia just couldn't get it. Rebecca had lost absolutely everything the moment her family died. That's who she really wanted to be safe, her boys. But she couldn't have that because of Amelia, and Steve, and Hydra. Her boys had been the real victims of Captain America's war with Hydra, victims that never should have been victims and victims that Captain America didn't even know about.

"I know," she put her hands against her chest, over her heart, trying to signal to the unsettled doctor that all of her words were sincere, "and I know that I can't give you what you really want but hurting Aaron or me or the Avengers, that isn't going to bring them back."

But how could Amelia ever truly understand loss? How could Amelia ever understand what it's like to feel so whole one moment, and the next have a gaping hole in your chest that no one else can fill like before. That emptiness stayed. That emptiness consumed Rebecca in that moment as all she could seem to think about was her sons, and her loving husband, and the life that she didn't get to have. Them, and the person that caused all that devastation.

"I know it's not going to bring them back," she responded, flecks of spit shooting from her tongue like venom because yes she did know, she knew far too well that nothing she ever did would ever bring back the people that she loved. That wasn't what this was about. She wasn't trying to get them back. She was trying to get revenge. "Because you and your _boyfriend_ killed them. And now you're stopping me from avenging them, well fine. He told me that if I planned to get revenge I'd need to start small, he said-"

"Who said?" Amelia questioned, confused as to whether she was talking about her 'inside man' or someone else, someone that was pulling Rebecca's strings.

"It doesn't fucking matter!" She shook her gun in Amelia's direction though the brunette gave no reaction, far too used to staring down the barrel of a gun for it to ever really scare her again. "What matters is that this is how I'm going to get my revenge. We're going to bring you all down. No… we're going to do something better. We're going to break you apart, just like you did my family."

"Rebecca, please." Words, she needed more words than just 'please' and 'I'm sorry', she needed Steve to be there.

The doctor just laughed, making Amelia feel even punier. "You don't even realise it yet, do you?"

"Realise what?"

A moment of calmness, it crossed over the tension, a blanket of snow that chilled them all to the bone. Her grey eyes moved to Aaron momentarily, connecting with his eyes, and then she turned to face Amelia. Rebecca didn't look frantic anymore, in fact, she looked content, and for Amelia that was even more terrifying.

"I've already won." As she said those words, she turned the gun on to Aaron and Amelia saw her finger twitch across the trigger, her body instinctively jumping forward so she could push Aaron out of the way, taking the bullet through her shoulder.

She let out a scream of agony, her vision blurring but she at least got to see the colours of red and blue fill the room from the window. They were there. Steve was there. Holding onto her wound, she turned back to Rebecca, wondering what her ex-therapist's next move would be, her entire body poised to stop the doctor from running away. There was absolutely no way that Amelia was going to let the doctor get away, not after all the threats. She'd promised to get her payback, and Amelia was going to see to it that unlike with Alexander Pierce, she got that revenge.

She'd imagined all the many ways she could get her torture, some ways were bloody, some ways were clean physically but dirty mentally, some of the ways Amelia knew would make Steve sick.

But Rebecca wasn't about to let her life fall into the same hands that had taken her families, no, her life was her own. What was left of it anyway. Pulling the gun up, she pressed it against her own head, looking straight into Amelia's eyes as she pulled the trigger.

What Amelia hated most, what Amelia would be haunted by the most, was that playing on Rebecca's lips was that exact same smile which she'd used when walking into the warehouse full of Amelia's victims, like Amelia had walked into her trap.

It had Amelia wondering if perhaps this was always the plan, if perhaps her blood was destined to end up on the already red walls, if perhaps Rebecca _wanted_ Amelia to go after Steve? It had her doubting everything she thought she knew.

There wasn't a semblance of any emotion on Amelia's face as Rebecca fell down to the floor as a corpse, dead. It remained completely blank as agents shoved their way into the room, yelling demands for everyone to get down to the ground. There was no Steve, no sign of any of the Avengers, just unidentifiable agents dressed in black carrying guns that didn't care about Amelia's wound as they shoved her to the ground as well, putting handcuffs around her wrists, ensuring that her arm was in such a place that the shoulder wound was burning with agony. They pulled her from the room, taking her out of the motel room to where there were about five black SUV's and two ambulances, taking her directly to one of the ambulances and shoving her inside of it.

Amelia remained unresponsive, unable to say anything.

Rebecca had killed herself, shot herself in the head in front of her and she'd smiled as she did so. That smile. It was haunting Amelia so much.

She blamed herself. And yet a sickening part of her was pleased that Rebecca was gone, and she hated that part of herself because another part was dismayed. They used to be friends, they used to spend long hours together, but even so, she hadn't been able to do anything to stop Rebecca from going down the road she did. Was everything her fault in the end?

And what did that smile mean?

Lost. Amelia was lost. And there was an ambulance nurse asking her questions but she couldn't really hear him, all she could hear was the gunshot, over and over again. And all she could see was Rebecca's smile, that knowing smile.

She didn't even know when she'd gotten into the back of the hospital. The brunette was sat with her arms still bound with two nurses, one of which was dabbing at her wound. She was supposed to feel pain, but she didn't feel anything.

Then she noticed the handcuffs finally, among all the gunshots and smiles, there were also handcuffs, on her. Why? Was she a criminal? Nothing made sense. Rebecca had killed herself. Nothing made sense.

At the open doorway of the ambulance, a man appeared dressed unlike all the other agents. He wore a suit, and he looked old, with a grey mustache covering his upper lip. Amelia had seen him before, she thinks. He was a secretary of the state, she thinks. She also thinks that Rebecca has killed herself though, and that it was her fault, and that the world didn't make sense. "Experiment AS09," he called her a name she hadn't heard in a long time, a name she felt was meant only to be spoken from certain mouths, definitely not the strangers. He began to talk further, but his words were white noise, white noise between the repeating gun shot, the repeating blood splatter. Rebecca Kaplan, her therapist, her friend, her betrayer, had killed herself and it was all her fault. "We're going to be taking you back to the Pentagon where you'll have to explain your side in all of this, and then we're going to decide whether you're guilty or not. You do not have the right to a lawyer under these circumstances-"

"Where's Steve?" The question was easy, the only words she was capable of saying as Steve was the only thing that made sense to her anymore and she needed him. He was supposed to be the one to rescue her so where was Steve. She needed her soldier.

"What?" He scoffed, looking at the brunette that had a robotic expression with shock. Thaddeus Ross couldn't believe the nerve she had, it was like she didn't even understand how much damage she'd done. He'd half expected her to run away, knowing full well that she wasn't going to be able to see daylight ever again after all the things she'd done. But she looked like she didn't even care, which is what confirmed for Thaddeus Ross that Hydra's experiment was indeed a terrifying weapon. And like the rest of Hydra's weapons, she needed to be stuck in a box and hidden in a warehouse to collect dust. That's all he saw her as, not a human being, but a dangerous weapon.

Her nostrils flared and she let out a harsh breath, emotion flashing across her face that could have easily been confused with anger, that's what Thaddeus chose to see it as. He ignored the tears in her eyes, a sign that the real emotion she was feeling was anguish.

"Where is Steve?!" She repeated, black energy surrounding her and pulsing, throwing the nurse away, out of the ambulance.

Agents flocked to the ambulance the second they heard the scuffle, guns raised with their fingers pressed against the trigger, ready to put down Hydra's weapon but Ross threw up his hand, signaling for them all to stand down.

He wanted them to shoot her, Amelia could see it in the cold stare he sent her way, but there was something stopping him from getting his wish.

What Amelia didn't know was that Steve had returned to the facility an hour earlier, telling the Avengers of everything that he'd learned, and Thaddeus had immediately set off to go collect her despite both Steve's and Tony's orders. He didn't care about the facility, he didn't want to wait before catching Hydra's weapon, which is why he was the first to arrive at the scene. And the only reason he was stopping his soldiers from killing her was because he'd promised Tony that as long as they worked with him, he'd make sure his sister didn't get harmed. He never promised that he wouldn't get her locked up though, and that's what he was going to settle with. It would be one of his proudest achievements, capturing Hydra's fiercest weapon.

Amelia felt it. She could sense the filth in Thaddeus quite easily and it made her distrust everything around her. What she wanted was Steve, she wanted to feel his light on her fingertips again, she just wanted the world to make sense.

The two had a momentary staring contest, gazes locked together, Thaddeus trying to overpower her with just his stare but even he began to realise it was hopeless as he stared into the black depths of her eyes. He'd been warned earlier to never look her in the eyes, because no one was ever prepared for the nightmares that filled the black space in her eyes, the ominous depths looking back into the person and clutching their heart like a taloned grasp.

"Amelia!" The sound of a jet hovering above them could be heard, the wind from the engines taking a hold of Thaddeus' gelled hair and throwing it upwards, making him look more like Einstein, though Amelia doubted he was as intelligent.

"Steve!" She stood up, black instantly disappearing from around her as she heard her soldier.

He was there, he did come for her.

In seconds he was rounding the ambulance, entering it and wasting no time before embracing Amelia, as though it had been days since they were last together. After seeing all the agents and their guns, he'd gotten frantic, and Steve lost control momentarily as he was happy to see Amelia safe. He pressed his lips against hers almost aggressively, demanding she let him feel her and trace his hands around her body so he could remind his fingertips how refreshing fire could be. He'd missed her just as much as she'd missed him. The kiss had an effect on her, it had been like the big bang when their lips connected and all of a sudden Amelia was filled with shining stars, no longer empty. She was alive again.

He'd been so busy kissing her at first that he didn't notice the handcuffs binding her hands until they'd parted once again, "what the hell?" His eyebrows scrunched together and a protective rage flashed within him as he turned back to face Thaddeus, "what do you think you're doing?"

"Taking her into captivity, Captain Rogers," Thaddeus explained, pretending to be completely unfazed by the fury Steve was sending in his direction, Ross felt completely entitled in what he was doing, feeling as though he was possibly the only one that wasn't blinded by the weapon's innocent facade. Innocent people don't kill with such ease and such skill. Innocent people don't so easily change sides, especially when the consequences are their own country. "She's a danger to society and I- _we_ can't allow her to just run around pretending to be a normal human."

"Hey jackass," another familiar voice cried, making Amelia's heart beat twice as fast, some tears escaping the barricade she'd tried so hard to create by her eyes, "that's my sister you're talking about."

Tony stepped in front of the ambulance, bravely standing between the small army and his sister, protecting her. And all Amelia could think was that there was home, she didn't care that Tony had been so quick to think she'd gone rogue, in fact she was glad he did because that meant if she ever did lose control of her powers like Thor told her she could, he'd be there to protect the people she tried to harm. He was there for her when she really needed it, that's what mattered.

Ross turned to Tony, still nonplussed even after Tony greeted him with such an insult, "she's also a murderer, or are you just going to ignore all of that? Again?" His wording made Amelia realise just how long the man had had his eye on her. It must have been ever since she changed sides, which would explain why he was so adamant to get her in his grasps and keep her there.

Sighing, she got their attention, "guys… it's fine, he's right," she felt weak for giving in so easily but she'd just watched one of her closest friends shoot themselves in the head, it was hard not blaming herself for that.

"Mia, shut up." Tony replied, not even looking at her, earning a surprised look from both Amelia and Steve but all of his concentration was on the ex-General in front of him that was fixated on taking his sister to prison. One thing Thaddeus Ross needed to learn was that Tony was a force to be reckoned with, especially when it came to his family. He only had Amelia, so he wasn't going to let anyone touch her. He stepped forward, dressed in only a suit but he looked as domineering as he would in the Iron Man suit. "Fine, take her to jail," he shrugged his shoulders lazily, "but if you do that then I'll have no choice but to release Pandora's box to the world, and I'm sure they'll be even happier to know that we've had that folder for a year and done absolutely nothing about it."

Ross' eyes closed into a glare, "Mr Stark, are you making a threat?"

"No, he's not," Steve stepped forward as well, leaving Amelia's side momentarily so that he could step in front of the ambulance that contained his girl, creating a wall that would stop them from getting inside.

It wasn't long before he was joined by more people, Nat, Sam, Wanda, Vision and even Thor moved to stand in front of the ambulance, all knowing what she had done in order to protect them, all wanting to repay back that favour.

" _We_ are," Nat chimed, making sure that Thaddeus and his men all knew that in order to get to her, they'd have to get through the Avengers which simply wasn't a fight they could win.

Thaddeus was silent for a moment, expression melting into unhappiness as he clenched his hands by his side. He looked at them all, seeing more enemies than he was comrades, and when he looked at Amelia, all he saw was destruction. "I hope you guys are ready for what's about to come your way," he warned, relenting but making it clear that they'd only won the battle, not the war. "You _Avengers_ have been playing around for far too long, it's about time you get back in line. This isn't the last time you'll be seeing me."

"Great, can't wait to see you again, honey," Tony sassed, unamused and unaffected by Ross' threats, his words earning a satisfying giggle from Amelia who was overwhelmed with the swell of pride she was feeling for her _family_.

Thaddeus sent Tony one last glare, one last look of warning, before turning to one of his men. "Uncuff her," he ordered and the agent did as was asked, the only one allowed to move through the wall that the Avenger's had created. Whilst the agent did that, Thaddeus began to say some more words, pushing to get inside their heads just like how Rebecca had gotten inside of Amelia's. "You know, I expected better from you Captain America," he said, earning Steve's attention though the soldier looked at him like Thaddeus was nothing more than a little kid trying to fight a giant, "she was a weapon made to take down the very country you're supposed to defend."

Steve wanted to laugh in Ross' face. All Amelia had done since changing sides was try to be better, even when she'd gone rogue, she was doing all she could just to make sure that no one in the Avenger's facility got hurt, and the only reason she fell into that trap was because she was trying to save him. Charles Spencer and Pietro Maximoff were all the people Amelia had almost given her life in order to save. She'd proved herself time and time and time again, whereas people like Thaddeus Ross, people who point their fingers at innocent women and cry out 'witch', were the ones doing more damage to their country, creating hatred and distrust where there should only ever be a sense of togetherness.

"It isn't her who's ruining the country," Steve didn't bother saying any more words after that, knowing there was no point in doing so, people like Thaddeus only ever really listened to what _they_ had to say, not others.

A smile broke through his displeased expression, a coy expression that was begging for a punch in the face, "yeah, well, we'll see about that, won't we?" With those words, he and his team left, only the ambulance nurses staying though they didn't immediately enter the ambulance as they were all quite scared of both the weapon inside of the vehicle and the surrounding Avengers that they'd only ever seen on the news.

Once things calmed down they all turned to face Amelia, the brunette suddenly become fearful, unable to look any of them in the eyes, especially Nat and Sam. "We're going to go look at the crime scene," Natasha chimed, hitting Sam on the shoulder so he'd know to nod and agree with what she said. Really the crime scene only needed Nat but she knew Amelia didn't really need to be surrounding by a load of people that she was scared of. She needed only the people she could truly trust in that moment.

As they all began to walk over to the motel, Tony turned to join them but Steve was quick to stop him, not saying any words to the billionaire, simply nodding his head over to Amelia. Maybe it was just him who saw the importance between Tony and Amelia, but he wanted to make sure that Amelia knew she still actually had her brother. Before anything else, before the rest of her family, he felt it was important that Tony show his sister that he still trusted her.

The billionaire actually looked quite nervous, which was amusing for the soldier to see but he decided he'd wait for a more appropriate time to point out how Tony had shrivelled his neck up like some sort of turtle trying to recede back in its shell as he entered the ambulance and moved to sit beside his sister. Amelia was rubbing around her wrists where they were red from the handcuffs. Tony dropped his hand down on top of Amelia's, squeezing it tightly and she thankfully didn't push him away, making a little bit of joy jump up inside his heart because they were finally at the point of closeness he'd always been jealous of Steve for having with her. He didn't want the intimacy part of their relationship of course, but he'd always wanted to be able to stop her from being in distress, but she'd never allowed him. Not until then.

"Hey, sis, how you holding up?" He winced at how awkward the question came out, as did Steve, but Amelia didn't seem to notice. She simply looked up at her brother, and then she broke.

Amelia cried like there was too much raw pain inside her, so much that she couldn't possibly contain it. She cried like her spirit was forcing itself to break loose from her skin, desperate to release an elemental rage on the world. It was hard for Tony to hear, but he held her, he cradled his little sister just like he had that first night she came home and he wasn't going to let go until she stopped.

She didn't really know what she was crying over. The fact that such a good friend had betrayed her? The fact that such a good friend had killed herself? The fact that she hadn't gotten the revenge she wanted, again? Or maybe it was for herself, maybe it was because she never asked to be Experiment AS09 and she was so sick of only ever being Experiment AS09.

* * *

 **A/N: Hello again, how ya doing? Happy with the end of this chapter? Sad? Hoping it's all over? Looks that way doesn't it.**

 **To BrittStar1199, indeed, Rebecca had lost her shit. And sorry for there being no ass whooping from Amelia, trust me, Amelia wishes as much as you do that she'd gotten to whoop Rebecca's ass**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, I'll try my best not to hurt Aaron! He is an innocent little muffin isn't he? And thank you, I shall try!**

 **To CrispyCoconut, ikr, I feel like I'm going to be so lost once I finish infinity war cause I won't be able to write the next part for this. That's when I'll probably start another project though, it'll either be spiderman or bucky, I'm still undecided. And to answer your question, no it genuinely hasn't, she doesn't really use her mental powers, hasn't bothered to learn them and doesn't choose to ever use them. She's more about physical contact and that sort of stuff. Whenever she does use her mind powers it's always by accident like with giving Steve those dreams, she had no idea she was doing that. I'm playing about with the idea of her being able to use them by Infinity War though.**

 **To Pitspee, same with the Chris Evans thing. And ohmygod that would be so cute! I kind of want that to happen! But I suppose we won't know if they actually get married until after Infinity War pt2? Idk if I can wait that long for Steve to propose to Amelia.**

 **And a big thank you to everyone that's read the two chapters I posted today, hope it wasn't too much!**


	66. Chapter Sixty-Three

**CHAPTER SIXTY-THREE**

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" _You are so brave and quiet I forget you are suffering."_

― _**Ernest Hemingway**_

* * *

"Amelia," Steve said her name in a threatening tone, a darkness rumbling through his voice like black storm clouds, the punishment of lightning ready and waiting. And yet, the smile on his face told a completely different story. He was stood on the left side of the bed nearest to their en-suite, hands pressed against his hips whilst Amelia was stood across from him, safe on the other side of the bed with her hands tucked behind her back, an equally as playful smirk pressed on her lips. "Give me it."

"No," she quipped, teeth showing as her smirk split into a smile like a gymnast, stretching fully on her face. Both of them were wet, having just showered for the first time together, Amelia discovering more shades of lustful red with Steve.

He glared at her, smile still betraying his very angry expression. And then, suddenly, he jumped over the bed, like a wild animal pouncing over for its prey. Amelia squealed and tried to run away as quickly as she could, somehow managing to make it to their bedroom door before he could grasp onto her though his fingers had been very close, touching the edges of her shorts before she was too far away. He'd fallen to the floor, giving her enough time to begin running out of their bedroom into the facility.

Both of them were ignorant of the looks other agents kept giving them, lost in their own little game of tag which Amelia was somehow winning despite Steve being a super soldier (he was definitely going easy on her). The brunette couldn't help but let out squeals and giggles every time Steve got closer to her, the soldier repeatedly making threats to her which she chose to ignore, jumping across pieces of furniture and even doing a short lap around the kitchen in order to make up some distance between them.

On their journey they passed Nat who Amelia used as a momentary shield, the redhead shaking her head and scoffing at their 'childish ways' but still smiling because it was nice to have the facility be so lively again, mostly because of Amelia's return to it. The past altercation between Amelia and Natasha mostly forgotten about.

Nat had gotten somewhat of an apology, and it was down to her that it was only somewhat of an apology. When she rejoined Amelia afterward, on their way home she'd sat down next to the teary-eyed assassin and told her that she forgave her for doing what she had to in order to keep the Avengers safe, but that it was going to take her a little longer to forgive Amelia for the scar on the side of her head. Amelia had accepted it gratefully and they'd hung out once after the incident, an entire week having passed since Amelia's return.

Amelia and Steve scurried away, leaving Nat to get back to her work.

The brunette was winning, an item locked in her vice-like grip and she was planning on running all the way to the outside bins so that she could throw it away but as she turned her hundredth corner, she ended up running into a wall, or, what it is better known as, Thor Odinson.

She bounced back onto the floor, landing with a crash as wet ebony tendrils flew about, and moments later Steve had dropped to her side, picked her up and thrown her over his shoulder. "No!" She cried out.

"Thanks, Thor," Steve expressed his gratitude as the ex-assassin began to yell out in anguish, repeatedly hitting Steve in the back though her punches were nothing to him, Amelia thought bitterly that her punches were probably like being hit with a feather for the super soldier. She gave up in the end as Steve retreated back to their room, allowing her dark brown locks to cover her eyes so she didn't see the questionable but highly amused expression Thor sent them as Steve wandered away, a smile on his face as though he'd just caught a Bilgesnipe (a creature from Thor's home that was a very difficult thing to defeat, of course not for Thor Odinson who had defeated over a dozen so far in his lifetime).

The soldier took his trophy back to their shared bedroom, throwing her down on to the bed and propping himself over her so she couldn't slip away again. "Give me it," he repeated the question, lips hovering over hers in a tempting way but Amelia knew what he was doing, trying to use his charms to sway her, but she refused to fall so easily.

She returned his bargaining with a pout, jutting out her bottom lip and widening her black eyes, she raised up one hand and stroked it across his stubble jawline, staring at the growing beard longingly, "but I don't want you to shave it."

"Well that's too bad, because _I_ do," he rebutted, "so give me the damn shaver."

"No!" She repeated her earlier declination, almost child-like as she continued to pout at him, having to do everything in her power to keep from smiling as he looked down at her with such a playful shine in his baby blues.

The argument started after they finished their shower, Amelia said that she was going to dry her hair, and Steve said he was going to finally shave seen as he'd stopped doing so when his girl disappeared. The brunette stopped, frozen in place, and then she'd turned to face him with such an alarmed expression on her face, one would think he'd told her he was going to kill a puppy. She'd started to argue that he simply couldn't, that she loved his stubble far too much but he wasn't listening to her arguments, making it clear that she didn't really get a choice on whether he kept the stubble or not. So the brunette did the most mature and considerate thing she could. She stole the shaver and refused to give it back to him.

"Amelia," he groaned out her name, but she remained just as resilient on the matter, the shaver held tightly in her hand that she kept against her chest.

His smile seemed to grow and Amelia could practically see the light bulb switching on above his head and then the next thing she knew he was attacking her with kisses. It was Steve's best move apparently, a great way to get her laughing and distracted as his lips pressed all over her face, leaving wet marks as proof that they'd once been there as he moved onto his next target, all the while harassing her with his words. "Amelia," he kissed her forehead, "give," then her cheek, "me," then her chin, "the," then her forehead again, "shaver," then her left eye, "now."

She began to shove him away, pressing her empty hand against his chest though she put no actual effort into the push. Amelia didn't even notice his hand had slipped from her waist, far too distracted by all the kisses to notice the calloused fingers reaching into her own hand and grabbing the shaver from her loosened grasp. She didn't notice until he stopped kissing her and let out a yell of hoorah.

"No, that's unfair!" Amelia complained, sitting up as soon as Steve got up off of her but it was too late and he was already gone, entering the bathroom and slamming the door shut behind him, she could still hear him chuckling even as he locked himself in the bathroom.

She tried her best to pretend like the slamming of the bathroom door didn't remind her of the shot Rebecca fired into her own head.

That's how her past week had gone. At first, she'd been sad, really sad, Tony and Steve throwing around the word depression but she insisted that _no_ it was just a momentary sadness that she needed to work through because Amelia always thought of herself as strong, even against emotions. And plus, if she started to admit to herself that she had depression, and that she had PTSD, then she'd have to go back to a therapist and she wasn't ready to get intimate with another stranger like she had Rebecca. Not after what had just happened.

After a couple of days, she got so sick and tired of the horrible cloud that loomed over her and never dispersed, so tired of it that she started to tell herself: you're a weapon, and weapons do not weep. She was doing anything and everything to get out of her head, to forget that damn smile on Rebecca's face, even going as far to self-deprecate herself in the worst possible way. At least when she hurt then, it was in her power.

The moment Amelia felt herself slipping into those dark thoughts again, she busied herself. Standing up, she entered the walk-in wardrobe and went straight towards the glamorous dress that was hung up in the center of the room. It was a white and black gradient dress, with a Sabrina neckline that was filled with a floral pattern and tight around her upper body. The skirt was more free, the fabric lightweight with the colour melting from black to grey to white. It was a beautiful dress. Another dress that was a gift from Tony, meant for her birthday party which hadn't happened the week prior because, well, no one was really up for a party after everything had happened.

Tony had insisted on the subject though, stating that the 'party must go on'. Steve had been one of the first to argue that it wouldn't be right to have a party after what had happened with Rebecca, that what Amelia really needed was to just relax and work on forgiving herself, but Tony had said that a party was the best way to forget all the horrors of the past and celebrate her future.

The argument had lasted two whole days, during Amelia's worst two days where all she'd done was lay in bed, not watch TV, not eat, not shower, she'd sometimes say the odd word to Steve but that was the only sign of life that came from her.

On day three, on the day she finally managed to get herself out of bed, she'd accidentally walked in on Tony and Steve in the middle of an argument. It was clear there was a lot more going on than just an argument about her birthday party, but she knew they weren't going to tell her what it was, it was the one thing they could both agree on, protecting her. Still, she hated to see them argue so she put a stop to it by saying she _wanted_ to have a party.

There were plenty of reasons why she decided to have a party. For one, she felt as though she owed Tony after everything that had happened, and he clearly wanted to do the party. Another reason was that she was just so sick and tired of hiding herself away, she wanted to be stronger than that. She wanted to be able to face other people without the fear that she'd taint them or hurt them in some way. She wanted to forget, for just one goddamn second, the sound of that gunshot and the sight of that wicked smile.

Tony had done very little to hide his smugness from Steve when she'd sided with him. But it wasn't so much that she was siding with him, it was more that she was trying to find a good middle ground and she knew that Steve would support her as much as he could. He did. Reluctantly agreeing to go to her birthday party (he'd go to the ends of the Earth for her, a birthday party would be easy) and even wear a suit seen as she was being forced into a dress once again.

The dress fit her body perfectly. Once it was on, she'd moved back into the bedroom to go stand in front of the mirror, eyes immediately falling on the gunshot wound on her shoulder. There was a bandage over it which was glaringly obvious when against the black of her dress. Amelia didn't want to take off the bandage though, she wanted to avoid seeing the scar for as long as possible because she knew that it would the ugliest one she possessed.

All her scars looked ugly to her now. Before, she didn't really care about them. But now, after everything she'd gone through, after everything she'd done, Amelia hated the very sight of herself. Her eyes fell down, the brunette incapable of looking at herself any longer because all she saw was the person Rebecca said she was, the monster that had not only led to the death of Rebecca Kaplan's entire family, but also the monster that drove Rebecca to kill herself, to end her own life.

Amelia didn't notice when Steve came out of the bathroom, freshly shaven. She was too busy pressing her hand against her healing wound, causing pain to burst where the wound was but it's okay because at least that pain she was in control of. He sensed that their playful morning had ended, Amelia looking much more melancholy than what she did before he entered the bathroom. At first he thought she might just be upset that he shaved, but when he saw her in the dress - looking as beautiful as ever - with her hand pressed against her wound, looking down at the floor as though she was ashamed of what she saw in the mirror, he knew it was something much more serious making her glum.

She'd been very up and down which was completely understandable and Steve didn't really mind what mood she was in, he wanted her to know that he would be with her no matter the conditions. In her brightest and in her darkest times. He was there.

Slowly, as not to startle her, he made his way over to her. Steve stopped behind her, arms wrapping around the brunette's waist so that he could pull her against him, close enough so that he could reach down with his lips and press them against her healing wound. Amelia loved it when he did that, because it was hard for her to hate any piece of skin that he'd touched.

"Hey," he greeted, voice quiet, like a gentle wave lapping over sand, Amelia would happily drown in his waters. She fell back into his touch, closing her eyes and raising up one hand so she could push it through his almost dry hair, she'd miss his stubble but the brunette could settle for him having his hair long enough for her to tug.

They stood there for a moment, just with each other. Breathing each other in, making up for every forsaken second that they were apart.

"You know," Steve started after two minutes, "we don't have to go to this party." Amelia sighed, not an angry sigh, more an 'I'm tired of hearing you say that' sigh. He pushed against Amelia's waist so that she could turn around and face him, an expectant look on her face, waiting for him to bring up another argument and just as she'd expected, the soldier did. "We could have a day in bed instead. I know you're tired of me saying this but I don't think it will be a good idea. It's going to be a Tony party which means a lot of people, and loud noises, and flashing lights and you're sensitive right now."

"I need this party, Steve," Amelia replied, voice equally as hushed as Steve's because of the vulnerability she was putting on display, "if I can get through tonight then that means I'm not as broken as I feel. I… I just need to forget."

"Freckles," Steve sighed, looking down at her with a sympathetic gaze that she hated.

Weak. That's all she felt, just weak.

"No, Steve," she pushed her way out of his arms, not wanting to be swayed anymore by his charms. For the past week, all he'd been trying to do was make her face what had happened, to work on accepting everything she'd done and then work on forgiving herself but she didn't want forgiveness, she wanted to be in agony because she knew that's what she deserved. And she hated that too, she hated how much she hated herself. And for one night she wanted to just forget about it. She needed it.

Not wanting to argue with her soldier, she crossed her arms over her chest and avoided looking into his eyes, one hand automatically going up to press onto her gun wound. "I'm going to go see Nat," she excused, "she said we could do our hair and makeup together, so…" The excuse felt lame, even more so because she couldn't bring herself to look in Steve's eyes.

She didn't want him to know that, sometimes, looking at him made her feel guilty. Amelia knew that if she did tell him that he'd feel bad and he'd try to remedy it, try to take on her problems, but she didn't want to burden him any more than she already had. She just needed to be okay, she needed to get over what had happened, then she and Steve would be happy again. Right?

"Okay," Steve resigned, trying not to push Amelia anymore than he needed to. It had become even more important to him to be there for her after she'd left him, and it meant he was possibly letting her get away with some old habits he'd normally admonish but he didn't want to give her any reasons to leave again. "Are you going to see Wanda?"

Amelia pulled her hand away from the wound, already feeling enough pain just from the mention of the younger psychic. "No." She hadn't seen Wanda since she got back, feeling far too guilty. Amelia believed that Wanda would be mad at her for far too easily abandoning her after she lost her brother, and she didn't want to face that. She'd gone back to running away from all her problems, apparently.

"Do you think you might try and talk to her at some point?"

"Fuck if I know," Amelia retorted, a bit too aggressive. Steve's jaw tightened but it was the only sign that he was affected by the rage she'd shown.

Amelia didn't know why she was being so rude to Steve and pulling away from him, she knew that a part of her wanted to because she didn't want to taint him anymore, but she didn't think she was actually giving in to that part of her, not until she did things like yelling at him and being aggressive towards him. She didn't know why sometimes things were so great between them, and then the next, she'd ruin the moment and create tension.

She opened her mouth, going to apologise, but something was stopping her. She closed her mouth again, but she did step closer to him, hugging him and pressing her face into his chest. He accepted the touch, accepted the silent words that her hug conveyed, and wrapped his arms around her, choosing to remain silent as well.

They'd get through it. They were Steve Rogers and Amelia Stark, they could get through anything.

"Well would you look at that," Amelia mused as she stepped out of the car, joining Steve's side as he'd been a gentleman and opened the car door for her, "I barely recognise anyone here." Much like the first party of Tony's that she went to before Ultron attacked.

They were outside of some sort of art museum, a red carpet leading from the bottom of a large staircase to two wide open doors that gave a little glimpse of what was inside, which was just more room filled with more people. There were some signs around the large building that read 'Metropolitan Museum of Art' which she guessed was what the building was before it became her birthday party venue.

Things became even grander as they entered the room. Music vibrating the entire room which was brimming with hundreds of people, very few that she actually knew. Some came up to speak to her, a lot of the people she passed wishing her a happy birthday to which she'd politely thank them whilst continuing her search for someone she actually _knew_.

She was glad to have Steve by her side then, not feeling like such a bundle of nerves when he was by her side and it would have been incredibly easy for her to slip into anxiety when surrounded by so many strangers.

They walked further into the main hall, looking around at all the decorations that filled the darkly lit room. There was a banner above which read 'Happy 28th Birthday Amelia Stark!' and as Amelia was reading it, wondering if she really was twenty-eight (it felt like she'd lived a hundred lifetimes), she didn't notice when Sam approached, dressed in a suit and tie with a colourful cocktail in his hand. All that was being served at the bar were colourful cocktails, and he knew that it was probably Amelia he had to blame for that. Still, it was a free bar so he wasn't going to complain.

"Hey!" He cried once he was stood beside them, knowing due to the music that neither the soldier or the ex-assassin would be able to hear him.

Amelia looked at him and happiness blossomed welcome on her face, the brunette leaping over to Sam so she could embrace him in her arms.

Be happy. That's what she told herself, _be happy_.

She genuinely was happy to see the pilot though it had only been one day since she saw him last. He still had a crutch so she was careful as she hugged him, doing her best to not knock him off of his feet.

"Happy birthday, lil' Stark!" He hoorahed in her ear, pulling away so that he could keep her an arms length away, any more and he was afraid she wouldn't be able to hear him, "this is a big improvement from that motel room."

"I know right, I love the colour scheme he went with," that was a lie. The colour scheme was red, white and black. The red just reminded her of the motel wall stained with blood. But she was pretending like she wasn't affected by her past that night. Quickly changing the subject, she began to search around the room, hoping to spot something in particular, "is my table of junk food here?"

Sam let out a chuckle, shaking his head, "I should have known you were in charge of that. It's all just sweets."

"Exactly!" She responded with excitement, even more eager to get to her table full of delights. It was the one thing Tony allowed her to be in charge of and it had been really easy because all she listed was all the candy she could possibly think of.

Steve overheard the conversation and began to tug on Amelia's hand. As soon as he got her attention, he pointed a finger in her direction, stating: "You're getting cut off at nine."

"What?!" Amelia had heard him, she just didn't like what she'd heard.

"Don't 'what' me," he argued back, "Neither of us want you going through a sugar rush at three in the morning."

"Oh come on, it's my birthday party!" She wrapped both of her hands around his arm and began to pull on it like a child tugging on their parent's hand so they could go on their favourite roller coaster. Much like how she had done earlier that morning with the shaver, she jutted out her bottom lip and widened her eyes so her black iris' were doe-like, twinkling with innocence. "Please," she begged, tone more high-pitched than it usually was.

His stare turned into a glare but Amelia knew she'd won because of the smile he tried to keep down. "I hate you."

She did nothing to stop the smile on her own lips, letting it fill her contoured face, her dark red lips making her teeth seem even whiter. She pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek, once again marveling at the magnificent of Nat's matte lipstick as the kiss left no mark on Steve's cheek. It had ideas going through her mind of other ways they could test out the durability of her lipstick, but she decided that they'd be better off waiting until they got home to do such _magnificent_ things.

"No you don't," she teased, Sam chuckling from beside them, doing his best to keep all his 'whipped' jokes to himself.

"You guys make me sick, you know that, right?" Tony sighed, looking convincingly disgusted by the way the two were looking at each other.

Pepper, who was attached at Tony's side, waved her hand, disregarding what her boyfriend were saying, "no, they're cute!"

Amelia laughed off Tony's comment as she always would, still completely unaware of the fact that Tony was making such comments to try and get her to stop getting intimate with Steve in front of him, it was something she'd need to be explained to her. She let go of Steve so that she could move over to Tony, hugging him tightly, trying to get all her gratitude out in that one hug. "Thanks for the party Tony, it's amazing, more than I could have dreamed." Again she looked around, finding it hard to keep her mouth from dropping open because everything looked so extravagant and somehow also so her.

"Well, I try," Tony shrugged his shoulders once Amelia released him from her hug, his arm automatically going back around Pepper's waist as Amelia automatically returned to Steve's side. It felt nice for some reason, both of them being there as brother and sister with the ones they loved, it felt as though - despite their parents not being there - they had their complete family.

Again Pepper waved her hand in dismissal to Tony's words, leaning closer to Amelia so she could tell her the truth, "he's being modest. This has been one of his biggest ever projects, a lot of hard work went into it, a lot of sleepless nights."

Because Steve was so close to Amelia he got to hear Pepper's words and he looked to Tony impressed, it seemed he was always impressed when Tony did something decent for his sister, which the billionaire actually found quite insulting, as though the rest of the time he was just some arsehole.

"You did well, Tony," Steve congratulated curtly, a tension still pliable between them after the weeks they'd spent arguing over every little thing. They'd made an unspoken agreement not to quarrel on that night though. That night was meant for Amelia, and Amelia only.

"Wait a second, is Thor spiking the punch with that Asgardian stuff?" Sam asked, pointing over towards the table where all of Amelia's junk food had been placed, the table now easy to spot as the crowd had parted slightly. Thor was indeed beside the large bowl of punch pouring something from his jeweled flask. It already had alcohol in it, but it would become much more damaging with his own liquid poison in it.

"Oh fuck," Tony cursed, immediately running over to stop Thor from inevitably getting everyone at the party smashed. Pepper followed behind him, having to stick to his side for most of the night because she was sharing his duties as host.

Amelia, Steve, and Sam watched on amused as Tony stormed over to the god, swatting away his hands and beginning to scorn him, looking extremely tiny as he did so. They were all chuckling when Amelia felt a soft hand be placed on her shoulder. She instantly turned rigid, and it took everything in her to not scream at the touch and send out black energy to cast whoever dared to touch her far, _far_ , away. She was pretending to be fine so she couldn't do that.

She did turn to face the owner of the hand with a narrowed gaze though, her eyes softening when she realised it was just Wanda. "Uh, hey," the fellow psychic began to tug on the sleeves of her maroon dress.

They both felt awkward, that was clear as Amelia averted Wanda's eyes and began to shuffle around on her feet. "Hey, Wanda," she greeted, lost for words to say. 'I'm sorry' seemed the most fitting but it didn't feel like it was enough and she's been saying the words so much they'd lost their meaning to her, which is why she'd been avoiding the witch for so long.

"I'll go get us a drink," Steve offered, more than happy to leave Amelia with Wanda as it had been a conversation he'd been pushing for since he got back. When Amelia made a move to argue, he raised up a hand and interrupted her, pretending that he knew she was going to say something about the drinks, not beg him to not leave her. "I know, you want a Sex on the Beach." He missed the glare Amelia sent him, already walking away to go over to the bar.

Turning back to Wanda, she felt guilt like a beached whale in her stomach. Amelia hadn't expected Wanda to be the hardest one to apologise to, she thought it would be her brother, or Nat, or Steve. But no, the one person she couldn't even so much as look at ended up being Wanda because after everything the girl had gone through, after promising the younger psychic that she was going to be there for her because her brother couldn't (because she'd killed him), after all of that, Amelia had so easily turned away from Wanda without so much a second thought.

She was meant to be better than that. When Pietro passed, Amelia had not only promised Wanda but also promised herself that she'd do everything in her power to make sure Wanda didn't feel alone because that's what she owed the witch but she'd failed. All she ever did was fail.

And Amelia had no idea where to begin to convey all those emotions, all of those apologies.

"So…" She copied Wanda's movements, beginning to pull on the patterned lace sleeves of her dress, managing to unhook a thread that she twirled around her pointer finger, unknowingly destroying an extremely expensive dress. Amelia didn't say anything else, she was hoping she'd be able to just fill the time until Steve returned and then she could run away from her problems once again. Her soldier wouldn't be happy about it but there wasn't really much he could do to stop her.

"Are you okay?" Wanda asked.

"What?" Amelia was surprised by the question, and kind of hurt, because even after everything she'd done the little witch was asking her if she was _okay_.

"I haven't spoken to you since you got back and I just want to know if you're okay," Wanda struggled with maintaining eye contact, feeling as though perhaps she'd done something wrong and that was why Amelia had been very obviously avoiding her. She was going to continue allowing Amelia to do so, she just wanted to make sure that she (the person she considered an older sister) was okay. She just wanted peace of mind.

"I…" As Amelia looked at Wanda, she found herself incapable of lying. Or, she could lie, she could quite have easily just thrown out the words 'I'm fine' like she had been doing, but Amelia didn't want to.

The moment she decided to tell the truth though, her facade broke apart like a mirror, first her smile disappearing and then the tears behind her eyes finally revealed themselves, her hand started to shake as well. "No. I don't think I am okay."

Concerned, Wanda took Amelia's hand, the friendly touch something she'd missed so much after spending all of her time with Rebecca who'd only touch was a bullet in her shoulder. Wanda dragged her over to a couch, sitting both of them down. "Tell me." She pushed, knowing that if she gave Amelia any opportunity to not tell her, that the brunette would try and run away, and damage herself by doing so. Wanda knew that, because it was what she'd done after Pietro died. She'd tried to run away from her feelings, avoided talking about them, and in the end, they just broke her. Thankfully whenever she did break, she had Amelia or Vision by her side. It was her turn to repay that favour.

"I don't know where to start," Amelia revealed, shoulders slumping. She couldn't cry, she had far too much makeup on to be crying.

"That's okay," Wanda responded, waiting patiently.

Seconds later, Amelia finally let it all out, the words tumbling out like a flood came through a broken dam. "I don't know where to start because there's so much, Wanda, I killed again and yet you're all accepting me back into the family like I'm the exact same person I once was but how could I possibly be the same person after everything but every time I feel sad about that I feel like I've just fallen deeper into Rebecca's trap. This is what she wants, I tell myself, she wants me to start building walls up against you. And I am, I mean, look at what I've been doing with you, I haven't seen you once since I got back because I'm so scared you won't accept my apology which I know is stupid because all you've done, all you're doing, is helping me. And I just don't know anymore."

Amelia didn't feel any better after getting the words out, she felt as though she'd just added more of a burden to her friend but Wanda shook her head.

"I don't need to forgive you," she chimed, making Amelia finally look up into her eyes, the brunette all puppy eyes and sorrows. "You were just protecting me and everyone in the base. If anything, I'm the one who should be begging for forgiveness because I didn't do anything to help you, I should have fought Cap more when he told me to stay at the base."

Quickly, Amelia shook her head, "no, no, Steve was right. You're not ready for the field yet, and I could have done some serious damage to you if you had gone."

"She's right," Nat chimed in, joining the girls by sliding onto the back of the sofa, "I mean she almost killed me." The redhead flashed her scar to them all, lifting up her hairline and revealing the line of stitches she had.

"Thanks," Amelia sighed, once again feeling that guilt swell inside her stomach.

Nat rolled her eyes, "there's no point feeling sorry for ourselves," she said the words with aged wisdom, "and there's no point asking for forgiveness when none of us did anything wrong. Amelia, you scarred me, but you did it because you were trying to protect all of us. Wanda, you're not ready for the field yet but you're trying your best by doing more training than most of the other agents in the facility. We all did something wrong, but we're making up for it every day."

"And you, what did you do wrong?" Amelia asked, appreciating Nat for stepping in and stopping the girls from repeating themselves over and over again, trying to pin the blame on themselves.

"Oh, me? Nothing." She took a sip from her orange and red cocktail, "I'm perfect."

"Uh huh," Wanda said, beginning to laugh and it was music to Amelia's ears because after what happened to Rebecca she thought she'd never get to hear happiness around her ever again.

"Sure," Amelia scoffed, rolling her eyes as the three best friends began to laugh.

Nat eased the conversation onto something else, the previous tension with Wanda and Amelia forgotten at least for the moment because they were _friends_. And Amelia was slowly but surely learning that friends, best friends at least, forgive each other for their mistakes.

They somehow fell into a game of 'find Nat a date', Wanda immediately putting a stop to their attempts at finding her a date, saying that she doesn't want to be dating anyone yet. Both Nat and Amelia shared a knowing look, able to see that what Wanda actually meant was that she didn't want to date anyone but one certain person. That had Amelia hatching a plan.

She left her three friends momentarily, throwing out an excuse that she wanted to check out the aforementioned treat table when really she diverted her travels to go over to Vision. "Hey," she greeted the red and green man who'd actually dressed in a suit, which was weird, Amelia was pretty sure that it was her first time seeing him dressed in normal clothing.

"Hello Amelia," he nodded at her politely, "happy belated birthday."

"Thanks," she chimed, quickly moving onto the real reason why she'd gone over to him, "go ask Wanda to dance."

"What?" If Vision could blush, she was sure he'd be doing it then.

She couldn't help but smile at it, reminded of how her and Steve used to be. "Go ask her to dance, I'm positive she wants to spend more time with you and dancing will be fun."

Vision couldn't look in her eyes, afraid that the human would easily sense his feelings towards Wanda which he didn't want because he still wasn't quite sure of them himself. He shook his head, the notion of dancing frightening him more than any battle, "I don't know how and I don't think Wanda does either."

It had been an okay excuse, Amelia judged, but not good enough as she was _determined_ to get them dancing by the end of the night. "Fine," she said, and for a second Vision thought he was free but he could still feel her gaze burning through his artificial skin, "you can just watch me and Steve do it, and then do that with Wanda."

"No, I-"

But Amelia was already making her way over to Steve, finding him beside the table of treats which she was desperate to get at but sadly she'd have to put that mission aside momentarily. The table was beautiful though, pieces of art made entirely out of candy filling the long table, the only kind of statue Amelia ever wanted to look at. He'd been stood at the table with Thor, both of them sharing the flask of Asgardian liquor after Tony had told Thor off.

"Hello," he said in greeting, eager to hear what had happened between her and Wanda but it seemed his brunette had a different idea, grabbing his hand and beginning to pull him out onto the dancefloor, barely giving him enough time to hand Thor his flask back. "Yes, hello, Steve. How are you? I'm doing well, too. Thanks for getting me a drink," Steve began to joke, earning no reaction from Amelia as she continued to drag him into the middle of the dancefloor.

As they entered the dancefloor, the song began to change, moving onto one that Steve actually knew which was surprising for the soldier seen as most of the music played was all modern day pop songs.

They had no idea that Tony had signaled to the DJ when he saw Steve and Amelia moving onto the dancefloor, telling the DJ to play a preplanned song meant especially for when Steve and Amelia got onto the dancefloor. He'd wanted to make that moment special, especially after everything they'd just had to go through.

'Can't Help Falling In Love' by Elvis Presley began to play, the song a gust of wind that seemed to flutter through the room and calm all frantic hearts. Amelia hadn't heard the song before, but as she looked into Steve's blue eyes, her hands going around his shoulders whilst his went around her waist, she fell in love with every single lyric, or maybe it was Steve she was falling for, again.

Her mission of getting Wanda and Vision together was momentarily forgotten as the two danced. In his arms, it felt like they were the only two people in the room. In fact, it was almost like they'd been transported back to that gazebo on their first date. The night sky and the lanterns were the only sources of light, and yet something with the brightness of the sun was rising in their hearts as they danced. It wasn't really dancing, it was swaying from side to side, their eyes dancing more than their feet in that moment.

Amelia leaned over, not having to stand on her tiptoes as on her feet were black high-heels. "Have I told you lately how much I love you?" She whispered almost huskily into his ear, earning quite the smile off of Steve.

"You could tell me more," he joked, shrugging his shoulders.

"I love you," they were the easiest words Amelia would ever say.

He kissed her then, not a long, passionate, fiery, one. No. It was soft, and gentle, and he pressed his forehead against hers afterward and they were both just as breathless as they would be from an ardent one because sometimes their love was so much, too much for their frail hearts to handle.

"I love you too."

Amelia got her wish in that moment. She forgot all about Rebecca, and the gunshot, and the smile. In that moment, she felt stronger than ever. Because despite everything Rebecca had done, she and Steve won. She and Steve survived.

Amelia and Steve, a pair like no other. The kind of connection as fated as heaven and earth, night and day, sun and moon, shore and sea, light and darkness. Her and him. Amelia and Steve.

The two were so caught up in their embrace they didn't notice a small blond secretary pushing his way through the crowd, making his way over to them, eyes fixed only on Amelia. It took quite a lot of shoving to make it to them, the crowd barely noticing his small form but Aaron was far too used to it to argue with them. "Hey," he greeted, patting Amelia on the shoulder.

"Aaron, hey!" The excitement was clear in her voice and she put her hand down on his arm gently, overwhelmed by the sight of him being _okay_. He'd taken a few days off after everything that had happened so she wasn't sure if he'd be going to her birthday party. She was glad he did.

Aaron's eyes flashed over to Steve's for just a second before falling nervously to the ground, "I- I, um, I was just wondering, you don't have to obviously no one's forcing you, but I was wondering if you'd, if you'd want to dance." It was always impressive how he could turn something as simple as 'will you dance with me' into a sonnet but Amelia was still more charmed by his shyness than annoyed.

Steve didn't say anything, still feeling guilty over what he'd done to the blond secretary. He pushed Amelia to dance with Aaron, stepping away from her slightly and trying to wordlessly communicate that she should. He was far too scared of frightening the poor boy, and he didn't want to put Aaron through anything more. Amelia smiled gratefully at the soldier and he just nodded his head as the pair went off to dance.

He turned around, planning on returning to Thor, but the god had disappeared somewhere. As he searched the room he did catch sight of Wanda and Vision who were dancing together, Wanda blushing heavily but laughing as they both fumbled around, trying not to step on their partner's feet. The sight was nice to see.

Steve eventually went to sit by Sam's side. The pilot had had to sit down and take some weight off his leg, and it looked like he found quite a comfortable spot as there weren't too many people around, giving him enough room to stretch out his broken leg. As Steve sat down beside him, Sam raised up his glass and gestured over to Amelia who had become camouflaged in the sea of people. "She's grown up so quickly, don't you think."

Steve laughed shortly at Sam's words, "yeah, she has."

It didn't feel like he'd only know Amelia for a year and a bit, it felt like he'd known her his entire life. Maybe that was because he didn't really start living until he met her.

"How's she holding up with everything?" Sam questioned, not realising the depth of his question until Steve let out a long, tired, sigh. "Not good then?"

"No, she's doing good, sometimes. Sometimes, she's really good and then sometimes she's not. I think she just needs to figure everything out in her head, but right now all she wants to do is forget," he gestured around him, the party was the embodiment of Amelia's attempt at trying to forget. Sam nodded in understanding to Steve's gesture. "I don't know, I think she's still got a lot of questions."

"She's not the only one," Sam commented, making Steve raise an eyebrow, urging the pilot to continue. He tried to seem nonchalant about it, but really the pilot had been trying to figure out all the loose ends ever since Amelia came back because there was still a lot of stuff that didn't make sense. "We still don't know who the inside person is, and we never found a bomb. I don't know, it's probably nothing-"

"No, I agree with you," Steve interrupted, tone turning grave. He leaned closer to Sam as though they were conspiring something quite taboo, and in some ways he was, because he hadn't said anything to Amelia about his concerns yet. "I'm still confused about that letter from her," he revealed, "some of the stuff said in it didn't make sense, whilst other stuff did. I don't think Rebecca was the one who wrote it."

"If not Rebecca, then who?"

"Exactly." Steve sat back in his seat, remembering every detail about the letter he'd read over a hundred times. They'd gotten Amelia's handwriting correct, but there were many parts that just didn't sound very Amelia. And the fact that the letter was given to Aaron of all people, he knew they were close but if Amelia was going to write such a letter he was sure she'd pick someone more important like himself, or Tony, or Nat. Even Thor made more sense than Aaron did.

And then it clicked. And the answer had been so obvious that Steve was close to kicking himself for not realising it sooner.

"Aaron," he didn't say anything else, he just looked at Sam with alarm as he recited the name, feeling vile crawl up his throat as he did so.

The pilot looked confused at first, and then his eyes widened and Steve knew it was starting to make sense for Sam as well. "He's the inside man," Sam continued Steve's thoughts, receiving a nod from the soldier.

"We need to get Amelia, now," both of them stood up, Sam much slower as he relied heavily on his crutch to walk. Steve threw himself into the sea of people, finding it difficult to find her when everyone in the room seemed to be wearing some variation of black, white and red, like Amelia had.

He'd been an idiot. He should have realised sooner, it was so obvious. And he'd willingly left her alone with that very man. Foolish wasn't a strong enough word to describe how he felt in that moment. He continued to shove his way through the crowd, ignoring the yells he got from other people as he searched and searched and searched but there was no sight of her _anywhere_.

The music stopped all of a sudden, making everyone turn to face the large stage, including Sam and Steve. He'd hoped to see Amelia wander onto it but it was the other Stark instead that appeared on the stage, accepting a microphone from the DJ. His appearance earnt a huge applause from everyone, all their attention fixed on the billionaire but Steve wasn't as captivated, continuing his search for Amelia.

"Hello!" Tony greeted boisterously, earning yells back from the crowd. "I just wanted to thank you all for coming here on my sisters 28th birthday." More applause came and Tony waited until the audience calmed down again before speaking. "As some of you know, my sister went missing for quite a while and, whilst being an only child did have some perks, I have to say, I am so happy to have her back with me. My life has improved for the better now that I have her back."

"Some people ask me: Tony, if you could change anything in your life, what would it be? And for a long time, I used to say that I'd go back to the day my parents sadly passed and my sister was taken, and I'd stop it. But now I think differently. I'm fine with the way things went because I've got my little sis back and she's beautiful and strong and perfect the way she is. And that's what we're celebrating today. Right, guys?" Despite the bittersweet middle of his speech, the crowd roared to life. Even though none of them actually knew Amelia, from all the gossip in the papers they felt like they did. Tony smiled gratefully at the crowd, "so how about we get my little sister up here and blow out some birthday candles? Ladies and gentlemen, Amelia Stark!"

As he introduced his sister an applause broke out through the crowd, even louder than before, everyone beginning to look around, expecting to see Amelia Stark making her way to the stage. Except, no one could find her. Not even Tony, who had an aerial view of the crowd.

"Mia?" He called into the microphone, wondering if she was just in the bathroom or something. Confused, he looked over to Steve, and he was definitely _not_ comforted by the expression on the soldier's face.

And for a second, it felt as though the entire world had gone quiet. Every single person being struck by an ominous feeling, a chill crawling down everyone's spine.

They heard the explosion first, it's destruction reigning down on the room seconds later.

* * *

 **A/N: Petition to let Steve and Amelia in part four to end up on a nice little farm in Wakanda, chilling with Bucky and just being content with life. They all fucking deserve it.**

 **To BrittStar1199, ;) and I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter and the sibling-ness!**

 **To FireflyDarkness, whilst Ross will be a villain in part four, he isn't the one who'd pulled Rebecca's strings, and agreed, I'm probably making him out even more slimy but idk I never liked his character**

 **To Guest, PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP YOUR EDUCATION FOR THIS BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH YOUR REVIEW MADE ME SMILE SO MUCH**

 **To Pitspee, I don't know, is it? And I don't know, is Steve proposing? I'm glad you noticed that I'm waiting to put Amelia in white for a special reason though :)**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, you were right, it wasn't over at all, but it was a nice notion.**

 **To CrispyCoconut, I don't know, I think they could definitely have a happily ever after in Wakanda, they'd feel safe and Steve would get to be with Bucky, have his girl and his best friend by his side. It would be the best possible happy ever after in my opinion. But** **¯\\_(ツ)_/¯** **who knows if I'll let them have that.**

 **And a big thanks to everyone that read the chapter!**


	67. Chapter Sixty-Four

**CHAPTER SIXTY-FOUR**

* * *

" _Hell is empty and all the devils are here."_

― _**William Shakespeare**_

* * *

Aaron's hands were soft in hers, and smaller, they didn't fit snuggly against her palm. It felt like she was holding a ripe apple, freshly picked. His soft hands were a testament to the safe life he'd lived and it was somewhat uncomfortable for Amelia when she was so used to Steve's calloused hands that encompassed hers perfectly.

"It's weird being back, isn't it?" Aaron asked, his voice low, pitch still wavering slightly despite him being way too old for puberty.

"What do you mean?" The brunette asked as they continued to sway gently back and forth.

Aaron stopped their boring swaying for a moment so he could pull his head away from her shoulder and look her in the eyes. He looked sad, his expression managing to encompass all of the emotions that had burdened her over the past week.

"It's like we've returned to the world, but it's not the world that we left. Like because of what happened to us, the world has changed, and now there's no way to go back to the original world. Which wouldn't be so bad, except, the world we're in now isn't one we'd want to return back to. Does that make sense?" He wasn't sounding like himself anymore and Amelia noticed. There wasn't even the slightest stutter to his words, just sadness, like a part of him had been taken away. Maybe that's what he was confusing it with, Amelia mused, because in her eyes it was never the world that had changed, it was her that had.

It showed the difference in their thinking very clearly. Whilst he so easily blamed the world for being the one that changed, Amelia always blamed herself first. A part of her wished she could so easily blame the world, the grass on Aaron's side looking much greener than her own.

She didn't want him to start blaming himself either, because, for Amelia, it meant sometimes wishing to not even want to be alive and she never wanted that fate for Aaron who'd been nothing but sweet for her, not even blaming Amelia for the circumstance he'd gotten in when really it was her fault. She reached out one of her hands and clasped Aaron's shoulder tightly, something she could imagine Steve doing when trying to comfort someone. "Listen, Aaron," she started, "I know things are hard for you right now, but things do get better. They do."

"How can you believe that?" He scoffed, sounding almost angry but Amelia ignored it because she'd never heard Aaron angry before.

"Because I have to believe," she answered, voice almost too soft to be heard beneath the vibrating music flooding the room, "if I don't believe then I'll fall apart and I don't think I'll ever be able to put myself together afterward."

They looked at each other silently, Amelia thinking about how easy it was to believe when she had Steve by his side, and Aaron thinking about how he'd already stopped believing, and there was no way he'd be able to put himself together again, just like how she said. Both of them realised that they'd gotten far too melancholy and sullen amongst an ocean of cheering and merry people, and if someone had been looking at them, they could have quite easily seen the moment both Amelia and Aaron forced on their masks, frowns turning to crooked smiles in the blink of an eye.

"Sorry," Aaron apologised, feeling to blame for muddying their happy moods.

Amelia just forced her smile to grow even bigger, trying to comfort Aaron with it, but she should know how easy it was for someone wearing a mask to see others wearing their own masks. She wasn't convincing anyone in that moment. Which was a shame, Amelia thought, because she'd been doing _so well_ at being okay so far and the night had barely even started. She still hadn't made it to the candy table, the best part about her birthday.

Aaron began to look around the room, staring at all the drunken fools with a semblance of disgust on his face. He leaned back over to Amelia, having to stand up on his tiptoes because she was wearing heels, "can we get out of here for a second?" He yelled into her ear.

She immediately agreed, also needing a break from the room that didn't seem to have enough oxygen for all the people inside of it. Aaron took the lead from there, grabbing her hand and pulling her around the building he knew pretty well as he'd been helping Tony organise the party. It was the most work the billionaire had trusted him with in a while.

He took her through a doorway that led into a long, wide, hallway. The walls were completely white, with paintings placed along them that somehow brightened up the place, each individual one filling that plain white room with such character. And at the very end of the hallway, against a wall with no artwork, a gift sat on the floor. It was medium sized, a plain black box with a red ribbon wrapped around it. Amelia looked at it questionably, at first unsure of whether it was a piece of art or a birthday present.

"Go on," Aaron pushed, pointing to the present with a proud look on his face, "that's my present for you."

"Really?" The circumstances were unusual, she'd been told by Tony that she wouldn't be getting any presents from the party guests, all of them giving money to a charity that she'd get to choose, so it was unusual for her that Aaron had not only brought her a gift but hidden it away. Perhaps that's why it was hidden away though, because he wasn't actually meant to have gotten her anything.

After Aaron nodded his head again, confirming that he had indeed snuck in a present, she walked over it. It was eerily quiet inside that hallway, not for any real reason, just because the room they'd been in previously had been so loud. She could actually hear her heels click against the marble floor, and every breath she took, and there was a ringing sound she could hear though there was nothing she could see that the ringing sound could be coming from. She supposed it was the loud echo of silence and nothing more.

Crouching down beside the gift that reached up to her hip when she was standing, she reached out with her hand and ran her fingers across the wrapping paper. The paper wasn't as rough against her fingers like the newspaper Steve had wrapped her first present in, the black was smooth silk with a sheen similar to the fabrics. It was luxurious. As she ran her hands across the box, she eventually reached the tag attached to the bow.

As she read it, Aaron moved to stand a few centimeters near her, hands pressed in the pockets of his suit pants and a cold gaze fixed on the crouched brunette. "You never asked me for my last name," he said as she read over the tag, taking longer than usual because she had to read it another three times, "I've worked for you and your brother for, what, like, four months? And not once, did you ask me for my last name."

Amelia dropped the tag, standing up and taking a step away from the box because it wasn't a gift. She had no idea what was inside of it, but after reading that tag, she knew it wouldn't be a gift. Even after dropping it, she was all too aware of the tag that rested on top of the present, stating: Happy Birthday, love from Aaron Kaplan!

"Tell me this is your idea of some sick joke," she demanded Aaron, not daring to give any other notion a thought. It was all a prank, she told herself, Aaron's failed attempt at humour.

But he looked at her bitterly, smiling so tightly that his lips disappeared into a curved line, and he started to shake his head, denying what Amelia had said and breaking the already battered pieces of her heart, like it was more sugar glass than human flesh. And she hated it so much, it made her so angry to think that she'd given someone else that sort of power even after Rebecca. Amelia charged forward, pushing Aaron against the plain white wall with the force of a crashing plane. "Tell me it's a joke!"

"No!" He denied, no stutter in sight as he bravely stared into the abyss in her eyes.

She twitched for a second, her hands tightening around Aaron's shoulders, and for a second it looked like she was about to rain down death and destruction on the small secretary. But she let go, and she stepped backward, and she threw her hands up in her own hair because nothing made sense anymore. It was bloodied knives and bloodied hands and loud gunshots and knowing smiles, those were the only things that made sense. "She was your mother," Amelia whispered, tugging harshly on her hair sprayed waves. "Why would she kill herself _in front of you_ , if she was your mother?"

"For the plan." He said the words emotionally, and Amelia didn't blame him, she wished she could cut out all her emotions like a dirty surgeon as well.

"The plan?" Amelia chuckled coldly, "your plan failed. I got to Steve, we stopped you from releasing that folder." Her cockiness emanated from her body like the world's most horrendous stench, she was overcompensating, because deep down she knew that she hadn't stopped Rebecca, why else would the doctor have smiled in such a way before blowing her brains out.

Aaron matched that cockiness, a smirk turning the corner of his lips but they didn't reach his cold grey eyes that were all winter skies over a field of dead trees. "That was one plan," he apathetically responded.

A roar of sound came from behind the closed doors in the art gallery, coming from the main hall where her party was happening. She could hear her brother, though she wasn't quite sure what he was saying because the doors that separated them muffled the sound considerably. Aaron looked over at the door as did Amelia, both wondering if someone might walk through that door, both hoping no one did. She wanted to take care of Aaron herself because it was her fault he was the way he was, and she hoped that perhaps she could fix things. It might not be what she was made to do, but she at least wanted to try and fix things.

"Aaron," she said his name as gently as she could, trying to rid her body of the hatred she felt after learning of his betrayal. It was difficult, especially because Aaron's part to play was possibly the most important and most detrimental for Amelia. He'd been the one to give her the letter about Steve, the one to set up the bomb in the facility, the one to give Steve the letter about her, and he'd pretended to be kidnapped so that she'd be more willing to hurt Steve. And it also meant that their relationship up to that point had all been fake, every joke, ever intimate moment, every smile and honest thought, all just one big lie. For that, she wanted to _kill_ him, but that wasn't what Steve would do. "Aaron, I know you're angry with me, and you have every right to blame me, but-"

"Blame you?" Aaron interrupted, beginning to step closer to her. " _I_ don't blame you. My mum did, she blamed you and Cap most of all. But the people I blame are the ones that pretend to be ignorant, that somehow manage to live fully knowing every dark thing isn't just a shadow in the street. Sure, you're one of them too but you're… different. That's why I wanted to get to know you first, because you were hurt by Hydra too, just like me and my family. He told me not to, when we were hatching the plan he said that getting close to you could ruin everything but it didn't, if anything it taught me a lesson. I thought you were different, I thought you actually gave a shit about people like me, broken people, but you proved me wrong." He shrugged his shoulders, disappointment clear on his expression whilst all he got from Amelia was confusion. She didn't speak, wanting him to continue with his explanation seen as he was giving her a lot of information. "You're just like them, like Captain America and Iron Man and the rest of the Avengers, you don't care about the little people and what happens to them."

"What are you talking about?" She hissed, insulted by his accusation, more so because he was saying those things about the two people she loved most. "When I thought you were kidnapped, I did everything in my power to make sure that you'd be safe. I even stabbed Steve, for you!" Amelia knew that it wasn't enough, but it was something, and she was desperately trying to stop Aaron from going down the vengeful path but his only reaction to her words was a puff of air, a mocking laugh, a refusal.

He shook his head, eyes cast down to the floor, as though he couldn't believe the bullshit she was conjuring up. Aaron had clearly already decided that he was righteous.

Amelia was watching him carefully, urging him to say something to her but he kept his lips tightly sealed, so her eyes roamed back over to the present that's colours conflicted heavily with the rest of the pristine white room. It didn't belong there, and that had Amelia becoming unnerved slightly.

Turning back to face Aaron, she tightened her palms so that her nails would dig through her skin. Control, she needed that more than ever. "What's in the box?"

The chuckle that followed Amelia's words were much less fake and much more menacing, Aaron's eyes turning on her and lighting up like a sword mirrored light from the sun. "The plan," he cackled. On that day, he was the sword and he would soon be the sun.

More applause could be heard from the main hall, a reminder to Amelia of just how many people were in that building. How many people were in danger. It didn't take her long to figure out what Aaron meant. All that talk of bombs from before had to be leading up to something, and there it was, in that present, about to blow. That's what the ringing sound had been, Amelia realised. She ran over to it, frantic and alarmed. She tore off the red bow, uncaringly throwing it across the floor. Reaching out with her hands, she went to open the box. She got a glimpse at the large bomb inside and she saw the countdown. Five seconds. It wasn't enough time, yet still, the brunette tried to run back over to the door, aiming to warn everyone in the main hall but no. No. It was too late.

The explosion rose up like wildfire, consuming everything in its path, Amelia barely had enough time to create a forcefield around herself before she was knocked to the ground beneath rubble as the entire building began to collapse.

The world shook violently and for a second everything around Amelia became black.

When she came to again, her forcefield was gone. She half expected herself to be dead, or stuck underneath the weight of the building, but she'd been lucky enough to have the pieces of building fall in such a way that there was an unsafe structure keeping most of the rocks above her from crumbling down. Pieces kept falling though, like raindrops of stone, letting her know that her time was very much limited.

Her ears rung and her throat tasted like sandpaper, the dress she wore was torn, coated in dust and blood. Her own blood. There were plenty of violent scrapes across her body from when she'd landed harshly, but it was her hands that looked the worst, burns reaching up to her elbows as she'd only just managed to create a forcefield as the explosion reached her. Blood seeped across her flesh, mixing with dust and drying together, making her hands look almost black. She didn't notice the dark energy dancing across her fingers.

She'd survived the bomb, but Amelia did not feel lucky.

"Steve!" She cried out, ignoring the pain. Somehow, she'd managed to stand up. Her body felt empty yet also like every inch of it was on fire and ringing, all she could hear was ringing. When she screamed for her lover it sounded like someone else from far away had said it.

The realisation hit her worse than the bomb. She hadn't got to them in time and the bomb had gone off, the entire building had collapsed and the surrounding silence told her that she was the only one who'd survived it. And that was a fate far worse than death.

"Steve!" She screamed out his name again, a wail following her words because she knew he was dead. He was dead. Steve Rogers was dead. "Steve! Tony! Nat!" She needed someone, for god's sake, she needed someone. Amelia didn't want to be alone, it was horrible and cold and on fire and she needed to know that the people she loved, that her family, was okay.

She banged her fist against the wall of broken building that blocked her from reaching where the main hall would have once been. She scraped her nails across it, ignorant of the pain as adrenaline mixed with insanity clouded all of her senses. One more punch, and the roof above her began to collapse some more, a large piece of rock hurtling towards her. It never made it to the ground, it never even got close to Amelia because as soon as the psychic sensed the rock hurtling towards her, she turned it to dust.

Frantic to reach them, she tried to dig her way through the ground, her flesh nothing against the aged stone. Screeching sounds fell from her throat, animalistic noises of desperation. Pathetic, that was all she was in that moment. Pathetic, desperate, and alone.

Then she heard it, a single sound, a splutter, a cough. It broke through all the noise blaring in her ears like a plant split the ground, birthing hope. A chance, she thought. And despite the odds, despite the fact that the sound was coming from the opposite direction, Amelia convinced herself it was Steve.

Amelia stumbled her way up onto her feet, like a deer on ice as the entire world around her felt so cold and desolate. She did her best to try and follow the sound, trying to focus on the wheezing she heard rather than the calm before the storm silence. She had to climb over some rocks and go down a makeshift path that hadn't been there before the collapse, she went in an almost circular path, eventually making it an opening. There was a rock on the ground and a puddle of blood leaking from it. Not wanting to waste any time, she rushed to get to the other side of the rock, but she didn't find anyone she was looking for.

She would have taken a complete stranger over finding the wolf in sheep's clothing, the blond secretary, the real monster.

Ice and fire and every other elemental fury sparked inside her body at the sight of him. Him. He was the reason Steve was… She choked, the word 'dead' feeling too powerful. And then she was reminded that that's what she was. She was death, and she was even more powerful than the world.

Aaron's lower body was completely crushed beneath the large piece of building and it was killing him, that was clear from the blood pouring out of his mouth. He kept coughing it up, trying to stop himself before he choked completely but from the way his eyes kept slowly closing and opening, he was losing energy, he was losing his fight. For a moment, she was reminded of Charles, of the young man who lost his life because the world was far too cruel. Amelia wanted to be that cruel, she wanted to be crueler, she wanted Aaron to suffer.

Kneeling down beside him, Aaron finally became aware of her presence and he smiled, not realising that the lifting of his lips brought on only more tidal waves of rage within the brunette because he reminded her of his mother in that moment.

"You," he wheezed, head falling to the side limply, as though he was already dead. He widened his eyes to focus on her, and then he scoffed, "of course."

Amelia was quiet and completely still, watching him with a robotic expression on her face, as though she was dead.

"When I pretended to get kidnapped, I thought, maybe, if your powers go haywire like they did when you found out Captain America was caught-" He was forced to pause as more blood filled his throat and caused him to choke, he spat it out, the blood spattering the ground, fading into the dust like water would, "then that would mean you cared for me too. I guess not. I guess your powers really only do act out when _Steve_ gets hurt."

She hadn't realised it, not until Aaron pointed it out, but her powers were flowing out of every pore in her body, flames of black encircling and dancing around her body, their peaks like the whips slaves fear most, almost reaching the roof of the graveyard she wandered.

If Amelia was actually capable of feeling anything in that moment, she would have felt disbelief, because he was trying to turn her love for Steve into something bad when it was the only _good_ in her life. It was. _It was,_ before Aaron killed him.

Her hands were dirty, covered in dust and dried blood and more blood was seeping out of her scrapes and burns, her hands were practically black, like her soul was leaking out.

And the next thing Amelia knew was that those black fingers of hers had wrapped around Aaron and she slowly squeezing the _life_ out of him.

He didn't struggle to keep his eyes open then, they stared up wide into Amelia's, begging her to stop. But no. He didn't have the right to beg. The more he looked at her with that gaze, the harder she squeezed. Harder, and tighter, and stronger. Tears began to blur her eyes but she daren't blink because all she wanted to see, all she needed in that moment, was to see the light fade from her eyes.

At some point, Aaron stopped just being Aaron for her. He was Alexander Pierce, the man who'd taken her light and turned it into nothing but red. He was Rebecca, the person who had tried to do the same thing her father had once done. Amelia was exacting all the revenge she never could on to the blond secretary, squeezing out every spark of rage until there was nothing left in her, until there was nothing left in him.

And perhaps it was a kindness from the fates, that at least before he died, Aaron was prepared for what he would see next. He wouldn't go to heaven, where he would join his family, his brothers, his father, his mother. No. Aaron looked into her eyes and he saw what was waiting for him. Nothing. That was what he was going to. Nothing. Just an endless void of nothing. That's all he saw in her eyes. And Amelia hoped that was what greeted him as he finally passed in her hands, not AS09's, but Amelia Starks.

She was alone after that. Truly alone. A loneliness that was so loud it deafened her, and it crowded her into such a tightness that the building might as well have crumbled on top of her because she couldn't _breathe_.

Steve wasn't there. Tony wasn't there. No one was there, and she didn't know how to handle that.

There was so much pain, and so much _nothing_ , and Amelia didn't know how to handle that. She felt so full of everything, even her own powers were overwhelming her and she needed everything out. She needed to not feel anything anymore. She needed to not be alive anymore.

But she couldn't do that, and she couldn't bring Steve back, and she couldn't go back in time. All she could do was scream.

She screamed viciously, pouring out ever raw emotion into that one banshee wail. Her hands released Aaron's throat so she could slam them on the ground, her nails digging harshly into the dust and broken stones, trying to grab on to something, anything, that would bring her back but there was nothing. She screamed and she screamed and she screamed.

Amelia didn't notice the way that the building began to shake, didn't notice the black energy that seeped off her building, covering every inch of the ruin until everything was cloaked in her darkness. She didn't notice as she screamed, the building beginning to rise up. Aaron's body flew up as well. And then, along with the rocks, his corpse turned to dust. The entire building that had once stood ruin over Amelia became nothing but stardust that floated upward into the sky. She didn't notice herself _become_ ruin.

Where once there had been the inordinate building, was a small girl, screaming her heart out, unaware of the devastation her powers were carrying out. Unable to control it.

Because Steve Rogers was dead, _and so was she_.

* * *

 **A/N: So she's totally lost control and the world's gonna end next chapter and I pretty much lied to you all I'm totally ending the story next chapter (and clearly you can trust me, because I was telling the truth about Aaron).**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, glad I'm writing Ross as the douche he was meant to be lol. That question makes sense but I can't say anything cause plot and spoilers, I'm sorry. Me saying that sort of answers your question though?**

 **To Sam0728, I do love a good plot twist, as well as putting my characters through torture, apparently. I'm sorry, I do throw in the odd fluff here and there as like a bandage for all your emotional damage. Please don't sue me.**

 **To LieuDrake, oh that's cool! I hope the tattoo came out alright, whatever it is. I'm a bit of a tattoo enthusiast myself, it used to be my career of choice. And the consensus seems to be that people want a Bucky fanfic so I'll start thinking more about it, I just kind of need the plot to come to me for it. And no I get you, like Tom Holland is a year older than me, but then spidey is like fifteen and just... nope.**

 **To CrispyCoconut, I'm so sorry that I lied so much about Aaron, I did try to hint to it, kept using the word 'explosion' when describing him lol. And it does seem very Zemo-ish, doesn't it? And yeah, the Bucky fic is probably gonna happen but all I have right now for it is a sort of motif rather than a plot.**

 **To rosequartz121, it's no problem lol, well done on guessing!**

 **To FireflyDarkness, I totally lied I'm sorry, I often used words like 'explosion', I even compared him to Rebecca quite a bit. Gotta read between the lines lol. I'm glad I got you interested and thinking though. Again, I'm sorry for lying.**

 **To BrittStar1199, ohmygod 'the birthday version of the Red Wedding' I am so honored that you've given me that comparison. Thank you so much. Hope you enjoyed the chapter despite Aaron's betrayal!**

 **To Pitspee, a part of me kind of just wants to start Infinity War with her being like 'GOD BLESS YOUR BEARD OH MY GOD IT HAS SAVED MY LIFE AND CURED ALL MY AILMENTS' and maybe just end part five there but I don't think that would be very interesting lol. We'll definitely get some Amelia/Steve's Beard appreciation though. And y'know now that I think about it like yeah? Aaron does kind of have Pietro's face? It must be the name thing. I've no doubt if Amelia had a farm it would end up becoming a holiday home for everyone, whenever they're feeling down they can just go to Amelia's field and she'll cook them amazing meals and they can watch the sunset over the hills and play card games and just be happy like wow what a concept.**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, hope the shock has faded and that you're not mad at me for lying. I'm glad you thought the chapter was good and that you enjoyed the interactions. Thank you!**

 **And a big thank you to everyone that read the chapter, good luck recovering :)**


	68. Chapter Sixty-Five

**CHAPTER SIXTY-FIVE**

* * *

" _I am the symbol of a revolution I don't want and can't avoid."_

― _**Miranda Kulig**_

* * *

Steve felt his ears ring with the sound of silence. The moment he'd heard the explosion he'd crouched down to the floor, throwing himself on top of anyone he could find in hopes that maybe he'd be able to protect them, and then he'd waited for the building to crush him. But he ended up waiting longer than he expected.

After three seconds, he finally looked up, and his eyes met something _magnificent_. A net of red energy floated above him, stretching throughout the expanse of the room, keeping the broken pieces of the building from falling down on them. As he looked around, Steve's blue eyes focused on Wanda who had her hands raised, emitting her power that had saved countless lives. They widened for a moment, Steve in complete shock that the small girl had managed to do so much but then he noticed the strained expression on her face and the way her legs quaked and he realised that she wouldn't be able to hold up that barrier for much longer.

"Steve!" Tony called from up on the stage, his body on top of Pepper's, "have you seen Amelia?"

No, he hadn't. And he had no idea where she was and it was making his heart panic, a jackhammer in his chest but it was clear Wanda wasn't going to be able to keep that building up for much longer and he needed to get all the innocent lives out of there as soon as possible, that had to take priority.

Ignoring Tony, he located the God who was also staring up at the red veil above them with surprise and stupefaction. "Thor, Vision, see if you can find us a way out of here. And if you can't find one, make one." Vision had been stood beside Wanda and though he looked a little concerned about his brunette, he obeyed the leaders orders, joining Thor's search against the crumbled walls that encircled them, he could of at least be of use when it came to finding a suitable place for them to exit, somewhere where if they broke through the rocks it wouldn't cause the structure to cave in. To replace him, Steve began to make his way over to her, half trying to keep the crowd still, half trying to motivate the younger psychic. "You're doing so well right now," Steve cheered her on.

She gave him a pained smile, fingers curling as she pushed the energy from her fingertips despite that tiredness that overwhelmed her. From across the room Thor cried for Steve over and he began to walk away, eager to hear some good news.

"Steve," Wanda stopped him before he got too far away, earning the soldier's full attention, though his eyes continued to roam around the room searching for something, someone. "I'm ready for the field now," she was done waiting around to get Steve's permission. Wanda knew she was strong and she knew she was ready, and it was hard for anyone to deny that after her performance. Steve nodded in agreement, making no move to argue because she's proved herself worthy and more.

"Go back to Wanda, make sure she's okay," Steve said as he arrived to where Thor and Vision were standing, clapping Vision on the arm as he gave the order. He knew that if it was his girl, he'd want to be with her. As expected, Vision gave Steve a grateful nod and ran to return to Wanda. "Did you guys find a way out?" He asked Thor, getting straight to business.

The god nodded to a small opening at their side, it looked like a tunnel out but it was being blocked by a large slab that had fallen from the roof. "If me and you lift up this piece, people should be able to crawl underneath and get out."

"You reckon we can hold this up long enough to get over two hundred people out of here?" Steve asked, eyeing the giant piece of building that was the only thing which stood in the way of freedom for them.

"I'm the God of Thunder and you're a super soldier, of course we can," Thor urged, trying to seem positive though there was a slight twitch in his eyebrow that hinted at otherwise.

Tony approached them both, not doing anything to hide his panic, "I can't find Amelia," he told Steve, hoping it would make the soldier jump into action.

Steve wanted to, he wished he could do everything in his power to locate his girl, but he had to remember that there were over two hundred people in that building that couldn't protect themselves like Amelia. Two hundred people that would die if he chose to put all his efforts into finding Amelia. Noticing the microphone in Tony's hand, he pointed back up to the stage, "go do some crowd control, try and direct everyone here but make sure everyone stays calm, one wrong move could bring this all down."

"Steve, what about-"

"Tony, don't," the soldier ordered, almost robotic as he kept every frightened emotion hidden deep down inside of him. They didn't have long, Wanda wouldn't be able to hold on for much longer. And of course he hated himself, of course he detested the very ground he walked on in that moment, but he had to protect the little people first. "Go, Tony!"

But the billionaire didn't move, instead it was Pepper who grabbed the microphone from Tony's hand. "I'll do it," she offered, patting her boyfriend, wishing that she could offer more comfort but there wasn't much any of them could do whilst locked in their dome. The brave blonde moved on top of the stage, beginning to recite the commands she'd overheard Steve say. Sam and Nat joined in with the crowd control, making sure no fights broke out due to panic, making sure that no one stupid tried to get to the front of the line thinking they needed to be saved more than anyone else (a couple of guys tried, but they were just met with Sam's crutch).

Both Thor and Steve began to move around the stone, trying to find the best places for them to stand in order to lift it up.

Tony continued to stand near them, moving around so he could remain in Steve's line of sight, "we can't do this, what if she's hurt?"

"She's not our priority, Tony," he responded, beginning to grip one edge of the stone, trying to locate the best place for him to hold, somewhere that meant fewer chances of it slipping from his fingers. Luckily there was so much dust coating the stone it worked a lot like chalk, drying up his hands.

"How can you say that, after everything we just went through to get her back, how can you say that?" Tony continued, getting angrier and angrier, especially when Steve continued to pretend like he didn't care.

"Before, the only people at risk were us. Right now there are two hundred lives. Do you want that blood on your hands? Do you that blood on Amelia's hands, because you know as well as I do she'll blame herself if we let these people get crushed?" Steve had a point. He looked over to the billionaire, trying to make Amelia's brother see that he did actually care for the ex-assassin, that what he was doing, he was also doing for Amelia. When Tony made no attempt at responding, Steve knew Tony was starting to see his side of things. The soldiers following words were much more sincere, taking a break from the duty he'd been preaching to recognise that Tony was worried for his _sister_ , his only remaining family. "Help people get through Tony, we'll search for her after. I promise."

They set to work, the Avengers doing what they do best: saving people.

Minutes passed and both the god and the soldier felt their arms beginning to shake beneath the weight of the building they were holding up.

"You hanging in there, Thor?" Steve questioned, beginning to grit his teeth together.

"Of course I am," the god scoffed, "you look like you could do with a break though."

"How about you worry about your own fingers slipping, huh?" Steve was glad that he had Thor by his side then because the god somehow managed to turn it into a fun competition, motivating the both of them to keep holding on despite the dull ache encompassing their arms.

Sam sacrificed his crutch after Tony suggested making their own scaffolding to ease the weight somewhat, as well as make sure it was possible for everyone else to slip out. Once all civilians had slipped out that's what everyone concentrated their efforts onto. The police and firefighters on the other side were helpful, sending through an inflatable bag that would help keep the space in the tunnel free for them to climb through.

It was making sure that the space in the room didn't crush them all as they escaped that was the challenge.

Things were made a lot easier when Pepper started using Friday, the AI scanning the room for extra pieces of rubble they could put together to create a momentary structure. Tony had brought his suit, he hadn't needed to, but he'd brought it and despite Pepper's complaints about the suit being of no use at a party, the suit ended up being a lifesaver, giving Tony the strength he needed to move around the bits of furniture and create for four towers of rock that would hold up the roof, only for a moment.

He'd ordered Pepper to get out of there with the rest of the crowd, and soon enough it was just the Steve, Thor, Tony, Vision, and Wanda left underneath the red dome Wanda had created.

"We're going to have to be quick Wanda," Vision explained, standing next to her and cradling her body as she was struggling to keep herself standing. He was worried, that much was clear. "The structure Tony has made will only hold so long. You'll have to release your powers and I will carry us out of here."

Her wide brown eyes moved over to his and she matched that look of concern he possessed, "what if we're not fast enough?"

Vision did not respond, he simply raised up one of his hands and pressed it against Wanda's cheek, the girl the most real thing his artificial fingers had ever had the pleasure to touch. And he knew in that moment then, that he would do everything in his power to make sure she was safe, not even an entire collapsing building would stop him from doing so. She just needed to trust him, and for some reason, Wanda found herself incapable of not doing so.

"You guys should be able to let go now!" A firefighter called from outside of the collapsed building through the tunnel to Thor and Steve. "Make sure you release the weight slowly!"

Thor and Steve nodded to each other and thankfully the piece of building was held up completely by the inflatable pillow the firefighters had supplied. They had their exit, Sam and Natasha were already outside and safe. It took one look between Steve and Tony to decide what their next move would be.

"Wanda, how much longer do you think you can hold on for?" The soldier asked.

"I'm good." No, she wasn't. The small girl was carrying the weight of an entire building, she was far from okay. But Wanda knew that they were about to go looking for Amelia and she was just as worried over the unaccounted for brunette and just like any good family would, Wanda was willing to hold the weight of the world for a little longer.

Vision, on the other hand, disagreed. Much like how Steve would protect Amelia, Vision wasn't going to just allow them to use Wanda and hurt her. "What? Wanda, no. Steve, carrying on like this could kill her."

"Vision, stop," Wanda whispered, doing nothing but making it even more clear how worn she was from her efforts, her voice unable to reach anything higher than a whisper.

"No, we need to get you out of here _now_." Vision persisted, his voice turning a little softer as he looked back to Wanda. He didn't really know how to convey his care for her, he hoped she felt it. That's how it was with them sometimes. Sometimes they didn't need to say anything to each other. Sometimes they could just _feel_ each other.

She wished that she could soothe Vision, hating the unsettlement burning in him but all she was trying to do was be like Amelia. For Wanda, she knew the fellow psychic would do everything in her power to protect the people she cared about, even if it meant putting herself at risk so that's exactly what Wanda was trying to do. So, even though it hurt her to go against Vision, Wanda believed it was what she _had_ to do. "But Amelia-" Wanda tried to argue, only for Vision to interrupt her, acting very uncharacteristically as calmness seemed impossible for him to achieve.

"We don't even know if Amelia is inside the building," he continued to urge, trying to make them all see that they were risking all of their lives for possibly nothing.

"We're wasting time here," Tony intervened, done waiting around, he needed to get to his sister. "if we separate there's a chance we'll find her quicker-" In the midst of Tony's words, Wanda suddenly fell, going completely limp in Vision's arms.

"Wanda! Wanda!" He cried, shaking her, trying to get her to wake up but she was gone completely, her powers finally taking their toll and sapping the very life out of her. She looked dead. Completely pale with a purplish tint to her porcelain skin. He wanted to check for a heartbeat, wanted to make sure that she was okay, but there wasn't any opportunity to do so as the weight of the building began to fall on top of them.

It was over. They were all dead. It was over.

It would take a miracle to save them, that's what Steve begged for in his final seconds as he watched a large boulder drop towards him, he begged all the higher powers in existence for a miracle.

But he didn't need to beg them, because after everything him and Amelia had gone through, he should have known that she'd keep him safe, no matter how much distance was in between them, she'd always keep him safe. Amelia Stark was his miracle.

The rocks that were centimeters away from crushing them all had frozen in the sky, as though time itself had stopped. For a moment, Steve thought it was Wanda who had saved them, but then he noticed the black energy that began to encompass the rocks, and he recognised it not as the looming horrors in every dark corner, but as the canopy of black that hugged every star and made their shine even brighter.

Before his very eyes, he witnessed the rocks as they started to float up and become nothing, melting into dust particles that shimmered and sparkled, continuing to rise up into the sky, like stars going back home.

The entire building that had surrounded them in ruin was gone.

To their left, people began to scream and yell, some in awe by what they saw, some frightened. Pepper ran over to Tony, checking to see if he was okay. Everyone felt so disoriented, having been so sure they were going to die, but they weren't, they'd all lived, they'd all been saved, they just didn't know by what.

The space left after the building was gone, was like two football fields, stretching as far as Steve could see. He began to spin around, hoping to see Amelia because he knew it was her that had saved him.

He'd gotten so hopeful, his heart brimming with the emotion like water sunlight bubbling and churning passionately. It was poisoned though, black clouds a blanket over the light, as more screams began to fill the empty space.

He was the first of the Avengers to spot her.

Amelia Stark was alive, but she was not Amelia Stark. She was just a girl, kneeling on the ground, screaming, with black emanating from her body like the way ink infiltrated water. It passed through the space and everything it touched was turned to dust. He watched as it moved closer and closer to the civilians they'd got out. It passed over a metal rail by the stairs, and it fell apart as though it was nothing but sand.

Thor was the first to step into action, running over to the crowds and beginning to yell for them to get as far away as possible. He was the only one not surprised by the sight of Amelia's destructive powers.

Pepper pulled Tony back away from the black mist, having to tug harshly as he was a lot stronger than her and in a state of hypnosis as he stared at his sister who looked nothing like his sister. Vision had pulled Wanda away to safety, leaving Steve alone.

"Cap, get out of there!" Thor yelled, beginning to charge forward so he could snap the soldier out of whatever daze he was in.

Steve heard him, heard the way the God was acting like he was in some kind of danger but no that didn't make sense, Amelia would never hurt him.

It wasn't Amelia that Thor was worried about though, it was the darkness that slipped from her skin like water fell from a storm cloud. that had him most concerned. That darkness was her power, the terrible, destructive power that he'd been so concerned about, and just like he'd said, Amelia had clearly lost control of it. "We have to stop her," he gravely said to the soldier, but Steve looked at him with a hardened gaze, making it clear that he wasn't planning on letting anyone touch her.

His girl was alive, but she was _not_ Amelia Stark, not anymore. She was a black rose, beautifully dangerous. She was a demon not from choice, and perhaps that was what made her even more dangerous, because she'd _made_ hell her own home. She was a bullet shell, her hair smelling of war and blood and running and rust. That demon kneeled on the ground was not praying, not begging, she was saying goodbye and even the gods themselves were trembling at the sight of her.

Even Steve was being daunted by the catastrophe leaking from his girl, falling from her back like two outstretched wings, daunting in size. It ate away at the ground and anything the black mist touched turned to dust, encompassed by the dark flames and consumed. It was hard for anyone to look at the girl then and not think 'she was going to change the world'. And she was, if no one stopped her. She was going to set the entire world on fire.

Realising that the soldier was going to try and stop him from doing what Thor believed was right, he started to walk forward, about to walk past Steve to go take care of Amelia himself, but he was stopped by an iron hand. "Wait," Tony demanded, earning quite the glare from the god but he didn't stand down, "let Steve go."

"What?"

"Let Steve go," he repeated himself, voice even more resilient the second time. After having Friday analyse Amelia, it was clear that his sister was experiencing some sort of panic attack, it was at least something similar to that and Tony knew the only person who'd be able to get through to her then was Steve. He'd be the only one capable of bringing her back from whatever state she'd gone into. And he also was the only one Amelia could never hurt, though that made Tony feel a little bitter, he knew it was the truth.

Whilst Tony saw a panic attack though, Thor saw overwhelming power taking its toll on a mortal that was never meant to possess it. She was a bomb.

Tony and Steve shared a look, both finally agreeing on something, both finally a team again after all the arguing they'd been doing.

The soldier stepped bravely into the black mist, and just as Tony had predicted, it had no effect on him, the darkness parting like the red sea as he walked towards his lover.

As a little test for himself, Tony reached out towards the black flames. He'd hoped that maybe Amelia would be able to recognise him as well, that maybe he was as important to her as Steve was, but the moment the edges of his fingers touched the mist, the metal on his hand began to erode and fall off, joining the storm of dust which floated upwards.

Meanwhile, Steve Rogers finally reached Amelia, and she was literally falling apart.

She was whispering something under her breath, her eyes tightly closed and her hands sunken into the ground. Her dress was in pieces, the expensive gown nothing but loose bits of fabric on her. And her skin was falling apart, small wounds opening up and blood beginning to seep from her, only to then be healed moments later. The power she was using was destroying her, that much was clear.

The soldier fell to the ground in front of her. He wanted to reach out and hold her, but he was scared, absolutely terrified. Not because of her, but because he didn't know how to fix whatever was happening.

"Amelia?" He called her name softly, the name passing his lips as desperate as it had when they made love for the first time. She didn't react at all.

Steve Rogers thought about his duty to the country he served, he thought about his role in the world, and how he was meant to protect it, and deep down he knew that Freckles was going to harm that world. He thought about his duty, and he turned his head away from it. Because this wasn't about duty, this was about the woman he loved _more than anything_.

"Amelia…" He tried again, voice cracking, but his words didn't reach her, all she heard were the words that she whispered.

He leaned in closer, not so close that they were touching, but just close enough so that he could hear the two words she repeated: "He's dead."

Steve's eyes widened as he realised what was causing her to act out, what was causing her so much agony that the only way she could possibly deal with it was to send that agony out to the world around her. She thought he was dead, and Amelia couldn't possibly live another second in such a world.

Monster. Demon. Fallen angel. Wolf. Perhaps she was none of those things, or maybe she was all of them. Either way, she was still human enough to feel the pain of losing the one she loved.

His hands moved automatically, going to grip around hers that were dry from the dirt which crusted around them but he didn't care, he squeezed them as tightly as he could, pale white encompassing black, his light folding over her darkness. Her hands were scarred from murder, but Steve trusted them completely.

"No, I'm not," he urged, "Amelia I'm not dead, I'm right here."

Her eyes flashed up, opening wide and revealing nothing but black, even the whites of her eyes had been consumed by that darkness, leaving nothingness. Even though her eyes looked at him, she wasn't _looking at him_.

And for a moment, for a split second, Steve genuinely thought that he'd lost her, that Thor was right, that his worst fear had come to life and he'd have to put Amelia down (he couldn't do that, he could never do that), until he saw the stars. Looking into her eyes, he saw them all, the thousands of constellations that twinkled and dazzled and _overwhelmed_. And Steve knew then that she was Amelia, still his favorite girl.

"Amelia," he repeated her name, saying her name with a more solid voice as he felt more resolute, "Amelia I'm right here, I promise."

The brunette shook her head, tears falling from her eyes but they were consumed by the black flames as well. "No," she denied, matching his adamant tone with her own, "he's dead."

Steve smiled, widely, with his teeth showing, hiding the dread that boiled inside his stomach well. If he didn't smile then he would start crying, and that was the last thing he wanted to Amelia to see. He moved his hands up, curling his fingers in her hair, "if I was dead, then how could I do this?"

He kissed her without any fear. He kissed her like maybe it would be the last time they ever kissed. He kissed her with the force of tidal waves and the softness of silk gliding across flesh. He kissed her full of love. _He kissed her_.

And for a moment she was frozen, even the surrounding black flames that fell from her skin like feathers from a fallen angels wings seemed to freeze as she was overcome by the sensation. It was wonderful, and breathtaking, and so _so_ familiar. It was Steve. Steve Rogers. Steve Rogers was alive.

Steve Rogers was alive. Those four words passed through her mind, and though only four words, they held the power to restart her heart.

 _Life_ flooded through her as the warmth of Steve's kiss made the blood pump through her veins again. She could do nothing to stop her hands from suddenly running their way up to his hair, pulling on it slightly as she finally pushed against Steve, her entire body curving into his as though he was an oxygen mask saving her life. He was in some ways. And when they parted, the world felt different, but it didn't matter as they pressed their foreheads together and breathed heavily, holding each other, reveling in the safety of each other's arms.

What they didn't see around them was Amelia's darkness melting into white, beginning to float upwards into the sky, becoming nothing but stars.

* * *

 **A/N: I swear this is as cheesy as it gets. Also, I apologise if there are a few spelling/grammar mistakes in this, more than usual, I'm hella tired but I want to get the chapter out for you.**

 **So I'm at the planning stage with part four which will include the plot of Civil War, if there's anything you guys would like to see lemme know and there's a chance that I'll include it :)**

 **To LoveFiction2018, it was fun seeing all your reactions lol, hope you enjoyed this chapter as well**

 **To CrispyCoconut, chapter kinda answered your questions. Hope you enjoyed it and didn't find it horrendously cheesy!**

 **To Pitspee, she really does need 'normal' in her life, but then again, maybe she's too different. Different doesn't always have to be a bad thing! And agreed, I miss Pietro too! I wish I could have brought him back to life but that would have made Amelia way too mary-sue for my liking. If she ever does bring someone back from the dead (maybe in Infinity War pt2) then it will cost her** **A LOT** ** _._**

 **To rosequartz121, I'm incredibly evil. I'm also very sorry that I ruined your day, maybe this chapter helped?**

 **To BrittStar1199, yeah Amelia seriously needs a break, too bad the plot of Civil War is about to hit her. Oh well. RIP Amelia.**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, I don't see the similarities myself but I'm interested to know what they are? Thank you again, you're always way too kind about the chapters. And nah, this story ain't ending until Steve dies! Which is both a positive thing and a bad thing, because I don't want Cap to die. Like, ever.**

 **And thanks to everyone that read the chapter!**


	69. Chapter Sixty-Six

**CHAPTER SIXTY-FIVE**

* * *

" _You need to know what to do when the sun is not shining."_

― _**Robert Downey Jr**_

* * *

"The rules have changed," Steve stated, walking down the hallway of the Avengers facility with Thor and Tony.

"We're dealing with something new," the billionaire added.

"Well, the Vision is artificial intelligence."

"A machine," Tony agreed

"So it doesn't count," he concluded, eyebrows scrunched together as he put a lot of thought in what he said.

"No," the billionaire concurred, "it's not like a person lifting the hammer."

Steve nodded his head, "right, different rules for us."

"Nice guy, but artificial," Tony waved his hands as he spoke, and Steve even joined in, pointing his palm hand towards Tony whilst looking at Thor, as if to say 'the man has got a point'.

Thor smiled widely at their attempts to justify Vision being able to pick up the hammer. The conversation topic had come up when Thor revealed it was time for him to go back home to protect his own world from evils. During that conversation, he'd also explained that he was entrusting Vision with the mind stone. Not only had Vision proven himself worthy of such a duty, but he'd also been able to pick up Mjolnir which for Thor was the best measure of worthiness. Him revealing that had only led Tony to argue that Vision being able to pick up the hammer didn't make him any better than the rest of them, and surprisingly Steve joined in.

The soldier had been in a particularly good mood, Sam had joked that it was because he was having fun with Amelia under the sheets finally but really it was because things had gone back to the way they were (excluding the fact that he now had a sex life), which wasn't something he'd expected after everything that happened on Amelia's birthday.

She'd recovered well, better than she had after Rebecca shot herself. Amelia had jumped straight into acting as though nothing had happened, she seemed okay, or, that was what she wanted Steve to think anyway. She started hanging out with her friends again, spending time with Tony in his lab, and she wasn't so up and down with Steve anymore, whenever she was around him she seemed happy, just like how things used to be. Perhaps too much like how things used to be.

Steve had his concerns, of course he did, he always seemed to be concerned about something, especially when it came to Freckles. But he was just happy to have her with him, and alive, and not losing control of her powers.

She was doing everything she could to make sure that it never happened again. Training more, doing more experiments with Tony, she'd finally sat down with Thor and heard what he had to say, learning everything she could from the god about the space stone as well as looking into all of Striker's files on the experiment he'd done on her. Amelia had done everything she possibly could to ensure that she didn't hurt anyone else and he was so proud of her because of that. He always knew she was _good_ , but it was always special for him to see her defying the world's expectations.

That was why he was truly happy, because the past few days - including last night - he'd spent with his Freckles, watching her and helping her walk into the light again.

Last night they'd spent it inside their room, filling the one empty wall they had with all of Strucker's research that they thought might help her with training herself. They'd had hot chocolates as they did so and it was one of Steve's happiest moments. The two of them had sat there on the floor, Amelia wrapped underneath one of his arms as they read through each individual piece of paper, hot chocolate in their hands warming up their skin as their presence together warmed up their souls.

"If you put the hammer in an elevator," Steve added.

"It would still go up," Tony finished.

"Elevator's not worthy," both the billionaire and the soldier looked quite smug about the argument they'd made, Thor simply smiling with lighthearted amusement. "And Freckles lifted up the table, which lifted up the hammer. I love her, but she's not worthy."

"Worthy enough to pick up the table, but not the hammer," Tony was beginning to speak with his hands, throwing them around as he spoke. They made it to the end of the hallway, leaving the building to enter a wide open field, the facilities outside training area.

They stopped their journey there, Thor walking further into the field before turning around to face his friends. His eyes moved straight to Steve, "how is Amelia?"

"She's good, better after your talk with her," Steve answered, "are you sure you can't stay? Amelia could really do with having you here."

Thor's smile turned bitter as he shook his head, "Amelia and the powers she possesses are in safe hands, I know that now. As long as she has you, the powers of the space stone will be in safe hands," his tone was resolute, and happiness was evident.

When Thor saw Amelia after the explosion, he didn't want to fight her, but he'd known that if he hadn't then innocent lives would have been taken. He was overwhelmingly glad when it turned out all Amelia needed was Steve. She didn't need someone to change her, to look at her dark side and wish it gone, that was what Thor wanted to do. No, the little Stark needed someone to see her dark side and not want to change it, not want to change her, but to instead accept that darkness for what it was, and not let that stop them from showing her light. That's what Steve did. It was hard for her to have a heart when she'd stopped so many others, so he shared his with her.

"And besides," Thor continued, inhaling deeply the smell of Midgard, he'd been there so long he'd forgotten the smell of his own home, "I have no choice. The mind stone is the fourth of the infinity stones to show up in the last few years. That's not a coincidence. Someone has been playing an intricate game and has made pawns of us. But once all these pieces are in position…"

"Triple Yahtzee?" Tony offered, and Thor nodded, aware of the game and what his words meant.

"You think you can find out what's coming?" Steve crossed his arms over his chest, beginning to wonder if it was something he needed to be more worried about. He'd become so concerned with Amelia he'd started ignoring other things, including the search for Bucky.

They'd said they would go back to searching for him after Freckles met her brother, but then Ultron had happened, and then Rebecca.

"I do," Thor answered Steve's question, taking another step backward to create some more space between them. "Besides the Starks, there's nothing that can't be explained." With those words he threw up his hand, hammer raised to the sky and a brilliant beam of colour shot down onto him, teleporting him away to Asgard, to his home.

He didn't say goodbye, because the god knew that it would not be the last time he saw them, he had no idea though of the circumstances that would end up bringing them back together. He had no idea.

* * *

"How is this supposed to help you with your powers? Shouldn't you be meditating or something?" Natasha asked, collapsing onto the mat beside Amelia, both of the girls out of breath and sweating after a heavy training session.

Amelia took a long swig from her water bottle, loving the way the cool liquid fell down her throat. She put it down on the floor, closing the lid almost harshly as she fell back onto the training mat beneath her so she was fully laid down, arms spread out. "My mind is too busy for meditation, training is the only thing that empties it." Her head lolled to the side so that she could look to Nat, watching her best friend run her hand through her hair with a pained expression on her face, "does your scar still hurt?"

"Only when I overexert myself, it's still healing," Natasha spoke nonchalant, trying to not make a big deal out of the wound on the side of her head, but Amelia's eyebrows scrunched together in concern as she sat up, reaching out with her hand towards the redhead who immediately leaned away from the touch. "What are you doing?"

"Just hold still," Amelia ordered, hand reaching over to Natasha's wound again. Once it was close enough, white began to run from her fingers onto the cut, healing it.

"Wait, Freckles-" Something stopped Natasha from being able to say anything else. Something brilliant. It was a weird sensation for Natasha, not like anything she'd ever felt. It was almost like the sun itself was entering her body, an entire side brimming her with light, overflowing her with warmth. There was no pain as her skin repaired itself where the wound used to be, just something amazingly… _light_.

But it was not the same for Amelia. No, she did not get to feel the light that she gave away, only the pain that she got back. Like a knife slowly piercing her skin and tearing it apart at an excruciating pace. The feel of warm blood melting down her face was not appealing. Once it was done, once she had taken the wound to herself, she collapsed to the ground, the hand that had once been sending white energy to Natasha immediately falling down so she could hold herself up.

Natasha followed her, immediately placing one arm on her shoulder so she could keep Amelia from falling completely to the ground, "are you okay? Amelia? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," the brunette eventually answered, though her tone was weak, even she heard it, "seriously I'm fine Nat." She pushed away the redhead's hand, sitting up on her own and trying to make a display of it so her friend would know she was really okay. Amelia couldn't help put press one hand against the aching wound, most of the pain subsiding as she centered her powers around healing it.

"You shouldn't have done that," Natasha tutted, and despite her telling that to Amelia, her lips stretched upward as she felt across where the tear in her skin had once been.

Amelia rolled her eyes, taking her water bottle again and taking a sip of the water, wishing it was something much more sugary, as she grabbed her towel and wiped it across her head where the blood was. Then she turned back to Nat, though her eyes didn't raise up off the ground to look at her, "I shouldn't have hurt you in the first place, there's no point you suffering because I..."

She couldn't finish her sentence because there were far too many things that she'd done, Amelia didn't know which one to pick first. She'd betrayed them. She'd killed again. She'd made Rebecca kill herself. She'd drove Aaron to set off a bomb. She'd let her powers overwhelm her and risked everyone's life.

No one knew about how she'd killed Aaron. No one knew that she'd wrapped her own hands around his throat, and watched the light drain from his eyes, and gotten a sick pleasure from doing so. It was shameful for her. A kill that was not AS09's, and not one done for a good cause, it was Amelia's kill and it had been nothing but a hateful vendetta. It was something she couldn't even talk to Steve about, all she'd told him was that Aaron was there when the bomb went off and she suspected that he was killed by it.

"Because of the Kaplan's, not because of you. It isn't your fault Freckles, none of it." The brunette's eyes still remained cast downward though, forcing Nat to shove at her side slightly until black orbs finally focused on her. "Hey, what did I tell you? Don't wait for the light at the end of the tunnel-"

"-Light the bitch up yourself," Amelia finished and it was enough to finally get through the dark clouds she was forcing over herself, a habit she was becoming very good at doing.

"Exactly." Natasha gave a determined nod, causing both of the girls to giggle slightly, the tension easing. "You going to be okay to do some more training, or do you want to go to the med bay?"

"I'm going to need five minutes just to concentrate on healing it," Amelia explained. The wound was already pretty much healed, but she would be able to speed up the process of turning it into (another) scar by focusing her energy into that spot. Just as she closed her eyes, imagining in her mind white light surrounding her new wound, the door to the training room opened, surprising her and forcing her to open her dark brown eyes, instantly connecting with blue. "Hey Steve-"

He'd walked in casually, but then the soldier saw Amelia's face that had lines of blood falling across it and his face had dropped instantaneously, Steve becoming clearly concerned as he rushed over to Amelia. "What happened?" As he reached her, Amelia moved to stand up. She was going to stop him from getting so panicked, realising that she hadn't managed to wipe away all the blood, but Steve had already grabbed her face and was examining the wound. It didn't seem to click at first that it was Natasha's injury as he looked to the redhead with an accusatory glare, "I thought you guys were just training?!"

Immediately Nat put up her hands, "don't look at me, Rogers."

After realising that Steve thought she'd gotten it in a training accident, she put her own hands on his cheeks to get the soldiers attention whilst she explained the truth, "hey, calm down, we were. I just healed Nat's wound, that's all. It'll heal."

Amelia had thought that by telling him the truth it would ease his concern but every word that came out of her mouth seemed to only deepen Steve's frown and by the time she'd finished he was swaying his head side to side and letting out a deep sigh. "Amelia, we've talked about this."

"I know but-"

"You shouldn't be healing anyone until you learn more about your powers, we don't know the effect it will have on your body." Steve reminded her of what they'd previously discussed with Tony, her healing powers being one of the things she wanted to train most as it could be the most helpful. Though whilst it could be the most beneficial for the team, they'd all agreed that it could also be the most dangerous for Amelia. Steve was angry because she'd _agreed_ with Tony that before healing anyone else she'd do some tests.

"I _know_ , but it wasn't Nat's scar to bare," she finally managed to get her words out to the soldier, his shoulders slumping down seconds later as Amelia's intentions were finally clear to him. Amelia knew that she was supposed to be acting okay, and she hated to show her lover signs that maybe she wasn't, but she needed Steve to understand. Her eyes cast downward, the brunette finding herself incapable of looking in his eyes as she hated to burden Steve with her problems, "it's mine."

From behind them, Nat sent Steve a look, urging him to talk to her about it during one of her rare open moments. "I'll just leave you two to talk," the redhead was quick, grabbing all of her stuff and getting out of the training room as soon as she could so Steve wouldn't lose such an important moment. They were all starting to get a little worried because Amelia didn't have Rebecca anymore, she didn't have an outlet, and she'd rarely ever tell them of her troubles. So moments like that one, where she was showing her vulnerabilities, were important.

But the problem was that Nat leaving had Amelia becoming convinced that she was just becoming an issue whenever she shared her dark thoughts. They just wanted smiley Amelia, and she didn't blame them, she wanted to be smiley Amelia. Just, sometimes, it was a little difficult.

Amelia fell towards Steve, placing her head against his chest. "I'm sorry," she rubbed her nose against him, inhaling his scent, he smelled just like home to her, "but I'm fine I swear."

"You're saying that a lot," Steve noted.

The brunette pulled away and raised up one eyebrow, "what?"

"That you're fine. It's okay if you're not, you know, you've been through a lot," he looked down at her with the same softness he always did, even from when they first met, and that was perhaps the most magical thing about their relationship for her. That even after almost two years, he still looked at her the same way he did since their connection first began.

And that's why her response was easy. "I'm going to be fine," she raised herself up slightly, peppering his lips with a one second kiss, "as long as I have you, I'm going to be fine."

Amelia was being truthful as she said that, because with him she was happy. With him she could laugh, and feel alive, and have fun. Problems didn't seem so terrible when she was with him. But then, there were the odd nights where at three in the morning she'd be wide awake, feeling alone, thinking about life. And sometimes, she'd find herself crying, convincing herself that problems were bad, that she was alone, that she was horrible. And in those moments, she couldn't really remember ever being happy. But that moment wasn't one of those moments. That was a happy moment, where she could say something like 'I'll be fine' and truly believe it.

Steve's eyes narrowed down at her slightly, her peck on his lips warming them so much that they lifted upwards, "stop trying to sweet talk me when I'm meant to be mad at you."

"You shouldn't be so susceptible to my sweet talk," her hands moved up to tug on the hair that fell down at the back of his neck, feeling playful as she teased him. What she hadn't expected was him suddenly run his hands down to her thighs and lift her up off the ground. "Ah!" She screamed, chuckling as she did so, her legs automatically wrapping around his waist tightly whilst her hands remained by his neck.

She tried to not think about Aaron's throat that she'd crushed beneath her hands. She tried.

Steve made it easier for her to do that as he stretched out his neck so that he could press his lips against hers, wanting more than just a peck from her that time. Their lips fit together much like how their bodies did, like they were two puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly, creating the most beautiful piece of art. And when they were parted, both were momentarily stunned, remaining inches apart, the kiss over but their connection still strong. "Just go to the med bay, please?" He whispered, opening his eyes the same moment Amelia did, "and I'll go make us hot chocolates, meet you back at our room?"

The brunette cocked her head to the side teasingly, "I don't know, I might want something hotter if we go to our room."

He seemed to think on it a moment, pushing his eyebrows together and jutting out his bottom lip, as though the thoughts were challenging. He'd made a decision the moment she'd spoken though, and it shone clearly in the boyish smile that broke through his mask, Steve looking almost cheeky which was a welcome sight for Amelia. "I think that can be arranged."

"Alright, well if you want me to go to the medbay you're gonna have to put me down," Amelia bargained.

He didn't immediately, the soldier's hands tightening under her thighs as he kissed her once again, after that he was finally ready to let her out of his hold. They began to part, Amelia walking over to her water bottle and towel whilst Steve set himself on a journey to the kitchen to go and make their hot chocolates. As he reached the door to the training room though he seemed to remember something, turning himself around to face Amelia once again, "oh, your powers, have you seen anymore of the black energy?"

A tight smile filled her face as she looked to Steve, the stretch of her lips almost painful as she shook her head. She didn't speak, the brunette knowing that if she did then the strain in her voice would make the strain of her smile far more obvious, and the falsity in the lie she was telling would be revealed.

Thankfully the soldier seemed to accept the answer, returning her smile with one that was much less fake before he finally exited the training room.

What Amelia didn't notice was Steve stopping outside of the door and looking back to Amelia through the small window in the door, watching her as she crouched down to the floor, back facing him. He proceeded to look down at his hand, taking a small velvet black box from his pocket, opening it up to reveal a beautiful ring. It was simple in design, just a silver band encrusted with small diamonds. It was simple in design, but still beautiful.

And what Steve didn't notice was as Amelia crouched down inside the training room, she held up her hand and examined her fingers, black flames sparking across her skin.

* * *

 **A/N: So Amelia's losing control a lil'. Sure, she can get a better understanding of her powers and stuff, but is that the real problem?**

 **Welcome to the end of part three (oh wow), and the week hiatus! I'll probably miss you guys, and I'll be uploading the part four introduction soon (probably tomorrow) AND THEN WE FINALLY GET TO CIVIL WAR! I'M FREAKING OUT!**

 **To CrispyCoconut, so I'm afraid I cant include that last one because its already in this chapter, but the rest I'll try my best with! And tbh it's not really your fault because I'm terrible with sarcasm.**

 **To Assbitch67, this made me laugh, thank you for gifting me a giggle. Sorry I hurt your emotions so much tho.**

 **To FireflyDarkness, thank you I'm glad no one found it like cringey cheesy lol**

 **To BrittStar1199, you saying 'can't say he didn't have it coming' ended up getting Cell Block Tango (a song, just in case you don't know what it is) stuck in my damn head and it's been there all day. I keep imagining Amelia doing a lil dance and singing it. And yes, Amelia does deserve a break, but in a world where people like Ross exist, is such a thing even possible?**

 **To Shadowbringer101, same**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, thank youuuuuuuuu. I've probably said that a hundred times to you by now but you're so nice, you deserve it said a million times more. And lol yeah that's a pretty big similarity I guess!**

 **To Pitspee, so I looked at the instagram and there's a particular art piece done by eric persson and that's like the closest to Amelia's look. And yeah I wish Tony and Mia could be more like Shuri and T'challa. And I'll be honest with ya, I don't know all that much about Captain Marvel so, maybe? Idk I have some comics for Captain Marvel I need to read before the movie comes out.**

 **To rosequartz121, lol you're welcome**

 **To Hellawoez, an angel to some, a demon to others**

 **And a big thanks to everyone that read the chapter, I'll see you in a weeks time! (Unless you're reading this in the future when I've already started part four, in which case, see you soon)**


	70. Part Four

**Part Four**

* * *

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds

Or bends with the remover to remove;

O no! It is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come;

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved

\- ' _Sonnet 116', William Shakespeare_

* * *

 **Who was Amelia Stark? She was Steve Rogers girlfriend, Tony Stark's sister. An angel to some, a demon to others. She was a warrior, a goddess, a monster. She was** _ **indestructible**_ **.**

 **This is the story of her death.**


	71. Chapter Sixty-Seven

**CHAPTER SIXTY-SEVEN**

* * *

" _During the day, memories could be held at bay, but at night, dreams became the devil's own accomplices."_

― _**Sharon Kay Penman**_

* * *

 _The car she was in raced down the road, it wasn't actually going all that fast but her young mind thought they were going_ _ **at least**_ _a thousand miles an hour as the dark woodlands that surrounded the road was a blur. She tried to see more, rising up in her car seat and stretching her neck as far as she could, she held up her toy wolf so that he could get a good look of the outside as well. There were barely any street lights, but she enjoyed the way the world outside glowed for a second before falling back into darkness again whenever they did pass one._

" _Amelia, sit down properly honey," her father called from the front of the car and she did so immediately, plopping back down into the cushioned seat, Woof the wolf being perched on her chubby legs. Her wide onyx eyes peered over to her father but he was staring straight at the road._

 _Beside her father was the woman she recognized as 'mummy', who had turned around to look at her, a warm smile stretched the woman's aged face and the sight of it had the two-year-old immediately grinning, there were a few teeth there but for the most part, it was gummy. She couldn't help it, Amelia's favourite sight was the smile on her mummy's face, that, and her brother who sadly wasn't with her then, he had something else he needed to do._

 _For a moment her mother's smile began to wobble slightly but the aged woman quickly turned away before Amelia saw the concerned expression etched on her face. She turned to face Howard, "I don't feel good about this."_

 _Howard wasn't looking at Amelia but she saw his hardened expression in the front mirror. His eyes moved to look at Amelia in that mirror. He didn't try to soften his gaze like her mother had, no, distress was still apparent but he doubted the child's ability to actually pick up on it._

 _She didn't like seeing that look in his eyes, that darkness, so she solved the problem quite easily by once again looking out the window and, just like that, her father's disgruntled expression was forgotten as her attention fixated on the dark green that passed them by. If it wasn't for the rumble of the car beneath her then she would have doubted they were even moving, quite easily believing that it was the green outside soaring past them instead of their vehicle soaring past the scenery._

" _We're almost home," he gruffly responded, trying to keep his voice low but Amelia still managed to hear his attempt at reassurance for his wife. She couldn't really understand the meaning behind his words and his panicked tone._

 _Amelia noticed a peculiar light appear behind them, becoming closer and brighter. Instinctively her hands tightened around her wolf teddy, begging it to gift her some courage, she didn't know why, but she was scared._

 _Finally the source of light appeared in the window, a man on a motorcycle. And then all of a sudden it wasn't baby Amelia in the back of that car, but the full-grown version and she knew what was about to happen._

 _Looking alarmed, she turned away from the motorcycle, calling out for her parents but all that came out was a childish whine, and Amelia realized then that she was still locked in her younger selves body. She couldn't warn them about it, she couldn't save them._

 _It was the worst form of torture, being there, knowing that her parents were about to be killed, and being completely incapable of stopping it._

 _She spun her head back harshly to the window, facing the man on the motorbike who was beginning to reach out with his hand._

 _His face. That's all she needed, to just_ _ **see his face**_ _._

 _She tried to peer around his fluttering hair, tried to see past the dirt that covered the windows. She needed to know who it was, she was so close, she just needed to see his face, then she could hunt him down and make him pay._

 _But it was too late. The car swerved, and Amelia managed to turn her head fast enough to see the lamppost coming towards them, or, the lamp post they were crashing into._

 _And then everything went black._

But Amelia heard the clash of metal against stiff wood, heard the scream from her mother, felt the pain of her body flying forward, felt the lost warmth as her teddy slipped from her short fingers, and the impending doom because whoever had crashed that car was coming for _her_ next.

She flew upwards from her bed sheets, Steve's arm being forced away from her body as she released a screeching 'no!' Amelia didn't know what she was saying no about, the fact that she couldn't stop the crash, her parents dying, or because she hadn't been able to see _his_ face. Again.

Sobs followed her scream, her hands reaching in front of her, towards her mother who had moments ago been in front of her but all she grasped at was air. "Don't take her away!" She begged loudly, dropping her hands and bashing them against the sheets, as though that would do anything to stop the killer from taking her to Hydra.

"Amelia!" Steve's panicked voice broke through her own anxiety, his strong arms wrapping around her body which was being consumed by black flames, not scared that she'd hurt him with them. He hugged her as tightly as he could, ignoring the sweat that drenched her body, doing his best to remind her that she was in their bed.

It took her a second to realise she wasn't in the car, that it was just a nightmare, a memory.

"Don't let them take her away." The second time she said it her words were much softer, much more defeated. There was nothing to do to stop them from taking the child to Hydra, but it still hurt Amelia's heart because she had just been a kid. Just a _kid_. "Don't let them take me away."

"I won't let anyone take you away from me," he pushed her hair from her sweaty forehead and landed a small kiss atop her head, the lips burning her freezing cold flesh, "never."

Her hands fell onto his naked skin, stroking across his biceps that she grasped onto tightly. She was grasping onto much more than Steve in that moment. In her hands, there was Steve and safety and warmth and light, not the darkness that overrun her and had her heartbeat racing.

She tried to calm herself down, heavy inhales and exhales tumbling messily from her lips as she closed her eyes and replaced all those horrible images of that particular memory with pictures of Steve, his presence, his smile, his eyes, his _light_. She let it surround her like a veil, dancing with the unsettled darkness within, softly calming it the same way one would pet a sleeping puppy.

"It's okay," Steve reassured as she unraveled in his arms, Amelia far too tired to work on building any walls as the memories persisted despite her best efforts. It was like he understood what was happening with her then, like he could see the cracks on her skin. Perhaps that was what all her scars actually were, she mused, proof that she was crumbling apart. "It's okay," Steve said those words so many times, yet the solace she found in them never seemed to fade away or lose meaning. "No one's going to take you away."

Oh, but they already had. And for a moment that thought was the most burdening, the most heart-breaking. They'd _already gotten her_. They'd already kidnapped her, taken her to Hydra, and made her suffer _years_ of unimaginable torture. They'd already gotten her.

Amelia was just working on reminding herself that though they'd gotten her, she was safe again, safe with Steve.

Soon enough her crying had turned into small hiccups, the tears not able to dry on her face as Steve repeatedly wiped them away. He'd started rocking her like a child, she wasn't sure when, but she didn't hate it either.

"Was it the same nightmare?" Steve eventually asked, breaking the calm silence that had formed once her sobbing had stopped.

She nodded her head that was pressed against Steve's shoulder, her legs wrapped up in Steve's as that's the way she had been before waking up. "Yeah." Her throat was hoarse, an entire desert in her throat, she could feel the heat of it on her skin that was covered in sweat, yet she was freezing cold. Amelia cleared her throat, "it stopped after the car crash again though, I never saw who was on the motorbike."

For the brunette, that was always the absolute worst part about her nightmares. Every single time she had them, she'd try to see the face of whoever it was that had killed her parents and kidnapped her, but she never got to. She never got to see past that car crash. Which meant the nightmares were for nothing, all that suffering, for _nothing_.

Steve remained silent for a moment, simply brushing his fingers through her air, something he knew she found comforting. She thought that the conversation had finished, until the soldier broke their silence once again, with words she definitely hadn't been expecting. "Maybe that's a good thing," he spoke slowly, unsurely.

"What?" Immediately Amelia pulled her head away from his shoulder, shuffling slightly so that she could look into his eyes and let him see her clear confusion and the little bit of offense she'd taken from his words. "Whoever caused that crash, whoever _killed_ my parents, is the same person who gave me to Hydra. I need to know who it is, Steve."

"Why?"

Why was he so against it? That's what Amelia really wanted to know.

"So I can…"

"-Kill him?" Steve finished and Amelia remained silent after he'd finished because that was exactly what she'd been thinking.

She sighed, shoulders deflating as she fell back into Steve's arms, her hands reaching out for his so she could play with his fingers, "I just want to know why. I want to know why they decided _I_ deserved a fate worse than death. Through all my files, there's nothing about how I ended up with Hydra. It wasn't something pre-planned, so I want to know what drove them to give me to Hydra, to all their tortures and experiments, to Pierce."

The soldier tightened his jaw as an all too familiar guilt sparked under his rib cage, reminding him of what he'd done. The reason why there was nothing in Amelia's folder about how she ended up in Hydra was because he'd found them first and destroyed all the evidence that linked Bucky to her arrival at the dastardly organization.

"What if it's not something you want to hear?" He pressed, not expecting Amelia to have an immediate answer, but he didn't know how many times she'd thought over the moment when she'd finally learned the truth of her real origins.

"It doesn't matter," that's the conclusion she always ended up coming to, even if the reason was something as simple as her being unlucky, _anything_ was better than the absence of knowledge that burdened her dreams and woke her up in cold sweats. "I need to know."

"But you've already made so much progress, you're done with Hydra, done with your past. Why do you need to know this?"

Because she was sick of her nights being filled with visions of her mother and father dying. Because she was sick of being scared of the unknown. Because she was sick of waking up in cold sweats. Because she was sick of being a burden to Steve. Because though she was done with AS09, Amelia was still being tortured by that one blurry memory. Because it was the reason her and Tony didn't have a strong sibling relationship. Because it was why she wasn't a normal human being. Because it was why she had such a bloodlust. Because she was a monster, and a weapon, and that was someone's fault.

Because after Ultron, and Rebecca, and Aaron, she wanted to be able to fix at least one thing in her life.

Because ever since Rebecca and Aaron, Amelia had been struggling _so much_ , so much that she couldn't even tell Steve about it despite their promise to never keep secrets from each other. Because it wasn't just the dream that was causing darkness to erupt inside her like a volcano. Because she wanted to find some way to rid herself of that darkness, even though it was becoming more and more a part of her.

Because she needed to know.

There were too many 'because's and she couldn't tell Steve any of them.

That's how she'd been dealing with all her issues lately, hoping that if she just pretended to be fine then maybe all of that darkness would just disappear and allow her light to spread its wings. She had no idea that it was old habits bubbling to the surface again, Amelia simply refused to acknowledge any of it.

So instead of replying to Steve's question, she stroked her hands across his skin, down from his hand, up to his bicep, and she hugged it like it was the best pillow in creation.

What Amelia didn't know, was that Steve _knew_ she was avoiding the topic of her feelings, the same way she'd avoided the topic of her past all those years ago. And he would have pushed her then, forced her to not fall back into that old, irritating, habit. But he was going against their promise as well by keeping from her the truth he knew of that day. So he allowed her to fall into that old habit, silently giving her permission to _lie_ to him as he kept his mouth closed and hugged her tightly.

They both hated themselves that night, but they loved each other immensely. They hoped the love they felt would be enough to replace all that hatred, enough to fill in the fractures that were forming in their once oh-so-indestructible relationship. They hoped.

* * *

 **A/N: What up! Who's ready for an angst filled part for? Y'all ain't at all prepared for what I got in store, I'm so excited and also scared. It's a bit of a meh start in my opinion (you guys might enjoy it, you always surprise me by liking chapters I felt weren't all that great) but that ending gonna have some jaw's dropping. Thank you for being patient through the week hiatus, it was good to have time to plan and improve, hopefully it was worth it. I missed you guys though, it felt weird not waking up and immediately going to read your comments lol**

 **To kuppcake, I'm sorry! I hope you managed to read through and enjoy though**

 **To Sam0728, me too! I hope you like it!**

 **To .2018, same**

 **To CrispyCoconut, lol you really think I'm that nice? Or maybe I am, I ain't telling you anything, no spoilers from me. Also, for your comment to the last chapter I posted, him holding that engagement ring was a little bit of a homage to that line and sort of shows the effect Amelia has had on him**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, honestly you should be, I'm really pushing that 'angst' button with this part.**

 **To BrittStar1199, I can't tell you anything, I've sworn myself to secrecy with this part, I just hope you enjoy reading it and don't hate me. And I had Cell Block Tango finally out of my head until I read through your comment again, why is it so catchy?! Also 'yeah I fuck with Cell Block Tango' was so funny to me.**

 **To Assbitch67, this reaction had me actually cackling I didn't realise how evil I was until I read this comment. I'm so sorry.**

 **To SecretWyvern, it's a pleasure to have you here! I'm so sorry I ended your reading experience with that, I'll hopefully make things up with the wild ride that is Civil War.**

 **To Pitspee, I haven't heard it be called a flying donut before lol that's funny, I don't know if I'm going to have Amelia go up in space just cause I want her to be with Steve but I don't know, we'll see where planning takes me because I thought I was going to do Civil War a certain way but now I've completely diverted from that.**

 **To Hellawoez, all these crying emoji's I don't know what to do with them, and yes, people are totally gonna do her dirty.**

 **And a big thank you to everyone that read the chapter. Buckle up kids, part four is gonna be one hell of a wild ride!**


	72. Chapter Sixty-Eight

**CHAPTER SIXTY-EIGHT**

* * *

" _Killing is not so easy as the innocent believe."_

― _**J.K. Rowling**_

* * *

Lagos was a busy city, bustling with hundreds of people that shoved together and got in the way of cars, making them honk loudly into the already noise filled space. It was so full of people, so full, that no one was aware of the two agents hidden amongst an outdoor cafe, or the empty apartment that housed two others.

"I don't get why I couldn't go to the cafe," Amelia sighed into the comms, the brunette perched at a window that she stared out of through a split in a grey curtain, the kind of grey that could have once possibly been a pure white.

She didn't have much of a view, across from her was a rooftop that four birds were hanging out on top of, and to the side of that, she had a view of a crowded street.

From the other side of the room, Steve was looking out of another window, gaze hard as he analyzed every face, looking for one in particular. The same face that was printed on the five newspapers placed on top of a lone table in their room. "Because you would have got distracted by food," he replied, a boyish smile flirting on his lips as the soldier looked over to his girl and happily accepted the glare she sent his way.

Unable to stop the girlish flutters that appeared whenever she saw him smirk in such a way, her expression melted back into a smile which she tried to hide by turning back to her window. "All right Wanda," she called, "tell me what you see."

It was the newest recruits first ever mission, Amelia had plenty of faith in her to prove herself but she knew there were other people on the team that were still unsure, considering Wanda _chose_ when to enter field missions, rather than being chosen like the rest of them. She'd done plenty of training, most of the sessions with Amelia, so Amelia was more confident in the Maximoff's skills and capabilities than the rest. Steve trusted her, and he also owed Wanda for saving them after Aaron's little surprise at the party all those weeks ago.

"Standard beat cops. Small station. Quiet street. It's a good target." Wanda reported. Keeping her voice quiet and masking her mouth with her cup of coffee so that no one would notice she was talking to herself.

"There's an ATM in the south corner, which means…"

"Cameras," the psychic finished confidently.

"Both cross streets are one way."

"So, compromised escape routes," Wanda knew all the tricks by heart, having them drilled into her by the lessons they'd given her, but Amelia still felt like a proud mother as she heard her child recollect everything perfectly.

"Rumlow doesn't care about being seen," Amelia chimed in, "isn't afraid to make a mess on his way out."

Brock Rumlow was their target for that particular mission, a SHIELD agent turned Hydra agent turned terrorist. There were plenty of news stories about him and all the crimes he'd been doing, too many, it was almost like he was calling them to come and get him. Both Steve and Amelia didn't really mind taking Rumlow up on that offer though, Steve had some unfinished business with him, and Amelia just wanted to make sure that every single Hydra agent got their comeuppance. The brunette had no issue being the sword that brought on a swift and inescapable punishment.

"You see that range rover halfway up the block?" Steve asked Wanda, Amelia turning around in her own seat to try and see what car he'd spotted.

"Yeah, the red one? It's cute."

"It's also bulletproof," Natasha chimed in, seated a table away from Wanda, "which means private security, which means more guns, which means more headaches for somebody. Probably us."

Amelia turned back around to face her window, a garbage truck having appeared in her view that was pushing it's way down a busy street, earning some yells by passersby's. Her eyes turned to slits as she analyzed it more, not trusting the vehicle.

"You guys know I can move things with my mind, right?" Wanda retorted cockily, her cattish remarks a trait she'd unknowingly gotten from spending far too much time with her fellow psychic.

Amelia stood up from her stool, opening the curtains wider to get a better look at the garbage truck. "So can I, so I can tell you from personal experience that _we're_ going to be the ones with the headaches."

"Looking over your shoulder needs to become second nature," was Natasha's only reply.

"Steve," Amelia called, waving the soldier over to get another opinion on whether the full garbage truck that was suspiciously making its way towards the Institute for Infectious Diseases was actually suspicious or not. It wasn't aiming towards the police station which they had reason to believe was going to be Rumlow's next target, but there was still something odd about its appearance.

"Anybody ever tell you you're a little paranoid?" Sam mused from his own perch on top of the apartment complex that Steve and Amelia were hidden inside.

"Not to my face. Why? Did you hear something?" Natasha retorted jokingly, her words much more friendly towards the pilot than they had been to the new agent.

Wanda was irked slightly at that, but she chose not to comment on it as off the field the two were actually pretty good friends, Amelia had already had a conversation with her about how Nat could be when on a mission, and how Nat had been the exact same way with her when she first joined. The redhead was simply testing her, making sure that she could deal with stressful situations whilst also remaining capable on the field.

"Eyes on targets, folks," their leader ordered as he joined Amelia's side, doing his job and making sure that everyone stayed focused on their mission at hand, "this is the best lead we've had on Rumlow in six months. I don't want to lose him."

"If he sees us coming that won't be a problem. He kind of hates us." Sam knew that better than most, having had to fight the wanted terrorist before a building was dropped on them. That building was probably the reason Rumlow hated them most.

Amelia silently pointed towards the garbage truck, the soldier narrowing his eyes onto it as the vehicle continued to push its way through traffic, scraping against other vehicles uncaringly. The lovers shared a knowing look, Steve nodding towards her as to confirm that he found it very suspicious as well. "Sam, see that garbage truck? Tag it."

They waited patiently in silence as Sam sent out a drone to scan the garbage truck. "That truck's loaded for max weight. And the driver's armed," he reported.

"It's a battering ram," Natasha concluded.

Amelia and Steve were already standing up and getting their things, Amelia retrieving her leather jacket as Steve grabbed his shield and helmet, "go now," the soldier ordered, making all the other agents in the field jump into action.

"What?" Wanda responded, unsure as to why everyone was so suddenly panicked about a garbage truck that wasn't even near Rumlow's target.

"He's not aiming for the police," Amelia explained, their sources had all led them to believe that Rumlow was simply going after the police station, trying to cause some havoc and tyranny that would get people panicked, but they'd had their suspicions when they found out that the police station was quite close to the Institute for Infectious Diseases. They'd actually hoped that he would just go after the police station.

The brunette proceeded to turn to face Steve as she opened her window wide, "fancy a race, honey?"

A wide smile filled Steve's face despite how serious the situation they were in was, "sure, I hear friendly competition is good in relationships."

"Cool," she jumped up onto the window as white began to envelop her body and then she floated upwards, beginning to fly over towards the Institute whilst Steve ran to the bottom of the building, exiting it and using his super soldier speed to run through the streets. Sam met him halfway, lifting him up and carrying him the rest of the way.

Sam had proven time and time again that he was a faster flyer than Amelia, his jetpack giving him much more of a boost that lasted longer, Amelia only capable of doing short boosts that - in order to not tire herself out - she'd have to do in five minute intervals. It used to take her ten minutes before she was able to boost herself again, but after training so hard she'd managed to cut that time down in half, something she was very proud of, and something she was hoping to utilize that day as she raced ahead of Sam.

Every time the pilot was about to catch up with her she'd boost herself, opening up her palms and raising them behind her, releasing a boom of energy that pushed her body further in front.

They weren't given all that much time to enjoy their little competition though as they watched the garbage truck charge into the gates of the Institute, flipping itself over and destroying most of the defenses which allowed two other trucks that had been waiting on standby to drive through and enter the outside zone of the institute. The backdoors opened, agents dressed in black with gas masks on their face leaking out from the back of the two trucks. Three soldiers with different guns to the rest lined up in front of the Institute and shot out canisters of gas that broke through the windows and started releasing a toxic fog into the building. Some agents started making their way inside whilst others remained on guard outside.

The brunette was going to make them regret choosing to stay outside.

Amelia landed first, celebrating her win by kicking down an agent as she landed. He tried to raise his gun up towards her, but she grabbed the side of it and twisted it harshly, bending his arms in an uncomfortable way. She used the gun as her ram then, bashing it against the man's face, breaking the glass of his mask and knocking him unconscious.

Steve joined her then, Sam dropping him down to the ground. He placed his shield in front of his body, acting as a cannonball as he landed beside an agent that was instantly pushed harshly against a truck, knocked unconscious immediately. Another agent tried to run towards him but Steve simply knocked him away by kicking at the truck he'd previously hurled an agent at, the truck that time catapulting the agent towards Amelia who caught him, grabbed his shoulders, and raised her knee brutishly into his groin. The agent collapsed then, sputtering and wheezing, pained on the ground, not daring to move another inch.

Meanwhile, the soldier was defending himself from another upcoming agent, throwing out his shield to knock out one agent. Amelia commandeered the shield then, spinning her body and the shield following the direction her arms were facing, eventually being thrown aggressively at the chest of another agent, the man being thrown back far, only stopping when his back came into contact with the rough stone of the building.

She calmed her movements, the shield coming to a slow halt and flying gracefully into her hands. Amelia handed it over to Steve as he began to relay information on the agents to the rest of the team. "Body armor, AR15s. I make seven hostiles."

As Steve looked around to analyze their surroundings she made her way back over to the agent that she'd kicked in the groin, finding him trying to reach towards a gun. She stepped on his outreached hand, earning a few expletives from the agonized agent. The brunette ignored him, grabbing the gun and bashing it against his head to knock him unconscious before putting the strap for the gun around her shoulder. She'd only brought knives, and whilst she was more than capable of winning against them all with just her knives alone, she was sure she'd be able to find some fun uses with the impressive gun they'd brought.

"I make five," Sam responded, having taken care of two agents on the rooftop.

Wanda joined in, flying over the building and landing close to Steve and Amelia. An agent tried to shoot at her but she easily created a barrier, sending out her red energy to wrap around the agent so he would stop shooting at her. "Sam!" She called out, lifting the agent upward as Sam glided off the rooftop, catching the soldier on one of his wings.

"Four," he continued.

From above Sam's drone, Red Wing, scanned the building, "Rumlow's on the third floor," Sam relayed.

Steve nodded his head, beginning to walk over towards the building, "Amelia," he signaled towards the window, telling her that he needed her to give him a lift up. She nodded her head and allowed white to vibrate around her fingers, eventually surrounding Steve.

"What about the gas?" Wanda asked, concerned for the soldier as it was clearly poisonous.

"Get it out." He ordered simply as he began to fly upwards, crashing through one of the windows and disappearing into the fog.

"It's okay," Amelia soothed the fellow psychic, the only one to realize that Wanda was concerned for the soldier as she still didn't fully understand what capabilities Steve was given from the serum, "he's got super soldier lungs."

The two brunette's stood side by side, beginning to weave their magic from their fingertips, enveloping the gas and bringing it outside of the building, red and white weaving around one another.

"You know, it's annoying how you keep putting us on the cleanup crew," Amelia chimed into the comms, both Wanda and Amelia struggling to keep the ferocious gas contained long enough for them to drag it up into the sky where it wouldn't hurt anyone else. It was a skill neither of them had really practiced much as the Avengers didn't want to set off bombs or gases just for the sake of seeing if either of them could contain it.

Through the comms, Amelia was able to hear the sound of gunshots and some struggling. "You're welcome to come in here and get shot at," Steve sassed.

Amelia smirked, "baby, they wouldn't even get the chance."

From behind her, Sam took care of some loose agents that were trying to shoot at Amelia and Wanda, his wings acting as a shield for the both of them. He sent out two rockets, a small explosion erupting as they hit the ground close to the agents, knocking them all off of their feet. Wanda and Amelia finished their job, the gas finally high enough in the air for them to drop down their barriers together. It continued to float upward, far away from any humans, though Amelia did wonder momentarily what that gas would do to the ozone layer. Maybe nothing, it wasn't all that much.

Once she was done with getting the gas out she dropped down to her feet and placed her palm against the ground, white energy falling from her fingertips like smoke as she closed her eyes and tried to analyze the space around them. She knew that Redwing wouldn't be able to get as much of an analysis as she could with her powers.

The building was pretty much empty except for a few bodies, Steve the only one wandering the halls. It took her another few seconds before she finally found Rumlow who was lowering himself onto the ground behind the building to get to a vehicle.

"Rumlow has a biological weapon," Steve revealed.

Immediately Amelia opened her eyes and pressed her hand against the comm, "Nat, get behind the building. Rumlow is there as well as a few other soldiers."

"I'm on it," she chimed, the sound of a motorbike heard in the background.

"We need to go as well," Amelia ordered to the two other Avengers, beginning to walk backward whilst facing the emptied building, "I think I'll take a shortcut."

One more step backward, and then she began to run forwards, jumping once she was halfway there and propelling herself forwards. She walked on air as she moved through the building, using the gun she'd retrieved to break the glass on the other side so that she didn't end up getting any chunks of glass cutting into her body. Her suit was starting to get old, scars from old missions discoloring the navy on her bulletproof suit, revealing the real black color of the fabric.

As she was passing through the building she noticed Rumlow inside a truck shooting some sort of rocket towards Steve, it passed her just as she exited through the destroyed window. In order to save him, the brunette lifted the powers off of herself momentarily so that she could take control of the rocket and throw it upwards with her powers, managing to catch herself right before she landed harshly on the cement ground.

Stopping momentarily she analyzed the space around her. There were signs of Nat, her motorbike, a few agents unconscious on the floor, but for some reason she couldn't actually spot the redhead. Not until an explosion erupted inside one of the armored vehicles, Natasha thrown out along with a body she'd used as a shield from the explosion. Panic erupted inside of her and she began to run over to the agent who remained unmoving for only a second before coughing and turning herself around.

Knowing that Natasha was okay, Amelia changed the direction she was running at, creating steps for herself to jump up onto as she tackled Rumlow who was still trying to aim a rocket at Cap. She punched at his head, the helmet protecting him and only causing her more pain. He tried to push her away but she spun herself away from his hand, taking the gun off of her shoulder and wrapping it around his neck as she jumped off the roof of the vehicle and balanced herself against the side of it, using Rumlow as a weight. She thought she was strangling him but he turned around with ease, revealing that his armor had also been protecting his neck.

Her eyes widened involuntarily as he grabbed her shoulders and pulled her towards him as he pushed his head forward, headbutting her and disorienting her enough that she let go of the gun and fell to the floor.

There was that headache Nat had been talking about earlier.

She tried to recover quickly but the pain blistering her head made her collapse to the ground when she tried to stand back up. Amelia heard the rev of Rumlow's vehicle and felt the wind as he began to pass her by, clearly thinking she was done. And for a few seconds, she was, one hand was pressed against her head whilst another tightened into a fist, she closed her eyes tightly, and pushed every bit of energy she had into healing that one spot until the dizziness and the pain went away.

Amelia opened her eyes just in time to see Rumlow shoot another rocket at her boyfriend, causing him to fly out of the building, about to crash-land onto the ground but Amelia caught him mere moments before he did. Rumlow was making his escape, but Amelia didn't care about that, she rushed over to Steve, lowering his body onto the ground.

"Sam, he's in an AFV heading north," Amelia told the pilot, hoping he could keep a track on him as she took care of Steve.

The brunette moved her hand over his bleeding lip, beginning to heal him but he slapped her hands away and worked on getting back to his feet. "Go after Rumlow," he ordered, rolling over onto his stomach so he could stand up easier, his body aching after the rocket had hit him. Steve realized Amelia hadn't even attempted to move away and was just looking at him with concern, so he rolled his eyes at her behavior and put on his best 'I'm fine' smile, "you can kiss my wounds better later." At that, Amelia couldn't help but grin widely because it was definitely something she was going to do later, and more.

"Just make sure you do it in private next time," Natasha chippered, appearing beside the pair on her motorbike once again, looking over to Amelia she nodded towards the back of her bike, "get on."

Amelia nodded in understanding, but turned back for a second to press a quick peck against Steve's lips. If she had it her way, she'd always be kissing Steve, but sadly there were people like Brock Rumlow getting in the way of her doing that. The brunette joined Nat on the motorbike, Steve beginning to sprint, able to match the speed of the motorbike quite easily.

"I got four, they're splitting up," Sam noted just as Amelia and Natasha caught up to Rumlow's truck, noticing the two agents that began to run through a market.

"We've got the two on the left," Nat explained, slowing the motorbike down as they ended up trapped in a crowd of cars, the two agents easily standing up on the motorbike and stepping onto the roofs of surrounding cars to go down a shortcut that allowed them to get closer to the two escaping soldiers.

Their path was tight, filled with people that had previously been bustling the marketplace quite serenely before the Avengers arrived, both Nat and Amelia tried their best to dodge any civilians whilst the escaping soldiers simply pushed anyone and everyone out of their way.

"They ditched their gear, it's a shell game now. One of them has the payload," Steve explained into the comms, the sound of an explosion suddenly following which had Amelia freezing.

"Steve?" There came no reply.

Every single fiber in her body was screaming for her to turn back and return to Steve, to make sure he was okay, and if he wasn't, to _make_ him okay. But all her training had taught her that she was supposed to concentrate solely on her mission at hand. Two sides were at war within her and she didn't know which to choose, she just stood there in the market street, frozen in place.

"Go!" Natasha called out, a few steps ahead of her, thankfully the comms allowed Amelia to hear her words loud and clear though, "I've got them, you go save your man."

"Thank you," Amelia rushed out the words sincerely and breathlessly as she began to run in the opposite direction.

Amelia had definitely heard the explosion, but it was a challenge for her to actually find it's location, everywhere she looked the streets were filled with so many people and all the stands created a maze.

So many people, so many of them screaming. And in her ear all she could hear was the sound of Rumlow punching her man. She needed to find him. She needed to find him. _She needed to find him_.

The brunette was seriously about to use her powers to create her own path when she felt a hand grab hers, "Mia, this way!"

Wanda Maximoff. Her saving grace.

The fellow psychic guided her through the streets and they eventually came to an opening. It felt like Amelia was finally breathing again as she saw Steve standing over a defeated Rumlow, he was safe. He was safe, she reassured herself repeatedly, tightening her hands and closing her eyes as she repeated deep breaths to calm her frantic heart.

Steve hadn't been the only one Amelia was worried about. If anything had actually happened to him, if he was seriously hurt, then she wasn't sure if she'd be able to control the darkness inside of herself. But he was okay.

And then Amelia heard screaming and fire, immediately flashes of Aaron crossed her mind, forcing her to open her eyes again because those images were simply too much for her.

The reality before her eyelids wasn't any better.

Steve had moved away from Rumlow who was struggling on the ground screaming in agony, a ball of fire surrounding his body that was being kept steady by Wanda. But she didn't know how long exactly Wanda would be able to keep that hold on him, such a large explosion took more power than either one of them were capable of creating considering they had barely trained themselves to contain such things.

Looking around, they were surrounded by skyscrapers. Even if Wanda threw him up - which it looked like she was about to as she lifted her hand that was coated in red energy - then she wouldn't be able to get him high enough in time for the explosion to not hurt anyone. There was no way Wanda could keep him on the ground though, that would kill more people, including Steve.

Wanda was going to end up killing someone, and Amelia just couldn't let that happen.

Thinking quickly, not actually putting any thought into her actions, she wrapped Rumlow up in her own energy, feeling the strain on her powers despite Wanda also assisting. And then she threw her body against the other psychics, knocking Wanda down and stopping her from using her powers.

She could practically feel the burn of the explosion against her skin as she threw Rumlow up high, doing her best to keep the explosion contained as she raised him higher and higher and higher.

But just as she'd expected, it wasn't enough, she wasn't strong enough.

From beside her Wanda was screaming, furious that Amelia had disrupted her, but all her words were silenced as the explosion broke through Amelia's barrier and destroyed a part of a building. Wanda's mouth fell open and she fell to her knees, watching flames consume the building in front of them. People were screaming and running way.

Amelia watched in silence, keeping her face expressionless, incapable of looking away at the ruin she'd caused. Again. She didn't allow herself to turn away, that was her own punishment, she needed to be able to remember what devastation she'd caused. But she had to do it, or else Wanda would have had that blood on her own hands, and Amelia was sick of watching kids get covered in red, just like her.

Steve looked at her, just as lost as Wanda as to why she'd done that. His lover couldn't even meet his eyes in that moment.

All she did was cover her hands, able to feel the black flames that were burning against her skin, and stare at her destruction.

* * *

 **A/N: Yep, we're jumping straight into the Civil War plot because I know how much you guys have been looking forward to this part. I was a bit iffy about having Amelia take over that explosion but I figured why have an OC if she's not going to do anything? I don't at all mean to take away from Wanda's character, she's one of my favourites, but Amelia is also a badass and she's hella protective. Let me know what you guys think!**

 **Also I'm going for a job interview tomorrow that I'm hella nervous for but pray that I get it cause yknow, ya girl needs a home and stuff rn.**

 **To Sam0728, there are a few chapters in between so you get to prepare yourself at least lol**

 **To Guest, legit**

 **To Pitspee, Mia's heart has already been broken by Rebecca and Aaron so at least you don't have to worry about that I guess?**

 **To BrittStar1199, let us all pray for Amelia Stark, god knows she needs it**

 **To Assbitch67, I'M SORRY PLEASE DON'T CRY!**

 **To Hellawoez, sameeeee**

 **And a big thank you to everyone that read the chapter!**


	73. Chapter Sixty-Nine

**CHAPTER SIXTY-NINE**

* * *

" _ **Oh, how she walks, draped in demons, dripping despair, she is the prettiest hell."**_

― _**Nicole Lyons**_

* * *

 _Two-year-old Amelia was sat at the piano with her mother, fingers bashing against the keys and rampant noise soon following. Beside her, Maria pressed the keys in a much more graceful way, and beneath the jutted noises coming from Amelia's playing there was a semblance of melody._

 _Her father entered through the doorway, eyes immediately falling over to the couch near the piano where Amelia's brother laid with his eyes closed, pretending to listen to her 'beautiful song'._

" _Wake up, dear, and say goodbye to your father," Maria spoke uncaringly, continuing to smile down at Amelia who giggled as she pressed one of the higher keys._

" _Who's the homeless person on the couch?" Howard asked jokingly as he finished buttoning up his jacket, Tony opening his eyes and beginning to stand up, a Santa Claus hat perched on his head which had brought Amelia great amusement when she first saw him in it._

" _This is why I love coming for Christmas… right before you leave town," he sassed, having only just learned the news from his mother. Right before his flight home he'd even rung his father, yet still Howard had neglected to tell him that they'd be going away and taking Tony's little sister with them. He wasn't very happy about it, but he didn't want to start shouting about it in front of his little sister, he wasn't like his father._

" _Be nice, dear, he's been studying abroad," Maria's tone remained unwavering, the woman far too used to trying to keep the peace between them._

 _Reaching out Howard pulled the hat from Tony's head, finding it silly, "really, which broad? What's her name?"_

" _Not in front of Amelia, Howard," a semblance of actual care could be found in Maria's voice as she hated it when Tony and Howard would say inappropriate things in front of Amelia. The mother was trying to keep her baby a baby for as long as she could, regretting not doing the same with Tony who had grown up too fast and only become more and more problematic._

 _Walking away from his father, Tony walked up behind Amelia and shook his hand through her hair, giggles erupting from her lips as she shook her head along with his movements. The smile that poised Tony's lips was natural and easy, the whole world seemingly lighting up whenever his baby sister would laugh, "she's right, this one's a right brainiac,"_

" _Well one of you had to be the smart one," Howard quipped, unamused by Tony's cattish ways._

" _Yeah," Tony agreed, watching as Amelia turned in her seat and raised up her arms for Tony. He followed her orders, lifting her up and throwing her in the air slightly, earning more sounds of delight from her, "I'm the good looking one,"_

 _Howard watched the interaction stoically, not seeing a brother and a sister bonding, but rather seeing Tony disrupting Amelia's piano lesson and teaching her to play instead of study. He put his hands in his pockets and stood rigidly. "Amelia, go grab your things," he commanded, earning an eye roll from Tony who had no choice but to put his sister down, she began to walk from the room, her chubby legs waddling._

" _Don't forget Woof!" Tony reminded, it had been his gift for her. He'd meant to give it to her on Christmas day but because Howard wanted to go to the Bahamas Tony had had no choice but to give it to her earlier._

" _We're trying to stop her from getting attached to that thing," Howard sighed, Amelia still able to hear his disapproving tone as she climbed up the stairs to reach her room which was filled with all sorts of toys. Or, they were toys to her, but to Howard and Maria, they were different devices to help speed up her cognitive abilities. Placed on her bed was Woof, named because all Amelia could say after receiving the toy was 'woof'. She grabbed it as well as the small backpack her maid had filled, she had a proper suitcase that was already in the back of the car, that backpack was only created to help her learn normalities. "_

 _I don't even know why you got her it," her father spat, looking down at the toy in Amelia's hand with hatred._

* * *

Amelia, grown-up Amelia that is, stirred awake with a horrible feeling in her stomach. She rushed to stand up, sleep still clouding her mind as she stumbled her way into the bathroom and began to throw up into the toilet. Steve wasn't with her because it was only midday so he was working in his office and she was glad he didn't see her like that. It wasn't the first time she'd woken up and thrown up.

She'd always worry that it was something serious, but then she'd feel fine moments later and not throw up again for a few days. It was weird, something she should probably go see the doctor about but she had a distaste towards doctors lately. She didn't feel like she could trust them with such important information because she didn't know them, their background, their motives. And even then, Amelia knew better than anyone that motives change.

Sighing she fell back against the cold tile floor and placed her hand on top of her firm belly, beginning to rub circles on the aching spot until the sick feeling melted away.

Once it was finally gone she got up off of the floor, brushed her teeth, drank some water, and just like that she managed to put it to the back of her mind. The same place everything she didn't want to tell Steve went.

Returning to the bedroom, she found that the TV was on, which meant she must have fallen asleep whilst it was on. It wasn't that much of a surprise, she'd been struggling to sleep even with Steve by her side, which was another thing that had her worried. It meant she was constantly having naps throughout the day, once whilst they were even on a mission.

"Eleven Wakandans were among those killed during a confrontation between the Avengers and a group of mercenaries in Lagos, Nigeria, last month, this is the second time we've seen Amelia Stark lose control of her powers and, you know, it's got me wondering if we're all in danger of this atom bomb-like-" Amelia didn't care about what the news reporter had to say, she'd already heard enough, both from herself and the rest of the Avengers. They'd all demanded answers on why she did what she did, and Amelia had done her best to defend herself but she could quite easily tell that they were all disappointed in her.

Steve tried to not act differently around her, but she could see it, whenever he thought she wasn't looking his face would always fall slightly, his eyebrows knitting together in concern.

Amelia threw the remote down onto the bed, placing her head in her hands and rubbing against her forehead.

She could feel that darkness again, like a herd of spiders crawling across her skin, veiling her body in black. It was back, she thought. Amelia hated using words like 'depression' for the horrible vortex she kept falling into, but there was no other word to describe it. There was something broken in her, something hopeless and something devastating. It felt like the cracks she'd always had from her time at Hydra had spread throughout her entire body after Rebecca and Aaron, and now there was nothing to hold her together anymore, she was cracked pieces of porcelain, a pile of splinters and razor edges, and the only one holding her up was Steve.

Sure, there were ways to fix it. She could go to a therapist again, talk out her problems, but Amelia couldn't help but believe that there was something about her that brought the worst out of people. She didn't want to do that to anyone else.

The Avengers were the only people she trusted anymore because she knew they wouldn't fall apart so easily, but even then, she'd stopped sharing with them the inner workings of her mind, believing that she was _saving_ them somehow by not explaining that she was destroying herself bit by bit.

It was so tempting for Amelia in that moment to just curl up in bed and never get out of it, but she'd been doing that for far too long anyway and if she did it any more than they'd realize that something really was wrong with her. Amelia was under the illusion that she'd been very convincing, that she'd managed to trick Steve and the rest of the Avengers into thinking that she'd recovered from what had happened with Rebecca and Aaron quite well, but she was wrong.

They all suspected something was up with her, the brunette was trying far too hard to convince everyone that she was okay that every happy action she did seemed so fake, every smile pained. But whenever someone would try and talk to her about it she'd shut them off, change the subject, walk away or lie. Anything but admit to them that some days she couldn't possibly imagine living another one.

In that moment Amelia decided to do the same thing she had done every other time thoughts like that arose, she went and found Steve.

He was inside his office watching the news just like she had been earlier, the King Of Wakanda now on the screen speaking. "Our people's blood is spilled on foreign soil, not only because of the actions of criminals, but by the indifference of those pledged to stop them. Victory at the expense of the innocent, is no victory at all."

Amelia leaned against the doorway of his office, attention placed solely on Steve who was staring at the screen with a hardened gaze, clearly affected by T'Chaka's words. The guilt might as well have been written across his forehead.

"It's my fault," Amelia tried to reassure, hating that Steve was feeling guilty over her own actions, especially because the very reason she'd taken over for Wanda was to avoid anyone else harboring the guilt of the dead. The second he realized that his lover was in the room, Steve grabbed the remote and shut off the news, turning to face Amelia with an expression on his face as though he'd been caught doing something terrible. She gave a short laugh, it wasn't often that she'd succeed at scaring the super soldier. She began to walk towards him, "I've already heard it all Steve, and it's okay, I know that it's my fault." She chose to make it her fault.

Steve shook his head as Amelia slipped onto his lap, throwing her legs across his and immediately falling against his chest. He was something solid for her to lean against. "That's not true."

Rolling her eyes she pulled up one of the hands that Steve had casually placed on top of her leg, beginning to play with his fingers, enjoying the way his large hands fit with her dainty ones. "Maybe you should turn that TV back on, I'm sure they'll be getting to the part where they talk about how much of a danger it is to have me on the team, how I should be locked up in a prison, experimented on. Oh man, Fox was especially nice, I love how they brought up my past affiliations, questioning which team I'm really playing for."

Steve's chest deflated as Amelia shuffled her head until it was comfortable on top of his peck, the soldier's other hand beginning to stroke through her hair as he stared off into the distance, thinking carefully on his next words, "I should've clocked that bomb vest long before Wanda and you had to deal with it," Looking down, almost ashamed, his blue eyes connected with Amelia's obsidian, "Rumlow said 'Bucky' and all of a sudden I was a sixteen-year-old kid again, in Brooklyn. And people died, it's on me."

Looking away from Steve, Amelia tried her best to sound uplifting and supportive, "we all could have done things differently, there's no way to get through situations like that without having any regrets. It's the same as with Aaron and Rebecca." It was hard for her to talk about them, every time she said their names flashes of knowing smiles and blood splattered walls would curse her brain and cause her to wince as an ache set a fire in her heart.

Pretend you're okay, she reminded herself.

"You're right," Steve agreed, giving a resolute nod, "we try to save as many people as we can but sometimes that doesn't mean everybody. But if we can't find a way to live with that, next time… maybe nobody gets saved."

"We'll get through this," she vowed, tightening their embracing hands. Her words were meant to sound confident, some part of her felt confident, the part of her that also pretended as though she wasn't falling apart probably. But the words came out rehearsed and exhausted.

Steve didn't reply because he shared that sentiment, they'd both been lying to each other and pretending they were okay, Steve trying to just be supportive, even if that meant ignoring the issues building between them. He continued to pull his fingers through her dark brown locks, the warmth of her presence in his lap making his heart tighten, reminding him that even with the cracks forming, their link was still there. Like a piece of red string, no matter how far apart they were, that string kept them together.

"How's Wanda?" The soldier asked.

Her lips fell into a straight line, "well, she's not mad at me anymore. It took her a bit but I think she finally sees why I did what I did. Neither of us would have been able to stop that bomb from going off, it was inevitable that someone died and I needed to be the one who did it. I'm the world's favorite villain, it makes sense for me to be the one to do it."

If Wanda had been the one to do it, then she would be the one the news talked about, the one millions of people blamed for something that had been out of her hands, the one who looked down at her own hands and only ever saw red. Amelia had already gone through all of that, and she knew that she could handle going through it again (she was never _not_ going through it). Steve had heard the explanation from her, he was with her when she first told Wanda, and when she had a particularly nasty phone call with her brother on the matter. And he'd said that he understood, he didn't like what had happened, but he understood why she'd chosen to do it. He was one of the few people that didn't actually blame her for anything and that was mostly down to him blaming himself.

Leaning down he pressed a soft kiss against her forehead, earning a kiss on his interlocked hands from her. "I wish the world could see you for who you really are."

His words made Amelia pause, unsure of what exactly Steve meant by that. Did he mean the fake that Steve interacted with, the one that lied about being fine whilst feeling like a burning house? Did he mean the little girl she was before that forsaken Hydra agent kidnapped her and began her journey of killing? Did he mean the girl she was at three in the morning, an empty bullet shell that wept without cause?

Sitting up, she forced Steve's hand to drop down. He raised his head up slightly so their eyes could stay connected, "who is that Steve?"

"You're Amelia Stark."

She thought she'd figured that out, who she was, after saying goodbye to AS09, but after everything that had happened with Rebecca and Aaron, she'd learned that she had no idea who Amelia Stark was. Amelia Stark wasn't a person yet, just an idea, someone for her to create. And that terrified her, because what if she ruined another life? What if she had already ruined another life?

"I know my name, but it's just…" The words became stuck in her throat, her bones turning rigid and her eyes burning as tears sizzled behind them. They were there, the words, the truth, the desperate plea for help. But she couldn't tell Steve any of that because it would make her a burden, more than she already was.

"Amelia," his hand tightened around her wrist and he shook her slightly, "please talk to me."

Her soldier could see where her headspace was, he could see how her eyes got slightly wetter and how her frown had deepened, and he could see the way she was stopping herself from telling him the truth. It was like grasping at snowflakes as he tried to get Amelia to tell him what was keeping her up at night and causing her to pull so far away from him.

"Come on, we promised no more secrets," he pushed, very much aware of his hypocrisy as he said those words.

That was it, the moment to tell him. Amelia's heart began to race in her chest as anxiety swirled inside her veins, overcoming her entire body. Why was she so scared? Why couldn't she find the right words to say? 'Hey, sometimes I wish I wasn't alive, not dead, but maybe just in a coma?' No, she couldn't say that. She couldn't make it a joke either, she had to be serious so that Steve would take her emotions seriously, she knew that. But she was scared of telling him about the way she'd been feeling.

She couldn't look him in the eye as she spoke, "is this all there is, to me, to everything? This… darkness?"

Finally, Steve had his proof that Amelia wasn't coping well, it was his opportunity to help her, _finally_. He opened his mouth, and Amelia had never been listening so hard, awaiting Steve to tell her that everything was going to be okay, awaiting Steve to make things okay.

But they were interrupted, and before their very eyes, they watched their one opportunity to try and talk about Amelia's demons slip between their fingers like paper forced away by a gust of wind.

Vision entered Steve's office, not by the door, but by the wall beside the door, making Amelia jump slightly, Steve managed to keep his composure at least. She pressed a hand against her heart, willing it to go back down to a normal heart rate, "Vis, I thought Wanda talked to you about this."

"Yes, but the door was open so…" he gestured towards the open doorway, but from the looks on both Amelia and Steve's face he guessed that he'd made a mistake. Clearing his throat, he dropped his hand and crossed the limbs in front of him, dressed in a dapper sweater that Wanda had picked out for him when they were choosing what clothes Vision should wear. "You both wanted to know when Mr. Stark was arriving."

"Ah," Amelia made a sound of acknowledgment as she slipped off of Steve's lap, "thanks Vis, we'll be right down." The brunette came to term with the fact that her conversation with Steve was over, that still she harbored all of her demons alone.

"He's also arrived with a guest," Vision informed them.

"Pepper?" Amelia sounded hopeful, her entire body seemed to rise slightly as she got giddy thinking that her favorite strawberry blonde had finally come to the Avengers facility. She rarely got to see Pepper anymore, the brunette thought it was because of work taking up all of her time, but it was actually because Pepper and Tony had been arguing more and more.

"No," the artificial intelligence answered, making Amelia's shoulders drop down. "It's the Secretary of State."

If Amelia's shoulders could have dropped any lower than they would have gone through the floor. Thaddeus Ross was the last person she wanted to see and she knew that nothing good was going to come from his visit. Looking behind her to Steve, he matched her distrustful expression. She released a groan, pushing her head back against Steve's chest and wishing she never had to leave that perfect little spot between Steve's arms and his warm body.

* * *

 **A/N: I'M SO SORRY FOR THE LACK OF UPDATES THE INTERNET WENT WHACK AT MY HOSTEL! I don't even know how I'm connected to the internet right now but I'm rushing this chapter out before I lose the connection again. I'm so sorry I'm trying my best to get uploads out but there's nowhere near me with free wifi.**

 **ALSO VERY IMPORTANT PLEASE READ: I have a job. Whoo, kind of. This means updates won't be everyday but twice every week. I'll have to try and write on my buses to and from work (it's a three-hour journey so I reckon I'll be able to get plenty done lol). I'm so sorry guys but I need this job, and I need to get out of this hostel as soon as possible. I'm about to be very busy but I promise you I won't be abandoning or forgetting about this story any time soon, I'm in love with what I have planned for part four, and I'm still excited to write part five. THANK YOU FOR BEING SO UNDERSTANDING AND I'M SO SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE!**

 **To Pitspee, I guess this update kind of answers your question, and Amelia won't get to talk to Charles mum sadly but she will definitely be thinking about both sides of the accords, one more than the other.**

 **To sophiewhettingsteel, thank you! You're the first person to ask about 09 and I would tell you but I'm still waiting for people to guess it first, that brings me more amusement lol. She was taken from Hydra when she was two just fyi :)**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, I did great at the interview so thank you! Now I just need to do great for the next two weeks and it'll become a permanent job ^^ I'm glad you're excited, in my opinion it's a bit of a slow start but I'm trying to follow the movie plot and set down some breadcrumbs, yknow? Anyway, I hope you enjoy them!**

 **To LoveFiction2018, thank you ^^**

 **To Assbitch67, I don't think I have any sad chapters on the way anytime soon, in fact some of the following chapters might have you all getting happy. It's near the end you should bring some tissues with you lol**

 **To BrittStar1199, god you don't need to remind me**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, thank you for the good luck you sent my way, I actually got the job! Kind of, I have a two week probation period but after that I should be good. I'm just sad that it's gonna take me away from this story, I'm also hella mad that on my last free week the internets been taking it away from me anyway.**

 **And a big thank you to everyone that read the chapter, hopefully I'll be updating again soon! AGAIN I'M SORRY!**


	74. Chapter Seventy

**CHAPTER SEVENTY**

* * *

" _Our destiny is not written for us, it's written by us."_

― _**Barack Obama**_

* * *

"Tony, hey," Amelia immediately ran over to her brother, hugging him in greeting. The billionaire reciprocated the hug, just as tight as she had, despite their last conversation on the phone being an argument. Her brother looked almost worn out with heavy bags under his eyes, yet still his eyes landed on her with a brotherly warmth that made her miss him even more.

It would have been a nice moment, had Thaddeus Ross not been stood at the other side of their meeting room, talking with some agents that had come to protect him. From her, she presumed. The brunette stared at him and immediately a frown pursed her lips. Turning back to her brother, she chose to ignore niceties with the Secretary, "what's going on, why is _he_ here?"

Thaddeus had heard her. As his conversation with one of the agents ended he turned to face the brunette fully with his body, smugness slipping onto his face like his favourite outfit. The rest of the Avengers slipped into the room, Vision, Wanda, Sam, Rhodey, Natasha, and Steve, they all filtered into the meeting room and they all eyed the general as he began to round the table and walk closer to Amelia, "Nice to see you too, Miss Stark."

Automatically Steve moved to stand beside Amelia, he didn't move her behind him as much as he wanted to, he knew she could definitely handle herself against someone like Ross and would take it as more of an insult if he tried to protect her then.

Amelia had been waiting to see the Secretary of State ever since her birthday, and she'd thought over what words she'd say to him, most of them very unfriendly. But after spending all that time thinking over how she'd respond to him, she'd figured out that aggression and spite were exactly what Ross would want from her. So instead of yelling at him, the brunette kept her demeanor, crossing her arms over her chest and lifting up her chin as she addressed him, "you'll forgive me if I'm not exactly pleased to see you after our last interaction."

The man had tried to take her to jail and acted as though she were a threat when all she was, was disoriented and numb. He'd treated her like an animal that needed to be put down, he didn't even think of what her pushing that nurse away meant, he just took it as 'hostile behaviour' and had ten guns aimed at her. Amelia didn't dare to think about where she could have ended up if Steve and her brother hadn't appeared to save the day.

He let out some air through his nose, a short laugh, the same kind of laugh Pierce used to do when he was sadistically amused, and then he began to wave his finger in her direction, "that's right, the last time we saw each other I warned you all about her," he dropped his finger down, Amelia following its movements with her eyes carefully, knowing enough about normal humans to know they can be unsuspecting with their attacks. He remained cocky, shrugging his shoulders as he smiled down at her as though she was some sort of trophy, and in a way to Ross she was, a trophy that proved he'd been _right_. "I hate to say I told you so, but-"

"Did you bring him here just to piss me off or…?" She was done listening to Thaddeus sure remarks, turning to her brother who on arrival had called a meeting with all the Avengers.

Tony had moved to sit in a corner of the room, leaning back in his seat awaiting whatever it was Thaddeus had to say. There was something wrong with him, Amelia realised, but she couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was that had put him in such a state of duress. The first thing that came to mind was Pepper, but if it was the strawberry blonde than Tony wouldn't have turned quiet about it, if she'd done something to piss him off then the whole of the Avengers facility would be hearing about it. It was something else, something much darker. Amelia felt a twist in her gut as she wondered if it was _her_. That was the last thing they'd talked about, though it was more arguing than talking, they'd discussed her and what she'd done in Lagos.

"I am here, Miss Stark, for something very important," Ross turned around and moved to stand at the front of the room, in between two guards she suspected he brought especially for her and Steve who had been anything but cooperative so far for the Secretary of the State.

"You'll all want to hear this," Tony finally spoke, garnering attention from everyone. His serious demeanour had everyone sobering up, even Amelia. Normally, in a serious situation, Tony would be the last one to get sincere. The billionaire signaled to all the chairs, "just sit down and listen," everyone began to follow, everyone except Amelia who was more concerned than anything. When he noticed she was still acting resistantly, he locked her in such an earnest stare that a shiver went down her spine, "for me."

Something bad was about to happen, Amelia _knew_ it.

"Five years ago, I had a heart attack," Thaddeus started once all the Avengers were seated.

Under her breath Amelia began to mumble, "clearly it wasn't good enough." She immediately earned a look from Ross but he didn't digress from his point.

As Ross continued, Amelia turned her chair so she was facing the table rather than him, making sure that the ex-general knew she held no respect for him. Beside her Steve was seated with his chair facing towards her, he reached out with his hand on top of the table and encompassed hers. The soldier was still concerned about her, she could feel it like a blanket made of thorns being pulled over her, she didn't want the soldier to be worried about her. She should never have hinted that something was wrong.

Unlike Amelia's clear worries that misshaped her lips and etched wrinkles on her freckles forehead, no one could tell that Steve was concerned about something as his eyes were watching Ross carefully.

"I dropped right in the middle of my backswing," the ex-general continued, pretending to swing a golf club, "turned out it was the best round of my life, because after thirteen hours of surgery and a tribble bypass, I found something 40 years in the Army had never taught me."

"Karma?" Amelia interrupted again, unable to stop herself as the snide remarks popped into her brain and demanded immediate release.

"Perspective," Ross corrected, "the world owes the Avengers an unpayable debt. You have fought for us, protected us, risked your lives." Both Amelia and Steve had one eyebrow raised, confused by the words Ross said as they almost seemed like compliments. His words began to make a lot more sense as he followed up the statement with something much more 'him', something that revealed everything he said previously as just an attempt at easing them up what would become one of the worst roller coaster rides of their lives. "But while a great many people see you as heroes, there are some who would prefer the word 'vigilantes'."

"And what word would you use, Mr. Secretary?" Natasha asked, all charms and smiles as she kept her hatred boiling beneath her skin, a talent she was much better at utilising than Amelia.

"How about dangerous?" He responded, all jokes being pushed aside as Ross finally revealed his true self and Amelia couldn't help but scoff at that, hearing her, Ross took two steps closer towards her, beginning to challenge the brunette. "What would you call a group of US-based, enhanced, individuals who routinely ignore sovereign borders and inflict their will wherever they choose and who, frankly, seem unconcerned about what they leave behind?"

Amelia would have been challenging him had she not been trying to read the expressions on everyone's faces around the room. Wanda's in particular. Ross was simply implementing everything she'd been trying to protect the fellow psychic from, a fear of herself and her powers. It made her hate Ross even more, something she thought was impossible, but oh god, was she proved wrong even more seconds later as Ross picked up a tablet and began to play videos on the screen behind him.

The screen showed a map first which then zoomed onto a location. "New York," he listed, stepping aside so that all the Avengers could see the five clips that played.

The first one a Chitauri leviathan, a creature Amelia still couldn't believe existed as she hadn't been there to witness it, or, she couldn't remember being there to witness it. The next clip was people running and screaming, dust falling from the sky as they rushed past collapsed buildings. A woman falls to the floor crying and a man tries to help her. Then it shows a soldier trying to shoot up at the sky towards a Chitauri, trying being the operative word as there was nothing they could do that day which would stop the devastation caused by the Chitauri. The last clip to play is that of the Hulk who was jumping through the city, smashing down Chitauri threats and destroying buildings as he did so. Whoever was holding the recording device in that clip ended up buried beneath rubble created by the Hulk's destruction.

Rhodey was the first one to look away, unable to handle the ruin captured in those clips. It was the one thing the Avengers never got to see in the middle of battle, they couldn't really ever stop to see it. But Amelia had, she'd seen things much worse than what those clips showed. She'd held Charlie as he died crushed beneath a bit of building that could have fallen off because of Ultron or the Avengers, and she'd faced his mourning mother after that.

She already knew about everything that she was seeing, and she knew that no one in that room deserved to be reminded of it. Her eyes remained fixed only on Ross, burning holes through his skin.

"Washington DC," he continued, clicking a button on the tablet and allowing footage of the three Insight helicarriers to begin to play. They were firing at each other, then there was a clip of the Triskelion, fire and black smoke rising up from the building. Then it showed a clip of one of the helicarriers crash landing into the Potomac, throwing up a massive wave that engulfed numerous citizens.

Sam was the second to look away, casting his eyes downward and away from the screen.

"Sokovia," his tone had turned grave, he wasn't happy about the clips either. In some sick way, Ross really did think he was doing something good by putting a stop to the Avengers.

The clip that played next showed numerous citizens trying to run for their lives, their screams echoing in the room as the clip changed to show the entire city rising up into the sky, a building falling off the edge.

Wanda did not look away, she watched her entire city get destroyed, knowing somewhere in that wreckage her brother would soon have his life taken. The memory was burnt into her mind, like a scar.

Ross pressed another button, "A few months ago, New York again."

Amelia knew that it had been coming, she knew that it would probably be Ross' favourite part, and she knew that if she looked all she would feel was pain. Yet she couldn't help herself, much like how Wanda had been incapable of staring away from the worst moment of her life, neither could Amelia as she watched a phone recording of herself.

She was kneeling on the ground, screaming, black wings stretching out from her back and consuming everything like fire, turning it to dust, into nothing. It showed a woman running away from the black fog and tumbling, and for a moment Amelia became concerned that she was about to see another person become one of her victims but thankfully a stranger ran over and pulled the woman away. Just because she didn't see anyone die in that clip though did not mean anyone in that room was unaware of the horrifying power that the young Stark possessed.

They all knew deep down that what had happened that night was merely a small insight into what kind of ruination Amelia could cause to the world.

Amelia was the most aware. It was her turn to look away, unable to watch herself scream in such agony and cause such torment any longer. Steve noticed and he immediately tightened his hand around hers, squeezing her fingers, trying to remind her that he was there for her.

"Okay, that's enough," the soldier commanded, eyes flying up to Ross and glaring at the ex-general who had his eyes fixed on the screen still.

"And then Lagos," Ross continued, ignoring the Captain's orders and playing more clips. The first video was of the burning building, then of paramedics dragging out multiple victims from the destroyed building, and then a dead girl lying cold on the ground, covered in dust.

Amelia wanted to walk out of that room then and there, feeling more disgusted with herself than anyone else. It was all well and good that she could proclaim that she'd done the right thing by taking on the burden so Wanda didn't have to, but she'd allowed that to cloud the fact that she'd _killed_ people. Again.

Killing seemed to be something she just couldn't escape from, whether she believed she was a weapon or not, death followed her everywhere she went.

It was times like that when Amelia couldn't help but think that she, herself, should not be permitted to live either.

"I said that's enough," Cap repeated, voice louder and stronger as he watched a single tear fall from Amelia's eye, landing on the table below. She never cried in front of other people, and she'd definitely never cry in front of Ross if she had the option not to, so the fact that she couldn't stop herself from releasing a tear that made Steve more concerned for her than he'd ever been.

All the soldier wanted was to see in her head with the ease of someone reading a book, maybe then he could begin to fix all the cracks that were forming inside of her, and between them.

Ross actually followed then, done with showing the videos and knowing that he'd made a big enough impact on everyone. He turned the screen off and strutted back to the middle of the table where everyone could see him.

"For the past four years, you've operated with unlimited power and no supervision. That's an arrangement the governments of the world can no longer tolerate," from beside Ross, one of his guards handed him a thick white book, "but I think we have a solution."

"The Sokovia Accords," he dropped it in front of Wanda, who handed it to Rhodey, the book making its way around the table so everyone could get a good look at it, everyone but Tony who clearly already knew about the accords. "Approved by 117 countries, it states that the Avengers shall no longer be a private organisation. Instead, they'll operate under the supervision of a United Nations panel, only when and if that panel deems it necessary."

Ross rounded the table, eventually reaching Steve's side, the soldier immediately looking up at him, "the Avengers were formed to make the world a safer place, I feel like we've done that."

Amelia had the accords in front of her but she didn't bother to look inside of it, "do you realise what state the world would be in if the Avengers weren't there to save the day? If Ultron got his way?" It seemed so basic to her, and it was so easy for her to blame Ross for everything rather than her own actions, something Tony was beginning to ponder on from his corner of the room. She looked over to him, easily guessing that he was playing a part in it and easily guessing that he was all for the accords, why else would he have insisted on them all meeting then and there to discuss it? She made sure he looking into her eyes as she said her next words, "let the people hate, those smart enough know the good we're doing."

"They don't hate you, they _fear_ you," Ross continued, hitting a nerve inside of Amelia. "Tell me, do any of you know where Thor and Banner are right now?" He moved to stand back at the front of the room "If I misplaced a couple of 30 megaton nukes, you can bet there'd be consequences. Compromise, reassurance, that's how the world works. Believe me, this is the middle ground."

"So, there are contingencies," Rhodey gestured towards the accords.

"Three days from now, the UN meets in Vienna to ratify the Accords," Ross explained for the soldier. He looked around, silently asking anyone if they had any other questions, when he was met with silence he nodded over towards his guards and they began to leave the room. "Talk it over," he offered, though Amelia had a feeling that there was really only one decision that could be made.

Following the same train of thought, Natasha spoke up again, asking: "and if we come to a decision you don't like?"

Ross stopped halfway to the door, turning to face the redhead, "then you retire."

It wasn't an actual option, or some sort of joke, Ross was sending them a threat and Amelia was struggling a lot to keep her anger at bay. She immediately rose from her seat, one hand still locked in Steve's as she pointed another over to Ross, "fuck you,"

"Amelia," Steve called her name, not immediately ordering her to back down as he understood why she was so upset. It was more people trying to control her, more people trying to take over powers, more people that could do her wrong. But he also knew that if she did end up hurting Ross than that would just give people more cause to put her away, something he knew was at the forefront of everyone's mind when they first heard about the accords.

She was the world's biggest threat in the Avenger's, so it made sense for them to want to eliminate her first, and they'd be able to do that if they all signed their lives away to the accords. First Amelia, and then he suspected Wanda, because her powers were far too similar to the brunette's for the government to feel comfortable with her.

"Careful Miss Stark, we don't want you losing control again," his eyes closed slightly as a toothy smile filled his face, he was finding her attitude very amusing, or perhaps it was the fact that she was behaving exactly how he expected.

Tony stood up from his seat and moved to grab the wrist of Amelia's other arm, wary after seeing the videos of all the devastation she'd done previously, scared to see history repeat itself. "Amelia, calm down," he phrased it like a request, but Amelia knew if she defied him anymore that it would turn into a demand.

"Tony, tell me you don't agree with him," she looked at him desperately, willing him to say that her preconceptions were all wrong. When he didn't say anything she pushed again, "Tony," but he just looked away from her.

Ross stared at their interaction and decided it was the appropriate time to go, he'd made his mark. "I'll leave you to come to a decision."

* * *

 **A/N: Welp, hello again! I'm still struggling to get internet so I can't give you a proper update date until I find something more permanent. I'm also looking to try and move out of the hostel I'm living in now that I have a job, so yeah, I'm very very busy. But like I said, I love this story and I've missed you guys dearly, this is a part of my top priorities and will remain that way until completed ^^**

 **To Guest, I'm sorry to hear you think so, I am trying to build up Wanda's character in a world that includes my OC so obviously things will be different. Someone like Amelia doesn't wander into people's lives and not have an effect. The Observer 2.O was pretty brilliant with pointing out why Amelia did what she did, she managed to catch onto my wording, Amelia didn't think about what she was doing, she just thought 'I should be the one to do it' and then she pushed Wanda away, she selfishly didn't even think about lending a hand to Wanda. I try my best to make sure that everything makes sense plotwise, and if there are any plotholes then I encourage my readers to tell me so that I can make amendments. But thank you for your review, hopefully this one plot point doesn't discourage you from reading the rest.**

 **To The Observer 2.O, as per usual, you are extremely observant and I absolutely love it. There's so much here to reply to though so I'm going to start from the first review you did. It was lovely to see someone look so deeply into Rebecca's character and you hit the nail on the head with everything I was trying to display. And I agree with you on Ross' character, he is a grey area, I'm just bitter and partly blame him for Civil War, and he did imprison a lot of the Avengers. And tbh I rarely think about the Incredible Hulk film myself, sometimes I completely forget its apart of the MCU lol, either way, I'm glad that you think my portrayal of the character is well done. Hopefully I'm keeping that up with this chapter? And with the 'making out as soon as they saw each other' scene, they were both incredibly emotional and confused and they both needed confirmation, Steve needed confirmation that she was still Amelia, and Amelia needed confirmation that Steve didn't hate the very ground she walked on. The kiss was that, and it ended up evolving into more. I've never personally seen Third Rock from the Sun but your comment has made me want to start watching it. I was hoping that scene would come off anti-climactic so glad to hear it gave that impression. I'm one of those people who has quite the distaste towards DC so I have no idea who Cadmus is, I'm sorry. Also glad to hear that I'm getting known for my plot twists, I like to keep my readers on their toes! And you're right, Wanda should have been able to stop that bomb, if only some idiot didn't decide to take it on herself when she's barely learned the depths of her own powers. Do you think Steve is acting as an alpha male? How so? AND YES I'M SO GLAD YOU GOT THAT WITH THE BOMB! I'm trying to show Amelia's imperfections in this part, and you're so right in calling her selfish, because that's exactly what she is. She's trying so hard to be like Steve but she's doing it all in the wrong way, she's trying to save everyone from burdens and pushing them onto herself and actually making situations harder for everyone else. In the chapter before this one I think I stated about how Amelia was trying to not be a burden to Steve, but really she's just creating fractures between them. She doesn't even have full control of her goddamn powers yet she thought she could do a better job of taking on that explosion. I admit that the skyscrapers part was my own folly though, I thought they were but I clearly hadn't been looking at the background enough, I got too distracted by Steve's eyes probably.**

 **To Krayzee Aussie, hello! I absolutely love your reviews, I'm glad you've been enjoying the story so much!**

 **.2018, thank you ^^**

 **To Pitspee, I'm going to have Amelia observing the helicopter scene (it would be a crime against my OC if I didn't let her get to see the magnificence that is Steve motherfucking Rogers stopping a helicopter)? That's all I can give away though. And it's cool, I think I rewatched that scene one or two times whilst I was planning. That scene, and the scene when Bucky gets on the motorbike cause goddamn it is beautiful. In fact, whilst watching Civil War I was reminded of just how much I adore Bucky, I felt like I was cheating on Steve.**

 **To rosequartz121, thank you so much! I love you too! A hella amount!**

 **To Hellawoez, yes thank you, it's going alright so far :) I can't wait for Amelia to rise from the ashes too, but has she completely fallen into the ashes yet? There's so much for her to go through still.**

 **To Juliette World, that's okay you're English is great! And honestly, the first time I read this review I cried a little because of _this_ , this is exactly how I want people to see Amelia. Flawed, and in some ways not a good person, but ultimately someone that endures and survives. Strength doesn't have to be someone who can smile at a fight and be victorious, sometimes strength is just the ability to get through another day. So yeah, thank you so much for leaving this review, it reminded me why I love Amelia so much.**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, thank you! The commute isn't all bad, it'll be a lot nicer in autumn and winter because right now it's three hours of a hot and stuffed bus (aka my hell). Thank you as well for being so understanding about the story as well. And, hey now, it could be a baby Amelia on the way, or just a bug?**

 **To BrittStar1199, I mean she could just be sick, maybe I want to write a nice little scene where Steve takes care of her? Ever think about that? Not everything I write has to be some big plot twist. After the whole Aaron thing I'll be surprised if anyone trusts me right now lol.**

 **To Sam0728, what? Pregnant? I DON'T KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD! And yus, Bucky's time is soon, I'm so excited to see what you guys think of their interactions!**

 **To Assbitch67, I'm hurt that you don't trust me like wow when have I ever betrayed your trust? AND WHAT? NO WAY. I can't confirm or deny anything though lol.**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, I found out it's because they've moved it in the hostel I'm living in, I'm literally the only one incapable of connecting too it. I'd sit outside my room and upload a chapter but there are a lot of shady characters living in this hostel and I don't really want everyone to know I have a laptop. And interesting viewpoint, has that changed since reading this chapter, I'm just curious?**

 **And a big thank you to everyone that read the chapter!**


	75. Chapter Seventy-One

**CHAPTER SEVENTY-ONE**

* * *

" _It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped."_

― _**Tony Robbins**_

* * *

"Secretary Ross has a congressional medal of honor, which is one more than you have," James argued to Sam, the two soldiers stood behind Steve who had in his hands the accords. Amelia was poised on the arm of the chair, leaning over him and reading through the book with him, neither looking very amused with its contents.

Her eyes kept moving over to her brother, trying to read through his thoughts. He wasn't arguing against it as passionately as Rhodey, but he wasn't arguing against it either, and from his earlier behavior the brunette was able to deduce that the reason he wasn't arguing was because he truly believed that the accords were necessary and were going to happen. The debate they were having was meaningless, at least to him.

It did have her wondering though, like a sword piercing through her armour, whether her jumping straight to being against the accords was actually the wrong decision. All she'd seen at first was that Ross was getting in the way and trying to make her into a weapon again, but there was so much more to the accords. Like SHIELD, it was being implemented to protect those that might accidentally get caught in the crossfire, in fact, the accords were there to make sure that there was no crossfire for anyone to get caught up in.

But Amelia still had her reservations, and with every paragraph she read in the thick book Ross had given them, she was only able to create more positive and negatives. Never having more of either one.

There was something else making the decision a little bit more tricky for her, the fact that Tony and Steve had slipped into opposite sides. She wouldn't be able to pick a side without hurting the other and that was the last thing she wanted. Amelia Stark was truly at a loss.

"So let's say we agree to this thing. How long is it gonna be before they LoJack us like a bunch of common criminals?" Sam rebutted, opening his arms and awaiting James' reply, revealing one of the points that had been playing heavily on her mind.

"117 countries want to sign this. 117, Sam, and you're just like 'no, that's cool, we got it.'" Rhodes was shaking his head at the fellow soldier, clearly already decided and not actually listening to what Sam had to say. Sam was exactly the same though, his mind settled on which side of the line he'd be standing on.

Amelia was getting fed up with their arguing, knowing that the only way they'd ever be able to come to a unanimous decision was through talking, not yelling at each other.

Sam and Rhodey arguing had done nothing to help her confusion. Whilst the brunette was done having people tell her what to do, especially because most of the time she felt like they'd make her do the _wrong_ thing, even if their intentions were pure hearted. But at the same time, she did want nothing more than to make amends of all the bad things she'd done, but Amelia doubted that opportunity would come to her if she was handed over to the government. In fact, the government would probably want to lock her up and keep her locked up where she couldn't do anything, bad or good. And that was even worse, because Amelia would have the capabilities of saving people, but the ones in control would choose to keep her on the sidelines.

Standing up, she was done reading through the accords, she'd read enough to know what her future would look like if they signed it. Turning to Rhodes she moved to stand in front of Sam. "That's not what he's doing Rhodes," the brunette spoke calmly, hoping maybe if she kept her cool that he'd listen to her more.

"How long are you going to play both sides?" Sam asked, pushing past Amelia to step closer to Rhodes, having other plans than Amelia as he struggled to understand how Rhodes could even be thinking about signing the accords, it felt like treason to the Avenger.

"I have an equation," Vision announced, sat comfortably next to Wanda. His words were enough to break up the small argument that had been happening, everyone intrigued to hear what the intelligent computer turned artificial intelligence had to say on the matter. Even Steve put down the accords, giving Vision his full attention.

"Go on," Amelia nodded encouragingly, not sure if she'd actually be able to understand an equation as maths had never been her strong suit (Sam mirroring this as he muttered under his breath 'oh, this will clear it up') but she was hoping for anything that would stop an argument from erupting. They needed to keep level-headed, that's what she had to remind herself as the hurt of those she considered friends revealing themselves for the accords was like two stones sparking rage in her belly.

"In the eight years since Mr. Stark announced himself as Iron Man, the number of known enhanced persons has grown exponentially," Amelia looked over to Tony who was simply laid down on the couch with his hand over his eyes, seemingly not taking it seriously which was slightly irritating. "And during the same period, the number of potentially world-ending events has risen at a commensurate rate."

"Are you saying it's our fault?" Steve asked, raising both his eyebrows.

"No," Amelia answered for Vision, stepping back over to Steve, "he's saying that people see us as some sort of challenge, kind of like how Rebecca wanted to use my powers, other people want to have our powers too, or prove that they're even stronger. Merely by existing, we're instigating." She looked down at the floor, suddenly feeling saddened by what Vision had proposed because if that were true, then it would never end. They'd always be fighting someone, and they'd always have to be the ones fighting because they were the only ones that could. She felt something much like grief strike her, the emotion clogging her throat, there was never going to be a happy ending, not for her and Steve, not some soft epilogue.

"And that challenge incites conflict," Vision continued, seeing the crestfallen expression on Amelia, "and conflict breeds catastrophe. Oversight… oversight is not an idea that can be dismissed out of hand."

"Boom!" Rhodes followed, turning back to Sam and sending him an 'I told you so' look.

Steve reached out and grabbed Amelia's hand, slipping his fingers between hers and reminding her that he was there for her. He'd noticed the way her face had fallen, and the soldier wanted to offer her words of comfort, but how could he when he didn't even really know what was wrong with her?

Seated on one of the couches, Natasha had mostly remained silent, listening to both sides of the argument. The redhead turned to face Tony, suspicious of his silence, "Tony," at the sound of his name the billionaire dropped his hand, "you are being uncharacteristically non-hyperverbal."

"It's because he's already made up his mind," Steve commented, dropping his hand from Amelia's as he looked over bitterly towards his friend. Amelia hated to see the two conflicting, they were her favourite guys, her brother and her lover. But she also knew that Steve was right, he'd openly invited Ross into their home to show them the accords and not made a single argument against him. He wanted to sign the accords.

"Boy, you know me so well," Tony replied in a deadpan voice, finally standing up from his seat and moving over to the kitchen area, grabbing himself a mug. "Actually, I'm nursing an electromagnetic headache. That's what's going on, Cap. It's just pain. It's discomfort- who's putting coffee grounds in the disposal? Am I running a bed and breakfast for a biker gang?" Nonchalantly, amongst all of his whining, he pulled out his phone and pressed a button on it to reveal a holographic image of a very familiar boy for Amelia.

She fell backward immediately, slumping back down onto the arm of Steve's chair, her mouth dropping open slightly as she looked at the image of Charles Spencer. He looked different. Alive. There was less blood and dust covering his face, but she could recognise the smile on his face easily, it was the same grin he'd had on his face when he spoke about his mother. "That's-"

"Charles Spencer, you met him right?" Tony's tone was aggrieved, pinpricks against Amelia's skin as his hardened gaze turned to her. He looked almost like their father then, disapproving and slightly hostile.

"Yeah, I was there when he…" It had been so long since she met Charles, yet she still struggled to talk about it, it had taken her months to even start to bring it up in therapy. Looking down, she felt Steve's hand comfortably press against her back, sliding it across her, the chaste touch immediately spreading a warmth up her spine that melted the frost that had appeared when she saw the picture of Charles. "How do you know about him?"

"I met his mum," Tony revealed, pouring himself a coffee, "as did you apparently, thank you for sharing that tidbit of information with me by the way."

Amelia hadn't even realised she'd done something wrong by not telling Tony about the meeting, it had simply been a her thing and she'd never expected the mother to meet Tony. The last time she spoke to Charles' mother, she'd screamed about how it was 'her fault' Charles was dead, and proclaimed through sobs that she wanted nothing to do with Amelia or the Avengers. Clearly, the woman had changed her mind, but she couldn't understand why that would make Tony mad at her, as she'd stated when Ross was there, people could hate all they want but that shouldn't take away from the fact that the Avengers saved lives.

But Amelia hadn't been there when Charles' mother spoke to Tony, revealed the truth to him, made him see that the Avengers were killing people too. Even one person's blood was far too much for the billionaire to handle because he'd changed his entire life around so he could make up for the blood he'd already had on his hand's thanks to the weapons he'd created being used by the wrong people. Tony wasn't like Amelia, he wasn't built to kill, he wasn't so used to the colour red that it was as dull as brown, and in that moment he actually resented Amelia a little bit for being that way.

"What did she say to you?" Amelia asked, reaching behind herself to take a hold of Steve's hand that he'd been rubbing across her back. It was nice to know that no matter how many cracks formed in their relationship, Steve's very presence still had a pacifying effect on all of her nerves.

"Oh, the usual," Tony took a sip from his coffee, "how we're to blame for her son's _death_."

It was funny, because, from the way Tony was looking pointedly at her, Amelia felt like he was accusing her of being the one who killed him. It made her angry that he'd throw out such an accusation when he had no idea what happened, he wasn't there to rescue Charles from beneath that building, he wasn't there when Charles died. No one was, just her.

"You know that's not true though," Steve argued, more so for Amelia who was sitting in silent rage. She'd told him about Charles Spencer the night they returned home from Sokovia, and told him that she wanted to find his mum so that she could pass on the message she'd promised she would. He knew that she wasn't Charles killer, but his guardian angel who had been with him till the very end.

"Isn't it, Cap?" He put down his mug, the porcelain scraping against the marble harshly, "this kid was brilliant. He had a computer engineering degree, a 3.6 GPA. He had a floor level gig at Intel planned for fall."

He had a life, that's what Tony was telling them, but Amelia already knew that, she'd watched that life drain from his body and it had been one of the hardest things she'd ever had to witness, and it was also what helped shape Amelia Stark into the _human_ that she was then.

"But first, he wanted to put a few miles on his soul, before he parked it behind a desk. See the world. Maybe be of service. Charles didn't want to go to Vegas or Fort Lauderdale, which is what I would do. He didn't go to Paris or Amsterdam, which sounds fun. He decided to spend his summer building sustainable housing for the poor. Guess where, Sokovia." He snapped open a bottle of paracetamol as he revealed the location to everyone, finally making the rest of the Avengers realise who exactly they were discussing, a victim. Just a kid, in the wrong place, at the wrong time. They all looked affected by it, but not Amelia, she was _glaring_ at her brother, meeting the heated stare he sent her way because he was just as mad as she was.

"That kid was going to make a _difference_ , but he can't now, why?" Tony ingested a pill with his coffee, snapping the bottle shut and putting the mug down, looking back over to his sister. He gestured to everyone sat in the room, "why don't you go ahead and tell everyone, Mia."

Her hands tightened to fists, "because a building collapsed on top of him."

"No," he held up his finger, correcting her, "because _we_ dropped a building on him while we were kicking ass."

The brunette was ready to snap at him, was ready to punch her brother right in the nose and mix some blood in with his mustache, all thoughts of keeping the peace gone because she was _furious_ that her brother was using the lost life of Charles Spencer to push his agenda on to them. It wasn't right. What happened to Charles was tragic, and she hated that his life had to end so soon, but whilst they lost Charles, they managed to save countless other lives that day. That's what the Avengers do, they save people, no if's, no buts. That's the only kind of Avengers Amelia would ever work for, if they were anything else then she would never have joined. If they became anything else, then she would leave.

Tony waited for Amelia to speak again but she kept her lips tightly shut, eyes slits that stared pointed daggers towards him. "There's no decision-making process here," he eventually continued, "we need to be put in check. Whatever form that takes, I'm game. If we can't accept limitations, if we're boundaryless, we're no better than the bad guys."

"'No better than the bad guys'?" Amelia spat, "Tony, are you serious right now? The only people that seek absolute control are the bad guys, Hydra, Rebecca, they got power in their hands and they used it for themselves. We become their puppets, _Ross'_ puppets, who knows what they'll make us do."

"We need the accords so situations like that don't happen anymore," Tony argued, completely missing Amelia's point that by signing the accords they'd be jumping into that position themselves.

She was losing her grip on the rage burning inside of her, the small flame turning into a wildfire, Tony's words like gasoline to the flames. Steve squeezed her hand, sensing her loss of control and attempting to reign her back in. "Tony," the soldier began to speak, stepping in for Amelia so she didn't get the chance to say something she'd regret, "someone dies on your watch, you don't give up."

"Who said we're giving up?" He easily responded.

"We are if we're not taking responsibility for our actions, this document just shifts the blame," his words were sincere and well thought over, the calming blue in his eyes showing clearly in his personality then.

"I'm sorry, Steve, that- that is dangerously arrogant," Rhodey intervened, "this is the United Nations we're talking about. It's not the World Security Council, it's not SHIELD, it's not Hydra."

"No, but it's run by people with agendas, and agendas change," Steve replied, echoing Amelia's earlier thoughts only putting them in a much more serene tone that she hoped they'd listen to.

The brunette had told herself not to get angry but it was proving to be a difficult challenge as Tony seemed to poke every open nerve that he could in her, bringing up Charles, and disregarding every point she'd had because he refused to see anything other than his own perspective on the matter, not even taking a second to ponder on the fact that for most of Amelia's life she'd lived under the same kind of rulings the accords would create, and that it had _ruined_ her.

"That's _good_ ," her brother gestured towards himself, "that's why I'm here. When I realised what my weapons were capable of in the wrong hands, I shut it down and stopped manufacturing."

"Yeah but you chose to do that," Amelia responded, Steve once again squeezing her hand and trying to calm her down as her tone of voice had been loud and domineering.

Once Amelia had squeezed his hand back to let him know that she understood his message and would try her best, he turned back to Tony, "if we sign this, we surrender our right to choose. What if this panel sends us somewhere we don't think we should go? What if there is somewhere we need to go, and they don't let us? We may not be perfect, but the safest hands are still our own."

"And what about me?" Amelia asked, voice much softer than before, face twice as resolute.

"What?" Tony asked, baffled, wondering how she could possibly turn the situation around so it was all about her. Maybe they were more similar than he first thought.

"What about me?" She repeated, standing up from the arm of Steve's chair so she could look at everyone, trying to gouge their reactions as she did so, "we all know I'm the biggest threat here, the biggest _bomb_. You sign those accords away, you sign me away." Amelia was pleading to her _brother_ then, not Tony Stark, but her big brother, who'd said he'd protect her.

Her words seemed to get through to some part of him as his chest deflated slightly and he looked at her with a softer gaze, "that's another reason why we need to sign these accords. If we don't do this now, it's gonna be done to us later. That's the fact. That won't be pretty."

"You're saying they'll come for us. For Amelia," Wanda managed to voice the exact thoughts that went through Amelia's head, "then me, our powers are so similar, and Lagos could have easily been me." As she admitted the truth she looked away from Amelia, her anger towards the fellow psychic bubbling to the surface as she was furious at Amelia for what she'd done. Amelia was like an older sister to her so she was working on forgiving her. It was just proving difficult because every time she felt that rage, rage over Amelia's mistrust towards both her and her abilities.

"We would protect you," Vision immediately moved to comfort Wanda, but he couldn't say the same for Amelia, and for her that spoke volumes as to just how right she'd been. She was glad that Steve hadn't tried to do the same, because she would have known that it was a lie, that there was no protection from powerful people filled with fear. Amelia could tell from the sullen expression on Wanda's face that the fellow psychic knew that too.

From the couch opposite Wanda and Vision came an unexpected voice with unexpected words. "Maybe Tony's right," Natasha offered her opinion and was immediately met with wide-eyed stares, everyone surprised, even Tony, at the stance she'd taken.

"Nat, no," Amelia shook her head, aghast by her best friends words, unable to believe that she'd so easily choose to be controlled.

"If we have one hand on the wheel, we can still steer. If we take it off-"

Her explanation was cut short by Sam. The pilot stepped closer, moving beside Amelia and staring down at Nat with a displeased expression etched onto his face, his arms crossed tightly against his chest, "aren't you the same woman who told the government to kiss her ass a few years ago?"

Nat knew who she'd hurt most, her eyes switching between Steve's and Amelia's, "I'm just… I'm reading the terrain. We have made some very public mistakes. We need to win their trust back."

Slowly, Amelia began to nod her head, able to understand Natasha's point of view a little better. Her friend wasn't for the accords, not entirely, but she wanted to make sure that they all stayed together. That was a little bit easier for Amelia to understand, rather than her brother's stance which continued to baffle her.

"Focus up," Tony called to Nat, "I'm sorry, did I just mishear you or did you agree with me?"

"Oh, I want to take it back now," Natasha cringed.

Whilst everyone continued to speak, Steve's phone dinged in his pocket, grasping both his and Amelia's focus momentarily as he pulled out the communication device.

Amelia couldn't see the text he'd gotten, but she could see his face, and she watched as he turned even more serious, his eyes turning cold and his straight line lips melting into a frown. "I have to go," he said urgently, voice still quiet. The soldier immediately stood up and left, Amelia following him with her eyes. Something bad had happened, she could tell immediately. It was something horrible, and something he needed her there with him for.

Standing up, she went to go after him but her brother stopped her, grabbing onto her arm. "We're not done talking," he adjured, looking at her pleadingly because he wanted to sort things out with her.

But Steve needed her, so she picked him.

The brunette pulled her arm free of Tony's grasp and left him there. The billionaire looked down at the floor, only Natasha really seeing the way he became saddened as his sister left their important conversation for the soldier. He felt like she'd picked Steve over him. It shouldn't have hurt him so much, Tony had always known that in most situations she'd always pick the soldier over the billionaire.

Amelia found her lover by the staircase a floor down, his back pressed against the rail and his eyes staring at the wall as though it didn't make sense to him anymore. She walked down to him slowly, not saying anything but telling him with her eyes that she was there if he needed to talk. Once she was close enough, they immediately embraced each other, Steve pressing his head in the nape of her neck as he let tears reveal themselves freely. He could only ever do that in front of her.

"She's passed away," he revealed, weeping.

Amelia instantly understood his words, Peggy Carter had passed away. She didn't even know if words existed to explain the horrible grief she felt in that moment, so the brunette didn't even bother with words, she simply held Steve as tightly as she could and allowed him to find the purest form of solace in her arms, the only place the world made sense anymore.

* * *

 **A/N: So, the job didn't take me on to the second week, it was like a training period thing so I'm jobless again and life is still pain. No matter, I've got to keep my head up and just keep trekking on, it's the only way I'll get anywhere.**

 **Chapters from here are a little slow as I've said before, but they're also very interesting so I hope you enjoy them. I'll try to update everyday but with internet being so hard to come by I don't know if I'll actually manage to :/**

 **To LoveFiction2018, thank you ^^**

 **To Sam0728, feel like you're missing a word there somewhere but I'm excited too! I'm on that particular chapter atm, the chapter I'm really looking forward to writing with regards to Bucky and Amelia is chapter 82 (unless of course my plan changes at some point, but yeah)**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, thank you! I'm glad you feel that way cause really that's all I'm aiming for, for Amelia to feel like an actual part of the MCU. And agreed, I think after I write this I should just write one long fluff piece with no angst whatsoever.**

 **To Pitspee, how do you feel about the argument then? And yas, honestly those two scenes are why Civil War is such a success, nothing to do with the characters or any of that, just those two scenes ;)**

 **To The Observer 2.O, once again your viewpoint is interesting and for the most part I agree with it, just a few little things here and there, like I think the sole cause of Lagos was Rumlow. I loved the cartoons too, I used to watch Justice League and Teen Titans as a kid, bloody loved Teen Titans (Especially Raven who is my queen) but with Justice League I just had this one VCR tape that I'd watch like a million times and it was three episodes which I'm pretty sure I know of by heart by now. And also I find this so interesting, Steve being an alpha male was completely accidental, I always try and write him respectful whilst also protective. He's protective because of course at first Amelia was so new to the world like a child.**

 **To JohnnyStormsGirl, I don't know really, depends on how I end Civil War, I have two endings in mind. Just let you guys mull that over lol.**

 **To Juliette World, sorry that I missed your question! And tbh, I don't know, there's no one that really fits the image I have of Amelia in my head, I'd say a sort of mix between Emma Watson and Gal Gadot, if that makes sense.**

 **To BrittStar1199, I'm confirming nothing!**

 **To Assbitch67, I'm sorry, the angst just sort of happens, chapter 75 is a nice one at least?**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, I watched Homecoming last night and I'm starting to like him more and more, but there won't be much of him in this except for the airport scene, I'm sorry.**

 **And a big thank you to everyone that read the chap!**


	76. Chapter Seventy-Two

**CHAPTER SEVENTY-TWO**

* * *

" _The whole world can become the enemy when you lose what you love."_

― _**Kristina McMorris**_

* * *

"I'm sorry," Amelia whispered, turned in her seat on the airplane so that she could look at Steve. He hadn't even noticed her staring, too busy staring off into the memories of his past with Peggy, his last link to his old life.

He turned at the sound of her voice, eyes knitting together as he slowly managed to process her words through the fog in his mind, "why?"

Their hands had been interlocked, and had stayed that way throughout much of the day, even when they were packing, booking the flights, even through the night. Steve liked that though, he liked how thorough she was being in making sure that he knew she was _always_ there for him. He needed that. He needed Amelia to be his anchor, to let him know that he wasn't lost in some dark blue ocean now that Peggy had gone because she was there. Sometimes he felt like a whale that sang at a different frequency, most of the time he knew that Amelia could hear, that was all he needed.

"For not being able to stop this," it was another death on Amelia's hands, but it shouldn't be.

Steve immediately shook his head, thoughts clear all of a sudden, "you gave me the best gift I could possibly have, you gave me time. You healed Peggy's disease, and I have so many great memories because of that." He stressed each word he said to her, feeling as though he could never thank her enough for that gift but she just shrugged it off, proving to Steve once again that she was completely blinded to the halo that shined above her head.

Silence returned once again, a familiar friend as words never really seemed befitting enough after Peggy's passing. Amelia was looking out of the window at the clouds, night cradled them and though the moon was nowhere to be seen there were plenty of stars decorating their path, twinkling friendly back at Amelia.

"I don't think Peggy's really gone, you know," Amelia mumbled, eyes still staring out the window as Steve looked over to her inquisitively, "I know that scientists say that stars are lights from millions of light years away, but I prefer the idea that they're souls." She turned to face Steve then, and he saw thousands of stars twinkling inside her eyes, but she pointed to the window, "I bet that big one there is Peggy."

He smiled, and it ached slightly, for it was the first time he'd smiled in days. "I quite like that idea too," he responded, voice just as quiet as Amelia's had been. She was glad he didn't push her thoughts aside or call her stupid. Leaning forward, she pressed her upper body against his shoulder, hating the annoying arm of their chair for getting in between them because all she wanted to do was hug him and keep him in his arms where she could keep him safe from every bad thing and every horror the world had to offer.

They both started to fall asleep, his head falling against hers as he slipped into a dreaming state first. Before Amelia followed him, a thought occurred in her head, that if Steve was to ever pass, he'd become a sun.

* * *

They slept through the rest of the plane ride, then they got settled in their hotel room, Sam accompanying them and going to his own hotel room as he'd met Peggy a few times as well and wanted to say his goodbyes. They had another nap at the hotel, both of them already beginning to suffer from jetlag. And then it was time for the funeral.

Amelia Stark had never been to a funeral. She'd been to graveyards, and she'd been there to kill people. She'd been there for both the before and after, but she'd never been to a funeral. On the plane to London for Peggy's funeral, Steve had explained to her what a funeral was, it was a celebration of life, kind of. When she asked him if she should be expecting cake and party hats, he'd kindly rejected that idea and told her that funerals were much more quiet affairs.

Funerals were a time for people to say goodbye, to celebrate that one person's life, and grieve the loss of it from their world. They would all dress in black (which didn't seem like that big of a deal to Amelia) and they would all collectively mourn over Peggy Carter's amazing and inspiring life.

At first, Amelia thought that funerals were rather depressing affairs, but when she entered the church in London with Sam - Steve would be carrying Peggy's casket inside with other people that were close to her - and she saw all the countless amounts of people there, all the people Peggy had affected, she decided that funerals weren't so bad. Funerals were not just the end of someone's life, they were the amalgamation of one's life put in one moment, that's what Amelia thought anyway. Everyone in that room knew of Peggy Carter and everyone in that room was there to celebrate the influential life of that stupendous woman.

Every day, even after death, Peggy somehow managed to inspire Amelia, because she decided then it that room that she wanted a funeral as full as Peggy's, full of those she loved and those she helped. Even though there were over a hundred people in the church Amelia was sure there were thousands out there that had in some way been saved by Peggy, and that's how she wanted to go out, being remembered as a hero.

For a moment she felt a pain in her heart as she was reminded that there was a chance she wouldn't get that because of the accords. For the past two days, it felt like the accords were all she'd been able to think about, whether to sign them or not. She knew what would happen if she refused to sign them, she knew it would lead to a fight that she didn't want, a fight against people she once considered friends. All Amelia wanted was peace, peace of mind, peace for the world. She didn't believe in the accords, she didn't think they were right, but perhaps that wasn't the point, maybe the point was to keep peace no matter what. Maybe she should sign for the accords.

She took her seat with Sam at the front of the hall, in front of them was a podium and a microphone, and beside that was a picture of the woman they were there to celebrate. Neither Sam nor Amelia said anything, they had no words to say. They looked respectfully as that picture of Peggy, and when the music began to play, the choir began to sing, they stood up and watched as Steve accompanied by five other people carried Peggy's coffin.

The soldier probably would have fallen apart like a ball of string then and there but Amelia's earlier words prevented him from doing so by repeating themselves over and over in his mind, telling him that Peggy hadn't left him, she'd just become another shining star in the sky. And just like she had always been when she was on Earth, she was one of the brightest stars out there.

Once the coffin was placed down, Steve joined Amelia's side, the brunette immediately grasping his hand with both of hers. He didn't both trying to muster a smile, didn't bother to try and make Amelia believe he was okay, he wasn't, not at all, and he needed Amelia to be there for him. And she was, in every possible way that she could be, Amelia was there for him.

The funeral began then, the priest sharing some words, Amelia wasn't really religious but she knew how Steve was and she guessed that Peggy must have been as well. Some people came up to the podium and shared their stories of Peggy, some they'd already heard from her during their visits to the hospital, others were new and exciting to hear.

"And now, I would like to invite Sharon Carter to come up and say a few words," the priest revealed, Amelia intrigued as she'd never met any other Carter's.

Her eyes strayed over to the podium and she watched as a blonde bombshell stepped up, her eyes immediately strayed over to Steve and then she looked down awkwardly, her eyes moving around the crowd and avoiding the soldier. Amelia found that even more curious and she looked over to Steve with knitted eyebrows, the soldier was looking down though, completely unaware of Sharon until Sam jutted his elbow into the soldier's side, which made Amelia _even more_ curious.

There was clearly more to Sharon Carter than her just being related to Peggy, because when Steve looked up and finally looked at Sharon his face seemed to drop in surprise. The two shared a look, Sharon supplying a short smile, but there were no words exchanged and Steve didn't immediately jump to explain whatever it was that must have happened between them. Amelia knew that they must have met before, they recognised each other, but it looked like they didn't expect to see each other than, or at least Steve didn't.

She wanted to know why. She didn't like that she had no idea who Sharon was whilst both Sam and Steve clearly did, she wanted to know what kind of interaction Steve must have had with her. Amelia had learned about Steve's connection with Peggy slowly but surely, and she'd come to appreciate Peggy and the things she helped Steve with whilst they were together, hell, she even ended up befriending Peggy. Peggy Carter wasn't someone she had to be jealous over, especially because Steve had shared with her all the details of their relationship, but Sharon Carter was a different case.

Amelia still didn't know about jealousy, what it meant, where it came from, but she felt a spark of something sickly waver in the pit of her stomach as she watched the way Steve looked at Sharon. There was an easy solution to it, all she really needed was for Steve to identify their relationship to her, but Amelia couldn't ask him to do that when they were at a funeral and she didn't want to push any more problems onto him when he was so fragile. So she sat quietly, turning away from Steve and hoping that the emotion would fade away as long as she didn't see that caring spark in his eye for the blonde. Her hand was still inside his, still holding on to him as tightly as she could, holding him together whilst he couldn't.

"Margaret Carter was known to most as a founder of SHIELD, but I just knew her as Aunt Peggy," Sharon revealed, looking to Steve as though she was telling him that, and the soldier seemed quite shocked as he took a surprised breath. "She had a photograph in her office, Aunt Peggy standing next to JFK. As a kid, that was pretty cool. But it was a lot to live up to, which is why I never told anyone we were related."

Amelia felt almost as though she was intruding on their private conversation as Sharon looked only to Steve when she gave her explanation, her soldier seemed to accept the information, giving a slight nod and looking back down. They'd clearly had some sort of important interaction, created some sort of relationship, Amelia hated that she had no idea what it was because she thought she'd known everything there was to know about Steve. Again, Amelia reminded herself that she couldn't do or say anything because it was Peggy's funeral and it could end up really being nothing, she wasn't there to get worried about Steve's past flings, she was there to celebrate Peggy's life, so she concentrated on Sharon's words rather than what her presence meant for the soldier sat next to her.

"I asked her once how she managed to master diplomacy and espionage in a time when no one wanted to see a woman succeed at either. And she said, compromise where you can, but where you can't, don't. Even if everyone is telling you that something wrong is something right. Even if the whole world is telling you to move. It's your duty to plant yourself like a tree, look them in the eye and say 'no, you move."

It was amazing, Amelia thought, just how much Peggy could inspire her and teach her a lesson, even beyond the grave. Though she'd spent the past two days undecided, the answer was very clear for Amelia then what she should do about the accords. There was no way for her to know which side was better, to sign and bow her head, or to fight so that she could keep her control.

But there was one thing she always believed in, one person who never led her astray. Steve. He was who she was meant to stand by, just like every other difficulty in their life.

Finally, she had her answer, and she had Peggy to thank for that. There were other things she had Peggy to thank for as well, like the perfect soldier sat next to her. She squeezed his hand and began to rub her thumb across the back of his hand, overwhelmed by the fact that she was lucky enough to have Steve in her life.

* * *

"When I came out of the ice, I thought everyone I had known was gone. Then I found out that she was alive, I was just lucky to have her," the funeral hall was empty excluding Steve, Amelia and one surprise guest, Natasha Romanoff. The redhead had appeared out of nowhere whilst the pair were silently paying their respects to Peggy in the empty church, she wasn't unwelcome though.

"She had you back too, don't forget that," Amelia reminded, rubbing her hand against the sleeve of his suit, pressing down wrinkles. Natasha nodded in agreement, standing opposite the couple with her back leaning against one of the pews.

Steve smiled gratefully at her response, and she was right, but every memory of Peggy was like an aching bone to Steve in that moment. So instead of talking about her and causing himself more pain, the soldier turned to Nat and moved onto a much more serious topic. "Who else signed?"

Amelia's expression immediately fell at the mention of the accords, wishing she could just make them disappear into dust.

"Tony, Rhodey, Vision," Natasha listed.

"I can't believe my brother actually thinks this is a good idea," Amelia responded, scoffing and shaking her head side to side. She was still struggling with how he'd brought up Charles.

Steve reached out for her hand, knowing it was all he could really do as there was no way for him to fix Tony, he just hoped that their sibling relationship wouldn't end up suffering because of the accords, it had taken them so long to come back together that it would be a shame for it to fall apart so easily.

"What about Clint?"

"Says he's retired," Natasha shrugged her shoulders apathetically.

"And Wanda? How's she holding up?" Amelia asked.

"Still TBD," the redhead revealed and Amelia nodded her head in understanding, she would have been surprised if Wanda did end up signing the accords after what she'd said during their discussion before Peggy's passing. "I'm off to Vienna for the signing of the accords right now, there's still plenty of room on the jet."

Despite Natasha's hopeful look spiking Amelia's ribcage, the brunette had to shake her head, hearing all those stories about Peggy that day had only made her more determined to fight for what she believed in. Still though, she hated to see herself fight with the rest of the Avengers, especially Nat, because even though Natasha might have not really believed in what the accords represented, she was still going to sign them. She hoped it would never come to a fight, and she believed that Steve wouldn't let it reach that point. She couldn't say the same for her brother. As just like her brother, Amelia couldn't back down easily, so, speaking for herself, she responded to Natasha with quiet words, almost ashamed that she had to disagree with her best friend, "I get what you're trying to do Nat, but I don't think you're right, I'm sorry,"

"Just because it's the path of least resistance doesn't mean it's the wrong path. Staying together is more important than how we stay together," the redhead urged, trying one last time, and Amelia really did hear her words, she really did understand where Natasha was coming from, but she couldn't sign those accords.

She'd thought over the positives of the accords plenty, how it would change public opinion on the Avengers, how there would be barriers placed so that bad things didn't happen anymore, like the bad thing that happened in Lagos. If she signed those accords then Amelia Stark would finally be able to start making up to the world all those years she'd done wrong. In theory. There was also the possibility that she would end up in some sort of prison, unable to help anyone.

Either way, she had to stand by her man, he'd always protected her and he was always right. The past had proved that. Amelia was positive he wouldn't lead her astray and that he wouldn't let the accords create something drastic between them and the rest of the Avengers. All they needed to do was see their point of view, the right point of view, and then everything would be okay.

"I disagree, we wouldn't really even be together anymore, there'd always be that fracture." They had to go through the arguments and the disagreements so that they could then move on to heal. Amelia knew far too well the strain fractures could put on relationships, knew far too well the destructive capabilities a tiny crack could have.

"She's right, we'd be giving up too much by signing the accords," Steve responded, supporting his girl as well as giving the redhead his own answer to her request, "I'm sorry, Nat, I can't sign it either."

"I know," Natasha easily relinquished, shrugging her shoulders once again, trying to not make them feel too guilty as she'd expected their decision, especially from Amelia who she'd known would immediately hiss at any sign of another person taking control of her.

"Then what are you doing here?" Steve asked, confused momentarily.

"I wanted to make sure that you're both okay," she revealed, and it shouldn't have come as that much of a surprise that their _friend_ wanted to be there for them, but clearly the accords had already started shading their minds. The redhead opened her arms and pulled Steve and Amelia into a hug, "come here."

It was a nice moment, one of those moments Amelia would hope to never forget, just the three of them, the original team, together.

"I better go," Natasha said, voice turning quiet and she sniffled slightly, making Amelia realise that she was also aware of the fact that things were about to get really difficult and friendships were about to get strained to breaking point.

Steve gave a bitter smile, equally as aware, equally as hopeful that their friendship would be able to stand up against the adversities coming their way.

"Good luck, Nat," Amelia bid her friend goodbye, honest in her words, even though Nat would be moving onto the other side of the line, she still hoped the best for her favourite redhead. They watched silently as Natasha left and once the redhead was out of sight, Amelia turned and pressed herself against Steve's side, wrapping her arms around his waist. "So I'm thinking, room service and a movie, maybe some hot chocolate?"

"That sounds really nice…" Steve sighed, nodding his head and throwing up his eyebrows, it sounded like a well needed relaxing moment, but his eyes strayed back over to the photo of Peggy, "but I think I'm gonna stay here a little bit longer, say goodbye."

"Want me to stay?"

"No, it's okay, you go order food," he bent his head down and pressed a gentle kiss against her head but she wanted more, bending her own head so that he could kiss her on the lips.

"Wow, you're trusting me not to just order junk food, look how far we've come," she joked, parting from Steve.

* * *

 **A/N: So I hope you all understand Amelia's POV with this, it actually changed from what it was originally going to be which was her against the accords because some of you have made me see the light, as it were. But yeah, she's standing by Steve because that's who she's always stood by and who she trusts the most. The accords have brought up a lot of distrust among the Avengers, especially for Amelia because now her fate has been put into question, but she thinks that Steve is the right path because he always has been.**

 **Also, still barely getting internet so updates are hard to do at the moment, I'm really sorry about that!**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, I don't think I will, probably just because the last chapter takes a lot of setting up through the story and it won't really make sense without it. I'll tell you about it after though, and y'all can be like 'WHY DIDN'T YOU DO THAT ONE!'**

 **To LoveFiction2018, gracias.**

 **To BrittStar1199, do we all know that? Do we?**

 **To Sam0728, I am indeed excited for it, and I keep thinking up new things to include. It'll be a nice chapter before all the shit hits the fan again.**

 **To Assbitch67, that wasn't chapter 75, that was chapter 71, I know the numbers and stuff are switched but that's because of all the part intros getting in the way. I promise, chapter 75 (the real chapter 75) will be a nice happy one!**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, don't forget that Amelia still has Tony despite her being an extremely shitty sister to him, I doubt he'd let her end up in a bar with a shock collar.**

 **To Pitspee, I loved reading this comment and I promise this is something I thought about A LOT when planning Civil War. This isn't going to a part for the faint of heart, a lot of things will be put to question, including whether Steve really is a man ready for stability because even though Amelia has come into his life and changed a lot of things, that doesn't change his fears and why he became a soldier. That's all I'm giving away though, but yeah, this definitely comes into play because I feel like I haven't been giving Steve enough of his personality and what you've stated is a big chunk of who Steve, at his core, truly is.**

 **And a big thankoo to the peeps that read the chapter.**


	77. Chapter Seventy-Three

**CHAPTER SEVENTY-THREE**

* * *

" _Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."_

― _**Carrie Fisher**_

* * *

 _There was an ominous silence surrounding Amelia as she awoke, maybe it wasn't actually quiet, her ears were ringing so loudly with white noise that she couldn't really tell. Her entire body ached and she immediately began to cry out. Opening her eyes, she was first visited by the sight of her parents car crushed against a pole. Her father was in the driver's seat, Amelia thought at first that he was asleep but there was so much red covering his face and it was making her unsure. Her mother was soundless in the seat in front of her._

 _She screamed out for them and raised up her hands, trying to get her mummy and daddy to wake up and come see to her, she was panicked. Panicked for herself, and for them. What was wrong with her dad?_

 _All of a sudden the door next to her seat was pulled open, a stranger stood in the doorway looking down at her. She stopped crying momentarily, looking up with wide eyes at the stranger. His face was cast in a shadow, his hair falling in front of his eyes, she tried to get a good look at the man's face, for some reason feeling as though the very world would end if she didn't manage to see who he was._

 _That's all she needed, to just see his face._

 _But she became distracted as he wrapped his hand around her throat. She couldn't understand what he was doing, she was just a kid. He was going to kill her, he was going to kill her, but she was just a kid. His fingers crushed against her windpipe, cutting off all cries and screams. Oxygen became a forgotten thing. She was going to die._

* * *

Waking up, Amelia immediately rushed up from the bed that she'd been laid on and ran over to the bathroom, launching herself at the toilet before vomit flew from her mouth.

She'd never been so disoriented in her entire life, struggling to figure out where she was seen as moments earlier she'd been locked in her two-year-old body, then the next thing she knew she had her head down a toilet.

Still partially locked in her dream, she realised it didn't make any sense, she'd never been able to remember that much of it. It was a new revelation, the fact that whoever kidnapped her had initially tried to kill her, and it made things even more difficult because then why, after being so close to killing her, had he decided to kidnap her and give her to Hydra instead? Amelia couldn't really think clearly as the few bites she'd had from room service before her nap were emptied from her stomach.

Once she was done vomiting she fell back against the bath that was a few centimeters away, she looked at the room around her, familiarising herself with it and reminding herself that she was in London. Not in the car crash. Clearly Steve wasn't with her, she was sure that if he had been then he would be taking care of her. Then she remembered how she'd left him in the church, her soldier promising that he'd return to their hotel room soon. "Steve?" She called out, wondering if perhaps he'd come in and fallen asleep with her but there was no other sound coming from the main room, he really hadn't arrived home yet.

She didn't get immediately worried, he was a super soldier and she could have only been napping for an hour or two as it was still bright outside.

Sighing, Amelia placed her hand across her stomach and began to rub across it, the pain unusual to her but she knew it would go away eventually so she didn't think there was anything to worry about. Her period hadn't happened yet, so she was assuming the pain was due to that. As she thought that, Natasha's words began to echo in the back of her mind, something about sex leading to children but that wasn't possible, was it? No, she and Steve always wore protection. Well, except for the first time she had sex but that was her _first time_ , Amelia simply refused to believe that she could pregnant after that. Surely it had to be more complicated than that?

She splayed out her hand against her stomach, the skin feeling slightly bloated beneath her fingertips. White began to envelop her fingers and pass over her stomach as she closed her eyes. At first there was nothing, no sign of there being any other life than her own inside of her body. Until she started to hear something faint, something so quiet she wasn't sure if it was really even there, maybe it was so quiet because she didn't want to hear it.

No, it couldn't be. She recognised that sound, it was the same noise she'd hear at night whenever she laid her head against Steve's chest. It was a heartbeat.

"Steve? Amelia?!" Sam charged into the hotel room, forcing Amelia to pull her hand away from her stomach and quickly flush away any evidence of anything suspicious.

It wasn't possible, she decided, it was nothing that she needed to worry Sam and Steve about, especially because it was Peggy's funeral and Steve already had a lot playing on his mind.

The pilot rushed into the bathroom, wide-eyed and looking panicked which immediately put Amelia on edge, a good enough distraction that she completely forgot about the tiny drum beat of life she'd been hearing moments earlier. "What's wrong?" She asked, concerned.

"Where's Steve?" Sam asked, mind completely taken by something else that he didn't see anything peculiar about Amelia just standing up from the floor beside the toilet.

"He stayed at the church, said he'd be back soon, why?" Amelia busied her hands by grabbing her toothbrush and filling it with toothpaste.

"We need to find him, now." And with those words he was already leaving and Amelia was still none the wiser, she chose to finish brushing her teeth first, making sure that any signs of her suspicious sickness were hidden from both Sam and Steve.

As she left the bathroom and entered the main room the brunette was momentarily distracted by the television, in front of it was the tray of food she'd ordered from room service, most of it cold, and on the screen was a flashing image of the United Nations building in Vienna, completely destroyed much like the building Amelia had blown up in Lagos. At the bottom in red the text 'United Nations Complex Bombed' could be clearly read. She finally understood why Sam was so panicked, and she agreed with him, they needed to find Steve as soon as possible.

Her movements were much more paced after that, the brunette running her way to the elevator and traveling down to the lobby where she caught sight of Sam, his eyes were flying all the way around the bar area, trying to locate their blonde soldier but he didn't seem to be having any luck.

"Sam," Amelia called as she ran from the elevator and joined his side, "did you try calling him?"

"He turned his phone off for the funeral," Sam answered, turning around to look over at the restaurant area whilst Amelia began to search near the reception.

She suddenly tugged on Sam's arm, the psychic immediately catching sight of a familiar behind as well as the blonde locks of Sharon Carter. Amelia hoped she was wrong, that the pair facing away from them were just two people that looked very oddly similar to people Amelia already knew. Sam made his way over to them first, and when Steve turned his head to look at Sam after the pilot called his name, he pretty much confirmed that _not only_ had Steve just been caught have a private moment with Sharon, a woman he clearly had a history with, but he'd _also_ lied to Amelia by telling her he'd just be staying at the church to say goodbye to Peggy, he'd never mentioned meeting up with Peggy's niece.

Slowly Amelia wandered up to the pair, analysing everything without meaning to, their body language, the way they looked at each other. She told herself repeatedly that there were more things that she needed to be worried about, like the explosion, and how Nat was doing, she hadn't heard about any of the casualties from the few seconds she'd watched the news, she had no idea if her friend was okay or not.

The trio seemed to jump into action after Sam relayed the information about the explosion, Sharon telling them they could go watch the TV in her room. They rushed inside the elevator and Amelia followed.

"Has anyone heard from Nat?" Steve asked, immediately taking out his phone and turning it on.

"How many casualties were there?" Sharon followed, also taking out her own phone, noticing that she had a few calls from work that she'd missed.

"I don't know," Sam shrugged, "I saw the news and instantly went to find you."

"Amelia?" Steve turned to the brunette, hoping she might be able to share some more news but she simply shrugged her shoulders. His eyes remained trained on her for a moment, the soldier finally noticing that Amelia looked slightly uncomfortable. Her arms were crossed over her chest and her eyes kept going over to Sharon, she didn't look happy and when she finally noticed Steve's analytic gaze she gave nothing away, refusing to tell him what was actually wrong with her.

Mainly because there was far too much on the list.

She was feeling depressed, more than ever. And she had this horrible feeling in her gut towards Sharon, something she thought could possibly be jealousy but Amelia had never felt the emotion strongly before so she had no idea whether it truly was jealousy or not.

She pondered over the meaning of the word. Jealousy was an envious resentment towards someone. Did she feel envy towards Sharon? There was no reason to, other than the fact that Steve had secretly met up with her lover who clearly had some sort of history with the woman that he hadn't ever told Amelia about.

They made it to Sharon's room just as Steve got a text notification on his phone. "It's Nat," he revealed, everyone releasing a sigh of relief, "she says that she's okay, but there were casualties. Apparently the King of Wakanda passed away."

Sharon turned the TV on just as she got a phone call from work, beginning to talk to her boss as the rest stood and watched the news on the television. Amelia stood away from Steve for once, unable to stop herself from being displeased over the fact that he'd had a secret rendezvous with Sharon.

"A bomb hidden in a news van ripped through the UN building in Vienna," the news anchor reported, "more than 70 people have been injured, at least 12 are dead, including Wakanda's King T'Chaka. Officials have released a video of a suspect who they have identified as James Buchanan Barnes, the Winter Soldier. The infamous Hydra agent, linked to numerous acts of terrorism and political assassinations…"

The moment Bucky's name was said both Sam and Amelia looked over to Steve, wondering what his reaction would be but he managed to maintain a cold expression. He didn't believe it, that's what they managed to gather.

Amelia was unsure at first, knowing full well what the Winter Soldier used to be like, she'd never truly met _Bucky_. From the way Steve was acting, it was clear someone like Bucky would never be capable of such atrocities, and so she needed to think more like the blond soldier, rather than AS09 who feared the Winter Soldier the same way a child fears the unknown beneath their bed.

"What do we do?" Sam asked, letting the fellow soldier know that he was going to stand by his leader.

Amelia made sure to do the same as well, throwing aside all her nitpicks to wander over to Steve and grab a hold of his hands, "we find him, and we _help_ him." If Steve didn't believe that Bucky did do the bombing, then neither did she, and just because of her history with the man she wasn't going to allow that to get in the way of her being by Steve's side. He was safer with her there, so she was always going to be there.

He looked down at her and a smile broke through his lips, proud to have such supportive people as his friends, he was about to press a kiss to her lips when Sharon stepped forward, hanging up her phone and sighing at the screen, "I have to go to work."

"Cool, bye then," Amelia chippered, voice icy and earning a look from Steve who hadn't been expecting her to act so hostile towards the blonde. Even Sam was sending her an inquisitive look, eyebrows raised in shock but Amelia pretended to be unaware, her glare poised only on the affronted agent.

"No, wait," Steve interrupted, pushing against Amelia slightly and making her drop her hand from his, she wasn't even sure if he was giving her a 'don't do that' push or a 'get away from me' push but she'd taken it as a 'get away from me' push and that did nothing but fuel her jealousy even further. She wasn't even angry at Sharon, Amelia reminded herself, she was mad at Steve and this one secret he'd had plenty of opportunities to tell her of. He hadn't even introduced the two girls, which was normally something he'd do. "We could use a lift," he requested, words sounding much more earnest and gentle than Amelia's had, which boiled her blood just that little bit more.

"Yeah, no problem," Sharon's eyes kept flicking between Steve and Amelia, and the brunette hated how they softened whenever they'd land on Steve.

She felt emotional, overly emotional, and she was going to keep blaming that on her period being late because that was easier for her to admit to.

* * *

 **A/N: Amelia being jealous, that's new. But there's a lot of reasons behind why she's feeling distruct, for one, her hormones are crazy right now and I also think that jealousy reflects a little bit on where her relationship with Steve is. Jealousy is bred from distrust.**

 **To LoveFiction2018, thank you ^^**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, that's beautiful, I'm sorry about your grandparents but I do believe that their spirits are living on in the stars. I'm not sure where this thing came from with me, I've just always had an attachment to the stars and what they mean. There's the science of course, but I like to think there's more to it. I have this early memory, from about three years ago I think, where I'd just been abused again and I went and sat outside feeling like 'why? Why am I still alive?' and I looked up at the stars and it's like their light was reaching down to me, reminding me that even through darkness there was always a little light and I could feel that light, it was intense but it helped me carry on. I can't think of a way to describe that sensation befitting enough, maybe it was just because I was over-emotional but... Idk, stars are important to me, I feel like that's kind of obvious when it comes to this story.**

 **To Sam0728, I feel like the storm doesn't full on hit until chapter 78 maybe chapter 79. These upcoming chapters are the moments when you see the storm rising, the black clouds in the distance, warning you to find shelter immediately.**

 **To BrittStar1199, oh definitely, it's one of the things I try to make sure people are aware of, Amelia is a _bad_ sister. Of course she has her reasons, he only became her brother after twenty-five years of that Hydra lyfe. But that doesn't excuse the fact that she has never really put faith in her brother, even though she's gotten closer to him through time, she'd still choose Steve over him (half the time she doesn't realise she's doing it) even though Steve could be taking her down a darker, less safe, path to the one Tony is trying to give to his sister. Tony actually considers Amelia as his sister, whereas Amelia only really sees Tony as the guy that's apparently her brother, if that makes sense.**

 **To Pitspee, aye, I feel like I didn't show enough the effect Peggy's death had on Amelia though. She got quite close to Peggy and was very grateful to the dame for all she'd done to make Steve into the man he is. And idk about worrying about Sharon, you'll just have to wait and see I guess.**

 **To TheNoPickleZone, thank you! And yes, she has chosen Steve, for now.**

 **To Assbitch67, I love writing your username lol (I'm clearly more immature than I like to think I am), and thank you, the stars thing was a last minute addition when I was having a very down moment. I always like to write when I'm sad though because my writing feels more raw that way, and that star thing just felt important in a way. Idk, I'm very rambly today, I apologise!**

 **And a big thank you to everyone that read the chapter. There SHOULD (I'm making no promises) be updates for the next three days just because I'm staying somewhere with internet right now, but it all depends on if I can get enough writing done. It's hard getting back into the habit of writing a chapter a day, it takes 21 days to create a habit and only 3 days to break it so... SEE YOU TOMORROW HOPEFULLY!**


	78. Chapter Seventy-Four

**CHAPTER SEVENTY-FOUR**

* * *

" _That is all I want in life: for this pain to seem purposeful."_

― _**Elizabeth Wurtzel**_

* * *

Sam and Amelia were seated inside a restaurant in their best put together disguises, consisting completely of casual clothes, a hat, and sunglasses. For Amelia, she wore a baggy hoodie, ripped skinny jeans and a plain black snapback, everything she ever seemed to wear was black.

She'd actually tried a week of wearing other colours, but both herself and the mirror agreed that her wearing colour should be saved for important events only. One day she'd chosen to wear a neon blue shirt and it was such an eyesore that she couldn't handle wearing it for longer than ten minutes.

They were sat in silence waiting for Steve to return to them after departing so he could go phone Natasha and make sure that she was okay. They'd also parted from Sharon which Amelia had easily done, spending as much time away from the blond agent as she could, even though that meant also creating space between her and Steve. It had made her only slightly more bitter, which wasn't saying much considering her mood had managed to stay low their entire flight over. She'd done her best to pretend that she was fine in front of Steve, it had become one of her special skills.

For a second she dropped her facade, Steve wasn't there so she felt no need to keep her lips bent in a painful smile. Sam was getting them food, she was alone again and she allowed herself to think over everything that had happened in the past few days, not so much that she'd cry, but enough that she could finally come to terms with everything and hopefully move on.

That's what she did, that's all she could do in order to not fall apart. She didn't have therapy anymore, she couldn't talk to someone about all of her problems so all she could do was simply acknowledge her problems and move on. It wasn't full proof. Sometimes her problems would rear their ugly heads and refuse to back down, that was usually at night time once Steve was sound asleep, she'd be awake and incapable of falling asleep as thoughts like spiders tormented her mind, weaving webs that she'd constantly catch herself stuck on.

So much had occurred the past few weeks, from Lagos to the accords to losing Peggy to finding out that Steve was surprisingly close to Peggy's niece. Peggy's beautiful niece.

Sharon Carter looked a lot more like Steve's type, she thought bitterly, with the blonde hair and the righteous lifestyle she'd been living ever since birth because she had Peggy as her aunt. Sharon Carter had angel wings and a halo, much like Steve did.

If Amelia had wings, she imagined that they'd be black (of course), most of the feathers burnt from all the fire she created. Steve had said he liked her fire, that he'd been in ice long enough, but she was beginning to wonder if that was true. Sure, fire could warm him up, but too much could burn him. Maybe they'd finally reached that point, with her setting off that explosion in Lagos, maybe he wanted someone whose light wasn't made entirely out of destructive flames.

Sighing loudly, she pushed her head into her hands, willing the jealous thoughts turned self-deprecation to disappear, hating how insecure she'd become just because Steve had a certain kind of relationship with another woman.

It was dumb. Her emotions were dumb. Yet she couldn't stop feeling them despite how much she tried to. It was like her depression was a permanent storm above her head, lightning would crash down on her and the light and the sound and the pain was just _too much_ for her to ignore. Everything was becoming too much.

She hadn't even started to think about what she'd heard in the bathroom back in England, she refused to acknowledge it, despite all the signs being thrown her way. Amelia was hoping she could put it off just like all her own problems, but something like a pregnancy couldn't be so easily ignored. She'd soon come to learn that in the worst possible way.

She heard the sound of a plate being set down in front of her and she immediately threw up walls around her emotions so that they'd be hidden away from any prying eyes. Looking up, Sam sat down beside her after putting down a plate with a croissant on it. He'd gotten himself a glass of orange juice whilst getting her a diet coke and some food. Amelia had made a point to complain about there being no food on the plane they'd shared with Sharon in order to get over to Vienna, really she was just complaining for the sake of complaining, wanting to find anything and everything she could to hate Sharon for.

As Amelia looked at the croissant Sam had retrieved for her, she found herself feeling too full for it. She hadn't eaten since those few bites of room service and even then she'd only had a little bit to eat, normally if Steve didn't show up in time for food she would have sucked it all in like a black hole but she'd only been able to manage a few mouthfuls.

The brunette started to poke at the croissant with her fork. It was the perfect croissant, it was plump and fluffy and still warm with a delicious sheen to it, really the croissant shouldn't have lasted so long but Amelia was far too full of nagging thoughts and black cloud emotions swirling around her body. How was she supposed to enjoy food when it felt like the world wasn't worth enjoying anymore?

She grew more frustrated with herself then, frustrated with the way she was feeling, frustrated with the fact that she couldn't even enjoy food because of her neverending foul mood.

If Sam didn't know that something was wrong with her after the plane ride that she'd spent acting out of character, complaining about trivial things and pouting in a corner, then he definitely knew after watching her poke a delicious looking croissant for over a minute.

"So what's up Lil' Stark?" He questioned, trying to keep his tone both soft and casual so he didn't scare Amelia away.

"Hmm?" Amelia had gotten distracted once again by all her loud thoughts, but she'd still managed to hear Sam's words and they were like some sort of trigger that lit up panic within her. She wasn't sure when telling her friends about her depression became such a scary thing for her, but it was and she couldn't cease that resistance within her. She simply didn't want to be a burden to her friends and there was a part of her that was ashamed of being so affected by what she perceived as trivial things. She used to kill people for a living, the betrayal of an acquaintance or some drop-dead gorgeous blonde shouldn't make her fall apart so easily. Amelia was meant to be made of iron, not string.

"Nothing much, what about you?" Redirection, that was the only plan she could think of under such short notice.

"Sorry, let me rephrase my question: why are you so down lately?" Sam sent her a short glare, letting her know he saw through her lies.

That was the one issue with getting close to people, they could tell when there was something wrong with you and they could tell when you were lying about what that thing was, it made her almost miss her days back at Hydra when no one would speak to her and no one would care if she seemed upset. As soon as that thought popped into her head though she pushed it away, no, she definitely did not miss her days at Hydra. The fact that such thoughts were passing through her head made her realise just how affected she was becoming by the spiders in her brain.

"I- I'm not 'down'," her voice wobbled as she became affronted by Sam's concerned. Amelia tried to recover quickly, clearing her throat and sending out a much stronger: "I'm fine."

"Uh-huh, and I'm a fish," Sam responded, taking a sip from his drink as he continued to send Amelia a 'cut the bullshit' look that she simply stared away from, looking all around the restaurant, anywhere but at him.

"I thought you were a pigeon?" Amelia joked, forcing out a laugh to her own joke, doing anything she could to pretend like she was _okay_. Her black eyes swept over to the doorway, spotting Steve in his own cap and sunglasses. He was still on the phone but she was urging him to come back with her eyes, hoping that he might notice the look she was sending his way and come to rescue her but he was looking in the opposite direction and it didn't look like he was going to come rescue her anytime soon.

Sam chuckled as well, surprisingly, and a soft smile slipped on his lips as he watched the small brunette giggle at her own joke. "I think that might be the first time I've heard you laugh in weeks," he commented, making Amelia's laugh fade into silence.

Clearly, she hadn't been careful enough with keeping her mood always positive.

"We were just at a funeral," she quickly excused, "and with everything that happened in Lagos, and the accords-"

"You haven't been the same since Rebecca. Something's playing on your mind, something you don't want to tell Steve." He was right, so right that it hurt her. And she wanted to tell him, she wanted to be able to talk about her feelings and have them acknowledged and work on solving her problems, but after Rebecca, she just couldn't burden anyone else with all of her issues. Sam leaned forward, not letting her get away from him. "And that's fine. What you do in your private hours is your own business, I just want you to know that I'm here for you, if you ever want to talk about what's really going through your head."

Sam was possibly the best person for her to talk to seen as he'd worked plenty with war veterans, helping them with their PTSD and helping them get back into the real world. Amelia knew that. But could she really tell him? Could she really reveal that she hadn't been doing too well since Rebecca's betrayal, that she felt out of place in the world again, that there was so much darkness in her and she didn't know what to do with any of it other than wish that it all disappear?

She could. The opportunity was right there. Amelia opened her mouth, about to let everything spill from her the way water would spill from an overflowing jug. It was as simple as saying a few words, she told herself. She'd almost told Steve, she could tell Sam.

Except, they were interrupted. Just like when she was with Steve, only that time it was the soldier that did the interrupting. Wandering over to the table that they were seated at. Sam felt frustrated too, knowing how close he'd gotten to finally opening up Amelia but they had to return to the mission at hand which was more important than Amelia's feelings. Everything was more important, she thought bitterly.

"So did Natasha tell you that we should stay out of it?" Amelia asked, changing the subject.

Unsurprisingly Steve nodded his head, confirming what both the pilot and the ex-assassin had suspected Natasha would say. By going after Bucky, they'd be going against more than just the accords, they'd be going against the entire government who were looking to apprehend and possibly terminate Bucky for what he'd possibly done.

"She might have a point," Sam revealed.

"He'd do it for me," Steve responded easily, mind completely decided which didn't surprise Amelia.

Steve Rogers was loyal, sometimes to a fault but the brunette had yet to see how too much loyalty could be a thing for. At that point in time, she still admired Steve's loyalty to those he cared about and she was trying her best to mirror it. That was why she was determined to stand by his side when it came to the accords, she was simply trying to be as loyal as he could be.

"1945, maybe. I just want to make sure we've considered all our options. The people that shoot at you usually wind up shooting at me." The pilot had made up his mind years ago that he'd follow Steve, and he knew that Amelia felt exactly the same way, which is why he felt partially responsible for if things did actually turn out the wrong way, if Bucky turned out to still have the mind of the Winter Soldier.

"Me too," Amelia added on, only she didn't mind it all that much because at least if they were shooting at her they weren't shooting at Steve. It gave her life some purpose. If she didn't have Steve to protect then there was no doubt in her mind that she'd just spend all of her time in bed wasting her life away. She pushed the plate with the croissant over towards her lover, "eat that."

Taking care of Steve, protecting Steve, that's what she needed to concentrate on. That was why she couldn't let her thoughts consume her or Steve or any of her friends. She was protecting them.

"Oh, thanks," he began to reach down to get the croissant Amelia had chosen against eating when a file was suddenly dropped in front of him.

A familiar blonde moved to sit herself at the table behind them, facing away from the trio so to most onlookers it didn't seem like they were part of a group. Because she was turned away, Sharon did not notice the ice that glazed Amelia's vision as she looked towards the blonde, and she didn't notice when Sam nudged the brunette for her behaviour either.

"Tips have been pouring in since that footage went public, everybody thinks the Winter Soldier goes to their gym. Most of it is noise, except for this." Steve raised his eyebrows and grabbed the folder, pulling it closer to him and opening it up so that he could begin reading through it. "My boss expects a briefing pretty much now, so that's all the head start you're gonna get."

"Thank you," Amelia chimed, surprising everyone and making Sharon turn her head she was so shocked by the brunette thanking her. All Amelia had been towards Sharon was hostile, but Amelia knew how much trouble Sharon could get for giving them that folder, knew how much of herself she was putting on the line, and Amelia was grateful for that. Plus, Sam's little nudge made her realise just how terrible she'd been at keeping her malevolence disguised.

Sharon nodded her head towards Amelia, excepting the gratitude maturely and then leaving before anyone saw the agent with the soon-to-be fugitives.

The soldier's eyes were trained on the folder but Amelia was playing in the back of his mind, especially because they were finally closing in on Bucky. He was worried of the effect his presence would have on her, she didn't even know that Bucky was the one who'd kidnapped her from Hydra and he _knew_ that he needed to tell her about it, before it was too late. But she was already struggling so much with the nightmares and with everything that had happened with Rebecca, and she had her fate to worry about thanks to the accords, he didn't want to add onto that.

He just wanted to protect her, the same way she wanted to protect him by storing all her of thoughts, not realising that all she was doing was adding gasoline to a flame

"Where to next, boss?" Amelia asked, leaning closer to him so that she could see into the folder and read it's contents.

"Bucharest," Steve answered.

* * *

 **A/N: Some Sam interaction because I just felt like there needed to be more. I love Sam so much, and don't think he gets enough credit. Anyone see the Ace comic-con from this year with Seb, Tom Holland, and Anthony? I cringed so much when I watched it. Can't believe there are actual Marvel fans out there like that.**

 **Also, a quick apology, I have ingested a lot of alcohol tonight and I'm typing this author's note in the dark.**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, hello again! Long time no see! It's nice to hear from you again ^^ and next chapter I promise.**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, exactly. I've been trying to think of what to get as a tattoo recently, I've mostly wanted a Marvel tattoo as it's really been the driving force for my life recently but maybe stars is what I should concentrate on. I'd love to see a picture if possible? And thank you!**

 **To Pitspee, shhh don't tell Mia yet she hasn't fully come to terms with the fact that she's pregnant, she refuses to. And interesting theory, but I can't say any more, I'm drunk and REALLY want to just tell you what's going to happen but I mustn't. And really? I'm voting for a girl. Do you reckon her children will be super-powered or normal? Amelia got her powers from Hydra, and Steve got his from the super soldier serum.**

 **To Sam0728, random question, why 0728? You don't have to tell me, I'm just wondering if the numbers have any meaning. And also 'Steve's baby mama' just YES. I LOVE IT.**

 **To Faora, hello! I would never break Steve and Amelia up, I love them together too much. But the story goes where the story wants to go. However, I am the author, controller of the story. Basically, who knows where this story will go. I'm still not decided on what the ending should be.**

 **To BrittStar1199, glad my ramblings make sense! I reckon it's just a stereotype, Steve will notice eventually though. Chapter 75 is the best, not my favourite, but a good chap. And honestly 'stressful' is the perfect word to describe the entirety of part four.**

 **To LadyAmazon, possibly... I have so many responses to your comment but I can't say any of them without giving away the ending and it's so frustrating!**

 **To Tralalala1087, tralalala is insanely hard to write when inebriated, who'd'da thought, AND THANK YOU THIS WAS SUCH A SWEET REVIEW!**

 **To Assbitch67, SHE'S SO FUN TO WRITE AS WELL! But you know what would be more fun to write? Jealous!Steve, I haven't got there yet, but I swear, one of these days, I will. And honestly, that Donald Glover gif could probably fit all these chapters. Except Chapter 75, which is such a nice chapter, I promise.**

 **And a big ol' thank you to everyone that read the chapter! I hope you've enjoyed it, I know it's a bit slow, and I'm sorry about that. I feel like the past few chapters have been slow but things start to get interesting next chapter, at least from my point of view.**


	79. Chapter Seventy-Five

**CHAPTER SEVENTY-FIVE**

* * *

" _I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close._ "

― _**Pablo Nerude**_

* * *

There was something inside of Amelia Stark, the world knew that. They believed it to be something evil and sinister, something far too powerful and something that had the potential to kill them. They'd all seen it on the news, the darkness that seeps from her very pores. She was different, even different to all the heroes they'd gotten used to seeing. She didn't dress in red, white and blue, or have a million dollars, she didn't come from humble beginnings and she didn't _choose_ to be a hero. She was different, and that terrified them.

But there was something else inside of Amelia Stark, she was slowly coming to terms with that. Not something evil, and not something deadly. It was life. Not much, just a small heartbeat that when she concentrated enough on she was _sure_ she could hear it. Whenever Steve and Sam weren't looking Amelia would place her hand against her stomach, and focus on that heartbeat, that tiny yet powerful heartbeat. It was new, and different, and that terrified her.

So much so that every time she'd catch herself listening for it, she'd snatch her hand away and focus on something else because _no_ _it couldn't be_. She was just hearing things, it wouldn't be the first time as she'd been followed by Pierce's ghost for over a year. All that heartbeat was, was an embodiment of what she wanted. A small farm in the middle of nowhere with Steve, a dog, and two children. Their children. But that wasn't an achievable goal, not whilst they were undergoing such challenging circumstances. The Accords. Bucky. Her secrets. They needed to move past all of that before they even thought about finding a small farm.

And even then, even after everything is over, Amelia didn't know if she could really ever be a mother. Amelia believed that the maternal bone had been beaten and broken far too much during her youth. Sure, all her bones had healed eventually, but just like every other wound, it left a scar. A part of her was genuinely scared that if she were to become a parent, she'd be cold and callous, and treat them the exact same way Pierce had treated her, because he was the only parental figure she'd ever had.

"What are you thinking about?" Steve asked, the both of them had sat together on a jet over to Bucharest and for the most part it had been silent.

The soldier had plenty to think about himself, he was worrying about Amelia as per usual, among other things. He was thinking about all the conversations they never got to finish, of all the tidbits Amelia had shown him which proved to the soldier that she needed _help_ , that mentally she was suffering from dealing with everything. He was thinking about Sharon and the way Amelia had been acting towards her, it almost seemed like his lover was jealous of Peggy's neice but that didn't make sense. And that was another thing. Amelia's moods were so up and down that they were impossible to keep track of, one moment she was snapping at Sharon and the next she was thanking her for helping them out. He simply connected that to the broken pieces of her mind, he didn't think it could possibly be because there was a life growing inside of her that was making her hormones react. How could he, when Amelia was keeping so much from him?

The brunette turned to look at him, away from the fluffy white clouds out of her window. Black connected with blue but it was much more than that, it was two souls, connected in such an unimaginable way. Every time she looked at Steve, she always felt elation, no matter what mood her brain was in, her heart felt like it was floating on the very white clouds she'd been staring at moments earlier. She loved him, so much.

'Oh, something wonderful,' she wanted to say, 'a wonderful concept: it's a warm summer's morning. We are sat outside on the deck of our farmhouse, across from us there are fields, fields as far as the eye could see. So much green, so much life. Over the hill we see the sun begin to rise and we welcome it silently, sipping on our warm coffees but yet our lips are not the warmest part of our bodies. It is our hands, interlocked. Your touch is a sunrise against my skin and it fills me with so much light. The silence doesn't last, but we don't mind. First, our dog comes out of the door, it's tongue is drooping out of its mouth and its fur glows from the suns rays. Next, our two children. They'd just woken up, and it's your turn to make their breakfast before we take them to school. You jokingly groan, try and get me to do it, neither of us are fully awake ourselves. But eventually, you get up, playfully pushing our children inside, tempting them with pancakes made from my recipe. Before you go inside though, you turn me, and you say: I was wrong, perfect does exist. That moment is perfection. We are perfection. Our family is perfection.'

It was perfection, but it wasn't achievable, she knew that much. She could never have children, not whilst she was still such a broken person, and Steve wasn't ready to leave the life they had behind. People relied on them, needed them, even if they were being blinded by the accords. That concept would be remaining a dream for quite a long while. Perhaps forever, the brunette thought glumly.

Amelia smiles at Steve, and it doesn't entirely reach her eyes, not until she pulls Steve's hand into her lap. "Nothing," she mumbles, and though Steve doesn't fully believe her, he doesn't push. He'd stopped pushing a while ago, around the same time that her dreams of the night of her kidnapping had become more frequent. The brunette pulled his hand up to her lips and kissed across his knuckles. That was one of the things she liked most about being in a relationship with Steve, she got to finally kiss him and touch him whenever she wanted to.

"I think we need to talk," he said, tone unwavering and serious, making Amelia quirk an eyebrow up.

Immediately alarm bells went up in her head, he _knew_. She wasn't even sure what he knew, which went to show just how much she'd started to keep from him. It could be about her depression, the fact she could still use her black powers and sometimes couldn't even use her white powers, or it could be the tiny heartbeat in her belly. Had he heard it too?

"Oh?" Amelia pretended to be more interested in his knuckles, managing to keep her voice nonchalant despite the way her heart was racing.

"About Sharon," he revealed, and she visibly relaxed once the words came from his lips. Finally she could look at him, no longer concerned that if he looked into her eyes, looked into her soul, he'd be able to see all the lies she'd done her best to cover. "I feel like I owe you a bit of an explanation."

"Do you?" She was pretending to be coy, acting as though for the past day and a half she hadn't been bubbling with a grotesquely green jealousy towards Peggy's niece. Whilst Amelia was relieved to hear that it wasn't about anything much more life-ending (like a pesky child in her womb, for example), the brunette still didn't like the idea that she was proving to be more and more a burden to Steve, getting in the way of his mourning to make him placate any uncalled, yet uncontrollable, emotions with her.

He twisted his hand around in hers so that he could take his turn to grab at her fingers, clutching them tightly in his grip. "You know, we've been dating almost a year now, known each other for almost three, and I don't think I've ever seen you jealous," he wasn't saying it to mock her though that's how she'd felt at first. It was clear by his tone that he was speaking more out of concern than anything else.

"I'm sorry," her words continued to be mumbled as Amelia couldn't help but feel slightly abashed by his concern, it isn't what she wanted. All she wanted was to be the one comforting Steve, making him feel better whenever he was sad, not the other way around. _She wasn't supposed to be sad_.

"Hey, you don't need to apologise," he comforted, voice turning lighter, less daunting, "just tell me what's going on Freckles?"

Tell him what's going on? That was asking a lot from her. She realised with a torn heart that Steve didn't actually want to hear about everything that was going wrong with her, just the stuff about Sharon, maybe that would be a little bit easier for her to do. Maybe, if she could tell Steve about her concerns towards Sharon, then she could later on finally tell him about the overwhelming darkness she felt looming in herself, both mentally and from her powers, perhaps they were both one in the same.

She took in a long breath and finally raised her eyes up from their conjoined hands over to her lover's face, he was giving her _that look_ , it was his 'it's okay, talk to me' look that she'd seen him give too many of his friends and coworkers whenever they were being stressed out or upset about something. It always felt different when he did it to her though, maybe it was the love that shined clearly in his eyes, or maybe it was just because being a victim to that look was a different experience to watching others be victims.

Amelia half expected an interruption, it's why she waited so long to speak, everytime she just started to tell Steve something about her real emotions something always seemed to happen. But not then. Not when they were on the awkward topic of her irksome jealousy.

"I don't know why I'm jealous," she rushed the words out, surprising Steve as seconds earlier she'd been quiet and calm, "I literally just got hit with them out of nowhere. Like I saw her look at you at Peggy's funeral, and then Sam nudged you which I thought was weird, and then you wouldn't look at me. Then after I left you said you were just going to say goodbye to Peggy, you didn't tell me you were going to meet up with Sharon and that you were going to be with her for _hours_. I ordered us food. Clearly you have some sort of history with her, but I've never heard about her or seen her before, which is weird because we've pretty much told each other everything. We know all there is to know about each other." Lies. "So why don't I know her? The only logical thing that I can come up with is that she was me before me, your girlfriend I mean. She is Peggy's niece, and you were once attracted to Peggy, so maybe you were also attracted to her." She managed to finish speaking and have Steve be completely disoriented, the soldier taking a minute to actually take in all the things she'd said.

He didn't even know where to start when it came to building up his retort, so he simply gave a befuddled laugh, "you've thought a lot about this, huh?"

"Don't smile," Amelia huffed, slapping gently at his hand.

"I'm not smiling," he responded, a smile very clearly prominent on his lips.

"Yes you are!"

"No I'm not," he had to force down his lips, poising them in such a frown that it was clearly fake and it barely masked the way his lips kept twitching to rise back up in amusement.

Steve just couldn't help it, normally it was the super soldier who'd been jealousy's victim. His best friend had always had a way with women whilst Steve was much more awkward and clumsy, there were many dates where he'd end up on his own and his best friend would end up with two dancing partners instead of one. Steve had to remind himself then how Bucky used to treat his jealousy, and then he needed to remind himself how _not_ to react to Amelia's own jealousy.

Of course, the situation they were in was quite different to the one he'd be in with his best friend, he was actually dating Amelia so that made things a little bit more complicated. He couldn't simply tell her 'the right ones out there for you somewhere, waiting to be found' which is what Bucky would normally say to him, because he was her one and she had found him. All Steve needed to do was convince her of that, he realised.

"It's just…" Amelia spoke up, voice turning back to quiet and serious before stopping altogether as the brunette struggled with getting her feelings out. She could trust Steve, she reminded herself, he wasn't Rebecca. He hadn't lied to her and he wasn't keeping any secrets from her, they'd promised never to do that. She could _trust_ him. "It's just that you've never told me about her, I wouldn't be so _jealous_ if it weren't for that." She'd spat the word jealous out as though it was as much a disgusting word as 'Hydra'.

"Well I'll tell you now," he offered simply, earning Amelia's full attention. Steve made sure to keep all the information he'd relayed simple, there was nothing to get worried about because he'd done nothing wrong, there was nothing going on between him and the agent. "Before I met you, I met her. She was pretending to be my neighbor, really she was a SHIELD agent keeping an eye on me. Whilst I was under the impression that she was a simple nurse living next door, we started to get close. After I met you and after everything that happened at the Triskelion we lost contact. The funeral was the first time I'd seen her, and also the first time I found out that she's Peggy's niece." The brunette was nodded along with his words, soaking them in, actually listening to him. He was going to end the subject there but the super soldier decided he was going to be _really_ honest with her, that way they'd be able to strengthen their trust. He didn't bother admitting it to himself that really he was just being swallowed by guilt for keeping one, rather large, secret. "I did form some sort of crush on her when I thought she was just a neighbor, but then I found out she was a SHIELD agent and then me and you got close."

"She was another almost," Amelia commented, smiling slightly. Steve had a lot of 'almost's, but she was his first definite and the brunette couldn't help but feel a swell of pride enlarge her heart to the point that it pressed against her rib cage.

He let out a laugh, the soldier realising just how right his lover was. Before her, 'almost' was the word that perfectly described his life. He'd almost beaten Hydra, he'd almost had Peggy, he'd almost gone on a date with her, he'd almost saved Bucky, he'd almost been happy. "Yeah," he murmured, agreeing with her.

In that moment Steve was actually happy, a pure kind of happiness that Amelia rarely got to experience. Sam had been right. She was suffering, and it had started after Rebecca's betrayal. She was depressed, and there were probably some underlying mental illnesses that had formed from all of the traumatic events she'd lived through, Amelia would much rather that be the cause of her mood swings rather than whatever was inside of her stomach.

But she did have happy moments, where she felt entirely elated, both her heart and mind beaming as well as her lips. It was a happy moment then as Steve turned to her and let out a mocking tut, "I can't believe you got jealous."

"Shut up," she retorted, abashed as she pushed harshly against his shoulder. Steve was barely affected by the nudge though he did wobble his body slightly so his lover could feel like she'd made some sort of effect.

"I mean I've never had a jealous girlfriend before, it was kind of hot," he continued, being cheeky and showing off his boyish charm. It was sometimes difficult to remember how young Steve's spirit was, whilst his body made had lived almost a hundred years (most of that whilst locked in ice) it was incredibly easy then for her to recognise just how much youth he still had left in him. Hidden beneath the shield, and his leadership role, and all the burdens he forced down onto his own shoulders, there was still a kid from Brooklyn. "The way you got all protective and stuff, I kind of liked it."

The brunette groaned, loudly and obnoxiously, making a pool of warmth harden in Steve's lower body. He'd never thought it so possible to find someone so sexy where even something as simple as a sound could have such an effect on him. But everything about Amelia was so intense that it wasn't really that much of a surprise. At the thought of just how much he ordered her, Steve reached his hand into his pocket and wrapped his free hand around the velvet box that had been secretly perched inside his pocket at all times, waiting for the perfect opportunity to reveal itself. The right time had yet to come, but Steve was sure that it would eventually. It had to.

"Well don't get too used to it," Amelia teased back, "you, however, I wouldn't mind seeing jealous." The brunette leaned closer to Steve and hugged his arm against her body, "all broody and protective, now that would be hot."

"Yeah, never gonna happen," he replied, sounding far too confident and masking the way his blood would boil just at the thought of someone other than him trying to charm Amelia. He had to quickly remind himself of the thin line between jealousy and possessiveness. Amelia hadn't been possessive, she hadn't forced him to kiss her in front of Sharon or made some sort of show of her claim to the super soldier. She'd become slightly aggressive, but she hadn't pushed Sharon away and told Steve that he couldn't ever talk to Peggy's niece ever again. He needed to give her that same respect.

"Why?" Amelia questioned, eyes turning to slits as she saw through the super soldiers lies.

But he remained adamant that he wouldn't ever find himself in a position of jealousy with her, "because I'm confident that you're all mine, just as I am that I'm yours."

Her slitted eyes relaxed as one eyebrow quirked upward, "oh yeah?"

"Mhmm," Steve hummed as he leaned forward and connected his lips against hers. She accepted the small peck, finding that she desired more as he began to lean back away from her, she didn't allow him to get away from her so easily, instead she followed him, pushing her lips firmly against hers and Steve did nothing to stop her.

Amelia did eventually part away from her lover though as a thought like a lightbulb flashed brightly in her head. "You know, when Nat was giving me the sex talk, she told me something about the mile high club."

Steve's eyebrows rose the highest they ever had and his eyes widened to the widest they ever had, the super soldier even gulping and all Amelia could do was smirk. It was a delicious feeling whenever she managed to shock or surprise Steve who was so adamant about being a gentleman and proper, wildness was not one of his traits but it was one of Amelia's.

"What else did she tell you?" He questioned, suddenly curious.

"Far too much," Amelia responded, her tone haunted as her eyes fell onto the seat in front of them, she wasn't looking at that though, no, she was revisiting her shared moment with Natasha where the redhead had basically scarred her for life. Shaking her head, she looked back over to Steve and allowed the smirk to slip back on her lips like her favourite leather jacket, "anyway, shall we?"

"What? No!" He quickly demolished, cheeks turning a hue of red as he realised just how loud he'd become whilst declining her offer. Looking around, there were a few people eyeing him, including Sam, which made him feel a little bit more uncomfortable as Steve was the kind of guy that didn't kiss and tell, he was private in that regard. Amelia and Steve needed at least something in their relationship to be private. "No," he repeated once again, voice quieter.

The brunette didn't seem affected by Steve's declinations though and her confidence radiated off of her the same way heat was cast from the sun. She lazily shrugged her shoulders, "well if you change your mind, I'm gonna go hang in the bathroom for the next ten minutes." She stood up and easily slinked her way from the row of seats that she and Steve had been sharing. "See you soon," she practically sang, running her hands through his hair and tugging slightly, a show of what would be to come.

He scoffed but said nothing to her as she left. Steve wasn't going to go, he was Captain America, a man of respect. He didn't just have sex in bathroom stalls. There was _no way_ he was going to meet Amelia in that bathroom. No way.

Looking around, he checked to make sure no one was watching him as he got up and followed Amelia.

* * *

 **A/N: Well hello, so, umm, I'm moving for the next week and don't think I'll be able to get much writing done. It's kind of just happened suddenly and I've got a lot to do, which is annoying for me because I'm getting into the best part of Part Four. But yeah, ik I'm being really shitty with posting lately cause just everything that could go wrong is happening and I'll try my best to get at least some writing done. But I'm literally going to be moving, and then moving again, so all that won't be done until August. I'm sure I'll have some days free here and there to write though.**

 **To Sam0728, ah fair do's. Hope you enjoyed the chapter ^^**

 **To Faora, at least they stayed together this chapter!**

 **To Pitspee, hmm I don't know if I'll write that particular scene, I'm very much on board with Mia gaining more self-confidence, but I think she needs to learn to love herself rather than know that people love her. If that makes sense? And dw Jealous!Steve is going to come to fruition soon, I'm very close to writing that chapter as well which I'm excited as hell for. And I never thought about that, but like Amelia said in this chapter, she wants two kids! And yes, it is Artemis, I haven't really had the opportunity to make that clear in this story so I'm just gonna have to confirm it here, sorry about that.**

 **To BrittStar1199, I really hope for both too! That they don't happen, I mean, I hope they _don't_ happen. **

**To Assbitch67, woooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, if I cared much for football I'd be offended. But no, lol, I was celebrating that I have a home again lol. Jealous!Steve should appear in chapter 82 (disclaimer: sometimes my plans change and chapters can be added or deleted, so it might not be chapter 82, but it will most likely be chapter 82). And wow, thank you so much, that's one hell of a compliment and you saying that makes me feel very proud of myself so thank you. Also, Ally the Assbitch67? Catchy name.**

 **And a big beautiful thank you to everyone that read, reviews are great motivators so feel free to leave one but ya don't have to, I love you all the same and I'm grateful for you just giving me the time of day. I do have a question though, what is your guys ideal ending for Amelia and Steve? Is it what she said, or something else?**


	80. Chapter Seventy-Six

**CHAPTER SEVENTY-SIX**

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" _The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realise that the situation is over, you cannot move forward"_

― _**Steve Maraboli**_

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The rest of the flight to Bucharest went quickly. Or, it did for Amelia and Steve, for Sam he was so bored the entirety of the flight that it passed by far too slowly, whereas the couple found some way to amuse themselves enough that time itself became obsolete. They immediately traveled over to Bucky's apparent apartment, stopping momentarily in a hotel close by so that they could drop off their bags and change into their suits. They didn't have with them large suitcases, only one bag each, enough to fit in everything they needed for their mission.

Sam split from the group after they'd all changed, going over to the rooftops beside Bucky's apartment so that he could supply Steve and Amelia with an aerial view, as well as keep an eye out for any police or army officers that were also going to try and make a move on Bucky. Sharon had warned them that they would be soon.

"I think that you should go with Sam," Steve suggested, watching Amelia carefully as she finished putting on her suit. It had clearly been used plenty, for both training and missions, leaving it almost as scarred as the girl wearing it. The girl hummed in response to Steve, clearly not entirely hearing what he was saying as she finished pulling her pants over her toned legs. "You should go with Sam, not me," he repeated, knowing full well that she'd ignored what he'd first said because if she did then she'd have reacted.

She confirmed his assumption because after the second time he gave his suggestion (though it was more of an order) Amelia swiftly turned to face him, a clear expression of appalled carved onto her face, making it look sharper than usual. And scary, even for the super soldier. "What?" She scoffed, matching her facial features with the sharpness in her tone.

"I think you'd be more helpful if you went with Sam instead of me," he began to argue, "I'm Bucky's friend, and you'd just remind him of Hydra, so I think I should go alone."

"No," was her swift retort, finality straightening her voice. The brunette turned back around and began to put her knives into the six pockets which she had on her pants. She placed them in aggressively, showing the soldier that she was clearly upset with him for trying to split them up. They were meant to be a team that did everything together.

But not that, he couldn't have her with him then, he couldn't risk her finding out that Bucky was the one who killed her parents.

"I don't want you on this Amelia," he used her full name, a sign that he was being completely serious. But the psychic continued to ignore him and once she was done placing the knives in their appropriate sockets, the brunette walked over to the main door. "Where are you going?"

"To Bucky's apartment _with_ you," she responded easily, as though it wasn't a big deal, and if it weren't for the way she'd emphasized the 'with' then she would have almost convinced him that she hadn't heard a single word he'd said.

As she opened the door to their hotel room the soldier charged forward, slamming it back shut, "Amelia-"

"Steven," she interrupted, both childish and petty but it wasn't unexpected to the soldier. That's how most of their arguments went, someone would make a point, and Amelia would reveal just how childish she could be. The girl had grown up far too quickly, and she'd finally been given the freedom to be the kid she never could be, but sometimes she'd choose the wrong time to be that child.

It was more agitating to Steve that he couldn't even explain to her why he didn't want her to go on the mission. He was still trying to figure out how he was going to help Bucky without having Amelia find out what he'd done. Of course he'd thought about telling his lover the truth, but she'd already shown him her hostility towards whoever put her in Hydra's hands and he needed to keep her from attacking Bucky whilst he was still sensitive.

Steve was hoping that, perhaps, when everything with the accords and with Bucky was over, then they'd be able to have a civil conversation with her about it.

What he didn't realise was the reason Amelia was so adamant about going with him for was also agitating her. She was having doubts, and she'd never felt those towards Steve before. She'd thought after Peggy's funeral that standing by her man's side concerning the accords was the right thing to do, but with Bucky resurfacing, she knew that it would be having an effect on Steve and clouding his judgment. Amelia was worried that he'd let things lead to a fight because of Bucky's part.

The ex-Hydra agent was a wanted felon and that would already cast a shadow over their intentions because they'd be fraternizing with that felon. Amelia felt that she needed to be there in order to try and keep the peace between Steve and the rest of the Avengers who wouldn't be able to see that all the soldier was trying to do was protect his best friend, much like how he'd protected her when everyone else thought she'd turned to the dark side thanks to Rebecca.

"You're not going with me on this," he told her, trying to be firm without crossing some invisible line. He wasn't even sure where the line was anymore between them, disagreements had become so frequent and it was unsettling them both. But still they tried to just go back to the way things used to be, thinking that was where they'd be able to fix their relationship.

Again, just as headstrong as Steve, the brunette shook her head, her wavy earth brown hair bouncing like ferocious ocean waves as she did so. "Let's skip this whole argument and just settle on the fact that I _am_ going with you," Amelia turned the handle on the door again but it wouldn't budge that time, the soldier using his superhuman strength to keep it sealed shut.

"I'm your leader, and I'm telling you we're not going."

Amelia didn't have a response at first, not because he had a point though, but because what he'd said had shocked her and caused the hairs on her arms to bristle, the hairs feeling more like thorns. She slowly turned to face him, looking him completely in the eyes, they didn't make her feel calm. They made her angrier in fact, their pure blueness and that one freckle of green agitating her.

"No, you're not," the ice in her tone matched the cold expression which glared back at Steve, making him realize his folly. "This is a relationship, a partnership between two people, I am not your soldier and you are _not_ the boss of me." No one was, no one ever would be, never again. "I have my own free will, I am allowed to make my own decisions, and my decision is that I am coming with you." In some ways, Amelia was saying that to remind herself, because it was easy to forget sometimes when she'd lived her entire life up until meeting Steve simply awaiting orders and commands.

He realized that was how she'd taken his words, and Steve wanted to comfort her, wanted to tell her that he knew she was her own person, not a weapon, not a tool, just a human being. But he was agitated, mostly at the fact that they were having another disagreement rather than the argument itself, so instead of comforting her, he sent her back a blank stare and kept his lips tightly shut.

Amelia found it much easier to notice her unwarranted behavior unlike the soldier, far too used to checking herself to make sure she wasn't some villain, as well as being so critical of herself that she struggled to label herself as anything else. In the end, Amelia concluded that all she'd done was become her biggest fear: a burden.

A sigh passed through her lips as the brunette looked away from Steve, facing the door once again. "If Bucky blew up that building, then that could mean he's still on the dark side. He's your weak spot, so I need to be there to protect you in case things go south." It was partially the truth. Amelia had omitted enough so that she wouldn't have to share with him the doubts she'd been feeling towards how seriously he was taking the accords and how much consideration he was actually putting on them.

Neither of them apologized. They rarely ever did. All they would do was wish to go back to nicer days, like their first date.

Steve sighed too, his hand finally falling away from the door, a sign of relinquishment as he finally saw her actions as more caring than rebellious, though he still wasn't entirely happy that she wasn't listening to his orders.

"You guys know we're a little short on time here, right?" Sam's lighthearted voice sounded through the comms, the pilot having clearly heard their quarrel and thankfully chosen a time when they weren't so snappy to make his point clear.

"Yeah, sorry," Steve responded as Amelia bit her lip, turning back to his lover, the soldier raised up his finger and directed it towards her. "You can come with me," he began to bargain, "but you need to stay outside."

"If I hear any sound of a struggle, I come in," she raised her own finger and touched the tip of Steve's.

"Deal," he returned the prod of her finger with his own and then they both simultaneously nodded, agreeing with one another on the contents of their agreement.

As a small show of amity between the pair, before departing the rest of the way to Bucky's apartment, they pressed a curt kiss against one another's lips. It had become a sort of ritual between the pair before missions to always kiss each other, starting when they went to Sokovia for their final battle with Ultron. It was their own way of stating 'you better come back from this alive', 'don't be an idiot' and 'I love you' without forcing them to say the words. In times like that, when their annoyance was louder than their care for one another, that little kiss came in quite handy. Letting them know that despite the argument, they still cared.

And in a lot of ways that kiss brought Amelia a lot of comfort. It was hard for her to know whether an argument would end a relationship, growing up arguments always led to the pit or some form of punishment so the brunette would always become terrified when having an argument with Steve. But she knew that as long as he gave her that small kiss on the lips before a mission, that they were _okay_.

It took them a ten-minute walk to reach Bucky's apartment, only because the pair had to take alleyway routes to keep themselves from being spotted by anyone. The last thing they needed was to raise suspicion, and walking around in red, white and blue costumes, carrying out large shields, would all definitely have people looking.

The building they were aiming for was average looking from the outside, fitting in with the city and not drawing a single eye which she suspected was what Bucky wanted. The inside of the building didn't match the outside at all, whilst the outside was at least partially clean, the inside had walls stained grey with litter covering the most of the bottom floor. The staircase they had to climb was small and the rail seemed to squeak every time Amelia touched it, the brunette glad she was wearing gloves as she was sure that there were plenty of diseases she'd be able to gain through touching it. The used condoms she kept spotting on the ground were a testimony to that.

Together the pair made it to Bucky's apartment in under a minute, both of them rushing up the stairs to find his home. They exchanged a silent conversation, Amelia taking out her gun as she moved to stand guard by the door but the soldier put his hand on top of the gun and forced her to lower it. She sent him a frustrated look, she wasn't actually going to do anything with the gun it was just there to bring Bucky motivation when it came to compliance.

She pulled out a knife instead, showing it to Steve and raising both of her eyebrows, trying to tell him that she demanded they still have some form of protection. Of course the ex-assassin could quite easily use the knife in many deadly ways, but in that situation, it was only there as an 'in case'. Steve seemed to understand at least so he nodded, eyes roaming back towards the door.

The super soldier actually felt quite nervous. There it was, the home of his best friend who Steve had once thought was lost because of Hydra. God, the soldier _really_ hated Hydra, but in some ways he couldn't help but feel quite grateful. Not to Hydra. Never to Hydra. But Steve was simply grateful that despite their best efforts to spread darkness, so many good things had come from the organizations mistakes. Like Amelia, and then Bucky.

Looking over to his lover, she was watching the door with a hardened gaze, one hand already raised and the other was lowered to the floor with the knife locked in her grasp so she could reach any attackers legs to immobilize them.

He nodded to her, letting her know that he was about to open the door and she nodded back to let him know she was ready for any surprises that might reveal themselves. They both took in three deep breaths, keeping their heart rate calm and neutral.

And then Steve used his shield to break the lock on the door and opened it. Both rushed in, making sure not to give whoever might be inside enough time to grab a weapon of their own or try to make a run for it which is what both of them _hoped_ Bucky would try to do. It'd be the best case scenario for Amelia at least, she didn't expect Bucky to instantly trust them as friends. People didn't go through Hydra and at the end believe that friends were still a possibility.

The room they entered was just as bad as some of the places her and Steve had stayed in during their year abroad in Europe. There were very few pieces of furniture thrown around the dingy studio, the kitchen was barely actually a kitchen, including a fridge that didn't seem to be working and a cooker that looked about a hundred years old, that, or just very _very_ dirty. There was a microwave on top of one of the sides which had clearly been used more than anything else, and from the lack of plates in the sink Amelia could easily guess what kinds of foods Bucky had been eating. The horrible, microwave-able kind. It made her decide that once things were over she would definitely cook Bucky a nice, fresh meal, he'd deserve it after everything with Hydra. That was only if Bucky was actually Bucky though, and not the Winter Soldier.

"Go wait outside," he told her once both of them were sure that there was no one else in the room.

Amelia made no move to leave, her eyes still roaming around the room and analyzing everything. There was a worn mattress on the floor which made her wonder how long he'd been staying in Bucharest. Could he have been there even whilst the trio had been looking for him?

"If I go stand outside, Bucky will see me and run away. It's better if I just stay in here," Amelia responded as she stepped further into the kitchen, being sure to avoid Steve's gaze. She'd somehow managed to win the argument despite their earlier deal, getting her own way in the end, she was in the apartment with Steve, protecting him.

Steve sent her a pointed look that went unnoticed by her as she found a notebook on top of the fridge, there were two breakfast bars at the top of it which she wiped off, giving the notebook a closer inspection. Sticking out from different pages were tabs of varying colour though the brunette wasn't able to crack the code of what they could mean. She had her suspicions, but there was no way of completely knowing without Bucky being there to tell her. There were a few scribbles inside of it, scrawlings that looked messy to her. On one page there was a note that read 'toy dog' and it had been circled, as though it were important. Ignoring that - as the words had very little meaning to her - she read through further, finding inside of it a picture of Steve.

The brunette held it up, showing it to Steve who immediately reached out and took it from her fingers. It was a picture from his museum, which meant Bucky had gone there. Why, if not to research the soldier and find out more about him and his past, a past which Bucky was included in. The picture gave him hope.

"Heads up, Cap. German Special Forces, approaching from the south," Sam revealed in the comms.

"Understood," Steve responded. They were being pressed for time, that wasn't good, they still needed to find Bucky and try to talk to him. Both Amelia and Steve knew it was important that he be the one to talk to the ex-Hydra agent, and having the German Special Forces there would make that a little bit more difficult.

Just as they started to feel the pressure of the situation weigh down on their shoulders, both of them sensed the extra presence in that room. Bucky was there.

Steve turned to look at his old friend, which meant the soldier didn't witness the way Amelia stopped breathing as her eyes fell on the Winter Soldier. No, he wasn't her executioner anymore, she had to remember that. But it was difficult.

"Do you know me?" Steve was speaking to Bucky the same way he would speak to Amelia whenever she was on edge, trying to be soft with the man, as though the assassin wasn't made out of a thousand blades meant only for killing. There was nothing soft about him, just like there was nothing soft about Amelia. That thought didn't make her feel any safer. In fact, it made her panic louder, like a drumbeat in her ears, a call to war.

Bucky remained silent for a moment, eyes watching the soldier, analyzing him. And then they fell on Amelia, and for a short second confusion seemed to flash on his face.

Oh, Amelia mused, he hadn't been expecting to see her. Did that mean he still thought she was a tool for Hydra? If that was true, then Steve was right to tell her to hide away from him, Bucky wasn't going to tell them anything whilst she was there.

"You're Steve, I read about you in a museum," Bucky kept his words short and direct, only willing to give away the fact that he didn't know the soldier. The problem was that neither Steve nor Amelia believed him.

"And me?" Amelia didn't know why she asked the question, perhaps it was just another performance of self-destruction, or maybe through asking the question she'd be able to know whether he was the Winter Soldier, her executioner, or Bucky Barnes. She decided she preferred the latter option, but Amelia couldn't ignore that first one as regret pierced her ribs, making it difficult to breathe.

Oxygen seemed to stop entirely as Bucky looked at her, and it was strange, but Amelia genuinely felt like it was the first time he was _looking_ at her. The Winter Soldier, watched her, analyses her, targeted her. But the man before her, he was seeing her.

"I know you as well as I know myself," he eventually answered, voice quiet, the words barely slipping through whatever defense he'd created whilst facing the soldier and the brunette.

What did that mean? That he knew she was a killer, a monster, as much a blood-soaked weapon as he was? Did it mean that he knew she was broken, a lost little boat being swallowed by blue as empty skies and empty seas surrounded it? Did it mean that he just didn't know who she was, that he couldn't yet see the difference between AS09 and Amelia, just like how he couldn't really tell the difference between Bucky and the Winter Soldier?

"They've set the perimeter," Sam explained, reminding them of their ever shortening time frame to talk to Bucky. The Winter Soldier's very presence had her on edge, and knowing that at any given moment they would be attacked had her trading the knife in her hand for the gun. She knew Steve didn't want her to use it, but the girl felt on edge, every nerve in her body fired up and blaring out alarm bells because she was in a room with _him_ , and whilst she'd managed to kick most of the traits and habits Hydra downloaded into her, Amelia had yet to face the fight and kill reflex that sang like a thousand screeching sirens when the Winter Soldier was in the room.

Amelia had thought she'd be okay seeing the Winter Soldier again, but that was just incredibly naive of her to think.

"I know you're nervous, and you have plenty of reason to be," Steve placed down the notebook, turning to face Amelia for a moment, knowing he needed to be worried about her too. She didn't look back at him, her gaze trained perfectly on the Winter Soldier. Steve turned back to face Bucky, "but you're lying."

Bucky didn't respond to Steve's thoughts, not wanting to confirm or deny anything because he simply couldn't trust the soldier. He knew that Steve worked for the Avengers, and after everything that he'd been accused of, it made sense for Steve to be coming after him. The government could be using Bucky's link with Steve in hopes it will make the ex-Hydra agent give himself up, but the last thing Bucky wanted to do was put himself back into someone else's hands. He was done with that sort of lifestyle.

He remembered Amelia. Bucky couldn't stop looking at the brunette because she was his one clear memory that he had no doubts about. That scared him most, because he remembered every dark deed she'd done, and he also remembered that she hadn't been mind controlled like him. That made him even more distrustful of the ex-Hydra agent.

"I wasn't in Vienna, I don't do that anymore."

Amelia believed him. It was weird, considering every time she looked at Bucky she saw images of dark rooms and broken bones, but she still believed him when he said that he didn't do it anymore.

"They're entering the building," Sam called again, making Steve become panicked.

They were running out of time and he needed to make sure Bucky came with him, it was the only way the soldier would be able to keep his best friend safe. "Well, the people who think you did are coming here now, and they're not planning on taking you alive," Steve rushed the words out, wishing he had more time so he could pick his words more carefully.

"That's smart, good strategy," Bucky replied, voice tight. He was scared of himself, just like Amelia was.

The brunette felt the black power vibrate beneath her skin.

"They're on the roof, I'm compromised." They could all hear the sounds of footsteps seemingly coming from every angle, up the stairs, on the roof.

"Shit," Amelia hissed, cocking her gun and going to stand near a window that had been covered in newspapers.

"This doesn't have to end in a fight, Buck," Steve urged.

"It always ends in a fight."

"5 seconds," Sam told them.

Amelia wanted to say to Bucky that it didn't, that she understood his point of view and that she'd gotten through it. Steve even looked at her, hoping she'd share some of her wisdom with his friend because they really were one in the same. But the brunette couldn't. She just couldn't. Amelia had spent so long pretending that she was okay and fine and perfectly sane, but seeing Bucky… it had brought back all the tortures she'd left behind, and she couldn't pretend to be okay, not when she was so close to the man who was always the one to throw her into the hole.

Seeing that Amelia wasn't going to be any help, he turned back to face Bucky, "you pulled us from the river, why?" He was trying to do what he did to Amelia whenever she lost control, trying to remind him that there was more than whatever was going through his friends head.

"I don't know," Bucky sighed, the lie in his words as clear as day.

"You do." It wasn't Steve who had spoken, but Amelia, surprising them all as the brunette finally seemed to find her voice, "you did it because somehow, somewhere within all those broken pieces that Hydra made inside of you, you found a little spark, something impossible, something that should never have been able to live inside of your darkness. A memory, right? Of Steve, after his mother's funeral. It terrifies you, because you're not meant to be able to care about people, but that memory was there, that emotion was there." She'd seen it, before they fell into the river, when she touched Bucky she saw that memory and felt that emotion. When she'd awoken in the hospital afterward, Amelia had truly thought that she'd dreamt it up, but after some time she'd figured it out.

Bucky stared at her, and it was a bit easier for Amelia to read his expression then as he looked at her, not as experiment AS09, but as someone like him. Someone that could possibly understand. The ex-Hydra agent parted his lips, words settling on the tip of his tongue.

Sam began to scream 'breach' into the comms as a grenade was thrown into the window, Amelia immediately knocked one away, wrapping it in enough veils of white to contain the small explosion emitted from it. Another was thrown through the window closest to Bucky but he knocked it away, making it go over to Steve who quickly covered it up with his shield, containing the explosion which barely did any damage to his vibranium shield.

German screams could be heard from outside the door and seconds later a battering ram was being thrown against it, Amelia moved over to the table and surrounded it in her white power as she pushed it forward, lodging it between the wall and the door, buying them some time.

Shots could be heard from the window to Amelia's right side, and for a second she thought she'd just made a great mistake by jumping into the line of fire but Bucky lifted up his mattress, creating somewhat of a shield for the both of them. He looked over to her, expecting gratefulness but her eyes were trained on him with something else, something much easier for the ex-Hydra agent to recognize.

A soldier suddenly crashed through the kitchen window, gun already trained on the first target which Steve just so happened to be, unluckily for the agent. Cap pulled the carpet from under the soldier's foot just as another soldier crashed through closer to Bucky. He discarded the mattress and clocked the soldier right in the face before throwing him over to Amelia, using the soldier to distract her whilst he tried to make his escape.

Through the back door leading into his kitchen another soldier arrived, but as Steve managed to grab that soldier's gun, Bucky threw a kick his way, knocking the soldier back.

"Buck, stop!" Steve yelled, trying to grab a hold of his friend, "you're gonna kill someone."

Even Amelia felt Bucky's pain then, far too used to hearing those doubts aimed at herself. She could easily see it from the way Bucky had been living that he was only trying to have a quiet life, there weren't any weapons around, only his arm that he couldn't really get rid of. Maybe it was because of her own experience, but she felt no doubts towards the ex-Hydra agents intentions. All of her contempt for the man simply came from their shared past, and even then, all the hatred was directed to herself because she couldn't stop letting darkness get to her.

The brunette rushed to finish up with the soldier that was struggling to aim his gun at her, white like handcuffs wrapped around his hands and kept the gun aimed only at the floor. She threw a few more hits at his face as beside her Bucky lifted up Steve and sent him crashing down to the floor. "I'm not gonna kill anyone," she heard him mumble as he brought his fist down far too close to her lovers head. It had been on purpose though it seemed as he pulled from the ground a backpack.

Finally done with the soldier, she ran over to Steve, going to her knees and inspecting to make sure he was unharmed whilst Bucky moved away from the two, eyeing the way she interacted with him for only a second before throwing his backpack out of the door and away from their building. From behind them, Amelia heard a scuffle and she noticed a soldier entering through the window and aiming his gun at them just as Steve jumped up and pulled her along with him so that he could keep her behind the shield, also moving it in front of Bucky to protect him as well.

Bucky didn't seem to agree with the protection though as he forced Steve back, her lover's hold on her shirt making her also be pulled away from Bucky but only Steve was the one who threw himself out of the window against another soldier that had appeared to shoot at them.

After quickly checking that Steve was okay, she moved to make sure that Bucky was protected, her lack of time to think over her actions a good thing as if she really thought about what she was doing than Amelia didn't think she'd have protected Bucky at all. She threw a forcefield around him as he moved over to the shooting soldier, grabbing a hold of the soldier's neck and then shoving him against the shelves in his room. The soldier Amelia had previously taken care of decided to get up and have another go at fighting the fugitive but Amelia just sent him flying backward into the bathroom of Bucky's home. Again Bucky looked at her and nodded, trying to be a good sport and at least show some appreciation to her, and it was that look in her eyes again that made him realize that whether he thanked her or not, she would still feel a certain way towards him.

Trying not to dwell on it, Bucky finally made his escape from the room. Seemingly surprisingly all the soldier's outside of his room as he threw his metal fist thru one wall and then bashed open the door, knocking some soldiers back but there were more waiting on the staircase for him to fight.

"Steve!" Amelia raced over to her own soldier, helping him as he stepped through the window.

"I'm okay, you?" He asked quickly, already beginning to speed out of the apartment.

She'd been better, but she couldn't exactly tell him that, so she didn't bother responding to his question at all as she didn't like lying to his face. They made it outside of the apartment and saw that Bucky had managed to take out quite a number of agents, leaving one that was on the radio reporting on where the ex-Hydra agent was. Steve quickly took the walkie-talkie out of the soldier's hand, crushing it and then jumping down a few flights of stairs so that he could make it to Bucky faster.

Amelia strayed for a moment, deciding she'd take out some of the spare few soldiers that could later end up being a problem as the more soldier's there were, the harder it was for them to reach Bucky.

She still kept her eye out on the fight below her, making sure that she'd be aware whenever Steve needed her.

From a stair flight below her, Bucky repeatedly punched the soldiers, accidentally knocking one over the railing which Steve managed to catch, stopping the soldier from falling to his doom. "Come on, man," Steve sighed, eyeing Bucky warily who just shrugged and continued his fighting.

Steve threw the cop back up onto the landing as Bucky broke the banister and swung his way down on it, getting further away from Steve and Amelia saw that her soldier was too busy trying to fight off the leftover soldier's to get to Bucky in time. He was trying, but just as he managed to reach his best friend again, Bucky jumped off the stairwell once again, grabbing onto a rail further down, releasing a scream as his limbs became strained.

Once again not putting much thought into what she was doing, into what she was putting herself through, Amelia jumped off the balcony herself and floated down to where Bucky was, easily slipping back onto the stairwell and managing to catch up with the escaping ex-Hydra agent. She reached out with her hand and grabbed a hold of his jacket, trying to pull him back and stop him from escaping.

Bucky thought she was just another soldier so he immediately went on the offense, spinning around and swinging his metal arm as he did so, pinning her to a wall.

Amelia screamed, and winced, and shook. It was something she'd never done before, not since her last duel with the Winter Soldier during a training match. They were never really for training, they were far too dangerous to just be for training, any one of them could have left her for dead. And the brunette was reminded of every dark, sinister, second as Bucky pinned her to the wall with his metal arm shoved against her throat, cutting off her oxygen.

He seemed to realize what he'd done, eyes widening and he immediately dropped his arm, Amelia falling to the floor once he had done.

She wasn't even in that hallway anymore, her mind transported back to all the minutes of torture she'd had to endure because of _him_. But she heard him as he whispered: "You're still scared of me." He wasn't saying it to show off, or to discourage her, no, Bucky said those words sadly, shame dripping from every syllable. But she couldn't tell who he felt sorrier for, her, or himself. She heard his feet as he began to run away, and then the sound of him jumping over the side of the building, far away from her.

She'd failed her mission but that didn't matter because she'd failed at so much more.

Amelia couldn't breathe anymore. She could hear the sound of her sweat falling against the training room floor, or was that more blood? She could hear the snap of her bones as Bucky broke them. She could smell the fear on her, the most pungent, grotesque, smell of them all and in his presence it was unavoidable.

She couldn't breathe. _She couldn't breathe._ She wasn't okay. Fuck, she never had been okay.

A hand touched her knee, familiar and warm, but she pushed it away. Steve. It was Steve, he was speaking to her as well but she couldn't make out what he was saying, her heart was louder than anything, the beats quaking with fear, off tune like a violin with a broken string. Broken. She was broken.

"Amelia!" Was that what he was saying? Calling her name. No, he needed to be calling for Bucky. Going after Bucky. She was being a burden.

That's right, the mission, she remembered it. They were on a mission. "Go," she told him, or she hoped she did. There was a moment where Steve made no sound, clearly incapable of deciding whether to go after his best friend or stay with his lover so she forced a smile on her face. It was tight. Too tight. Like the way the Winter Soldier's hands had felt around her throat. Around her bones as he bent her limbs too far, breaking the bones inside. Broken, she was broken.

"Go after him," she said again, teeth bared, "I'll be fine." Fine. Fine. Fine. That word. Fine, what did it mean anymore? Amelia thought she was fine, but it was so clear that she wasn't. Had she ever been fine?

Maybe. Before Rebecca and Aaron, maybe. Before Ultron, maybe. No. It was that day, their first date under the white gazebo, that was when she was fine. More than fine actually. She was alive then.

"Sam," she heard Steve call. That's right, Sam, they were with Sam.

No, she wasn't. No. She was in the training room. In the cage. Locked inside of it with the Winter Soldier. A monster. She was facing a monster. She was scared of monsters.

"Come get Amelia, I'm going after Bucky."

He left her then. Steve left her there for Bucky, he chose Bucky. But she couldn't hate him for that. Bucky was there before her, and Bucky would be there long after her.

Broken. That's what she was, broken. Nobody wanted broken.

* * *

 **A/N: As expected some chapters have been split up so if I've promised any of you a certain thing is gonna happen in a certain chapter, let me know so I can correct myself! How are things going with you guys anyway? I know I'm not updating regularly, I'm trying to get writing in anywhere I can but moving from one house, then to another, in the space of two weeks is very difficult. But I've been thinking up some exciting stuff, not necessarily for this part either.**

 **To Guest, I understood that reference!**

 **To daydreamer06980, ohmygodthankyousomuch, it's always so exciting for me seeing new readers and your words are so kind like I hope you enjoy the rest of the story as much as you have all the previous chapters. And interesting theory, but that would mean the unnamed baby would be dead and not her, so... also this made me think up a super interesting idea (that I'm probably not gonna go with) but what if I just surprised everyone by having Amelia go loco and killing all her friends and family. That would certainly be a surprise ending that I'm definitely evil enough to write. But your review was so nice I don't think I could do that to you!**

 **To paulavara140, thank you! I'm so happy that you're enjoying it, honestly I'm genuinely surprised with how much people have enjoyed this story, it started out as a side project where I was just trying out writing an "evil" character as the protagonist. I don't put all that much faith in my writing capabilities so hearing your comment and all the others has really made me believe in myself. So yeah, thank you!**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, I enjoy filling in the space between movie scenes just to add more character and moments. I wish I'd planned more for when Steve, Amelia, Bucky and Sam are in the car together driving to the airport but I couldn't really think up much. I'm sure I'll think of stuff after I've finished part four, that always happens with me. Amelia doesn't necessarily open up to Sam but we do see more interactions between the two of them and I've really enjoyed writing up their interactions ^^ and yus, I'd love to see it.**

 **To LoveFiction2018, that winky face had me cackling, I'm glad you enjoyed it! Oh, and also, I've been reading a few Star Trek fanfictions lately and I keep seeing your comments, could you recommend me some good ones? Sorry if this is random!**

 **To Faora, I was unsure whether it really fit into Steve's character but I've always believed that Cap had a bit more deviousness in him that people rarely got to see**

 **To Assbitch67, glad to have you here! Writing that little fantasy was honestly one of my favourite things to write, I don't know why, probably because it's a concept I myself want. I mean who wouldn't want a farm house with Steve Rogers? I mean, I'll settle for Chris Evans as well. And lol, I'm so surprised with how happy people are about them joining the mile high club. Nat taught Amelia a lot of stuff that she didn't really need to know, but hey ho, she managed to make use of one snippet of information. Too bad she didn't listen to Nat about always using protection tho.**

 **To BrittStar1199, Steve is also a dirty freaky bitch, let us not forget the part he played ;) But also, yes, she is my dirty freaky bitch child and I love her. And yeah, Steve's had plenty of experience with jealousy so it made sense for him to catch onto it.**

 **To Sam0728, lolol glad you enjoyed the chapter so much**

 **To Pitspee, AGREED! Steve is a kinky son of a bitch and we all know it. He definitely tells her to keep the leather jacket on as well. And though Mia might not have a bucket list written down, she's definitely got one in her head, she's still figuring out what she wants to try from all the things Nat told her about because some were just nasty (anal). And I think Steve would totally break an entier building, I'm sure the man would split the earth if he saw someone touching his girl inappropriately. If part four ends in a particular way, and if you do get a part five, then we'll definitely get a boat load of confident Amelia.**

 **To AngelElmarlienHenning, hmmm I'd say shocking way?**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, we've still got that scene where Sharon kisses Steve so there is the possibility of the jealousy coming back. And of course Steve follows Mia, he can't resist her. In regards to the brotherly/sisterly love I am 100% down for that, honestly I want to write a chapter just around them two and their interactions together, I feel like I've been skipping past it so maybe in the future?**

 **And a big thank you to everyone that read the chapter!**


	81. Chapter Seventy-Seven

**CHAPTER SEVENTY-SEVEN**

* * *

" _We are products of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it."_

― _**Rick Warren**_

* * *

The cage was darkly lit, enough dull electrical lights placed on the outside of the cage so that lines of shadows formed over the ground. A constant reminder of where Amelia- No, where AS09 was. Across from her stood her enemy. Unharmed. Unaffected. The Winter Soldier sent her a cold gaze, eyes trained on only her because she was his only mission.

Fight. That was his orders, and AS09's too. They were to fight until Amelia would finally defeat him.

She couldn't actually remember how long she'd been fighting him, it felt like days, maybe it was days. She was sweaty, covered in layers of it, that and dirt and blood. There was so much blood. It covered her arms, her fingertips. What the fifteen-year-old didn't know was that in a few short months her hands would be covered in more blood than she'd ever be able to handle. She wasn't ready for the field though, not yet. First, she needed to defeat the Winter Soldier. Maybe if she knew of the horrors that awaited her outside then she wouldn't have tried so hard to defeat the Winter Soldier.

She didn't want to just defeat him though. For the first time ever, AS09 wanted purely to kill the man before her. Not torture him. Not make him bleed. Not make suffer. She wanted to rid his presence from the planet because out of everyone in that room he'd caused her the most physical pain.

"Again," Pierce ordered from outside of the cage. AS09 had no idea where he was among the crowd surrounding the cage, all she ever saw were eyes. That seemed to be a theme when it came to her and boxes, there were always eyes hidden in the shadow, the doorways to the soul, showing only malice towards her.

Like a wild animal she roared, no calmness shown on an inch of the small girl as she charged towards the Winter Soldier again. Her arms flailed, one moving at an awkward angle, clearly broken. AS09 felt it all. All the broken bones, all the cuts, all the bruises. She felt every single bit of pain placed on her by the Winter Soldier.

Die. Die. Die. Please, just die. Those were the only thoughts going through her head as she attacked the Winter Soldier, throwing her hand against his body. There was no tactic in her movements as she just screamed and threw her claws down on him. There was no humanity left in the small child.

Broken. She was broken.

It wasn't fair. The child knew that much. _It wasn't fair_.

The Winter Soldier easily overpowered her, grabbing her by the throat with his metal hand and slamming her down on the floor. She felt another rib break but there was no searing pain, she was already going through so much of it that the brunette was incapable of knowing if there were any more additions. The second his grip loosened she shuffled away, crawling on all fours to the other side of the cage where she momentarily nursed her wounds like an injured wolf would.

"Again." The monotone voice ordered, and with it, she charged forward again. There was no sense in her mind anymore, just the blood that she craved from her enemy. She needed it to feel alive, just like how her father taught her. The blood, the _death_ , that was the only thing which would ever be able to ease her pain.

"Amelia," the soft word looked like it came from the Winter Soldier and it had the child halting. Who was Amelia? "Amelia, snap out of it." That's right, she was Amelia. Before AS09. And after… there was an after.

Amelia didn't belong in that cage, the very thought revolted her. Get out, she told herself, get out!

Her eyes snapped open and she lifted her head from her shaking hands, the pain disappearing from her body as she looked at Sam, giving him a sight he never thought he'd see, something he never wanted to see. She was a broken mess cradling herself on the ground, tears and snot falling freely as her hands shook violently with a black mist surrounding them. Her brown eyes were child-like in their size, sparkling with terror as she looked up to the pilot. Broken, she was simply broken.

"Amelia," he raised up his hands as though he was trying to calm her, "you need to control your powers." Sam looked down at her with equal fear though he was trying to mask it.

Confused, the brunette looked over to her hands, noticing the flames of black licking her skin, and then she noticed that around where she was sat, the walls and floor had begun to decay, turning into nothing and leaving a strange mark on the ground. It was like a meteor had crash landed on that exact spot.

"I- I'm fine," she didn't even know she was going to say the words, they just fell out automatically. Amelia was running on autopilot at that moment, and her default had somehow become to just pretend like there was nothing wrong with her. She shook her hands on purpose, flicking the black away from her until her hands were free of their burden. "See?" Amelia held them up for Sam to see, but he wasn't even looking at her hands, he was looking into her eyes. Why did he still look so scared? No, Amelia realised it was something else. He looked sad… sad for her? But why, when she was fine?

Amelia tried to stand up from the floor but her knees buckled beneath her, Sam quickly moving to put his arm underneath her and help her until she got balanced again. She'd never lose her balance though, her legs were just shaking so much that it was hard to stand on them.

"You should sit the rest of this mission out, I don't care what you say Frecks, you're not fine," Sam's tone was persistent but she shook her head and forced a tight, toothy smile onto her lips.

She rolled her eyes at his concern, finding it far too easy to slip the mask back on. It was easier to do that than it was to forget the dark memories. "Momentary breakdown, but I'm fine. I'm over it. Perfectly fine."

Sam seemed to hear something over the comms, Amelia was sure she heard something too, but all she could really hear was the pounding of her heart still. He looked worried, and that look only deepened when he stared at Amelia again. "Take a break, I need to go to Steve, but I don't think it's safe for you to be on the field. Got it?"

"Sure, got it," the falsity in her voice was so obvious but Sam didn't have the time to dwell on it whilst they were in the middle of a mission.

They never had the time for Amelia's underlying issues, it seemed. She didn't mind so much, it was what she wanted, to not be a burden. But there was another part of her that felt like if maybe they just had a minute to talk about her issues, then maybe she could really be okay again, but… they never seemed to have the time to do so.

They were always on a mission, always in a fight, always doing _something_. It wasn't the life Amelia wanted anymore, she wanted her little farmhouse with Steve, but she wasn't so sure that it was what her lover wanted. He fit so well into all the fights, so well into the role of the soldier, and Amelia was starting to see that it was a role Steve _wanted_. He'd gotten to pick that role, whereas Amelia never got a choice in her life.

Perhaps it wasn't a good thing, but Amelia did not have the time to dwell on those thoughts because as soon as Sam had left her side to go assist Steve, she'd run back over to the stairwell of the building, returning to the mission.

It wasn't a life she wanted, but it was the life she had, and Amelia believed that because Steve was in it that her introverted distaste wouldn't become a problem.

But it was _already a problem_. Amelia was constantly pushing herself to a breaking point, just like then, all so that she could keep up with the soldier lifestyle that Steve had chosen. She never dared to share her inner demons anymore, because those inner demons had already gotten in the way of Steve's lifestyle so much that she couldn't bear to do it anymore. After Pierce, after Rebecca and Aaron, she'd done enough damage to a multitude of people's lives. Maybe that was also why she'd chosen to side with Steve when it came to the accords, because she was just trying to make up for not being good enough to fit into his life.

She made it to the ground floor in no time and left to the outside, there were a couple of soldiers waiting for her but she just sent a blast of energy there way to push them back and disorient her enough so that she could make a quick escape. What Amelia hadn't expected was for the energy pulsing from her fingertips to be black. The brunette looked down to her own fingertips in wide-eyed alarm, shaking them as though it would rid herself of the dark energy swimming in her veins. Trying again, she snapped her fingers, relieved to find white energy surround her hand that time.

Control, she had control. She was still broken, but at least she had some control over her powers.

Moving on, she ran over to the next building knowing that that was where Bucky and her soldier had escaped to. Amelia made it over to the other side of the building when she was suddenly passed by Bucky. Her heart stopped at the sight of him again but she ignored it.

The mission, that's what she needed to concentrate on. If she concentrated enough on the mission, then there would be no room for dark memories to get her again.

That was easier said than done though as following Bucky came an unexpected guest. A man, dressed in all black, looking a lot like a cat. It had her entire body stopping that time as she stared questionably to the newcomer, having to do a double take to make sure she'd seen right. Amelia wasn't sure she liked being right as her second glance only confirmed the sight once more. It was indeed someone dressed as a cat chasing after Bucky. Where the hell had he come from?

Another sound of footsteps gained her attention and she was relieved to see that it was Steve and not another person dressed up as an animal (she'd been expecting a dog next). "Is the cat friendly?" Amelia asked as she began to run after Steve, quickly losing her lead as the super soldier ran a lot quicker than she did.

"I don't think so!" He responded, already in front of her despite her best efforts.

She watched as Bucky fell down onto the road hidden below them inside of a tunnel, the cat guy following and then Steve also jumped down. She managed to arrive at the road a minute later, floating her way down to make sure she didn't immediately jump in the way of some cars. As she was a little higher up she managed to catch sight of all three of her men being blurs, running faster than some of the cars. There was definitely no way she'd be able to catch up with them herself when on foot.

As if the very gods (or at least the German special forces) could hear the thoughts going through her head, a vehicle rushed below her, two cops falling out of it and aiming their guns up towards her. "Stand down!" They ordered, but Amelia did not listen.

Flicking her hands, she commandeered the guns in their hands, throwing them towards both of the cops heads. They immediately fell unconscious from the harsh hit, dropping the guns on the ground with their bodies soon following. "Sorry about that guys," Amelia apologised as she lowered herself onto the ground completely, stepping over one of the cops body to get into the vehicle. "Worst case scenario though, you'll have a concussion so, you know, look at the positive," the brunette wasn't sure if they could actually hear her or not and she didn't waste any time to find out, beginning to speed off, driving around the other cars in the lane so that she could reach Steve quicker.

He was lagging behind as well, just as fast as Bucky and the cat guy but not quick enough to reach them in time, Amelia wanted to make some sort of joke about how he now knew what it was like to be her when it came to missions with Steve that included running but she wasn't really in the joking mood.

Concentrate on the mission, she reminded herself, that was how she'd get through it.

In order to get her lovers attention she pressed on the car's sirens, hoping that would be enough to get his attention. When it did and Steve turned around to look at her, she waved out her arm, signaling to the other door. He slowed his running just enough so that when she stopped the car beside him he could roll over the front of the car and get in beside Amelia.

"Seatbelt," she reminded him before setting off once again, pressing down hard on what she assumed was the pedal which would make the car go faster.

"Do you even know how to drive?" Steve asked, leaning closer to the window, trying to spot where his best friend was.

Amelia simply shrugged, her eyes fixed only on the road ahead, trying to dodge any and all cars that tried to get in her way. "I know enough," she mumbled, "I think."

"That'll have to do I guess," Steve said, trying to put faith into his lover as she seemed to be doing okay so far. He'd given her driving lessons in the past and most of it seemed to have stuck, they just never got far enough to her actually getting her driving license because, well, they could just never really find the time.

The only way for Amelia to know she was doing well, was when she saw the cat guy and passed him. They were getting closer to Bucky and further away from the mysterious cat guy, or so she thought. The vehicle suddenly shook, as though an added weight had just been added to the back of it, and when she looked at the side mirror she saw that the cat guy had actually latched onto their car and was using them to carry him the rest of the way there.

"Honey," Amelia asked, tone honey sweet as she pulled the gun from her holster.

Steve made a humming sound, turning around and looking at the cat guy as well, he didn't notice Amelia taking her hands off the wheel and turning in her seat, not until she asked him to take the wheel for her. He did so in a panic, feeling the car begin to swerve violently until he grabbed the wheel and steered the car probably. Amelia was somehow managing to keep her foot on the gas pedal as she leaned her upper body outside of the window, gun aimed perfectly as the cat guy as she shot at least six bullets but they all simply ricocheted off of his suit.

Growling, she moved back inside of the car, taking over the wheel once again. "Damn suit must be made of vibranium," she noted Steve, "the bullets just flew off him."

If she couldn't get through his defenses, then that gave her one other option which was to just try and shake the cat off of her car. That was easier said than done. She threw the car from side to side, but the cat's claws were stuck in deep. "If we ever get pets, I want a dog," Amelia revealed to Steve.

"I don't think we'll have much time for pets any time soon," Steve hadn't even thought about what he said, and maybe that's why it hurt even more. The farm wasn't even a prospect in his mind, just Amelia's.

 _No!_ She demanded of herself, feeling panic rise up in her like an unwanted tide, drowning her heart. _Concentrate on the mission, that's how you'll get through this_.

So Steve didn't want to ever have a farmhouse with two kids and a dog, that didn't matter, all Amelia really needed was Steve anyway. It's fine. Everything was fine. _She_ was fine. That kind of lifestyle was a far away prospect anyway, it's not like she was pregnant. Nope. Everything was fine. She was fine.

"Sam, we can't shake this guy off our tail," Amelia said into the comms, hoping that perhaps the pilot would be able to offer some assistance, "he's a persistent bugger."

"I thought I told you to take a break," was Sam's only reply, to which she rolled her eyes.

The world would be a much easier place if everyone around her just pretended like she was okay as well. "Cause that was totally gonna happen. Just help us out, will you?"

"I'm right behind you," Sam responded, voice turning darker in tone as he was clearly upset with her but had also realised that it wasn't exactly the best time nor place to start an argument with her. He'd done his job anyway, Amelia thought bitterly, he'd gotten Steve suspicious of her and the brunette could quite easily feel the worried looks he was giving her. Burden, that's all she was, a burden.

Just as Sam had said that he was right behind them though, Amelia had looked into the side mirror and noticed the several police cars joining in with their pursuit, more cars much like the one she'd stolen gaining speed and reaching her side. She decided to try and kill two birds with one stone, swerving the car slightly so that that back of her car would hit the front of the special forces, knocking them sideways and she'd hoped that it would maybe knock the cat guy from the back of her vehicle.

"Amelia!" Steve suddenly yelled, grabbing the wheel momentarily and swerving the car so that they'd drive through a barrier rather than colliding with numerous special forces vehicles.

The brunette quickly slapped his hands away, not liking that he'd taken over for her, but also not admitting that she probably wouldn't have noticed the traffic that had been in front of them as she was too busy trying to get the persistent cat guy from the back of their vehicle.

She checked after they'd gone through the barrier to see if that collision had maybe been enough to get him away but he was still stuck to them. Deciding to avoid making her earlier mistake she did put more concentration on the road that time, knowing they'd just have to deal with the cat guy later.

By moving through the barricade they'd managed to surprise a lot of the special forces so most of the ones that had been giving chase stopped momentarily as they'd almost crashed into the wall of cars that had been waiting for Steve and Amelia. That gave her a little breathing space as she continued to chase after Bucky. They were almost there, they almost had him. But it seemed the ex-Hydra agent realised that everyone chasing him had commandeered some sort of vehicle, and he'd realised he needed one of his own.

As a motorbike sped towards Bucky, the super soldier suddenly grabbed the handlebars on it, spinning the bike around in mid-air and throwing the rider off so that he could immediately jump onto it and speed away.

"Holy fuck!" Amelia cursed, eyes widening as she saw the stunt he'd done. She was actually impressed, which was something she'd never thought she'd feel towards him but that little trick had been almost aesthetic for her to look at. She'd heard quite a bit about aesthetics on the internet but never really understood the concept, not until she saw Bucky do that stunt. Yes, that was definitely her aesthetic.

Steve seemed to notice her amazement and his eyes turned sharper as he saw the sparkling wide eyes and a large smile on her lips, it was weird, she hated him one moment and the next she was impressed by him. The girl needed to choose which side she was on.

A thought flashed through Steve's mind then. Five words that had enough power to drop his stomach: Oh no, he was jealous. But he quickly discarded that thought. Like he'd told Amelia on the plane, Steve wouldn't get jealous, he just wasn't that type of guy. Sure, in their youth he'd find himself jealous a lot whenever Bucky got the girl (sometimes the girl was actually Steve's date, which made matters worse) but Steve was an adult now. Hell, technically, he was a grandpa. He didn't get jealous.

Amelia's amazement did not deter her from continuing to speedily chase after Bucky. He sped into the lane beside them and Amelia easily followed, swerving around the exact same vehicles that Bucky did. They zoomed underneath another bypass, Sam finally joining the group as he flew into the tunnel as well.

It was a little bit more difficult for Amelia as she was in a bigger vehicle than the ex-Hydra agent but Amelia had a few tricks up her sleeve. Every time she thought she was getting a little too close to an innocent bystanders car, she'd simply use her powers to push that vehicle at a safe distance. So really, she wasn't just driving her own car as she passed through that street, she was driving multiple cars. It was enough to distract Steve from his thoughts and get impressed by his own lover who was clearly putting all her concentration on the task.

It was something Steve had to recognise, he _owed_ it to her, to recognise that despite her horrifying history with the man they were chasing, she was putting all of her efforts into getting him _for Steve_. Not for herself, she never would if it was just for herself. But because it was for Steve she was putting everything on the line just for him, sometimes it felt like that's all she ever seemed to be doing and it would make Steve feel slightly guilty.

Just as they were finally nearing Bucky though, the cat that had been waiting patiently attached to the back of their car finally made his move. The cat guy climbed onto the top of their 4x4 and proceeded to leap onto Bucky's motorbike. They watched as Bucky flung the cat guy over his head, the bike leaning down onto its side as Bucky managed to finally kick the assailant away, straightening the bike back up and immediately riding on.

They had a second of relief as Amelia passed by the cat guy, her eyes connecting with his through the mask as she passed. It was only a second, but she felt it, some sort of connection. It wasn't a physical connection, nothing to do with them as people, it was more to do with their intentions. There was something that connected them there spiritually. No, she realised, it wasn't there yet. But something was going to happen to her, something that the cat guy would understand more than most people. It was a weird sensation, the kind of feeling a person would get from watching a storm brewing. She didn't know what the storm would be yet though, whether it would be snow, thunder, lightning, rain. Something told her that it wouldn't be anything like that. That falling from those storm clouds there would only be ash.

She shook the feeling off, going back to concentrate on Bucky, not realising that behind her Sam had started to tango with the cat guy and was acting as another means of transportation for him. Amelia didn't have enough time to look back as in front of her Bucky threw up a bomb onto the roof at the end of the underpass, bringing down tons of rubble that immediately covered her vision. She swerved the car just before it hit any of the rubble so that Amelia and Steve would be able to immediately jump from her door, running beneath the crumbling underpass with Steve holding his shield above Amelia to make sure no rubble fell on her.

The brunette knew what her job was as Steve continued to charge over to where Bucky was, the cat guy somehow by his side as he'd launched himself from Sam to reach Bucky's side quicker than the two Avengers.

She paused meters away from the falling rubble and began to use her powers so that any vehicle making their way through wouldn't end up crushed by Bucky's mess. The car that they'd escaped from had flipped so she'd had to stop that as well. It was quite a sight, one small girl, holding her hands up, somehow holding the weight of a falling bridge and a floating vehicle. Once she was sure that everyone was safe and the flipped over car wouldn't end up touching her lover, she dropped the rubble down in a calm manner, creating a wall between her and the approaching vehicles.

Time was running out, they needed to get Bucky and they needed to get out of there as fast as possible.

The sound of car sirens could be heard approaching from the other side of the underpass but Amelia ignored them as she ran over to Steve's side, holding up her hands, ready to fight off anyone that dared to harm Steve or her mission.

But her lover seemed to have other ideas. As they all became surrounded by German special forces, Steve held up one arm in front of Bucky, and the other in front of Amelia, telling them to stand down and not cause any more of a scene. His two little ex-Hydra agents, clearly the biggest threat there.

Her eyes connected with the cat guys again, and that feeling was there once again. He had gone through something, that she had too… or something she was about to go through, she couldn't really tell. All that she was sure about was that the man before her, the cat, no… the Black Panther was in pain. A horrible pain. A blanket of thorns that kept his heart hostage and had his brain blurring right from wrong.

Her attention was focused on War Machine as he landed beside them, immediately standing up and raising his repulsors at them. "Stand down!" He ordered, though no one had made a move to do anything else, they'd all realised they were surrounded and none of them wanted to cause harm to those around them, just each other.

"You don't need to do that," Amelia muttered, staring at the repulsor he had aimed directly at her. He was meant to be her brothers best friend, she thought that he was her friend too, perhaps she'd been wrong.

"Yeah, well, congratulations Mia, Cap, you're criminals now." He said it so that she knew the reason why he was doing what he was, never would he aim his weapons at a friend. But at criminals, now, that was a different story. And that's what they were, it didn't hit Amelia entirely until then. Because she'd chosen to help Steve, she'd become a criminal, and that meant it would be even more difficult to get the rest of the Avengers to see their point of view on the accords. Was it even _their_ point of view on the accords, or was it really just Steve's?

Soldier's began to move on to them after they'd shown they weren't going to attack anyone. Five soldiers immediately moved and stood around Amelia, one of them banging against her knees with his gun until she fell to the floor on her knees. Once she was down, a soldier in front of her rushed forward and clasped her hands together inside a thick, white pair of handcuffs. She immediately knew what they were there for, to nullify her powers. All that was missing was the shock collar.

"Rhodes, you don't need to do that," Steve immediately started to argue, hating the sight of those handcuffs on his lover, like a muzzle meant for a dangerous dog.

"It's for everyone's safety," Rhodey sighed, clearly not liking having to use them but he had no choice really, he'd signed the accords. He was just another soldier following orders.

From in front of them, the Black Panther got down to his knees, retracting his claws and then taking off his mask. Revealing himself to be T'Challa, the prince of Wakanda. And from Amelia had heard on the news, he would soon be the king. He did not seem much like a king though, not to her. She'd always seen kings as powerful people, caring people, a person for the people. But the King kneeling before her had a gaze as cold as ice fixed only on Bucky. The man did not care for his country, nor his people, that man only cared for one thing. Killing. That's why it was so easy for Amelia to recognise the look in his eyes, though it did not explain the oncoming storm she'd envisioned when first looking at him.

"Your Highness," Rhodey greeted, not caring that Bucky was being brutally forced to the ground. To them he wasn't Bucky, he was still the Winter Soldier, a monster. And Amelia could tell by the expression on Bucky's face that he didn't resent them for thinking so.

All in all, it was a group of very messed up people and Amelia wasn't entirely sure what was going to happen next, nor how she and Steve would deal with it.

Together, of course, but Amelia was beginning to realise that sometimes simply being together wasn't enough.

* * *

 **A/N: Some action-y scenes here, hope you enjoyed them! Let me know what you think cause from here I start to really get into the psychology of Steve and Amelia's relationship, hopefully I'm giving the effect I want to. Also, any guesses as to why Amelia's connected with T'Challa? It's pretty obvious.**

 **To LoveFiction2018, ^^**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, were you expecting an update the following day? And I find it interesting that you think Sharon will be Amelia's target when she see's them first kissing. I haven't written it yet of course, though I'm excited to get to it and have some great ideas for that particular scene. It's good to hear you're excited about the drama, because part four is probably my most drama-filled part yet!**

 **To Guest, same...**

 **To Sam0728, thank you! I'm glad it didn't feel too like 'ew Amelia get out of here you don't belong'**

 **To Pitspee, fixed it! She now says Steven, thanks for pointing that out to me. And she does, I've just yet to think of one, any suggestions? Amelia calls him Bucky because that's what Steve always called him, she thought his first name _was_ Bucky for a few months before Steve actually used his full name. The rivalry between Bucky and Sam gets shown a lot more in this fanfic, I just wrote a chapter including it actually, I hope you guys enjoy it and don't think I'm ruining the relationship. With regards to Nat explaining all the sexual stuff, I imagined that Nat would just say names and Mia would ask for the explanation, then instantly regret it lol. Steve would definitely get threatened by girls as well, because Amelia is pansexual (she wasn't brought up with the idea that only men and women were meant to date, and Nat also explained the workings of a female relationship to her) though I actually didn't know that about Steve, but it makes me happy to see there's bi-representation in one of my favourite characters as I'm bisexual myself ^^ AND NEVER APOLOGISE FOR A LONG REVIEW I LOVE THEM!**

 **To BrittStar1199, of course Tony doesn't know she's pregnant but you're definitely on the right lines with your review, you'll see more about it in chapter 82**

 **To Assbitch67, YES AMELIA NEEDS TO GET MORE CONFIDENT IN HERSELF AND REALISE BEING BROKEN MAKES HER MORE HUMAN. There are so many things in Amelia I can't wait for her to discover about herself.**

 **And a big thank you to all the people that read the chapter!**


	82. Chapter Seventy-Eight

**CHAPTER SEVENTY-EIGHT**

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" _The present changes the past. Looking back you do not find what you left behind."_

― _**Kiran Desai**_

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They'd put her in a cage and separated her from Steve, Amelia did not like that one bit. Her soldier had tried to put up a fight when he saw them bringing a second cage after putting Bucky inside of one, locking his hands and legs onto the seat. They didn't do that to Amelia, her hands were already clamped inside a thick handcuff that was weighted just enough to make it difficult for her to lift up her hands, that didn't necessarily stop her though.

Steve had argued that it wasn't necessary for her, that she wasn't a threat to anyone but Rhodey had simply replied with 'it's just to be safe, I'm sorry Cap but those are my orders' and then he'd walked away, the soldier as well as the pilot and T'Challa being pushed into a German special forces police van which was much more comfortable than Bucky and Amelia's cages.

Before going into the vehicle Amelia and Steve's eyes connected and he saw everything he needed to know; The cage was already starting to have an effect on his lover. She kept moving around, seemingly incapable of getting comfortable in her seat but it was much more than that. It wasn't the seat making her uncomfortable, but the claustrophobic space that seemed to only tighten which was causing her great vexation. The walls may have been clear but the cramped space was too heavy a reminder of the hole that Alexander Pierce would put her inside of for weeks to break her and to get her to obey his commands.

During their one second glance her lover did try to offer some comfort, trying to relay with just his eyes that he _would_ get her out of the cage, that it was his top priority, that Steve would make sure she'd be okay. That, and that he was sorry for putting her in such a position as the soldier did feel to blame. Of course, he'd had no idea that they'd put her into such a confined space, especially because Tony had learned about what Amelia labeled as 'the naughty pit' and been as equally disgusted as Steve had been the first time he'd heard about it.

Once Steve was out of her eyeshot it became harder for Amelia to keep herself calm. Without Steve's blue eyes to remind her of clear blue sky's with a little hint of green that always made her imagine herself sat on an open field resting and staring upward to serene cerulean above, without them, the brunette became lost in the walls _touching_ her. But they weren't just touching her, not like the way Steve would touch her whenever when they embraced, no, the walls were _grinding_ against her skin, _sticking_ to her flesh, prodding and poking and restricting the oxygen around her. Making it so hard to breathe. She was sure that the space was airtight, just like her naughty pit had been, and the paced breathing rapidly rising her chest up and down was starting to make her vision go blurry.

And as soon as things started to become dark, Amelia lost all hope of keeping a level head.

She started to bang her hand against the cage door, begging the soldiers sat in front of her - guarding her cage - to let her out. They just ignored her, looking away from her the same way Hydra agents always turned a blind eye. There were just too many reminders.

"Let me out for god's sake!" She screamed out, her voice taking a wild turn as she screeched like a wild animal, throwing her hands one more time at the bulletproof glass.

How did they expect her to make it through the ride? Horrible images started appearing in her head as her vision continued to go unfocused and blurred. Images of Amelia losing control again, of terrifying black wings sprouting from her back, of uncontrollable darkness festering beneath her skin like a thousand bugs which Amelia needed to become free from, of the soldiers standing in front of her becoming nothing but dust. It would be just like her birthday. Destruction was going to rain down on innocent lives all because the darkness within her was too much for Amelia to handle on her own.

If Steve was there then she would be okay, he would easily be able to calm her down, to settle the overwhelming darkness within her. He could save her. But that was the problem. Steve wasn't there, _he wasn't there_ and Amelia had no idea how to save herself. She didn't know how to be okay without him there with her.

For the past two years that had been just fine, in fact, she was in love with the idea that Steve was her solace. But as she sat confined in that cage - a cage Steve was to blame for as he was the leader that had chosen to take her down the fugitive path - she realised just how much she'd doomed herself by relying so heavily on the soldier to save her all the time.

It left her completely helpless whenever Steve wasn't with her. She was hopeless. The very world she lived in was going to end all because she couldn't hold her pretty boy's hand.

Amelia began to cry, continuing to weakly bash her hands despite the ache that was settling in her bones because of the weight of her handcuffs.

She didn't want to hurt anyone, not again. Not ever again.

But she had no idea how to stop herself. That darkness inside of her, it was too much, too overwhelming. Amelia simply didn't want it. She wanted all of the darkness to just be gone, to be replaced only by Steve's light.

That's what she needed to concentrate on, she realised, Amelia needed to concentrate on something light and maybe that would be enough to distract her from the black ruination burning beneath her flesh.

The only issue was that there was no light inside the back of that special forces van, just soldier's following orders despite where those orders fell on the line of right and wrong. And her, a monster, a literal embodiment of everything dark, bloodied knives and bloodied hands. There was no light there.

Except… there was one thing. There was one small bundle of light settled in her womb, an innocent life, untainted.

It was pure. And their heartbeat was just loud enough for her to hear as long as she concentrated solely on it. Amelia had been denying it, but in that moment, she _needed_ to hear that song. That little heartbeat, her little _baby_ , was there and it was so precious and so real and though the weight of their existence still rested on her shoulders, there was also the weight of this magnificent creation finally blossoming inside of her.

She was pregnant. Oh god, she _was pregnant_. It terrified her and amazed her all at the same time and that little, quiet, heartbeat somehow became louder than any other thought in her head.

What was she going to do? Amelia had no idea. No idea when she'd tell Steve, no idea how he'd react, no idea if she could even be a mother. But it didn't matter. Not then. All that mattered to Amelia inside that little cramped cage that would normally annihilate all sane thoughts in her, was the little life in her belly, a champion heart that beat away and defied all odds.

It was enough to placate her in the cage, enough to calm her down and keep her quiet as they finished their travels. Amelia had no idea where they were actually taking her, but she knew that they were in trouble. Clearly. The army they'd sent after them showed just how much trouble they'd gotten into.

The way they were being treated had some more doubts in her head festering, doubts that Amelia tried to ignore in order to keep standing by her man. Steve wasn't just her man anymore though, and that very thought had a smile actually blossoming on her lips, making her look slightly insane as seconds earlier she'd been madly thrashing around like an angered wolf. Because Steve wasn't just her man anymore, he was also the father of her child.

Eventually the vehicle did seem to come to a halt, but it was not the end of Amelia's journey. It was when the back doors of the van she was in were thrown open that Amelia was pulled from her reverie, her mood soured as she saw their destination. They were clearly in some government facility, from what Amelia could tell they were inside a bunker. There wasn't much to see from inside the van but that was soon solved as a forklift appeared and began to lift her cage up and out.

On her journey she saw Steve again and he seemed surprised to find her in such a calm state, sure, she looked slightly disheveled, her hair having become a tangled mess atop her head and there were beads of sweat leftover from her earlier freak out, but all in all, she looked quite serene. Her face melted into expressionless as she eyed the numerous soldier's inside of the bunker, all of them a threat in her eyes so she refused to give them anything to use against her. She was a book where the story was written entirely in invisible ink, they would have to go to great lengths if they planned to get her to open up.

Though, the more Amelia pondered on it, the more she realised that talking didn't seem to be what they wanted to do with her. They wanted to keep her locked away, and they wanted the exact same for the powers she possessed which was why the handcuffs were wrapped around her wrists.

Steve's eyes moved over to Bucky who was looking away much like how Amelia had, it was almost scary how similar their expressions were as they gave nothing away, both of them statues rather than human beings.

Steve, as well as Sam and T'Challa, were guided towards a man who stuck out profusely due to his clean grey suit, and beside him was none other than Sharon Carter. "What's going to happen to them?" The soldier immediately questioned about his lover and best friend, hoping that an answer would come from Sharon as he trusted her a lot more.

But it was the man, Everett Ross, who answered, his tone all sorts of condescending as he eyed the soldier with disapproval. "For him, the same thing that should happen to you, a psychological evaluation and extradition."

"And for Amelia?" Steve pushed, staring down the glare he was receiving without any shame.

Everett shrugged his shoulders, glancing over at the small girl in the cage. He wasn't fooled, he'd heard the stories enough to know that she was more than just a girl. If Captain America was a soldier, than she was the army. She was the war. "To be decided," Everett eventually replied, looking back over to Steve and wondering momentarily how the Avengers had gotten away with keeping such a _monster_ on their team. It was about time that there was justice for all the people she'd killed.

"This is Everett Ross, Deputy Task Force Commander," Sharon introduced, trying to remain friendly to Steve whilst also trying to remain professional in front of her boss.

Steve chuckled a little on the inside, knowing full well that if Amelia was there she'd be letting out a long sigh and afterward stating: 'another Ross, it's _always_ a fucking Ross' in that charming way she usually did. "What about our lawyer?" He asked instead of going for how Amelia would have reacted.

"Lawyer, that's funny." Everett wasn't laughing though.

They began to pull Amelia away, taking her to a room where she would be put even further away from her friends. They wouldn't break her though, that she could _promise_.

The room they took her into was cold and grey with thick stone walls that cast an odd sort of gloom over the entire room. The soldiers parked her cage in a particular spot and Amelia continued to watch them carefully though none ever met her gaze. The soldier's all knew that for a wolf, they only need one chance to catch their prey and it would be over quickly.

"I was wondering if I'd ever get the opportunity to bail you out of jail, it just sort of feels like one of those brotherly duties, you know?" Tony mused haughtily as he entered the room, sending a look to the soldier's in the room that immediately left to give them alone time which was something the billionaire had already organised as soon as he'd learnt that she'd been apprehended. "Too bad this isn't just some bank heist, that I could probably get you out of."

Amelia's lips puckered slightly as she rolled her eyes at her brother's persistent joking behaviour, it was a trait they shared and a trait they often got annoyed with each other for. "Always with the jokes, Tony," she responded, her words coming out almost as though she held no interest in their current topic and in some ways that was true, she was just waiting for him to start telling her off. She wasn't sure on how brother's were meant to behave, but sometimes it felt like Tony was acting more like her father than her brother.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he sarcastically quipped, stopping in front of Amelia's cage and leaning against an empty desk behind him. "You want to get serious? What do you want to talk about? The fact that you used your powers on the good guys which has only worsened public opinion on you? The fact that even though you know how much trouble you're in, you still decided to go after a _terrorist_?"

He'd used a poor choice of words and ignored everything she'd actually been doing, completely disregarding her true intentions and painting up his own rendition of what happened, trying to make what she'd done into some sort of crime when all she'd really been doing was supporting her man and being a good girlfriend. Amelia couldn't stand hearing her brother talk down to her in such a way so she tried to intervene. "Tony-"

"The fact that you're blindly following Steve," he still continued.

His words had Amelia pausing, and after a few seconds she actually laughed. Not a full bellied laugh, just a short chuckle as she realised what the real issue was. "You mean the fact that I'm choosing him over you," even as she said the words the brunette remained completely unaware of the cruelty that charged forward along with them, their sharpness creating a mortal wound for Tony.

"Well as long as I'm not the only one who sees it," he rebutted, looking away and pretending as though her words hadn't been ice on his heart and that her meaning hadn't been the quake to cause cracks on his frozen organ. He was too cool to ever show such a thing, especially to his sister who he only ever thought of as someone to protect, never as someone that could help him. "I get it Mia, he's your knight in shining armour and blah-blah-blah, but the way he's going about things right now is wrong. Think for yourself for once, make your own decisions."

"I've made my decision," anger was driving her, along with a sense of loyalty that had only grown stronger after Amelia finally admitted to herself that she was pregnant with her soldier's baby, "I choose Steve."

Tony didn't understand her loyalty though, all he saw was the blind following the blind and he wasn't happy that his sister was one of them. He shook his head at her words, looking downward as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Have you even pondered on what the accords would mean. Not could, I'm not talking about what Steve keeps talking about."

"I know that if I sign those accords that it's very likely I'll be remaining in a cage a lot like this one," and that was something she couldn't allow because of the child she was growing. It was going to be difficult for her at first but Amelia needed to start putting that child before everything and everyone.

The very thought scared her, but that little light, that little heartbeat, it somehow also gave her strength.

"But you wouldn't," Tony snapped in argument, uncrossing his arms so that he could begin to wave his hands in the air to gesticulate his emotions clearer, "for god's sake out of all the traits you got from Steve, why did it have to be his self-righteous stubbornness?"

"Careful," she growled out the words through gritted teeth, that protectiveness over Steve rearing its head once more, Amelia didn't even notice that all she'd been doing their entire conversation was making Tony feel more and more right.

"Do you really think that I would let anyone harm you in anyway? Have I not shown time and time again that _I will protect you_?" Sometimes he couldn't save her, those were normally the times when she would only allow Steve to save her, like on her birthday when she lost control of her powers. A moment of silence passed as Amelia showed no signs of having a response, Tony couldn't tell if that was a good or a bad thing but he was going to run with it and continue to try and get his point across. "Sign the accords Mia. Do that, I can get you out of this cage, I can get you and Cap reinstated, I can help out Bucky. I am trying my best here to make it work, and all you and Steve are doing is making scenes and fighting before thinking." There was no malice behind his intentions, no secrets, no flaws, all Tony wanted to do was help and from the way Amelia looked down almost ashamed, he realised she was finally starting to notice that. It made him hopeful. "What do you say?"

What did she say? Amelia wasn't so sure anymore. She really did trust her brother, though she might have trusted Steve more, she did trust Tony as well and so when he said that he'd protect her, a part of her believed him, until she cast her head downward and looked at the handcuffs.

Who had made the handcuffs? There was really only one person that could have made them.

"I'm in a cage right now," she stated simply, voice airy as she pondered heavily on the handcuffs that her brother had no doubt created. Not only created, but handed over to the government to help them apprehend her and nullify her powers.

"What? Yes. How very observant of you?" Tony's eyebrows were thrown together as he'd thought he was finally getting through her defenses but she'd switched the conversation all of a sudden, or so he thought, for Amelia she was still on the same subject.

"You say you'd do anything to protect me, but I'm in a cage right now, wearing handcuffs that some brilliant genius has figured out would stop my powers from working which is kind of weird because _you're_ the only person who knows the science-y stuff behind my powers, and it sort of feels like you're using all of this as some sort of torture method to get me to comply." As Amelia raised her head to look at her brother once more, she raised an inquisitive eyebrow, feeling as though she'd seen through his ploys.

But Tony seemed to disagree, quickly shaking his head from side to side and looking quite offended by what she'd said. "That's not what I'm doing at all."

"Yeah? Well that's how it's coming across," she didn't know whether to believe him or not. Amelia wanted to, but if she trusted her brother completely, and ended up putting herself at risk, and therefore the child, then that would be on her. She needed to be more safe. Steve really was the only person she had left to trust. That saddened Amelia, but she couldn't let them see that, so she pretending to be uncaring, as though the situation she'd been put in had very little meaning to her. "Look you can paint it as pretty as you want, but I know full well that if I sign those accords that I'll be taken off the team, I'll be made redundant, useless, unable to protect the people who _need_ protecting. It's still a fucking cage, all you are offering me, just like Hydra, is a damn _cage_."

"If you sign the accords at worst all that will happen is some oversight on the missions you get sent on, just to make sure that _everyone_ is protected." Tony stepped away from the desk, moving closer to her cage, placing one of his hands on the glass. "The reason you're in this cage right now isn't because of me being a big bad brother, or because of the accords, it's because of _you_. It is what you're actions have led to."

Amelia scoffed, "I was just trying to help someone, why are you making me feel guilty for that?"

Her brother rolled his eyes, finding his sisters self delusion incredibly frustrating and it made his arguments lose their balance as emotions overcame him and became the driving force behind his words. "Because everything you did was reckless," he dropped his hand from the glass and turned away from Amelia, "you only concentrated on Steve, that's all you ever do."

"I love him." It was simple and easy and the answer for most of the things she did. It was also the easy way out.

She didn't just love Steve, she relied on him, she _needed_ him. Amelia put herself on the line for him again and again because if she couldn't have him in her life than she didn't see it as being possible for her to have a life at all. She didn't care if it put her in uncomfortable positions, or make her into some sort of villain like it was then, all Amelia cared about was staying by Steve's side and protecting Steve and staying in Steve's good books. It wasn't Steve's fault, and Amelia barely realised just how much she was attached to the soldier.

"And that's perfectly fine, but do you really think ending up in jail for the rest of your life is worth it?" Tony felt a little bit hypocritical for saying that, because he was exactly the same, for Pepper he wouldn't think twice of making some big sacrifice just to ensure that she was safe. Realising that, and knowing Amelia already had the argument on the tip of her tongue, he tried to explain why he was giving his sister such a hard time for how dedicated she acted towards their leader. "I just want what's best for you."

Amelia sighed, for the first time that day not a frustrated sigh, but a sad one. She'd chosen to follow Steve because she didn't think he would let things get so bad between the team, he was always the one to bring people together. She supposed Bucky being added to the equation had changed things drastically.

It was another reason to be sad, another thing to add to the list. There were so many struggles that her and the people she loved were going through, all Amelia wanted to do was get rid of the problems. Not face them, just simply extinguish the darkness so it wasn't allowed to affect their lives in anyway.

"Tony…" As Amelia looked to Tony then, she looked at him as a little sister speaking to her big brother, "do you ever wish you could go back in time and change things?"

"All the time." His answer came quicker then even he'd expected. Normally, in the press at least, Tony liked to convey himself as a 'no regrets' sort of man, but that was farther from the truth and something he was just learning about himself. The more he thought about it, the more he could think of things he wished to change. His parents death, Amelia getting kidnapped, perhaps if he'd been more adamant that they spend Christmas together then none of that would have happened. He regretted Ultron, and hiring Aaron. He regretted how he'd introduced the accords to the rest of the Avengers as it had clearly been the wrong way.

"Yeah, so do I," she agreed, sounding far too sad considering moments ago a fire had lit up in her eyes and turned her skin red as she argued with Tony. She regretted how things had ended up between her and Tony, and she realised maybe it wasn't too late to change that, maybe it wasn't too late to stop that moment from being another regret. "I'm not promising anything here, but I might sign the accords. I need to think on it more and see how all of this plays out."

"You mean you need to see what Steve decides?" Tony replied, not as an insult, but as a truth they both knew. It was why she couldn't simply say to him that she'd sign, that she'd go down the same path as Natasha, becoming placated in order to keep the family together, because before Amelia did anything she wanted to talk to Steve about it and get his opinion and hear what he would be doing. Her brother seemed to understand that, he didn't seem happy about it, but he understood that. Leaning back against the desk, he looked at her with his lips pressed in a straight line as he shrugged his shoulders in an 'oh well' manner. "It's fine, but the longer you wait the worse things are going to get."

"Is that a threat?" Amelia knew it wasn't, but her defenses were still up and would remain that way whilst locked inside of that cage. She knew that Tony had heard the stories of the naughty pit, so it hurt her just that little bit more because he was keeping her in the cage.

But like Bucky had said when Steve told him the German special forces were going to kill him on sight, it was smart to keep them incapable of even moving. They were secret agents, trained assassins, intelligent enough to need only their pinky fingers to make some serious damage. They'd done as much as they could to keep her incapable, taking away her powers as well as keeping her caged.

"Of course it's not, it's a genuine concern coming from your dear old brother," her brother didn't bother rolling his eyes that time, they were starting to hurt from all the eye rolling he'd done during their conversation.

From behind them they heard the sound of scuffling and both looked to see a small man wearing glasses approaching them. He looked towards Tony and they exchanged a silent conversation. The billionaire smiled politely and held up one finger, "yeah, one more minute." Turning back to his sister, Amelia finally noticed just how worn out her brother looked. He'd dressed fancy as he always did, wearing a shirt with a waistcoat and suit pants, but the fabric wasn't ironed to perfection and his collar was slightly askew. The colour of his waistcoat matched the bags under his eyes. "They want you to get a psych evaluation but it shouldn't be anything too intense," he explained to Amelia, adding that last part as he knew that she was already going through an ordeal with the cage.

Steve and Amelia's suspicions had been right, he knew that she was dealing with a lot from her dark past, plenty of reminders set up around her but Tony simply couldn't do anything to argue against the way her sister was being treated. He was trying to be a good boy for once, showing his compliance and that he was on the side of the accords by obeying the orders he'd been given.

"I'm just gonna stick with silence on this one," she mused, eyeing the psychologist they'd brought on. He didn't look like a psychologist, she noticed. He was dressed like one, sure, but his bodies physique told a different story completely. He stood like a soldier, and he had the body of one too, nowhere near as impressive as Steve's but she could see the muscle hiding beneath the shirt he'd worn.

"Do whatever you want," Tony sighed as he got off the table that the psychologist placed his notebooks on top of, "it's not like I ever get a say on what you do."

Despite her brother's impertinent comment earlier, she still heard him lean over to the psychoanalyst and whisper in his ear: "Go easy on her, she's had a bad experience with psychologists."

"Oh, okay," the man replied, mumbling and keeping his voice quiet. He reminded her of Aaron.

"I'm gonna go talk to lover boy now, bye," Tony bid adieu, not turning as he left her prison room, throwing up one lazy hand before walking out of sight, leaving Amelia to train her eyes on the psychologist. Perhaps it was rude of her to immediately have a distaste towards the man when she hadn't even exchanged words with him.

"Hello," the man greeted after placing his notebooks across the desk and straightening them up. Amelia picked up the slight accent carried by his words, though she couldn't immediately locate it. He looked to Amelia with a friendly smile on his face though it tightened after a few seconds of her simply staring at him with her lips sealed. "Ah, you're the quiet type. I hear they're more deadly," he attempted a joke, but Amelia didn't even twitch. The man cocked his head to the side, analysing the brunette, "were you this difficult with Rebecca?"

Her face dropped, expression awakening in the form of a frown. "How do you know about her?" It was probably just in her file, she told herself.

"We used to be friends," he answered in a simplistic tone, as though it were basic information that she should have known. Amelia could tell quite easily that he was using it as a device to try and get her to speak, and she didn't want to fall into that trap, all Amelia wanted was to know exactly who the man was. It was clear he wasn't just an ordinary psychologist. They never were. "So she never told you about me then? That's fine, I can tell you. Me and Rebecca met at a support group, but we both felt like sitting and talking about our problems wasn't very helpful. I heard you're a lot like that too. I also knew Aaron, sweet kid, it's a shame the way he went out but it was... necessary." He was smiling, knowing the effect the words he said had on her. The man stood up and rounded the desk, leaning against it casually much like how her brother had been. "You seem tense?"

It finally clicked in her head, one particular memory of Rebecca mentioning that there was someone else beside Aaron working with her, telling her the plans. "You're the one who orchestrated it all, aren't you?"

"I don't want to take all the credit," he lifted his shoulders up almost bashfully but the prideful grin stretching his face showed that really he thought otherwise. He was still trying to portray that he was someone else, but she could easily see through his lies. "Well, I have to go see James next, but I wanted to see you first. I wanted to…" He began to step closer, looking at her like she was some sort of art piece in a museum, "I wanted to see what Aaron saw in you, but, I can't seem to see it yet. All I see is the killer that you are."

"You don't know me at all," she wasn't going to argue against him, she knew what she was and she'd accepted it.

"Oh, but I've studied you, a lot. You're one of the easier targets. Any guess as to who the second easiest is?" He moved back to the table, picking up his notebooks once again and turning around, her attention going on to the notebook he'd purposely placed at the front. It was big and red and familiar, the black star on the front something that haunted her, but she knew who it haunted more. And then the stranger left.

"No! Wait!" She yelled, bringing up her fists and banging against the glass door, trying to get him to stop. She couldn't let him get to Bucky, he was going to make things worse, he was going to wake up the Winter Soldier, that was something she _had_ to stop. "Guards! Steve! Fucking, anybody?!" She cried, arms aching beneath the weight of the handcuffs. But there was no hope, she couldn't break through her cage and she didn't have her powers. "God dammit."

Amelia couldn't do anything. She couldn't stop him, and she wouldn't be able to stop the Winter Soldier from hurting her friends, from hurting Steve and Tony and Sam. She wouldn't be able to stop the Winter Soldier from hurting Bucky either, and some part of her had started to feel a little bit responsible for him.

If she had her powers than everything would be different, but the damn handcuffs Tony had made stopped her powers.

Oh. But not all of them. Just the powers they'd been able to research. Tony hadn't been able to learn much about the black powers because she kept them secret. And there was another secret she'd been keeping about those particular powers, something no one, not even Steve, knew.

Amelia Stark could control her black powers now.

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 **A/N: This was one of the more fun chapters for me to write. I got to explore more of Tony and Amelia's relationship and I got to reveal things you guys pretty much already knew but still. I really love writing about Amelia's relationships with other characters and I wish I could do it more, but then I don't want to go off topic too much and miss out on some prime Stevia moments, y'know?**

 **To LoveFiction2018, but Sharon and Steve were never one-sided? We'll just have to wait and see because I haven't written that scene yet, though I think it might be in the next chapter I'm writing actually ^^**

 **To AngelElmarlienHenning, thank you and no problem ^^**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, it's frustrating I know, I'm just hoping not so frustrating to the point where you'll stop reading. Things come a close and all the issues written about do get their ending, I promise! And tbh Amelia could probably really use that hug right about now lol.**

 **To Sam0728, well you see this is the thing I love about POV's, they're only telling you the story they want to display, there might be more truth to those memories that we're getting to see. Even with Amelia's dreams ;)**

 **To Pitspee, T'Challa and Amelia have had a surprising relationship form that I wasn't at all expecting, it just sort of happened during my week off planning but I love it and hopefully you guys will too. And agreed, someone make a petition for Steve choosing the farm please. AND I WAS THINKING ELIZABETH TOO but the issue with that is that my middle name is Elizabeth and I don't want to come across as a self-insert kind of author (I say, as I insert basically all my past issues into this story). I'm currently in the middle of writing a particular scene that may or may not include the jealous scene, I'll be finishing it tomorrow because I've been moving most of today but I'm pretty excited to get into it.**

 **To BrittStar1199, if she survives Civil War**

 **To Assbitch67, oh man I feel you, when I wrote that I had to stop for a second and just sort of hug myself because if I had a partner who said no to a pet dog I'd break man. And there will be more jealous!Steve in chapter 84! And also Amelia/Bucky bonding in chapter 84! Looks like you're gonna love chapter 84 lol.**

 **And a big thank you to everyone that read the last chapter, hope we're enjoying the daily updates again! I can't promise it'll be forever because I've still got to move house, like I was moving some stuff over today which took up most of the day so I've only managed to write half a chapter (but it's okay, this is exactly why I wanted to be writing a few chapters ahead of what I'm posting) but yeah. I'm sorry if some days I'm just not posting! Love you all, hope you have a wonderful, beautiful, spectacular day because you all deserve it!**


	83. Chapter Seventy-Nine

**CHAPTER SEVENTY-NINE**

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 _"Peace is more than the absence of war. Peace is_ accord _. Harmony."_

 _ **― Laini Taylor**_

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Steve watched on one of the screens Tony speaking with Amelia, he was confined in a room (they'd separated him from Sam in case they started plotting some sort of escape) so he couldn't actually hear what they were talking about but he could see from their expressions that both looked sad. He could only bear to watch for another few minutes before he had to look away, turning around so that the soldier wasn't facing the screens anymore.

He hated to think that he'd gotten in the way of their sibling bond, especially because they'd all put so much work into building it up. Steve really did want more for Amelia. He wanted better for her. Sometimes he'd wonder if he could ever give her that and sometimes he'd ponder over the fact that so many of Amelia's troubles wouldn't be happening if she wasn't with him. She'd just sort of ended up joining the Avengers and going on missions, none of them had ever really stopped and thought about how it would affect the younger Stark. And there were very clear effects. There was the whole issue that happened because of Rebecca and Aaron, and there was Lagos, all of those things would never have happened if Steve had actually stopped and thought about the lifestyle he was going to make Amelia endure when she'd quite clearly wanted another one.

During their year abroad he'd seen firsthand how much she wanted a normal life, even though they'd been living in some very dingy places, his lover had adored discovering new places, new recipes and basically just being _human_. Not a weapon, not a soldier, just an ordinary human being. But Steve had never once considered giving her that dream, so caught up in protecting others and being Captain America.

Had he wronged her? Was he wronging her by dragging her into a feud she shouldn't have to be in, a feud against the only family she had? He'd known that it was wrong for him to ask her to help him with Bucky, especially when he knew that he was the one to blame for AS09's origins, and the soldier liked to think that he'd tried to stop her from interacting with Bucky when he'd asked her to stay with Sam instead, but had that really been enough?

Steve was falling down a long, twisting, dark hole. Branches stuck out against the walls and as he fell they would slide across his skin like iron knives, splitting his flesh open, leaving marks that would take time to fade from his skin. The ring that was always present in his mind burnt his pocket, suddenly becoming something sinister the longer he fell. Was he Amelia's doom? How far would things go, how much would he destroy her with his own selfishness, would he end up being the death of her?

The only thing loud and obnoxious enough to get through Steve's reverie was Tony Stark himself. They'd talked a little before the billionaire had gone off to see his sister, though all that had really been said was that Steve was in big trouble. Steve was expecting to hear a repeat of Tony's earlier words but there seemed to be something else playing on the billionaire's mind.

"Hey, you wanna see something cool?" Tony asked, stepping further into the room and shutting the door behind him so that the pair could have some more privacy.

Steve didn't immediately jump at the prospect at having a conversation with the billionaire, he was still furious at Tony for the way he'd so easily turned against them in favour of the Accords, as well as the way he was treating his _sister_. He didn't even bother fully facing Tony at first, continuing to look at the wall outside "How's Amelia coping?"

"Mia. Oh, she's mad, hurt. All understandable though." Tony shrugged, throwing the words out quickly and then proceeding to immediately divert the conversation away from his sister, knowing that if Steve only concentrated on the way Amelia was being treated then the soldier wouldn't even bother listening to what Tony had to say on the Accords. He flashed the small black case he had over to Steve, both of them taking a seat at the long table in the room. "I pulled something from Dad's archives. Felt timely." He opened up the case, revealing two pens. "FDR signed the Lend-Lease bill with these in 1921, provided support to the allies when they needed it most."

"Some would say it's brought our country closer to war," immediately Steve caught onto what Tony was trying to do and he didn't appreciate it one bit, his mind wrapped too much around things like Bucky and his girlfriend's wellbeing that the Accords were a forgotten, meaningless, thing to him.

"See? If not for these, you wouldn't be here," Tony argued back, looking away momentarily as the billionaire truly came to accept just how difficult it was going to be to get Steve to listen, he'd known it would be hard, but from the way Steve was already speaking, the soldier was in a very dismissive mindset. The first thing Tony needed to do, he decided, was make sure that Steve knew his intentions were only pure-minded. "I'm trying to… what do you call it? It's an olive branch. Is that what you call it?" Tony wasn't a spy or an agent, he wasn't trained in negotiation, sure he might be a billionaire but money was no leverage to the man sitting behind him. That conversation they shared in that moment was the most honest Tony had been in a while.

But Steve didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to talk about the Accords because his mind had already been made up about it, and then after Bucky's resurfacing, the Accords just became this less important battle to him. Looking around, he peered at everyone outside of the room, only truly taking in their faces then as previously he'd been busy staring at Bucky and Amelia on the screens. He noticed that Tony's usual entourage wasn't anywhere to be seen. "Is Pepper here? I didn't see her." Normally in stressful situations, and situations that included politics and a more gentle hand (and less brash nature), Pepper would be at Tony's side helping to make sure that he didn't do or say anything stupid. Steve had no doubt that the situation he'd put them in was one that called for the intelligence of Pepper Potts, and yet the strawberry blonde was nowhere to be seen.

Tony visibly stiffened, throwing out his hand so he could gesticulate whilst speaking, "we're kinda… well, not kinda…"

"Pregnant?" Steve guessed, leaning a little forward in his seat, looking just about ready to break out the banners and confetti.

"No, definitely not that," Tony's eyes widened slightly as he laughed off Steve's assumption, showing that he hadn't even been thinking about children, which Steve understood as he was pretty much in the same mindset. "We're taking a break. It's nobody's fault." _Lies_. Tony blamed himself, of course he did, he wasn't an idiot, he knew how difficult he could be. It was his fault. It was always his fault.

"I'm so sorry, Tony, I didn't know," the soldier pushed authenticity into his tone, making sure that despite their argument the billionaire knew he really did feel bad for him.

"A few years ago, I almost lost her, so I trashed all my suits. But then we had to help Thor find Loki's scepter, and then Ultron. My fault. And then, and then, and then, I never stopped..." He hadn't meant to tell Steve all of that, he was only meant to discuss the Accords with the soldier. And yet, the friendship they shared, that trust, was enough to break through the cracked wall Tony had only just been keeping together after his separation from Pepper. "Because the truth is that I don't want to stop. I don't want to lose her either. I thought maybe the Accords could split the difference." It all came back to the Accords, but it seemed this comparison was the first thing to finally get through to Steve as the soldier looked down in thought, finally able to see one benefit to it but it was only a benefit for Tony, it wasn't enough to convince him that the Accords were actually a blessing. Feeling more vulnerable than he'd like, Tony turned away from Steve in his seat and then stood up, choosing to walk around and keep his body busy. "In her defense," he added as an afterthought, "I'm a handful. Yet, Dad was a pain in the ass, but he and mom always made it work."

"You know, I'm glad Howard got married. I only knew him when he was young and single," Steve mused, reminiscing momentarily about his old friend. He'd loved fondue, that was for sure. The man in his memories was completely different from the one in Tony's, so different that Steve was rarely ever able to connect the two together.

Tony involuntarily rolled his eyes. "Oh, really? You two know each other? He never mentioned that. Maybe only a thousand times." It was a burden in his youth; From such a young age all his father would do was compare him to Steve and try to make him become as 'great a man' as the heroic soldier. The expectations eased up somewhat when Amelia was born, his father's constant nagging and orders transforming to disinterest and neglect as Howard's newborn girl took up his every waking thought. Tony had actually thought it strange at first, just how much time Howard spent with the child, even taking her to his lab and being very secretive about what they'd do there, but Tony's self-hatred eventually filled that curiosity by simply deciding Howard spent so much time with his daughter because he was trying to make her into the prodigy that he hadn't gotten with Tony. Shaking his head and trying to not let himself fall too far into the dark parts of his mind, the billionaire turned back to face Steve, leaning against the glass wall and covering the screen that showed Amelia Stark talking to the psychoanalyst. "How'd you reckon he'd feel knowing you were dating his daughter? Probably proud."

The soldier cringed but a smile still bent his lips, "I try not to think about it to be honest, it's very…"

"Weird? Wrong? Pedophilic in some aspects? Stop me at any point," Tony joked, waving his hands again but Steve had gotten used to his friend gesticulating that it didn't distract him. The billionaire stopped himself anyway, sighing as he already knew what the answer was, "no, he'd definitely be proud, especially if Amelia still went through the whole Hydra _thing_."

Tony had thought about it plenty, more than he'd cared to admit. It was one of those regrets he'd been discussing with Amelia ten minutes earlier. One of those things that he wished he could go back in time to change and make happen. Maybe if he'd somehow protected his mother and father, they'd be there to see Amelia and Steve fall in love and Tony _knew_ that Howard wouldn't think twice before giving his blessing, trusting the super soldier so much, completely blinded to all of his faults. Tony refused to be like his father, for Amelia's own safety, of course.

"You know that's why she doesn't want to sign, right?" Steve had a bad habit of always trying to make sure Amelia and Tony kept a good relationship, but it was starting to feel like he was grasping at air and the soldier wasn't sure anymore how much longer he could keep doing it. It was starting to feel like maybe there was no hope for the two of them. "It's nothing to do with you," he insisted. Steve had no idea of the part he was playing.

The billionaire swayed his head from side to side in thought, pursing his lips, showing that he didn't agree with his friend. "You're not wrong, but you're not right either. I know it has nothing to do with me, but the reason she won't sign it is because of you."

"I really don't mean to make things difficult, Tony," Steve replied, once again genuine in his words, and once again completely unaware of the effect he was having on the team because he was blinded by his own self-righteousness.

"I know, because you're a very polite person," the billionaire responded whilst putting his suit jacket back on. He didn't need it on, Tony just wanted to be doing something, otherwise, he'd start feeling the effects of opening up his vulnerabilities to Steve.

"If I see a situation pointed south, I can't ignore it," Steve justified, throwing his hands up in a 'what can be done?' sort of gesture, "sometimes I wish I could."

"No, you don't." If Tony had learned anything about his friend through the years they'd spent together, it was that Steve never ran from a fight, and he never wanted to. It was the reason Tony was so protective around Amelia when it came to Steve, because he was more Captain America than Steve Rogers.

He'd had to become Captain America though, it was the only way for him to save people, and Steve had happily remained as that hero because there was nothing else that Steve wanted more. That included Amelia. He loved her, he really did, and he would do _anything_ for her, but Steve hadn't even pondered the idea that maybe to be with her - the damaged girl who just wanted to stop fighting - he would need to hang up his shield. Perhaps the reason he'd never pondered that particular idea was because he didn't know if he'd be able to ever do it.

"For Amelia I do," Steve tried to defend, because though he'd never pondered giving up his lifestyle for her, he had on more than one occasion seen a storm brewing and tried his best to make sure Amelia didn't get caught in it.

"But for yourself?" Tony pushed, wanting Steve to finally admit it to both Tony and himself that he was a _soldier_ , nothing less, nothing more. He had the potential to be, but he was so stuck in that life that he didn't _want_ to be.

Steve sighed, shoulders deflating with the heavy exhale, "no, I don't." He'd admitted it, and Tony was surprised by just how sad the soldier said the words, and he couldn't help but wonder if he'd finally realised the truth everyone else knew. That despite how great the relationship was, Amelia's loyalty to Steve would only end up causing her suffering the longer that she stayed at his side.

"You know what I want?" He decided to change the subject and concentrate on the conversation he was supposed to be having with Steve, as far as he was concerned Amelia wasn't in any imminent danger.

"To punch you in your perfect teeth," Tony continued, "but I don't want to see you gone. We need you, Cap, and Amelia needs you too. So far, nothing has happened that can't be undone. If you sign, we can make the last twenty-four hours legit. I can get Barnes transferred to an American psych-center rather than a Wakandan prison."

It was a good deal, it meant his best friend wouldn't be persecuted and killed for his crimes, as well as getting the help he'd need. It might not be what Steve wanted (Bucky by his side again) but he owed it to Bucky to at least think about that deal. Grabbing a hold of one of the pens, Steve stood, playing with the object in his hand, feeling the weight of all that the pen meant in his grasp. "I'm not saying it's impossible, but there would have to be safeguards. Especially for Amelia, I know you want to protect her just as much as I do."

"Sure," Tony immediately agreed, "we'd have to put out the PR fire first and then those documents can be amended. Amelia can't be back on the team for a while, I'm sure you know why." The world saw her as a criminal despite all she'd done to protect them, and as a threat, because of the powers she possessed that (after her birthday) the world knew she had very little control of. "I'll just do what I've done with Wanda, but I can at least get you and Wanda reinstated in the next few months, get you back in the field-"

"Wanda? What has she got to about this?" Steve asked, confused by the way Tony was talking about her.

"She's fine. She's confined to the compound currently, but Vision's keeping her company," the billionaire reassured.

"Oh God, Tony! Every time," Steve sighed, suddenly angry and Tony couldn't understand why, "every time I think you see things the right way…"

"What? It's 100 acres with a lap pool. It's got a screening room. Amelia will be just as comfortable as Wanda is, it's a much better way to protect people, better than what Ross' idea is which is putting Amelia and Wanda into cages."

"Protection? Is that how you see this?" The walls Steve was building were visible, Tony's hope that they'd finally get Steve to sign the accords and stop the fight before it became one, draining. "This is protection? It's _internment_ , Tony."

"Wanda isn't a US citizen."

"Oh, come on, Tony," Steve scoffed, unable to see how that had anything to do with Wanda being treated as a threat, he was only looking at the morals, whilst Tony's focus was mostly on the laws and politics.

"And they don't exactly grant visas to weapons of mass destruction," Tony continued, becoming as equally as frustrated as Steve because the soldier was allowing himself to become closed off over his own definitions of wrong or right. The world just wasn't that black and white.

"She's a kid Tony! Does Amelia know you're doing this? Treating Wanda the same way Amelia was treated by Hydra?" Both of them knew just how furious Amelia would be, and Tony detested the soldier for trying to use that against him.

"It's not at all like that," his voice had raised up a few octaves because the things he was doing to Wanda weren't even close to the things that Amelia had gone through. Wanda had plenty of room, plenty of entertainment, and plenty of company. She wasn't being isolated and tortured and broken.

"It's exactly like that Tony," Steve argued, knowing that no matter how well Wanda was being treated, the reason behind Tony's intentions were still cruel, just like Hydra's own intentions.

"People are scared, Steve. They see Amelia and the things she can do, and the even worse things she can do when she loses control, and alarm bells go off in their head because she _is_ dangerous. Wanda's too similar, too close to Amelia, and that's made the public scared of her too." He knew that his explanation made sense, Steve wasn't a complete idiot, and the billionaire was sure that Steve knew he was right. "What? I'm wrong? Wanda's powers come from Strucker's experiments with stones that are barely understood and she has no idea the depth of them, _just like Amelia_."

Steve shook his head. Tony was right, he understood all of Tony's points, but that still didn't make what he was doing right. "But they're good people, you should know that better than anyone and they're learning to get in control. All you're doing is making them scared of themselves which isn't going to help anyone," Tony hadn't been there for the first year after Amelia left Hydra, when she was confused and entirely lost on who she was. It had been hard, seeing a human being having such a low view of themselves, so low that they didn't even consider themselves human. "Positive reinforcement, you ever heard of it?" Of course it wasn't that simple, but it was the easiest thing Steve could think of that would be a much better treatment for the two girls than what Tony was planning.

"Give me a break!" Tony slammed his fist against the table, "I'm doing what has to be done to stave off something much worse." But Steve didn't know the details of his dream, it was Tony's own little secret, his own burden that he'd chosen to carry. Mainly because the billionaire didn't know how to tell Steve the things he'd saw. The dead bodies. The overwhelming alien forces that would end up destroying Earth, their home. The same darkness above him that he'd only seen once in his life, on Amelia's birthday, when she'd lost control of her powers.

He'd had deja vu the first time he saw the black mist burning off of her demon wings, though he couldn't place it until the night after everything was over, and then finally he'd realised that the last time he'd seen that mist was in his vision.

Tony had become convinced then that Amelia would have something to do with the conclusion of his vision, and that's why he'd been so adamant to learn more about her powers. He'd never tell her that because he knew how much it would hurt her feelings. But Tony knew he needed to get his sisters powers, and his sister, in check, not for the world's protection, but so he can protect her. That was his job as her big brother.

"You keep telling yourself that," Steve muttered as he returned to the table, placing the pen back into the black case, "hate to break up the set."

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 **A/N: So what are we thinking now? Still on Tony's side? Steve's side? Technically I'm just on Amelia's side, but I am preferring Tony's if I'm being honest with you. But I'm the author so I'm not allowed to be biased and hopefully I'm not coming across as biased in the chapters. Also, a little foreshadowing for Infinity War, if Amelia survives long enough to get there. Or maybe it's just a red herring. Who knows*(cue evil laughter).**

 **To kuppcake, agreeeeed! I get why they overlook some stuff because like you said, Civil War involves a lot of craziness, and I know I've probably overlooked some stuff (you've made me realise I've overlooked the affects of Peggy's funeral, I'll try to amend that) but I agree and it's something that pissed me off, especially with Tony's PTSD. But anyway, thank you for the review, hope you enjoyed this chapter :)**

 **To LoveFiction2018, Steve is only interested in Amelia, but that doesn't mean Sharon's not still into Steve. She doesn't know yet that he's dating Amelia because everytime they never really showed any affection to one another in front of her ;)**

 **To rosequartz121, hope it was exciting for you! No helicopter scene yet, but it'll be coming very soon don't you worry lol**

 **To Assbitch67, lol Baby Stevia, I haven't thought up a name for them yet, maybe I should just use that. Never apologise for long reviews! I love them, I wish I could say more to you but I can't think of anything that would be spoiler-y. I'm glad you found the last one interesting, what about this one? I feel like it's provided a lot of development for both Steve and Tony.**

 **To Sam0728, happy to hear it, you'll have to wait a bit until the next one to see the exciting stuff though I'm afraid. I'm sorry. Hopefully this was still a good read.**

 **To Guest, agreed, I hate having her and Tony fight but hopefully by the end of everything they can return to being siblings.**

 **To BrittStar1199, saaaaame, but the girl is far too addicted to Steve to see anything else really, plus now she's pregnant with his baby which will probs make her like 5000x more loyal. And wow great guess on what the next chapter was going to be!**

 **To Pitspee, Amelia and Bucky was another surprising relationship that just sort of formed whilst I was planning, hopefully you guys will like it and I will admit that I'm actually quite worried about how I've written Bucky's character so please do let me know what you think about that! Oh that would be good, but I kind of have a great idea for when her middle name would be revealed so I don't know if I'll be able to make that middle name greeting thing happen sadly. AND GIRL SAME! When I was rewatching Civil War to plan part four my heart was seriously just like 'omg Bucky' the entire way through, I needed to stop for a second and remind myself that I'm meant to be loyal to Steve right now. At least until I finish this and then I can start a Bucky fanfic lol. AND HELICOPTER SCENE IS NEXT CHAPTER I PROMISE!**

 **To ShoutyGuest, I loved this review, I'm so sorry you didn't get any action this chapter though, I felt like you guys needed to see what Tony and Steve spoke about. ACTION NEXT CHAPTER THO PREPARE YOURSELF!**

 **And a big opposite-of-an-oompa-loompa-sized thank you to the people that read this chapter, hope you enjoyed it, if ya did, feel free to send me a review ^^**


	84. Chapter Eighty

**CHAPTER EIGHTY**

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" _Peace is more than the absence of war. Peace is accord. Harmony."_

― _**Laini Taylor**_

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All she had to do was concentrate. She'd done it before, hell, she'd even done it by accident, so it shouldn't have been so difficult for her to call up the dark powers.

Amelia didn't really understand why they were so different from her white powers, it was like whilst her white powers were starlight, her black powers were the night sky behind it. They were the all consuming blackness. The brunette at least knew that the difference was the key to her calling it up. Normally when using her white powers she would think about something light, like hot chocolate or pancake recipes or Steve's eyelashes. In order to call up the dark powers she needed to think of something dark, which shouldn't have been so difficult, except she had fear holding her back.

It was the exact same fear that held her back when it came to telling her friends and family about the depression she was going through. Amelia wanted to avoid it all together, but in order to utilise it, she needed to confront the darkness. Perhaps even accept it, but how could she possibly do such a thing?

The darkness, her past, her mental health, her bloodied hands, they were all things that she couldn't face because then they would consume her. That's what Amelia believed anyway.

But in order to get out of that cage and save her friends, she needed to stare at that part of her directly. Amelia wasn't the type of person who could do such a thing for herself, but when it came to protecting those she loved, well, Amelia would do just about anything for that. Much like how she had to save them from Rebecca, she'd relapsed despite every atom in her body demanding her not to. When it came to her friends, to her brother, to Steve, they always came before her.

So she closed her eyes and silenced everything around her, focusing her mind on memories that always caused her a great deal of pain. Alexander Pierce, petting her head, whispering in her ear that if she killed then the pain would go away. The Winter Soldier, staring her child-self down with no emotion, grabbing her arm and breaking it in two, not to teach her a lesson, but just because Pierce had demanded him to. Hydra agents, staring at her as she curled her naked self into a ball, blood soaking her skin and numerous cuts and scars continuing to leak the red liquid, no sign of help anywhere. Rebecca, standing with a gun to her head and a knowing smile playing on her lips. Aaron, his neck somehow in her hands, his eyes lighting up with happiness as she killed him for the sake of just killing him, something she'd never thought she'd do again since meeting Steve.

When she opened her eyes again, though her vision was blurred by tears, she saw the black flames licking her skin. It hurt. The black powers always seemed to hurt her, but they also made her feel so much more alive. It was like with Alexander Pierce in a way, he hurt her so much, but he also made her feel emotions. Mostly hatred. But either way, if she hadn't felt those emotions, if she'd just been another empty Winter Soldier, Amelia truly believed that she'd never have taken up Steve's offer of feeling other emotions, happier emotions.

The brunette focused then, replaying those dark images in her head, filling her heart up with all that pain but not letting it stop her. Instead, she used that pain and made it into passion. Passion to save those that stopped the darkness from completely taking over her.

Black fell from her hands and covered the entirety of the cage, including the handcuffs, the cosmic energy supplying her with enough power to throw the sealed door off its hinges. It flew across the room and made a loud crashing sound but no one was there to notice.

The second she stepped out of the cage, all the lights in the room suddenly went off. Panic flashed across her face as she realised she was running out of time and that whatever plan the man had, it was beginning to work. He was probably already with Bucky, which meant her chances of stopping him from activating the Winter Soldier had gone. That meant she'd have to fight him. But Amelia couldn't concentrate on that, if she did then the brunette would never leave the room.

Just as she was about to set off on a sprint, Amelia was reminded of the weighted handcuffs locked around her wrist. Pausing once again, she looked down at them and concentrated her powers on them, focusing on breaking each atom apart until they were gone entirely. She got what she wanted, the handcuffs turning into sparkling dust that floated upward into the air. Amelia got what she wanted, but she wasn't happy that she did. Knowing that she possessed that power and could actually control it, made her even more terrified of the power.

Doing her best not to dwell on it - knowing full well that the thoughts would return whenever she tried to sleep, stopping her from doing so - the brunette finally set off on her journey, exiting her own confined room and finding numerous soldiers laid on the floor.

Amelia kneeled down beside them and on closer inspection found that there were injection pricks on each of their necks, meaning the stranger had managed to knock them out. The drugs he would have used suggested that he was actually a psychologist, but then the fact that he'd managed to inject three soldiers in the neck suggested he was more like an agent, someone trained in fighting. He could have quite easily gotten the drugs from Rebecca as well.

It was becoming more and more frustrating to her that she didn't know who he was, only capable of picking up a few clues here and there, none of them substantial enough to give her a conclusion. He'd known Rebecca though, that was the one thing he'd confirmed for her. The man had known, and worked (conspired seemed like a better word), with her.

From the soldiers she took two guns, knowing if she did face off Bucky then they'd be incredibly handful. Standing back up, Amelia tried to remember what route they'd taken to bring her to the room but she'd stupidly allowed her mind to get more caught up in other things rather than a foolproof escape route which would have been far more beneficial, especially in that moment. The hallways were even more difficult to figure out as they were dark and she was in too much of a rush to stop at every sign to inspect it.

Amelia was at least on red alert, every hair on her skin stood up straighter than she was, every sound equivalent to an explosion to her as she feared that around any corner the Winter Soldier would be waiting for her. At one point she had to pause in a hallway as numerous soldiers passed by, one yelling out orders, revealing to Amelia that something had indeed happened to Bucky. They were doomed from the start, she thought glumly, just hoping that Bucky wouldn't end up killing them, not because it would be sad to lose the soldier's lives, but because she knew how much it would haunt Bucky once he came back to the real world.

Once the soldier's had all gone down the hallway (thankfully giving her a clue on where she needed to go) Amelia waited another minute just to be sure that there was no way she'd be spotted, knowing that as soon as she was, the soldier's motives would change to detaining her. The minute passed slowly, achingly so, and just as it ended she heard another pair of feet running down the hallway.

It was only two people, and Amelia simply couldn't waste any more time otherwise it would be too late. She wouldn't shoot them, simply surprise them and then knock the soldier's out before they could do anything like reveal she'd also gotten out of her cage. She waited until they were closer, and then as soon as they arrived at the split of the hallway she jumped out from her corner and aimed her gun at them. "Stop!" She yelled, instinct telling her to pull the trigger despite what she'd planned, but she refused that part of herself just as she did every other mission she went on with Steve, and it ended up being a good thing as she found that it wasn't soldiers but Steve and Sam waiting in the hallway.

Immediately she jumped over to Steve, placing her hands on his cheeks and bringing his face down so that she could kiss him. Amelia just wanted to feel him again. It had felt like far too long since she got to be simply near him. It wasn't only his flesh that she was feeling though, it was also his light.

"You're okay," he immediately soothed between kisses, his own large hand caressing her cheek that had dry trails of tears on it. "You're okay." He wasn't sure who he was soothing, his lover, or himself.

"It's the therapist," she revealed, knowing that they couldn't waste any more time, but there was so much information it was hard for her to fit it all into one sentence, "the psychoanalyst, he's going to wake up the Winter Soldier. A book, red book, trigger words."

Steve looked confused but nodded along with her words anyway, the soldier looked to Sam behind him and found that the pilot looked just as confused but none of them really had the time to stop and have a chat about it. He was able to gather enough details from the words she'd thrown out. Bucky was in danger, and becoming a danger to others. "It'll be okay," Steve said to her before beginning to run down the hallway towards the east wing.

He wanted to stop and comfort her longer, maybe even stop her from joining him entirely, but there wasn't enough time for him to do that and Steve knew he'd need all the help he could get on containing Bucky. It still played on the back of his mind though now that the soldier was aware of what he'd been putting Amelia through.

They knew they'd made it to their desired location as soon as they found the crowd of unconscious bodies, all leading into where Bucky's cage was but they found it with the door thrown off, and laid across from it on the ground was the psychologist. He reached out a hand towards the soldier. "Help me, help," The man begged, voice weak, trying to address the part of Steve that saved people first and asked questions second.

But before Steve had even made a move to step forward, Amelia was already moving to stand in front of the soldier, placing one hand on his arm to stop him from stepping towards the man, the man her eyes were trained on in a deathly glare. "Don't," she ordered, "he's not who he says he is, he worked with Rebec-"

Amelia had made another stupid mistake, too distracted by one thing to not pay attention to the environment around her, and the next thing the brunette knew a fist had appeared in her peripheral vision. She barely had enough time to create a shield where the hand was going to impact her face, certainly not enough time to stop the fist from colliding entirely with her, throwing her back on to the floor.

Once she was on the floor, out of the Winter Soldier's way, he aimed his fist towards Sam. He hit the wall as Sam ducked down but the Winter Soldier made up for the folly by grabbing Sam by the jaw and throwing him into the open cage. Steve lurched into the fight and threw a hit towards the mind controlled agent, the Winter Soldier clearly not feeling anything, not even having to recover from the attack before kicking and punching Steve repeatedly. Both of them leaving the chamber and going towards the elevator at the end of the hall.

Amelia raised a hand and pressed it against her aching cheek, glad that she'd managed to put up some sort of block which helped keep her jaw from being snapped off its hinge. Opening her eyes, she noticed the pretend-psychologist beginning to stand up and dust himself off, clearly thinking that there was no one there to stop him. As he began to walk the brunette reached out with her hand and grabbed his leg, pulling him down to the ground and immediately rushing to get on top of him.

"Who the fuck are you?!" She demanded, gun steadily aimed at his head.

He didn't seem at all affected by the guns appearance though, making it clear that it wasn't the first time he'd stared down the barrel of a gun, making her want to know even more just exactly who he was. But the man showed he didn't plan on answering any time soon as he looked up into her eyes, wearing a knowing smile that matched Rebecca's perfectly. "You used your dark powers to escape, didn't you? Does he know what you're keeping from him?" The man signaled with his eyes towards Steve.

Looking up towards him, guilt bubbled at the bottom of her stomach but it was soon replaced by a tightening concern as she watched Bucky go through the elevator door with his fist, then pushing Steve down the elevator shaft. Just as she was about to jump up, Amelia felt something prick her neck.

She'd done it again. Lost her concentration, made a rookie mistake, created an opening for the man to shove a needle into her neck. All her mistakes were a testimony to how their mission was causing her to fall apart. Dealing with the rift made by the accords, and having to face the Winter Soldier again, all whilst finding out she was pregnant and discovering another one of Steve's 'almost's, it was making her lose all sense at a time when she needed sense most to protect the life inside of her.

The effects of whatever drug he'd injected her with were instant, the world around her beginning to pivot and blur. It was easy for the man to push her off of himself then. Immediately she flopped to the floor though Amelia did try to reach out for him one last time. "Why are you doing this?" Her voice was surprisingly meek.

The man seemed to pity her, that, or he wanted to show off his victory as he turned back to face her once more. "To watch an empire fall," was his answer, and then Amelia fell unconscious and the stranger was afforded enough time to make an escape.

She wasn't as easy as the soldier's he'd knocked out earlier though, the drugs not having that much of an effect on her because part of Amelia's training at Hydra was building a resistance to anesthetics and poisons (that year or training was the easiest out of the twenty-five years she spent under Hydra's control). The brunette was only unconscious for a minute before her body being shaken and her name being called pulled her out of the dizzying effects of the drug.

"Amelia! Wake up, Frecks!" Sam's familiar voice was loud enough to wake up an entire country, or at least that's how it felt for Amelia.

Her eyes shot open immediately and she reached out with a limp hand, pushing against Sam's face, making him shut his mouth completely. She let out a groan, a headache already erupting and replacing the reeling sensation. "No offense Sam," Amelia mumbled, "but I'm getting sick of opening my eyes and seeing your face."

"Yeah, yeah," he huffed, understanding that she was referencing earlier when they were trying to detain Bucky, "you can tell me all about how much you love pretty boy's face, but first we need to get the psychologist." Sam placed his arms around her shoulders so that he could help bring her back up onto her feet.

"He's not a psychologist, he's a soldier," she was sure of it after their last interaction.

"Yeah, well, he's getting away," that seemed to be enough to get Amelia moving as she worked on walking independently, forcing herself to begin to sprint as she followed Sam's guidance down the hallway he'd seen the stranger go down. They both knew what would happen if he got away. Bucky would get blamed for actions he couldn't help and that meant more trouble for them.

They couldn't let him get away.

Sam and Amelia spotted the stranger once they reached the stair well, he was already a few flights down from them but that didn't perturb them from their chase. If Amelia hadn't been drugged then she would have simply floated down and captured him herself, but she couldn't risk it then, knowing that if she tried without being completely in control than she could accidentally just end up falling to her death. The risk wasn't worth it, as tempting as the idea might have been to her.

They went as fast as they could, jumping down the stairs and rushing to get to the bottom. It seemed like they were actually making good progress but then they reached the ground floor where employees were crushed together, rushing to escape through the doors, hoping to get themselves to safety. The mass amount of people made it easy to lose the stranger, and Amelia was sure as the pair exited the building, that they were chasing after two different brunettes that they'd spotted.

Both of them managed to spot the discarded jacket on the ground. Sam reached it first, picking it up and looking over the details, there was no denying it, the jacket in his hand was the same jacket that the stranger _had_ been wearing. Amelia stepped closer towards Sam so she could get a better look at it herself, and she came to the same conclusion. "God dammit," she cursed, throwing her hands up in her long brown locks in frustration.

He wouldn't have gotten away if she'd been smarter, more focused, made fewer mistakes. All of her issues were starting to leak into her missions, which was the one thing Amelia had been doing her very best to avoid because missions weren't ever something where mistakes didn't have consequences. All the missions Steve went on, and therefore Amelia went on, had the potential of ending up dead if one person wasn't careful enough.

Turning around she looked up towards the sky, trying to will some miracle to arrive and save the day, but instead of a remarkable event, she was met with the sight of a blue helicopter taking off and her soldier jumping up and grabbing onto the landing skids. Despite him being a super soldier, she still expected the helicopter to just fly off with him holding onto it but instead of that, somehow, Steve managed to pull the helicopter back down.

With her eyes still locked onto her boyfriend miraculously holding down a helicopter, she threw out her hand and hit Sam repeatedly on the shoulder, trying to get him to look in the same direction she was looking. "What?" He hissed at her, still grumpy from losing the stranger and also not enjoying how hard Amelia was repeatedly hitting him on the same spot on his arm. After turning around though he was forced into silence, mouth falling open as they watched Steve keeping the helicopter from taking off.

Whoever was in the helicopter - Amelia assumed it was Bucky - still put up a fight, trying to pull the helicopter in a different direction but Steve kept his hands tightly sealed around the landing gear. It meant that Steve was being pulled in the other direction as well and for a moment he disappeared from their sights.

Pulling harshly on Sam's sleeve, she began to sprint around the building, trying to reach behind the building as fast as she could in hopes she'd have a better sight of Steve there. Behind the building was was a river that stopped her from reaching any farther but it didn't matter as she easily spotted the blue helicopter once more, the rotary blades spinning persistently but the helicopter was going nowhere as hovering between the building and the helicopter, one hand clasped around the flying vehicle and another holding onto the railing of the building, was her soldier, his muscles bulging as he did something magnificent.

Amelia immediately blamed her erratic hormones, but, looking at him there, all she wanted to do was jump his bones.

That lustful sensation didn't last very quickly though as Bucky forced the helicopter towards Steve instead of away from him. The helicopter's nose slammed into the edge of the helipad, the rotary blades breaking into pieces once they collided with the stone building. Steve disappeared from her vision and instantly worst-case scenarios flew through her head. There was a moment of silence, where nothing moved. And then seconds later, she noticed the helicopter beginning to fall onto the ground. "Steve!" Amelia cried out, trying to run over to the building but Sam stopped her as the helicopter began to fall from the building, both of them spotting Steve's figure attached to it.

The pilot was only trying to save her; If she pursued then Amelia would only end up getting crushed by the helicopter but _she didn't care_. Deep down she knew she should have, she had a baby, she needed to take care of herself better than she was but… it was _Steve_. She couldn't just stand by and watch him die.

Amelia transformed into a wild animal as she began to throw her fists against Sam. If he thought her earlier hits were painful then that moment proved those thoughts spectacularly wrong as she even began to use her nails to scratch his skin, doing anything to cause him pain and make him release her so that she could get to Steve. If Steve left her, then there wouldn't be a her. It was as simple as that. She _needed_ to save him.

But it was too late as the helicopter didn't take into account her obvious panic and fell anyway, crashing down into the river.

"No!" She screamed out, falling to the ground as her legs suddenly felt like jelly. It couldn't be, he couldn't be dead. No. No he wasn't dead. Steve wouldn't just leave her like that. He'd promised to never leave her. He'd promised.

Sam walked cautiously closer to her, kneeling down beside her but keeping his eyes trained on the water. His thoughts were exactly the same. The pilot throwing motivation at the soldier with just his thoughts. Come on, Sam thought, don't leave her like this. But a second turned into a minute and there was still no sight of the soldier coming from the water.

Amelia couldn't breathe. It felt like she was actually dying. Amelia wouldn't have minded so much if she were.

The helicopter had completely sunk to the bottom of the riverbed, along with some other debris that had fallen off the building thanks to the impact of the helicopter against the building. As it sunk, so did their hopes and expectations.

Which meant when two heads did break through the waters suddenly, both Sam and Amelia were surprised at the sight, but it wasn't unwanted. It was like _life_ erupted inside of Amelia as soon as her eyes connected with those beautiful baby blues and she rushed to the edge of the river, holding out her hand and spluttering out sounds as words didn't make any sense to her anymore. All she wanted, all she needed, was to kiss him.

Steve made them get Bucky out of the water first, both Sam and Amelia having to put their all in to try and lift the heavy weight out of the water, it didn't help that he was unconscious and acting as just a sack of stones. Once Bucky was on dry land, Amelia immediately moved to help Steve get out of the waters. He was still trying to get his breath back but the brunette did not care as she attached her lips to his, her hands stroking through his wet hair as she continued to press her lips against every inch of skin on his face.

She was crying, but Steve couldn't really feel the numerous tears falling onto his skin as water already coated him. Still, he allowed her to cover him in kisses and touch him in any way she wanted because Steve felt culpable for putting her in such a position. It was more the guilt that if he had to do it again, he would. He'd always choose to save people, to save his best friend, over stopping her from worrying.

And then she lightly slapped his cheek, doing no damage to him, but getting his attention all the same. "If you ever do that again, I'll kill you," the threat in her words licked at every syllable she pronounced and Steve couldn't help but widen his eyes slightly.

"Yes, Ma'am."

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 **A/N: Fucking website deleted my author's note so I've got to write it again god dammit. Hate it when this happens. I need to go to bed man.**

 **I went and saw Mama Mia today and it was hella funny seeing the dude who plays Howard Stark, Amelia's father, singing Abba songs. Can you imagine if Mia saw it?**

 **To Dezzal, I understand what you mean entirely, and I've stated in the past that I sort of lost my way when it came to the Age of Ultron movie. Part Two is not my proudest moment. I know you've probably stopped reading and aren't going to make it to see my response, which is fine, but I just wanted to say that I'm still grateful for your review and I like to think I've found my way a little better with the story.**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, I understand what you mean entirely! And I wish I could say more but all I can think is spoiler-y things so I can't! I'm sorry! I'm really grateful for the review though!**

 **To kuppcake, I agree with you on that, especially with the real world government thing. I wonder if Donald Trumb became the present in the MCU. I was about to say that Tony Stark should be president (if Donald Trump can do it, Tony can DEFINITELY do it) but then I realised that it probably isn't the best idea, so maybe Pepper Potts? I like that. #PepperPottsForPresident2k18, let's start the movement. And you have to understand that Tony's need to control them stems from fear, as does most peoples hatred of Amelia. For Tony, he's starting to connect the darkness he saw in his vision to the darkness Amelia produced at her birthday party (who knows it might be).**

 **To LoveFiction2018, thank you ^^**

 **To Sam0728, yay for Amelia finally accepting her baby is real! But do we think that the baby will be enough to stop Amelia from being an idiot and risking her life for Steve?**

 **To rosequartz121, I hope you liked the helicopter scene! And ohmygodthankyousomuch that really means a lot to me because one of my biggest fears is that I'm changing too much.**

 **To Pitspee, (I had a really long reply written for you and I apologise if this isn't as good as the first one I did, damn you website!) I agree with ya on the first part, sometimes I feel like just writing a chapter where Nat comes in and slaps them all, then locks them in a room and doesn't let them out until they've all sorted out their issues. Grovelling Steve? There's an idea ;) And the original plan was to have her as Steve's sister, but then I got this idea for angst but it would mean her having her own set of parents.**

 **To BrittStar1199, I agree with everything you've said in this review!**

 **To Assbitch67, ikr I just hope I can keep up with them! And lol, I'm sure as soon as Sharon learns that him and Amelia are an item she'll step back because that girl knows how much of a badass Amelia is and won't want to play with that fire anytime soon.**

 **And a big thank you to everyone that read the chapter! I had a negative review today and it has had me thinking, I'm not so much bothered by it, it was constructive and true in a lot of ways. I feel like with Civil War I've fallen in love with my characters again, maybe it's because of all the drama and angst (which y'all know I'm a hoe for) but I'm enjoying writing every chapter again and I'm so looking forward to the ending. I just wanted to let you guys know that this is a project I am super proud of despite all it's flaws, and I wouldn't be so proud if I didn't have you guys here pushing me to write even when I don't feel like it, helping me stick to the characters, and even making me love them a little more. This isn't perfect, it will never be perfect, but I am trying my best with writing it and making Amelia real. Her struggles are real, I'm writing what I know and most of the time her struggles are a more dramatic version of something I've faced myself. Maybe that is bad writing, maybe this story will teach me not to do that anymore. Idk, like I said, the negative review got me thinking. I'll stop blabbering now, but yeah, thank you for being here with me.**


	85. Chapter Eighty-One

**CHAPTER EIGHTY-ONE**

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" _People are not totally good or bad, black or white - unless we are talking of evil psychos._ _We, human beings, are somewhere between angels and demons. That is what makes us, human beings, lovely imperfect."_

― _**Cristiane Serruya**_

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 _Kill him. That wasn't what AS09's orders were, but it was what she'd made into her orders. At fifteen years old she'd only killed two people, and both of those men hadn't given her much choice but to rip their existence from the world with her bare hands._

 _They just hadn't stopped hurting her. It was constant. The first man had been easy to kill because it was her first kill, she didn't know of the price, she just knew that it was the only way she'd ever be able to stop him from torturing her. Alexander Pierce had come to her after four days of her tortures, bringing with him her first meal in days, and he'd told her that if she really wanted to stop the man with the knife from doing any more she'd need to kill him. He'd never stop until he was dead. She'd waited a few days, unable to bring herself to do it. But after a particularly gruesome day, her body made the decision for her, emptying all emotions from her, her hand reaching for the knife and then stabbing it repeatedly into the agent's body. One hundred and fifty-eight times, that was how many times she'd stabbed him. The entire time AS09 had watched with horror, unable to stop herself, partly not wanting to, and that was the scariest part._

 _The second time she'd killed had been pretty much the same. He was hurting her, and she wanted it to stop. Only, the second time wasn't as simple as the first. AS09 knew then what price she'd have to pay. Her dreams would no longer be a safe escape, instead, they would be filled with his eyes joining her first victims, and peace would become a forgotten thing. She'd let that man hurt her for far longer than was necessary because she didn't want to pay that price. AS09 wanted there to be something left in her that was safe, something left in her that was light despite the red that coated her flesh like a shiny new paint. But AS09 had to give that peace up in the end as she could only last two weeks of the man's torture._

 _It was the second time that she killed that AS09 really changed. The killing didn't seem so daunting after the second time, it had become a simple necessity, as much a necessity as the water and food she ingested every day._

 _The Winter Soldier was going to become her next victim, that she'd promised both herself and her father, Alexander Pierce. Every training session with that executioner would leave her with broken bones and trails of tears and a sense of weakness that was extremely unpleasant. She was going to kill him. She was going to stop him from ever hurting her again._

 _But even with the mantra of 'kill him' repeating over and over and over in her head as malicious whispers, the reality was that Amelia was a fifteen-year-old girl with no extraordinary abilities, and the Winter Soldier was a much older warrior with experience, super soldier serum coursing through his veins, and a metal arm that provided him with more strength and pretty much invincibility against the ordinary brunette._

 _They'd been fighting for two days during that particular training session. It had only taken one to break open AS09's spirit like a coconut, but that coconut was completely dry inside, leaking out nothing but empty air, leaving her broken with no reward. She'd become a vicious animal, her human side completely abandoned as it only made her conscious of the defeat she was facing. She flailed her torn up hands at the man as she stormed over to him for their one-hundredth round._

 _AS09 grabbed a hold of his hair and tugged at it harshly as she pulled herself upwards, her leg forcing its way into his crotch and whilst he was disoriented by that pain she tried to throw her fist at his face. He caught her hand. The Winter Soldier shoved it away and then threw out his metal arm, knocking her back onto the ground and her leg let out a sickening crack. It seemed the limb had finally caved in, having already been causing her a great amount of pain already._

 _When she was younger, maybe she cared more about broken bones, AS09 couldn't really remember those times though. All she remembered was pain and how to stop that pain._

 _Murmurs pass through the crowd standing outside of their cage but neither AS09 nor the Winter Soldier needed to pay attention to them to know what they were saying. She was still weak, still of no use to Hydra. If she couldn't defeat the Winter Soldier then she would never be of use to them. And if she wasn't of use, that only meant more torture for her, more training, more weeks spent in the pit to break her._

 _There was a second-long break between the Winter Soldier and AS09 as they took in what was being said by the officials. They'd come to a unanimous decision that they would give up on AS09 as she was seemingly a lost cause, the fighting style that she'd displayed too loose and theatrical for their liking. That didn't mean they'd let her go though, no, it meant that it was time to kill her._

 _No one in that room had any idea that the Winter Soldier was paying just as much attention as AS09 was, not until he suddenly charged towards AS09, something he'd never done before. Usually, he would just stand at the other end of the cage with an empty expression on his face, awaiting AS09's next feeble attempt of an attack. But not time. The Winter Soldier grabbed her by the neck, pulling her back up onto her feet and then off of the ground entirely, proceeding to push her harshly against the bars of the cage so he could strangle her easily._

 _Automatically her hands reached out and she began to slap against his wrist, knowing full well the weak move was futile. AS09 thought over the situation carefully and quickly. She had around two to three minutes before she'd lose consciousness. The first plan that came to her head was to simply reach out and try to strangle him like he was her, but then it would just become a competition on who'd lose consciousness first and it didn't take a scientist to figure out that it would be her in the end. The next plan that came to her head was that she needed to loosen his grip through a different kind of attack. He was a trained assassin and had one hand free though which meant a simple punch or kick would be both expected and easy to block. She needed to distract him first._

 _AS09 wasted no more time, collecting a wad of spit in her mouth and spitting it into the assassins face, directly into his eyes that he immediately on instinct closed. That was her opening. She threw out her hand and straightened her fist out flat so she could collide the side of her hand into the crook of his neck where there was a weak spot. She'd learned that only the day prior in one of her fighting manuals and the child had immediately noted it down and stuck it to her wall. The Winter Soldier let out a pained yell and instantly cringed his neck, raising his shoulders whilst still wiping away her bloody spit from his eyes. His grip had loosened and it was an opportunity Amelia couldn't afford to miss. Whilst his muscles had unwinded, she wrapped both her hands around the limb and began to spin it harshly around, his hand immediately releasing her neck._

 _She wasn't strong enough to do some amazing flip with the assassin's body, but she could at least kick the back of his leg and get him kneeled down on the floor. AS09 pulled the arm behind his body, hearing a snap and she was daunted momentarily by the pleasure that shook her bones at the sound. She'd hurt him, she'd done damage to him, it was like a dream come true. AS09 should have known by that point though that Hydra didn't make room for other people's dreams, only their own, and in that moment both Bucky and AS09 had betrayed their dream._

 _AS09 hadn't defeated Bucky at all. It was far too obvious for even her to deny. She had barely any hope of defeating him when she was in good health, so it was almost impossible that she'd so easily defeated him when she was slower and had a wound on every inch of her body._

" _Stand apart!" A high ranking Hydra official ordered as soldiers began to leak into the cage, filling up the space and surrounding both AS09 and the Winter Soldier as soon as they'd separated. Their eyes remained locked on one another, the Hydra agents of no importance to them. It wasn't the usual stare of hatred being received by glacial eyes though. That time they stared at each other, AS09 looked to him confused and enraged that he'd simply let her win their duel, whilst the Winter Soldier looked at her with a surprising amount of sympathy curdling in his icy gaze._

" _Take her to the pit."_

 _Punishment. She was being punished for winning the fight, she was being punished because he let her win that fight. AS09 let out a howl as they grabbed at her arms, beginning to pull her out of the cage and towards the empty room with the door on the floor. No. She couldn't go there again. AS09 knew few curses, but the ones she did know were being thrown out in messy Russian as they dragged her from the room._

 _Why had he done it? Why had he let her win the damn fight? She was going to be thrown into the naughty pit again as punishment for his wrongdoing, it was so unfair. AS09 believed that he did it on purpose. That the man who tried to portray himself as empty of all emotions had a little bit of something in him, and that something was sadism. He wanted to hurt her in the worst possible ways. And so far he'd done nothing but succeed at that._

 _But what AS09 had chosen to ignore (because her upbringing had caused her to believe that everyone working for Hydra wanted nothing but to hurt her) was the fact that if they were taking her to the pit, then that meant they'd chosen to let her live another day._

The more Amelia thought over that day, the more she was beginning to realise about the Winter Soldier's behavior. Right before they'd completely dragged her out of the room, she'd heard talk about resetting the assassin. She knew what resetting meant for the Winter Soldier, it was their way of breaking him. Whilst resetting for her was a hole in the ground, for him it was a chair and an emptiness of the mind that spread far and wide like a never ending snow storm. He'd suffered for letting her win, and he must have known that he would suffer for letting her win. The Winter Soldier had used that opportunity to make a show of the fighting skills she did have when she wasn't losing control, and that had been enough to make the Hydra agents decide to keep her.

Maybe it wasn't the Winter Soldier that did that though, maybe it was Bucky breaking through somehow. And if he could do that all those years ago, if Bucky could appear and offer that seed of kindness all those years ago, then that made Amelia believe that the man that was at that moment in a room close to her, metal arm clamped in an industrial vice, was actually Bucky Barnes.

He was also the Winter Soldier though, the same way that Amelia was also AS09, but she was finding it easier to see the difference between the two. Not as much as Steve, who was behaving as though the Winter Soldier was a completely different person to Bucky, much like how he did when it came to her and AS09, but the fact was: _they were the same person._ They had committed foul actions, and those actions were imprinted on their brains for the rest of their lives. They possessed the hands that committed those actions, the lips that agreed to their orders, the feet that walked where they were told. They were the Winter Soldier and Experiment AS09, but they were also James Buchanan Barnes and Amelia Stark. Two lives intertwined into one person, a different kind of human, but human all the same.

"You okay?" Arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her towards the warm and entirely cushion-y chest of Steven Grant Rogers.

At first Amelia hummed, closing her eyes that had been peering through a crack in the door to their hideout, sliding her hands against his arms, and wondering if his arm nearest her belly could feel the way her stomach was beginning to swell. After another second, she whispered out the words: "I'm fine." It was automatic and had already been coined as her go-to phrase whenever anyone would ask if she was okay. She hadn't realised just how much the brunette had been using it though.

Not until Steve, after pressing a lengthy kiss to her neck, sighed against her skin. "You know, no one believes you when you say that, right?"

It was like deja vu for Amelia, beginning to beat up herself internally for constantly using the same exact phrase every time anyone questioned her. She seemed to be only ever capable of making mistakes.

"That sounds like a them problem," she sassed, speaking softly and juxtaposing the words she'd used. It felt like a fight was on the horizon, an inevitable wave that would shake their once strong shack and dampen the wood that held it together. Amelia didn't want to fight with Steve, but such occurrences were as expected as the tide was so Amelia had joined the fight, metaphorically slapping him with a light touch, a pale attempt at defending herself.

Steve sighed as well, not a long and grueling exhale of air, but a short little puff like a dragon pretending to spit out fire, "is it Bucky?" That wasn't the question he wanted to ask. He wanted to ask if it was him, if she'd started seeing him as the problem he was starting to see himself as to her, but Steve was too scared of the answer.

He loved her. More than his shield, more than his own life, _he loved her_. But Steve had never been the type to let something like love stop him from doing his duty and Steve knew that it wouldn't stop because of Amelia either. But oh god, did he love her, and so all he wanted to do was love her until he couldn't anymore.

"It's everything," she muttered, beginning to lean more against Steve, her body pressing against his in a way that, if he were to move away, she would fall to the floor. "The government has a target on all our heads now. Me and Bucky are being seen as threats, and you and Sam as accomplices. I'm trying to figure out how we could get out of this okay and it just doesn't seem possible." That's what had led her to think about Bucky and who he was, hoping that maybe if she could build up a good argument then she could speak to Tony and try to get his help. Though she didn't know how much help she would be able to get from her brother, knowing full well that he would take her disappearance as a sign of what side she'd chosen.

Amelia had fallen back to step one though, completely undecided on the accords, no longer able to pretend that Steve would guide her the right way because the place they were in was undeniably wrong. It was the four of them against the Avengers, they were being hunted down by the people they once called friends. Amelia needed to fix things, but she had no idea where to even start with doing so.

Steve's arms tightened around her waist. He never wanted to let her go. "We'll get through it the same way we get through everything, _together_." Amelia made that same humming noise as before in response, beginning to turn in Steve's arms so that she could rest her head on his chest because whenever she was with Steve so many miraculous things seemed possible.

But in the back of her head there was still that vision of Rebecca with a knowing smile on her lips and a gun to her head, the psychiatrist's words before pulling the trigger a scratching record that replayed repeatedly. 'We're going to break you apart, just like you did my family', that's what she'd said, and then Rebecca had stated that she'd already won. Had she? Was Amelia simply grasping at water, unaware of her lungs filling up with water?

They stayed like that for a while, finding the usual comfort in each other's presence, not taking it for granted as their love seemed to be in short supply lately.

"Hey, guys," they heard Sam called and both immediately split and moved into the other room, knowing that if Sam was calling them that Bucky had finally woken up.

They moved to stand in front of the ex-assassin, wary that he might still be in the mindset of the Winter Soldier. The way he sat drew unwanted pity as he limply presses himself against the industrial vice, sweat leaking from his pores. If it weren't for the metal arm he'd look just like an injured puppy.

His ice blue eyes rose to look at his captors, but he didn't seem to hate them for confining him, he seemed to respect it. He nodded slowly over to her soldier, wary, "Steve." His eyes then moved onto Amelia, and it was clear how he was analysing her but he seemed to decide that she wasn't as much a threat as she used to be "You're honestly the last person I expected to see here," he confessed and Amelia smiled shortly, his comment only making the brunette more proud of herself as it reminded her of just how impossible it had seemed for her to escape Hydra's clutches three years ago.

"I got out," she shrugged.

"So did I, I thought," he replied glumly, looking back down in shame as images flashed behind his eyes of all the things he'd done. It was hard to tell what he'd done, he just saw images of his iron fist colliding with numerous people.

"Which Bucky am I talking to right now?" Steve interrogated, trying to keep his tone free of the sympathy he felt like spider webs scratching at his skin.

"This is your Bucky," Amelia answered for her soldier's friend, easily able to recognise the different mindsets as she'd experienced them herself. Knowing that it was important to hear it from his own mouth though, she turned to Bucky and encouraged him to answer as well, "right?"

She'd shown her support of him to encourage Steve and Sam to believe him, but that wouldn't be enough, which is why she'd requested he say something. It was time for him to prove himself and it felt a lot easier knowing that he already had the fellow experiment on his side. Bucky turned to Steve. "Your mum's name was Sarah, and you used to wear newspapers in your shoes," the memories were the freshest in his head, first coming to him when he went to Captain America's museum, he'd felt like the man they displayed was simply a shell, and then he'd suddenly been able to recall the man beneath the mask.

Remembering people was always the easiest part for Bucky, but remembering himself, who he was, _what_ he was. That was something which took a lot more time and effort.

Sam looked over at Steve, waiting for his leader to confirm or deny what Bucky had said. "Can't read that in a museum," was Steve's eventual response as a smile broke out on his face. He finally had his best friend back.

The pilot wasn't so sure though, still apprehensive of the man that was a complete stranger only to him between the three of them. He stepped closer to Amelia and Steve, moving in between them and opening his arms out in a gesture that stated 'come on, guys? Really?' But he received a simple raised eyebrow from Amelia who, unlike him, seemed to have no issue with believing the ex-Hydra agent. "Just like that, we're supposed to be cool?" Sam continued to push.

Amelia rolled her eyes, "he's just like me Sam, and you were alright with me when we first met."

"You didn't shoot a rocket launcher at me when we first met," the pilot readily argued, crossing his hands over his chest and Amelia mirrored the movement.

"I could have though," she jested, her face cracking open in a wide smile, "besides, we all know you're just embarrassed by how easily you got knocked out in your fight earlier."

Despite the serious nature of the situation, it was nice to have Amelia joking with him again and he fell into his old habits, his arms falling down to his side as he puffed out his chest in mock confidence. "You want to start something, lil Stark?"

She cackled openly, "no, but I'll finish it."

Neither of them were aware of Bucky watching them, feeling slightly amazed at how confident Amelia seemed around the people, and how friendly they were towards her. She really had gotten out of Hydra, making her own family. It was a tad daunting to see Steve and Amelia together, it was like two worlds colliding, but it wasn't so much a surprise when he remembered how great Steve was at bringing the best out of people. Though the match might have not made sense to him first, it started to the more he mulled over it. Plus, he'd always known that Steve had a thing for powerful women, and if Amelia was anything, she was a powerful woman. At least in his eyes.

"Guys, focus," Steve reminded them, though he was smiling too at their behavior which only confirmed Bucky's suspicions that they were perfect for each other.

Despite the happy thoughts over Steve finding his perfect girl, Bucky couldn't forget that he'd been the Winter Soldier again, and normally that meant only one thing. "Did I kill anyone?" His gravelly voice broke through the air of glee that had formed due to Sam and Amelia's playful fight, his words enough to make everyone's smile melt down into straight lines.

Amelia's lips fell further down into a frown and she cocked her head to the side as she addressed the ex-assassin softly. "You don't remember?" That was one of the few differences between AS09 and the Winter Soldier, whilst Amelia was cursed with remembering every dark deed she ever did, Bucky couldn't remember, all he'd know is that he'd done something bad and that was equally as harrowing.

"Sort of, it's a bit of a blur…" He sighed, tears prickling his eyes as he tried to focus on the few images he had in his head, incapable of focusing them and building memories from them but it was of no use, just like when he was trying to remember Bucky's old life before Hydra.

"You did enough, let's just leave it at that," Amelia chose not to lie to him because she knew he simply wouldn't have believed her.

"Oh, god. I knew this would happen," he pushed his head against his vibranium arm, covering his tears fuelled by self-hatred from their eyes, "everything Hydra put inside me is still there. All he had to do was say the goddamn words."

"Who was he?" Steve asked, referring to the psychologist that had unlocked the Winter Soldier.

"I don't know," he answered, sounding just as frustrated as the rest of them felt.

"But I do," Amelia answered, feeling of use as she turned her entire body to face her lover, "Steve, he worked with Rebecca and Aaron. Whatever he's been planning, he's been working on it for a long time."

"That doesn't make sense though," Steve's eyebrows pushed together into a straight line, "what does what Rebecca wanted revenge for, have to do with him? Why would that make him kill people, set off a bomb, create this elaborate set up, all for ten minutes with Buck?"

"He's not a doctor," Amelia held out a finger, correcting Steve and building up the theory she'd spent the past two hours forming.

"But you just said he worked with Rebecca."

"Yeah, but not like that. He's more of a soldier than a doctor, I can see it in the way he stands, in the way he fights. He's a soldier for sure, or something similar to one. When I said that he worked with Rebecca and Aaron, I mean that he helped them create their plan to get me to turn sides." That suggestion seemed to be completely unexpected and it made Amelia realise that she'd never actually told him about what Rebecca had said before killing herself, which was strange to the brunette as she automatically presumed that she told the soldier everything. Wanting to move on from that, she ran her hand through her hair, focusing her mind back on the stranger. "But still… why me and Bucky? Why is he targeting us?"

"Well let's think on what you have in common?" Steve suggested, the two beginning to bounce ideas between each other before settling on the most obvious, and what could possibly be considered as the most important. "You're both enhanced individuals, that used to work for Hydra."

"But if he wanted to utilize our powers then he wouldn't have so easily just left us here," Amelia pondered in return, shaking her head, feeling like there was something they were missing. No, it was something _she_ was missing.

"It's because we're tarnished," Bucky spoke up, throwing his own idea out into the open cautiously, not sure if his comment would be welcome.

But both Steve and Amelia gave him their full attention, Sam giving the ex-assassin only the side-eye, it was Amelia that eagerly asked him to continue, "what?"

He looked up through loose bits of his hair, seeming far too shy considering how large the man was, acting the complete opposite of the Winter Soldier but that only made it easier for her to separate him from her life-long tormentor. "We've spent years away from Hydra now," he began, "we've become different people, been tainted by other humans. We're not just cold killers that can be easily used anymore, so he doesn't want us."

The puzzle pieces fell into place for Amelia, but it still felt like only one of the puzzles, she had a feeling that the stranger was creating many more than they were aware of yet. "Oh, shit," she gaped, remembering something in particular from her past, something that Steve knew scared her as she turned to look at the soldier once again with alarm denting her expression.

"What?" Steve asked, stepping closer to her and putting a hand on her arm, a simple gesture that didn't go unnoticed by Bucky. It wasn't just a simple gesture, from what Bucky remembered, Steve used to be very shy around women and would struggle with even holding their hand. It was nice to see him so comfortable with someone.

"If Bucky's right, then what he'll be looking for is fresh soldiers, just as powerful as us, but with all of Hydra's influence still stuck in them," Amelia explained, her eyes looking into the distance as she was haunted by her old training partners. They were so unhinged that Pierce only let her fight them once. Turning back to Bucky she took a step forward, desperation laced with her question, "please tell me he didn't ask about Siberia."

"He wanted to know where we used to be kept, he wanted to know _exactly_ where," Bucky detailed, confirming whatever it was Amelia had been imagining.

With one hand still attached to her arm, he rubbed up against her bicep gently as he also turned to Bucky to ask a question. "Why would he need to know that?"

"Because I'm not the only Winter Soldier," Bucky explained.

"And I'm not the only experiment," Amelia sighed, clearly upset by her realisation of what the stranger was going after.

"There's more of you?" Sam scoffed towards Bucky, clearly not overjoyed at the concept.

"Way more," Amelia unfolded, sliding her hand out of Steve's grasp enough that she could hold his hand herself, another gesture that was nothing to the two of them but extremely meaningful to Bucky. "They were an elite death squad with more kills than anyone in Hydra's history - excluding myself of course - and that was before they even got the serum."

"They all turn out like Tarzan over here?" Sam queried, nodding over to the confined ex-assassin.

"I'd say worse," Amelia mumbled, looking apologetically over to Bucky and hoping that he'd understand she meant it with how evil they'd become.

He showed he did comprehend her point by doing a swift nod of his head, "agreed."

"The doctor- or soldier-" Steve began, having to correct himself after remembering what Amelia had described.

Before he could continue though, Amelia interrupted, throwing her hand up like she was some sort of child in a school. "I vote we call him Nutsack until we find out his real name, all those in favour?" To Steve's surprise, both Sam and Bucky slowly raised their hands up to join in her motion.

Rolling his eyes at their childish behaviour that Amelia had instigated, he chose to move on from it, they didn't have much time to stay inside of the warehouse as they were too close to the bunker still. They needed to organize themselves and then get out of dodge. Plus, Steve was far too used to her behaving that way for it to really bother him anymore, and sometimes she really did come up with great nicknames. "Alright so… _Nutsack_ , would he be able to control them?"

"Enough," Bucky responded critically.

"He did say he wanted to watch an empire fall, and with those guys… Steve, I think Nutsack could really do it. I mean, I could barely defeat them." She could barely defeat Bucky as well. Amelia hoped that maybe now she knew more about her powers that she'd be able to kill them all, but the brunette remained disbelieving, doubting the strength she possessed despite all the amazing things she'd used her powers to do.

"They speak thirty languages, can hide in plain sight, infiltrate, assassinate, destabilize, they can take a whole country down in one night. You'd never see them coming," Bucky listed to them, making sure they truly knew how dangerous they were.

"This would have been a lot easier a week ago," Sam sighed, mumbling to the soldier and the psychic, trying to keep Bucky out of their conversation.

"If we call Tony…" Steve started to suggest but never finished his sentence.

"Then he won't help us," Amelia finished for him, saddened at the thought but not able to deny it, "in his point of view we've wronged him too many times, and said no to his help in possibly the worst way. He isn't going to jump at the chance to help us out again anytime soon."

"And even if he did want to help us…" Sam continued.

"The accords probably wouldn't let him." Steve ended Sam's sentence, nodding his head as the trio came to a decision on it.

Amelia wasn't so sure about that anymore. At first she did agree with them, but then, they didn't really know all that much about the accords because they'd dismissed it so soon. Nutsack was a threat, a huge one, the kind of threat that the accords would probably demand all hands on deck for.

"We're on our own," their leader decided.

Sam lifted his lip sideways in thought, "maybe not, I think I know a guy that could help us."

"And what about you?" Amelia questioned, turning back to Bucky who looked at her in seeming confusion. The brunette didn't back down though, choosing to show him the same kindness Steve had when they'd met. She was going to give him a chance. She walked closer, kneeling in front of him. "You're Bucky now, not the Winter Soldier, and I know that Bucky wanted a secluded life. So we can drop you off, we might need you to tell us a few things, but other than that we'll try to find you somewhere safe to hide out. Or, you can reunite with your best friend, and help us fight this threat, maybe clear your name. Maybe worsen your name." She wasn't going to lie to him; Things were about to get incredibly difficult for all of them and Amelia knew if she told Bucky the opposite than he just wouldn't believe her.

Steve was staring at Amelia with true adoration leaking from his blue iris' like the summer rain that had always been encapsulated in them. She was giving him a chance. It was a humungous declaration to just how far she'd come from being AS09, a girl who didn't even think _she_ deserved a chance, let alone another Hydra assassin. He wished the whole world could be there to witness it, to see his girl become a shining star of hope for another broken warrior, maybe then they'd finally realise that she wasn't all glass shards and gunshot breaths.

"You're right, Bucky does want seclusion. But he also wants a peaceful life. I can't have that when those soldier's get awakened," he gave her a determined nod, then looking to Steve in hope that his old best friend would still accept his assistance, "I'd like to help."

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 **A/N: I really love this chapter. Like, so much. I love how Amelia gave him a chance, I love that she managed to get Steve to say 'nutsack' and yeah, it ended up mostly being me pointing out character development which I don't like so much but the things that happened I quite enjoyed.**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, happy to hear it! I'm glad they're both beginning to realise how dependent they were on one another, it's been something I've hinted at ever since Age of Ultron but now it's become a much bigger deal. You'll really see why soon ^^ And don't worry, sometimes I can get down but I try ma best to be positive, plus y'all make it pretty easy to stay positive. I am very proud of this, I've surpassed every other story I've ever done with both quality and quantity, I've bonded with a character for the first time, and the plot is so exciting for me that I can't wait to get it written. Thank you for the kind review!**

 **To CrackHeadBlonde, Steve can definitely be my daddy any day of the week... sorry I got distracted, what were we talking about? Right, yes, he is a father, must not forget that lol.**

 **To Assbitch67, this was a beautiful read and from an Author's perspective, very good writing, do you write stories of your own cause that is one hell of a metaphor and I feel very touched that you've written it about Amelia. But yes, I one hundred percent agree with you and it's the way I've always viewed depression. I suffer from it, and sure I can laugh at jokes, hell I can have full on tears in my eyes, wide smiles, laughs but it doesn't stop the depression from being there. I'm glad you see that it's ten times worst for Amelia, because that's something I have to remind myself, the girl has been through so much terribleness and pain and it's a wonder that some chapters she even manages a smile. But that's cause she's a fighter, another important part to her character. Despite every bad thing that comes her way, she fights it, she forces herself to be okay, sometimes to a fault. But she's a fighter, and it's what I aspire to be too. And thank you for being so nice with your review, I appreciate it a lot (but also don't apologise for long ass reviews!)**

 **To Pitspee, lollllll, I had the scene playing whilst I wrote it so yeah, the heroic music is definitely there lol. Aye, Steve is a very traditional guy, the type to ask a woman to marry them if he found out they were pregnant (I'm mentioning that for no reason whatsoever), and I'm trying to keep that in but obviously the whole sex thing happened and I like to think of it as progress for the character rather than bad character writing? I loved that line about the yin and yang btw, can I use that?**

 **To Sam0728, Amelia needs a good talking to by Nat lol. Glad you enjoyed the chapter, hope this one was good!**

 **To rosequartz121, thank you so much! I'm SUPER happy you feel that way :)**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, glad ya enjoyed it ^^**

 **To BrittStar1199, once again I agree with ya, Amelia has a lot of growing up to do, she's spent the past three years being the child she could never be but now she's a mother. Of course, she has a lot to learn about that role as well, but I know she'll be a brilliant mum because she knows exactly what NOT to do as a parent. And the girls got so much love in her, that child will never feel lonely.**

 **To LoveFiction2018, you reviewed just in time! I was about to upload the chap when I saw you reviewed lol. Thank you!**

 **To everyone that read the chapter, THANK YOU!**


	86. Chapter Eighty-Two

**CHAPTER EIGHTY-TWO**

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"I don't care about whose DNA has recombined with whose. When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching - they are your family."

― **Jim Butcher**

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Tony sat with his upper body leaning heavily back onto the office chair, trying to rest his weary bones that had taken quite the hit after he'd faced Bucky. He'd chosen not to bring his suit to show good faith to the accords, but once the Winter Soldier got free Tony realised how dumb that was. He should have at least brought a spare suit in a briefcase or something, just an 'in case'. Bad things always happened to him at inconvenient times, like Amelia's birthday party.

His hand had taken a hit and Tony couldn't stop feeling it, there was a pain that just didn't seem to fade and he knew he should have gone to see a doctor about it, but the billionaire had more pressing matters that needed his supervision. Like where his sister was, to Tony that was the most important thing. Among all the uproar caused by the Winter Soldier, his sister had somehow gotten out of her cage, there were no signs of her removing the handcuffs which led him to presume she was still wearing them and had some kind of assistance when escaping. Steve and Sam were also gone, along with a destroyed helicopter, so Tony presumed that maybe she'd joined them. He hoped that she'd joined them because then his younger sister would be much easier to find.

Friday was already working through the computers, trying to find the corrupted visual recordings belonging to the bunkers cameras. He was hoping that they'd be able to collect enough clues from what few clips they'd be able to get, the power cut most likely ensuring that there would be some moments they wouldn't get to see. Her leaving with Sam and Steve was the most obvious concept, but Tony still wanted to make sure.

From across the hallway leading into the surveillance room that Tony was sat in minding his wounds, an unwelcome face entered, an unwelcomed face that seemed to perpetually have a frown on it. "Your sisters really done it this time," Secretary Ross growled, huffing and reminding Tony of the way he used to huff when his daddy didn't buy him the things he wanted.

"It wasn't Amelia that did this," Tony quickly argued, his protectiveness over his sister rescinding whatever defense he'd made up for Steve, "it was Barnes, he managed to get out and Steve followed."

"So did she, so she's just as guilty as Captain America," Ross battled back, clearly unwilling to let Amelia get away with anything else and following the same assumption Tony had that she'd chosen to leave with the soldier because the brunette simply couldn't live without him. Thaddeus Ross had had his eye on emancipating the ex-assassin ever since she first joined the Avengers, only able to see the threat that she carried with her which even Tony had to admit was an outshining factor on his sister. That threat loomed over him just as much as it did Ross, especially because of the vision he'd had which suggested she played a part in ending the Avengers. The difference between Ross and Tony though, was that Tony actually cared about Amelia and still wanted to see her happy.

Maybe if he didn't then it would be easier to capture and immobilize her.

That's when the gruesome thought occurred to Tony. That maybe, in order to protect Mia, he needed to stop acting like her brother. It was certainly something he'd have to think long and hard about later, but before he even faced his sister again he needed to make sure that she had a chance of survival. Tony wasn't even sure what he'd do if the accords dictated that Amelia Stark needed to be exterminated, and the billionaire didn't want to dwell on the idea either. He'd lost enough family.

"I don't suppose you have any idea where they are?" Ross continued, speaking down on Tony in a condescending voice that was like nails scraping against wood for the billionaire who was still getting used to people giving him orders.

"We will," he vowed, showing off his confidence and making sure that Ross knew he wasn't just another toy soldier, he was a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist and so much more. "GSG-9's got the borders covered. Recon's flying 24/7. They'll get a hit and we'll handle it."

Immediately Ross began to throw his head from side to side, "you don't get it, Stark, it's no longer yours to handle. It's clear you can't be objective, especially because of your sister being one of them. I'm putting Special Ops on this."

Natasha - who had been standing to the side trying her best to behave despite not liking neither the billionaire's or the Secretary's ideas of detaining their friends - stood away from the chair she'd been leaning on, stepping forward into their conversation, "what happens when the shooting starts? What, do you kill Steve Rogers?" She was trying to go for the political view rather than the emotional one, hoping Ross would be able to understand her point better if she didn't simply yell out 'you're not hurting my friends'.

"If we're provoked," Ross replied, glaring back at the redhead and making it clear he saw straight through her attempts to stop his decision, "Barnes would have been eliminated in Romania if it wasn't for Rogers, and Amelia would have- _should_ have been detained months ago but you put a stop to that. There is now a line of dead people who would be alive and breathing right now. Feel free to check my math." He'd become cocky again, and they all knew if Amelia was there she would have slapped the smirk off his lips the second she saw it. It was probably a good thing that she wasn't there really.

"All due respect, you're not going to solve this with boys in bullets, Ross. You've got to let us bring them in," despite their previous betrayal, both Tony and Natasha were still fighting for their happy ending, or the closest one they could get. Because Steve and Amelia were family, and good people. Good people who'd ended up stumbling onto the wrong path, and because of their relation to the Avengers, it was up to those left on the good path (the path of the accords) to help give them directions.

Ross still looked unconvinced though, his arms wrapped across his chest, his bushy moustache doing nothing to keep his displeased expression undetected. "How would that end any differently from the last time?"

"Because this time, I won't be wearing loafers and a silk shirt," Tony explained, stopping himself from touching his hand anymore, trying to hide the injury from Ross so that he could build more confidence in the Secretary. "72 hours, guaranteed."

Ross was silent for a moment, blossoming hope in both Natasha and Tony because at least the Secretary was finally giving their proposal some thought rather than outright denying it. Ross knew that they were right. It was less likely that Steve and his ragtag team would put up a fight when they were facing their friends. Especially Amelia. Despite the image Ross had in his head of the psychic being a cold-blooded monster, it was a known fact that she cared greatly for those close to her, it was the most common reason behind her losing control of her powers. If he did take Tony up on his offer, then he wouldn't just be going for the easy route, Ross would also be going for less damage to civilians which was one of the more greater aspects of their fight that he needed to take into consideration.

"36 hours," he eventually decided, giving them at least a chance, "Barnes. Rogers. Wilson. And your sister."

"Thank you, sir," Tony expressed his gratitude with an added sprinkling of respect, something not often displayed by the billionaire but he was trying to get Ross to trust him and Tony could easily see that the one thing that Secretary Ross deemed likable was people respecting him. The Secretary gave a curt nod, still not looking confident in their plan, but he'd made a decision and he liked to think of himself as the type of man who always stood by his decisions. As Ross began to turn away though, Tony suddenly reached out his hand to stop him, the billionaire ignoring the way his wrist ached uncomfortably due to the rapid movement. "One more thing."

Ross openly sighed, already knowing what Tony was going to say even though Tony hadn't known what he was going to ask until his hand had suddenly reached out. "I've given your sister plenty of chances," Ross explained, "no more."

"I get that, I do," he sounded desperate, more than he'd expected to, "so I'm not asking that you give her another chance, all I'm asking is that once we've got her detained that we don't put her in a prison. She's already been through enough."

"So, what do you want to do?" Thaddeus released a low chuckle, humouring the billionaire, "you just want us to give Steve and Amelia some nice little cottage out of the way from everybody for them to live a life in peace, never paying for their crimes?" The idea was preposterous, especially after everything that had just occurred with Bucky and her involvement in protecting and escaping the fugitive.

"I didn't say anything about Steve," Tony's statement was met with raised eyebrows from both the Secretary and Natasha.

"It doesn't matter, Amelia has still committed plenty of crimes herself." Tony was basically asking the man to give up what his career had been wrapped around for the past year, stopping the threat that was Amelia Stark. Ross had been courteous and given the brunette more chances than she actually deserved because he wanted to make sure that Tony was on their side when the accords came through, he'd known (but hoped otherwise) that Amelia wouldn't sign the accords, Ross had always known that she'd be a challenge. It was a challenge he'd planned for almost obsessively. Turning what was at first a personal distaste into his civic duty. Spinning his body back so he was fully facing Stark once again, Ross reached out to pat Tony graciously on the shoulder, trying to display some sort of friendliness so that Tony wouldn't take his refusal as malice towards the billionaire. All it was, was Ross doing his job. "You're emotionally involved," Ross continued, voice turning more gentle and less aggressive, "she's your sister, I understand that you want to protect her. But this is about what is _right_ , Mr. Stark."

"You're right I am probably saying this because I'm her brother, but it's because I'm her brother that I know what's right for her," it was something Tony had decided when first being told that Amelia had escaped the bunker. The billionaire had immediately blamed himself for not doing his job as her brother, _her protector,_ keeping Amelia from making great mistakes. He refused to do it anymore because the brunette was the only family he had left, and he wasn't going to let her make the same stupid mistakes he used to, and ruin a life she'd only just gotten, because of it. "Amelia has only ever had a life of fighting, she's only just gotten free of Hydra who tortured her _every single day_ of her life, made her do unimaginable things, destroyed her, and then immediately after she's gone into another life of fighting. What she needs is peace. It doesn't have to be a farm, I'm not asking that she get a palace. But anywhere would be better than a prison, you put her in a prison and she'll just become more and more problematic."

Ross was listening to him, not just dismissing it right away, that pushed Tony to continue his thoughts and bargain something he felt very guilty for: "We'll get them, and you can have Steve, and Barnes, and Sam. All I'm asking is that you give my sister the opportunity to have something she's never had. A normal life." It felt like a humongous price, a price that would weigh over Tony's head for the rest of his life, but the billionaire still hoped that he'd somehow manage to get Steve to sign the accords as well as give his sister the life she deserved. If Steve did sign those accords and stayed on the team than maybe they'd be able to work some way out for him to still see her, though Tony would obviously try and make the visits few and far between. Natasha was glaring at him, and he could feel it burn through his skin like the way acid melted metals.

"We get to question her first," Ross answered with a sigh, "and if she refuses that life, then Amelia Stark belongs to The Raft. Deal?" Secretly, he knew that he'd end up getting her anyway, believing the same thing that Natasha was in that moment. That Amelia would never leave Steve's side.

"Deal," Tony agreed eagerly and Ross slowly nodded his head, still mulling over the concept Tony had thrown his way, wondering if he'd made the right decision.

Maybe it would be for the best, and maybe Tony really was right about Amelia wanting a life of peace after living through so much fighting, so much _death_. Ross remembered for a second, and for the first time in a long time, that Amelia Stark was a human and an American citizen. A human being damaged by evil and only just beginning to see the light. Maybe she could be saved after all. But it all depended on whether or not she'd choose to be saved, or like a lotus eater, be too hooked on Captain America to see any other life.

Once Ross was gone, Natasha began her own discussion with Tony, tone filled with disapproval. "You really think she's going to take your deal?" All the red-head had wanted was to keep the team together, and she thought that Tony was working along that same conquest but after hearing his latest plan she wasn't so sure anymore. There was a part of her that knew he was right about Amelia, but she still didn't agree with the way he was going towards succeeding that life for Amelia.

"Sure. Mia's said it plenty of times, she wants to live somewhere peaceful and with less fighting," he shrugged, relaying the information Nat had already heard plenty of times straight from Amelia's mouth. After a few months of being with Steve, Amelia had started to talk repeatedly about wanting somewhere like Clint's farm with Steve and living a normal human life. Natasha had never wanted to state the obvious, that Steve didn't want the same thing, because she didn't want to break her best friends heart like that. Everyone should have a dream, even if it's unattainable.

"Sorry, let me rephrase my question, do you really think she's going to leave Steve?" Nat pushed, wanting to make sure that Tony had actually thought through all the 'if's and 'but's of his plan.

"I'm not going to give her a choice," was the billionaire's swift and stoney response, a vow not only to Natasha but to himself. He was going to protect her.

Wanting to change from the serious, and rather depressing, subject of his sister's future, Tony brought his hand back up and returned to squeezing on the aching muscles, trying to recreate a very pleasant massage he'd once had in hopes that it would ease some of the pain. He held it up for Nat, directing her attention to the limb before stating: "my left arm is numb, is that normal?"

She gave him a short smile and patted his shoulder much like how Ross had done earlier, only it was a more comforting gesture coming from Natasha. "This is going to be a tough one," she reminded him, envisioning what would be to come.

"I know right," he agreed, no longer trying to feign confidence, "Thirty-six hours as well, jeez."

"We're seriously understaffed," Nat commented.

"Oh yeah, it'd be great if we had a Hulk right about now. Any shot?"

The redhead shook her head and smiled a little at the mention of her favourite green giant, "no, do you really think he'd be on our side?"

"No." Banner would have seen the same reasons that Amelia first had, that the government would want to detain him, or use his powers for something he didn't agree with.

"I have an idea," Natasha chimed as Tony was standing up from his chair and retrieving his suit jacket, one that had been ruined by the fight and was no longer useable.

"Me too, where's yours?" Tony didn't get the feeling that they were talking about the same person, they couldn't be, because no one else but Amelia knew about a particular teenager in New York he'd been keeping his eye on.

"Downstairs… where's yours?" Natasha questioned, clueing onto the fact that they weren't thinking about the same people as well. Tony didn't responded, just smiled secretly, beginning to plan how he'd get the teenager on his team. The billionaire also couldn't help but dwell over the fact that Amelia was not going to be happy with him. When she'd found out that a super powered teenager had peaked Tony's interest she'd given him strict rules to not bring the boy into any of his fights, not wanting another child (in her eyes) to have to go through something that would break their innocence like hers had.

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 **A/N: Just a little clarification for that quote at the start, this quote does not mean that Tony isn't Amelia's family. It means he's more Amelia's family than anyone, because he will always stand by her side. Just felt like I needed to specify that.**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, oh man just you wait until chapter 84, if you loved the Bucky/Amelia bonding moment in the last chapter you'll want to marry chapter 84. I want to marry chapter 84 tbh. No, no I just want to marry Bucky actually.**

 **To Sam0728, yay for Amelia growing up and maturing!**

 **To LoveFiction2018, gracias!**

 **To Assbitch67, I'm so glad that didn't come across as cringy or anything! It was getting annoying for me to keep calling him 'the stranger' cause no one knows his name, so I was just like 'YOU KNOW WHAT?! NUTSACK. THAT'S HIS NAME NOW!' You got any stories I could check out? I've been looking for something new to read. I went through a phase of Star Trek fanfiction but, alas, my love for Spock has faded (until I go through the phase again probably next year). And also 'forever reading my story'? I know this story is most likely gonna end up over 120 chapters but I'm sorry to say it won't last forever. I will be writing other stories though. I'm hoping my next project will be a Bucky fanfiction.**

 **To Pitspee, there's a scene coming up where Bucky and Amelia are chatting and being buddy buddy but you don't actually hear what they're talking about, but whilst I was writing it I imagined them doing exactly what you wrote, so I guess consider it canon in this fanfic. AND HONESTLY I HADN'T THOUGHT ABOUT LUMBERJACK STEVE BUT NOW IT'S ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT LIKE HOW DARE YOU**

 **And a big thanks to everyone that read the chapter! What do we think of Tony's new plan?**


	87. Chapter Eighty-Three

**TRIGGER WARNING: includes sexual content around the middle of the chapter**

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 **CHAPTER EIGHTY-THREE**

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"Though I may seem at times somewhat distant from you, through the grey mist of my own moods, I am never far; my thoughts always circle around you."

― **Friedrich Nietzsche**

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It had been ten hours. Ten hours of riding in a car with Steve, Sam and Bucky. It wouldn't have been so hard for Amelia if Steve hadn't chosen the smallest car Amelia had ever seen to drive in. She'd not been very amused when he arrived at the warehouse with the tiny blue beetle, especially because before he'd left she'd even said to him: "Get a car that's not too flashy, preferably something black."

He had immediately responded with an, "I know what I'm doing." But she'd clearly overestimated his abilities. They didn't have time to go out again and get a different car either, they'd stayed in that warehouse for far too long and were all very aware that at any moment the special forces would enter it to inspect the place, there were also numerous helicopters passing by in the sky and there was no way for them to know whether the helicopter was using thermal imaging. Mistakes could not be afforded and all four of them had to remain on guard.

The four of them were almost professional as they rushed themselves into the car and out of the city, their plan was simple: get to the closest airport, get to Siberia, and stop Nutsack from unleashing the rest of the Winter Soldier's onto the world.

Things fell apart quickly once they were inside of the car though. Sam and Bucky had ended up sitting in the back after Amelia called shotgun, and it took only an hour of peaceful silence before the two began to whine, acting more like children than actual adults as they restlessly shuffled in the back seat and complained about anything and everything they could find. There wasn't enough room. It was too warm. Bucky was taking up two seats with his 'fat ass'. Sam smelt really bad. The insults became more and more petulant, forcing both Amelia and Steve to act as the parents, at one point the soldier even threatened to stop the car completely until they made friends. It had been enough to organise ten minutes of peaceful quietness before they started again, because Sam's feet were starting to hurt and it was clearly Bucky's fault, not Steve's for getting such a tiny car.

"Right, enough!" Amelia had screamed, bashing her hand aggressively on to her seat as she turned around to face both the metal-armed giant and the pilot, looking at them as though they were more irritating children than esteemed fighters. "There are people dying in the world right now and you're whining about your feet, get some perspective. Now, Steve _is_ going to stop at a motel because if I have to bare an entire night of you two then I really _will_ lose control. If you two can manage to not argue from now until we get to the motel, then I'll get you separate motel rooms. If not, then you'll only get one, and it's gonna have one bed in it as well. Got it?"

Authority had leaked from her tone respectfully and the rumbling anger vibrating her tone had caused both Sam and Bucky to sit up straighter in their seats. They'd gone silent, only acknowledging her orders with slight nods of her head. Amelia turned back in her seat with a satisfied expression on her face, eventually noticing the way Steve kept glancing at her. "What?" She questioned, looking back at him.

"Nothing," he mumbled, trying to keep his eyes on the road but like a moth to a flame, his eyes continued to stray back over to her, "It's just… nothing, nevermind." _It's just that seeing her control the two of them threw ideas of her as a mother in his head,_ and those thoughts were surprisingly nice for the soldier to imagine. The only reason Steve didn't want to say that to her was because he didn't want to start obsessing over the idea of having children with the brunette as it was something he didn't see happening any time soon. It couldn't. Their lives were too full of battles and it would be cruel to bring a child into their lives when they were both too busy with missions. Of course the soldier wanted kids, but he'd decided a long time ago that if he ever did have kids then it would only be during a time of complete peace for both him and the world.

Amelia shrugged her shoulders and faced the road again, doing her best to hide the way her hand had splayed out against her stomach, feeling the life inside of herself, hearing that bittersweet heart beat pounding away.

She'd been frightened after waking up from the drug induced sleep Nutsack had forced on her, dreading that he might have used a drug which would also affect her baby, but their heartbeat was still going strong and it brought more comfort than she'd been expecting. She'd really started to care for the child inside of her. After finally accepting that they were there, a newfound protectiveness had grown in her, and her fear had also tripled as well. Amelia was still unsure whether the baby was a good thing or a bad thing, every bone in her body told her it was good, but her thoughts were negative and betrayed that ideal with whispers of how it would ruin her and Steve's relationship, and how if she did have the child, then Amelia would ruin that life because she didn't know the first thing about being a mother.

Those thoughts repeated over and over in her mind until Steve found a motel a good enough distance away from the city they'd escaped from and the airport they were going to. The soldier didn't bother arguing with Amelia about her decision to stop at a motel, he could see how tired she was and really he felt the exact same way. He _had_ just stopped a helicopter from taking off, after all, and that does tend to take it out of a person quite a bit.

Sam and Bucky had managed to stay quiet for an entire two hours, but during the last thirty minutes of their travel to the motel, Sam had made a comment about Bucky purposefully shoving him against the window (Bucky argued back that he was simply sitting, it wasn't his fault that he was built larger than the pilot) and Amelia had snapped at them, telling them to enjoy their shared quarters.

Steve was the one who ended up buying the motel room keys and they'd both tried to convince him to get them seperate rooms but he'd told them that Amelia had already decided that they'd have a shared room. This obviously earnt him some backlash, Bucky basically calling him whipped but the soldier was so amused by their petulant grumpiness that their comments didn't even phase him. Amelia had immediately grabbed her key from Steve and left to their bedroom, stopping their argument altogether as the trio noticed the frown deepening on her face.

It had seemed out of nowhere. Her usual reaction to Bucky and Sam arguing was frustration, but she looked suddenly sad, and it wouldn't have been so concerning if Amelia would have taken the time to actually tell them what was wrong with her. The car ride was the perfect opportunity. However, it wasn't just her inner demons that were making her mood sour anymore, she also had a baby that she was somehow meant to tell Steve about, and her anxiety over explaining all those things to her lover were preventing her from even thinking about the subject.

Soon, that's what Amelia told herself. Just like how she'd told herself she would soon tell Steve about her black powers, and how she would soon become a couple with Steve after officially leaving Hydra. Amelia's definition of 'soon' was clearly different from everyone else's.

"Is she okay?" Bucky questioned quietly to Steve as all three men watched the brunette enter her motel room, the brunette's head hanging low on her shoulders.

Steve's lips tightened as he tried to think of the right answer, a simple no wasn't complicated enough. Amelia wasn't okay, he knew that much, but why exactly was where Steve became a little lost. He didn't know if she was sad, or angry, or scorned. It was becoming harder and harder to get her to talk to him and it was starting to make him feel like a terrible boyfriend when in reality it was all because Amelia just didn't have the confidence to share her demons with anyone else.

Looking over to his best friend, he noticed that Bucky looked oddly concerned. Maybe it wasn't odd, but Steve just hadn't been expecting his best friend to care enough about Amelia when they'd only really interacted for a few hours. Of course they'd known each other longer, having 'worked' together when they were in Hydra but Steve knew that their time there wasn't pleasant and definitely not something which would inspire care from the metal-armed giant. Was there something he was missing?

The soldier clapped his hand against Bucky's shoulder, "she'll be fine," he reassured, finding it strange that he even had to comfort his best friend over _his_ girlfriend. "Amelia's just been struggling lately with things but she's a fighter, and I'm not going to let her go through this alone so…" He looked back over to the door, feeling a heavy falsity in his words because though he did _want_ that, the past had taught him that it couldn't always be that way, especially when his lover was so determined to maintain her silence. Trying to keep his thoughts from revealing themselves, he tightened his lips into a smile and looked back over to his best friend, "well then, enjoy your night with Sam."

Bucky's expression melted like ice cream on a hot summer's day, rolling his eyes before settling them into a glare, "thanks." Steve couldn't help but laugh lightheartedly at how grumpy his friend was acting, and though usually with a prank he would have stopped it by that point, Steve chose to continue with it in hopes that it would help both Sam and Bucky to learn to not argue so much. They still had plenty of a car ride left to the airport and Steve wasn't sure how much more of their arguing he'd be able to put up with, let alone Amelia.

The soldier left the ex-assassin and the pilot to sort out their room, entering his own and finding his lover already settled on the bed with a pillow pressed tightly across her stomach. There was a TV across from her that she was staring at, except the TV wasn't on, and that's when Steve knew that his girl was drowning in her thoughts again. He extended his hand and waved it around, trying to get her attention but she just continued staring at the TV, her own hand consciously rubbing across the pillow where her stomach would be.

Steve didn't give up on trying to gain her attention though. Instead, he walked over to the bed and climbed on top of it, slinking towards her slowly, and the shaking of the bed was finally enough to draw her eyes over to him. A smile eased its way on her lips and she reached out with her hand so that she could stroke her fingers through his hair. "Hello there," she greeted playfully.

"Hello," Steve grabbed her other hand, lacing her fingers with his as he twisted his body enough so that he could rest his head on her lap, it wasn't an extremely comfortable position, but it was nice to just be close with her. "What are you thinking about?"

"A better question would be what aren't I thinking about," she mused, eyes falling away from his but she hadn't been fast enough as Steve saw the flash of sadness in her dark iris'.

He wasn't going to be able to get an answer from her, that much he knew. He'd tried time and time again, but was never really capable of getting a proper answer. There were only so many times that Steve could push and push to get Amelia to reveal whatever inner demons she had before it became just vexatious. So Steve didn't bother asking again, which wasn't all that easy because he was really concerned about his lover.

"Look," he began, turning serious, making Amelia's eyes fly back up to his in panic. She wasn't ready to tell him about the baby yet. "I know you're going through some things right now, and I know our current situation isn't easy, but once this is all over just promise me that you'll tell me about whatever's bothering you. We can find somewhere quiet, just me and you, and two cups of hot chocolate."

The brunette's body visibly relaxed but her nerves were still there, hidden in the way she fiddled with Steve's fingers, clearly wanting to dig her nails into her own hand. He knew she wanted to agree to his terms, yet there was something holding her back, she bit down on her bottom lip and refused to meet his eyes again, beginning to speak but her words were so quiet he could barely hear them. "Can you promise me after I tell you that you won't leave me?"

If she became a burden then what use was she to him? The answer was that she'd be of no use, just something in the way, and in the end, Amelia couldn't help but believe that he'd push her to the side. His quest for justice had always come first, she'd acknowledged that the second they met.

And what she thought was indeed true, but his love for her was also true, just as important to the soldier as his desire to always do the right thing. Amelia Stark wasn't just his lover, his best friend, nor was she just his soulmate. She was his north star, the brightest life among millions that guided him home (she was home). So there was nothing in Steve's eyes that could ever make him leave her. He already knew of the dark things she'd done, and in some ways, there wasn't even a possibility of Amelia being able to act out a worse sin, God knows she'd done them all already. "Of course I won't, _never_." They were the easiest words he'd ever had to say in his life, and the soldier hoped that the next words he'd be saying with such effortlessness were just 'I do'.

It wasn't just a smile that lit up Amelia Stark then, it was hope that blossomed in her pupils the same way a shooting star would pass through the night, it flashed through for a second but the memory of it was ingrained into both hers and Steve's minds. The brunette began to bend her upper body forward, attaching a long and slow kiss against the soldier's lips. Their souls entwined just as much as their bodies did.

He began to push back slightly, keeping his lips sealed to hers as though they'd been stitched together. The soldier rose up so that he could straddle his lover, the girl falling deeper into the bed and the pillow being discarded to the side so that Steve could press his body more firmly against hers.

They both knew where things were going.

Steve straightened himself up momentarily so that he could remove his own shirt, revealing his chest to her but Amelia's hands immediately strayed to his biceps, her nails dragging across the msucle, the brunette reminiscing of the moment when he'd held down the helicopter and his biceps had been bulging, threatening to tear through his shirt. It was a glorious image, one she refused to forget anytime soon.

She joined in with stripping, removing her leather jacket and throwing it on top of her discarded pillow. Steve began to help her with removing her clothes, being ever the gentlemen. It was a good thing he helped too as her skinny jeans proved to be a formidable foe, attaching themselves to her legs like glue. Her soldier growled at them, making Amelia burst out into a fit of laughter, not stopping until her pants were on the floor and Steve was back on top of her, silencing her with his lips once more.

The passion was overwhelming, the best sort of drug and the only drug Amelia chose to abuse, which is why she let out a whining sound when Steve pulled away again just as things seemed to be deepening. "Somethings missing," he commented, voice husky, doing wonderful things to Amelia.

A grin split her face, replacing the saddened expression she had on her face after he'd pulled away from the kiss. Amelia couldn't help but roll her eyes as she reached out and grabbed the leather jacket, putting her arms through it and then posing for Steve once it was on.

"Better," he hummed, barely finishing the words as he pressed his lips back against his lovers, a newfound vigor fuelling his passion. It didn't surprise Amelia, she wasn't sure when he'd first asked her to wear the leather jacket during their 'sexy time', but it had become a staple ever since.

She was being squished between the mattress and Steve, and despite her claustrophobia, she actually wanted him to be closer to her. Her legs had wrapped around his waist and his hands were exploring her body whilst hers had already moved up to his hair, beginning to tug just hard enough. They knew what they liked and knew what they hated, which meant mistakes could never be made when they made love. It was all so… perfect.

"I can't believe you just did that," a voice could be heard approaching their door, but locked in a world of their own (a world brimming with fireworks and roses made of leather) Steve and Amelia did not hear it. "That was _my_ underwear."

"Then why was it in _my_ bag?" A second voice growled out, and then the two voices began to speak over each other, raising higher and higher, becoming discernible but still undetected by the two lovers enthralled in one another. Not until the door to their motel room was forced open, the loud crashing sound made by the door hitting the wall just loud enough to break the two apart.

It was quite a sight actually, watching the two work in unity to cover themselves up. Steve spun off the top of Amelia, proceeding to use his body to cover up her lower half so she was just a head appearing behind his shoulder, and whilst he did that she grabbed the pillow and threw it in front of his crotch so their two intruders couldn't see the boner poking through his underwear.

Bucky and Sam were stood in the doorway, both turning red as their eyes that had widened profusely seemed to fill up most of their face. Both their mouths opened and closed, as though they were trying to do some sort of goldfish immitation.

"Never mind," Bucky was the first one who managed to spit out words, his face continuing to show only surprise at what he'd wandered into. It literally felt like he'd caught his parents in the middle of having sex, especially after the way Amelia had been behaving in the car. But, deep down, there was also a slight swell of pride as he was still extremely happy to see his best friend - who never seemed to have luck with women - getting so intimate with a lady friend.

"Y-yeah," Sam stuttered out, "never mind." The pilot rushed to close the door, their argument was completely forgotten as he'd seen far more than he'd wanted to of his two closest friends which was pretty distracting for the poor pilot.

Steve and Amelia remained completely silent, posing like statues as they watched the figures of Bucky and Sam retreat to their own room and even after that there was a minute spent where the couple tried to wrap their head around what had just happened. Did it even actually happen? Yes. Yes, it did.

Slowly their eyes moved over to one another, finding that they were both coloured a similar shade of red much like how Bucky and Sam had been. And then they broke out into laughter, Amelia was the first to break, covering her mouth with her hand as giggles spewed out and Steve joined in soon after, his chuckles much louder than hers. Neither of them knew what to do, so they laughed. Loud, ceremonious, laughter that filled their motel room for a solid five minutes before the two couldn't actually breathe anymore. They held onto each other then, trying to stop their laughter but every time it felt like they were done they'd look at each other and just burst out into laughter again.

"I'm guessing the moods gone," Steve spluttered through his laughter and Amelia could only nod, unable to speak through the painful guffawing.

Things eventually calmed down. It was a slow process, but it had to end eventually. They were both still grinning by the end of it, Amelia sprawled out across the bed whilst Steve leaned his heavy body against hers, using his lover to hold him up as he felt oxygen deprived. They released sighs at the same time, and that had them giggling once more but they could only laugh for a few seconds before their stomachs started to hurt again. Another minute of blissful silence passed them by, all previous lust having disappeared into the air just like their boisterous laughter.

"I think I should go shower," Steve whispered into the silence, his voice hoarse. Amelia still couldn't speak herself so she just rubbed her hands through his hair, spinning the short strands around her fingers and letting go as he left for the bathroom. "A cold one," he added as an afterthought before entering the bathroom, leaving Amelia completely alone.

There was the sound of the shower, but other than that it was completely silent. It was strange, how silences with Steve could be so comfortable and yet silences by herself made the room become so much more grey, and her thoughts immediately turn to sadder things. It was like the sun went away whenever Steve did.

But Amelia didn't want to be visited by the darkness again, she preferred just being happy with Steve.

Wanting to run as far away as she could from the darkness, Amelia rushed to get her clothes back on and leave the apartment. A walk. That would distract her long enough and then when she returned to the room Steve would be there and everything would be good again. Things were always good when she had Steve by her side.

Amelia made sure to be quiet when leaving the room, knowing that Steve would worry and tell her not to go for the walk seen as they were wanted felons.

The motel was out in the middle of the woods which meant there was an entire forest behind the building for her to explore. She loved forests, the way that they seemed to be frozen in time, a constant peace that only ever changed by seasons. Forests were filled to the brim with life and that's what she needed to remind herself of. Life.

Birds were still tweeting, probably moments away from going to bed and then it would be completely silent. The forest empty, whilst her mind was full. She wanted that emptiness and she wanted to mirror it herself. Maybe it was the lack of humans, creatures that had caused so much damage to her, that made her feel so much calmer and safe in forests.

Amelia was alone, but not alone, not when she was in the forest surrounded by so many trees.

But there was something else in that forest. A someone. Someone that was following behind her, their feet silent as they expertly wandered around leaves and sticks. Amelia had no idea they were there, not until they grabbed a hold of her shoulder.

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 **A/N: Somehow managed to finish a chapter today. I went over to the other house to move some stuff, ended up building a TV stand, and somehow eight hours of my day had gone by. But I'm persistent as hell and the chapter I just wrote (chapter 88) is a fucking bomb, I can't say much but I can tell you it includes the end of the airport fight scene so look forward to that.**

 **To LoveFiction2018, ^^**

 **To Sam0728, yeah but do you really think dis hoe is gonna abandon Steve and all of his bicep-y goodness? Would you?**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, interesting theory, guess we'll just have to wait and see. I think I'm like two, maybe three, chapters away from writing that chapter and oh boy am I scared and also excited.**

 **To Assbitch67, well they'll be normal at first, but really, how long can normal last when you're surrounded by Steve and Bucky? And yes I'll definitely pop over, probably once I'm done uploading this chapter and I'll get back to you if I start reading some stuff, though you might see me appear in your reviews anyway ;) AND AGREED, THEY SHOULD HAVE A FARM BY NOW, WHERE IS THE FARM?! Lol you know I can't tell you who finds out first, that would be spoilery and I ain't about that life.**

 **To Pitspee, I'm glad this chapter didn't make Tony come across as a villain, he's starting to act a bit like his father, but his intentions remain pure and good. And I'm probably being an idiot here, but what do you mean by 'a trade between two members'?**

 **To BrittStar1199, should I feel bad for turning my readers against Steve lol? He's gonna have a big mess to clean up after this, gotta prove himself to y'all again. Also, I didn't think about that, how the baby is Amelia's family, it made me feel all sunshine inside because her actual family will be growing and just awwww.**

 **And a big thanks to everyone that read the chapter, who do you think it was at the end? Here are some options that may or may not be correct: Thanos, Ross, Peter Quill, Peter Parker and Wolverine.**


	88. Chapter Eighty-Four

**CHAPTER EIGHTY-FOUR**

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"But would you kindly ponder this question: What would your good do if evil didn't exist, and what would the earth look like if all the shadows disappeared? After all, shadows are cast by things and people. Here is the shadow of my sword. But shadows also come from trees and living beings. Do you want to strip the earth of all trees and living things just because of your fantasy of enjoying naked light? You're stupid."

― **Mikhail Bulgakov**

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The second Amelia felt a hand on her shoulder, her power prickled along her back, white energy electrocuting the hand enough to distract whichever idiot had tried to sneak up on the brunette, the surprise light blinding their vision momentarily, giving Amelia enough time to turn around and grab the hand, twisting it around the person's back whilst kicking out her foot and knocking the person down onto their knees.

"Ah!" Amelia's latest victim spat out a few curses as she pushed their arm further against their back. It wasn't until she took into account the quite toned body, and realised that her foe could have quite easily fought back, that it finally registered to Amelia that the stranger she'd just attacked was in fact James Buchanan Barnes.

As though she'd been touching fire itself, she jumped as far away as she could from the man, her mind only registering at first that she'd just hurt the Winter Soldier. She hadn't even realised what she'd been doing until she let out a whimper whilst stepping as far away from him as she could, only stopping when her back hit a tree only a few centimetres away from her victim. A man that normally made _her_ the victim. She continued to eye him warily as he recovered, Bucky proceeding to do the unexpected by releasing a nervous laugh, standing up and stretching out the arm she'd previously bent into an uncomfortable position.

"My mistake," he bashfully admitted, "I should have known not to sneak up on you like that."

Yes. He should have known better, especially because it was him. Bucky and she were on the same boat, whilst he might be remembering too little and her too much, they were still suffering because of Hydra in extremely similar ways. She had no doubt if she were to sneak up on him, then he'd have reacted similarly to how she did. A dark voice pierced her mind bringing whispers of how the Winter Soldier would kill her if she did that. But he wasn't the Winter Soldier, that's what she needed to remember. He was Steve's best friend, Bucky, James Buchanan Barnes, a human not a monster.

"My fault," she mumbled in response, forcing herself to step away from the tree trunk, trying to pretend that she wasn't afraid of him anymore. Amelia knew what it was like to have people fear her. It felt awful, had made Amelia feel like every pore on her body was a piece of shrapnel meant only to harm others when all she wanted was to be made out of cotton and clouds. That pain had always felt so unnecessary and burdensome to her so she didn't want to force Bucky into feeling that way. He probably already did.

"No, really, it's on me," Bucky pushed back, standing up straight once more and putting on his best smile but Amelia struggled to believe it. He seemed to notice her timidation and so the ex-assassin carried on with a kind explanation, doing his best to comfort the brunette. "I just saw you walking out here alone and I wanted to make sure that you were safe. Does Steve know you left?"

"I'm planning on returning before he finds out that I'm gone," Amelia shrugged her shoulders lazily, trying to make it seem like no big deal because really it shouldn't be, she knew Steve's worry would mostly stem from concerns over them being caught rather than her not being capable of protecting herself. It was one of the things she liked most about Steve, that he didn't act like she was one of those precious little flowers represented in movies, women that always needed a man to protect them.

She recognised the kindness Bucky was showing her, so she attempted to repay it back by not instantly building a wall between them. Her eyes roamed over the mass forest that surrounded them before falling back onto Bucky, a light somehow sparkling in her eyes. Bucky knew it couldn't be the reflection of anything because it was night time and the forest covered all sources of light. "I just needed to get out, I wanted to… breathe, for a little while," she explained.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," there were plenty of days after he left Hydra when his brain was so loud with thoughts that they tangled around his entire body; All his limbs, even his organs, becoming shrouded by vines. Sometimes walks would help him too, and then there were the other times when nothing could stop the screaming in his head.

To make sure that Amelia was safe wasn't the only reason that Bucky had followed her into the woods. He'd actually been trying to get some alone time with her (mainly away from Sam, not Steve) so that he could have a real talk with her as he felt like there was plenty that needed to be discussed. It made him nervous, and he showed it through the way that his hand repeatedly pushed through his tousled hair. "Listen," he started, having to clear his throat as his voice came out more trembling than he'd expected, Amelia didn't seem to pick up on it though, she just looked at him, respectfully waiting for him to finish his sentence. "I really am sorry about putting you guys through this. I understand why Steve is helping me, and I'm still not quite sure I even deserve his help. I especially don't deserve yours."

"I go where Steve goes," she shrugged again, Amelia knew she was shrugging too much but she was just trying to come across unaffected by everything. If they talked any longer then Amelia wasn't sure she'd be able to keep up that facade so she needed to make Bucky leave her alone, for his own safety. Whenever Amelia got over emotional bad things always seemed to happen and she didn't want to hurt Bucky. The Winter Soldier, maybe, but not Bucky. "You can go back to the motel. I'm only going to be out here for another five minutes, and I'd prefer the silence anyway."

He didn't just nod and walk away like she'd been hoping, instead, Bucky stayed exactly where he was, dropping his hand from his hair and looking over at her with something that looked a lot like sympathy. "I know you'd prefer the silence, but sometimes it isn't what you really need." He wanted to help her, she could see that, and for some reason, it made her angry.

"Right, because you know what's best for me." Amelia had spoken without really thinking through her words, a bad habit that she really needed to start working on. But her instant response to Bucky's offer of help was hatred, because there was still that part of her that saw the Winter Soldier in him, and the Winter Soldier wasn't someone that Amelia would _ever_ want help from.

"I- I didn't mean it like that." Her words had affected him. Bucky's hand returned to his hair as he looked at her like a wounded puppy, that made her even angrier, why the hell did Steve and Bucky have such puppy eyes? She dared to think about how much she was going to suffer from the two of them working together. "I'm just trying to help."

"And whilst I appreciate that, I don't _want_ any help. Not from you, or Steve, or Sam, or Tony," she snapped, finding it far too easy to take her anger out on him because of who he reminded her of, "I just need to get through everything and then maybe I can figure out how to get rid of all of my problems." That's what she wanted. To not have to face them, but to just make them disappear, not shove them underneath a carpet like she was doing, but instead throw them into a bottomless pit where they wouldn't ever burden her again. "So if you really want to help, just leave me alone, ignore that I'm having issues. It's easier to just ignore them right now."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings," Bucky apologised, but he didn't seem so taken back by the rage she was suddenly displaying which only made it easier for her to continue throwing it at him.

"Oh, trust me, Bucky, you'd have to do a lot more to hurt my feelings," the laugh that purred from her lips was cold and detached.

"You really hate me." Those words were like a hit to Amelia's face, making her realise what she'd just done. But maybe it was for the better. She'd been pushing this facade that everything was okay with her whilst Bucky was on the team, but it really wasn't, he may not be the Winter Soldier but he looked like him, and it was his hands that had broken every bone in her body and bruised every inch of her skin. That didn't mean she hated _him_ though, and it definitely wasn't the impression she'd intended to push onto him, all Amelia wanted was for him to leave her alone whilst her mood was so low. Immediately she opened her mouth, her angered expression fading to one of guilt but before a word could slip past her lips Bucky was holding up his hand to stop her.

"Listen, just give me a second," he begged, and despite the brunette wishing to throw out numerous apologies for making him feel that way, she shut her mouth, showing him reverence. "I know that I've done bad things to you, it's some of the few things I can remember. I damaged you physically and I'm pretty sure I did a number on your mind too, and I wish I could apologise to you enough to make you forgive me but I don't deserve your forgiveness. It was my hands that did those things. So, I can't imagine what it's like for you to see me here, in this new life you've made away from Hydra. But don't let me ruin what you've got going on with Steve, from what I've seen things look like they're going pretty well, and you shouldn't let some lowlife from your past break all of that." His words had truly silenced her. They were words she'd always wanted to hear from him, words she'd literally dreamed about, and yet she felt iniquity wash over her.

"Punch me." The request was so sudden and said so simply Amelia was sure at first that she'd heard it in her own head, but then, she was sure Bucky's lips moved when it was said.

"Excuse me?"

"Punch me, anywhere you want," he opened his arms widely, posing for her and giving her his entire body as a target. She made no sign of movement though. "Seriously, don't be scared, I won't fight back, just punch me-"

Though he'd requested it, Bucky hadn't been expecting the hit that arrived directly on his face. She'd punched his nose, hard. Even Amelia wasn't aware she was doing it until after, the offer apparently so tempting her body simply couldn't resist it. Bucky was thrown backwards by the punch, disoriented and immediately grasping at his nose, releasing a pained groan and shutting his eyes tightly as his hand moved to cover the aching body part.

"Oh my god, oh my god," Amelia instantly began to panic, rushing over, forgetting all about the space she'd put between them for safety. Grabbing his arm, she managed to pull his hand far away enough from his nose to see blood pouring from it. "Shit you're bleeding," she cursed, beginning to guide him to a fallen tree so that he could sit down, not wanting him to faint or something and do more damage to his body. "I'm so sorry, please don't tell Steve."

"It's fine," Bucky soothed, swatting her hand away, "I asked for this after all."

His pacifying did nothing for Amelia though as she began to search her pockets for a tissue or something so she could help him but once she realised there was nothing in her pockets Amelia began to look elsewhere, picking a leaf that looked harmless. "Here, use this leaf."

Bucky laughed but he accepted her gift, pressing it against his nose. "Well, you've definitely gotten stronger, I'm not going to be challenging you to a fight anytime soon," he continued to chuckle and Amelia surprised herself by laughing as well. It felt strange, sitting there with Bucky, laughing about something from their shared past, ten minutes earlier such a thing had seemed impossible. "Did that make you feel better?"

She snorted, "a little." Their short, low, laughs melted into silence but the two of them still had smiles on their faces. It was a great comfort to Amelia actually, the knowledge that she could actually get on with Bucky making her start to see a friendship between them as a possibility. But before they did that, she needed to fix the damage she'd made with her earlier outburst. "I don't… I don't hate you, Bucky."

"It's fine, we don't have to talk about it," he offered, showing Amelia just how nice he was, making her more determined to have the conversation with him.

"No, it's better we get all of this out now, otherwise the car ride will just be awkward," she pushed.

"It's already awkward because of Sam," he replied, dropping the tissue down from his nose which had already begun to heal thanks to the super soldier serum flooding his vein. Amelia really hoped that the nose healed before they arrived back to the motel because she didn't want Steve to get the wrong idea.

"I do not understand at all why you two aren't getting along," Amelia revealed, leaning forward so that she could put her head in her hand, "you're pretty much the same people."

"Maybe that's the problem," he mumbled in thought.

"Maybe," she agreed, swiveling her head so she could look back towards him rather than the beautiful shadowed scenery of the forest. "Anyway, like I said, I don't hate you. I hate what you remind me of. Those fights we used to do, over and over and over... "

"I know," his tone turned grim as he reminisced all those days he spent simply destroying her. She was just a child, and yet still he'd fought her repeatedly, knowing full well that she had no chance of ever being able to beat him.

After nodding gratefully, Amelia proceeded with her dialogue, "and your appearance has just come at a bad time for me. That's not me saying I'm unhappy to finally meet you, Steve would always tell me stories about you, you as Bucky I mean, and they were always great. And I know Steve is so overwhelmingly joyous to have his best friend back, I'm happy for both him and you. But I've been struggling with a lot of stuff, and seeing you, being reminded of those dark times, it's sort of just adding onto everything."

There was a moment of silence that passed by as Bucky thought strongly over his next words, she could see he was concentrating on something as his eyebrows drew together and his lips pursed slightly. He seemed to settle on some sort of idea as he turned to look back at her, looking quite the sight with dried blood smeared beneath his nose, but the humour of his appearance became lost once he spoke. "Would it be easier if I just left?"

"No, absolutely not," her response came immediately, showing just how sure she was that him leaving was the last thing she wanted. "You're a part of this team now Bucky. When I gave you that chance in the warehouse it's because I want you here with us, Steve helped save me, and I've no doubt he'll help you too." She wanted to press her hand against him, offer some physical comfort as she'd learned from Steve that it was extremely helpful, but Amelia wasn't at that level with the ex-assassin yet.

"Then, is there any problem I might be able to help out with? You don't have to specify anything if you don't want to." Bucky's words touched Amelia, even more so when she realised that he was experiencing the same anxiety's she was. He didn't want to be a burden to her. He was trying his best to help her, to show her that he could help so that she wouldn't see him as a villain and no longer be constantly attacked by fear everytime she looked at him.

"I don't know, I don't know if there's anything that can be really fixed," she proclaimed honestly, bringing her hand down and beginning to fiddle nervously with the ends of her sleeves. "A few months ago, I ended up hurting a lot of people. Including Steve. And ever since then, I just haven't felt the same."

"I think I saw that on the news, it was at a party of something, right?"

"Yeah, my birthday party," she detailed, "I thought Steve had _died_ , and I was just so overcome by this darkness that I let it take control. And ever since then, that darkness hasn't left. I want to be okay and happy again, but it's all I can think about. Some days I don't even want to get out of bed because what's the point, when all I do is hurt people? Sometimes I think…" Amelia couldn't finish her sentence, it was the hardest thing for her to admit. It was something she was greatly ashamed of. She had Steve, and a child, and her family, yet she was so tormented by thoughts that the brunette struggled sometimes with even wanting to live.

"You don't have to say it's, it's fine. I understand what you mean," if anyone could understand what Amelia was going through, it was Bucky. "I am sorry to hear that though. I mean, the things you've gone through, it's expected for you to not be okay."

"I want to be okay though," she shook her hands passionately, turning her entire body to face Bucky so he could see just how much she desired to _just be okay_ , "I want it so fucking much. I want to just go back in time and stop every bad thing from happening."

"But then you wouldn't be where you are today," he argued, head cocking to the side slightly. "You wouldn't have your friends or your family if you didn't go through all of that. Sure, what you went through was unnecessary and awful, but without it, you wouldn't be the strong _badass_ that you are today."

Her eyebrows came together, displaying confusion. "What about you? Wouldn't you change things?"

Bucky paused in thought, at first wanting to say yes because he hated what he had to go through and he hated what he'd had to do. But it had happened. That's what he'd been coming to terms with during his disappearance from civilization. There was nothing he'd be able to do to change it, and all he could really do was work on apologising to everyone he'd ever hurt, by no means did he think he'd ever be forgiven, but he was determined to make sure everyone knew how sorry he was. There was one positive to be found anyway. He'd somehow been lucky enough to find his best friend, even though it had seemed impossible, they'd both ended up in the same time and found their way back to one another. "No, I don't think I would. Sometimes the darkness is necessary." He didn't sound one-hundred percent positive, and in some ways he was just saying it to try and help Amelia, but there was also a part of Bucky hoping that one day he'd be able to say it with optimism.

"But how could it be that simple?" Amelia groaned out, looking back over to the forest and away from Bucky. "Some guy one day killed my family and decided to take me back to Hydra and make me their experiment, they stripped away my humanity and tortured me every single day, and you want me to think that that was necessary?"

"But you're in a much happier place now, aren't you?"

"I mean… yeah…" He had a point. Sure, Amelia didn't have her family, but it was because of Hydra that she got to meet Steve, got to be given that one chance, got to learn and appreciate the wonders of the world with a great man by her side. It started to make more and more sense to her. The stars wouldn't shine without the night sky behind them, sometimes the darkness was necessary so that people could see the light. But there was still something holding her back. The dreams that cursed most of her sleeps, of a car crash and a shadowed face. "I keep thinking, you know, if I could just find this guy who kidnapped me and kill him, then I'd finally be at peace." Amelia turned back to look at Bucky, suddenly looking hopeful. "Do you know who it was?"

Bucky's face dropped. "You don't?"

"No…" She dragged out the word as she tried to read his expression but as soon as he noticed her analytical gaze he turned away from her, his brown locks falling in front of his face.

"Oh," he cleared out his throat, returning his gaze to her, having replaced his disappointed expression with one of sympathy, "well, no. No, I don't know, either." Bucky began to wipe underneath his nose, trying to rid all the evidence from Amelia's punch and then he stood up from the tree trunk. "Come on, we've been out here for a while, I'm sure Steve will be worried."

But Amelia wasn't done with her questions.

"Wait, just because you don't know who it was doesn't mean you don't know why." She stood up too, stepping closer towards Bucky, pleading with her tone of voice as she stopped mere inches behind him. "Please, I know it's probably hard for you to talk about, even more painful to remember, but if you could just tell me _why_ that person chose me then I might finally be able to stop obsessing over it. I keep having these nightmares of that moment, right after he killed my parents. I think he tried to kill me at first, but then he must have stopped and decided to take me back to Hydra, and I want to know why."

His shoulders fell as he listened to her reveal something vulnerable about herself. Turning back to her, Bucky went against all sane thoughts that told him the last thing he needed to do was instigate any sort of hatred from Amelia. He would tell her the truth one day, but he didn't plan on revealing that _he_ was the one who stole her away and gave her to Hydra until they were in much safer circumstances. It was something he'd need to discuss first with Steve as well.

"It wasn't the person, it was Hydra. They found out about your powers," he revealed, trying to keep the information that he did give as minimal as possible.

"What? No, wait, no," Amelia shook her head, waving her hand as well, dismissing what Bucky had said immediately, "that doesn't make sense, Hydra _gave_ me my powers."

"No, that's why Hydra took you, so they could use your powers. Except, you could never actually use your powers, and that's why they started experimenting on you," he explained.

"And then they just never stopped experimenting." She remembered most of the experiments, all of them except the last one where they combined her powers with the space stone. That one she only knew about thanks to the video recordings and all the files they'd kept on the life changing test they'd done.

He saw the haunted expression deepening and wondered if he'd actually helped her by revealing that information. Bucky had definitely given her a lot more to think about. "Anyway, Steve?" The super soldier signaled over to the direction of the forest they'd entered through.

"Yeah… right," she was only half listening to Bucky then, still working on accepting the idea that she'd had abilities before Hydra took her. It wasn't such a horrible idea. Somehow, for Amelia, it made her powers seem like a lot less of a threat because it meant they hadn't come from something evil. Following behind Bucky, as they made it to the clearing she stopped him. "Thanks for talking to me Bucky, I really appreciate it."

"No problem, doll," it was a relief to hear that he'd at least been of some help to her.

It wasn't only her that had been given a lot to think about though, as now he knew that she didn't know the truth of who took her to Hydra, and that meant he'd be spending most of his time figuring out how he could tell her the truth as well as convey just how apologetic he was for it.

They had one minute left of their journey back to the motel, the illuminated sign like a lighthouse guiding them back. They were both disappointed but not at all surprised when they noticed two familiar figures stood beneath the sign, their heads swiveling, Steve and Sam probably trying to find her and Bucky. In order to ease their worry, she raised her hand, letting them know that they were back. She was walking behind Bucky so she was able to roll her eyes without being spotted, the brunette well aware that Steve would be telling her off very soon for leaving whilst he was in the shower.

As soon as her soldier spotted them he began to bound over towards her, "Where were you?" He immediately demanded, Sam followed behind him and looked just as displeased as the soldier.

Bucky stopped walking once they were close enough but Amelia moved past him, making her way over to Steve so that she could place her hand against his bicep, trying to offer him some comfort. "I just went for a walk, don't worry about it." Amelia's tactic was to make the walk not a big deal, of course she had been outside for longer than intended, but she was still her and could easily protect herself and ensure that she wasn't spotted by anyone. Both her and Bucky were trained assassin's after all, not just some amateurs playing hopscotch in the woods.

"He has every right to worry Amelia, first you go missing and then Tarzan," Sam stepped in for Steve, sending a swift glare towards Bucky before looking back over to Amelia, he wasn't sending her any dirty looks but he still looked pretty furious, "we're on the run guys, everyone is looking for us right now. You two can't just pop off for a nice stroll in the woods right now."

Steve's eyes were pulled together as he looked between his best friend and lover, two people he'd never expected to want to be alone together. "You were with Bucky?" He hadn't known that. Steve had just left the shower, seen that Amelia wasn't in the room anymore and immediately panicked. After getting dressed he ventured outside and Sam had just joined his side when the two ex-Hydra agents stumbled from the forest.

"Yeah," she continued acting as though what she'd done hadn't at all been dangerous for the team, but it became a little harder when she met Steve's eyes and found something discernible sparking within them. It almost looked like he was hurt, but that didn't make sense, it made less sense than Steve being angry at her for going on a five-minute stroll behind the building. It was hard to continue looking into her soldier's eyes as she felt that emotion burning into her skin. "We had a nice chat, worked some things out," Amelia explained, her voice becoming surprisingly quiet as she was daunted by whatever emotion she'd seen in Steve's eyes.

Sam turned back to glare at Bucky, and it was then he finally noticed a patch of something red beneath his nose. It was difficult to tell at first as the neon sign didn't provide him with the best lighting, but on closer inspection, the pilot became sure that what he saw was the smearing of blood on the metal-armed giant's face. "Is that blood?" He brought everyone's attention to the red patch on his face, even pointing towards it to make sure everyone else knew what he was talking about.

"Like she said, we worked things out." He smiled over to her, a toothy grin that she returned as they both found the memory amusing. Steve noticed. Steve didn't appreciate it.

He could feel it the invisible emotion beginning to consume him at the thought of his best friend alone with his girlfriend. It was like a bubble wrapped around him, suffocating him, separating him from them and making him feel alone. Steve didn't want to feel jealous and he had no reason to feel jealous, it was like his younger self - the kid that was always jealous of his best friend for getting the girl whilst he was alone - was rearing their head inside of him, reminding him of days long ago when that would be the situation. It felt uncomfortable, like a suit that didn't fit him anymore. Yet for some reason he continued to wear it, continued to allow it to strangle him as he reached out and embraced Amelia's hand with his own, proceeding to firmly push her against his side and further away from Bucky.

"You still should have told someone you were leaving," if he just continued to pretend like that the reason he was mad was because of his concerns then No one would find out about the jealousy purging his body, "especially you, Buck, you should know better." He shouldn't have been telling off his best friend, he hadn't intended to, he was just mad and all that anger was suddenly being directed towards the ex-assassin.

"Hey, we were only a five minute walk away, it's not like we left the country together," Amelia soothed, beginning to rub her hand up and down his forearm. Steve did eventually look back over to her but his expression of envy still burned despite his efforts to mask it. The brunette took a step away from the soldier and began to tug on his arm, nodding over to their room, "come on." It had been a long day and Amelia didn't want to end it on just a lecture. She continued to pull him away and after about five tugs he did eventually start to reluctantly follow her. The brunette did turn back one last time to wave towards Sam and Bucky, voice sweet as she said her goodbye, "night boys."

They travelled up a staircase outside of the motel in silence, the nice kind of silence Amelia appreciated more than the silence which occurred when she was just on her own. It didn't remain that way though as, unbeknownst to Amelia, Steve's thoughts were loud and obnoxious and simply wouldn't allow him to find peace in their collected silence because she'd gone into the forest alone with Bucky without telling _him_ \- her boyfriend - and she was refusing to tell him what happened in the forest which grew his suspicions that something must have happened. He didn't believe that they'd ended up kissing or anything like that, he trusted them fully enough to know that neither one of them would betray him like that, but his past had taught him that women always preferred Bucky to Steve and the soldier just wanted to make sure that history wasn't repeating itself with his girlfriend. "How come you went into the woods with Bucky?" He tried again, voice tight.

"I told you, we were just talking." if she told Steve about the things she talked about with Bucky, then he'd want to have the same conversation with her, he'd want her to talk about his feelings and that wasn't something she really wanted to do.

"About what?" Steve continued pushing.

"Things," Amelia responded.

"Why won't you tell me?" The tightness in his tone was replaced with a guttural growl as he became more frustrated with her silence, making Amelia realise that maybe she wouldn't be able to get away with her short answers.

"Do you have any money, I'm hungry," her second technique was to simply avoid the subject altogether, though she knew that it was very unlikely her soldier would join in. Amelia did her best to distract him though, stopping them besides a vending machine that she explored thoroughly, searching through it with more intensity than what she'd ever give on a mission.

"Amelia," he sighed, seeing straight through her attempt which is exactly what she'd been expecting.

"Steven," the reply came automatically to Amelia.

"You need to stop doing that," Steve directed a pointed finger towards her as he leaned his body against the vending machine. There was barely any conviction in his voice because he didn't really find it annoying, most of the time when she did that it was quite amusing for him, but not so much when they were in the middle of heated debates. The soldier didn't want to give Amelia what she was pushing for (a change of subject) so he continued on, returning to their previous subject, "just tell me what you were talking about, you promised you wouldn't hide things from me."

The guilt that swelled and consumed Steve then was worse than the jealousy that had been drowning him moments ago. He had no right to use that promise on her, not when he was the first to break it by continuing to keep the secret of her kidnapper. Steve preferred to think that it was jealousy which drove his words in that moment, he liked to think that he was better than that.

His words had definitely had their intended effect on the brunette, making her worry enough that she was betraying some humongous promise they'd made to each other and kept so far, forcing her to reveal what exactly she and Bucky had spoken about when in the woods. Amelia was still careful with what words she used, doing her best to ensure that their conversation wouldn't stray onto the darkness wrapped around her bones. "I'm not hiding things from you," she started off her explanation with those words as she thought it was important Steve know that, "I went into the woods, Bucky saw and followed me to make sure I was okay. We talked about the past, and how I'm still sort of… scared, of him. Well, not of him, of the Winter Soldier. And then we just worked things out, or we are working things out. Either way, we're not so afraid of each other anymore."

"He was afraid of you?" Steve knew that with certain things Amelia was just more perceptive than him, mainly when it came to broken people, because she knew what it was like to be so defeated that it was hard to recover from. He'd never been that way, he'd always been a fighter, always believed in people and always believed that the good guys would prevail in the end. Being with Amelia was actually quite humbling for the super soldier.

"Bucky never outright said it but I think he was scared of me rejecting him, especially because of our shared past," Amelia revealed, sounding sad as she gave her explanation. Then she switched into a completely different person, a smile stretching her lips and her hand outstretched towards him. "Now, money, please?" Steve released a drawn-out sigh but it was thankfully more playful than actual vexation. He reached into his pants pocket and pulled out some change and a receipt which was already covered by a small drawing. As Amelia grabbed that she also grabbed a hold of the receipt, knowing it would find a lovely home in the scrapbook of Steve's artwork which was at the Avengers facility. Amelia still believed there was a chance of her returning back there. To show how grateful she was, Amelia pecked the side of his mouth, "I love you."

"I love you too," he mumbled, grumbling the words like a child unhappy with their mother, but whether he was unhappy or not his love for her remained the same way it always had. It always would, he realised. No matter what situation they were in, or whatever argument they might end up going through, he'd always still love her. They were entwined, two halves of the same person, without one another then something as simple as breathing would be impossible.

"I have a weird craving for dark chocolate right now," Amelia mumbled as she stared back at the vending machine, unaware of the way Steve was looking at her, his eyes lit up the same way the sun would light up the sky as he stared at her lovingly.

"You hate dark chocolate though," he commented as she retrieved a bar of dark chocolate and immediately opened it up, taking a large bite and ignoring the way the bar had been sectioned off into pieces entirely.

"I know, that's why I called it a weird craving. Want some?" She offered out the chocolate bar to him, "It's chocolatey goodness, you know you want it." Amelia began to wave it in front of his face, stepping closer until her chest was against his and the chocolate bar was ghosting across his lips. He tentatively took a bite the same way a dog would gently accept a treat from their owner, and Amelia couldn't help the grin that consumed her face, growing more after she started to pet him on the head. "There, now are you done being jealous?"

"I wasn't being jealous. I was being concerned." Steve was lying through his teeth, trying to maintain the facade he'd created on their flight that he simply wasn't the type to get jealousy. He'd genuinely thought he wasn't seen as it had been so long since those days when he was always the last on everyone's list.

"Uh-huh," Amelia responded sarcastically, smoothing down the hair that she'd messed up before continuing her journey over to their bedroom, "sure you were."

Things melted into a calmness from that point, the two returning to their rooms, finishing the chocolate bar together and then going to bed. They both struggled to sleep that night. But it became even more difficult for the both of them when Amelia propped her head on his chest and looked up at him, remaining that way for a few minutes before finally speaking, her whispers so loud in the empty silence.

"What would you say if I told you I was pregnant?"

* * *

 **A/N: This is totally one of my favourite chapters okay fight me. I love Bucky so much and I know I might have another part to write for this but I've already started planning for the fanfic I'm going to write for him, I really hope you guys love it (and actually go read it but I ain't gonna force you). ALSO THAT ENDING THO!**

 **To HuffleHecate, Peter Quill would have led to a very interesting ending for part four, but sadly he doesn't arrive :( I wish he did tho. Oh! Peter & Gamora and Steve & Amelia should totally go on a double date! Sorry, went of topic. Thank you for the review and I'm happy you're here!**

 **To LoveFiction2018, happy to hear**

 **To Pitspee, that sounded like a nursery rhyme, it was beautiful, a number one hit, I applaud you! AND YES I TOLD YOU I'D GET THAT LEATHER JACKET KINK IN HERE SOMEWHERE! It took a lot of shuffling around to find the perfect time but I did it! Sadly not Wolverine, though that would be one hell of a story. Oh, hey, X-Men will be part of the MCU now won't they? So who knows, one day Wolverine might appear lol. THEY COULD BE LEATHER JACKET BUDDIES THAT SMOKE CIGARS TOGETHER! And ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, okay, that makes sense, and we'll have to wait and see ;) Who knows, red and brown might get to have a lil chat on the subject ;)**

 **To Faora, glad to hear you liked it so much ^^ Thank you!**

 **To Sam0728, true, true. And also lol I'm sure Steve will have a private conversation with them on the importance of knocking on doors, though either Bucky or Sam will argue with the fact that neither of them _locked_ the door. **

**To BrittStar1199, glad ya think so and I totally agree with what you said at the end about Amelia, tomorrow I get to write the scene where she finds out the truth though so we'll see how long her lovesickness lasts *cue evil cackling***

 **To Hellawoez, whoa! This is so different to what I've been getting from everyone else! I like the way you think!**


	89. Chapter Eighty-Five

**CHAPTER EIGHTY-FIVE**

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"Truth builds trust."

― **Marilyn Suttle**

* * *

The sun had risen obnoxiously that day, lighting up Amelia and Steve's motel room, shining directly in her eyes. She woke up uncomfortably warm, and yet Amelia did not mind it so much as the heat shrouding her like an extra ten blankets was actually Steven Grant Rogers' arms, his bulging biceps large around her frame. She always felt so tiny next to her soldier, but it wasn't such a horrible feeling, she quite liked the size difference between them. It meant she got to make him reach for things on high shelves and his t-shirt would always ride up and reveal the beautiful 'V' at the bottom of his stomach.

Amelia really could have stayed there for the rest of the day, it sure would have been a much more peaceful setting than going on the road again, trying to run from everyone and everything. She would have stayed there forever, really, but her body had other ideas.

A deep ache began to growl in the pit of her stomach, bringing with it a woozy sensation that made her feel like the room itself was spinning around her. The faster the room began to spin, the higher the thickness in her stomach rose, going all the way up to the back of her throat, pushing further upwards until it was at the point of no return. Her comfortable, slightly too warm, daze was pushed to a complete halt and she fully awoke feeling nothing but panic.

The brunette began to slap Steve's hand repeatedly, hard enough to make him wake up as well and he immediately took his hand off of her waist. After that she shot out of the bed, rushing into the bathroom so that she could extinguish the vomit from her body. So tired that she didn't have the effort to try and quiet down the vomit that fell from her lips. Steve joined her, just as disoriented from the sudden wake-up but that didn't stop him from standing by her side and holding up her hair so it didn't fall into the toilet bowl.

They remained at the toilet for five minutes whilst Amelia threw up the bit of food she'd had the previous day. Once she was done Amelia sat herself back, sweat matting her hair against her head and she groaned.

"Are you okay?" Steve asked with concern, squatting down beside her so that he could push the hair from the front of her face whilst she bent her head back and pressed it against the tiles which were so cool against her blazing skin.

"Yeah," she huffed, breathless after emptying her stomach, "dark chocolate must really not agree with me." It was half a lie, she knew from past experiences that eating the 'chocolate that shouldn't be allowed to call itself chocolate' did bad things to her stomach but Amelia knew it wasn't because of her odd craving that she'd ended up vomiting that morning.

Steve remained concerned for her, a frown perched on his lips as he continued to stroke across her head. Amelia had started to lean towards his touch, enjoying the soothing gesture. He stopped eventually and Amelia did release a whining noise once his hand disappeared but she felt them return to her body as he picked her up and took her to the bath.

The soldier began to strip both of them of their clothes, being extremely gentle with Amelia, before finally turning on the taps. The water started out cold which Amelia was sure struck Steve but she welcomed the freezing temperature as it immediately soothed the fever she had. It eventually heated up to lukewarm, and Steve proceeded to wash her in it.

He grabbed a bar of soap and began to stroke it gently across her skin, his gliding touches waking up her skin whilst also quieting the fire under her flesh. Amelia was facing away from Steve, sat between his legs, back pressing against his chest and it was her second heaven, placed right after being cuddled up with him in bed.

She thought that things couldn't get any better, but then Steve started washing her hair. His hands had a surprising technique considering how large they were and what they were usually used for. His fingers gently pulled through her hair, pouring water, then spreading shampoo, performing some magical massage on her scalp.

"Do you think we should talk about what you said last night?" He intoned, breath brushing her soaked skin.

Her hands twitched, gliding through the water and creating waves, trying to find anything to do other than tighten to the point where her nails bit through her skin. "Oh," Amelia mumbled, "I thought you were asleep."

"No, I was awake… I just didn't know what to reply with so I didn't say anything," he confessed bashfully, his fingers still rubbing conditioner into the ends of her hair.

Indeed he had been awake when Amelia asked the question, wide awake actually, trying to figure out what he'd do to get to the airport. Tony was going to meet them there, he had no doubt about that, but the issue was that his team didn't actually have anything to fight with. And that's what they'd have to do, they'd have to fight their way through in order to get to the airplane. Steve's night was filled with trying to figure out if Amelia would be joining the fight or not, he had to prepare a plan in case she refused to. When Amelia asked Steve what he would say if she told him she was pregnant, the soldier had been completely thrown. The question was so unexpected, and so big, his mind had emptied of all words and logic. He'd spent so long trying to think of what to say, of what the right words would be to say, that by the time he'd managed to prepare something she was already snoring away.

"Do you want to talk about it now?" Amelia questioned quietly, continuing to make splashes in the water with her hands. She was nervous, and a part of her didn't want to push him for an answer, far too scared of what the answer would be. But she had to know. Amelia needed to know what his thoughts were so she could prepare herself for what Steve's reaction would be when she did tell him. The brunette was sure that she wanted the child, of course, she still had her fears over whether or not she'd be a good mother, but after being in that cage Amelia had come to accept that she was really pregnant and she'd actually started to become excited.

It was one of the aspects of her dream life. Having children with Steve was the end goal, that and a farm with a dog. But the child had arrived earlier than expected which is what was giving her anxiety.

" _Are_ you pregnant?" Steve asked before moving to answer the question she'd asked last night.

She couldn't meet his eyes, "would it be so horrible if I was?" If that had been his response the night before, then she might have answered him with a yes, but then he'd allowed an entire night to go by and that was all the time her nerves needed to rebuild themselves and keep her silent.

"Please just answer the question," he continued to urge, needing a yes or a no from his lover more than he needed oxygen in that moment, "you threw up this morning, and your moods have been all over the place, and there's been something playing on your mind a lot. It's really starting to worry me, Amelia. Is that what you were talking about with Bucky last night?" His panic was so obvious, lacing into his words like a boisterous and violent echo. It was all Amelia could concentrate on, her mind instantly receiving it as a declination of their child.

"No, I told you, we just talked about our shared history," she explained again, doing her best to not let the sadness swimming in her veins be heard in her voice.

"So you're not pregnant?" He'd come to that conclusion on his own, portraying to Amelia which answer he'd prefer from her.

"No." It hurt her to say that word, not only was she lying to Steve, but it also felt like she was denying her child. One hand rose to her stomach and she felt for that heartbeat, hoping that her child could not feel the emotions surrounding them, praying that they would not be tainted by the darkness emanating from both of their parents. "I guess I'm not," she muttered lowly, inaudible to Steve.

"Good," the soldier breathed out a sigh of relief, not noticing the way his words hit her like a sword straight through the stomach, like lightning striking her twice, pulsing destruction through her entire body, making her incapable of breathing for a moment. To him, it was just a casual conversation. The soldier finished pouring water into her hair, continuing to rub his hands through the soft strands whilst placing a chaste kiss upon her shoulder. He could sense her disappointment and he knew what it was about, Tony had made him realise that he was keeping Amelia from having the peaceful life that she'd always wanted, but he wouldn't forever (he hoped). "If we were under any other circumstances I swear I would be overjoyed. I do want to have a family with you Frecks, I promise…"

He'd left his sentence open, so Amelia knew what he was going to follow with. "But?"

"But right now a child would be the worst possible thing to happen to us. It's not the right time. We can't bring a child into this world, not when we're on the run, fighting. We couldn't possibly raise a child in the midst of all this," he tried to be gentle with his clarification but Steve really could have used some better words. 'Worst possible thing' was another sword piercing her already wound covered body. She tried to listen to his other words, searching them like she was diving to the depths of the ocean, trying to find treasure in the form of hope.

"But afterward?" She pondered. He was telling her that he did want kids. At some point, _he did want kids_. From what Amelia was gathering she managed to convince herself that their child which was blossoming inside of her would find a home, they just needed to fix everything, no, _she_ needed to fix everything.

"After we've sorted things out with Tony and Bucky, as well as fixing the mess done by the accords, then yeah, maybe." Even after everything was fixed Steve knew he still wanted to stay as Captain America afterward, he had to, the world was on his shoulders and he couldn't possibly pass that burden onto someone else. But at the same time, he did want to stay with Amelia and give her the life she both wanted and deserved. So it was a 'maybe'. "This can be something to discuss when we're back home with our hot chocolates, okay?"

"Alright, yeah," Amelia agreed, her voice picking up slightly as she concentrated entirely on the fact that Steve hadn't outright said no to them having a family, just no to them having a family in that moment when everything was falling apart around them. All she needed to do was fix things and help Bucky, then after that, she would finally tell him about their child and everything would be okay. She just needed to hold on for a little longer. "Sorry," she apologised, feeling bad for stressing him out over a subject that hadn't necessarily needed to be brought up until after they cleaned up the mess happening with the accords.

"For what?" He mumbled as he stroked his lips once more against her shoulder, feeling a semblance of peace shrouding them after discussing their plans for the future.

"I don't know, a lot of things," Amelia was well aware of how much of a burden she had become in the past couple of days, they hadn't even begun to discuss her black powers making another appearance.

"I should be the one apologising," Steve argued, bringing his lips away from her shoulder so that he could pour another jug of water onto her hair, making sure that he got all of the conditioner from her hair. He stopped momentarily as he finally voiced his concerns to her. "I've pulled you into this mess, made you fall out with Tony, forced you into another fight. We both know you want to retire from this life."

Amelia immediately turned to face Steve, surprised at his sudden confession. She'd already known everything he said though; the brunette hadn't dared admit it to herself, but she'd known. "That may be so, but I chose you, Steve. You and this life," she gestured to the bathroom they were on, not the best representation of their life but it wasn't exactly what she was gesturing too. She was pointing to the fact that they were in another run down motel room, doing their best to save Bucky, away from all their friends and family, fighting another battle that neither of them had asked for and really neither of them wanted. Sure, she could have left a long time ago, found a more peaceful way to spend her time, finally ended the years of fighting she'd had to endure, but that would mean leaving Steve. "And like you said, it won't be forever, right?"

"Of course." He wanted to believe it, so he believed it. But both of them knew the truth, they hid it away in a box in a corner in a room sealed shut, but they were always still aware of the truth. Steve Rogers wasn't ready to give up the Captain America mantel and he wouldn't be for a long time, because he was a soldier, and what was a soldier without a war? There would always be people that needed his help, and he would always be there to help them. It wasn't the helping part that Amelia had an issue with though, it was the fighting, the wars, the battles. She'd had enough of them. Fights painted her skin as scars making her a mess of burning red. She wanted the red to go away, but it would never fade for as long as she kept fighting by his side.

The couple turned silent, Steve continuing to run his hands through her hair whilst Amelia shuffled around so that her knees were close to her chest and she was just a ball against her lover's chest. If she asked him to stay there forever, would he let her? No. No, he wouldn't, because there was a battle that needed fighting.

Speaking of battles, there seemed to be one going on a couple of rooms down from theirs that the couple still managed to hear quite clearly. The voices were familiar enough for them to identify who it was as well: Bucky and Sam. Neither was surprised when they heard the yelling though they did feel slightly embarrassed, as though they were two parents feeling shame because their children were arguing so loudly at some untold hour in the morning.

"We should have given them a room further away from ours," Amelia joked, trying to lift up their spirits. The day had only just begun and she wasn't about to let Steve be burdened by her problems for the rest of it. She turned around, a bright beaming grin widening her face and making her nose scrunch up slightly, "so what's the plan for the day, Captain?"

Her smile seemed to do its job properly, a smaller one mirroring hers on Steve's cherry blossom lips, "I like it when you call me Captain," his eyes hard darkened once more but it was not by something upsetting and it didn't make Amelia feel guilty, she felt a rise in something at the bottom of her stomach but it definitely was not sadness. She rolled her eyes at him, wishing that she could kiss the forming smirk off of his lips - he'd made her blush and clearly the soldier was proud about doing so - but vile was still burning the back of her throat, reminding her that before Amelia did any kissing she needed to brush her teeth. "I'm going to call Sharon soon, see if she can give us any intel, maybe try and get our suits back," he'd decided it last night without speaking to Amelia about it, though Steve knew it was something he'd need to warn her about, as much as he might have enjoyed seeing her jealous.

"You think she's still on our side, even with her job?" Amelia was doing her best to not instantly say 'no' to the idea, they could really do with whatever intel Sharon would provide but she didn't entirely trust the woman to not tell her boss what they'd been doing. She had noticed Sharon inside the bunker, standing next to her boss, working for the other side, when Amelia was confined in the cage.

"She is a good person Freckles, with a good moral compass, just like Peggy," he explained, and Amelia could only shrug her shoulders. Normally Amelia was quick to trust anyone that Steve trusted, but there was something holding her back with Sharon. Jealousy, it was jealousy holding her back.

Wanting to change the subject of the particular blond that made her feel like stones were clogging her lungs, Amelia asked another question: "Are you missing Peggy?"

"Of course," Steve admitted with ease, and once he did, he immediately found Amelia's hand in his, "I already lost her once, so I thought it wouldn't be so hard losing her again, but now that I know she's really gone… I don't know, the world just sort of feels emptier."

"But she's still here, remember," Amelia responded, once again leaking positivity from every pore, "as a star." Though she didn't realise it, Amelia was a star as well, a beacon of light whenever things were turning dark for Steve. "Plus, I bet she's looking down on you right now feeling very proud that you're fighting for what you believe in."

"Or she's shaking her head and tutting at me for being so stubborn," he replied, knowing that his dame wouldn't be so happy with how he'd turned himself and his friends into fugitives. Steve liked to believe that she'd have been on his side when it came to the accords though. It made him miss her even more, because Steve could have really done with some of Peggy's wise guidance then. Clearing his throat, the voices in the room a few doors down seemed to get louder, making him sigh and place his head into the crook of Amelia's shoulder, he really could have just stayed there forever. "We should probably get ready to hit the road again."

"Do we have to?" Amelia immediately wined, bending her head backwards so she was leaning onto his shoulder as well. She closed her eyes, doing her best to change her dread over the following weeks into excitement over what would happen after the accords and Bucky were sorted out. "After all this is over I expect like ten baths together."

"Okay," Steve agreed, his words coming out slightly muffled as his head stayed on her shoulder despite his earlier remark that they should go.

"With hot chocolates," she added.

"Okay," he continued to agree.

"And those hot chocolates better have marshmallows."

"Alright, I promise." Neither of them thought about how easily he'd promised that, not even stopping and thinking on the subject like he used to do.

The two Avenger's eventually managed to get themselves out of the bath, Steve stayed inside so that he could wash himself whilst Amelia brushed her teeth and redressed herself. She dressed in her usual dark ensemble, a dark grey vest, a black hoodie and her leather jacket, placing black washed-out skinny jeans on her lower half and pairing them with hiker boots. Steve dressed a little more brightly than his soul mate, wearing a light grey t-shirt, blue jeans and boots. They stood together in front of the bathroom mirror, collecting all their toiletries and Amelia couldn't help but stop for a moment and compare the two of them together.

She really did embody darkness, her hair and eyes only adding to the black outfit she wore, whilst Steve looked so much brighter, his blonde hair and bright blue eyes adding more colour to his person. They were complete opposites, yet they combined together to make something a lot like yin and yang. It was easy to look at the couples exteriors and assume they were opposing one another, but in reality, they were complementary.

Steve left to go give the room key back to the motel whilst she went to Sam and Bucky's room, entering it to find the two agents stood on entirely different sides, creating as much distance as they could from one another. Both had sour expressions on their faces, but at least they weren't arguing anymore.

"It's time to go," she told them and both immediately jumped out of their seats and moved to exit.

"Finally." Sam made it to the door first and Bucky almost bumped into him, making the metal-armed giant send a poisonous glare in the pilot's direction but Sam pretended to be completely unaware, taking his time before stepping out of the doorway.

The weather was fine that day. Just fine. Not too warm, not too cold. Not too bright, not too dark. The sky was filled with clouds and a slight breeze knocked at Amelia's hair, sending some strands into her face. It wasn't peaceful, but it wasn't a storm. It was the beginning of something, though Amelia couldn't tell if it was the start of something good or bad. She felt that way about a lot of things in that moment.

"How are you feeling today?" Bucky asked as they began to descend down the stairs into the motel's car park where Steve's 'inconspicuous' blue beetle was.

"Good. Better." She actually did, but with her hormones going up and down, melding with all the mental issues the brunette was facing, Amelia didn't know how long her good mood would last. "How's the nose?"

"I thought it would have healed by now but there's still some bruising," he explained, laughing slightly to try and show to the ex-Hydra agent that he wasn't all that bothered about the superficial wound.

Still, Amelia felt bashful over how hard she'd hit him, "I'm really sorry."

"It's fine," he pushed her shoulder gently, "I asked for it."

Steve left the motel's office and his eyes immediately spotted his best friend and lover giggling together, it almost looked like they were conspiring. He rushed over, making actions without really thinking about what he was doing. His steps were large, ensuring he reached her side in seconds and once she was there he held his hand, making an unnecessary display to Bucky that she was his girlfriend. "Hey," he greeted, "I just gave in the key," Steve was trying to change the conversation subject, moving it away from whatever they'd been talking about which had had such a smile blooming on their lips.

"I think Sam's gone to give ours in," Bucky pointed to the pilot who was marching over to the office. They'd had a disagreement the previous night on who should be in charge of the key after Bucky had accidentally left the motel room with it inside his pocket (it wasn't an accident, more a way of ensuring Sam didn't lock him out), he'd ended it by just throwing the key over to the pilot.

"Right," Steve nodded tensely, his lips pressed down in a thin line. He didn't like feeling jealous, not one bit, but he couldn't shove out those images of being alone in one of his favourite clubs as Bucky wandered off with his date.

Tension shrouded them like a thick fog, making Amelia feel like she was choking. The brunette looked between Bucky and Steve for a few seconds before she decided that she wasn't enjoying the situation. Whilst seeing a jealous Steve might have been quite attractive, it was awkward for Bucky and she didn't want to put him through it for too long.

"Come on," she huffed, letting Steve know that she'd noticed his jealousy. Amelia proceeded to tug on his hand and pull him over towards the beetle, Sam joining the trio, making them into a squad. Amelia pondered momentarily what their squad would be called? Perhaps an amalgamation of all their names, like Steviamy. Or perhaps something cooler, like the Artemis squad, though Amelia was rather biased to that name, she wasn't sure the others would also appreciate it as much as her.

"Let's get going then," Sam sighed, beginning to walk over to the door beside the driver, reaching for it just as another hand did. Both immediately pulled their hands away before their fingers could touch. "What are you doing?" Sam interrogated, eyes pointing daggers towards the metal-armed giant.

Bucky threw his eyebrows together, looking towards Sam as though he was the world's biggest idiot. It had been quite obvious what he was trying to do. He pointed over to the passenger door, beginning to speak slower than usual, "I'm going to sit down, at the front."

"Ha, no you're not," Sam feigned a short chuckle.

"Neither of you are, Amelia's going to sit in the front," Steve jumped in, putting an end to their brewing argument whilst also ensuring that his lover remained closer to him than Bucky.

Before a decision could actually be made though Amelia slapped at Steve's hand to gain his attention, "I don't think there's any point, I'll just sit in the back, flip a coin or something to decide who sits next to me." She referred the last part of her sentence over to Sam and Bucky as she proceeded to open the car door on the driver's side so she could get enter into the back seat.

"What? No…" Steve pawed at her hand like a whining puppy. He wanted her next to him where he could keep an eye on her and make sure that all of her interactions with Bucky weren't something which would hypnotise her like he had done with most of Steve's past dates (though a lot of the time it was just because he wasn't the girls dream guy in many aspects).

"You want to deal with those two arguing the entire ride again?" She contended, giving him a pointed look and his instinctive response was a look of annoyance that he didn't quite manage to stop before revealing, not helping himself with his argument at all. "That's what I thought," Amelia stated proudly as she got into the back seat of the car, putting Steve's seat back up as she sat down.

"Yes!" He heard Sam's cry from the other side of the car, and watched with dismay as Bucky was the one who had to move into the back seat, next to Amelia.

Steve entered the car with a very grumpy expression on his face.

Of course he was a soldier, and Captain America, which meant something as silly as jealousy didn't stop him from getting into the car and driving to their next stop which would be meeting Sharon. The meeting had new ideas going through his head, ways of getting back at Amelia because he knew she knew of the jealousy swallowing him up.

For the entire two-hour long car ride Sam and Steve were mostly silent whilst Bucky and Amelia shared numerous conversations, earning a few glares from both the pilot and the soldier in the front seat. Every time she laughed at something he said it was like a knife to Steve's stomach. They never touched each other though, not with their hands, and they made sure to keep a good distance away from one another and Steve felt both happy and sad about it. Happy because it soothed his jealousy slightly, and sad, because it meant they still had reservations about being around one another.

They made it to Sharon eventually, meeting up with her underneath an overpass, hidden away from any prying eyes and surveillance cameras. Steve was the only one who went outside, leaving Amelia, Sam, and Bucky in the car to watch their exchange.

Amelia couldn't help but keep a watchful eye on the pair, noticing the way Steve seemed to stand a little closer to her than was necessary. They were talking, she opened the boot, revealed Sam and Steve's suits, as well as her bracelets. They continued to talk afterward, and Amelia wished that she'd gotten out of the car just so she could make sure that everything being said was casual and friendly and nothing more.

"Can you move your seat up?" Bucky requested of Sam.

As maturely as Sam could, he replied with a quick and bitter: "No."

Amelia rolled her eyes at their behaviour. Whilst they might not have spent the entire trip arguing, it was still frustrating to see them forcing each other into uncomfortable situations, especially because it meant that she was dragged into them. "Here," she sighed, "you can sit behind Steve, there's a bit more leg room." Sam had purposely moved his seat back when getting into the car so Amelia wasn't all that surprised that Bucky wanted more leg room.

They did an awkward shuffle around the back of the car, Bucky sliding into Steve's seat whilst Amelia stood up as much as she could in the tiny beetle and stepped onto Bucky's emptied seat. The little move around meant that her eyes were removed from Steve and Sharon for just a moment.

Sam and Bucky saw it first, and they immediately moved to try and hide it from her. Sam turned in his seat and bent his head slightly to try and keep the view away from her, both of them beginning to loudly speak over one another, trying to distract Amelia as best as they could.

She looked between them with confusion etched onto her face, her body shrinking back into the seat as the two basically yelled frantically at her, "what are you guys doin-"

It didn't take much for her to spot them, only having to bend her head slightly to look over Sam's face. Amelia had to do a double take, unsure that what she was seeing was real. But no matter how many times she blinked, the view remained the same.

Sharon Carter and Steve Rogers were kissing.

* * *

 **A/N: I'M SO SORRY YOU HAD TO WAIT AN ENTIRE DAY JUST FOR A RED HERRING AND ANOTHER CLIFFHANGER I'M A BAD WRITER FEEL FREE TO SEND ME ABUSE I'LL TAKE IT!**

 **To Guest, I'M SORRRYYYYYYYYYY! And I'm glad you enjoyed the punch, I was unsure about it but I'm really happy with the way the chapter came together personally**

 **To LoveFiction2018, sorry if probably wasn't the reaction you wanted :/**

 **To Pitspee, SO HAPPY WE LIKE DOLL BECAUSE HE'LL BE USING THAT WORD A LOT IN MY BUCKY FANFIC! Aww I didn't think about that, Bucky could come live on the farm and help with the goats lol. And we'll just have to wait and see ;)**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, glad you loved them, very sorry about the cliffhanger, very sorry about this next cliffhanger, please don't hate me lol**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, did she tell him tho? Not really. Annoyingly. It's so frustrating cause I just want to write loads of scenes where Steve like talks to her belly and shit and ugh Papa Steve is gonna be so fun to write. And glad you're a fan of the Bucky and Amelia bonding scene ^^**

 **To BrittStar1199, sorry you had to wait an extra day! Also sorry for getting your hopes up about her telling him she was pregnant. I'm basically just really sorry for the entirety of Part Four tbh.**

 **To Nicolaaa, haha I'm sorry you had to wait a day for the next update**

 **To Sam0728, I KNOW RIGHT but bless him he got nervous and he doesn't want to ruin his best mates relationship. And ikr it's a good thing he's a super soldier or else he might not have been able to handle how fast his heart was beating.**

 **To LadyAmazon, OKAY I SHOULD TOTALLY DO A COOL GENDER REVEAL CHAPTER THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME INSPIRATION BLESS YOUR SOUL I'M VERY SORRY ABOUT THIS CHAPTER THOUGH**

 **To Assbitch67, Satan is my full name, I just use Rae as a nickname ;) And I'm glad you laughed at that line cause god knows I did. I'm hoping to eventually build up a sort of sibling bond with those two, she's already taken Wanda as her little sister. I think Amelia has this unspoken mission of getting all the broken and lonely people in the world and making them her family lol.**

 **And a big thank you to everyone that read the chapter (I think I might have forgotten to put this at the end of the last chapter, so thanks for reading the other one as well) and again, I'm very sorry about this chapter, hopefully the next one will make up for it because something BIG happens, something you've all been waiting for! (No, it isn't Wolverine's cameo, sorry to disappoint)**


	90. Chapter Eighty-Six

**CHAPTER EIGHTY-SIX**

* * *

"Delusion detests focus and romance provides the veil."

― **Suzanne Finnamore**

* * *

"I owe you again," Steve noted as he looked at the boot full of useful equipment. Sharon had returned Steve's suit and shield, Sam's pilot gear, and Amelia's bracelets. It wasn't the only useful thing Sharon had given him in the space of one week. She'd also given him and his team a lift over to the United Nations in Vienna, given them intel on Bucky's whereabouts, let them out when things started to go wrong in the bunker, and kept their whereabouts a secret from her boss. The help Sharon had provided was a lot and Steve wasn't quite sure how he'd ever be able to return the favour to her.

"I'm keeping a list," she joked playfully, shrugging her shoulders so that the soldier knew she wasn't too concerned about him paying her back. What Sharon was doing was down to her knowing that it was right, rather than her just wanting to do Steve favours though it did motivate her a little more. She looked over to the car behind them, seeing Bucky, Sam and Amelia all staring over at them. "You know, he kinda tried to kill me."

"Sorry, I'll put that on the list, too," Steve cringed apologetically as they turned back to face the boot of Sharon's car. They were stood closer than was necessary, shoulders practically touching and Steve would be lying if he claimed that he wasn't standing that close to the blonde on purpose. The soldier saw no harm in doing so, not thinking of how this portrayal of familiarity would affect Sharon, only concentrating on how it would spark a flame of jealousy within his lover.

"Along with how extremely pleasant your friend has been towards me?" Sharon stated sarcastically, nodding her head over to the car and Steve immediately knew that the blonde was talking about Amelia. He heard her say the word 'friend', and he moved to correct her, but then he decided not to. He wasn't quite sure why, but his desire to make Amelia feel as jealous as he had when she'd been giggling at Bucky's comments in the back of the car made the decision for him to not correct Sharon and allow her to think that he was single.

"They're going to come looking for you now," he continued, changing the subject and turning onto a more concerning topic.

"I know," Sharon responded. Of course it was scary knowing that the people she worked for would be hunting her down, but Sharon believed in what Steve was fighting for and more importantly, she believed in Steve. At first she'd been biased, just doing what she believed her Aunt Peggy would do, but then she met Steve and she felt his light warm her skin and he made her believe in him too.

"Well, thank you, Sharon, for everything." At some point the two had turned to face each other, standing so close that their breaths of air were brushing one another's faces, it was warm and uncomfortable and it was an open invitation to one of them.

Amidst the drowning and consuming thoughts of how amazing Steve Rogers was, Sharon found the closeness all too tempting. How was she really supposed to resist the angel stood in front of her though? A _single_ angel, as far as she was aware. Standing on to her tip-toes she pushed her lips against Steve's, feeling as though that moment right there would be her last opportunity to get her affections across to the soldier.

Steve pushed Sharon away as fast as he could, realising the folly he'd made and immediately looking towards the car with wide eyes full of panic. His eyes connected with Amelia's and finally he saw the war-bred demon everyone else did. Her dark eyes consumed all light, becoming black bottomless pits that somehow reflected every fear in his heart. Her hatred, that was his biggest fear, and he saw it burning brightly in the nightshade that fuelled her iris'. Her hair fell like strands of raven wing feathers down her shoulders, wrapping around her face, making the detesting expression displayed even more hard hitting, like a witch's curse that pulsed around him and caused tidal waves to bash against his core.

"Let me out, Sam," Amelia ground her teeth together as the words passed her lips in a foreboding quietness.

"Amelia, wai-"

"Sam let me out of this fucking car right now or I will use my powers to bring down the bridge above us, then I'll use two of the stones to grind your balls together," she didn't have enough time or enough care within her to debate whether she should face Steve and Sharon. There was no stopping her.

Sam's eyes widened at her oddly descriptive threat. "Okay, damn." He jumped out of the car seat and moved to pull the chair forward for her to get out but she'd already pushed it forward herself, jumping out of the car and racing towards the two blonde's with her hands clenched into fists. Bucky rushed out of the car as well in case he was needed; He shared a look with Sam, both observing the younger Stark with fear, for the first time neither of them moving to argue.

"How dare you!" Amelia clamoured as she closed in on them, raising a fist and beginning to shake it in their direction, a warning of what was about to happen.

Steve rushed forward to meet the brunette half way, grabbing a hold of her fist before she could bring down any deadly force on anyone. "Amelia, stop, it's not what you think," he attempted to calm her down but even Steve felt out of his depth, practically able to feel the dark powers radiating from her like hellfire.

The enraged psychic could only scoff at Steve's words. "Oh, okay, so your lips weren't just touching a moment ago? Oh, ha, my mistake. Must be going blind." Her sarcastic words were trembling beneath the force of the rage she was barely keeping contained. She continued to look between Sharon and Steve, seeing only concerned expressions when what she wanted was answers as to why they'd gone from retrieving equipment to kissing beneath an overpass.

Amelia wasn't even sure what was happening, all she knew was that Sharon's lips had been against her soldiers and there was an anger burning so violently within her but it wasn't uncontrollable fury. No. For the first time in a while, Amelia was incredibly focused.

"Amelia, please, just take a step back," Steve's hand placed pressure on her shoulder and she immediately slapped it away.

It was obvious why Steve was trying to get her to move away from Sharon, Amelia immediately assuming that he was just trying to do the exact same thing Tony had by putting her in a cage. "Fuck, Steve, I'm not going to kill her!"

"That wasn't what I meant," he denied, dropping his hand down as a show of goodwill which he hoped would ease her rage.

"I'm sorry, a- are you two dating?" Sharon interrupted, pointing between them in confusion

"You didn't know?" Amelia's inquisitive question came out far more aggressive than Sharon had been expecting, the three words concluding that yes, yes Steve and Amelia were actually dating.

"No, he said you were friends," Sharon professed honestly, shame overtaking her lungs as she looked clearly panicked at what she'd done though at first all her expression did was make it seem like she was scared of Amelia. Which, to be fair, she should have been.

Immediately Steve wanted to punch himself, wishing he'd just done what he'd first thought to do and corrected Sharon, clearly that had been the catalyst behind Sharon's kiss. Still, he didn't exactly say to her 'no me and Amelia are just friends', he'd simply not moved to correct her when she made the assumption, and he felt like that clarification was important for Amelia to know. He raised his hand, a signal for Sharon to stop talking as he addressed Amelia, "no I didn't, no, she said we were friends and I just... didn't correct her." He began to realise that his rushed out words hadn't actually done anything to help his case.

"Oh,. Oh that's bloody brilliant." Sarcasm was her only defense, the only thing stopping her from unleashing ruination on all of them, Sam and Bucky included. "That's just fucking fantastic," she continued bitterly, deciding that she'd heard enough about the situation and seen enough. There was only so long Amelia would be able to hold back the powers that were itching to escape and destroy.

"Amelia," Steve called after her.

"No, I need ten minutes away from you right now or I swear to god I'm going to punch you in your perfect teeth," Amelia yelled back as she proceeded to walk back the way she'd came, passing the car but stopping for one moment so that she could also take out some of her anger out on Bucky. "Is this what you meant Bucky? The darkness is necessary?" She threw out a fake laugh, mocking what he'd said earlier, completely abandoning the saying that she'd actually started to quite appreciate. Pointing over towards Sharon and Steve, she spat out: "Explain to me how that was fucking necessary." Once she was done making that proclamation Amelia continued on her journey, stopping once she was far enough away from the car that she couldn't hear any of them speaking.

For a moment Amelia needed to be left alone with her own thoughts and just those so that she could figure out the betrayal. After all that talk about discussing their future life after sorting out the mess with the accords and Nutsack, and then Steve just went and _kissed_ another woman. It didn't make sense, and maybe that's what hurt the most. Did he not want her? Was that the issue?

They had a baby for god's sake! Of course, he had no idea of the small bundle of light growing inside of her, but that shouldn't have made a difference. It was still wrong of him to do what he did, and it had her questioning whether she could even trust him to be a father.

Steve didn't wait long before beginning to follow his lover, hating the saddened look on her face too much to just allow her to fester in those emotions, especially because he had been the cause of it. He started to move towards her, but was stopped as he reached the car, a hand wrapping around his wrist and stopping him from proceeding. "Steve, she's still mad, maybe just leave her alone for a little bit to cooldown," Bucky suggested, keeping his voice low.

The soldier instantly repelled at the idea, for mostly selfish reasons. Bucky was the cause behind everything, Steve thought, if Bucky hadn't been there buddying up with his girlfriend then he would never have gotten so jealous and done something _so stupid_. "No offense Buck, but please don't tell me how I should or shouldn't treat _my_ girlfriend," he'd accentuated the word 'my' with so much force and so much poison that it made Bucky pull his hand away from his friend's wrist.

"I'm only trying to help," the metal-armed giant mumbled, looking down to the floor once before meeting Steve's eyes again, no clear malicious intentions hidden behind his icy blues, making Steve realise just how cruel he'd been. Bucky wasn't trying to do anything wrong, Steve had just become stupidly insecure. What happened had happened because he decided it would be a great idea to lead Sharon along, the soldier having no regards for the feelings of both girls.

"Bucky it's okay," Steve said quietly after releasing a long sigh, expelling all the anger from his body. Bucky didn't look so convinced at first though, clearly worried for his best friends relationship as from the few moments he'd seen, they really did love each other. Bucky was their number one supporter, happy that his buddy had finally found a girl that can keep up with him, and happy that a girl he'd played a part in breaking had recovered and managed to find a life, the last thing he wanted was for all that to fall apart. Steve raised his hand up and patted the metal-armed giant's shoulder, forcing a placid smile onto his lips, "really, go wait in the car, and try not to fight with Sam."

"I'm not the one even starting the fights," Bucky whispered under his breath as Steve continued his journey over to his lover. He didn't actually go into the car, Sam wasn't either, they were both watching and analysing the soldier's interaction with the psychic.

"I told you to leave me alone," she snapped, hearing the scraping of small stones against more rock beneath Steve's feet before she even looked at him. It was obvious who it would be, Steve was the only idiot dumb enough to follow after the enraged woman even after she told him not to. In a way, she'd been secretly hoping he would.

"I'm not going to let you just stand here upset, am I?" He replied, stopping a few centimetres away from her, trying to give her a little bit of what she wanted by making sure there was some space between them. He wouldn't touch her, not until she let him again. "Despite what you may be thinking right now I do care about you, a lot actually."

"Don't throw that at me like it's supposed to fix everything," she hissed, turning around so that she could fully face the soldier, making sure she didn't move anywhere near him. Amelia didn't want to hurt him. But she was still so angry, full to the brim with questions and theories, trying to make sense of why he'd kiss someone else. "I just don't get it, did you think it was a game? I know you were jealous of me and Bucky, but that isn't a good enough excuse for kissing another woman."

"Yeah, fine, I was jealous," Steve finally admitted to both her and himself, "but you weren't there back in our time Amelia, you didn't see what happened. Almost every date I went on, my date would choose Bucky. Every girl I had a crush on, they chose Bucky. I love the guy, but seeing him charm every woman in a room while you disgusted them can make you a little bitter."

"But it's still different," she denied, shaking her head at the soldier, "Bucky knows that we're dating, in fact, he's repeatedly said that he doesn't want to let his presence ruin our relationship. Meanwhile, you go standing all up inside Sharon's business, smiling at her, fluttering your eyelashes, making her think that we're _just friends_." He winced when she put everything like that, creating an image that Steve couldn't even deny, he truly had just led Sharon on and pulled her towards him like a moth to a flame. She saw his apprehension, his lack of a reply, and Amelia knew then that she was right but she didn't like it one bit. It would have been much easier for her to just put the blame on Sharon, but what use would that do? "Tell me I'm wrong Steve, tell me you didn't string that girl along for the sake of some pitiful game."

He didn't say anything, his silence louder than any words could possibly be.

"Ugh, I'm so fucking mad at you right now." She didn't hate him or anything, she never could. But Amelia wanted him to know that he'd hurt her. All it took was for Steve to look in her eyes though, all it took was for him to stare into her eyes and see how they projected a night sky where all stars, all light, had gone out, like the entire universe had died. Tears pricked the corner of them, but Amelia's rage mixed with her pride stopped them from escaping and gliding down her freckled face. No more crying. Not for this. He didn't even deserve her tears in that moment. She stomped her foot down and bit down harshly on her lip as her nails protruded the palm of her hand painfully. It had been so long since she'd harmed herself that way. "Those are supposed to be my lips, only meant for me, only meant to touch me."

"I'm sorry." What more could Steve say? He was wracking his brains over and over again, trying to come up with the perfect words to make her realise that despite his idiot mistake he still loved her, and only her. He didn't expect her forgiveness, not immediately, but he wanted her to know that she was his one and only. His biggest fear in that moment was that he might have caused her to think otherwise.

"I should bloody well hope you are," Amelia huffed, "I don't even know how we're supposed to move on from this."

"I think I do," his voice was airy as he became lost in the idea that was produced in his mind. It was grand, and perhaps too much, but Steve was willing to do just about anything to make sure that his mistake didn't end with her leaving him. He wouldn't be able to live without her. Though the soldier wasn't sure when he'd exactly become so attached to her, the sudden chance of her actually leaving him had his heart shattering.

"Oh, please enlighten me," the brunette requested, mostly sarcastically, not believing that anything would be able to stomp out that flower of doubt he'd planted into the back of her mind. Then again, she never expected him to reach into his jeans pocket and pull out a black velvet box. "What is that?" She'd seen something similar to it quite a bit in the romantic movies and TV shows she'd watched, but her life wasn't like that, or so she'd thought.

"It's an engagement ring," he answered, opening the box up to reveal a beautiful ring. It was simple in design, a thin silver band that had three diamonds encrusted into it. The ring was nowhere near as grand as some of the rings she'd seen in the TV shows and movies, but Amelia for some reason found herself falling in love with it all the same. Steve analysed the way she was looking at the ring, fearing she would slap it out of his hand. "I know what just happened has made you feel betrayed, and you have every right to be angry at me, hell I'm angry with myself. But this ring, it's my way of showing that I choose you. I have chosen you, and I will choose you. In a thousand different lifetimes, I choose you, all of you."

"What?" Amelia shrugged, sniffing at the air and crossing her hands over her chest as she stepped closer to the soldier, "you think you can just flash me a ring and I'll forgive you? Just like that?"

One of his eyebrows raised up and his eyes looked down at her with an adorable glaze over them. The puppy eyes, her one weakness. "No, but I am hoping it'll help my case slightly."

She looked between him and the ring, not seeing a ring but a humongous profession that _yes_ they would get their life together in the end, their peaceful hours, their pet dog, their child would grow up loved by both parents and _have_ both of their parents with them. The kiss had been a mistake, the game of jealousy she'd technically instigated had been a mistake, they'd made so many mistakes. But their love, that child, how could that ever be a mistake? "Well, it worked." She eventually answered, hands unwinding, nails leaving her skin and Steve's hand replaced their biting grip with his own gentle embrace. "I haven't forgiven you, and I also don't think we should get engaged right now," Amelia admitted, though Steve didn't seem so surprised by her long-winded way of saying 'no'.

"Yeah, this isn't really how I wanted to propose to you," he replied, agreeing with her decision fully. Steve was ashamed to admit that he probably would have proposed to her if it meant getting to keep her by his side, but she was right. Getting engaged in order to solve an argument wasn't something either of them wanted, because then it wasn't really an engagement, it was just a bit of tape over a violently bleeding wound.

"And it's not the right time," she added, remembering what Steve had said in their bath that morning, "if I'm getting married, then I want my brother to be there. And you'll want Bucky to be there, healthy." Steve nodded his head, concurring with Amelia's presumptions. "So another subject for the hot chocolate at home thing then?"

"Or, we could do something better than that…" Steve looked back down at the ring, the ring that had spent far too much time just being carried in his pocket. "Have you ever heard of a promise ring?" Amelia shook her head, no. "It's like a show of commitment between two people, and for us, it could be a promise that one day we will get engaged and have a peaceful life, with a dog, and kids, and lots of hot chocolate." He held up the ring towards her and Amelia was smiling so widely, a girlish giggle passing her lips. Steve was saying all the right things to her.

"You need to stop doing that," Amelia forced her smile into a pout, though her eyes were lit up so lightly like a newborn sun had been born within them, making the pout meaningless on her face.

"Stop doing what?"

"Making me want to kiss you all the time, it's very frustrating when I've got other things to do." Like being furious with him, but she couldn't even really remember what she was so angry about, Amelia was so caught up in her fantastical dreams of that farm with her family.

"Is that a yes?" Steve asked through a low chuckle.

"I'm going to have to get a ring for you as well," she noted, not liking that he was the only one making the promise, she wanted their relationship to be equal so she'd need to get him a ring so that Steve could always look down at his own hand and know that she'd made the promise as well.

"Deal," he harmonised.

"Deal." As soon as she'd said those words he slipped the ring onto her finger and then they were embracing, Amelia jumped into him like a koala, her legs wrapping around his waist whilst her arms went around his shoulders, her lips connecting with his, his own as familiar to her as the pancake recipe she kept inside her recipe scrapbook.

It was another promise for Steve, and though he might not have been great with keeping his others, the soldier was _determined_ to keep that one.

"Are you still mad at me?" Steve asked once their lips separated again.

"Oh babe," Amelia cooed deceptively, Steve sensing something far more sinister as she ran her fingers through his hair, "I am _absolutely_ furious with you, I'm like seconds away from busting out my powers and tearing everything apart."

"Well, at least we know now you're pretty good at controlling it, all that training actually worked out," he joked, feigning positivity to mask the way he'd gulped under her threat. That was the one thing about Amelia Stark, though she was indeed as much an angel as Steve, there was indeed devil blood running through her feigns so when she made such baleful threats there was always a chance she'd stay true to them.

The couple were so enthralled in their new promise that neither noticed the approaching blonde who had previously been stood with the metal-armed giant and Sam, watching the two argue and then suddenly make up. She'd waited until she was sure that the two had properly made up before approaching, hoping that her appearance wouldn't simply cause more issues for Steve.

"Uh, hi," she greeted awkwardly, fidgeting nervously with her fingers as Steve let Amelia down from his arms, both of them staring at her with just as much awkwardness as she felt.

"Sharon," Steve spoke first, stepping in front of Amelia as though he was trying to keep Sharon as some big secret, he just didn't want her presence to ruin the moment they'd just shared. "Maybe you should just go."

"I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry," she admitted, speaking more to Amelia than Steve as it was the brunette who she knew she'd hurt more, "I thought me and Steve had something but I was clearly reading the wrong signals, please don't let my mistake ruin anything here."

"It isn't your mistake to apologise for, it's Steve's," Amelia felt more guilty for Sharon who had been strung along and made to believe that there was an opportunity to be with Steve, not guilty enough that she would leave Steve to give the woman a chance, but just guilty enough to apologise to the girl she'd previously had a distaste towards. The brunette did feel partly to blame anyway as she had known what she was doing by sitting in the back seat with Bucky. "When I was charging over I wasn't moving in to punch you, it was Steve I was aiming for."

"Wait, what?" He'd been so sure that she was going to charge and attack Sharon, the thought that she'd actually been aiming for him hadn't even crossed his mind. She didn't respond, just smiled and then walked away before she started another argument with Steve over her violent intentions. "You can't say that to your fiance."

"Almost fiance."

* * *

 **A/N: Soooooo, what do we think? Some people were expecting the kiss, some weren't. I've tried to make it clear this isn't a girl vs girl thing, it was a girlfriend vs boyfriend thing entirely, y'know? AND ALSO WHY THEY'RE KIND OF NOT REALLY BUT ONE DAY WILL BE ENGAGED! YAYS!**

 **ONTO THE AIRPORT SCENE LIKE NOW IS THE TIME TO START HOLDING ONTO YOUR WIGS, well no, the next chapters quite tame in my opinion BUT THEN THE ONE AFTER THAT AND THEN THE ONE AFTER THAT AND OH MY GOD THE ONE AFTER THAT**

 **To Pitspee, she tried**

 **To Brahmasmi, mate I'm a lover of cliche's and will always unknowingly throw them into my stories because I love reading them and writing them and also living them but that doesn't happen as much as I'd like lol. Glad you enjoyed the chapter!**

 **To LoveFiction2018, Amelia doesn't see it as lying, she's just waiting for the right time (but yes, she totally lied) and nope, he pushed her away as fast as he could cause Steve is dedicated to Amelia, he's just also an idiot sometimes.**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, yus! My updates might become sparse after tomorrow mainly because I'll have no internet for a week or two but I'm hoping I can steal my mums phone internet to upload chapters. SO I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT THE INCONVENIENCE ESPECIALLY BECAUSE ALL THE BIG SHITS STARTING TO HAPPEN. Hope you enjoyed the chapter ^^**

 **To rosequartz121, IF IT HELPS I HATE ME TOO I'M SO SORRY**

 **To BrittStar1199, I can't tell if that last bits aimed at me or not lol. Loved this reaction but also I'M SO SORRY FOR CLIFFHANGERS AND STUFFS, hope it turned out the way you wanted it to.**

 **To Hellawoez, Steve just isn't appreciating what he's got because he's still locked up in that soldier lyfe. It's that whole 'you don't realise what you've got until it's gone' kind of situation.**

 **To AngelElmarlienHenning, so I'm guessing you didn't expect an engagement to come out of this then? It was a test I guess, she was really going to tell him the night before but then they waited too long and her anxieties came back, then Steve said the wrong thing (unintentionally) and it made her decide to just wait until everything was over to tell him. BUT OH MY GOD THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A TOTALLY BETTER ENDING IF SHE WAS JUST LIKE 'BISH I'M PREGNANT' STEVE WOULD BE KISSING HER FEET WITH APOLOGIES AFTER THAT.**

 **To Sam0728, oH HELL YEAH SHE WOULD! Ahaha nah it isn't Sharon that she's made at. Kissing has always been a two people thing to Amelia so she knows that Steve would have also taken part, if that makes sense?**

 **To Assbitch67, lololol I KNOW I'M TERRIBLE WITH THE CLIFFHANGERS WE AT LEAST GET A BREAK FOR A LIL WHILE (like two chapters I guess).**

 **To LadyAmazon, OKAY YOU DID HELL FIRE LIKE THAT IS MY NUMBER ONE DISNEY SONG HOW DID YOU KNOW THATS INSANE!**

 **And a big thanks to everyone that read the chapter!**


	91. Chapter Eighty-Seven

**CHAPTER EIGHTY-SEVEN**

* * *

"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity."

― **George Carlin**

* * *

The squad arrived at the airport, driving into the car park and parking on the 6th floor beside a grey van. Amelia was quick to get out of the beaten up blue beetle, knowing who was waiting inside of the van. As she was exiting, from the van came her favorite archer and the brunette immediately approached him. "Clint!" She cried joyously, the pair colliding halfway and embracing one another. "Oh man, it's been a while. How are the kids? How is the farm? How's your wife, oh and you had a new baby, is he okay? _How much does he poop_?" Clint was one of the first people she wanted to talk with after figuring out that she was pregnant, he was, after all, the Avenger with the most experience with children. The last question had slipped out accidentally, her long list of questions on raising a child mixing with her list of questions on Clint's wellbeing.

"Whoa okay, hi to you too Mia," his eyes widened slightly at the bombardment of questions but he did his best with answering them, "uh, kids are good, the farm is good, the wife is good, Nate is good. As for that last question, why do you need to know?"

"No reason, just curious… Wanda!" The fellow psychic was the perfect way for her to change the subject before anyone (mainly Steve) got suspicious. She jumped her way over to Wanda, though Amelia calmed slightly once she was in touching distance, her hands immediately went onto the fellow psychic's shoulders so that she could look her pointedly in the eye. "I've just got one question for you: are you okay?"

Steve had told her pretty much everything he'd found out when talking to Tony. All about how her brother had confined Wanda to the facility, locking her up and making the young girl into nothing more than a threat that needed to be subjugated. Of course, Amelia didn't agree with it. Half her life had been spent conquered and crushed. Knowing that one of her closest friends, hell, knowing that her _sister_ , was getting that same treatment broke her heart. It was why she'd greeted the witch with so much excitement and glee, she'd wanted Wanda to see that to other people she was simply a friend, not a monster, or something dangerous, but just a human being. It's what Amelia had always wanted as a child from the Hydra agents but they'd been given orders to not interact with her at all.

"I will be now," Wanda reassured, nodding her head over to Steve, her own way of thanking him for sending Clint to get her out of the facility and wake her up to how she'd been acting. When Wanda first found out about her captivity, she'd been angry, but she'd still just become docile and gone along with it, knowing that because of what Amelia had done in Lagos the world was starting to hate on her for simply standing by, not doing enough, and worst of all having abilities too similar to the ex-Hydra agents.

"Steve told me that Tony was keeping you locked up in the house, I'm sure that was hard," she rubbed her hands up and down the witch's arms, offering comfort. Hard wasn't a suitable enough word, but she knew Wanda wouldn't want to let it get to her. She'd been hardened by life, losing her parents, losing Pietro, fearing her unknown powers and having the public get behind that fear. But the one thing about Wanda, something she'd always thank Amelia for, was the fact that she didn't sit around and just cry about everything, she got up and tackled life head on, showing it that nothing would bring her down. "I'm sorry that you're even in there, it's mostly my fault," Amelia continued to apologise, well aware of public opinion because she'd been reading newspapers (they were really the only form of entertainment that she had whilst on the run).

"Not really, Tony's the one who locked the doors and put Vision as my guard," Wanda argued. Though she had admittedly been quite angry with her older sister after the Lagos incident. Amelia had pushed her out of the way and taken over without a second thought to what affect it would have, Wanda _knew_ that she would have been able to prevent all those deaths if she'd just been given a chance. But in that moment Lagos felt like it was so long ago, and Wanda didn't want to be angry to the only sibling she had, it felt so pointless when the world felt like it was falling apart.

"Right, and he's not here, is he?" Amelia asked about Vision, looking behind her but there really was no sign of the extraordinary man. He'd chosen his side. "I'm sorry about that too."

"It's fine," Wanda responded but her voice was lifeless as she said it, any emotion that could have been revealed was all sadness. Amelia understood why. Wanda and Vision had become a 'when will they' within the facility, and the brunette had been one of their biggest supporters, constantly doing her best to give them alone time, not wishing her younger sister to go through a year of painful waiting like she had.

"No it's not," Amelia replied, her voice turning to a whisper so that the conversation became a private one between her and Wanda. "You don't need to hide your feelings from me, I'm the biggest lovesick fool there is, I can practically smell it on you."

"Really? I thought I put deodorant on this morning," the witch joked, not denying Amelia's thoughts as she saw no use in it. She and Vision had gotten quite close, though they hadn't become anything permanent, their lives had become shrouded in fleeting touches and forlorn smiles. Something was blossoming between them, though she had no idea if that flower would survive the torrential storm clouding their lives due to the accords.

"We're really sorry about this Clint, you know we wouldn't have called if I had any other choice," Steve said, moving to stand beside Amelia whilst Sam remained a few steps away. Bucky had stayed by the car, separating himself automatically from the small group. He hadn't felt a part of something for quite a while.

"Hey man, you're doing me a favour. Besides, I owe a debt." His eyes strayed over to Wanda and they shared a knowing look, both taking a second to remember Pietro, the speedster that had sacrificed himself to save Clint and a child.

"We appreciate you both for coming," Amelia noted, wrapping one arm around Steve's waist, "it's good to know we've still got people behind our back." She'd had her doubts because it wasn't just the accords splitting them anymore, it was also Bucky, and how they're defending him.

"It was time to get off my ass," Wanda shrugged, referring to Clint's speech that he'd given her whilst escaping her from the facility and Vision's watchful guard.

"How about our other recruit?" Steve asked, noticing that the man he'd sent them after didn't seem to be with them.

Clint wandered back over to the Van, pulling open the door and revealing a brown-haired male, the man, Amelia assumed, that was Sam's 'guy', Scott Lang. "He's raring to go," he cheered loudly in order to wake up the man who immediately jumped in his seat, "had to put a little coffee in him, but, he should be good."

Scott began to get out of his car, looking around himself in confusion, making Amelia wonder if he'd joined the team willing or just been kidnapped by Clint. "What timezone is this?" He asked as he exited the van.

"Come on," Clint pushed him forward, not bothering to answer the question. The man clearly wasn't a professional, not in the same way that Steve and Clint were, Amelia wasn't even sure if he'd be able to fight let alone defend himself against super-powered beings. He just looked ordinary, like the kind of guy you'd pass on the street without giving a second thought to. Someone ordinary definitely didn't belong on the team.

"Captain America…" His voice turned soft like cream as he reached out and shook his childhood hero's hand, disbelieving that the angel was stood in front of him. Really stood in front of him.

"Mr. Lang." Steve greeted back respectfully, keeping his handshake light on the man, which ended up being a mistake as he continued to shake the hand longer than expected. The soldier could see out of the corner of his eye his girlfriend placing her hand over her mouth as giggles spewed out of her.

"It's an honor," he breathed out, eyes fixed on the soldier's beautiful blue eyes, finally realising why all the girls loved them so much. Then he looked down at their hands. Captain America's hand. He was shaking Captain America's hand! He couldn't stop shaking Captain America's hand. He really should stop shaking Captain America's hand. "I'm shaking your hand too long, wow, this is awesome!" Finally, he managed to pull his hand away, Steve continuing to try and be polite, simply smiling in response.

Scott's eyes moved to the girl at his side, registering that there were other people there besides him and Captain America. "And Amelia Stark too, cool." He tried to downplay his excitement with her (if he didn't he was sure he'd scream) half because he wanted to make a good expression and half because it was Amelia Stark and ever since the great work she'd done in Sokovia the youngest Stark had had a place on his freebie list. Of course, Scott wasn't going to pursue anything, not when he had a perfect girl waiting for him at home, and especially not when Amelia's boyfriend was stood right there. One could say that Captain America was at the top of his 'people I don't ever want to fight with' list.

"Hi," she greeted, only managing the short word as her giggles still persisted. Amelia didn't hate the guy, in fact, she found his overzealous personality quite appealing, but that wasn't what he was there for. It was his fighting skills that she cared most about.

"Hi," he felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest, her voice was way more feminine than he'd expected as she'd always had this air of masculinity surrounding her. Maybe it was just how he perceived the strength she showed in a fight. Either way, he felt his heart beating a mile a minute. There he was, Scott Lang, with the Avengers. He was so going to tell everyone about that moment, especially his daughter who he knew idolized Amelia just as much as he did. Turning around, he finally realised that _the_ Scarlet Witch was also there, "I know you too, you're great!"

Turning back to Captain America, he still couldn't believe if it. He could still be dreaming. He needed to make sure he wasn't. In order to ensure that the people around him were very much real, he grabbed a hold of Steve's shoulder. Yep, they were real. And enormous, "jeez," he yawped in wonderment, squeezing one or two more times (maybe three) just so he could feel the mass muscle beneath Steve's shirt. Then he realised that he was basically copping a feel of Captain America and he pulled his hands away as though Steve's body had burnt his fingertips. Professional, he needed to be professional. Childish glee aside, they'd called him there because they needed his help. Oh my god, they needed _his_ help. That was so _cool_. "Ah, look, I want to say, I know you know a lot of super people, so… thinks for thanking of me," professional, Scott Lang was the king of professional. Looking past Steve he noticed Sam, a familiar face, "hey man!"

"What's up, Tic Tac?" Sam responded cooly, arms across his chest, standing tall.

"Uh, good to see you. Look, what happened last time when I-"

"It was a great audition, but it'll… it'll never happen again." He laughed mockingly, making sure to interrupt Scott before he could reveal how he'd defeated the pilot whilst being as small as an ant. The memory was etched in Sam's memory, haunting him, reminding him that he needed to have a rematch soon for the sake of his own pride.

"Oh, you've _got_ to tell me what happened now," Amelia mused, looking between the two characters. Sam hadn't explained how he knew Scott, just that he would be a good addition to their team and helpful when it came to fighting off their enemies. She'd asked, multiple times, but he'd always refused to tell the tale. She felt Sam glaring at the back of her head whilst Scott seemed pretty excited to share a story time with the brunette.

"Did they tell you what we're up against?" Steve asked, being his usual leader self and sticking with the mission at hand. It's exactly what Scott had expected from the brave man that had filled his childhood.

"Something about some 'psycho-assassins'?" Scott replied, relaying what little information he'd been given by Clint. All the archer really had to do was tell him that he'd get to work with Captain America and he was raring to go.

"Why'd you look at me when you said that?" Amelia interrogated, sharpening her gaze.

"Was I looking at you? I didn't notice. Sorry." Scott was sure he hadn't but he still apologised, she was the last person on the team that he wanted to offend. She had really only been teasing him though and Steve could tell by the mischievous glint in her eyes. It was Amelia's friendliest way of getting a read on the stranger's personality.

"We're outside the law on this one. So, if you come with us, you're a wanted man," Steve didn't need to put the man through a bunch of tests, he just needed to know if Scott was really prepared to side with them.

"Yeah, well, what else is new?" Scott threw his shoulders up, revealing more of his backstory, knowing it was what Amelia really wanted to know. He'd been a wanted man, and a prisoner, but that didn't make Amelia trust him any less. The fact that he'd admitted it showed that he wasn't going to hide anything from them. And the fact that he'd been to prison, told her that he was prepared to face whatever troubles came his way.

"We should get moving," Bucky called from behind the car, not wanting to intrude on their bonding moment but simply wanting to remind them that time was of the essence. The best case scenario for the team was to get to Siberia before Nutsack, that way they'd be able to stop him from activating the other Winter Soldier's.

"We've got a chopper lined up," Clint explained. It was great news to Amelia as for her that had been his most important job, sorting out transportation for them. Or, it would have been great news had an alarm not started to blare out through the airport, including the car park. The words were spoken in German, but luckily for the team, both Amelia and Bucky were fluent in that language.

"They're evacuating the airport," the metal-armed giant explained, looking disgruntled.

"Guessing that means brother dearest is here," Amelia sighed, feeling a little bit more hopeless than before.

"What, wait, you're brother's here too?" Scott asked, sounding more excited than the team appreciated.

"Not on our side though," she revealed before turning to Steve, sending him a desperate look, "I can't fight him. I don't really think I can fight anyone."

He nodded his head and kissed the top of her crown, showing his support, trying to not do what he'd spent years implementing, not forcing Amelia into another fight. "You don't have to, I wouldn't ask you to anyway." It was her brother, and a real fight with real risks was about to happen, he'd be as much a villain as Hydra or Rebecca if he made her take part in that battle.

"I'll help keep you all safe, defend, but I just… I can't fight my brother, my friends." She knew that getting to Siberia was necessary, more necessary than remaining friends with the Avengers, though Amelia might hate that with all her heart, it was the truth. They'd understand in the end.

"I'm sorry we're even in this position." It was making Steve wish that he could sign the accords, obviously the documents would have to be different, but he still wished that they could have had peace. If they did have peace and unity in the team then their mission would be a lot easier. Turning to his new team, he looked them all in the eyes, "let's suit up."

Amelia and Steve marched into the airport alone, just the two of them, the strongest pairing in their entire team. They ran over to a helicopter they saw, not particularly wanting to get on it. The plan was simple, they'd distract whilst Clint and Wanda located Tony's quinjet that their team must have brought in order to get them all to the airport. With the quinjet they'd be able to get to Siberia much quicker.

As was expected by the brunette and the blond, as soon as they were moments away from the helicopter, an electronic disabler was shot at it, rendering the helicopter useless. From above them, Iron Man and the War Machine floated down, landing directly in front of them. "Wow, it's so weird how you run into people at the airport. Don't you think that's weird?" Tony asked Rhodey, taking his mask off and revealing the black eye he had to Amelia.

She inhaled sharp air at the sight of it, not realising that Tony had actually though the Winter Soldier until she saw the cut and bruise on his face. She dared to think of what other damage was on his body from the fight, and though she hated the very thought of it, her mind immediately turned to what weaknesses she would be able to exploit on her brother during their duel. But the brunette also knew that he'd be doing the exact same. Before, when they'd first met, when they were dealing with Ultron, she'd demanded that Steve let her talk to Tony before they started a fight, and she was sure he remembered that and was going to try and use it against her. There was just no time for talking, not when Nutsack was already on his way to Siberia.

"Definitely weird," Rhodey agreed, following along with his friends quips.

"Hear us out Tony, please," Amelia just couldn't help it, the way she stepped in front of Steve as though she'd be able to stop them from fighting. She couldn't and shouldn't do that ever seen as she had her baby. But maybe if she could use Tony's biggest weakness, his care for her, then maybe she'd be able to stop the fight before it even happened and then they could focus their efforts onto getting Nutsack.

"That doctor, the psychiatrist, he's behind all of this," Steve explained, also entering that battle with the intentions to talk, not for Tony, but for Amelia. Because he was sick in putting her into fights she had no place in, and a fight with her one last family member was exactly that. But Tony didn't even remember a psychologist, the man that came in and did check ups on his sister and Bucky of no importance to the billionaire because he was just a background character in his mind. A meaningless face, a nobody. Exactly what Nutsack had wanted to be.

A blur of black came from their right side, jumping over the helicopter and landing on quiet feet close to them, cutting off any path of escape. It was the black panther, dressed in his very impressive suit. "Captain." Amelia eyed him, feeling a ring of the same sensation she'd felt in that bridge when they'd first met. She knew it had something to do with her powers, she had psychic abilities like Wanda but she never really used them because Amelia didn't ever want to be inside someone's head, so there was no way for Amelia to understand what it was connecting them. What great pain the panther was going through that she somehow shared.

"Your highness," Steve bowed his head reverently, trying to portray himself as anything but an enemy to the man. Whether he was friend or foe didn't matter to T'Challa though, all that mattered was getting Bucky and bringing him back to Wakanda where he would then be persecuted for his crimes in the _right_ way (the right way in his mind, being death, of course).

"Anyway," Tony interrupted, seeing no point in their exchange, "Ross gave me 36 hours to bring you in. That was 24 hours ago, reckon you could help a brother out?"

"You're after the wrong guy Tony," Amelia told him, "if you'd just stop and listen to our explanation-"

"Oh no, I'm done listening to you," he pointed an iron-clad finger in her direction, "when this is all over you're going to sit down and listen to me for once." Tony was speaking to her like she was a petulant child having a hissy fit, and he didn't care at all, that's all she was to him in that moment. A child, making dumb decisions, having lived far too long without proper guidance. He was going to be the proper guidance. His finger moved over to Steve, sending out accusation to the soldier. "His judgment is askew. His old war buddy killed innocent people yesterday."

"And there are five more super soldiers just like him, like me before I met Steve. We can't let that guy find them first or the whole world will pay for it," Amelia was saying all the right words, giving all the necessary information, making everything clear to them but the brunette could see in their passionate eyes that they only cared about one thing and couldn't possibly care less about what words she was saying. It was as she'd expected, words were meaningless, fighting was everything.

"Like she said, we can't let that happen," Steve's words were more of a threat to Tony's team. If they got in the way, then Steve's team was going to fight back and stop them. All meaningful relationships, long-time friendships, joyous memories, sad memories, aside.

"Steve, you know what's about to happen," Nat revealed herself stood on the other side of Amelia and Steve, cutting off their other exit, "do you really want to punch your way out of this one? Do you, Amelia?" The brunette couldn't meet the redhead's eyes, especially because she knew the only reason Natasha was there was because she wanted to keep the team together.

"Alright, I've run out of patience," Tony put his hands in front of his mouth, forming a makeshift megaphone as he began to yell, "Underoos!"

It had been a signal to someone, Steve and Amelia realised that when they heard the sound of scuffling footsteps. The next thing they knew Steve was having his shield stolen right out of his hands by some sort of webby substance. As soon as the shield was out of his hands, they were then webbed together. Amelia had stopped paying attention then, her eyes darting over to Tony because she knew exactly who he'd brought along. "Tony, tell me you didn't…"

Tony shrugged his shoulders at her, daring her to say more with the expression on his face, _daring_ her to have another argument with him and try to tell him that his actions were wrong whilst she committed multiple crimes and betrayals. Amelia didn't take that bait. He turned around proudly to the new addition, Peter Parker, better known as New York's friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. "Nice job, kid," he congratulated.

 _Kid._ That was the perfect name to give to Peter in Amelia's opinion. He was just a kid, just like how she'd been a kid forced into fights, forced to kill. Months ago she and her brother had found out about Spider-Man through social media videos and pictures, Tony instantly getting curious and finding out more. As soon as they learned that he was just a kid though she'd shut down all of Tony's investigations, making him swear that he wouldn't even _think_ about pulling a _child_ into their messy fights. He was saving the streets of New York, dealing with petty thefts and robberies, what he was doing wasn't all that dangerous, in no way was the boy prepared for the death that the Avengers were constantly facing.

Spider-Man stood up straighter, holding the shield awkwardly in his tiny hands, "thanks! Well, I could've stuck the landing a little better. It's just the new suit… well, it's nothing, Mr. Stark. It's it's perfect. Thank you."

"Yeah, we don't really need to start a conversation," Tony mumbled to the kid, wanting to get back to the 'discussion' he'd been having.

"Okay. Cap… Captain. Big fan, I'm Spider-Man," the kid continued to ignore Tony's orders, waving over to both Captain America and Amelia. He was sweet. Just a sweet _kid_.

"Yeah, we'll talk about it later, just…" Tony began to wave his arms, trying to politely tell the kid to shut up. He didn't want to be like his dad and yell at the boy, but he was quickly running out of patience.

"Hey, everyone," Peter continued nervously. It always happened when he got nervous, his mouth would just run off without him and boy was the kid nervous then, surrounded by all the heroes he'd aspired to become like.

Tony waited for one more second, relieved to find that the kid seemed to be done with his chattering. He turned back to Steve and Amelia, ready to challenge them some more when he remembered he needed to do something, something his dad never did for him whenever he executed a task as perfectly as Peter had done. "Good job." Tony didn't dwell on the words he'd said, moving back onto Steve and Amelia for good, feeling slightly awkward for what he'd just done but not regretting the supportiveness he'd shown to the boy. Amelia didn't hate it either. They both knew the tragic tale of Peter's uncle, how he'd died just by being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"You've been busy," Steve noted.

"And you've been a complete _idiot_. Dragging in Clint, 'rescuing' Wanda from a place she doesn't even want to leave, a safe place. And worst of all dragging Amelia into another fight," Tony had snapped, gone unhinged, his anger leaking out like sweat from his pores, "I'm trying to keep-" _I'm just trying to keep us all alive_. He'd almost said it, almost confessed the vision he'd had to them but he stopped himself just in time. They wouldn't understand, none of them, none of them except for Amelia but he didn't feel like she really cared all that much about him anymore to be concerned about the vision and what it was doing to him. "I'm trying to keep you from tearing the Avengers apart," he corrected himself, knowing they'd all at least be able to understand that even if they couldn't see the outcome of what would happen if the Avenger's were torn apart.

"You did that when you signed," Steve countered easily.

He smirked slightly, scoffing, because he hadn't. It hadn't been him who created the fracture in the team. It had been Steve, and his self-righteousness. Tony knew that because he'd watched both Steve and Amelia begin to see the positives of the accords, and whilst Steve might have immediately switched sides because of his deluded sense of wrong and right, Amelia hadn't switched. He looked over to her, ignoring Steve momentarily so he could ask _her:_ "Did I?"

Steve's eyebrows came together beneath his mask and he looked over to the brunette, "Amelia?" She'd looked down to the ground, away from both Tony and Steve's gazes, confusing her soldier because he'd thought that she was on his side. She was always on his side and Amelia had made no argument to him _for_ the accords. They hadn't really talked about them though, he realised.

Finally she looked up, but Amelia did not have an answer. She knew there were positives to the accords, and she knew that for most of the people on the team it would actually work in their favour. It wasn't a big scary life sentence like Steve had first portrayed it to be. And maybe she would have been able to tell him that if the ring wasn't burning on her finger, that promise they'd made hours earlier repeating in her scalp. She wanted that so much, that life with Steve, that she'd do anything, even side with him when she knew he was wrong. "I…" Amelia tried to speak but no words came out. She didn't have the answer either men wanted.

"Alright, we're done here. You're going to turn Barnes over, you're going to come with us, **now**! Because it's us!" He raised his voice once again, making sure to point out to the soldier and Amelia who seemed to love being caught up in their whole 'we're the good guys and you're the bad guys' spiel that the team had come together to bring them home, not an army like Ross had wanted. It was them, their family. And if Steve and Amelia really wanted to fight their family, really wanted to turn away from the one home they'd had, then Tony wasn't going to have an ounce of sympathy for them. "Or a squad of J-SOC guys with no compunction about being impolite." His eyes moved back to Amelia, pushing her to make the right decision. He needed her to. If he didn't bring her in, then her one chance at the life she'd always wanted would be gone and there would be nothing he could do. "Come on," he said the prayer under his breath, willing them with his thoughts alone.

Amelia's eyes were locked on his. Whilst the soldier was stood beside her, face blank, she looked full of sorrow and Tony couldn't help but believe that she really was considering stepping forward over to him. Hell, the billionaire was tempted to pull a Voldemort and open up his eyes, inviting her closer the same way the wizard villain had done for Draco Malfoy. Of course, he'd never tell anyone that, because then they'd know that he was actually a really big fan of Harry Potter (and considered himself a hybrid of Gryffindor, Slytherin _and_ Ravenclaw; The ultimate wizard).

"We found it. Their Quinjet's in hanger five, north runway." Sam relayed into their comms, his voice breaking through Amelia's reverbrie, reminding her of the mission at hand, reminding her that as much as she wanted the team - the _family_ \- to just reunite, they needed to take care of Nutsack first.

Sam's words were a signal to her that the fight they'd planned for was finally about to begin. Avengers vs Avengers. Family vs Family. "Tony, I'm so sorry," the apology slipped from her lips before she could stop them, making her brother confused but he didn't get time to ask why she was showing remorse.

The soldier lifted up his hands, an arrow appearing out of seemingly nowhere and breaking through the web that was binding his hands together. "Alright Lang," Steve whispered under his breath, giving the Ant-Man the signal he'd been waiting for.

"Hey, guys, something…" Peter sensed something wrong with the shield, but it took a lot of focus before he noticed what seemed to be a very tiny man climbing onto the rim of the shield. And then the next thing he knew, that tiny man had transformed into a normal sized man, kicking him in the face and pushing Peter away as he grabbed the shield.

"Whoa. What- What the hell was that?" Rhodey questioned, unsure of what he'd just seen. They all were, Steve and Amelia seeing his transformation for the first time themselves.

"I believe this is yours, Captain America," Scott offered the shield back to Steve and the soldier gladly took it.

"Oh, great," Tony sarcastically hoorahed, "alright, there's two on the parking deck, one of them's Maximoff, I'm going to grab her. Rhodey, you want to take Cap?" Tony was asking his friend but the billionaire was already setting off to go after Wanda and Clint.

"Got two in the terminal, Wilson and Barnes," Rhodey reported to the rest of the team, beginning to set off, his prime target overriding what orders Tony had given him because, after all, Barnes was the one they were all fighting over. He didn't make it very far after setting off, flying upwards only to be aggressively hit in the stomach by Steve's shield.

"Barnes is mine!" T'Challa cried, spinning around and setting off on a sprint.

It was short lived though, Amelia pushing herself and flying momentarily so she could glide over the Black Panther and land in front of him, her hands raised with white surrounding them, the beautiful star light somehow threatening. "I don't think so," her eyes were focused on him, her teeth bared in a wicked smile.

"Get out of my way, you are not the one I want to fight," he ordered, crouching slightly, ready to fight her just as much as she was ready to fight him.

"None of us want a fight," especially Amelia as she was hyper aware of her condition, making sure that one arm was securely placed in front of her stomach so that she could ensure no attacks reached her baby, "but you're making one anyway."

"Your friend _killed_ my father."

"No. He didn't. And if you'd just stop for a second and listen-"

"Now, is not the time for listening," he'd tried to surprise her, launching his body over towards her but she immediately blocked his strike, a veil of white protecting her like armor as she threw herself at him. He was a much better fighter than she'd expected, countering most of her moves but she did manage to get a couple of hits in, as did he. There wasn't much damage that could be done to either of them whilst they were armored though, and Amelia was growing tired of her ineffective efforts being wasted. But that was exactly why she was fighting him, distracting T'Challa enough that he didn't notice Steve appearing behind him, wrapping his arms around his neck.

He flipped his way out of the hold, showing off his flexibility. Steve didn't give him much time to recover, lifting up his shield and aiming to ram the king but T'Challa had only needed that one second. The Black Panther jumped upward, kicking multiple times at the shield whilst in the air, knocking Steve backward, achieving exactly what the Captain had been trying to do. He released his claws and scratched harshly down the shield, leaving a permanent marking of his claws on the 'indestructible' metal.

Amelia began to pull the panther back with her powers, stopping his claws from actually reaching Steve. The sudden motion had T'Challa floored for a second and his arms waved about as they missed their target, making a perfect opening for Steve. Just as he was about to throw his shield and hopefully do sme damage to the perennial king, War Machine came flying down with an electrically charged mace, forcing the soldier to give up on his chance at attacking the king so he could save himself from Rhodey's attack. Amelia noticed the oncoming attack but she had her hands too full to do anything to stop Rhodey's attack. She also didn't know what to do with the floating cat she had shrouded in her powers, so the brilliant brunette did the first thing that came to her mind, throwing him in the opposite direction as far as she could. He wasn't going to be gone forever and she was pretty sure she'd just pissed him off more, but at least it gave her more time to protect Steve.

He seemed to be defending himself pretty well though as she watched him jump into the air and flip his body, bringing his legs down on Rhodey as he charged forward for another attack, Steve's feet crushing Rhodey's prized weapon.

"Hey, Cap, heads up!" Ant-Man approached from behind the two Avengers, holding up a small device to Steve as well as handing him what looked to be a toy truck, "throw it at this." He requested, and Amelia had to force herself to not make a comment on how her aim was just as good as Steve's. Scott launched the mysterious disk in the air towards Rhodey was starting to make his way towards them. "Now!" He yelled and Steve threw the truck, hitting the disk and before their very eyes they watched the toy truck grow huge (or to it's normal size) crashing on top of Rhodey and exploding out flames.

"Oh, man," Scott winced, "I thought it was a water truck. Uh… sorry."

"Okay, now I like you," Amelia laughed, eyes wide with disbelief at the explosion that had just happened. It was like something out of a movie. It was always those types of things that made Amelia fall in love with a person, it had been the same with Wanda, at first Amelia had possessed quite a distaste towards the witch but then Wanda had entered Ultron's battlefield, been a badass, sent out her powers and destroyed multiple robots and made Amelia's heart _sore_. She just loved seeing unexpected people be impressive and powerful.

"You didn't before?" Scott questioned as they started off on a sprint, the petrol tank enough of a distraction to give the trio enough room to start their journey towards the quinjet.

"No offense, but you kind of looked like you'd be easy to beat in a fight," she admitted, hoping the sentence wouldn't hurt his feelings too much.

He looked at her for a second before turning to concentrate on the path ahead, an expression of resigned acceptance on his face hidden behind his mask, "yeah, my girlfriend says the same thing,"

"Come on!" Steve called as they started to close in on the quinjet, Clint and Wanda joining their side first and then Bucky and Sam.

For a moment, it seemed like they were genuinely all going to make it to the jet.

It was as though the gods knew that Amelia Stark was beginning to actually be positive so they chose that time to be the moment where Vision arrived, shooting a laser from the mind stone and making them all slow to a halt. "Captain Rogers," Vision began to float downward, "I know you believe what you're doing is right, but for the collective good you must surrender now." As Vision reached the ground, he was joined by Team Iron Man. The Black Panther, Tony, Rhodey, Spider-Man, Nat, Vision, all standing in a line, all opposing them.

"What do we do, Cap?" Sam asked, panicked by the force staring back at them.

Steve looked over to his lover stood behind him, an unspoken conversation shared between them and then she nodded. He had her permission. "We fight."

* * *

 **A/N: Pretty sure I said in the last chapter that this is pretty tame... it is. It's totally tame to what I usually write, right?**

 _ **BIG ANNOUNCEMENT PLS READ ME THANKOO: So, we've had a nice week of me uploading every day again but now I've got to do the big move and there won't be internet for a bit. I'll try upload when I can but I can't promise because idk when I'm actually going to have internet. I'm also two chapters away from reaching the end of Part Four which means I'll be planning and writing for Part Five. As you know I like to be five chapters ahead so I may take a couple of days off anyway just to write, as well as take my time to plan the story and make sure it's good. Idk if taking time with my planning makes a difference but like I planned Civil War in three days, and I planned Age Of Ultron in a day, which do you think is better?**_

 **I apologise if there's a lot of spelling mistakes and wrong words in this chapter, I am running on zero sleep and need to go to bed very soon or else I'll be running on four hours whilst I'm trying to move house. (I'm a functional human being I swear).**

 **To LoveFiction2018, thank you so much!**

 **To Pitspee, they're _almost_ engaged actually. And honestly same, this is something I go through every time I see Chris' or Sebastian's face cause like it enrages me how much I love them but also I love them, y'know what I mean? And thank you, whilst I do love a good cliche, sometimes they can be quite annoying and that's one cliche I've always hated. Also 'niece-kisser' omg.**

 **To Sam0728, who knows? Maybe she'll throw an entire building at him and keep the ring lol**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, hope you've enjoyed the first part of the airport scene, personally I think things get A LOT MORE exciting in part two.**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, thank you! It's definitely a cliche I hate, especially because the men never seem to get the blame. Obviously Steve wormed his way out of getting too much blame in the last chapter, but he still got more than Sharon did.**

 **To BrittStar1199, when you right, you right ;)**

 **To AngelElmarlienHenning, the groveling will come later, trust me, I have huge plans for the groveling. That is definitely a good question but ya know I can't answer it, stop trying to tempt me to spoil!**

 **To rosequartz121, ahaha that is one hell of a switch from the last review, but I'm glad you enjoyed it and that you hate me a lil less now. BUT YES THANK YOU I LOVED HEARING THAT YOU LIKED EVERYTHING I WAS SO NERVOUS ABOUT THAT CHAPTER SO I'M GLAD YOU'VE ENJOYED IT!**

 **To Assbitch67, lololol prepare yourself for chapter 90 and onwards. For now just appreciate all the happy moments I'm giving you lol**

 **To LadyAmazon, SAME! But not really any of the new stuff, like Moana was great but Frozen just is not my thing at all. ALSO I'M SO SORRY! But aren't you glad you did click? They got almost engaged, look, I can write happy moments, it's not all just angst and sadness and despair! I swear!**

 **And a big thanks to everyone that read the chapter, hopefully I'll be able to sneak some internet and upload tomorrow. If not, then I guess I'll just see you when I see you ^^**


	92. Chapter Eighty-Eight

**CHAPTER EIGHTY-EIGHT**

* * *

"There is power in self-sacrifice."

― **Veronica Roth**

* * *

They were all running towards each other, Steve's team and Tony's team, charging into a fight. Inside of her mind, despite how she was also running, Amelia was willing for them to stop, for her opposers to stop charging forward and have a sudden, miraculous, realisation that fighting one another wasn't going to achieve anything, that what Amelia and Steve had said at the beginning was true, that it wasn't Bucky who'd placed the bomb and killed all those people but Nutsack.

The collision happened a few seconds later, as sensational and as destructive as two planets crashing into one another. Iron Man and Captain America were the first to start attacking, Tony launching a punch onto Steve which the soldier protected himself from with his shield. Natasha went to throw a punch towards Ant-Man but he shrunk just in time to avoid it, the redhead attacking air instead. Clint took out an arrow, aiming it towards Vision as Sam and Rhodey struck one another in the air. The Black Panther knew who his target was from the very moment the battle started and finally they met in combat for round two (the pair had already fought at the bunker when Nutsack had used the trigger words to wake up the Winter Soldier), T'Challa launched himself on top of Bucky and brought him to the ground. Wanda was quite easily taking care of Spider-Man, confusing the child by lifting him up off of the air but he countered the move by jumping over the force that was beginning to push him upwards, rolling his way closer to her so that he could start to do hand-to-hand combat.

Amelia did her best from behind the rest of her time, deflecting any repulsor beams shot their way and pushing Spider-Man away when he got too close to Wanda, knowing that the psychic's weakness was up close combat. Once Wanda had more room to herself she lifted up a vehicle with her red energy and threw it towards the kid, Spider-Man showing his impressive gymnastic skills (reminding Amelia of a certain soldier) by dodging the object whilst in the air, throwing his body and flipping it so the car simply skimmed his back but it wasn't going to be that easy as Wanda persisted with throwing any items that she could find.

Natasha finally managed to grab a hold of Scott before he could shrink himself down, throwing him to the ground and bringing a swift and painful punch down onto his stomach, winding him and immobilizing him for a second. The redhead stood up, finding her next target, her eyes immediately finding Amelia stood alone. The brunette's dark eyes joined in the staring competition, and for a second, they both remained completely still and silent.

That lack of movement was the only sign either of them needed. Neither of them wanted to fight each other.

"I think we already have an answer to this question, don't you?" Amelia asked, her tone hiding the question 'will you fight me?' beneath her words.

Natasha smirked, memories of their many training sessions blinking in her mind, and then she nodded. That one nod bringing Amelia more relief than she'd expected as it told her that she still had at least one friend on the side of the accords.

Knowing this, Amelia saw their shared moment of peace as her only option to talk to someone level-headed and try to explain their situation. "It wasn't Bucky, Nat, it was some other guy who set everything up. He was the one who set off the bomb. The one who brought back the Winter Soldier and made him kill all of those people."

"This fight isn't just about that though," Natasha reminded her friend, hating the look of desperation on Amelia's face because there was very little she could do to solve it.

"Not for you, but it is for us," Amelia responded, knowing that it wasn't the best thing to say, that it made it seem like their team had forgotten all about the accords that were extremely important to the other team. That wasn't true at all. The truth was that the accords were important, just not as important as clearing Bucky's name and stopping Nutsack from wreaking havoc on the entire world.

Natasha also wished she had better things to say, but there wasn't much else that could be said. There was a fight going on that both were obligated to take part in, and so their pleasant chat was over. But at least it had given Natasha something to think about. At least Natasha had finally heard their side of the story. Perhaps that would end up being enough. As the red head moved onto their next target, so did the brunette.

The first thing she saw was Bucky trying to escape the Black Panther's clawed attacks. If Amelia wasn't in fight mode she might have felt guilty for attacking T'Challa so much but he was the easiest for her to fight as he was the only person there that she didn't have a personal connection with. Only the connection that her powers kept making which she didn't really understand, it seemed to pulse stronger every time they were closer to one another but with no clue on how to explore it there was really no point in paying any attention to it.

T'Challa had Bucky pinned against a few boxes, his claws about to dig into the metal-armed giant's throat but Amelia put a swift stop to his move, throwing her white energy around his arm and stopping him from being able to move it any closer. "You're really starting to get annoying," he noted, standing up straighter so that he could face his new opponent as Bucky moved away from him, beginning to run off in hopes of getting to the quinjet in time. Amelia stayed, knowing that all of the panther's attention was on her now.

"Yeah, I get that a lot," she twisted her hands in a circular motion, forcing T'Challa's hand to go behind his back as she ran forward, kicking him in the stomach and sending him stepping backward. The hit didn't do as nearly as much damage as she'd wanted because of the strong armour he was wearing, meaning he responded to her attack with one of his own when she hadn't been expecting it. He leaped towards her the exact same way a predator would leap onto its prey, knocking her down hard onto the ground and automatically one of her hands went to her belly and her ears tuned onto the heartbeat, making sure that the baby was okay. It was beating a little faster but it was still beating and whilst in the midst of so much fighting that would have to do for Amelia.

T'Challa immediately pressed down on both of her arms, stopping her from being able to use her powers on him. She didn't need to do that to defeat him though, what she needed to do was distract him whilst she formed shards of pure starlight above him. "So you're a king, right?" She asked, slightly out of breath after being knocked down. He didn't reply, but she definitely had his attention. "I read in a newspaper the other day that I'm a queen too," he cocked his head to the side, curious to hear more of her story, clearly not thinking she was much of a threat whilst she was beneath him, "yeah, they called me the Queen of Hell." She stopped dancing her fingers and tightened her hand into a fist, the shards of light beginning to fall on top of him. They weren't powerful enough to break through his armour alone, but if enough dropped down on him in the same spot then they would have caused some serious damage.

He seemed to coin onto that, feeling a powerful burning sensation on his back where they hit, as though the essence of a sun was crashing down on him. T'Challa rolled his way off of her to avoid any more of them, though she still had quite a few formed, hovering, waiting like bullets in a gun to be used for deadly purposes. Amelia stood up as soon as the panther was off of her, taking a few steps so that she was away from him and once he began to charge for her again she was saved by Wanda Maximoff who forced him to fly and land inside a jet bridge.

Amelia sent her younger sister a nod of thanks before looking back over the battlefield, trying to find who could be her next target. She couldn't shoot at anyone not wearing armour, her shards would end up causing serious damage to them. That left two people, and one of them she couldn't find. It meant that Tony was her only available target, and though she did not want to fight him out of everyone there, he was attacking her soldier, and she'd told both herself and her team that she would protect them. So that was how she portrayed the attack on her brother in her mind, she was simply protecting Steve, not actually damaging her brother, an already damaged man.

The shards came from his left side, not going threw his suit but knocking him backward and bringing his attention to his sister that for most of the battle he hadn't been able to keep an eye on.

That was it. His only chance to capture her and give her the life she wanted. It was for her own good, that's how he portrayed it in his head, he was simply protecting her, not damaging his sister, an already damaged woman.

Tony abandoned his fight with Steve and flew towards her, sending out a rocket to stop her from running away from him and finding some way to escape.

"Don't make this difficult Amelia," Tony requested as he slowed to a halt, a few centimeters away from her up in the air. He raised one hand, repulsor beam glowing, ready to fire at her but they both knew that he never would.

"You're the one starting a fight," she snapped, too agitated with her brother's behavior by that point to bother trying to relay the truth to him anyway. He just wouldn't listen, too wrapped up in the situation he'd painted himself, ignorant that it was more a Jackson Pollock than anything actually discernible.

"I'm the one trying to keep this family together," he barked in return, "or have you forgotten about us now?" She scoffed, not feeling the need to even dignify that question with an answer. "You're going to come with us _now_."

"I don't think so," Amelia chuckled over his words, finding the idea rather insane, and not fully understanding why he was momentarily putting all his efforts in making just her stand down and go with him.

"No, you are," the billionaire responded simply, tone hard, making no room for an argument the exact same way his dad would give him orders, "I'm not asking, I'm telling you as your brother that you are going to stand down, give up on kissing Steve's ass, and come with me." He hated the way he was talking to her because it made him feel like his father, but Amelia wasn't really giving him any other options but to make demands instead of requests. "Then we're going to sort you out a deal with Ross which means you won't have to be imprisoned because I actually give a shit about what's best for you, not Steve."

"Steve is what's best for me." It finally made sense to her why he was focusing on her all of a sudden, why he was trying so hard with just her, and though avoiding another cage seemed like a very tempting idea she couldn't leave Steve. The ring burnt her finger, reminding her of his promise to her, of the life they were going to have, the life they needed to have for her child. Steve was the father of that baby and she was going to put all her effort into assuring that the child grew up with parents. Amelia knew what it was like to not have a mother and father, knew how lonely such a life was.

" _Bullshit!_ " Tony cursed at her, and even though he was wearing his Iron Man mask Amelia could easily feel the contempt burning through his gaze. "You're not an idiot Amelia, a lovesick fool maybe, but not an idiot, you know what the futures going to be like if you stay with Steve. It'll be a life constantly on the run, the Avenger's torn apart, the world left without protectors. And it'll all be because of you."

"And if we don't get to Siberia then a madman is going to wake up five other Winter Soldier's that will break down the world. That will be on you," if those really were her two choices then she felt just fine with picking the latter. Amelia had her own personal reasons to want to bring Nutsack down, he'd admitted to working with Rebecca and she suspected he did more than just work with her. When Amelia first met the psychiatrist the woman had been lovely, not a bad bone in her body but Nutsack did something to change that, warped her mind, transformed her into a killer.

"All I'm hearing right now is pointless arguments, what I want to hear is 'yes brother dearest, I realise you have a point, let me just stand down and accept your _help_ '," He sassed.

"That sounds like a you problem," Amelia replied. He wasn't going to hear the words that he wanted, so she was going to stop talking altogether. It was more important that she immobilize him, he had an aerial advantage that could prove troublesome for her team. That was what mattered most, protecting the team, protecting Steve.

"If you attack me right now then that's it, Amelia," he noticed the way she raised her hands slightly and moved her leg, assuming a fighting position, "I will use force on you."

"I'm not attacking you, I'm defending my friends," Amelia didn't know why she even bothered with making that specification to him, her brother wouldn't pay any mind to what she was saying.

"We're supposed to be more than friends, we're family," Tony didn't know why he bothered telling her that, maybe it was his last ditch effort to get her to finally listen to him despite how he'd said many times in various ways that she was on her last chance.

"If this is what family's supposed to be then I don't want it." With those words, she covered herself in a white veil, an armour of her own and it was a good thing she'd thought ahead to make the defense because as soon as Tony saw the bullet shards she was creating and aiming towards him, he began to fire. Mostly shooting at the forming shards, creating explosions in the air but a few shots were aimed at her as well.

It became harder for him to aim at her as the explosions became a cloud that covered where Amelia was, he was about to ask Friday for a little help with tracking the brunette but it turned out that he didn't need it. Amelia launched through the plume of smoke, hand raised and white pulsating around the fist, gifting her punch with more power. The hit sent him flying backwards but he recovered by pushing his rockets in the direction of where he was flying, using full force so that he could charge forward and as he returned to her he brought up his fist and threw it down onto her. She crossed her arms above her, blocking the hit.

The second his hand touched her wrist she threw all the power out of her bracelets, Amelia not fully aware of how much exactly had been stored but she'd definitely had no idea that it wasn't just her white powers being stored anymore. Black and white waves exploded from her at all angles, once again sending the billionaire away from her. Amelia had frozen in place, mouth agape, surprised by the black that had burst from her.

The darkness, it was always there, even when she couldn't feel it.

Tony was pausing as well, just as surprised by the appearance of her dark powers. They'd looked so different when placed next to the white energy. Thicker, more menacing, more like it would consume than enlighten. Exactly like the darkness he had witnessed in his vision. "What the hell was tha-" Suddenly his arm jolted upwards, sparks flying from his suit's elbow.

"Oh, you're gonna have to take this to the shop," Scott Lang quipped into the comms, making Amelia realise just what exactly was happening to her brother. A smile broke out onto her lips as she realised that Ant-Man had somehow gotten into Tony's suit. That was definitely one way of immobilizing her brother.

"Thanks, Scott," she whispered into the comms before running off, making her own escape, ensuring that her brother wouldn't possibly get her and take her away from her beloved soldier. It would take an entire army if he truly planned on doing so.

Amelia found her soldier quickly, finding him hidden behind a bunch of boxes with Bucky, both of them peering over the boxes to observe their enemies locations. "We've got to go," the metal-armed giant cried over to them, "that guy's probably in Siberia by now."

"He's right," Amelia agreed, looking over to Steve, hoping he had some sort of plan in mind on how they'd escape Tony's team.

Steve nodded, taking in their warnings whilst trying to come up with a quick plan, "we have to draw out the flyers and I'll take vision, you two get to the jet."

"No, it's more important that you and Bucky get there," Amelia argued, knowing the two of them would be way more equipped to take on the five Winter Soldiers. If she was there, Amelia was sure her anxieties would get in the way. She didn't want to leave them, but Amelia's priority was protecting them and ensuring that they got to Sokovia to stop Nutsack.

"She's right," Sam concurred, "you two get to the jet, the rest of us aren't getting out of here."

"As much as I hate to admit it, if we're gonna win this one, some of us might have to lose it," Clint advised, repeating what both Amelia and Sam had figured out.

"This isn't the real fight, Steve," Sam pushed, knowing that the soldier would have issues with abandoning his teammates.

Steve looked over to Amelia, eyes wide and mouth dropping open slightly, "I can't leave you." He knew what was waiting for her once she was captured, a cage and a pair of handcuffs. Steve was meant to protect his girlfriend, not leave her to return to a life of captivity and being controlled.

A bitter smile pressed on her face as she held up her hand, saying no words, simply bringing his attention to the ring on her finger. Not just a ring, but a promise of their life together. She wasn't going to break that promise, and neither was Steve. They'd find their way back to each other. They always did.

Everyone was right, Tony's team was too strong and would take far too long to defeat, crunching down on the time they had to get to Siberia and stop Nutsack. He'd have to leave them. He'd have to leave Amelia. Still keeping eye contact with Amelia, still conveying his despair over the decision he'd had to make, the soldier pressed down on the comm in his ear, "alright, Sam, what's the play?"

"We need a diversion, something big," he responded. It was the only way they'd be able to get both Steve and Bucky to the quinjet without someone going after them.

"I've got something big," piped up Scott, "but I can't hold it very long; On my signal, run like hell, and if I tear myself in half… don't come back for me."

"He's gonna tear himself in half?" Bucky questioned in befuddlement, that was certainly going to be one hell of a distraction but he wasn't sure if he wanted that. They'd asked Scott to be there and help them win the fight, not kill himself.

Steve concurred with Bucky's hesitation, "you're sure about this, Scott?"

"I do it all the time. I mean once… in a lab… then I passed out." Scott relayed to them, doing nothing to soothe their worries. Amelia just looked over to Steve in concern, waiting for him to tell the new recruit to not bother with whatever he was planning if it meant terminating his own life. It seemed they didn't have to wait all that long to see what the big surprise was though as all of a sudden they saw Scott, not as a tiny man, not even as a regular-sized man, but as a giant, reaching out and grabbing Rhodey whilst he flew in the sky.

"I guess that's the signal," Steve muttered, staring at the giant in both awe and confusion. He'd thought that there was nothing else that would shock him, he'd thought he'd seen everything, clearly not.

It took Amelia shoving on his shoulder to break him out of his astonishment, "go!" She yelled, waving to Bucky as well so that they'd both start to get moving. Bucky obeyed her, beginning to sprint towards the hanger whilst Steve remained for a moment longer, grabbing her arm, pulling her towards him, and trapping her in a passionate kiss.

They broke apart, "don't die," he told her.

"I won't if you don't," she replied, slightly breathless from the sudden lip lock. He gave a short smile, his eyes tracing her body, as though he was committing it to memory so that he wouldn't forget an inch of her during their time apart. And then he was gone, away from Amelia's arms, again. The brunette would be lying if she said that she didn't feel like her soul was being torn in two as she watched him run away from her.

But he'd come back, she reassured herself, he _would_ reunite with her again, because of the promise he'd made. Little did Amelia know, that the next time she saw him, would be the last time.

The brunette stood back, her eyes focusing on the battlefield ahead of her, knowing that she was the only thing standing between Tony's team and the fleeing soldiers. Protect them, that was her mission.

She sauntered into the battlefield, meeting an unexpected guest. The Black Panther, once again. He'd noticed their two retreating figures and was just about to make a run for them but Amelia had stepped in his way, a habit he was realising she was very persistent with. "Hello there," he greeted, not wishing to fight her again, he always ended up flying in the opposite direction when he did. "I can see now why they call you the Queen of Hell."

"Is it because I'm making your life very unpleasant?" She asked with a large smile filling her face, it didn't reach her eyes, he noticed.

"Indeed," he didn't know how he was going to get through her, if he moved for an attack she would simply pull him away.

"Yeah, well, I'm not alone." Her eyes signaled above him, making the panther look upward, being met with the unexpected sight of Scott Lang's foot coming down. The two immediately created more space between them so that neither of them would get squished by the limb.

"You wanna get to them, you gotta go through me," Scott quipped, his voice slow and deeper, reverberating in Amelia's ears. He began to sweep his gigantic foot towards T'Challa, forcing the panther to retreat further away from the appendage. The panther sensed another incoming attack from behind him. He was just quick enough to grab two arrows that were swiftly flying towards him. His sense of victory was short lived as the two arrows exploded in his face. He dropped them in panic, the smoke clearing in front of his eyes which soon connected with those belonging to the archer.

"We haven't met," Clint hollered in greeting, the two beginning a fight of their own whilst Amelia was distracted with helping Scott as Rhodey shot rockets towards him. She tried her best to take control of the rockets before they hit him, guiding them away, making them explode on the ground, creating a lot of damage that she was sure would require a lot of money to fix. That's what the accords were for though, she thought bitterly. Still, Amelia didn't want to be the root of more issues for the government so she spent more time trying to fly the rockets further away, throwing some upward so that they could meet in the sky and explode there.

For a moment she thought she'd done well but then she felt the earth shake as Ant-Man stumbled backwards, Vision having acted as a wrecking ball, slamming into the giant and forcing him down. She watched helplessly as Vision's eyes strayed to exactly where she'd hoped they wouldn't, the artificial intelligence spotting both Bucky and Steve closing in on the hanger.

"Wanda!" Amelia cried, able to predict what Vision would do next, there was only one way that he'd be able to stop them from reaching the hanger. "I'm going to need your help on this one."

There was no way of stopping Vision herself, any attacks would just go through him as he proceeded closer towards the control tower, stopping a good distance away from both Steve and Bucky so that they'd be helpless to stop his attack. Vision fired out a laser from the mind stone, hitting the control tower and making it collapse on the only doorway into the hanger.

Wanda wasn't sure that she'd heard Amelia correctly at first, her mind still stuck on Lagos and how her friend had pushed her out of the way to take care of the issue by herself. The opportunity for redemption was right in front of her, and she refused to pass it up. The fellow psychic rushed to stand by her side, accepting Amelia's offered hand.

They worked together. Two powerful psychics, their powers combining to hold up an entire building so their teammates could make it into the hanger. Unlike with the train, it wasn't just white and red dancing around one another. No, that time their powers became one unstoppable force. Creating the colour pink as it amalgamated together, the colour wrapping around every broken bit of stone and forcing it to continue to float upward. It hurt them both, the weight crushing down on their bodies, but together they were stronger, together they could endure that pain.

Steve and Bucky had almost made it, they could see them reach underneath the stones. They were going to do it. They were really going to do it.

But then a sonic disruptor was blasted behind the two girls, making them both scream, drop their hands, and hold their aching minds tightly. The mind was a powerful thing, especially for those two, so the pain was doubled. They fell to the floor, Rhodey not stopping the weapon until they were both down on the ground. Amelia tried to keep her eyes open, tried to see Steve make it into the tower but all she could see through her blurred vision was the thousands of rocks collapsing onto the ground, possibly onto her soldier.

Suddenly the ground rumbled once more and Amelia looked over to see Ant-Man down completely, their biggest and best support against Iron Man's team having fallen. Then she looked over to Wanda, the witch laid on the ground with tears in her eyes, wincing at the pain pulsing in her head.

The fighting, it was all so unnecessary. Even if Steve had made it to the hanger in time, was it really a victory for them? Any of them?

What had they done?

She was distracted though as a familiar sound was heard from the hanger, the sound of a jet taking flight. Amelia looked over to the hanger, seeing the quinjet rise and take off. Steve.

Steve and Bucky had survived, made it to the jet somehow, and were escaping. And she could join them. Amelia put every ounce of belief in herself for once. She needed Steve, her baby needed Steve, Steve needed her. She rose up messily onto her feet, focusing all her powers on making herself fly. She'd been practicing flying long distances, though normally she'd have used flying gear, _she could do it_. No, she couldn't. But Amelia needed to believe that she could.

For a second her eyes connected with Vision's as he floated down towards Wanda, the brunette half expecting him to stop her, but all of his attention was on the fallen witch. Amelia heard him apologise to her, and it was then she decided that Vision and Wanda would be fine, that it wasn't completely over for the two of them, that despite all the fighting maybe their flower would survive the storm. It gave her hope. Hope she sorely needed as she began to fly towards the jet, pushing herself harder than she ever had, racing towards it.

Amelia wasn't the only one chasing after the quinjet though. War Machine was in front of her, and at her side was Falcon, behind them was Tony slowly but surely catching up. Sam wasn't trying to join Steve like she was though, he was trying to protect the two soldiers, it was what she was supposed to be doing but she'd given herself a new task.

Be with Steve.

She had to be with Steve.

She didn't even notice as Falcon began to fire small explosives at War Machine, her entire concentration on the quinjet. Be with Steve, she needed to be with Steve. Amelia also didn't notice Vision's blast approaching her and Falcon, missing the pilot as he managed to dodge it, the blast continuing to fly forward anyway.

Amelia noticed when it hit Rhodey.

War Machine began to plummet downward, his suits flight systems clearly destroyed. The brunette afforded it a one-second look, her heart demanding that she go back to concentrating on the quinjet which held her beloved inside. She was so close, she could have really made it. Rhodey wasn't important, she barely knew him, he'd be fine.

But Rhodey was important, and she knew him pretty well, and he wasn't going to be fine.

Rhodey would often visit Tony, and more often than not Amelia would be hanging out with her brother during those visits. The two got along pretty well though their backgrounds couldn't have been further apart. He never judged her, that was the first thing she noticed about him. He immediately started joking with her (at her brother's expense, of course). There was one time where he invited her to come along to a weapon's expo for his suit, knowing that she was pretty knowledgeable on things like knives. She'd helped him decide on getting the electrocuted mace. He was her friend. Despite the accords, despite their fight, he was her friend.

And he was plummeting to his death.

For a few seconds, despite acknowledging all of that, she still kept flying forward. Choosing Steve. That was what she always did. Maybe if she hadn't looked back, then she would have continued to choose Steve.

But Amelia did it, she made the conscious decision to turn her head and look to see who was coming to his rescue. Both Sam and Tony were flying towards Rhodey, but they weren't going to make it in time. Rhodey was going to crash land on to the ground, and he was going to _die_.

So as much as she wanted to be with Steve, to be with the father of her baby, to be with the man who gave her a chance and made her feel like the sun was lit up inside of her soul, Amelia couldn't choose him then. Because the girl she'd become, the _woman_ that had learned to be human from both Tony and Steve, was cruelly unselfish.

Amelia closed her eyes, thinking of only blue eyes as she stopped flying and allowed herself to plummet down to the ground. The wind smacked the back of her head, all sound losing itself in the passing torrents of air. It wouldn't be the last time she saw him anyway, because he'd _promised_ , and that meant everything to Amelia.

Opening her eyes again, she turned around and directed herself so she would fall faster. She didn't have rockets so the brunette still wasn't as fast as Tony or Sam, but she didn't need to reach Rhodey to stop him from falling. She just needed to be close enough to stop him with her powers.

He was mere seconds away from the ground and despite both Iron Man and Falcon closing in on him, they were still too far away. One second away from hitting the ground and they both realised that there was no hope, they wouldn't reach him in time. Tony felt his heart collapse in on itself like a dying star. He couldn't save someone he cared greatly for, and it was going to destroy him, it was already destroying him.

But then, like an angel- no, a demon, had decided to intervene. Black wrapped around Rhodey and he stopped in the air, inches above the ground, frozen, encapsulated in dark flames. Tony didn't really understand what was happening and he didn't care, he landed a second later, as did Falcon. The billionaire refused to let his enemy, the man he blamed for Rhodey's potential life-ending fall, anywhere near his best friend. He shot out a rocket that hit Sam square in the chest, forcing him backwards and knocking the pilot out cold. Tony took off his mask, pulling off Rhodey's, revealing his friend unconscious. "Read vitals," he ordered Friday.

"No major damage sustained," she reported back to him.

He was fine. Rhodey was fine.

His unconscious body floated gently down to the ground, on top of Tony's lap, and from the corner of his eyes, he saw someone else land gracefully onto the ground. Amelia, she'd saved his best friend, her enemy. And not only that, but she'd saved him using her dark powers, something Tony had perceived as a force meant only for destroying. "Thank you," he expressed his gratitude breathlessly, on the verge of tears.

But Amelia wasn't even looking at her brother, as her eyes were focused on the empty sky she raised up her hands and offered them to Tony.

"What are you doing?"

"Waiting for you to handcuff me," she explained, all effort drained from her as a tear slipped down her freckled cheek, her mind riddled with the darkest of thoughts, picturing everything that she'd just lost.

* * *

 **A/N: Hello, extremely early update but I'm trying to get a chapter out before I lose internet. BUT IM HELLA INTERESTED TO HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS CHAPTER BECAUSE SO MUCH HAPPENED.**

 **Also, I'm really hoping I can give you the next chapter tomorrow because there's a surprise in it that might get you guys pumped a lil ;)**

 **To LoveFiction2018, glad to hear it ^^**

 **To BrittStar1199, agreeeeed but the heart wants what the heart wants, my arse knows that that one chocolate bar isn't going to help my diet, but I still want it lolol. And also, yes, this is something I want everyone to concentrate on, despite her _child_ Amelia is still choosing to battle, that's not being a very good mother now is it? **

**To AngelElmarlienHenning, thank you! The move is going okay, got like two bits left from the other house and then we're sorted. I hope this update was a good one and worth the wait :)**

 **To Pitspee, Evangeline Lilly is straight up one of my wives (I have many wives and many husbands judge me all you like) I love her so much. I really want to watch Ant-Man & The Wasp but I've had to download a crappy version off the interweb (don't tell on me please) and I'm not sure if I want to watch it when it's so blurry and grainy. Ah, poor people problems. And that sounds like a very nice idea, why Ireland though? And her suit gets described in the next chapter cause she may or may not get an upgrade.**

 **To Sam0728, gracias!**

 **To LadyAmazon, hope you enjoyed this chapter as well ^^ HELL YEAH, Mulan and Hunchback are my number ones but I also fuck with the rest of the disneys. Moving went alright, I got way more done than I thought I would and even managed to build a bed which was like a spur in the moment decision but boy am I glad I did lol**

 **To rosequartz121, oh trust me I write this story and I hate myself for all the emotional trauma I cause my readers lol. I hope you enjoyed this one, it was very busy but I'm happy with the way it turned out.**

 **To Assbitch67, I think Wolverine should be the first to find out about her baby. Also, I'm glad you're picking up on the fact that Amelia's being a bad mum, I don't want people to gloss over that HUGE flaw in her character. And lol why are you looking forward to Amelia's heart getting snapped into a thousand-million pieces? How cruel of you! Poor Amelia! It isn't just the world against her, but also the readers lol.**

 **And a big thank you to everyone that read the chapter, look forward to the next one and the surprise I've got in store ;)**


	93. Chapter Eighty-Nine

**CHAPTER EIGHTY-NINE**

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"The past beats inside me like a second heart."

― **John Banville**

* * *

Night shrouded the sky, bringing with it a peacefulness as well as a sense of foreboding. Tomorrow was coming, and Steve Rogers, along with his friend Bucky Barnes, had no idea what that day would entail. The darkness that covered them reminded Steve of Amelia, of her eyes, that were as large and as deep as space itself, brimming with little lights, with stars, with constellations, with suns and moons and galactic life. The constant reminder was making the soldier miss his lover dearly, so much that even Bucky could sense it, the quinjet filled with a somber tension.

It wasn't just Amelia that they'd lost that day though. No, Sam Wilson, Clint Barton, Scott Lang and Wanda Maximoff had also given themselves up in order to give the two soldier's a fighting chance at escaping. If they'd stayed and wasted their efforts on trying to defeat Tony's team then Bucky and Steve would have never gotten out of there in time, and that's even if they did somehow manage to get out of there.

"What's going to happen to your friends? To Amelia?" Bucky asked, breaking the silence as his concerns could not be held back anymore. A part of him didn't even want to bring them up, worried that Steve's departion from Amelia would have critical effects on the soldier, then the metal-armed giant realised that Steve had and always would be a strong man, as was Amelia a strong woman. They'd endure.

"Whatever it is, I'll deal with it," he swore, voice quiet and masked by a calmness the night sky had gifted him with. He always felt calmer in the later hours, a trait Steve was sure he would have gotten from Amelia, either because she made him calm and she was the night, or because Amelia became a much more peaceful person once the moon was up and that had started to reflect in Steve's own personality after spending so much time with the brunette.

The silence returned, an old and new friend to both Steve and Bucky. They idled in it, eyes fixed on the path ahead, thoughts on where their journey would lead them. There wasn't a light at the end of the tunnel for the both of them, that much was clear. No matter what they did, the world would always see them as enemies because of their previous actions. It made Bucky realise something, and despite not being the kind of man who would ever just sit and talk about his emotions (a year ago he wasn't even the type of man to talk), he looked over to his friend, feeling culpability wash over him. "I don't know if I'm worth all of this, Steve," he mumbled, feeling like it was his fault that everyone was now captured. Nutsack wouldn't have known about Siberia if it wasn't for him, if it wasn't for those ten trigger words ingrained in his mind that woke up the Winter Soldier.

"What you did all those years, it's wasn't you, Buck, you didn't have a choice." His hands tightened around the wheel of the quinjet, a spark of anger imploding as Steve reminded himself of how much harm Hydra had done to those in his life. To his lover, to his best friend, to him.

"I know," Bucky replied with a sigh, eyes falling downwards. Bile rose up his throat but he swallowed it down, also swallowing down every sinister memory of every dark deed he ever committed rose up like a ferocious wave, looming and promising destruction. "But I did it." It had been his hands that pulled the trigger, that strangled the victims, that inserted the knives. _His_ hands.

"So did Amelia," Steve shrugged, hoping that by using someone Bucky obviously greatly cared for (even though he didn't entirely understand why in that moment), "do you think that makes her any less of a person?" The question was rhetorical because the answer was so obvious. No, it made her more of a person if anything.

"No, Amelia, she's great," Bucky smiles and it was the first time either of them had managed to show any emotion since getting into the quintet, "a fighter… I'm really glad you found her Steve." He'd said it so many times before that he was starting to sound like a broken record, but he really wanted his best friend to treasure what he had. The metal-armed giant didn't know why, but witnessing Steve and Amelia together made him hyper aware of a hole he had in his own life, like a part of him was missing.

"She found me actually, twice," he explained, remembering how the first time they met was because AS09 had caused a scene close to where he lived, one could say it happened because of Hydra, because they wanted her to distract him whilst they worked on world domination, but he liked to think it was fate. Then, of course, Bucky had stolen her away from him and for a short while Steve had actually thought she was dead, but then Amelia found him again. They always found each other again. Thinking about those times had Steve overflowing belief. Just because they weren't together then didn't mean that they never would be again, _because they always found their way back to each other_. "And I've got to say, I'm glad she did. I don't know what it is about her, but she kind of completes my life," his voice had taken up a more chipper tone, his fondness for Amelia taking over the serious suspense gripping them.

"I think she's perfect for you too, she can keep up with you at least," his earliest memories of Steve was running after the pre-serum boy as he got himself in all sorts of trouble, and it didn't look like the Steve he saw in front of him was any different. What Steve had always needed was a girl as equally as powerful, not to chase after him, but to stand her ground in the face of his ruckus ways. There was nothing Bucky could see that would get in the way of the two of them. Nothing, except for himself. "But, she doesn't know that it was me that kidna-"

"No, she doesn't. I couldn't find the right time to tell her." The subject of Amelia's past and her lack of knowledge on it had somehow become a taboo subject, something he'd never discuss with anyone else out of fear that she'd hear him and find out that he knew the truth. It couldn't stay that way forever though, Steve knew it was more important than ever that he tell her the truth because of that promise he'd made to her. "After all this though, before I marry her, I'll tell her. And only I can tell her. It's a dark subject for her, one that needs approaching with careful hands."

"I know she's not coping too well with things, that's what we spoke about in the woods," he mused quietly, not noticing the way that Steve's eyebrow twitched at the mention of Bucky's alone time with _his_ girlfriend, "it's like she's standing on the edge of a cliff, I think. She doesn't know whether to jump or not." Jumping down the cliff wouldn't necessarily lead to death, no, it would lead to change, and Bucky believed that _that_ scared Amelia much more than death.

"What do you mean?" Steve's eyes drew together, though he did have somewhat of an idea.

"I don't know really, it's just some things she said to me… I think what she really needs is a break." That was the easiest thing for him to read from her words, that things were becoming too much.

"I don't think she can get that if she's with me," Steve admitted, knowing that if he was going to have the conversation with anyone that Bucky was the best person for it. Their close relationship made it much easier for Steve to admit things.

"Yeah, well, I think you need a break too." Bucky had gathered from his museum visit that Steve had woken up from being frozen into ice and only waited a short year before, maybe less, before jumping back into action, never stopping from there. The soldier had gone from one war to another, constantly searching out fights to take part in. Bucky had kind of hoped after learning his best friend was with Amelia that Steve might have slowed down, taken some time for himself, but from what he'd learned, neither the soldier not the psychic had been given such opportunities, nor had they searched them out.

"Maybe you're right," Steve responded, knowing that after the accords he'd definitely want some time to relax. But he'd also wanted that after Ultron, and Rebecca, the problem was that he could never truly bring himself to stop. He'd tell himself he would eventually, waiting until the next thing happened, going on a mission that he'd deemed more important than his own well-being, and therefore, Amelia's well-being. But that was all before he promised Amelia that he'd give her a peaceful life, before he'd promised the light of his life that he would put her first. "I've got to admit, it doesn't sound like too bad a life. Just me and Amelia on a farm somewhere quiet and peaceful."

Could it really be all that simple though? What most people seemed to dismiss was the fact that Steve had been fighting his whole life, just as much as Amelia had. The soldier didn't know how to stop.

"You know, I always imagined you with a white picket fence," Bucky reflected and Steve let out a laugh at that thought, it was something that had never been on his mind but a lot of people perceived him to have it. Perhaps it was because a white picket fence and apple pies were usually what people thought of when they thought of America, and he was Captain America. But no, his dreams had always been about justice, until he met Amelia.

"Yeah?" His laugh quieted as they both delved down memory lane, something they'd had yet to do since reuniting but it was definitely something Steve was most looking forward to doing. "I always imagined you with Addy, up in a tree somewhere."

"Addy?" The name sounded surprisingly right on his tongue, and it filled Bucky with all sorts of concerns because he had no idea why a simple name felt so natural falling from his lips.

"Adelaine, you don't… you don't remember her…" Steve seemed suddenly nervous, eyes darting back over to Bucky, the soldier clearly worried that he might have triggered some sort of reaction but the metal-armed giant remained neutral with his expression.

"No," he mumbled, voice airy as he left that conversation entirely, concentrating on a sudden solid image that filled his eyes the same way green filled a forest in the summer. It was a girl, her skin as pale as the moon with strawberry blonde hair that curled madly as a messy frame for her square face, reaching just under her ears. Her eyelashes were like dove wings, pale and long and they flapped closed as the woman in his vision released a boisterous laugh, tears immediately pricking her eyes as she started to snort repeatedly. Adelaine… he knew her, not entirely, his memory around the woman so foggy and his head aching the harder he tried to remember her. She was a friend, he thought, an old friend of Steve and Bucky's but that was all he was able to remember about her. For some inexplicable reason, tears appeared in his eyes, not gleeful ones but despairing tears. "Kind of…" he corrected himself, "what happened to her?"

"Uh, nobody really knows," Steve summarised, continuing to look over to the metal-armed giant, noticing the way his friend was looking down at the quinjets floor with a despondent expression. "Sorry, I shouldn't have brought her up."

"Don't worry, it's fine," no, it wasn't. Who the hell was Adelaine?

* * *

"You going to talk yet, Princess?" One of Ross' beloved soldier's was leaning over the plain metal table that Amelia was chained to, thick white handcuffs wrapped around her wrist, preventing her from using her powers. They should have learned by then though, that Amelia Stark didn't need her powers to kick ass.

"Sure. I'll talk. Let me just begin with saying that that black eye _really_ works on you," she sassed, eyes empty but a knife-pointed smirk playfully perched on her lips, the only armor she had in that room, "how about you let me give you another?"

The soldier laughed mercilessly, beginning to round the table so he could get closer to her, so he could lean over her and try to seem threatening. She'd been dragged into that room under the pretense that they'd be talking, trying to get information from her about Steve Roger's location as out of everybody they captured, they assumed she was the one who'd be most in the know. He stopped a few centimeters away from them, standing there for a few seconds before suddenly reaching out with his fist, pretending that he was going to punch her, trying to make her flinch. Clearly he was messing with the wrong person. The man just wanted to feel powerful, and he thought that by defeating a monster as big as Amelia Stark that he'd attain such a feeling, but he was a mere naive human facing a _goddess_.

He was frowning down at her when the sealed door to Amelia's left slid open, a man walking inside, but definitely not a man Amelia would describe as a savior. "What the hell is going on here?" Tony questioned furiously, immediately noticing the raised fist first and his sister's tattered appearance second. Her lip was bust and a bruise was forming on her cheekbone, a trail of blood oozing where the skin had split on her face. Her knuckles were bruised as well, but the billionaire suspected that wasn't something she'd achieved from another persons attack, but rather a self-inflicted wound. That would also explain why the soldier closest to her looked just as beaten up as she did.

Amelia's entire body clenched and her smirk instantly turned bitter, crinkling together as her eyes turned sharp. "Oh, look, everybody, my _savior_ is here," she hoorahed cattishly, "the guy who's going to rescue me and give me the life I always wanted, or, no, it's the life _he_ thinks I need." The brunette moved to offer him her confined hands but the chain attaching her to the metal table stopped her, still she proceeded with her aggrieved remarks. "Go on Tony, take me away, seclude me in a cage built like a house."

"It's not as simple as that Miss Stark," Ross intervened, stepping into the room and not even blinking an eye at her unkempt state, nor that of his soldier's, "you have two options: you either stay here and pay for your crimes, or you can take Tony's deal."

Amelia absorbed the information she was just given, realising that what Ross had given her was meant to be a choice. A cage or a cage, those were options. It was baffling to her how the two men believed they were doing any good, so instead of responding with words, she spat down at Ross' feet, wishing that she could have done more which is exactly why Ross had chosen to handcuff her legs and hands as well as bound her to a chair.

Tony didn't give any reaction away to her behavior, not caring at all that she'd turned her nose up at his offer for a peaceful home. His mind was busy with other thoughts. Thoughts on a certain Baron Zemo. The billionaire turned to Ross. "Can we have a moment alone, please?"

To Amelia's wonderment, the Secretary allowed Tony his wish, not even arguing that soldiers should be in the room to ensure there was no foul play. It almost seemed like he was trusting the billionaire for a second, but then she felt the burning of a surveillance camera on her back and realised that it didn't matter if he was in the room or not, he'd still hear and see everything that happened.

Tony waited until Ross and his merry men were out of the room and the door was closed before speedily approaching the side of the table, not caring whether Amelia tried to reach out or attack him or not. He couldn't sit down, he felt far too fidgety to immobilize himself. "What did they do to you?" Her brother sounded concerned, she didn't care.

"No, Tony, what did _you_ do to me?" Amelia rebutted, voice like an ice storm that was trying to spread its sharp frost onto him. "And Clint, Sam, Scott, Wanda. Clint has a fucking family, he has kids. And Wanda, she _is_ a kid. You act as though 'family' is something you deem important but clearly that's just another lie." There were so many words she'd wanted to say to him, so many curses as well as so many apologies, it was hard to decipher between all the imaginary conversations she'd had with him just which lines to use. "Just leave, Tony." The dark-haired brunette turned her head away from him, refusing to look at the man she labeled 'betrayer' any longer.

"What you were saying at the airport, about the doctor," Tony persisted, "tell me it again."

She didn't want to respond, but she perceived his question as Tony trying to do Ross a favor and get information on Steve's whereabouts from her, using the information he'd initially ignored to accomplish that task. It made her angry. Hell, everything was making her angry. She'd had to give up on Steve because of a mistake made by Tony's team, she'd had to give herself up to Ross, up to a narcissistic soldier that had tried to harm her, and by doing so, harming her child as well. "Do you think I'm an idiot, Tony?" Amelia hissed, eyes flying back over to his, making the offense she'd taken very clear.

The billionaire exhaled a short puff of air, wishing that for once Amelia might consider making things easy for him. He began to play around with his high-tech watch, looking quite obnoxious as he did so, making Amelia feel that he'd started to ignore her all together just because she wasn't giving him what he'd wanted. "I think," he spoke once more, "I just knocked the 'A' out of their 'AV'. Which means we've got about thirty seconds for you to tell me everything because this guy," on his watch he pulled up a picture of a dead man in a bathtub, "is the person that was supposed to do the psycho-analysis on you and Barnes but he never made it there, so tell me who did." He didn't beat around the bushes, didn't bother apologizing, didn't bother begging for her forgiveness or arguing that he shouldn't have to in the first place. They both understood the gravity of the situation. "I'm listening," he added as an afterthought, and those two words were extremely important to Amelia as that was all she'd been asking him to do.

Swallowing, she decided then to trust him, because he was her brother. "We don't know his name, I just call him Nutsack."

"This guy?" He slid a finger across his watch, changing the image over to the man Amelia had interacted. That was her Nutsack alright.

"He's the one that planted the bomb at the UN because he wanted to get the whole world looking for Bucky," she became excited at the picture evidence Tony had, wiggling her finger towards the photo of Nutsack as a soldier with a gun in his hand. She _knew_ he hadn't been a psychiatrist.

"He's called Baron Zemo," Tony shoved his sleeve over the watch, making sure that there were no possible way cameras would see the device he'd brought in to Amelia's prison, "Why would he do all that though?"

"So he could get information about a Hydra base in Siberia," she tried to relay all the important points, hoping they would build a good enough case in Tony's head to make him go and help her soldier, "it's where five other Winter Soldier's are, just as strong and as deadly as Bucky _was_ ," she made sure to stress that word as it was something she didn't want Tony overlooking just because Nutsack (Amelia didn't care what his name was, he'd always be Nutsack to her) had taken centre stage, "with the potential to bring down the entire planet in under a day because that's exactly what they're trained to do."

"And it's just Steve and Bucky fighting all those guys off?" Tony asked, beginning to shake his head but he stopped himself as he realised that it was his fault they'd had to go alone.

"Well, you didn't really give us many options," Amelia said, repeating Tony's own thoughts.

"I'm sorry," his shoulder's deflated as he began to finally see the full picture. Really, he was never going to give Amelia the proper apology that she wanted, certainly not for trying to give her a happier, safer, home, but he could at least give her one for not giving her a chance to explain herself, or Steve. "I clearly made a mistake, I was wrong, I'm a bad brother."

"All true," she nodded, not feeling up to denying his self-reflections like she normally would. Of course she didn't really think he was a bad brother.

"But Steve is definitely off the reservation and he's going to need all the help he can get, and you're the only one I can get out of this prison today," he bent over the table, putting one hand down onto it as his other was in a restraining sling, "please Amelia, I know I've made some mistakes, and on some of them I'm not entirely convinced that I was wrong," her eyebrows rose but he gave her a pointed look, saying with just his eyes that it was an argument they could have later, "but Steve Rogers, despite all his flaws, is still family to me."

"Why are you willing to help now?" She questioned slowly, unwilling to simply say yes despite how her heart was skipping away inside of her, so enticed by the possibility of everyone becoming friends again, _becoming family_.

"Maybe I feel guilty, maybe I feel like I owe you because you saved Rhodey - who's fine by the way, he'll be out of the hospital tonight - or maybe it's because I just can't seem to quit caring about your happiness," he admitted the last one begrudgingly, but it was even more difficult for him to say the following: "and I know you'll only be happy if Steve's safe."

"Okay." The answer was so simple, though what it led to was monumental.

"Okay?" He seemed baffled by her sudden agreement, but that didn't at all mean he was upset by it, in fact, an uncontrollable smile starting to beam on his face and Tony didn't really mind it being there.

"Yeah, okay, I'll come with you," she elucidated for her brother, trying to keep her own smile at bay. Amelia refused to let herself be completely happy until she was with Steve again.

"We need to convince Ross that you've taken up this offer, so act sad," he pointed his finger at her as he began to exit the room, on a mission to find a guard that would uncuff Amelia and allow them to make a fast escape before Ross could reach them and use any means to stop them from leaving.

He'd thought they were actually going to make it as they speedily walked towards his helicopter. "Stark! You can't just take her out of the base, we made a deal," of course Ross had to make an entrance as soon as they began to feel hope, being ever the killjoy.

Amelia went to stop and turn around but Tony kept pushing her towards the helicopter, making sure that she got in first and was seated before he turned around in the entrance of the helicopter to have a discussion with Ross. The man had a very grumpy expression on his face, and a blue folder in his hand but Tony paid no mind to that. "And I kept my half, you got to talk to her first, and it looks like you broke the deal by doing a little bit more than that," he replied, a false smile playing on his lips that didn't match the angered tone in his voice.

"Tony, stop playing games, did she give you any information on Captain Rogers?" Ross felt as though he had every right to break their deal seen as Tony never actually delivered Bucky or Steve to him like the billionaire had promised to do.

"Nope, the moment I mentioned him she started weeping, poor girl has had her heart broken after he ran off with his best friend," both men looked over to the woman in the helicopter who had placed her head in her hands, pretending to cry. "Anyway, I'm going to take Amelia to her cottage, you can call me if you want. I will put you on hold though, I like the way the line blinks." He rushed into the helicopter and shut the door right on Ross' face, something Amelia high-fived him for.

"Tony wait, there's something you need to know about your sister!" But it was of no use, the door to the helicopter was closed and the vehicle was already taking flight. Ross' hand tightened on Amelia Stark's medical report.

"Ran away with the best friend?" She grunted, one eyebrow raised at the suggestion in Tony's statement.

"Who knows what we'll see when we get there," he joked, shrugging his shoulders and beginning to pull off the sling the doctor had put on him despite how much Tony had argued against it, "haven't you noticed that Bucky and Steve seem a bit _too_ loyal to one another?"

"Shut up, Tony," despite herself, she laughed at the proposal, an assortment of jokes coming to her mind that she couldn't wait to use on her beloved soldier and his friend.

"Here, I brought your new suit." From the floor of the helicopter, he picked up a black briefcase that was modern in its design with a button on the top that looked to have a fingerprint scanner on it, ensuring that only she would be able to get into it. She looked from the briefcase over to Tony and he just nodded supportively towards her. Amelia had asked him for the new suit ages ago, before all the mess with the accords happened. After the accords, she never actually expected to get it. Nervously, she placed her fingerprint on the button and it unlocked instantly, opening up to reveal a folded catsuit that was mostly black with blue and red stripes across the chest, arms, and legs. The bracelets were attached to the sleeves of the suit but they didn't stop there, lines connected to the bracelets passing all the way around the suit. "I added the red like you asked, you trying to aim for a more Captain America look there?" Whilst Cap's suit was red, white and blue, hers was red, black and blue. Tony had hated the design idea at first, feeling like he was creating a high tech version of a 'his' and 'her' suit but he was a good big brother and in the end had done what she'd asked.

Amelia brushed her hand against the thick fabric, it felt similar to leather but stronger, clearly bulletproof. "No. The blue reminds me of Steve. I asked the red to be put there so I could be reminded of you, actually," Amelia couldn't look Tony in the eyes as she admitted that, their earlier feud still hovering over her.

It had made the most sense to her. When she was on a mission or in the middle of a battle, she would always think about what Steve or Tony would do and she'd use that to not only keep her calm but also keep her _good_. She liked having her suit the colors of Tony and Steve because that way they would always be at the back of her mind, keeping her human.

"Oh," Tony didn't have a response either, it was Tony's first proper sign that she really did care for him, not in the same way as she cared for Steve, but maybe that hadn't meant she cared for him less like he'd perceived. He cleared his throat, not really feeling up for a heart to heart in that moment. He pointed over to something that was attached to the lid of the briefcase, bringing Amelia's attention to it. " _So_ I also added this, you press the button on the side and it'll turn into a mask which will help you with long-range flights. I've also outlined the suit with the same material I used for your bracelet so now your entire suit will store the power and it should be easier for you to direct it all."

"This is one hell of an upgrade," Amelia let out a low whistle, pulling it from the briefcase so that she could get a better look at the entire thing. "Will… will it be able to store my black powers?" Tony was the first one she'd admitted to about her black powers still tormenting her.

"No, I don't know enough about them," he admitted, noticing the way Amelia had seemed crestfallen. She didn't even want to use her powers like that, she simply wanted them _gone_. "You can use them though, right?" Amelia slowly nodded her head, all her fears reawakening. She was a burden. A threat. No one would love her. "Then we'll fix it, once we're back home we'll go to the lab and try to figure it out, together," Tony had surprised her then, showing no signs of distaste towards her powers, not pulling out a pitchfork and torch. And he'd also said 'home', which to her was the facility. Did that mean he wasn't going to try and send her away from Steve anymore?

Things really were starting to look up.

"Alright, turn around so I can get changed," she requested and he did so. She slipped into the suit the same way she would get into her skinny jeans, with a lot of difficulty, a lot of jumping, a lot of contorting her body into a funny shape, but eventually. it managed to slip on perfectly. "Let's get going then," she said to her brother, as she slipped the last part of her suit on. It was a lot like a crown from her perspective, the black metal wrapping around the entirety of her head and completely her outfit. She truly did feel badass, like the Queen of Hell. And oh boy, was she about to raise some fire on that Nutsack.

He got comfortable in his seat once more, gesturing to the other one. "Sit down in the seat, and press this button here," he pointed down at a small button in the middle of their seats. There were two, one for him, one for her. She didn't immediately press it, simply watched Tony as he did first. His seat began to move backwards and pieces of his suit surrounded his body, becoming Iron Man, and then he shot out of the helicopter altogether.

Realising what was about to happen, she took in a deep breath, knowing that this would be her first real long distance flight and it scared her a little. Not wanting to allow her fears to consume her completely, she didn't waste any more time, pressing the button that then dropped her from the helicopter as well.

She tumbled for only a second before she concentrated her power which was a lot easier for her to do when she had the strips all across her body. Amelia knew exactly where to put all of the white energy so that she could keep herself floating upwards and moving forwards. If she wanted to move faster, all she'd have to do was force more power onto the strips near her feet. Beside her, Tony in his Iron Man suit floated closer, and he began to point to his helmet, signaling to Amelia to do what he'd said earlier and press on the button on her headpiece. The rain and black storm clouds made it a little difficult to see, but she got the jist pretty quickly.

It wasn't a huge, noticeable button, just a part of the suit that needed a gentle nudge and then the crown began to spread all around her head. For a moment, the mask made everything dark, but then a light flickered on and a screen burst with details in front of her. She wasn't quite sure what everything was. There were arrows flashing forward, she guessed that they were telling her what direction to fly in, and there were other numbers and images that she'd have to investigate further.

"How is it?" Tony's voice could clearly be heard inside the mask, an in-built communicator also coming with the new technology.

"This is amazing Tony!" She yelled, not realising how much her scream had made him wince. Tony didn't complain, he was just happy to see her happy. He was happy to have his sister back.

What both of them failed to notice though was the black quinjet hidden beneath clouds following them, the King of Wakanda at the helm.

* * *

 **A/N: Hello! What a great chapter this was, we had Tony and Amelia bonding and apologising, we got too see Amelia's new suit... some pretty exciting stuff...**

 **OH AND NOT TO MENTION THE REVEAL OF ADELAINE! But, as Bucky said, who the hell is Addy? Well, she's the OC in my Bucky fic that will be published once I finish Infinity War. That isn't to say you won't get to meet her in this story first as I've decided to try and create my own MCU-Universe (yes, I'm going with that) and the Bucky fic - WHICH I CAN ALSO REVEAL IS CALLED 'BONES BECOMING FLOWERS' - will include Infinity War plot as well ^^ So tell me what you think! Excited? Nervous? Displeased? Confused?**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, I feel like that is both a good and a bad thing lol**

 **To LoveFiction2018, happy to hear**

 **To xLaBellaVita, oh hello! I loved reading your reactions lol, hopefully the rest of the chapters you read are just as good ^^**

 **To Sam0728, looks like this chapter answered that question. It's so weird how long I've been writing this, over a hundred days and we've all just been like 'OMG CIVIL WAR WHEN SHE FINDS OUT OMG', it feels strange to actually be here now.**

 **To Pitspee, ohhhhhhhhhhh right, that makes sense. I thought you meant without Steve though, so Ireland seemed like a strange place to go, even more because it'll make her think of him. Interesting ideas again,but I can't confirm anything. And yus, Red and Brown have a pretty strong friendship because it formed from a mutual hatred, it made sense at least to me that those two wouldn't bother fighting each other.**

 **To BrittStar1199, allllllll trrrruuuuueeeeeeeeeeeee. I might just insert you as a character so you can make Amelia realise how much of a dick she's being lol**

 **To Assbitch67, oh man I sure hope none of those soldiers punched her in the stomach when they were beating her up. Tony almost found out she was pregnant though, that's what Ross had in his file. Mate, you should be excited to see what happens after she gets her heart broken, it's great.**

 **To AngelElmarlienHenning, you don't need to thank me for updating, thank you for reading and reviewing!**

 **To rosequartz121, glad you had a nice morning, honestly it's been so long since I had that but I remember the feeling of waking up and being like 'YES MY UPDATE' so I'm glad I could bring you that happiness ^^ OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH was your theory right?**

 **To Guest, I GENUINELY WRITE THE ACTION SCENES WHILST CRYING THEY ARE MY KRYPTONITE. I literally sat for thirty minutes deconstructing one second of a fight scene, trying to make sure all the details are correct I hate it. But then I need the guide because on my own I'm useless with fighting scenes, normally I'll youtube some boxing or martial arts matches and pick out little bits I can use. PLEASE DON'T CRY BUT ALSO I CAN'T TELL YOU THAT YOU'RE NOT GOING TO CRY BECAUSE I'VE BEEN CRYING TOOOO**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, I hope saving Rhodey won't be considered too big of a change to the plot!**

 **To LadyAmazon, I don't believe that you're not psychic ¬¬ AND OMG I RELATE SO MUCH TO THAT LAST LINE YOU HAVE NO IDEA**

 **And a big thank you to everyone who read the chapter, we're nearing the end now and I'm absolutely terrified, anyone else?**


	94. Chapter Ninety

**CHAPTER NINETY**

* * *

"Enemies can't break your spirit, only friends can."

― **Arundhati Roy**

* * *

Amelia and Tony hovered down to the ground out of Hydra's Siberian base. Snow cascaded and covered their vision but luckily the two had masks on which allowed them to see a display of their surroundings. To their left was the quinjet, to their right a tank which they guessed Zemo had used to get there, and in front of them was a tiny bunker which would lead into the mountain, into the base.

It was a place AS09 had spent quite a lot of her time, though Amelia's memories of the place weren't all that clear as the Siberian hideout was her home as a child before they moved her over to America once she was a fully fledged Assassin. Her home in Washington made her, whilst Siberia was the place that _broke_ her. Many of her fights with the Winter Soldier took place inside the base in front of her, so it felt strange knowing she would be back there with the same man. Except they weren't the same people as those that fought back then, they were older, wiser, their cracks filled with gold and their withering flesh repainted into a masterpiece. They weren't the victims of the Siberian prison anymore.

Tony began to walk ahead first and Amelia hesitated, not out of fear, she was simply taking a moment to build up her courage. A lot of memories would fill the halls inside of that place, none of them bringing joy, all of them fuelling the darkness inside of her that would sometimes take over. She needed to be okay with facing her darkness again or else she would be of no use to her brother, Bucky or Steve.

"Be on guard, Zemo will already be here and he'll have had enough time to wake up the Winter Soldiers," she mumbled as they entered through the wide open iron doors. Amelia could remember some days simply staring at them, wondering what could possibly be outside of them, partly convinced that all that waited for her was more pain.

"Least we know Cap and Bucky are here, somewhere," Tony asserted, trying to sound positive and uplifting. The hallways were cold, he was inside his suit that had regulated heating inside of it, but he could still feel the sharp frostiness of the location. Death had wandered those halls, many times. The billionaire took off his mask and so did Amelia, pressing a button on the neckline which made the red, black and blue headgear recede back into a tiara. What the brunette hadn't been paying any attention to, was that by taking off her mask, she'd revealed the concerned expression which was bending all of her features downward. Tony reached out and patted her arm, being a supportive big brother (as though he'd ever stopped being one), "hey, stop worrying, he'll be fine."

"Yeah," she agreed quietly though her eyes remained on the empty gray halls with damp, stained, walls. Amelia could remember walking down the halls, so tiny compared to every other Hydra agent, so much more bruised and scarred as well. Some would look down at her only to sneer, others wouldn't even afford her a glance.

They continued to walk down it as cautiously as they could, both hoping to bump into Bucky or Steve at some point, both hoping they'd find the two best friends before they did the five enemy Winter Soldiers. What would a pack of Winter Soldiers be called, Tony wondered, a herd? A squabble? A gaggle? He knew that a group of sharks was called a Shiver. That seemed most appropriate.

Amelia didn't want to fight them, they were just another bit of darkness that she wished she could just eradicate from existence rather than face. The five Winter Soldiers another shadow on the world that Amelia couldn't see as necessary, not like how Bucky had. All that pain, and all that misery, and she was supposed to see it as good? How could such things ever lead to light?

Her brother began to slow down his walking, trying to rely on Amelia to show him where he needed to go but they were basically in the same boat. The only rooms she knew were her bedroom and the room where they would torture her. Those were the only rooms Hydra had decided she needed to know about.

The siblings made it to the end of a hallway with a closed door at the end of it. The doors were the ones that slid open, Tony learned that after hammering his fist against it twice. He was going to have to pull the door open with his own hands. Turning around to his sister he gave a slight nod of his towards her as she moved to grab a gun from her belt, already following his train of thought.

"You ready?" He asked as he posed in front of the door, already beginning to bend the metal so that he could fit his fingers inside the slit between the two doors.

"Yeah," Amelia bent down behind Tony with a gun raised, both eyes trained on the space in front of her, ready to fire at anyone that might appear once her brother pulled it apart. The metal let out a creak, as though it was screaming as it was forced apart. The brunette's eyes immediately fell onto two figures stood facing them in the room, one man dressed in red, white and blue with his shield raised in front of his body whilst a man in darker clothes waited behind him with a gun drawn pointing over to her and her brother.

The red, white and blue outfit made it very easy for Amelia to identify her opponent. "Steve!" She hollered, standing back up straight and making sure her gun had its safety on as she skipped over to her soldier.

"Amelia!" He sounded so relieved to see her and she couldn't help but feel the same way, despite the fact that the two of them had been repeatedly telling themselves that they'd find their way back to each other like they always did. Amelia launched herself onto him and the Steve hooked one hand around her waist so that he could keep her close. His lips pressed against hers, the two sharing a kiss not caring at all about the two other people in the room awkwardly looking away. They parted and pressed their foreheads together, both overcome with wanton emotions, desiring to do much more than simply kiss after being away from each other for so long. Steve saw the bruise on her cheekbone and uncaringly discarded his shield onto the floor so that he could stroke his fingertips against the dark stain on her skin. "A- Are you okay?" The soldier licked his chapped lips, throat suddenly dry. He knew he shouldn't have left her, he should have tried harder to keep her by his side.

"I am now," she dressed herself in the best smile she could muster, "you?"

"Yeah, just fine, happy to see you're okay," he flashed his own smile to reassure her. Steve was surprised by the overwhelming emotions that stirred through his entire body, making even his hands shake, but it helped make up his mind on one particular thing. Never again. He'd thought they were done with being split after Rebecca, but it _had_ happened again and taught the soldier that he needed to work harder on preventing it, and it also taught him just how much he didn't want to be away from her.

For the first time, that farm with just Amelia and a dog was an actual possibility to him, something he wanted immediately. That way they'd never part ways again.

"I want it," he professed to her, feeling like he was admitting it to himself as well. Though he'd never outright stated, other people had noticed and he'd never disagreed, that Steve Rogers was a soldier through and through, a man that needed a war. What was a soldier without a war? Ultron had asked him that and Steve never really had an answer, not until then. He was a man. Without the war, he was a man, Amelia's boyfriend, soon to be fiancé, soon to be husband. He could be a father, a best friend. He would never be alone, not with her by his side,

"What?" Her eyebrows were thrown together, concern filling her the wider his smile became, reaching a point where he almost looked insane.

"What I promised, I want it, I want it all," immediately, as fast as possible, as soon as their mission was over. It was time that she became his priority as he'd always come first to her.

How was it possible to smile so much just because of one person? It didn't make sense to Amelia, yet still, her face was splitting open all because of Steve. "Me too," she laughed, not knowing what else to reply with, 'thanks' seemed too simple. Their lips came together once more, both of them still smiling widely.

"I, uh, hate to break you guys up, but we kind of have somewhere to be," Tony intruded, looking down at his wrist despite there not being a watch there. Both Steve and Amelia rolled their eyes at his behavior, the soldier did reluctantly drop the billionaire's sister back down to the floor, though she remained stuck to his side like glue with her hand tightly holding on to his, refusing to ever let it go again. Tony eyed their hands, knowing that he'd said earlier to Amelia that he was okay with Steve and her being together and staying together, but it was actually more of a work in progress for Tony as in many ways his initial fears hadn't been solved. Steve was still living a life of fighting and dragging her into it. The billionaire looked to the path ahead, trying to decide which route would be best for them to take, that's when he noticed that Bucky was still stood with his gun raised cautiously pointed towards him. "You can put the gun down soldier, I'm not here for you."

Bucky still remained cautious, the only thing he knew about Tony was that he was the enemy, so just having the billionaire telling him to put the gun down, and that he wasn't a threat, wasn't exactly cutting it for him. Instead, he looked over to Amelia and she sent him a curt nod, understanding his lack of faith in Tony, hoping Bucky would trust her a little bit more. Steve was also looking at her, waiting for her to confirm that what Tony said was honest. "It's true what he's saying," she finally confirmed for both of the soldiers, "he knows about Nutsack and he's here to help us." Bucky began to lower his gun but he still kept a wary gaze fixed on her brother. She turned to look at Tony, then with a much more determined expression on her face, she returned her eyes to her two boys. "I trust him."

"Why the change of heart?" Steve questioned Tony, wanting to figure out what the billionaire's intentions were. Just because he was helping didn't mean he'd stopped being the enemy, he could have been helping for selfish reasons, like trying to get them to sign the accords, or to get Amelia back on his side.

"Your story is starting to sound a lot less crazy." Tony wasn't very good at apologizing, it was something he'd had to do a lot over the past few years but it never got easier for the partially narcissistic genius. "Ross has no idea we're here though, and I'd like to keep it that way, otherwise I've got to arrest myself."

"Well, that sounds like a lot of paperwork," Steve replied, his joke said entirely too serious but it was enough to relax both the soldier and the billionaire. "It's good to see you, Tony," Steve said, his voice filled with authenticity.

"You too, Cap," Tony returned with as much genuineness. The small moment where both superheroes were reuniting, honoring their long-lived friendship, had Amelia making a funny face with a smile playing on her lips as she looked between her soon-to-be-fiancee and her brother, happy that they were pals again. Of course, it didn't mean that everything was okay again, she was sure once they were done with Zemo that the accords would crash down on them all. But Amelia couldn't help but be filled with hope, she and Steve had finally agreed to take a break and try to live a peaceful life, and her brother had started to listen to both her and her soldier. It was all progress that could lead to _something_. That something being the kind of lifestyle she would happily bring her child up in.

The silence lasted a second too long so Amelia turned to face her favourite metal-armed giant that had remained standing a great deal of space away from Tony. "How are you, Buck?"

"Alright," he slowly and cautiously moved his eyes off of Tony to Amelia, then looking around at their surroundings, "it feels strange being back here."

"Yeah, there's a lot of ghosts in these halls," she agreed, feeling a tightness as Steve squeezed her hand supportively. He made her feel so much stronger then she was, like the world was a much less scary place. Amelia was actually glad to have her soldier there in that base, despite never wanting to return, she was glad that her memories of that horrible place would be memories of Steve from then on, rather than dark shadowed rooms and broken bones. If she could, she'd take him to every location that miserably haunted her because his light would always bring the brunette comfort, so much that she'd forget all about the horrible moments and only ever think of that time she was there with _him_. So, she didn't need to fear the halls of the Siberian base, nor what was to come from Nutsack, because Steve was there and she was always safe with him. "But today we need to concentrate on those here that are alive."

"I'm guessing you tried to find out more information about the doctor?" Steve asked Tony, hoping that the billionaire would have done what Steve had been incapable of doing and found out more useful details about their mysterious villain.

"Nutsack, you mean?" Tony quipped, and Steve instantly glared at Amelia for telling her brother of the nickname and carrying it on even when they were in a serious situation, she received his pointed look and returned it with an innocent expression. "Yeah," Tony continued, ignoring the way they were playing with one another, "but I didn't find as much as I would have liked."

"Do we at least have a name for him now?" The soldier eventually dragged his eyes away from Amelia's back over to the billionaire.

"We always had, Nutsack," Amelia tried her best to sound serious but giggles still slipped through.

"Colonel Helmut Zemo," Tony continued anyway.

Steve's eyes didn't even widen as he wasn't shocked by the news, his girlfriend had already suggested before that Zemo was a soldier but having it confirmed was another puzzle piece fitting in perfectly. "He's a soldier. Makes sense."

"I don't think him being a soldier is a part of this," she mumbled, afterward looking up and seeing all the men staring at her curiously. The brunette blushed, bowing her head slightly, "sorry, I'm thinking out loud." She'd been thinking over what Nutsack was trying to achieve for a while, constantly being struck with a sense that she wasn't paying attention to the full puzzle, just one corner of it. So many of Zemo's actions didn't make sense, or they made sense but Amelia didn't trust what they suggested.

"It's fine, if you've got a theory on why he's doing this, I'm all ears," Steve pushed as they began to walk further down the hallway, his hand still attached to hers and she was sure it would remain that way until someone got in the middle of them.

"Doing what?" She returned, waving around her free hand as she spoke, "bringing five Winter Soldiers awake so he can make the world fall apart? Sure, that's a very villainous plan, I'd believe it if this were a movie, but haven't any of you noticed how he's targeting _us_ and has been for a long time?" Amelia made sure to check repeatedly that they were all following her because Steve and Tony were just about as in-the-know as Bucky was when it came to Rebecca, of course they'd discussed her, but she'd never really talked about the knowing smile Rebecca had worn before blowing her brains out. "He was the one behind Rebecca, the one that weaved her mind like a web to make her turn against me and use me. Before Rebecca killed herself, she told me that she'd already won. I could never understand what she meant until then." She could remember clearly her last words, that moment a memory scorched into her.

 _She shook her gun in Amelia's direction though the brunette gave no reaction, far too used to staring down the barrel of a gun for it to ever really scare her again. "What matters is that this is how I'm going to get my revenge. We're going to bring you all down. No… we're going to do something better. We're going to break you apart, just like you did my family."_

" _Rebecca, please." Words, she needed more words than just 'please' and 'I'm sorry', she needed Steve to be there._

 _The doctor just laughed, making Amelia feel even more puny. "You don't even realise it yet, do you?"_

" _Realise what?"_

 _A moment of calmness, it crossed over the tension, a blanket of snow that chilled them all to the bone. Her grey eyes moved to Aaron momentarily, connecting with his eyes, and then she turned to face Amelia. Rebecca didn't look frantic anymore, in fact, she looked content, and for Amelia that was even terrifying._

" _I've already won."_

The psychologist had told her then what Zemo's plan was, it had just taken her far too long to realise that Nutsack and the devil on Rebecca's shoulder that created her vengeful mission shared that same goal: To break them apart. "What Rebecca did was create a rift between us, some distrust… and though I don't like to admit it, what happened has affected me a lot, made me different." That was a bit of an understatement and Amelia wondered if her friends knew that. "I think Nutsack is a villian, but not the kind we're building up in our heads. He's not Ultron, he doesn't have an army behind him and I don't think he needs one for what he's planning." They'd made it deeper into the base though none of them were really paying attention to where they were going, just following Amelia and Bucky as they wandered, most of their attention encapsulated by what the brunette had to say. "Nutsack said that he wants an empire to fall, and I don't think it's the kind of empire we're thinking."

"You think it's us?" Steve was following what she meant easily.

"I think we need to be careful." She didn't want to confirm or deny anything because they knew too little, only what information he'd decided to give them.

Steve opened his mouth to discuss the matter some more, coming to the realisation that Zemo might have left Bucky behind in order to get them all in Siberia. He'd already been able to guess that they'd be entering a trap, but Amelia's revelation made him wonder exactly what sort of trap he'd wandered into. He didn't get to voice these concerns as Tony stopped beside a large red door, facing it with his mask on, "guys, I have heat signatures."

"How many?" Steve asked quietly, tightening his hand even more around Amelia's knowing that in a second he'd have to let go. He didn't like that. He didn't like that he was risking them being apart from one another again.

"Uh… one," Tony uttered, confused and it became mirrored in the three other agents but it didn't stop them from wandering further into the room, their guards up higher than the great wall. Bucky was walking behind Tony, repeatedly switching what side he was walking on and keeping his gun raised, ready to shoot down any enemy that came his way. Amelia had a hand gripping her own gun but she didn't pull it out yet, instead, she kept her eyes trained on the darkly lit room, scanning around, trying to find the source of that one heat signature.

The room they entered was more of a giant chamber, with capsules circling a centerpiece made up of computers and the chair that would be used to eradicate Bucky's memories. Amelia immediately looked over to Bucky, trying to see if he was okay with the sight of that chair, but unlike with the way she had been with 'the naughty chamber', he was simply emotionless. Lights were switched on inside the chamber, the different capsules brightening and revealing bodies inside a yellowed fog, the Winter Soldiers.

Amelia started to walk over to the nearest capsule but she felt Steve tug on her hand, preventing her from getting too close. Still, the brunette got close enough to see a bullet hole in the glass and a wound on every sleeping solder. Dead. All of them were dead. And that increased all of Amelia's concerns even more, because clearly, they weren't there to protect the world, they were there because that's exactly where Zemo needed them to be.

"If it's any comfort, they died in their sleep," the voice came from all around them which meant that he was speaking through an audio system somewhere else. "Did you really think I wanted more of you?" Tony thought that the rhetorical question was just directed at Barnes, but Amelia had a feeling that it wasn't all about Winter Soldiers, but about enhanced individuals. That's what Rebecca had hated most after losing her family, the heroes with the powers to save people but also break people.

"What the hell?" Bucky asked, hands flexing around his gun as nervousness seeped into him, eyes flickering over to each individual, seeing that they were all indeed dead.

"I'm grateful to them, though. They brought you here." Zemo continued to babble on as the group explored the room more, only stopping when a light inside a bunker across from them switched on, revealing Nutsack in all his glory. Everyone raised their gun at the sudden movement, Cap even throwing his shield to attack the man, their only aim to immobilize Zemo before he could do something bad. Their attacks did nothing though, as the man was safe inside a bunker. "Please, Captain. The Soviets built this chamber to withstand the launch blast of UR-100 rockets."

"I'm betting I could beat that," Stark threatened cockily, the group begin to circle around the electric chair in the middle of the room to get closer to Zemo was. Amelia and Steve were still holding hands.

"Oh, I'm sure you could, Mr. Stark. Given time. But then you'd never know why you came," he smirked, seeing his plan coming together so perfectly bringing the man such great joy. His eyes flickered over to the brunette wandering beside the soldier, his eyes dancing across her figure. She was the one he was most excited to see, because to him, she would become the most destructive once his plan was completed. "You're being uncharacteristically quiet, Amelia. Or should I call you AS09?"

A snort escaped her but her expression did not change, her eyes were still staring daggers at the coward hidden away in a bunker, analysing him, trying to keep a tight hold on all of her emotions because she _knew_ what his aim was, thanks to what Rebecca had given away, and she refused to be one of his pawns. She would remain calm, and she would remain composed. There was nothing that the man would be able to do to make her split from the people surrounding her, in her mind they'd already proved how unbreakable they were by finding their way back to one another after a particularly ugly battle. "You think you can hurt me by calling me an old name? You clearly need to learn some more tactics," she quipped darkly, "I'm not AS09, haven't been for a good while now."

"We'll see how long that lasts," a knowing smile approached his lips and Amelia felt her stomach topple to the ground when she saw it. It was exactly the same as Rebecca's had been.

"You killed innocent people in Vienna just to bring us here?" Steve questioned, trying to get the man talking so that he'd be able to understand what his motivations were.

Beside him, Amelia was searching around the room to ensure that he had no backup or weapons hidden away, and during her search, she spotted something by the door, or _someone_. The Black Panther. His eyes were staring off at a wall and she knew that he was finally hearing their side as well, finally hearing the truth behind his father's death. She decided to not call him out or bring anyone else's attention to him, believing that he would become a friend now that he'd finally heard the truth. Though she'd interacted with him only a few times and not really gotten a good read on his personality, that invisible connection that they shared made her trust him more than she normally would any other person.

"I thought about nothing else for over a year," Zemo admitted, stepping closer to the glass, looking to Captain America with sickening amazement. "I studied you. I followed you. But now that you're standing here, I just realized… there's a bit of green in the blue of your eyes. How nice to find a flaw."

Amelia's head snapped back over to Zemo, one eyebrow thrown up to the top of her head in bafflement at what he'd just said. "Funny how you consider a little bit of green as a flaw. You. A terrorist who has killed people." Her counter came out snappy but she didn't care about whether she was infuriating him or not, her protectiveness over Steve and the mix of crazy hormones making her a little less careful.

"If I'm a monster, then what does that make you?" He cocked his head to the side.

"I don't deny what I am," the brunette replied easily, "but you, you've been keeping a lot from us Nutsack. Like the fact that you're from Sokovia." It had taken a while for her to get a read on his accent but her trained ears had eventually picked up on it. That, and Tony had told her on their way over to the Siberian base.

"You think that's why I'm here?" He chuckled lowly, clearly amused that they still had no idea why he was doing what he was and that infuriated the brunette more. She kept telling herself that she shouldn't get angry, that even just that emotion was dangerous as Zemo could use it to lead to disarray. "Sokovia was a failed state long before you blew it to hell. No. I'm here because I made a promise." He seemed to become more serious towards the end of his sentence, lips slipping down to a frown and eyes beginning to twinkle with forlorn tears.

"You lost someone?" Steve guessed, not saying it any malicious way, not aiming to use it against Zemo, simply wishing to understand. The soldier had learned loss in the most painful of ways in the past two weeks, having lost Peggy, then his friends, then Amelia for a short while. He could recognize that pain now, and he saw it bleeding out of the man in front of him.

Zemo began to sneer, leaning closer, wishing for a moment that he was stood right in front of the perfect soldier so that he could spit his next words right into the man's face. "I lost everyone," he hissed, fury consuming his tone, his eyes, his heart, "and so will you." Then he remembered why he needed to be in that chamber, why it was important for him to not be available for capture by them. So that he could press a button. A button, that was it, a simple button. Not even a button to a nuclear bomb. It wouldn't set the room on fire, or fill it with water so that he could drown the life out of them. No, that button was just going to start playing a video. And that video would do so much more damage than any bomb, or fire, or lack of oxygen, ever could to a person.

Pressing it was the easiest thing he'd ever have to do.

From behind Amelia and Steve, a video began to play on a screen. She didn't immediately look at it like Steve did, though every ounce of her being was curious to know what it was. "An empire toppled by its enemies can rise again. But one which crumples from within? That's dead _forever_." Zemo chimed, his eyes locked with Amelia's and she could see him pushing her to look, even to just have a little peek.

She heard behind her the sound of Tony walking towards the screen, iron boots clanking against the cement floor loudly, echoing into the uneasy silence.

"What is it, Tony?" Amelia asked, quietly, hating that she even wanted to ask but she had a sense that it was something that revolved around her. Why would Zemo put so much effort into making her his first target if it wasn't?

Her brother did a double take as he looked at the screen, a place he hadn't laid his eyes on for the past twenty years, yet just that tiny little section was as familiar to him as the back of his hand. "I- I know this road. This is where the car crash happened."

It was amazing, really, how Amelia lost her hold on every single emotion and every single adamant denial the moment the car crash was brought up. It was a video of that night, it was the truth. That's what Zemo was giving her, the truth, and for a split second that was the greatest gift in the world to her. But she had no idea the price that came with such a truth.

"Amelia don't-" Steve's heart was hammering in his chest as he tried to stop her from walking over to the screen but she didn't stop, she wouldn't stop for anyone in that moment. The truth was seconds away from her. Amelia used her powers to force Steve to release his hold on her hand and then she joined her brother's side, looking at the video clip with baited breath.

It was the road she always saw in her dream, and seconds after she started to watch, a familiar car was thrown against a lamppost, the front of the vehicle bending upwards. In the background, a motorbike passed by, returning to the scene shortly afterward. It was him, she thought, it was the man who kidnapped her.

She watched as her father climbed out of the vehicle, crawling across the floor. There was audio for the video. "My wife," her father had cried before the figure grabbed a hold of his head and lifted him upward, there was a second of silence as her father analyzed the man's face. "Lieutenant Barnes?"

No… No. No. No. _No_. _NO_.

She was shaking, every inch of her trembling.

"Howard!" Her mother's voice came through the audio, but her father didn't get time to reply as the man who Amelia refused to believe was Bucky began to hit him in the face. Over and over and over and over again. Blood spilled from the unrecognizable mess that had once been her father, and then his head drooped down. He was gone. Her father had been killed. Her mum was still crying out for him.

The man grabbed her father's corpse and returned him to the front of the car. Then he rounded to the other side, and he strangled her mother. And Amelia knew from experience that he strangled her for longer than was necessary.

He started to move away, going to the boot, but there was a noise in the back seat. Why did she have to make a noise? She could have been safe, if she hadn't made that one noise. Amelia felt like begging at the screen for the monster to not go near her, to not hurt her, to just spare the child. But it was too late. _It was too late._

The man opened the back door, revealing to the camera the child sat in a car seat crying out for her parents. She was his going to be his next victim, and Amelia was hit with a sense of helplessness as she watched herself so easily allow the giant man to wrap his hand around her throat.

One second went by, then five, then ten, then fifteen. Fifteen seconds. His hand was wrapped around her throat for fifteen long seconds before he dropped it, the man's entire body turning slack all of a sudden. The child in the car was doing something, but she couldn't tell exactly what she was doing as the mans figure hid it from view.

To everyone's surprise, the man reached into the car and he grabbed the child, lifting her into his arms. He was taking her. He was going to take her to hell.

 _No. No. No. No. No. No. Please god, no._ She wanted to scream the words out loud but there was an ice in her soul that had made her an entire body into a frozen wasteland, and yet she could feel herself burning.

The man turned around and raised up a gun towards the camera inadvertently revealing his face. Bucky. The man was Bucky. Amelia knew it was Bucky, but the hurt that that information brought her was unbearable, because if it was Bucky, then that meant he knew, and that meant Steve possibly knew as well.

No. No. No.

He shot the camera with the child in his arms and the video ended there. Amelia was frozen, trying to deny every piece of information flying through her head. Feeling like a small child trying to fend off the darkness. Her brother didn't react the same way, instantly jumping to go after Bucky but Steve got in his way.

Steve. He'd promised to not lie to her, to not keep things from her. He couldn't have known about Bucky being the one that gave her to Hydra.

"Tony, Amelia…" Steve tried to speak, but what words could he say?

"Did you know?" Tony asked, voice the kind of calm that was dangerous.

But Steve was busy looking over to Tony's sister, doing nothing to hide his guilt, "Amelia, I'm sorry."

"Answer his question. Did you know? Did you know that it was Bucky?" She needed an answer. She needed to know if he'd genuinely sat with her all those nights, after all those nightmares, and lied to her face. If he'd allowed her to give Bucky a chance, when he was the monster who'd taken away _everything_ from her. If he had seriously looked her in the eye and made that promise despite knowing that he was never going to be able to keep it. If he had seriously made that already broken promise, and continued to make promises on top of a tumbling foundation. She needed to know if he, Steve Rogers, her soldier, her protector, her angel, her light, had really purposely hurt her in such a way.

'No' was what he went to say, and yet after facing those eyes filled with dying stars, all that came from his lips was a choked: "Yes."

"How long?" Her voice quaked beneath the emotions burning rampantly inside of her. Had he known before he made the promise? After he made the promise? Did he learn a week ago? A month ago? A year ago? _How long?_

Again he made to lie to her, to try and ease the tension in the room, but he couldn't. Steve had lied to her plenty, and maybe if it wasn't too late, maybe if he started telling the truth then, he could heal up the damage that he'd done to their relationship. "Long enough."

* * *

 **A/N: OOOOOOHHHHHHHH SHIT TWIZZLERS! Y'all better prepare for a wild ride with these next three chapters!**

 **To The Observer 2.O, I see you're catching up lol, you're probably about to leave more reviews and I would wait so I could reply to them all but I've got an internet situation going on and I have to get this out as fast as possible so please excuse me if my replies are short and rushed as well! I BELIEVE (I'll have to check my phrasing) I should have meant it in a way like 'he was going to put her in a cage, making her out to be some sort of dangerous weapon', that's literally what I put in my plan for the chapter but clearly my phrasing changed as I was writing. I'm glad you see Amelia's ignorance, you see it more than I intended but it still works out because at the start she's more like Steve than herself, seeing his own hatred towards the Accords and so she tries to mirror that. You are right that I could have done more, and this is definitely something I'm going to learn, I just wanted to get to that end so badly that I didn't much care for the start. I put effort into it, but I could have done better. I kept Peggy's death in the end (there is a version of my plan where she does live) because it fuels this character arc for Steve, the man lost his 'almost' and he thinks he's about to lose his team, its what makes him hold onto Bucky so hard that he'd even fight against the Avengers. "Still though, she hated to see herself fight with the rest of the Avengers" at that point she isn't thinking of a literal fight like what happens at the airport. Thank you for complimenting my representation of depression, I never thought much on how I portray it but it means SO FUCKING MUCH that people believe I'm writing it correctly. And also thank you for calling my writing super, I agree that this story has come a long way, but it also still has a long way to go, especially part two and a lil bit of part three I think. HEY YOU'RE THE FIRST PERSON I'VE SEEN FIGURE OUT THE CONNECTION BETWEEN AMELIA AND T'CHALLA (KIND OF) WELL DONE! Also glad you're liking the development I'm showing, I was worried people wouldn't like it because its not exactly romantic and whatnot, but to me my character is a someone, not just a lover, but their own person who needs to go on their own journeys and develop. Especially because all of her development is a result of Steve, nothing a result of herself, if that even makes sense. You don't need to apologise, I always enjoy hearing your point of view, both the negative and the positive so don't worry about it. I don't admit to being a good writer, I admit to always being able to improve ^^ Amelia couldn't fly to the helipad because of the drug Zemo had injected her with, it was mentioned that she couldn't float down to the bottom of the staircase to catch Zemo. Flying would be way too much of a risk whilst she was feeling funny. THANKS FOR POINTING OUT THE INVISIBILITY THING I CHANGED IT! Oh. OH. OH NO. I clearly have made a dumbass assumption, I'll have to try and go through and change that thing about the arm, again, thanks for letting me know. God, I feel like a meatball. I'm glad you liked Nutsack, Part Four is such a serious part I needed to throw in something funny and lighthearted. SORRY I DIDN'T REPLY TO EVERYTHING BUT I DON'T WANT TO LOSE INTERNET PLEASE FORGIVE ME! IF THERE'S ANYTHING YOU WANT ME TO REGARD LET ME KNOW! Just as I was about to post this you made another two reviews, I've noticed that throughout the movies after Civil War his hand injury is still a thing and I wanted to bring attention to that. And I'm happy you enjoyed Ross' and Tony's interaction, I was trying to portray Ross outside of Amelia's perceptions and your review makes me realise that I managed it lol. I'm glad you liked this chapter so much and I'm glad you're enjoying the name. This is actually a fear of my own, not being a good mother because I haven't grown up knowing any, and this is an argument made quite a lot to me. Personally, I don't think I'll ever have a baby because of it, I'll just have dogs and my characters as my children. And aww with that changing your opinion on their relationship. Thanks again for telling me the other spelling mistake, I'll go correct that in a second and THANK YOU FOR ENJOYING THE CHAPTER. Hope you enjoy the next one, it's one of my faves. OH LOOK YOU JUST READ IT HI, the good thing about you reading now is you didn't have to wait an entire two days before getting the next chapter so congrats on that lol and thank you for complimenting the depth I gave Bucky, I was unsure about it but I'm content with my portrayal. He might seem a little too close to Amelia and too trusting but there is a reason for that.**

 **To Faora, Ross was trying to tell Tony about the baby but lol the world (or, me, I guess) just doesn't want anyone to know yet. Thank you for the review! Glad you're enjoying the fic!**

 **To Pitspee, yay for bonding! Omg 'Winter is coming' that's hilarious. I wanted to leave a little bit to the imagination rather than giving a strict image, I just provided little clues here and there. We'll actually get to meet Addy in this fic soon, so look forward to that, maybe you'll start to like her a lil more then. OH MY GOD BUDDY I LOVE IT THANK YOU FOR THAT I'M USING IT ITS OFFICIAL. Also oh my god don't I'll cry, thank you so much, I know I've said it before and I'll say it a hundred thousand times but this project, as small as it started out to be, has become something huge to me and so so important. So thank you so much.**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, how are you feeling after the reveal is done?**

 **To kuppcake, I'm sorry that this chapter has probably done nothing but make you even more nervous.**

 **To Sam0728, BREATHE WOMAN BREATHE, YOU NEED TO LIVE TO SEE THE ENDING OF THIS STORY (though it'll be a while before we get the real ending cause obvs we gotta wait until Avengers 4 comes out)**

 **To LoveFiction2018, yay glad to hear it, I hope to see you there when it comes out. In Infinity War we will actually get to meet Addy so hopefully that'll give you more of an idea of what's to come.**

 **To AngelElmarlienHenning, yay I'm glad to hear you're excited ^^ and also just asdfghjkl; thank you for appreciating all the effort I've put into this, I'm still more grateful for the time you put into giving me reviews, but yeah, thank you!**

 **To LadyAmazon, ahaha I didn't even think about that, Ross is one of the first people to find out, I bet Amelia will hate that.**

 **To rosequartz121, I can confirm she does not walk away, no, something much more spectacular than that happens. The next chapter is something that was completely unplanned but I hope you enjoy it and don't feel like it disrupted the story. And I'm happy to hear you're excited about Bones Becoming Flowers ^^**

 **To BrittStar1199, someone certainly needs to give her a good telling off lol and from everything you've said so far, you'd be the perfect person. Once again, you is right, she better give Steve a good telling off for the betrayal because it is far worse to anything Tony has done to her.**

 **To Assbitch67, YAY FOR ADDY! Is it a good thing Ross didn't spill the tea though? Is it? We'll find out I guess ;)**

 **AND A BIG THANKS TO EVERYONE THAT READ THE CHAPTER! Sorry for the sporadic uploads, internet still isn't a thing here.**


	95. Chapter Ninety-One

**CHAPTER NINETY-ONE**

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"He, who had done more than any human being to draw her out of the caves of her secret, folded life, now threw her down into deeper recesses of fear and doubt. The fall was greater than she had ever known, because she had ventured so far into emotion and had abandoned herself to it."

― **Anaïs Nin**

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Amelia Stark had always been a strong believer that there were far worse things than death. She'd lived through most of them whilst growing up, been formed by them, every dark moment a hammer and chisel that chipped away, making her into the woman she was today. The man she once titled as her soldier became that last nick, taking away far too much, destroying her entire structure and making her fall into a pile of dust.

She had thought that Steve was vines, growing around her, embracing her aged and cracked stone, blossoming flowers and decorating her with life. But he had been thorns the entire time, their sharp edges digging deeper into where she was weakest until eventually he broke through her altogether.

Amelia Stark had always been a strong believer that there were far worse things than death, but she hadn't known how much ruin could be caused by a broken promise, and she'd had no idea that it would be Steve who'd become a worse thing than death to her.

The soldier stood close to her, his hand slightly raised as though he was hoping that she would reach out and take his but Amelia couldn't. She couldn't even move. Her entire body was frozen and the world didn't feel real anymore. All the brunette could feel was the power slowly rising up inside of her, like a wildfire that was starting off at just a spark. Amelia was scared to move, believing if she did that she'd bring down the entire building as the power was reaching uncontrollable levels.

There was so much darkness in her, and she didn't have Steve's light anymore, it was too tainted by his broken promise to mean anything to her any longer. He was a lie, they were a lie.

Tony was acting a little different. He hadn't been forced to fear every dark emotion that swirled inside of him. Instead, he'd learnt to let them take over, fuel his passion and guide his actions. Sadness, betrayal, those were some emotions going through him. But it was anger that reigned supreme. Anger, over the fact that Bucky Barnes had killed his parents and took his little sister away. Anger, because since that day his life had become so lonely and so cold and so full of regrets. Anger, for Amelia who had been taken at such a young age and put through more agony than a war veteran like Steve had even experienced. Anger, because he couldn't go back in time to stop what had happened. Determination, because Bucky was right there, his parents' killer and his sisters' kidnapper, and though Tony wasn't able to go back in time, he was able to exterminate the scumbag that ruined his and his sister's life.

The mask on his suit was thrown up and Iron Man began to fly, charging straight over to Bucky and shoving the monster against the wall of the chamber. Steve watched on with horror, beginning to move forward so he could fight for his friend but he stopped to look at Amelia, his eyes continuing to flicker between his best friend and his lover.

She met his eyes for the first time since watching that video, and though she couldn't move, couldn't even speak, she was screaming inside her mind. Couldn't he hear her screaming?

It made her detest herself even more because all that Amelia wanted was still Steve, even after learning about the monumental secret he'd kept from her for the past three years. All Amelia wanted was for Steve to stay where he was, to apologize, to beg for her forgiveness, to tell her that he loved her with all his heart and that the secret had been a mistake that he'd let go on for too long.

And Steve could have. He wanted to apologize, and beg for forgiveness, and tell her that he loved her with all his heart, soul, body, mind, each individual hair on his goddamn body. And he wanted, most of all, to tell her that the secret, the promise he'd never kept, was a humongous mistake that he'd let go on for too long because he was afraid of what the truth would do to her. He could have done all that. He _should_ have done all that. But the soldier knew if he did stay there to comfort her then Bucky would die. Tony, her brother, was going to kill someone without even really thinking over his actions, it was Steve's _duty_ to prevent that.

He left her.

He ran after Tony and Bucky, joining their fight, and he left Amelia all alone, drowning in her own darkness with no sign of light to banish it anywhere. Her only light had been Steve, and now that she was without him, the only sun in her galaxy, only shadows surrounded her, only destruction and ruin and every creeping monster that had been hidden away because they would get burnt far too easily by Steve's obnoxious rays.

If Amelia was a planet, then she was also a victim of tsunamis, hurricanes, storms, wildfires, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions. It was all a part of her, things that couldn't have happened without her, but they were also punishing her. Just a part of her nature. That destruction, it was always just a part of her nature. It was one great collapse going on inside of her, and she had no doubt that once her life had been demolished, the planet itself would consume itself. Her powers would grow in her empty vessel and form like a black hole, then nowhere would be safe.

She couldn't breathe anymore, she was dying. No, she wasn't, she was having a panic attack and her heart was so broken it felt like she was dying. Amelia wouldn't have minded dying.

They were all fighting behind her, throwing each other around, hitting one another. If Amelia could breathe she would join them, if Amelia could think, she would have already killed Bucky because he'd done it, he'd given her to Hydra, made her into the monster that she was and Steve had _known_ _all along_ so her loyalties to him were feeling a little skewered amidst all that scorn burning her. But she couldn't, all the brunette do was fall numbly to the ground and try to make herself breathe.

It didn't take long before black began to burn against her sweating amber skin, growing and growing, stretching out across the floor and she was dealing with it all alone, all by herself. Because Steve had betrayed her, and Tony was trying to get their vengeance. She was all alone. So, _so_ alone.

The black flames began to circle around her, sparks flying upward and filling the air, making it even more suffocating for anyone that walked near her. There was no control. Amelia had no control over what was happening around her. Pieces of the background began to break apart in patches, random spots just turning into dust. And it was going to spread, like a disease, her powers were going to spread throughout the entire planet until everything was dust. Until everything was nothing, like the way she felt. Until everything was consumed by darkness, just like her.

Maybe that was what she wanted in the end, for the world to feel as much pain as she did in that moment.

That was what she was in the end. A weapon meant to destroy. A monster built with a shrapnel heart, a gun smoke smile, with bloodied hands and bloodied knives. That was why Steve didn't respect their promise enough, that's why he'd lied to her and deceived her, because it's what she deserved.

"Hello, my Queen of Hell."

Her eyes shot up as she saw the Black Panther approaching her, his steps slow and his hands raised in case she tried to attack him, but by the softness in his tone it was clear that his intentions with approaching her were pure hearted.

Immediately she raised up her hand, "don't come near me," she warned with rushing panic, "I- I'll kill you."

She destroyed everything. That's why Steve lied to her. It was all because of that darkness inside of her that she could never rid herself of, it was always there, it was always going to be there. What hope did she ever have in stopping it?

"You're right." That voice. It was Pierce's. Amelia looked up and found herself surrounded by all of her demons, every individual that had shoved another piece of darkness into her. They didn't look entirely like themselves, their skin painted as ashy colour, giving them the same texture of the dust she made destroying things. It was because they were also her victims, Amelia understood at least that much, though she couldn't completely understand why she was seeing them.

"You're nothing but a monster," Rebecca added, face stuck in a permanent knowing smile.

"A killer," Aaron continued, his neck a different colour to the rest of his body.

"Did you really think you could be anything more?" Charles Spencer asked, his upper body looked fine but the bottom half was mangled and destroyed.

"Did you really think things would end any differently?" Pietro Maximoff spat the words down at her crouched figure, his body pierced by numerous holes that once looked through, allowed her to see the space behind him.

"The darkness inside of you," Amelia spun around to see the next person, finding a copy of Steve made entirely of dust stepping forward with his hand holding AS09's, the version of herself with a shaved head and a fake smirk deflecting all signs of emotions. Steve had been the first to speak, but it was AS09 that finished the last of their sentence, "it means that you are unworthy of happiness."

"Unworthy of being loved," again Amelia had to spin her head around to see had spoken next, and she was met with the sight of her childhood self, just tall enough to also be looking down at her older self, looking down almost with shame at how feeble and broken she'd become. "Right?"

The questioning tone at the end confused Amelia a lot, as all of her past victim's appearances seemed so sure that she was a monster. Yet her younger self, she was asking for _her_ opinion on the matter. Why?

It was hard to concentrate on that though as the figures of dust continued to multiply, bodies filling up the entire space of the room and Amelia could recognize each face. They were all the people she'd killed. All staring down at her, judging her, _hating_ her.

T'Challa stared at the appearances of each individual, incapable of recognizing any of the people there, baffled by them even being there in the form of moving grains of grey, twinkling, sand. He was able to figure out that they had appeared because of whatever was happening with the Queen of Hell. Their words were even more curious, especially if his theory of them being part of her mental attitude was correct. Why so self-deprecating? Why were they trying so hard to make sure she felt so abhorrent about herself and her life? Either way, he was also noticing how the black flames were spreading across the ground and starting to eat away at different parts of the cement and iron littered around her. She needed to be stopped.

But the King wasn't like most people. He didn't immediately think about putting her down, or putting her in a cage. Sure, he saw her as dangerous, but he also saw this as an uncontrollable part to her powers that could be rectified.

He walked onward, into the fire, his suit protecting him from any damage that her black powers could do. T'Challa still walked around all of the makeshift people, being sure not to touch them, scared of what they were. Amelia had put her head in her hands, her mind buzzing with so many thoughts that it was impossible for her to concentrate on anything at all. He didn't touch her, simply crouched down beside her, taking off his mask so that he could speak to her more intimately. "What do you need, my Queen?"

Perhaps she'd gone through something like this before and knew of a way to stop it.

"I need all the darkness to just go away," she sobbed, weakly, wishing for Steve to be there and hating herself for wanting such a liar to be by her side still.

The Panther chewed on his lip and sighed, not because he felt helpless but because he knew exactly what was happening to the poor girl. From what he'd gathered, she had just seen a video of her parents dying, something that T'Challa had quite recently had to experience himself. So he had felt that darkness too, maybe not as much as her because he hadn't lived through a tortured life (he learnt about that from Natasha when they were on the way to the airport), but he could still recognise the anger and the rage and the self-destruction she would be experiencing as it was the reason he was even in that building.

"You feel as though you are consumed by darkness," he began, his words making enough sense to her that Amelia looked up at him helplessly. She didn't know him, but their few conversations and that sense of a connection was enough to make her trust him. Then she finally understood what that connection had been. He'd lost his parents, she'd just watched herself losing her parents, they were both dealing with that. That was their connection. And it had been so important, because it was leading up to that moment when he would help her fight the darkness off. "That darkness brings with it so much pain, and you just want it all to go away. You want to forget about it, to just go back to a time when things were happy and there was only light."

The gazebo, Amelia wanted so much to just go back to the gazebo.

"I can tell you, Queen of Hell, that the pain and the darkness will never go away, and that you should not view it as a bad thing. That darkness is suffering, yes, but it also fuel to make us stronger and to make us wiser." He spoke passionately, showing how much he believed in the words he said and he really did. He'd taken the long way around discovering just what darkness could do to a person, if they let it consume them then it could lead them to destroying innocent lives (he was ruining his reputation, and he was going to kill an innocent man before learning that Zemo was the one who'd really killed his father), but if that person were to hold that darkness and tell it 'no, you are not the one in control', well, then that person would be capable of doing amazing things. "Do not let yourself fall apart because of the fault of others, that fire inside of you right now can not burn you, _you_ are that fire."

"Why do you hate me so much?" Her younger self asked, interrupting T'Challa and Amelia who had been staring intensely at each other. They both looked over to the small girl, she looked to be crying, but how could a tear appear where there was only dust?

"I- I don't hate you," she thought she hadn't, but in that moment all she could do was blame herself for everything going wrong.

Why was the child even saying that? Why was a part of her mind even asking such a question? She knew it was a part of her powers that clearly sometimes had a mind of their own, they had when she was first joined with the Tesseract, and perhaps they were also the reason behind her seeing Alexander Pierce for that entire year.

Of course. It clicked for her then. Alexander Pierce had been placed in her mind to teach her a lesson, and so were all the people around her, they were all there to make her see something. And so was T'Challa, he was another person fated to be there in that moment, that was why her powers had made her so acutely aware of him, told her that she needed him for something.

Amelia couldn't possibly wrap her head around why, or even how, some part of her was sentient. She had a theory, that it could be another gift from the Space Stone, that part of it inside of her that held untold power. She couldn't really concentrate on that as she needed to figure out whatever her powers were trying to tell her before the entire building collapsed.

"Look at you," Steve sneered, "so terrified of your own power."

But it wasn't her power that she was terrified of, it was the darkness. And that was exactly the problem, she realised.

Even without meaning to, Amelia had been shoving and shoving and shoving her darkness away, refusing it, allowing it to dance with her powers and grow together, she'd just refused to accept it which is why it was so uncontrollable.

Finally, Amelia knew what she needed to do.

"Get away from me," she huffed, feeling out of breath as her powers ripped against her flesh like claws. T'Challa didn't move away at first, simply stared at her with concern. "I need to do something and you need to be a safe distance away. _Now get away from me_." She repeated her words, sounding much more confident which inspired some faith in T'Challa.

"Good luck, my Queen." T'Challa knew that she wasn't really a queen, especially not a Queen of _Hell_ , but he'd hoped the nickname would create a sense of friendship for the struggling brunette. He stepped back up as Amelia stumbled her way onto her feet as well, the Panther reaching out and supplying some assistance. She immediately tensed at his hand touching her arm, but after seeing him not scream in agony she knew that he was okay to touch her. She wondered if it was the other sentience inside of her preventing her powers from hurting him. After helping her to her feet they gave supportive nods to one another, T'Challa mentally telling her to stay strong whilst she was reassuring him that she'd be able to handle what was about to happen.

He left her alone. Alone, again, with nothing but her darkness. Something Amelia would normally run away from but not that time. Finally, she was going to face all the demons that had been going after her. She needed to, for that baby in her stomach and for all the children of the world. She would not allow her darkness to hurt anyone else. No, it was never her darkness. It was her, refusing to acknowledge her darkness.

She had by no means forgotten about what Steve had done, or what Bucky had done. They had added more black flames that she could feel burning her from both the inside and on the outside. Amelia knew she would deal with them eventually.

The brunette spun around, facing all of her past enemies. She stopped when she was looking at her childhood self again. "Who are you?"

"I am you." It responded simply, its voice high like a child's would be but their pronounciation of the words was mature like an adults. "And you are me."

"Cut the bullshit, I know you're not real. None of you." She was out of breath and feeling dizzy, her skin peeling off beneath the powers as it was too much for just a human to handle. "Why are you doing this? Putting me through this?"

"Because I love you," the child, or the sentience, responded, "you are me, and I am you. And just because you don't love yourself, that doesn't stop me from loving you enough for the both of us."

"I don't understand," Amelia revealed meagerly, beginning to slump forward as the simple task of standing up was draining more of her energy.

"You won't for a while, I'm afraid," it, they, her, replied sadly, "not until _he_ comes, if you're even there for it."

"What do you mean? I'm guessing you're talking about the future here," Amelia could believe that the sentience was able to see the future because of the connection they'd made her aware of between herself and T'Challa, the king that finally helped her see that she'd been facing her darkness in entirely the wrong way. "But you're talking as though I'm not going to be there in the future, is something going to happen to me?"

They kept their lips tightly sealed for a moment, unwilling to give that much information away but the longer they stared at Amelia's defeated face, the weaker their resolve seemed to become. "There is a possibility of you not being there. You will have to make a choice, and I'm so sorry, but that choice will come soon and it has the potential to destroy you. Just know that you're not alone, and that you've never needed his light."

"So you're a friend then, not a foe," the brunette eyed her surrounding enemies warily, knowing that the sentience chose those faces to make her want to fight back, but it still was uncomfortable to see them all.

"What do you think?" It laughed, a weird sound coming from her childhood self.

Amelia didn't laugh, she couldn't. "I think it's absolutely terrifying knowing that you're inside of me and have been there for quite a while, even more so because you're not really telling me much other than I'm going to die soon."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, you keep saying that," she felt her cheek begin to shred off her skin and turn to dust, and the room around her was starting to creak from all the parts of it which were missing thanks to her chaotic powers.

Her childhood self looked towards the older brunette with concern, "you're running out of time, you need to do it now."

Amelia nodded herself, trying to seem strong, but she couldn't help but show off a crack as she truly started to accept what her next task would be. "I'm scared," she admitted quietly.

"I know," the sentience responded, cracking a small joke because _of course_ they knew, they were inside her head.

"What if I can't do it?"

Again, the sentience laughed, much louder that time. "You are Amelia _fucking_ Stark. A demon to some, an angel to others. Queen of Hell. Monster. Weapon. Guardian angel. Sister, girlfriend, _mother_. Survivor, conqueror, phoenix." The way they described her was full of pride. "Do you really think anything could stop you now?"

It was a little comforting actually, to know that somewhere inside of her, there was at least some part in her (though it might not actually _be a part of her_ ) that had faith in her abilities.

"You can do this Amelia," the sentience pushed one last time, " _you can do this_."

 _She could fucking do it_ , Amelia started to tell herself.

At her sides, she tightened her fists, not enough to pierce her palms, just enough that she could feel her entire body clench and create an armor as finally, she faced all of her demons. All of her fears about the dark powers, all of her suicidal thoughts and demented dreams, her fears over being a mother, a good girlfriend, a good sister. Steve and Bucky's betrayal. They were all apart of the darkness that she had been pushing away, allowing it to build up and become an unstoppable force of its own.

But not anymore.

Because that darkness was hers. It was a part of her just as much as AS09 was, and it was not something that needed to be feared but something that needed to be controlled.

And if there was one person strong enough to do such a thing, it was _her_.

Her entire life she'd viewed the darkness as something to fear, something to run away from, something she'd always just covered up with darkness. Bucky had been both wrong and right in what he'd said. The darkness wasn't necessary. All that torture she'd gone through, all that pain, none of it was necessary. But it happened, and it made the light even brighter by existing. It was a curse, that in the end, would always lead to something _better_. It was hope. That's what the darkness gave her, what the darkness showed her, because _every single time_ in her life that the world came crashing down a bottomless pit of black, she would eventually find that impossible end and find light filtering through. The darkness wasn't necessary, but its very existence gave room for light. As with the night sky, Amelia would not have her starlight powers if it weren't for the darkness within.

She pulled in every inch of darkness, both mental and physical, allowing it to skim over her flesh and burn every part of her. It hurt, but Amelia Stark had been raised in pain, she'd known nothing but pain and that made her stronger than the average man.

T'Challa watched peeking out from behind the wall, and his jaw had dropped open in amazement as all flames and all dust seemed to freeze in the air for a moment, the sparkling specks of dust almost like stars that he was tempted to reach out and touch. His eyes flickered over to Amelia whose eyes were fixed on her younger self with determination, her body beginning to rise up more.

Then everything was moving around again, fast. The dust and the flames spun around the room, making his view of Amelia more blurred as he could only see through some small spaces in the wall of black. From inside the barrier, he saw the multiple figures created by the dust begin to fall apart slowly, joining the vortex and making it even thicker. The last thing T'Challa saw of Amelia was her nodding to the last figure to disappear, her childhood self.

Then the wall was impenetrable and still moving, creating a wind current that made the Panther's eyes burn and tear up. It took him a few seconds to notice but the wall was shrinking, closing in on where Amelia had been standing. Eventually wrapping around her completely in a cocoon-like formation. Silence settled, the clanking of metal heard from some other side of the base where Tony must have been fighting Steve and Bucky but all of T'Challa's attention was captivated on the missing brunette.

The more time that passed, the more concerned he became. The Panther began to carefully crawl back into the room, his footsteps loud in his ears. Had Amelia lost the battle against the darkness? That was how it was starting to look.

A crack appeared in the black sandy oval that had surrounded Amelia's body, and from it, light began to leak out. He stopped where he was walking, wondering if he should retreat or not. Another crack followed that, then another, and each time another beam of white starlight would burst from it. Cracks continued to form until T'Challa could barely even look at the ball anymore without his eyes aching. It was like he was looking directly at the sun.

He began to step back, sensing that it wasn't safe for him to be so close to the leaking cocoon. T'Challa's assumption was confirmed shortly after as it finally broke apart, a blast of white energy exploding from within and pushing the Panther back. He fell over, his body crashing to the floor and rolling all the way to the wall pass the doorway. If the wall hadn't been there, he was sure he would have gone a lot further.

The Panther was winded and disoriented, his vision repeatedly going in and out of focus as he raised his head back up. The first thing he wanted to do wasn't check up on himself, but see if Amelia was doing okay. He forced his aching body to roll so that he could look to where she had been, though at first he wasn't sure if it was Amelia still standing there.

At first he saw an angel, but there were demonic aspects to her as well. She was both. Part angel, part demon.

There was indeed a person. They had a human body, two arms, two legs, two eyes, a mouth, nose, long flowing brown hair that went wavy towards the end. But there were also wings, reaching so far outward they touched the walls on each side of the chamber. The wings were an anomaly of their own, as black as the suit that he wore with white lights dotting inside of them, some even moving, looking a lot like shooting stars dancing across the sky. The person's hands followed this pattern, whilst one glowed with white energy, the other glowed with black. It was a unity of black and white, dark and light, good and evil.

It was… beautiful.

But sometimes beauty could be dangerous, so when T'Challa stood up and approached the being that had come from the cocoon, he was overly cautious, his hands raised and his feet slow but positioned in a way that would allow him to run away quickly.

The girl looked to be Amelia, not much having changed of her physically except the wings that were made entirely of her powers energy rather than being a part of her anatomy. The brunette was staring at her hands in shock, looking between the light and the darkness, as though she was seeing both for the first time in her life.

When T'Challa got closer she did finally look back up to him - making him notice for the first time that her eyes were filled entirely with a shade of black - and, noticing the way he was stood ready to attack her, she pulled a face. "Put your claws away, I'm still me," she scoffed, sounding sure enough of herself that the Panther trusted her enough to do as she said.

"With some new additions I see," he gestured towards the wings, bringing her attention to them and she looked just as perplexed and astounded as he felt.

"Uh, yeah," she mumbled, not really knowing what else to say. Amelia hadn't expected such a transformation, she'd just known from what the sentience had told her and from T'Challa's words that she needed to accept the darkness in as much as she accepted to the light. Everything else from there had been a mystery. "Let me just…" Amelia had control over her all her powers now, even the frightening darkness, so it only took her a moment of concentration before she managed to make the wings fade away. Without them on her back she somehow looked tinier.

"What happened?" He questioned, tone eager. T'Challa was sure that if his sister, Shuri, was there, then his younger sibling would be bounding the girl with numerous questions.

"I- I don't know," she shrugged her shoulders, voice slow, still clearly processing what had happened, "I just did what you said, I stopped letting the darkness control me, and I made it… submit, to me."

From another room they heard a loud crash, the noise enough to remind Amelia of the small fight happening between her boyfriend- ex-boyfriend, Bucky and her brother. It was a fight she wanted to take part in as well. Just because she'd learned to accept the darkness in her, did not mean that she was capable of forgiving Bucky for the reprehensible things he had done to her.

"What will you do now?" T'Challa asked, all excitement gone from his voice. It was the kind of question that carried with it a thousand others. Would she join the fight? Would she defend her brother or Steve? Would she kill James Buchanan Barnes?

Amelia knew what she wanted to do. Turning back to T'Challa, she looked burdened by the next _choice_ she'd have to make, wanting to ask him for some advice. He gestured with his hand that he was ready for her question and wanted to help her as best as he could, even though to Amelia the stranger turned close friend had done enough for her. "You were going to kill Bucky because of what you thought he did to your father, right?"

"Yes, I was," he admitted, "but not anymore." He bent his head downward slightly, looking at her intensely, trying to convey his regret at that decision.

"That's only because you know now that he isn't the real killer. For me, he is." She wasn't saying that she was going to follow in his previous footsteps and exterminate the metal-armed giant, but it was implied heavily in her words. As the confusion over her transformation faded, her anger and sadness returned in ten folds because Steve had still kept that information from her, and Bucky had still killed her parents and taken her to a life of pain and misery.

T'Challa decided that he did not want to tell her not to do it, it was something she would have to decide for herself.

"Go after Zemo, make sure he doesn't escape. Kill him if you want." Amelia was going to allow T'Challa the same courtesy he was giving her. It was a decision both of them would have to make on their own.

And then she left him to go on her own mission, walking into the battle a new woman. Now, Amelia Stark was a woman in control, and that made her even more dangerous.

* * *

 **A/N: FIRST OF ALL LETS ALL GIVE A BIG THANK YOU TO ASSBITCH67 WHO BETA'D THIS CHAPTER FOR ME WHICH ALLOWED ME TO GET THIS CHAPTER OUT ON TIME FOR YOU ALL! Go check out her stuff as well, tis pretty good**

 **I hope you've all enjoyed this chapter, most of it is just setting up stuff for Infinity War but I'm sure this brings up a lot of questions. All will be answered in due time.**

 **To Assbitch67, lolol well you ain't gotta worry about cliffhangers now**

 **To Sam0728, lol I think Amelia needs a good telling off for her behaviour but you're right, she does need a good hug as well. Hope this chapter wasn't too annoying and didn't disrupt the flow too much!**

 **To Pitspee, :( I'm sorry you're so sad! I wish I could say something to make you feel better or promise that the next two chapters are going to heal you a bit but... spoilers. And Amelia hasn't really taken on Artemis yet. _Yet_. And you're right, I didn't write a reaction from Steve on Amelia's suit. Guess I'll have to find somewhere to put it in IW ;) **

**To LadyAmazon, omg can I join you in the emergency bunker? Oh, would it be okay if I brought my dog though?... I just realised that if I'm in the bunker then there would be nothing to hide from, I am the puppet master right now I guess. 'She nuked them all' haha thats seeming more and more possible after this chapter. And huh, your sister sounds weirdly a lot like mine, except she didn't invite my dad, told everyone in the fiancee's family that our dad was a pedophile (I can confirm he isn't) and then cancelled the wedding and just... yeah, I don't consider that woman my sister anymore. BUT I DO WISH THAT THINGS COULD BE SOLVED BETWEEN AMELIA AND STEVE WITH GOOD FOOD AND JOKES THAT'D BE SUCH A RELAXING CHAPTER TO WRITE**

 **To The Observer 2.O, WOW that was amazing to watch, you seriously just got through so many. You're only a couple chapters away from the end as well, I hope to see you again soon. I'm glad you've enjoyed things so far except for the odd bad Amelia thing.**

 **To LoveFiction2018, I think in some ways Amelia does understand that, but she doesn't want to. Over time she's built up this moment in her head where she'd find the guy that kidnapped her and killed her, she's trying to keep that moment by denying the truth she knows.**

 **To AngelElmarlienHenning, I've never heard the saying 'the pumpkin hit the fan' before but oh my word that is a perfect description of what has just happened. Hope you enjoyed the update!**

 **To BrittStar1199, I KNOW RIGHT for the last part. Honestly, I still just want Amelia and Steve to be happy together. I want them to have their farm and stuff and just wipe their own minds but that would be bad for both their character development.**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, hope this chapter lived up to your excitement, I'm sorry if it wasn't a big fight like you wanted, that'll be coming next.**

 **To Guest, OMG! HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT!**

 **And a big thank you to everyone that read the chapter, look forward to the next one as much as I'm _not_ ^^**


	96. Chapter Ninety-Two

**CHAPTER NINETY-TWO**

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"So this was betrayal. It was like being left alone in the desert at dusk without water or warmth. It left your mouth dry and will broken. It sapped your tears and made you hollow."

― **Anna Godbersen**

* * *

Steve Rogers, a supposed fighter for justice, a man that represented righteousness, a soldier. That was what he was supposed to be. He was supposed to be a good man, that's what he'd signed up to become when he agreed to take part in the super soldier experiment.

Steve Rogers, a liar, a breaker of promises, and above all else, a breaker of hearts. He was not a good man.

He was the pin in a grenade thrown towards the Stark siblings, his only job had been to keep that bomb from going off in their faces. But he'd slipped out like sand slipped through fingers, spreading disaster to his two closest friends, to his girlfriend and almost fiance. And yet, despite knowing that he had been one of the key reasons for them being so hurt - he could have told them the truth, he could have saved them the pain they were enduring - the soldier still believed that there could be an afterward. As long as no one was killed, he had hope that maybe he could rectify the mess he'd made. Get Bucky to safety. Talk to Amelia. Try and talk to Tony.

Get Bucky to safety, that was his first mission because his best friend was the most at risk of getting killed. He had no idea that in the room next door his lover was fighting her demons all alone, something he'd always said he'd help her with. Steve had abandoned Amelia when she most needed him, but to the soldier, his decision made perfect sense and he was _sure_ once that his lover started to see things clearly then she would understand why he'd had to leave her.

The soldier didn't even think about the possibility that maybe he'd done something unforgivable, all he believed in was Amelia's loyalty to him. Perhaps it was selfish, but the soldier did not have the time to worry about such things as he chased after Tony who was pursuing Bucky.

Iron Man had him pinned to a wall and was raising his fist which had a small rocket onto it. Tony didn't care. Death was all he wanted, even if it didn't bring back his parents or give Amelia the years of life that were stolen away from her. He wanted James Buchanan Barnes _dead_.

Bucky grabbed a hold of the arm and twisted it with his own super-powered metal limb, ensuring that the rocket blasted a wall instead of at himself. A towering structure of pipeworks began to collapse on top of them, throwing the two entangled fighters down a level, twisted metal falling on top of them, sparks showering down.

"Get out of here!" Steve yelled, seeing an opportunity of escape for his friend as Tony was momentarily immobilized underneath a pile of rocks. He was recovering though so Steve's best friend had to make a quick exit, narrowly escaping another shot from Tony before disappearing into another room, leaving just the soldier and the billionaire. "It's wasn't him, Tony. Hydra had control of his mind, just like they did Amelia!" He didn't want to fight Tony because the soldier knew that it would only make his image look worse to the enraged billionaire.

"If it wasn't for him, Amelia wouldn't have been controlled!" Tony was screaming louder than he ever had before, incapable of seeing any logic. No, that was wrong. All he could see was logic, it was screaming at him, telling him that that was his one chance to avenge his parents. "Get out of my way," his second sentence was spoken much calmer, overspilling with threatening undertones because Tony did not care anymore about keeping Cap on his side. As far the billionaire was concerned, Steve was just another enemy.

The billionaire didn't wait around to hear any more of Steve's 'justifications', they were all just lies anyway. He flew up and began to fly forward, going to move past the soldier but Steve, ever the persistent nuisance, grabbed onto his leg and pulled him backwards. "It wasn't him!" Steve yelled again, one last time before forcing his shield down onto Tony's ankle, hoping to immobilize the billionaire enough for Bucky to get away and for them to talk in peace. Steve couldn't help but keep thinking that maybe if he got Tony back on his side, Amelia would forgive him faster.

After hitting enough times on Tony's ankle, the billionaire managed to wriggle free and he shot forward into the doorway that Bucky had previously used to escape. Steve set off to chase him but was stopped as an unexpected figure dropped down in front of him, landing down on one knee and sending a plume of smoke out around her. She rose up, eyeing Steve for a moment before turning to face Tony. "I want Barnes," her calm was different to Tony's calm. Whilst her brother's was just a veil to mask the seething anger that bubbled under his skin like lava in a volcano, Amelia's calm was opaque, hiding the truth deep down inside of her, the same way the Grim Reaper's cloak would mask his skeletal body.

Tony didn't respond, he didn't have any quips, or jokes, he just had one thing in mind which was vengeance. Her brother nodded at her, wondering deep down if she really would be able to fight Steve.

She raised her hand above them and send out a beam of black energy towards the roof above, making it collapse and fill in the doorway so that Steve wouldn't be able to reach Tony or Bucky from there. Turning back to face the soldier, he looked quite shocked to see her. That made sense. When he saw her last she was frozen and wide-eyed, looking like she was petrified. Then, she had a look of enraged determination angling her eyebrows, and other than that she looked completely disconnected from both the world and him. His eyes flickered to her hands that were still glowing, one hand wrapped in black flames, the other in white. She wondered if her betrayer knew what it meant, that she didn't need him anymore, that she was in control of both her darkness and light. Such thoughts filled her with pride, which was something Amelia sorely needed to cover up the festering despondency growing like rot on her heart and soul.

"Amelia-" Before he could get any more words out she lifted up her hand and threw his body against a wall, the grown man not heavy at all as long as she used just her powers to lift him all. He let out a yell of pain as pipes dug gruesomely into his back, causing a sharp pain across his spine, but he winced afterward so much that his mouth remained shut. Good. That's what Amelia wanted as she knew his words would have more of an effect on her than she'd care to admit.

Her dislike for his humongous lie did not absolve her love for him and that only made things worse for Amelia as she was trying to keep her emotions at bay. This wasn't like when Steve kissed Sharon. It wasn't a misunderstanding that would be rectified by a promise ring, especially because the word 'promise' had become entirely lost to her after Steve's betrayal.

Amelia sashayed towards him and as she walked forward she began to rise off the ground, ensuring that she would be looking down on him. "You don't get to speak right now," her voice cracked but she chose to ignore it, of course it was going to crack, it felt like her entire body was falling apart. She held up a finger in his face, "right now you're only _mission_ , soldier," because that's what he was, just a soldier, "is to listen to me when I say that I am going to go after the Winter Soldier," because that's all Bucky was to her in that moment, "and you're going to fucking stay here, because I'm asking you to, and you owe me."

He looked at her silently, knowing her well enough to see the tears beginning to form behind her black eyes. Steve wished he could, but she wasn't the most important thing in his life, she couldn't be because he had a world he needed to take care of before he even thought of taking care of her. "I- I can't," he admitted, ashamed, just as upset as she was. The force crushing him seemed to get stronger, but not enough to do any damage to him. Amelia could never truly hurt him. "I know you're upset but-"

"I'm not upset Steve," her voice rose a few octaves, "I'm fucking hurt, and _you_ put me here!" That's what she wanted him to understand, because from all she'd observed it didn't seem like Steve was even aware of just how much he'd hurt her.

Steve had come to her as an angel, offering her a hand and helping her fly into the light, away from Pierce and Hydra and the Winter Soldier, away from malicious intentions and deceitful words. Or so she thought. Amelia had trusted him. Despite how broken and bruised she'd been, she managed to put faith in him and it was the biggest and hardest thing she'd ever done. And learning that the entire time that they'd been together, he had been harbouring the truth of who her kidnapper was, breaking the promise he'd made to never things from her.

Amelia was doing exactly what the soldier was by thinking that though. She was ignoring the fact that she'd also broken their promise, constantly keeping her demons internal, and never having spilled about their child.

Their child. She hadn't even thought about the ball of light inside of her since learning of the secret, her mind too busy concentrating on demolishing Bucky.

"I'm sorry," he professed, and god did she want to believe him like she had when Sharon had kissed him. But no. Things had permanently changed between them.

"You're just sorry you got caught." Amelia had so many other words to say to him. Angry words, desperate words, anguished words, _loving_ words. But if she remained there to tell him all of the things going through her head then she would miss the opportunity to finally stare into the eyes of the man who made her think of broken bones and dark rooms as she stabbed him in the heart. As well as, perhaps, give the Winter Soldier an opportunity to escape in case Tony wasn't able to catch him. She'd seen how Cap had hit her brother's ankle and damaged the suit, there was no doubt in her mind that would affect the way their battle ended.

Before she did that though, she needed to make sure that Steve would not disturb them. His influence over her was too strong, Amelia realised that finally. She'd always just followed him without thinking over the results, concentrating too much on ensuring that she remained by his side because he was meant to be the only good in her life, something she needed to hold onto. Clearly that wasn't true.

She held out her hand that was covered in white and behind him pieces of the metal began to creak, the wall breaking into pieces that wrapped around limbs and his waist, trapping Steve a few feet off the ground.

"Wait, please, Amelia! He doesn't deserve to _die_!" Steve begged, twisting his body, trying to free himself from the cage Amelia had made.

The soldier's words remained useless though because Amelia had an easy argument: her mother and father didn't deserve to die, and she didn't deserve to have her life taken when she was just a child. The world wasn't fair, so it was up to her to make it that way. Her plan was to kill the Winter Soldier, to take back that life he stole from her.

She exited the room through the barrier she had created, black and white wrapping around the blocks of stone she'd made to fall. Amelia made them hover whilst she walked through the opening. Behind her the stones returned to where they were, blocking off the hallway from Steve as she knew that he'd find some way to get out of her trap. He'd stopped a helicopter from flying off, she was sure he'd be able to push himself free from the rusted metals keeping him to the wall. Still, it would take him some time, and that was all she'd need.

The hallway that she wandered down led to a tower that echoed with the sound of metal making contact with metal. Looking up, she watched her brother struggling to reach the top of the tower as he couldn't fly properly with one of his boots down. Bucky was making his way to the top where a hatch had been placed. There were multiple platforms that Bucky made us of, jumping higher and higher but it was still taking him a long time on foot.

It took Amelia seconds to float upwards to where he was, her brother slowly but surely making his way up behind her as well. Bucky looked at her wide eyed, clearly fearing for his life. Amelia wondered if he was seeing what she always saw whenever Hydra would make her fight the Winter Soldier. A cold stare that only promised death.

He felt a force wrapping around his throat, a strong hand pushing him back until he was against the wall, crushing his windpipe. Amelia floated towards him and pulled from her pants a long knife that was as black as her eyes.

"You don't even remember it, do you?" She cocked her head slowly to the side, merciless gaze like a thousand knives pricking his skin. Amelia felt like it was a cruel joke, that the man who had caused so much pain got to forget it all whilst she was cursed with forever having to relive each second. It was unfair. "You probably don't even remember them." Cursed tears slipped from her eyes but her expression remained resilient, her tears white fury that she could not keep contained.

Bucky shook his head, only able to move it slightly because of the grip around his throat. "I remember all of them," he choked out, unable to keep a tear falling from his own eye as he faced his victim, acknowledging that every little, broken, piece of her was because of what he'd done.

And it was for that reason, that he did not even fight her as she shoved the knife into his chest. She drove it through his flesh quickly, taking no pleasure in the action, simply taking out all of her anger on to him.

Tony paused on the platform beneath them, content with letting his sister kill the murderer as she'd suffered most by his hands.

Pain burst through his entire body and his mouth fell open as an empty scream passed his lips. Amelia looked into his face, she looked into his eyes, but she was not seeing Bucky, she was seeing the Winter Soldier who had killed her parents, taken her away from a normal life, and spent years destroying her.

Amelia Stark had won against her executioner, for the first time in her life, after twenty-five years, she'd finally defeated the Winter Soldier. Despite no longer being a part of Hydra anymore, she still expected to feel a sense of accomplishment. She didn't.

She kept her hand on the blade, willing it to go deeper into his body, willing it to tear through every possible organ on the man.

The brunette was about to do exactly that, but all of a sudden her body was pushed backwards by a shield. Amelia had been concentrating so much on that knife and what she could do with it if she wished to, that she did not notice Captain America entering the tower and climbing the platforms until he could jump and shove her back. She fell down onto the platforms below, so disoriented by the sudden attack that she didn't have the time to stop herself falling mid air. It had clearly been a calculated attack anyway as he'd shoved her in the direction of a platform the brunette would have struggled to miss.

Seeing the attack, Amelia's brother tried his best to fly up, aiming out one hand so he could shoot at Steve but the soldier responded to the attack quickly, putting up his shield and sending the repulsor beam flying back to Tony.

That afforded the soldier and his friend a few seconds of peace. "Are you okay?" Steve questioned, trepidation wavering his tone as he stared at the knife poking out of Bucky's chest.

The metal-armed giant looked down at it blankly, the shock of the attack fading and confusion covering his face. To Steve's surprise, Bucky simply reached out and pulled it from his chest. With the knife still in his hand, he looked over to Steve, "I- I'm fine… she didn't- she didn't hit anything important…" The both of them were confused by that. Amelia was a trained assassin, she'd known where to put the knife if she wanted to do a deadly blow.

Perhaps if they'd had more time to think about it, then they also could have discussed the fact that Amelia had left Steve in a trap that was incredibly easy for the super soldier to get out. Maybe it wouldn't have been for any ordinary human, but of course Amelia knew that he was stronger and more resilient than that.

Steve looked between the two siblings, Tony already beginning to get back up. "He's not going to stop," Steve announced, pushing onto Bucky's shoulder, "go!" The metal-armed giant nodded in agreement before taking off, his chest aching but not enough to keep him from still climbing up the platforms to reach the hatch.

Tony started to soar upward again, refusing to let Bucky get away whilst Amelia remained on the platform, pretending like she was catching her breath when really she was thinking about what they'd all become. In just the short space of thirty minutes, Bucky had become the Winter Soldier, Amelia had become AS09, Steve had become a liar, and Tony had become desperate. They weren't themselves anymore. Just the darkest parts of themselves that had been hooked like basic fish.

The soldier grabs an object off of his belt but it goes unnoticed by Tony as he shoots his body upward, aiming to surpass Steve and reach Bucky but of course the blond soldier wasn't about to let that happen. The device he'd caught turned out to be a wire which he wrapped around Tony's neck so that could pull him downwards, the pair falling down to the end of the tower.

Amelia saw this and immediately panicked, creating a black shard in the air with a newfound swiftness, sending it flying so that she cut through the wire and stop Steve from banging her brother around. Though in a suit, he was still just an ordinary human being who wouldn't be able to survive as big a fall as Steve could. Her brother landed noisily on a platform much closer to the floor and both of them looked up to see that Bucky had reached the top. The hatchet was opening and soon the Winter Soldier would be free.

Tony looked towards his sister but she was distracted, keeping her eye on Steve. He had a grim realisation that she was actually checking to make sure that Steve had landed, he just hoped that it was something she did out of instinct and not because she still cared for the betrayer. At least her watchful gaze ended up being useful as she used her powers to stop the shield that Steve had thrown towards him. Knowing that his sister had his back, he concentrated solely on shooting Bucky down. He got out another rocket, aiming upwards, expecting his suit to do the rest of the work and make sure that the rocket made its target.

"Targeting system's knackered, boss," Friday reported.

"I'm eyeballing it," he replied back quickly, his helmet retracting as he tried his best to aim. He shut one eye, focusing on Bucky whose hand was reaching out towards the hatch, and then Tony let the rocket loose. It found its mark. The rocket flew forward and hit the worn hinges to the hatch, destroying them amidst an explosion of raging red fire. The lid came crashing down, the violence of its landing knocking Bucky backwards and he landed on a lower platform, right next to Amelia.

They shared a look and the brunette instantly began to move, raising her hands to try and use her powers to immobilise him but Bucky was one step ahead, grabbing a pipe so that he could swing it towards her. He hit her, right in the chest. She tumbled down, only just managing to reach the edge of the platform, hanging onto it with just a couple of fingers. It almost looked like Bucky was about to reach out and pull her back up but Tony arrived then. They dueled for a moment, both taking swings at each other but Iron Man managed to rip the pipe from his grip.

Tony pushed Bucky against a wall once he was defenseless, wrapping his arms around the metal-armed giant. Bucky tried to grab at Iron Man's hands wrapped around his shoulders but he barely had the strength as the suit locked Tony's limbs into place.

Both looked towards Amelia who had that same empty expression on her tear stained face, the brunette not realising the way she was breaking everyone's heart in that room.

"Do you even remember them?" Tony questioned, feeling the same curse that Amelia felt clenching her heart. He remembered all too well the family he'd lost, like a song stuck in the back of his head at all times. Only it wasn't a melodic tune, it was a scream, over and over and _over_ again.

Bucky looked back over to Amelia, repeating his earlier words, "I remember all of them." Of course neither believed him, they didn't want to. They didn't want to see Bucky as a broken human like they were, because then they might care for the monster that had ruined what their family could have been. The billionaire carried Bucky into the middle of the tower so that he didn't have anything to put his feet on, making him even less capable of putting up a fight.

Another figure jumped into their fight, Steve once again launching himself after climbing back up so that he could make the billionaire stumble. They all went crashing to the ground, Tony letting go of Bucky during the fall. Amelia decided to join them, letting go of the edge and falling backwards so she could gracefully land beside Bucky. Though the metal-armed giant stood up, he didn't look like he was ready for a fight. "I should have told you," he confessed meagerly.

"Yes, you should have." She growled, throwing a punch against his nose, making him take a step back, "and so should Steve," the brunette threw out another punch until he fell down beside Captain America's shield. From the corner of her eye, she saw Tony and Steve fighting. She watched the metal-armed giant grab it and throw it over towards Steve, yelling out his name and giving it to the soldier just in time as Tony sent out a shot. She hadn't stopped him, Bucky took note of that.

But as soon as the shield was out of his hand and they both knew Steve had a weapon in the fight, Amelia had thrown herself on top of him, beginning to throw more and more punches.

She started to scream.

Her fists became bloody and she wasn't sure who the blood belonged to as his face became covered in the red liquid as well.

It wasn't Bucky she was beating, it was the Winter Soldier. She was defeating him over and over again in her head, changing the course of every fight they'd once had so it didn't end with her having a broken body but him having a bloody face. There would be no naughty chamber after this fight, just him unconscious and immobilised. She would be _victorious_. She would be the _winner_. She would be the _survivor_.

Her hits turned wild, becoming slaps as her fist ached, and then they slowed. And she was crying again. When had she started crying again? It was more than just crying though. It was the kind of desolate sobbing that came from a person drained of all hope.

That's what she was. A person without hope because Steve had betrayed her, broken her trust, become a different man. Taken away the only chance she'd ever had of a happier life. Even the child in her stomach was meaningless to her in that moment. As cruel as those thoughts were, they flashed in her mind repeatedly, making her wretches even fouler. Steve and Tony were too busy fighting, but Bucky was there. Bucky _heard_ her. He understood her.

She continued to slap at him pathetically, doing no damage. She'd already done enough, his entire face a mess of blood and protruding bones.

"Why did you do it?" She asked pathetically, her words barely audible through the hiccups and sobs. "Why did you take me to them? I was just a child."

"I-" he was struggling to breathe, hacking up the blood that was overflowing his mouth, "I did- I didn't take you to them."

"Don't fucking lie to me," Amelia spat through clenched teeth. "How- How could you do that to me?" Bucky couldn't speak anymore so he just shook his head from side to side, but that simple action wasn't enough of an explanation. He seemed to start crying too, his chest heaving as he looked up to the girl he'd broken. A girl he had more of a bond with than most people knew.

He just wished that she could learn the truth, and so did she. And maybe it was because they both wished for the same thing at the exact same moment, or maybe it was the sentience interfering again, or maybe it was because Amelia had a bad habit of accidentally seeing into Bucky's memories, but as the brunette moved to slap him again her vision was filled with a flash of white light.

The light remained for only a second, before fading and showing her a familiar scene. There was a battered car in front of her and she was stood by her it, one hand reaching inside of the vehicle, her fingers wrapped around the neck of a tiny child.

No, it wasn't her, it was Bucky. She was seeing everything that happened from his perspective.

Amelia Stark was about to get the answer she'd always wanted, and she was terrified of what the truth would be.

* * *

 **A/N: Another chapter beta'd by the marvelous Assbitch67**

 **To rosequartz121, tbf this chapter was alright, I forgot that I split chapter 92 into two parts so really it's the next chapter that I'm dreading, sorry for building up this chapter when it ain't that bad lol. Did this chapter help bring up any theories? Any guesses as to what happened in Bucky's memories?**

 **To Assbitch67, I hope the cat videos and cheeto puffs helped, but then, of course, I sent you the last chapter so...**

 **To Guest, EXACTLY ISN'T SHE JUST SUCH A BADASS WHO NEEDS TO THINK MORE HIGHLY OF HERSELF**

 **To Pitspee, I hope for those things too fam. And I think the Sentience made T'Challa into such a big deal because they could see what help he would be in that timeline. Whether T'Challa had lived a privileged upbringing or not, he'd gone through a similar pain to what Amelia was going through and could therefore provide Amelia with the advice she needed in that moment. Does that make sense?**

 **To Faora, they were pretty distracted to have a reaction, I'm sorry. Another reader made me realise I also didn't include a reaction from Steve towards her new suit, so I shall add this to the list of things I need to include in the next part.**

 **To LadyAmazon, that final form thing had me super laughing, I believe it is as far as her powers go. Though she might have discovered some new capabilities in the next part, maybe even finally started to explore her telepathic abilities ;) AND I'M SORRY BUT I'VE NEVER PLAYED KINGDOM HEARTS BUT I HEAR ITS PRETTY GOOD SO IM TAKING IT AS A COMPLIMENT? AND ALSO YEY MY DOG SQUIDGY BARKS A LIL BUT ITS JUST TO TRY AND SEEM LIKE A BIG DOG SHE'S TOO FLUFFY AND DOPEY TO ACTUALLY DO ANY DAMAGE I SWEAR**

 **To Sam0728, how rude of you to assume they'll break up, has Amelia's dedication to Steve in the past few chapters not suggested that she'd dedicate her entire life to that man?**

 **To The Observer 2.O, hell yeah! And we'll just have to wait and see ;) Alas, it does not suggest that she has a dark Pheonix in her, that word was not meant to suggest it, it was just a metaphor lol. HOWEVER, Idk if it's obvious and I feel like I've stated this before, but I take a lot of influence from the Dark Pheonix who, for the first few years of my life, was a very heavy influence for most of my story characters. I find the idea of hidden, destructive, powers very appealing and is a trope found in a lot of my old stories. Plus, Jean is just straight up a badass and someone that inspired me whilst growing up.**

 **To BrittStar1199, nah, I've already promised groveling Steve lol. I absolutely love reading your reviews because you always say the exact shit Amelia needs to be told. She'll learn it eventually, as the writer I have the power to enforce that lesson onto her lololol**

 **To AngelElmarlienHenning, no groveling in this chapter, we've still got to get through this fight but hopefully, we'll have everyone survive so that there can be groveling!**

 **And a big thank you to everyone that read the chapter!**


	97. Chapter Ninety-Three

**CHAPTER NINETY-THREE**

* * *

"It's not just children who need heroes."

― **Tamora Pierce**

* * *

 _The Winter Soldier's hand tightened harshly around the three-year-olds throat as they tried to cry out. He didn't care much for such a meager sound. He didn't care for anything, just the mission; his had been to get the serum from the back of that car and exterminate all the people inside of it. Admittedly, he hadn't been expecting a child to be there but it was no problem. He'd killed children before. The one whose pulse was pounding against his iron grip didn't mean anything to him._

 _Just a mission. That was all that mattered to the Winter Soldier because it was all he had. It was all that filled his mind up, the rest of the space filled with exactly that, just space. An empty mind fuelled his empty heart._

 _He was sure the child was moments away from ceasing to be alive. His hand was becoming soaked by the child's tears but it shouldn't have mattered because his fist was already smeared by Howard Stark's blood. In a last ditch attempt to get the hand off of her, Amelia threw up her tiny hand and meagerly slapped it against his. The Winter Soldier was surprised at the shock that spilled throughout his body, the one-second contact brimming the metal-armed giant with a sensation he felt extremely cautious towards. It was like he lost control of his entire body for a second, his arm slowly receding away from her already bruised flesh and his mind waking up._

 _That was the best way he could describe it. Waking up. Before her touch he saw a mission, and then after, he saw a child that was innocent in everything. It concerned him because he wasn't supposed to care like that. She'd clearly done something to him. Called forth a part of him that he was incapable of remembering fully. She'd made him feel._

 _He hated it._

 _As he looked down at her again and saw the purple bruises dotting her throat like tiny galaxies kissing her skin he could only feel contempt for himself. His eyes strayed over to the two bodies in the front seat, the child's parents. He'd killed them. The child didn't have anyone and that thought saddened him so much because he was lonely. Painfully lonely. The type of lonely where even though you don't want to be, you have to be. And he had just made her like that._

 _The child was beginning to sob loudly, calling out for a mother and father that she would never see again._

" _I- I'm sorry," his voice came out hoarse as more dread rose up inside of him, mind begrudged by guilt, heart begrudged by a sense of responsibility. "I'm so sorry." He knew nothing of children other than that they were the easiest to kill. The Winter Soldier didn't even know if the child could understand what he was saying, but he made a sudden decision to help her, to go against his training and try to save the child._

 _His trepidation was making him panic and stumble slightly, he tried to get the child from the car, picking up a discarded toy wolf that was on the floor in the hopes that it would stop the child from crying. She seemed to become distracted by it enough to stop screaming though the girl continued to sniffle. He didn't blame her for crying. He would too if he was that small, all alone in the world, unable to take care of himself, having no one left to take care of him._

 _Despite still being confused by the side of him the girl had managed to awaken with just a touch (it felt more like she'd reached into his mind and blown dust off of an old book in his brain) the Winter Soldier had made the conscious decision to try and give that little girl a chance at a life._

 _Once the Winter Soldier had the girl placed securely locked in his grip, he turned around to the security camera. He would have had to shoot it anyway to make sure that no one knew it was able to see him killing the parents and getting the super soldier serum from their car boot, but when he shot it then, he was doing it to ensure that when Hydra found and confiscated the tape, they wouldn't be able to learn which way he'd left with the child._

 _The small girl instantly became shaken by the loud noise, starting to scream again and he did his best to try and calm her back down, cursing himself for not being more careful. He would be though. He promised, not verbally, but he promised to protect that child with his life. He owed her it._

* * *

 _Three days had passed and the Winter Soldier had been doing a pretty good job at keeping the child healthy. He'd had to steal a wallet off a passing stranger in order to get food and nappies as well as motel rooms. The motel rooms were a necessity seen as the only transport he had was a motorbike. He wanted to steal a car but didn't want to draw attention. Hydra was everywhere, they had eyes everywhere. Any wrong move and he'd be spotted with the child._

 _He knew easily what the outcome of being spotted would be. The child would get killed, and he would have failed at protecting her. The Winter Soldier knew he'd returned to Hydra once his journey with the small girl was over, he'd taken the super soldier serums so that he wouldn't return less handed (he hoped they'd take it easier on him, but he knew they wouldn't). All he needed to do was get the child to an orphanage and then she wouldn't be a victim to Hydra; Maybe she was even young enough to not remember the murder of her parents, then she really would be free. Right?_

" _Wendy," the child cooed, reaching out towards him from the motel's bed._

 _A smile that didn't seem to fit onto his face stretched out his lips as he returned to her bedside with some food, a paper bowl, and a plastic spoon. "I'm here, Wolf."_

 _On their first night in a motel room, he'd realised how inconvenient it was not having names. Normally the Winter Soldier would never speak but he'd had no choice when trying to take care of her as he had to soothe her. But he didn't know her name, so he started calling her Wolf seen as that was the toy she had, it was the only thing he knew about her. After that, he'd tried to introduce himself to her, but he didn't have a name either, he just had what Hydra called him._

 _The child refused to call him the Winter Soldier though, mainly because she couldn't say them. Wolf somehow managed to breed Wendy from 'Winter' and that was the only name that stuck, despite him on multiple occasions correcting it to 'Winter'._

 _She eagerly opened her mouth, awaiting the food. The Winter Soldier - or, Wendy - knew he wasn't taking care of her right, he didn't even know how to really take care of himself anymore but he was doing his best and it would be over soon anyway. The following day would be the day he freed her, and then he'd go back to Hydra, and then he'd forget about everything that had happened, he'd forget about Wolf._

 _For some reason, the thought saddened him. He'd grown quite attached to the small child despite her impromptu fits of tears and constant needing of care. It was her innocence, her purity. The sight of such an untainted soul was something new to him. Wolf was a star in a sky that had been permanently black for Wendy. Even so, he wasn't a selfish man, he wasn't going to let his desire for such a starlight soul stop him from returning to the darkness that he knew he belonged to. She was a star, a rare occurrence, one of those comets people on Earth would only ever get to see every hundred years, so it would have been a regretful mistake if he skipped over that opportunity to witness the gift of nature._

 _If only he'd gotten the time that he craved with the ball of light._

 _Because he'd been traveling so slowly, it took very little time for the Hydra agents to find him. And when they did, they were merciless._

 _They kicked down the door to the Winter Soldier's room as he was putting her to bed, numerous soldiers filtering into the room. He probably would have been able to fight them off, had three soldiers not ripped the child from his arms. Immediately he bowed down, begging them to not hurt her, trying to yell over their yells as they screamed for him to keep his hands down and stay on the floor._

" _That's enough," Alexander Pierce entered the room, his presence emanating in the room the same way pain would blister its way through all senses. The leader walked further into the room until he was stood between the fallen Winter Soldier and the crying child twisting their body within the arms of a masked soldier._

 _His head kept flipping between the two, Pierce trying to understand the situation he'd wandered on. What he'd been expecting was that the Winter Soldier had just remembered Adelaine again and was acting out. Clearly, that wasn't the case and it was something a lot more… complicated. He recognised who the child was, Stark's daughter. "How could you do this to us? How could you betray our cause like this?"_

" _I- I wasn't betraying you," the Winter Soldier tried to argue despite feeling crushed beneath the ten soldiers that had all stood around him to ensure that he wouldn't get up. He could have if he wanted to, Pierce must have known that._

" _You never came home," the Hydra head argued back. He stepped closer to the child, inspecting its condition. It had a fading bruise around its neck, the only sign that the super soldier had actually attempted to kill the child but his heart must have been swayed. It wouldn't have been the first time that happened._

" _I was trying to take her to an orphanage," the Winter Soldier was pleading, his information on Alexander Pierce skewered as the man that he met was different to the reality. The Pierce he met was dedicated to a cause and just wanted Bucky's help with achieving it, the Pierce he met was a man who saw the Winter Soldier as someone lost and looking for a purpose as well, the Pierce he met gave him a mission to concentrate on so he didn't become disrupted and turned insane by the emptiness inside his mind and heart. But that was not the man Pierce really was. Pierce was a sadist, a killer, ruthlessness dressed in a grey suit. In reality, Pierce was the kind of man who didn't care about anyone, not even an innocent little kid. "She's just a child, she hasn't hurt anyone."_

" _She was not your mission." He snapped back, rushing over towards the man, taking two wide strides and then slapping him across the face. Not a punch, not a proper hit, he wasn't worthy of such a thing. The Winter Soldier gave no reaction, just blankly stared up at his boss, willing him to not lay a single finger on Wolf. "Your **mission** , was to kill everyone in that car!" He spat as he yelled, a pointed finger rising over towards the screaming child, he didn't seem at all affected by the sound of a crying child. The super soldier continued to still stare at Pierce emptily, and he hated it, he hated feeling like he had no power over the man. There was an easy way for him to solve that issue. The solution was struggling within the arms of one of his soldiers as they spoke. He turned back to the mewling child with a sinister expression curving his lips upward slightly. "Kill her." Pierce wanted the Winter Soldier to suffer for his insolence. Wanted the super soldier to watch as the child he'd done so much for died. That was his punishment for betraying the cause._

 _The soldier holding the child threw her down to the bed, glad to be rid of her after she'd repeatedly kicked and hit them. Then they pulled out a gun and aimed it towards the wailing girl, heart desiring to shut her up more than anything else in their entire life. Bucky's eyes widened, emotion flooding onto his face like water breaking through a damn. "No! No!" The man cocked his gun, and he knew then that there was no other option, no other way to save her. He didn't want to kill the light. "She has powers!"_

 _Immediately Alexander raised his hand up to stop the soldier from shooting the child, his curiosities peaked the moment the Winter Soldier mentioned powers. Enhanced individuals were unheard of anymore, whilst the public might not know, Pierce knew all about super-powered beings. He'd been searching for one of his own for years, but he hadn't expected one to just drop into his lap which is why he turned to look at Bucky with apprehension burning in his gaze. "What?"_

" _She's an enhanced individual, with mind control powers," the words tumbled down his lips as the soldier slowly began to realise what he'd done. At the time it had seemed like he had no other option, he was just trying to prevent her from getting killed._

" _If you're lying to me-"_

" _I'm not, I tried to kill her and then she touched me, and all of a sudden I didn't want to kill her, I wanted to protect her," the Winter Soldier continued, sounding pained, he felt pained. The realisations just kept repeatedly hitting him. He'd given her to Pierce, to a life like his, he was supposed to protect her and he'd failed at even that. In the end, all he was good for doing was killing people. "She could be of great use to our cause."_

" _And if she's not, we will kill her. And you." Pierce wanted to believe the soldier's story, so excited by the prospect of having another enhanced individual to add to his collection. A psychic enhanced as well, it was a dream come true. He'd have been lying if he said that the fact that the girl was a child didn't sway him even more. She was a clean slate, a mind ready to pulled apart and twisted until she became the perfect daughter for him. So many devious plans went through his mind on how he'd make Wolf into another mindless weapon like the Winter Soldier. His grin of excitement could not be contained. "Expect punishment for this," he said after clearing his throat, turning back to the Winter Soldier who only nodded, having been expecting punishment ever since he left the car wreck with the child. "Take him back to the base and reset him." Reset, fear shocked violently through his body but he did not show it. Not because he didn't want to, but because he couldn't._

 _The ten soldier's all crowding around him began to lift him up and the Winter Soldier allowed them to, acting docile as it was the only way he could keep her alive. Though he didn't know if that was what he'd done. He knew better than anyone that just because a person was physically alive, that didn't mean they weren't dead._

 _Turning his head back, he only saw a small amount of that room between the multitudes of heads circling him. He saw the floor, a stained cream carpet, and a toy wolf laid on it, abandoned._

* * *

Amelia pulled her hand away from his cheek as though she'd touched fire, white pain coursing through her body as the truth hit her. At first, she didn't want to even accept it as truth, but there was no denying what she'd seen. Her vision that she'd gotten from Bucky when they were inside Hydra's helicarriers had been real, and so had that one.

He'd tried saving her? He'd thought he was saving her? Did that make up for everything? No. It didn't. Bucky had still killed her parents and still allowed Pierce to take her under his demented wing. But she'd also felt that guilt and it was horrible, it was absolutely _unbearable_. The Winter Soldier couldn't even look at his own hands, and he did everything he could to make sure that he rarely ever touched the child, wanting to avoid hurting her any more than he already had.

The truth, as painful as it might have been for Amelia, was that the Winter Soldier had been trying to _help_ her. His mission had been to take her to an orphanage, to give her the life she deserved, to not end it before it even started for her.

Bucky stared wide-eyed at the girl, his head aching as it had the last time she'd pulled a memory to the forefront of his mind. Amelia was holding onto her hand that had created the connection, as though the limb was actually wounded when in actually it was her heart which felt as though it had been sliced open. Either way, she didn't look like she was going to make another attack on him so he used that opportunity to jump up and go assist Steve in his battle against Iron Man. Bucky's mission then was to get Steve free to go and talk to Amelia, something the soldier really should have done from the start. She needed him then more than ever.

Her world had fallen apart twice in the space of ten minutes, she needed to have the one thing that had made sense to her. Of course, Steve didn't make sense to her anymore, not after his lie had been revealed.

She was locked among rushing thoughts, like a river in a storm, foaming thoughts crashing against the walls of her mind, trying their best to escape but they were all locked inside. Amelia felt locked inside her own mind as well. It, _he_ , nothing, made any logical sense anymore. Even with her newfound hold of the darkness within, it didn't mean that such negativity had no effect on her anymore. Steve had lied to her. Bucky had lied to her. Had everyone?

Even though she had clarity, her heart was still becoming more and more fractured, breaking apart until there was nothing left to break.

The clarity of the situation was simple: she'd just been _unlucky_. Bucky had tried his best to get her to an orphanage but it was to no avail and that wasn't entirely his fault. He'd been mind controlled, the few seconds before her child self had touched him revealing to Amelia that Bucky had literally been chained up inside of his own mind as his body obeyed all the orders Hydra had given him. He'd had no control. She'd known that from the very start really, but it was easier to be angry at him when she'd ignored the fact. The brunette could no longer do that after experiencing it first hand. Hydra was who they should have blamed from the very start.

Zemo had pulled on their most reactive nerves, knowing exactly what button he'd needed to press in order to get them all fighting one another. And that was what he'd been aiming for the entire time. To create a fracture that could never recover. It was why he'd sent Rebecca before executing his own plan, so that he could create cracks in Steve and Amelia's relationship as they would have been the hardest to destroy even with the reveal of who'd kidnapped her and Steve's knowledge. Though, she doubted that Zemo had even known about Steve's prior wisdom on the situation.

There it was, the thing she'd been missing. But it was there in front of her, like a shining gold medal reflecting the beams and blinding her eyes, Zemo's victory. He'd broken the Avenger's apart, caused friends and lovers to fight, to _kill_ each other. To send themselves into the same grave that Zemo's family was in.

 _Oh god,_ she thought, hand going over her mouth as a sob escaped her lips. The psychic was in utter turmoil, feeling the loss of everything thrown at her in that one second. Her relationship with Steve, their family that had broken apart, everything bold and beautiful that the Avengers had spent years forming together defeated by a man without any weapons, just a truth that should never have seen the light of day because it was not a truth anybody wanted. It was a darkness that existed, but Amelia did not know if it was a darkness which would help reveal any light.

Steve, Tony, and Bucky were all fighting a short way from her. Steve and Bucky seemed to have the upper hand, their punches landing on Iron Man and the shield being thrown between them.

"Stop," Amelia tried to call out to them, knowing despite the contempt she felt towards Steve and Bucky (even with the truth revealed, an ember was still sparked inside of her stomach because his hands had done it, as much as her hands had killed all those people) that their fighting was a tool being used against them. Her cry came out weak though, her voice hoarse and strained, far too quiet for them to hear. The brunette shuffled closer onto her knees, above the fighting trio on top of a platform. "Stop!" She tried again, but no matter how loud she screamed they just wouldn't listen to her, all they could hear was the sound of their fists connecting.

Tony sent out a shot towards Steve which had him falling backwards and crashing into the wall. Bucky decided to make the billionaire pay for that, punching Tony and grabbing the iron man's own fist before it would hit him. They trade punches, all the while Bucky was getting him closer and closer to a wall. Iron Man released an energy beam but Bucky just shoved the firing gloved hand away from him and then seconds later he had Tony pinned against a wall, the billionaire unable to comprehend for a moment how he'd gotten there but it didn't matter, Bucky's metal hand was beginning to dig into his chest, gripping the glowing core of the Iron Man suit.

Amelia couldn't just stand and watch the fight anymore, not wanting her brother to end up dead. She didn't want anyone dead and so she decided that she simply wasn't going to allow it. No one was going to die that day. Not on her watch.

But there was one person she hadn't been watching close enough.

As the girl slid her way down to where the trio were, she began to run towards where Tony and Bucky were, her arm raised and her mouth open so that she could yell out a demand but her brother had already sent out an attack of his own. From his chest, he sent out a radiating blast of energy that knocked Bucky backwards, his metal arm eradicated. The metal-armed giant's body collided with Amelia, sending her down to the floor as well.

Her eyes connected with Bucky and then the ex-assassin looked to his arm, both dazed and alarmed to find that it wasn't there anymore. He hated himself for feeling loss towards the missing limb because it meant that he'd become used to having Hydra's machine attached to him. Bucky looked towards Amelia, seeing the tears in his eyes, and for a second feeling actual hope in his heart because he saw the same care he'd seen burning in the brunette's eyes when she was a child and would call him 'Wendy'. She moved to reach out towards him but her brother sent another blast at the super soldier, knocking Bucky down completely.

Steve moved over towards the two, going to check to make sure both his lover and best friend were okay but Tony got in the way, not even thinking about his sister because he still believed they were fighting for the same cause. Revenge.

Tony shot at Steve and the super soldier raised his shield and changed his direction towards the billionaire, shield raised. He was going to take down Tony. He didn't care anymore about keeping the peace. He'd lost his sanity just as Amelia and Tony had, all thanks to Zemo.

And it seemed Amelia was the only one who was conscious of that fact. There was nothing that would get through to them, no words loud enough to cease their fighting. It was rage against rage, fire against fire. The world and everyone in it had become unimportant as all that mattered was their fight.

But there was one thing, Amelia realised, that would still be important to the two of them. _Her_.

Steve had reached close enough to Tony to cause the billionaire to realise a stream of energy blast at him, but the energy simply bounced off of Cap's vibranium shield. It hit neither of them, but it did go through the stone exterior. The soldier continued to push his way forward, cornering Tony against the wall much like how Bucky had. And he was destroying Tony, his moves urged on only by the sight of the Iron Man hurting his best friend and his lover. Old flames of rage burnt brightly in him, the soldier using every second he'd spent furious with the billionaire through their time together to fuel his punches.

"Please, stop! Stop it!" Amelia continued to cry out uselessly, her last attempt but still, neither of them listened to her. Neither of them wanted her to even be there in that fight. Maybe she shouldn't have been.

It looked like Steve was about to win, and in some ways, Amelia would have been okay with that because she knew it would be easier to talk the soldier down than it would her brother. But then, right before a finishing blow, Tony grabbed a hold of Cap's shield. The mask covering Tony's face making him seem calmer than he probably was acting inside of his armor. There was a second where all of them looked in wonderment at the surprise move, and Tony utilised Cap's clear shock to start attacking again.

The shield in Steve's hand was shot away. The soldier tried to throw a punch but Tony countered it, shooting him in the stomach and sending Steve flying. Tony flew his way back over, the two trading punches once more. Tony used the thruster on his palm to send his elbow hurling into Steve's face, knocking all of the soldier's senses for a moment.

Amelia had another phaser start to fire up, Tony's hand raised up to Steve's chest.

She was the only one they'd care about anymore, the only thing that could stand between them.

So she did exactly that. The brunette rushed to her feet and charged over, slipping between the two and raising up her hands. "Sto-" Her yell to make them ceasefire was cut off as Tony could do nothing to stop the energy shot despite every single bone in his body clenching the second her figure moved into his eyesight.

He'd shot her. Directly on the _stomach_.

Amelia released a cough, her hands immediately going to her belly, her ears immediately searching for that familiar heartbeat. She fell into Steve's arms and he caught her. The soldier kneeled on to the floor so he could lay her down. Their eyes connected, dark brown connecting with blue, the night meeting the ocean. Tears had sprung into her eyes, and though she opened her mouth, her words were stuck in her throat.

The sight was enough to turn Steve's entire body into fire. Tony had hurt Amelia. _His_ Amelia. No one was allowed to do that.

The soldier charged once more towards the billionaire, releasing a yell of the purest kind of rage. He lifted Tony upward, carrying the billionaire's entire body over his head for a second before dropping the man back down to the floor. Steve rushed to get on top of him, bringing his fists down mercilessly. He wanted to hurt Tony, more than he'd ever wanted to hurt anybody his entire life.

Steve grabbed his shield and began to throw it down on Tony's head, breaking the mask into pieces. The soldier raised it up even after the mask was gone, and Tony saw for a short time his friends face in perfect clarity. Steve Rogers was not Captain America in that moment, he was just a man that had watched the one he loved get hurt in a fight she did not belong in. Tony was sure that the man was going to kill him, and so did Steve.

Amelia, who had been incapable of doing anything other than searching futility for her child's heartbeat, saw the scene. And when she looked at Steve's eyes, she recognised it clearly, the intent to kill. It was all she'd seen in the mirror for the first twenty-five years of her life. That was who he'd become, and she couldn't help but blame herself. "No!" Her scream resonated through the room, and for a second it seemed like her soldier had not heard it, but in the last moment, as he brought down the shield, he threw it into Tony's chest rather than onto the billionaire's face. Tony would live a day. Steve _had_ heard Amelia.

Despite still being alive, Tony couldn't help but look at Steve with an unrecognized gaze and it struck the soldier as he slowly began to realise what he'd become. Steve regarded Tony's look, and then he turned to Amelia, but the brunette was not looking at him like he'd expected. She was looking over towards her brother, breathing heavily, clearly relieved that he was still alive.

His mouth fell in a straight line, all emotion draining from his face despite so much churning within him like the fire used to meld iron. The fire was melding his iron soul into a new shape, one he wasn't sure he liked.

Slowly, he stood up. The soldier began to walk over to Amelia. To his star, the light that guided him home every day, the only assured and constant and definite in his life. He began to reach out with his hand.

"Don't you dare," Tony spat through his teeth, "after everything you've done to her, _don't you dare_."

He didn't deserve her. He'd lied to her. Almost killed her brother. Steve Rogers did not deserve Amelia Stark, not as the man he'd become. The monster he'd become.

Steve dropped his hand, and Amelia whimpered. "Steve?" Her voice was almost childlike as she cried out from him, still on the floor, still gripping her stomach.

Steve walked passed her, not even offering her a glance, if he did then there would have been nothing he could do to stop himself from rushing over to her and embracing her and slipping out a thousand apologies and begs for forgiveness.

He walked over to his shield, but he did not pick it up. He did not deserve that either. It was a gift from Howard Stark, and after all the destruction he'd just done to that family, to Howard's daughter, he had no right to the shield anymore.

"Steve." She called his name again, a heart-wrenching crack breaking apart his name. She'd said it with such pain in his voice. That's what he caused. Pain. Just… pain.

The soldier's last destination was Bucky, his fallen comrade, the only person in that room who he'd be able to help. He lifted Bucky up, putting his friends one arm around his shoulder so that he could carry the armless giant.

"Steve!" She shrieked out his name that time, and he heard the sound of her trying to get up but she seemed to just slip back on the ground.

He was leaving her. For good, that time. But Amelia needed him, she needed him there with her, she needed his hand to hold. Because she couldn't find her babies heartbeat, and she didn't know how to cope with that without him there with her.

As she fell down to the floor again, Tony finally noticed the puddle of blood that had been forming beneath her. It didn't seem to be coming from where he'd shot her. "Amelia?" He questioned, voice just as croaky as heard has been.

She could feel the blackness slipping into her gaze, could feel the fog clouding her mind. Though Amelia didn't realise she was going unconscious from blood loss, she still knew she was going unconscious and she could only guess that it was because of her baby. Her baby. She should have paid more attention to it, should have cared more about it, but all she'd done had cared about _Steve_. And now her baby was dead because of it. She wept, loudly, and she hoped to god that Steve would hear the tortured screams coming from her.

"Amelia?!" He became more panicked as the blood spread out and her anguished cries only became more tortured. It was hard for him to even look at her in that moment, it was the kind of crying everyone would find difficult to both look at and hear.

"Tony," she breathed out through the squalling, his name falling from shaking red lips, "I'm- I- I'm pregnant." Finally, she'd admitted it. Finally, Amelia had told someone. Finally. And it was all too late.

She passed out then, the last image going through her mind was that perfect scenario. Her and Steve on a farm with a dog, drinking hot chocolates with their two children, watching a glowing sunset of pinks and purples and oranges. It faded to black.

* * *

 **A/N: THANKS AGAIN TO ASSBITCH67 FOR BETA-ING**

 **So, that all just happened, can't wait to read your reactions because I'm evil. But also I love you, please don't hate me, these things happen for a reason (at least in book they do).**

 **ALSO I'VE CHANGED THE TITLE TO 'THE CHAOS IN STARS' BECAUSE IT TOTALLY MAKES MORE SENSE THAN 'HIRAETH' AND I'VE ALSO CHANGED MY USERNAME TO THEAMAZINGSPOIDERMAN BECAUSE THAT'S HOW I SAY THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN EVEN THOUGH I'M BRITISH JUDGE ME ALL YOU WANT I basically just got bored of my new username, expect me to change it quite a bit until I find THE ONE.**

 **To Pitspee, honestly I want to see exactly the same thing and hopefully one day, someday soon perhaps? Who knows. AND I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW BECAUSE THEY'RE BOTH LIKE ICONS TO ME RN MAYBE THEY SHARE THE SAME STRENGTH? I'd love to see them fight it out. If there's ever a X-Men VS Avengers movie maybe she'll take part lol.**

 **To AngelElmarlienHenning, you probably don't love this update but I hope you enjoyed it all the same**

 **To Sam0728, welp guess she's gotten hurt far more than he ever will after this chapter. AND YAY FOR SUPERHERO LANDING LETS CONCENTRATE ON THAT SHALL WE?!**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, here comes another cliffhanger, good look coping with that one. And thank you!**

 **To rosequartz121, and NOW YOU KNOW! I'm so sorry, first of all. Was your theory correct though?**

 **To LadyAmazon, I've literally played the first ten minutes of that game and I never continued it. Maybe one day. And true, maybe it will, don't know if what happened in this chapter will help anyone though. And yay, your cats sound adorable.**

 **To The Observer 2.O, can't wait to hear your response to this one**

 **To BrittStar1199, I wish Amelia had the courage to absolutely annihilate Steve's ass, that would be a great chapter to write**

 **To Assbitch67, just stuff your face with Cheetos, who knows it might help eventually AND I'M SO HAPPY YOU CAN BETA FOR ME TOO**

 **To LoveFiction2018, if it was me I would have definitely been able to wait until this update, I hate it so much**

 **AND A BIG APOLOGY TO THOSE THAT JUST READ THE CHAPTER I HOPE YOUR HEARTS ARE OKAY**


	98. Chapter Ninety-Four

**CHAPTER NINETY-FOUR**

* * *

"And then she told herself, 'Stop being so weak. Grow up and get over it.' And then she never felt anything again."

― **Unknown**

* * *

Amelia's bedroom was covered in shadow, the usual pristine whites of the walls cast a monotone dark grey, the cacophony of colour that once shed all over the room turned into dark shades. There was no light, not even the moon or the stars found their way to her that night. She was all alone, curled up on her bed, the sheets were thrown aside because they smelt too much like _him_. Her hands were wrapped against her stomach, it was flat again, and no miraculous heartbeat was singing back to her. There was a pain shrouding her body as consuming as the lack of light. It was a lot like touching hot ash, the pain dull but it made her skin blaze.

She was not asleep. Amelia hadn't slept in quite a few days because she simply didn't feel like she deserved it. There were a lot of things Amelia felt like she didn't deserve that night. All the brunette was doing - and had done for that day - was stare out the window which was covered by a sheet of rain.

Someone knocked on the door, their hits light and shy but still the sound was too loud and Amelia visibly cringed from where she was curled on her bed, folding into herself even more, trying to shy away from the world around her. She'd hoped they would leave eventually. The past few times anyone had come to her door, that was what had happened. Whoever it was, they'd knock, once maybe twice, sometimes call her name, but after a few minutes of complete silence, they'd simply leave her be. That was how Amelia wanted it to be.

"Mia," Tony called her name, her brother being the last person she expected to come see her. He'd taken her back to the facility and left her alone ever since, Amelia didn't feel bitter towards his behaviour because she would have just pushed him away if he had tried to talk to her about what happened. She didn't move from her bed, nor did she make a sound. "Mia, I-" Words failed him. On the other side of the door, Tony stood with a sullen expression, dark circles perched permanently under red eyes and a box in his hand.

He looked from the box back over to Amelia's door, trying to wipe the sad expression from his face, trying his best to pretend to be strong. "I'm so sorry, Mia," his voice cracked and he winced at how frail his voice sounded. The last thing Tony wanted, in that moment, was to pretend like he'd been hurt the worst over everything that had happened. "I'm so sorry. If there was anything I could do to change things- t- to- to _save_ him…" He began to sniffle, grip tightening around the cardboard box in his hand, the billionaire unaware of his sister who had for the first time that day slowly stood up from her bed.

It hurt. Every single time she moved, a deep and long pain would rage inside of her stomach that made her falter and bend over slightly. She pushed her hand against her belly, as though that would do anything to stop the burning. Still, the brunette continued with her journey. Her steps were quiet, the girl feeling far lighter than she used to. Amelia stopped outside of her bedroom door and raised a hand up to the entrance. Not to the handle, no, she didn't plan on ever opening that door ever again. There was no part of her that wished to comfort Tony because she blamed him, she blamed the entire world, and most of all, she blamed herself. If she had the energy, she would scream out every curse she knew, flood the world with her anguish. But there was no energy in her, there was no life. So she just stood silently behind the door, listening to Tony's words and wishing that he would just _shut up_.

"You need to talk to someone though," he mumbled, clearing his throat and trying to abandon the mourning which strangled his throat, "Nat's left now, but she did try and come to see you. She told me that you need to talk to someone, and then she slapped me for not just sitting outside of your door twenty-four-seven," he released a hollow laugh, "but she is right. You need to talk to someone."

No. She didn't. Amelia had already tried the whole talking thing out before, and that ended up with Rebecca forcing her to kill people. Plus, it wasn't like people ever talked to her. Clearly Steve hadn't, not really. Talking would be useless. And yet, even as the brunette thought that, a certain pair of blue eyes filled up her mind the way black clouds were filling the sky outside and she couldn't help a sensation of yearning.

Outside the door, Tony wiped at his eyes, trying to make himself look a little bit more presentable. "Which is why I'm giving you this." He lifted up the parcel that he'd gotten a few hours ago; It had stayed in his possession for so long because he'd opened it before Amelia and after seeing the contents, had debated whether to even give it to her or not. "It's from Steve."

The door whipped open immediately and Tony wished he could say that he was surprised. He'd certainly hoped that the soldier's name wouldn't have such an effect on his sister. After everything that Steve had done to her, to their family, he'd hoped that Amelia would realise that he's not such a perfect man, certainly not someone who deserved her faith but it was clear that old habits tended to die hard.

"Mia-" It was his one opportunity to talk to her, and it passed by in a flash. He saw her shadowed face, saw her hand reach out the doorway and grab the box, and then she disappeared back behind the door. There was a clicking sound, telling Tony that she'd locked the doors again. The billionaire had a way of getting through, he'd basically built the place, he could quite easily have overridden the doors locking system but he was trying to give his sister the right amount of time to heal. When he'd lost his entire family, he'd held himself hostage in a house for a few months as well, so he understood why she was behaving in such a way. That didn't mean he liked it. There were plenty of people that had gotten frustrated with him as well. "If you need to talk, I'm here, I promise that this time I'm not going to leave you."

With those final words, he left Amelia's doorway, mind burning with the last image he'd seen of her face. She barely looked like Amelia, more like some broken soul that had endured hell for over a thousand years. Her skin had been paler, and the shadows hid all of the freckles that once sparkled on her skin, the only thing twinkling on her cheeks were the drying streaks of tears that came from dark, dead, eyes surrounded by red. Her cheeks were sharper, her entire face had tightened from weight loss but it did not make her look tougher, it made her look like all it would take was a flick and that would break all her bones apart. The hair that once fell in waves was a tousled mess wrapped up into a messy bun on top of her head, numerous hairs leaking from it and laying flatly against her greying skin.

The destroyed girl that had hidden herself away inside her bedroom was leaning against the door once Tony had left, she slid her way down to the floor. Rather than turning on the light to her room, she allowed her white power to glow around her hand. It was the only light that didn't hurt her.

The cardboard box Tony had given her was simple and addressed to her, though there was no return address. It felt like she was holding something much more than a cardboard box. It was the first piece of contact she'd had with her- the soldier, since he'd left her. Simply looking at it was causing her heart to burst from her chest, not out of love or happiness which is what she was used to experience when it came to Steve, no, what she felt then was fear and the purest sense of hatred she'd ever experienced. And anger, not towards Steve and his lie, no, that had faded the following day after he left her. Her anger stemmed from all those memories that burned her mind of being in a hospital alone, begging for Steve to be there, being _pathetic_. It was all anger towards herself.

She ran her hands across it, wondering if Steve's hands had also touched the box. Then she opened it up. It was pretty easy to get into because of Tony having already gone through the package. There wasn't anything big inside of it, just a mobile phone which lit up once she flipped it over. Amelia was confused by the phone as there didn't seem to be anything important about it, then she remembered that Tony had looked at it first so she wouldn't have seen any notifications about phone calls or text messages.

The brunette had been correct in her assumption as in the text message application there was something sent from the name 'Steve Rogers'. If she'd had any capabilities of feeling humour, she would have smiled a little at the fact that he'd chosen to use his full name.

 **From: Steve Rogers**

 **Amelia, I know you're angry, but please meet me at our first date spot. We need to talk.**

Amelia didn't know if she could do that, just _talk_. She wanted to scream at him and throw every ounce of power she possessed onto his one body until he felt as tiny and as insignificant to her as she had to him when he left. The idea of actually going never crossed her mind until she saw the second text he'd still sent her.

 **From: Steve Rogers**

 **I still love you.**

It was clearly an afterthought, something he felt was needed to say, his words purposefully a siren's song meant to pull her in. That wasn't okay, not to Amelia. Him lying to her for so long about something so important, and then him leaving her at the Siberian base, none of that was okay. So feeling like he had the sovereignty to tell her those words was not okay.

It was the first show of emotion she'd displayed, other than sadness, since Steve had left her. The first passion that she'd actually felt towards something, and because it was such a fresh new flame in her heart, it was enough to sway her mind into actually going.

Sneaking out of the facility was easy, she'd done it before. But the journey there was less than simple as her mind began to overthink. The brunette was no longer blind to the effect the man had, and she wouldn't be surprised if her first instinct upon seeing him was to jump into his arms and kiss him and tell him all was forgiven. And she knew that a part of her desired that more than anything because she had yet to take off Steve's ring. A part of her still believed that the farm and the family and the dog was still a possibility.

Amelia had thought it had been quite clear their entire relationship that the one thing she wanted was the truth, the one thing she hadn't been given for the first twenty-five years of her life. However hard or cold or cruel, she'd have still wanted that truth. Even if it broke her heart. She would have preferred the truth, to be hurt, because then at least she would have been able to move on. All she'd done was waste the last three years of her life being fooled by a lie intended to preserve feelings. Steve had destined those feelings to be destroyed though.

It didn't even matter. The lies, it didn't matter. Because what had happened afterward was something she should never have had to go through, it was a fate she wouldn't dare wish on anyone else, and it was something she'd had to go through alone because Steve had left her. Abandoned her. Like she was nothing, not a lover, not a fiance, just… nothing.

And maybe it was her fault. She'd lied too, she'd lied about the baby but it hadn't been her intention to keep that baby as some big secret, it was always just a truth meant for another time. His truth had never had a time to arrive, Amelia had thought over countless moments when he could have told her the information he knew, but he'd kept his mouth shut throughout all of those times. So, yeah, maybe Steve left her because she hadn't been the best person. Clearly, she wasn't. If she was, then her child wouldn't have…

She saw Steve and just like that the world seemed to drop from her feet. Amelia didn't get out of the car immediately, she couldn't. His silhouette stood beneath the broken gazebo, probably trying to get coverage from the torrential rainfall but she doubted it was very useful.

The brunette had forgotten to bring a coat of her own but she didn't really care, she didn't care about getting a cold or anything like that anymore. Death was something she craved more than love. After she stayed in that car for ten minutes, taking deep breaths and trying to calm down her mind that repeatedly switched between sobbing and screaming, she left the stolen vehicle and stepped out into the rain. It was cold against her skin, falling down so violently that it was like tiny knives stabbing her. The pain was a relief, and the cold was a chilling reminder that she was still alive.

Her steps were slow as she journeyed towards the gazebo and Amelia spent that time thinking up what should be the first thing she said to him.

The closer she got to him, the clearer he became. Her guess had been right. He was soaked from the rain, drops hung from his long lashes and soaked his glistening skin. His hair was flat and messy against his head, and there were the starts of a stubble growing across his chin. Steve didn't look as nearly as damaged as she did, Amelia thought bitterly, but then, he was a super soldier so it must be pretty had for him to look anything other than perfect all the time.

"Amelia-" He gasped out her name like it was the first time he'd breathed in a while, and she became acutely aware of the step closer he'd taken towards her, his hands beginning to rise.

She threw up her hand, stopping him from walking any closer. "What did you want? Tony will be following me here soon, so hurry up." _Good_ , she told herself. Amelia needed to not get emotional and not allow him near her, their souls were two magnets drawn together and it was up to her to take control of that force, to stop them from ever connecting again.

He blinked at her in surprise, clearly not expecting the dull reaction she'd given. Amelia wondered what exactly he had been expecting? For her to celebrate the fact that he'd come back for her, because they always found their way back to each other? To slap him, for leaving her in the first place? She wanted to do the latter more than the first. That was good progress.

Steve respectfully took a step back. "Bucky," he began, and Amelia's heart felt on fire when he started off his sentence by saying that name, this conversation was supposed to be about them, "he told me about what you did. When you stabbed him, you didn't hit any major organs. You did it on purpose, didn't you?"

That was what he wanted to talk about? Amelia was baffled. Still, he sounded like his throat was clogged with a thousand other words that she'd stopped him from saying by throwing up her hand so the brunette decided she'd humour him for a moment. It was something she didn't mind talking about anyway. "I can't kill, Steve," she felt like she was telling him something she'd already mentioned a thousand other times, it reminded her of after he'd kissed Sharon, "I wanted to kill him so _fucking_ badly, you have no idea. I wanted to cause him as much pain as he caused me. But I fucking couldn't."

"Why?"

He wanted to hear her say that it was because of him, because she still loved him and still cared about how he felt. If she did confess that, then Amelia wouldn't have been lying. But the brunette refused to give him that, not after what he'd done.

"Is this all you wanted, to talk about Bucky?" She crossed her hands over her chest, "you dragged me all the way here to talk about your _bestie_?" Amelia spat out Bucky's title with shining emerald jealousy. It was much more poisonous than the jealousy she'd felt towards Sharon though. That was child's play compared to how she felt about Steve's care for Bucky, a love that had made him choose the metal-armed giant over her.

Of course, that wasn't what the situation had been like at all. He'd chosen to save the person most likely to die, he'd had no idea the state of Amelia. But she didn't care that he had no idea, she cared that he'd left and made it so that he didn't know of the condition she was in.

"Don't you think you've tortured me enough, Steve?" Amelia added, eyes turning to slits as she stared at the man in front of her. A man, unrecognizable to her. All the anger she placed on her expression was cracked, even under the starless sky Steve could tell that it wasn't really what she felt towards him. What she actually felt was much worse, and it arrived in the form of tears that fell unhidden from her already sore looking eyes.

"I- I came back for you," he hadn't intended to stutter, but in the face of those tears, knowing that he was the one that caused them, Steve felt every piece of his own armour shatter.

Angrily, she wiped away her tears. They were tears of vexation that clearly showed she still cared about him, which was the opposite of the facade Amelia was trying to act out. That was why her following words were: "I don't want you anymore." They were sharper than any sword and rougher than any stone, making Steve choke but Amelia continued on determined. Glaring at him through the rainwater that fell viciously, neither of them seemed aware of the tears falling from the sky anymore, it was almost like the clouds were mourning what had ended as well.

"Amelia, please-"

"You left me, Steve. _You left me_." It was hard to keep her emotions pouring out as the teardrops persisted, her sleeve too soaked by the rain to really wipe them away. Steve clamped his mouth shut, eyebrows twitching as he became frustrated with the fact that she wouldn't let him speak. It was Amelia's best defense against him though, to not let him speak, his words were a poison that would captivate her. And like any other poison, they would eventually lead to her demise. "Do you know how hard it's been for me without you here? Steve," she let out a false laugh and threw her arms out, mocking herself and how pitiful she was, "I can't sleep without you. I can't eat without you. I can't breathe-"

"I can't sleep without you!" He yelled out, interrupted her, enraged by how she'd dared to accuse him of feeling any less for her than how she felt for him. Despite her earlier reservations, he did take a step forward, and he even threw out his own shaking hand. "I can't sleep without you, or eat without you, or breathe without _you_. Which is why I came back, because I need you. We need each other."

The past few days had been hell for him. The soldier had constantly been kicking himself, cursing himself, beating himself up repeatedly because leaving her was the most regrettable thing he'd ever done. The absence of her at his side had made him forget all about his prior realisation of how he'd been bad for her, all Steve wanted was to be with her again, to stop feeling that awful emptiness in his soul. He needed her.

But, as much as Amelia had enjoyed having him there by her side, as addicting as that had been, Steve did not know of what she'd had to endure alone. Of what fire and brimstone she'd crawled her way through, _alone_. She'd had to not need him during a time when she needed him most, and it had almost killed her.

"If you really needed me, if you really wanted me, you wouldn't have left me." She pushed more, unwilling to step back from her argument, unwilling to simply choose him anymore. Amelia was actually scared to choose him.

"I did exactly what you did for us after Rebecca blackmailed you. I had to get Bucky to safety before your brother-"

"Don't you dare compare me leaving you to _protect_ you, to you leaving me to save yourself. Don't you fucking dare." Again, she interrupted him, her words louder and brimming with more power. She would not stand down, she would not back down, she would make him grovel. That's what she deserved. Not being abandoned. Not having to lie in a hospital bed, reaching out to an empty space beside her, begging and wailing for Steve so much that her brother couldn't even stay in the room and watch her, pushing out that- She stopped herself again, reigning in her emotions before she dared remember what had happened. It would only make her break down in front of Steve. She was already crying, she didn't want to collapse as well.

"It was one of the worst mistakes of my life, and I don't want to leave things like that, not with us." They were Amelia and Steve. They weren't ordinary, they couldn't simply end because of one stupid mistake.

"Then what do you want? Do you want us to get married, can you tell me that tomorrow we can go back to the way we used to be and get married? Can you promise me that you'll never leave me ever again?" For a short second, Amelia actually waited anxiously for him to say yes, she _actually_ believed for a second that maybe there was still hope. She truly was pathetic. Truly too attached. It wouldn't have been the same anyway, she didn't have her child anymore, that dream had already been broken.

When he didn't answer, when Steve simply stood with his mouth hanging open, Amelia took a step back again, realising she'd allowed herself to care for him again. He hadn't cared for her, so he did not deserve care from her either. "I can't do this," her voice cracked and she heaved as a small whimper passed through her shaking lips.

She turned away and started to run back in her car, obviously not as fast as the super soldier who caught up to her and grabbed onto her hand. The touch made her feel physically sick. He pulled her over towards him, and she saw a flash of movement as he tried to lean down but _no_. Steve Rogers did not have that sort of claim on her anymore, no one did. She used her powers to shove him away and he was thrown onto the mussy grassland. Amelia stood over him, breathing heavily, hands clenched into fists, nails digging deeply into her palms.

"How dare you," Amelia hissed, "you don't get to kiss me, not after what you did." Not after what he didn't do.

"I'm sorry, I know, that was wrong," he reprimanded himself. Steve just wanted to remind her of everything they once had, and he wanted to also make her forget everything he did. Slowly but surely, the soldier was beginning to see things clearer though. It was hard to deny just how much damage he'd done when it was standing right in front of him. "I'm sorry. I just… I still love you," it was Steve's turn to start crying, "I still love you and I can't stop that so just tell me what I can do to fix this." He gestured between them, as though that was enough to signify every little moment that had worked towards dismantling the love they once shared.

"I want to hate you, Steve," she confessed, teeth clenched as she spat out her words furiously, feeble cries still breaking apart her speech, "I want to drown myself in every horrible thing you did, I want to find a reason to fucking detest you." Steve looked at her sympathetically but it did nothing but fuel her resentment, she didn't want the soldier's sympathy, she wanted him to have never left her in the first place. "You want to know why I couldn't kill Bucky? Because I fucking love- _loved_ you. And all I kept thinking, was how much it would hurt you and make you sad. Even after everything you fucking did to me. I still couldn't bring myself to hurt you." By the end of her speech, all anger was lost, woe replacing her fire. It was because of that dedication that her baby ended up…

"You did this to me, Steve," Amelia looked at him then, looking for any sign of regret on his part, and of course she saw plenty of it, but none of that contrition was for the acts he'd committed, it was for getting caught. "You did this." She dropped her hands, utterly defeated.

"Please don't leave me," he tried again, filling those words with so many promises of trying harder next time but it wasn't enough. It would never replace the life they could have had.

"Does it hurt you?" The brunette questioned, ice freezing over them both and Steve looked to her perplexed, "does the idea that you'll never see me again make you incapable of breathing? Make you feel like a thousand razors are crawling around your insides like spiders and all you can do is ask for them to push harder because it doesn't matter, the pain doesn't matter, nothing matters without me in your life, right?" She bit down on her lip, reliving every millisecond of the torture that had ripped her apart when watching Steve first leave. "Maybe now you know what it's like."

There was one last thing she needed to do, for herself, not for Steve. That was what she'd make her life into. A life for herself. Amelia raised up one of her hands, and from it, she began to pull off the ring that Steve had given her. Immediately the soldier rushed back onto his feet and over towards her, stumbling in the mud, in the rain, catching her hands in his own before the ring was completely off the finger.

"No, don't," he begged huskily, closer than she should have ever allowed, and yet she did not push him away that time. "Please, that ring, it's yours. Meant for you and only you. Don't take it off."

"Why?" When had she become quiet? When had she stopped breathing? Oh. It was when Steve had stepped close enough for her to feel his warm breath curdling around her freezing flesh.

"I know you don't want me anymore, I'll- I'll learn to accept that. I'll leave you alone for as long as you need, even forever, as long as you keep that ring." Steve wasn't looking into her eyes, he had kept his eyes locked on the tiny piece of jewelry, like a guard dog making sure that it never stopped touching her skin. "As long as you wear it, I'll know that a part of you is still thinking about me. But if you take that off, if you forget about me and everything we've been through… I don't think I could live with that."

His words had been serious. Steve really couldn't continue existing if his ex-lover abandoned him altogether, whilst she might be able to work on a new life, he would still forever be waiting to entwine his soul with hers again. He was dedicated to her.

And that's what she'd always wanted. It's what she thought she'd had, until he abandoned her at the Siberian base. Seeing that it was still there, that idea did something to her, and without being able to stop herself, Amelia cupped the soldier's cheek and she brought his lips up to hers. It was a kiss. A simple bit of contact. And it was the entire universe to the both of them. Both of Steve's hands rose to grip Amelia's head as he embraced her lips with his own, breathing her in. He'd dropped her hand, but she did not drop the ring, instead, she pushed it back onto her finger. It was soft at first, but Amelia did not want soft. Soft was an insult to her after everything she'd gone through. What she needed was something hard and rough and painful. So the brunette pulled her soldier closer, their noses pressed into each others as they rolled their lips together the way the tide carressed the shoreline, violently, giving and taking all at the same time. The kiss was wet and sloppy because of the rain, or maybe it was their tears that kept bouncing off of their cheeks.

It was a secret told, a promise kept and it was every goodbye that had ever been said.

When they parted, they both knew what was next, so for a few seconds, they didn't move. They just stayed in each other's arms, forehead against forehead, the sky crying down on them.

"I don't want you to go," Steve professed, whispering it like he was confessing some sort of sin to god. In some ways he felt like that was exactly what it was. He was keeping Amelia in a relationship that had clearly become toxic, all because he didn't know how to live without her anymore.

She didn't reply, all the words she had to give were the different variations of what Steve had said, but unlike the soldier, she couldn't allow herself to stay where there was too much damage. _She_ was too damaged. It was her who let go first, and because she'd allowed Steve to get so close to her, it felt exactly like tearing her body in half as she walked away from him.

Amelia wasted no time getting in the car and driving on, getting far away from him, but there wasn't a 'far enough' that would stop her from feeling his breath still on her skin, warmer than the coat of rain she wore, his lips mesmerising her own, his soul dancing with hers the way two shooting stars would pass by each other in blinding light.

Because of that, the brunette did not manage to get far, only about halfway back to the facility. She had to stop as tears blinded her vision and the pain in her stomach became too much. She'd worked so hard on pretending like her bottom half wasn't being twisted and torn, all so that Amelia could keep the truth about their child from him. It was a secret she'd purposely kept from him out of some sick need for revenge, he'd kept the truth about her kidnapper, so she was going to keep the truth of the child. Or at least that's what she told herself, the real reason she hadn't told Steve was because she couldn't possibly pass on the agony she was going through onto him. Never him.

Going there, she'd wanted to tell him everything. But after seeing his face for only a mere second, Amelia simply didn't know how. How she could possibly tell him that every tall building had become a diving board, and every pill had become a chance rather than a cure, and ever sun was grey, and every night was black. So black it ate away at her soul like mold ate away at bread. How was she supposed to tell him that it was him who did that to her? Him. Him. _Him._ How could she tell him that despite the raw, indisputable, pain he had caused her, he still burdened her thoughts like flies in the summer?

Amelia remained in the car for ten minutes, simply crying and holding her stomach, wishing for an end. It didn't come. What came instead was her brother, in the middle of nowhere, knocking on her window with an umbrella in his hand. She rolled down the window, doing nothing to hide her tears because there had been no point, he'd seen her in a much far worse state. "Let me drive you back," he said calmly, not showing any anger which is what she'd expected considering he knew she'd have gone to meet Steve.

No argument was made as she slipped into the passenger side, still perplexed by Tony's sudden appearance, it was almost like he'd known where she'd stop and had been waiting for her there. Her brother closed his umbrella before getting into the car and then he threw it into the back seat, starting the car and setting off to the facility, allowing her a moment of silence so that she could reign in all of her emotions. After a few minutes, the billionaire finally spoke, "how did it go?"

"As good as you'd expect," she replied, not really wanting to tell Tony any of the details, especially about how she'd kissed him in the end.

"How did he react to the baby?" The question had clearly been hanging on the tip of Tony's tongue.

"I didn't tell him," she crossed her arms over her stomach so she could comfortably cradle her empty stomach.

His eyes snapped over to hers, hidden behind sunglasses but Amelia easily guessed that they'd been widened. "What? Mia, he was the dad, he should know."

"No, he wasn't the dad. If he was the dad he would have been there." Images flashed before her eyes, images that she'd been pushing back for so long. Herself, waking up in a hospital bed, surrounded by doctors. Her stomach ached horrifyingly, a pain she'd never experienced before despite enduring numerous forms of torture. They'd told her she needed to push the baby out, and then they'd told her that it was dead. She'd begged for Steve. They'd brought Tony instead. But she… she needed Steve there so badly. She needed him to hold her hand and tell her that everything would be okay and kiss her forehead and be there to hold her after their little ball of light was born. But he hadn't. She'd had to push out that dead ball of light, alone. She'd asked to hold the ball of light, which turned out to be a boy. She needed to see the proof. He was so tiny, an almost baby. She'd killed him. Tony had killed him. Steve had killed him. As far as she was concerned, the entire world had killed him. "I don't want to talk about this," she revealed, trying to stop the conversation before it could progress any further.

"I know it's hard right now, but-"

"I want a house," she revealed, a sudden decision being made in her head as Amelia realised that she couldn't even be around her brother anymore, everything just reminded her of what she'd lost and it was horrible. It was razors crawling under her skin like spiders. "I want a house in the middle of nowhere, somewhere no one can find me. I want to be on my own. I don't want you to be able to find me, or anyone else."

That was the only thing Amelia could see as helpful, being alone. If she was alone then no one would be able to hurt her.

"Amelia isolating yourself like that won't be any help, trust me I know," they arrived at the facility and he parked the car outside the door so that he could turn to face his sister.

A storm was brewing behind her eyes. "I don't want your help!" She screamed out, bashing her hand against the car door, making Tony sit back a little further away from her, "I want a house! I want to be alone! I want to be _dead_ to the world!" Tears streamed down her face unbidden for the hundredth time that day. " _That_ is what I want!"

It seemed her brother was for the first time in his life speechless, at a complete loss on how he would be able to help Amelia. The brunette was looking at him expectantly, lightning crashing down onto earth and that silver light twinkled in her eyes where the tears were forming. What could he do? She'd already made up her mind. She wanted Amelia Stark to be dead. She needed Amelia Stark to be dead.

"Fine." He'd barely said the word, a choked out whisper. But it was enough. His sister left the car, going back into the rain so that she could go to her and Steve's room and pack the three items she would need to take.

The next morning, as the sun rose and shined through grey clouds that had run out of tears, the rays lightened up a room in the Avengers facility. It was the room that once belonged to Captain America and Amelia Stark, littered with memories of their lives. Photographs, scrapbooks, clothes strewn over the floor. The only thing folded was a leather jacket which sat alone on the bed.

* * *

 **A/N: ANOTHER CHAPTER BETA'D BY ASSBITCH67**

 **I'M SO BLOODY SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO UPLOAD I STILL HAVE NO INTERNET PLEASE FORGIVE ME BUT ALSO PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR THIS CHAPTER I KNOW IT'S NOT VERY NICE**

 **AND ALSO MORE BAD NEWS CAUSE I'M JUST SUCH A GREAT AUTHOR I'M SO SORRY: I'll be going on a hiatus from this for a week, maybe longer because I have to plan a lot here (both Bones Becoming Flowers and The Chaos In Stars because the characters will be interacting and I need to make sure all plans make sense and stuff) then I have to write five chapters of The Chaos In Stars so that I'm ahead and able to upload if I can't write a chapter for whatever reason. I'M REALLY SORRY!**

 **AND RANDOM QUESTION BUT DOES ANYONE KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MARIA STARK'S PARENTS AND WHAT HER NAME BEFORE MARRYING HOWARD WAS I CAN'T FIND THE INFO ANYWHERE**

 **To Guest, NOPE THAT'S EXACTLY HOW IT SHOULD FEEL! Amelia had done so many things before Tony shot her in the stomach that's it's highly likely the child was dead long before that moment.**

 **To AngelElmarlienHenning, sorry that this ending isn't any better. And I'm glad you like the new title!**

 **To shugokage, omw thank you so much!**

 **To Guest, nooooooooooo please don't die! I'd miss you too much unnamed-reviewer! Glad you enjoyed the chapter and the humanity in Bucky, I'm sorry I made you cry tho**

 **To kuppcake, I'm really really sorry**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, if I was there I'd hand you a tissue I'm so sorry. This chapter kind of answers your question about whether she'll see him in Infinity War. Sorry you had to wait so long for this chapter!**

 **To supernaturallover1098, I'm really sorry but baby Stevia has sadly passed away**

 **To LoveFiction2018, lol well here we have it being the other way around ^^ I know the situation is sad, but I'm proud of Amelia for finally walking away from toxic things in her life.**

 **To LovelyThorn, an excellent summary if I do say so myself!**

 **To cabrera1234, I know, I'm sorry :(**

 **To The Observer 2.O, I feel like The Chaos In Stars makes a lot more sense for this story, Hiraeth made sense for the first part but it's meaning becomes lost with the rest. And stars man, they get mentioned a lot in this story. With regards to the shot in the stomach comment, when I was watching the movie, and from what I envisioned it made perfect sense. Tony was aiming downward. You right about Steve, his lack of apology comes from his concern towards Amelia which as we see in this chapter is just as dramatic for him as it is her. They both need to grow the fuck up basically.**

 **To Sam0728, I'm sorry to hear about your friend. And those words are very apt. Please don't cry though, they're Amelia and Steve, "they always find their way back to each other", or so they say. Tony does blame himself but that's more to do with his character than fact, Amelia had done a lot of unhealthy things beforehand that all put her child at risk so it is EXTREMELY likely the baby was dead and it was just Tony's shot that was the final straw on her body. And omg omg that's so sweet of you thank you so much!**

 **To Pitspee, ahahaha, they weren't twins this time, just poor lil boy Stevia. Your reaction is great, but I'm still sorry for the wait and stuff with the following chapter, and the next wait that's about to happen.**

 **To LadyAmazon, not the nacho chips! Lol I'm pretty sure Amelia is also asking 'what has become of my world' too.**

 **To Evilhyperpixie13, same, but I don't think that fantasy will ever become a reality with the two characters in the state that they are. And thank you!**

 **To BrittStar1199, well, she's off to go get her shit together now. Let's just hope it's enough.**

 **To rosequartz121, I'M REALLY SORRY and also wow that's so mean to Amelia. And thank you! I know I've said this before, but I'm immensely proud of this project and super grateful that people like you are leaving reviews. Sorry about the name change confusion, it just makes more sense than Hiraeth by this point.**

 **To Faora, I'M SORRY! I'M NOT THIS EVIL IN REAL LIFE! I SWEAR! I'd give you a tissue if I could.**

 **To Firefly Darkness, I get you, I had to get those few chapters out for the plot and they were also difficult to write but I kept pushing myself to get to this. Infinity War should be good though, Amelia will be a phoenix rising from the ashes (when isn't she?) from the miscarriage and Steve and it will all have been a very important lesson to her. Thank you for holding on and having faith in me, I'm sorry about the lul though. And I'm also sorry about the wait for this chapter!**

 **To Assbitch67, oh man I wish I had some ramen rn, save some for me, please.**

 **And a big thanks to all the readers! We've come such a long way and I feel like a different human to who I once was. I'll see you all in Part Five!**


	99. Part Five

**Part Five**

* * *

 _I used to be soft._

 _I used to be gossamer and silk,_

 _Until it was all torn away_

 _And I was abandoned and alone._

 _I used to be broken._

 _I used to be shards of iron and ice,_

 _A whirlwind of broken glass,_

 _Until I learned to be more._

 _Now I light up the night sky._

 _Beauty fighting against the darkness,_

 _Fire and lightning mistaken for nothing_

 _More than a pretty picture,_

 _But I'll burn you alive_

 _And look damn good doing it._

\- 'I earned my place in the stars', C.K

* * *

 **A war was coming. A war that would drag Artemis (formerly known as Amelia Stark) from her secluded home and three pet dogs. A war that would force her to awaken a side of herself she'd forced into a long slumber. A war that would relight a fire in her heart, and then diminish it entirely. A war that no one was prepared for.**

 **An Infinity War.**


	100. Part Five - Prologue

**PART FIVE - PROLOGUE**

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"Your nightmares follow you like a shadow, forever. "

― **Aleksandar Hemon**

* * *

The room was cold and grey and empty, artificial light poured into the spaceship and in the middle of the large open space wandered Thanos, walking straight towards his throne that stood ominously in the middle. It was quiet, a voluminous difference to the anguished cries that had been singing moments earlier when the Titan had boarded the Asgardian ship and taken the Space Stone for himself.

He'd had to sacrifice all of the people on the ship. It was necessary in order to get his Tesseract from Loki Odinson. Thor had proved to be an issue, but not as much as Thanos had thought he would be, the Titan had been sure he'd be facing a hammer throwing blond but that wasn't the case at all. All the 'god' had done was throw a couple of sparks his way and then the fight was over. There had also been a surprise guest, the Hulk, a warrior of the Earth's 'Avengers', and it was safe to say that he'd been a disappointment as well. Thanos knew his own power well, he knew that there were few that matched his strength, but he'd at least hoped that after all the stories he'd heard of the Hulk, that maybe the green giant would actually end up being a worthy fight.

Again the Titan looked down at his gauntlet that day, pleased by the sight of the additional stone he now possessed, though at the back of his mind he was still well aware of how far he had left to go in order to reach his destiny. Nothing would get in his way though. Not an Asgardian, not a giant green rage monster, _nothing_. Thanos had already ignored his destiny before and he'd promised never to do such a thing again, the price of his neglection the first time was his home planet, Titan. Next, it would be the Universe and that was something he needed to prevent, for the good of all life.

His throne was strict, not plush or luxurious, more a seat for a peasant than a throne meant for a god but that was how he preferred it and over the years it had become comfortable enough. He sat himself down slowly, the cold stone pressing against his purple skin, he didn't mind the frostiness kissing his skin though as the awakening of his senses was the closest thing he could get to that same sensation a fight would bring him. A feeling of being alive.

Thanos laid his head back, thinking over what his next steps should be, letting his mind fade as he closed his eyes. The Titan never slept, but that wasn't to say he never rested. It wasn't often that he could feel calm enough for such a luxury, his mind too busy with plans and how to execute them, but his earlier victory (getting the Space Stone, disposing of Thor who could have ended up being a future nuisance, and also disposing Loki, a failed experiment and a nuisance that hadn't left the back of his mind since the failure of his attack on Earth) had his heart feeling more elated than usual, perhaps that was why slipping into a content state was easier than normal.

Or perhaps, it was because of the Space Stone on his gauntlet that began to glow, brightening to the point where blue faded to white, black lines crawling through the stone like ink would in water. The change went unnoticed as Thanos slipped deeper and deeper into a reposed state.

It became interrupted though as the world behind his eyelids suddenly lurched, like the entire world had fallen out from under him and he was simply falling. Thanos jumped from the chair to his feet, desperate for solid ground which he immediately found, only it wasn't the type of ground he'd been expecting. Maybe it wasn't ground at all, the Titan could not tell as swirling all around him was a world of complete peril. Something black swirled around him, like specks of dust that bundled so tightly together and made the world dark. The only sign that there was indeed something there, something that was moving, was the way the dancing black sand would sparkle.

That, and the pain. It ruptured through his body the moment he opened his eyes. Every inch of skin he had was touched by the black dust, it grazed against his flesh painfully, breaking it apart the same way a torrential wave would erode a rock into nothing. Thanos held his hand in front of his face in the hopes that he'd be able to stop it from reaching his eyes but they were already burning painfully from the rainstorm of ash.

He needed to get out of there, the Titan was able to discern that much. The longer he stayed in the storm, the more of his body would be pulled away from him until all that would be left was bones.

Charging, he ran forward, taking big steps in the hopes of finding some end to the raging storm roiling around his body, every touch ungentle. The further he cantered, the harder the dust seemed to clash against his skin. It no longer felt like the dust was simply corroding him, but digging through what wounds had already been opened, finding its way inside of his body, filling up his lungs, drowning him in ash and all Thanos could do was helplessly travel forward. There was no fighting the damage already done to him, no gauntlet on his hand to save him. It was just him, a Titan, and he was losing.

With a crash, he collapsed to the floor, more dust being shoved upward by the force of his landing. He spluttered and choked, his hands beginning to claw at his arms, moving up to his face, trying helplessly to cover himself.

But there was no way for him to save himself, there was no hope, no end in sight, even death seemed an impossible achievement as he stagnated in that state of overwhelming agony. All there was, was the black sandstorm.

And then it all stopped.

As though the gods themselves had decided that the Titan had suffered enough, every piece of dust stilled in the air around him, like time had frozen in place. It did not stop the pain erupting within him. He didn't believe that anything really ever could.

The dust moved once more, but it didn't attack him that time, it all rushed forward, collecting onto one spot until something actually began to form. His eyes were squinted and his mouth was hanging open, releasing wheezing breaths, but still, the Titan managed to keep his eyes on that location where a person began to form.

The person wasn't very tall, about the same size as his daughter, Gamora, when she'd been a youngling. At first, Thanos thought it would end up being her, but the child in front of him ended up being a small human girl, her features chubby but her body stained with white lines over all of her skin that was revealed, a dirty grey cloth laying limply on her body and covering her chest and legs. She had no hair, though there was a dark stubble covering her head which suggested what had once been there was shaved off. His first inclination had been that she was human, but there was something about her that suggested otherwise. She could have possibly been Asgardian, there was a power emanating from her like a thick aura that, even though his skin had gone numb from the pain, Thanos still felt choking his heart.

"Hello," the child said simply, her voice high-pitched as was expected of a child but her tone was somehow more mature. The girl looked straight at him, her gaze unwavering, which was strange for the Titan as normally children would fear him. His daughter hadn't, that was why he'd made her become his daughter, even at such a young age she showed signs of becoming a fierce warrior.

"Who are you, child?" He asked gruffly, he couldn't have tried to sound kinder even if he wanted to, his throat still coated by the sandpaper texture of the dust.

"I am her, as much as she is me," the girl pronounced the words slowly, her voice a gentle caress that echoed slightly. There was also a finality in her voice, like that was the only answer he'd be getting from her regarding that particular question.

Thanos began to look around, dust was still floating around but it wasn't covering the air like an impenetrable wall anymore. It had collected like snow on the floor and though weird shapes rose up from beneath the ground, there was no way for the Titan to discern where exactly he was because everything was coated in a sheet of black. A gentle breeze had remained after the storms passing and smaller piece of dust floated around them like falling snowflakes, each piece sparkling, winking at him. "Where are we?"

"That is unimportant," she revealed, watching him carelessly as he rose up from the floor. He stumbled slightly, his legs not ready to feel the weight of his body after the beating they'd taken but still Thanos managed to stand, beginning to tower over the girl though she did not seem to care.

" _Why_ am I here, then?" He was determined to keep asking questions until he got something that would possibly give him insight on what was happening. The numbness surrounding his body made the world around him feel unreal.

To that question, a knife pointed smirk appeared on the girl, his first reaction from the stone-like figure. "Now you're asking the right questions," she explained amusedly, though delight melted back into bound and determined, "I am here to tell you, Mad Titan, of where your path is going to lead you."

"I am already aware of my destiny," he responded, starting to see the entity as just another naysayer. He'd dealt with many before, and their words had always been unimportant. It didn't matter if people believed in what he was doing, he knew the right from the wrong whilst they were only able to see a tiny picture whereas he had seen the end. He'd seen it on his home planet, the same planet that had died, all for him, because they'd ignored his plot.

Despite trying to stay austere, a laugh passed her lips and following it was something sinister, as though the small little girl was mocking him. "No," she responded, shaking her head, "I'm afraid you don't." He raised up his eyebrow bone at the girl's words, both surprised and curious. She seemed more than happy to give him an explanation. "You see, she will be coming for you soon, and when she does, there will be no saving you. No escaping. Right when you think you've won, she will _destroy_ you, and everything you stand for."

Her words made him stand a little taller, the pain nothing to the Titan as his pride burned passionately. The pride was not for himself though, no, it was all for his destiny that he refused to give up. "Is that supposed to be a threat, child?"

"No, _Dione,_ this is an act of mercy," she replied sharply and it was like he'd stopped breathing altogether at the mention of that name. No one should have known it. "Take it or leave it, I am just here to tell you your fate."

Thanos did not even hear the last words she'd said, still hypnotised by the name she has used. It wasn't just any name, it was _his_ name, the name his mother had given him and the name that his mother had uttered as she died. "Enough," he demands, voice becoming even rougher, "who is this warrior you believe is capable of stopping me?" The game the child was playing had suddenly become more personal, building up his own determination and he would make sure to use it in a way that would make both the entity and whatever warrior she spoke of, rue the day they dared to challenge him.

"You will meet her soon," the child answered, and it became clear at that point that she wasn't just saying things to be mysterious anymore, she was simply saying them to enrage him. Annoyingly, it was working.

" _Who is she?_ " Thanos asked again, running out of patience, he would not ask a third time.

"That is a very broad question," the girl murmured, beginning to walk around him, though it was more like she was floating, the dust surrounding her feet floating ominously where her feet should have been. "She could be a weapon, or a defender, or a hunter. To some, she is an angel, to others a demon." The girl continued circling him and Thanos remained wary, his body becoming stricter because he knew all too well that a wolf needed to catch it's victim once and then the battle would be over. "She is bloodied hands and bloodied knives, ichor pumping through veins, teeth that drip lead, lungs that inhale life and exhale poison." The girl stopped, turning to face him fully. "You want to know who she is? She is your _destruction_ , and you will look into her eyes at the place of your death, and you will see your universe _burning_." By the end of her speech the girl was smiling widely, so large it barely fit onto her face, her blackened eyes sparkling with pride.

Thanos squints his eyes, glaring over to the entity, seemingly unphased. He then proceeded to form a smile of his own. "I can't wait to meet her then," he hissed back to her.

The girls smile shrinks, and for a moment Thanos believed that he'd won their war of words, but the smile never went completely away, it had just changed into a secretive, small, upward turn of her lips. "It's funny, really."

"What is?"

"That you think you're intimidating, so powerful that you're scary. But Mad Titan, I have seen scary, and you don't have her smile." She raised up a hand, the movement causing pieces of sparkling black to fly from her skin the way dust danced off of an old book, and then she snapped her fingers.

It didn't take more than a second before Thanos realised what that snap had executed. His wounds began to burn corrosively and he let out a loud scream, hands falling limp by his side as he looked up to the sky dust covered sky. It wasn't like before, there were no new wounds being made. It was all of the lacerations he'd gotten from the previous storm, beginning to widen and break him apart even more. That agony lasted a long thirty seconds, leaving him breathless once more and the world around him was spinning hastily. It never faded either, just eased enough for him to be able to actually move his arm again.

Thanos bowed his head downward, eyes moving over his body. His armour had been destroyed and his entire body was coated in his own blood. The blood wasn't the only thing covering his body though. Every tiny laceration that had been caused from the violent dust storm had opened up, revealing eyes that gazed up at him from every inch of his skin, the blood falling like tears from them.

He didn't have a reaction because so many were going through his head. Horror, wonderment, confusion, terror. The Titan raised up his hand, almost as wide-eyed as the million that covered him. 'You will look into her eyes at the place of your death, and you will see your universe burning', that was what the child had said, maybe if he hadn't been so dazed, he would have remembered her words. But he didn't.

The Titan didn't think twice before staring into Tartarus, finding no souls, just devouring, ruination, torment. Just black, so dark celestial bodies must have resided in them.

Thanos had spent a lot of time stargazing, when flying through space for so many years there wasn't much else to do, but the constellations he found held in those eyes weren't any that he could recognise. Yet somehow it was all too familiar, something he would know _one day_. It was his Universe, the one that he would gain after achieving the rest of the infinity stones. It rung with the silence of space. The world he'd once been in fading as the Titan became consumed by the image held in the black iris', consumed by the perfection of the universe in front of him.

Until it started to burn. Not in the way paper would ignite, turning black and curdling. Neither in the way a body would be incinerated, polluting the insides whilst breaking apart their exterior. It was something else entirely magnificent and formidable and harrowing. It was the end of life, the end of everything, igniting and fulminating and devouring. So much light dancing with so much darkness. Impossible, it was impossible. It _should_ be impossible. Yet Thanos could not deny what he was seeing, and the wretched, hopeless, feeling cursing every fiber of his being.

The silence of space was broken, the sound of the universe dying reaching his ears, and it oddly sounded like himself wailing.

* * *

 **A/N: ANOTHER CHAPTER BETA'D BY ASSBITCH67! No I'm not back, this is just a prologue I decided to give as a treat for a very important reason which you will find in my little note at the bottom. But first, let's reply to some reviews!**

 **To AngelElmarlienHenning, hope you enjoyed this update and you know I can't answer that without giving spoilers. All I'll say is that I guess it depends on what happens in Avengers 4.**

 **To Faora, I am SO SORRY to hear that you went through that my friend, I'm glad you kept on going and even though we don't know each other I'm hella proud of you.**

 **To LoveFiction2018, I'm sorry!**

 **To Guest, thank you for the big positive compliment, I truly do believe we all have a little bit of Amelia in us, or the potential to be like her, a fighter that continues even after every dark moment.**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, you'll find out soon enough! I hope you enjoyed the prologue**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, intense is good, that's normally what I'm aiming for lol. And thank you so much for your kind words, they mean a lot!**

 **To The Observer 2.O, yes she's broken again, but she truly has changed as a person, as you'll see through the course of part five. Steve doesn't mean to be manipulative, and he'll be taking some time away too to think over his actions, don't you worry. I love that you brought out the Charles Xavier moment, that made me cry like a wee baby and probably inspired this story more than I thought just cause that quote is something that stuck with me. I don't know which milestone means more lol, the one hundred chapters on here, or the actual one-hundredth chapter. I've kind of weaved my plan in a way that the hundredth one is a good one which we'll all be looking forward to. And actually, that's very true, I sort of just figured 'well Steve is her home so she's got it now' but no, you're right. I also changed it to stick with a new theme I've got going on, Amelia gets connected with the stars a lot, and in my new fanfic BBF Adelaine has a connected to Earth. I'm not sure what element I'll choose for my Peter fic character, I'm thinking water currently. Tbh she's the same height, idk, it made sense to me at the time but I admit I probably made a mistake. And yes, in the MCU's Infinity War he doesn't really, but in this fanfic there's a character that has sort of had a big affect on Steve and will continue to, Amelia.**

 **To Evilhyperpicie13, I'm afraid I can't answer your questions lol, you'll just have to wait and see ;)**

 **To Sam0728, I'm sorry! I'm trying to write the chapters quickly so I can get off hiatus asap so have faith! AND NO SPOILERS, BUT YOUR QUESTION IS PRETTY MUCH GOING TO BE ANSWERED IN THE NEXT TWO CHAPTERS**

 **To BrittStar1199, you have quite literally inspired a certain character that will feature in part five, I hope you like her. And agreed, she does need a major character development! LETS HOPE THE AUTHOR OF THIS STORY DOES ONE IN PART FIVE!**

 **To Pitspee, as much as I know it's bad for them both, I can't help but want the same thing. I love when those two are together, writing their fluff scenes is so fun and imma miss it. And thank you for your patience!**

 **To Assbitch67, how about three dogs? I might have three dogs hidden away somewhere ;) AND FINE I'LL GET MY OWN BLOODY RAMEN, how rude.**

 **To LadyAmazon, oh my god that's my life goal too! The cottage in the woods one. But then I have a real fear of bugs so it'd probably be a terrible idea for me. And lol I don't think she'd dare sell it, that ring literally represents her dream life with her dream man, that sort of shit is priceless.**

 **To shugokake, oh wow that's such a huge compliment, THANK YOU SO MUCH!**

 **To rosequartz121, PLEASE COME BACK TO LIFE OR YOU'LL MISS PART FIVE! And ohmygod thank you so much for feeling so passionate about this project, it means the world to me that you care. And thank you for answering my question, it was helpful! You'll see why in this fic I promise! I know this prologue doesn't exactly heal your suffering but hopefully it'll get you a lil bit hyped for part five?**

 **And now, an open letter to my readers:**

 **Okay, so, I've kind of sorta hit 100,000 reads on this fanfic and my mind is kind of being blown right now. I know I say thank you a lot, and I mean it everytime, so me saying thank you right now might sound repetitive but I can't help it. If only you guys could understand what you've given me. Which is why I'm writing this note, to tell you all the whole truth. I spoke to my Mexican soul mate (Assbitch67) and she agreed I should share this so here I am, please understand I'm not saying all this for attention or anything like that, I'm just telling a story. My story.**

 **You've heard bits and pieces here and there, how I was abused and stuff. But I'm about to go into detail, so, trigger warning. It started the day I was born honestly, my sister wasn't very kind and would try to drown me, my dad wasn't there because after I was born my parents divorced and my dad got insanely ill with a lot of mental illnesses and physical ones, and my mum was sort of busy I guess. My brother was cool though, he's a pretty swell guy. Anyway, through the years I got a stepdad who I never saw cause of his job and my sister got kicked out for letting her behaviour get out of hand, that left me and my mum. She was very big on the emotional abuse, I was constantly being put down, made to feel worthless, I had to dress and look a certain way and my entire time going to school she'd constantly tell me I needed to pretend to be someone else, because of course being myself was a crime. There was the odd physical abuse, she once locked me in a bathroom and cut up my arms, telling me I was ruining her life by self harming. And then, one day, in July last year, her and my stepdad were hungover and started screaming at me. I'm not sure why, but that one time I screamed back. I think I'd grown frustrated, I was 19 and still being abused, and I couldn't understand it even though I'd had it my entire life. They beat me up, took my phone, and kicked me out. I remember wandering the streets crying like a crazy person, thankfully one of the neighbours who'd knocked on my door at one point wanting to talk about Jesus saw me and she gave me more help then I deserved.**

 **I managed to get to my brothers house, I tried talking to my dad (who had taken both my sister and brother in after they left my mums) but he wouldn't take me in, I've realised it's because he doesn't actually believe I'm his daughter, which was something he told me a lot when I was growing up but I put it down to his bipolar disorder mixed with the schizophrenia and depression. The one friend I had came through for me at least and I got to stay at hers for three weeks, then I went into a hostel.**

 **By this point, I just didn't feel alive anymore. I felt like I was hanging on by the thinnest thread and the only thing I had - no home, no family, no money - was writing. So I started writing this dumb little story that I didn't think would go anywhere. I liked it because it helped me get out all my rage.**

 **Then February came, and I'm ashamed to admit that I let go of that thread. I tried to kill myself. It didn't work, security at the hostel found me and I ended up in hospital for three days. I never got that regret people talk about, I genuinely wanted to die. Whilst in the hospital, no one came to see me. I got a rude text off my mum, but other than that, no one cared. So when I got back to the hostel, I was already planning on how I could do it again and do it more effectively.**

 **During that time, I made a decision to post my stupid little story. I never expected people to read it, or to like it. But you guys came along, and some of you even left reviews appreciating my work. So I continued on, I forgot about when my next attempt would be and I continued on with posting chapters. Infinity War blessed our lives, and I carried on and carried on and carried on. Just writing out all my pain, and by doing so, I gained _you guys_.**

 **Some of you may feel insignificant, hell some of you might even be going through what I was, but please, if you take ANYTHING away from this letter, know that you gave my life actual _purpose_. You made me smile, you made me get out of bed in the morning, you made me shower and you made me _live on_. I can never say thank you enough for what you've all fucking provided me with. I went from being so alone, with no one at my side, to having all of you. You didn't just give me 100,000 reads and a lot of reviews either, you gave me love, something I'd never felt growing up. You guys would share so much love and I never really know what to do with other than say thank you because before it was such a rarity. I still don't really know what to do with it tbh.**

 **This story isn't the best story out there, every word isn't spelt correctly, every sentence isn't correct, there are some chapters (or parts, not naming names but part two) that I wish I could go back to and change. It isn't deserving of 100,000 reads, and neither am I. But I have them, I have more than I could ever ask for all because of you guys simply reading a chapter.**

 **You are so important, and amazing, even by doing the simplest thing you can literally save someones life. Don't ever doubt yourself and please, from someone who's gone through it and is still going through it, to you, don't ever feel like you're unwanted or unneeded.**

 **Just look at your hands, your fingers. Move them. Wiggle them around, make them dance. You're alive right now. You're fucking alive and that is fucking amazing. You have so much to give without even trying, just smiling at a person. Hell, just you breathing makes me proud. So please keep continuing.**

 **And thank you, so _fucking_ much. I'll see in chapter ninety-five soon-ish!**


	101. Chapter Ninety-Five

**CHAPTER NINETY-FIVE**

* * *

"Part of her mystery is how she is calm in the storm and anxious in the quiet."

― **JmStorm**

* * *

Dawn carried light across the blue waves, white foam lapping at the beaches shore, pulling in sand and giving back an array of items that had travelled through currents, hoards of sea creatures, and storms, journeying far just to end up on that beach in the middle of nowhere. Much like Artemis, a lost warrior who had endured so many trials, travelled so far, just end up on that beach in the middle of nowhere.

She belonged in a small hut just far enough away from the shore that her home didn't get destroyed on stormy nights when the water was trying to consume the last bit of land left uncovered. Artemis always imagined that the ocean was doing it like a father would covering up an underdressed daughter, ashamed of what was being revealed.

Included in her little hut was a balcony on the second floor connecting to her bedroom, she would sit on the balcony on a plastic chair, her feet pressed up against her chest and a cup of hot milk in her hand. She hadn't had hot chocolate in two years, and she still wasn't a fan of coffee, but the brunette needed something warm to drink as her location wasn't exactly a sunny destination. Artemis hadn't gone to a hot beachy location, those places were always filled with tourists when what Artemis needed was isolation, so instead of somewhere like Spain or Rio, she'd picked England. It was cold and rainy most of the time and barely anyone that travelled to England went to the small beach land she resided, any tourists wanted to only explore London which she'd stayed far away from. She didn't really mind the lack of heat anyway, considering how much black she wore if the brunette was living in a city with a constant summer than she'd spend more of her life passed out than anything else. Besides, she found some solace in the cold, it's sharpness reminded her that she was alive.

Because of her home's location, the sunrise wasn't especially beautiful. Grey clouds covered the sky, reaching out so far they touched the horizon and that shade was mirrored in the ocean that was more silver than blue. Pink peaked between small holes in the clouds, telling Artemis that there was beauty and colour somewhere, just not where she was. Despite the lack of inordinate colours, there was a serene silence that lacked in life yet was paradoxically filled with it at the same time. The waves hushed as they carressed the land, seagull's cried in the distance and a breeze howled among the cliffs that reached up towards the sky in the corner of her vision.

She should have felt at peace. For the past two years, Artemis would sit in that exact spot at the exact same time, looking over the vacant ocean, waiting for a sense of peace to wash over her.

It never came. The only sensation that ever seemed to drown her in those quiet moments was loneliness, not in the overwhelming way that would cause a person to shrivel, but in an exhausting way that would demand her to simply go back to bed. Most of the time she would, there wasn't a lot that required her immediate attention as Artemis lived a life of quaint luxury. During her first few months of staying in her beach shack, alone with her thoughts, the brunette had endured angry thoughts. It was difficult to not be angry with the way her life had fallen apart, it almost felt unfair, but after sitting with her anger for so long she'd come to know it better as grief.

Behind her, she heard the patter of feet against floorboards, company making their way towards her hastily, the tapping against the wood loud enough to break Artemis from her early morning reverie and so she turned her head to face the only members of her family on the island; an easy and lazy smile curved her lips as she stretched out one hand towards her three babies.

Squidgy, Scrumpy and Junior, the three pet dogs that she'd become the mother of. Squidgy was a black and white Springer Spaniel as spotty as a dalmation with one eye which stared in an uncustomary direction, she was slightly dopey, and the first dog that Artemis had acquired on her first day on the beach side, finding her abandoned wandering the beach without a collar. Scrumpy - a black and brown Doberman - was another stray that she'd actually found on her journey home back from getting Junior from a kennel, the brunette had decided that she needed more company and that Squidgy could do with the same, so her friend had taken her to a kennel in the nearest city a few miles away and at the kennel they'd found a rather large Boxer who instantly became very comfortable with her. Scrumpy had been too thin for Artemis to just pass the dog by, and she _had_ said that she wanted more company so it only made sense to take the other dog in.

It was just like having kids and they took up all of her time which is what she'd really needed to stop her mind from overthinking menial things and resurfacing the humongous events that were simply better off left in the past.

"Alright I get it," she sighed as the three dogs began to jump up onto her lap, clearly desiring her attention as she'd been sat watching the sun rise since four in the morning. "Time for breakfast, I know," she continued to huff as she drank the rest of her hot milk that had gone the horrible kind of cold that had her entire face cringing at the curdled taste.

Artemis wandered back into the house with dogs jumping up at her feet as she did so, they all knew where she was going. It was only slightly warmer than the weather outside. The stairs creaked loudly into the silence of their home as she pursued her journey into the kitchen that wasn't as full as the one she'd had back at the Avenger's facility. The fridge and cupboards were tragically bare but that was mostly down to there only being a gas station nearby which sold food, there wasn't any actual food stores.

The gas station at least sold dog food though so she didn't need to be concerned in that department. Her eyes kept straying over to the kitchen window as she prepared the food for the dogs in their three different coloured bowls that her and her friend had painted together. It was her friend that she was looking out for, the only other human living by the beach that had made herself known a few months after Artemis had arrived.

"When do you reckon she'll get here?" The brunette asked after placing down the bowls for all the dogs, all three of them immediately rushing over to eat their breakfast. She stepped back towards the counter, leaning against it and curving her neck so she could look through the window to the walk way she'd expected her friend to be walking down. "I asked her to be here by six because of my flight." It was more the journey that had her concerned as it was a long drive to the closest city which had an airport in it and traffic could have ended up being quite an issue for her so she'd have liked to set off sooner than later.

No matter how long she stared at the worn path, no one appeared, so the brunette turned back to her dogs. "Are you gonna miss me puppo's?" None of them gave her a reaction, too concerned with consuming their meal as fast as possible. Artemis wasn't insulted, she'd realised after their first week together what their priorities were. Food, of course. She'd have been quite hypocritical if she judged them for loving food so much.

Artemis felt nervous, and she couldn't shake that feeling off of herself. She'd had it since waking up, and it had settled in her heart like a resilient infection. The brunette knew it was mostly because of her nightmare, but there was something else. A trip she'd promised to take.

Wanda had called her up a few weeks ago, telling her of how she and Vision would be going to Scotland and that they wanted Artemis to also join them. She'd of course been resistant to the idea. Artemis hadn't left her beach home - excluding visiting the city nearby - since she'd arrived there two years ago. But Wanda had been determined, and there were only so many times that the brunette was able to say no to her. That didn't mean her heart wasn't burdened for the following two weeks leading up to the visit.

She had packed and unpacked her bag five times the day before and that reflected the way her mind had been, constantly switching between actually going and just cancelling the trip altogether. It was a big deal for her. Though she knew that _he_ wouldn't be there, Wanda and Vis were both a part of her old life that she'd neglected and refused to face.

There was a knock on the door and Artemis immediately untensed her body. "Oh, I wonder who that could be," she commented to the dogs who'd started barking. Talking to her dogs was one of the reasons she'd decided it would be a good thing to see her old friends. Artemis had gotten way too comfortable having one-sided conversations with animals that she knew would never reply.

Her journey to her door was short, the chipped, painted blue, door, more glass than anything else so she easily saw the wrinkled face of her friend. At her age, the woman should have one foot already in the grave with a wonky gait full of arthritic joints and teeth that fell out every time she spoke. Were it not for the wrinkles on her face though, Artemis would have believed the woman to be sixty at most as the elderly lady possessed such a sharp mind and moved with such easy motions, an echo of youth hiding behind her sagging skin.

Sometimes Artemis wanted to pull the skin away to see who that girl was. She imagined that the short grey bob had once been a untamed mane curling around sun-kissed skin made of porcelain, someone that permanently had a grin fixed on their face and a determined tone singing in her voice. Artemis never did have to pull off the layers though, because that girl was easy to find when she listened to her words, and payed attention to her smile, to her eyes, that youth was still in there as much as she ever was.

"Hey Gran," the brunette greeted with familiarity and the elderly woman walked into the shack immediately, like it was her own home. The woman wasn't actually her Grandma, of course, she wasn't that would be absurd considering all of her family excluding her brother was dead by that point. But after meeting the elderly woman, that was what she'd asked to be called, stating that it was what all her friends called her. At first, Artemis had found it a little difficult getting used to calling a stranger 'Gran', but a Grandma was always something she'd wanted so the puzzle piece fit into place in a way.

"Hey Art, sorry I'm late," Gran responded, already bending down to greet the three excited dogs that had calmed down after realising that their visitor wasn't any sort of threat.

She waved her hand towards her elder nonchalantly, "It's fine, you're only ten minutes late."

"But I'm sure you were acting like I was an hour late before I arrived," Gran replied knowingly as Junior pushed his way into of the pack so that the woman could give him a good pet behind the ears, meanwhile Scrumpy nudged Gran with her nose and Squidgy was already rolling on the floor, revealing her belly. "Wasn't she Junior? I bet she was!" She continued to coo at the dog.

Artemis just rolled her eyes, used to the elder's sarcastic and sassy behaviour, it was probably the reason why they'd become such good friends because it meant that the brunette was allowed to return with her own bantered comebacks. Moving on from Gran's comments, she began to walk around the house, busying herself by grabbing the small suitcase and backpack, doing anything she could to keep her mind unaware of approaching arguments of why she shouldn't bother going on the trip. She'd done that enough times.

"Okay, so there's money on top of the fridge for dog food and also a little extra as a thank you for dog sitting whilst I'm gone," she was pointing all around the house, not essentially just at the fridge, she was also throwing her hands around to the dogs and then pieces of furniture, organising her mind.

"Great, so I can go get myself some gas station candy," Gran joked, moving to lean against the blue-ish grey couch Artemis owned.

"The best type," she replied with a small laugh before turning back to being serious, "remember that Squidgy can be let off the lead but Scrumpy can't, don't let her pull you though, I'm training Junior right now to be off lead but if you don't feel comfortable his is the black lead not the pink one. Feed them in the morning and-"

"At six, make sure they're water bowls are constantly filled up, and don't let Scrumpy out of my sight or she'll find something to rip up. I've known you for over a year Art, I know how to take care of your dogs." Gran reminded, huffing slightly as she stood slightly taller, hating how Artemis was treating her like some sort of stranger there for a job, though a part of her did understand that it was mostly down to the poor girls panic.

"Right, sorry, it's just my first time away from them," she turned back to her dogs and began to pet them all, crouching onto the floor so she could be closer to them and immediately finding all of them trying to shove their tongue in her face.

"They'll be fine, I'm the one taking care of them after all," Gran phrased it like she was just trying to be haughty, but there was some comfort to be found in her words. The elderly woman looked over to the two bags Artemis would be taking. "You didn't pack all that much, where are you going?"

"I'm just going to spend the next two days with my little sister and her boyfriend," Artemis picked up the backpack off of the suitcase and put it on. The backpack was just all the stuff she'd need on the plane which was hardly anything, just some crafts stuff. She was making a scrapbook for her dogs, and that was what she planned to fill her hour long flight with. Meanwhile the suitcase had her two outfits inside of it, all of which were black, of course.

"They've finally managed to lure you from your beach hut, huh?"

"Something like that, yeah." It was more like they'd dragged her out, but she wasn't going to admit that to the woman before her who would end up using her self-isolating antics against her in the future. Looking over to the clock, it was nearing quarter-past six which was the time she'd been aiming to leave for. "Alright, I better set off, you've got my number and the number of the hotel I'll be staying at in case anything bad happens, please don't have a heart attack or anything whilst I'm gone."

"I'll try my best." There was a slight bit of venom licking her words but the humour of the situation still bubbled beneath them, it was the exact same way the brunette would sarcastically joke. Gran watched as she finished saying goodbye to her 'puppo's and then left through the front door. She didn't make it very far as Gran followed behind her and called out her name. "Artemis."

She immediately turned around, a tiny part of herself almost hopeful that some catastrophe might have happened in the short second she'd stepped out of her house which would require her staying. "Yeah?"

"You've forgotten your suitcase," the elderly woman reached out and pulled the tiny black case into the doorway.

"Oh, right, ha," Artemis fumbled, blushing. She'd managed to be so organised before, but of course there'd always be something that she'd forget. Still, the brunette tried to throw out some excuse that would stop Gran from seeing her as more of an idiot than she had before. "I had another dream so I'm tired, sorry, _now_ I'm gonna go."

"Of the hospital?" Gran asked despite Artemis' attempt at an exit, the elderly woman didn't meet her eyes despite the curious question, as though she was trying to seem less interested than she actually was.

Artemis looked at the car then back to the elderly woman, eventually coming to the conclusion that she'd stop for one more minute. In some ways Artemis wanted to actually talk about her dream with someone, and Gran was the perfect person as there were very few things the elder didn't know about her already. There was just something about the aged woman that broke through all of Artemis' walls, something that made sharing especially easy for the brunette. "No, actually, this one was quite strange. I was on a spaceship on Thor's- do you know who Thor is? The Asgardian god that helped with New York and Ultron?" Gran nodded her head. "Yeah, well he was there, and his brother, and they were fighting this giant purple dude. The purple dude took a stone off Thor's brother and then they all… uh, they all died in the end. That's- That's when I woke up."

Speaking about it felt strange for her, sure, it had replayed over and over again in her mind after she'd woken up but like any other dream it had faded over time and because it was her dream she hadn't really questioned it much. Artemis was used to dark dreams, death didn't really affect her anymore. So actually saying the words out loud helped her realise what she'd really seen. Thor, a close friend when he was down on Earth, dying because of some sort of warrior. And that stone, it had to be the Space Stone, that would explain why she'd felt so broken-hearted when waking up.

Artemis had frozen on the spot, eyebrows squishing closer together whilst her eyes glared at the ground. She was going through the dream again only that time she was analysing all the details left in her mind.

Unbeknownst to the brunette, the older woman was finally looking towards her, concern bending her lips downward and making even more wrinkles fold on her forehead. "Art-"

"I'm sure it means nothing," she reassured abruptly, "I mean, it's absurd, a giant purple guy? Like yeah, sure, I've seen androids and aliens before but the dude literally looked like a thumb. It- It can't be real." But her hand was tightening around the suitcase, turning almost white, and Gran had noticed.

"Artemis listen to me." The elderly woman began to step towards her, reaching out with her own wrinkled and calloused hand so she could place it on top of Artemis', trying to untighten the deathly grip she had on the case. Artemis did look to her, black eyes meeting an earthy brown, Gran nodded over to her backpack next. "Put your bag down."

"Are you okay, Gran?" It took her a moment to recognise the expression on her Grandma's face, _fear_.

"I have something I need to tell you, something very important," her speech had become slightly more rushed, more panicked, "oh god, I thought I had more _time_."

"Gran, you're starting to scare me." Artemis did as was requested of her, taking the backpack off of her shoulder and placing it on top of the suitcase. Once her hands were free she pressed them at the side of her Gran's arms, "do you want me to stay here?" Was it wrong of her to use the elderly woman's fright as an excuse to not go to Scotland?

"Just, listen." Gran pushed, patting gratefully on the comforting touch Artemis had offered but not changing from the earnest unease that had creeped upon her. Her gaze suddenly became sharper, making Artemis incapable of looking away. "Before I start, I _need_ you to promise me that you will listen to what I have to say first of all, and then please actually consider my words before rejecting me."

"I'm going to need a little more information before I make a promise." She was a lot more careful with who she gave her promises to ever since the incident two years ago, when she did give them, Artemis made sure that they were full-proof, that she wouldn't be able to break them and break a heart in the process.

"I know your thing about promises, but this is important," Gran continued, restless and relentless, words waiting on the tip of her tongue needing to be said. " _Please_ Artemis."

It was Gran's desperation that managed to sway her, that, and the trickle of a tear that stroked down her cheek shining like a star that had escaped from the night sky. "O- Okay, I promise."

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 **A/N: HELLO! I'M A WEEK LATE AND I'M REALLY SORRY BUT MY HEAD WENT BAD FOR A BIT but I'm halfway to better now, I'm able to write again, thank you for all of your patience. Who's excited to get into part five? I am!**

 **Now to the reviews, I just want to start this off with a big thank you to everyone. I read them all twice when my head got bad, and I cried a lot. Again, I feel like thank you isn't enough but it's all that I can say. That, and I can carry on writing for you and not give up ^^ THANK YOU!**

 **To CrumblingUniverses, this was beautiful to read and just wow, I struggle so much seeing myself as inspirational and a strong badass, but hearing you say those things to me filled me with indescribable warmth. If people can see me this way, then who's to say I'm not? I'm so humungously touched to hear that this story has helped you in some way, that's all I can ever hope for when putting a big part of myself out there. Thank you for your kind words and I hope you continue to enjoy the story.**

 **To Faora, not weird at all, I'm cyber hugging you back. Thank you for such kind words, I'll do my best to believe them! And I'm glad you enjoyed the prologue so much, including the humorous parts. And I make no promises on Steve and Amelia getting back together!**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, ahhhh I'm reading these again and crying thank you so much, I don't care how dumb it is hearing you say you're proud of me makes me so happy cause like hey look at me go, making someone proud. I'm sorry if the hiatus concerned you, my brain did get pretty down for a moment but I'm slowly working my way back up to being me again, and my inbox is always open to you, I feel like you've been here for so long and I'm so happy you're still actually here.**

 **To AngelElmarlienHenning, sorry the update took so long but I'm back now and SHOULD be posting every day again, hope you enjoyed this one**

 **To BrittStar1199, you kind of met her in this chapter but you won't really see her going ham until much later on, technically Amelia's already gone through it all by this point and this is the transformed version lol**

 **To LoveFiction2018, still looking good? I know this is quite different from the prologue but that's kind of the point**

 **To RavagerRoseWilson, haha I go to lurksville too whenever I read stuff so it's cool, and thank you for making this little trip to tell me that. Also, well done for reading all of this over one weekend, I applaud you and I'm very touched by your dedication.**

 **To shugokage, an incredible prologue to read into an incredible part five, the chapters from here might seem a little meh but that's the point and I apologise if they're boring lol**

 **To Guest, oh wow, I cry every time I read this one cause it makes me sort of believe in myself a little more so thank you and you have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that this story is a part of your life, an unforgettable part as well. It's overwhelming and insane to me.**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, thank you ^^ And I'm wondering the same thing too! I'm so excited to get into this part and just have her reuniting with everyone. I've written the scene already where she reunites with Steve and just the feels man, the feels. Glad to hear your excited too!**

 **To Pitspee, ahaha 'queen artemis is coming bow down or bow out' that's brilliant. No, Tony and her never made up, but there's always hope and you'll see more on the situation as the chapters go on. And umm, so, no, that isn't in the plan but would you mind if I did that? That is a beautiful idea, I'll give you credit? - Onto the second review, it seems so strange hearing people call me a badass considering how low I got but thank you for calling me strong and believing in me, like I said, it helps me believe in myself. And wow, hearing what this story is to you honestly makes me speechless and I hate that all I can say is thank you because it doesn't feel like it's enough, I just hope you know the joy your reviews bring me and just god dammit I need to stop crying right now. Thank you so much for everything you've given me.**

 **To pen2paper87, there was no rambling or repeating, just extremely touching words, I don't really know how to reply to this one, it's very powerful and has opened my eyes a lot. I truly never looked at it that way. I can't describe how much I suddenly love this story, thank you for that. And thank you for leaving this review, all reviews mean something to me, but the replies I've gotten are something I'm going to keep with me forever and read whenever I get low again. Thank you.**

 **To Sam0728, SAME but it might not be what you're expecting ;) Goddamn, I'm terrible at keeping my mouth shut with this sort of stuff lol**

 **To Assbitch67, ahhhhh thank you Mexican Twin and Soul Mate Best Friend, I'm sorry for making you cry (Again), thank you for being here for me and shut up (in the politest way possible) I'm the one who should be honoured your spending your time helping me!**

 **And wow, I'm done replying to all the reviews. Honestly I don't feel like I said enough, I don't feel like I ever again, just know that even if we don't really talk all that much I love you and I'm eternally grateful for the light you bring in my life. Why am I so cheesy right now? I have no idea, but it doesn't matter. I mean what I say.**

 **Thank you to everyone that read the chapter, I look forward to seeing you all again tomorrow ^^**


	102. Chapter Ninety-Six

**CHAPTER NINETY-SIX**

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"That's _what people do who love you. They put their arms around you and love you when you're not so lovable."_

 _ **― Deb Caletti**_

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Artemis sat on her flight over to Scotland staring at the scrapbook open on the small table in front of her, a glue stick in her hand with pictures of her dogs to the side. Her mind, however, was not on that flight. It was definitely flying somewhere, revisiting the dream she'd had, mulling over Gran's parting words to her, and then worrying about her destination.

Really it was a surprise she'd actually made it onto the flight, but after hearing what Gran had had to say, Artemis practically ran onto the flight, simply wanting to escape. It wasn't until she was up in the air that the brunette realised exactly what she'd done and that there truly was no turning back. Well, she could have probably flown her way back to the beach but without her aerial equipment from Tony that would have been quite difficult for her.

Wanda wasn't the first person from her past that Artemis ended up getting into contact with. Surprisingly, a month after disappearing, a certain redhead turned blonde-haired agent had appeared on her doorway, with a very unimpressed and unamused expression on her face. Her hands rested on a jutted out hip and a frown curved her rose-petal lips.

"N- Nat." Surprised didn't summarise enough how much Artemis hadn't been expecting the random visit from Natasha. Rather than seeing an old friend, it was more like seeing a ghost, not a blast from the past but an unwanted haunting which had politely knocked on her door. She knew it was definitely a haunting because friendly ghosts didn't possess as spiteful glares as the one Natasha was wearing on her expression.

Artemis hadn't been sure what she expected the ghost to sound like, a howl on the wind, a friendly embrace carried by words, or a slap in the face. What she got was something as equally as cold as a dead body, callous, Natasha's voice empty of it's usual charm. "Amelia." If the brunette had ever had a mother, she imagined that was exactly how it would sound when her mother would disappointedly utter her name.

"What are you doing here?" She found her words slowly though her tongue felt like dry lead in her mouth. It was the loudest question among millions; how had she got there? Why was she there? How did Natasha learn where she was? Did Steve know where she was as well?

It was that last question in her mind that scared her most, transforming any excitement at seeing one of her closest friends into aversion. Natasha wasn't allowed to be there because no one was allowed to be there, if even one person knew of her whereabouts then that information could spread to the people that she really didn't want to know.

"Nice to see you too," Nat clicked her tongue slightly as she began to truly take in the little beach shack. It had clearly been refurbished but the walls outside were still worn, dark brown flecks of wood appearing under the chipped white paint. The windows looked like they were on their last leg, covered in dirt, and the shutters were hanging off slightly. It wasn't at all the kind of place Nat thought Amelia would end up after hearing so many times about the 'lovely little farm cottage' that would be surrounded by just green. Perhaps that was the point though, she realised.

Artemis was aware of Natasha's judging gaze but it didn't matter so much when she was feeling almost invaded. She was looking around too, making sure that there was no one around even though it was very unlikely that there would be. "No offense, but no one's supposed to know where I am. And no one's supposed to know that my real names Amelia, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't call me that." She was only making up an excuse, the real reason she detested hearing that name was because she detested the person it belonged to.

"Right, cause there are so many people around here that'll overhear me calling you your _name_ ," Natasha rolled her eyes, having already decided on the trip over that she was done with coddling the brunette, that wasn't what she was there to do. The super spy only had one mission on that day: to get Amelia Stark back into the world.

The brunette was barely able to meet her old friend's eyes, already able to predict where the conversation would go and she simply couldn't be bothered with it. "My names Artemis now," she corrected, perfecting the cold tone in her voice, hoping she'd be able to mirror it in her heart.

"Oh, so you really are running away," Nat snapped, "I don't know why but I was expecting better of you."

Artemis' eyes flew over to the blonde's, silent for a moment as she took in Natasha's words. Of course that's what her friend thought, really Artemis had no reason to blame her for making up such an assumption when running away had always been her specialty, Rebecca had been the first to see it and eventually the rest of the team had begun to see her avoidance tactics for what they were truly were. But being there, in that shack, was not her running away. It was the complete opposite.

"I'm not running away," she replied with a voice as equally as sharp as Natasha's had been, "I've just erased Amelia from existence because I _had_ to." Artemis couldn't tell her friend about the baby as the news could end up going back to Steve, so instead, she decided to try and make her friend at least understand what her reason was. "Don't pretend like you're not doing the exact same thing, you've dyed your hair blonde and you probably don't go around telling everyone your names Natasha Romanoff."

"Because people are currently trying to imprison me," Nat scoffed, incapable of seeing how her avoiding the barrel of a gun was in anyway similar to her friend shying away from a fight with her man, "you're fine, the only reason you're here right now is to run away like you always do."

She wasn't running away though, for once she had gone through something horrifying and, rather than avoiding it at all costs, she was trying her best to heal. To face the demons before they could get their talons in her shoulders like she'd allowed everything else too. Artemis was done with running and hiding and pretending like things were fine when they weren't, doing all of that led to her baby dying and her wonderful relationship with Steve Rogers falling apart.

The brunette had reached her lowest point, buried herself in a grave of ash, she was there to rise up from the ruin - for her baby.

"You never answered my question, what are you doing here?" Artemis became even stricter, pushier. There was no way of telling Nat about the baby so there was no way of changing her mind, there was no point in trying.

"Steve told me that he just left you after a big fight, and as your best friend, it's my duty to make sure that you're okay. I went to the compound expecting to find you but you were nowhere. Which of course had me insanely worried," Nat explained and Artemis did actually feel a little guilty at that news; she had, after all, just left without a single word to anyone, not even stopping to say goodbye to her brother, the last family member she had left. Natasha continued with her story, "I hacked into Tony's computer system and found his file on you, and I couldn't believe what I was reading. That you abandoned everything about your old life. And why? Because of a broken heart? I thought I taught you better than to let a boy make this kind of impact on your life."

"Okay, first of all, you have no idea what you're talking about. And second of all, you don't get to talk to me like that." Her gaze was as stormy as the sea behind them, rage over the condescending words her supposed best friend was saying to her, even if they were accidental just because of lack of information. Artemis believed that if they truly were friends than the blonde wouldn't be talking to her like that.

"And you don't get to throw your family, and your identity, away. I'd be a bad friend if I allowed you to do that," Natasha argued, her gaze freezing over with ice.

"You're being a bad friend right now, I clearly wanted to be left alone, why couldn't you just give me that?" Artemis' voice began to rise.

Natasha had no issue meeting her pitch, "because it's stupid, Amelia."

" _Artemis_. Amelia's dead."

"No, she's not. She's standing right in front of me and as per usual she's being an idiot." Natasha raised a hand up towards the brunette, but on her face was barely hidden disgust, as though she couldn't recognise her either. "You and Steve had a fight. Yeah, it was pretty big, but it wasn't the end of the world. There are people that need you right now, Tony needs you. As much as he won't admit it, he's going through a tough time after the Avenger's break up, as well as the news of his parents, so having you there would be a big deal. He's so out of touch he wasn't quick enough to get me out of his computer systems." Natasha was saying all the right words to ignite remorse, but the thing was, it was already there. Artemis couldn't be Amelia for her family because she needed to heal before she was of use to anyone, especially Tony. If she stayed at home, then all that would have happened was more shame being put on Tony and their relationship completely falling apart.

"As your best friend, I'm here to tell you that you're being dumb and inconsiderate and childish," she sounded almost like a mother as she hissed towards the brunette, throwing out insults like they were gospel.

"Go away." Artemis' voice was quieter than she'd wanted, because as much as rage swam through her there was also sadness. It was another relationship lost. But the brunette couldn't just sit there and be repeatedly insulted by someone who did not see the full picture, and she could not fix that, so she was done.

Natasha blinked towards her friend, having not expected that reaction. It wasn't how their arguments normally went, usually Amelia would have an array of remarks to throw back but the brunette was just... giving up? That could only mean one thing, Amelia was hiding something from her. "Are you kidding me?"

"Natasha, get the fuck away from me right now before I turn you, this house, and this entire beach into dust." Her words were fuelled by fire, not logic. "You've come here with your own conclusion and I don't really give enough of a shit to bother hearing more. Amelia Stark is dead because that's what _I decided_ , and I'll be sticking with that decision for a while. So fuck off, and don't bother coming back."

"You're making a huge mistake." Natasha coming there was supposed to be another chance for Artemis to get some redemption, to fix all her messed up relationships and allow them all to move on. Maybe not together, but if at least Amelia was there, then they'd be closer to the family that once existed.

"Just get the fuck out!" She screamed and the walls shook, a shutter finally giving up and dropping to the floor as Amelia hastily rushed back into her home, shutting the door and walking far enough away that Natasha wouldn't be able to see her through the window.

Artemis found a corner in her kitchen that wasn't covered in so much dust. She sat herself there, knees against her stomach and her head laid on her kneecaps. She wrapped her hands around her ankles, and felt the cold metal of Steve's promise ring around her finger. If Artemis was a volcano, then that ring was the catalyst to her explosion. A guttural roar of rage came from her throat as she yanked the ring off of her finger and threw it harshly across the room.

"You're right," Natasha said through the door, all anger gone, just disappointment, "you're not Amelia Stark."

No, she wasn't. How could she be such a monster? The woman that had killed her baby for the sake of a man that could only give her back lies. She couldn't possibly be that sort of person anymore, she couldn't continue on being the kind of person that made people hurt. The kind of person that would willingly hurt herself.

She sat in that corner for longer than she could probably count. Until the sun had finally set and the moon had rose again, until her mind and her eyes were emptied of their burdens and left with just regrets. One of which, the loudest one, was that she'd thrown Steve's ring aside and she had no idea where it was.

Panic set in immediately and she began to scour through her home. When simply looking didn't work, she began to lift up pieces of furniture, throwing them aside. Still she had no luck and by that point she could barely breathe, as though that simple ring was the very life force which kept her conscious. How stupid, Artemis had thought as she continued to destroy her new home in the search for that tiny piece of metal.

She eventually found it beneath two floorboards that it must have slipped between when she threw it, and it was a good thing she'd found it then as the brunette was close to turning the entire house into dust. As soon as it was back in her grasp she put it back on, and then, despite having cried out all of her tears gone, a sob did escape because actually changing into the person that she wanted to be was proving to be harder than she'd hoped.

Everything was still so raw. The break-up, the miscarriage, it all still felt like poison under her skin, coiling around her bones, making an imprint on her heart. Having Natasha appear seemed to have sped up the slow death.

Still, she'd survived that night as she'd survived everything else and the pain of it all slowly faded. That wasn't the last time Natasha visited her, but the second time things were much more different.

Artemis wasn't sure why that second visit had gone so differently, though her best guess was that she hadn't immediately recoiled at the thought of there being company anymore and that was all down to Gran.

The first time she saw the elderly woman was when she'd been peering out of her kitchen window, the view stretching from a small path atop of a hill, all the way to the beach, making her able to see the horizon which created the illusion that it was the end of the earth. Sometimes she'd wanted to swim over to it, a small bit of herself hoping that maybe it really would be the end that she saw.

Standing on top of the hill had been a stranger, a woman that seemed impossible considering all of Artemis' knowledge on the beach said it was deserted. And yet there the woman was, looking over at the beach the same way she had for the past two months during her stay, like it simply wasn't enough. All Artemis had to do though, was blink, and then the woman was gone again. It was like she'd never even really been there in the first place. She shouldn't have.

Knowing that her mind, or the Sentience, had a knack for creating people that weren't people, she simply forgot about it. Artemis had more important things to do. She had a dog that needed taking care of, and a soul that needed reconstructing.

Then a month later Gran and Artemis had their first proper encounter. Artemis was walking across the beach front with Squidgy, she hadn't had a lead for the dog but it didn't matter as the Springer Spaniel was pretty keen to stay by her side anyway. When Artemis first became aware of the other woman's presence, she thought about simply walking away and avoiding her but Squidgy was already running towards the stranger with interest, gaining the woman's attention and making her look over at the brunette, giving the shy girl no choice but to approach her.

"Hello," Artemis greeted curtly with a slight nod.

The old woman didn't even look at her after the first initial glance, she simply turned back to the ocean, watching the waves dance back and forth, like she was waiting for something to jump out of it, something amazing and life changing, something that would give her life meaning. "Hello," she'd at least replied back with, her voice airy and distant.

Artemis knew all about the elderly and how sometimes they could get confused sometimes, the woman seemed to be completely alone and that just spelled out danger for the brunette. "Are you lost?"

"No," she said back simplistically.

The brunette raised an eyebrow, waiting a moment in case the woman had any more to say but she just returned to staring at the waves. "Are you… okay?" She felt condescending asking the question but she didn't want to risk leaving the woman only to find a familiar dead body washing up on the shore later on.

"Hm?" The question seemed to have surprised her a little as her eyes did finally move to her, and it was like she was seeing Artemis for the first time. "Oh, ha," the elder suddenly laughed, making Art become even more convinced that she wasn't really good in the head. "I'm always okay," she said through a few giggles, but even the brunette, who was distracted by her outlandish behaviour, could hear the slight bitterness in her tone.

"Yeah, I get that," Artemis muttered under her breath, turning to face the ocean as well.

"I suppose that's the point of this place though, isn't it?" The elderly woman analysed, moving to look at the empty beach space behind them before spinning her head back to the grey horizon, "it's the only place where not really being okay does no damage." Her words held a lot of truth, far too much that the brunette began to turn uncomfortable again. "And there's no temptation to try and be anything else."

"Yeah," Artemis cleared out her throat and began to wave over towards her dog, trying to get her to return and give her a reason to escape. When Squidgy just continued to sniff at the sand, sneeze, and then sniff some more, she realised it was up to her to make an awkward escape. She didn't want to make friends with the woman, and though she seemed crazy, the old woman was about as crazy as she was so that settled most of her concerns (and also made a few more). "Well, take care of herself."

The woman seemed surprised that she was leaving all of a sudden, and she seemed to be quite perceptive, apparently also noticing that she was attempting to run away as fast as possible. "What's your name, dear?" She asked, stopping her from walking away so soon.

The brunette didn't answer immediately, bringing up a list of pros and cons in her head before eventually deciding that sharing her name with the old woman wouldn't do much damage, the only relationship she could see herself forming with the old woman was one where they had the odd little conversation on the beach front in passing. "Artemis." she realised it was actually the first time introducing herself with that name, it felt wrong. "Yours?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "people just call me Grandma."

"That's not a name."

The old woman smiled, "neither is Artemis."

Touche, Artemis thought though she didn't say it out loud. She just nodded her head and let out a short laugh. That was the first time that the brunette got to see how entertaining the old woman could be, and somehow, it became something bigger. More than a friendship, a connection between two people that consisted of familiarity. It started off with the odd conversation on the beachfront like she'd expected, then becoming visits to each others houses, then trips to the shop (gas station) together, then they'd just start hanging out basically everyday and it was great for her because she didn't have to be Amelia Stark. She wasn't a demon, or an angel, or a warrior, or a soldier, or a hero, or a villain, Artemis was just a girl with a few dogs and a battered mentality which became a lot easier to fix with Gran by her side.

And it was that friendship that made it much easier for Artemis to face Natasha again, the second time she'd arrived a year after the first.

"Hey." She'd arrived, still very much blonde, at her doorstep and just from her body language it was clear that she wasn't there to yell at the brunette again. Her arms were hidden behind her back, and her shoulders were deflated.

Artemis had the same initial shock at seeing Nat at her doorstep, but her first instinct wasn't to shut the door and pretend like she didn't exist anymore, in fact, the brunette wanted nothing more to jump into her arms and apologise for how she'd behaved. Time really had been a healer for her, giving her all the seconds she'd needed to look back on her actions in the past, all their faults and positives. She'd realised that she was dramatic, that she thought the entire world should be hers to protect, that she was far too clingy to Steve and that, above everything else, she was selfish.

She'd also thought over what she'd do if she ever got to speak to Natasha again, and there was only one thing the brunette wanted to start her sentences with.

"I'm sorry." They both ended up saying it, speaking the two words at the exact same time.

Maybe it shouldn't have been that easy, maybe two overused words weren't good enough of an apology, either way, the brunette and the blonde jumped into each other's arms and hugged it out, their arms tight and almost suffocating. Maybe the two words shouldn't have been enough, but they were best friends, having met under unique circumstances and formed an enduring relationship that could put up with any sort of argument as long as the two returned to each other eventually.

"Nat, I'm so sorry for how I spoke to you," she huffed into the neck of her best friend, ignoring the tears that came to her eyes, they were happy ones.

"No, I'm sorry for just turning up at your door and saying so much bitchy stuff," she apologised in return, pulling away from Artemis' hug but not so far that any space was put between them, "you were right, I didn't even try to think about your perspective."

"It's fine really, I-"

"Shush, I'm not done," she interrupted, giving Artemis an easy glare that had her mouth immediately clamping shut. "I'm here now, ready to listen, and I've brought with me proper vodka, and lots of junk food along with three of our favourite movies." She picked up a bag that the blonde had hidden away and Artemis heard the delightful clink of a full bottle of vodka. Natasha opened up the bag, and pulled from it three films, two spy ones, and one superhero movie. They were their favourite kind of films to watch because of just how far from the truth the movies always ended up being.

It truly felt like her heart was swelling in her chest.

"You have given the goddess a great offering, you are welcome into my temple," she chimed in, dramatically opening the door wider and stepping aside so that Nat would enter.

Of course the blonde rolled her eyes at the words, "wow, I see your ego is still alive and well." She was momentarily distracted by three bundles of fur making their way over towards her, and she immediately recoiled, standing sideways so the furry creatures wouldn't be pawing up at her front.

"These are the temple guardians," Artemis chimed, putting her hand out as the excited dogs ran up to her, as though they were trying to inform her of the new visitor.

"Of course you got dogs," she muttered under her breath, trying to walk away from the pups that just became more interested in her every time she moved, "a nice cat just wouldn't have been good enough."

"I'm just not a cat person, sorry to disappoint you," Artemis replied, trying to get her dogs attention and pull them away from the blonde-haired agent.

The dogs calmed down eventually and so did the two women, sitting on Artemis' small black cotton couch and laughing over the movies. They drank, they gorged on all of the food Nat had brought (which shouldn't have humanly been possible to eat in just one night, but they weren't exactly normal humans) and then the more they drinked, the easier it became for Artemis to finally reveal her truth.

That she'd been pregnant, and lost the baby right as Steve left to ensure Bucky's safety before hers.

Natasha's reaction had been unexpected, the inebriated blonde beginning to cry with Artemis as she recounted the entire story to her. For an entire week Natasha refused to leave her side afterward, but in the end, she had a life of her own to live - one that included Steve, she'd revealed - and Artemis had explained she wanted to stay on the island to continue healing. They'd parted ways but they saw each other every month, Natasha no longer having an issue with the brunette's decision because she'd seen the awful bigger picture.

Every time Natasha would come to visit, the rogue agent would try and push Artemis to get back into contact with other ex-Avengers. Sam missed her and even though Tony wasn't on their side, Nat knew that the billionaire needed his sister. She was the only family that he had left. Nat never bothered to bring up Steve, other than telling Art that she was still working with him, the topic of that particular soldier never came up. Then there was Wanda. The witch had been angry, feeling betrayed by the sudden abandonment of the only sibling she had after Pietro's passing.

Because Wanda was one of the easier people for Artemis to face, she'd given Nat a letter to give Wanda, one that was filled with apologies and best wishes. It wasn't long until she got a reply the next time Nat came to visit. Wanda explained her anger, and she also explained that for the most part, she was over it. There was something else taking up her time, someone that was allowing her to heal as well. Vision.

Artemis was overwhelmingly happy to hear that the two had finally become a couple, they'd always had an indescribable connection which both Amelia and Steve would constantly wonder about, even making the odd bet on when they'd finally get together. It was the one good thing that managed to survive the Avenger's break up. When Artemis wrote her next letter, she also gave a phone number.

They both eased back into becoming chosen siblings, and it was genuinely hard at first but Wanda seemed to notice the change in Artemis (not only the change she'd made to her name) so she didn't have to worry about being underestimated or abandoned again. Once the witch realised that, the begging for face to face interactions became much more common. She wanted Artemis to get back into the world, to stop hiding away and find a proper home (a home that included her, but Wanda didn't want to tell Art that right away).

It took months, but Wanda used every weapon she had against the brunette and it turned out effective. Artemis couldn't help think how clear that fact was as she arrived at the airport, exiting the plane with electrical nerves shooting all around her body, exactly like pins and needles. By the time she reached the escalator she wasn't sure if she could keep standing.

Her eyes searched the crowd at the bottom, zoning in on a familiar witch but she did not recognise the man stood beside her until she was much, much, closer. It was Vision, only, he was shaded with more human colours. The gem on his forehead wasn't even visible. The next thing her brain focused on was the sign which Wanda was holding, beginning to shake it with excitement as the brunette got closer, the sign reading 'Amelia' with a little love heart next to the name.

She visibly blanched at the name though she tried to keep it hidden, not wanting to spoil Wanda's very obvious happy moment. The second she was off the escalator Wanda let out a happy noise between a yelp and a squeal, charging over and wrapping her up in a hug. "Hi!" She said loudly into Art's ear, unperturbed by the crowd as the Sokovian believed that airports were the perfect places for loud and obnoxious greetings, no one would look at the pair and see international criminals, just two siblings reuniting after far too long. "I'm so happy to see you!"

"Same to you," Art responded, a little quieter but the grin on her face showed that she was just as happy as the witch to be back in their company.

"A pleasure, Miss Stark," Vision gave a curt nod along with his greeting, not moving to embrace her as the android considered such personal touches as things meant only for his partner.

Her smile tightened slightly, "my names just Artemis now, Vis." The brunette felt slightly rude for greeting him that way, but she figured it would be easier to get that particular conversation topic out of the way then and there.

"Oh no," Wanda whispered as she pulled away from the hug, looking down at the sign she made with wide eyes as she realised what she'd done, "I'm so sorry, I was so excited and I completely blanked." The explanation felt lame as the witch began to tear apart the sign, breaking it into pieces and then scrunching them all together until the word was no longer discernible.

"It's fine, it took me a little while to get used to it too," Artemis shrugged, "just, ugh, don't do it again, please."

"Yeah, of course," Wanda rushed out her words, revealing a slight bit of the anxiety that was filling her. She'd discussed it with Vision the previous night, how she was scared of having Amelia back in her grasp only to lose her again, it felt like all she ever did was lose her siblings. "Sorry," she apologised again.

"So, we've got an entire day here together before Vis leaves, what's the plan?" Artemis asked, trying to move on as fast as possible from the awkwardness beforehand onto a much more pleasant topic.

Vision was the one to answer. "Sightseeing, and then a meal out tonight at this restaurant I and Wanda found, they serve an array of different meals, it's quite fascinating really." He grabbed a hold of Art's suitcase, having noticed other human men doing the same thing previously to be polite, and started to walk with him, the two girls sharing a look before following him. "They have this Sokovian meal on the menu that we tried, bryndzové pirohy I believe it was called, a tad salty for my taste but one of Wanda's favourites, then there was a greek dish which we had for pudding-"

They began to exit the airport with Vision continuing his listing of all the dishes they'd tried at that one particular restaurant, Artemis allowed him to talk as her mind focused more on the fact that they'd be sightseeing. Sightseeing was something she'd spent the past two years doing and it had been quite boring, but perhaps with company the experience could be a lot more joyful. Her year exploring Europe had been amazing, and she did plenty of sightseeing then. But, of course, that was when she was also with Steve, their love blossoming into something big.

* * *

 **A/N: A chapter that gave you all a little bit more of a look into what Amelia was up to for the past two years, hope it all made sense I know the chapter was structured a bit unusually.**

 **To LoveFiction2018, I might have planned the story in a way so that she meets Steve again in chapter 100, I might have, I make no promises**

 **To kuppcake, who Artemis is? Artemis is Amelia... or do you mean Gran? Or one of the dogs lol?**

 **To Pitspee, whenever I talk about her I still call her Amelia. She'll always be Amelia to me lol. Seen as we're talking about names, let me bring up a line I was particularly proud of when writing the prologue: 'She could be a weapon, or a defender, or a hunter' like its so dumb but I feel hella smart with that line cause AS09 is the weapon, Amelia's name means defender, and Artemis is the goddess of the hunt lol. And don't you worry, there will be some beard appreciation, I literally couldn't resist putting some in. AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LETTING ME USE YOUR IDEA, it will be beautiful moment and I hope I can do it justice.**

 **To AngelElmarlienHenning, I'm glad you like the puppo's all of them are real, Squidgy is currently asleep next to me as I write this lol**

 **To Sam0728, Gran is just Gran, a lonely broken soul like Amelia who has helped her become the person she needed to be. You'll see a lot more of her in back flashes. And yup, I'm not going to delay the plot of the movie too much because I know what we're all waiting to see happen.**

 **To CrumblingUniverses, Gran will play a huge part, technically she's already done most of her work but we'll see a lot of her in back flashes and 'rooted' is the perfect word. We'll see more of Gran later on and I just hope y'all like her character. I also agree with you on having a pure companion, that's exactly why I thought she needed to have some puppos. And also wow, I've never gotten a compliment on my pacing before but thank you so much, I didn't even really think about it but that doesn't mean I'm not extremely grateful to hear that my structuring is well written :) Hope you enjoyed this chapter!**

 **To shugokage, glad to hear you're looking forward to part five! I am too tbh**

 **To Assbitch67, ahaha I hope I did him justice, I should have really asked you more questions about his personality, I apologise for that. And honestly I could say 'shut up' back and we could continue this argument forever but I'm feeling a bit too sombrero, you know?**

 **To rosequartz121, glad to hear you're excited! And don't worry about not 'logging in on the last episode', it's fine really, as I stated having your reviews already builds me up a lot but I appreciate your kind words here. I wonder, did you skip to read this or did you manage to get through the chapter? Congrats if you read the chapter first, and I can forgive you if you skipped to just th enote lol. My day went fine, thank you, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter ^^**

 **AND A BIG THANK YOU TO THE PEOPLE THAT READ THE CHAPTER!**


	103. Chapter Ninety-Seven

**CHAPTER NINETY-SEVEN**

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"It was strange, really. A couple months ago, I had thought I couldn't live without him. Apparently I could."

― **Gabrielle Zevin**

* * *

Sightseeing through Edinburgh in Scotland turned out to be more fun than Artemis thought it would be, it wasn't so much beautiful landscapes and old age places they visited though, instead they'd gone into a village that had a market full of unique nicknacks and doohickeys. Which included Artemis' favourite things, food.

Amongst a row of shops, Art and her two friends had visited a British chocolatier named 'Thorntons' that had a range of all types of chocolates, melding ingredients Art had never thought would go together but surprisingly they somehow worked. Whilst the group of friends had made a bag of their own full of different types to share between them during their exploration, Art had decided to purchase one for Gran as an apology for how their last conversation went, as well as getting a box for herself because she liked chocolate just as much as she knew Gran did. It was another thing that they'd had to bond over.

" _Artemis?" Gran called after walking through the door of the brunette's beach shack, immediately being met by three dogs which barked at first but calmed after seeing who it was and receiving a few pats on the head. She stepped further into the room, finding that Artemis' home had gone through a severe change as every piece of furniture was covered by a plastic sheet._

" _Upstairs!" The familiar voice belonging to the brunette echoed through the house and Gran followed it all the way upstairs into her friend's bedroom which looked the same as downstairs. Artemis was sat on top of the plastic sheet on her bed, simply staring at the wall opposite her dressed in an oversized black shirt and leggings, both items of clothing covered in an array of paint. The brunette turned her head at the new arrival, her eyes beginning to light up. "I hear the rustle of a plastic bag, could it be that you got me a treat?"_

" _It certainly could, my dear," Gran celebrated, lifting up the plastic bag in her hand that seemed to be filled with only one thing, "chocolate with caramel, the runny kind."_

" _My favourite! How did you know?" Artemis hoorahed as she slipped from the bed onto her feet, immediately moving to retrieve a chocolate bar with delight._

" _I'm a grandmother now, it's my job to know," the old woman answered simply, allowing her friend to take the bag as she inspected the wall Art had previously been staring at. The wall was a stained white but there were new streaks of colour scribbled on with paint. The colours consisted of black, grey, a brighter but duller white, cream, another grey, and a serene blue. The kind of blue that the ocean outside only reflected when it was summer and the grey clouds were absent. "Bloody hell, what are you trying to do here? Create a monotone rainbow?"_

" _Fixing up the house will distract me- oh my god this is amazing, thank you so much." Her sentence was cut off as she chewed noisily on the delicious golden caramel, her lips making smacking noises._

 _Gran screwed up her face scornfully. "Chew with your mouth closed please, I never realised how loud and messy of an eater you were."_

 _The brunette chose to ignore the way her friend was looking her up and down with disgust, walking back over to her bed and slumping onto it, staring at the wall, contemplating. "I'm thinking of doing the room grey."_

" _No, no, no. Grey is too depressing, you want a light colour so our spirit will be lifted. I like the blue, it's bright and makes me think happy thoughts." Gran pointed towards the colour she liked most, imagining it covering all the walls and melding with the furniture she already had. It all fit in just fine, making the place feel more like a home than some decrepit ruin._

 _Artemis' eyes feel down to the floor, "I- uh, I can't do that one."_

" _Why?"_

" _It reminds me too much of someone I know." She hadn't realised it when buying the colour. The only thing that had gone through her head when purchasing the paint was that blue would suit the beach theme. It wasn't until she made that small strip on the wall that she really noticed what the shade encapsulated. His eyes. It was exactly like his eyes._

" _Is it that boy you don't like talking about?" Gran guessed easily._

" _Yes. It is. So let's not talk about it." Art shuffled around uncomfortably on the bed, taking another bite from her chocolate bar. When Gran turned around to fully face her, a determined expression filling her face, the brunette knew that her friend wasn't going to so easily drop the subject._

" _Are you really going to not enjoy a simple colour because of a man? Is that really the kind of woman you want to be." Artemis didn't give an immediate response, simply looking at her friend with a bored expression and roughly biting down on the chocolate in her mouth as though it was made of rock, doing anything she could to make it obvious that she wasn't thrilled by their conversation topic, not really showing that she knew Gran's words held spectacular truth in them. "Don't look at me like that, running away from the topic is just as shameful in my eyes. I thought you had much more pride in you than that."_

 _She shrugged lamely. "When you go through the things I have, pride becomes a rather vacuous thing."_

" _Nonsense, those are the words of someone who doesn't have any self-respect, or self-love." Again, Art could only agree, that was definitely something she lacked but it wasn't exactly something the brunette felt comfortable with discussing. "If you've truly gone through difficult times than it becomes even more important that you do have pride," her judging tone dissipated slightly, becoming something much softer and there was that familiarity appearing again, as though she was speaking from her own experience._

 _That always made Artemis take the elder woman's words a little more seriously, because Gran would speak with a sort of desperation, like she was asking Art to not make similar mistakes to her. Gran never outright asked her to go back to Steve, just to love herself and give life another chance._

" _You're a strong, independent, woman when you want to be. So don't doubt yourself, don't allow people to tarnish your self-respect, and above all else, don't let people stop you from enjoying simple things, from living your life. You owe yourself much more than that," her head nodded resolutely as she finished her words, the elder woman's arms crossed strictly over her chest whilst she looked towards the wall, making Art wonder who Gran was talking to, her, or herself._

" _If I paint the walls blue, will you stop with the speeches?" Artemis eventually caved in, in her own way letting Gran know that she understood her words and was genuinely taking them in. Gran understood her well enough to see that, and though she'd have liked for Art to have a complete change in personality and accept her advice without any trepidation, the old woman would settle for her just painting the walls blue, it was the first step towards something bigger._

" _Absolutely not," Gran rebutted, their serious moment fizzling into something more joyful and less weighty. "When you're my age, all you have left to provide for the world is wisdom."_

" _You're not that old, only like… sixty?" Admittedly, the brunette was being more courteous than she let on._

" _I appreciate that comment very much, in fact, you get another chocolate for that," Gran grabbed another chocolate bar from the bag and threw it over to her, the trained ex-assassin having no trouble with catching it. Gran joined her side, sitting on the bed. "I like to think my mental age is quite old though, I've gone through things that have pushed me to grow up more than I wanted."_

" _I'm sorry to hear that," as apathetic as her words were, the mood was ruined slightly by the giant bite she'd taken from her chocolate bar, earning another disgusted glare from Gran._

" _It's fine," she mumbled, "I grew up, I matured, and I learnt all about a special thing called pride." Looking back to Artemis, she winked at the brunette._

" _So… blue?" Art continued on, not finishing her chocolate bar and placing it aside, knowing if she didn't make a start on the wall and finish it soon then she would never actually get around to doing it._

" _Blue." Gran nodded in agreement._

" _You going to help me?" The brunette asked as she lifted up the paint can and a paintbrush, behind her two paint rollers lifted up in the air, ready to get to work and do her bidding._

" _Sure, I'll sit here with my chocolates and oversee that things go well," Gran grabbed the unfinished chocolate bar and rested back onto the bed, ignoring the sharp glare she received from Art._

"Jet lag getting to you?" Wanda asked, joining her side as previously she had been stuck to Vision.

"Hm?" Artemis turned to her, returning to the real world and leaving the past behind, "oh, ha, no. My flight wasn't really all that long."

Wanda gave a slow nod, pursing her lips in thought. "So you're close to Scotland, how about England?"

"Wanda, you know I can't tell you where I live. The less that know the better." She explained, trying not to sound too harsh, able to guess that her lack of information was frustrating and a barrier stopping them from fully establishing the old bond they once had. It was just a precaution though, one she knew Wanda did actually understand, she just didn't like it. Wanda wanted the family back together.

Vision walked back to his girl's side, hand clasping hers in a gentle hold, their hands beginning to swing between them as the trio walked. He'd overheard their conversation topic and he was intrigued by it, the Android possessing many questions of his own that he wished to ask Artemis, he figured it would be best to start with the worst one, the one he believed would benefit Wanda most, "I wonder if, if Nat knows, does that mean that Steve will know as well?"

If they got talking about Steve, maybe they'd be able to convince Artemis to return to his side, or at least hear the reason why she'd left it in the first place. Tony hadn't exactly been charitable with the information he gave, simply telling Vis that Amelia was gone for good. The android knew he'd probably spoken more with Rhodey on the subject, but still, he wanted to know why as well. Everyone did. Artemis and Steve were supposed to be _the_ couple, the pair that would endure and always love one another, yet in under a day, it had snapped like a twig. He believed the question 'if a tree fell down with no one around, did it make a sound?' was extremely suitable for their break-up. If a twig snapped without anyone around, did it make a sound? If Amelia and Steve had a big fight with no one around, did it truly end? How were they supposed to know?

The android looked over to his girlfriend as he phrased the question and Artemis noticed, realising that the witch must spend a lot more time with the soldier than she'd first thought. The brunette had been under the impression that Wanda was simply living her own life and on odd occasion checking up with Steve and Nat. It seemed she'd underestimated the girl again, feeling as though Wanda was still a child that had no place being on the run and fighting crime underground, but it was Wanda's life and Wanda's choice. Artemis' only role was to support her sister and ensure she didn't get herself killed, not takeover every decision so she chose not to comment. She did, however, comment on the fact that Wanda had gasped and slapped a hand against Vision's chest after hearing the question.

"It's cool Wanda, we can say his name, it's isn't blasphemy," she laughed at the witches behaviour, doing her best to prove that the man's name had no effect on her. Artemis refused to allow something as simple as a name to stop her living her life.

She became slightly bashful, looking back to her friend, "I just don't want to bring you down or anything."

"I can't get over what happened if I avoid it altogether, that's what the old me would do, and she wasn't exactly winning at life," her small self-deprecating joke eased some of the tension but Artemis still decided she wasn't going to face Vis' question. She certainly hoped that Steve didn't, she trusted Natasha, but there was always the tiniest possibility that it could have happened.

'But by living so far away from everyone, aren't you avoiding?' Vision wanted to say, but it seemed his lover had somehow sensed what his next words were going to be and immediately tightened her hand around his, red even emitting from her fingers so the touch caused him a quick burst of pain. He clamped his mouth shut tightly, beginning to understand the signs Wanda had been giving him.

"So, food, anyone?" Wanda pondered as street lights began to switch on, going unnoticed as it was still quite bright outside.

"Sounds great, lead the way sis," the change of subject was welcome, the trio making their way to the restaurant.

It was around a ten-minute walk away from where they were in Edinburgh, involving a lot of alleyways that Artemis felt unsure about. It was strange going from two years spent in a wide open space, to a shadowy alleyway that smelt like urine and trash. The restaurant they arrived at looked like a hidden gem in a dark damp cave, the large glass windows emitting a warm and inviting orange that spread over the cobbled street.

The inside was coloured mostly by browns and maroons with glittering dark red curtains by the entryway. All the decorations culminated into a mix of cultures, the building itself was very English in its design of modern wallpapered walls, then there were lots of symbolistic items from all around Europe, large pictures of different lands hung up on the wall, and she assumed it was all placed there to summarise the menu of the place. Artemis could recognise one photo on the wall and she was sure Wanda would too. It was surprisingly somewhere they'd stood together. The bridge that connected Sokovia, the place they'd assisted multiple citizens to escape on before the city was lifted into the sky by Ultron. It was quite strange, Art almost felt like the picture was _lacking_ all of the chaos and the fright that she always envisioned on that bridge.

For the rest of the night, neither of the two girls looked over to the picture again.

"Wow, this place is beautiful," Artemis exclaimed, eyes continuing to drift around the inviting room. It wasn't full of people, which wasn't surprising considering how hidden away it was. There were three other groups of people sat on the round tables in the middle of the room, and at the bar to the left against the wall was one person on their own, drinking away at what looked to be whiskey.

"I know, it's got such a traditional feel to it. On the weekends there's even a pianist. They played Wouter van Wijhe's piano rendition of I Dreamed A Dream from Les Miserable, myself and Wanda danced to it, it was quite a nice moment actually," Vision recounted, also giving one quick scan of the room before turning back over to Wanda, finding that the witch was looking back at him.

"Agreed," she whispered, the two locked in one another's eyes, clearly revisiting the memory still fresh in their minds. It was clear then just how much they were falling for each other, Artemis dared say they were in love, she knew that her love with Steve had blossomed long before they actually got in a relationship.

Seeing that fresh passion burning so abundantly in their eyes had her heart clenching, and the brunette wished she could have said that it was because she was touched by the emotion, but truly it was because it made her miss what she'd once had. She decided it would be for the best if she didn't stop and dwell on that feeling for too long. "Right, well whilst you two lovebirds stare longingly into each other's eyes, I'll go get drinks, you guys can order me whatever food you think I'll enjoy."

Without even bothering to look away from one another they each gave her their orders and she left with a small smile on her face, amused by their fawning for one another which was so strong they simply couldn't help themselves. Young love, it was truly the strongest love there was.

She knew the tale too well, how every love story went. She'd had a lot of time to analyse it over the course of her two years, Netflix filling up all the spare time she had between looking after her dogs and fixing up the unfixable beach shack.

The first thing that happens is a connection, a physical one, a singular touch that will light them on fire, their skin blazing wherever the lover's fingers had grazed. The burns would never show, but they were felt, like ash in the lungs it would be hard to breathe and they'd be suffocating every time they were near their love. It would be delightful. Secondly, it would start to hurt to look at the lover, they shined too brightly, brighter than the sun, and that person would go blind because no matter how difficult it was to look at them, it was harder to look away. Third, their body would become tuned to the lover's voice, a sea of thousands of people would not stop them from finding the lover, their voice making every other song sound dull, every other song sound ugly. Fourth, the eyes would become unforgettable, so deep the person would drown in them and that was when they'd realise that the lover had turned them into a walking love-wrecked cliche, but that didn't stop them from sinking further and further and further. Fifth, the worst of all, that person would come to know their lover, they would come to love them, and it would almost seem like that love would last through a thousand lifetimes, and across millions of stars. 'Til death do us part' would be engraved forever on their heart. And then sixth, the impossible one, or at least that's what personal experience and all the movies had taught her, the sixth part of any love story, would be being loved unconditionally in return.

Artemis hoped they made it to the sixth point. Artemis wondered if she ever truly had.

At the bar, her eyes connected momentarily with the lone figure dressed in a creased suit with messy hair, as though they'd just come from the office and were drinking away the woes of his day. "Hey," the messy-haired male greeted, raising up his almost finished glass of whiskey.

"Hi." She didn't want to start a conversation with the stranger, despite how kind he looked. Though his attire was unkempt, he did have a small smile on his lips, the kind that seemed permanent.

He nodded over to Wanda and Vision, "you third wheeling over there?"

She also looked over, seeing that the two were laughing, both blushing as they seemed to have finally realised exactly what they'd been doing, just staring madly at one another. "I suppose you could call it that, but I don't really mind." It was quite something, seeing the lonely Maximoff who just lost her brother transform into a strong independent woman able to place her heart in another person's hand. It was inspiring, actually.

"Well I'm here all on my own, drinking away my loneliness, so if you want company…" His offer didn't sound creepy coming from his lips, there was no hidden intent and no suggestiveness to his voice. Why did that make her even more wary of him? And yet, why was she also slightly charmed by it? Maybe it was because his good intentions reminded her of a very good man.

"This is supposed to be a 'me and them' sort of holiday thing," she nodded over to the couple that were retreating to a table, smiling gratefully as the barman dropped off their three drinks, "but thanks for the offer."

"I'm nothing if not charitable," he attempted to make a cocky remark but it didn't suit him, his brown hair flopped madly as he shrugged and the suit on him became even more ruffled but the carefree attitude he possessed made that perfectly okay.

"Glad you consider me charity," she bantered, and immediately regretted it as he dropped the glass of whiskey down harshly on the table, looking like she'd just told him that he'd accidentally shot her.

"Wait, no, I- No, that wasn't what I meant at all, I-" The stranger waved his hands before giving up entirely, groaning and slapping his hand against his forehead before looking back up to her through long lashes, "I'm sorry, I'll leave you alone now, go dig my hole even deeper."

"You're fine, I was just kidding," Artemis giggled, beginning to find the man even more amusing as he showed how incredibly flustered she could make him.

She was happy to see his smile return on his face, though it was slightly more bashful than before. "Mind if I ask you you're name?"

"Yes, but you made me laugh, so I guess you can call me Art." She responded, not really having any issue with revealing that little tidbit of information considering it: A) wasn't actually her name; B) it wasn't even really her fake name, just three letters from it; and C) he'd earned it.

"Bit pompous naming yourself after the expression of human creative skill and imagination," he mumbled under his breath, taking one last swig of his whiskey and once the glass was put down a very cheeky grin was revealed, making him look much younger than he had seemed when she first saw him from across the room. He suddenly leaned forward, a glint appearing in his obnoxiously green eyes, "though I must say, I do agree, you are indeed a work of art."

Artemis couldn't help but snort at the very obvious pick-up line he'd tried to use, intention finally appearing in his voice and she'd give him props for actually taking a chance, but it was never going to go anywhere. "I'm going to go now," she explained, picking up the three glasses in her two hands (wishing she could just use her powers to lift the third one, rather than having to struggle with not spilling any of them).

"My names Jonathan by the way," he revealed, not pushing her to stay or making her uncomfortable, gaining more points from her.

"It was nice meeting you Jonathan," she replied, trying to be polite.

"I know."

Thankfully she had turned away so he didn't see the way her lips stretched wide, crinkling slightly as Art tried to force them not to do so. Jonathan did at least see her shaking her head as she continued her journey over to her two friends.

"Who was that?" Wanda asked as soon as Artemis returned to their little group, Vis and Wanda having found a seat near the corner of the room.

"Just some guy who doesn't realise he wouldn't be able to handle me." Art grabbed her simple drink, lemonade and vodka (something Natasha had gotten her hooked on) and took a sip from it, doing her best to look anywhere but at Jonathan as to not give the boy any more hope. She was also looking away from Wanda and Vis though, so she didn't notice the way the pair looked over to the ruffled figure, analysing him curiously.

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 **A/N: Another chapter beta'd by the wonderful Assbitch67!**

 **Hi guys, I'm really sorry for the sudden break in updating right as I started uploading again, I've got really bad toothache which is like just pain, constantly, 24/7, and it makes it really hard for me to think and that includes reading and writing. I have a dentist appointment on Wednesday, but until then I can't eat and I'm pretty much drowning myself (moderately) in painkillers, so yeah. I know this sounds dumb, its just toothache, I admit I'm a pussy who can't handle pain okay?**

 **Also, meet Jonathan, another characters that's kind of going to appear in my other projects. More so the Peter Parker fanfiction I'm planning, but he will make an appearance in Bones Becoming Flowers as well. Please give Jonathan love.**

 **To Guest, soon my friend, soon ;) Like two chapters kind of soon**

 **To Kathiena, thanks for leaving the review, had me laughing**

 **To Pitspee, Artie haha, I just call her Art for the reason Jonathan states in this chapter. And yeah, I think unorthodox nicknames are better for her, Millie makes me imagine a little girl with pig tails so I don't think that one fits either. Isn't Apollo her twin brother? Orion is the one who 'captures her heart' right? I could be wrong. And I agree with you about Bucky and Amelia's connection, it's something I tried to show in the Civil War part with their little conversations and you'll see it a lil more in this part (Especially now that you've given me your idea) and if Avengers 4 permits it you could get some more.**

 **To LoveFiction2018, glad to hear it ^^**

 **To Sam0728, Natasha is her best friend and best friends are people who deal with each others shit. Of course, it's not just meaningless shit, but you get what I mean. I love their friendship so much.**

 **To shugokage, thank you! ^^**

 **To rosequartz121, ahaha well done! And yup, I'll confirm it now that he'll be making his comeback than. I always saw Nat as a cat person just cause she's so chill and I don't think she'd be up for the constant hyperness of a puppo, and lol I never saw Clint like that but now I don't think I can unsee it.**

 **To Assbitch67, *maracas shaking in the distance***

 **To BrittStar1199, this scene is kind of the introduction to Gran and who she truly is, and her words are half inspired by your reviews, so I hope you like the lessons Gran is trying to impliment.**

 **To AngelElmarlienHenning, glad that you liked the update, and 'growling'? I don't understand what you mean, I'm sorry**

 **To xLaBellaVita, so many things you can't wait for, and I'm so sorry that you've had to wait and still have to wait. PLEASE FORGIVE ME!1**

 **And a big thank you to all the wonderful people that read the chapter!**


	104. Chapter Ninety-Eight

**CHAPTER NINETY-EIGHT**

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"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."

― **Oscar Wilde**

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There were many wonders in the Universe, before Amelia Stark's existence was wiped from the world and the girl became Artemis, she'd discovered what most of them were. The upfront ones, the ones that didn't hide and didn't pretend to be something else, like cakes, as long as you made them correctly then that's exactly what they were, just cakes, and they were _always_ wonderful (except for carrot cake of course, which Artemis would always insist should not be a cake). But in that restaurant, Art was discovering all the hidden wonders, the ones that came after harder days. Like a freshly prepared meal dressed in spices eaten after over two years of only being able to consume gas station foods.

Once done consuming the meal that Wanda had picked out, she leaned back in her seat and laid her hand flat on her stomach, releasing a long sigh of burdened relief. "My taste buds have been raised from the dead," she moaned with a huge smile playing on her lips, and it was apparently such a rarity for Vis and Wanda that the couple couldn't stop themselves from looking at each other with glee, as though getting Artemis to be so relaxed and content and _happy_ was one of their biggest successes.

"I believe I am also feeling quite full," Vision commented, recreating Artemis' own movements by patting his stomach. He didn't really need to eat, only ever having food as a social courtesy, even then he wouldn't eat all that much but that night he really had gorged on the food exactly like Wanda and Art had done.

"It's nice and horrible at the same time," the brunette continued, falling even deeper into her seat, not worried about any judgements as the only people left in the restaurant by that point were the workers which would be closing the restaurant and, of course, Jonathan, who'd continued to consume most of the small restaurants alcohol supply.

"Agreed." Wanda finally commented, feeling that sort of full which made falling asleep entirely too easy. It had been far too long a time since she'd eaten proper Sokovian food (except for the few meals Vis would try to cook her, but they rarely ever ended well).

Wanda looked behind them and saw that the stranger was still sat alone at the bar, his eyes repeatedly drifting to Artemis. He liked her, that was clear. And Artemis had showed some sort of interest, she'd stayed and talked to him, and had a small smile playing on her lips when telling Wanda about him. Sure, it hadn't been like Steve, nothing ever would be. But maybe, _just maybe_ , it could become something. Like any seed, it would first need to be planted though, and Wanda was suddenly seeing herself as quite the gardener. "Well, I guess it's my turn to go get the drinks."

"I'll just have a water this time," Art ordered, only able to mumble and draw circles over her belly with her palm as some sort of comfort.

"Okay, the usual, Vis?" Wanda turned to her boyfriend and the android nodded his head. "Be right back then." The witch skipped off with more bounce in her step than there should have been considering how bloated the small girl felt after the giant meal, neither of them were aware of the suspicious behaviour though as Art had closed her eyes and Vision's eyes were stuck on the resting brunette.

Once his girlfriend was gone, he finally regarded her: "Artemis."

"Vision?" She responded, opening up one eye.

"I have a question." He explained, gaining all of Art's interest, enough to get her sitting up properly in her seat. "I need your advice for something, and it's quite important. You see, me and Wanda have been doing these visits quite a lot more regularly, so much so that I'm sure the others have started to grow slightly suspicious because of our absences. I should be more concerned, really, I know that the more suspicion there is that the more likely it is that we'll get caught. That all feels meaningless though."

Vis had an expression on his face, like he was confused by the thoughts going through his mind, like they just didn't make sense, yet the fact that he was talking to her about all of it showed that Vision no longer cared about what made sense, not when it came to her, he just cared about what was right. "I don't want to go back, I know there could be dangers but I want to stay with Wanda and I want Wanda to stay with me. I'm supposed to leave tonight, that's what we agreed but… I'm not sure if I can."

"Then what's the issue?" She said the words so simply that at first Vision was affronted by them, his entire body stiffening because surely such a huge decision would require proper calculations. But then again, if that was really the case, he never would have asked Artemis for her advice. He was asking her because she had the most heart out of everyone he knew, cursed by so many emotions that they were as familiar as oxygen to her. She was driven by her emotions more than her logic, and whilst in the past he'd frowned upon that habit of hers, in that moment, he needed to know _how_ she did it. Yet she was acting like it was just doing something, not premeditating, just going with the first instinct he had… he wasn't sure if she was right, or insane. Perhaps both.

"If that's how you truly feel, then follow your heart. Your mind can overthink and conquer, but your heart, that's what is _always_ right." She raised a finger and pointed it towards his chest, Vision opened his mouth and Art was expecting one of two things: he was about to argue that emotions all came from the brain, not the heart, so when she was saying 'follow your emotions and ignore your brain' she was just being paradoxical, or, he was about to try and dig deeper into something she was doing her best to make simple. Artemis liked simple, and she missed simple. When her and Steve's relationship had been simple, no lies, no secrets, it had been overwhelmingly prodigious. Wanda and Vision were already halfway there, she could tell. She waited with a patient expression, already building up an argument in her mind but something else occured.

Wanda returned, carrying two drinks in her hand, and stood next to her was another person with another two drinks, one Art assumed was meant for himself. The brunette blanched at the man's presence.

"Hope you guys don't mind but I invited someone," Wanda revealed even though both Artemis and Vision were well aware of the new companion.

"Hello again," Jonathan greeted, waving his right hand slightly, impeded by the glass of water he was holding onto.

Art greeted back with only a small nod before turning over to look at Wanda with a slight glare that would have gone unnoticed by anyone who didn't really know her. The witch saw it, and she smiled in return, making it clear that she felt no guilt over trying to get her friend to socialise a bit more. "Our nights going to be ending soon though so there's no point…" Wanting to push her excuse further she looked to the Android for assistance. "Vision, don't you have to leave for your train soon?"

His eyes widened at the subject she'd just brought up, slightly confused considering the conversation they just had where she basically told him _not_ to get on the train. Still, her face was encouraging mixed with a little bit of a fear-inducing glint in her eye, and so he slowly nodded his head, looking between the two girls carefully, "I suppose I do."

"Oh," Wanda's face fell as she carefully placed down her two glasses in front of Vision and her own seat. Her entire body language had changed like ice melting into water, her shoulders slumping whilst her back arched a little more, her head bowing but not enough to keep Art from seeing the frown bending her lips downward. Immediately she felt guilt stab at her below her ribs as she realised she'd made a mistake by mentioning how Vision was going to be leaving soon. There was only one way to remedy the situation.

"But I guess we do have some time left," Artemis rectified, having to grit her teeth and push through any anxieties that were appearing. It shouldn't be a big deal, every friend a person that was once a stranger, so she shouldn't have so many reservations about a simple interaction. That was when she realised that it wasn't Jonathan she was scared of, but rather, the implications of what their interaction would mean. There were expectations already made by both Wanda and Jonathan that Artemis couldn't appease, she couldn't form any sort of relationship more than friendship with Jonathan because she simply wasn't interested. It seemed her heart would only ever choose one man, and until she could figure out how to fix that, and if it even needed to be fixed, she wouldn't even attempt bestowing it onto someone else. Still, if it would make up for the mistake she'd just made, she supposed a simple conversation wouldn't hurt anyone. The brunette turned to Jonathan and pointed to the empty seat behind her, "you can sit here under one condition: no more pick-up lines."

"Honey, that wasn't a pick-up line." Jonathan had stood awkwardly waiting for Artemis to make a decision, when he finally got the invitation he'd been looking for, he practically cantered over to the spare seat and dropped down beside Art, handing the brunette her drink. She gracefully accepted it and downed half the glass despite her full stomach. Why did her throat feel so tight? "Though I do have some rather amazing ones if you really want to hear."

"Oh, _please_ ," Art replied sarcastically, "I need them like I need air."

"Okay." He moved around in his seat, crossing one leg over the other and leaning closer towards her, "you called yourself a piece of art earlier-"

"No, I didn't," Artemis quickly interrupted, turning to face her friends that were watching the two interacting intensely. At least Wanda seemed to be entertained enough, it didn't look like Vis' exit was playing on her mind anymore.

He ignored her words, "well I'm a photographer, and I could picture me and you together."

Laughter ruptured throughout the table, Wanda snickering whilst Artemis chuckled (doing her best to hide it and failing), even Vision let out a rumbling laugh, meanwhile Jonathan was grinning ear-to-ear. "That was terrible," Wanda chimed, beginning to shake her head, but still, Jonathan's eyes remained only on Artemis, taking in her joyous reaction like it was better than any type of alcohol he could drink.

"Okay, okay. I have a better one, I just need to prepare for it," the scruffy boy stood up from his seat, wobbling ever so slightly as he began to pat all the pockets he had, doing it for an entire minute before abruptly looking around the team with a look of heignous panic. "Shit, I've lost it."

"Lost what?" Artemis asked, becoming genuinely concerned, her eyes even dropping to the floor despite the fact that she had no actual idea what she was looking for.

"My phone number, could I have yours instead?" He dropped back in his seat, looking very proud of himself as the small crowd laughed at his words once more, much louder. Because of Vision and Wanda's boisterous reaction, Artemis was trying her best to downplay her own but it became impossible to do so when Jonathan started pointing towards her. "I see you smiling, you liked that one. The theatrics always get the women going," he teased, and despite every bone in her body trying to keep the smile at bay, her lips did stretch upward a little bit more because of his baiting.

"And on that note," Wanda spoke up, still laughing quietly, "we better make a move, enjoy your night guys." She was saying the words quickly, clearly trying to make a swift escape and Vision was surprisingly following her. The android clearly wasn't on Artemis' side as much as she thought he was.

"What? No, I'll come with." Artemis moved to stand up, surprised when Wanda's hand suddenly came into contact with her shoulder and she was pushed back into her chair.

"No, seriously, me and Vis want to say goodbye anyway and I'm sure you don't want to be around for that," Wanda managed to push out a perfect excuse, making it clear just how much time she'd spent with Natasha, learning how to create the perfect lie which was a staple for any super spy. What the witch said had actually been true though, Vis and Wanda did need some alone time to say goodbye because the android needed to say whether he was actually going or not. If she was with them then it would put even more pressure on Vis and make things even more awkward. "I'll see you at the hotel room later on, okay?"

"Alright," Artemis reluctantly caved, her eyes flickering over to Vis for a second so that she could try to give him a small look meant to boost his confidence, then she looked back to Wanda. "I won't be that long anyway." She finished her drink of water, making it even more clear to Jonathan just how much little time she planned to spend with him.

He remained sat quietly as the friends all said their goodbyes, it was just a quick hug between Wanda and Art but when the brunette moved to hug Vision she strayed there for another second, squeezing his arm in a motivating sort of way. Jonathan wanted to ask what it was about but when she sat next to him once more, he noticed that she seemed to be leaning away and avoiding eye contact, her mouth clamped shut as she analysed every single thing in the room but him.

"So would I be able to convince you to get one more drink, or do you want to just wait five minutes and then you can make your escape?" He'd been quite aware of her apprehension from the moment he met her, and Jonathan didn't blame her for that apprehension, he was a stranger after all. Though, he was a strong believer in socialising, it was a big part of his job in the business industry. That didn't mean he got the odd spout of anxiety, even extroverts could tire of social interactions every now and again.

It clearly wasn't just about being an introvert though, because Art didn't really seem tired and she seemed quite open to interacting, there was just something stopping her, a _fear_. Theories were popping in and out of his head but there were no definites. His top one was a broken heart, the most common reason why people unintentionally withheld themselves, keeping their hearts close to themselves, even from any harmless individuals such as himself.

Art was slightly taken aback by his comment, but extremely grateful for it. She leaned towards him and her eyes finally connected with his. She looked apologetic, her lips pouting ever so slightly and her black eyes widening just a bit, revealing more of the black depths held in her iris'. They were so dark, like a bottomless pit, and Jonathan feared if he stared for too long, got too close, then he'd fall into them and never be able to get out. "I'm sorry, but I just flew over and jet lag-"

"It's cool, I get it." He waved off her excuses, not wanting to make her any more uncomfortable than she already was by forcing her to create up reasons other than the real one. "Though," he started, "I'd be upsetting my mother quite a bit if I didn't at least walk you back to your hotel."

"I don't need your protection," she stated it as a fact that there was no room to argue against.

"Good," he replied just as matter-of-factly as she had, standing up onto his feet and fixing the jacket he was wearing. "I'm not offering to protect you. If someone points a gun at us, I'm definitely going to push you in front of me."

"You're a real catch, aren't you?"

"Why thank you," he finished sorting out his jacket and then he offered Art a hand. The brunette released an exhale of air which was close to a laugh, he was sure that if she didn't have her apprehension she'd be laughing loudly at all of his quips, because he was just _that_ _charming_.

She didn't accept his hand, but the brunette did stand up and start to leave, not saying no to his invitation so he expected that that meant he had her permission to walk her to the hotel room. Jonathan was quite excited about the walk they'd take, especially because it meant he might have a chance of understanding her better.

He downed the rest of his drink before beginning to follow her, being sure to rush ahead of her so that he could open up the door to the restaurant before she did. "Madam." He threw his hand up, pointing to the outside of the door and even bowing, making Art roll her eyes, he just smiled widely at her reaction. She was sure of it then, his middle name had to be 'Cheeky'. That, or 'Dimples'.

Their walk was silent for the most part, and slow, the two of them taking their time as to avoid bumping into Wanda and Vision because they hadn't waited even a minute before setting off.

Jonathan had definitely hoped for more conversation from her, and when he realised that she wasn't just going to openly speak to him, the messy brunette decided it was up to himself to start a conversation. So, fuelled by liquid courage, he asked her: "What's your story then?"

"Hm?" The slightly more orderly brunette didn't seem to be paying much attention to his words, but Jonathan was very persistent, and very curious, and _very_ cheeky.

"You've got this whole 'jaded but stronger than you' thing going on - which is kind of hot if I'm being totally honest - and I was just wondering why that is. So… what's your story?" He asked again, speeding his pace up so that he was walking beside her rather than a few steps behind.

"Too long to recount," she grumbled, not really wanting to go into any details because that would mean actually reliving all the horrors of her life, including the recent ones, the freshest that still had a tight grasp on her heart. It felt like those memories always would, but Art knew better. She'd gone through plenty of traumas, lived through every single one, survived them, and eventually moved on from them.

Her eyes fell onto Jonathan once more, trying to inspect whether he was going to drop it or not but he still possessed an eager expression, one that read he wasn't simply going to drop everything, so she decided to give him more. Art did the same thing that she did with her name, giving him only part of the truth, not enough for Jonathan to draw any conclusions but enough to ease his curiosity. "Fine. Yes, I've been through some things, but I took some time out to face it all mentally, and heal, I like to think I have but there's really no way of me knowing."

"Healing is good," Jonathan responded, beginning to nod his head erratically as they wandered. "But not being so jaded would be better. There are far too many people on this planet that are jaded," he continued, "there's all that crap going on with superheroes and bad people, it makes you question who's really good and who's evil." Artemis' walking slowed to a halt as she looked to him curiously, his words piquing her interest greatly. "But it shouldn't be like that, you know? Like, this world is so fucking beautiful, have you seen puppies? They exist, and they're gorgeous animals. How can you possibly hate such a world that has _puppies_ in it?" His meaning got lost slightly as he started to talk about puppies, and yet, Art still found herself somewhat agreeing with him.

"I just wish that we'd all come to respect each other a bit more. We're all superheroes and villains in our own way, but we all have the right to be on this planet so there's no point in becoming… jaded." He pointed towards her, as though she were 'jaded' defined in one character and Artemis just wished that he could have met her two years ago, hell, a year ago, when she truly was defensive and hateful, maybe then he wouldn't be labelling the character she was in that moment. But that didn't matter, what Jonathan said was right, everyone was made up of bad and good and each one of those people had a place in the universe. "Except the people that hurt puppies, they deserve to be exiled to the moon, _without_ a spacesuit."

They'd, at some point, come to a stop at the corner of a street, the moon was high in the sky and partly covered by thick grey clouds. The light still protruded through small spaces, still shined down on them, brighter than any of the street lights.

"How much _did_ you have to drink?" Her words broke through the thick atmosphere that had formed over Jonathan's sincere words, the both of them feeling their meaning weigh heavy on their shoulders, like it was some big realisation that was so obvious yet so ignored.

Jonathan shrugged his shoulders, "I was hoping if I drunk enough I'd be able to stop myself falling for you."

"And how's that working out?" She turned back to face her path, taking a step forward.

"Well, my world is spinning and I feel like I'm about to pass out soon, so, really well?" He began to follow as well, happy with the small bit of progress they'd made, knowing that the rest of their walk would be a lot more fun now that they'd seemingly broken through one of her walls.

It should have been, would have been, were it not for the loud unnatural sound that they heard. To Jonathan it was the sound of glass breaking apart, shattering and screaming out in agony, making his entire body freeze and it looked like the messy brunette was moments away from flopping down on the ground and pretending to be dead. For Artemis, it was something much _much_ worse, it was the sound of her peace ending, or maybe it was the sound of her life restarting.

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 **A/N: Hello again, I feel like I'm obligated to inform you all that I am inebriated right now. And not only have I read through this to check for any spelling/grammar mistakes drunk, but I've also edited it on my phone which is just a recipe for disaster. I hate typing on my phone because I have very small hands that always make some sort of mistake (I hope you're all imagining me right now with Deadpool sized hands after they're cut off, it's not realistic in any way but it's quite a funny image, no?) but hopefully I've done okay and you all enjoy the chapter**

 **To Pitspee, Jonathan is great, I hope you enjoy his portrayal in this chapter and omg, stop being psychic, it really scares me. And I definitely imagine Tony as Apollo, though having Sam as Apollo is also a great idea, I've tried to add more of Sam in this part so I hope you enjoy that. And what do you mean 'I still can't believe you like the idea'?! It's a GREAT idea! Do you write anything? I'd love to check out your work considering how creative you are. And thanks for giving me some credit, I appreciate it lol. And to answer your question, no she doesn't dye or cut her hair. I thought about this for a while and decided that she wouldn't because she absolutely adores her hair. Hydra would always shave it off, and ever since then she'd wanted to grow it as long as possible, two years is a long time and her chance to finally get it to the Rapunzel-type length which is what she'd always wanted.**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, I hope you enjoyed the three chapters and that they could bring you some joy ^^ The toothache is fine, or it will be, just got to get to that appointment. AND YAY I'M SO GLAD TO HEAR THAT YOU THINK IT'S FAMILIAR BUT SO DIFFERENT BECAUSE THAT'S LITERALLY ALL I'VE BEEN AIMING FOR, my biggest concern has been that Amelia's change wouldn't be clear enough so thank you for that. And lol, there's one Thornton's that I know of and that's in Keighley's town center, which is still like an hour and half away from me. Oh well, I'm a simple person who loves simple chocolates. And oh god, I hope I did that moment enough justice, it will mostly be from Amelia's POV so fingers crossed. I'M THINKING OF YOU TOO, IF YOU WANT TO TALK JUST MESSAGE ME!**

 **To AngelElmarlienHenning, ah, I see. Groveling might come eventually, but it won't come immediately I can at least confirm that. And don't worry, I understand the phone thing, it's why I hate typing on my phone. Hopefully, this chapter isn't awful cause I did have to actually go through it on my phone. And agreed, everyone needs a Gran in their life, wait until you read chapter 104, that's when she really gets badass.**

 **To Sam0728, do you mean Nat or Gran? I suppose both deal with Amelia's shit, and both help her realise that her shit is mostly bullshit. And that's a message I try and get across a lot, I've lived 21 years without a man and though it hasn't exactly been a spectacular life that has nothing to do with my lack of partner. I'm glad you liked the last chapter and I hope you enjoyed this one.**

 **To shugokage, glad you enjoyed it so much, hope this one wet your skittle as well ^^**

 **To rosequartz121, thank you, today has actually been quite easy toothache wise (touch wood), and time is passing slowly but surely. Another chapter that builds up the tension, hope you don't mind and I hope you enjoy the next chapter. It wasn't Sunday when I read this but I did have a nice Sunday, it was a very lazy day but I sat and hand wrote a chapter which was very relaxing for me. I hope both your Sunday and Monday were enjoyable ^^**

 **To CrumblingUniverses, this is Jonathan after what happens in BBF and the untitled Peter Parker fanfiction, so whatever he had planned has already been executed ;)**

 **To Guest, Natasha wasn't supposed to know where she lived either but Amelia couldn't really stop the super spy from finding out, she actually has control over the information Wanda is given and wants to keep her location secret so that she can stop Steve from ever getting the information. I hope that clears things up for you ^^**

 **To LoveFiction2018, thank you! Hope you enjoyed this one ^^**

 **To Assbitch67, all hail Jonathan! It's good to know that he has a guardian angel in you lol. Also, it wasn't me who shook the maracas, it was the Mexican Autocorrect Bandit ;)**

 **AND A BIG THANK YOU TO EVERYONE THAT READ THE CHAPTER, I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THE NEXT ONE SO I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY IT! SEE YOU TOMORROW!**


	105. Chapter Ninety-Nine

**CHAPTER NINETY-NINE**

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"What is that you express in your eyes? It seems to me more than all the print I have read in my life."

― **Walt Whitman**

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The sound of glass raining to the floor was like a static shock for Artemis, sending sparks throughout her body which had her fingers tightening. All it took was a short walk around the corner and the brunette spotted where the damage had happened. It was a shop window and it looked like something - or someone - had been thrown into it. Wanting more information, she continued to run forward, turning another corner and spotting Vision laid on the floor with two humanoid creatures standing over him, one of which had a spear attached to his forehead.

Where was Wanda? What the hell were those things? Why were they there, the aliens from her dream about Thor? Why were they trying to get Vision's mind stone? Did that mean that her dream had been… No, it couldn't be true. There were no such things as giant purple grapes that walked and talked, but then again, the two aliens in front of her didn't exactly look real either.

Artemis wasn't quite sure what the hell she was looking at really, she just knew her entire body was on red alert and she was struggling with how to take in the adrenaline like static across her heart as it had been two years since she'd been faced with that particular sort of excitement.

"What the fuck?" Jonathan gasped from beside her, she hadn't even realised he'd followed her. His words were just the wake-up call Artemis needed though.

"Get out of here!" She ordered Jonathan, bringing attention from the two alien lifeforms onto her. Their eyes connected and the brunette tried not to get too taken by their uncanny appearances. She stretched out her fingers by her side, feeling as though she'd been handcuffed for the past two years. The more female looking counterpart with horns stretching out from her forehead like tree branches - Artemis decided to call her Lady Gaga - stepped off of Vision, the android in too much pain anyway to bother trying to get away from them, and moved closer to her.

She wasted no time, throwing up her arms and sending a blast of black and white energy which threw both of them, Gaga and Gollum, backwards and away from Vision. They collapsed onto the ground, feeling like they'd been hit by the force of a bomb. Whilst they recovered she ran over to Vision and picked him off the ground, turning around and beginning to carry him away from them.

Artemis didn't know if she'd really be able to take them on in a fight, after two years of just walking the dogs and using her telekinetic abilities for the odd (quite lazy) reason, it was safe to say she would be quite rusty.

As they stumbled their way back towards the corner, Wanda appeared from the cafe's broken windows, her eyes instantly moving to check on Vision who'd definitely been in better shape as - though Artemis hadn't noticed at first - there was a giant gash in his chest where one of the aliens had clearly pierced him with their staff.

The two aliens recovered to their feet and started charging forward just as Jonathan bravely ran forward to help Artemis lift up Vision on the android's other side.

"What are you still doing here?" Art questioned angrily.

"I thought you could do with some help," he argued back, "a simple thank you would have sufficed."

She was about to tell him that the people they were facing weren't just ordinary humans and clearly some sort of intergalactic warriors but they didn't have the time to as a shot came from behind them both, easily deflected by Wanda who'd been just in time, using her powers to shield the retreating trio. "We need to get Vis to safety," Art told Wanda, wings already spreading out behind her back so that she was ready to take flight.

The stares coming from her friends were noticeable and it was then she'd realised that none of them had seen her new additions, they didn't exactly have time to stop and chat about the wings though as the aliens were doing their best to break through the shield Wanda had created. She started to fly upward, black and white energy encompassing Vis and Jonathan, the scruffy-haired boy started to yell out wild noises of panic, eyes bulging as they left the ground behind. "W-What the- what the hell?" He continued to stutter, taking in everything. Vision no longer looked like the man he'd initially met, Art had wings, and Wanda was glowing red. Oh, and there were weird monsters chasing after them.

"Art, there have been others," Wanda relayed, recounting what she'd seen on the television before the aliens had appeared, "in New York, a spaceship landed. There were two other aliens and I think your brother fought them."

"Did he win?" She tried not to let her body tighten too much at the mention of her brother, accompanied by concern from the information Wanda had given, she needed to concentrate on flying as it was only her second time with the wings. Artemis had learnt that there were many benefits to them, they made her faster and took a lot less power, or perhaps she was just stronger. Something had happened in that Siberian base, it was like she'd been reborn. Art had always thought that it was wasteful how she'd evolved in some way when there was no use for it, but maybe she was wrong, maybe she'd had to evolve then because of what was about to come.

"He went missing," the witch wished that she could provide her friend with more information than that but it was all the news report gave her. Wanda analysed Art's expression carefully, trying to decipher what emotion was going through her head, she expected the psychic to try and cover all of her expressions like she used to but instead she was surprised to see actual regret cross her face.

"Tony will be fine," Art spoke, reassuring herself more than anyone, "he's Iron Man." Her brother couldn't be missing forever, he couldn't be dead, because she hadn't apologised to him yet for being such a brat.

They didn't get far, flying over a few buildings and finding somewhere they could hide. Art placed Vision down against a wall, Wanda immediately rushing over to his side and placing a hand on his arm as though she needed that bit of contact to prove to her that he was there and safe. "The stone on my head, it had been warning me about this," Vision revealed, slightly breathless, his words aimed towards his lover but Artemis somehow still understood him.

"I've been having dreams too, it must be because of our connections to the stones," Artemis hated admitting it, because that meant that what Gran had said to her before she'd left was true, but if all that she said was true then… then… No. She refused to see Gran's words as gospel, it was all too cruel. "None of that matters right now, you're injured." She pointed towards the wound that Vision was trying to cover on his hand, though it was more like he was putting pressure on it than keeping it hidden.

"The blade, it's somehow stopping me from phasing," Vision diagnosed as Wanda hovered her hand over the wound, beginning to stitch it up for him.

"Is that even possible?" The witch asked, becoming even more afraid of their foes as they clearly had advanced weaponry which no one was prepared for. Maybe Tony would be, but he wasn't there anymore.

"It shouldn't be," he replied grimly, his words no comfort to any of them, "I'm beginning to think we should have stayed in bed."

"What the _hell_ is happening?" Jonathan asked once more, his words turning aggressive as he moved his hands into his hair and tugged violently on the brown threads.

"Jonathan, shit," Artemis moved away from Vision and put up her hands, she wanted to send him away but realised that she couldn't because the aliens had already seen him with them. If either of the aliens saw him on his own they might try and abduct him because they'd believe he was a part of their team in some way. "I'll explain everything to you we just need to get out of here fir-"

"Look out!" The small boy launched himself over to Art and pushed her down, also dropping to the floor along with her as one of the aliens - Gollum - charged forward. Jonathan's warning also helped Vision push Wanda away just in time, easily guessing who Gollum's target actually was and his assumption had been right as the creature grabbed Vis by the neck. The android flew up, trying to get an advantage in the fight but they just ended up bouncing off of buildings in a battle of strengths.

Artemis pushed Jonathan off of her so that she could chase after Vision but a blast stopped her from walking any further, Gaga had returned and was clearly looking for a rematch as she ran towards Art, not realising that hidden behind one of the walls was Wanda. The two psychics worked together without words, Art nodding her head slightly towards the witch once Gaga was at a good distance, Wanda then rounding the wall with dancing red fingers. The alien tried to throw her staff but Wanda blocked it, moving around so that Gaga's focus was mainly her, unaware of the way that Artemis was forming shards in the air, aiming them directly for her back.

She checked once to make sure Jonathan wasn't anywhere near the fighting, finding that he'd scrambled behind a wall, clearly guessing that they were much more suited to handle the fight against the aliens than he was. Once she knew he was safe, Artemis threw her hands forward, the shards whipping past her towards Gaga. Wanda saw the flash of white and black, jumping aside as the alien turned around just in time to see the dozens of shards aiming right towards her.

Gaga raised up her weapon, aiming to deflect them but she could only hit a few as the others drove into her body and pinned her against a wall. Behind them a line of energy crossed over the path, hitting a van and causing it to set on fire. It was orange, Vision's beam.

"Go get Vision," Artemis ordered, stepping closer to the alien that was struggling against the shards viciously, spitting out animalistic sounds. She kept her hands raised, knowing that the shards wouldn't keep her there forever, just long enough for them to have a nice little conversation.

Wanda continued to stare warily at the irate alien, "are you sure?"

"No," Artemis answered honestly, turning to look at Wanda with an earnest expression. It was very unlikely she'd manage to win a fight against the alien, not when she'd had so little training and was only just beginning to use her powers full potential again, but it wasn't about whether she could or not, Artemis _had_ to. "But I know one thing, they can't get their hands on Vision's stone, it will kill him and lead to even more death, so you need to go and stop them _now_."

Clearly Wanda was torn, obviously wanting to go save her lover but also wanting to stay by her sister's side. The decision ended up being made her for her though as Vision's scream loudly echoed over their vicinity, coming from a church bell tower quite close to where the two girls stood. Just as he finished screaming Gaga managed to get free of her bonds, uncaringly wounding herself more in order to get away from the wall.

"Go!" The brunette screamed even more passionately, her hands beginning to glow with power, one hand black whilst the other was white.

Wanda gritted her teeth and left, leaving Artemis to fight the alien all on her own, hoping she wouldn't come to regret that decision.

Gaga tried to move for Wanda, knowing that the witch was going to try and stop them getting the android's stone but she was stopped as Artemis drew her back, pulling the alien towards her and then throwing an empowered hit directly to her face. It did barely anything. In fact, after the punch, the alien seemed to smirk slightly. Artemis only got a one-second look at that expression as the alien suddenly headbutted her, Gaga's rock hard horns doing more damage than she appreciated to her mind, making her lose balance.

It was a rookie mistake, she hadn't even assumed the alien would make such an attack, having lowered her hands beforehand so she'd be able to deflect any hits coming from Gaga towards her lower body. She'd purposefully opened up a weak spot for herself and she was suffering the consequences.

"Did you really think you stood a chance?" Gaga mocked, throwing out her staff towards Art's legs and knocking her down to her feet. "You have those powers of yours, yet you're not even good enough for a fight. You're no warrior. If it weren't for your abilities than I wouldn't even see you as worth killing."

Artemis wasn't even hearing the distasteful words, only capable of thinking 'not now' as she stared up at the alien and saw her death about to arrive. There were so many regrets that she thought she'd had more time to fix. Her relationship with her brother, she wanted to apologise, to try and rebuild their relationship better than ever as she'd realised that it had almost always been one-sided. She wanted more holidays with her family, a proper Christmas, a proper birthday. And most of all, the most surprising of all, she wanted to see Steve again. Artemis didn't want to die knowing that the last time they'd ever been together was when they both destroyed one another's world. It wasn't fair.

She couldn't die then, it wouldn't be fair. But, really, when had her life ever been fair?

Just as she'd come to accept that fate was cruel and that she was going to die filled only with discontent, an anguished cry came from near the both of them, loud and boisterous and getting closer. Both of them turned their heads to see none other than scruffy-looking Jonathan charging over with a brick in his hand, one that had clearly fallen off the walls after all the damage they'd done. He stopped a few centimeters away and threw it towards the alien, managing to hit her squarely on the head. "Get off my planet, bitch!" He ordered valiantly, breathing so heavily Artemis was slightly concerned for him.

The brick had hit her, and Gaga had even seemed affected by it, her head pushed to the side and a colourless liquid falling from her lips which Artemis hoped was blood, but it wasn't a mortal wound. Gaga slowly turned her head to face the human, her yellow eyes squinting into a glare powerful enough to wipe all the courage from Jonathan's face. Because the alien's eyes were on Jonathan, she was in the perfect spot to see Wanda and Vision beginning to fly up into the air, getting away. Gaga clearly didn't want that as she aimed her staff towards them and sent out a blast, then turning it back onto Jonathan, wanting to dispose of her two nuisances so she could go after the real prize.

Artemis realised the opening she had and utilised it to the best of her ability, bringing her hands back up in rushed movements, launching the alien towards the vehicle that was still burning from Vision's beam. There was a crashing sound and both Artemis and Jonathan waited a split second before making a break for it.

She jumped back to her feet and ran over to Jonathan's side, her hand wrapping around the hem of his shirt. "Don't scream this time," she requested as her wings grew once again and she flew upward, doing her best to try and find where Vision and Wanda had gone as they were no longer at the bell tower.

"A simple thank you would have sufficed," he responded, repeating his earlier statement, trying to joke again but his voice was quivering slightly.

"Thank you," Artemis said the words as earnestly as she could, wishing that there was more she could do to protect him from what had happened, hoping that she could protect him further. He looked up to her and tried to form the best smile he could, but it was splintered, displaying the cracks in his mask.

It was easier than she thought to find Wanda and Vision in the darkness as they'd thankfully crash landed inside a lit up train station, the broken glass obvious from their aerial position. Artemis flew the both of them down, making sure to be careful as she dropped down Jonathan who'd begun to shake, he rubbed at his arms, pretending to be cold but Art was well aware of the real reason why he was shaking. Still, she'd allow him to keep his pride and not make a big deal of it. That also meant not stopping and coddling him, she instead went over to Wanda and Vision who were recovering from their crash landing.

She fell to her knees beside them, helping Vision sit up whilst Wanda recovered, groaning a bit at the pain in her leg and shoulder. "I couldn't kill her so we need to get out of here, like, now," she rushed.

Vision returned with a shake of his head, "I can't, not like this," he looks down to his body, orange bursting through his skin and she imagined it somehow represented the agonising pain he was in. "But you two can," the android looks between the two psychics.

Immediately they denied his request. "Come on Vision," Artemis scoffed, "you know we don't trade lives."

"You asked me to stay," Wanda commented, and Artemis could only assume that Vision had gotten the balls to finally ask his lover that they don't go back to their splintered groups. She just wished that what happy little moment that must have been wasn't ruined by the two aliens on a mission to get the stone from Vision's body, most likely ending his life as they did.

From behind them, there was the sound of more breaking glass accompanied by footsteps and Artemis couldn't help but frown, knowing full well who was approaching them. Both Wanda and Art stood back up, stepping away from Vision but being sure to stand in front of him. They both had a new mission: Protect Vision, at all costs.

Artemis looked at the two aliens trying to plot an escape plan in her head. They clearly weren't going to get out of there without a fight, and that meant a duel had to happen. There were two of them and two of the aliens, yet it still felt like an unfair fight because she just wasn't prepared. Sure, most of the fighting came from muscle memory and both the girls had their powers as weapons, but that didn't stop Artemis from being rusty, her mind had become more tuned into taking care of dogs than it was fighting enemies. She couldn't so easily come up with combat moves on the fly. Plus she was weaker, a belly forming where there had once been muscle. Maybe that was all an excuse though, maybe the real reason she didn't think they could win was because Artemis knew that she was holding back. Holding back because she thought her life of fighting and wars was over, and she was scared of them. Fearful of what fighting one more time would lead to.

Whilst she had plenty of belief in Wanda's abilities, she couldn't help but think their chances were slim. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know what she _could_ do.

Their hands began to glow their respected colours as both the warriors stepped forward, raising their weapons, everyone waiting until someone made the first move.

Behind them a train went past, at first it was just background noise, nothing to impede them but then, somehow, Artemis began to sense something _more_. No, not something. Someone.

It was strange, and she imagined that it was like when two magnets were pulled together. Yes, that was exactly the sensation she felt vibrating her bones and bursting her mind with endorphins. It was her soul, being pulled towards the new company. That meant it could only be one person.

It was him. Oh god, _it was him_. Steve Rogers, her soldier.

* * *

 **A/N: Hi there, the pain is incredibly bad right now and the entire right side of my face is on fire but this chapter is super important. I know this sucks but there won't be a chapter tomorrow just cause that's when I'm going to be at the dentist and stuff, I'm sorry!**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, here you go then ^^**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, he's even better in this chapter, I really do love him and can't wait for you guys to meet him in the other stories (if you read them of course, I ain't gonna force ya). I've actually got a lot planned, I'll be writing a Bucky fanfiction called Bones Becoming Flowers as well as a side project with a fellow writer that will combine Amelia's universe with the other writers universe. It'll let you guys see more of Amelia, as well as some Mum!Amelia so I'm looking forward to that. Then, if I have time I'll also be starting a Peter Parker fanfiction that I've already written little snippets for. But I doubt I'll get all of this written before Avengers 4 so the Peter fanfic won't happen until after I've done the Bucky fanfic and finished this fanfic ^^ I do like that idea though**

 **To shugokage, thank you! I'm glad the pick up lines and jokes were enjoyable and not cringey (or at least cringey in a good way)**

 **To Sam0728, SO MUCH LOVE, WHAT DOES ONE DO WITH THIS MUCH LOVE?**

 **To Pitspee, if you ever do let me know because I'd love to be the first one to read your work lol. And it's nice to know I've destroyed your trust that much with Aaron, but no, Jonathan is Jonathan. You'll learn more about him in the other stories if you choose to read them. Diana Prince is pretty much my go to now when I tell people her face claim, and that's another thing I owe to you because you showed me those fanarts. And ikr, if she ever does actually face Thanos it'll be a badass motherfucking scene. You won't have to imagine the reunion for much longer!**

 **To Assbitch67, bish what do you mean Amelia doesn't deserve Jonathan? How dare you? I'm kidding. You're right. She deserves a slap on the wrist tbh, but also Steve. They need to love each other again man. And you know me, I harm every character I have whether it be through a physical act or emotional torture ;) You're not doing a very good job as the Mexican Autocorrect Bandit, but oh well, now if you don't mind I MOUSTACHE (meant to me must dash... *cough*)**

 **To AngelElmarlienHenning, good to know the change in Amelia is clear and also, I may or may not have just written that particular chapter where Steve finds out.**

 **To rosequartz121, same here but that's because of rain. I don't think I'd be able to survive in snow man, winter is my least favourite holiday because its just... snow, and ice, and pain. I hate snow. If I was God I would delete snow from existence. Honestly, I can't wait for everyone to read the next chapter. For me it's the official chapter 100 and it's also when her and Steve finally meet and just, I'm jumping up and down I'm that excited.**

 **To LoveFiction2018, you kind of got a reunion in this chapter, JUST A LITTLE MORE TO GO!**

 **To Guest, no Jonathan is a great boi, I'm glad to hear you like him ^^ WE'RE ALMOST AT THE REUNION I'M SORRY FOR MAKING YOU WAIT! AND I'M SORRY IF I CAN'T UPDATE TOMORROW BUT I'VE GOT THE DENTIST AND PAIN AND FUN STUFF LIKE THAT**

 **And a big thanks to all my readers, see you in the next one!**


	106. Chapter One-Hundred

**CHAPTER ONE-HUNDRED**

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"Break a vase, and the love that reassembles the fragments is stronger than that love which took its symmetry for granted when it was whole."

― **Derek Walcott**

* * *

It was him. It was him. It was him. Why were those the only words going through her head? _It was him_.

Artemis suddenly didn't know what to do with herself. How to stand, what face to make, words were definitely forgotten to her and her hands felt suddenly awkward. Everyone else in the room seemed to disappear as she just stared at him, looking into a shadow, only seeing a silhouette but knowing it was him because of the way her soul reached out with a desperate hand towards him crying out for him to return the gesture, begging the shadowed figure to take her into his arms and never let go again.

She didn't think it was possible, to miss someone so much yet fear their presence entirely. The brunette couldn't help but wonder if he felt it too, that force pulling them back together, that hand throttling their hearts, or maybe it was their lungs, or maybe it was their entire body, she couldn't really tell as her entire body disassociated itself from the world. It should have all made her sick, perhaps faint, yet the sensation made her feel more alive than she had in the past two years.

Her unawareness of the world around them made her miss when Gaga threw her spear towards the soldier. When it whizzed passed her she did gasp, a panicked emotion bursting through her frazzled exterior, replaced by overwhelming gratefulness when Steve managed to capture the staff in his hand, dodging it and taking it into his own palm with an easiness that told Artemis that he'd spent the past two years still fighting.

What had she really expected him to do though? Find a beach in the middle of nowhere and adopt a couple of dogs? No, that wasn't his style. He always needed to be doing something, even in peace, he had to constantly be doing _something_. It was the cruel work of fate that the one thing he felt he needed to do all the time was fight, the one thing she just couldn't do anymore.

The soldier stepped forward into the light, and Artemis expected a hardened gaze on his enemy meant not to intimidate but to warn them, warn them that they didn't want to get into a fight with him. Instead what she got was his blue's connecting with her black's. She wanted time to stand still, more than _anything_ all Artemis wanted was to be able to stand in that moment simply as a girl and him as a boy, as two hearts torn apart by misfortune but reunited.

That, and she needed a good moment to appreciate the beard he'd grown, the beard that _demanded_ she run her fingers through it immediately. Artemis knew that the situation which drove them apart shunned those sorts of feelings and she also knew that his beard should not be at the forefront of her mind, and yet it was.

Such a luxury was not afforded for her though as there were still two angsty and ugly aliens looking for a fight behind her, which Artemis couldn't help but feel was quite rude, couldn't they see that she was having a moment?

Gaga and Gollum were analysing the soldier, looking to him in a way opposite to Artemis, the only similarity being found in how the three of them were shocked at his presence. They were so distracted with their staring that they didn't notice the oncoming pilot behind them, not until they heard the flap of his wings. Gaga turned only to see two legs ramming into her body, shoving her all the way inside an Italian coffee shop. She was getting sick and tired of being thrown into things, that was for sure.

Gollum started moving forward, aiming to go help his comrade and give up on their mission as clearly they were outnumbered. Sam swerved around the train station, dodging any scaffolding and flying towards the other alien warrior. He brought up his hand and began to press buttons on the controller attached to his wrist, the certain buttons he pressed causing rockets to be launched at Gollum. The warrior wasn't outnumbered like Gaga had been against Artemis' shards, for the most part he managed to block the rockets but it turned out those were only meant for distraction as behind him appeared Natasha.

Steve threw the staff he'd gotten a hold of towards the blonde spy so that she could slide down on her knees and slice the back of Gollum's legs, attempting to bring him lower but he remained determined to stand, throwing out his staff around himself but not aiming low enough, leaving enough room for Nat to slip under and then stab the spear end of the staff into his stomach. He released a howl of pain at the sound.

Meanwhile, the brunette stood to the side, watching the fight and doing everything she could to not allow herself to become transfixed by the soldier again. She felt hyped, for the first time in two years she felt her heart beating erratically with a fresh new excitement as she watched her old teammates run into the fight.

From the corner of her eyes she noticed that Gaga was running to return to the fight just as Nat was finishing off Gollum. Taking no chances for her best friend, she sprung into action, jogging forward and jumping into a game of hand-to-hand combat with her, hands glowing black and white as she pushed away any fist that got too close. It was an improvement to the last fight they'd had, whilst Artemis was still slower than usual, she thought more on her openings, keeping an eye on every limb the alien owned which could turn into a weapon. Especially those horns, which had already done a great deal of damage to her head that Artemis was trying to heal but when concentrating on other things it was a little difficult.

Her teeth remained gritted the entire fight, her muscles beginning to ache as she continued to deflect doing her best to try and find an opening. It would be easier to just do Natasha's move of wrapping around Gaga's throat and throwing her to the floor but that was a move which she hadn't done in quite a while and she wasn't sure if her flexibility was up to par.

As the alien warrior threw another punch she avoided it by twirling her body around, moving behind her and then throwing out her elbow right into her spine. Gaga was knocked over slightly but kept her footing. Now facing Natasha who was stood over her counterpart, the warrior raised up her hand and to the blonde spy's surprise, the weapon she'd been using was pulled from her grasp straight into Gaga's hand. Just as Artemis ran forward raising her foot to kick her down, the warrior turned and squatted to avoid the attack, then pushing out her staff and looping it into Artemis' leg, able to then twist both her staff and the leg so that the psychic fell to the floor.

Gaga wasted no time before getting on top of the fallen fighter, driving her staff downward but Artemis used her powers to stop it from actually slamming down on her face. Gaga didn't really need to hit her though as the end of the staff Art was facing was the side which could shoot out energy beams. It began to glow a threatening blue, the colour that usually brought her great comfort supplying only terror that time.

It was the second time she was staring death in the face, but Artemis did not fear it so much that time because she had something new, she had faith. And the brunette was not disappointed as she saw from the corner of her eye Steven Grant Rogers. He rushed passed Natasha, grasping the staff that had fallen from Gollum's grasp and using it to knock away Gaga's own staff, proceeding to twist the golden spear in his hand to knock the alien warrior off the top of the psychic.

Once removed, Steve came to stand in front of Artemis, making sure that the alien warrior wouldn't be able to get to her again. He was _protecting_ her. It shouldn't have been so surprising, once upon a time they were lovers, yet Amelia felt as though her heart had stopped beating for a second when she realised what he was doing.

Whilst remaining on the floor, Artemis reached out with glowing hands to lock down Gaga's feet, Steve administering another attack using the staff. It was strange seeing him use such a weapon as in her head she could only ever picture him with a shield, ramming people or throwing it at them like a deadly frisbee. Still, there was something about watching him fight which twisted a delicious coil in her stomach. Again, she had to shake her head at that feeling, wishing it to be wrong despite how right the sensation felt.

The two warriors became pinned together as she tried to pierce Steve's chest and he pushed the staff he possessed in the way, Gaga still tried her best to push the blades forward and for a split second the alien thought she was winning. Artemis knew that was only because Steve hadn't yet shown his true strength. That came shortly after, his muscles bulging as he threw her backwards, surprising her with the strength he'd displayed. Steve then successfully hit her with the staff, twisting around her. Artemis knew what move he was going to do next and she saw Natasha getting out her batons, so she released Gaga's legs from her telekinetic hold just as the alien warrior thought she was safe from tumbling; Steve, at the same time, knocked the staff into her and pushed her towards Natasha who was ready and waiting, beginning to throw her batons and hit the warrior where it would normally hurt on a human.

Steve joined in, the two of them throwing hits and making any move that Gaga made ineffective. It was a marvel to watch, that was for sure. Artemis stared, still kneeled on the ground, her eyes analysing every move made and watching made her reminisce about better times. When they would all fight together, working in unison wordlessly and defeating all their enemies with ease because they were all just _unstoppable_.

Sam was the one to finish the fight, launching his body like a rocket at the distracted alien warrior and hitting her with his feet which once again threw her back. That time she was launched exactly where she wanted to be though, stumbling her way over to Gollum that she then proceeded to hover over protectively.

To Artemis' surprise, whilst the enemies were recovering from the attack, Steve wandered over to her. She stared at his feet, unsure if she'd be able to cope with looking at his face again. Half because of the unexpected feelings he brought forth, and also because she didn't want to look in his eyes and see them as empty and hollow when he looked back at her.

As if the moment couldn't become any more anxiety-inducing, he offered her his hand. Her eyes moved to the large calloused hand, and then, despite every inch of her body telling her not to, those black orbs raised up to his face and, oh god, he was looking back at her with the most complicated, yet simple, expression on his face. How was that possible? How was he possible? How was it possible that she was looking at him then but feeling no hatred when that was all she'd ever imagined?

Slowly, tentatively, as though his one touch could kill her, Artemis reached out with her own hand and took his. She didn't die instantaneously, in fact, the only thing she felt was a slight twinge of humour because some things just never changed. Her hand still fit entirely perfectly inside of his hand.

He helped Artemis onto her feet gently, treating her as though she was as frail as glass or maybe it was himself that he feared would break. That was how Artemis felt as well so she didn't judge him for it.

Neither made a comment, their mouths remaining shut and their attention moving onto the alien warriors. The entire team moved to stand in front of the two foes, domineering above them. Artemis could easily see Gaga staring up at them with an analytical gaze, peering at them and deciding whether the fight was worth trying. "Get up," the alien warrior asked of her partner but he shook his head, wheezing out a pained 'I can't'. Outnumbered and with one of their warriors ultimately defeated, she made the smart decision to not stand back up. The brunette half expected them to put their hands up in defeat but she should have known better.

"We don't want to kill you," Natasha began to threaten, tone cold, "but we will."

Gaga glared over at the blonde, "you'll never get the chance again." It was a vow, a promise to them all, that they would return and the next time they did it would all be over. The alien warrior's eyes slipped over to Artemis who stood beside Steve awkwardly, her gaze easily readable, telling the brunette that when she did come back, she _would_ finish their fight. Turning away, on her wrist Gaga pressed something which caused a white beam to appear above them, dragging the two warriors up into the air and away from them.

The sudden beam seemed to scare everyone, all of them well aware of alien movies where white beams would appear and kidnap creatures of Earth so they all stood back, Steve automatically pushing out a hand towards Artemis so she knew to take a step back.

Some things never changed, Artemis thought, but then glumly remembered that despite all the things that had remained the same, there were still gargantuan changes in their relationship, some of which Steve wasn't even aware of.

Just as the aliens disappeared from sight, the staff in Steve's hand was pulled from his fingers and Artemis couldn't help but smile slightly at the way he looked confusedly at his empty hand then back at the beam which faded away quickly. The donut spaceship that was above them (Artemis wondered how long exactly it had been there) flew off back into the clouds, back into space. Everyone remained quiet after that, the only sound being Wanda in the background checking up on Vision, everyone else coming to terms with what they'd just seen and what it all meant.

Everyone, except for Jonathan. "That," the scruffy haired brunette appeared from behind the sign that had covered his position for most of the fight, gaining the attention of the three runaways who had been too distracted to notice, " _was awesome_!" He raised up his right fist, clearly feeling more victorious than the rest of them did. The aliens had gotten away and promised to come back, that wasn't exactly a win in Artemis' books, but she still appreciated his positivity.

"One of yours?" Natasha asked, looking to her best friend and leading everyone else to stare at her as well.

She felt too aware of a certain someone looking at her, the same way someone would be aware of a dagger in their heart. "A civilian," she explained, doing her best to keep her eyes fixed on Natasha, "I couldn't leave him behind because then he'd have been in danger."

Natasha was smirking and Artemis hoped it was for any other reason besides the fact that she was intensely staring at her and clearly avoiding looking anywhere else. "Careful, you're starting to speak like an agent again."

The brunette rolled her eyes, "ha ha," she fake laughed.

"Oh my god!" Jonathan's footsteps echoed through the vicinity as he jogged over towards them. "You're Captain America!" He pointed over to Steve, then Nat. "And you're the Black Widow! Holy shit! I have all your action figures! Why am I saying that out loud?! I'm so sorry, I had a lot to drink." The hand he'd used to point at them went into his hair, tugging at the ends as he began to look suddenly tired.

"What? No action figure of me?" Sam questioned, clearly offended by Jonathan's lack of fangirling towards him.

Artemis patted his shoulder twice, "so underappreciated," she commented and the pilot gave her a strict nod, her words gospel to him. So busy trying to comfort Sam over his lack of action figure that she did not notice the two rogues looking at her baffled by the company she chose to keep, the messy stranger coming across quite insane. She looked between the both of them, not understanding at first why she was receiving such stares until Natasha nodded her head over towards Jonathan.

She gave a slow nod of understanding and then stepped towards Jonathan, "I'll uh, go sort him out." The scruffy haired male kept looking between her and the superheroes in front of him in obvious amazement. "Jonathan, a word please?" She requested of her human companion and he did give a nod of his head though his gaze remained locked on the people before him, still struggling with believing it was actually them, the heroes from his childhood, the people that saved New York, his home. He'd also seen the destruction, of course he had, for a certain time period the Avengers destruction was the only thing being shown on media. But he understood the price for peace better than most, so rather than seeing it as a loss, he looked only to what they'd gained.

Whilst she moved away with Jonathan, the others returned to Wanda and Vision though Steve's attention seemed more taken by the two retreating figures. Artemis was just stood so close to him, her hand wrapped sweet-tempered around his wrist and a smile latched on her face like she found him as adorable as an excited child. It was clear that the soldier was trying to keep his eyes on Vision, knowing that they were supposed to be his priority. Sam had walked over to help the android stand up and Vision looked towards Cap gratefully, saying an earnest thank you as he understood that the fracture between their split group might have stopped any other man from coming to his aid. But not Captain America, not Steve Rogers, not a _good_ man.

Steve gave Vision a wholesome nod of his head, not feeling the need to explain, but also not feeling the need to say anything about their previous feud because it was a thing of the past being overshadowed by something much bigger. His eyes moved back over to Jonathan and Artemis who'd stopped walking a bit away to have a private conversation which he was trying not to listen into. He didn't know how long he'd be able to keep himself from prying though. "Let's get Vision on the jet," he ordered to the team, mostly wanting to get away from Artemis before anyone noticed the way he kept being drawn to her.

Everyone agreed with his decision and began to leave the train station again, Sam hooking one arm under Vision's shoulder whilst Wanda assisted on his other side. The witch was watching Steve carefully, counting how many times his eyes had strayed over to Artemis in just under a minute. Twelve times.

"They met at the bar," Wanda spoke her words bravely, deep down wanting to get back at her Captain for letting someone as good as Artemis slip through his fingers, hoping that her words might be good enough to trigger something between them as it was clear he'd already been affected by her presence. "Hit it off instantly. He's quite charming."

"Stop trying to get her in trouble," Nat warned from behind them, able to guess what the witch was trying to do as she'd also thought about saying something. In the end the blonde spy had decided she would simply leave Steve and Art to their own devices, they'd made it through the hardest part which was seeing each other again and she was sure the circumstances would cause them to create some sort of bond, maybe one good enough to heal the both of them. Natasha hadn't even thought that Artemis would decide to go back to her beach shack instead of joining their new fight.

Artemis watched her friends leave, knowing that they were going to the jet and the brunette felt slightly relieved because that meant she'd be able to make a break for it without having to say goodbye. She'd never really been good at doing that.

"Listen, you need to get the next train out of here and find somewhere safe," the brunette advised Jonathan, looking at the sign which showed all arrivals, hoping to find one which might take him to an airport as it was clear from his accent that he wasn't really from Scotland, but America. "If you have family, get them to safety as well. Those aliens are going to be coming back and I'm worried about what will happen when they do."

Jonathan nodded his head in understanding as to what she was saying, his awe at the heroes fading as Artemis finally got across just how much danger, not only him, but the entire human race was in. She still had a hand on his arm, a comforting touch that erupted pins and needles all over where her skin pressed against his. "Okay, but what about you?"

"Me?" The question had surprised her because she hadn't expected him of all people to wonder such a thing. Natasha, maybe. Wanda, probably. But they all knew of her desire to avoid anything that would trouble her mind. Then she realised his intention with that question wasn't to change her mind, he'd only asked it out of concern. Maybe she was jaded after all.

"Yeah, I mean, will I ever get to see you again?" His question held more depth than it sounded like at first, there weren't any romantic intentions hidden behind the words as he'd already displayed in the restaurant that he understood their friendship wouldn't escalate to anything more than _just_ a friendship.

"Probably not." She shrugged her shoulders, trying to remain light-hearted. She just wasn't a social person anymore, in fact, had she ever really been one?

"Because you're Cap's girl, right?" There was a small amount of bitterness carried in his words but he hid it well behind a prideful expression, feeling like he'd discovered the secret to the universe. "I remember you now. I have your action figure too."

"There's an action figure of me?" Artemis was almost tempted to ask if they sold well but she was pretty sure she already knew the answer. She wasn't a hero, and the media hadn't seen her as one ever since she joined the Avengers. She waved her hand in Jonathan's face. "Wait, no, I don't want to know. I'm not her anymore, I'm not Amelia Stark. I'm going to help you get to safety and then I'm going home, I have to."

Jonathan's eyebrows drew together. "But if it's really as dangerous as you're making it out to be, don't you think you should go with your team instead?"

Yes, she should, and that was exactly the problem.

* * *

 **A/N: CHAPTER 100! STEVE AND AMELIA! JONATHAN! I'M SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS CHAPTER! Now the ball can really start rolling, the question is, will Amelia stay or go?**

 **Also, I went to the dentist appointment, they didn't actually give my mouth any time to numb before pulling the tooth out so that was fun and painful and I literally shook violently for an entire hour afterward. But at least I'm posting this chapter and not crying in the corner of my room.**

 **To Pitspee, I love that myth so much and I've referenced it before because the idea is just so nice, especially the fact that it doesn't break. I'd definitely equate it to Stevia. Hope you enjoyed the chapter!**

 **To xLaBellaVita, I HOPE YOU LIKED THE REUNION**

 **To Guest, wow... you managed to guess Steve's jealousy right away lol, well done. I hope you liked the reunion ^^**

 **To BrittStar1199, DADDY STEVE! I literally call him that all the fucking time, it's becoming a problem. There's more to Jonathan than what meets the eye, but you won't find that out unless you read the other fanfictions I write, but yeah, he's a badass with a pure heart. And I'm glad to hear that people are seeing the change in Amelia ^^**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, hope you enjoyed the reunion as well as Jonathan's reaction, it'd probably be a lot worse but he's seen somethings and he's also extremely drunk which is helping him take everything in.**

 **To shugokage, thank you so much ^^ Action scenes are one of my weaknesses so I'm glad to hear that it went well, hope you enjoyed the rest of the reunion**

 **To RavagerRoseWilson, glad you've enjoyed all the new chapters so far, hopefully this was another good one**

 **To rosequartz121, sorry about the cliffhanger but hey least you didn't have to wait two days to get it like I thought you would. And Amelia will show off her powers a little later, this is just her stretching her legs after a while of sitting down. Also, dog mum, yes, that is her official title.**

 **To LoveFiction2018, with an additional beard!**

 **To Visenyas, how did you think Amelia would react, I'm curious to know? And I will be giving you a Steve POV soon just so you can get a better idea on his thoughts and what he's like after the two years away. My biggest thing that I want to get across is that Steve will be different from the one displayed in the movies because losing Amelia has affected him in some ways.**

 **To Assbitch67, hope your appointment went well, mine went painfully but I suppose that's kind of expected. The donkey is called Pablo? I'm just imagining a comic book now called 'The Mexican Autocorrect Bandit and Pablo the Donkey'. Marvel, get on it immediately!**

 **And a big thank you to everyone that simply read the chapter, hope you've all had a nice day!**


	107. Chapter One Hundred and One

**CHAPTER ONE-HUNDRED AND ONE**

* * *

"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough."

― **Mae West**

* * *

Artemis stared at the door of the quinjet, silently observing her old team that were wandering around, setting up for take off, the brunette feeling like a ghost haunting them. Feeling like she wasn't really there, or was it that she was someone who wasn't supposed to be there? It was strange, but she was being hit by a sense of deja vu, able to recall an actual dream which was oddly similar to the situation she was in.

It must have been over a year ago that she'd experienced the dream. After falling asleep she'd found herself wandering down a long hallway filled with doors, most of which didn't interest her at all. Except for three. The first one was a worn door with blue paint chipping off of it revealing a dirty white. It smelt rotten, like damp wood mixed with decay. It was the first one she'd opened.

Inside this particular door, the ocean was revealed. It was stormy and carnivorous, the sounds of lapping water as loud as any lightning strike. It called to her aggressively, demanding she jump into its torrential waters and be consumed. Artemis should have closed the door instantly but it was quite mesmerising, watching the ever changing tide singing a song of crushed metal and stone, and hidden secrets, and a permanent solution. Her foot even took a step forward, as though she were being charmed by a siren's song. The only thing that pierced her hypnotised state was a laugh, it was deep and rumbled like an earthquake through her veins, making her take a step back and look to the hallway once more.

The laughter only sounded once, and even then it had barely been audible, so when Artemis tried to chase after it, her search became hopeless quite quickly. None of the doors felt important to her, not like that chipped door had. It took another ten minutes of walking down the endless hallway of doors before she came to find one which literally beaconed her like a lighthouse, it's glistening yellow frame - like melting gold - reflected the dull light in the hallway and made everything seem ten times as bright.

"Noah!" She heard someone from inside the door call, a familiar voice that carried the same weight in their tone as the laugh she'd previously heard.

Her black hole eyes bulged at the name being called. "It can't be…" Despite the fear quivering her words, her body rushed with false courage, her hand reaching out to twist the door handle and then she shoved it again, revealing a scene that might as well have just been a pack of wolves tearing apart her heart.

It was Steve, dressed in a mundane button-up cream shirt with mundane blue jeans and mundane brown boots, looking spectacularly human and not at all like a superhero, and twisting underneath his legs was a small child. _Their_ child. Noah, that was the name she'd wanted to give her unborn son but never could because of what had happened. Yet there he was, as small as a dollhouse, stumbling his way around his father's legs and laughing loudly with a chuckle too high pitched to be the one she'd heard before. Behind them was an open field, plenty of space for the child to run around, and off in the distance stood a large farmhouse. It looked new, yet traditional, standing profoundly in the open field like that was exactly where it was supposed to be.

They both stopped when she opened the door, their eyes turning to look over to Artemis. Noah had his fathers eyes, and his mother's smile. He reached out with a hand, opening and closing it, trying to grab her but she was just out of reach. "Mummy!" Noah beamed, brighter than any sun that existed.

She wanted to reach out too, wanting to jump inside that door like she was going to do with the ocean's door. It was another means to an end, one life that would help her escape reality.

"I'm not sure I want to hear the rest of this story," a gleeful voice reverberated down the hallway, a mixture of both disgust and laughter.

Her head twisted away from the family behind that door, finding that she'd somehow made it to the end of the seemingly endless hallway; or maybe it had found her. The chuckle she'd heard earlier that broke through her reverie with the ocean door sounded again, and Artemis knew for sure that it was definitely coming from there. There wasn't actually a door that she could see, just a doorway, the scene open for her, revealing the familiar sight of a quinjet's interior. Everyone was inside. Tony, Thor, Natasha, Bruce, Clint, Wanda, Vision, Sam, and Steve. Amelia Stark's family, that she'd never truly appreciated enough.

She couldn't help but wander closer towards it, not desiring it as much as she had what belonged behind the golden door. Yet, Artemis couldn't help but notice that the situation unfolding behind that doorway, the family, it was the one door that didn't bring her any anxiety or terror or overwhelm her in some way. That door felt right. It was the 'would' of doors. The ocean was 'could', Noah was a 'should' and that open doorway was a would. It would always be there for her, it would always be welcome, it would always be available to her and it would always have a place in her heart.

Steve, who was sat in one of the corners of the quinjet, threw his head back as he laughed again, face turning red whilst he struggled to breathe and get his words out. He patted Sam's chest who was sat behind him, trying to work out some of the giggles vibrating his body. "And then she said 'but it looked like a rock!'" He eventually managed to wheeze out, his body erupting with more loud laughs which the rest of the team joined in with. Her brother was revealing a toothy grin and shaking his head as he leaned against the wall, Vis and Wanda were sat together and whilst Wanda covered her hand with her mouth, Vision just had a small smile and Artemis wondered if he actually understood that the conversation was supposed to be funny. Nat and Clint were where the pilots go, having to stop their pressing of buttons to laugh. Bruce was placed close to Natasha and though he didn't laugh as boisterously as the others, he was cringing slightly with his chest rumbling. Thor was the second loudest behind Steve, slapping his hand on his knee with that beaming grin (which seemed forever glued to his face) lighting up the entire room like lightning would strike through a pitch black night sky.

"Oh my god," Natasha groaned out loud shamefully, and Artemis remained at the doorway raising an eyebrow, trying to understand what they were talking about but she didn't have much to go on.

"I can't believe she's my sister," Tony seemed more humoured than shamefaced, and considering he only had one sister, that helped her deduce that the conversation topic was actually about her. That was all she was able to discern though, a slight anxiety peaking at the bottom of her heart as they all continued to laugh over her. What had she done that called for such hilarity?

"What happened afterward?" Thor questioned, leaning forward with great interest striking a light in his blue eyes. Thor had really nice blue eyes that Amelia had never paid attention to as she'd been too taken by Steve's and felt like if she appreciated any others then she'd be cheating somehow. Looking back, it was strange to think just how dedicated she had been to him, and how childish.

"We abandoned both shoes and I carried her the rest of the walk on my back." The memories only seemed to bring more joy to the soldier, the smile on his face refreshing to her even if it was only a figment of her dream. It was placed so easily and made him look so relaxed, like wars and family feuds were non-existent.

"Oh my god." It had finally clicked in Artemis' head what event Steve was talking about, the embarrassing memory burnt into her mind of when they'd gone on a picnic in a field. There had been a row of large brown stones which she'd been skipping on, completely unaware that one of them wasn't actually stone but a giant wad of cow feces. She'd practically dived into it, her feet immediately sinking into the pile and she'd screamed loudly, even cried a little. Steve had been helpful, not immediately laughing and helping her get out of her shoes so she could jump onto his back. Thankfully she'd worn boots that day so none of the feces ended up on her skinny jeans.

She charged into the quinjet - the hallway of doorways disappearing completely the second she chose to enter that particular doorway - and pointed a finger over at the soldier who realised her presence and then looked at her with fear completely wiping away his joy, he pushed himself deeper into his seat, trying to disappear as everyone else in the jet watched with even wider smiles, greedy for a fight between the two. "You told them the cow poo story! How could you?" Artemis questioned, aghast, her voice becoming more high-pitched with vexation.

"How could you jump onto a pile of giant brown sludge?" Natasha rebutted for Steve, earning a gentle slap on the knee from Clint who was doing his best to hide his own laughter after seeing how clearly upset and embarrassed Amelia was. The rest of the Avengers were clearly trying to do the same, Vision seemed to be the only one managing it but he wasn't really laughing to begin with; the only thing the android seemed to be doing his hardest at was restraining a big grin whenever he looked over to Wanda and saw her trying her hardest not to laugh at her older sister.

"It looked like a rock!" Amelia argued in her defense, throwing out her arms before crossing them moodily over her chest. A pout formed on its own as everyone continued to laugh louder at the excuse she'd thrown out. "Oh, fuck you guys."

The sniggerings continued but Steve at least attempted to give his girlfriend some comfort, standing up and moving behind her so he could wrap his arms around her shoulders, hugging her close to his warm chest. "I- I'm sorry," it proved difficult for him to actually get the words out and halt any chuckles trying to escape. The soldier cringed at the way his apology had cracked as easily as pottery, the repeating imagery of his lovers face as she jumped into the pile of cow manure playing over in his head every time he tried to avoid the memories. It made him try twice as hard to comfort him, beginning to sway them from side to side whilst pressing delicate kisses to her sharp jawline.

"Yeah, try saying that to me without laughing," Amelia grumbled, hiding the way she melted in his arms poorly.

The dream had ended there, as the Avengers being one big family again, all together, and it was one of the only times that she awoke actually feeling relaxed and serene, a sense of melancholy hitting her later on in the day as Artemis realised that such a situation would never happen again. Thor was gone, she'd never see half the team ever again because of them being with Steve who she'd likely never see again for both of their own sanity. Of course, this dream happened after her first interaction with Natasha which ended with an argument, so her hope of seeing even her best friend ever again was very low then too.

It made her feel even more strange as she remembered feeling like reuniting with those people was a huge impossibility, yet there they all were, in a quinjet, and whilst they might not have all been joking and playing around like a family, they were together, which felt like it should have counted for something. That was the hardest part, right? Seeing each other again and being civil towards one another.

" _But if it's really as dangerous as you're making it out to be, don't you think you should go with your team instead?"_ Jonathan's words had been enough motivation to get her outside of the quinjet, but actually stepping inside and joining their cause was a different matter. Wanda had been the only one to notice her so far, sending her a small smile before placing her attention on taking care of her wounded lover. Steve was sat thinking, of what, Artemis wasn't quite sure. Natasha was preparing the ship for take off whilst looking very unhappy, which Art could only guess was due to the discovery that Wanda and Vision had been reenacting Romeo and Juliet without telling her, the spy who usually knew everyone's secrets.

They'd have probably set off sooner but they were all waiting for Artemis to join, simply assuming that because she was also there than she would jump back onto the team for the sake of the world. She understood why they'd think that. She'd fought against the aliens and protected her friends, she'd behaved like an Avenger again.

It was a hard decision for the brunette, to join forces again or to return home. The situation certainly called for her to join back, if her dreams were true and if what Grandma had said was true, then she needed to join back with them in order to save the world. In fact, if what Grandma had said right before she left was indeed true, then she needed to do much more than just join with them.

Artemis needed to do something much more foul, but it was simply too much. What Grandma had asked her to do was just _too much_. That meant there really was only two choices, join with the Avengers or go home.

She thought about how it was safer back at home, or it would at least be safer for a short while before Thanos landed on Earth. She thought about all the peace that belonged to her on that island, and how if she restarted her relationship with the rest of the Avengers than perhaps that peace would become lost to her. And then she thought about another memory she had, another time with Gran where the wise old woman had passed on some wisdom from her own life experiences.

There was a surprising amount she'd learnt from her friend, lots of wisdom that in the moment she'd believed were of no use, and yet all those moments were conjoining into blazing guidance for the brunette.

 _Artemis was in her damaged home throwing a ball at one of the walls which Squidgy, Scrumpy, and Junior all charged towards with great determination. The paint on her wall was falling off, building a pile on the ground that she would end up cleaning later on. A storm was aggressively pounding on her windows, a wolf threatening to blow her house down, and so she was stuck inside using her powers to keep the building standing and fixed in place._

 _There was a sudden rapid knock being pounded onto her closed door, the handle twisting but of course, because of her powers, the door was sealed shut. Sitting up from her laid position on the floor, she turned to the door and released her powers only on that spot, allowing Gran to stumble inside, soaked to the bone._

 _Remaining lazily perched on the floor, she placed her shield back around the door and then she moved her hand towards a pile of freshly dried washing waiting to be carried upstairs, from it she took a long black towel, making it graciously drift towards Gran and then flop on her head._

" _Thanks," the elder woman huffed, actually utilising the still warm towel, starting with drying her hair._

" _Feel free to borrow some of my clothes as well," Artemis offered, her voice monotone whilst she returned to throwing the ball at the wall. Squidgy was the one to finally grab it, the smallest amongst the free dogs, and once it was in her grasp she tried to run away with it. Artemis had realised that Squidgy liked to play her own separate game where she wanted others to try and get the toy from her. It was quite amusing sometimes but in that moment Artemis was feeling far too lazy to chase after the puppy. So, instead, she let out a long sigh._

 _Gran eyed the groaning girl through a space in her towel, eventually placing it down altogether. "What are you doing?"_

 _Artemis shrugged. "Just throwing a ball." She turned around to lay on her stomach so she could look Gran in the eye, no longer actually playing with the ball seen as Squidgy had stolen it and was running around the house with the other dogs in tow chasing her. "There's not a lot of things to do here." The storm had stopped her from receiving any reception so the TV was out of use, she didn't really enjoy watching the TV anyway as she was far too used to a lifestyle of constantly doing something. There was no other room in the house for her to fix up as she needed to go get materials to do so, and she couldn't go out cause she needed to stay home and make sure that her home actually remained standing. All she had left to do, was throw a ball._

" _Then why did you pick here to live?" Gran scoffed out her question, moving into the kitchen and turning on the kettle so that she could prepare herself a hot drink to warm up her numb fingers. "If you wanted to keep your mind busy you should have moved to a city or something."_

" _I wanted to be as far away from everything in my life as I could. This," she gestured around herself, "is the complete opposite of what my life used to be like." It was exactly what she needed, peace and quiet, or that's what she'd believed anyway. There were times like that one, when the silence would be incomprehensibly loud, that regrets would surface like a corpse in a river up her throat and to the back of her eyes._

" _I wanted that too," Grandma responded, turning back around to converse with her friend whilst the kettle boiled the water for them. Artemis also stood up, joining Gran in the kitchen and grabbing two mugs, a jug of milk and some sugar. Neither of them really enjoyed hot drinks, but sometimes when the weather was considerably cold, the warm beverages were very much required. The old woman started to look out of the window distantly. "I wanted to get away from the man who broke my heart, but it ended up being a stupid idea," her voice turned soft and her eyes remained steady on the pouring rain outside, "I loved exploring, discovering, spending time with people that are good and that made me good. I thought I needed to separate myself from everything just to heal, but what I really needed to do is grow up, and that's nearly impossible when you're on your own."_

" _No offense, but, then why are you here?" Artemis asked curiously, trying to seem like she didn't care too much when in reality she was immensely interested in Gran's story. She was only ever able to hear bits and pieces, never getting fulfilling details._

 _Gran laughed and turned away from the window, looking down at her feet instead as a bitter smile grew gracefully, "the man I loved broke my heart, again."_

" _So you're just making the same mistake again?" Sometimes when Artemis asked those sort of questions, it felt like she was defending her own decisions rather than just discussing Grandma's past. There were similarities that could be found in their situations, and whenever Grandma would talk about those situations she seemed opposed to Artemis' thinking. The moment earlier was a testimony to that. Whilst Artemis believed being alone was the best thing for her, Gran would oppose such an idea and because of the elderly woman's experience in life it was always hard for her to argue._

 _As she'd almost expected the older woman to do, Gran shook her head, disagreeing with Artemis. "No, I'm here to put things right," Grandma responded, looking towards Artemis and the brunette was struck by the resolution lighting up her wrinkled face like a passionate, immortal, flame, it was the expression of a woman on a mission, a mission they planned to only succeed at. As the kettle behind her clicked, the expression disappeared. No, it didn't vanish, it was hidden behind the usual serene expression Gran would carry. "Now, do you still have those games I brought over?" The old woman requested, changing the subject and turning to the kettle, beginning to prepare the hot milk's for the both of them._

" _Yes, but Uno is terrible and I refuse to play," she argued, lazily slipping onto the kitchen counter as Grandma prepared the hot drink. It was a simple moment but it humbled Artemis, making her feel like she actually had a grandmother for a moment, someone that would lovingly take care of her._

" _You're just saying that because you get beaten every time by a frail old lady," Grandma challenged._

" _Old, you are. Frail,_ _ **never**_ _."_

" _That is the correct answer, my dear!" As Gran turned around to hand Artemis her finished hot milk, she also gave the brunette a wink._

Taking what Grandma had said into consideration, the lesson she was gouging from that moment was that separating herself from her old team would only work for a few short moments. She'd already grown as a person, she had healed. She knew she'd healed because no matter how many times she looked at Steve, she couldn't find any hatred in her heart. Grandma had helped her change. Just as the old woman had said, being around people is the best way to make changes to a person's soul.

Maybe she was more prepared for interacting with her old family than she thought she was. All she needed to do was be brave.

And she'd never get as good a reason to be brave as an oncoming alien invasion.

Taking in a deep breath, she imagined her insides transforming into indestructible steel as she stepped forward inside the quinjet, pretending that it was as easy as it had been in her dream. But there was no large family waiting for her inside, no hugs from Steve, no laughter.

Sam was sat in the pilot's seat, Natasha scouting through the back of the quinjet, sending Wanda a glare. "I thought we had a deal," she scorned the witch, "stay close, check in, don't take any chances." Seeing Vision was possibly the biggest chance Wanda could take.

"Give them a break Nat, they just wanted more time together." She stepped further in as the door at the back of the quinjet began to close, Sam deciding it was time to set off seen as his favourite brunette was finally on the jet with them. Artemis found herself a seat opposite to where Wanda and Vision were, she tried not to think about how close she was to Steve, how she could have chosen somewhere further away from him. She also tried to ignore the feeling of his eyes burning through her skin, mainly because she couldn't blame him for looking, every time he wasn't looking at her she was looking at him. It was easy for her to at least blame her stares on that beard, it was like the seventh wonder of the world to her. Keeping her attention on Nat, she continued with her defending, "are you trying to tell me you haven't wanted more time with someone you loved?" It was a harsh blow, but the words served her purpose and had Natasha clamping her mouth shut.

The former redhead was tempted to argue something about Artemis and Cap but she thankfully resisted, their relationship was a much more sensitive subject, a fresher wound that was still healing and didn't need poking with a stick.

"So Artemis," Sam called from the front of his seat, easily stating her new name without a single stutter or slip-up, "how is the beach life treating you?" Sam had definitely been a close friend she missed a lot, it was their easy-going conversations that she'd find herself desperate for in lonely times.

"I, uh," her eyebrows drew together as she looked over to the pilot, "what did you say?"

From the corner of her eye she noticed Natasha's body stiffening. "How's the beach life treating you?" He repeated, his sentence beginning to slow towards the end as he coined onto the mistake he'd made as well.

"H-How do you know about that?" It was a possibility that he'd just found out from Wanda, but he'd said her name so easily when most people struggled with getting used to the change, that only fueled her suspicions.

"Uh, Nat did," he didn't say when, and Artemis could easily see why from the awkwardness he struggled with hiding.

Natasha _must_ have told them about her before that night, why else would Sam be behaving so strangely? She looked over to the blonde who did look quite apologetic, and then Artemis' eyes moved over to Steve. Had he known too? The thought that he might have only brought more questions to the forefront of her mind, making her wonder if he'd actually asked about her, if he'd asked where she was, and if he'd ever actually tried to see her? Then she wondered, if he did, did she regret not seeing him too?

 _Had Natasha told him about the baby?_

"Where to, Cap?" Sam asked, trying to move on from the conversation after a few seconds of awkward silence, Artemis too busy thinking over the new information she'd gathered to actually say anything else.

For the first time since her arrival, he looked away, eyes dragging over to Sam as he answered the pilot's question, "home."

* * *

 **A/N: Hello there, I'm super busy with life again (a big shock, I know) so I can't confirm if there will be an upload tomorrow or not. Let's hope though, aye? ALSO THE NEXT CHAPTER IS GOING TO BE STEVE'S POV SO YAY FOR THAT!**

 **To Cash1122, oh wow, I'm sorry to hear about your situation and I hope things improve soon for you, I'm also glad that this story can keep you occupied and calm. If you ever want to talk about it you can always PM me. You're welcome for both stories, but also THANK YOU for the review, reviews always keep me grounded.**

 **To AngelElmarlienHenning, glad you liked it, and yes Amelia is DEFINITELY going to have some explaining to do, hopefully you'll get that soon-ish. Thanks for the review!**

 **To xLaBellaVita, aw damn, just as you thank me for updating I had to skip a day, I'M SORRY! I hope this chapter was enjoying even though there isn't much that happens. Also glad you liked the reunion!**

 **To Pitspee, ahaha, the spark will always be strong, they're soul mates forever and always! Also I hope your heart is doing okay lol.**

 **To Sam0728, sadly that's the last of Jonathan that we'll be seeing for this part :( I miss him already. Glad you enjoyed the reunion, hope you enjoyed this update, and I'll see you in the next one!**

 **To shugokage, glad to hear it! This chapters pretty dull other than that dream sequence but it's building onto bigger and brighter (some slightly darker) things!**

 **To LoveFiction2018, yay!**

 **To Faora, I have never heard someone say 'holy stars and garters' before but honestly it's amazing and needs to be said more. Sorry for missing a day after you asked me to update soon, life tends to get in the way lol, hope you enjoyed this one all the same.**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, this chapter didn't provide much of the information that you want so I'm sorry about that, hopefully you still enjoyed it and I promise they'll start talking about the important stuff soon!**

 **To Assbitch67, I'm just imagining you at the side like that mum from Mean Girls yelling out the whole 'slay Jonathan slay' thing. oH MAN DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE CLEANING FLUID! I hadn't had a drink all day before going to the dentist and I seriously needed one afterward but EVERYTHING WAS HORRIBLE1! Excuse me being an uncultured swine, but what is a cardne guesada? I feel like you'd be a much better character in Deadpool tbh, more appreciated for your talent.**

 **To Guest, IS THAT A GOOD OH MY GOD OR A BAD OH MY GOD?**

 **To Visenyas, yay! So glad to hear that you liked the reunion. Things are quite awkward at first but they will have some conversations, some short, one in particular is very long and I'm sure you can guess which one that will be lol. And if she did go running back into his arms I'd consider that bad writing lol, as much as I wish it would just happen. Steve POV is in the next chapter so I hope it shines some light on things, I definitely went into his thought process a lot but some things about what happened during the two years won't be revealed until later on. There will be hints along the way of course because I'm a lover of foreshadowing. Hope you enjoyed the update!**

 **And a big thanks to all the readers! Also, bit of a random question but I haven't seen many comments about her: What do we think about Gran? Please do let me know!**


	108. Chapter One Hundred and Two

**CHAPTER ONE-HUNDRED AND TWO**

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"Being with you and not being with you is the only way I have to measure time."

― **Jorge Luis Borges**

* * *

She was so beautiful. Was it wrong of him to think so? It didn't _feel_ wrong. Amelia looked exactly the same, her dark brown hair was longer but it still fell thickly past her shoulders, half of it put up into a ponytail at the back of her head so the fringe didn't get in her face. Her freckles remained uncovered because of that and it didn't take long before he was connecting the dots again, able to find all the old constellations he knew well, the ones he'd stared at for so long that they'd been imprinted behind his eyelids.

There were some clear differences from the woman he remembered though. She wasn't as thin as she used to be, but it made her look softer, cuter in a way as she looked even more enticing to hug. All her sharp features had faded but she didn't need to look like a pointed knife for defense anymore as the way she held herself - like someone who had not only survived hell, but claimed it as their own - was warning enough to any that wanted to stand against her.

Her eyes were still the same, they still showed the soldier his entire universe, all of that encapsulated in just her two dark orbs. She still made him feel like he was closer to the stars. She was still a beautifully impossible girl.

 _She was still Amelia Stark,_ but she wasn't. That was what Steve was trying to remind himself of. His girl had gone two years ago, left reality, disappeared to a beach somewhere and separated herself entirely from who she once was. Amelia was Artemis, a different being entirely, right?

Steve had struggled with understanding what that meant when Natasha revealed to him her whereabouts and change of identity, only passing on that information as a last resort to save him from himself. The soldier dared not to ponder that particular day for too long, afraid that Ame- Artemis, would be able to see the dark thoughts shading his mind whenever she looked at him. And her eyes would always meet his, because there wasn't a second in her presence that Steve wasn't looking at her. He was checking to make sure that she was really back with him.

She really was back with him.

People would say 'you don't know what you've got until it's gone', and for most people, that statement might stand true, but it had never been like that with Artemis. He'd known what he had, he'd just never thought that he'd lose it. She'd always been hands that warmed his, arms that were always open for embracing, a comfortable smile that was only his. But the issue was that she would break her own heart into a million fragments so that she could fill in the spaces in his.

The soldier wanted to tell her that she didn't need to anymore, that he was ready to make her and their relationship his top priority That was what he'd always believed would happen when they reunited. _When_. Like a fool he'd placed all of his faith on them finding one another again, their souls reuniting.

He was a super soldier, a victor of one of the world's cruelest wars, a survivor, a man that had faced an alien invasion with a brave heart and combatted a psychotic robot with a vigorous spirit. A leader that had guided the world's most powerful team through fight after fight. And he was a lovesick fool that was defeated by a single glance from the women he loved with all his heart. Still loved, even after two years apart. He always would, that was what he'd promised and Steve planned never to break another promise.

But she did not love him back. She couldn't. Because when he'd moved to help her up from the floor after the alien invasion, when he'd grabbed her hand that so perfectly fit inside his, the soldier had noticed that her finger was lacking a ring.

Artemis had taken the ring off, which meant only one thing: she'd moved on.

Of course she had. She'd disappeared off the face of the earth, gone to some place where she couldn't be found, changed her name, scrubbed herself clean of Amelia Stark's identity. She'd wiped off that part of her life, and Steve couldn't help but believe that it was because he'd damaged her so much, too much.

' _You did this to me, Steve'_ , that is what she'd said before they parted ways all those years ago, and those words had stuck with him ever since, haunting every dream he had, screaming in every moment of silence the soldier was given. He'd done that to her. He'd killed Amelia Stark. By lying to her, deceiving her, and then leaving her broken, he'd killed her. For that he deserved punishment, and seen as there wasn't actually a sentence for breaking someone's heart, Steve had to make his own.

That was his punishment. Looking at her, knowing that he could never touch her again. Allowing her to move on to a brighter future where he would get lost in the shadows. Drowning in phosphorus love, and dying quietly. He would endure that punishment, because he owed her the freedom to a life where her happiness would be maintained.

Jonathan could be that. When Wanda had first mentioned the brunette's connection with that strange, skinny, scruffy man, his first instinct had been raging jealousy, his hands curling into fists that would only release themselves once he'd claimed her hand in his and made some sort of display. The soldier had held himself back, because, at the end of the day, she wasn't his anymore. Jonathan was her new start, another option, a path leading to the life she always deserved.

He just hoped that Jonathan would make her happy. Give her a farm and children and dogs, that was what she deserved. Even if it wasn't his place, Steve didn't know if he could stop himself from forcing the scruffy gentlemen to give her the life that he couldn't give anymore. He would fight to give her that life because he loved her. With the dust of who he once was and the skin he wore then and the bones that would eventually decorate his tomb, he loved her.

"Where to, Cap?" Sam had asked as the quinjet set off, changing the subject away from the fact that they'd known of her whereabouts, all of them becoming quite awkward as clearly it was information they weren't supposed to have.

The soldier didn't really know what he could say to offer his ex-lover any comfort, he doubted that he could do anything which would induce a positive emotion in her after all the damage he'd done to their relationship. All he knew was where they needed to go next. "Home," he'd replied, feeling his heart tighten slightly as the memories of that compound resurfaced, most of them still clear as he'd spent a lot of time over the past two years reminiscing as a form of self-destruction.

He tried to keep his eyes ahead, on the sky they glided through, on their journey, but it was difficult when his body felt so aware of her presence near him. Like a piece of food emitting a warm scent that flapped around his nose, him being a starved victim. It was a losing battle and just as he expected, his eyes did move over to her repeatedly during their journey to the Avenger's compound.

Her and Natasha started a new conversation, discussing what they knew so far about the two aliens that had come round, Vision shared the information he had from the 'conversations' with the Mind Stone, Steve wasn't entirely sure what that meant though. He tried his best to concentrate on their words alone, but it was hard not thinking up new things that he'd missed about Amelia. Her voice, that always turned a little rougher when she was tired. How she'd move her hands around when speaking, a trait she'd gotten from her brother he remembered. The way she'd rolled her eyes, there was nothing special about it, but there was something about her overdramatic behaviour which always somehow made a small smile stretch his lips.

And her laugh, oh god her laugh, how had he managed to survive two years without hearing that joyous sound? Steve wasn't even sure when their serious conversation had turned into more comfortable chatter, the girls making a joke that only they seemed to understand, he only became aware of the change when she started to laugh. Whenever Amelia found something funny, she would positively howl, slapping her hand up and down almost involuntarily whilst barely being able to breathe. Fat tears would roll down her newly pinked cheeks and it would take at least several minutes before the shade would fade. There was always something about her laughter which would make any room feel warmer, brighter, and any soul feel lighter. It was stronger than any drug, not that Steve really knew all too well the effects of drugs, he just believed that the brunette was the best kind.

Artemis' eyes had casually moved over to him and Steve accidentally looked like a deer caught in headlights, jumping far away from her and joining Sam. She didn't seem affronted by catching him staring at her, turning back to Natasha and Wanda and continuing to giggle. That brought him some relief, his panic calming down but never going away as the conversation between everyone continued, so natural that it was like they hadn't really spent two years apart from one another. The only real difference was how silent Steve remained, only giving a few bits of input which lessened when the conversation had turned from business to casual. He didn't want to say anything that might imply his feelings for Artemis were the same, perhaps even stronger, that information wouldn't help her with moving on to a better life.

Another hour of the morning sky being the only thing in sight, and then Sam started to lower the quinjet through thick white clouds, the compound beginning to take shape. Steve wasn't sure why he expected everything to have changed, perhaps it was because he had drastically, but the compound didn't really look any different, still filling up a large field leaving barely enough room for outdoor training purposes.

It was certainly a day meant for going down memory lane, and all of Steve's memories seemed to center around Artemis. He supposed that only made sense as she was the sun in his galaxy.

As they arrived outside, he remembered when Amelia and him would have a picnic on the field. They did it during summer when their days were surprisingly busy, both of them having all their time filled with helping other agents train, or sometimes Steve would be stuck in meetings planning future missions; he always tried to get Amelia to join him but she always said that she shouldn't be the one organising people, especially when it was people's lives at stake. Sometimes their meals would get disrupted by company but they never minded as it was also a struggle to find time to hang out with friends other than when they were on a mission.

Vision was able to get them all inside the compound building and as the soldier wandered the hallways he noticed that most of the furniture had been changed. Still, he could easily remember chasing his lover through the halls as she ran off with his shaver, adamant that he grow out his beard. Maybe her passion for the beard had actually stuck with him though at the time his reason for growing the facial hair was to disguise himself. That, and he had more pressing matters playing on his mind, taking up his time.

They could easily figure out where they needed to go. The world was in peril so the humans in power would do what they always did: argue about what needed to be done, and that meant the rogue Avenger's destination would be the meeting room.

They'd apparently moved some rooms around. The meeting room having been moved to the ground floor. Steve was actually a fan of that change as the only memory the original room would have brought the soldier was of darker times. Of when Amelia had disappeared because Rebecca was blackmailing her, and of the team inside that meeting room discussing whether she'd actually switched sides or not. They'd all failed Amelia that day.

Steve and Natasha took the helm of the group whilst Sam and Wanda carried Vision inside. Artemis was stood between them all with her arms crossed defensively over her chest as they journeyed forward. Steve was tempted to reach for her and take a hold of one of her hands, but the gesture would have been too suggestive. There was no ring on her finger, therefore there was nothing connecting her to him. _She didn't want him anymore_.

The meeting room on the ground floor was much larger than what the previous one had been, all the walls were made up of glass windows so surroundings rooms remained visible, pieces of equipment and machinery were also scattered around the room, though for what exactly, Steve had no idea and he didn't bother with trying to guess. If it was Tony's equipment then it would no doubt be something far too complicated for the man out of time to understand. To the side was a table full of gentlemen which looked very official and standing close to the doorway were none other than Colonel James Rhodes and the Secretary of State, Thaddeus Ross. Both old and familiar faces, only one of them a face Steve wanted to see and he could easily guess that it was the same for the brunette wandering behind him.

They both turned to the doorway as the group arrived, all of them stopping in the doorway. "Mr. Secretary," Steve greeted politely. Always politely.

Ross possessed an underlining of shock that he was clearly trying to cover up beneath his demeanor. The Secretary approached the group, shaking his head slightly as he approached Captain America, his holographic form almost trying to size up to Steve. Artemis was trying to hide behind the Captain and her best friend, but she still noticed the way Ross glanced at her from the side of his eye. "You've got some nerve, I'll give you that."

"You could use some of that right now," Natasha responded easily, not beating around the bush because that just wasn't her way of dealing with things. Steve respected it.

There was no point standing around saying sorry, not when the Earth was under such a mighty threat, the kind of threat that would require everyone to move past any old wars and come together to face the bigger challenger. It was the only way Steve could see them winning. It was why he hadn't told Artemis to go home, to leave and disappear. She was needed as much as any of them were, and she at least seemed to understand that. Because there was no ring, she couldn't have been staying _for him_ , which meant the only other reason the brunette was staying was because she understood the oncoming peril.

Ross didn't respond to Natasha, knowing that she wasn't the one leading their cause, instead he turned to Steve Rogers, the soldier that had two years ago led a civil war amongst the Avengers. "The world's on fire and you think all's forgiven?" The lightness of Ross' tone at the end of his sentence showed that he found such a thought preposterously amusing.

"I'm not looking for forgiveness," Steve explained, no lightness to his tone, there was nothing to be light about. Unexpectedly, the soldier - not even realising what he was about to do - turned his head to look over to Artemis though his words remained for Thaddeus, "not from you."

Everyone saw the gesture, both Steve and Artemis could feel the group's eyes switching between them, trying to discern what Artemis' reaction was but she didn't have one, all she could do was look back at Steve. He wished that he could read her mind the same way he used to, but in that moment all he could see was a blanket of darkness in her eyes that shrouded everything he wanted to know.

His complicated yet simple words told Artemis one thing at least: He didn't know about the baby. If he did, she was sure he wouldn't be asking her for forgiveness after learning she'd kept such a thing from him.

"I wish I could say I was surprised to see you back with him," Ross commented from the side of them, his words directed to Artemis who met his glare with the same blank stare she'd been giving Steve. "To think I actually thought you'd be able to settle for the normal life."

Emotion flashed on her face like the big bang, her eyes turning sharp and a frown deepening her lips. The proud brunette took a step forward, moving to stand between Steve and Natasha so she could look Ross directly in the eyes. The soldier felt his heart swell like a purple bruise. "Aliens are landing on Earth, and you still think normal is a possibility?" Artemis scoffed, her tone matching the humor Ross had possessed over the idea that Steve might expect forgiveness for turning against his country.

Ross didn't seem affected by the brunette's aggression, in fact, he had the sort of expression on his face that reminded Steve of someone holding a secret weapon. Still maintaining eye contact with the brunette, he nodded over towards Steve. "Does he know yet?"

The brunette flinched slightly and rushed to move on the topic. "Look, Ross, people are dying and people _are going to_ die, so we're here to fight, with or without your permission. And if you choose to stand against us," Artemis' response was instant as she stepped in front of Steve and Nat, nose-to-nose with the hologram, "we'll fight you too."

She was avoiding a subject, that was the one thing Steve would always be able to identify in the brunette. The flash of rage that sparked in her eyes made it clear that she didn't want him to know, and for once he didn't feel like pushing to find out. The swell in his heart faded as he reminded himself that he wasn't owed anything from her, but he owed her everything.

"Your brother would be very disappointed in you," Thaddeus replied, looking down his nose at the psychic.

No, he wouldn't. Steve believed that Tony would see the necessity in Amelia being there for the oncoming fight, especially because he wasn't there. Earth's best defender wasn't there, which meant that they all needed to work twice as hard, and all needed to put their effort into whatever threat was oncoming. Victory was going to be hard to achieve, and even then Steve knew it was very likely the victory would be bittersweet, that was what he'd gathered from how dangerous Bruce described Thanos.

Done with using all the ineffective weapons he had against the brunette, Thaddeus turned back to Rhodey who had been watching, feeling no need to step in like he would have two years ago to spout stuff about laws. He agreed with Artemis, they were way past the Accords and way past getting permission. "Arrest them," he ordered.

"All over it," Rhodey responded though there was no actual determination in his voice, rather than moving to grab some handcuffs, the pilot lifted up his hand and waved it, a gesture for the computer so that all the holograms in the room would disappear. Seconds later the computer began to ring. "That's a court marshall."

Once Ross was out of the room the angered tension melted away, a smile easing it's way onto Artemis' face as she stepped closer towards the shrugging pilot. "I missed you, Rhodey."

"You too little Stark." The two embraced as they shared sincere words. "And it's great to see you too, Cap," Rhodey said over Artemis' shoulder, catching the way the soldier had a forlorn gaze locked on the brunette's back.

"I changed my name to Artemis, actually," she interrupted, pulling away from Rhodey's hug but leaving a hand pressed against his shoulder. She'd never got to see him come out of the hospital and after leaving she wasn't given any news on his health, he looked good, he was walking and talking and smiling.

"Just Artemis?" His eyebrows drew together as Artemis nodded her head in response. "Why?"

"It sounded cool," she excused lamely with a slight shrug of her shoulders.

Steve couldn't help but think back to the first year they'd spent together exploring Europe, they'd gone to Greece for a short while thinking they might find Bucky there but the lead ended up becoming a dead end pretty quickly. Steve had gotten quite sullen about another dead end so she took the reigns and decided the team should go out for the night and explore, they found a bar and met some lovely locals, one of which spoke some English. The local had told Amelia that she had the spirit of the Goddess Artemis, a wild hunter that still possessed a sense of purity, Steve had agreed. The look on her face after that could brighten up any speck of darkness in existence and she spent the entire night trying to learn more about the Goddess, falling more and more in love with the name and who it belonged to, one could even say she was inspired. So, no, he didn't believe her when she said she picked the name because it 'sounded cool'.

Rhodey turned to face the entire team, taking in their appearance for the first time in two years. "Well, you guys really look like crap. Must've been a rough couple of years."

"Yeah, well, the hotels weren't exactly five stars," Sam responded, not disagreeing with the fellow pilot as he'd complained quite a few times about the whole thing during the past two years. There was a little bit of maliciousness in his voice, a sign that he still wasn't happy with how things ended up, but just like everyone else, he knew that it was time to get the old team back together. Or at least some of it, the news that Tony wasn't there was still a shock to him, as it had been for all of them when Bruce called Steve and explained the situation.

"Uh, I think you look great," as though the genius had heard Sam's thoughts, he chose then to make his entrance, walking into the room. He hadn't changed, that was for sure. He wandered into the room with his back slightly crouched, fiddling with his own hands nervously as all attention was put on him. The genius did a quick once-over of the team but then his eyes settled on Natasha, and Steve smiled to himself as he recognised the behaviour of his old friend. "Yeah, I- I'm back."

Meanwhile Artemis was watching her best friend, the same way Nat had been waiting for a reaction from her moments earlier to what Steve had said. "Hi Bruce," there wasn't much Natasha could say. No, there was actually a lot. Just nothing she wanted to say then and there in front of everyone else. Artemis somewhat knew of what they'd had to say, during the week where Natasha stayed at the beach house to take care of her, Nat had shared some of her own struggles (usually whilst they were drinking alcohol as it was a form of liquid courage for the both of them).

"Nat," he stopped playing with his hands and moved to fondle his sleeves, his mouth opening slightly as though a million words were trying to purge themselves free. He wouldn't say them either though.

"This is awkward," Sam muttered from behind them, speaking beneath his breath but everyone could still hear him. Artemis turned to glare at him, flicking her hand to ignite a bit of force which slapped the back of his head. "Ow!"

* * *

 **A/N: I'M SORRY FOR ONLY UPDATING NOW LIFE HAS BEEN TREMENDOUSLY BUSY LATELY, I'm hoping things will calm down by Wednesday. Here's the chapter you've all been looking for, Steve's POV, hopefully it was enjoyable and gave you some perspective. I'll try upload again soon but I'm not going to promise anything, again, I'm really sorry.**

 **To AngelElamrlienHenning, glad to hear it, sorry I had to keep you waiting but I hoped you liked Steve's POV**

 **To Faora, hope the chapter lived up to your expectations**

 **To Tusa0095, this was a long review and I appreciate all of your honesty, I understand where you're coming from with the hatred but in some ways I'm also glad that my work could inspire such emotions. I've never set out to make my characters completely likeable, I've always wanted readers to feel a little distaste towards characters but sometimes it's a hard line to walk across and eventually a writer will stumble and lean more towards one side, you either make a character way too likeable (mary sue) or way too unlikeable. Knowing that I've managed it pretty well - though I'm acknowledging the few stumbles I've made - is pretty great, and I'm glad to hear you've somewhat enjoyed it, or are starting to enjoy the story again. And I wholeheartedly agree on you, Amelia will always be Amelia to me as well.**

 **To Guest, soooon my friend, sooooooooooooon, like, next chapter kind of soooooooooooooooooon.**

 **To Sam0728, Nat always has her reason for telling secrets though, she's manipulative af. And yay for the dogs, I hope they survive the Snappening.**

 **To Pitspee, as is revealed in this chapter I can confirm that she didn't, even Natasha knows when to keep her mouth shut, the reason why she'd told Steve what she had will be revealed in a later chapter. It's definitely long overdue, and the great thing about Amelia's development is that she now knows not to waste time waiting for the 'right time' so that talk will be coming soon. Also how dare you suggest that whenever Mia looks at Steve's she's thinking about him going down on her with that glorious beard, because you'd be totally right but shhh no one's supposed to know that. OH MY GOD THE ART JOKES WHAT HAVE I STARTED?! I laughed too though so don't worry. Twice technically, the first time I read this review and just now as I read it again. The joke will never get old tbh. Also now all I'm thinking about is a scene where I could fit in Amelia saying 'draw me like one of your french girls' to Steve. It won't happen, but god damn, I wish it could.**

 **To CrumblingUniverses, well Tony and Peter have already gone so she can't really join them, but she'll be with them in spirit (that has two meanings, the first one is obvious, the second one you'll figure out soonish). And wow thank you, I'm glad that my emotional scenes are good, I'll admit I probably put more effort into them than I do my action but I feel I can relate more. Plus, usually, I write emotional scenes when I'm quite emotional myself. And ah, okay, I'm glad it was a good oh my god, and I apologise for not understanding that when I literally do the same thing, I will for future reference though!**

 **To Guest, interesting theory, but Natasha never told him about the baby. There is a reason he didn't try to find her himself though, that'll come much later on. Thank you for the review, it was interesting to see your thoughts, I adore reading peoples theories.**

 **To LoveFiction2018, sorry that I had to remind you of that sadness ahaha**

 **To Assbitch67, I can't get the image out of my head, but then you're kind of phasing into the Mexican Autocorrect Bandit as well so in one hand you've got a maraca, in the other a camera, you've got your giant hat and fake moustache and the donkey's behind you just neighing and waving it's hooves. And the first one sounded super nice until you added the gravy.**

 **To shugokage, glad you liked the dream scene, it was completely unplanned and something I added last minute but if there's one thing you need to know about me, it's that I love my hidden meanings!**

 **To RavagerRoseWilson, glad you enjoyed it! And I swear this isn't like Aaron but oh my god someone needs to publish the Aaron Effect, it's like stockholm syndrome but worse lol, I love it.**

 **To Emilee, ahhh thank you ^^ And other people have suggested that Gran might be older Artemis, but I'm surprised no one's thought that maybe she's another illusion built by the Sentience (Space Stone) that was what I thought everyone would suggest.**

 **To Visenyas, I HOPE STEVE'S POV WAS WORTH THE WAIT AND WASN'T DISAPPOINTING!**

 **And a big thank you to everyone that read the chapter!**


	109. Chapter One Hundred and Three

**CHAPTER ONE-HUNDRED AND THREE**

* * *

"When you left, you thought you'd broken me. I thought you'd broken me. But actually, you just broke the cage I was living in."

― **Nina Green**

* * *

"Did you have to hit me so hard?" Sam sighed gruffly, raising up one of his hands to rub the back of his head where Artemis had hit him using her powers.

The brunette winced, "sorry, it's been a while since I used my powers for combat use, I'm still getting the hang of them again." She'd realised how hard she'd pushed the force against the back of his head as soon as she'd hit him and had immediately apologised but Sam had continued to tug on that particular string of sympathy, much to the amusement of the rest of the team.

"Well I'd appreciate it if I weren't your target practice," the pilot continued to quip as everyone moved into a different room which would be more comfortable for them all to sit in and discuss matters that were more pressing than Sam's 'boo-boo'. They'd moved into a living room, but no one had actually sat down, Sam was playing with a ball, Bruce was walking around, Vision was the only one who'd actually sat down and that was because of his wound, everyone else was too wired to relax. Steve had stood closest to the window with one hand resting on a chair, the other on his belt (of course), he'd also stood quite close to Artemis though she wished he hadn't.

She could smell him, and just like two years ago there wasn't one thing she could use to describe his musk. It was familiar, and always reminded her of the woods on a warm summer's day after a stormy night. It was inviting, too inviting, forcing Artemis to do everything she could to not allow her eyes to be drawn towards him. It didn't seem like he was being as affected as drastically as she was by just a simple presence, the soldier facing Rhodey and putting all of his attention on the Colonel that had brought up a hologram of the two creatures which had attacked Vision in Scotland. The mission was more important than her.

"These who you fought against?" Rhodey asked, gesturing towards the hologram.

Artemis put all of her focus onto the blue-ish hologram as well, looking at the frozen image of the two aliens mid-fight standing over Vision right before she'd arrived to protect him. At least if she was intensely focusing on the two aliens than she wasn't being too acutely aware of Steve's presence beside her. "Yup, Lady Gaga and Golem," she reported, immediately being sent looks from the rest of the team who hadn't heard of the brunette's appointed nicknames until then. "What?" She questioned back bashfully, fluttering her eyelashes innocently and Steve tried to hide his smile because Artemis definitely knew what she was doing by picking such unprofessional and… _creative_ nicknames.

The soldier proceeded to send Rhodey a look which silently stated 'just move on'; Rhodey hadn't been there for the whole 'Nutsack' situation and he wasn't really feeling up to explaining it. Rhodey received the look and understood its implications so he moved his head from side to side like he was trying to clear his mind of Artemis' absurdity. "So, we gotta assume they're coming back, right?" He continued, calling everyone's attention back to the important subject.

"And they can clearly find us," Wanda added, rubbing a loving hand across Vision's arm, trying to reassure herself that he was there and he was okay.

It was due to Artemis that such a fear was deeply implemented into her, and also the reason why she'd been so concerned before getting into a relationship with Vision. Amelia would often tell Wanda that the worst part of dating Captain America was the worrying. Whenever he went on missions she was worrying, whenever he was on a battlefield - even when she was also there - she was worrying, and if he was just out getting some coffee she was worrying. It was the price they'd paid for choosing to fight whilst in a committed relationship, even if they were fighting for a good cause. A month into the relationship and Wanda was able to recognise why Amelia was so desperate for a peaceful life on a farm away from all the battles, because, like any pain, the worrying just became too much eventually.

Vision reached across and placed his hand on top of Wanda's, his movements painful as they made him stretch his abdomen where his wound persisted. Artemis observed the movement from the corner of her eye and she felt herself suddenly missing that particular type of comfort with Steve. So much had happened and a hand to hold would have definitely gone a long way for her, but she also wished to try and give Steve some comfort, sure that their current situation would be putting him through a lot of stress. Him, the man who placed all of the problems of the world on his shoulders.

"We need all hands on deck. Where's Clint?" Bruce asked, his entire body displaying clear concern, it seemed that he was stressed too which did make sense as he had been face to face with Thanos, and there in New York when her brother had fought with the aliens. He had more right than anyone else to be concerned.

"After the Accords situation, he and Scott took a deal," Natasha explained, already having given him a short rundown of what the Accords were and what they'd led to, which was nice for Artemis because she'd never found out what happened to the rest of the team either, "it's too rough on their families, so they're on house arrest."

"Who's Scott?" Banner questioned, eyebrows drawing together at the new name.

"Ant-Man," Artemis supplied.

"There's an Ant-Man and a Spider-Man?"

"And a Black Widow," the brunette chuckled as she sent a wink over to her best friend. She'd never actually thought about the running theme among the Avenger's alias, and couldn't help but chuckle at it. "Maybe I should come up with a bug-based hero name… the 'Caterpillar', or something."

"Out of all the bugs you could have picked, you went with 'Caterpillar'?" Sam scoffed.

Artemis turned to him and shrugged her shoulders, "they're cute."

"You're weird."

"I can see you really missed me," she jokingly hissed to the pilot.

"Don't pretend like you weren't sitting at your window wishing to see your favourite chocolate man one last time," Sam bantered, smirking.

Artemis rolled her eyes, "how did you know?"

Steve cleared his throat, reminding the sparring pair (again) of where they were and what they were supposed to be discussing. They both gave apologetic looks, feeling slightly guilty for interrupting the groups meeting with their banter, but Artemis also felt a great deal of happiness because such an interaction had felt more naturally easy than she'd been expecting.

And all it took was one look at Steve to bring her great sorrow, because it would take a long time before they could share an easy conversation between them again.

"Okay, look," Bruce sighed, his hands twitching in a way that suggested to Artemis he was about ready to pull all of his hair out, "Thanos has the biggest army in the universe and he is not going to stop until he… until he gets Vision's stone." After Bruce's words, everyone looked over towards Vision, the Android staring only at Wanda's hand though his mind belonged elsewhere.

"Then we have to protect it," Natasha concluded from what Bruce had said.

To everyone's surprise though, Vision declined the notion, "no, we have to destroy it." He stumbled his way onto his feet with some assistance from a very concerned looking witch, the android proceeding to then point towards the glowing yellow stone on his forehead. "I've been giving a good deal of thought to this entity in my head, about its nature. But also about its composition," he turned back to Wanda, "I think if it were exposed to a sufficiently powered energy source, something very familiar to its own signature, perhaps, its molecular integrity could fail."

Artemis' entire body became rigid and frozen in place as her brain slowly registered what he said. He was suggesting sacrificing himself. But… he didn't need to. He shouldn't even be thinking up such things.

Wanda seemed to be in agreement with Artemis' silent thoughts. "And you with it; we're not having this conversation."

Vision brought his hands up to Wanda's cheeks gently, embracing her with his small touch. "Eliminating the stone is the only way to be certain that Thanos cannot get his desired victory," the Android argued.

 _He's wrong_ , thought Artemis, there was another way to stop Thanos yet she couldn't even bring herself to suggest it. She wasn't even sure why. Fear? Anxiety? Selfishness? Artemis' mouth continued to be clamped shut, a new secret being born between her and the rest of the team.

"That's too high a price." Wanda continued to deny.

Her friend agreed wholeheartedly, stepping closer to the witch, Artemis built up a new resolve. If she couldn't bring herself to share the little snippet of information that floated in the back of her mind like a dead body in water, the brunette could at least make it so that information would never be required, that deadweight never needing to be uncovered. "I'm on her side, we shouldn't even be having this conversation."

Vision did look towards Artemis, did hear her words, but to him, the most important opinion belonged to Wanda. He needed to hear her words on the matter more than anyone else's. "Only you have the power to do it," the Android inferred to Wanda. He preferred it that way. She was the only one he wanted to do it. Knowing his end would come by her soft and loving hands was poetically comforting, unfair as well, but if his end was going to be inevitable then at least he could be allowed to choose _how_ it ended. "Thanos threatens half the universe, one life cannot stand in the way of defeating him."

"But it should," Steve stepped in to argue and Artemis turned with hope bursting in her heart because if anyone would be able to make a difference than it'd be him. He could inspire all sorts of good in people, she knew that better than anyone, so maybe he would be able to inspire sense in Vision. Artemis hadn't expected to catch him looking at her though, and he immediately moved his gaze onto Vision, pretending like he hadn't been caught. "We don't trade lives, Vision," Steve said.

"Exactly," Artemis echoed, and that time she was aware when Steve looked at her.

"Captain, Seventy years ago you laid down your life to save how many millions of people? And Artemis, once upon a time, you wouldn't think twice before sacrificing yourself for one man. Tell me why my decision is any different to either of yours?" His decision would not only save the world but it would also allow him to protect Wanda. His world.

Artemis crossed her arms over her chest as she took in Vision's argument, feeling slightly appalled with herself and how her past behaviour was working as a motivator for Vision's self-destructive decision. "Because Cap didn't have a choice. And because you're not as stupid as I am, most of the time," Artemis huffed, dropping her crossed arms so she could theatrically wave her hands around as she spoke.

"But I don't have a choice either," Vision persisted, his voice much calmer than Artemis'. The brunette looked over to Steve, urging him to help her out but the next person to speak was not him.

"No, no, Amelia might be right, you might have a choice actually," Bruce intervened, looking thoughtful and everyone was waiting with baited breath to hear what exactly was floating around the genius' brain. "Your mind is made up of a complex construct of overlays; Jarvis, Ultron, Tony, me, the Stone. All of them mixed together. All of them learning from one another."

"You're saying Vision isn't just the stone," Wanda simplified.

"I'm saying, if we take out the stone, there's still a whole lot of Vision left." And just like that, Bruce managed to fill the team with a little bit more hope. Wanda reached out for Vision's hand in some sort of claiming. She _was_ going to keep him with her. There with her for as long as she possibly could.

"Can we do that?" Wanda asked, not wanting to prematurely celebrate. Good things didn't just happen for her, not without a little work.

Bruce sighed, confirming Wanda's assumption. "Not me, not here," he reluctantly admitted.

"Well, you better find someone and somewhere fast. Ross isn't going to let you guys have your old rooms back," Rhodey informed, making Artemis release a frustrated exhale.

Vision couldn't die, she wouldn't allow him to because of what he provided her little sister with. Happiness, love, peace. She wasn't going to allow another relationship to fall apart, especially because it would be partly her fault for not speaking up when she knew of a solution. But that determination didn't help her come up with any ideas on who or where they could go.

She thought for a moment that perhaps she could be of some use, she had been practicing a lot more with the telepathic part of her abilities. She couldn't read people's minds or anything like that, not unless she was connected with the person and their brain. It was after the connection was made that her true telepathic powers would display themselves. But then Artemis realised what Vision required would be something quite scientific, and she'd only ever practiced on her dogs (without harming them, of course).

"I know somewhere," Steve abruptly spoke up, stopping Artemis before she fell too far down her rabbit hole and actually suggested Vis let her mess around with his unique and intricate mind.

The brunette turned around so she could face him fully, curious. "Care to share with the group, Steve?"

Artemis didn't notice the way his spine shook at the sound of his name rolling so lusciously off of her tongue. "Wakanda," he answered, voice stricter than it was supposed to be as he'd stifled his body after becoming so affected by the simple way she'd said his name.

"T'Challa? Oh, that'd be great, I haven't seen him since…" She stopped her words, feeling like her entire being had become suddenly stilted, a sad reminder that the relationship between herself and Steve couldn't grow to be easy like hers and Sam's, all because of the secrets still kept from him. Artemis had no choice, she'd have to tell him, and soon. But not in front of all those people. "Nevermind," the brunette changed the subject, "yeah, I think Steve's plan is great. I have a friend who went there and she says the things they can do with technology is amazing."

"What friend?" Steve asked, making Artemis look at him again, the brunette affronted by the clear confusion possessing the soldier's face. Was it that strange a thing for her to have a friend outside of their family?

She frowned, "just a friend I met."

"Grandma?" Natasha guessed, her face also displaying confusion.

"Yeah," Artemis nodded her head slowly, finding herself becoming more and more perplexed.

"How does she know?" Steve pushed out another question and the brunette started to feel like she was in an interrogation.

"About what?"

"Wakanda."

"She's been there loads of times," Artemis explained, unsure as to why she was even having to give an explanation.

"To Wakanda?" Steve continued to question disbelievingly, it was very rare for outsiders to visit Wakanda.

"Yes," the psychic persisted, becoming more frustrated than baffled, "sorry, am I not being clear with this?"

"Ame- Artemis, sorry," Vision called from the other side of the room, halting her conversation with the soldier though Steve continued to stare at her with his eyebrows drawn and a frown perpetuated on his rose-tinted lips. "I have a question about something you stated earlier."

"Which is?" She encouraged, more than content to have the subject changed.

"You said you've been having dreams about Thanos, visions perhaps?"

Artemis shook her head, looking down at the floor and lifting up her mouth at the side in thought. "I don't think they're visions per se. I can't see the future, or anything like that. A part of me is connected to the Space Stone, and I think it knows that the universe is in danger - or maybe it's trying to save itself, something like that - so it's sending me messages via my dreams. It wouldn't be the first time the Space Stone has talked to me." The first time, of course, being right after the experiment that successfully fused her soul with the Space Stone, when she'd wandered into New York. It was the first time she'd met Steve, yet the brunette had no memory of it, that was always something which irked her.

"What dream? What happened?" Steve almost sounded concerned.

Artemis thought with dread that he _should_ be. She took in a long exhale of air before beginning to recount the details of her dream. About the fire, and the hills of Asgardian corpses, of Thor defeated and Loki's suffocation, and of Thanos, the giant purple warrior standing above his ruin with a sense of pride. She spoke in chilling detail of Loki's final moments, when he told the mad Titan that he would never be a god, all while Thanos' hand was wrapped around the trickster's throat. He may never be a god, but he could kill one with ease, and that was much more terrifying.

No one truly believed her at first, not until Bruce Banner confirmed it all with a haunted look in his eyes. Steve asked if Thor was dead, and for a moment both Artemis and Bruce remained silent before the brunette gave a simple and disappointing 'I don't know'. Though the word yes was never spoken, it was all Steve was able to gather from her tale.

"If he's in possession of the space stone now, then that might mean that your next dream could give us more information on him. His whereabouts and how close he is to having the other stones. Does it happen every time you fall asleep?" Vision pursued another answer, the only one in that moment who could keep a determined level head, not allowing the news of Asgard's demise to sway him from his mission. Artemis could hold a very important key which would unlock the door to victory against the mad Titan, it was important that they concentrate on that.

"I don't know, I've just had that one so far, and sleeping isn't exactly something I can just turn on right now." When things got stressful she could never easily fall asleep, the sense of oncoming danger making her body go onto red alert, something she'd kept from her days working for Pierce.

"We could give you some sleeping pills," Bruce suggested, his voice somber after having the memories of his fight with Thanos replayed over in his mind, but he'd seen reason just like Vision and was trying to concentrate on the one thing that could give them an upper hand.

"Most of them have no effect on me because of Hydra," she revealed glumly, "and I've only fuelled the resistance over the past two years." It was hard for her to admit the second part but she knew the information was necessary, at least she didn't have to admit the whole truth. How she'd taken them like candy during the first few months, desperate to get just a minute of sleep as her body tried to get used to no longer having Steve's heartbeat to lullaby her. And how some nights, the darkest of nights, she would consume half a bottle desperate for something more than sleep.

"Well, what about Steve? He makes it easier for you to fall asleep, right?" Bruce suggested, remembering when he first met Amelia that he'd found it incredibly strange that she slept in Steve's bed every night.

Silence settled in the room for a second time, much more awkward than the first. Everyone but Bruce knew the truth, yet they all felt too awkward to bring up the subject, like it was a taboo. Artemis supposed in some ways it was.

"You don't know?" She realised, voice turning quiet as her body tensed.

"Know what?" Bruce looked to Natasha, she'd been incredibly helpful when it came to catching him up on the past two years (it was the most comfortable thing they had to talk about) but clearly she'd missed out mentioning something and clearly she felt awkward about it as the blonde spy was staring mutely at the floor.

Artemis turned to face the soldier, "you didn't tell him?"

Steve blanched, not realising that his lack of oversharing on his personal life had been a bad thing, it's not like there was much time between Bruce nervously telling him about Thanos and the danger the Titan was to Earth, and then seeing him again at the Avengers base which Artemis was there for. "It didn't come up," he excused.

Sighing she turned back to Bruce, not liking that she was the one who had to tell him, not liking that it was required for her to talk about it at all. "Me and Steve have broken up, so, no, I'm not just going to get in a bed with him to try and fall asleep, it probably won't even work."

"It could be worth a try," Vision persisted, apparently desiring to see what her next dream would unfold more than he desired keeping Artemis and Steve comfortable around each other.

"Vis-" Steve was the one to interject, holding up a hand to try and stop the android, not wanting to cause Artemis any more pain as the conversation topic was clearly raw for her. He'd be lying if he said it wasn't raw for him too.

"The information we could get would be quite valuable," he argued logically, but logic didn't really get to dictate the decision, not for Artemis.

"I don't care," she hissed, voice rising, "I'm not doing it and that's that. End of conversation." Artemis decided to leave the room then, knowing it was the best way to ensure that she didn't hear anything else on the matter.

The group remained quiet until Sam decided to mumble under his breath, "I was wrong before, _this_ is awkward."

* * *

 **A/N: Fun story, as I was editing this chapter for posting a spider literally fell off the roof on top of me and I freaked the fuck out. So if in the middle of this chapters there's a bit of text going along the lines of 'ASHFLHRGLIE ER' I apologise, I deleted most of my panicked keyboard smash but who knows what's left.**

 **And again I find myself apologising for not uploading, I had a busy start to the week that drained me and then some stuff happened and my depression hit me hard, I got really low and I just couldn't bring myself to do anything. I'm trying my best to force myself out of this stupor, I handwrote 26 pages of chapter 109 and it's a pretty good chapter so look forward to that. But yeah, all I can do is ask you to bear with me and understand that I'm trying to take care of myself. You guys still come first, I'm still dedicated to this story, please don't take my erratic updates as anything else.**

 **To Tina, wow, thank you for the reviews they were so nice, hope you're still enjoying the story wherever you are by this point**

 **To Serena, thank you!**

 **To Simran, glad you like the plot and stuff, hope you continue to enjoy the story and I'm glad your proud of Amelia, she definitely has her moments that make me weep like a proud mother lol**

 **To Faora, I feel like with Steve and Amelia's situation it's like 'wow they were both idiots' and it's a good thing they took time apart and stuff, that's my take on it, hopefully they'll be able to reconnect and form some kind of relationship again. 'Snapping' should not be such a scary word, what has Marvel done to us? Lol**

 **To AngelElmarlienHenning, thank you, I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it and that you liked Steve getting his pov out**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, haha, I'm happy you enjoyed it!**

 **To Sam0728, I can't take credit for the snappening, I definitely heard it somewhere else but it is a pretty funny term. Hope you enjoyed this chapter I know it was mostly just moving the plot along but I feel like it had some good moments too**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, glad to hear you enjoyed Steve's POV!**

 **To Pitspee, gimme a second I'll go check the song out now. Oh, hey, Imagine Dragons, dem my boi's. And yeah, you're totally right, this does fit. Yeah, Steve has suffered and we will hear a bit more about that later on, he's going to have done something that didn't happen in the movies (because of Amelia, who also isn't in the movies) that'll fill in a lot of questions on, like, how Steve isn't the same character you see portrayed in the movies. Hope that makes sense, I can't give too much away. AND WE MAY GET A SUIT UP SCENE BUT AGAIN I'M NOT SAYING TOO MUCH. Talking comes either next chapter or the chapter after next, I can't remember, sorry to keep you waiting so long. And also you're doing that thing again where you guess things that you shouldn't be able to... have you read my plan? Have you hacked my google account? Is that what's happening here?**

 **To xLaBellaVita, thank you! Glad to hear you liked it! Sorry that this story makes you so anxious, and the reveal is coming very soon so you'll be able to stop worrying soon... kind of.**

 **To shugokage, thank you ^^**

 **To Assbitch67, doesn't the mean girls mum have a camera in her hand? Arnold? That's a very ordinary name, not 'Amazing Arnold'? Suppose that's already been taken. Awesome Arnold. Altruistic Arnold. Amazeballs Arnold. Stop me at any time.**

 **To Visenyas, afraid you're going to have to wait until chapter 110 to find out what exactly was meant by that statement though you'll learn bits and pieces throughout. And no, Amelia had to take it off of her finger for her own mental wellbeing, that scene where she basically almost tears down the house looking for it shows the unhealthy relationship she has with that object so yeah. Sorry about that. And no, you didn't miss anything, I didn't include the scene because the explanation comes later on. And yey, glad you enjoyed Steve's POV.**

 **To LoveFiction2018, ikr, wait until you hear about what he went through during the past two years**

 **And a big thanks to everyone that simply read the chapter ^^**


	110. Chapter One Hundred and Four

**CHAPTER ONE-HUNDRED AND FOUR**

* * *

"The truth." Dumbledore sighed. "It is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution."

― **J.K. Rowling**

* * *

Artemis wandered carelessly through the halls of the Avenger's base, allowing her feet to take control as her mind concentrated mostly on the conversation that had just taken place. She'd lost her cool, and a part of her did feel guilty whilst the other part of her felt pride because she hadn't sacrificed her own sanity for the sake of other people's whims. The brunette had chosen to take care of herself, perhaps it was as selfish as the decision she'd had to abandon Amelia Stark's identity but she didn't feel like the price was the same.

Slowly but surely she was learning the difference. The difference between self-care and selfishness, and the difference between hurting others and putting herself first. They didn't always need to go hand-in-hand like she'd first thought. That was another thing Gran had taught her through a series of wisdom filled speeches and telling off's.

Her feet had stopped at some point though Artemis remained unaware of it for a good minute, still lost in the thoughts circling her head. Moving from the words she hadn't said during the teams meeting, eventually falling onto Steve's beard. He looked way too good with a beard, and it felt like a personal attack because she wasn't there to admire his beard, she was there to fix the threat Thanos ensued and then go home to her dogs. That was the plan, or at least, it was the plan she'd told herself to stick to, she hadn't fully agreed to it though.

She had spoken to Gran on the phone, only a quick conversation to inform her that Artemis would be staying away from home a little longer than she'd first presumed. That one-minute phone call had quickly turned back to the conversation she'd had with Gran before leaving, so Artemis had rushed to get off the phone. Gran's last words to her were 'remember what I told you', and, oh, Artemis _had_. Too much.

"I'm surprised to see you here." Rhodey commented from the end of the hallway and Artemis turned to face him, a blank expression on her face. He nodded his head towards the door in front of her so she looked at it as well, not fully understanding what he meant until she recognised the number beside the door. Her feet had unconsciously taken her to the room that once belonged to Amelia and Steve.

"I was just wandering and I," her words came out airy as Artemis was still working on placing her thoughts back in her body, back in that hallway with Rhodey, "I ended up here."

The pilot wandered closer, continuing to walk forwards until he was stood beside her also looking at the door. It was white, plain and ordinary, the same as every other door in that hallway. "You going to go in?" He asked carefully, knowing that the door wasn't just plain and ordinary and like every other door in that hallway to her. It hadn't been for his best friend either. In fact, the hallway they were in was rarely visited by Tony, because that would mean walking past that plain and ordinary door, and that would mean remembering that he had a little baby sister completely out of his grasps.

She shrugged her shoulders, face still empty of all emotions but Rhodey knew better than to take that face seriously. He'd learnt over time that the brunette was a volcano not a mountain, all her truths burned below the surface only ever being revealed on special occasions.

"It's just a room," Artemis mumbled, the pilot getting the sense that the words were more directed to herself than him. Like she was motivating herself. It seemed to work as she reached out with one cautious hand, wrapping it around the handle cautiously, as though she expected it to burn her fingertips. She rested her small fingers on the handle, inhaling, and then she opened the door and stepped in as she exhaled.

The room was different. Or maybe it wasn't, it still had the same layout, the same walls and carpet, but the lack of decoration and the bare bed in the middle of the room made it look like a different place than the one she remembered sufficiently in her mind. It was the skeleton, the body having decayed and rotted away. That was all Artemis could think of as she looked around, searching for any sign of the former sanctuary the room once was to her. There wasn't anything. All it was, was a room.

She sniffed, raising her chin, trying not to let the emptiness of the room engage her heart. Moving her head to the side slightly, she glanced at Rhodey in the corner of her eye. "Not that I care, but, where's all of our stuff?"

"A few months after you left Tony decided to just store your things away," he was stood behind her, arms crossed against his chest, his eyes grazing over the empty room as well. He'd only ever looked at the room once, but when he did see it the room was filled with colour with lots of pictures and notes stuck to the wall, the shelves filled with nick-nacks that were meaningless to him but were clearly special to Steve and Amelia. Now empty, it was just white, the blinds half drawn so little light was spilling into the room, shining over the empty bed.

"Makes sense, he probably knew I wasn't planning on coming back anytime soon," her words had a tone of bitterness beneath them, but once again Rhodey could only assume that it was aimed more towards herself.

He remained silent for a second, looking towards the floor as he thought over his next few actions carefully. He didn't want to scare the poor girl away again, Tony had told him the truth, about the baby, and he wasn't going to bring it up with her because he knew that it was information he wasn't supposed to be privy to. He also knew that the girl was hurting. That kind of loss would always hurt. All the pilot could do was try to provide some comfort, provide some form of healing for her. He felt like he kind of owed it to her, she had, after all, chosen to go after him and stop him from crash landing on the ground rather than chasing after Steve. If it wasn't for her than he might not have been there in that moment. Rhodey planned to use the time he'd been given properly.

"I believed you would though, we are your family after all, and people never leave family behind." After speaking up, he journeyed over to the wardrobe behind her, entering it alone whilst Amelia sent him a perplexed look. The wardrobe looked strange as well, it was no longer filled with her messy black clothes, a spice of colour being added by all of Steve's outfits. He returned holding something in his arms. "So, I made him keep one thing here, just in case."

Artemis had no words as Rhodey handed over the object in his hands, it was folded up but that didn't matter, she'd recognised it immediately. Her leather jacket. Just as she had with the door handle, she reached out slowly and carefully before taking it out of the pilot's hands. The worn leather felt cold against her finger tips, yet it filled her with untitled warmth. Two years. It had been two years since she'd even seen a leather jacket, why was hers making her want to cry so much? She sniffled again, that time not out of pride, but because there was an overwhelming rise of emotion. It receded, but it did not disappear, it was more like a tsunami, the water flowing backwards before it inevitably returned with ten times the force.

"Was- Was Tony alright, without me here? Was he okay?" She asked, stroking her hands across the studs on the leather jacket, memories rising with the cataclysmic emotions.

She should never have gone. Artemis couldn't deny it anymore. _She should never have gone_. Whether she needed to heal or not, the brunette could have done it with her brother by her side. Tony needed her, his family had fallen apart and he didn't have Pepper and he'd needed her but she'd just turned a blind eye and left for the sake of her own selfish mind. She'd given up so much, and for what? A beach shack which fell apart every day and a tempermental ocean which sang only of loneliness and vast emptiness. She should never have gone.

"To be honest with you," Rhodey started, choosing to tell her the truth rather than lie to the brunette, he thought she might appreciate that a bit more, "none of us were after you left. The team was split, and then you went as well. It took me a while to realise it myself but what happened, all of it, it was a big mistake."

He'd been right in assuming that she'd prefer the truth, if he'd said that everything had been fine then she probably wouldn't have believed him. It didn't bring her any comfort to hear that Tony hadn't been okay, but it was something she'd been able to guess anyway.

"Not for me. The things I did, to everyone-" to her baby, "-they were all more than mistakes. They were bad decisions that came with an awful price. And now Tony's gone, and I can't even apologise for what I did to him." She'd been holding it in quite well before that moment, not even getting too emotional when the argument had happened, but her concern for Tony mixed with the emotional day she'd had seemed to have officially worn all of her defences and there was nothing to contain the tears anymore. It wasn't disgusting, loud, sobbing, just small hiccups and a few stray tears but it was enough to tug on Rhodey's sympathies.

"Come here," he offered his own arms for the girl and she immediately fell into them, hugging the leather jacket to her chest as she was embraced by the pilot. He swung them from side to side slightly, clapping his hand on her back and then rubbing circles. It was unusual hugging Rhodey, she'd never really had any skin-to-skin contact with the man, it was strange, but that was mostly because of how unexpectedly good the man was at hugging. Maybe it was something about soldier's, their lives so hard that their bodies become soft. "If Tony were here, I'm sure he'd say something like: get over yourself, moping around isn't going to do anything, start kicking ass and taking names instead."

She chuckled, releasing the leather jacket with one hand so that she could use her fingers to wipe away more falling tears. "He always did have a wonderful way with words."

"Yeah," Rhodey agreed, he dropped one of his arms so Artemis could step back, their eyes meeting and she was happy to find a glimmer of light in the pilot's eyes. Even in the darkest of times, there would always be something, one speck of light to fight against the darkness and it could be found in anyone. It didn't have to be found in a strong soldier ready to fight for his planet, it could be found in the simplest of men, someone that had gone through the darkness enough to know how to combat it. That was the real war, Artemis thought, the war against one's inner self. "Tony will come back Amelia, you're his family and as I said before, people never leave family behind," he continued to comfort and she nodded along with his words, choosing to believe him than look at the pessimistic side of things.

Tony was up in space, in Thanos' territory, but he was Tony, Earth's best defender, a genius, billionaire, ex-playboy, philanthropist and her brother. Above all else he was a Stark. He would survive, and he would come back to her.

"Artemis," she corrected with a light reprimanding tone.

The pilot rolled his eyes, dropping the last arm he had around her shoulder, "I'm going to start calling you something very rude in a minute."

"Is that any way to talk to someone who saved your life?" She feigned a gasp, the smile growing on her blotchy face showing joy that wasn't forced, the best kind of happiness.

"Oh, you're gonna pull that card now are you?"

"Always."

A cough from the doorway halted their conversation and both of the Avenger's turned to look at the newcomer. Whilst Artemis was surprised to find Steve stood there, Rhodey wasn't. The soldier had been the first one to try and go see Artemis after the small spat that had occurred in the living room but the pilot had walked in front of him, raising up a hand to signal that the soldier should stand down and let him see to the brunette first. Steve had agreed, but Rhodey knew he wouldn't be able to help himself from her for much longer.

It was clear to see that Steve still harboured some feelings for the brunette, even before Steve had suggested in a few simple words that the only person's forgiveness he really cared about was Artemis'. Rhodey had seen the frequent staring the soldier had been doing, and how Steve would look at her every single time, like a blind man seeing the night sky in all it's glory for the very first time. It was the kind of stare even he could only ever wish for from his partner in life.

The soldier was stood in the door with his hands pressed against his belt, the only way Steve seemed capable of standing apparently. "Sorry, if I'm interrupting," he apologised, looking between the pair.

"Not at all, Cap," Rhodey replied, taking a step back away from Artemis' as he knew to respect a man and his love for a woman. He looked between the two, catching them staring at each other and the pilot found himself having to look down to hide a smile appearing on his face because _she was staring at him in the exact same way he was_. It became clear that they needed a moment alone to talk and hash out any uncomfortable details, which meant Rhodey needed to figure out some way to exit the room.

"Oh, did you guys hear that?" He abruptly asked, looking over Steve's shoulder with his eyebrow drawn, the soldier and the psychic looked at Rhodey confused as neither had heard anything but that didn't perturb him. "Yeah, I think… Sam, just called for me. I better go." As hastily as he could, the pilot ran from the room, leaving the pair to their own awkward silence.

"Hey," Artemis was the first to speak up.

She didn't hate him. Still, she would look at him, and she never felt even a spark of hatred. He didn't remind her of horrible times or make her feel the loss she'd expected him to. She looked at him, and she felt only adoration. That fear of feeling hatred towards him, towards herself, towards the loss of her child, had been the reason why she'd avoided him for so long. And yet there was nothing. Just… well, she wasn't ready to admit what was tightening her heart then, but Artemis could at least acknowledge there was something there, something that was the absolute opposite of hatred.

"Hey," he responded back, his words short, not helping with how uncomfortable the air around them was. His eyes openly scanned her, pausing on the lump of leather she still held in her hands. Steve's lips raised to the side as a short chuckle left his lips. "Wow, I haven't seen that in a while."

"Yeah, I know right," she mused, rubbing her hand across the fabric once more and releasing a short laugh of her own. It didn't stop feeling awkward though, and rather than looking at him, her eyes roamed around the empty, monotone, room. Artemis didn't like the silence either, so she tried to fill it. "What are you doing here?"

He gestured to the empty room with his eyes. "I guess I had the same idea as you. I wanted to know what it looked like now." He was lying, of course, he was there to see her and make sure that she was okay. Steve just didn't want to tell her that because then she'd think that he still cared about her and the soldier didn't want her to have to worry about that among everything else going on.

"Different, right?" She asked, looking towards the bed which was probably where the two of them spent most of their time together, bedtime would sometimes be the only moments they could catch with one another after a busy day working in the compound.

"Yeah," Steve agreed, a sadness ringing in his words. Whether their relationship ended on a bad note or not, there was no way to deny that their time together had been wonderous and warm and wicked in all the best possible ways. He missed it, and he hated himself for missing it so much because Steve felt like he had no right to it anymore, not now that there was no ring on her finger. But every awkward and stilted moment with Artemis made him miss it even more because those moments reminded him of how things used to be once upon a time.

Looking down to the floor, he noticed a fading stain near the bed, he nodded over towards it, "that stain you made is still there though."

She looked down at it as well, remembering the stain but not recalling whatever variation of the story Steve had conjured up. "Wait, the stain _I_ made?"

His eyebrows came together and as they did his nose scrunched up slightly, the soldier becoming slightly defensive as he pointed an accusing finger towards her. "Yeah, because you kept eating in here when I told you not to and you dropped chocolate on the floor and let it melt into the carpet."

"No, no, no," she held up her own hand and waved it in his face before pointing down at the slightly brown stain, "that's from when you spilt hot chocolate."

"What, no, I never spilt the drinks," he defended, acting as though she'd scorned him. The brunette looked at him with one eyebrow raised, as though she knew something he didn't and was waiting for him to remember something. It took a moment but he eventually did. "Okay, I spilt once but that was because of you, and I didn't spill there, I spilt it in the kitchen."

"Yeah, all over the both of us," Artemis reminded him, unable to prevent a large smile from blossoming on her face as she recalled that particular moment in the kitchen. They were alone for the first time in a long time and she'd surprised him by getting a little handsy, the soldier (with all of his purity) had jumped at the sudden contact and ended up throwing the hot chocolate on the floor, not before soaking the both of them in the boiling hot liquid.

"Well, that was your fault for…" He stopped himself quickly as he remembered the ending of that particular memory, it didn't feel right to bring up how they'd ended up defiling one of the kitchen surfaces after stripping off the boiling hot clothing, not when their relationship was so… broken. It wouldn't have been appropriate. "Anyway," he felt lost, no longer having a conversation to go off as he'd stopped the previous one.

 _Is that all they would be?_ Artemis couldn't help but wonder if all their conversations would end in the same away. Awkward silences. She wasn't sure how long she'd be able to cope with that.

"Listen," they both said, looking to one another in surprise.

"You first," Artemis decided, saying that before Steve could.

Normally the soldier would push the whole 'ladies first' rule, but he had words he needed to say and he felt they were important to both be said and be heard. "I, uh, I just wanted to _apologise_ for earlier, they shouldn't have pushed you that way and I should have stood up for you more, I also should have told Bruce about us."

"And I want to apologise for snapping at you in the way I did, it wasn't fair," Artemis confessed.

"No, I deserved it," Steve denied, earning a swift eye roll from Artemis.

"You're too polite, Steve," she reprimanded gently, no actual hatred being found in her voice, "let's just accept that we were both in the wrong."

"Alright," the soldier permitted, and just like before, the silence returned like a persistent cold. "This is too awkward."

"Yeah, it is," Artemis agreed, relieved to hear that he felt the same way. Suddenly, the soldier took a step forward and instinctively she took a step back, wincing as she did so, neither of them having expected her body to react in such a way. Still, Steve showed respect by stopping and maintaining a reverent space between them which Artemis could easily accept.

"With everything going on, with everything that could happen, I think it's best if we just move on," Steve began to explain, looking up at Artemis through his lashes and the brunette internally thought 'damn, my one weakness'. "It doesn't have to be forever, just until Thanos is out of the picture." He made it clear that he wasn't expecting her forgiveness, not yet, but he just wanted to make sure that they'd at least be able to work together professionally if nothing else. "So, how about a new start?"

The soldier offered out his hand for her to take. "Hi, I'm Steve Rogers, it's nice to meet you, ma'am."

Artemis stared at the open hand, but she didn't reach out to accept it. All she could think was, there he goes again, offering her a chance at a new start. But for the first time, she couldn't take it. Not with how things currently were. A new start would mean forgetting about their child. The one 'almost' of theirs that would always haunt her.

It was time. Of course, the brunette had her fears. For a second she thought about waiting to tell him, waiting until the world wasn't in danger, but she'd done that too many times before and it had always led to ruin. Never again. Artemis was a different person, no longer the girl that held secrets like her body held organs, no longer that girl. She couldn't be.

That was why Artemis was created and why Amelia Stark had to be put to rest, for that moment right there, when she would finally tell him the truth.

"Steve… I think it's my turn to speak," her voice came out quieter than she'd liked, shaking slightly as the words she'd prepared, but was entirely unprepared to speak, sat on the edge of her tongue. She moved over to the bed, sitting down on it and inviting Steve to sit next to her. At her other side, she placed down her leather jacket. "If we're going to start over, then there's something you should know."

The soldier followed her, taking a seat beside her. It was the closest they'd been since the fight at the train station in Edinburgh.

"Something else happened that day you left me."

* * *

 **A/N: AHHHHH THE BABY REVEAL IS SO CLOSE YET SO FAR AWAY! BE STILL MY BEATING HEART!**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, ah thank you, doing simple conversations between characters is something I'm trying to get better at cause I feel I concentrate more on the story than little moments so I appreciate you saying the Sam and Art convo felt natural. Does this chapter count as an actual conversation? It was a still a little stilted, and the next chapter isn't all that much of a convo, more Art speaking than anything else. I just finished writing the chapter where Steve tells Amelia about the past two years for him, and it doesn't really mention Nat's behaviour all that much, and I can't really say anything now because you need context, so, remind me on chapter 110? I'm doing okay, I've just sort of been spending all my time on writing and focusing only on that to catch up on how lazy I've been over the past few days, it's taking my mind of things. Thanks you, again, and I hope you're doing okay.**

 **To d'elfe, hope you like the way I end up handling it lol, and thank you, I'm doing my best and I really appreciate your patience!**

 **To Tina, you're not gonna see this until you get here but thank you, it's really nice reading your reviews as you go through the story and I'm super happy that you're enjoying it!**

 **To Sam748, SHE BOUT TO TELL HIM!**

 **To Kuppcake, yeah, I do go really heavy with the angst don't I? I'm sorry about that, I'm hoping to make my next project something a little lighter around the beginning and end though the middle is going to have to be angst central for reasons I can't say cause spoilers. You're the only one to say that theory, and I honestly thought it would be the most popular one. And ohhhhhh 'Death' is SO MUCH COOLER than who she actually is. And yeah, hopefully it stays vague cause I've basically filled up the past two years for him so it's gonna suck if in Avengers 4 they're like 'HE WAS ACTUALLY DOING THIS THE ENTIRE TIME'. And thank you for your kind words, I'm doing my best ^^**

 **To LoveFiction2018, thank you :)**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, here have another chapter, hope you liked it**

 **To SnowPaws101, holy mackerel you're a fast reader, and also another wow, thank you for your dedication to this. It's been 18 hours since your review, hopefully it wasn't too long a wait before the next chapter lol! Thank you again, hope you enjoyed the rest of the story.**

 **To xLaBellaVita, the awkward moments won't be here for ever... maybe another couple of chapters but they become a lot less suffocating I guess. And I know! I'm so excited for everyone to read what I've written for the Wakandan visit!**

 **To Pitspee, ahaha that would have been hilarious, and I'm glad you picked up on the nicknaming thing, I just wish I could write a scene where Amelia and Tony are like arguing over what to nickname a villain or something. Maybe in Avengers 4 if they ever reunite. I mean, they're about to sit on a bed, does that count? Lol, well you guessed the leather jacket thing right so well done with that. And yus, thank you for your patience I do appreciate it ^^**

 **To RavagerRoseWilson, AGREED AND ALSO IT'S ANTHONY MACKIE'S BIRTHDAY SO THIS IS A GREAT TIME TO HAVE THIS DISCUSSION. Nah, but I'm being serious, I know there's not much they could really write about but I wish they could just give us a movie about Sam Wilson. I don't even need to see him fighting a villain, just talking, a few conversations with Bucky as well. Anyway, I'll stop myself before I start writing the script, I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter!**

 **To BrittStar1199, they need to have the conversation about Noah (the baby) first before they can repair anything, and same, I honestly can't wait to write the showdown, I'm a couple chapters away from it and just EXCITEMENT!**

 **To AngelElmarlienHenning, I'm glad you like the chapter and understand Amelia's decision, hope you enjoyed this one as well ^^ Thank you for the review!**

 **To shugokage, thank you! I want to say that the last one was one of my favourites, but chapter 109 is the one I'm most looking forward to having people read.**

 **To Visenyas, glad to hear you enjoyed the chapter and thank you for being so understanding! Also, I've just finished writing the chapter feat Steve's life for the past two years, it's VERY interesting, and I'm so excited for you to read it!**

 **To Assbitch67, how could you forget about Nutsack? Le gasp! AND I WANT TO WRITE THE SPIDEY FIC BUT YOU KNOW BUCKY THREATENED ME WITH A GUN SO BBF MUST COME FIRST! Also, if that spider was meant to be motivation, then spider-man can literally go fall off a very small cliff because nah, that is not the way to go. Thank you Mexican twin!**

 **And a big thank you to everyone that simply read the chapter!**


	111. Chapter One Hundred and Five

**TRIGGER WARNING: Details miscarriages**

* * *

 **CHAPTER ONE-HUNDRED AND FIVE**

* * *

"Nothing quite makes my bones ache like our 'almost'"

― **S.R.W**

* * *

 _It was a dark and stormy night, that was how all the scary stories started. Gran couldn't help but think that any story starting with those lines had no chance of being as terrifying and foreboding as the storm which she was battling through that night._

 _The elderly woman was pushing her way through the storm slowly but surely, one hand pushed in front of her face to try and stop the sand from scratching all of her skin off._

 _A black fog covered the beach cliffs, the mist transparent enough for Gran to see the waves like giant monstrous hands reaching out and clawing greedily at the ground. The wind chased so ferociously that its whistling was a ringing sound so high-pitched it made Gran feel like her ears were bleeding. The Earth was screaming in pain, but Gran knew that it wasn't their pain the land was howling about, it was Artemis'._

 _At the beach shack, the storm was even worse. Normally at the eye of a storm, there would be some sort of peace, but not on that occasion. It was even more devastating there and that was due to the torture being strongest at that location. The air became thicker the closer she got, like ash was consuming all of the oxygen._

" _Artemis!" Gran screamed, her aged voice quivering as she struggled to even breathe. She bashed her fist against the door, jumping back in surprise when the door simply collapsed. It wasn't due to her hits, of course, she was just a frail old lady. The door was probably older than she was and when put against the furious storm, the simple piece of wood barely stood a chance._

 _The old woman wasted no time mourning the door. She rushed to get upstairs, having to fight the suffocating force that was trying to push her back. In the corner of the bedroom cowered Squidgy, her tail between her legs and her body trembling, yet the dog had still chosen to stay by her owner's side._

 _Gran was only able to afford the dog a one-second look of sympathy before she jumped onto the afflicted psychic's bed, shoving at the brunette's shoulders violently. "Artemis! Artemis! Wake up for God's sake!" She cursed and seconds later the psychic did finally jump up, wide-eyed with her thick brown locks in complete disarray._

" _You're at the beach Amelia, and you need to calm down your powers," Gran ordered, trying to keep her voice calm but it cracked, not out of fear, but out of dismay because it cracked open her heart every time she looked at the woman that was so young, yet so broken._

 _Artemis' friend had said the exact right words, bringing her back from the place in her horrendous nightmare, helping her locate reality. The storm eventually calmed as Artemis did, Gran almost collapsing as the thickness in the air finally faded away._

" _W-What- What happened?" The brunette asked, voice rough and shaky, eyes fixed on the wall across from her but the only thing she was able to see were the images from her dreams._

" _You had another bad dream that made your powers act up violently," Gran explained, half laid on the bed in order to try and ease some of her aching bones. She was way too old to be battling her way through absurdly ferocious storms._

" _Oh," Artemis mumbled softly, "I'm sorry."_

" _I never realised how bad your dreams could get until tonight, I'm a mile away and my window was almost coming off." Squidgy finally felt safe enough to approach her owner again, cautiously jumping up onto the bed and keeping her head lowered until Artemis reached out and stroked her behind the ear, after that, all was forgiven, the dog beginning to wag her tail and push her body against Artemis', encouraging a hug._

" _Which one was it this time?" Gran questioned, observing the brunette's behaviour. She already knew the answer, there was only ever one dream which would leave the psychic in such a disarrayed state._

" _The hospital," she revealed, flicking her hair over her face so she could try and cover up the tears that were falling._

 _Gran sighed sadly and reached out with one hand to rub up and down her arm."I'm sorry, dear."_

 _She sniffled and raised up her chin, aggressively wiping away her tears. For Gran all she saw was Artemis putting on a mask, trying to cover up her cracked exterior. It was too late though. Gran was already well acquainted with the broken side of Artemis. "It's fine," she said, suddenly turning bitter and defensive, "it happened, I don't care."_

 _Immediately the elderly woman was shaking her head 'no'. "You don't mean that," she defied, "he was your child with the man you loved, you're allowed to care."_

" _It doesn't matter whether I'm allowed or not," she spat, making Gran's eyes widen, "I'm glad that it's dead."_

" _Art," Gran called, feeling a dark force fill the room once again. The powers Artemis possessed were under her control, if they were returning than it was because she wanted it to be there. Artemis wanted to drown herself in the darkness, and it was that sort of self-destructive behaviour which Gran could not condone._

" _I mean what kind of life would that child have with me of all people as it's mother? An unhappy one, a lonely one. I wouldn't have loved it right, I can't love anyone right. It's better off dead. Life is better off for the both of us with that thing buried ten feet under the dirt-"_

" _Artemis!" Gran rose up from the ground, face turning red with fury, her lips bent downward and her nose scrunched up with anger. The gaze sent back to her from Artemis (filled with hatred that didn't matter much to Gran because she knew all the hatred wasn't even pointed towards herself) did not ease the fluorescent shade of her skin. "How dare you!"_

" _It was always meant to end this way!" She quarrelled, raising her voice to match Gran's pitch._

 _A strange noise was released from the old woman's throat that belonged somewhere between bafflement and vexation. "I can't believe you would even say those things, grow the fuck up," she scorned, wagging a finger in her direction. "I know you're hurting but that was your baby Artemis, that was your little ball of light and you should give that little ball of light much more respect."_

 _Artemis opened her mouth, ready to defend herself with some immature argument, but Gran refused to give her that luxury, for Artemis' own good. "You think you've grown but really you still look at things through the eyes of a child, and I get why, you never got to be a kid or a teenager or a young adult because of Hydra and you're going through all of that now, but whether you like it or not you are an adult. What happened was sad, sad enough to make you run away from a life full of people that loved you, all because you couldn't handle what you saw in the mirror. But don't you **dare** put that on the baby!"_

" _I'm not, I…" The brunette couldn't think of what to say next, and that only encouraged Gran more._

" _That's exactly what you're doing," she hissed, dropping her hands to rest them on her hips as the old woman continued to glower down at her, "there are many reasons why things fell apart, and many reasons why you had to leave, that baby was just a victim in your war."_

" _Exactly," Artemis spat venomously, "my war, I killed him, it was always meant to be."_

 _The old woman was just about ready to pull her hair out, and then Artemis', and then she'd probably construct a whip out of those hairs to beat the brunette with. Gran was beyond frustrated with the self-hatred Artemis was displaying, using that as a reason to blind herself from any other possible truth. Shaking her head, she dropped her arms down limply at her side. There was no point in trying. All Gran had been doing was trying to help the brunette heal, and all Artemis ever did was take two steps back because she'd become so fixated on hating herself to the point that any other type of reality was clearly thought to be an impossibility._

" _I'm not going to sit here and listen to you lie to yourself and make yourself into a monster, you've done that enough times in your life and I would have hoped you'd have learned to stop," Gran reached out to pet Squidgy, ensuring that the dog was okay one last time. "Show that little ball of light some respect by letting him guide you into becoming a better person. Someone who doesn't risk their life idiotically and allow themselves to be pushed around. Someone who would be a good mother. Sitting here, blaming yourself, that isn't going to do anything."_

 _With those last few words, Gran turned back around and began to walk out of the door. "No, wait," Artemis suddenly cried out, her croaking voice enough to stop Gran and make her turn around. The brunette had moved to the end of her bed and was reaching out with one hand towards the elderly woman. "Please don't go." Artemis didn't want to be alone again, the memories, the loneliness, they were all sharp pains against her ribs and she just couldn't be alone again._

 _Gran sighs, and despite her obvious rage, she does give in. Artemis was asking for her company and that was pretty much her way of asking for help, something the brunette rarely did. No matter how angry she was, her purpose for being there was to help her, that meant dealing with all the frustrating moments as well. Moving over towards the bed, she gestures for Artemis to fall back against the pillows. She took off her soaked dressing gown before getting into the bed, dressed in fluffy pyjama pants and a long-sleeved shirt that had 'Lazy Bones' printed on top of it. They cuddled up together, Artemis resting her head on Gran's chest whilst the elderly woman laid her head back against the headboard of the bed, one hand stroking through the girls hair._

" _You need to heal, my dear," Gran whispered lightly into the fitful darkness, knowing full well that neither of them were going to sleep through the rest of that night, "loving yourself is the best way to start."_

" _I don't know how to do that," Artemis replied weakly, feeling entirely too pathetic. She'd realised a while ago though that there, on that beach, she was at her all time low._

" _I know, me neither," the elderly woman confessed, voice cold as memories resurfaced in her own mind, memories that Artemis wished she could read like a book. It was one of those things, Gran mused, the world would teach you how to love others, how to care for others, how to rip out your own heart and give it to others. But it would never teach someone how to love themselves. She couldn't help but think that maybe if children were taught that they were number one, not whoever they dated, then maybe the world would be a much better place. She dropped her hand down to the girl's arm and gave the limb another squeeze, "but we'll figure it out together."_

"Steve, I was pregnant." There. She'd said it. Just like that. Quick and easy. Simple.

The soldier's jaw fell open and he looked towards Artemis with a disbelieving gaze, trying to work out in his mind what she'd actually said because the words that left her lips couldn't be possible. They couldn't be, because then that would mean he had a kid. A baby who had never even met him. A baby born out of wedlock, a baby who had Amelia as a mother but didn't have him as a father like they were supposed too. A baby. He couldn't have a baby, he would have known about something like that, felt it in his bones, noticed the signs coming from Amelia.

"What?" He replied to her simple statement with a simple question.

"I was pregnant," she repeated. Artemis didn't know whether to reach out and take his hand or not. Physical contact would be personal, and whilst personal wasn't something they should be doing considering their history and the position of their relationship, personal felt almost required because of the subject they were talking about.

In the end, she didn't.

"No, I heard that part. I don't… I don't-" So many thoughts were going through his head, so many questions, the loudest one being 'when can I see them?' But that felt too pushy, too demanding. A part of him felt like he didn't even have the right, two years was a long time, the baby wouldn't even be able to recognise him as the father. "The baby is mine?"

 _Is,_ he'd used the word 'is'. "Yes, but-"

"Where are they now? Are they a boy or a girl? I mean, oh god, two years. "

"Steve… I… the baby isn't here," Artemis had always known the conversation would be hard, it's why she'd ripped off the bandaid so quickly when telling him so her nerves wouldn't cause her to wait another moment (that would turn into a thousand more moments of waiting), but telling him she was pregnant turned out to not even be the hardest part. She should have expected him to react in such a way, to get excited and overwhelmed and have so many questions, so why did the brunette still feel so unprepared? Probably because nothing could prepare a person for that kind of situation.

"You..." the soldier stood up, doing a lap from one wall to the other, the next thought in his head so staggering that he needed to do _something_ that would help keep him fixed in reality and not drowning in the devastating thoughts inside his mind. "You put them up for adoption?"

"No, Steve, just… please, let me just talk," emotions poured from her words and for once Steve wished that she'd stuck with being emotionless, hoping that her calm exterior could have perhaps reflected in him. It wouldn't have.

"Where's our kid?" He demanded, stopping his relentless walking for a moment.

"He's not here." Just say it, she told herself. She needed to just say it, the same way she'd just said that she was pregnant. The longer that she dithered with other words the harder it would get to tell him the truth.

"Then where are they?" Steve urged even more, tone turning demanding, thunderous, and it vibrated through her bones.

"He's dead."

Her words hung in the air ominously, Steve's entire body slumping, the soldier as unprepared as she'd been. Artemis looked him over, and the second their eyes looked away, he turned away from her. Still, she'd seen enough from that one-second glance, she'd seen the light fade from his eyes the way a star died in the night sky, there one moment and gone the next.

"Will you just let me explain, please?" She asked again, begging him to hear her out.

Steve was silent, his entire world having suddenly collapsed around him. He couldn't stand, he needed to sit down. He returned to his seat beside Artemis, his eyes fixed on the floor with an empty gaze that wasn't really empty, not to the brunette, it was more like the space left after everything was destroyed. It was loneliness, and sorrow, and _emptiness_.

"I figured it out just after Peggy's funeral," she started, the words rehearsed enough in her mind for the brunette to know where she should start, though in all those dreams she'd imagined up of telling Steve about the baby she'd never managed to make it to the end. "I think I might have known before that but I sort of refused to acknowledge all the signs, it wasn't until I heard the baby's heartbeat through using my powers that I finally accepted they were alive. They were- They were my little ball of light. I wanted to tell you, of course I did, but we had to deal with Lagos, then the Accords, then Bucky. Plus, I know it's not a great excuse but my headspace then, after everything that happened with Rebecca and Aaron… I wasn't exactly sane.

"I think I even asked you one night whether you wanted to have a child or not, but you said that you didn't want to have a family until after we sorted out Bucky and everything else that was going on, so I decided to wait. I had no idea that things were going to end the way they did. I thought we'd just fight a little, talk a lot, and then make progress. That's how it always seemed to work with you. You always won. We, We always won. But not that time. I was stupid, immature, idiotic. Pick an insult and it will probably perfectly describe my actions then. I just… I kept getting into fights. I was pregnant, but I kept throwing myself into fights because I wanted to be the protector, the saviour, the hero. I got so caught up in all of that, that I didn't even think about the child. You probably know what's coming next.

"The child died. I don't know when. I've thought about it a lot over the past two years. It could have been that fight at the airport, it could have been when Ross' men were beating me up, it could have been at any point really because I was overdoing it constantly, straining myself all the time, being _selfish_. Tony believes that the baby died after he shot me in the stomach when I jumped in the way to protect you, I'm not as convinced but I know that he is."

Steve was on the precipice of crying, a hand over his mouth to cover the way his bottom lip was wobbling. He was trying to stop the tears, trying to push them back, trying to put on a brave face. Artemis wasn't, she couldn't.

"After you left me, after you grabbed Bucky and left the Siberian base, I started bleeding, my body just started giving up on me. T'Challa was thankfully there and he'd brought a jet, he helped take me to the nearest hospital and Tony was there as well. I remember, he couldn't look at me. I'd just told him that I was pregnant but he couldn't meet my eyes. At the time, I thought he was disappointed with me for getting pregnant with your baby. Now I know it was actually all that guilt he was holding on to. Anyway, we got there, they immediately took me to go have surgery, I can't really remember much about that part. All I can remember is screaming, and screaming, and screaming."

There was a part of the story she left out, a part she decided he would be better off not knowing: that she had been in that room screaming out his name.

"I was so loud," she remembered, an empty, hollow, laugh passing her lips because in any other situation her screaming down an entire building would have been humorous, but not that one.

"Tony wasn't there, he tried to be but he had to leave the room because I was just so… bad. I guess that's the only word I can use. I was really, really _bad_. Mentally, physically, emotionally. T'Challa wasn't allowed in because he wasn't family. So I was in that room alone. I was so far along that he- the baby, wouldn't just pass, I had to give birth to him. They told me I could have him cut out of me, and all I could think was that both options weren't nice, I wanted someone else there to just take that decision away from me. I wanted to not have to make any decisions. I… That was the first time I truly wanted to disappear and become someone else. In the end, someone, maybe it was me, decided I'd give birth. I didn't hold him afterward, he didn't really look real to me, nothing felt real in that moment. Even talking about it, I feel like I'm just going to wake up one day and we'll be in bed together and losing him won't have actually been real.

"I, I thought I was dying," Artemis let out a laugh again and it seemed so inappropriate amongst all the snot and tears falling down her face, "I was trying to push him out and I felt like I was dying, I'm surprised I didn't bring the entire hospital down with my powers though I think my hands did start to glow, I'm sure that scared some people. He… He came out at 11.11am

"Time didn't stop, that was possibly the worst thing about it, days still passed and I eventually had to go home and the world around me was fine, the sun still rose and I would always think 'how very fucking dare you, I just lost my child, you don't get to rise any more'. I named him Noah, I hope you don't mind. It means 'rest' and 'repose', which is what that baby would have brought us, I think, kind of. I guess no one really rests much with a baby around, but he would have at least helped us rest from our war-filled lives.

"That night at the gazebo when we talked, that was a week or so after all of that happened. I chose not to tell you because… well, because I was angry, furious at the world and myself and I took that out on you I guess. I truly am sorry though, I know now that it was the wrong decision. I don't expect you to forgive me, I have to forgive myself for what I did every day and even still, some days it's just... it's not an easy thing to do."

That was it, the story was finished. She didn't tell him everything, there were some details that felt too personal, some pains that were only for her, some moments that would only ever be hers and Noah's.

For the first time since Artemis began to tell her tale, she looked over to Steve. His eyes were so blue and so red and so wet, his face blotchy, as though he'd been suffocating himself the entire time. He dropped his hand away from his mouth and began to jump his knee up and down, the soldier opened his mouth, but dead air was the only thing that came out.

So many questions, but he couldn't ask any of them. He felt like he'd died. Had he? The soldier wasn't sure of anything anymore. He'd had a child. _He'd had a child_.

"Steve, please say something," she requested, voice meek.

The soldier shook his head, more tears falling down. "I _can't_ ," he croaked out before standing up and rushing out of the room. Steve hadn't even looked her in the eye, Artemis couldn't help but think that he might never be able to ever again. Did she blame him? No. Not one bit.

She was alone, again. And it was her fault, again. Habits and desires twinkled in the back of her mind, a need to just lay down on that bed and hide from the world appearing and though it was tempting, _Artemis refused it_. She thought of Gran and what the wise old woman would say to her, she'd tell her to not beat herself up, to have more respect and self-love, to grow the fuck up. So she did exactly that, standing up from the bed and grabbing a hold of the leather jacket subconsciously, leaving the room and beginning to chase Steve.

Darkness isn't necessary, but darkness still exists, and from it humans are able to breed light if they so choose. She would choose to see the light.

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 **A/N: So, the chapter you've all waited for, I hope it delivered. I know this ending might frustrate you but I'm trying to be realistic here, after hearing all of that in one go I think anyone would need a break. Plus, Steve has other reasons for leaving but we won't learn them until Chapter 110. I'm telling you that cause I feel like I owe you guys a little.**

 **I'm sorry to anyone who had to deal with the things Amelia explained in this chapter, I did a lot of research so I could get the core of that pain (I don't think any writer ever could tbh) as well as staying true to Amelia. Which is also why I want to explain this a little more: Amelia, the one from two years ago, was a child. She didn't have maternal instinct, I know this is possible because I, myself, possess none. When that child died, she just felt numb and of course she was selfish back then as well so she chose not to hold the baby. It was another failure, another life destroyed, another death on her hands. She couldn't face that, the same way she can't face the eyes of all the people she killed which appeared in the pit. I'm not going to go too much into the reasons behind her mentality, though I definitely could, but I just hope this helps people understand as I've had people use maternal instinct against Amelia before (I'm not trying to be rude with that statement, I promise, we're all allowed to have our own opinions!) and wanted to try give my argument against it.**

 **To AngelElmarlienHenning, I know, I'm terrible with cliffhangers and I do apologise and ahaha I'm sorry, did you need the tissues after all?**

 **To Pitspee, same, I want all the characters to meet and go for schwarma(feel like I'm spelling that wrong), imagine Mantis and Drax discovering schwarma? I have seen the trailer! It looks great and I'm very excited about it, but I'm automatically excited for any marvel movie. BDE? And I think you're lying, I think that pun was very much intended!**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, and here you go, was it worth the wait lol? Yeah, I think we got to see a much better side of Rhodey shine in Avengers 4 (maybe it was because he wasn't being Tony's caretaker for once, yeah, I said it!) and I wanted to play on that some more. Hope you enjoyed the chapter and I'm sorry to hear about your cold, it's nice that it appeared at a realllyyyy inconvenient time. And good luck with Uni! If I ever get low I will message you, but sometimes when my mind goes a certain way I get that whole 'I shouldn't message her, I'm a burden' thing going on, I'll try work on that though :)**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, sorry, I can't help myself when it comes to cliffhangers! Hope you enjoyed the chapter.**

 **To LoveFiction2018, hope you liked the chapter :)**

 **To SnowPaws101, ahaha wow, thank you for giving me the maths. I'm not sure what mine is, I think I'm a slower reader than others but I might have forced that on myself cause I have to read through my own work and look out for mistakes and stuff. And it's fine that you didn't leave reviews, I'm just glad to hear you enjoyed it so much. Again, 18 hours later and I'm updating... We've got a thing going now, watch me make it fall apart tomorrow. And goodbye!**

 **To Hellawoez, You sound like Gran in your first review lol and I just... I don't know how else to answer your first review probably, all I can think of saying is FINALLY! She was a child man, maybe not physically but like anyone coming out of an abusive situation or entering a world different from theres, Amelia latched onto Steve because he'd protected her from the moment they met. Though, I do feel kind of bad that you're so mad at Steve, hopefully chapter 110 might make you change your mind, please do review and let me know! I'm really interested to hear what you think now. In my opinion, they both did stupid things and they both had reasons for it, Steve had grown up being a soldier and he was thrust into a new world with nothing but his title as Captain America so he stuck with it, almost obsessively, feeling as though if he wasn't a soldier then he'd have nothing. But then he met Amelia, and she did change things, but he didn't realise it until everything fell apart. Again, you'll get a better explanation in Chapter 110. Thanks for the review(s)!**

 **To rosequartz121, ahaha, I couldn't resist with that line. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, though 'enjoyed' feels like the wrong word considering it's contents.**

 **To shugokage, thank you! And she did! Yay! Kind of!**

 **To Sam0728, I updated as soon as I could! Hope it was worth the wait.**

 **To Assbitch67, I'm actually Mrs. Cliffhanger, thank you very much. I haven't forgotten the sign, it's etched in my brain. It was so funny though man, I was talking about which story I should do first and then I just looked at my screen and I'd paused it on the scene in Civil War where the Winter Soldier's aiming a gun at a CCTV camera and I was just like 'damn, okay, there's my answer'.**

 **To BrittStar1199, that scene at the start is another one your reviews heavily inspired lol. And idk if Tony's ever going to get that apology lol, it depends on Avengers 4 lol, sorry.**

 **To Unajet, ik ik I'm truly evil, I just can't help myself sometimes. But at least we've finally got the chapter we've been waiting for and Steve finally knows.**

 **To Visenyas, I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR WHAT YOU THOUGHT!**

 **And a big thank you to the people that simply read the chapter, I'm going out for most of the day tomorrow so I don't think there will be a chapter but I'll try my best ^^**


	112. Chapter One Hundred and Six

**CHAPTER ONE-HUNDRED AND SIX**

* * *

"For he would be thinking of love till the stars had run away and the shadows eaten the moon."

― **William Butler Yeats**

* * *

Artemis didn't waste much time before following after the soldier, determined to not let him leave her again and determined to not run away from her problems like she once would. Determined to not repeat her old mistakes and allow her life to fall apart again, all because she couldn't deal with her problems in a mature way.

That was what Amelia Stark would have done, she would have just accepted the misery she was in, let Steve walk away and tell herself that it was a good thing he walked away when he did because that meant the soldier had saved himself from the pain of dating someone like _her_.

But what was the point in all that thinking? In diminishing her worth and inflicting unnecessary punishments? Because the truth was that she wasn't a monster or a weapon or a phoenix rising from the ashes or bloodied hands and bloodied knives or an angel or a demon. She wasn't AS09, hell, she wasn't even Artemis. For God's sake, she was _just a girl_. Just a human. And like any other human, she'd made mistakes, selfish decision and idiotic lies. So why did that mean she had to suffer?

Artemis finally knew the answer to that question: _She didn't_.

The start of her traumatic life had been built around punishment and they always had to be extreme and always swift. So much so that it was just the expected price of living, a mould fit for every day of her life. Punishment was life and life was punishment. It's why she'd been so placated with pain. Yes, it hurt. Yes, she whined. But she lived her life just waiting for it, never doing anything to stop the attack.

It wasn't an excuse, definitely not one she would use to try and justify her mistakes. It was a fact of her life and something she'd had to change about herself in order to become better, someone who could get through life, someone who could face her demons and actually talk to them, not just take their beatings… someone with the potential to actually be a good mother.

The hallways outside their room was empty so Artemis could only assume that he'd used his super soldier speed to make a swift escape. She released a low groan, looking at both ends of the hallway, trying to figure out if Steve would have chosen to go left or right. Left would lead to a space away from everyone to think. Or he'd go right, back to where the team were.

The mission had always been the most important thing to Steve, more important than her, so in that moment it was probably more important than the emotional baggage she'd dumped on top of him. He'd want to put on a brave face, concentrate on saving the world, he would have chosen to go right.

The brunette ran down that direction of the hallway, already preparing what words she'd say to Steve in order to help him heal. It wouldn't be instant of course, it had taken her two whole years but that didn't mean her heart would never break all over again every time she thought about Noah. The only thing she could at least provide him with was a companion that understood what he was going through. That is, if the soldier even forgave her.

By rushing around the corner, Artemis was completely unprepared for the blonde making her way down the hall. The two almost crashed into each other but Nat had luckily put out a hand that stopped them from colliding, the agent's quick instincts coming in handy. "Whoa!" Nat yelled with widened eyes. All surprise that had momentarily filled her expression disappearing the moment Nat took in her best friends damp cheeks, reddened eyes and puffy lips. "What happened?" Natasha questioned darkly, and if Artemis wasn't busy trying to find her friend then she would have smiled at the protective nature.

Artemis continued to search the rest of the hallway but it was empty and there were no signs of Steve anywhere. Reluctantly she sighed, giving up on her search and looking at her friend instead. "Have you seen Steve?"

"No…" The spy said her word slowly, being obvious with the way she was analysing Artemis in order to figure out what had happened, it was clearly something that had upset her friend, but it couldn't have been an actual argument because Nat knew that a quarrel was the last thing Steve wanted to have with his ex-lover. "Why?"

"I told him," Artemis confessed.

"You told him?" Natasha repeated with one eyebrow raised, not immediately understanding what Artemis had meant. It was a simple thing really, the brunette only had one thing she'd needed to inform the soldier of but it was such a huge deal that Natasha wasn't able to connect the news of the baby with the casual tone Amelia had used. When Nat did finally connect all the dots, she threw up her eyebrows and her mouth dropped open, forming the perfect 'O'. "You _told_ him?!"

"Yeah," Artemis confirmed, bewildered by the way Nat was looking at her as though she'd committed some sort of heinous crime. She would have thought that Natasha would be _for_ her telling Steve the truth. Whilst she'd happily embrace the title of being Nat's best friend, Steve was there first.

"Oh God," the blonde groaned, "please tell me you didn't just throw it at him with no preparation." The conversation had clearly ended badly, Nat could gather that much from Artemis' appearance.

Artemis finally gave up on her mission to find Steve, she'd be able to do that later, it wasn't like he'd actually run away when they had Thanos to worry about. Nat was calling her attention a lot more in that moment, the brunette not liking the way she was being made to feel like she'd actually done something terrible by finally telling Steve the truth.

"Well, how else was I supposed to do it?" She replied, voice reaching a higher pitch as she threw up her hands in frustration, "take him out for a nice romantic meal, go stargazing, tell him as we sip glasses of champagne?"

"I'm sure that would be much better than you just throwing all of that onto him," Natasha responded back, able to imagine how Steve must have been feeling after getting all of that news thrown at him out of seemingly nowhere, he probably felt worse than Artemis expected because the brunette lacked certain information which the brunette couldn't possibly have because she hadn't been there with Steve for the past two years.

"Nat, he needed to know," Artemis reminded her friend.

The soldier was the father of that baby and it had been two whole years, it was about damn time that he found out about Noah's existence; Despite what Natasha might have thought, there wasn't a good enough place, time, or way, to give someone that kind of news.

"I'm not disagreeing with that," Natasha sighed, trying to not show too much frustration because Artemis would only misconstrue it as being directed towards her when in actual fact Natasha was only infuriated with the fact that she couldn't share certain information about Steve which would have most likely helped Artemis realise just what she'd done. "But you don't know how these past two years have been for him," was what she'd settled with saying.

"For him?" Sure, Artemis had done her own idiotic mistakes that had hurt Steve and a few others, but _she_ had been the one that got abandoned, that lost the only love of her life, and then moments later lost her baby. What could he have possibly suffered that came close to any of that?

Natasha couldn't have stopped herself from glaring at the brunette and her naive words even if she'd wanted to. The accords had made them all lose something, Artemis having probably lost the most, but Steve came pretty close as well.

"I didn't tell you because you were dealing with your own demons," the blonde started, still mulling over in her head what words she could actually say, "but Steve had lost _everything_ Art. Bucky went back into the ice, the Avengers had broken up, he wasn't Captain America, and possibly the biggest loss for him, the worst part of it all, was that he didn't have you anymore."

"He left me," she reminded Nat.

"And he regrets it every single day," Natasha informed back to the denying girl, that time her frustration genuinely being aimed towards Artemis, "there was an entire four months where he just went and…" She stopped herself before she revealed far too much.

"No, go on," Artemis urged, borderline begging. Was it wrong of her to want to hear about Steve's own hurt? No, it wasn't that. She just wanted to hear his hurt because that would mean he did actually care about her. That brought up more questions, the brunette unable to fathom why she felt so concerned about his feelings towards her when their relationship was meant to be over.

"I can't," Nat revealed with a sigh accompanied by a lazy shake of her head, "that isn't my story to tell. Just know that you're not the only one who spent the past two years suffering."

"I'm sorry," Artemis finally apologised, realising how rude her behaviour had been, how condescending and self-righteous the things she'd said had been. "I didn't think-"

"You didn't know," Natasha corrected, "and of course you wouldn't, because you disappeared." The way Natasha spoke her words were as though they were a matter-of-fact, the way most of her insulting statements were made out to be, because the blonde's intention was never to actually insult a person, just get her message across.

Still, Artemis' eyes closed enough to form a glare, "don't make me feel guilty for that, it's something I had to do."

Nat rolled her eyes at the jump her friend had made. "I'm not arguing against you on that, all I'm asking is that you don't let it go to waste. This family has suffered enough, so if you've really changed, prove it."

"How?" Was that not what she'd been doing? She hadn't awkwardly hidden in a corner and had actually interacted with her old family, made an effort, fought for her own mental health and above all else, _she hadn't run away_. Not from Steve, and not from the truth.

To that question, Natasha simply shrugged, her intensity fading away, "I don't know, half the things I say are improvised."

It was Artemis' turn to roll her eyes at her best friends behaviour. "I've missed your wisdom."

"No you didn't, you had Gran there helping you."

"Yeah…" And Gran had been a great help, up until their last moments together where she'd practically cursed Artemis. The brunette tried not to concentrate on it, Grandma's last few words to her only inspiring a growling pain in the pit of her stomach that fell between nerves, fear and frustration.

"Anyway." Thankfully Natasha provided a change of conversation, moving her body so she was standing sideways, able to look at both ends of the hallway. She nodded towards the way that she'd come from. "I did come here for a reason, we're setting off to Wakanda now."

"Right okay," Artemis acknowledged what that meant. It was time to leave the Avenger's base again, and just like the last time she'd left, Artemis didn't know if she'd ever be returning to it. They were going to Wakanda, they were going to help Vision (and Artemis was going to make damn sure that he got to live, his death would be on her if she failed), and then, they were going to have to face Thanos. She squeezed her hands into fists, not registering at first the leather her nails dug into. Artemis just didn't know if she'd be able to fight Thanos, not as the person she was then, as the dog mum whose only excitement in life was found when her walk on the beach was especially windy on certain days.

As much as she hated to admit it, Amelia Stark was the best suited to face Thanos. AS09 was a cold-blooded killer, Amelia the warrior meant for fighting for freedom, and Artemis was just, well, a dog mum. Not a fighter, not a killer, just an ordinary human being that lived mundanely and didn't know obsessively the colour of blood against shining steel.

"What are you going to do with that?" Natasha suddenly asked, breaking Artemis' reverie.

"Hm?" She followed her friend's eyes to look down at the leather jacket she hadn't even truly noticed was still being held tight in her grasp, she couldn't even remember picking it up. Why had she? "Oh, I- I hadn't even realised I'd picked it up. I should probably go put it back." Turning back around to the way she had come, Artemis was about to return to her and Steve's old bedroom so that she could place it back into the wardrobe (or just throw it on the floor like she always used to) when Natasha's hand wrapped around her wrist.

"Just put it on Art," Natasha ordered gently, once again not beating around the bush, once again knowing exactly what was going through Artemis' head. "It doesn't have to mean anything big, it's just a leather jacket, one that will make you look particularly hot, and that's never a bad thing in my book."

She hesitated, not knowing if she could really do it when the leather jacket belonged to Amelia, not Artemis. But Natasha was right, it didn't have to be anything big, it didn't have to mean that she was going back to being Amelia, it didn't have to mean that she had to go entirely back to who she was, it especially didn't have to mean that Artemis and Amelia, and even AS09, were all the same people. Just like how she'd given Steve the news of his child, Artemis didn't waste any time as she threw her arms into the sleeves and placed the leather jacket on her body.

It was a lot less baggy than it used to be, or maybe she was a lot thicker than she used to be. Gas station food wasn't exactly the best kind of diet. The brunette stretched out her arms, finding that the sleeves were still a tad too long for her. Some things did change, and then some things never did. "This feels weird," the psychic mumbled as she flapped her hands around.

"Definitely doesn't look it," Natasha commented, a smirk filling up her lips as she sent a wink towards her best friend, the kind of wink that could make anyone blush. Artemis wasn't afforded the time to get shy over her friends comment as Natasha was offering out a hand. "Come on, let's face the music together."

Artemis gulped down air as she took Natasha's extended hand into her own, happy to at least have some company when it came to facing Steve again.

Together, the two went down the winding hallways, Nat much better at navigating the two as she'd actually paid attention to where she was going when on her mission to get Artemis. They entered the garage which belonged on the right side of the building, inside of it was a quinjet which most people had already bundled into. Wanda and Vision being the first too as no one wanted the android to exert himself any more than was necessary and hurt his wound more.

The witch looked up at the sound of the pairs new footsteps bashing against the metal of the quinjets entryway. Her eyes immediately went to Artemis, but it wasn't Artemis that she was seeing. It was Amelia.

"Whoa," Wanda marvelled vocally, looking her sister up and down, allowing a warm light to bring life to her eyes as more hope was filling her that maybe her older sister wasn't going to be lost forever. "I forgot how nice you look in that. One could even say that you look like a _work of art_."

Artemis obnoxiously rolled her eyes, looking very much done with Wanda. "Don't steal Jonathan's jokes, they're terrible."

The sound of more feet behind her had encouraged Artemis to turn her head around. When the brunette's eyes connected with his blues (the colour of an Antarctic ocean), her mouth automatically clamped shut. It was Steve, only just arriving to the quinjet, which must mean that he'd turned left, not right. For just a moment unspoken words settled in the air as a suffocating tension, Wanda presuming that it was because of Jonathan being mentioned again. Natasha, Artemis and Steve were the only ones who knew the real reason for the stares intensely.

Words remained unsaid because they couldn't be said. Artemis didn't want too many people knowing about Noah, she didn't want to have that particular conversation with more people than was necessary, she didn't want to have to relive that night more than she already did. The guilt and the shame and the sorrow, it was too much to go through and Artemis hoped that Steve felt the same way as she gestured with her hand back to the exit of the quinjet, "Steve, can we-"

"Just give me some time," the soldier requested as he held up his own hand, looking away from her, and when that was mixed with the rough tone of his voice, Artemis was hit with the sensation that he couldn't even bear to look at her. That was so much worse than hatred. He seemed to realise how much animosity had slipped through his tone, his chest deflating as a much gentler, "please," passed his lips.

"Yeah, okay," she forced on a smile as the soldier wandered deeper into the quinjet. As Steve walked away, Artemis looked over to Nat, her best friend trying her hardest to form a supportive smile but it was cracked in places.

Despite her obvious melancholia, Artemis didn't blame Steve for his reaction towards her and she just hoped that, seen as he finally knew the last secret that they were keeping from each other, then maybe they'd be able to move on. Not a relationship, Artemis never expected the pair to get back together (then again she had been expecting some reservations appearing in the form of her remembering that lonely hospital filled with the echoes of her screams whenever she looked at him - the only memories looking at Steve brought her were of happier times, times she surprisingly missed).

She was just glad to have all the lies out. To have every nook and cranny of their burnt down house explored, that meant they could move on to fix it without causing any more damage. She'd learnt the damage that keeping all those lies in, never moving forward, could do.

 _The kitchen inside Artemis' beach shack was small, only a small space available between two rows of cupboards, also including an oven, hob, sink and fridge. It was hard enough making her way around the kitchen when she was just on her own (along with the dogs walking under her feet), but on that particular day, there was another person stumbling their way through the kitchen with her, Gran._

 _The two girls had their appointed sides of the kitchen but would sometimes have to cross over in order to get a bowl or particular ingredient. Whenever that happened one of them would grunt or groan, letting their displeasure be known but not throwing out any insults as they knew it really couldn't be helped. Besides, both of them were actually in a pretty good mood._

" _Baking and cooking were such a great joy to me before I left my home, I'm glad that I could rediscover this passion with you," Gran commented as she continued to stir the cream mix together for the cake that Artemis was finishing up, almost ready to be poured into the cake tin and thrown into the oven._

" _I lost it too," Artemis responded, but for once she wasn't going down the dark and gloomy road of memory lane as their baking seemed to be keeping her in a good mood, "I can't believe I'm making red velvet cake though, it always seemed so complicated to me."_

 _Gran let out a low chuckle, resting her arm for a moment as it cramped from all the stirring she'd been doing. Artemis wasn't experiencing that issue as she got to use her powers. "Not at all, it's just like every other cake. As long as you know the right amount of each ingredient and don't go overboard, then things should go fine."_

 _The elder woman's words brought up more memories, echoing the same thing that Steve used to say to her. Artemis couldn't help but wonder if Gran ever experienced the same thing. Her stirring slowed slightly as she turned to fully face her friend. "Could your tell me about your past life?" Art requested, the only reaction she got from Gran was a pause in her movements which urged the brunette to try and explain herself so she came across as less daunting. "We always talk about mine, and you'll let slip things sometimes but… I don't know, we never truly talk about it."_

 _Gran recovered from the pause slowly, letting a silence settle for a moment as she started to stir again. Eventually, the old woman shrugged her shoulders and started to speak quietly. "There's not much to talk about dear," she answered softly, "I was in love with a man, we both made stupid mistakes, and so we had to spend some time apart. Or, I thought we needed some time apart. I thought forever, I thought being away from him was the only way I could fix things- myself. I was wrong, though."_

" _How could you know?" Being away from Steve was the only way Artemis could see herself ever changing. She needed to remove herself from the one person that made her feel so passionately that she lost her mind._

" _I had no idea until after I'd left," Gran revealed, finished with stirring the cream that had reached a perfect consistency. At her sides, her hands clenched into fists. "I left and then he… he died. He died and I wasn't there for him because I'd left."_

 _Behind Artemis, the spoon stopped stirring the cake, "oh, I'm- I'm so sorry."_

 _Gran could only smile bitterly, Artemis' apologies weren't going to fix anything and neither was her just standing there feeling sorry for herself. "I'm hoping I can make up for it, which is why I'm here. In a similar way to how I want you to heal from the baby and improve who you once were, I've come to heal another part of myself, the part of me that thinks I couldn't be with him because of my flaws."_

" _I wish I could say the same for myself," she sighed as she turned back to face her cake mix, grabbing the bowl and starting to pour the mix into a large round tin. "But after all that's happened between me and Steve, fixing just isn't an option."_

" _There you go with that pessimism again," Gran tutted, walking over to the buzzing oven that had been heating up during their conversation, opening it up for her friend that began to carry the tin over. "Fixing is always an option, just like with baking a cake, as long as you have all the correct ingredient and don't overflow it with one of them, the relationship will turn out just right."_

 _Gran closed the oven once the cake was inside, both of them eyeing the mixture with satisfied stares. "The way I see things now for what happened between me and my man," Gran continued, "is that we started the relationship at the wrong time. We were both different people going through different horrible things, and whilst being together helped us get through most of the issues, it just couldn't have worked out. But then we'd spent time apart, we'd grown, our love was still there in our hearts but our minds and our lifestyles were impeding that relationship, which is why time apart was so valuable for our relationship. We could have been stronger than ever, if I'd only given him that one last chance."_

" _You really think it could be that simple?" Artemis questioned, voice soft with a tinge of hope even though the brunette was unaware of it, and she would have been unsure of its existence had she noticed it. She was only meant to feel hatred towards the man that had abandoned her and left her to birth a dead baby. But was that really all that Steve was to her?_

 _Gran gave Amelia a determined nod, "I think that, as long as the love is there, that any relationship can be fixed with the right amount of effort."_

Artemis settled down in her own seat, choosing to sit away from Steve and give him the space he needed, but that did not mean she was done trying to fix their broken parts. Because he was more than just bad memories to her, he was hot chocolates and warm beds and her favourite colour of blue and bright red faces and chances and Steve, he was _Steve_.

* * *

 **A/N: Hello again, thanks for being so patient. Hope this chapter gave you all a little bit of more insight, though I know you probably won't get a good enough picture until chapter 110 which I'm sorry about. Anyway, in the next chapter they arrive in Wakanda and that's when things get really interesting, I'm so excited for you to read them. Chapter 107-110 are my absolute favourites with part five and I hope they'll be your favourites too ^^**

 **To SnowPaws101, hello second review, I'll answer this one first. That's a very interesting question and I wish I had more damn time to go fully into detail. So, in part one, she's just started growing her hair out because that's when she was doing a lot of missions and Pierce had grown soft with her so he finally let her start to grow her hair it. It was just below her ears. She was muscley, she needed to be from all the training she was doing, but she also really thin. Through the years she would have gotten more meat on her bones, and she's grown her hair out because that's what she wanted from such a young age after always having it shaved it. So in part five, she's chubby and she's got raven's feet by her eyes everytime she smiles and her hair reaches the bottom of her spine. Idk, tbh I try not to specify too much with appearance because I like that people can build her up in their own heads and stuff like that. There are some definite features, the freckles, the olive skin (same skin tone as RDJ when he's not being white-washed cause lol they're related) and her eyes are black, like a really down brown, earth after it rains brown. I have mentioned that quite a lot but it's cool that you don't remember, I forgot the word 'hesitate' today and I've forgotten much worse things in my life. Hope this was a helpful answer. I'll go find your first review now and reply to that… glad you're happy about the update and that I could help cheer you up (kind of) on your off day! I know I don't need to update everyday but I like to, I like writing a lot because it distracts my brain, but life is getting in the way a lot recently lol. Thank you for leaving not one, but TWO reviews!**

 **To Pitspee, you really think Thanos is going to let them have the farm life? Lolol, idk, I've probably already said this before but idk how this story is going to end right now because I don't know what's going to happen in Avengers 4. They could get a happy ending, or it could be a miserable ending. All I know is how this part ends. Also, I like to think that I sort of showed how he's moving away from being the soldier in this chapter by how he choose to go left and take time to care for his emotions and stuff rather than simply moving on from the news and going to the mission like Artemis thought he would. I was totally going to include a scene of them visiting Noah's grave but it wouldn't fit in anywhere sadly, but y'know, maybe in Avenger's 4? And ahaha Big Dick Energy oh wow. Did you see the Dark Pheonix trailer? She's got some BDE as well.**

 **To Faora, I'm sorry! But also I'm kind of happy that I could invoke such sorrow with my writing! I'm sorry for that too lol**

 **To Guest #1, I'm sorry, but hey, at least now he knows about the kid? We've been waiting for that for a while.**

 **To Guest #2, Steve needed to know about the kid, so yes, I had to, I'm really sorry and agreed, nobody should have to go through this! Thanks for the review and sorry for hurting your feels**

 **To Sam0728, that's some huge compliments, I'm happy all that stuff got across in the last chapter. Thank you! And oh man, Captain America will shatter soon my friend, sooooon.**

 **To RavagerRoseWilson, I'm sorry! Hopefully your feels are less hurt by this chapter, with the additional Art/Gran bonding scene.**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, asfgjsdlgj thank you, I'll try remind myself of that. And thank you so fucking much, that it honestly so sweet of you to say and just thank you. I'm so happy that her character development is coming through. And tbh with you, I am actually thinking of turning this into an original work, I'm not going to take moments from this scene to scene but the relationships and Amelia's story will all be included in it, maybe one day once I'm done. And I'd have no issue giving you a signed version lol. Hope you enjoyed this chapter as well.**

 **To CrumblingUniverses, oh wow that's a huge compliment thank you so much, and I'm sorry you had to wait so long to find out what happened next, still, I hope you enjoyed the chapter**

 **To Guest #3, it was a long awaited chapter, even I couldn't wait to write it and I felt terrible everytime I thought about my excitement cause I knew that it held such a dark topic. Still, at least Steve knows now and yes, ARTEMIS RUN AFTER THE LIGHT!**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, agreed, it is very sad but I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter too :)**

 **To rosequartz121, I get you, that's the same way I felt when rereading it. It's dark shit but at least it's finally been said. And thank you, I'll be repeating that set up when we get to Steve telling his story ^^**

 **To Visenyas, yay for character development! Steve's reaction is both clear and unclear in the following chapters, only really showing it's true colours in chapter 110 but you should be able to read between the lines and see how he's truly feeling. Hope that makes sense, enjoy the chapter!**

 **To LoveFiction2018, hope you enjoyed this chapter too :)**

 **To AngelElmarlienHenning, double reviews is fine don't worry about it ^^ Steve just got some very hard to hear news, Artemis accidentally made him believe he had a child that was alive, so his world pretty much collapsed in on itself. Idk about you but I'd try and run away if the floor was falling out beneath me as well lol. Hope you enjoyed the chap!**

 **And a big thank you to everyone That simply read the chapter!**


	113. Chapter One Hundred and Seven

**CHAPTER ONE-HUNDRED AND SEVEN**

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"The truth will set you free, but at first it will piss you off."

― **Joe Klass**

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"Drop two-six hundred, heading zero-three-zero," Steve explained to Sam as both the soldier and the pilot stared out of the front window of the quinjet, only a widespread jungle of thick green visible to them. No city, no opening to a city, just a wall of jungle which had Sam questioning Steve's sanity as Cap had told everyone they were about to land in Wakanda.

Whilst the rest of the revitalised Avengers were getting ready to leave the quinjet, Artemis had remained in her seat on the left side of the quinjet staring at Steve's back. She'd spent most of the trip sat with Natasha and Bruce, mostly third-wheeling as they shared a conversation; the brunette being used as an excuse by Natasha to be a starting topic of conversation with Banner. It had started off with being about her dreams and then it somehow turned into the two catching up on their lives over the past few years. Natasha was very impressed that he'd pretty much lived as a gladiator, though that did not stop the spy from feeling the loss of those empty years which could have been spent with the two of them nurturing a blooming relationship.

Artemis was probably the only one there on that ship who could relate to what Natasha was feeling so she didn't at all mind being used in such a way if it meant providing her friend something everyone wished for: _time_.

In her own personal silence, as Natasha and Bruce talked fondly to each other, she'd also started to wish for more time. More time with her brother, more time with Steve, more time _for_ Steve so he could come to terms with what she'd told him, and more time for her to explain why she'd had to keep that information from him. She was determined to find it somewhere, she'd snatch it from God himself if she had to.

"I hope you're right about this," Sam mumbled, beginning to follow Steve's instructions, lowering the quinjet towards the jungle side, "or we're going to land a lot faster than we want to." Despite the trust he had in his Captain, Sam still flinched as they made contact with the extremely real looking jungle.

It wasn't exactly surprising, but it did bring Sam great relief when the ship passed through a border, the thick jungle a mere hologram keeping the real Wakanda veiled.

Art stood up along with Banner and Rhodey to look out of the main window. Gran had described Wakanda to Artemis many times, stating that it made mighty cities like New York mere dirt, ant hills whilst the City of Wakanda was mountains, possessing the kind of tremendous sinew that only God's could design. Artemis found herself stunned to find that Gran's words weren't even close to encapsulating the significant grandeur of the wide city. It was overwhelming, the kind of city that needed to be photographed into her memory and yet the brunette found herself looking more towards Steve than anywhere else.

Fear quivered her spine like scorpion stabs as she waited for him to turn around and catch her eyes. The flight had been long and Steve had spent a lot of it in silence, most likely thinking more on the news of his child. Artemis was hoping that he might have been ready for the two of them to sit down and talk. She knew that they needed to have the conversation before they all fought against Thanos as teamwork would be a necessity if they hoped to win against him.

He never did meet her eyes though. In fact, the soldier did everything in his power that he could do to ensure that she practically became invisible to him. Steve always turned away from her and whenever she got close to him he'd walk to the other side of the ship, far away from her presence.

Once Sam parked the quinjet and opened the back door for them all to leave, Steve was one of the first, rushing to make his exit.

Artemis let out a huff from where she was stood as she watched Steve begin to exit the quinjet, unsure as to whether she should push him for the conversation again or simply wait and hope. It wasn't until Natasha elbowed her side, nodding her head towards the retreating soldier that Artemis made a decision and it turned out she'd made the right choice.

It didn't become clear at first, none of them noticed the way the soldier was walking determinedly towards the King of Wakanda, eyes fixed only on T'Challa, ignoring all of the guards that were surrounding him.

"Steve," Artemis had called but he didn't seem to even hear her words. The brunette finally realised why he was acting so strangely when she reached the soldiers side and saw the expression on his face, rage as bright as a dying sun reflected in his eyes. She spun her head around to see what exactly he was looking at, saw that it was T'Challa, and then the puzzle pieces all clicked into place inside her mind at the exact same time that T'Challa noticed the super soldier's tightened fists.

"Steve!" She repeated, much more panicked as she ran to stand in front of him. The brunette put out her hands against his chest, trying to stop him from moving forward but she would have had better luck trying to stop a train with just her bare hands. He still pushed forward, a haze covering his mind.

Artemis heard the shuffle of feet behind her and she knew that the king's guards had picked up on the dangerous fury emanating from him and so Artemis had to step up her efforts to try and stop him from getting any closer. Taking one step back so she was ahead of him, she raised up her hands and created a barrier which he ended up smashing into. She felt the force against herself but as always she did not show the pain, instead she concentrated on calming down the soldier.

Artemis passed through her own barrier in order to get to his side and automatically she reached for him with her hand but she pulled it back almost immediately, not allowing any skin-to-skin contact to be made. Her touch would probably only anger him.

"Steve, what are you doing?" Natasha asked as she joined the pair, previously she'd been walking behind them trying to give the two space but she soon figured out that her voice of reason was going to be required. As soon as the blonde spy was by their side she reached out with a hand and pressed it against his shoulder, Artemis feeling a spike of jealousy because Natasha's touch would actually have an effect on him.

"He knew Nat," Steve huffed through heavy breaths, eyes still on T'Challa, "when he was helping with Bucky, with Addy, and then during those entire four months _he knew_."

"So did I," Natasha argued, tone like a scorning mother, "and I don't see you running to punch me. We need his help with Thanos so I don't think it'd be a great idea if you punched the only help we have against the bad guy."

"It's my fault, not his, so if you're going to be angry at anyone than be angry at me," Artemis included her own thoughts, but the only response that Steve afforded her was a glance, his eyes spelling out that her words had been entirely preposterous. But that made no sense. She had been the one to keep the truth from him and the one that had asked everyone else to keep the truth from him, she was owed more fury from the soldier than anyone else. And if he really wasn't angry at her, than why had he been avoiding her so vehemently during their ride over to Wakanda?

From behind them T'Challa was observing what was happening, having been taken aback by the domineering behaviour of the Captain. It wasn't hard to figure it out once he realised that Artemis was a part of the equation which also included himself. Steve must have found out about the baby, as well as learning that T'Challa had been privy to the knowledge long before he, the father of the baby, had.

The king stepped forward, raising a hand to let his guards know that he wished to approach the two, of course they kept their gaze fixed on him even though he was smart when approaching, never passing the barrier that Artemis had created so the soldier didn't get the opportunity to throttle him.

"She had made me promise Captain," he told Steve, keeping his voice as calm and as soothing as he could, trying his best to not inflame the soldiers vexed mood anymore. "I would have been a bad king if I'd gone back on my word." He hoped that what he'd said would show to Steve that he'd known it was a dastardly thing to do but he'd had no choice as he was a king and keeping his word was one of the most important things that he needed to nourish.

Steve's chest was heaving, his eyebrows drawn and his lips pressed down into a frown. He hadn't even realised when his anger had taken over, but it had, and all he could see was T'Challa's face and red. No, that was a lie. Anger isn't just seeing red. It was feeling red, blood red, angered flesh red, pumping through his veins, through his mind, calling attention to any memories he had which would ignite his reason for feeling such vexation.

Four months. That was Steve's reason. Four months he'd spent in Wakanda with the company of T'Challa and his two friends, and during those four months he'd been… despondent. A shell of the man he was. For four months he'd wasted his time entirely, trying to fill up his heart with anything, searching for some sort of reason as to why him and Amelia had had to end things. T'Challa had seen all of that, and yet he'd never said a word, never given him the one thing that might have at least glued some of his broken pieces back together.

But… Steve could understand why he hadn't said anything. Because he'd promised, and in that moment, Steve couldn't help but think viciously to himself that at least _someone_ was able to keep a promise for Amelia.

"Steve," the brunette whispered his name for the hundredth time, trying to call his attention onto herself and that time his eyes did move over to her and they stayed on her. She didn't have any words, just a look on her face, an expression brimming with emotion. So many emotions it was hard to pinpoint which one was the most dominating. It didn't matter all that much though because as soon as he saw fear glistening in her eyes, his demeanour weakened.

Physically, his calm state became clearer when he shut his eyes tightly and allowed his shoulders to fall. T'Challa looked between the calming soldier and the tense psychic, trying to be as careful as he could be when picking his moments to speak, acting as though he was approaching a wild, untamed, animal, rather than a level-headed leader. "If it makes any of this better, I did want to tell you Captain," he explained. T'Challa considered what the two had to be a very strong friendship, especially after he stayed in Wakanda for four months rebuilding himself whilst building something else. It was a shame that it had to be built upon a lie, but he'd not really had any other choice.

He'd made the promise to Amelia when she was at her most desperate. She'd just given birth to Noah and had been practically catatonic, her first words to him being that he needed to never speak of what had transpired to Steve. When he hadn't responded, she'd started to beg, tears and snot falling from her face as she weakly tried to get on her feet, unsurprisingly ending up on the floor but that hadn't stopped her. She continued to beg him. Steve couldn't find out. _Steve couldn't find out_.

It was strange because Amelia couldn't remember that moment, she'd been so drugged up that the only memory she had of T'Challa being there was when he took her to the hospital. That meant she couldn't remember so passionately not wanting Steve to know about the baby because she wanted to save him from the pain that knowledge brought. Only T'Challa was aware of that reason behind her decision because it had only revealed itself when all of her walls were broken down.

"No, I understand. She made you promise," Steve relinquished, opening his eyes again that seemed to possess less temper but it was still clearly sizzling beneath the surface, "it's my fault, anyway." During the last part of his sentence, the soldier's voice had turned quieter, all that rampage mutating into some form of hatred which seemed directed only at himself. Artemis couldn't figure out why he was saying it was his fault, clearly it was hers.

"I'm sorry for causing you any trouble," Steve continued, moving on from his triggered moment, standing up straighter and becoming the leader once again, the man in charge who'd guide them all into war, not the father of a lost child. She wondered if him having to do that broke his heart like it did hers.

"You do not need to apologise," T'Challa responded with a smile as the psychic finally dropped her barrier, feeling sure that Steve wouldn't attack the king if the opportunity showed itself, Natasha had made sure that he'd know why he couldn't do such a thing. T'Challa was critical for their fight against Thanos.

Once the border was down Steve stepped closer to the king, putting out a hand for T'Challa to shake. "You're right, I should be thanking you, which is something I've been doing quite a lot lately." It had started with Bucky, then after that Steve had seeked refuge in Wakanda so he could do his own version of therapy that the king had been surprisingly supportive of, then they'd needed the Black Panther's help with getting Addy out of trouble. Now he needed his help to face Thanos. Steve couldn't help but wonder if he'd ever stop needing T'Challa's help, perhaps if he ever changed his lifestyle.

"Steve!" A girlish cry came from closeby, all of them turning to look at who'd called out for the Captain but only Steve was able to recognise her. He only encouraged his teams confusion as he ran up to the girl and embraced her in his arms, lifting her up and spinning them around. She was clearly an adult, her figure chubby and her height small. The woman's hair was strawberry blonde like Pepper's, but it was much more curly, falling in complete disarray around her head like some sort of twirling halo. The only thing Artemis was paying attention to was how familiar the woman behaved around Steve.

Though, once she realised that all of the thoughts going through her head were borderline jealous, she decided to move onto something else and instead turned to face T'Challa, sending him an apologetic look as she nodded towards Steve, "sorry about that."

Immediately the king shook his head, "you don't need to apologise either," he said it so adamantly that Artemis felt her heart tighten. She felt very guilty over a lot of things, so it was nice to hear from someone that some things didn't have to mean punishment for her. She'd been running away from everything for so long it wasn't surprising that there were prices she needed to pay, that didn't stop it from hurting though.

"Thank you, T'Challa," she sighed outwardly as she took another step closer towards the king so she could throw out her arms and hug him. Hugs were great gifts in her opinion. Only, it was frowned upon for an outsider to latch themselves onto the king without asking for permission first - a similar level of atrocity that Steve would have commited had Artemis not been there to stop him, the same kind of act that had T'Challa''s guards becoming overly protective - Artemis and her actions were not exempt from the same treatment, that became clear to the brunette when seconds into the hug she felt something cold being pushed in between the pairs embrace, forcing her away from the king. After stepping away from T'Challa, she looked down in confusion to inspect what had ruined their moment. "Okay, that's a spear in my face," she commented, probably not as scared as she should have been.

"As funny as a match between you and her would be, I think it would be best saved for another time," T'Challa chuckled at the images going through his head, concluding that the world would definitely meet its end if the two fighters did ever combat one another. He reached out with his hand and pushed down his guards staff, "Okoye, this is Amelia Stark, though she is sometimes referred to as the Queen of Hell. Amelia, this is Okoye, the general of the Dora Milaje and the head of Wakanda's armed forces."

"Nice to meet you," Artemis greeted the bald woman with only a small bit of sarcasm dancing with her tone. All it took was a single glance to make Artemis respect T'Challa's guard. Okoye was the kind of warrior Amelia Stark had once upon a time wanted to be, the kind that was a warrior through life, not just on the battlefield. Little did she know that Okoye felt the same way after giving the brunette one glance. She didn't vocalise her thoughts, but she did stand up straight and pull her staff away, affording the fellow warrior a curt nod of her head which, unbeknownst to Artemis, was more than what most outsiders would get from the Wakandan. Turning back to T'Challa, Artemis raised up a finger as she moved onto her next point, "oh, I've changed my name to Artemis now, but we can stick with the Queen of Hell still."

"My apologies, _Artemis_ ," he tested out her new name and found it uncomfortable against his tongue.

From their side they heard some laughter and Artemis turned her head to spy on Steve and the mysterious blonde. Except it wasn't just the two blonde's stood there anymore. Artemis recognised Bucky immediately. Unlike with Steve, Artemis actually knew how she felt towards the enhanced soldier. No malice, no hatred, a bit of sympathy, and plenty of forgiveness.

She'd never found out what happened to Bucky after the fight in the Siberian base. He had two arms at least, that was a good thing, it showed there had been some progress made. That's what she wanted between them, progress. It would be uncomfortable but after spending a day with Steve she'd become pretty good at handling uncomfortable.

"Uh, if you'll excuse me," she mumbled to T'Challa and Okoye, already wandering closer to the trio, the rest of the Avengers moving behind her to greet the King. Bucky noticed her first, then the blonde who's gaze immediately turned analytical after seeing Artemis approach, when she reached behind Steve the strawberry blonde moved in front of Bucky almost protectively and Artemis decided she didn't want to test just how defensive the stranger could be so she stopped just behind Steve. "Hey."

The soldier turned around but Artemis did her best to keep her gaze steady on Bucky, afraid that if she showed she was acknowledging his presence than he'd run away. Bucky reached out with his hand and wrapped it around the strawberry blonde's, Artemis recognised it as a comforting touch but she couldn't figure out who it was meant for. "Hello," Bucky greeted back, his strict tone showing that he felt the same discomfort that she was feeling.

Artemis was refusing to let that discomfort get in the way, she wasn't going to allow any darkness to fester between them. That's what the old Amelia Stark would do.

"How's the head?" She asked, referring to the mess Hydra had left in his mind.

"Better. How's your head?" He repeated back to her, referring to the mess a life of trauma's had left in her head.

"Better," she echoed his answer. Neither of them were completely cured of their ailments, but compared to how they used to be, just 'better' was more than perfect.

"My heads doing fine as well, in case anyone was wondering," the strawberry blonde intervened, clearly trying to dissipate some of the tension. Both Steve and Bucky smiled fondly at her whilst Artemis' face remained blank. She was still working on figuring out who the strawberry blonde was, let alone what her personality was like, whether she was meant to take any jokes offensively or not.

"It's good to see that you're doing better Addy," Steve replied, joy in his tone which had Artemis even more perplexed. "How's the wedding planning going?"

"Good, I finally know what flowers I want," Addy responded, bouncing on the back of her feet excitedly.

"Is that it?" Steve seemed baffled by the news she'd just shared.

"She's spent the past three weeks thinking only about the flowers," Bucky groaned, but despite his whining the metal armed giant was smiling warmly at the woman by his side.

Addy nudged his shoulder with her own, "the flowers were the hardest part, the rest of the stuff is easy-peasy."

"I always thought the food would be the hardest part, especially the cake," Artemis murmured, trying to involve herself in the conversation so she wasn't just a third-wheel standing in the background. Plus, maybe a conversation with the strawberry blonde would help her figure out who she was to Steve and Bucky. Both herself and Steve did their best to not think that, perhaps if things had been different, they'd be planning what cake they wanted for their wedding.

Addy's green eyes fell onto Artemis and they were surprisingly welcoming. The strawberry blonde shrugged her shoulders. "Cake is cake."

Artemis gasped, "how can you say that?"

"So how are we looking?" Natasha questioned from behind the chattering squad, all of them turning to hear the King's answer. None of them had forgotten about the oncoming danger.

"You will have my King's guard, the border tribe, the Dora Milaje and-" Once T'Challa was finished listing his forces he gestured over towards Bucky and Addy.

The strawberry blonde finished the sentence for the King, "and a semi-stable hundred year old man and his completely unstable fiance in crime." Her voice always rung with happiness, even when she'd been sarcastic, and she spoke to everyone like they were close friends (maybe they were, Artemis had no idea what she'd missed over the past two years). Addy was nice, that was what her analysing had gathered.

"Are you two sure you want to be a part of this?" Steve abruptly asked, souring the joking mood Addy had set up, it was a necessary evil though. "I know you two said you wanted to concentrate on your wedding and having a normal life for once-"

Addy waved her hand in front of Steve's face before he could continue on, "we've talked about it and we both agree that a giant psycho alien planning on wiping out half of the universe is a better reason than most get for coming out of retirement," she explained, looking towards Bucky so he could give a nod, confirming all that his fiance had said. "It is, however, the only reason we'll come out of retirement," she added as an afterthought.

"Well, we appreciate the help," Nat said, joining Artemis' side.

"No problem," Addy replied, leaning casually against Bucky's side like it was the only place she belonged. Her eyes moved to behind them, spotting the rest of the Avenger's and she pushed her way past Steve and Artemis, approaching the android that was half leaning against Wanda. "Ah, you must be Vision! You're more purple than I imagined you'd be, I do like the colour though, it reminds me of a flower, 'Warsaw Nike Clematis', very pretty. Anyway, me and Shuri will take a look at you soon, heal up that nasty wound, but she needs to get the lab set up first." Her explanation was rushed out as she bent over and eyed the wound on his stomach. Seconds later she stood back up with a huge grin on her face.

She was a scientist, that was the next thing Artemis learnt about Addy. Her profession gave Artemis a lot of information on her personality but it didn't help the brunette learn anymore about what the strawberry blonde meant to Steve and Bucky. Sure, she knew that Addy was Bucky's fiance, had he gotten engaged in the past two years? That was awfully fast.

"In the meantime we have set up some rooms for you all to stay in," T'Challa continued on from Addy's point, signaling with two fingers to a few people that had been waiting silently in the background, Artemis guessed that they were intending to take the group to their appointed rooms.

It seemed the Strawberry blonde had a different plan for Artemis though as she linked her arm with her own and pulled the brunette almost violently to her side. "I'll take Amelia to hers," she offered, tone somehow demanding and sugary sweet at the same time, "I know where it is."

"Addy," Bucky was the first to speak up though it looked like Steve really wanted to as well, the soldier looking almost pained by the prospect of the two girls having alone time. "I'm not sure if that's a good idea-"

"See you guys later!" It was already too late, Artemis being pulled by the surprisingly strong strawberry blonde into the magnificently gargantuan, building across from where they'd been talking.

Once the pair were far enough away from any prying ears, Addy turned to face her, a friendly smile curving her lips and for the first time in her life Artemis found herself deathly afraid of such a bright and beaming grin. "So, you're the girl Steve and Bucky were telling me about."

"Uh, maybe?" Dread replaced her fear as she thought about what the two of them must have been saying to the strawberry blonde seen as the last time she'd seen either of Bucky and Steve had ended badly.

"I'm Adelaine, Bucky's long term fiance." She explained, as though that would have been explanation enough. Her presumption had been right.

"Wait, you're that _Addy_? But, I thought…" Artemis was stunned, and if Addy hadn't been pulling her along she would have stopped walking. Memories awoke in her head, Steve's stories of his plant loving best friend filling her mind. She was the Addy who tried to be positive in every situation, but was incredibly pessimistic when it came to some things. She was the Addy who loved plants like they were her children, giving a name to each one and even having conversations with them. She was the Addy that dealt with both Bucky and Steve's trouble-making ways like a pro, and she's also the Addy who was quite a trouble maker herself. She was _that Addy_.

Artemis didn't know how to finish her sentence, because if she was really that Addy, then she was also the Addy who had mysteriously vanished, presumed dead by everyone, even Steve who wouldn't ever give up on a friend. Thankfully, she didn't have to finish as Addy stepped in, she seemed to have a knack for finishing other people's sentences.

"That I died? Yeah, a lot of people did apparently." She spoke about it so casually, like it didn't affect her at all. Artemis knew that trick well.

"I can't believes there's another one of you," Artemis huffed, earning a laugh from Addy who took the statement as it was intended, it truly was a strange idea to think that all three of them had somehow managed to survive over a hundred years and come out of it with the same youthful glow they'd possessed all those years ago. They weren't all completely the same as they had once been, but their friendship and adoration for one another had survived, that was the most important in her opinion.

"Fate just _really_ wants me and Bucky to be together," she explained, cocking her head backwards to look at Artemis, but she then puckered out her lips in thought, "and yet not together at the same time. She's a cruel mistress. Anyway, that's not the reason I dragged you away, I was hoping we'd be able to have a little chat." Shaking her head, Addy returned her smile onto her lips, the kind of smile it was hard for anyone to say no to.

The brunette looked to Addy warily, eyebrows drawing together. "...Okay."

"You should know I'm very protective of my boy's, with Bucky it's a fiance thing, and with Steve it's definitely more of a mum thing so you don't have to worry about that," she began to explain.

Artemis intervened her explanation for a second, "I wasn't." All she got from Addy was a look that could have been taken in two ways, one was that Addy was irritated by her interruption, the other being that Addy saw through her lies.

"Of course you weren't. I'm just saying. So, anyway, could you tell me about Steve? I haven't seen him in a while - almost a hundred years - and I just wanted to make sure that he was coping okay with everything that had happened, as a _motherly best friend_ would," again she made sure that Artemis knew what the relationship between herself and Steve was but that time the brunette didn't try to argue against her. "It must have been hard for him, waking up in another time, having lost everyone and everything he ever had."

"Yeah," the brunette sighed in agreement, when they'd been in a relationship that thought had always broken her heart and made her wish that she could go back in time so he wouldn't have to wake up alone, "but, you're probably better of just asking him about it. I haven't seen him in two years."

"Well, what about before that? You were pretty close, right?"

"Well, I guess, yeah." Pretty close seemed like a bit of an understatement, they'd been 'almost's. Looking forward, she concentrated solely on her words, to begin with she had anyway. "He was doing okay. With me he was. There were some things I think he thought too much about, like always being a soldier and protecting people, not giving his life much room for anything else. But other than that he was a great guy. Amazing, really. He was kind, and generous, and sweet, and slightly sarcastic at times but they were always wonderful times." Towards the end of her report, Addy got the sense that she'd started speaking from the heart rather than just being clinical and detached.

"He really is a great guy, isn't he?" Addy interrogated, leaning even closer to Artemis with a knowing smile playing on her lips.

"Yeah, he is," it was hard for Artemis to not smile as well, as all those great memories she had with Steve, those blessed moments, rose like the sun in the morning at the back of her mind, filling her with warmth and light.

"Sorry, I know this is probably making you uncomfortable." No, it wasn't, Artemis realised, but it should have been. "I heard what happened between you two, Steve told me, I hope that doesn't make you feel awkward."

The warmth melted away as clouds covered those thoughts, Artemis beginning to connect dots in her head. If she'd heard what had happened between her and Steve, then that meant they'd already discussed his past. "If you've been talking to him than why would you ask me what he was like?"

"I just wanted to see how you felt about him," she revealed.

"Oh." Art did end up getting awkward, of course she did because if Addy was able to take anything from her words than it would be that she was still smitten with Steve, and Artemis wasn't sure if she was ready for anyone to think that, not even herself. "So, how much time do we have before we need to go to the lab?"

"Well, Shuri should be finishing up with setting things up, so Vision will be taken up soon and then me and Shuri will help fix him up and do some tests. We're still waiting on everyone to arrive so we probably won't do anything about the stone until tomorrow when we've analysed Vis' brain enough. That gives us time for a meal which I'm really looking forward to, it'll be nice to have everyone there relaxed, being merry. Though, there is one other thing that I wanted to talk to you about, preferably before the dinner." Addy stopped them from walking any further down the hallway right in front of a door that Artemis assumed belonged to her room.

Addy somehow managed to say all of that in between a few short breaths and it actually felt quite tiring for Artemis who had become more used to one-liners and sarcastic quips after talking to only Gran for two years. She barely heard what Addy had said, too taken by the fact that she'd fit in so many words. "Go for it."

"Bucky." Adelaine said his name lovingly, Artemis able to imagine the way she said his name like the way someone would lovingly cradle their baby, holding in their arms the most important thing in their life. But carried with that love, came a somberness. A seriousness Artemis didn't think the joyous strawberry blonde could possess. "He is a great man, with a pure soul. If he had any control over his actions than I can guarantee you he would never have even touched your parents, or you. But he did, and he has to live with that the same way you have to live with what Hydra did to you and the same way I have to live with what Hydra did to me. I think we can both agree that a little forgiveness would go a long way."

Artemis looked down as she nodded her head, it truly was amazing and terrifying and incredibly saddening to think just how much damage Hydra had done to the people that least deserved it. Looking back up, she became determined and that emotion followed through into her words. "There's nothing to forgive, I know Bucky wasn't in control of his actions and that he was actually trying to help me."

"Well maybe you could talk about it with him then, for me. I know you don't really me, but I'm pretty cool and would make a great friend. I can give you all the dirt on Steve as well." Addy winked at Artemis. It was amazing how the strawberry blonde could switch from serious to overzealous in the matter of seconds, but it was also refreshing, the kind of personality that Artemis felt was needed in everyone's life.

"Your offer sounds very tempting," the brunette mused, only half joking.

"All I ask in return is that you let Bucky know that he isn't to blame. I tell him all the time but what do I know, I've only been his girlfriend around sixty times," she shrugged her shoulders, and when Artemis opened her mouth to ask what exactly she meant, the strawberry blonde just waved her hand half-heartedly, "long story."

She closed her mouth again, deciding that she'd probably be better off if she chose not to ask. Addy was definitely strange, but it was a very likeable trait. Moving on, she nodded her head up and down to give Addy the answer she'd wanted. "I'll have a word with him when I can."

"Good." The strawberry blonde did another excitable jump. "Well, I'm going to go hang out with my boys for a little while. You're welcome to join us but I can already guess that you won't, so I'll see you at dinner instead. I'll get someone to tell you what time it is. Don't know who yet, maybe I could get T'Challa to do it, that would be hilarious, he is a King after all." She was already walking away from Artemis, leaving her in front of the door even though the brunette still didn't know whether it was actually her room or not.

"...Right."

* * *

 **A/N: I just want to let you guys know I'm determined to finish part five in October, before my birthday (29th) and then I'm going to go on a break for about a month and start on my other projects. One of those projects being the story of Addy and Bucky! Please do let me know what you think about Addy, I'm so excited to hear your thoughts!**

 **To Tina, hello! Yay! I'm so happy to see you're still here and have enjoyed the story. We kind of see mentions of jealous Steve but nothing much, I can add it to a list of things to include in the one-shot series I'm doing with Assbitch67? Do you have an account for this site? I'm trying to figure out of a way I can tell you when I write and publish it? AGAIN THANK YOU FOR STICKING AROUND!**

 **To AngelElmarlienHenning, glad you enjoyed the last chapter, this one is definitely one of my favourites (as is the next one, and the one after that, and the one after that lol) so I hope you liked this one too! And I'm just about to start writing for the battle scenes, I'm both excited and nervous lol**

 **To SnowPaws101, don't worry about late reviews, I'm just glad to see your review ^^ And I said a similar answer to the Tina reviewer, I haven't room to include anything in part five and I'm doubting part six will include a great jealous scene, but I am writing a one-shot series with Assbitch67 and I can try and include something there, it's up to her as well so I'll have to talk to her about it but we should be able to make something happen and I'll try let you know when you do. Do you have an account on this site? You could follow me and then you'd get an email whenever I update, or just tell me your username and I guess I could try and remember to PM you?**

 **To LoveFiction2018, glad to hear it!**

 **To kuppcake, thank you so much, hope you enjoyed the scene where she sees Bucky again, there will be more interaction in the next chapter ^^**

 **To Pitspee, true, and Natasha agrees that Steve should have been told but she's assumed that Art just sort of threw the news at him and expected him to just 'deal with it'. And thank you, Noah seemed the perfect name to me too ^^ ALSO the chapter you inspired is coming up next btw and I'm gonna have to give Mystique a 'meh', I'm sorry, like I love her sometimes and then other times I kind of hate her.**

 **To d'elfe, you don't have to thank me for updating, thank you for reviewing! And oh wow, this is a big compliment, I'm not going to lie this made me tear up a little because it's just really nice to hear all this stuff I've tried to create is seen by my readers and just wow, thank you so much for taking the time to tell me all of this because it means so much. I mean that as sincerely as I possibly can. And I will keep going, thank you for the motivation and the confidence-booster. I hope you enjoyed this update.**

 **To Sam0728, that wasn't the last time Steve was with Bucky, and you'll find out what he was up to if you read Bones Becoming Flowers ;)**

 **To Dragon, ahaha thank you a lot for the review, and I'm glad you like my representation of Wanda, that was a surprise to hear but I'm glad that I've been doing okay and helping build her up in your mind. Thank you for reading!**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, 110 will kill you and give you life, I promise ^^ And I've already planned this and the ending of part five kind of depends heavily on Avengers 4 so… Plus, I want to work on some other projects and that break until Avengers 4 will allow me to explore some other characters. Specifically the two I have in my head right now, which is Addy for BBF and Alice for an Untitled Peter Parker story. And I have even been thinking, dependent on how Avengers 4 ends, I might actually do something huge and write a story with all three of the girls included. I'm not quite sure about that though and I've got to finish the two other stories before I even think about going down that path. Who Wants To Live Forever makes me cry everytime I listen to it for some reason, so yeah, guess it fits this story lol. And I still need to check out the Katherine Jenkins' version, this is the first time I've been on my laptop in a couple of days and it's also three in the morning, I'll try remember to do it tomorrow lol. Hope you enjoyed the chapter, see you in the next one which is another great one.**

 **To CrumblingUniverses, Art's development is becoming one of my favourite things about part five tbh, you saw a bit more about what Steve did during the two years but the full picture comes in Chapter 110, and agreed, I've definitely gone in a different direction to how some people might write Steve, I mean I made him a bad guy at one point with how he treated Art. But I prefer it, I feel it's more honest and shows that Artemis has had real effects on the characters. I'm sorry for taking ages to post! *virtually hugs you back***

 **To Faora, whoo for Amelia being a strong, independent, woman FINALLY!**

 **To Assbitch67, I miss the mexican autocorrect bandit, I also miss you, I hope you read this, I'm sorry I haven't been able to message, I haven't really been near my laptop at all. I hope you're doing okay!**

 **To shugokage, thank you for the reviews ^^**


	114. Chapter One Hundred and Eight

**CHAPTER ONE-HUNDRED AND EIGHT**

* * *

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

― **Martin Luther King**

* * *

Fire. That was all that filled the short ten minute nap that Artemis was able to endure.

After Addy had left the brunette entered her bedroom, her breath immediately taken away as she stepped into the extravagant room that consisted of black and gold. It almost felt like the room had been made for her, and for a second she genuinely believed that it had been but then she remembered that T'Challa was as big a fan of the colour black as she was. They should have started a fan club.

It was hard to refuse the bed in the centre of the room, the bed frame black and glossy, the bed sheets a patterned black and gold, the mattress and covers looking like one big marshmallow. It felt like one. She'd only intended to sit on it, but she ended up sinking into the clouds and the rest of her body fell backwards too.

It felt too good to be true. There she was, surrounded by so much luxury after two years of a permanently broken home that she could never fix. It was too good to be true.

The fire came the second Artemis untied the chains keeping her bones strict, the second she closed her eyes and sunk deeper into the quicksand inside her mind. The darkness behind her eyelids lasting only a moment, the black bringing her a sense of peace she was gasping for once the purple fire spat upward, lighting up a scene that stopped her breathing entirely. There was screaming, her dreams always included screaming. Artemis wasn't able to see who was releasing the anguished cries as her focus was fixed on Thanos, or maybe that was what the Space Stone was making her focus on.

His gauntlet was raised as he allowed the Reality Stone to float into its rightful place. A purple wave passed over the Mad Titan, and though his body had clenched from some sensation of pain, his face only showed pleasure. Thanos' eyes were fixed only on his gauntlet, his pride, the only thing important to him. He seemed to quite easily ignore the desecration behind him, the destruction, the daunting _screams_.

But none of that, not a single one of them, was the worst part, not for Artemis. No. The part of the image in front of her that sent a flood of pure ice throughout her insides, was Thanos' smile. It was an exact replica of what Rebecca's had been, the smile of someone that knew they'd already won.

The second she woke up, Artemis launched herself from the bed, as though what she'd been lying on wasn't a bed at all but a spiders web promising imminent doom.

It was difficult for the brunette to find her barings at first, that image of Thanos' sickening grin pulsating loudly in her mind. The only other thought that was loud enough to break through that image was 'Steve'. _Steve_.

She needed to tell him about Thanos having another stone, that was clearly the only reason she'd thought of him in her most frightened of states. It was the most logical. And it was the easiest reason Artemis was able to find among thousands of others that the brunette simply wasn't ready to accept yet. It also gave her an excuse to try and talk to him, the news of Thanos' latest escapade perhaps being enough to lure the super soldier into her trap.

She didn't leave her room immediately, first she needed to compose herself. Artemis did her best to shove all her fears in a box along with the perpetuating image of Thanos' smile and the shakes attacking her body. She put on a metaphorical mask that dulled her eyes and made her face feel tighter. Once Artemis was sure that she looked less petrified, she exited the room.

When she turned around to close the door, Artemis noticed that her hand was still shaking so she frowned down at the limb. She didn't want to be showing any fear, especially not in front of her teammates - Steve included - in case it lowered their morale. She knew they were already feeling quite daunted after hearing about what Thanos had done to Thor.

"Amelia!" As soon as she heard someone calling her name she clenched her hands into fists and hid them behind her back as she turned to face the person that had called her name. It was Wanda. "Oh, sorry, Artemis," the witch corrected herself, eyes wary on her friend as she'd taken the way Artemis had clenched her fists as a sign of aggression even though it wasn't meant at all to come across that way. Artemis hadn't even noticed that Wanda had called out the wrong name.

"It's cool," she replied casually, trying to move on from the misunderstanding. Artemis didn't want to bring up her dream without talking to Steve about it first, there was no point making her friend panic before they'd formed a proper plan. Instead she searched for a different topic of conversation, noticing that Wanda was stood at the door next to hers with a hand on the handle. "Are you staying next door?"

Wanda looked over to her own door before answering, "yeah."

Artemis began to walk closer to Wanda. "Great, well, I'd appreciate it if you and Vision try to be quiet when you're playing nookie tonight."

The witch let out a snort, doing her best to disguise the scarlet blush painting her cheeks, "nookie? Where'd you learn that word?"

"Sam, of course," Artemis answered. There had been a lot of occasions over the past few years where she'd realise that Sam had said quite a few inappropriate things in front of her and she'd been too innocent to realise it. It had been the same with the word 'nookie'. "Though I didn't understand what he meant at the time. He was telling Steve that the best way to get nookie was if he showed his 'super muscles'. I thought they were talking about food so I encouraged him." They both started to chuckle at that point. "In my defense, we were in a restaurant at time."

Wanda's laugh was joyful, and Artemis felt honoured to be the one to bring about such an emotion when she knew the witch was busying herself most of the time with worrying about Vision. Perhaps it was guilt driving Artemis' desire to put a smile on her little sisters face.

The brunette noticed then that Wanda was lacking the android that was usually stuck to her side. She hoped that meant he was getting his injury healed. "Where's Vision?"

"Addy took him over to Shuri's lab," Wanda confirmed Artemis' thoughts, "she also wanted to show off her new lab to Steve; hopefully Vis will be healed up for this meal thing that's happening."

"Yeah, Addy mentioned the meal to me too," the brunette sighed, beginning to shuffle from one foot to the other as that meal began to weigh heavy in her mind. "I feel like it's going to be a little awkward though, all of us together in a room… eating… maybe talking."

"Well I think it will be fun," Wanda inferred confidently. It would be their first meal as a group for the first time in two years, her entire family reunited, with some new members as well. "As long as I get my rest," the witch nodded over to the door she was partially leaning against.

She understood what Wanda was implying so she took a step back so Wanda had room to make her exit. But before she could completely enter her bedroom Artemis slipped out another question, "wait, do you know where Steve is?"

Wanda stepped back and raised her eyes up to the roof in thought. "He was with Addy last time I checked, I think they're done at the lab though." Wanda looked back to her friend guiltily, "sorry, that's not much help."

"It's okay," Artemis shrugged her shoulders, not wanting to keep Wanda away from her bed any longer, "I can just use my powers, I still remember what Steve's spirit looks like."

"I bet you do," Wanda quipped suggestively.

"Go to bed," Artemis ordered after rolling her eyes at Wanda's statement, not bothering to think deeper on the meaning behind them.

Wanda gave Artemis a salute, "yes ma'am."

Artemis waited until her little sister had gone into her bedroom and shut the door before she crouched lower to the ground and splayed her hand out across the floor, allowing her powers to spread out from her fingertips on that spot to throughout the entire building, creating a sonar image the psychic could focus on as she closed her eyes. She saw everyone that was inside the building but didn't concentrate on them or stray from her search for Steve's 'spirit'. Artemis called them spirits because each one made her feel something. Some made her feel danger, others melancholy, some happiness. Then there were the ones that looked different, she believed only those that were important to her had spirits that looked different. Steve's was very specific, his spirit was the same blue encapsulated in his eyes and it danced with the rage of an ocean. His spirit made her feel calm. That time was no different.

Once she had a location and a path plotted, she stood back up and began her journey, thankful that she had her powers to help guide her or else she would have immediately gotten lost inside the gigantic Wakandan palace.

After going up three flights of stairs and turning down far too many hallways to count Artemis finally found where Steve's spirit was, finding him seated in front of a giant floor length window with his two best friends.

They seemed to be in the middle of a conversation that Addy wasn't pleased with, the strawberry blonde lifting herself off of her fiance's lap so she could lean over towards Steve and slap him on the back of his head. "Steve, you're being a complete idiot-" Addy paused her chastising when her rolling eyes spotted the brunette. She cleared her throat and replaced her scornful eyes with a bubbling smile. "Hey, Amelia," her voice was very cheerful, the motherly disapproval that had once painted her voice vanishing.

"Hey," Artemis greeted back slowly, "did I, uh, interrupt, something?"

"Not at all," Addy waved hand carelessly as she approached Artemis. From behind the strawberry blonde Artemis was able to see Steve turning in his seat, and immediately staring down at the ground with a strict expression. Steve still couldn't look her in the eyes, and that still broke her heart. Addy took her mind away from that momentarily as she grabbed a hold of both Artemis' hands, tugging on them, "you're here to talk to Bucky, right?"

No, she wasn't. But it didn't look like she'd manage to get Steve to actually speak to her anyway, and the conversation she needed to have with Bucky was just as important as the one about Thanos. He'd clearly tensed in his seat and was struggling with meeting her eyes, the metal-armed giant looked almost ashamed, like he needed to run out of the room and stay away from her. Addy was right, he clearly did still feel guilty and that, in turn, made her feel guilty. Looking back over to Addy, she gave what was meant to be a determined nod, but it ended up being more of a slight twitch. "Uh, I can."

"Great," the strawberry blonde cheered, bouncing on the heel of her feet as she turned around, disarrayed curls twirling with her head. "Steve, come on, I'll introduce you to our kids," her request came out as more of a demand as she waved her hand in a 'come this way' manner. He obeyed, the soldier probably looking for any excuse to leave and get as far away as he could from Artemis.

"Maybe I should come with you," Bucky added, already trying to stand up.

"No Sugar Plum, you stay right where you are," Addy ordered, walking over towards him and pushing him back down in his seat, even though he probably could have quite easily fought back, the metal-armed giant followed what his fiance said. Whipped, was the word that came to Artemis' mind then. Addy softened her demand with a quick peck on his stubbled cheek and then she proceeded to move over to Steve, linking her arm with his so she could pull him away, not that the soldier was trying to stay. She looked to both Artemis and Bucky, green eyes glistening the same way light winked through the branches of summer trees. "We'll be right back, you two have fun catching up."

The strawberry blonde's exit was swift, leaving no room for arguments from either party that she was trapping in that room.

"So," Artemis started, cringing slightly at the awkwardness but doing her best to not show it by looking around the room. They were in some sort of living room, it was filled with chairs and plants she'd never seen before (or maybe she had, Artemis rarely paid attention to the greenery of places, though in that moment she was finding them very interesting). She walked closer to Bucky, sitting down in a seat that had previously been taken by Steve. Once she was done inspecting every corner of the place, she turned her head to face Bucky and clapped her hands together. "You have a fiance now, and children?"

He let out a small chuckle which had her eyebrows drawing close together in confusion, unsure as to what she'd said that was so funny. "She's talking about our goats," he revealed.

"Oh," Artemis mumbled, "well, still, congrats, with the wedding and stuff."

Bucky gave a grateful nod, his lips remained in a tight line though. "Yeah, thanks." His appreciative words were stunted by the uncomfortable tension between them, Artemis able to feel its thickness crawling on every open bit of flesh like a parade of spiders crawling all over her.

"Uh," she groaned out, unable to take the buzzing on her skin any longer, "why is this so awkward? I've punched you in the nose for god's sake." It was a naive question really, they both knew why it was awkward. The last time she'd seen him she'd been trying to kill him after finding out that he was the one who not only killed both of her parents, but had also been the one to let Hydra get their clutches on her. But it wasn't him, Artemis knew that. _It wasn't him_. What she needed to do, her new mission, was make sure that Bucky learnt that too.

"Look, I'm not going to beat around the bush. When I found out you were the one that killed my parents, I did want to kill you. I hated you so much and it was only because of my connection with Steve that you survived that day." Her honesty was brutal, but that is what she intended, Bucky would see the rest of what she said, any positives, as lies if she didn't make it clear to him at first that she wasn't looking to comfort him, simply looking to get her truth out in the open. As expected, Bucky looked wounded by her words, his eyes casting away from the floor, to his metal hand and she could easily imagine the self-destructive thoughts that were playing like a screeching song in his mind. "But, saying that, I _know it wasn't you_." To those words, the metal-armed giant did look up, she made sure to stare him right back in the eye.

"That was Hydra's weapon which did all of those things. _You_ were the one that tried to get me to an orphanage, you did everything in your power to protect me and for that I am truly grateful, Bucky." Artemis turned to fully face him with her body, shedding herself of any mask to give him her authentic side, the broken girl still fighting day after day, just like him. "I'll never be happy with what happened to me, but it happened, and I refuse to let all of that stuff get to me anymore. You should do the same."

He sniffed, eyes failing to connect with hers for more than ten seconds before he was looking back down at the ground. Artemis was sure of it though, she'd seen tears in his eyes. "Addy made you say all of this, didn't she?" He asked lightheartedly, the weight of his true feelings being kept at the back of his throat that made his voice slightly croaky.

"Not at all," the brunette responded, receiving a look of disbelief from Bucky that made it clear he'd guessed Addy had pretty early on, she hadn't exactly been covert with the way she'd pushed for the two to have a private conversation. Art had promised to herself that she'd be honest with him, so she extended her answer. "Addy told me that you were still blaming yourself for what happened, but everything I'm saying is my own opinion."

He gave an understanding nod, seemingly accepting it. A silence fell between them that was filled with Bucky thinking, his thoughts so loud despite his lips never moving an inch. He wanted to acknowledge her words, to thank her for what she'd said and accept that _it was okay_. But… he couldn't. He just couldn't.

"It means a lot you saying all of this, but, I'm still not me. I woke up too early, the codewords are still in my head, and as long as they're there then there's always going to be a part of me that is the Winter Soldier. A part of me that did those things to you, and to all those horrible people." He'd gone to Wakanda in order to sort out the programming in his head, but that hadn't worked out because of Addy. He didn't blame her or hate her, for the most part he blamed Hydra. But it meant he was still a threat, the Winter Soldier was still there, looming in the back of his head, eyes closed but ears open, waiting for those damn words to be said. The worst part was knowing that he couldn't stop it from happening even if he wanted to. If those words were said, he could kill Addy, Steve, he could take another innocent child and destroy their lives, he would do anything Hydra said. Living with that kind of fear, a fear of simple words, it destroyed him everyday and he was sure if he didn't have Addy by his side than he wouldn't be there to hear Amelia's useless forgiveness. "I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I don't think there is an actual fix for what I've done."

She took in his words, feeling them linger like cobwebs on her fingers, demanding she shake them free. There was a lot of things she couldn't fix. Her past was one of them, but the future, that was what she had power over. "I'm going to do something. Something that might be weird for you at first, but just, trust me, okay?" The brunette stood up from his seat, stretching out her fingers and staring at the metal-armed giant with an intense determination.

Bucky eyed her curiously and leaned back in his seat. "Are you going to punch me in the face again?"

Artemis shook her head, choosing to ignore that comment. "I can't erase your memories, mainly because I don't want to. They make you who you are and I'm pretty sure your fiance would kill me if I dared to erase a single part of you, but I can at least fix what Hydra did to you."

"What do you mean?"

She took in a deep breath, preparing herself both mentally and physically. "I can get rid of the programmings inside of your head." The brunette did not say those words lightly, choosing to only say them as long as she was positive she could do it. Though the word promise was never spoken, she believed that the words she'd said held the same defining prospect and that was something Artemis would never take lightly.

He seemed to pause, as though his entire body had been frozen in a second of time, his chest didn't even rise with breathing. Bucky's eyes stared straight ahead and she actually wished she could see into his head then, was it fear? Maybe it should have been. Artemis wanted to believe that it was hope confronting his mind in that second he was frozen in. Abruptly, making Artemis jump back slightly, he jumped onto his feet. "Do it," Bucky ordered, his voice cracking.

"Are you sure? Cause I've only ever done this on my dogs," Artemis felt the need to give him some sort of disclaimer.

"That's not really comforting," he explained though his determination never left him, "but if you think you can do it, if you think I can get them out of my head and finally live without the fear that someone will say the magic words and have me hurt those I love, then you _have_ to do it." Even if it hurt, Bucky didn't really care. He'd felt pain from having his mind messed with before, and though sometimes in quiet moments he could still hear the electric burning into the side of his head, for Addy he was willing to go through that pain again.

"Alright," Artemis agreed, stretching out her fingers once more before rising them up to the side of his head, "you shouldn't feel any pain, my dogs didn't."

"Yeah, please stop mentioning how you only did this on your dogs," he requested, shutting his eyes once her hands were brought up to the side of his head.

"Sorry," she apologised, also closing her eyes as black and white energy flowed like smoke from her fingertips towards the metal-armed giant's head.

He waited for pain. His entire body was tensed and prepared for pain, but it never came.

Artemis concentrated on entering his mind, imagining herself as an astronaut delving into space. That's always how the inside of her dogs mind looked and it was no different inside of Bucky's. Tiny specks, like stars, floated around his mind, seemingly never ending, some unreachable. The black abyss pulsed with white every now and again, and Artemis always believed that those pulses were the electrical pulses of his body at work. She floated slowly as one would do in space, her arms outstretched as she delved deeper. There were a lot more stars in his mind than there was in her dogs, but that wasn't surprising.

The most important things to him were at the front, she wasn't surprised that when she looked into certain stars - that up close were giant balls of light - she saw Addy. Some visions of Addy seemed to be from a completely different era. Of her dancing, of her in some sort of plant-filled apartment, most of them capturing her dazzling smiles. Everything about Addy seemed to be brighter in those images, and Artemis wondered if that was because that's exactly what he saw when he looked at the strawberry blonde. She couldn't help but wonder how she looked in Steve's mind, and where exactly she belonged among his millions of constellations.

"How are you feeling?" She asked, voice distant as she continued to delve deeper into his mind, pushing her way down. Memories were always found downward, that's what she'd learnt from experimenting on her dogs.

"Tingly," was Bucky's only way to describe the feeling passing through his mind. It was… nice. Like a warm hug around his mind.

Artemis was glad to hear that she wasn't hurting him in anyway, so she continued her exploration. Swimming downward, swimming through the stars. Eventually things got darker though. The only light coming from the passing electrical pulses as his stars got dimmer and dimmer until they were balls of black. Her dogs memories had all been bright lights, but his memories… they were so _dark_. And she didn't just mean in colour. On closer inspection, she saw one ball of black light showing Addy once more, except in that she was being punched and beaten and it was by his hands. In another, she saw him laid on a table with scientists looming over him. "Addy," he'd called out, "where's Addy?" A man stepped up closer, a sickening grin on the man's bulbous face. She turned away, trying not to let herself get distracted, trying not to pry too much into his memories. Artemis wasn't sure if she wanted to see them anyway, if she could take seeing the darkest parts of the most broken man she knew.

The further she went, the louder the screams got. And for a second Artemis couldn't help but laugh, because that's probably what her mind sounded like as well. In it's darkest parts, all there would be was the screams and beggings of her victims. _Concentrate_ , she told herself, but it became so difficult. They were _so loud_. So anguished. So much like the screams in her own head.

 _Stop it,_ she told herself, stopping where she was and calming herself. She needed to keep her own feelings monotone as she explored through his mind, not knowing if what she felt, or if her memories, would pass into his as well. He had enough darkness in his head, he didn't need hers as well. She kept taking in deep breaths, and then she pushed herself to focus on the words being said instead of the screams, trying to drown them out so she could find the trigger words.

"Желание, ржавый, семнадцать, рассвет, печь, девять, добросердечный, возвращение на родину, один, грузовой вагон," she said them out loud herself, repeating them over and over again quietly, waiting until she heard them echo back at her from among the screams. Once she caught onto it, she threw up her hands. She was the one in control, she would find those words, she would fix Bucky, she would kill the Winter Soldier, she would find Hydra's programming.

Artemis threw her body down, as though the gravity had suddenly thickened and she was hurtling to the ground rather than floating through space. She landed harshly, and though she wasn't supposed to feel pain, she did. Her legs scraped across invisible ground and the force on her front as she landed made her release a low groan. She'd reached the bottom. Even with her dogs she hadn't delved so deep. Fear set in her, and rightly so. Something was lurking in the background.

Their footsteps were loud, echoing through the black space that seemed to go on forever. It wasn't until an electrical pulse passed that she finally saw what- or _who_ , it was. The Winter Soldier, her executioner. He started charging towards her and she instinctively started trying to retreat, crawling backwards before stumbling back onto her feet and running away. But he chased after her. He would always chase after her. He would always get her in the end and hurt her, cut her up, bruise her, break everyone bone he touched. _He was going to destroy her_.

But she'd been destroyed so many times. Not again. She desperately wanted that, to just be free… just like Bucky, another victim to the Winter Soldier.

Artemis then remembered that that was why she was there. That it wasn't the Winter Soldier, she was in Bucky's mind. It was the Winter Soldier, but it wasn't a real one, not one that could hurt her. No, for once, she was the one in power, the one that would hurt _him_.

She slowed to a halt, clenching her hands into fists as she turned around and faced the Winter Soldier head on, allowing him to get closer. Closer. And Closer. So close he was the perfect distance away to cause her serious damage, his hand raising.

"No!" She yelled, making his hand freeze. He wasn't real. "No more!" She screamed it at the top of her voice, louder than she'd ever yelled. She stared him down, not even having to raise a finger as she forced him onto his feet. She stepped closer, and closer, and closer, until she was staring down at him. "You won't hurt anyone anymore," her teeth clenched as she spat the words at him, her eyes alight with ferocious courage and maybe if the Winter Soldier had been real than he would have been shaking with fear because she wasn't AS09 anymore, though Artemis might not have known who she was, she definitely knew that she wasn't a weak innocent little child anymore.

She wasn't someone he could hurt anymore.

Raising up one hand, she clenched it tightly, the Winter Soldier beginning to fade away. It wasn't a bang, nor was it a whimper, it was a putting to rest. It was the darkness being overtaken by sunrise, by her light.

It wasn't just for Bucky, it was also for her, for Amelia Stark, for AS09 who'd suffered the most at the hands of her executioner, the Winter Soldier. It was the best sort of revenge, knowing that she'd fully rid that demon so it no longer weighed on hers and Bucky's shoulders, constantly threatening it's next attack. He was gone. Deleted. He would never come back. _It was over_.

She checked one more time, trying to hear an echo of the trigger words but there was nothing. There was still the screams, Artemis was saddened by them because they were something she'd never be able to take away. But it was a small comfort knowing that whilst there was darkness in his mind, there was also the light, there was the memories of glowing Adelaine, and Steve, and she was even sure that whilst passing through his stars she'd seen the memory of them two in the forest with her punching him in the face.

As her spirit inside of Bucky's mind closed her eyes, the Artemis in reality opened hers, and they connected with the metal-armed giant's. He was crying, tears were running from red eyes, yet he was smiling.

 _He was a free man._

"T-Thank you." Bucky didn't know how to describe it, he didn't know how he could know for sure that the programming wasn't in his head anymore, but he did know. Somehow he did know. Maybe it was because his body just felt lighter, his shoulder where the arm had been ripped off not hurting for the first time in _years_.

"I'm going to do something else now, and it will be weird for the both of us this time." Artemis didn't wait for him to give her the go ahead as she stretched out her arms and wrapped them around his shoulders, pulling him close to her so that she could hug him. Him, James Buchanan Barnes. The metal-armed giant was frozen for a moment, his mouth hanging slightly open as he felt the warmth of her embrace surround him. Her, the girl he'd hurt more than anyone else. Slowly, unsurely, he hugged her back. His arms gradually tightened as he shut his mouth and closed his eyes, for the first time in his life allowing some of the guilt he harboured to wash away in the tide of forgiveness that she was sharing with him.

Neither of them said a word, or shed any of the tears that wanted to leave their eyes. It wasn't a moment tears were meant for, it was a happy moment, a golden moment in each of their lives, a moment that would become a beaming star inside their memories. They were both free of the Winter Soldier, finally.

"You can come out now," Bucky suddenly called out just as the two were breaking up their hug, Artemis looked up in confusion as she wiped away her tears and saw that the metal-armed giant was staring over towards the doorway. The brunette turned that way as well, and saw a bashful strawberry blonde stepping into the room. She made a face, as though she felt guilty but didn't really feel all that bad.

"Sorry, I'm really nosey," she said as an apology to Artemis though all of her attention was on Bucky, it almost looked like she could see the difference as well as she rushed over, immediately wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him against her. They were always touching when they were around each other, Artemis had noticed that the most. Sometimes it felt a little uncomfortable, but in that moment, it was nice. When she'd hugged Bucky, Artemis could tell that he didn't touch people often, so it was good to see he could get that comfort from Addy. "How are you feeling?" The strawberry blonde asked Bucky, her smile calming slightly as she stroked a hand against his cheek, wiping away some tears.

"Better. A lot better." It wasn't like before, he wasn't just using the word 'better' as a placeholder. No, in that moment, he truly was _better_.

"Thank you for this Amelia," Addy thanked her new friend, and Artemis just shrugged her shoulders, but whether she'd accept it or not, Adelaine was truly grateful. All she'd expected was Artemis to let Bucky know he was off the hook, she hadn't expected her to actually fix the one thing that was making him hold back, not just in their relationship, but in life. It was a miracle. To Adelaine, Amelia Stark was a miracle.

"It's really no problem," Artemis eventually said, turning back around to face the door, bending her head slightly in the hopes of seeing another blond appear. He didn't. "where did Steve go?"

Addy's perpetual smile turned bitter. "He left. He probably had something to do," everyone in that room knew she was just making up some excuse.

"Or something to avoid," Artemis quipped, looking dejected for a second before she slipped her mask back on. It was a smile, not as bright as Addy's, but it was the kind of smile meant to just get her through situations, not actually have meaning. "Anyway, I'll leave you two to it. See you at dinner?"

"Definitely," Addy agreed, beginning to look more and more forward to the soiree and what would happen during it. Bucky and Addy watched Artemis leave and as soon as she was sure the brunette was out of earshot, the strawberry blonde turned to her fiance. "You know how we used to set up Steve all the time?"

"Yeah…"

"I think we need to do it again." The smile grew, stretching wider at the ends, her teeth being put on display. It was a mischievous smile, one of Bucky's favourites.

"I'm way ahead of you," he replied, and then, much to Addy's surprise, he swung his arm around her back and pushed his lips against hers, his large body pushing on hers and making her dip backwards slightly, which is probably why he'd put his arm there.

When he pulled away, Addy was grinning madly, and she did nothing to hide the blush popping up on her plump cheeks. "What was that for?"

Bucky just shrugged his shoulders, his lips lifting to the side in a boyish smirk that was sweetened by the way he looked towards her. "I just love you, a lot," he phrased, only ever able to say such cheesy stuff to her when they were alone.

She sharpened her eyes, but her glare was made useless by that ever-present grin of hers, "you're such a meatball."

* * *

 **A/N: I need to do a HUGE shoutout to Pitspee here because she thought up the idea of Amelia delving into Bucky's mind and getting rid of the Winter Soldier, it was a beautiful idea and I actually cried when writing it because it's just such a huge deal for the both of them and I'm so sappy. Thank you to Pitspee, you've been brilliant ^^**

 **To RavagerRoseWilson, you're just in luck, there's a lot of Addy in this chapter and the next one ^^ I'm so glad you like her! I've been doing alright, struggling with writing but that's cause I'm not a huge fan of writing big action chapters and the next two (114 and 115) I've got to write are BIG action chapters lol. I hope you've been doing okay too!**

 **To Idontknoworcareanymore, (same, with that username) Glad you liked the chapter! And it's okay, I'm glad you find her annoying because that means she's realistic ;) It's the same way I take hate towards Amelia's somewhat dramatic personality as a compliment, most of the time, some people take it a little far but you supplied reasons and I respect you're opinion.**

 **To cabrera1234, I'm planning on including Tony's POV in my Peter Parker story where he'll think about his sister, I haven't planned it thoroughly but I think rn he's just glad that she's far away from any sort of battle cause y'know he's a protective big bro. Hope that answered your question :)**

 **To shugokage, it was a spur of the moment idea that I loved immediately, I only wish that I could have done more with Artemis' part but she wouldn't have wanted to step on Steve's toes whilst he's already mad at her. Glad you liked the chapter!**

 **To AngelElmarlienHenning, glad you liked the chapter and Addy, I'm so happy to hear that people actually like her, of course this doesn't really go in depth about her character but writing these moments with her and Bucky is making me really excited to write the Bucky fanfiction. And thank you for believing in me, means a lot!**

 **To Guest, which part?**

 **To Pitspee, I'm so nervous to hear what you thought of this chapter, again, thank you so much for giving me the idea! And I'm not the biggest fan of Harry Potter, but I did watch it as a kid cause I had a crush on Fred Weasley (idek) so I sort of know what you're referencing. Who's Ron though? Is Bucky Ron? I just assumed Addy was Hermione then. And Mystique has grown on me thanks to the new movies, I didn't pay much attention to her character in the original X-Men cause her character was basically summed up 'in love with magneto and does what he says' which didn't really interest me, but then the newer ones with Jennifer her character has become just a bit… meh. And ohhhhh I like that idea, A Stark and a Captain. Depend on the part she plays, I'll definitely try and include that. And oh man, jealous Steve, that would be so perfect ahaha!**

 **To LoveFiction2018, glad to hear!**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, hell nah, angry Steve for the win! The dinner scene is a lot of things tbh, I'm really happy with how it came out though. I'm working on it currently, I barely have time for this story so I don't want to add posting Bones Becoming Flowers to my list. I've been planning bits and pieces and after my hiatus I'm going to start working on it as intensely as I do this story ^^ It should be out either November or, at the very latest, December.**

 **To SnowPaws101, ahaha I'm so glad you get this excited over my work, it's an honour. And yeah, it's something we're sort of planning right now, we're both busy with our stories and other stuff atm though but I've said I'm going to try and get three written through October. And yay, I'm happy to hear you've read her work, it's amazing and she's an amazing human being as well. And you always end your reviews perfectly don't worry.**

 **To Assbitch67, I know surprising right? As surpising as this one. Remember to breath amongst all that shook you're feeling! I'm just sort of trying to write as much as I can by this point, and once I'm done, expect one hell of a message. I'm still missing you and find myself wanting to message you about the most trivial things, I need my Mexican Twin to laugh at my stupid jokes man. Glad you like Addy, I'll definitely want you to help me brainstorm for Bones Becoming Flowers once I've finished this. WE'LL TALK SOON I PROMISE!**

 **To Sam0728, and in this chapter a not so awkward Bucky/Amelia reunion, even more yay!**

 **And a big thanks to everyone that read the chapter!**


	115. Chapter One Hundred and Nine

**CHAPTER ONE-HUNDRED AND NINE**

* * *

"In a person's lifetime there may be not more than half a dozen occasions that he can look back to in the certain knowledge that right then, at that moment, there was room for nothing but happiness in his heart."

― **Ernestine Gilbreth Carey**

* * *

Artemis had a couple of hours before the meal started with the rest of the team so she tried to disappear in the hopes that if they didn't find her then they'd just have the meal and maybe tell her off when she did eventually come out of the shadows.

Her plan didn't work out. She'd underestimated the amount of guards that wandered the halls of T'Challa's home and how well they were at communicating with one another. When it came time to collect the guests for dinner, not even the darkly lit corner in the supply closet-like room was safe for Artemis. A very unamused guard found the brunette crouched and wide-eyed. The guard didn't bother questioning her, and Artemis didn't bother trying to explain, they both simply accepted what had occured and journeyed to the dining hall.

The brunette walked behind the stone-faced guard, keeping her head down so her brown hair fell in front of her face and hid the blush she was doing her best to get rid of.

The only time she looked up was when she heard two familiar voices belonging to Rhodey and Bruce. She also noticed that they were about to reach a door leading into the dining room, Artemis able to see a long rectangular table being decorated by an array of food that she found to be quite aesthetically pleasing.

She moved to stand with her two friends, craving the company of her friends in the hopes they'd ease some of her anxiety. Before she greeted them, she made sure to thank her guide, she simply nodded back to Artemis and then proceeded to enter the dining room. The brunette let out a breath of relief, glad that the guard hadn't mentioned where she'd found her, though Artemis knew she'd probably tell her friends the absurd story.

As she stepped closer to her friends, they both turned around to welcome her, Rhodey quite visibly looking her up and down. "Wait, that's what you're going to wear? We're at a palace having dinner with a king and you're dressed like that?"

"I… I didn't bring any other clothes." Rhodey's statement had her looking down at the outfit she was dressed in. It was her usual ensemble, a dark grey vest, skinny jeans, black combat boots and her leather jacket. She tugged down on the leather jacket as she looked over to Rhodey with a pout curving her lips downward. "Is this offensive?"

Bruce stepped forward into the conversation, stepping between the two Avengers, raising up both of his hands. One was open palmed as a gesture for Artemis to calm down whilst the other was pointing an accusing finger towards Rhodey. "Oh no, no, don't try and trick her like you did me."

Artemis' eyebrows drew together, "wait, what happened?"

"Nothing." Bruce answered strictly, but Artemis didn't believe him. Instead, she only became more curious because it definitely didn't seem like nothing, especially not to Rhodey who was smiling widely and snickering inwardly.

"Okay then," she responded slowly, knowing better than to push for whatever was irritating Bruce, the brunette didn't want to accidentally trigger the Hulk. The brunette looked over to the doorway to the dining room once more, and waved her hand over to it, "let's just go and get this over with."

"Wow, you sure sound excited," Rhodey noted, eyeing her suspiciously as they all began to step forward towards the dining room.

"Yeah," Artemis sighed, "I'm just not really thrilled at the prospect of being in a room with Steve." It wasn't really Steve that she wasn't looking forward to, it was the space he was putting between them and the silence of their conversation that he wouldn't allow them to have. Even if everyone was having a conversation during that meal, all she'd be able to hear was the silence between them.

Bruce stepped closer so he was standing beside Artemis, "right, I, uh, I'm sorry about what, uh, happened between you two," he stated, waving his hands around as he spoke and his nerves seemingly became more frazzled once Artemis turned to face him, confused by his sincerity. He just hoped he wasn't speaking out of turn. "From what I remember the two of you were pretty close, it's a shame that things had to end so badly."

It felt like she was looking at the floors of Wakanda more than she was appreciating the rest of it. "Yeah," it was a shame, she'd been feeling more and more like that was the case. Then every time she felt that, every time she started to yearn for her soldier, she'd remind herself _why_ things had ended so badly.

Gran had always said that she'd met her lover at the wrong time, and that if they were brought back together after healing and confronting the demons that drove them apart, then she knew they would have been able to work it out. Artemis wasn't sure she and Steve would be afforded the same luxury from fate.

"Hello, Queen of Hell," the King of Wakanda greeted her as the group entered the dining hall.

"Hello, King of Wakanda," she greeted back, proceeding to eye the surrounding guards, "can I hug you or am I going to get a spear in my face again?"

T'Challa let out a low chuckle, "you're fine."

Once Artemis had confirmation she took another step closer and the two embraced in a friendly hug. It was a good friendship what Artemis and T'Challa had, even though they'd spent a great deal of time apart, the situations that had brought them together ensured that their relationship would be everlasting.

After a moment the two pulled apart and Artemis turned to the food set out on the long table, gesturing towards it. "Wow, this spread looks amazing." It was very colourful and clearly constructed so it looked both eye-catching and delicious. "I don't even know what half of these foods are."

"If you can't find anything you like then, please, feel free to go into the kitchen and order something from my chefs," T'Challa offered, pointing towards two double doors at the end of the room which she suspected would lead her into the kitchen that she admitted she was very curious about.

"You don't want to be offering her full advantage of your kitchen, she'll eat everything in there and leave a trail of flour behind," Sam entered the dining room with a wide, cheeky, smile filling up his face. Behind him trailed Steve accompanied by Addy and Bucky who walked in holding hands, standing as close as they possibly could together.

Artemis did her best to avoid looking Steve in the eye, not sure if she was more scared of seeing the emotions being held in his eyes, or him seeing hers. Instead she looked at Sam and dramatically rolled her eyes, "oh come on Sam, that was, _one_ time."

As more time passed, more people arrived. Everyone greeted each other, except for Steve and Artemis of course who just did their best to stay at opposite sides of the room. T'Challa took his prideful place at the head of the table whilst everyone arranged their own seats at the table. Addy chose to sit next to T'Challa on the right side of the table and immediately she patted the seat next to her for Steve to sit down, he did, not realising his friend had just trapped him as across from him Artemis was already seated. Next to Steve was Natasha, then Sam, then Rhodey, and Shuri sat in the space next to him after arriving very last minute. On the left side sat Bucky, Artemis, Bruce, Vision and Wanda.

The meal started quickly once everyone was properly settled. Artemis instantly consuming what was on her plate before people had even begun to pick up their knives and forks. She was absolutely brimming with delight as all the new and foreign tastes filled her palette, wiping away the awful tang gas station food had left. She earnt a few looks, Okoye - who was stood at the door on guard beside the woman who had picked Artemis out of the supply closet - had stared at the brunette with both wonder and a little disgust, meanwhile T'Challa was shaking his head slightly because really he wasn't surprised at the vigor she was showing towards the food.

And then there was Steve. The soldier, who had been doing so much to avoid looking at her, couldn't take his eyes away from her beastly figure sucking in the food like a black hole and there was a small smile on his lips. Her weird and theatrical behaviour somehow charming and it reminded him of better times. Her, throwing flour everywhere in an attempt to drown her pancake mix because she believed that the more there was, the better the food would taste.

All the dinner guests managed to move on from the sight of Artemis stuffing her face and they enjoyed their own meals, most of them experiencing the Wakandan cuisine for the first time. It was definitely interesting. Brimming with spices that the Americans of the group weren't really aware of seen as spices were usually ignored when it came to their own meals.

It was difficult for anyone to truly enjoy the meal and company though, as the upcoming battle weighed heavily on all of their minds. It wasn't long until someone brought it up in conversation. "So what exactly are we dealing with?" Bucky asked, curious for two reasons: It would be his first proper battle since rescuing Addy, and he needed to learn what threat he had to keep away from his girl.

"He's called Thanos," Bruce said, voice turning grave and his eyes darkening as the memories of his few moments facing the large purple giant resurfaced once again, "and trust me when I say he's not going to be easy. He's an intergalactic war tyrant, he goes from galaxy to galaxy destroying worlds and he doesn't do it all on his own, he has the universe's biggest army. Do you all remember Loki, Thor's brother that attacked New York?"

"Who doesn't?" Sam scoffed as he put down his fork, most of the table having already stopped eating once the conversation turned onto something serious.

"What about him?" Natasha asked, wishing that she could have reached out to take Bruce's hand and offer any sort of comfort that would help ease his pain.

"Thanos was the one who sent Loki to attack Earth," Bruce revealed.

The room fell silent for a moment as everyone remembered what happened in New York. The Chitauri army. The buildings raining down from the sky due to the terrifying alien whale-like creatures, Leviathans. The screams that filled up every news channel reporting on the ruination happening. Like Sam had stated, it was very hard to forget. The memories struck fear in everyone. Memories that were still locked away somewhere in Artemis' brain and she did her best not to get frustrated that she still couldn't remember the battle of New York, nor the first time she'd met Steve.

Artemis could see it clearly in the way all their eyes widened slightly. All except for Bucky and Addy who were looking curiously at everyone's faces, their friends expressions enough to make the couple fear whatever was coming.

It wasn't just that though, Artemis hated to be the bearer of bad news, but she felt - as the only one who had any idea of Thanos' whereabouts and how close he was to his target - that it was her duty to make sure everyone understood what they'd be facing soon. She'd hoped to talk about it all first to Steve but because he'd avoided her she'd never been given the chance.

"This is bigger than just an army though," she revealed before shoving another piece of fruit into her mouth, concentrating more on the taste than the way everyone at the table turned to stare at her.

"What do you mean?" Addy asked, not sure if she really wanted to know.

"Thanos is collecting all six Infinity Stones," Bruce explained for Artemis as she chewed on her food, able to guess that that had been what the brunette was referring to.

"And what happens if he gets all six of these 'Infinity Stones'?" Addy continued to investigate.

"We don't know yet, we just know his mission." There was something in Artemis' tone, like she was being haunted by something. Steve seemed to be the only one to pick up on it.

"Which is?"

"To wipe out half of all life in the Universe," Artemis answered grimly, putting her fork down as a sickening sensation filled her. The price of failure was big, and even more possible because she'd chosen to ignore the one chance at stopping Thanos that Gran had given her after learning the price of going down the recommended path.

"But we're going to make sure he doesn't have the chance to collect all of them," Steve inferred, his confidence loud and clear. The soldier looked around to meet everyone's eyes, so it seemed like the message had been for the entire team. Really, it was just meant for Artemis, a little bit of comfort he'd tried to muster for her.

"And how do you plan on doing that?" Shuri asled, curious to hear their plan whilst also trying to figure out a plot of her own.

"The stone in Vision's head," Bruce said, taking over once more which nobody minded as they were both scientists that had needed to discuss the matter anyway. Nat quite enjoyed watching Bruce talk about science, he never stuttered when he discussed science. "If we can get it out, we have a chance at being able to destroy it before Thanos is ever able to get it."

Steve turned around and leaned over in his seat so that he could face T'Challa, "we were hoping you could help us in removing the stone."

T'Challa immediately nodded, having already already agreed the moment Steve rang that he would put all his resources into stopping Thanos but he decided to reiterate it to everyone else in the room so they knew about his investment to the cause. "If it will help stop Thanos, then we will help in anyway we can."

"Does that mean I get to work more on the Android?" The teenage genius lifted up in her seat slightly as she eyed Vision with dazzled eyes, clearly already analysing him and trying to see into his head. From behind her, Okoye stepped forward, reaching out with a hand and flicking Shuri on the shoulder so she'd stop staring at Vision like he was a piece of new technology and not a sentient being. The teenage genius looked down bashfully, "sorry…"

"So how many stones does Thanos have?" Addy investigated more, the scientist part of herself wanting to gather as much information as she could.

"Two-"

"Three," Artemis corrected, once again finding herself being stared at by everyone at the table. "I saw it in one of my dream-visions. He has the Power Stone, the Space Stone, and the Reality Stone."

"And you didn't say anything?" Steve questioned, seemingly appalled. His gaze seemed to say otherwise but Artemis wasn't sure what to gather from it. Offense? Concern? Guilt?

She wanted to snap at him that he hadn't exactly made it easy to tell him about the dream, he'd spent the entire day avoiding her after all. Then she realised how hypocritical it would be if she yelled at him for avoiding her when she'd done the exact same thing over the span of the past two years.

"What use would telling you have done? Other than make everyone worry. Thanos may have three, but that's useless without the one _we_ have. We need to focus on the problem at hand before we focus solely on our enemy. Like Bruce said, he's a tyrant. He pilages and destroys planet like it's a sport. He plans to kill half of all life in order to bring order and balance to the Universe. If he is able to get all six, it's game over… for all of us."

"So here's to all of us here tonight," she continued, grabbing her glass of full-bodied wine, raising it up into the air and thankfully everyone followed the movement. "Let's hope that we're still here for tomorrow." Artemis looked around at them all, taking a second to fully take in the details of everyone's faces, committing them to memory. And she made sure to think of Tony as well, to send him her wishes. She knew that any one of them had the potential of falling in the oncoming battle. She stared at Steve for a second longer than the rest, and her heart all but stopped when just as she was about to look away, Steve looked at her too.

Neither of them looked away from one another as though they'd been caught in some sort of steel trap. All of their problems and grievances didn't seem so important in that moment of sobriety. When faced with the notion that either of them might not make it past the following day they were confronted by something else, a simple fact, that what was important wasn't the unsaid words and arguments from the past, it was them.

Them, in that moment, and the feelings that had standed the test of time. Miraculously growing even as they were apart. And perhaps if the two of them had not been in a room full of people they would have been doing a lot more than just staring at one another.

Around them, everyone drunk from their glasses, no one smiling. The mood was somber and silent, no one having any idea of a conversation topic because everything seemed suddenly taboo. They were about to face extinction, what use would jokes be in that situation? That's what most of them in that room believed. All for one, that person being the one who refused to let her smile disappear in any situation because sometimes that smile was the only thing capable of showing there was still some joy to be found in the world. That was what Adelaine knew.

"Speaking of toasts," Addy spoke up a few seconds after everyone had put down their glasses and allowed a silence to shroud them all as a suffocating blanket of ice. Everyone turned to face her, the glee in her tone feeling so out of place but she met all of their stares with a courageous - and equally as beautiful - smile. "Steve, have you prepared your best man speech?"

The soldier looked to the strawberry blonde with surprise replacing the relaxed expression he'd captured when staring at Artemis. It took him a moment to fully acknowledge what she'd even said, and when he did, Steve looked back down to the table almost timorously, avoiding Addy's curious gaze. "Yeah…"

"Liar," Bucky immediately responded with a short laugh, able to read his best friend like a book with pictures.

Steve glared at his best friend for outing him in front of the bride, proceeding to look at Addy with a puppy dog expression that might have been effective on Artemis but the strawberry blonde had stared at that expression from both her boys enough times that it's effects had become void. "I've been busy," Steve attempted to excuse.

But Addy just shook her head adamantly before beginning to wag her finger at him, "alien invasions are not a good enough reason to avoid writing your speech."

"But-"

"Don't fight her on it," Bucky guided his friend, voice turning low, "she has this thing about always being right."

"I heard that, James," Addy responded, tone threatening and just dark enough to make Bucky clamp his mouth shut and follow his own advice about not fighting against her.

"When's the wedding?" Wanda asked, doing her best not to snicker at the three feuding friends like the rest of the table had been doing. She'd gotten to know Addy pretty well when the strawberry blonde was taking them to the lab to get Vision's wound healed. They'd shared some small talk and Wanda had gathered that the scientist was a pretty positive person, the kind of positive that could actually become quite irritating in the wrong situation. That was not one of them.

"A few more weeks," Addy responded excitedly, bouncing in her seat slightly as she looked to her fiance lovingly. It was clear to everyone just how much the couple couldn't wait to become husband and wife, though it did have them wondering how long the two had been waiting to get married.

"I'm still the flower girl, right?" Shuri asked from the end of the table.

"Absolutely," Addy confirmed.

"Yes!" Shuri threw her fist up slightly, beginning to look almost as eager as the strawberry blonde was for the wedding. "I've always wanted to go to an American wedding."

"Seriously?" Artemis had become far too used to American culture that it had stopped seeming as interesting as it first had after she left Hydra and first entered the real world. The brunette hadn't even noticed her lost interest until that moment and it caused a slight tug on her heart, she missed enjoying new things and it truly was a testimony to how much she'd grown and developed.

"Well, that and Coachella," Shuri replied, "but somebody - brother - won't take me."

"Coachella?" The three World War II veterans at the top of the table echoed the same question, earning a laugh from the rest of the group.

"Right, I forgot you're all over the age of fifty," Rhodey commented.

"It's been like a senior citizen home around here, hasn't it?" Sam snickered from his seat, and though Artemis was the first to raise her hand, ready to use her powers on the pilot once more, Natasha ended up being the one to slap him on the back of his head.

"Natasha, you're invited to the wedding," Bucky announced gratefully, earning himself a glare back from Sam but the metal-armed giant stared back blankly, unaffected.

"Oh!" Addy suddenly yelled out, jumping up in her seat and resting on her knees so she towered above even Steve (like back in the good old days), everyone's attention was peaked and they were looking at her curiously awaiting what she had to say, though she only looked at Bucky first as she told him: "I just had an idea."

"Oh no," he mumbled under his breath, able to guess what was going through her mind.

The strawberry blonde's beaming smile persisted despite Bucky's comment. "Everyone is invited!" The expression on Addy's face in that moment reminded Artemis of a child who'd just had a giant chocolate cake dumped in front of them.

Bucky leaned forward in his seat closer towards his fiance. "Doll," he started sweetly, "we literally _just_ finished the seating arrangements and that was after the three weeks that you spent sorting out what flower arrangements you wanted."

"Yeah, but the seating arrangements are a piece of cake to fix," she waved her hand flippantly as she turned back to the audience that had been watching their discussion uncomfortably. Addy clapped her hands, as though by doing so she had wiped away any passing awkwardness. "Everyone, you are all cordially invited to the wedding of James Buchanan Barnes and Adelaine Evelyn Carbonell." She fell back in her seat looking quite pleased with herself after making the announcement.

"Well, I guess I'll be needing a date then," Natasha phrased coyly, looking over to Bruce.

"Uh, oh, I, uh," the scientist stuttered out, incapable of even forming words let alone finishing his sentence. In the end he just shut his mouth and looked away from everyone at the table, his skin a darker shade than what even Nat's hair had been.

After that conversation everyone moved on, the conversation on Thanos becoming lost and everyone, for one night, becoming spectacularly human. They talked about trivial things, Rhodey telling his tank story to Shuri and Okoye who didn't really laugh out loud at it. They were polite enough to give a little reaction though they'd both seen and heard much more impressive things seen as their king (Shuri's _brother_ ) was the Black Panther. Bruce talked about science with Shuri, discussing what they might be able to do with the Mind Stone and, of course, the teenage genius blew him away with her knowledge.

Natasha and Wanda were talking about how they could do their hair for the wedding, Wanda wondering if she should change her hair blonde like Natasha did but Vision immediately admonished the idea, saying that he loved Wanda the way she was. Wanda joked that it was unfair that he gets to change his appearance whenever he wanted whilst she had to stick with the same bland hair but Natasha and Artemis also agreed that the witch would look weird with any other hair colour.

Addy and Bucky were telling some stories about Steve during his younger years, giving the pilot a lot of fuel for later jokes which would all be at the soldier's expense. One particular story of Steve throwing up after going on a rollercoaster had the top part of the table guffawing, both T'Challa and Artemis tuning into the World War II veterans tales when they'd been in the middle of their own because of the boisterous laughter they'd been releasing.

As T'Challa began to recall the amusing tale of the first time he went to a theme park with his little sister, unbeknownst to everyone else, Addy and Bucky shared a look. It was time.

The strawberry blonde stood out of her chair and casually slipped onto her fiance's lap, facing Artemis and immediately catching her eyes so that she was trapped in a conversation with her. "Hope you don't mind me coming over," Addy said, turning slightly so she could face Bucky and slide a hand across his cheek, "there's only so long I can stay away from my favourite meatball."

"I'm hurt, Addy," Steve joked from across the table, apparently not so affronted by how touchy-feely the couple were, meanwhile Artemis was struggling with looking at either Bucky and Addy, wondering in the back of her mind if she was that bad when dating Steve.

"Sorry," Addy responded to Steve though there was no heart put into her statement. The strawberry blonde moved on clearly, facing Artemis once again, leaning forward and resting her hand on top of the brunette's leather clad shoulder. "Listen, I came here for another reason. I was hoping maybe you could come with me for a second. There's something really important I need to talk to you about."

"Oh, me?" Artemis questioned, not sure what she could do to help the strawberry blonde she'd known for less than a day.

"Yeah, it's something only you will understand," Addy pushed, and when Artemis still looked precautious the strawberry blonde turned her voice even sweeter. "Please? I'll try not to keep you too long." She'd already started to stand up, moving her hand down Artemis' arm and beginning to pull on the limb.

"Yeah, um, okay," Artemis stood up as well, joining Addy's side, it wasn't like she'd really had any other option.

"Great, be right back boys," Addy cheered, rushing out her words so that she could pull the brunette over to the doorway, the two exiting the dining room with Addy mostly guiding their path.

Steve eyed them with a worried gaze before turning back to Bucky who met his gaze, "what does she need Amelia for?"

"Who knows what goes through that girls head half the time," Bucky shrugged before standing up and walking over to his friend and clapping the soldier on his shoulder, "listen, buddy-"

"Since when did you call me buddy?" Steve asked, his suspicions towards the metal-armed giant becoming very clear.

Bucky tried to hide his duress, knowing that the behaviour he was displaying wasn't exactly normal. "What would you prefer, comrade? Best pal?"

"Steve is good," he answered shortly.

"Okay, _Steve_ ," Bucky cleared his throat to try and make the awkward lilt in his voice disappear, "can you follow me for a second? I have something important to show you, for the wedding." It used to be a lot easier to fool Steve, Bucky recalled. But Steve was already suspicious and Bucky was still trying to remember how he used to do it. He supposed his old self was a lot more charming, and that wasn't just with the dames.

"Okay," Steve agreed, though his voice made it sound like he was regretting the decision as he agreed to it. Bucky decided to not push him any more than that and stood up. Steve thankfully followed him out the doorway and down the hall. They managed to make it down five hallways before Steve couldn't resist asking another question, the stilted behaviour of his friend questionable to say the least. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, you?" Bucky visibly cringed at the nervous crack in his voice but thankfully he was walking in front of Steve, so his friend didn't see the curdling expression on his face.

"I'm doing okay." Steve was being nice. It was clear that his friend was only following him to be nice and not because Bucky had charmed him. "I'm starting to get a little concerned though, you haven't acted like this since-"

 _Since you used to set me up on dates_ , Bucky knew that that was what his friend was going to say so he abruptly threw out the first words that came to his head. "Do you think you'll talk to Amelia about the baby soon?"

Steve's eyes cast downward and Bucky knew the words he'd thrown out had been a mistake. It didn't matter though, they were closing in on Artemis' room that Addy had decided to be the trap location, and Bucky was sure that it would end up annoying Steve much more than Bucky's abrupt question had.

"I think it's best if I just leave her alone by this point," Steve eventually responded after taking his words into careful consideration.

"Interesting you should say that," Bucky mumbled as they continued down another hallway, walking beside an open doorway. Steve had just opened his mouth to ask Bucky what he meant but he wasn't given the chance to as his friend tackled his side, shoving him into the open doorway whilst keeping himself there.

Baffled, Steve looked up whilst on the floor, spotting two people he hadn't been expecting. Addy and Amelia.

"What-" Artemis started to ask what was happening when she became distracted by Addy rushing to get out of the room, leaving her behind. That's when Steve finally clicked onto what his two best friends were doing.

The door was shut as soon as Addy was outside and that's when Steve managed to get off the floor, rushing over to the door, banging his fist against it whilst trying to open it but Bucky was using his metal-arm to keep the door sealed shut, and to a lesser degree, Addy was there helping him. "Addy! Bucky! Let us out!"

"Not until you two start talking!" Addy yelled back from the otherside, "if you talk fast enough you might be out in time for dessert." The strawberry blonde added the last part of motivation mostly for Artemis.

After a few more bangs they heard a frustrated groan and what followed it was only silence. "We're going to hell," Bucky whispered, the couple still high-fiving over the success of the mission. "How long do you think we should stay here?"

"Until things either go really quiet, or really loud?"

* * *

 **A/N: A HUMUNGOUS THANK YOU TO ASSBITCH67 (ALLY) WHO HELPED ME WRITE THIS CHAPTER!**

 **Also, how you guys doing? Noticed yet that I've started doing an update every two days? Yup. Figured this might be more manageable, I'll probably go back up to one chapter a day once I've finished writing, unless I end up uploading all the chapters I've got prepared earlier before I manage to finish the last one. Which, fingers crossed, shouldn't happen.**

 **AND JUST IN CASE IT ISN'T CLEAR, Adelaine is Maria Stark's sister. I'm a tad worried about family stuff because my research hasn't revealed much on her past, but some lovely readers have sent me info that's been super useful (shoutout to Unajet).**

 **To Faora, she'll be tackling him next chapter don't worry, Addy and Bucky didn't give her a choice lol.**

 **To AngelElmarlienHenning, thank you and I'm glad you liked the goats part, they'll be introduced more in Bones Becoming Flowers**

 **To Sam0728, soon everyone will be happy! Then sad! Cause of the Snappening!**

 **To SnowPaws101, ahaha you used the word right dw and I'm glad you liked the last chapter, I hope this one was worth the wait! Well the oneshots that I'm doing with Assbitch67 are basically that, but they'll also include characters from her story 'MIGRAINE'. And I'd do more one-shots on my own with just Stevia but I want to work on other projects like Bones Becoming Flowers and my untitled Peter Parker project. I've enjoyed life pretty well, probably not to the fullest so I apologise about that, hope your days are going well!**

 **To RavagerRoseWilson, intense is always good, and tbh I enjoy writing the non-movie based chapters more as well. And oh my god, 'you also rock the action chapters' I really need to hear that right now because I'm trying to tackle these three-ish action chapters and I cry everytime I think about them lol, I just don't have much faith in my action scenes but thank you! Oh my god that's an adorable name, mines called Squidgy and she's a springer spaniel, basically the dog in the story lol.**

 **To Assbitch67, atom? Is that maracas I hear in the distance… oh no… the Mexican Autocorrect Bandit has struck again. DAMN YOU MAB! Anyway, thank you for reviewing and thank you for reading my story in the line to a haunted house lol, also when you say back in the day it hurts my heart because wow these characters really have grown so much and whoa I've written over a hundred chapters detailing their aging and developing and Amelia becoming a woman and I cry. I hope your stories going well btw.**

 **To LoveFiction2018, glad ya think so!**

 **To Pitspee, aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh I'm so glad to hear that you liked it! Seriously! It means so much to me! And now you've made it even more of a beautiful moment. And I totally agree, she is Steve's angel, it's one of the biggest points I try to drive home ^^ Steve is running away with a sort of good reason that you'll learn in the next chapter, another chapter I'm excited and nervous for everyone to read, including you. And idk if this is a spoiler but technically they didn't break up, fate broke them up.**

 **To shugokage, thank you so much! We don't really see Steve's reaction but he does learn about it and, as Pitspee stated, is even more convinced that she's an angel because she did already help give him more moments with Peggy.**

 **And a big thank you to all my readers for reading the chapter!**


	116. Chapter One Hundred and Ten

**CHAPTER ONE-HUNDRED AND TEN**

* * *

"In order to understand, I destroyed myself."

― **Fernando Pessoa**

* * *

Artemis watched Steve in silence, still slowly coming to terms with what was actually happening. The soldier - who in that moment was practically beating up her bedroom door - had seemed to coin onto what his friends had done whilst she was trying to connect Addy's abrupt escape from the room to the conversation they'd been having about wedding cakes. She'd been quite enjoying listing all of the things Addy could flavour her cake with.

The soldier let out a frustrated groan, allowing his fists to drop down limply at his side. Apparently giving up on trying to beat the door into submission and instead he walked over to her bed, collapsing onto it and putting his head in his hands. All Artemis could think was, _wow, he really can't even bare to be in the same room as me._

She was almost too afraid to speak. Too afraid to hear Steve's words, too afraid to hear their contents that would no doubt be ice that numb her throat and froze her veins, too afraid to hear her name passing through his lips, phrased like a dodged bullet. She was almost too afraid, almost.

The brunette had already decided before that she wouldn't avoid the conversation about their relationship and their unborn child because her life of always running away, avoiding things, had left her with nothing but more pain. And whether it was going to be a pleasurable conversation or not, they were owed closure. Closure which would help them move on. Separately, if that was what Steve truly wanted. She'd realised that the pair were trapped in some sort of purgatory after the moment they'd shared during the meal. Of course she didn't know what that look had meant to Steve, but to her it had meant they were still there, Amelia Stark and her soldier. The love was still there. Maybe that didn't mean anything, maybe after everything that love was null, or maybe Gran was right.

She wasn't expecting a relationship, that thought hadn't even crossed her mind, all that she'd been looking for was closure. Respite, the ability to breathe again, _closure_.

Still, it was an awkward topic of conversation to approach so at first the brunette rocked her body, picking at her nails. Her good old friend anxiety forced her to rehearse conversation starters and how they would go. When she reached the point of actually stating 'so, how about that Wakandan heat, huh?' Artemis decided to push her anxiety aside along with it's cringe-worthy prompts and focus on that moment in front of her instead.

She had to take in a long inhale of air, imagining in her mind that it was confidence that she was breathing in. Just as she opened her mouth though, Steve surprised her by speaking first. "I'm really sorry about this," the soldier apologised.

"Don't be, I can tell you didn't want this," Artemis responded, trying to sound casual though her words ended up coming out more bitter than anything else. She did her best to move on from it, gesturing with her hand towards the doorway that had been a formidable foe against the soldier previously.

He shrugged his shoulders whilst stroking his hands across his face, pausing on his beard that he ran his fingers through. "They'll leave eventually," he responded, "I guess all we can do is wait."

"Or we could do what they want and talk," she suggested bravely. Artemis wanted to hear more than anything the words he kept hidden in the folds of his heart, she wanted to open them up with the ease of unfolding paper, and she wanted to hear his thick voice recite all the words on that sheet so she could finally understand what his thoughts were and no longer have her mind be unkempt with all the words she was guessing he kept in the shadows, most of them cruel.

"What?" Steve looked towards her though he made sure not to look at her eyes, he always seemed to lose his self control when he did. If only he'd known what his avoidant gaze was doing to the brunette, how rejected it constantly made her feel.

"I don't know," it was Artemis' turn to shrug her shoulders as she moved closer to him, doing her best to push for the conversation as well as be in a position to stop Steve if he tried to make a break for the window. "I've been trying to talk to you about what happened for days but you've avoided me and I know it's not exactly a pleasant subject but, well, I believe it's a necessary subject."

She looked towards Steve who had kept silent, trying to read whatever thoughts were filling his mind through his body language. Whilst she was sat diagonal, half facing him, he was staring straight forward with his eyes attached to the chester drawers in front of them. She knew he wasn't just looking at the piece of furniture because it was more interesting than their conversation topic. His entire body was tense, muscles strict and bulging. The soldier's mouth was forced into a straight line, clamped shut, keeping in any words that he wanted to let loose.

Why? That's what Artemis truly wanted to know. Were those words really so cruel that he couldn't even bare to say them?

The most irritating game thing was that it was time for them to share those words, whether they were cruel or not. Addy and Bucky had given them that moment there to do exactly that, and Artemis wasn't sure if they'd ever get another moment because of Thanos. And if Steve wasn't going to take the plunge then she was going to have to. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you when I should have, I'm sorry that I waited so long and I'm sorry it all ended up as one big mess," she said it all through one long breath.

"This is why I was avoiding you," Steve huffed out, standing up and clenching his hands into fist. He was showing something in between frustration and anger, Artemis figured that meant that he hated her so much that her apologies were meaningless. Hatred, how had they reached that point in their relationship?

"You shouldn't have to apologise to me for what happened," Steve continued, making all of Artemis' self hatred musings come to an abrupt halt. Steve started to pace the room but halfway through his first step he seemed to decide against it and instead he turned to face her with his hands resting on his hips. He still couldn't look at her, but Artemis was about to learn that that wasn't because he hated _her_. "I'm the one that dragged you into a lifestyle you shouldn't have had to experience, not after Hydra. Everyone told me that and I was too proud to admit it was true. And then I left you, and now that I know I left you whilst you were pregnant…" His blue eyes rose to hers and all she saw was rainy days inside of them, he couldn't hold her gaze for long and when he did look away that time Artemis finally saw the shame he'd been harbouring for the past few days. "I'm the one who should be sorry."

Artemis had no words, her mouth was open but none of the words she'd prepared fit the situation that she was confronted by. It was like she'd been transported to another world because Steve didn't despise her like she'd convinced herself he had. He hated himself, and that was another problem. That was the last thing she'd wanted to happen, self-hatred far worse a fate than simply being angry at her, at least in Artemis' eyes.

Steve proceeded to walk back over to the bed and set himself down beside her, that time his upper body was fully facing her. "And I am sorry," he pushed, "I'm sorry; if I could change things I wouldn't think twice about it."

All that time and she'd thought he hated her, that he couldn't even stand to be near her, when really he was just trying to protect her from himself. She couldn't exactly blame him for such thinking when she'd avoided everyone. But he'd already suffered, hadn't he? That's what Nat had said. He'd already been through hell, so did that mean she'd only worsened things for him? He'd needed to know about Noah, sure. Either way, Artemis found herself suddenly needing to know what the soldier had endured during their time apart.

"Yesterday Natasha told me that I wasn't the only one that had been struggling over the past two years, what did she mean by that?" Her throat felt sore as she asked the question, maybe that was because it wasn't really what she wanted to say. She wanted to tell him that all was forgiven and that he didn't need to worry about whatever happened, but it didn't matter what she wanted because she'd only be saying that to comfort him, not because it was true.

They owed their child that never got to live more than that, they needed to face things head on and then work on moving on as stronger people, people that could actually be good parents. That was what Artemis was aiming for, and she would do all of that in Noah's honour.

Steve leant forward and put his hands together palm-to-palm, releasing a laugh that had no humour behind it, "for a secret spy, she's terrible at keeping things secret."

"She has good intentions," Artemis defended. She was right as well, it had been something she'd had to realise about Natasha quite early on in their friendship. She wasn't a good secret keeper, Nat could keep all the important things to herself - like Amelia's baby - but when it came to secrets that could be utilised to fix situations, or to help change someone's mind or opinion, then Natasha had no quarrel with using any piece of information she had even if it was given to her privately. Nat always used to do it whenever Steve and Amelia had spats, always sharing with the couple what they'd said about one another to make them realise how dumb their quarrel had been. Artemis had assumed that the issue Steve and herself were facing then was too large to be fixed by Nat's manipulation, but maybe not.

Steve began to tell his story with shaking hands and chapped lips, Artemis sat beside him with her hands resting on her lap. A space was kept between them.

"After I left you, I immediately regretted it and I immediately missed you. Everything about you, even the things I never noticed, like the sound of your breathing in our quiet moments, finding your hair in the randomest of places, especially on every item of clothing I owned." They both snorted at that, Artemis even able to crack a small smile, the humorous undertone didn't get to stay for long though. "And I hated myself so much, which is why I pushed to see you again a few days after what happened at the base, as always I didn't think about what that would do to you. I realised just how much of a monster I was after seeing you again. Even after hurting you, and the way I did it, I still believed that you'd forgive me and we'd go back to how everything was. I completely dismissed what I'd put you through.

"That hatred I felt towards myself, it hasn't left me since that day. I think it's because I never stopped loving you as well, and I'm not saying that to try and make you sympathise for me, I swear. But those two years taught me a lot about the man who I was and how far away I am from the man I want to be. I should have been there for you more, I should have stayed when you needed me and I should have given you the life you deserved because you _deserved_ it. I thought I needed to be a soldier, but I was so wrong, what I needed to be was yours.

"When Natasha said that I was struggling, it was an understatement. I'd changed, and not for the better. I isolated myself too, and some days I… well, let's just say that some days I was convinced the world would be better off without me. One day Nat came into my hotel room, she literally had to break in, and I guess I was a pretty big mess. I hadn't showered, I'd barely slept, barely ate. It's like I didn't know what to do with myself because the myself I was then wasn't someone I wanted to even exist, it was a me who'd lost his place on Earth, a me without _you_.

"Nat told me she'd found you and visited you, I suppose it was her way of trying to get me out of my room, because if you could get out of yours then why couldn't I? She'd made a big mistake by telling me that though. I'm ashamed to admit this, but I… that was my lowest point. I don't even remember it clearly, I just remember that I had Nat pinned to a wall and I was demanding that she give me your location. I didn't hurt her, but I scared her enough to get what I wanted. Please don't be mad at Nat for telling me, I didn't really give her a choice.

"I went and found you, I even saw you, you were walking down the beach with this old woman and I was so close to you, I was so close to running down and…" He raised his hand up in the air grasping at nothing but in his mind he was back on that greyscale beach, Amelia the most colourful thing there with her rich black hair dancing with the wind that carried with it all the oxygen in his lungs. She'd been there, in front of him, for the first time in a year, but just like the soldier had done on that day, he dropped his hand back down and closed his eyes, looking down to the floor. "Well, I don't really know what I would have done afterward. I realised something when I saw you though. You didn't look happy, you looked… sullen. Even though you were finally _free_ from me you still looked broken. And your words just echoed in my head over and over again, 'I'm hurt, and you put me here'. Then I thought about what I'd just done to Nat, and what I'd done to the team, and what I'd been doing to myself. All that pain I'd made. I was angry at myself, disappointed. But I didn't want to go back to that hotel room where I was letting my thoughts rot me away. You were doing something, you'd changed your identity and you were still surviving each day, so I decided to do the same thing, I decided I wanted to better myself. So, I did the only thing I could think of doing. I returned to Wakanda, told T'Challa that I wanted to become the man you always believed I was, and then I built a house."

"What?" Artemis questioned, eyes widening. He'd said it so simply, but the tremors cursing his voice spoke volumes for the torrents of emotions ruining his insides which is why that was the first time she spoke, too afraid that if she stopped him from ridding the weight then he'd crumble beneath it. But she was so shocked by the last thing he'd said that she couldn't help but have to check he'd actually even said it.

Steve smiled somberly, looking at her with wet, reddened eyes, "I built a farmhouse, for us. It's still there, waiting for a family. There's a patio and three bedrooms, I made sure the kitchen was big enough to cook in and that the children's bedrooms are far enough from ours that we'll be able to hear them but they won't be able to hear us, as long as we're super quiet. And I made this office, a sort of hobby room that we could have turned into a playroom for the kids but, I don't know, I though you could do with somewhere to escape if things got too much so I filled it with loads of stuff. A typewriter, a canvas stand with some supplies, an entire wall made of shelves filled with books that T'Challa kindly gave to us, I made sure to get some cooking books as well, managed to fill an entire shelf with them."

Steve almost looked proud of himself, that dazzling emotion being stunted by the reality of their relationship, but Artemis believe that the soldier should have been proud despite their relationship because he had literally made the perfect house, adding details she'd never mentioned before, thinking about what they'd need and even adding a few little surprises. She couldn't help but be shocked, and Steve saw that on her expression but he seemed to misunderstand why it was there.

"Don't worry, I know how things are between us now," his eyes glanced down to her ringless finger, the biggest testimony that he had for how Amelia felt towards him. "And I knew it then, so I built that house and then I left it. I went back to Natasha and Sam and Wanda, who all felt very abandoned. I had a lot of apologising to do, especially to Nat. But… I don't regret building that farmhouse, I think I needed to build it, because it's what I wanted. And I hate that it took me losing you, to realise all of that. I thought that if I saw you again that I could show you that I choose you, and that I'm done being Captain America because all I wanted- no, all I want, is you," his tone of voice had almost taken a hopeful turn for a moment, the quaking fading as Amelia met his gaze. It didn't last long.

"Then I finally saw you again, and it almost felt like you found me. But then I saw you with that Jonathan guy," he hated how the name had already been ingrained in his head, building more blood shaded resentment than even Thanos did.

"And then you told me about the baby. _Our baby_ , that died because… because I-" he couldn't finish his sentence, his words being broken apart by sobs as he tried his best to keep the tears at bay but he'd been holding it together for so long, and he just couldn't do it anymore. The tears flew freely, crashing down his cheeks like the bombs German's had once dropped from the sky. Finally, he managed to spit out his words, "because I couldn't even protect the most important person in my life, _from me_."

There was something about seeing Steve crying, speaking with such venomous hostility towards himself, that triggered something in Artemis too and despite the calm exterior she'd been maintaining mostly for her soldier throughout his tale, she found tears beginning to fall out of her own eyes. She didn't bother wiping them away. She wanted to cry with him. "It wasn't entirely your fault," she whimpered, despite the wobbling in her tone, the brunette's honesty was clear, "I put myself at risk because I blindly followed you, I should have cared more about our baby but I didn't."

"But I put you in those positions, I knew you'd follow me wherever I went and I took advantage of that. Tony had told me so many times that I wasn't giving you the life you wanted or needed and I just ignored him because I thought 'the mission' was the most important thing. But it wasn't. _You were_. You are more important. And if I'd only seen that before…" He could barely speak anymore as fat tears flourished down his cheeks, the soldier tried to wipe them away, his hand curling into a fist. "I should have done more," he whimpered pathetically.

Amelia couldn't take it anymore, she shuffled closer towards him and took his hand into hers, "we both should have."

"And even then, I still don't think it would have been the right time. That's just the luck of the universe. Sometimes you meet the right person, but it's at the wrong time." She wasn't saying that they could become anything, but she was saying that their love had been real and valid and that it always would be.

"But that lie, even though we'd promised- I still- I still lied to you," he argued, another loud sob tearing through his body but to Artemis it was the sound of hearts breaking into two.

"I know," she rubbed her finger across his hand, the only offer of comfort she could think to give him because despite wanting to calm him down, she couldn't tell him that him lying to her was okay. He wouldn't learn anything that way.

"You should be more angry at me," he asserted, nodding his head stiffly.

"I'm not angry, I was never angry, I was hurt," she explained, her voice tremulous but still so much calmer than what Steve was giving, the brunette felt almost like she needed to be calm for him, a rock for him. "But after two years, I learnt to understand why you didn't tell me. You were just trying to protect me, you went the completely wrong way about it, but I can see why you didn't tell me."

"That shouldn't matter," he mumbled, completely defeated, head downcast so he could try and keep the tears away from her because his emotions weren't Amelia's to carry. Not anymore.

It was horrible, seeing her soldier in that state, but Artemis refused to give him sympathy. If she really wanted things to change than she needed to make sure he heard her truth loud and clear. "It hurts what you did, Steve, everytime I think of that broken promise I get a little stabby feeling in my heart. But that's why we needed this time apart, to change, to become the people we need to be for ourselves and for each other, the kind of people that don't take promises so lightly anymore."

"I'm sorry," he sniffled, only ever capable of showing such a weakened state to Amelia.

"Steve, look me at me." It became clear that he'd stopped being able to hear both her and reason beneath the sound of his sobbings and all that screeching self-loathing overflowing him like an overfilled kettle. She took her hand out of his and placed both of her hands on his cheeks, but he didn't move an inch. "Please, just look at me," she continued to beg and just like before they'd split up, the soldier found himself weak at the soft tone she'd used. He raised his head cautiously, not meeting her eyes at first as he was scared of her reaction.

When Steve did eventually meet her eyes, he was stunned by the love filling them the same way tears filled his.

The one thing, possibly the biggest thing, that Artemis had learned from her two years separated from society was that the world was cruel. Even though it felt like her life had ended, the sun still rose, caterpillars still turned to butterflies, babies were still born, people still got married, hot chocolates were still made, life continued on without any care about her.

And another thing, possibly the most important thing, that Artemis had learned was the world was wonderful. Even if a person's entire life fell apart, the world continued moving on, continued running, telling that person even if it felt like there was nothing left to live for, _there was_. The world had kept itself running so that that person can one day open their eyes and see that there was still a future. Still sunrises, still sunsets, still butterflies, still life, still lives, still hot chocolates, still _a future._

And that's why Amelia was able to say her following words to Steve. After two years of filling her mind with torment, after twenty-five years of always blaming herself and falling apart over and over again, she finally had the courage to say: "it's okay."

" _It's okay now_ ," she repeated her words once more as she pulled Steve towards her, hugging him as tightly as she possibly could and repeating that he was okay, not caring if the words became dull background noise to him in the end because they were words both of them needed to hear. Steve had tormented himself as well, over the past two years he'd had the guilt of their splintered relationship stabbing into him like a thorn crown, and in that moment he was also victim to the news of their baby. He was Artemis a year ago, and just like Gran had been there for her, the brunette was determined to help him every step of the way. And she was going to start their path by telling him that it was okay. They were okay. And he would be too.

Of course her words weren't some miracle cure, nothing ever was, but those words were a step in the right direction for the both of them.

Steve accepted her hug, and he slowly accepted her words, that they were okay. And that's all he'd wanted to hear, for the past two years, those words had drawn from him more desperation than any human would be able to muster. Larger than any mountain, more powerful than any lightning storm. Maybe they were hugging for seconds, maybe it was for minutes. All Steve knew was that at some point, he'd shuffled to look up, wanting nothing more than to stare into her black eyes that portrayed his whole world in them.

And he'd seen her eyes, but then he'd also seen her lips, and Amelia had seen his too. And they were so close, the magnets in their soul finally close enough that even if they'd wanted something different - which they hadn't - they couldn't fight against it as their bodies drew even closer, their lips being pulled closer and closer and closer.

Fireworks. No, there were sparks, a million of them, flying from their bodies and in their bodies, making every inch of them tingle. It was more hazardous than any firework, more powerful. It took their breaths away and slipped life into their bodies again for the first time for two years. Their lips danced together, a dance that could never have been forgotten. It was amazing and terrifying and glorious and had both of them trembling. It was messy, and desperate, and slow and soft. It brought peace to their minds and chaos to their hearts and oh god neither of them wanted to pull away. If they died in that moment neither would have any regrets.

"Wait," Amelia abruptly halted the kiss, able to pull away only because she'd had a sudden jolt of curiousness, "hold on a second, who's Jonathan?"

Steve was staring at her with parted, swollen, lips and Artemis hated how kissable he looked because she wanted to know what he was talking about, yet she was being hypnotised, her mind losing focus on whatever question she'd asked and concentrating only on kissing him again. But then he was speaking, and she needed to pretend like she was paying attention to his words. "That guy at the train station, Wanda said-"

"I'd literally just met him that night," she explained hastily, huskily, rubbing her lips across his. "There- There hasn't been anyone else for me."

"Me neither."

Artemis swallowed hard, his words had made her throat numb but it felt more pleasurable than she'd expected. She didn't know what else to say, only what actions she needed to do. The brunette pushed her way forward so that she was on top of his lap, straddling him. Their lips connect for a short moment, that bursting sensation vibrating their bones and making their minds blister with hot white, all thoughts fogged. But there was one question left, one question that had to be asked.

"What does this mean, Steve?" She asked, lips still attached to his as she mumbled out the question quietly, the words feeling small in the large room crowded only by the adoration the pair had for each other.

"It doesn't have to mean anything, not right now," Steve managed to give an answer farely quickly, and it's contents shocked them both, because neither of them were really those sort of people, but something without life-changing meaning was exactly what they'd needed then.

And to Artemis' surprise, despite being the type of person who constantly feels the need for organization, who hates messy situations and unknowns, that answer was the best thing she'd heard all day.

They attached their lips together once more, of course they did, they never wanted them to be unattached.

When had Steve taken his shirt off? She had no idea, all she knew was that her fingers were drawing down his muscled chest and stomach, memorising every crease each muscle made whilst her eyes remained shut. There was too much going on, her senses were being overloaded, closing her eyes was the only way she was able to keep herself focused on making up for all the time they hadn't been kissing or else she'd become too distracted by the blue in his eyes. She could hear his breathing, and she imagined each heavy and rushed exhale as a drum beat, the soundtrack to their heated session.

Whilst his muscles were fun and she'd definitely missed them, she was saving the best for last, like dessert is for any meal. Artemis wanted to feel his beards. She raised her hands slowly, tentatively, skimming his cheekbones as she went up to his hair and tugged on the blonde threads, knowing that it was something Steve enjoyed. She was given a satisfactory growl in response. Once she was sure he'd had his moment, she rewarded herself by finally allowing her hands to slip onto his cheeks, feeling the perfect hairs tickle her palm. It had taken her years to get it, but finally, Steve Roger's had grown a beard and it was _godly_.

Steve started growling at her once more, and it was strange how Artemis still understood what he was saying, still understood their language that she hadn't spoken in over two years. Slowly, mostly because she didn't want to, she pulled her hands away from the glorious beard and began to take her leather jacket off, Steve's lips traveling down to her neck for only a short tantalising moment before she proceeded to take her shirt off, dropping it on the floor. With a smirk, she put the leather jacket back on.

The soldier allowed himself one moment of respite, taking in the wonderful woman in front of him, the goddess with stars in her eyes and constellations all over her body. Artemis almost let out a laugh as he held her back and took his time analyzing her with hooded eyes. She noticed though, that his hands seemed to tighten when he looked at her collarbones, eyes widening.

"What?" She looked down too, wondering what he had seen that was so shocking it had interrupted their moment, but all that was there was a necklace with a ring hanging off of it.

Oh.

It was _the ring_. The ring Steve had given her, the ring he'd told her to keep on so that he'd know that a part of her was still thinking about him, that a part of him still had a place in her life, in her heart. He did. He always did. He always would.

She leans down once more, grabbing the sides of his heads so she could press another kiss against his lips. There was nothing desperate about that one. It was a simple one, like the ring. It was simple, but it spoke volumes louder than anything in existence.

Steve Rogers would always have a place in her heart, that's what she told him through that kiss.

And he heard her words, he heard them loud and clear, he let them fill up his heart until it was ready to burst. The soldier wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her firmly against his body, turning them around on the bed and falling downward so that she laid beneath him. He showered her, his girl, in hurricane rains of undistracted attention. Bit her neck and kissed her mouth deeply and unexpectedly. Consumed her. Teased her. He was gentle and he was hard. He made a Universe out of her.

At some point through that long night, Steve found himself moaning out, "Amelia." The name passed through his lips like poetry, and the brunette never bothered to correct him.

* * *

 **A/N: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, okay, okay, I don't know how to feel about this chapter, there's so much to it! I just hope that y'all like it, because I'm definitely a big fan. I once again decided against writing smut though because it is just uncomfortable for me, I'm very sorry and hope that hasn't bothered anyone.**

 **To Guest, it sure would be interesting if she saw the red skull in one of her dreams, it sure would.**

 **To Pitspee, of course! Food was Amelia's second love, the first of course being Steve ;) (and his ass) And yes they are, Adelaine does know but she's still trying to figure out how to approach the subject and I suppose technically I am too because I haven't figured out when she's going to do it lol. And I don't know if you'd like it, I feel like you would have cause yay Steve but idk. Ahaha oh man, I wrote his reaction yesterday, twas fun, Steve definitely isn't holding back anymore. Oh man, this 'Art' pun, what have I done?**

 **To d'elfe, a lot of talking as well, hope you enjoyed it!**

 **To Guest #2, 'the old lockeroony' had me laughing, it is a bit of a cliche isn't it? Oh well, cliches are good. And yay! I love the new Amelia too, she's so much more fun to write, and I'm super happy to see that you recognise all that progress in her. And the name thing annoys me too, but she's never really been able to find a name to stick to, she will one day.**

 **To kuppcake, glad to hear, I hope you liked the conclusion of Addy and Bucky's little trap :)**

 **To SnowPaws101, ahaha people in relationships don't talk anymore? Wtf? The age of technology I suppose, it writes everything you want to say in a couple of emoji's. And it's cool, I haven't done a big announcement for it yet so don't worry. And no, reader's advice's are always helpful, plus I'm gonna try and fit in a jealous Steve moment for you seen as you requested it. Though I think we've already got a scene with a very very jealous Amelia planned which might come first. Never figured out what you forgot, huh? And I don't have Columbus day! I've no idea what it is! I'm really sorry!**

 **To Sam0728, it's cool, it's an entire six chapters away right now, you've got some breathing space lol**

 **To shugokage, thank you! I hope you enjoyed the awkward talk lol**

 **To Assbitch67, there should be plenty of Buddy scheming once I rewrite that plan I've built already, think I'm actually gonna just start it all from the moment the two meet tbh but anyway, I'll talk to you about that in PM and not on here lol. MAB AND DP ARE EVERYWHERE! You reread the entire thing? Nah, I don't believe you, that's 115 chapters woman! (I mean, technically 109 but meh) AND AHHHH I NEED TO CATCH UP ON MIGRAINE OMG I'M SO EXCITED FOR THE CIVIL WAR ARC I'LL BE BACK SOON I SWEAR! I'VE GOT ONE CHAPTER LEFT TO WRITE FOR THIS, I'M JUST WAITING UNTIL I'M IN THE RIGHT MOOD CAUSE YOU KNOW HOW SERIOUS THE LAST ONE IS!**

 **To xLaBellaVita, thank you! She definitely has an important role, at least in my eyes. But yeah, I'm glad to hear that you like her. Hope you enjoyed this chapter.**

 **To CrumblingUniverses, ahaha, that's a lot of love. And yay for Buddy love! I'M SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT YOU LIKE ADDY, she's my new child so obviously I'm gonna be happy when I hear people saying they like her. I hope you managed to get through this chapter! I belive in you!**

 **To AngelElmarlienHenning, thank you very much! I tried to update as soon as I could and I hope you enjoyed it ^^**

 **To LoveFiction2018, thank you ^^**

 **AND A BIG THANKS TO THE PEOPLE THAT READ THE CHAPTER! See ya!**


	117. Chapter One Hundred and Eleven

**CHAPTER ONE-HUNDRED AND ELEVEN**

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"If I was a love poet, I'd write about how you have the audacity to be beautiful even on days when everything around you is ugly."

― **Rudy Francisco**

* * *

Heaven didn't seem like a good enough word to describe the place Artemis found herself on that morning, or, it would be more fitting to say, the _arms_ Artemis found herself in. They were large and wrapped across her shoulders, one hand resting on the curve of her waist, making that spot feel scorching hot. It almost felt like those arms were keeping her together, taking away any burdens and maybe that was why she was so relaxed in that moment, or maybe it was because those arms felt like home.

The beach shack Artemis had spent the past two years in was never a home. It was a damp blanket made of splintered wood that shook and shivered beneath the weight of dust. It had been a mere form of protection to keep the temperamental tidal waves outside the aged door from consuming her entirely. The brunette supposed though that she'd never been the type to recognise home in a building, back when she was AS09 the only thing she'd ever seen Hydra's base as was a prison and then she'd travelled through Europe with Steve with no specific location she could call home. No, she'd always labelled her homes as the people she was with and those arms wrapping around her, arms belonging to Steven Grant Rogers, they were her home.

She felt safe and warm and loved, and that was an unhealthy mix when put together with the sleepiness that had settled like hot snow on Artemis' body after the night she'd spent with Steve. They'd never returned to the dinner party, skipping desert and hoping that Addy and Bucky had left the door at some point or else they would have been hearing some quite loud noises for the past five hours.

Turning over slightly, she nuzzled her head into his shoulder, allowing her lips to press against his burning flesh and stay there, sleep finally able to capture Artemis in her moment of weakness.

 _It was cold. There was no fire, for the first time her dream did not include any fire, only the cold that shivered Artemis' body, or was it her soul? She wasn't physically there, but she was able to see every detail as though she was. It wasn't long before the brunette realised that a part of her was there, the part of her that was connected to the Space Stone._

 _She was on some sort of mountain side, it didn't look like any mountain she'd seen on Earth. The rocks were so much more… sinister. It was strange, but that was the only way she could think to describe the almost obsidian rocks that stuck out of the walls. They shined, as though it had been raining, the air thick, the sky full of clouds, the ground covered in what might have been snow, Artemis thought though that it strangely looked more like dust. It wasn't as pristine as snow._

" _Welcome, Thanos, son of Alars." A voice greeted, and Artemis' world began to tilt, her vision of the rocks rolling until she was able to spot the familiar face of Thanos, and behind him was a much smaller alien; clearly the female was an alien because of her green skin, and the shade of her skin probably would have been a shock if Art hadn't gotten used to seeing abnormally coloured skin already via Thanos, Vision and the Hulk. "Gamora, daughter of Thanos," the hoarse voice continued, being quite helpful for Artemis and giving her the name of the green-skinned alien._

" _You know us?" Thanos responded, his voice far more deep and rough, making the other voice seem almost meager in comparison._

" _It's my curse to know all who journey here," the voice explained, only a speck of sorrow being found in his voice and Artemis couldn't help it, she needed to know who was speaking, who that hollow, aged, voice belonged to. But she couldn't turn, she wasn't in charge of her body, of her eyes, of what she saw. Because it wasn't her eyes, it was the eyes of the soul stone._

" _Where is the soul stone?" Thanos asked, not waiting around, he was clearly on a mission. Artemis realised with horror that he must be moments away from achieving the next stone, moments away from getting stronger._

" _You should know," the entity said, "it extracts a terrible price."_

" _I am prepared." Thanos said it with such earnest courage, he truly did believe himself invincible, no challenge too difficult, no mountain too high. That scared Artemis even more._

" _We all think that at first." Finally she was no longer concentrating on Thanos, freed for a moment so she didn't have to stare at his terrible face. The Space Stone had heard her demand and listened, only so that it could be made clear to Artemis that they was trying to protect her from facing the monster across from them. His body was cloaked in torn black, a ghost straight out of some Victorian Christmas novel. That wasn't the scary part though, not the part the Sentience was trying to keep from Artemis. The creature stepped forward, and it wasn't a creature at all, or maybe it was. Artemis found herself unable to be sure because it's face, it was the face of a human skull, painted red, as though the skin had melted and the blood had hardened all over his skin. It was horrifying. She wanted to scream, but her mouth remained clamped shut, her physical body trapped and frozen because of the Sentience. But, oh god, that face. It was_ _ **horrifying**_ _. "We are all wrong."_

 _Thanos does not care for the red skull's words, and he demands the ghost or spirit or monster, take him to the Soul Stone so that he could finally fulfill his destiny. The ghost or spirit or monster, does. He guides them up a hill, thankfully turning around as he lead Thanos and Gamora (and accidentally, Artemis) up the mountain side to the peak. Whilst the rest of the planet looked empty and uninhabited, that peak was the only proof that something had once been there. Two spires like New York skyscrapers reached towards the grey-blue sky, and towards the edge of the mountain was a pattern carved into the floor, steps leading down to the edge where a semicircle was cut. There was clearly a purpose for it, though Artemis was not able to figure it out. Not yet._

" _What you seek lies in front of you," the monster informed Thanos, turning to face the Mad Titan, "as does what you fear."_

 _Thanos was staring only at the edge, trying to figure out what the trick was, what he'd have to do in order to earn the next stone. So was the Space Stone, which is why Artemis' eyes were also fixed on that spot. "What is this?" Gamora asked, showing that she'd been following the same thought pattern as the others._

" _The price." The red-skulled creature explained. "Soul holds a special place among the Infinity Stones, you might say it has a certain… wisdom."_

 _Like the Space Stone, like her Sentience? But… the Space Stone had gotten that from the experiments done on AS09. The Space Stone gaining a mind from AS09 and the telepathic powers the girl had possessed, whilst AS09 gained more power than she was able to handle. Sometimes Artemis felt like they'd both gained a soul in that moment, two souls that had become intricately linked._

" _Tell me what it needs." Thanos wandered over to the edge, peering down and seeing that metres below them another circular form was cut into the ground. The Space Stone peered back at the two large beacons, and Artemis somehow knew what the Sentience was suggesting, that perhaps what they were standing on was a beacon of some sort._

" _To ensure that whoever possesses it understands its power, the stone demands a_ _ **sacrifice**_ _." That was when Artemis and the Space Stone figured out from the monster's words, that what was below them was a burial ground._

" _Of what?"_

" _In order to take the stone, you must lose that which you love." Thanos turned to the monster then, his mouth parting slightly. "A soul for a soul," he continued to explain, the Titan turning back to peer over the edge with a look of almost… pain._

 _From behind the giant warrior, the green female, Gamora, released a laugh. It was bitter, but it was a laugh, and it mirroried the same sentiments that Artemis and the Space Stone were feeling. That pain they'd seen on Thanos' face, it was because he couldn't get the Soul Stone. Because the only monster on that peak was him, and he was the kind of inhumane, soulless, villain that felt no compassion, no_ _ **love**_ _._

" _All my life, I dreamed of a day, a moment, when you got what you deserved." Gamore said, drawing Artemis' attention entirely with her words. Who was she to Thanos? They'd clearly known each other for a long time, all of Gamora's life apparently. But she looked young. Had she known him since she was a child? If that was so, then Artemis was able to understand her. Or at least understand what she'd meant with those words. When she was a child, all the way into her adulthood, she could remember wanting the same thing for Pierce, for the Winter Soldier, for every bastard that ever touched her. Had Thanos hurt the green woman? Ruined her childhood, ruined who she was, made her into something she never wanted to be? The red-skulled creature had said that she was his daughter._

" _And I was always so disappointed," that sad anger that flopped in her words like an abandoned fish on ground reminded Artemis so much of her childhood. "But now…"_

 _Gamora walked closer to him, spite filling her expression, and it was such a familiar hatred to Artemis that she felt it spark in her own heart. There was no forgiving people that had caused that amount of pain, there was only moving on and living in spite of them. Despite not knowing the alien well, she knew her story well enough from her own experience, and Artemis just hoped that Gamora would be able to move on and live her life how_ _ **she**_ _wanted, not how Thanos - clearly the alien's torementer - dictated._

" _You kill and you torture, and you call it mercy." Oh, Thanos truly was exactly like Pierce. Gamora pointed over to the edge of the mountain precipice. "The Universe has judged you. You asked it for a prize, and it told you_ _ **no**_ _. You failed." Those words, they were everything to Gamora, the smile filling her lips made that very clear. It was everything Gamora had wanted, for her abuser to finally suffer like she did, to want something so badly and not be able to get it, the same way she'd had to live in torment and want peace, only to never get it because of Thanos. Finally._ _ **Finally**_ _, he was getting what he deserved. "And do you wanna know why? Because you love nothing. No one." That's the price of being a monster. Artemis felt her heart singing in celebration, the war was going to be over, she wouldn't have to do what Gran had told her. Everything was okay._

 _But there was something else in her heart. No, it wasn't her heart. It was the Space Stone, it knew something else, and when Thanos turned around to face Gamora, Artemis soon learned it too. "No," Thanos whispered, tears in his eyes. No was right, because he wasn't a monster, he wasn't like Pierce. Thanos was like Ultron, like Zemo, like Rebecca, he was a villain with too much heart, a hero in his own mind. He was capable of a love that wasn't real, but was real in his eyes._

" _Really?" Gamora scoffed disbelievingly, and Artemis wanted to scream at her to run but she couldn't. "Tears?"_

" _They're not for him." The creature with the red skull explained from the side of the two, able to see the truth that Gamora couldn't._

 _The realisation dawned on her face slowly, a sickening feeling clearly rising up in her stomach as she turned back to Thanos, truly appalled. "No," she whispered, and Artemis was amazed by the strength Gamora held in that one word. She was a fighter too, a warrior, just like Amelia. "This isn't love," she told the Mad Titan, taking steps backwards as Thanos moved closer. It was clear what he was going to do, and Artemis couldn't help but agree with what the alien woman had stated._ _ **That wasn't love**_ _._

" _I ignored my destiny once," Thanos gave as though it would suffice as an explanation for what he was about to do, it was only an argument against what he called 'love'. Destiny didn't matter, fate didn't matter, time didn't matter, nothing mattered when it came to love because the heart dictated everything. What he 'loved' was his idealism, the picture perfect world of emptiness that he'd built in his own mind. He did not love Gamora. "I cannot do that again. Even for you."_ _ **That wasn't love**_ _._

 _Gamora's gaze was empty as she stared off into the distance, there was no sadness, no heartbreak received from his words because she hadn't expected anything different from him. The only surprise had been from the notion that he believed he loved her in the first place. There was only one thing she could do._

 _The green alien reached out and grabbed from Thanos' belt a knife, turning around she moved to stab herself, to kill herself before Thanos could. She'd done it without any fear, no hesitation, she'd more than earnt the respect from Artemis which is why it was so hard to watch what happened next._

 _Gamora's suicide mission ended poorly, Thanos using the reality stone to turn the knife into bubbles that she then released into the air with shaking fingers. It settled like a heavy weight, like a storm made only of lightning, on them all. Thanos was going to get the Soul Stone, through disgusting, false, means._

" _I'm sorry, little one," that care Thanos carried in his words, the softness, it was disgusting. And his words were meaningless as he grabbed her arm and began to drag her over the edge. Gamora screamed, she threw her fist down onto his arm and tried to fight back. She shrieked at him, she cried at him. But it didn't matter, not to Thanos, not to the monster. Artemis wanted to do something, she wanted the Space Stone to do something, but there wasn't anything they could do._

 _They could only watch, as Thanos claimed another victim, and another stone._

 _Still, Artemis tried to fight it, felt the weight on her limbs and she pushed and pushed, her muscles tensing to the point of cramping, all so that she could raise a hand and do something. But what could she do when she wasn't even really there? It was useless. She was useless. And what Thanos was doing, that wasn't love. The same way that Pierce had used her, abused her, destroyed her, all for the sake of the world he wanted to create in his image, that had never been love. He might have called her his daughter, his creation, he might have kept her drawings the way parents were supposed to keep their children's works of art and post them on his fridge, he might have given her more chances when logic dictated that he terminate AS09, but none of that was love._

 _And to just stand there, watching, incapable of doing anything, incapable of stopping another person being the victim to a villain's misled notions of love, it was killing Artemis. She wanted to bring down the mountain for Gamora, wanted to tear down the world for Gamora. She didn't want Gamora to suffer._

 _No one else should have to suffer._

A scream tore through Artemis as the Space Stone finally sent her back to reality, the Sentience seemingly having a considerate moment and stopping Artemis from seeing anything else. Leaving her with a parting gift, an assurance that Thanos had gotten another stone, and that was enough to drive the scream that whittled it's way up her throat with the force of a tornado.

She sat up, pulling herself away from unnoticed arms. The brunette reached out with one of her hands, knowing it was useless, but wishing that she could have been there to break Gamora free.

"Amelia!" Steve screamed, trying to gain her attention as the room began to shake. Sleep hazed over his eyes and mind, but his heart was beating a million miles a second and his old instinct for comforting Amelia through her nightmares had thankfully awakened and taken control. She shook her body side to side, believing everything around her was a threat but Steve still grabbed her and pulled her against his chest, wrapping his arms around her and keeping her there despite the way she punched at him. It was one of the perks of being a super soldier, the only time he was ever hurt by her after a nightmare was when her powers had gone haywire, that was thankfully not one of those times.

The brunette seemed to realise her company and her movements did calm down as she looked over to him, the quivering fright greying her gaze enough to wake him up completely. "That wasn't love," she whispered, her voice like metal scraping metal as her throat had practically been torn apart by the scream she'd let out.

"What?" He asked, eyebrows drawing together as he thought over her words again and again, trying to decipher them as though she'd said something in code. She kind of had.

It was the blue of Steve's eyes that pulled her back to the surface, Artemis previously drowning in what information her dream had left her with. She could still feel it burning her clogged mind. "I… nevermind," Artemis mumbled as she shook herself free of Steve's hands and exited the bed.

"Amelia, wait-"

"We have to go tell the others," she rushed out, not even able to hear Steve's words as her heart pounded in her ears. The brunette busied herself with getting dressed, locating her underwear and slipping it on, the bra clasp proving to be a challenge beneath her fumbling fingers. "Thanos, he has another stone. We've got to the others."

She was a mess, pacing around the room as she discarded her bra as it had proved itself far too difficult and then she moved onto her next challenger. Skinny Jeans. Steve moved himself to the edge of the bed so that he was closer to her, the soldier reached out to try and grab her hand but she immediately walked away, ignorant of his movements as the images flashed over her vision. "Not right now we don't-" Steve tried again, but it was useless.

"That monster, that _bastard_ ," her voice cracked and Steve noticed, for the first time, that tears were streaming down her face despite the way she'd tried to empty her expression of emotion. She was in mourning, he realised, but for who, he did not know. He doubted that it was for Thanos, it sounded more like it was for one of his victims, probably someone the mad Titan had to kill in order to get the stone. As important as that was, Steve's priority was still the frazzled and panicked brunette before him. But Artemis still continued on her tirade, "we've got to tell Shuri, and- and, and Addy. Get Vision's stone destroyed. Thanos will be here soon. The others, we need to tell the others."

"Amelia-" he attempted again, sighing and dropping his hand down.

Artemis picked up Steve's clothes and threw them towards him. "Get dressed, Steve," she ordered, already beginning to make her way over to the door.

"Amelia!" His yell shocked the both of them, loud enough to clutch the brunette's heart and make her body become frozen stiff, "we are not leaving this room until you calm down."

She turned around, clearly appalled that he'd chosen to yell at her and the soldier showed on his face that he wasn't very happy about it either. "But Thanos-" she tried to explain but it was Steve's turn to interrupt her.

"I don't care," he dismissed. Of course Thanos having another stone was a very big deal, it meant that he'd be stronger, and coming for the Mind Stone soon. But Artemis was stood in front of him shaking, tears leaking unceremoniously from her eyes and he would be damned before he left her in that sort of state ever again. "You're clearly scared and I'm not going to just let you stay this way, come on," he gestured for her to come closer.

"Steven," she said his name with a warning tone, yet she found herself still stepping closer towards him.

"Amelia," he countered, and that was the first time she realised what name Steve had been using when he talked to her, and for some reason, she just didn't have the heart to correct him. The brunette continued to approach him and she stopped once she was pressed against his legs, the pile of clothes she'd thrown at him sitting innocently on his lap though she wished that he'd put on a shirt. He finally took her hands into his and they fit together like puzzle pieces, the soldier proceeded to fix her beneath an earnest gaze that was matched by his words, "look, the last time I ignored what was going on with you mentally, we broke up, I'm not doing that ever again, so get down on this bed."

He didn't wait for her to argue against him and instead he tugged her down onto the empty space beside him, putting an arm down beforehand to ensure that he could immediately pull her into a hug. It covered her back in the warmth that she'd fallen asleep shrouded in. She didn't fight him as much as she should have been, instead she bent her head back so she could face him whilst still having her head poised on his bicep, "there's a God-killing Titan on a mission to destroy half the universe, and you're making me cuddle you," the brunette voiced trying to help make him understand the situation, though there was a slight bit of humour in her voice. She was forcing herself to relax, only so that she'd be able to assure Steve so that he'd let her go tell the team what the Space Stone had allowed her to see.

"He can wait," Steve responded simply.

"What's the team going to think when they hear about this?" She continued to push, doing her best to not be glamoured by his bluer than blue eyes and how serene it felt being back in his arms.

"I don't care," he answered shortly, shrugging his shoulders but not being too harsh with the movement as it would knock her head.

"What if his army arrives right now?"

"Then I'll tell them to stand down for an hour so I can comfort my girl," a boyish smirk curved his lips that Artemis found a challenge to deny was charming, as much as it was a challenge to ignore the fluttering in her heart as he called her his girl.

The brunette scoffed and spoke quickly, trying to avoid any attention going on the cherry red shading her cheeks, "honestly I think that'd be pretty funny to watch, really dumb as well, though."

Again, he jiggled his shoulder ever-so-slightly as a form of shrug that wouldn't disturb Artemis too much, "love makes people into fools, even super soldier's."

It wasn't the first time they'd talked about still loving each other, not even the first time after the break-up, it was, however, the first time one of them had stated it after getting so intimate with one another and it was said so casually, with the same ease they'd once had when in an actual relationship. But they weren't in a relationship.

Steve seemed to notice the way she'd paused, not following his words up with a bantering remark and instead just staring at him slack jawed. "What?"

"Love," she replied simply, not stating whether she hated his use of the word or not because Artemis didn't really know how she felt. There was anxiety rippling in her belly, there was fear tip-toeing up her spine, and there was adoration, it was satin and silk that wrapped her heart in a bow, constraining the organ in the most beautiful of ways.

"Oh," Steve sounded, eyes falling down shyly so when he did look back up to her, he was peeking at her face through his eyelashes, "was I not supposed to say that?"

Artemis pushed on the hand that was resting on her waist so that she could sit up, Steve moving his hand so that it was resting on her leg and the brunette decided to take the hand into hers, a sign that whatever she was feeling didn't affect how happy she was to be able to touch him as intimately as before. There were no regrets about last night. "I don't know," she answered honestly, "I don't know what the protocol for all of this is."

"Me neither," Steve admitted, he'd known about such agreements before only because of Addy and Bucky but he'd never thought of himself as someone to take part in such a relationship. In the end, the soldier supposed that it didn't really matter, he wanted to be with Amelia in whatever way he could. "But I'm not ashamed of it, I do love you."

Artemis' smile stretched so far that her lips began to ache, Steve Rogers saying that to her would never grow tiring, especially because for the past two years she'd felt as though she'd never get to hear him say that ever again. "I love you too," she repeated his words exactly as he'd said them, with just as much sincerity and tenderness as he had used, with just as much _love_.

Steve didn't have the reaction she'd expected though, instead of smiling back at her in the same way she had. His eyebrows were thrown up to the top of his head. "Really?"

"You're surprised?"

"A little bit yeah," he admitted, reminding Artemis of all the guilt he'd put on display last night, guilt that had clearly led to him feeling as though he shouldn't be afforded love.

"We're going to have to work on this, us. We won't take the step forward unless we're sure that we've changed, that things truly are different." She figured that that was their smartest opton, the most mature, that would keep the two of them from falling down to their all time lows again. Steve had clearly been through a lot over the past few years, as had she. Steve nodded in agreement, not feeling burdened by the test at all, instead feeling determined to prove himself. Artemis proceeded to pull his hand towards her mouth, pressing a soft kiss onto it. "But as I said before, there's been no one else but you."

That was when he finally smiled, touched by the gesture and the meaning behind her words. He shared the exact same sentiment, having decided a long time ago that she was the one, his soulmate, the person that all of his life he'd been working unconsciously to meet. "How are you feeling now?" He asked, pulling out his thumb from her grasp so that he could rub it against the back of her hand.

"Well the conversation was distracting enough I guess," she muttered, eyes fixed on their conjoined hands. Her black eyes had returned to a normal shade, the tears dried lines on her cheeks, her body stilled. "I'm sorry I woke you up like that, it's not how I wanted our morning after to go."

"You don't need to apologise," Steve reprimanded, "an explanation might help."

Artemis did a small nod of her head, knowing that she'd have to explain her dream soon anyway and it would be a lot easier to talk about it to her soldier than anyone else. "The Space Stone showed me where Thanos was, it was this decrepit planet that seemed to have no life on it. Except for this one… thing. I don't know what was scarier, the fact that someone so human looking was on the planet, or the fact that he had a red skull, like his face had melted off."

Steve's mouth fell into a straight line as he took in the description she'd given, the image in his head that of his old enemy, the head of Hydra, the Red Skull, Johann Schmidt. He didn't say anything, the soldier didn't feel the need to bring up the fact that the person she described sounded exactly like him because he'd definitely watched the Red Skull die. Or had he? The more Steve thought over it, he'd never seen Schmidt die, all he really saw was the villain get teleported (that was what he'd guessed) by the Space Stone. So, it was actually quite a possibility that he was still alive, still out there somewhere.

"The thing was a guide of some sort," Artemis continued, and Steve welcomed it as the more he thought over the possibility of Schmidt still being alive, the more weights he felt uncomfortably pressing on his stomach. "He took them up to the top of this mountain and… well, Thanos, he got the Soul Stone. It wasn't just that though, in order to get the Soul Stone, he'd needed to sacrifice the one thing he loved."

Steve let out a snort, "like he's capable of such a thing."

"That's what I thought," her voice became low as the bitter sadness pressed down on her again, "and so did his victim. It was his daughter. He killed his daughter. And I could just… sense it, that Thanos treated his daughter the same way Pierce treated me."

"That isn't love," Steve echoed the words she'd said earlier, everything make so much more sense to him.

"Yeah, but he thought it was, and he killed her even still. And, I don't know, I wanted so badly to save her, to just stop another person suffering at the hands of another sociopath but I wasn't there. I was here seeing what was happening over there so I couldn't do anything. And now she's dead."

"It isn't your fault," Steve immediately dictated, "the same way that what happened to you wasn't your fault, it was Pierce's. So what happened to his daughter is Thanos' fault. But we'll stop him, we will. And we'll do it for people like her. Yeah?"

"Yeah," she agreed, trying to move past her sorrow and match up with Steve's hope. That was another thing she missed about Steve, the way his light could fill any person enough to inspire it in themselves. "Steve?"

"Yeah?"

Artemis abandoned his hand so that she could lean forward and press a sweet kiss onto his lips that he automatically puckered when she was close enough. "I'm really happy to have you back."

"I'm really happy to be back with you," he responded, lifting his head upwards so he could peck her with his own kiss.

For a moment it almost seemed like they were going to deepen the kiss into something more but Artemis suddenly grabbed the pile of clothes that had been sitting comfortably on his crotch and pushed them against his chest whilst breaking away from the kiss. "Come on then," she pushed, stepping up and away from the bed, "it's time to tell the team."

Steve sent her a look that showed he wasn't really happy about it, but he at least followed what she'd said, comforted enough by her joking tone to know that she had truly calmed down and was ready to tell the rest of the team. If it came down to it, he would try and step in to tell everyone of what happened in her dream so she wouldn't have to relive it too much.

He got dressed quickly whilst Artemis finished putting on her leather jacket and then the two left her bedroom together.

"Artemis?" From the doorway next door was Wanda, standing there rubbing at her eyes, clearly having just woken up but it didn't look like she'd had a very restful sleep. Both Artemis and Steve turned to look at the witch with surprise appearing on their faces, they hadn't expected to be caught together so quickly. "Look, I'm super happy that you and Steve are a thing but could you be a little quieter and mindful of who's next door?"

"Oh my god, oh no," realisation dawned on Artemis as she took in what Wanda was saying. So much for keeping their relationship private between them, she supposed. But then she remembered just what noises she'd been making _before_ the nightmare, and Wanda had clearly heard all of it. She looked to Steve, redder than the colour on his shield and he matched it. She'd been the one to tell Wanda to keep it down if she engaged in any 'nookie' with Vision, so not only was she embarrassed but she also felt very hypocritical. "Oh _no_ ," the brunette repeated, "I'm so sorry."

"Is Vision with you?" Steve asked, and at first both the girls thought he was asking whether the android had also heard the noises they'd been filling Artemis' room with for the past five hours.

"Uh, yeah, he's asleep though," Wanda answered, eyes still squinting against the harsh lighting in the hallway that was actually quite soft, but when compared to the darkness in their bedrooms, it had the same shine as the sun. "He can sleep through anything," Wanda added, slightly bitter.

Steve tried to move past the conversation topic, keeping his expression strict. "Well wake him up, Amelia had another dream and Thanos has another stone."

* * *

"Whoa. Are you seeing this?" Shuri asked Addy, standing over Vision and waving over the strawberry blonde so she could inspect what the teenage genius had been analysing. She bounded over, having stood at her own research table pressing buttons that were to do with other projects, "The structure is polymorphic," Shuri explained with excitement to Addy as the strawberry blonde joined her side and looked at the hologram displaying from the device.

"This is beautiful," Addy gasped out, leaning over the table so that she could speak to the android directly, "you, Vision, are _beautiful_."

"I can hear you, you know," Bucky said into the comms, stood outside with Sam keeping watch with the other guards as the palace had been put into red alert as soon as Steve explained what Artemis had seen in her dreams and what exactly that meant, that Thanos and his army would be arriving soon.

"He's just jealous because his metal arm isn't the most beautiful bit of technology to me anymore," Addy explained to everyone inside the room, not caring that her fiance would also be able to hear that. She took another look at the hologram, examining the details as she turned back to the group, "anyway, the neuron's are a bit messy, that'll probably mean this is going to take us a little while."

"Right, we had to attach each neuron non-sequentially," Banner addressed the way she'd described Vision's brain as 'messy', it had been hard for both him and Tony to design the brain in the limited time they'd had and they just went with the best thing they could come up with, which was also the _only_ thing they could come up with.

"Why didn't you just reprogram the synapses to work collectively?" Shuri interrogated, making it seem like it was simple but even Addy could admit that she wouldn't even know where to start when it came to creating Vision's mind. Then again, android's and technology weren't her strong point, she was only supposed to be a botanist though she'd branched out to weapons when working under Hydra's thumb.

"Because, we didn't think of it," Bruce admitted, wishing he could defend himself with something better.

"I'm sure you did your best," Shuri commented, doing her best to smile but it was noticeably crooked. From the side of her Addy sent out her elbow, hitting the side of Shuri's shoulder where hours before Okoye had flicked the genius. "What?" She questioned blazingly, thinking that her comment hadn't been that insulting, but it was more the condescension that Addy had picked up on.

"Can you do it?" Wanda asked, moving the topic back to what was most important in that moment. Artemis was stood at the side listening to their conversation intensely, needing to know whether they'd be able to take the stone from Vision's head just as much as Wanda did, the only thing that kept her from panicking was Steve's warm presence beside her, his arm wrapping sneakily behind her back and holding her hand. They were trying to be secretive about their relationship still, despite Wanda knowing.

"Of course we can, dear," Addy answered, her neverending smile very comforting in that moment.

"She's right," Shuri agreed, "we can definitely do it. But we're going to have to be very careful, there are more than two trillion neurons here. One misalignment could cause a cascade of circuit failures." She then turned to T'Challa, knowing that there was a time limit being put on them after hearing about Artemis' dream, "it will take time, brother."

"How long?" Steve asked, and Artemis was struck by the lack of fear in his voice, he was asking for the information, not demanding it because of the oncoming threat. He believed they'd be able to keep Thanos and the army away long enough, that motivated the brunette to try and believe in the ideal as well.

"As long as you can give me," Shuri responded. Addy wanted to help her friend, but she'd decided that she belonged out on the field rather than inside the lab, closer to Bucky.

All of a sudden they began to hear a ringing sound and everyone started to search the room trying to found where it was being emitted from, Artemis was one of the first to notice that it was coming from Okoye's bracelet. The warrior took a bead from the bracelet and flicked it onto her palm, a hologram being sent out from the beam. "Something's entered the atmosphere," she warned them.

Artemis felt her blood become like ice in her body.

Moments later, Sam began to speak into the comms, "hey, Cap, we got a situation here." Everyone turned to the window, trying to spot what the pilot was talking about. Seconds later they saw something large break through the clouds, hurtling down towards Wakanda threateningly, Artemis raised her hands, ready to jump out of the window and attempt to do something in order to protect the people below but it was unnecessary. The ship that had aimed to land in the city crashed into some sort of blue barrier, exploding then and there.

"God, I love this place," Bucky sighed wistfully.

"I can hear you, you know?" Addy joked, the brunette turning to look at her and once again she found that the strawberry blonde was still smiling. It seemed far too indecent, Thanos' army was coming and all their lives were at stake, there wasn't any reason to be smiling.

"Can you two take your flirting out of the comms?" Rhodey quipped, voicing Artemis' own thoughts, "we've got more incoming outside the dome." Everyone was able to see the ships without Rhodey having to tell them, there were a few of them, all gliding past the barrier and landing on the borders of Wakanda.

"Thanos?" Steve asked, looking to Artemis for his answer as she seemed to be the most in the know about the Mad Titan.

His assumption about her knowledge had been right, the brunette somehow able to sense that the mad Titan wasn't yet on Earth. "No, not yet. This will be his army. Thanos doesn't see us as a big enough threat yet to make a visit on his own. He has other priorities, finding the Time Stone." If Thanos had been there, she knew she'd definitely have been able to sense the Space Stone, her connection with that stone powerful enough, almost as powerful as the connection she felt with Steve. It was more than destiny or fate or some ethereal connection, but it was definitely something that meant they'd always reunite. Artemis just wished that it would be under different circumstances.

"Then he's underestimate us, we can use that in our favour," Steve said, once again showing courage and faith in his team.

"Or we're underestimating the army," Rhodey responded into the comms, not wanting to get too big headed and confident, in situations like the one they were in, he always felt the need to think of both the negatives and positives, unlike Tony who would always just _do_.

"No," Artemis mumbled, her stare out of the window turning intense as she became suddenly determined, "they're all underestimating me."

"You're back?" Sam questioned into the comms.

She gave a nod, even if Sam couldn't see it. "I'm back," Artemis confirmed. Steve wasn't backing down, so neither would she. Sometimes she'd accuse him of being stupid with the way he always put faith in them winning, but in that moment she decided to do exactly the same thing, she needed to. She needed to win so that Vision could stay alive, so that she could stay alive, so that her and Steve could _stay alive_. There was nothing in the Universe - not Thanos, not a legion of aliens, and certainly not her burdening doubts - that could stop her from making sure that she and her relationships with the people she cared about, stayed alive.

"It's too late…" Vision commented from behind them, not sharing the same sentiment as the rest as he watched the large ships land, no doubt carrying in them far too many enemies. As everyone turned to look at him, he turned to Wanda, "we need to destroy the stone now."

"Vision, get your ass back on the table," Nat responded snappily, turning away from the window and beginning to walk forward. Artemis smiled at her friend appreciatively even though Nat couldn't see it, Nat's confidence spoke volumes and they needed that kind of confidence to keep the team's motivation up.

"We will hold them off," T'Challa said in agreement with Nat, though he was more polite and less direct with his words.

"Wanda, as soon as the stone's out of his head, you blow it to hell," Steve ordered, taking the role of leader quite easily and Artemis wished that they could have more time to return to the bedroom so she could show Steve just how much she liked it when he got his leader head on.

"I will," Wanda replied back, and Artemis reached out to pat her shoulder supportively, she believed in her little sister.

"Evacuate the city. Engage all defense procedures," T'Challa ordered loudly to his own soldiers, everyone beginning to move around and leave the room preparing for the fight, suddenly the king turned around and pointed to Steve, "and get this man a shield." Steve looked over and gave a slight nod, so many words being passed in that one gesture.

"Addy, would you be able to score me a suit to wear?" Artemis asked, approaching the strawberry blonde who was helping Shuri set up the lab equipment before she left to join Bucky's side.

"Sure, what do you want? Weapons? Sound absorption? Kinetic energy absorption? Lasers?" Addy listed mindlessly, only half paying attention to their conversation as she worked.

"Just give me something bulletproof, and black," the brunette responded, "I've got all the weapons I need." She pulled up her hands, allowing them to begin to glow, allowing the power to flow through her body and build, ready for the battle ahead. Both scientists came to a halt as they looked over to the strange energy dancing across her fingertips. "Dependent on how good the suit is, I'll explain it all to you both later."

"Deal," Shuri and Addy said at the same time, their need for information glowing in their eyes as brightly as the energy glowed on Artemis' fingers. An unspoken conversation was shared between Addy and Shuri, the two glancing at each other, Shuri nodding her head over towards the other side of the laboratory and then Addy turned away, grabbed Artemis' hand and began to drag her over to where Shuri had directed.

"Miss Stark," a guard called from the side of them, approaching the two, "someone is here to see you, she says that she is your grandma."

"Oh."

"I'll go get your suit ready," Addy said, leaving Artemis with the guard and Steve who approached from behind.

"What's wrong?" Steve asked, not having heard what the guard had said but he noticed the crestfallen look on Artemis' face and that was enough to have him worrying.

"Nothing," she chimed, hiding her own concerns behind a mask as she turned to face Steve fully, taking his hand into hers and squeezing them tightly. "Can you do me a favour?" The soldier nodded without any hesitation. "Wait ten minutes and then come find me, please?"

"Okay…" Steve didn't bother hiding how he was concerned from her, but he also didn't let that stop him from agreeing to whatever he asked. As she walked away, the soldier simply hoped that whatever he found in that room wouldn't be something horrifying.

 **A/N: Bit of a long chapter featuring a lot of plot (yes, we're back into the movie, sad I know) but I hope y'all enjoyed it none the less, there were definitely some nice moments and I liked at the end when Artemis was like 'I'm back' like yes Queen, you go fucking slay. OKAY THE REVIEWS ARE SO LONG THIS CHAPTER I'M REALLY SORRY!**

 **To Tina, okay dokey, I hope to see you on the other projects as well then, and thank you for calling my stories lovely I do appreciate it!**

 **To carboardbox2.0, ahaha oh my god you're so late, she's had loads of names by this point. And Jemima? Really? She doesn't look like a Jemima in my head. It's so interesting to hear what you thought it would be though because I don't think many people said, so thank you for that. That's really interesting to me I don't even know why.**

 **To Pitspee, I KNOW RIGHT! You have no idea how relieved I was when I wrote the last chapter like FINALLY, I like to build suspense so things are a bigger deal but even for me having those two apart was torture. I just want to write fluff. I'm glad to hear you could feel the change in Steve as much as you can Amelia, it's always good to know my characters are like… I can't think of the word. Realistic? Sorry, I've got a really bad headache right now. And yes I totally agree with everything you said in this review, especially that last part.**

 **To Faora, glad you enjoyed the chapter, sorry about how smutty it got but I needed Amelia to take her damned top off so he could see the ring. I stopped writing before things got too spicey lol.**

 **To SnowPaws101, I'm glad you're talking to someone about this, and I'm always here for you to talk to, but before I start anything I do just want to state that you should seek out a counsellar or something to talk through your problems with, there's even free services online and stuff to talk to. I'm not a professional, I've just been through some stuff that has given me wisdom which may be incorrect for all I know lol. But, I am so sorry to hear about what you're going through. I actually went through the same thing with my parents, I sought out a consellar for my head, they told my parents, and I used to self harm so it was… awful. I don't want to tell my horror stories here (though I will share that I also got the 'you could have put us in jail' speech and let me tell you, that is complete and utter bullshit), but let's just say I understand manipulation and when your parents take something like your pain and inability to get through a certain day, and start using it against you, that's just not right and it's horrible and again I am so sorry. Don't be afraid to break, that's the best advice I can probably give you. My entire life I've been unable to even cry in front of my family which was hard if you know anything about my past, which is why I resorted to self harm, it was invisible and it was me breaking apart so much that I literally had to break myself apart. This story, this is me breaking apart as well but it is in a much healthier light. Start writing, if I can help you in anyway with that I most definitely will, I'd love to. Start drawing, you don't have to be good but it's at least something to get the pain on. Every single human on this planet is holding on in their own way and whilst there a plenty of healthy ways, we tend to go towards the unhealthy ones, and honestly if you talking to me will help in anyway FEEL FREE. I'd be happy to find a way to give you my email or something without posting anything on here publicly, maybe you could make a fanfiction account and PM me? Or a tumblr? I don't know. I know you said in your second review that you feel better, I really hope that's true, but as I said before, I'm here to talk to you and help you in anyway I can. I understand your situation, but I also understand from the few reviews you've sent me that you're a strong individual, a great person, someone friendly, don't ever doubt yourself or anything and… yeah. I don't really know you that well, but I already like you. Also, isn't Columbus the guy who like killed loads of Indians and gave them STD's or whatever then? I don't really know the history that well. I JUST SAW YOU REVIEWED AGAIN HI, and oh my god yay! I'm happy to hear you're making progress with your family and hope you continue to, but also please do start looking after your mental health cause I'd hate for something bad to happen.**

 **To xLaBellaVita, yay! I'm so happy to hear that you liked it. I'm glad they talked too, having them apart was hell for me. I tried not to rush it too fast because that would have been unhealthy, they needed to move past their issues and stuff, but I also believe they're both changed people who wouldn't run away from their issues anymore like before. So technically it wasn't me who got them together quickly, it was their development, if that even makes sense.**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, I ONE HUNDRED PERCENT AGREE WITH YOU! I'm just gonna write the next chapter where Thanos comes, he see's how cute they are and is like 'nah I don't want to break them up' and then the end, they go to the farm, and have a wonderfully domestic life. I really wish I could write that lol.**

 **To Visenyas, I'm happy to hear you liked them. And yeah, Amelia really has grown up a lot and I'm really proud of her considering the way she used to be in like, the first chapter. I read back the other day and just, my heart. And about the snap, all I'm going to say is this: it won't be what you're expecting, but it also will be what you're expecting.**

 **To kuppcake, glad I could make you grin. And yeah, I'm kinda sad Jonathan doesn't play a bigger part in this story but he's mainly for the untitled Peter Parker fanfiction. Hope you enjoy the rest of the chapters to come!**

 **To Marshmellosh, ahaha same with the stone cold heart thing. And at least Thanos won't stop them from loving each other, let's just hold onto that thought and hope we can get through the rest of this story lol.**

 **To AngelElmarlienHenning, thank you! The farmhouse is a big hit lol. And honestly I think Steve is a huge romantic but he's also very shy, I like to think Amelia brings out that side of him though, he does believe she's owed the world.**

 **To rosequartz121, yay! Thank you so much, I'm really happy to hear that you liked the chapter and how I pieced everything together, I'm very proud and I think chapters 107-110 are all definitely my favourites for part five, maybe the entire story. THANK YOU FOR LOVING THE CHAPTER AS MUCH AS I DO!**

 **To Guest, ahaha it really was, this chapter is kind of one too but not as intense. And wow, nice guessing with most things. Though it doesn't really have anything to do with the Soul Stone, just the Space Stone.**

 **To shugokage, ahaha 'ship is sailing' I love that. Glad to hear you enjoyed the chapter ^^**

 **To CrumblingUniverses, I'm just glad that I can be here for people that are struggling and provide a little something even if it's minimal. I hope you manage to get through your PSAT's (and life) okay and don't let the anxiety get you down. I actually understand you really well, I mean, I'm a writer so you can imagine how that's gone down with my family that are pretty much the same as yours. I spend a lot of time writing and I get a lot of shit from them because of it, but it's something I love, something I'll continue to do because I realised somewhere along the line that this is MY life and I'm going to have to go down it my way. I gave up being a tattoo artist because my mother told me it wasn't a career, then I did childcare because it's what she wanted, and I wasted my entire life getting a qualification for something I'll never want to do. I can't even look at children because I feel like I'll destroy them seen as that's all I've known for myself, but that's a different story and this is about YOU. It's good that you want to get into the world so much, but do try to take time to enjoy the small things before you miss them all. I'm twenty now and miss all those times in school when I was with my mates, all those nights we'd go hang out in a field, the first time me and my friends got drunk. Those things kind of stop when you grow up. Anway, as I said, I'm super happy this story can provide you with something and that you can find something in the characters. And also, just like you, I'm not really looking for a relationship either. I'm twenty and I can honestly say I am the most virginest virgin around, I've done nothing, not even held a boys hand. Sometimes it makes me feel weird, like I'm abnormal, and then other times I realise I'm gifted with independence here. Of course there are other reasons, all probably coming from my past that I've spoken about before, but my point is that I have to look at the upside of it now. I hope you look at the upsides to your quirks as well, you're a very interesting person and that isn't anything to feel meh about. I'm glad you wrote this long ass review, and I'm proud of your cousin too. And thank you for saying my characters are real, it's a huge compliment to me. You didn't go all crazy on me, don't worry, and idk if I've really inspired people but I appreciate all your kind words, I hope you can start saying some more about yourself soon.**

 **To Sam0728, ahaha all the reactions I wanted! Thank you for the review ^^**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, hope you enjoyed them finally talking and also this chapter**

 **To Assbitch67, ahaha, I cried a little too man because when you look back at the first chapter and see who Amelia is now she's SO GROWN UP. And like, she's in love, she knows what love is, she knows life has meaning and that things are okay and a man built that poor broken girl a damn house like can you believe it! I've got half of the last chapter to write, I just need to get in an emotional mindset to finish it. ALSO YO GIRL MESSAGE ME WHAT WE'RE GONNA START 'WITH GREAT POWER' WITH SO I CAN GET ONTO THAT! I'M STILL DETERMINED TO WRITE THREE THIS MONTH!**

 **To BrittStar1199, that's a huge compliment coming from you, you were possibly the most fierce when it came to Amelia's old behaviour so I'm glad you like her how she is now.**

 **To Guest, ahahah oh my god it IS like the notebook. God damn, I hate that movie and now I can't stop thinking about it. He's even got a beard now and shit. Fuuuuuck.**


	118. Chapter One Hundred and Twelve

**CHAPTER ONE-HUNDRED AND TWELVE**

* * *

"Sometimes the prize is not worth the costs. The means by which we achieve victory are as important as the victory itself."

― **Brandon Sanderson**

* * *

It was one of Artemis' bad habits to imagine up her conversations with people before actually talking to them. But she couldn't actually preconstruct what her conversation with Gran would go like, mostly because she couldn't figure out whether to yell, scream, hoorah, celebrate, or strangle her. Even yodelling seemed like an option to the brunette as she wandered behind the guard with her eyes staring harshly at the floor.

So much had happened over the past three days and Artemis felt almost like she needed to thank Gran for it all because she was sure none of it would have happened had it not been for Gran and all the lesson's she'd taught her over the past two years. It was almost like Gran had been preparing her. It had all worked out, Artemis had been able to face all of her fears, tell Steve about the baby and become… something, again.

And that would all be perfect, was it not for the things Gran had said to her when they were last together. Words that were somehow a nightmare, a plague and a storm cloud covering every sunny moment that Artemis had.

The brunette noticed that the guard she'd been walking behind had paused, when Artemis looked at her confused, the guard nodded towards the door behind her. "We've arrived," she explained and all Artemis could afford was a nod of her head as she rushed to enter the room her friend was waiting in. It was the habit that had replaced her tendency to run and avoid uncomfortable situations, instead, she would charge into them and force silence onto her mind so that it couldn't convince her to do the opposite.

Gran was stood in the middle of the room. She'd been staring out of the wide window at the devastation the alien ships had created to the land beyond the barrier but she turned around when Artemis arrived. She was dressed in a long grey woollen jumper that had a turtleneck reaching just under her chin, beneath that she looked to be wearing leggings and combat boots. She was stood with her hands crossed in front of herself and an expression on her face that could only be described as displeased.

Artemis didn't know what to say to Gran until she was in the room with her. "Did you leave my dogs all alone?"

"Hello to you too," Gran quipped with a roll of her eyes, not enjoying the snappish words that her friend had greeted her with. Artemis didn't understand what Gran had been expecting, their last conversation hadn't been pleasant and the short phone call they shared hadn't remedied any of that. "Of course I didn't leave your dogs alone," Gran continued, clearly begrudged that she even had to defend herself on the matter, "I left them with the gas station attendant."

"Carl?!" Artemis took a step back and gaped, just imagining her poor dogs waiting on their meal as Carl smoked another weed. "You can't just leave my dogs with him!"

"I felt that I'd be much more needed here," Gran looked over to Artemis pointedly, showing that she wanted to discuss the matter they'd never truly finished talking about.

Artemis looked like she'd much rather do a million other things, and not one of them with the elder woman. "You were wrong," the brunette snapped, crossing her arms across her chest as she took another step back. It felt like a big shame, for the both of them. For the past two years, they'd been each other's rocks, Gran helping Artemis find herself after becoming so long. And unbeknownst to Art, she'd helped Gran find purpose in her existence after losing _everything_. Such an important friendship shouldn't have had to end in such a way, but there wasn't exactly any other option, at least not for Gran. Artemis was trying to ignore what she'd said and go down a certain path but Gran was cursed with the knowledge of what waited at the end of the path and that was exactly why she couldn't allow the brunette to go down it.

Even if it meant turning their friendship to dust, she had to get Artemis to do the right thing, even if it was wrong. "You shouldn't even be here," Gran responded, reminding her of the main topic at hand.

Artemis' entire body fell down and she looked away, it was hard to look at anyone with the gall to say something like that. Because Gran didn't just mean that Artemis shouldn't be in Wakanda, Gran meant her soul shouldn't be on Earth anymore. "God," she huffed, shaking her head but still looking away, "how can you even say that? _You_ of all people."

"Have you thought over what I said?" The elder woman pressed further, avoiding the question because the truth about her all-consuming guilt wouldn't help either of them.

"Yes," Artemis answered curtly, "and I've had plenty of time to think about how insane it was."

"You're running out of time and you need to do what I asked," Gran demanded, her panic clear but Artemis was unaffected by it. She had faith in what her team had planned, faith that they'd be able to get the stone from Vision's head in time to stop Thanos from getting it so there would be no requirement for her to follow Gran's instructions.

Finally the brunette was able to look at Gran again though her gaze was all blood red rage against solid gold detestment. "You can't possibly expect me to agree to do it."

It wasn't frustrating for Gran to hear Artemis reject her repeatedly, she'd expected it, after two years Gran knew the brunette well. Well enough to know what buttons she had to press. She met Artemis' piercing gaze unaffected. "Have you seen him again? Steve?" There was something in her voice, something forlorn and sober that showed she wasn't just asking to try and press any buttons, there was another reason.

It was the second reason why Artemis chose to answer her, "yes."

Gran took in a long breath, as though her body had suddenly stopped working all together and she'd had to do all the work herself. "Has he changed?" She asked breathlessly, struggling to get the words out, she also looked like she was struggling with not crying, tears dotting the bottom of her brown eyes.

Artemis wished that the conversation could have gone a different way, that it could have been more of a celebration but it was tainted by their previous unfinished conversation topic and everything would be stilted until they resolved it. Just like how it had been between her and Steve before Addy and Bucky locked the pair in a room and forced them to talk though it didn't really feel like something they needed to discuss, for Artemis the only thing that would keep their relationship move on would be if Gran simply accepted Artemis' decision.

Still, Art knew that part of Gran's intentions with that question were pure and she didn't feel completely cold-hearted towards her friend, slightly begrudged, but not heartless. She stretched out her shoulders, rolling them and preparing for the conversation which would delve into the subject of her and Steve. "He built me a farmhouse, so yeah, I'd say he's changed." That farm house came with huge connotations, every other show of commitment from Steve had been exclusively metaphorical but that house was a physical representation of his commitment to the life Amelia had wanted. He wanted it too, enough to build the foundations for it.

What Artemis had given Gran wasn't a lot, but it was enough. She brought up her clasped hands over her head, stopping them in front of her lips that had spread into a warm smile, ravens feet appearing in the corner of her eyes. "Good," she replied earnestly, genuinely overjoyed that it had worked out between Artemis and Steve, she'd always said they would.

The elder woman did her best to compose herself, though Artemis would rather call it 'putting on a mask'. She was such a pro at doing so that she was able to recognise when another person did it. There wasn't any actual composing involved, everything was just being pushed down where no one could see it, it was all being put behind a mask where no one would be able to see the truth. It was painful, shoving all of those phosphorus emotions down, all their jagged edges tearing open her insides but as long as it was all internal it was alright, no one ever saw, no one got hurt.

Maybe to someone else it might have seemed miraculous, the way her tears dried and her facial expression mellowed in under a second. The facial expression that transitioned on was one of monotone delight. She lowered her clasped hands back down onto her stomach, releasing one hand for a moment so that she could gesture towards her friend. "I can tell you're back with him, you seem brighter," Gran observed, "your powers are glowing right now, that must mean something good happened."

Artemis wondered if Gran had needed to put on the mask to hide that her own heart was breaking as she thought about what she was asking Art to do whilst conversing about something wonderful to the brunette.

Again the only thing Artemis could do was shrug her shoulders up and down. The words Gran had said to her were nice to hear, but because of the mask she was using to keep her honest thoughts concealed, Artemis' distrust hardened and cracked the skin on her shoulders. "We made up," _and made out_ , but Artemis decided not to add that part as it felt insanely inappropriate. "But it doesn't mean anything, not right now, the world's kind of on the brink of destruction."

"Do you love him?"

What kind of question was that? It felt almost rhetorical because Artemis knew that Gran was already well aware of the answer.

Artemis loved him the way the moon loves the sun, only able to truly glow because of the light he gave her. She loved him because he was a sunrise for her eternal midnight. Whenever she kissed him he tasted like the sun and her cold lips are warmed by his light and it remained to be the best miracle Art would ever experience. When they were together, night turned into dawn, the only moment in time when the sun and the moon are able to be together and they'd force time itself to pause there so that they could be together. Their love was powerful, and unique, and above all else, it was theirs. So, did Artemis love Steven Grant Rogers?

"Yes," she stated vocally, confidently, feeling herself begin to glow brighter and she just hoped that Gran knew it was because of the light she, like the moon, reflected off of Steve, her sun. "I never stopped, did I?" Artemis asked, sending out her own rhetorical question and earning a tight smile from Gran who gave a small shake of her head; no, she hadn't.

There was a bitterness to Gran's smile that Artemis knew was a bit of honesty leaking through the mask. It wasn't a lot, but it was enough for her to go off. Artemis came to her own conclusion on what that jaundiced tinge to her smile signified, the brunette assuming that it related to some sort of sorrow, sorrow that such a special and unique love had to come to such a loathly end, both Steve and Amelia deserved better. But it didn't have to end that way, because of those reasons and more, Artemis refused to let it end in such a heignous way. "I know what you're trying to do with this conversation, and it won't work. I can't do it. He just got me back, and I , him."

"If you truly loved him, you'd do it," Gran explained, unsurprised when Artemis was seemingly stunned by her words.

"How can you say that? How can you say any of this?" It had become even more clear to Gran that Art was incapable of seeing things from her viewpoint which is why she continued to fight against her, Gran knew that if Artemis had witnessed the horrors of the elderly woman's past then she wouldn't hesitate to do what Gran was asking. The sad truth was that if Artemis continued to defy her, then she would see everything Gran was doing her best to avoid, and when Art would finally be ready, it would be far too late. "You're asking me to _kill myself_." For Gran, the way the brunette phrased her question seemed a simplification of what she was asking, but for Artemis it was the most disgusting part of Gran's request.

"I am asking you to save the man we love," Gran responded with just as much aggression and pitch as Art had, clearly as annoyed as the brunette at all the assumptions being thrown around, the understanding they once shared as friends gone like sand blown from their palms. As they looked at one another, they both seemed to be hit with the intense sensation that their friendship might actually be ending, perhaps if one of them was given the chance to talk again, to yell, then it might have, but luckily for the both of them they were saved by Captain America himself, who wandered inside the room.

"Amelia?" He called out when he was in the doorway, curious and a little bit scared because Art hadn't given him much information to go on other than telling him where to find her and when, the only information he'd managed to gather was from her facial expression at the time which showed fear more than anything else. He wasn't sure what to expect inside the room and he was both relieved and unnerved which had him pausing apprehensively in the doorway.

Artemis noticed the way her soldier was pausing in the doorway, and then she looked over towards Gran, more interested to see the elder woman's reaction, and she wasn't disappointed if overwhelmed was what Art had been expecting. She seemed to be having an inner war, clutching at her mask with frail hands, trying to keep it together as it continued to crack, her heart beating a million miles a minute as emotions rose and rose and rose, an unstoppable torrent drowning her insides and it started to leak anywhere it could. Her eyes, mostly. Though she was doing her best to keep the flood inward and invisible, Artemis could easily spot the way Gran's eyes started to tear up at the sight of Steve in the doorway.

 _After getting Art to promise to hear her out, the two moved to sit down on the porch. It creaked loudly beneath them, the sound accompanied by far away splashes whilst the brunette stared at her elder friend with concern. A part of her was still feeling rushed, like she needed to get in the car and leave to the airport soon, but she tried to keep that worry hidden away because her friend was obviously anxious about something._

 _Gran took in a deep breath before finally confessing what she'd secretly known throughout their entire two years together, her expression sullen because the elder woman was quite sad that the time had come for the reveal. She had thought that they'd have more time, the one year and a bit not nearly enough on reflection. "I know what's coming," she started off her explanation, trying to be precise with her words so that Art wouldn't doubt her, "your dreams, they're real, Artemis. They're your connection with the Space Stone, it's crying out for help, trying to push you to join with your friends again so you can not only save it, but the entire universe."_

" _Wait, what?" The brunette had to repeat the words over and over in her head repeatedly, Gran revealing she knew information that Artemis couldn't ever remember telling her about and it came out so unexpectedly as well that Art had a hard time believing what she was hearing. "Who are you?"_

 _The grey-haired woman shook her head, the silver strands dancing in the breeze, some even reaching out and stroking her cheek. She ignored them just as she'd ignored Artemis questions, continuing to speak her thoughts, "and I'm sorry Artemis, I've done my best to prepare you for this, I wish we'd had more time but… you need to go. Go back to your friends, see them- see_ _ **him**_ _one last time, and then, I need you to kill yourself." Even Gran winced as she finally revealed what was required of Artemis for her to save the universe, she'd said it quickly, rushing out the words so that they could be out in the open rather than trapped inside of her lungs where they'd palpated for the past two years. It still wasn't easy, but Gran had never expected her mission to be easy, nothing desired so heavily was ever something easily achieved._

" _ **What**_ _?" Kill herself? Artemis tried to think over the words and what they could have meant, because they couldn't have meant that Gran wanted her to die, to wipe herself from existence, that would just be too cruel. Maybe she meant that she needed Art to perform some hardship, something that would make her feel like dying, like running a marathon or, hopefully, something as simple as that. She'd possibly do such a thing for Gran, she definitely owed the old woman that. However, if it was the first thing, then Artemis wouldn't owe such a person anything._

" _It's the only way, and the only time that you can do it. I've thought it over so many times. If you end your life then the Space Stone will end as well, because of your connection. I can't ask you to do it now, you need to see him again. But that's all I can give you, after that, you must kill yourself." Gran still hadn't looked at Artemis, and that made everything so much worse because her friend was_ _ **ashamed**_ _and that meant she was being honest. Gran honestly wanted Artemis to… kill herself._

 _The brunette couldn't take it anymore, being near the woman who was supposed to be her friend yet was asking for her to do such a thing, it was like she was sat stationary in a cloud of poison. She jumped up from her seat beside Gran and took a few steps away until she felt like she was at a safe distance away. Gran observed her movements in her peripheral vision, noticing that Artemis had automatically taken a defensive stance as though the old woman was going to pounce and attack her._

 _Artemis raised up a hand, pointed a finger, and aimed it at Gran, it was a warning, "I'm going to ask you one more time, who the hell are you?"_

" _You want a name? I'm afraid I can't give you one, I've gone by so many by now. But that's beside the point, please listen to me." Gran had been honest with her answer, not wanting to bother giving an official name because names were something she'd struggled with for a long time, and it wasn't just names, it was identities. There was plenty of time for her to try and figure out that riddle, whereas there wasn't enough time for her to try and make her request okay, all she could do was try and concentrate on how it was necessary instead. "I have so little time, this would have been easier telling you over pancakes. But listen to me, you promised you would." That was enough to clamp Artemis' mouth tightly shut, Gran had known it would be. "A part of your soul is connected with the Space Stone, you are it as much as it is you, that's why you can communicate with it and why it helps guide you sometimes. Thanos is coming, and when he does, he will destroy half of the Universe using a gauntlet which has the Space Stone on it among the other Infinity Stones. We just need to destroy one of them, and you're death is the easiest way to do so. You_ _ **need**_ _to sacrifice yourself. Do it, do it to save everyone, to save Steve."_

 _Once she was sure that Gran had finished, she proceeded to open her mouth and speak the first thought in her head, "don't you dare speak his name, not until you tell me yours."_

" _It's been years since anyone asked me that, I'm not sure if I can even remember." Gran knew that Artemis had already coined onto who she once was, before she became Gran. It was something easy to guess because there was only one person who could know such things both about the future, and about the brunette. "AS09 at first, I think, then Amelia. Or maybe it was Artemis."_

" _This… this isn't happening." But even Artemis struggled with denying it entirely because it did make some sort of sense, they were quite similar, impossibly so but Artemis had always just told herself that it was okay because it meant they were great friends. All the stuff that she'd told her… her lover that had died, did that mean Steve? That's what Gran had been saying, that by sacrificing herself she'd be saving him. And then there was everything else that they'd talked about, everything that Gran had said to her, it was all things her future self was saying. It hurt Artemis' brain to think about, that was clear as she raised up one hand and pulled it through her hair, tugging harshly on the roots as though the pain would clear up anything._

" _But it is," Gran responded, some pity being found in her tone because even the elder woman couldn't imagine how hard it was for her younger self to come to terms with the fact that she was talking to her older self. She stood up from her own spot, wanting to comfort Artemis but knowing that there was very little she could do to help her because she was actually the catalyst on that occasion, all she could do was reinforce what she'd been saying before. "You don't need to believe me right now, that's fine. You will soon, and that's when you need to make the decision. It's the only way to save his life, that's why I'm here."_

 _ **That's why I'm here**_ _, that was what Gran had said, she'd just confessed to literally travelling back in time to ask her past self to die, all for Steve. "I thought we were done sacrificing ourselves for him?"_

 _Her older self smiled down at her, it was knowing, and it told Artemis so many things that she wasn't ready to hear from anyone else but Steve. Artemis had implied that her and Steve were done forever, that there wasn't going to be any fixing, that they were never going to see one another again, but Gran knew what was waiting for her in Scotland. And though she didn't know what would happen at the Avenger's base, or if Artemis would go to Wakanda, she knew that if the brunette did follow Gran's teachings then she would be able to form another_ _ **something**_ _with Steve._

" _Making stupid sacrifices, yes. But this isn't stupid, this is love." Killing her baby and risking her life unnecessarily had all been stupid, but sacrificing herself to - not only save half the universe - but to also save Steve, that could never be stupid._

 _Artemis stared into Gran's eyes, trying to find any sign that what she was saying was all just one big joke, a farce, a prank she'd cunningly plotted after learning some secret stuff about her somehow. But no, Gran didn't look amused in any way, she looked like she wanted something more than she wanted air. She wanted Artemis to kill herself, more than she wanted to live. "_ _ **This**_ _is not real."_

 _As Artemis turned away, Gran took another step closer to her, bending her back slightly so that she remained at least in the corner of the brunette's eyes. "You've asked me for my name, so let me ask you yours." That caught her attention enough to get her looking back fully at the elderly lady, looking at her determined expression that declared her spirit persistent and her heart tenacious, that had always been who Gran was. "Are you AS09 a child who saw far too much blood at too young an age? Are you Artemis, a quiet woman whose life revolves around dogs and being mundane? Because I can tell you for sure that neither of those people will save this planet, will save their soldier. But Amelia, if you're Amelia Stark, then you just might be able to do it because Amelia Stark, she's a warrior, the kind of warrior that will crawl her way to victory after having every bone in her body broken. She's hope, she_ _ **has**_ _hope. The world needs Amelia Stark right now. So who are you?"_

 _It should have warmed the brunette's heart to know that eventually the record of self-hatred did stop, that their really was some self love to be found in herself, some faith for herself. It should have brought a smile to her face and tears to her eyes, but in that situation, it made her even more scared of Amelia Stark. Artemis had gotten comfortable in her 'mundane' life, it was comfortable in the same way a bed of straw was comfortable, it wasn't luxurious but a person could sleep on it so it served its purpose. She didn't want to be a warrior anymore, that had already cost her so much… too much. She'd rather stay as Artemis, as normal, as boring, as_ _ **safe**_ _._

 _She'd rather pretend like the entire conversation hadn't happened so she could continue being Artemis without being worried that she was killing half the universe. It was all mad anyway, she was dreaming of purple giants and her best friend for the past two years confessed to being her from the future, both of those things were impossible, so therefore, they weren't real. "Whatever medication you've forgotten to take, go take it. I'll be back tomorrow and I want to hear nothing more about this." She gave her instructions strictly as she grabbed her suitcase once more and began to walk over to her car._

" _Amelia please," Gran begged, reaching out with a hand but Artemis shut her car door and ended the conversation there. The elder woman watched as her younger self drove off and under her breath she whispered: "I'm so sorry."_

"It's fine Steve, come on in," Artemis wandered over to Steve and grabbed a hold of his hand, beginning to pull him further into the room, closer to Gran, "I want you to meet someone."

Artemis wondered silently how long it must have been since her old self had seen Steve, how many years she'd had to live through knowing that she could never hold her soldier again. It broke her heart, and if Artemis dared to dwell on that thought for another second then she might have decided to do what Gran had requested, if only to ensure that Steve would live. But Steve was going to live anyway, because their plan to get the stone from Vision's head was going to work. She stopped the soldier in front of the old woman, "Gran, this is Steve. Steve, this is Gran."

The two looked at each other, analysed each other. Steve gave a curt smile, his awkward way of saying hello to the woman who had taken care of his woman for two years after he'd destroyed her, and then another second of looking at her he started to notice certain things about her. Her eyes were dark, they'd be as dark as his Amelia's were it not for the way they dulled, though he couldn't deny seeing the way they'd confusedly lit up a tiny bit as her eyes settled on his. Then there were the freckles on her face, and how the freckle of her left cheek looked like the scorpio constellation just like how the freckles on Amelia's cheeks did. She didn't really look like Amelia though, her skin sagging over any sharp lines there once might have been. He had his suspicions, but he couldn't catch onto it quick enough.

The way Gran looked at Steve though, there was no hiding what she was going through. The tears were vocal, glistening at the bottom of her eyes and threatening to slip down her cheeks. The wet shimmering teardrops weren't the stars of the show though, no, that light was encapsulated in her eyes, like a flame just birthed in a dark hollow room, a star just born in an empty cosmos, the first bit of life on a world of death. She looked at him like he was all of those things and more to her, like he gave her all of those things and more. She looked overwhelmed, but above all else, she looked in love. And for the first time in a while, Artemis was able to understand every emotion filtering the old woman's gaze because she felt the exact same thing everytime she looked at Steve too. Of course she did, they were the same person after all.

"Oh my word," she mumbled under her breath, even her voice suddenly sounded more lively. Gran was doing her best to take in every feature about that man, feeling like he was some sort of gift from the Gods. She'd wanted to go see him so many times but had forced herself not to, she didn't want to change the past too much, but god had it been torture, knowing that the man she loved with every inch of her being was out there in the world and she could go see him again after losing him in such a tragic way, it felt like being in a snow storm and purposefully staying in that snow storm though there was a perfectly good and warm house in front of her, it felt like freezing to death. "You- you're-" Gran couldn't help herself as she reached out with a shaking hand, a hand blistered by old age, wrinkled and pale, looking almost skeletal as she placed it lightly against the super soldier's cheek. She'd only gotten to see him bearded once, in Scotland after the aliens attacked, but then she'd chosen to go home rather than reunite at the Avenger's base with the old team. That decision haunted her for so many years, and in that moment the regret hit her once more because she'd never been able to celebrate the wondrous glory of Steve Roger's with a beard.

"Hello," she'd tried to think of what words to say to him, whether she should tell him who she was or not, but Gran knew she shouldn't, so she settled for saying hello to him. It was a simple word, and it hurt that she couldn't tell him everything she truly wanted to say: 'I'm so sorry I left you, I'm so sorry I didn't give us the time we needed, I'm so sorry about Noah and all the children we didn't have because I chose to leave you in Scotland, I'm so sorry that you had to die because I was selfish. I'm so sorry. And I love you, I didn't get to say it then so I will say it now, I'll scream it from the rooftops, I love you, I love you, I love you.'

He wasn't her Steve, that was what stopped her from declaring such things. Her Steve belonged to a different outcome, her Steve was dead and that gave her life only one purpose, to ensure that the one in front of her, the one belonging to Artemis, didn't die. So, as much as she wanted to just stare at her man and stay with him until her dying days, she had to remember why she was there. Which meant leaving that Steve behind, "I- I should go." Gran dropped her hand, doing her best to ignore the very confused expression on Steve's face. She proceeded to walk closer to Artemis, stopping at her side so that she could whisper in her ear, "the reason why I'm asking you to do this, is so I can save us as well. Don't forget that I'm from a timeline where he dies, and it is so _cold_ , and so lonely. I'm begging you to make the right decision."

Gran's words had Artemis' feeling like the blood in her veins had stopped. It was certainly something she'd ignored until that moment, the fact that Gran, the person desperately asking Artemis to sacrifice herself, was the product of a timeline where she loses Steve. The woman she'd known for the past two years, the woman who repeatedly guided Artemis into becoming someone not as broken as she was, was simply Artemis in a world where she'd lived a life of solitude away from everyone she loved and everyone that ever loved her. She was an Artemis who never got to fully grow up and accept what had happened to her. Looking down at the floor, she found herself feeling real sorrow for the elder woman, because she never got the chance to be with Steve again, never got to feel his light radiate her body ever again because she chose to not follow the soldier and he died because of that decision.

Gran continued to walk out the door, never looking back, and as she opened up the door she whispered mostly to herself, "if it isn't already too late."

Steve watched the curious woman leave before turning to Artemis who had been staring at the floor with a melancholy expression on her face, "who was she?" He asked, gaining her attention. At first Artemis wondered what he meant, because she'd definitely told him it was Gran, but it seemed he'd also figured out there was more to her. Art supposed she would have been a little bit disappointed in her soldier if he wasn't able to recognise her at such an old age.

"Steve, Art, you need to get down here quickly," Sam explained into the comms, a bleak reminder of the alien army getting ready at the Wakandan border.

Artemis opened her mouth ready to ask if Addy had retrieved her suit yet when Steve knowingly held up in his hand something red, blue and black. She stared at the item, it was made up of some sort of fabric which was similar to leather yet looked thicker, it was familiar but like something she'd seen in a dream. It took her a moment before it finally registered to her that the object in her soldiers hand was the suit her brother had made for her over two years ago, the suit she'd only worn once before. That time being, of course, when Steve left her and when Noah officially became dead. There were some changes made to it..

"Rhodey brought it apparently, thought you might need it," Steve explained, and there was an innocence to Steve's voice that told her he had no idea what that suit truly meant.

Her stomach had dropped to the floor as she stared at it, it looked like Tony had fixed it up, cleaned out the blood. Or maybe it was a new suit entirely. Either way, when she looked at it, it just brought back those horrible memories like white noise screeching in her ears. But it didn't have to signify that.

The longer she looked at the suit, the more she realised that it was just a suit, like her leather jacket it was just a piece of clothing. Really the only thing important about it was that it was made by her brother, a part of him was put into that suit, and she'd need that more than ever when fighting off the alien army. That's all it was, a suit. A damn good one as well.

Artemis reached out and took it into her hands, feeling the thick material between her fingers, enjoying the way the blue and the red and the black all mixed together. It reminded her of her family, and that was exactly why she'd asked Tony for those colours. She allowed a smile to curve the side of her lip upwards. "I'm starting to think Rhodey's built up a collection of my clothes," Art mused as she recounted that this was the second item Rhodey had secretly stored away 'just in case'.

"A simple thank you would have sufficed," Rhodey suddenly commented into the comm, making Artemis' expression melt into wide-eyed panic. She'd turned her comm off whilst going to meet with Gran, but Steve hadn't.

The soldier let out a laugh that he didn't realise Artemis sorely needed after her conversation with herself (it still felt weird), he then bent over and pressed a chaste kiss on her forehead, "suit up."

Her hands tightened around the fabric in her hands as she realised that the fight was about to begin, the war, the means to an end or the beginning of something horrible. It was the moment Gran had been warning Artemis about, she assumed. And whilst that terrified her, she managed to find courage in Steve, in the suit in her hands, in the knowledge that Tony was probably out doing something towards their cause as well. She found courage in the fact that she was there when Gran wasn't, things were already different, Steve couldn't possibly die because she was there to stop it and they were going to get Vision's stone out. Everything was going to be okay.

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 **A/N: So, I, umm, I sort of made it to 1000 REVIEWS! OH MY GODDDDDDDD! You guys already know my story, you know how overwhelmed I am about this project becoming so huge when it was only supposed to be a 'help me find the will to live' sort of thing. This is amazing, astounding, and I wish I could find the words to summarise just how much pride you give me, how much you all make me believe in myself a little bit more each day. I'm not going to write a massive paragraph because I know you all must be growing tired of my sentimental mumblings, so I'll just leave it the way I always have and always will: THANK YOU.**

 **I'm also going to start doing daily uploads again this week because I've finally finished the final chapter. You'll have the last one on Friday, and then I'll be moving on until other projects until Avengers 4.**

 **To Glory0216, thank you, I still can't believe how much this story has grown and it's definitely built up my belief towards my writing abilities. I know I'm not perfect but at least I know that I have the potential to write something amazing which people can identify with ^^**

 **To RavagerRoseWilson, Gran is sort of helping in a messed up kind of way? I feel like she's not like Aaron, she's not being cruel to Amelia, she's simply being… concerned? That's the best word I can think of right now lol. And thank you!**

 **To Assbitch67, wow, I can't believe you took the 1000th review for yourself. You get sneak peeks, have you not taken enough of this story! Ahaha I'm kidding, thank you for letting me reach the 1000th milestone Mexican Twin! Anyway, I'm going to reply to your first review now: Are you trying to tell me that if the world was going to shit and Captain America, with the beard and everything, offered to give you a hug, you'd refuse? DON'T GIVE ANY SPOILERS FOR THAT DAMN LEAK OR OUR FRIENDSHIP WILL BECOME VERY STRAINED! Sorry about giving the title away .-.**

 **To Pitspee, I KNOW RIGHT, FUCK YOU THANOS! My heart completely broke when he killed Gamora, and I was filled with so much hatred because, well, it wasn't love. We will actually see Tony soon, funnily enough. But sadly Amelia isn't there to save him I'm afraid, I wish she was, but there is technically another OC that has a close connection to Tony with him. I'll try and include a pun moment because you're totally right, Punny Steve needs to be more of a thing and is totally what he'd do. Sadly I've already finished part five but I'll note down on my plan for part six that he makes a pun ;)**

 **To LoveFiction2018, thank you!**

 **To SnowPaws101, ahaha it doesn't matter what chapter you post it on, I normally just assume it's for the latest one anyway. I hope you have luck soon with creating a new account because your story sounds very intriguing. I'd love to help you with it, and I'm not going to speak for Assbitch67 but I'm fine with you taking INSPIRATION from my story, so as long as you don't steal traits or entire scenes, I'm cool with whatever ^^ I hope that makes sense and didn't come across as rude. And you don't need to publish anything if you don't want to, I didn't post this for a while and I did so on a whim. And with regards to updating, you don't need to be like me, I update regularly cause I have a lot of free time and writing is the only way to keep myself from falling down a dark hole lol.**

 **To NinjaPenguinLover, yup! And it's amazing! I'm so happy for Amelia and Steve.**

 **To Faora, I figured they'd be done holding back after the two years so it only made sense, I'm super happy that you liked it though. And with regards to the Snappening, I can't say anything cause spoilers, sorry :)**

 **To Sam0728, ahaha yeah I'm sorry it was so long, though most of it was the author's note to be honest. It's weird, the chapters I always worry are going to be super short end up being the longest. I was worried the last chapter was going to be really short but it ended up being almost 9,000 words lol.**

 **To xLaBellaVita, I plan to have an OC with Tony so all of his side of the story will be told in my Peter Parker fanfiction, but I'm glad to hear you like the snapshots Amelia is given and don't think they're boring or whatever. I always worry that if I do too much plot people will get bored for some reason. Also I'm glad to hear you're feeling excitement not dread lol.**

 **To CrumblingUniverses, thank you so much, I'm glad I'm writing something enjoyable. And SAME, dreams have always played major roles with my stories because there's just so much you can do with them, y'know? And yep, the fight begins next chapter so prepare yourself. AND THE VIRTUAL HUG WAS AMAZING THANK YOU! It's funny because today I had an interview at a After School Club for a Playworker job which will be working with kids, I really need a job and I'm actually qualified but I'm also terrified. And like, it makes sense, it does, that because of my past that I'd be okay with kids but I'm always scared that something might leak out, a residue from how I was treated and brought up as a kid. I know that probably doesn't make sense but I just… I don't want to damage someone like I was and still am. I'd do the tattoo thing but I'm afraid I don't have the time anymore, I need a job and fast, I'm barely hanging on right now. Also, I've been thinking about publishing, but I just don't think anyone would be interested in what I have to write, none of my original stories anyway. Idk, guess I'm still doubting my writing abilities. Sorry if all the stuff I've just said sounds really pessimistic, I don't mean to be.**

 **To Shugokage, thank you for reviewing!**

 **And a humongous thank you to everyone that read the chapter! See you tomorrow!**


	119. Chapter One Hundred and Thirteen

**CHAPTER ONE-HUNDRED AND THIRTEEN**

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"Do not be afraid to bare your teeth - you were not brought into this world covered in blood to become a gentle, tamed thing."

― **Nichole McElhaney**

* * *

Artemis stepped out into the Wakandan sun, surrounded by all of the guards and she looked around awkwardly trying to find people she actually knew. It was like a party that no one wanted to participate in, a mass of people all stood around waiting to get on the ships that would take them into the field, closer to the border, towards the party. It's not like anyone was going to bring the party to them. The brunette continued to anxiously slip her way through the crowd, trying to keep her eyes low (she was surrounded by well over a hundred strong, fierce, women and it was a tad intimidating) whilst also inspecting the face of each person she passed, trying to find her friends.

She thought it'd be easier to find a super soldier in a crowd of people, he was like a big golden sword in a haystack so he shouldn't have been so hard to find. It wasn't until she heard Addy's voice, that had somehow become familiar to her in under a day - she supposed it was the unique joyous lilt that was always maintained in her voice - that she was finally able to locate her friends.

They were all stood waiting to get inside one of the Wakandan transport ships, though Sam and Rhodey were stood at the side with their suits on so she assumed they'd be flying rather than joining everyone else. She also noticed that Bruce was nowhere to be found, but that didn't seem very out of the ordinary. She remembered that, back when they were all a team together, the scientist would stay out of the fight unless there was a 'code green', which basically meant they needed the Hulk to arrive and smash some things.

Addy let out a low whistle as Artemis arrived, the noise making most of the surrounding people turn to face the brunette and she suddenly felt very uncomfortable as they all stared her up and down, inspecting the suit that Tony had made her for the first time. It was similar to the suit Black Widow wore, most of the outfit black with blue and red lines crossing across the chest and down the arms and legs, there was another row of lines going around, outlining her body and those lines actually had a purpose, storing all of the powers that she accidentally released so she could reuse the energy, already they were beginning to glow white. On her head she had a headpiece that looked very similar to a tiara that was the same colour as the rest of her outfit. She looked like a fully fledged superhero, and it was only slightly embarrassing.

"Whoa," Steve commented accidentally, the word slipping out before he'd been able to actually formulate words. Far too taken by the beautiful woman which stood before him, his eyes taking in every inch of her and appreciating the way the suit hugged her newly formed curves and brought attention once more to all of her sharp edges, making her alluring in the same way that the night sky was, everyone stared up at it in awe but no one would want to actually be up there unless they craved for suffocation and death. That had always been a part of Amelia's charm though, that she was so beautiful, but also looked like she could kill a man. She had killed men, many of them. The darkness in her eyes would never let Steve forget that little fact, but he didn't care about what her past held, only her future.

As Artemis arrived by her soldier's side, Addy ran off to go see Bucky, leaving the two of them alone but it wasn't awkward. They'd just spent the night together and it was almost as though they'd just pressed play on their relationship that had been paused over the passing two years, like it had never truly ended.

The brunette looked down bashfully, rubbing her hands across her stomach that felt knotted on the inside. "How do I look?" She asked, not really wanting to hear his answer, afraid that he'd say she looked stupid and like she was trying too hard to be like him and Tony. In a way she was.

"You look phenomenal," Steve responded breathlessly, his eyes going over her for the millionth time and finding that despite how many times he did look at her, she never dulled in his eyes, she became more familiar, but that only made her glow even brighter.

"The blue's meant to represent you, and the red for Tony," she explained as she put out her arms, showing off more parts of the suit for him to inspect. Once more Artemis was reminded that she would have been able to explain that to him years ago if things had ended differently. She cast her eyes downward and dropped her arms. "It was meant to be some big surprise all those years ago."

Steve noticed the sudden sullen expression taking its place on her face and he wanted to shoo it away immediately, believing that it had no place on his girls face. The soldier stepped closer towards her, reaching out with his hand and stroking his fingers down her wrist before taking her hand into his, tugging on it twice, until Artemis begrudgingly took a step closer to him. She did look around, trying to make sure that there wasn't anyone around to notice the small, yet significant, touch. Wanda already knew and that was far too many people becoming involved in a relationship meant for just her and Steve. The soldier didn't seem as worried about who saw, smiling down at the shyness she was displaying. "Well it's still a surprise, and a pretty good one." He did one last tug on her hand, pulling her even closer.

Her wide eyes met his and she saw boyish charm encapsulated in his blues, the kind of charm that would have any poor girls heart skipping a beat or two, Artemis found herself a victim to it as well, despite how much she'd matured over the past two years. She supposed when it came to baby blues like his it really didn't matter what age anyone was. The brunette rolled her eyes, trying to hide her shyness beneath a mask of hubris. "You like it then?"

"No I hate it," Steve revealed with enough honesty that Artemis pulled her head back to look in surprise at his sudden change of tone at her outfit, he was still smiling. Or, Art noticed, was it a smirk? "It makes me want to leave this battle right now, take you to our farm house, and have my way with you." After hearing his words, she knew for sure that it was a smirk.

She found her lips creasing upward in one corner, she was smirking too, it was difficult not to when her soldier was putting such images in her head, images she wasn't entirely opposed to. "I'm willing to take you up on that offer," she vocalised.

"Well I'm not," Natasha disagreed from behind the two, voice loud enough to get the brunette to jump away from the soldier in some failed attempt to try and hide what was going on between her and the soldier, it was useless though as she'd clearly already seen them together and even heard the lustful words they'd shared. Steve still had his hand around Artemis' though and it seemed he wasn't very willing to give it up. The blonde stared down at the conjoined limbs, raising an eyebrow towards the touch, "so you guys are a thing again I take it?"

"I'll let you deal with her," Steve said lowly into Artemis' ear, finally dropping her hand so he could make a quick escape. He wouldn't really know what to say, and Steve didn't want to risk saying something wrong that Artemis didn't like, or something that Nat didn't like, so he figured it would be a lot easier if he left the conversation to Artemis.

"'Deal with her'? Careful, Rogers," Nat warned, and Steve raised up both his arms as he retreated, leaving a slightly open-mouthed Artemis who was very offended that Steve was abandoning her when he was the one not being careful with his touches and words. Once Steve was gone, Nat turned her head so she could stare at Artemis, waiting for an explanation.

"We're something," Artemis confessed, shrugging her shoulders as she let the two words slip out of her lips. They were the only words she could really say.

"Good, it was starting to get boring watching the two of you pine away for one another," Nat replied simply, thankfully not making a big deal about it and Artemis knew that was mostly for her, Nat knew that it would only unnerve Art even more if she started sharing all her thoughts. Her relationship with Steve was familiar, but it was also something new that she needed to figure out on her own.

"I could say the same about you and Bruce," Artemis responded, elbowing her friend and though Nat knew what Art was trying to do with changing the conversation topic onto her, she didn't entirely mind it because she'd been wanting to talk to her best friend about the shy scientist ever since last night. They couldn't have an in depth one, not until the fight was over, but Nat could settle for a short chat hidden amongst banter.

The blonde shrugged her shoulders with ease, confident that she wasn't the guilty one between her and Bruce. "I'm an open book, I've just decided this time around I'm going to let him make the first move," she explained and Art was impressed at how she was handling the way things had happened, Bruce had left and returned out of nowhere only to tell them the Universe was in danger, it wasn't exactly romantic. Plus, Bruce had left her, Artemis knew how much it hurt when a beloved abandoned someone.

What Artemis didn't know, was that Nat had already had her fill of abandonment issues from both Steve and Art. She'd had to deal with both of their problems, had to witness the destruction a failed attempt at love brought like some sort of demonic beast rising from hell. It was hard, and horrible, watching her two friends lay waste to themselves because they couldn't love someone else, and it made Nat decide that she'd never do that. It was sort of cruel, but Nat came to the conclusion that she had more pride in herself than to do the things that Steve and Art had done.

"Very smart," the brunette commented before turning back to her friend, hoping that she could answer a thought she'd had earlier, "where is your scientist hiding anyway?"

"Getting his suit on," Nat revealed with her lips crooked, as though she was fighting off a smile and that had Artemis wondering what was going on more than her words had. Maybe Bruce was going to join the fight after all, she wouldn't be surprised if any second a mighty Hulk roar would echo through the lands, in fact, Artemis found herself waiting for it in anticipation.

"Amelia, Nat," Steve called from the front of one of the ships, waving his hand in the air and gesturing for them to get on board and join his side. It was strange, but it suddenly all became _real_ in that moment. They were going into battle, they _were_ going into battle, a battle that promised no victories. Artemis felt her stomach give up, collapsing on the floor and making her wish to do the same on a bed somewhere far far away with Steve.

And then she told herself, _no_. She wasn't going to stand there and burden herself with worries and concerns, she was going to step into the battlefield and fight for not only her life, not even just Steve's, but _everyones_. And she was going to win.

"Let's get this show on the road," her friend mumbled beside her, spinning her neck slightly in order to crack it and then she took the first step onto the hovering ship, Artemis following her movements.

Once Natasha and Artemis stepped onto the ship they moved to stand at the front with Steve, both of them trying their best to put on a brave face and keep it there. The brunette automatically came to stand next to Steve, and though the soldier kept a calm gaze fixed on the border, he did reach out with his hand to hook a finger around hers. They both knew not to be too obnoxious with their touches, they didn't want to bring everyone else and their opinions into the relationship just yet though Natasha had managed to find out (she was a super spy, she would have found out anyway).

Artemis kept her eyes on the horizon too, and despite the destruction that was in front of her, she couldn't stop her lips rising up into a smile as she felt Steve's familiar touch, the simple gesture enough to settle any nerves bubbling up in her core.

"How we looking, Bruce?" Nat asked into the comms as they set off, and her words were enough to get Artemis to look around, expecting to see the Hulk jump over them any second. She began to hear the large pounding of feet against the ground but when she finally located the source, instead of something big and green, she spotted something big, red, and mechanical. She hated the way her brain instantly convinced itself for a second that maybe Tony was in that suit when Nat had made it very clear that it was someone else, perhaps someone that could be considered even more surprising.

"Yeah, I think I'm getting the hang of it," Bruce replied back into the comms, his words loud in their ears as he struggled to keep his excitement at bay. He was in the Hulkbuster, a suit Tony had made with the scientists help as a 'just in case' for any situation where the Hulk lost control, it had only been used once before when they were facing against Ultron, but it definitely sounded like Bruce was having a lot of fun inside the suit. As Bruce used the rockets on the hands and feet to fly over the ships, he released another wild hoorah and though his screaming was starting to hurt Artemis' ears she decided to let him have his fun. "Wow! This is amazing, man. It's like being the Hulk without actually…" He'd been charging forward confidently when Bruce met his biggest foe in the battle, rocks. He tripped over and slid on the ground, the giant mechanical suit causing dirt to rise up. He remained on the ground for a moment, Artemis assumed it was due to shame that he allowed himself to lay in his mistake as the rest of the ships passed by. Bruce had been sure to keep his head low so he wouldn't have to see the judging expressions of all the composed Wakandan warriors that had just watched his failure. "I'm okay. I'm okay." He reassured into the comms, voice much quieter than it had been before.

Flying above everyone was Sam and Rhodey, the pair of pilots soaring ahead and getting a better look at what was happening outside of the barrier, it wasn't long before War Machine came back with some information. "I've got two heat signatures breaking through the tree line," he relayed into the comms.

"I think my friend Gaga is on her way to see me, how nice," Artemis quipped, gaze already beginning to sharpen at the thought of her reunion with the alien she'd fought against in Scotland. That time she'd been less prepared, just waking up from a slumber so Art had been much less prepared to fight, but the brunette refused to make the same mistake twice. Before the dinner, when she'd been wandering the hallways searching for somewhere to hide, she'd gone over everything in her head, reminding herself of the knowledge that once upon a time was the only thing she'd ever known.

There was also something different about the fight that was going to happen compared to the fight that occured in Scotland, Artemis didn't plan on holding herself back.

"Gaga?" T'Challa asked from beside them as the ships finally arrived at the designated spot, turning sideways and tilting so that everyone on board the ship could slide their way onto the ground.

"I'll explain it to you later," Art said as they joined the rest of the warriors that were waiting on the field, ready to fight. T'Challa did his kingly duties, going to greet the large man that seemed to be a leader himself. Whilst he did that, Artemis looked over to Steve and was met with him rolling his eyes, she gently punched his side, understanding that the eye roll was meant for her and her insatiable need to nickname every foe they encountered.

Looking back ahead, Artemis' eyes spotted the two Rhodey had told the team about. She was sure one of them was Gaga though the other certainly wasn't Gollum, he was far too large. Her eyes settled on Gaga's and though she was far away, Artemis was sure that the alien warrior was looking back at her too. "We better go say hello," she mumbled and at her side, Steve nodded in agreement looking over to T'Challa and waiting for him to finish talking with the tribe members. Once he was done, T'Challa along with Steve, Natasha and Artemis, began to walk towards the barrier.

The closer they got the better Artemis got to see just how large Gaga's new friend was, he definitely wasn't someone she planned to fight later on, in fact, if she had to then she would go out of her way to ensure that Bruce was the one who fought Hulk 2.0 because she just didn't really see anyone else standing a chance against the goliath. She tried to hide her intimidation, keeping her dark eyes fixed on Gaga instead and the alien warrior unsurprisingly matched her stare, not even bothering to look at the rest, it seemed she was looking forward to a rematch as much as Artemis was.

"Hey there, I'm so glad to see you again," Artemis greeted, her voice a sugary sweetness that would have made Addy proud. She pointed down at her new and improved suit, "look, I even dressed up for our date."

"It will be stained with your blood by the end of the day," her reply was more aggressive than cringey, yet Art found herself cringing at the overly dark words.

"You really need to work on your date talk," the brunette replied and it clearly got on the warrior's nerve, which only pleased Artemis even more. The giant beside Gaga let out a gruff noise when she moved to step forward, that sound enough to snap her from her furious reverie and calm down. Proxima didn't do jokes, she did fighting and killing, and she was going to be sure to get that lesson ingrained into the brunette's head, she didn't care if she had to actually carve it into Artemis' brain with her bare hands.

"Where's your other friend?" Nat questioned, enjoying the reaction Gaga was giving Artemis so much that she decided to join in, less capable of hiding her smugness.

"You will pay for his life with yours," the alien vowed, revealing the news of what had happened to Gollum but after hearing it Artemis became confused. She thought over the last time they fought and the wounds that Gaga's friend had gotten, which weren't nearly as extensive as to what her shards had done to Gaga, so it didn't make sense for him to have died unless Natasha had managed to hit the ultimate weak spot on his alien body, but if Gollum had such a frail spot then surely he would have built some armour around it, they hadn't seemed like amateurs. Gaga moved on quickly, not stopping to mourn or explain her words, not allowing Artemis any more time to think on her suspicions as Gaga threatened them once more. "Thanos will have that stone."

"That's not gonna happen," Steve replied, not as great as the two girls at giving banter, he was much more straight with his answers. Much more honest, so when he said they were going to win, that meant they were going to win. At his side, Artemis nodded her head, supportive of her soldier and his words.

"You are in Wakanda now, Thanos will have nothing but dust and blood," T'Challa added, impressing Artemis as he showed no fear towards seeing aliens for the first time, instead he made sure to let the alien's know that he was the one who should be feared, and not just him, the country he ruled over. Gran had been right, Wakanda was a strong and unified country.

"We have blood to spare," Gaga raised up her sword, and for a moment the four of them just looked at the action with an empty gaze, but then the ground began to shake, and the jungle beyond the barrier let out a shriek as the metal alien ships began to open.

Steve, being the leader, was the first to turn around. It was time for them to return to their own army. Artemis turned around, ready to follow after him but Gaga decided to speak once more, the words she said finally having an affect on her, "You know you can't save him, and his blood will be on your hands." Art's body ran cold, like death itself had grasped her heart, the sickness she felt in her stomach similar to how she imagined rotting would feel. For a moment, she thought that Gaga was talking about Steve, like somehow she'd reached into her mind and found the one thing that she was most terrified of. It was enough to make her stop and turn back to face Gaga, afford the alien a reaction, one that she hoped would bring the alien plenty of regret. She felt that ice pump through her veins so she lit a fire, out of nothing she forced a flame to consume every inch of her body, reflecting in her eyes that fixated on Gaga. "The stone will be ours," Gaga continued, revealing that the 'he' she'd been talking about was Vision, not Steve.

It didn't matter who it was about though, not to Artemis who had already set her mind on ensuring there would be no deathst that night. "We'll see about that," she professed. Those were the only words she had to say, so Artemis turned back around and walked forward, meeting her friends who had kindly stopped walking to wait for her and when she joined them Steve immediately reached for her hand and rubbed a finger across it. She looked to him with that same fire matched in her eyes, that same determination, that same refusal to give Thanos what he wants.

He gave her hand a soft squeeze, and Artemis wondered for a moment how she could possibly have missed such a simple thing.

"They surrender?" Bucky asked as they joined the line of Wakandan armed forces - though they didn't really look armed with much, Artemis had learned to not doubt the technology they possessed.

"Not exactly," Steve answered as everyone moved into position, aligned with everyone else, Artemis having no choice but to stand at his side because he'd kept his hold on her hand. They were facing the barrier once more, and they looked just in time to see the hoard of alien monsters charging forwards. They looked more like animals than soldier's, they're movements violent even as they ran, they were just pawns. T'Challa and his army began to do some sort of chant, a few words Artemis was incapable of understanding that she supposed were meant to lift their spirits and harden their courage.

"What the hell?" Bucky asked, giving Artemis the reaction she'd expected from T'Challa as the metal-armed giant stared at the strange creatures, his first encounter with aliens not a very nice one.

"Someone please remind me why we chose to get out of retirement?" Addy asked, echoing Bucky's disbelief with the tone of her voice.

"Looks like you pissed her off," Nat commented, looking over to Art and the brunette scoffed in reaction.

"I prefer to think of it as 'we' pissed her off, we're a team remember," she argued, at as she looked at the blonde she noticed the wary expression on her best friend, then she noticed that the rest of the team were wearing matching masks. Except for Steve, the soldier who had stared death in the face too many times to be scared. "We'll be okay," she told everyone, trying to offer some comfort but it was difficult when she turned back to see the creatures attacking the barrier, the mass number of them able to break through somehow but not completely, most of their bodies being snapped in half by the barrier closing on them.

"They're killing themselves," Okoye observed in disbelief, her expression showing only pure disgust as they mindlessly continued to destroy their bodies in order to breach the barrier. Artemis looked over to Steve and the expression on his face broke her heart a little more, he wasn't shocked at what he saw, he'd seen soldiers killing themselves before and the mindless creatures doing it for Thanos was exactly the same as the horrors that had filled his adult life back in World War II, she looked to Addy and Bucky, wondering if it was just him who recognised it. It wasn't. Even Addy, the girl who always had a reason to smile, was staring stone-faced at the suicides happening in front of them all. It was war.

As some managed to break through alive, the guards in front of them pulled up what Artemis would call a cape, placing it in front of their bodies and from it, a shield was made, blue like the barrier. Just as she'd expected, they had hidden tricks everywhere. Then the warriors behind aimed their spears, reminding her of the way people would once fight in wars, having shielded men in the front whilst behind they would stick out their spears so anyone charging with a sword would only end up skewered. It seemed it wasn't just a defence tactic though, as T'Challa let out another chant which was then echoed, the warriors starting to shoot lasers from the spears.

From above, Sam and Rhodey tried to do something, killing any of the few creatures that managed to get through with their guns and other weapons. Rhodey even sent out a few rockets which managed to do their job of killing the creatures, but it also weakened the barrier. Once the explosion cleared, they all saw the creatures still persisting with their tactic, even if it meant setting their bodies on fire. It was almost like their bodies were some sort of tide, they moved like one, crashing against the barrier and then spreading around it when they couldn't get through.

"Cap, if these things circle the perimeter and get behind us there's nothing between them and Vision," Bruce observed, looking over at the few creatures which were beginning to circle around the barrier

"Then we better keep them in front of us," Steve replied, the most obvious tactic and really, it was the only thing they could do.

"How do we do that?" Okoye asked T'Challa, already well aware of the answer, she just didn't like it and was hoping her king might provide a different one.

"We open the barrier," T'Challa responded, and it was exactly what Okoye thought he would say. He began to communicate with Shuri in the comms, telling her to open a section of the barrier on his signal.

Whilst he did that, Artemis turned to face Steve, tugging on his hand to get his attention. "If you let them in, and let me at them, I can destroy most of them," she requested, sure that by using her powers she'd be able to do something for their cause. If she took out the first swarm then that would mean there'd be a lot less for the rest of everyone to fight, but she had to pick her moments, as she could only do what she was planning as long as her friends stayed out of the way. "Let me do this."

Steve looked down at his girl with his lips pressed in a straight line. Artemis doubted he'd agree to let her do it, it was a risk, and although he's always trusted her to be able to fight her own battles, he probably didn't trust her to run headfirst into a giant swarm of alien creatures out for the blood of anything living and human that they could find. But the thing was that Steve wanted to trust her, and he wanted her to know that he believed in her. Plus, in a fight like the one they were in, stupid and risky decisions could be the way to victory. When he'd jumped headfirst into a Hydra base to retrieve Bucky all on his own, that was a stupid and risky decision, but it had led to a victory. If he could do it, then there was no doubt in his mind that Artemis could as well.

He began to shake his head, making Artemis think that he was rejecting her idea until he spoke, "you don't need my permission."

Behind her she heard the cock of two guns, the brunette turned her head, first spotting Bucky who had his gun aiming towards the alien's, and then Addy who was doing exactly the same thing. "We'll have your back," the strawberry blonde explained, smiling. She gave a curt and grateful nod back to Addy, then she felt her hand being squeezed once more and so she looked back over to Steve and saw him staring down at their conjoined hands.

"Don't get hurt," he ordered, and Artemis had no qualms about it.

"You too," she replied, throwing caution to the wind as she put her free hand against Steve's cheek and pushed his face back up so that she could attach her lips against his, savouring the way his lips felt against hers, enjoying the way her heart felt in that moment. Like she was alive again. She _was_ alive again. Artemis broke away, though both of them kept their eyes closed for a second, and then the world became real and she knew what she had to do. Looking over to T'Challa, he had a concerned expression on his face and so the brunette tried to boast as much confidence as she could, "when I get half way there, open the barrier and keep your men away from me. Then feel free to join the fight once I'm done."

He nodded his head, and Artemis set off, running towards the danger and she couldn't help but think how often she'd done such a thing. Even after two years, that was one habit she was struggling to kick herself free from.

She became focused once she was far enough away, inhaling and exhaling deep breaths as around her, her power began to glow. Black and white wrapping around her body, blossoming out of every pore, covering her entirely and gifting her more speed as she charged forward.

A long time ago, when Artemis was just a child, she belonged to a man a lot like Thanos. A man who always wanted more, a man who could kill without feeling any taint in his humanity because his killing was always done with purpose, a purpose he saw as right. He planned to kill half of Earth's population, perhaps more, in order to gain peace, and he used her to help him work towards that dream. The hardest fight she ever had to do - even in that moment she still viewed it as the hardest challenge in her life - was choosing to fight against his tyranny. If she'd have stayed with that man, with Alexander Pierce, then there was no doubt in Artemis' mind that she'd have ended up just like Gamora, the daughter of Thanos.

But she'd found courage, she found little pieces of it in Steve and Natasha and Sam, then one day she managed to find the courage inside of herself that Pierce had hidden away beneath layers of abuse. She'd stood up, she'd fought, she'd survived.

So whilst Thanos might think of himself as a God, Artemis knew the truth, that he was just another Alexander Pierce. She'd never gotten the chance to kill her abuser, and over time she'd learnt to accept that. But Thanos, he was going to be her victim. She was going to kill him like she should have killed Pierce long before he could have damaged her and all those other people. It was a shame she couldn't have saved Gamora, but she could save other people and that was just as important.

That started with killing off his army. Artemis was going to do just that by using her powers, powers she no longer feared, powers that she was in control of.

" _You think you're powers are just meant for destroying things?" Gran scoffed from the couch she was half laid on, warm cup of hot milk in her hand. The weather was awful outside once again, but that time they'd been able to spot the storm on its way and planned ahead so that they'd both have company, it made the grey clouds and the rain a little less depressing._

" _Well, yeah. I mean, that seems to be the most common thing they do," she explained with a shrug of her shoulders, walking around the room and lighting a few candles as the clouds outside consumed all light despite it being midday. She continued to reflect, thinking about what had happened during her birthday party, how she'd almost killed people. Thinking about all those nightmares she'd had where her powers would take control. Thinking about that day so long ago when she'd almost killed Bucky with her powers, it was also the day she'd unlocked something. Artemis still didn't understand what though, she'd never bothered exploring her powers more after that day, simply storing them away like old clothes thrown into the bottom of a wardrobe. "Whenever I lose control, I destroy things, and they're meant for combat use mostly anyway."_

" _That's what you've made them to be though, I think you've forgotten about everything else and I can understand why with the life you've been living, all those battles," Gran theorised, putting down her cup and standing up from the squeaking sofa, moving into the kitchen._

" _Forgotten what?" She asked just as her elder friend began to open her drawer of cutlery, pulling from it the sharpest knife she owned and with it, Gran made a long cut on the palm of her hand which instantly began to leak blood._

" _Gran!" Artemis ran into the kitchen, grabbing a kitchen towel on her way so that she could press it against the slash on Gran's palm. It had been grey when she grabbed it, but the blood quickly began to soak into the fabric, turning it black._

" _Heal it," Gran ordered simply, "you can do that, remember?"_

 _That was what she'd forgotten, Artemis realised. She'd forgotten about Charles Spencer, the boy who's pain she'd taken away in order to allow him to die peacefully, who she'd almost tried to bring back to life. She'd forgotten that there was another side to her powers, Gran had been right. Her life had included so much fighting after she was set free that though she'd taken a step in the right direction when learning about her powers, she'd swerved at some point, concentrating only on how she could use it to kill, to destroy. Her powers weren't destructive, she was._

 _It wasn't hard to heal Gran's wound, her body somehow remembering the way to do it, her powers flowing from her fingers around the old woman's hand, coating her in white. A moment later, Artemis pulled the towel away, and Gran's wound was gone._

" _Your powers aren't just destruction," the elder woman began to explain, voice soft as she took the towel off of Artemis, beginning to dispose of it for her, "they are all about balance, about life and death. You concentrate on death because that is what you've had to surround yourself with, but there is definitely more to it." Thinking back on that memory, it was amazing that Artemis had never coined onto the fact that Gran had knowledge she shouldn't have had. But in that moment, all the brunette could do was look up at her wiser friend through her eyelashes, uncertain about her words._

 _Gran simply smiled, as though she'd already known that Artemis would struggle with seeing herself and her powers in such a positive light. That wasn't why she was telling her those things though, Gran was teaching her a lesson that would one day come in use. "You can do amazing things Artemis. Build entire worlds, and take them away. That is the gift you've been given, use it wisely."_

The day when that information would come in use had arrived for Artemis, the day when she needed to not fear her powers and trust in them most, trust that they would do her bidding and trust that they could. That _she_ could.

She finally reached the beasts, and though some tried to jump for her, Sam, Rhodey, Bucky, Addy and even some of the Wakandan warriors made sure that not a single one of them came close. Her powers were pulsing around her, a giant cocoon of swirling black and white shooting from every part of her body. She was storing it.

It was time.

T'Challa did as she'd asked, once she was close enough, he told Shuri to open up the barrier. Masses of creatures spewed onto the battlefield, thousands of them covering the land and charging towards Artemis who was the most noticeable target, her shining body attracting all of their attention. Like moths to a flame, and they were about to get burned.

Artemis never stopped running, never turned her gaze away, never lost courage. She ran and ran, and then, she _flew_.

Jumping up, wings spread from her back, both gorgeous and might and terrifying, large enough to carry her body upward and cast a shadow over the field. She drew closer and closer, the beasts trying to jump for her but she was too high.

Sam and Rhodey made sure to get out of there, Sam muttering something about not liking the expression on Art's face, Rhodey explaining that he definitely wouldn't like to be in the alien's skin that day.

They screech and hollered for her, demanding that she come down so they could feast. They regretted it instantly, or, they would have, if they'd been afforded the time to feel such emotion.

Artemis charged down with the same ferocity those monsters possessed when trying to break through the barrier, and once she landed it was almost like a tiny big bang had gone off on Wakandan land as everyone was blinded first by a stunning white light, but then surrounded by black. It seeped through the field like fog, dancing on the ground, being emitted from Artemis who stood alone in the small crater on the ground that she had created. She stood tall, unashamed, unconcerned about the thoughts going through any Wakandan's mind, instead she watched as any creature touched by the dancing black smoke had their skin torn off them.

She was death to them all, her powers leaking and wrapping around each creature that had tried to make their way through, consuming their bodies and turning them into nothing but dust. Just like her wings, it was a beautiful sight, the dust like twinkling stars twirling and twisting in the wind as though they were dancing. But it was also fearsome, because all of that alluring, shimmering, dust, was once a life that Artemis had snatched from existence.

T'Challa, who had learnt not to fear her after their first few encounters, was watching in awe, thinking to himself that the brunette really was the Queen of Hell in a lot of ways.

"Holy shit," Addy gawked, unsure that what she was seeing was real but liking it anyway. The brunette had killed all of them, every single one that had managed to pass the barrier, yet she didn't think that it was all without Artemis' control because though death had consumed the creatures, the grass on the ground had remained perfectly fine. She was curious, impressed, scared, and a little bit turned on. "I love her, I want to marry her now."

"She's mine," Steve responded simply, raising up his hand and extending the black adamantium shield that T'Challa had gifted him.

He was the first to start running into the cloud of dust, possibly the only one there who knew when it was okay to step into the battlefield after Artemis' powers had consumed it. The field was once again being overrun by the alien creatures and he watched as Artemis worked on fighting them off all on her own, clearly only able to do such an attack once, yet she'd still surprised him by not even looking the littlest bit tired. Was that what had happened the day she unlocked something in her powers? He was soon followed by the rest of Wakanda's forces, T'Challa leading them.

It didn't take long before T'Challa and Steve were running ahead of everyone, the cloud of dust worked as a mask for them all, covering them up until the moment when they met the alien monsters. Steve was the first to reach his girl's side and fight off the creatures trying to aim for her, most of them being distracted by the thousands of warriors entering the battlefield.

And so it began, the war to end all wars. Artemis had done what she could, but she still had so much more to give, she just hoped it would be enough.

* * *

 **A/N: Oh no, the battles starting, I don't want it to. I want Amelia and Steve to just go to the farmhouse, but sadly if they do that then Thanos will definitely win and we can't have that. Hope you all liked this chapter, that little moment at the end is my favourite testimony to how both Steve and Amelia have grown as people, especially the whole 'you don't need my permission part'.**

 **To AngelElmarlienHenning, glad to hear you liked the update, but I'm afraid I can't answer your question. Who knows, they might have a way to prevent that. Or maybe things are more hopeless than Amelia's making it out to be. You'll find out the answer in Chapter 116 ;) See you tomorrow!**

 **To Pitspee, gotta remember that Gran didn't just survive the Snappening but she clearly survived Avengers 4 and whatever goes on in it, and that's all I'm going to say on the matter lol. And yeah, I'm glad you can realise that Gran is basically Old Mia. Like anyone, she can give advice but she can't follow it herself, thankfully she got to Amelia just in time. And yes it is the OC from my Parker fic, and it's also a she. Currently she's called Alice ^^ And you can go read my collaboration with Assbitch67 (I'll be posting it on this account) to see more of Mia, it'll include a lot of things that I couldn't include in the story like maybe Christmas' and who knows, there might even be a Halloween one coming very soon ;)**

 **To d'elfe, glad to hear you enjoyed the chapter! And thank you, I've definitely left myself a lot of room so that I can work with Avengers 4 but who knows, that movie could do something completely unexpected and ruin my entire story lol. And WOW, the best? That is a huge compliment that I'm not sure I deserve but thank you so much!**

 **To Sam0728, you did! You were one of the first to guess it. I decided not to pull an Aaron this time though because I feel like I've built enough distrust already lol. Hope you enjoyed this chap as well!**

 **To rosequartz121, because the idea of a Mia without her Steve is heartbreaking and unbearable?**

 **To Cash1122, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to break you! I'm glad I could inspire you though, you writing anything I might be interested in? I'd love to read your stuff and I'm looking for some new reading material rn. And wow, thank you so much, I wish I could say more than thanks cause ik I say it a lot but your words really do mean so much!**

 **To CrumblingUniverses, aaaahhhhh thank you! I'm glad you liked it and all the plot twists. Though I'm a tad concerned for your phone rn. Please don't damage it too much lol. Also, it's a good thing you're excited for the next upcoming chapters because they are a rollercoaster! Definitely keep a defibrillator near you just in case ;) And thank you for your kind words, they were amazing and made me realise that I've sort of fallen into a funk again where my pessimism is taking over. Everyone goes through the phases, so hopefully I'll break out of it soon and your words have definitely helped pave the path for me. And you've reminded me the one thing I always try to tell everyone, that whilst darkness isn't necessary, it exists and it's up to you to find the light that's always there. Yeah, I've gone through things I wouldn't even wish on Thanos, but look what's come out of it, I wrote this story and I've met amazing people. Thank you again, I really needed to hear those words.**

 **To shugokage, it's about to get a whole lot more interesting as well. Well, I say that, it's action chapters next and we all know they're not really my favourite thing to write or my strong suit. Still, I hope they're good enough to entertain you ^^**

 **To Assbitch67, nah I wouldn't remove it, I find it quite funny that that's my 1000th review, it's unique lol. AND NO KEEP THE LEAK TO YOURSELF GODDAMMIT! And I'm trying much harder to keep my mouth shut now, but I can't help it, I'm so excited, especially for that spooky scary one ;)))))) oops.**

 **And a big thank you to everyone that read the chapter!**


	120. Chapter One Hundred and Fourteen

**CHAPTER ONE-HUNDRED AND FOURTEEN**

* * *

"At what point do you give up - decide enough is enough? There is only one answer really. Never."

― **Tabitha Suzuma**

* * *

It was somehow right. Fighting along Steve, moving beside him, dancing with him across the battlefield, it was… right. Though Artemis was a little disappointed that she didn't have his shield to play frisbee with, it didn't matter as for the most part they seemed to have quite an advantage over the fight. At least for just the moment.

The creatures they fought against weren't exactly strong or challenging, they were simple. A couple of hits and a couple of stabs later they would lay defeated on the ground, but Artemis supposed that whoever created the monsters didn't intend for them to be large foes (unless they were battling against a planet where the population were tinier, small-minded aliens) but instead, nuisances. There were a lot of them, even after Artemis used her powers to annihilate the first wave of attack, the second and third wave decided to join together and it felt like the field was becoming more and more overrun. So any progress the soldier and the psychic did make began to feel null as they'd look up from their battle and see the field still drowning in snarling, dribbling, four-armed monsters.

"How much longer, Shuri?" T'Challa asked into the comms, and despite Artemis swinging her arms around, throwing out a wave of black energy that cut through the stomachs of three alien creatures, she listened intensely to hear the scientists answer. The brunette invested more than most because if they didn't manage to get that stone out then it would be game over, for her.

"I've barely begun, brother," Shuri responded, her voice coming out rushed, letting everyone in the comms know that she was trying her best to get it over with quickly.

"You might want to pick up the pace-" T'Challa's words were cut short as from his left a creature charged and aimed to tackle him to the floor, the Black Panther was way too smart a fighter for that trick to work and instead he got out his claws and cut a pattern into the alien's skin, causing it to release a furious noise somewhere in between a howl and a snarl.

Artemis turned back to her own fight, one that was growing more and more difficult due only to the vast number of enemies leaking onto the field. At the start, she'd only been facing one, but in that moment as she turned around, the brunette found herself surrounded by at least twenty. She let out a frustrated huff, but still did not allow herself to be deterred, to lose hope. How could she, when Steve Rogers was on the field with her?

Just as the girl was starting to think that maybe she was about to be bombarded with the creatures, her soldier joined her side once more, releasing a kick as he jumped forward, sending a few creatures away from her. Artemis also noticed that he kept glancing at her, and she knew that he was making sure she was okay. She'd be lying if Art said she wasn't doing exactly the same as she looked over to him.

That was another thing she resented about the life constantly fighting wars brought, the one thing she wished would stop, it was the worrying. Everytime they were in a war, if they weren't stood in front of one another, they were worrying. They'd be in the middle of a battle, they'd be fighting, they'd be thinking about their next moves and analysing, but they also wouldn't be able to breathe. It was like, unless their lover was stood in front of them where they could see them, where they could protect them, then they just couldn't find oxygen either. She supposed it wasn't just the life of war that did that to her though, even during those two years apart, sometimes Artemis would sit staring out of her window wondering if Steve was okay, she'd never admit it at the time but even then she was concerned for him.

It was the price they'd paid, one that she'd accepted again for the moment because she'd rather be on the battlefield with him worrying than what Gran must have been like, sitting at home, knowing that there was something wrong but choosing only to worry about herself and not the wellbeing of the people that raised her, taught her how to be human, and loved her unconditionally.

Artemis joined the fight Steve had instigated, grabbing one creature with her powers, surrounding it in white and then beginning to throw its body across at all the others. It hollered and waved its hands theatrically but she continued to use it as a wrecking ball, creating a bit more space around the couple for them to move around.

She didn't notice the creature that had begun to crawl towards her from behind, and neither did Steve who was stood in front of her with both shields on his wrists extended, battering a monster with the sharp edges. Just as she began to hear the snarling that was far too close to her for her liking, T'Challa appeared, dressed in his Black Panther suit - that Artemis was sure had had an upgrade since the last time she saw it - and he started to help them defeat the creatures.

They began to move close together, pushing their way forwards closer to the border, all three of them in silent agreement that they should take out as many at the front so the ones that made it past them were easier pickings for the Wakandan troops which didn't have super soldier serum or some sort of magical flower giving them powers. It wasn't an easy decision, it meant that things were a lot more difficult for them but Artemis once again pushed faith on top of any concerns, silencing their mewlings.

They ended up in a small river of some sort, water splashing up at them as creatures charged forward, only to be met by the edge of Steve's shields, or T'Challa's claws, or the energy flowing from Artemis' hands.

T'Challa flipped away from a beast approaching behind him and Steve turned around, swinging his fist to meet the alien pawn that had tried to get to the King. T'Challa's flip led him closer to Artemis where he took over her fight with one of the creatures, slashing at it's arm and managing to dig so deep that the limb started to hang off. Artemis moved away from that fight, finding another creature and lifting them off their feet, clapping her hands together, and as she did so, her powers that wrapped around the creature crushed its body. Bones broke through the skin, flying onto the floor.

War was not pretty, even with their tricks, even with Artemis' energy dancing across the battlefield. Nothing she saw was pretty, it was all horrifying and disturbing. Limbs could be spotted on the floor, some burnt to a crisp which would tell her that they belonged to the creatures and not any Wakandan soldier, though there were also those bodies. Everywhere she turned, in the corner of her eye she'd always notice a body laid on the floor but she'd ignore it. She had to ignore it or else she'd be throwing up constantly and that would make her a very easy target for the enemies.

She also had to ignore that some of those bodies on that ground, some of those limbs and those bits of flesh and bone and those droplets of blood, they were things she'd put there. Despite reminding herself that they were mindless creatures craving only death, it didn't stop her from constantly being reminded that she was killing again.

But it was a war, if she didn't kill them, then they would kill her.

Just as she thought that, a creature landed on her back, shoving her down to the ground. She turned onto her back and kicked out her leg, shooting a mass amount of energy from the limb that sent the creature flying upward. But it was too late, once on the floor most of the surrounding monsters began eyeing her up. She immediately raised her hand and pressed the small button on the side of her headband, the tiara-like headpiece stretching out across her face and creating a black helmet that was simple in design, a blue line passing down the right side of her face whilst a red line went down the left. She'd had to cover up her face as one creature above her aimed to immediately bite at her head.

Artemis tried to turn away and as she did, she noticed that Steve was experiencing the exact same problem that she was, his body hidden beneath at least four creatures that all had a hold of his limbs and were using their clawed hands to scrape his body, as though they were trying to get through his armour and tear off his flesh.

The brunette put out a hand, ready to send out another wave of energy which would knock back all the aliens on top of her soldier but one of the creatures on top of her moved it's leg and slammed it down on her wrist, it probably didn't even notice what it was doing but it's heavy body crushed her limb down into the dirty water below, a burst of pain shaking her body and emanating from that particular spot. She let out a scream, not realising that the noise would be heard into the comms as the mask automatically filtered everything she said there like Tony's mask did.

From beneath the mass of alien's Steve became even more frantic, reaching out with his own hand towards her and she could only watch helplessly, the pain in her wrist still pulsating but it wasn't nearly as horrible as the pain beating in her heart.

"There's too many of them!" Bruce yelled into the comms, echoing something the couple already knew very well.

It didn't make sense to Artemis, that was the hardest part. It didn't make sense because she'd promised herself and her team that they would win, they would beat the army and Thanos' minions and Thanos himself. They would win. But in that moment, the strongest of their team were beneath mountains of creatures, incapable of doing anything. They were… They were going to lose-

Artemis wasn't allowed to think that, a God himself decided that she wasn't allowed to lose hope and he ensured she didn't by appearing in a burst of light that struck the battlefield, sending numerous beasts backwards, a few crushed by the mere force of the almost rainbow light.

A few Wakandan warriors stopped to stare at it in confusion, something that day had brought them quite a lot of. Few on that battlefield were able to recognise the beam of light, and most did not believe that it was really such a familiar thing. Artemis was one of those few. Her eyes kept flickering between the light and Steve, and though she hoped that whoever was in the light was help, she just couldn't believe that it would be the God that had appeared in front of her in the exact same way more than five years ago. She'd seen him in her vision and she'd seen the ship explode as Thanos left, leaving the Asgardians to die. Thor being one of those people. It couldn't have been Thor.

But it _was_. Something shot out from the light, flipping its way through the battlefield, hitting numerous alien creatures and when it came into contact with their skin electric blue lightning filtered through their bodies. There was only one man Artemis knew who could do such a thing.

The weapon (Artemis didn't think it looked much like a hammer, it was flatter) flew over to where Steve was laid beneath the creatures and it shot through them all, pushing the alien's off of him and even tearing off some limbs that settled at his side along with creatures that had been stunned, still buzzing with electric blue sparks. He immediately stood up once he was free, only looking around in confusion for a split second before moving to help Artemis.

He knocked over the one that was stood on her wrist and she felt instant relief at having the weight off of her bone, then he started bashing the edge of his shield at the others, freeing Artemis' other hand so she could help him. The creatures became shrouded by black and crushed in seconds, the brunette incapable of wasting any time as she wanted to get a better look at that beam of light, she wanted to see who it was, because though she couldn't really truly believe that it would be the God, there was a childish hope inside of her, the same hope a child would have every Christmas Eve that Santa would be coming at night to bring them gifts.

In some ways, Thor really was like Santa Claus.

Steve helped bring her up onto her feet, allowing her to lean against his body and she instantly moved to cup her aching wrist, Steve automatically reached out to do the same. Whilst his eyes were fixed on her wrist, she was staring fixedly on the light. Using her powers, she pressed the button on her mask so she could see everything much clearer.

The light finally faded, and just as she'd foolishly hoped, Thor Odinson stood there, an axe in hand, lightning emanating from his body, a racoon on his shoulder and a humanoid tree at his side. The brunette did a double take at the last two things she'd noticed, becoming even more confused when she noticed that the racoon was holding some sort of gun. Then again, they were with Thor, and somehow that made the two characters appearances a little less strange. The bizarre didn't distract her from the way her heart began to pump ten times faster, exhilarated by Thor's appearance, glad to see him alive, and motivated once more for the battle.

"Ahah!" Bruce hollered towards the aliens, "you guys are so screwed now!"

"Whoo!" Artemis screamed out, raising her fist and jumping into the air with just as much ecstatic energy as what Bruce had had, unable to stop the overwhelming hype that filled her with new energy. Steve was laughing at her side, just as overjoyed as she was. Both of them were reminded of the battle though when she winced and brought her hand back down, muttering a quiet 'ow' that had Steve immediately reaching back for her wrist so he could place it under his caring touch.

"Bring me Thanos!" Thor called out, his tone demanding and it became even more dominating as once again blue lightning snapped and crackled across his body, the God running forward with the humanoid tree and racoon behind him. He left them for a short while to jump into the air, the lightning reaching out like spiders legs towards every angle yet never going near a human. Just the aliens. The God of Thunder crashed back down onto the ground and the lightning reached out it's deadly grasp, taking quite a few of the aliens and lowering the numbers greatly as Artemis had done at the start. Another big attack that would help their cause greatly, because all of Thanos' army was on that field, there were no more waves.

It meant the battle was coming to a close, and with Thor at their side, Artemis was even more certain that they were going to win, her doubts moments before a forgotten memory.

"Are you okay?" Steve questioned, clearly concerned as he looked down at her wrist and Artemis found it far too adorable.

"Think it's just been sprained, I can still use my fingers so I can definitely still fight," she reassured, placing her hand on top of his and putting on her best smile. She wasn't as good at it as Adelaine though, her smile almost felt far too strained. He looked up at her through his eyelashes, meeting her eyes with doubt but they both knew that it didn't matter, that their worries never really mattered because in a war they'd always have to go back to fight, they couldn't even really afford the moment they were having then.

As nicely as she could, Artemis leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips, and when she tried to pull away he made it slightly longer by following her and keeping his lips stuck to hers. It only made her smile more, her chest rumbling as a giggle tried to escape her. When he did finally let her lips free, she was leaning back into an arm he'd wrapped around her waist, the two of them bent over and they probably looked incredibly inappropriate in the middle of the battlefield like that. "You done?" She asked, and his response was another, much quicker, peck.

"Now I am," he answered, smirking and smiling at the same time, his teeth showing and his eyes alight as he stared down at her. He looked at her like he loved her, and that was something which would never grow old, not now that she'd spent two years without him.

"Good, duck," she ordered swiftly, spotting something behind him which had her body turning rigid. She threw out her hands, ignoring the pain in her wrist (she'd already wrapped around it a healing cast of white energy) and creating a barrier that was strong enough for the creature that had leapt towards them to bash head first into. He dropped to the ground baffled for a moment and Artemis pulled down her shield, Steve stepping forward and using the shield on his wrist to bash the skull of the creature. She looked towards Steve, not at all frazzled by the appearance of the beast, her motivation reinvigorated, "we should probably get back to the fighting."

"I don't know, the farmhouse is like a twenty-minute walk away from here," Steve bantered, pointing towards the west.

The brunette shook her head, "stop saying stuff like that."

"You're just worried that you're going to agree at some point," the soldier continued to joke and Artemis rolled her eyes as they plunged themselves back into the fight, finding themselves being much less overwhelmed by the number of alien's on the field thanks to Thor's extermination.

She raised her hands up, spinning them around and dancing her fingers in the air as though she were weaving something, and up in the sky shards began to appear that encapsulated both black and white within them. The brunette created hundreds, spreading them out as far as she could. Through her feet she sent out her powers onto the land, creating a sonar image of the field, seeing the spirits of every human and every alien, the difference uncanny. All of the aliens were empty, just grey blobs, not even animals on Earth were like that. They really were just void and mindless and hungry.

Steve was keeping an eye on what she was doing, protecting her as she worked, making sure no creatures managed to get close to her.

Once she had all of her shards placed, Artemis threw down her hands and the shards fell with her, every one of them clashing with a beast and either killing them or pinning them to the ground, making them easier for some of the Wakandan soldiers to kill.

"You feeling tired yet?" Steve questioned, asking the same thing that Artemis had been wondering as she looked down at her hands, expecting there to be some ache in her body but she didn't even feel worn out.

The brunette shook her head, "not yet." She didn't know how long it would last, she hoped at least until the end of the fight. Suddenly there was a crash of lightning behind her and Art turned around, spotting her favourite God swinging an axe towards one of the beasts. "Thor!" She called out, already beginning to run over to him with her arms open wide.

He thankfully calmed down the electricity as she jumped onto him, the large God releasing a rumbling chuckle as he was forced to take two steps back when she collided with him. He wrapped one arm around her, the other holding his newest weapon - Stormbreaker - and he began to pat her suited back. "Hello to you too, Little Stark, it's been a while," he greeted, using a nickname she felt she hadn't heard in years. She dared to think how she'd feel if Steve were to call her Freckles again after years of her just being Artemis or Art.

"I'm so sorry," her voice was far more quieter than she'd intended, cracking slightly as she tightened her arms around his shoulders, beginning to remember what her dream had shown her.

Thor's smile melted into concern and he slowed his pats on her back, "for what?"

She let go, stepping backwards so she could see her sincere expression, unable to stop the way small tears popped up in the corner of her eye as she thought of how much _pain_ the God must have been in after pretty much losing everything he had. "For your brother, and your people, Thor… I'm so sorry…" The words felt entirely useless, not enough to truly summarise her care and concern.

"How do you know about that?" Thor asked, eyebrows coming together. It couldn't have been Bruce because the Hulk hadn't been there to see it all happen.

"Long story. Doesn't matter. What matters is that you're here. The sun _will_ shine on us again," she repeated the last words Loki had said to Thor, knowing that they would be of great meaning on that battlefield that day. There was a reason she chose not to tell Thor about why she knew about the soul stone, because he might have been able to guess what that connection meant, and though she knew he wouldn't ask her to kill herself to kill the Space Stone like Gran had, she knew he'd become concerned and not want her anywhere on the battlefield. She pointed down at the axe in his hand, "also, sweet new weapon."

"Oh, thank you, I'm still getting used to the swing but, yes, I like it very much," Thor smiled down at the weapon and, to prove his point, he began to throw the heavy looking axe between both of his hands, showing off every bit of it to her and she found the staff to be the most interesting part. It looked to be made of wood.

At her side she heard Steve release a gunt so she immediately turned around with her arms raised, ready to fight off any approaching creature but it seemed he'd already taken care of it. The soldier looked up and nodded over to Thor in greeting, "new haircut?" Steve asked, giving it a look of appreciation.

Thor pointed over towards Steve, then gesturing to his own facial hair, "noticed you've copied my beard."

Breathlessly he waved his hand in a sort of 'of course' manner, and Artemis felt like she needed to defend him slightly as she stepped closer towards her soldier and linked her arm with his. "Yeah, but he owns it like it's his," she explained with a cheesy grin that both of the men laughed at.

"Oh by the way," Thor continued on, pointing over towards the strange looking alien that had come with him which had somehow managed to stretch its limbs like roots and pierce three enemies, seemingly strong enough to lift them from the ground. "This is a friend of mine, Tree."

"I am Groot," the creature said, introducing himself to the pair as he slammed down his tree arm that had the three alien creatures skewered on it.

Steve held a hand to his chest, "I am Steve Rogers."

"And I am Artemis," she waved, pausing for a moment as she realised how weird that name sounded coming from her lips, especially when she was on that battlefield. On that beach, alone, surrounded by nothing but sea, Artemis had felt like a perfectly fine name but on that field surrounded by war, it felt misplaced.

Thor was about to ask her why she'd just called herself Artemis when they were interrupted by a deep rumbling sound in the trees, they turned, seeing the ground beginning to rise up higher than it should have and from the dirt and grass appeared four gigantic wheel-like objects which didn't look at all friendly. In Artemis' mind they looked more like gigantic chainsaws and that seemed to be their use as well as they spun across the land, consuming dirt and anyone stood in the wrong place at the wrong time, including Thanos' own minions. It was the enemies big move, clearly growing tired of what their opposition had been doing.

The wheels began to split, moving in different directions. Artemis looked around the field, trying to figure out what exactly they could do to get rid of them, she'd knock one down but that would mean risking the lives of many Wakandans, but so did letting the wheels continue. Sam and Rhodey were doing their best to stop the wheels from up high, shooting rockets and bullets at the thing but it didn't seem to be doing much damage. She looked down at the people on the ground and where the wheels were about to hit, and then she saw Nat and Okoye.

"Oh no," she whispered breathlessly as she shot off, running as fast as she could to try and reach them in time but it was a hopeless mission, the wheels too fast and even if she flew then she wouldn't have really made it in time, maybe reaching them just as they got run over.

Thankfully, she didn't have to make it, as Wanda Maximoff reached in front of them first and used her powers to lift the giant chainsaw wheels up into the air and crash them away, closer to the border where it was only Thanos' troops. Nat and Okoye stared at her in awe, the Wakandan warrior twirling her staff before gesturing towards the witch and then looking over to Nat and Art, baffled, "why was she up there all this time?"

"Because she needs to stay up there," Artemis replied, taking a few steps closer to Wanda with a very unimpressed expression on her face.

"Are you doubting my abilities again? Because I think I just proved that I can handle my own battles," Wanda immediately argued, throwing her hand up towards the destroyed wheels that had also taken out quite a few of the alien pawns.

Artemis shook her head, sighing, "it's not that at all, I have more than enough faith in you. But you need to be up there with Vision." She needed to destroy the stone before Thanos got it, so that they would all be safe. If she was down on the ground then that meant that Vision was alone, and that Wanda might be separated from him for too long and not be able to destroy the stone before Thanos reached them. And if they didn't do that, then that meant she would… she'd… no, Artemis couldn't even bring herself to think about doing the action.

The witch opened her mouth, about to bring up an argument when Sam suddenly spoke into the comm, his words managing to stop both of their hearts. "Guys, we got a Vision situation here."

"Somebody get to Vision!" Steve ordered, not really having to remind anyone of the importance the Android held but she was grateful that her soldier had made it a priority to protect him. Bruce said that he was on his way but that didn't stop the two girls from looking at each other and agreeing that they needed to be there to help him too.

Artemis didn't bother doing the whole 'I told you so' speech, instead they both moved to start flying over when all of a sudden she saw Wanda get knocked over the head, pushed down into a pit that the chainsaw wheels had created. The brunette turned to see who had attacked her and was met by a teeth-baring smile on Gaga's face. She didn't have enough time to raise her hands and do an attack before she found herself also being shoved down into the pit as well, Gaga choosing to do that act with her own two hands, clearly looking forward to their battle.

She bounced her way down to the bottom, stones somehow finding a way to dig into every part of her body as she rolled down and when she finally did reach the ground her body was in agony. She rolled over, only to have Gaga then stand over her, placing a leg on her chest and the point of her sword at the brunette's throat. "You will die alone," the alien warrior promised.

"She's not alone."

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 **A/N: Ohhhhhh god I do hate action scenes, I'm sorry if this is absolutely terrible. They're not my strong suit, the good and bad news is that it'll be over soon lol.**

 **To Pitspee, hell yeah! Lol, it's so obvious that Steve can't get enough of her after their time apart and I absolutely love writing it. And oh man, I've put so much thought and detail in Amelia's powers. Because I didn't want to make her OP and I also wanted it to make sense why she has the powers she does and why the Space Stone is able to be sentient and yeah. I'd tell you but then this chapter would be way toooo long. Plus, I like hearing people's own thoughts and prefer leaving some stuff to other peoples imaginations, if that makes sense. AND STEVE HAS A BAD GIRL KINK NO ONE CAN CONVINCE ME DIFFERENTLY! I'm glad you like the 'you don't need my permission' line, I felt like it was so goddamn important and one of my favourite lines. Lol, who knows, Steve might actually be able to convince her to ditch the fight and just go to the farmhouse.**

 **To AngelElmarlienHenning, thank you! I hope you enjoyed this one and that my action writing wasn't too awful.**

 **To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, thank you! I am also very very very very happy that Amelia and Steve are back together, it was hard writing them not as a couple .-.**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, yay! I'm glad you liked it, I hope this one wasn't too bad. AND THAT WAS IN THE PLAN BUT I FORGOT TO WRITE IT! Literally it says in my plan 'she says 'that isn't love' and Steve is like 'wtf u talking bout meh'' (please ignore how I write my plan, I like to add comedic bits for myself okay). And yes, it is from the time travel theory, but if there doesn't end up being time travel than I've got like three other reasons as to why she'd be there. Everything will get explained properly in Avengers 4 when I can actually give a solid answer that isn't at the risk of being debunked by A4.**

 **To rosequartz121, ikr, but look how she is now, so strong, so beautiful, so loved. God bless Amelia man.**

 **To Assbitch67, I'm sorry that Mia and Steve are so adorable okay but it's not like I actually have any control over that, I'm just the author ;) AND I WANT THEM TO HAVE THE FARMHOUSE TOO OKAY BUT PLOT! BLAME THANOS NOT ME! Lolol, cause I'm a Tom Holland and you're a Tom Hiddleston (he literally knew he was going to die for years and he somehow managed to keep that to himself can we just).**

 **To CrumblingUniverses, ahaha, only four? I need to up my game. At least you won't have had to use it in this chapter, I don't think it was that amazing. And tbh when I first saw the Infinity War I was screaming, pausing the video, flinging my arms around, watching another second, screaming some more. Like, I almost brought my friends house down with how loud I yelped when I saw Steve's beard. And then I LITERALLY cried. And I doubt my story is good enough to get that reaction out of anyone lol. And yes, the queen has arrived, the queen of Hell. Thank you again, I hope you keep going on and if you ever need to talk just PM me!**

 **To shugokage, you're very very welcome, thank you for reviewing! I'm sorry that this chapter wasn't all that great!**

 **And a big thanks to everyone that read the chapter, if I could send you all a treat of your choice I would but I'm very poor so sorry about that.**


	121. Chapter One Hundred and Fifteen

**CHAPTER ONE-HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN**

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" **It gives me strength to have somebody to fight for; I can never fight for myself, but, for others, I can kill."**

― **Emilie Autumn**

* * *

She bounced her way down to the bottom, stones somehow finding a way to dig into every part of her body as she rolled down and when she finally did reach the ground her body was in agony. She rolled over, only to have Gaga then stand over her, placing a leg on her chest and the point of her sword at the brunette's throat. "You will die alone," the alien warrior promised.

"She's not alone." Natasha chimed from behind, and as Gaga turned she found herself face to face with both Okoye and Natasha Romanoff. The alien had no idea what she was getting herself into. Artemis had full faith that the two would be able to fight off the alien, and that any confidence the alien did have was false.

As Gaga charged in to battle the two female warriors, Artemis shuffled away slowly, not wanting to gain the alien's attention again before she could see to her little sister. She found Wanda laid on the ground, one hand already rubbing her head. "You okay?" She asked quietly, repeatedly looking between the fight and the witch, Wanda easily being able to tell where Art wanted to be.

"Yeah, let's go," the two girls joined the fight just as Okoye pushed Gaga back with her spear, knocking her into the two girls that used their powers fluently. When she moved to punch one of them, Artemis would catch the alien's hand with her powers and send it back at the woman. Whenever she tried to hit them with her sword, Wanda would use her powers to freeze the alien's limb.

As a wheel went over the top of them the fight paused for a moment as they all paused and ducked, Gaga wanting to avoid getting her head cut off just as much as the rest of them. That moment gave Art a slightly sickening idea, but considering all the trouble that particular alien had caused her, all the things she'd said and done, Artemis was finding it very difficult to feel bad.

She sent the warrior back into Natasha's space, the blonde spy throwing out the end of her linked baton, colliding it with Gaga's chin as Okoye tried to roll under the alien's eyesight, moving behind her, ready to press her spear into her leg but the alien continued to swing her sword wildly, moving it around her lower body and knocking away Okoye's weapon. Gaga tried to follow up the move with embedding the sword into the Wakandan warrior's face but Artemis got in the way, throwing out her powers and blocking the attack, sliding her way forward as well, bending her back so the sword missed her and then she kicked down Gaga, Natasha instantly moving in and trying to bring her baton down onto her face.

"Guys! Vision needs backup, now!" Bruce explained, clearly having failed with reaching the android in time. That meant they were running out of time and wasting it even more by continuing their fight with Gaga.

Artemis had no other choice, she'd have to do her plan. "Wanda!" She called over to her friend, nodding over towards one of the wheels that passed by them, then she looked down to Gaga who was continuing to roll across the floor and fight off the two other hand-to-hand fighters with her sword. Wanda seemed to understand what she was thinking pretty quickly, and Art just hoped that Wanda really did actually know what she meant because she didn't want to waste any more time planning.

Instead, she grabbed a hold of one of the wheels with her powers, white and black wrapping around it, the chainsaw clearly still spinning violently beneath the faded out energy. Then, once she had it under her control, she started to spin it around, pulling it closer and closer and closer. "Duck!" She yelled out her order, Okoye and Nat immediately listening because they had more than enough trust in the fellow warrior. Wanda also ducked, but as she did so, she raised up her hands slightly, throwing Gaga up into the weapon where she was immediately chopped up.

Blood splattered everywhere, mostly going over Natasha who had been the closest to Gaga at the time. Natasha turned to them all, revealing the blue splodges on her face. "That was really gross," she mumbled, her disgust evident on her face.

"It looks really gross," Art admitted, and all Nat could do was give a slight, slow, nod of her head. "Vision," Artemis reminded Wanda, the two looking to each other as for just a moment they'd allowed themselves a bit of peace. But once they remembered the endangered android they threw the images of Gaga's body being torn apart to the back of their head and launched themselves into the sky, Artemis wasting no more time and even spreading her wings out so that she'd fly faster.

She even ended up ahead of Wanda, the first one to make it towards the forest area beside the palace that Vision and Shuri had been in. The brunette had to fly lower towards the treeline in order to see inside, hoping that it wouldn't take her long before she spotted Vis. Hoping that she wasn't already too late.

But as it turned out, she hadn't been the first one there since Bruce revealed he hadn't managed to get to Vision's defense as she found someone else in that forest fighting the alien Gaga had insisted was dead, and it was her soldier. She saw that Gollum had his usual gold spear and was swinging it, for the most part Steve was able to block the attacks with his shield but she couldn't help but notice the parts of his body that he was leaving open for an attack by putting his arms above his face, and if Gollum was really a good warrior, he'd notice them too. She decided then she wasn't going to just let her lover fight alone, her wings retracting and Artemis hurtled to the floor just as Gollum lowered his staff and went to hit Steve's chest.

The alien was not given a chance as when Art landed, she landed right in front of Steve.

For the soldier, he felt a pain worse than any staff to the chest could cause as he immediately believed that she'd taken the attack onto herself, landing in the right place at the right time to protect him. Only it was the wrong place at the wrong time, because that was the last thing he'd ever want. His mouth had dropped open but no air went in or left as he looked down at her chest, fearing the sight of the alien's gold staff protruding it, but it wasn't there, which made him finally close his mouth and draw his eyebrows together, he continued searching for it, looking further down her body before finally spotting that she'd actually landed on top of the staff and had her feet stood on it's edge.

"You really need to stop doing that," Steve told her, his relief clear in his tone and at first Art couldn't understand what he'd meant until she remembered that that wasn't the first time she'd jumped in front of him when a weapon was coming his way.

She shrugged her shoulders, "old habits die hard," she tried to joke.

Gollum didn't seem so amused with all the joking, beginning to tug harshly on his staff and sneer at her the same way Gaga once did. Steve immediately rounded Artemis and thrust out his hand, hitting the alien and knocking him over, the soldier then immediately moving his girl to the side of him in a gentle way that opposed the roughness he'd used when punching the alien. She turned around, searching for Vision to make sure that he was okay and as she did Gollum launched himself forward for another attack, staff discarded from his hand as it was still safely placed under her feet.

The alien managed to grab Steve though his immediate target had been the girl, sadly the soldier had seen the movement and stepped in the way, taking the charge and getting knocked over a tree trunk. Gollum decided he'd take out the soldier first, Captain America seemed to be the stronger out of the three targets anyway and would supply him with just as much victory as it would still be an enemy of Thanos taken out by his hands. And he would literally take Steve out with his own hands, the alien wrapping them tightly around the soldier's throat, showing that he could match the superheroes strength quite easily.

Artemis watched perplexed, wondering how Gollum could simply attack her soldier without thinking he'd have to pay the price from her. He didn't even try to ensure she was out of the picture, he genuinely thought she'd just stand around and let him kill her man. _Hell no_. The brunette was about ready to rain down all of Heaven and bring up every inch of fire from Hell to use on that one, small, alien, but then she remembered that the only way Natasha had been able to do any damage to Gollum through his armour was by using his own staff. The staff that was placed directly under her feet.

She grabbed it, feeling the weight of the weapon beneath her fingertips, feeling that same weight match in her stomach. There was something about that weapon, it brought her the same sort of energy that T'Challa had, like the Space Stone was telling her that in the future that weapon would somehow be very important to her so Artemis decided she quite liked it, it did look very cool and maybe a spear would be a nice change from the knives she used to use.

Of course the brunette didn't waste any time, raising up the staff with the pointed side bent towards Gollum's chest. He wasn't even paying any attention towards her. It was actually starting to become quite offensive. A good motivator for the brunette as she drove the spear into his chest, Gollum instantly releasing his hold on Steve's neck and gasping out, a mewling cry coming from deep below his throat as his body became more and more weakened. He'd given up, and that's when Artemis was sure of it, he was no warrior. None of Thanos' knights were, they were just dressed up to be. She supposed none of them really had to be big threats because of Thanos, he was the one everyone was supposed to fear, the truly skilled fighter.

Artemis threw his body aside, chucking him off the edge of her new spear like he was a piece of dirt or some toilet paper stuck to a shoe. His body collapsed on the ground and he laid unmoving, dead. Perhaps the death part should have mattered more to her, but all she cared about then was seeing to Steve and Vision. She chose her soldier first, dropping to her knees and putting her new spear onto the floor so she could cup his head in her hands, turning it slightly so she could inspect for wounds. His neck was bruised but that was about it. She didn't even know why she was inspecting for more wounds, it wasn't like she could kill Gollum anymore than she already had and that was what any other wounds would motivate her to do. Though, she had decided in that moment that when the fight was over and Wakanda started disposing of the enemies bodies, she also wanted to take part so she could finish her job. None of Thanos' knights deserved a respectful funeral.

He opened his mouth to speak but was attacked by his girl's lips instead, another kiss, another time that she was thankful he was alive and thankful that she'd lived too. And she'd continue to live, because they were going to get Vision, and they were going to take him back to the lab and get that damn stone removed.

They both stood up and made their way over to Vision who was leaning against a tree, hand over his side where he'd received another wound from Gollum. Steve left his girls side so that he could step over to Vision and give the android something to lean against whilst they started walking back over to the lab, "I thought I told you to go," Cap sighed.

"I wanted to stay and help," he revealed, though he looked down because in the end he couldn't really do much but watch as Artemis became a fighter again, "we don't trade lives, Captain."

Artemis felt a flash of fury within her at those words, because she'd said them before to him, as had Steve, and every time their intentions had been to save lives but Vision had made the decision to stay outside, not return to the lab, and by doing so he was trading the Mind Stone for _her_ life. Because if that stone didn't get taken out then she was the one who'd pay. "Our priority right now is getting that stone out of your head Vision, for the sake of us all," she'd quipped, tone grating like hot metal against hot metal, the anger noticed by everyone there.

"Amelia, are you okay?" Steve asked, and she looked to him almost helplessly because she couldn't tell him anything. There was no need to tell him, she told herself, because they were going to get that stone out of Vision's head.

"I'm fine." Artemis forced out the words, putting on her mask, covering her fears. She turned back to Vision, "sorry."

"This is a tough fight," Steve said, tone both reprimanding and comforting, "and it's only going to get harder once Thanos arrives, we need to stay calm and level-headed."

"I am, I'm sorry, momentary lapse." She had to keep her words short and snappy, she couldn't reveal too much, couldn't make Vision want to sacrifice himself even more and accidentally convince Steve that she wanted to leave him after just getting back with him. It was all too cruel for everyone. Especially her. It hadn't been lost on Art that after everything she'd been through, life was still throwing impossible-to-dodge punches, and one day she was sure she'd just end up screaming at the Gods (excluding Thor) for putting her through so much.

As though he could sense the angst ripening inside her lungs, Steve stepped closer to her and pulled her into his side, Vision being sure to step away so they could have a moment.

He moved over to a log abandoned on the floor, lowering himself and sitting with his back against it, putting his hand back over the wound he'd gotten because though it was artificial he could still feel pain, and maybe that's why he was more human than Ultron had been. "There is a way for us to find out when he arrives," he mumbled, feeling wary as the last time he'd brought up the dreams to Artemis he'd caused quite an argument.

"How?" Steve questioned.

"Your dreams," Vision answered, looking to Artemis and Steve did too, both of them staring at the girl whose eyebrows were being crushed together and whose head was shaking from side to side.

"What? Vision, no, I'm not really up for a nap right now," she argued, not even thinking if she stopped and calmed her heart down for a moment that she'd be able to just fall asleep on the forest floor. The android shook his head in the same manner that Artemis had.

"I've been doing a calculation in my head, and it seems only logical that if the space stone is able to send these visions to you, connect with you despite all the space between you, then perhaps-"

"I'm able to connect with them…" His theory made sense, but only because she'd been wondering the same thing ever since she started seeing the Sentience appear. It had always been the Sentience speaking to her and never the other way around, yet if their souls were really that entwined, shouldn't she have been able to talk to them? But she'd never really tried to do it either, mainly because she didn't have any idea how she could possibly do such a thing.

"It would be a really useful ability to have right now, I'm not going to lie," Steve urged, his eyes holding a surprising amount of sympathy for his lover. He would have hated being in her position, having to try and figure out something he had no idea about that would lead him to seeing Thanos of all people. And that was one of the bigger things which Artemis would agree with him on, she didn't want to search Thanos out, his face already stored enough in her memories that she didn't want to add anymore but her meeting him was inevitable and it would actually be useful to know where Thanos was, how close he was to reaching them. They'd needed to know how long they had left to get the stone off of Vision's head.

Really, she'd never had a choice.

Artemis shook out her hands, twisting her neck in a circle to crack it, and then she gestured with her hand at the ground in front of her. "Alright, Steve, stand here," she ordered, and though he sent her a questioning look, he still followed her instructions. She grabbed both of his hands, needing the skin to skin contact and then she started to stare intensely into his eyes, taking in every bit of blue she could see and as she did so - to help prevent Steve from thinking she was more insane than he already did - the brunette provided him with an explanation for her actions, "I need to relax myself and my mind, the only time I've ever felt relaxed is when looking into your eyes." Whenever the Space Stone connected with her, she was asleep, which is why Art theorised that she must have to be in a state of relaxation to actually make the connection, calm-minded. And the only time she ever felt truly calm was when she was with Steve.

"How romantic," Steve joked, having to joke in order to try and cheer up Artemis who he could feel was beginning to shake.

"Shut up," she muttered, rolling her eyes before she finally closed them, trying to push her spirit towards the Space Stone, wherever it was in the Universe.

At first she only saw black, and just as she was about to give up hope, she opened her eyes. No, she hadn't opened her eyes, the Space Stone had opened theirs and allowed her to see what was happening. They were on a derelict planet, a planet coloured by beige and brown and orange. They weren't happy colours, like a sunrise over a desert that felt almost exotic, there was something haunting about the emptiness on that planet… because it didn't look like it had always been empty.

Of course it wasn't completely empty, Artemis soon learnt that when she saw her brother.

Her brother, Tony Stark, he was there and he was alive and if she wasn't trying so hard to keep her body and her emotions relaxed then she would have started jumping for joy then and there. She wished to reach out for him, to call his name, but she was bitterly reminded that only her eyes could see what was happening, no other body part could take part in the visit.

She watched silently as her brother sent out something that attached to Thanos' gauntlet, keeping the palm of it open. That clearly was some sort of weak spot, maybe he needed to close his hand or something to use the gauntlet's powers, that information would be very useful in the future for certain. Tony landed in front of Thanos, steel clanging against the planet's rock and echoing through the empty space. "You throw another moon at me, and I'm gonna lose it," he threatened, still making his quips, somethings really never changed but Artemis was quite happy to learn that that was one of the things which didn't.

"Stark," Thanos phrased his name surprisingly without any hatred.

"You know me?" He questioned, asking exactly what Artemis was wondering.

Thanos smiled, and it was almost fondness that seemed to curve his lips, Art could remember him looking at the gauntlet in such a way, like it was a prize. She could only assume that his respect for Tony turned her brother into a target, a man that would have to fall and Thanos was certain it needed to be by his own hands, he was that much of a monster. He would never be anything less though. "I do," the mad Titan answered, "you're not the only one cursed with knowledge." What Artemis didn't know, of course, was the dream that the Titan had had all those days ago about a warrior that would come for his head. The being in his dream had said it would be a woman, yet the eyes that had appeared on his skin were a lot like the ones he'd seen the man in iron possess.

Tony sighed, clearly not bothered by the Titan's 'holier than thou' bullshit. "My only curse is you," he responded curtly as rockets on his back were suddenly launched, Thanos letting out a curse as they exploded on his skin, covering him in smoke but not really doing any actual damage. Tony hadn't needed to do damage. As her brother charged, he put his legs together and his suit extended somehow, creating what looked like one giant battering ram which he pounded into the Titan's chest, falling back and then extending the same weapons on his two fists that he easily collided with Thanos' chest once more when the alien tried to march over to him. Rocket's blasted from his side, making the hit even more powerful.

His suit had clearly had a serious upgrade, the technology it was displaying far superior to anything she'd ever seen. And it brought her even more hope, because perhaps her brother would be able to take care of Thanos before the Titan could get to Earth. But in the back of her head, she knew it was impossible.

Tony's battering rams forced Thanos back into a pile of rocks that crumbled beneath him, and even the Titan seemed shocked for a moment that the smaller human had managed to knock him off of his feet, but he didn't waste any time before getting back up, reaching out with his hand and snapping off the metal mask around Tony's face. Her brother looked up to Thanos, shaken and with wide eyes that could have broken her heart had Artemis dared to let any emotions pass by the barrier she'd put up. Calm, she needed to stay calm.

The suit managed to form another helmet just as Thanos punched Tony again, sending him backwards onto the ground where dirt could fly up and surround him. As her brother recovered, Thanos finally managed to break the glove-like weapon Tony had used to ensure Thanos kept his hand open at all times.

Then she started to see Thanos' true power at work.

Purple glowed on his fist as he threw out the limb, power being sent out with the movement that shot out like lightning towards Tony but thankfully her brother managed to pull a shield out of nowhere which mostly protected him from the purple fire cascading towards him. He was being pushed back though, at least being behind that shield gave him enough time to formulate a new plan he immediately put into action, spinning his body around to dodge the purple energy, then flying forward towards Thanos. Again the Titan raised his gloved hand but Tony kicked at him, forcing the hand down and then from his foot grew clamps which sunk into the ground and kept the Titan's hand locked beneath.

Again the battering ram appeared, a rocket launching from the elbow which allowed his swing to be much more harsh, the hit enough to make the God-killer _bleed_. Even Thanos seemed to be shocked by that as he stroked his cheek that was becoming stained by red, a noise passing his lips that was somewhere between disbelief and humour. "All that for a drop of blood," he phrased before easily raising his hand up off the ground, knocking Tony back and onto the floor, the Titan once again raising his fist and repeatedly beginning to punch the superhero.

 _No_. Artemis felt the panic and the dread and the sorrow rise up in her like a screeching flock of birds but she refused them, she kept that barrier up, she had to. She needed to be with her brother, be there for him and that was her only way. Perhaps if she stayed there then he would eventually sense her and fight harder because he knew she was watching, he'd always had a hard time disappointing her (he never really had). The guilt was the loudest bird, the one that flapped its wings with the intentions to create tornadoes, because Art knew that she should have been with him in that moment and maybe if she was then she could do something more.

She should have been there with him.

The repeated hits took their toll on his armour, parts of it coming off. Thanos seemed to grow tired of just smacking him and so he picked Tony up and shot more purple energy at him, that time actually hitting Tony and causing him to be shot back where he landed roughly on dust covered ground.

Artemis watched as Tony continued to fight back, sending out energy beams from his palm repulsors, the suit rebuilding itself. But it was all so useless. Thanos reflected the beams, continuing to approach him. When Thanos was close enough, he knocked Tony's mask clean off, her brothers face now fully revealed and it showed only terror. He went to hit Tony again, but with a grunt he grabbed a hold of Thanos' wrist and tried to keep the fist back, they repeated this movement and once Tony had a hand free, he created a blade.

She was reminded of when Loki tried to pull the same move and it didn't end well.

It didn't end well for Tony either.

As he threw out the blade, Thanos easily snapped the piece of armour off of the suit and then he drove it into her brothers stomach.

"No!"

She cried out, accidentally unlocking the barrier that had thus far kept behind it a thousand other emotions, all of which had stabbed at her insides like a thousand knives. Artemis' legs gave way and Steve immediately caught her. She was back in her body.

The brunette found herself grasping at him, trying her hardest to calm herself down but it was too late, the tears were falling down her cheeks as a rainstorm inside her mind flooded her body.

She was drowning, Tony was dead and she was drowning.

Tony was dead, it was all her fault for not being there, and she was drowning beneath a thousand emotions and it hurt so much.

Steve did his best to comfort her despite not knowing what was going on, not knowing what she'd seen. He rested her head against his chest, stroking his hands through her hair as she vibrated against his body, choking on the sobs trying to escape her throat.

Tony had died.

Oh god, her brother was dead and the last time they'd seen each other she'd been so cruel. He'd deserved better, and she couldn't even give him that. It was like Noah all over again, someone she loved was dying and that meant she wouldn't get the time to prove herself, prove to Tony that she was a good sister and that she really did care for him and love him and appreciate everything he'd done for her. She couldn't do that. She couldn't do that anymore because he was dead.

Everything hurt, her entire body feeling both cold and hot and like her skeleton was made of glass instead of bone and like her tongue was metal rather than flesh and like the world itself wasn't a world anymore but a senseless grave. She was standing on a grave.

The only thing that actually felt real for her was Steve. Her soldier. His arms strong around her, his lips pressing chaste kisses against her head as they whispered out meaningless words that were so important for keeping her there in that moment. She just wanted to go back to the Space Stone though, to see that Tony had somehow survived. But she couldn't. She couldn't recreate that connection because she couldn't relax any part of herself.

Wanda finally arrived at the scene, looking between Artemis who was collapsed on the floor with only Steve holding onto her, sobbing her heart out, and Vision who was looking at the ground with shame, a hand across his stomach where she could see a wound peaking out. She stepped closer to Vision, "are you okay? Is Amelia okay? What happened?"

"Tony," she finally managed to whimper out a word, only a single one, but considering the tears that flooded her face it was easy for them to all guess what she'd seen in that vision. Steve clutched her even tighter.

All of a sudden Vision clenched his eyes shut, the stone on his forehead begin to glow as he winced and Steve found Amelia doing the same thing in his hands, the brunette bringing her hands up to her head and squeezing it whilst gritting her teeth, as though she was trying to push out some pain in her forehead.

"What, what is it?" Wanda questioned, panicked, pressing her hand against his cheek.

Vision began to look around panicked, whilst Artemis was staring emptily at the ground, "he's here," they both chorused together.

* * *

 **A/N: Oh shittttttttttttttttttttttttt, I'm not ready for tomorrow's chapter guys. But it's fine, it totally ends with Steve and Amelia going to the farmhouse together. It totally does. Think happy thoughts guys. THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS. EVERYTHING'S FINE!**

 **To Pitspee, honestly that's my exact reaction too. And honestly you have no idea how saddened I am that I couldn't include Thor until now, I wish he could have been included in the Civil War part or something. I miss writing him lol. And I just…. You need to stop hacking me. I might possibly be planning something along the lines of that POTC scene in another project of mine and I just…. Stop it. You're seriously scaring me. Just admit that you're hacking me okay, I promise not to be mad. And I love the idea of Santa Thor, he totally could be Santa. Have you ever seen him and Santa in the same room before? Coincidence, I think not. Ahaha, I wish Amelia was canon too, just cause it'd be interesting to see her irl.**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS REFERENCING! I have no idea what the name is either though. And if Tony was on the planet he'd have been able to hear her, but sadly he's on Titan so he couldn't :(**

 **To shugokage, thank you! Glad the action wasn't boring!**

 **To CrumblingUniverses, I think I just prefer writing angst and fluff so much more than action that I hate it a lil. Idk. I'm glad you liked it though. And I literally couldn't wait to watch the trailer, which was even more troubling cause I didn't have internet at my hostel so I had to travel to my friends house and just the waiting, it killed me. THE SONG IS ICONIC I LOVE IT! I'M SO GLAD RAGNAROK BROUGHT THAT SONG BACK TO POPULARITY YOU HAVE NO IDEA! And lol, yeah, the purple asshole who shall not be named will finally make his grand appearance next chapter. Have your defibrillator at the ready friend.**

 **To Assbitch67, YES! YES AND MORE YES'! THOR IS SANTA! IT IS CANON! And honestly I feel like if I was in this story I'd just be stood at the side of them screaming to get to the farmhouse too lol. I'd get strange looks but oh well. I just want them to be happy lol.**

 **To xLaBellaVita, ahaha thank you, I do try my best. Though this story is about to not be updated for a year lol.**

 **AND A BIG THANK YOU TO EVERYONE THAT READ THE CHAPTER, BLESS YOUR SOULS! SEE YOU IN THE NEXT ONE!**


	122. Chapter One Hundred and Sixteen

**CHAPTER ONE-HUNDRED AND SIXTEEN**

* * *

"She will rise. With a spine of steel and a roar like thunder, she will rise."

― **Nicole Lyons**

* * *

Here is what Artemis knew: Tony had been stabbed and was most likely dead because Thanos was now arriving on Earth, and if Thanos was also arriving on Earth then that meant he'd gotten the Time Stone as well, so he was after the Mind Stone and they had no time left to get it off of Vision's head, the invisible countdown had hit zero, they'd basically lost.

Artemis knew that she felt lost. Inside of Steve's arms she was staring at the ground with an empty expression, unable to cry any more or even feel grief because every emotion seemed so pointless in that moment.

All that hoping she'd done, all that believing in their cause, what had it been for? A victory had never been a possibility, that's what Gran had taught her and despite the elder woman always being right, the brunette had chosen to ignore that part all because she didn't want to. Because it was too heartbreaking, to know that even after the two years free from fighting she'd have to return to a war with an end that she'd always feared. It had gotten even worse as well, because she was with Steve again, and even that wasn't allowed to last. Fate or destiny or just good old bad luck, didn't want her to be with him in the way she wanted.

"Amelia," Steve mumbled quietly, looking down at the still girl in his arms, eyes filled with pity, wishing he could do more to take care of her like he had after her bad dream, but with Thanos literally on their doorstep he just couldn't. If he did, then Thanos would kill them all and then he definitely wouldn't be able to take care of her. The brunette didn't respond, didn't even move after he called her name, she just kept looking at the ground as though she were waiting for it to swallow her up entirely. Steve simply had to accept that she wasn't there, and he didn't blame her considering the way she'd reacted after connecting with the Space Stone and seeing her brother. Clearly something had happened to Tony, something the soldier didn't want to think about because if he concentrated on it too much then he'd end up just like Artemis.

He sighed, and though she could feel the way his chest deflated and although she could feel her heart clench at the knowledge that she was in some way disappointing her soldier, she still couldn't bring herself to move.

Her brother was dead, and soon they all would be. That was what she knew.

Steve gently lifted her from his lap, placing her down at the side of him and though his heart was denying every movement he made, he left Artemis' side with a single kiss being pressed against her forehead. He hoped that kiss would tell her he wasn't abandoning her like he had back in the Siberian base, he was still going to be there with her, still close.

It was after one last hug, one last squeeze of her limp body against the soldier's body, that the wind began to pick up ominously. It shook the trees around them both, nature itself shivering. "Everyone, on my position," Steve uttered into the comms, trying to keep his voice steady and calm. He had to be brave, he always had to be brave. "We have incoming."

It didn't take them long to arrive, most of the enhanced already having been on their way to protect Vision.

Okoye and T'Challa looked around quietly, gazes hard as they searched for who they knew was coming. Natasha mumbled a 'what the hell' with Sam stood by her side, not so used to the strange feeling that clutched her body, filling the entire forest with an ominous tension that only seemed to tighten to a suffocating point when across from them in an opening in the forest, a cloud of grey and blue began to swirl out of nowhere.

The cloud grew wider and wider, revealing itself as a portal that Thanos stepped through.

Artemis looked up from the floor then, eyeing him up with a disinterested gaze. He didn't overwhelm her, in fact, the brunette noticed that he was smaller than she imagined and that was the only thing that threw her. It seemed nothing could surprise her anymore, not even the world destroyer, the God-killer, because Art had finally accepted that he was always going to arrive there and they were always going to fight him and soon they were going to lose, as they always would have, no matter what she did.

He was still quite big of course, just not a giant, not like the skyscrapers in Wakanda, not even as big as a house. Perhaps a small one. And he was indeed purple, that wasn't something she'd imagined. The Titan didn't wear any armour on his body. She supposed that he didn't feel like he needed to, not with the gauntlet on his hand, the world's most powerful weapon.

Everyone around her seemed to prepare to fight, Wanda twirling her fingers and red spreading from them, the witch ready to protect her man. Steve had moved to step in front of her seated body, as though he was trying to hide her, keep her from being a target. That tugged on her heart a little, the first bit of emotion she'd been able to feel since realising how helpless they all were.

"Cap, that's him," Bruce explained, though the soldier had already guessed as much.

Steve raised his hand, the Wakandan shield stretching out and taking it's full form across his arm. He was ready to attack the monster in front of him. The soldier did not see a world-destroyer, he just saw another menace that thought he knew what was best for the Universe and all the life within it, someone like Pierce or the Red Skull. A bully. And above all else, he was a bully that had made _his girl_ sad, and that was something Steve just couldn't stand for.

"Eyes up," the soldier ordered, looking back to Artemis one more time, finding her staring back at him with an expression on her face that was almost convincing enough to make him throw the weapon aside and retreat them two to the farm house. Almost. He had to turn away, but he would never leave her, Steve knew he could never leave her again because his soul just wouldn't be able to last another day away from her. Which was why he needed to fight Thanos, to ensure there were more days for the two of them. "Stay sharp," he finished, beginning to charge forward and he was followed by everyone but Wanda and Vision.

Thanos didn't run into the battle, he simply walked, like he was just going for a stroll in the forest and anything that got in his way was a pesky fly that he could easily swat away. That's exactly what the Avenger's ended up being against him.

Bruce flew in first, using the rockets on his feet to boost him up in the air and as his suit's hand clenched into a fist, Thanos raised the gauntlet and closed his own fist, Bruce suddenly turned blue and see-through, his body flying through Thanos' rather than colliding with it. He only became solid again as he reached a rock, his body somehow going inside of it and becoming a part of it, stuck.

Steve, the fastest of them all, reached him second and though the soldier had moved to do an immediate life-ending move, he found his body being whisked away by the purple energy, throwing him to the side of Thanos' path.

T'Challa extended his claws as he launched his body high into the air, another move that was easily prevented by the calm Titan. He grabbed a hold of T'Challa's neck, and though the Black Panther clawed at his impossibly strong skin, it was like he'd become a newborn kitten, easily punched down into the ground.

Sam flew forward, launching his guns, Thanos countered by sending out a blast of energy which stopped his wings and guns working completely, making the pilot crash land onto the floor.

"Wanda," Vision said breathlessly from behind the witch, reaching out for her arm and though she turned her head, her eyes did remain on Thanos. She was trying to figure out how she'd fight him off, if she even could. "It's time," he did not say the words happily, that was clear by the sorrowful expression on his face.

"No," her voice shook but there was a determination to be found in there too.

"They can't stop him, Wanda, but we can," he continued to try, and his desperation was clear. He wasn't asking Wanda to do it out of some desire to sacrifice himself or to take the fight against himself, he truly believed that he was the only one that would be able to stop Thanos. That Wanda was the only one who'd be able to destroy a stone, the Mind Stone, that was stuck to his head keeping him alive and conscious. He grabbed her hand once more, harsher, desperately pulling her to face him entirely and hear the words he was saying. "Look at me," he demanded, "you have the power to destroy the stone."

"Don't," she demanded, unable to even think about it, let alone have a conversation with Vision about having her _kill_ him. It wasn't fair. The witch turned back to face Thanos, ready to fight him off, ready to kill him, ready to do anything but kill the man she loved.

That was love.

"You must do it. Wanda, please." When he pulled Wanda to face him for a third time, he saw that her lip had started to wobble and though she'd done her best to keep on a brave face she was losing the grip she'd had as he continued to push the conversation. His hand slipped down her arm, wrapping around her hand which he brought against his cheek. It was a selfish move, but he'd wanted to feel her skin against his. "We are out of time."

 _It wasn't fair_. Artemis could remember when the two had first joined the team, practically children, Vision had literally been born a few days prior. But they'd grown together, and it was another one of fate's cruel jokes that they'd had to grow and become fighters like her and Steve, their entire relationship a constant jump between fights and then it was ending there, in another war. It was miraculous really that despite all the fighting they'd managed to find each other and touch one another's hearts, but then Art realised it wasn't so miraculous, because she'd done the exact same thing with Steve.

Which is why it broke her heart even more, because they were another couple unable to have a peaceful life, unable to have any sort of life.

And as Artemis thought over that more, she realised that she simply couldn't allow it. Vision and Wanda were still so young, their relationship still new though it had been blooming for a long time, and that meant they still had a potential future.

She and Steve had had their chance, and she'd ruined that by being an idiot. But perhaps that was why their reuniting was even more special, it was her and Steve's own special, and horrible, way of saying goodbye for the final time.

"Wanda," Artemis called, tone hard like ice as her eyes glazed over with a frost that twinkled like frozen water under moonlight. Her hand that had been slack at her side tightened around the staff she'd used against Gollum. The witch did turn to face her, happily looking away from Vision and welcoming a change of conversation, hopeful that her sister might have another plan which would prevent Vision's death. Artemis had exactly that, but she knew Wanda wouldn't like it either, which is why she couldn't tell her, all she could say was: "don't you dare."

As the brunette stood up from the floor - no frailty being found in her form as she rose up like a phoenix would rise from their ashes - Wanda could only stare at her sister with a confused expression on her face, especially when she saw the spear in her hand which she had such a tight grip on that her knuckles were turning pale white. "What are you doing?"

Art kept her eyes on Thanos, watched as he continued to fight against their companions, continuing to approach the trio. "Wanda," she repeated her name, the name coming out softly, showing just how much she truly did care for her little sister, "I need you to know, that you are _so_ brilliant. And I know I've apologised but I am so sorry for ever doubting your abilities, for ever doubting you." They both thought back to Nigeria before the Accords happened, when she'd pushed Wanda aside even though the witch probably would have been able to stop Rumlow's bomb from going off and killing a lot of people. "I don't doubt you anymore, I know that you are so strong, and so beautiful, your soul is so beautiful. And because of that, you deserve more than any of this. Be happy with Vision, okay? Find a farm, adopt a baby, get a dog. Just… _be happy_." Because she never would be.

Thanos had fought against Rhodey, defending himself against all the rocket's the War Machine had sent out and disposing of the iron man easily. When Bucky and Addy tried to attack, raising their guns and running towards him, shooting bullets wildly, he was unaffected and just shooed the couple away, the two of them falling down onto the ground in different directions. Okoye was thrown away, Natasha falling beneath ground that he lifted up with the use of his gauntlet. Groot tried to fight him, sending out vines that he just broke through like he was pushing off paper from his body. No one was a match for him, not with the gauntlet he had.

Not even the brunette was a match for him, but she didn't exactly plan on fighting him. She started to approach him, her steps slow, her mind and heart needing time to find courage for what she was about to do but it seemed harder than she thought. Suicide never required courage, it required only desperation and she had plenty of that.

Steve moved back towards Thanos, sliding on the floor beneath the Titan with his Wakandan shields at the ready. He attacked the Titan's legs first, managing to knock him down slightly, then moving to do an uppercut and Thanos almost looked delighted as he actually felt pain from the hit. The man he was facing clearly wasn't an ordinary human. That became even more obvious as he moved to grab him with his gloved hand and the super soldier grabbed it and managed to keep him back, managed to match his strength.

The brunette watched in amazement, her steps pausing as she saw her soldier cry out, that one yell conveying all the thoughts in his mind. He was fighting for humanity, for his friends, for _her_. Thanos looked obviously perplexed as the soldier continued to clench his teeth and fight back, always fighting.

Her poor soldier, the man out of time, always fighting. But maybe after that day, he wouldn't. Maybe if she fulfilled her sacrifice, Steve would return to the farm house and live a peaceful life, all wars ending for him. That's what she wanted for him. No, she wanted for him to have that life with her, but it seemed that no longer was a possibility. It didn't seem like it had ever really been a priority.

He continued to fight for her, for every human, for the little people, but even that wasn't enough as Thanos used the fist he had free and punched her soldier down to the ground, that move enough to cause a ripple of fury to pierce her body. She grabbed onto it with the same tight grip she was using around the spear before that anger could escape her, the brunette knowing that the rage would be a useful tool.

"Thanos!" She screamed out his name, time seemed to come to a stand still as he stepped over Steve's body and finally faced her, finally noticed the small girl standing alone in the woods, the only thing between him and the Mind Stone. He wouldn't have stopped his walking, wouldn't have paid her any mind, if he hadn't of noticed her eyes.

They were black and filled with stars and he was sure of it, they were the ones he'd seen in his dreams.

"Get out of my way," he ordered her, and it was perplexing for everyone who heard that conversation because they'd expected Thanos to simply push her aside but he almost seemed scared to approach her. Instead, he was giving out orders, using his words as dull weapons that clearly didn't phase the brunette. "You can not stop this, this is destiny."

The Titan moved to take another step, a warning step, but he found himself locked in place and when he looked down at his feet he found that they were coated in swirling black and white energy, similar to the energy he'd witnessed when using the Space Stone. He looked back over to her, mouth hanging open.

"I think you will find that I am much more powerful than destiny," she responded, and then her wings began to spread out, filling up the entire space available in that opening in the woods.

He eyed their glory, the magnificence of the large wings overwhelming. He'd seen space, he practically lived in it, yet in those wings he saw a new Universe entirely, new constellations that glimmered and winked at him. He was overrun by a sense that the Universe she held in her gift would consume him. "Who are you?" He asked, head shaking slightly, breathless because she looked like an ordinary human yet she also looked like she was spectacularly something else.

Finally, she felt it then, it wasn't courage, but it was definitely something. An understanding that her entire life had been culminating up to that point, the delicate threads of her existence joining together to form a tapestry that was decorated with that moment right there. The events on it beforehand at first seeming insignificant but then it was suddenly imbued with a much deeper - and much darker - meaning. It was the Universe's greater plan, not just Gran's, not just the Space Stone's. It was her destiny. To be there, in that moment. She understood that she was both the architect and the tenant of her own imminent doom and she could feel it so acutely like an ache in her chest, like the chains that locked her in that moment were wrapping around her heart. The Universe was a brutal and wonderful place, and that was where it placed her. There, in front of Thanos, where she would make the ultimate sacrifice.

"I am _Amelia Stark_ ," she replied, proudly. No longer scared of that name, of being the warrior. She knew who she was, who she _had_ to be.

She was definitely Amelia Stark, Steve's Amelia Stark, Tony's little sister, a family member for the Avenger's. A fighter. A girl who knew all too well bloody knives and bloody hands, and the pile of ashes from which pheonix's would always rise. She was Amelia Stark, the girl who would save the man she loved.

"And I am also the Space Stone. I am it as much as it is me." The puzzle pieces all began to fit in Thanos' mind, why he'd been dreaming of her, why she felt so familiar to him, why she was more than just an ordinary human, because she was connected to the Space Stone somehow, the same stone that would unlock his victory.

A wind pushed through the forest once more, far more powerful than the one that had happened when Thanos arrived. It whistled through the trees, leaves rustling noisily, and it was almost like nature was releasing a roar, a cheer for the brunette who stood against the world-destroyer with a steeled gaze, no fear found anywhere in her expression.

Leaves abandoned the trees, beginning to fly around Thanos and the brunette like a hurricane, dirt from the earth joining it and from that dirt joined the dust of the army that she had previously destroyed with her powers, it twinkled around them and the Titan felt his body stiffen out of fear because he'd been in a much more aggressive version of the storm around them before, and that time he'd had his entire body cut up and eyes revealed under his skin. It was something he'd only ever want to experience once.

 _Amelia_ couldn't resist looking around either, surprised by what was happening herself though she didn't let it show. Her powers were not the reason for the small storm. As she looked to her side, that became even more obvious. As stood at her side, facing Thanos with the same determined and hateful eyes, was herself as a child. But it wasn't her, it was the Sentience in the form she seemed to have chosen as her favourite.

They looked to one another, and the Sentience nodded her head, putting on her best smile. They understood the price of what was about to happen as well, understood that if she died, then they died too.

The brunette looked forward once more, looking to Steve instead of Thanos because he was the most important thing to her. Out of everything and everyone, he was her person, her soul mate, the person that was a part of her even more than the Sentience. And despite the stumbles, they were together, they always would be.

As Amelia looked at him, she realised that she did not fear death. She didn't fear oblivion, or an eternal darkness, nor hell or heaven. What she feared most, was her name being plucked from the air and becoming surrounded by a silence meant only for things which were no longer existent. She feared that they would forget about her, or never find pieces of her.

But that would never happen, she realised, because her name was engraved on Steve's heart, spilt like paint over an entire farm house, written on the inside of many scrapbooks that she hoped he would find and take for himself to visit from time to time.

She did not fear death, and she did not fear dying in that moment, for Amelia Stark knew that at the very least, Steve, her soldier, would look for her everywhere and find her in everything. He would look at the sun and think of her, see her figure sculptured in the rain, her spirit dancing in the air he breathed, her eyes in the glinting snow and he would hear her voice in the first flock of birds that rise in a morning. He would look up to the night sky, and he would think of her. He would never forget her, because he loved her.

And it was cruel that she would have to die, it was cruel that their future had always been spelt out that way, but they had both faced so many things and Amelia was able to see that it was a gift that her final moments got to be with him.

Amelia looked at his face and she tried her damndest to record every detail of it in her mind so that if reincarnation was really a thing then in the next life she'd be able to hunt him down and find him again. Maybe in the next life they'd get their farm house. Once she was sure she had him printed onto her mind, she did all that she could think to do for Steve as a piece of comfort, she smiled. It was sad, and it wobbled, and it made his already concerned expression deepen.

Amelia was ready, and in her mind all she repeated was that she was going to do it for him. She was going to do it for her soldier, for Tony, for Wanda and Vision, for Natasha, for Sam, for Rhodey, for Bucky and Addy, for her dogs, for Jonathan, for Charles Spencer and his mother, for Thaddeus Ross. She was going to do it for everyone who had ever affected her life, who had built her into the strong and independent woman that she was, for the _hero_ that she had become. And she was going to do it for Gamora, for all the people that had suffered from the hands of others but still escaped and still lived on. She was doing it for all the survivors.

She looked back to Thanos for a short second, "and I am _not_ yours."

Then she held up her hand with the spear in it, but Steve did not see the spear, all he saw was the promise ring sitting on her finger like a piece of art displayed in a museum. He was so engaged by that object that he did not notice the way she spun the staff around in her hand, nor the way she stared at him with desperation, wanting to do nothing but look at him for eternity.

He did not notice her plunging the sharpened end into her chest until it was too late.

Amelia Stark would often wonder when she was truly born, not her birthday, but the moment when she was reborn and AS09 was slowly killed. She'd always say that it was when she met Steve and he showed her a new way of living that, despite being a cold-blooded killer, AS09 had found desirable. And then she would always believe that the day Amelia was conceived in a sense, was the day that she killed Waverly. The woman was a nobody really, to AS09 she was another victim. But something strange had happened the day AS09 killed Waverly, and Amelia believed that was the spark that made the killer realise she wanted so much more than what Hydra were forcing onto her.

Waverly had asked her for a name, and when AS09 didn't respond, the victim had scoffed and turned confident. She'd made AS09 jealous, insanely jealous. Because Waverly had a name and she didn't. That was the catalyst, the moment AS09 started to realise none of what she experienced was normal or sane or even okay. That was when Amelia started to grow, when AS09 felt that first flash of fury because she wanted more for herself.

And finally, after years, Amelia Stark had more. She had a name, an entire name! It even had a middle name! And she had Steve again, a man that had loved her with his entire being, holding nothing back and being honest with his mistakes which is something Pierce, another man that claimed to love her, didn't do. She had friends, Natasha was her best friend who'd pushed her out of the darkness on her knees, their friendship starting out rocky but blossoming into something as strong as vibranium.

Amelia Stark had scars as well, she'd lost faith in people after Rebecca, she'd made stupid decisions by thinking the only person she'd need in the world was Steve, who at the time had been applying bandages to his own wounds as well. She'd lost Noah. That was the biggest one, the scar that covered all of her others from Hydra, making what her childhood had been look like a fairytale.

But she'd never looked at her scars with disgust, not even as a child, she'd always seen them as a tapestry, a storyline covering her body. She was glad to have gone through those things, not glad that they happened, but glad to have survived them and lived on to have all of her happy moments which she replayed over and over again in her head as she fell to the floor.

Hot chocolates with Steve. Being in the lab and pretending she understood what her brother was talking about. The awkward small talk she'd have with Bruce. The nights filled with alcohol and terrible superspy movies with Natasha. Watching her little sister become more than what Hydra made her, blossoming into a strong and passionate woman. Banter with Sam. Rolling her eyes at her brothers behaviour with Rhodey at her side doing the exact same thing. Having her day brightened a little bit more by Thor's golden retriever smile. Helping Vision follow his heart and fall in love with her sister.

The gazebo.

That bright, beautiful, candle-lit gazebo in an empty field being covered by beautiful music as Steve and Amelia danced horribly together, humongous smiles filling their faces because if their life was a movie and if 'happily ever after's did exist then that would be where their movie ended because it was just that perfect.

Amelia Stark had lived a life, the life she'd wanted and not what Hydra had enforced, and that meant she got to die with the one thing AS09 didn't have: a name. An identity. A family. The knowledge of what love really was.

She collapsed to the floor once the spear was piercing her chest, unable to stand as a sickness overwhelmed her followed by horrifying pain that burned her entire body. The brunette grit her teeth, she didn't want to die screaming, not in front of Steve or her sister.

As her knees touched the floor black and white energy seemed to leak from her body, gushing from her like she had a million open wounds. It felt like she did, like the blood was being drained as her powers seeped violently from her body, pushing a breeze that seemed to force everyone back a little. Even Thanos was forced to take a step back, no longer bound by her powers as it all left Amelia's control. The only person who'd fought to stay in his place was Steve, the soldier watching her with an open mouth and tears pouring from his eyes. She could see his mouth was moving, though she didn't know what he was saying.

"What…" Thanos couldn't finish his question, and Amelia could only assume he was wondering what the hell was going on. She didn't have the energy to answer him, instead, she just looked at his gauntlet, and he followed her eyes.

The Space Stone had turned pale and translucent, like it was a bunched up mess of glass rather than something which once held incomprehensible power.

He looked back at her, wide-eyed. She thought it was because she'd foiled his plan and he couldn't believe that it had been her, a small little human from Earth. Her guess had been close.

Thanos was impressed that such a small human could accomplish such a huge feat, taking the life out of an Infinity Stone was no easy task, or it wasn't supposed to be. He was curious to find out how she'd managed such a thing by merely stabbing herself. Clearly she was connected to the stone somehow, did that make her not human? He wasn't sure. She had every trait of a human, everything, including false hope. Whilst he wanted to find out more, ask her questions, learn how she'd done something no one had before (perhaps he could meld himself with the stones and become even more powerful), he knew that he needed to fix the mess she'd created and get the Mind Stone off of the android behind the brunette, Vision holding onto Wanda tightly as she sobbed into his chest, unable to even look towards Amelia after she'd realised what her older sister was doing.

He took another step towards the fallen warrior, each movement he made clearly apprehensive and it was the only sign that Thanos, the world destroyer, the God-killer, was scared of the black smoke-like energy leaking out of the girl, a residual effect left from the dream the Space Stone had clearly been the reason behind.

The energy didn't affect him at all, it didn't seem to really be doing anything; the energy sweeping the field was simply the corpse of her powers. And soon Amelia would be one too. Thanos found himself quickening his steps as he was reminded that he had very little time with her left. It was truly a shame as he had so much he wanted to tell her. He had to choose what was the most important, for the both of them.

"You're a Stark," he observed whilst kneeling down in front of her. He was able to recognise the traits of Tony in her, but there also some things that were unique to just her. He reached out and rested a large purple hand on her head, making her face look like a pea in comparison to the size of his hand. "There's something about your family, you're strong-willed people, you should be proud." He pulled her head up further so she could look him directly in the eyes, he felt like eye contact was required for that moment. She was too weak to put up a fight, even her eyes fell meagerly, fluttering repeatedly, dulling with every second that passed. It didn't matter much to the Titan as long as she could see him raise up the gauntlet, slowly, a smile slipping onto his lips. It was a knowing smile. "But I'm afraid, just like your brother, you've _failed_."

"No-" The pathetic sounding word slipped through her lips far too late as Thanos clenched his fist, the Time Stone on his gauntlet glowing an obnoxious green.

It was a strange sensation, having life itself put back into her. Yet it was somehow familiar, as she'd felt the same thing when she found Steve in the motel room after Rebecca started blackmailing her. It was brisk, her entire body feeling like it was being filled with painless fire. Though, under those circumstances, it felt more like ice freezing over all of her organs, keeping her somewhere between life and death.

As the black and white energy filled her body, the wound on her chest closed up, disappearing completely as the staff fell to the floor with a thud. Amelia let out a gasp, disoriented by what her body had just gone through, yet still, she continued to fight on. She only just managed to grab Gollum's staff once again before Thanos threw his large gloved hand towards her, flinging her body aside and as she landed multiple cracks could be heard, though no one was sure if it was the bones in her body or the twigs she'd landed on.

Amelia was too numb, both physically and emotionally, not even wanting to think of what had just happened because it meant she'd failed. She'd put everyone's life at risk because she couldn't do what Gran had asked her to do when she was supposed to. She'd failed.

As she looked up, aiming to observe Thanos' next move, her eyes instead landed on Steve. Black connected with blue and she felt a stab in her heart because she could see only concern and betrayal filling his. She'd made him feel that way, and it turned out to all be for nothing.

She reached out with her hand and Steve quickly did the same; they were so close together, but not close enough as their fingers remained inches apart no matter how much they stretched out.

Wanda's powers blasting from her hands created a red tint that was enough to draw the soldier and the psychics attention away from one another. The witch was stood in front of Vision with both of her hands raised, trying to prevent Thanos from getting close to her man, but it was clear how unstable she was in her core. Tears flew down her face and sobs broke her apart. She had just lost her sister, and then the next thing she knew she was fighting against the mad Titan who was far too close to reaching her man. She'd managed to push him back only slightly before he was forcing his way closer.

Closer and closer and closer. He reached Wanda, and there was no one left capable of stopping him.

Thanos threw Wanda aside the same way he had done to Amelia, and then he grabbed Vision by the throat, and then he finally achieved his destiny.

As the Titan pulled the stone from Vision's head he seemed to savour the moment, returning to his old confidence, sure that no one would be able to stop him now that the apparent 'mighty warrior' from his dream had been defeated so easily. The android released pained mewls as Thanos took his time, and when he finally had the stone free, Vision turned completely silent. His entire body was drained of colour and Thanos discarded the android's body like it was a broken doll. He had no interest in the fallen soldier, no, all the Titan cared for was the stone. The Mind Stone, that was finally, after all those years, back in his grasp.

He put the Mind Stone into his gauntlet carefully, the stone eventually falling in like a magnet drawn to the glove. And once it had made contact, a shock of yellow vibrated his body, the power flowing through him and the pain feeling absolutely delicious.

He clenched both hands, releasing a scream as every stone sent a wave of colour through his purple skin, declaring to the world that he possessed it all. He was the most powerful being in the universe.

"No- No," Amelia wheezed, grasping at the dirt, trying to get up, trying to _fight_. Just one last time, it was what Steve would do, it was what he'd taught her. To never give up, to always stand back up, to always _win_. She'd disappointed him enough for one day, she needed to do something that would win them the fight. Anything.

And somehow, despite the way she'd felt so meager only moments ago, after he connected the Mind Stone to the gauntlet Amelia also felt a small buzz of power shake her bones awake. She couldn't yet stand, but she managed to kneel, managed to look up to Thanos and send him a gaze that she wished was powerful enough to stop his heart. Perhaps if he was human than she could have.

Hearing her weeps, Thanos turned around to face her again, able to draw his eyes away from his victory for just a moment so that he could look back at the girl he felt stupid for fearing. It seemed she wasn't anything special after all. "Do not cry child. There was truly no way you would win, you are only human," he explained, a comfort in his own mind.

"That's true, I am just human," the words fell from breathless lips and gritted teeth. Her eyes flew to behind him, and for some reason, she managed to form a knowing smile of her own as she nodded in that direction. "But he's not."

A beam of shocking blue lightning struck Thanos cruelly, pushing him into the dirt he belonged in and sending him flying backwards. He recovered quickly, digging his hand into the floor and pushing his own weight against the lightning so that he could stand up and witness the might thunder God flying above, aiming his axe.

Thanos let out a mighty war cry as he raised his gauntlet and shot out a beam of energy towards Thor, only, it never reached him. There was a reason Thor was known as mighty.

He chucked his axe down towards Thanos and to everyone's surprise, it flew down, crashing against the beam and pushing it away like it was simply water. Even Thanos couldn't believe what he was seeing, which is why he never made a move to get out of the way, believing too much in the power he had to think that defeat was ever an option.

As the axe hit his chest, Thanos threw up his arms, the power he had once been aiming towards Thor blasting out around his body. The axe had hit its target.

Thor landed a short way from Thanos who had fallen down on one knee. The God took his time as he proceeded to walk over to the Titan, allowing the axe to bless the God killer with pulses of pain that rippled through his body. As Thanos released whining sounds of agony, Thor found pleasure in the noise, and perhaps if they were in a different moment, in a different situation, he would even tap his feet.

As Thor finally made contact with Thanos, he placed one hand familiarly on the back of his head and put another on top of the axe. "I told you, you'd die for that." He pushed the axe in further, slowly, eyes fixed only on Thanos' expression so he could watch the beauty of pain blossoming, curving every angle on his face.

Amelia kneeled at the side watching on in horror, because she knew better than anything the difference between killing and torturing. Thor was not killing Thanos, he was feeding himself a form of sickening justice as revenge for his people, for his brother. Another thing she knew better than anyone, was that it was stupid to waste time when it came to Thanos.

"You should have-" the Titan tried to wheeze out a sentence but he seemed to be struggling, still gawling from the pain of the axe embedded in his chest. He leaned closer to Thor, his laboured breathing settling as he managed to put on a mask, hiding the pain he was in to bring glory to his victory. He was still victorious. " _You should have gone for the head_."

With those words, he brought up his hand, and snapped his fingers.

Thor yelled out, "no!" But it was hidden behind the blinding white light conjured from the gauntlet which covered everyone's vision.

When it faded, everything was exactly the same. But also, everything was so, so different.

Standing in front of her was still Thor and Thanos, except Thanos' gauntlet was burnt, melting down his hand, a broken tool.

"What did you do?" Thor asked, and when Thanos gave no answer he repeated the question, the second time being much louder and more guttural.

Thanos still gave no response, he wasn't required to because he wasn't stuck there. He opened a portal using the Space Stone and fell back into it, being transported away whilst the axe fell limply on the floor, a failed tool. As the portal closed, Amelia felt her heart clenching tightly, as though the organ was having a seizure. She did her best to ignore it, still searching around, trying to find what was so different.

"Where'd he go?" Steve asked as he managed to stand, clutching his ribs. He was going to hunt Thanos down, he was going to kill the Titan himself without any care of the cost. He still believed there was a way to win. "Thor?" He called to the silent God, a desperation changing his tone slightly. When Thor finally met Steve's eyes, it was not a comfort. Thor looked hopeless. "Where'd he go?" Steve asked again, not giving up, he never gave up.

"Addy!" Bucky called out, his steps on the leaves below his feet creating a crunching sound that got even louder as he suddenly collapsed, the soldier feeling weak. He was scared, and he needed to find his doll. He continued to look around desperately, grabbing a bunch of leaves and stumbling his way around the space. Steve watched curiously, as did Amelia, neither of them understanding at first why Bucky seemed so panicked, they couldn't feel what he was feeling though.

The strawberry blonde rose up her hand into the air. It became clear why she hadn't been able to search Bucky out first as they all noticed that her leg was bent in a unique position. The metal-armed giant rushed towards her, clutching her tightly, drawing her closer to his chest. Addy made the same sort of movement, wrapping her hands around his arms and holding onto him like if she dared to let go then he'd disappear. "I-I'm here," she whispered, shaking, not sounding so sure.

"What's happening?" He asked her. She was the most intelligent person he knew, yet the strawberry blonde could only give his question a shrug as her answer.

She looked over to the rest of the team, and for the first time her smile was wobbling because she had no idea what was going on, she could just _sense_ that something was very wrong, as could everyone else. She turned back to Bucky, concentrating only on him. "It's fine," she lied, smile pained, "we're fine,"

But Bucky had known Addy for years, far more years than most get to know their loved ones, and he knew when she was lying. "Steve," he called for his friend, begging him to do something amazing like he always had done in the past. Steve looked just as helpless.

Suddenly Addy's hands tightened around Bucky, and then she was turning to literal dust, her body disintegrating in front of everyone's eyes. Bucky followed soon after, seemingly giving up on fighting against what was happening as soon as he started to lose his girl.

They disappeared together, becoming nothing _together_.

"The dust…" Amelia mumbled, staring in awe because it was the same dust she was able to turn her victims into. She wasn't able to finish her sentence though as a sudden weakness overcame her, making her drop to the floor.

"Amelia?" Steve was confused, so confused by what had just happened and when he turned to see his lover collapsed on the floor, it all turned to white-hot panic. "Amelia!" He charged over to her, dropping to the floor and immediately pulling her upper body onto his lap. He stroked her cheek tenderly, concerned after seeing what had just happened to his two friends. He didn't even understand what had happened to them, he just knew that he didn't want it to happen to Amelia. She couldn't. He wouldn't let her. "Don't you dare."

"I'm fine," she told him, understanding why Addy had spoken the same words to Bucky because the strawberry blonde must have looked into her lovers eyes and seen the same panic and sorrow that she saw in Steve's, and wanted so vehemently to make it disappear that she'd even lie just to get rid of it. "I-It's okay."

But he knew she wasn't, he could easily tell by the fact that her body was paling like a star going out. Her eyes began to shut so he shook her body. "No, Amelia, come on," he begged, "you can't do this to me when I just got you back."

It was so sad, so heartbreaking. Amelia didn't want her death to be sad. She'd gone through so much, too much, enough to deserve more than a sad ending. So the brunette searched for anything, something that would allow her to die without being overwhelmed by regret. When her eyes locked onto blue, she was gifted that and more.

Amelia somehow knew what she needed to do, and she knew that she'd have enough power to do so, despite it being the last of the energy that she had. She reached out with her hand, her palm pressing on Steve's cheeks whilst her fingers touched the side of his head. And whilst she continued to stare into his eyes, she also travelled into his mind. The galaxy inside his head was darker than it should have been, the pulses bringing very little light.

The only truly bright thing there, was a singular star, that somehow managed to continue beaming as bright as the sun whilst all the others had seemingly given up on lighting up his mind. She pulled herself closer to it.

Reaching it as quickly as she could, terrified of what she'd see, comforted by what she saw.

Inside the memory was her. Just her.

It was a simple memory, it wasn't a farm house with kids and a dog, nor was it them being victorious on a battlefield, it was her sat silently in bed reading through a cookbook with a hot chocolate he'd made in her hand. She couldn't even remember the moment herself, but it looked like he'd been staring at her.

No words were exchanged, but it was clear what he was thinking as he stared at her. She was so bright in the memory. Practically glowing while the rest of the world was pale. In that moment, Steve had decided that she was his one. The one person his entire life had been working towards meeting. The one person who'd made his entire life worth it.

She was his moon, and without her, his life would be dark.

He loved her. The fact that that was still the brightest memory of them all, untainted by anything the past two years had tackled them with, showed that he still, truly and deeply, _loved her_.

As she came back, Amelia managed an authentic smile, the kind of smile that was easy to display as every part of her body demanded it be on her face.

He loved her, he truly loved her, more than anything else.

And she had loved him, she'd loved him fiercely. Her soul ripped wide open and raw, her entire heart put on display because it was all she had and everything she knew, and she'd given all of that to him like a gift. And it didn't matter how painful that had been, because those past few days had taught her that she could either live her life burning in love or burning for love, there was no escape from the fire. She was glad to have done both with Steven Grant Rogers.

Her soldier had been the first person Amelia Stark's eyes saw when she was reborn after getting the papers that told her what name she was given at birth. She was more than happy to have him as the last thing her eyes saw as well. In fact, it was the only way she ever wanted to leave the world.

"I just got you back," Steve whimpered, voice cracking.

"Steve, I- I lo- I lo-" She couldn't get the words out, her body beginning to feel impossibly light, her eyes closing on their own volition. All the energy she had was gone, but it didn't matter to her so much, Amelia knew that Steve would know what she'd been aiming to say.

Her head fell back so she was staring up at the sky and the last time she opened them, the last time she fought to keep her soul with Steve's, she saw something very curious. It was a blurred silhouette floating down from the sky. Amelia almost believed that it was an angel.

The last thing she felt was a yearning kiss on her cheek, above Steve's favourite freckle-constellation. The last thing she smelt was Steve. And the last thing she heard, was Steve.

"Please don't leave me, Freckles."

* * *

 **A/N: And that's it, that's how part five ends. That's what I'm leaving you all on until part six, until Avengers 4 comes out. Did you honestly expect anything different from me though?**

 **To SnowPaws101, I hope your tests went well, you sound like a very intelligent person so I have all the faith that you did well ^^ You've got a lot of OC's so it's hard for me to remember who's who, Kaiden is the sort of sibling, right? I think James is a great idea personally, it shows that deep connection and makes it very clear the relationship he has. But at the same time, I feel like because of Bucky's deep connection with Steve, he'd personally want that as a middle name. Don't worry about reviewing, I'm just grateful that you're choosing to review at all. Your story still sounds very intriguing and don't worry about updating, I can only update so much because I have so much free time right now. And to be honest I think it's a good thing that you're concentrating on your education rather than the story because the story can always wait. Plus, I have over 200+ stories that I've never posted, and I think it's healthy to just write for yourself. It's a good way to grow. I hope you've enjoyed this chapter lol. And if you ever want to get into contact with me feel free to leave a random review on some of my other work because I won't be able to contact you through chapters on this story for a while.**

 **To Pitspee, ahaha, well I suppose in a way Amelia's getting her revenge because she was definitely third wheeling in Scotland lol. And I did have a separate plan for Amelia going with Tony but in the end, I decided that it would be better if she was with Steve because… well, I'm not cruel enough to make you all wait THAT LONG for her and Steve to get closure lol. And saaaaaame, my heart basically stopped when I watched those scenes because I was totally expecting them to die, and I'd actually prepared myself for them to die in that movie but then literally everyone I didn't expect died. Man, IW was a cruel movie. And also, wow, I'm going to miss your reviews man, they were so insightful and extremely helpful. I hope to talk to you soon again, and maybe see you in some other stories? Or we can have a magnificent reunion when Avengers 4 comes out.**

 **To shugokage, thank you again for reviewing, I hope you (sort of) enjoyed this chapter, I hope to see you again when Avengers 4 comes out.**

 **To rosequartz121, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SO EXCITED FOR THIS CHAPTER LOL! Still, I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you for all the magnificent reviews!**

 **To Assbitch67, I know riiiiiiiiight. I was so prepared for him to die. I literally couldn't breathe the rest of the movie because of that one moment lol. Ah, the return of 'my emotions', still a classic lol. And that's exactly what we'd be, and no doubt they still wouldn't listen to us and we'd just be standing over their graves like 'told you so'. Anyway, I'm super excited to hear your thoughts on this chapter because this is one you never got to read before everyone else though you already knew how it ended. I hope your heart is okay lol.**

 **I feel like I need to do some big emotional speech because it almost feels like the end of an era, but it's not. I'm not going anyway and this story isn't over. Amelia and Steve's story isn't over yet. Plus, I'm not going far. I'm going to be writing a collaboration with Assbitch67, writing Addy and Bucky's story in Bones Becoming Flowers, and then when Avengers 4 comes out y'all know I'll be posting a chapter the same day lol.**

 **Thank you again to everyone, everyone that reviewed, and everyone that simply read the chapter.**

 **So, I guess I'm going to end this with a cliche instead of a big speech. Don't think of this as a goodbye, think of this as a 'see you later, alligator'.**


	123. Part Six

**Part Five**

* * *

 _Do not go gentle into that good night,_

 _Old age should burn and rave at close of day;_

 _Rage, rage against the dying of the light._

 _Though wise men at their end know dark is right,_

 _Because their words had forked no lightning they_

 _Do not go gentle into that good night._

 _Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright_

 _Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,_

 _Rage, rage against the dying of the light._

 _Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,_

 _And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,_

 _Do not go gentle into that good night._

 _Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight_

 _Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,_

 _Rage, rage against the dying of the light._

 _And you, my father, there on the sad height,_

 _Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray._

 _Do not go gentle into that good night._

 _Rage, rage against the dying of the light._

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night, Dylan Thompson

* * *

 **Steve Rogers and Amelia Stark had been through a lot. Madmen with god complexes, people with glacial hearts and vengeance plagued minds, robots, aliens and their own selves. They'd survived it all, every single enemy, every fight, every war, every goodbye and every heartbreak. They were survivors, and this is how their story ends.**


	124. Part Six - Prologue

**PART SIX**

* * *

 **PROLOGUE**

* * *

"In spite of everything, I shall rise."

― **Vincent Van Gogh**

* * *

"Wake up Artemis," an accented voice enthused.

"Wake up Amelia," a female voice drawled.

"Wake up Freckles," a boys voice called softly.

"Wake up AS09," a man's voice demanded.

It wasn't until that final voice reached her ears that something awoke in Amelia, an age-old fear that electrocuted every nerve in her body, making her sit up straight, eyes wide and lips parted, heavy gasps like loud screams rushing past her lips. What her vision found was unexpected, as surprising as the memorable voices which had called her from her slumber.

Three figures stood over her, their eyes fixated on her. Amelia remembered once being told that faces were the first thing people forget. For her, it had always been different. For Amelia, the very last thing she'd ever forget were people's eyes as they were usually what she focused on. She'd enjoyed seeing the light of life in them, and during her younger years, she'd enjoyed watching that light going out. Amelia was able to recognise the eyes in front of her then. Two grey, one blue, each one of them absent of the light of life. Baron Von Strucker. Rebecca Kaplan. Aaron Kaplan.

"W-What-" So many questions passed through her mind. Too many. The words became a jumbled mess and all that left her was a strange noise.

They were supposed to be dead, but Amelia had seen many dead bodies before. Dead bodies paled like the sun had abandoned them, they bloated like balloons, they _smelt_.

Her baffled words were interrupted by Rebecca who started to cackle, breaking the mysterious air when she so humanely raised up a hand to cover her unglamorous open-mouthed laugh. She noticed everyone staring at her and started to wave her hand, beginning to apologise whilst still chuckling. "Sorry, sorry, it's just that the last time I saw that expression on Amelia's face was when I entered the punks warehouse and that was…" Her laugh faded, her smile died, "that was so long ago."

Aaron opened his mouth to comfort her, raising one pale hand and placing it on his mother's shoulder. Amelia could only observe silently, confused at what she was seeing, not just because she'd never really had a chance to see Rebecca and Aaron as mother and son (not kidnapper and hostage), but because they were there in front of her referring to times before they died and having emotional reactions to those moments. How was any of what was happening actually possible?

"Shut up, no one cares," the third member of the risen dead interrupted coldly, focusing everyone's attention on him. Baron Von Strucker, a man she'd never had interactions with except for those she'd seen in the videos, the ones that showed all the torturous experiments he'd done on her, so torturous that her brain had sealed the memories away so she could keep her sanity. He approached her, not stepping too close though, Strucker only wanted to get a better look at his greatest success. "Artemis, tell us, how do you feel right now?"

Why was he calling her Artemis? She couldn't understand it at first seen as he hadn't been alive when she took that name. Then she remembered, it hadn't been the old man in Europe that had introduced the name to her first. It had been Strucker. Project Artemis was the name of the experiment that had mixed her powers with those of the space stone. He'd made the name into something bad, into a nightmare. At least she'd been able to find a new meaning in the name. For her 'Artemis' meant rebirth, it meant being strong when all she'd seemed capable of was weakness.

Amelia's eyes narrowed towards the scientist as she easily recalled the details of his tortures. Unsurprisingly, it made her unwilling to give him the answer he looked greedy for. "Like I must be going insane or something," she mumbled sarcastically, absent-mindedly as her eyes searched through what was around them.

Maybe she was somewhere, but from what she could see, it looked more like she was nowhere. Ash drowned the space around them, covering the bumpy ground and continuing to fall like flakes of stardust, sparkling under absent light.

"I can assure you that you were insane years before now," Rebecca assured, her aggressive words serving as a reminder that once upon a time Rebecca wasn't just Amelia's enemy, once upon a time she'd been Amelia's therapist, the only person who was able to stop her running away from her problems.

Strucker glared at the older woman for interrupting his investigation and made another attempt at directing the conversation for his own personal purpose. "Where do you think you are, Artemis?"

Somewhere. Nowhere. Amelia couldn't be sure when everything was just grey. "I don't- I don't know." It stretched as far as the eye could see, the only things that brought actual colour was herself and the three people in front of her. Not a single one of them was the person she truly wanted to see. The person she _needed_ to see. "Steve," her harsh tone turned feather soft when she said his name, "where is he?"

Aaron approached tentatively, his arms raised in a way she supposed was meant to signify he meant no harm to her. "Do you remember what happened before you came here?"

Her eyes turned sharp as she tried to recall where exactly she'd been before arriving in the current nowhere. Regret crushed her stomach the second memories started leaking through. "We were on a field together, me and Steve… no, we were fighting on a field, we were fighting Thanos and he- oh god." She leaned forward and placed her head in her hands as acid began to threaten the back of her throat.

Aaron closed the space between them, lowering himself to take her in his arms. A shiver ran down her spine. "It's okay Freckles," he soothed, speaking with affection that shouldn't have existed, "well not really, but eventually, maybe."

"Do you know where you are?" Strucker asked again, uninterested in the conversation they were having, only concerned with his research.

Aaron sighed, glaring at the scientist before looking over towards Rebecca pleadingly. "Mom, please tell him to stop, look what he's doing to her," he said, nodding down to her figure that was shaking, though that was more due to her memories than Strucker's questioning. It didn't matter to Aaron, it still felt nice for him to simply be defending her.

Rebecca tutted, not really up for doing what her son had asked her, but hating the idea of listening to Strucker's investigation even more. Instead, she found her own approach. She stepped forward, opening her arms wide and dressing her lips in a knowing smile. "We're all here in a purgatory of your own making Amelia," the doctor revealed, foiling Strucker's research whilst at the same time displeasing her son despite doing exactly what he'd asked for. It was petty of her, but she really wasn't a fan of the feelings her son harboured for the assassin.

Amelia could only stare questioningly at the doctor, and when Rebecca didn't continue explaining on her own, the brunette pushed for one, "what does that mean?"

The knowing smile persisted, building an expression on Rebecca's face like she'd won some great battle. "It means you're dying, Amelia."

There was no expression or words given after that, no reaction came from the brunette as she wasn't sure exactly what she could give back in return to such a statement.

"Mom, be gentle," Aaron hissed, beginning to rub circles on Amelia's back, pretending to be blind to the way she was leaning away from his touch and not giving anything back.

Rebecca rolled her eyes. "Aaron, I love you, but you're being really stupid right now, she's the one who put us here."

"She didn't put me here," he quickly opposed, bringing Amelia back to the time when he'd used a bomb to try and kill both himself and her. She'd forgotten that part. She'd forgotten that he played a part in his own death and that it wasn't all just her, it was hard to think such things though seen as she'd been the one to pluck his life from his body in the end.

"Right, you put yourself here in order to be with her," Rebecca sighed, letting her disappointment known but from the reaction Aaron was giving, it was clear that he'd always been quite aware of it. "A plan which failed _spectacularly_."

"And yours turned out perfectly, did it?" Strucker sassed, a petulantly glum expression on his face which showed he wasn't very happy about the way she'd spoiled his investigation on Amelia. He had so many questions of where they were and why, he knew they were connected because of Amelia, but he didn't know why that put them there in that room. Maybe they weren't, that seemed to be the most likely to him. "Besides, she didn't put me here, which means it has to be something else, another reason."

Amelia let out a low growl that cut all of their conversations short. She didn't care about who they were to her, or who they were to each other. She cared about her brother who she'd watched get stabbed. She cared about Steve who was alone now in a half-empty universe. She cared about everyone and everything else, other than what was happening in that nowhere. "Will you please just _stop talking_ and tell me what the hell is going on?"

"It's like the Doctor said, you are dying Amelia," a new voice entered the conversation. It was aged and silvery. "Dying, but not dead."

The sound of her shoes shuffling in the dust came to a halt once she was stood in front of Amelia. "Gran?" Amelia asked questioningly, more so confused to see the old woman because she didn't fit the pattern of the other three, she wasn't dead and she wasn't her enemy. "What are you doing here?"

The older woman shook her head softly, a smile curving her wrinkled lips that did not reach her eyes which were dull, lightless. "I don't have time to explain that I'm afraid," she responded, "I feel like all our conversations are always rushed nowadays and I am sorry about that, I know you have questions, but I once again need you to listen to me and do as I say, you need to leave this place, leave and, when the time comes, fight. You're ready now, I know you are, you just need to make the decision to go."

"What are you talking about, you know what happened, we've- we've already lost." Amelia's eyes had fallen downcast when she said the last part.

"Yes," Gran confirmed brazenly, "you lost the fight, but not the war."

Amelia shook her head, batting away Gran's positive words as negative words blazed in her mind, "I can't do it again Gran," she confessed, "I can't- I wasn't strong enough, I wasn't smart enough, none of us were, he won and killed them all. Thanos killed all those people and I couldn't do a damn thing to stop him." As she finished that word she sniffed, trying to pull back the tears wetting her eyes as a cloak of defeat wrapped around her like a soggy cloak.

"Such weakness," a voice spat from behind her, the same man's voice that had stirred her violently from the Incognitive state she'd been in before. Dust floated upwards as the man stepped around from his spot where he'd remained unseen. "I know I definitely didn't put that in you."

Amelia rose quickly to her feet, knocking Aaron away but finding it very difficult to care about such a thing, all she cared about was not being looked down upon by the man she would always harbour unforgiving hatred for. "Pierce." Malice coated her tongue as she swore out his name.

He raised out a hand towards her, moving to caress her cheek the way he always used to, the kind touch only ever making her think of all the times he'd hit her on that exact spot, which she'd eventually learnt is exactly what he'd wanted her to think. "Hello my child, I've missed you."

She slapped away the hand before it could actually make contact with her skin. He didn't get to touch her ever again. And he also didn't get to call himself her father. "I'm not your child, Howard Stark is my father."

It was almost too good to be true, this opportunity that was placed before her; Amelia had to remind herself that he wasn't real, just like how her visions of him years ago weren't real. If he were real then she would do so many things, she wouldn't waste a single second, she would rain down a swarm of torture onto his fragile body just like he had done all throughout the first twenty years of her life. She would wait for him to beg and plead but she would never kill him. Death was too merciful for the man before her.

From the moment she'd found out he was dead, Amelia had stored away so many feelings of revenge knowing that they were useless. It had quite possibly been the hardest part when she was hallucinating him, the fact that despite all her hatred that she harboured, there was no way of actually releasing it.

In that moment, she couldn't hurt him, she couldn't bother wasting her time on him because he wasn't the real thing and somewhere out there was Steve. She needed to get back to Steve and the others.

In response to her aggressive words, Pierce snorted, dismissing what she'd said the same way he always would, with a slight, pitiful, shake of his head. "Maybe he is by blood, but I am the one who raised you, who taught you how to fight, how to survive, how to be strong," his eyes went up and down her body, distaste growing in his gaze as he took in her shaking hands and watery eyes, "though I clearly didn't do a good enough job."

"You don't get credit for my victories, they are my own," she declared, pointing a finger at him and that hand didn't even shake a little bit.

His smile returned, growing larger, baring teeth. "What's this? Fire? Where was that when you were fighting Thanos?"

If Amelia's eyes narrowed anymore than she'd just be shutting them. His words were meaningless, she knew very well that all she'd had to give Thanos was fire. Fire and storm and rage, she had created it all and still… still, it had not been enough. She'd realised that towards the end, after Thor had failed, that they were just not good enough to fight against Thanos and win, that was the wind which blew out her flames.

It hurt recalling it all, so she decided to not dwell on the failure for too long, it would only give Pierce more ammunition. Instead, she focused on the future, even though she wasn't quite sure what her future would be. Apparently, she was dying, and she was nowhere, things weren't exactly looking great for her.

"Is Steve okay?" She questioned, turning to Gran. There were so many things she could ask about, but he was her priority, he was always her priority.

"He will be, you just go back now," Gran explained, twisting it around for her own purposes, her voice becoming more urgent as she continued, "go back, heal your wounds and when the time comes, fight one last time, for your friends, for your family, for the life you could have with Steve."

"He shouldn't be our priority," Amelia mumbled, remembering the time she lost her child because she'd been blinded by her devotion to Steve. She promised to never go back to being that way. It didn't mean putting herself first, it just meant no longer sacrificing every part of herself so he could be happy. Which meant, maybe it would be better for her to stay in nowhere.

"I know," she replied, amused, "but the heart wants what the heart wants, and I know for a fact that all you want, and all you will ever want, is your life with him."

Of course, Gran knew that, Gran was her from the future, a future where she never joined the Avengers in the useless fight against Thanos. She was the Amelia from a world without Steve in it.

Still though, there was one thing which confused Amelia, "you were telling me to sacrifice my life earlier."

Guilt passed over her expression but she reigned it in, reminding Amelia quite sadly of all the times AS09 had to do that in order to continue with a mission. "Yeah, I'm sorry about that, I had to in order to get you to fight the way you did. You became Amelia Stark again, the person this world needs. The person this world will need again, which is why I implore you to go back rather than waste away here."

"It didn't work," Amelia confessed, looking down at her fists which tightened, "I'm not powerful enough, I can't even-" her eyes looked up towards Gran, clear concern glittering in their dark depths, "I can't feel them as strongly as I used to."

Her powers. She was talking about her connection to the space stone. Ever since Thanos had snapped his fingers, she'd felt a lot weaker, but she hadn't been given the time to truly take it in until then. It was like the very force that kept her standing had faded, leaving her weak and lethargic. She was trying to fight against it but already she could feel her body desiring sleep more than it did wanting to go back to somewhere.

"I know, and I also know how terrifying it is," Gran explained, looking down at her own hands with a sadness Amelia was unable to identify yet, "it's because Thanos used so much of the space stones power, and because we're the space stone as much as the space stone is us, we felt it. And I'm so sorry, but it's about to get a lot worse for you."

"You don't need the stone's powers anyway, you should be strong enough without it, or was all the training I gave you meaningless?" Pierce intervened, stopping Amelia from being able to ask what Gran had meant with the last part of her words.

Once again Pierce's words had infuriated her. Really, anything the man said did, but she at least liked having a palpable reason for why she focused back onto him, moving away from the important conversation she was having with Gran to try and teach Pierce a lesson. "Shut up," she hissed, slithering her way closer until she was stood mere inches in front of him, displaying her lack of fear of him. He was asking where her fire was, she would show him. Even at her weakest, she was a forest fire that would consume him. "You did nothing but break me down, you made me weaker than I've ever been and weaker than I'll ever let myself become agai-"

The slap came unexpectedly, but it did not surprise Amelia. Even after all those years of being Amelia, there was still parts of AS09 that lived on in her. Her reaction to the slap was very AS09. Her eyes emptied of all emotion and she merely turned back to face him with an empty gaze that hid all the ways she was imagining committing cruelties to him.

"Who are you AS09?"

She hadn't heard the question in so long, but the answer she knew to give hung on her tongue automatically. Amelia Stark swallowed it down, choosing her own words that time. "I am not your weapon."

Another hit on the exact same spot, it burnt her sensitive skin but it did not make her flinch, the pain was too familiar to scare her. "Wrong, who are you AS09?" He repeated the question much like he always would, waiting for her to break and say what he wanted.

He wouldn't get his words that time.

"I am Amelia Stark!" Her tone was loud, assertive, dominant, fiery.

"Wrong," he proclaimed, giving another harsh gift to her cheek. "Who are you AS09?"

She opened her mouth, ready to say another defiant identification but before she could Gran stepped forward, her hands clutched together in a pleading manner. "Amelia wait, please, just answer him."

Amelia looked towards her older self with inflamed anger, wondering how she could even ask that of herself? The Amelia then, who she was, would never do such a thing, would never ask for her to relinquish her pride and become that broken, desperate, weapon again. "Are you serious?"

After her words were spoken Pierce's hand clashed with her cheek once more, the constant beating on that one exact spot beginning to pulsate with a pain she wasn't sure she couldn't handle any longer. But she would. That was who she'd become, someone who could handle physical pain as though it were just the repeated touch of a feather. But Gran, _herself_ , had asked her to do differently. So she swallowed down her pride, her fire, and said the words that were practically meaningless she'd said them so many times before.

"I am a weapon."

Amelia wasn't sure exactly what she expected to happen after she gave the answer Pierce always wanted, but it certainly wasn't another slap that caused her head to swing right. "Wrong," he announced.

"What?" Amelia questioned, holding her cheek as though that would stop it from bruising and aching for the next few days. How could that not be the answer? That was the answer Pierce always wanted.

"Who are you?" The question came from her right, passing Gran's own lips. It was somehow even crueller, because Gran was Amelia, Gran knew what such a question meant, yet still, she dared to ask it.

"Gran-" Amelia was about to beg, but those around her refused to let her, they wanted her to focus on the important question at hand.

"Who are you, Freckles?" Aaron asked.

"Who are you, Amelia?" Rebecca asked.

"Who are you, Artemis?" Strucker asked.

"Who are you, AS09?" Pierce asked.

"Who the are you, girl with chaos in her eyes, girl with fire in her blood, girl with ocean fury in her heart, who the fuck are you?" Gran questioned, stepping forward and cradling Amelia's chin her hand, the universe's encapsulated in their eyes meeting.

* * *

 **A/N: I'M BACK! AMELIA IS BACK! STEVIA IS BACK! And holy shit is there a lot to go through. I've just seen Avenger's Endgame and I promise not to give away spoilers, except for those in the story itself. This chapter might be okay to read but, spoiler-wise, the next chapter isn't, as well as all those following. It feels good to write for Amelia again, I've sorely missed her. I hope you guys are okay.**

 **Also, as much as it hurts me to say, I won't be able to update this chapter every day. I have a job now aha. I'll update it as much as I can and know that I will definitely be finishing this story, it means too much to me to just abandon it. You guys mean too much to me.**

 **To BuckyBarnes07, it was so great reading all of your reviews, they've motivated me even more to continue with this story so thank you so much. And also I love how you reviewed pretty much every chapter, I revisited the reviews often and seeing you always made me smile. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I hope you enjoy part six.**

 **To Pitspee, please message me all of your ideas because I'm struggling right now to plan everything, there's so much that I want to happen but aaarrggghhhhh. But yeah, please do. I've missed Mia too and I'm so excited to write her again.**

 **To Guest, your comments had me entertained, I'm glad you've enjoyed Amelia's story and I'm super happy you enjoyed part three which I'll forever be wary of. Also, I get the whole Amelia and T'Challa thing.**

 **To Cash1122, asdfghjkl; thank you sooooo much! I really needed this review at the time, more than you'll ever know, even now it makes me so happy to hear.**

 **To SnowPaws101, hope you're doing okay, I left an email address in my profile so you could get in contact with me. Either way, hope life is going well and all that.**

 **Thank you for all the reviews whilst I've not been here, thank you for just being here, and a big ol' Hulk-sized thank you to everyone that simply read the story whilst I was away. Every single one of you are amazing!**


	125. Chapter One-Hundred and Seventeen

**CHAPTER ONE-HUNDRED AND SEVENTEEN**

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"Faith goes up the stairs that love has built and looks out the windows which hope has opened."  
― Charles H. Spurgeon

* * *

"Please don't leave me Freckles," Steve begged, clutching her body tightly in his arms, as though if he held onto her body tightly enough then he'd be able to hold onto her life for her. It seemed like it might work that way. He couldn't really understand what was actually going on, he'd just watched his comrades, his friends, turn into dull bits of dust and from the way Amelia had collapsed, pale and breathless, it seemed that that was the way she was heading. But he couldn't lose her. Not Amelia. Not after everything that had just happened and everything they'd just been through. "Please," he sobbed pathetically as thunder roared in the distance, black mourning clouds cloaking the sky above.

He drew her body closer, far too aware of its limpness as he _promised_ to never let it go. He'd never leave her again. Never.

He was so immersed in keeping Amelia with him that he did not notice the form wrapped in luminescent white light floating down to their bodies, wide wings stretching out of her back. He didn't notice until she placed a hand down on his shoulder and drew the soldiers attention. Steve raised up his head, his dirties face revealing the watermarks left by his tears. What he found was unexpected, the woman who had been introduced to him as Gran. White like water draped her like a cloak, wrapping around her arms and dancing across her aged fingertips. She lowered herself down silently at Amelia's side, like a disciple preparing to prayer. "Step back," she ordered, spreading her hands over Amelia's chest and stomach.

It would take far more than a simple request then to make Steve release the ever-paling brunette from his arms. If anything, Gran's words only made him tighten his hold, pulling her away from Gran's touch. "What are you doing?" He questioned harshly, the weakness in his voice making him sound like a completely different person. Gran didn't want to waste any time so she reached out again, only to be faced with Steve grabbing her wrist in a bruising hold. "Don't touch her." It was an order usual people might normally find too frightening to disobey. Gran wasn't normal though.

Though she sighed with frustration, a soft smile was on her face, as though she was able to find something delightful in that situation, as though she was incapable of looking at the soldier with any other kind of expression. "I told you to step back," she repeated the order she'd initially given, showing the exact same irritating tenacity he was well-known for. She also brought up her hand to rest on his chest, above his heart. From behind the pair, some of the remaining Avengers took a step forward, believing that she was moving in for some sort of attack.

But other than touching his chest, she did nothing else and Steve's lack of a reaction to the touch made them pause. Natasha, who'd been the closest to him, was the first to notice his dazzled gaze as he stared down at her hand that was exuding a very familiar white light that pranced and danced across her fingers exuberantly. It was just like Amelia's. It was confusing. Everything was confusing.

Thunder roared behind them as though the gods were crying out above about what had just happened, crying out like the people in the Wakandan field who couldn't make sense of the loss they were experiencing, crying out like Steve had been. So much crying.

"I'm here to help," Gran continued on, words full of promise. Maybe it was her words which swayed Steve, maybe it was the white light, or maybe it was the fact that he needed to feel hope again for something. Either way, he slowly began to release Amelia, eventually releasing his hold on her completely, allowing the familiar stranger to place her hands over Amelia's chest and stomach, getting to work.

From her fingertips flooded white, bright white, blinding white, healing white. From her fingertips erupted what mortal men believed only angels could conjure. Steve was one of those men, which is why he wasn't surprised by what mortal men believed only angels could conjure. Steve was one of those men, which is why he wasn't surprised by what sprung from _her_ fingertips. It cloaked Amelia's entire body, cocooning her and seeping into her skin.

Everyone watched in silence, their eyes flickering to Steve every now and again to make sure that what was happening was okay. He was their captain, if he said to attack then they would happily do so. They needed a win. Their one win arrived then, passing almost unnoticed except for with Steve as he'd been looking for it, the slight rise and fall of Amelia's chest.

Gran removed her hands and watched as one last current of energy passed over Amelia's body before being absorbed into her body, into her soul. It was everything Gran was able to give, and the very last thing that she would ever be able to give. She turned her head to glance at Steve, sending him her best supportive smile, it faltered slightly though as she remembered what was to come. That was why she stepped away from Amelia, allowing him to get back to her and at least have one happy moment. "There, you can touch her again."

Steve already was. He pulled her back into his arms and brushed aside the hair on her face, inspecting her. She just looked like she was sleeping. "What did you do?"

"She exerted herself during the battle which meant when Thanos used so much of the space stones power, which she is connected to intrinsically, it wore her out far too much. I barely made it out alive myself, but this wasn't even the worst part. What I did, Steve, was give her all of my powers, everything I have, and hopefully it will be enough to get her through this and what's about to come next," Gran explained wistfully, the smile she held for Steve disappearing as she looked towards Amelia sadly, "that's why I'm here you see, to save her, to be a hero."

"Who are you?" He asked suspiciously, knowing the answer but not knowing if the answer could possibly be true.

"I just told you, Steve." It didn't matter who she was anymore, she'd had so many by that point, what mattered then was her purpose, that was who she was. Gran rose up, standing over the two of them, feeling so empty yet so fulfilled. "She won't wake up for a while, my powers are mending her body but it will take time, for me, I was recovering for twenty days." She looked over towards Wakanda, her heart aching over what was lost, as well as what was there, what she couldn't have. "You should, um, you should take her to the house, I-I always wanted to see it but I'd never had the courage," she admitted, her nails digging in her palms, "and maybe give her a day, just one, I think the both of you could use it."

Steve didn't look at her as she spoke, he was too busy looking at Amelia, finding a small spark of joy as he imagined having his favourite brunette inside the house that he'd built. But the spark was blown out quickly he couldn't just disappear to the house with Amelia. His team needed him, the _world_ needed him. Gran should have known that. "We can't."

"I'm sure you'll find that you can, you'll spend the next couple of days searching and a lot of time waiting, use that time and give her a day," Gran pushed, not sure whether she was doing so because she knew the struggles that came next and wanted the pair to give themselves one happy moment, or if it was because of how much she regretted not doing so herself ."She'll probably refuse at first, but just reiterate that I told you to, and also tell her not to worry about her brother."

"Tony? What about him?" Rhodey interrupted, having been simply observing the familiar stranger before, but he couldn't just contain his overwhelming concern.

Gran eyed Rhodey and then she allowed her eyes to gloss over the remaining members of the Avengers, her eyes glazing over because to her, they were all ghosts. "He's wounded, he's not okay, but he'll be fine, help is on the way."

"You seem pretty confident about that, almost like you know it for a fact," Natasha hummed suspiciously, "and you talk like you know Amelia _really_ well."

"I hope I do, I am her after all," Gran confessed easily, knowing better than to try and lie to Natasha.

"That makes no sense," Bruce commented from inside the hulkbuster armour.

Gran shrugged her shoulders. "Thanos just clicked away half of all life in the universe, nothing makes sense anymore."

Rhodey approached, and Gran could easily tell what he was going to say next because of his hopeful and desperate expression. "If you're Amelia, then you must be from the future, that means you know things right? You know how to reverse this?"

She smiled at him, but that was the only movement her lips made. She couldn't mess with the flow of time and fate anymore. She'd made the changes that had to be made, getting Amelia and Steve back together, getting her to fight, and giving her the power to deal with what was going to happen next. She'd completed her mission.

"Hey," Rhodey called out when she abruptly turned around and began to walk away.

"Steve," Nat called out to the soldier, knowing he possessed the most influence over the retreating brunette. They had a lead right there in front of them, he couldn't really just let her walk away.

"Yet, it seemed that was exactly what he was planning to do as he continued to just stare down at Amelia, his Amelia, who was there and alive. "Where will you go?" He asked her, showing the rest of the team that they wouldn't stop her. As far as he was concerned, because she was Amelia Stark, she was meant to be trusted just as they would trust the Amelia Stark he had in his arms.

She stopped walking in front of Steve so that she could see him clearly. Just him. "What do you mean? I've been with you." At the end of her sentence, Steve looked up and she was ever so grateful that he did. She'd needed to see his blue eyes then more than she cared to admit. They made her feel calmer, less afraid.

It was time, she could feel the emptiness move past the surface of her soul, filling her bones, her veins, her heart. Filling her with nothing. Gran, Amelia Stark, stared into Steve Rogers beautiful blue eyes and then she closed her own, letting the last thing she saw be the one thing she'd worried about never seeing again after losing her beloved in her own time.

Nothing filled her, and nothing she became as her body fell apart into nothing stardust that twinkled in the light of the sun whilst floating away into the sky.

Amelia Stark's mission was done.

Everyone watched in silence, their hearts twisted messes in their chests, their eyes wet, but their souls so worn out that they couldn't even cry.

"What now, Cap?" Bruce was the first to ask.

Steve had returned to watching Amelia sleep, hoping that her eyes would open soon. He had no answer to give his team.

* * *

 **A/N: Hi guys, sorry for such a short chapter but you need to know what happened at the end of Infinity War so we can get into the Endgame plot. Gran's gone, which explains why she was in Amelia's dream. The team is shattered but as you see from Endgame, they get their fight back and Amelia will be joining them for the ride.**

 **To Tina, I've been re-reading the story as well aha, I'm on chapter fourty right now.**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, whooooooo! I'm so excited to be back aha.**

 **To xLaBellaVita, I missed you too and I missed this story a heck of a lot, I couldn't wait to get back to it! Glad to see you're still here :)**

 **To Guest, I haven't properly planned the story yet but I can assure you that I'm hyped af too, I've got some BIG things planned.**

 **To BuckyBarnes07, sorry if there's a little wait between chapters, I can't write as much as I used to aha.**

 **To LoveFiction2019, thanks, it's nice to see you too!**

 **To SnowPaws101Reverie, I don't think I'll ever recover from Endgame. And with regards to Steve's ending, my brother had some wisdom to give, he said that Steve Roger's is happy with his ending and that's all we, as fans, could have asked for. Aha, I'm currently on the Aaron and Rebecca Era myself, it's very dramatic but idk I still like it which is rare cause normally after a while I hate my won stories. Hope you enjoy the story!**

 **To Pitspee, I've missed her tooooooo, it feel so good writing her again. And asdfghl thank you, I'm getting more thoughts on the matter like I know how I want to finish off Amelia's character arc now and I think I have an idea on what I want to do with the ending. I don't know. I'm always scared of doing drastic changes which is why I didn't bring Pietro back in AOU but now I might just say fuck it and do what I want, you know? And oh my god Carol and Mia are gonna become hella best friends okay I need them to be best friends, they literally share the same power origin how can they not be friends?**

 **To kuppcake, ahah thank you, glad to see your back!**

 **To Assbitch67, I'M SO EXCITED! Mate everytime I think about Endgame I start sobbing, I can't help myself aha. But yus, I'm happy to be back with you and Amelia. Hopefully I can do a good job with this last part and give the story and the characters an ending they deserve :)**

 **To LovelyThorn, I'm curious too aha... I'm planning it all tonight whilst I have the free time and I'm excited to see what I come up with aha.**

 **To Cash1122, I'M BACK! AMELIA'S BACK! STEVIA IS BACK! YOU'RE BACK! WE'RE ALL HERE FOR THE END GAME AND NONE OF US ARE READY!**

 **And a big ol' thank you to everyone that simply read the chapter, I'm like 1,000 away from 200,000 reads on this story which is terrifying and amazing and a great motivator for me to get this story done and give it the ending it deserves and the ending you guys want. I'm planning this part tonight so if there's anything you guys want to see, please do let me know and I'll try my best to put it in!**


	126. Chapter One-Hundred and Eighteen

**CHAPTER ONE-HUNDRED AND EIGHTEEN**

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"Falling for him wasn't falling at all. It was walking into a house and suddenly knowing you're home."

― **R.I.D**

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The sun was warm and overpowering. It was also the first thing Amelia noticed when she woke up, she tried her best to turn away from it but only an arm over her eyes was able to stop the rays of light from reaching her. She immediately regretted the movement as her body ached from the single action. Her bones clicked and her muscles cramped, making it known to her that she hadn't moved them in far too long. Her mouth was dry and her stomach growled at her the moment she was conscious. There were a lot of aches and pains going on with her body, but none of that compared to the pain of loss coming from her soul, the place she'd always believed her powers came from. She couldn't feel it as strongly as she once did, her powers, the sentience, it felt like they were just out of reach, and it left her feeling incredibly weak.

Amelia groaned, because that was really all she could do. The feeling of such warm sun rays licking against her available skin told her that she wasn't dreaming anymore and that made things even worse. Her dreams, as much as a nightmare as they might have been, was better than the reality waiting for her. The first thing she remembered was her failure and it would take Amelia a lot more time to be brave enough to face the repercussions.

It took Amelia another ten minutes alone before she was able to open up her eyes. Amelia wasn't sure what she expected to see, but it definitely wasn't a pastel blue roof which a small chandelier was fixed to. She was in a room. A bedroom, she discovered further, spotting two open doors that revealed an ensuite bathroom and a wardrobe. The third door straight ahead of her was closed, but it did not concern her. She felt an odd sense of serenity, of calm.

She had no idea where she was, but she wasn't on that field surrounded by the dull dust that once made up her family. Amelia was at least happy about that.

The brunette was very tempted to just stay in that plush bed, but her limbs were wary and needed stretching, so as slowly as she could, she rose up, her body repeatedly clicking as though she were putting herself back together. Her feet were bare and the carpet was soft. It was a light cream, making the room seem even brighter despite the sun that leaked through a wall of windows behind her doing a well enough job on its own. It was so bright and her eyes were so unused to the sun that she couldn't actually see anything but the light outside. It was almost like she was in heaven.

That theory became even more promising as she looked outside the bedroom, stepping out of it completely and entering the hallway. There were five doors in total, most of which were all closed except for one. She peeked inside, finding what looked to be like another bedroom made up of neutral colours. In the one corner of the room that she was able to see, there looked to be some sort of crib. Amelia raised up one eyebrow but decided it would be better for her to carry on exploring, that room would only make her think of bad memories and it would ruin the serenity she found herself in.

The hallway was a pale red, opposing the colour of the bedroom, as though the person who'd been painting the house couldn't make a solid decision on what colour he wanted. She kind of liked that though. It was like every room was a different adventure. Not that she'd bothered to explore that many as she was more concerned about the main routes, once she was sure they were safe, then she'd do more exploring. At the end of the hallway, there didn't look to be much, just a bannister that lowered itself down beneath the floor. When she reached that point, she found the wall opposite the staircase entrance was another large window leaking in light that hurt her eyes, there were two chairs and a small coffee table beside it.

Amelia proceeded to walk down the staircase and she noticed that on the wall there was a discrepancy, a small circular portion which looked to have been broken and refilled. She wondered the story behind it, letting her fingers drag across the walls as she journeyed further downward. There was more furniture downstairs, but it all lacked the character one would find in a properly owned home. It was just furniture with none of the little bits and trinkets. Or so she thought. The staircase led to a wide front room with a fireplace that had a pile of firewood at its side stacked into the wall, a couple of other bits of stereotypical furniture. One wall of windows and one made entirely of bookshelves that were completely empty except for one row of books. No, not books, but books made a lot more sense than what Amelia believed they could have been. It wasn't until she walked over to the bookshelves and picked the first one up that she allowed herself to believe in them. Scrapbooks, about ten of them, filling one of the shelves and each binder was inscribed with the same words, only the numbers changing. The first one read: 'Our Home, Year 1' and the second one: 'Our Home, Year 2'.

Things were getting more curious for Amelia so she placed the book back in its rightful place and delved even further. Outside of the living room was another hallway, two large doors with stained glass filling the entrance way with beautiful colours which the cream coloured walls worked well with.

Then she spotted it, the one room she was incapable of ignoring. The kitchen. It was huge and her favourite colour of blue, not too dark, not too strong, but also not too light or pale. It made her feel calmer, it made her happy. Hundreds of cabinets riddled the walls and there was a large dining table on the other side of the room. It looked to have everything she could need, an oven, a microwave, a stove, all the other extra bits restaurant kitchens had, including a mixer which she could definitely make lots of use with for her baking. Her fingertips slipped across the marble sides, wanting to make sure that the extensive kitchen was truly real.

It was all too good until she opened up all the cupboards, finding in some of them plates, bowls, plates, eventually noticing a distinct lack of _something_. "I'm not really in heaven then, my heaven would include a kitchen brimming with food," Amelia mumbled to herself, unafraid to do so as she was 80% sure she was the only one there.

That assured mind frame faltered down to 10% when the sound of the front door clicking open echoed through the empty house, reaching where she stood in the kitchen. She remained there for another second, waiting to see what would happen. What followed was a familiar voice. "Amelia? Are you awake?" The voice questioned, as though he'd been expecting her to be by that point.

"Steve…" Her response was much more quiet. She didn't want to just assume that it was him, too much had happened since she was last awake and she didn't want to build up so much hope just to be disappointed, however, her feet still moved quickly, her eyes desperate to see his face once again. And oh god, he was there. He was actually there. He'd survived too. Or, maybe not survived, the place they were in was too perfect, it didn't make sense considering the imperfect moments that had occurred last time she was awake. What made things even better was that Steve, her lover, her hero, was stood with a carrier bag full of the food the kitchen cupboards had been missing. She glanced at them momentarily before leaning one arm against the door frame, much more relaxed in his presence but still need something to hold her body up. "Okay, maybe I am in heaven."

He didn't register her words at first, instead, he just stared at her, taking every inch of her in. It had been so long since he'd last seen her eyes, so dark and intoxicating. Her skin had colour to it again as well, she wasn't just some sleeping beauty on a bed that made him constantly question if she was dead. She was stood up, walking, talking. Talking, she'd said something, he thought over the words she'd said and then his eyebrows were pulled together when he realised they didn't quite make sense. "What?"

"Nothing, nevermind." She couldn't even remember what she'd said, her own heart and mind becoming similar to Steve's in the way it became drowned by his image, only able to focus on him.

Her feet started moving again, making her get closer to him. Steve noticed this and found his body stepping forward too. She was alive. He'd had his doubts over the past few days, sure Gran had told him it would be a long wait but it didn't help prevent his concerns. Even as he'd asked that question when he entered the house, he'd expected more silence than an actual response. She'd surprised him, and Steve was so happy to be the victim of another one of Amelia's surprises.

They met in the middle, and for a short second, the both of them wondered if they should have been saying something. Amelia knew that she needed to ask about what happened after her plan to sacrifice herself to Thanos went wrong, she remembered Thor, she remembered feeling that one last burst of hope, and then she remembered feeling like her heart was imploding inside of her chest after Thanos snapped his fingers. That should have been her priority. But her heart wanted what it wanted, and all it cared about in that moment was feeling every part of Steve that she could get.

The soldier did not fight her as she rose up on her tippy toes, her calloused hands reaching up and cupping his jawline while her dark eyes flicked from his ocean blues to his lips, silently asking for permission. She didn't need to. She never needed to ask him for permission for a kiss, he was hers. He took control for a moment, pushing himself forwards and tackling her lips the same way two people in an airport would rush to one another after being away for far too long.

The kiss was exactly how it should have been. After years of knowing each other, of kissing each other, they both knew what the other preferred. They knew how hard to go. How soft to be. The desperation being revealed was somewhat new but it definitely wasn't unexpected, being shared like oxygen as their lips moved against each other.

When it was over they both came away from the kiss breathless and needy. As soon as their lips were apart, their bodies came together, Amelia's hands tangling around his neck whilst he held her waist against his body and burrowed his head into her neck, his glorious beard that she loved so much scratching against her skin. In sync, they began to cry, not too loudly, but their bodies wracked enough that they both knew what was happening. But for some reason, though they were crying over so many sad things, it didn't feel so hard whilst they were stood together. It almost felt like they were holding up the problems together, making the effects much less traumatic on their souls.

They were also crying over happy things as well, the one good thing that they could find in the mess around them. It was that they were there together, somehow they'd both survived, and maybe it wasn't right that they were the ones to live, it meant a great deal to each of them that they had the other. It was why they held onto each other for so long, why they cried together for so long, and it was why, when they did part, they smiled towards one another and gently stroked away each other's tears. They were there, that was their one good thing, that was what would keep them going.

"So," she sniffled openly whilst wiping away the last tear to escape Steve's eyes, "what have I missed? What's the plan?" The plan to fix everything, to get her brother back with them, to set the world back to the way it was before and the plan to take down the man that had messed up the world. She knew that Steve would have one, it wasn't like he'd give up even if the whole world was telling him to.

Steve looked down at her for a few seconds in silence, taking in the fire in her eyes and recognising the gunpowder waiting at her fingertips as they clenched down into his shirt. She was thirsty for Thanos, just like he and Gran knew she would be. It had him doubting how well his 'plan' for their day would go, but he just had to remind himself that it was technically Ameli who had asked him for it. The soldier lifted up the plastic bag filled with goodies and he directed her attention to it. "The plan for today is pancakes," he said simply, hoping that maybe if he did so she wouldn't argue against him.

He knew if someone tried to make him just have a day of relaxation that he'd probably knock them out and do things his own way, Steve was hoping his lover might choose to go down a different route than he would.

"Excuse me?" Her tone rose up with confusion, her eyes narrowing on Steve. He looked sincere, and he also looked a little bit like he was pleading her to just go along with it and accept his request. How could he ever expect her to do that, to just give up on everyone, to give up on her brother, all for pancakes? Amelia was aware that when she was younger her sweet tooth was a little bit crazy but that because she was discovering the wonders of sugar back than, she liked to think she gained better control through the years. Amelia took a step back, not wary of Steve, just wary of the conversation they were having. "What about Thanos? And Tony, we need to find him immediately. Have you lost your mind, I mean, I know what happened was difficult but there must be-"

He kissed her again, he couldn't resist it, the way she became so passionate about getting their friends back filled his heart with admiration. "Shut up," he mumbled against her lips, saying the words as nicely as he could, using the momentary silence he'd managed to achieve to add explanation onto his request for pancakes, "I promise you we're working on it, and I'll explain it all to you later, but for now there isn't anything we can do other than wait for results, so please, just come help me make some delicious pancakes and have a day with me that isn't about war, or saving the world, it's just about you and me."

Amelia was silent not because he'd stunned her into it, but because she was thinking over his words. He just wanted a day, and he'd promised to tell her everything later, he'd also been kind enough to share that they were doing something but all the two of them were able to do was wait. She trusted him enough to believe that. The brunette was almost ready to give into him but there was one person holding her back, the one person she couldn't give up on, not again. "But Tony-"

"I know," he sighed, hand running through her hair as pain passed over his expression. Tony had once been like a brother to him in some ways, he was just as worried as Amelia was, "we're looking for him, I promise."

Promise, he'd said that twice now, and Amelia believed him, she trusted him again. That's what Gran had intended after all, she'd wanted Amelia back with Steve for a reason, and the brunette could easily guess why, because she wasn't Amelia unless she was with Steve, she wasn't happy or hopeful or _alive_ , without Steve Rogers by her side.

She rose up once again to press a gentle kiss to the corner of his lips, "okay." She'd agreed to the day, but it didn't mean her heart didn't hurt, it didn't mean she wasn't feeling guilty over waking up and not immediately doing something to change things.

The guilt lessened just a little bit when she saw how happy Steve became after she agreed, his concerned look and puppy eyes blossoming into a dazzling expression fitted with a beautiful toothy smile. "Okay," he repeated, beginning to walk into the kitchen she'd just come from.

Amelia followed, watching as he went through some of the cupboards to get all the utensils they'd need when making the pancakes. It was clear that he was at least familiar with the house they were inside. She leant against the counter that was spread in the middle of the room, separating the dining side of the room to the food preparation side. There was so much calming blue around them, exactly like Steve's eyes, which she hadn't realised was suspicious until he was stood in front of her. "So, where are we?"

His hands that were placing a bowl down onto the counter paused and his eyes flickered towards her for a second before falling onto the bowl in his hand, revealing an unexpected shyness from him. "This is the house," Steve revealed, once again using the technique of 'if I say it simply, then it won't be a big deal'.

"This is the house?" The brunette repeated slowly, processing them in her mind at the same time. It took her longer than it should have, but in her defence she had just spent a great deal of time asleep and even before that, she'd gone through a lot since the conversation she'd had with Steve where he explained that he'd built her a house during their time apart. Once she finally did recall the conversation that they had, nothing could have stopped the excited feeling which buzzed through her, widening her eyes and mouth as she jumped her way over to Steve, grabbing his arm and giving it a little shake. "Oh, this is the house!"

"Yeah," Steve reaffirmed, opening up more after seeing Amelia's initial reaction which wasn't just complete hatred which was the exact thing he'd been wary of, "it's not completely finished, but it has walls and furniture, and the kitchen works well enough unless you want hot water."

"This is the house," Amelia repeated in a daze, acting as though she hadn't even heard what he said, in some ways she hadn't, she was still just trying to make sense of everything around her, all the hard work and dedication that had taken the form of a roof over her head, a place for her to belong, _a home_.

"Yeah," he said again, observing her as she looked around like a child who'd just entered Santa's workshop, like she was in a place that could only ever offer happiness and joy. He hoped it would be.

"This is the house you built me," she relayed, eyes falling on his as tears peaked at the corners. She was overwhelmed with such happy emotions and she wasn't quite sure how to deal with them, other than to kiss Steve. That's exactly what she did, she approached him, grabbed his face, kissed him some more and then she walked around the house one more time, yelling out words as she went. "I love it, Steve. The house is big enough for kids and a dog and us," she made it back into the kitchen, "and this room, arguably the most important room the colour you chose, it's blue, the same colour as your eyes." Her words were messy and chopped but she was just so happy.

Gran had been right, Steve realised. The two of them did need that day, to be in that house together, to have another day of great memories and happy times after all the aches and pains.

"You said the colour made you happy once," he shrugged his shoulders up, not knowing why he was so shy, maybe it was embarrassment. It didn't feed his humble nature, painting an entire room the same colour of his eyes cause he thought Amelia would really like it.

She didn't seem to have any arguments though as she approached him once again and took him into her arms, pressing herself against his solid chest, resting her chin there so she could look up at him. "Happy, content, love, it makes me feel a lot of things."

He wrapped his arms around her too, incapable of seeing her so happy and not mirroring it as well. He pecked the corner of her smile, completely in love with it and completely in love with her. "After spending days trying to find exactly the right blue - feeling extremely conceited whilst I did so - and then painting the walls with it, I've come to hate the colour," he explained. The room they were in was the one he'd dedicated himself the most to, knowing how much it would mean to Amelia, and it was also the room that had been the most irritating for him.

"Would pancakes make you like the kitchen more?" She suggested, one eyebrow perking up.

"Pancakes, and you," he flirted, and he had no idea that simply doing the act of flirting could feel so good.

She was the one to pull away first, allowing Steve to continue getting out all the necessary utensils seen as he knew where everything was. "I'll measure out the ingredients and put them in the bowl, can you stir?" Amelia took out all of the ingredients he'd bought, happy to see that he hadn't forgotten anything of importance. Her request wasn't thoughtless, she needed Steve to do the mixing because she just didn't have the strength to do much else. It was hard for her to even pick up the flour he'd purchased.

"Deal," he agreed, distracting her from the concerned thoughts roaming her mind as they shared one more smile before getting to work.

They did as was agreed, Steve got out a scale and she used that to measure everything properly, putting the things in the bowl when necessary, first doing the wet ingredients and then slowly adding the dry as Steve stirred, never seeming to tire of doing so. She was envious, even when she'd had most of her strength she'd still need to take breaks when stirring together ingredients as her wrist would start to cramp. Her eyes were watching his hands stir, but at some point, they seemed to move up to his arms, specifically his biceps that were revealed by the short-sleeved t-shirt he was wearing. All he was doing was stirring, why were his biceps bulging so much? Why did the beard make this image ten times sexier to her? It was unfair, in Amelia's opinion.

"You know, you could just take a picture," Steve exclaimed, amused by her very obvious staring.

"Please," she huffed, not embarrassed to have been caught because he was her lover, she had every right to stare at his arms. "Are we going to pretend like you haven't been staring at my legs for the past ten minutes?" Dressed in a button-down shirt, her legs had been out in the open ever since she woke up, and seen as it looked like Steve was the only one who was going to show up, she hadn't felt any need to cover them.

"Who's pretending?" A boyish grin spread over his face.

"Real smooth," she charmed back, rolling her eyes, hands automatically grabbing a tuft of flour and throwing it across him without being completely aware of their actions.

A chuckle escaped, but it wasn't one made up completely of joy, there was something dark about it. It became even more evident that he wasn't entirely amused once he spoke, "oh, you want to start this?" Amelia didn't know what she was starting until he picked up an egg. Her eyes widened as she started to retreat, moving to the other side of the counter.

"Steve!" She yelped out, trying to warn him but her words seemed to only instigate him more as seconds later an egg was thrown and Steve was laughing boisterously with immature glee. Amelia only stared him down darkly, pointing over to the leaking egg she'd only just managed to miss. "You just made a mess in my new kitchen," she explained the obvious, voice steaming with fire Steve should have known to fear.

Time away had done him no favours though and he'd forgotten the dangers that voice meant would come. Instead of apologising and offering to clean it, he simply grabbed another egg and took aim. "I built it, I'm allowed," he argued, suggesting that he was in the right.

Quickly, with speed Amelia couldn't really afford during her tired state, she launched her body over to grab the bag of flour, narrowly missing another egg thrown in her direction whilst spilling some of the flour on the table. Still, she'd made it away with the flour and moved to stand on the opposite side of Steve, a handful of flour at the ready to be launched at her lover. "Lower your weapon soldier," she ordered, her seriousness outweighed by how cute she looked, messy haired and dressed in just his shirt.

"You threw the first stone, you can lower your weapon first," he responded, raising the hand he held the egg in even higher.

"Are you sure you really want to have this fight with me?" It was a decent question, one Steve had to think about. They were both the type to go through with the battle and to persevere until a winner was announced, and as amusing as the idea was of a thoughtless food fight with his lover, there was one thing he had to keep in mind.

"No," the soldier concluded, "I haven't sorted out hot water for the bathrooms either."

"Good," she responded, relieved that he'd been the one to back down because that meant she was the winner and she hadn't even needed to exert all of her energy to get there.

After that they continued with making the pancakes, deciding the mess they'd made could wait until after they'd eaten and gotten some more energy. They tested out the first pancake together, each taking chunks out of it. Amelia decided the pancakes needed a little bit more sugar which Steve took over doing, not trusting her with sugar after the first batch of pancakes she'd made which were more sugar than any other ingredient. Once they made the second pancake and found that it was perfect, Steve made a rather cheesy comment on how they were the second sweetest thing he'd ever tasted, when she asked what was the first, he proceeded to kiss her, revealing the answer through his actions rather than words.

She pushed him away for being so cheesy but he swiftly returned, standing beside her and resting his head on her shoulder as she continued to cook a large stack of golden pancakes. When it came time to eat, he set out the table for them, going as far to pull out Amelia's chair before she sat down. Not even Thanos' devastation could stop him from maintaining his gentleman values.

"Oh my god, these are amazing," he declared after finishing his first one, "much better than the first pancakes you ever made."

Amelia sighed at the mention of the mistake she'd made when first trying to make her own pancakes. "Again, how was I supposed to know that too much sugar could be a bad thing?"

"By using your brain," he replied cheekily, the soldier earning another glare from his lover.

"I'll get the flour out again," she warned, pointing over to the counter that had become quite a mess after their almost food fight.

"Okay, I'm sorry," he relinquished, raising up both hands. Neither of them were actually annoyed, in fact, for the first time in a long time, they both felt completely relaxed and actually happy. It was weird, but nice. It was nice how normal things were. The only concern either of them felt at that point was that they didn't know if they'd be able to bring themselves to return to their life of battles after experiencing that day together.

"Hey Steve," Amelia pondered on a different matter, if she didn't then she'd just end up ruining the great day they were supposed to be having. He looked to her questioningly and she nodded down to her arm, her clean, unwounded arms. "If we don't have a shower how come I'm so clean?"

"I washed you," he confessed, and the blush that was on his cheeks was beautiful to her.

She could have easily spent the rest of the day making his cheeks go that beautiful shade of red, but there was one other question that needed attending to after being given Steve's answer. "How long was I out?" If he'd had to wash her whilst she was asleep, it clearly hadn't just been one night like she'd been assuming.

Steve reached out and took her hand, offering comfort before he'd even said the hurtful truth. "Twenty-one days." He waited for it, for the pain, for the anxiety, for her to jump back to demanding they do something because she'd been asleep for almost an entire month, she'd been unhelpful for that huge chunk of time.

"Wow," she breathed out, showing slight shock but other than that, when she looked into his eyes, she only seemed to be displaying concern for him, "were you here the entire time?"

"Of course, I've been keeping in touch with the team though," he explained, hoping the additional information would help keep from feeling bad though she seemed to be doing well at not showing that she was. "Gran was the one who healed you by the way, she floated down onto the field like an… like an angel, and then she healed you, said something about giving her powers to you."

Amelia nodded, taking in all the information she could whilst taking another mouthful of her pancakes, trying not to let her emotions take control, trying to give her and Steve their one day. "Where is she now?"

"She passed away, Amelia, I'm sorry."

"Whoa," her fork fell down, the newest bit of information possibly being too much. She spluttered slightly, choking on the emotions tightening her throat. Gran was dead, the person that got her through life after losing her baby, the person that kept her human and pushed her back into the world, back into Steve's arms. "I, uh, it's not every day you hear your future self has just died," she explained, begin to recall the dream she'd had whilst unconscious where Gran had appeared, along with all the other people who had died because of her. She supposed she should have known of Gran's passing sooner. The hand holding hers tightened, Steve's own way of reminding that he was there for her. She smiled gently at the gesture, squeezing back as she focused on him again. "I'm sorry to you too, Steve, we lost a lot of good people and you've been dealing with that alone."

"We'll get them back," he assured, saying exactly what she knew he would, and that made her happier than she could explain. Then Steve brought her hand to his lips, kissing her. It seemed like they'd been touching each other quite a lot, like back when they'd first started dating after facing Ultron, they couldn't get enough of each other. They felt the same then as well. "Besides, you're okay, at least that's one good thing."

Amelia couldn't just settle for a kiss on her hand, she needed much more contact, the brunette moved over and sat herself down on his lap, pulling the arm around her waist whilst using her other hand to bring her plate closer as well. "How is everyone else doing?"

"They're searching for Thanos and worrying about you, I'll have to tell them you're awake," he answered, giving little information away on what they'd been doing for the past twenty-one days because he was still determined to have their day. He had the perfect plan to take them back to just being a couple in a lovely house. "But first, I have a favour to ask."

"Oh?" She turned to him inquisitively, her mind going in a certain direction considering the tone he'd used had been quite enticing. He reached over, grabbing the carrier bag from the counter and pulling from it an item Amelia had somehow missed when emptying it earlier. "Oh." Her subconscious must have done it purposely, because the scissors and razor he displayed in his hands was the last thing she wanted to see

Her tone of voice when she'd said the second 'oh' had made her disappointment very clear but still he chose to prod it, chose to try and investigate further, "what?"

Amelia's hand rose up, beginning to stroke through the beard that she'd fallen head over heels for faster than she had the man dawning it. "Nothing, it's just- I happen to be quite a huge fan of bearded Steve." Maybe it was because bearded Steve was such a rarity, and something that had been kept from her for the first few years of their relationship, but she really couldn't get enough of the sight of it, let alone the way it felt. Him with the beard hit her right in the heart, in the most pleasurable way she'd ever felt.

"The world ends Captain America right now, he doesn't have a beard," he explained, making it clear to her that this was something he _had_ to do. He needed to remind himself of who he was, of the hero he used to be before the team fell apart. He needed to become someone who could face Thanos with a lion heart, he needed to be Captain America again, not the vigilante that fought the bad guys from the shadows, hiding from a government that had declared him the enemy. She could understand that, she could allow that, but it didn't mean she'd miss his beard.

Amelia Stark, being the grown, mature, woman that she was, pouted like a child losing their favourite toy. "What about Steve Rogers?"

Steve smiled, refusing the urge to roll his eyes because it was actually quite nice seeing her so obsessed with one of his features, and at least she seemed accepting of the fact that he had to get rid of it. He had to accept that she seemed to like him a lot more physically with the beard. "When he's done being Captain America, Steve Rogers could be the kind of guy who has a beard."

"Promise?"

That was when he laughed, when she made it into such a big thing that he needed to _promise_. They'd agreed to make promises more serious, things they only made when they knew they could keep them. "The beard really means that much to you?"

"It means everything to me," she responded, extremely serious.

Steve shook his head, still laughing. He kissed her lips, glad that she responded, but also noticing the way her hands went to cup his bearded jaw, holding his beard like it was the last time she ever would. It seemed he had no other choice. "I promise."

* * *

 **A/N: Apologies for any spelling mistakes, I end up rushing with getting the chapter out because I'm not like five chapters ahead. I'm trying this weekend,hopefully I'll get another one written today.**

 **I'm super happy with how this ended up, and we've got more fun times to come because y'know, I want to just remind everyone what Stevia is and what it represents and how perfect these two are together. I also wanted to give Steve's beard the goodbye it deserves, you know?**

 **To CrumblingUniverses, ahhhh! Hello again friend. I'm both nervous and excited to see how everything takes where I'll be taking this.**

 **To 17Daybreak, not sure when you'll see this seen as you're only on chapter two but thank you so much, I hope you still like her when you get to this point!**

 **To LoveFiction2019, thank you very much :)**

 **To BuckyBarnes07, not much movie plot but I'm giving Steve and Amelia some time to get their barings, you know?**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, thank you for the advice, it helped when it came to me planning the ending. No multiple versions, just a version i'm super nervous about publishing but one I think is very fitting of my OC and also something that doesn't insult the other characters. If that makes sense. Maybe it will more when I get to the end.**

 **To SnowPaws101Reverie, sorry to hear about what happened at school, that does sound rather backwards. At least you know that you're the correct winner because if you take away that stupid backwards last round, you were ahead. And yes, she does still call Sam Seagull, the opportunity hadn't arose often because most of their scenes together were very serious, though I'm realising now I could have put it in somewhere during part four. That's my mistake. We'll get Seagull again eventually.**

 **To Guest, I ain't giving away any spoilers, all I'll say is that I'll take this into consideration.**

 **To shugokage, I was ready for Endgame with this story, no matter what way it went I had three plots of my own that would work along with it. One of which was Gran surviving and Amelia dying. The ending of Endgame through me a little, I was totally convinced Cap would die so this does through up a little bit of a problem but I know how to 'fix' that. You'll see aha.**

 **To Tina, thank you for the reviews, I hope you're still enjoying the story!**

 **To Assbitch67, awwww bless ya. AND YES, THE HOUSE! IT'S BEAUTIFUL! STEVE IS BEAUTIFUL! STEVIA IS BEAUTIFUL! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!**

 **To Pitspee, still undecided on the ending, I might just make it so everyone dies. Maybe. And with regards to her healing powers (this is more for other people to know, you already kind of know cause of the ending I gave you) but there's been a lot of issues with that, notice how she couldn't bring anyone back to life in Age of Ultron? The issues will become a little clearer as we proceed.**

 **And a big ol' thank you to everyone that simply read the story, please do let me know your thoughts though, my goal is to give the perfect amount of closure with my OC so your reviews will help a lot in achieving that :)**


	127. Chapter One-Hundred and Nineteen

**CHAPTER ONE-HUNDRED AND NINETEEN**

* * *

"One of the most important lessons you can learn is that a healthy love does not hurt, it heals."

― **L. E. Bowman**

* * *

Amelia had been able to bear witness a lot of sunsets, but not a single one had taken her breath away like the one she watched that night with Steve.

Maybe it was the beautiful cacophony of colours she saw, like a mellow rainbow which took up the entire sky, the darkest blue at the top revealing hundreds and hundreds of stars. Maybe it was the beauty of the scene before her, or maybe it was because of where she was. Not only was she sat on the porch of her beautiful homemade by the beautiful man she loved, but she was also sat in his arms, both of them holding steaming hot chocolates. They were sharing a moment that was too perfect, so peaceful that it could only really ever be dreamt up.

They were so happy, not the kind of happiness that had people jumping up and down because they were so overjoyed it almost felt like they were about to burst. No, the kind of happiness they felt then made the pair mellow, at peace and just grateful to be alive. It was the rarest kind and by far the most precious.

Steve's finger began to draw meaningless shapes on her arms as he lowered his head so it rested against hers. She'd be lying if she said that she wasn't already missing his beard, but her heart hadn't crumbled completely, it was being held together by the hope Steve had given her by promising that after they were finished with Thanos he'd grow the beard back.

"How are you feeling?" Steve asked, voice as quiet as the distant crickets. He'd noted that the sound wasn't as loud as he remembered them being, but he didn't dwell too long on that thought. It somehow made things worse, knowing that it wasn't just humans that had perished when Thanos snapped his fingers. Amelia had thought of it too, having taken a moment after shaving Steve's beard to call the man that Gran had put in charge of taking care of her dogs. He'd answered and he'd survived with a lot of questions, apparently he'd watched as all three of her dogs vanished. Steve had found her crying and immediately held her, the both of them eventually moving on to other distractions. He showed her some of the house, mostly the downstairs, they only explored the bedroom upstairs once before having a late tea which consisted of more pancakes. After that, they rested on the porch with hot chocolates.

"Overwhelmingly content," she whispered back, lifting her head so she could look up to Steve, so grateful to be able to do such a thing, so grateful that he was the one person that hadn't been taken away. She'd be much happier if everyone else was there, like her brother, and Wanda. But at least she had Steve, that's what she needed to hold onto until they got everyone back. Her eyes flickered to the house behind them, looking into the window and seeing the fireplace she planned on sitting in front of before they went to bed. "What you did here Steve, this house, it's so amazing," she mused, her voice as loud as the crickets in the distance.

"I'm glad you like it," he replied, a soft smile taking place on his lips. "Did you see the office I made you yet?" Amelia shook her head. "I figured you'd like a place to go to whenever things get too much, I know sometimes you stress, so it's a room for you to discover a new hobby. You could start painting, writing, or just do your scrapbooks-"

"I found those on the bookshelves, they were a very nice touch," the brunette added, feeling enthralled by how much decent thought he'd put into so many little details. She thought she was the only one who thought about their future together and what they could do, imagining different scenarios.

"They were Addy's idea," he revealed, looking off into the sunset as his heart ached slightly at the memory of his lost friend. Then he gestured to the multitude of flower pots that were spread around the porch, "she also helped create the garden."

"And here I've been giving you all the credit," she joked, making a note in her head to thank the strawberry blonde once she was back with them. Amelia moved her head too, going back to stare in front them, imagining on the lawn two beautiful children and all three of her dogs back, running around and playing together whilst Steve and Amelia watched on laughing, feeling the kind of happiness that threatened to burst their bodies apart. "I can't stop thinking about us here, with our kids, and our dogs. It will be so perfect," she confessed, and then she gave a slight nod, "It will be, after we've gotten everyone back."

Steve paused, repeating her words in his head and taking in what they meant for their future, after a moment, he said something entirely unexpected. "Nat owes me fifty dollars now," he laughed, a tinge of sadness covering his joy. Amelia sat up then, placing her half-drunk hot chocolate onto the arm of the bench swing they were on. He also put his drink down, knowing they were about to have the conversation he'd put off after she woke up. First, he needed to clarify in order to rid the curious and confused expression on her face. "Me and Natasha made a bet on whether you'd want to stay or not, she thought you'd want to stay, but I knew otherwise."

He looked as sad as she felt. Neither of them wanted to continue with the battles, the fights, the sacrifices. All either of them wanted any more was just that house and the beautiful life that would come with it. But at the same time, they were some of the only few left with the ability to _do something_. To sit and watch the world suffer would make them villains, and maybe at one point in her life, Amelia would have been okay with that, but no longer. Now, she needed to do something. She relayed that exact thing to Steve, tightening her hands. "I wish I could, but I can't just give up on everyone, I have to do something."

Noticing the way she tightened her hands had him immediately reaching out to unclasp them, not risking letting her old habit make an appearance again. She wasn't alone anymore, and as long as he was around, she never would be. That would include what they had to do next. "I know, and we will." It wasn't just her that had to do something, they did, _they_ were going to do something.

"It'd help if I knew more about what's been going on," she teased gently, allowing him to rub over the spot where her nails had slightly dug in.

"There's not much to tell you really," he said through a sigh, "we're searching for him as best we can, though we've got someone new to help us out, she's called Carol Danvers, before Fury vanished he used a pager to call her."

"What's she doing?" Amelia asked, all business, talking just like a soldier. The soldier he'd made her into, he reminded himself. Tony had been the first to point it out and he hadn't been able to forget it, or stop noticing it, ever since.

"She's human, but she's also from space, she knows it better than we do so we've got her out searching through space for your brother."

At the mention of her brother Amelia perked up, it was all she ended up concentrating on, not even wondering about the whole 'also from space' part. All that mattered was that she now knew who she was relying on to find and rescue her brother, the brother she knew wasn't dead yet. He couldn't be, he wasn't allowed to die until they fixed things, just like how she and Steve weren't allowed to have their happy ending until they fixed what had happened to their planet. She'd been hoping that it would be Nat or Bruce or Rhodey, someone she knew well and would rely on in a fight without a second thought. "And you trust her?"

"I trust anyone who's willing to help by this point," he answered honestly, knowing it might not have been quite what she wanted to hear but it was all that he could give her at that point.

She gave a stern nod, not knowing if she'd be able to trust this Carol Danvers, but Amelia had enough hope to go around and she could at least give that to the stranger. "How are you trying to find Thanos?"

"Bruce said something about searching for the gamma radiation," he answered, not going into too much detail with the science aspect in case he got something wrong.

"Makes sense," Amelia murmured, remembering that that was how they'd found the mind stone all those years ago. She wasn't too concerned anyway, the brunette had already thought up a plan of her own through the day on how she'd get to Thanos. "Well, maybe after I've got my energy back I can look use my connection with the space stone again, try to figure out where he is through doing that."

Seeing her planning clenched his heart even more and he couldn't prevent one of his hands cupping her chin, thumb drawing across the patch of freckles that rested there. She was so powerful, so strong both mentally and physically. But he wished that she didn't have to be. "You know I want to give you a better life now, right?" He questioned, a part of him worried that the reason she wasn't succumbing to their life in that house was because of their past where he'd always put off peaceful times for the next mission, the next time he'd need to save the little guy. "After this, no more battles, no more wars, just us and this house and a family."

"I know," she sighed, placing her hand over his and looking into his eyes, truly wanting to believe that what he said was the truth, "and that's why we _will_ win." All they needed to do was make a world that didn't need Captain America anymore, that wasn't going to be impossible, was it?

He'd been staring at her face, but his eyes caught sight of something glinting on her finger, capturing the light of the falling sun on its metal frame. The ring. The ring that held so much promise, a promise he'd never forgotten about. He turned his hand so that he could then grasp hers and pull it down to his lap where his finger caressed the ring. The ring she'd placed on her finger right before… he daren't think of that moment. The moment when he'd almost lost her. "I know I said I can wait for our life in this house, but I'm not so sure if I can wait to marry you any longer," he murmured, revealing to her a sadness she'd never expected to see on his face.

"Then don't." The answer had seemed so simple to her. If not being married made him sad, then they should get married then and solve the problem.

"Hm?" He sounded absentmindedly, not really hearing her at first which was very clear considering the laidback reaction.

"Marry me, Steve," she repeated, louder, finally gaining the reaction she wanted as he stared at her wide-eyed at first. Then he gave her another surprise, bursting out into wide laughter, a giant smile filling his face as he leaned back away from her slightly, as though he couldn't contain the chuckles breaking free. Amelia frowned at the soldier. "Why are you laughing, I'm being serious here?"

"I know you are, that's why I'm laughing," he explained through the giggles. Steve calmed down when he properly looked at her and saw his frown, he closed his mouth but the smile still persevered as he shook his head once more. "You never do things the normal way."

Amelia began to pull her hands away, still very confused by his reaction, "is this your way of saying you don't want to?"

"Not at all," he recovered smoothly, reaching out to grab her hands back, trying to fix the mistake he'd made, "but there's no ring for me, there's supposed to be two, one for you and one for me." There were so many reasons why they couldn't get married, that was only the first one that came to his mind. But then the more he delved deeper, the more reasons he could come up with for why they didn't really matter.

"Well, here," she responded, sharing Steve's thinking as she pulled from her neck the chain that had once dawned the ring on it. It was easy to break apart even with her lack of strength when she twisted it around the right way. She snapped the metal until it was a small string and then she tied a knot into it so it would take the form of a very loose ring. She handed it over to Steve for him to experiment, testing if it would even fit on one of his thick fingers. "It's not great, but it's metal and circular, what more do you want?" She excused, then beginning to laugh as she recalled one interesting fact, "actually, I just realised that this is Gran's, she gave this to me."

There was no way Gran would have been able to think up what use that chain would eventually serve, but it was quite amusing that her future self had once again given them what they needed to have that perfect moment in their home under the sunset.

Steve knew that too, but it didn't stop his heart warming up at the thought that every Amelia, every version of herself, was determined to make that moment happen, even accidentally. It was fate. _She_ was fate embodied, always choosing her own path. It had been what made him fall for her the first time they met, and it hadn't ceased it's effect ever since. "I love you so much Amelia," he confessed, the emotion that drowned his tone giving the repeated words more of an effect.

The brunette tried not to show how much of an effect it had on her, tried not to show that him saying those words gave her heart more life than the blood or oxygen pumping through her body. "So, what do we do now?"

"We say our vows," he said, quickly beginning to wrack his mind for the perfect words to say until he noticed Amelia's blank stare which was practically begging for an expansion of his explanation, "normally people's wedding vows explain what they want from the marriage, what they promise for it, that sort of thing."

"So it's just an opportunity for people to be really cheesy?" She concluded, body rising slightly as it sounded like the perfect opportunity for her to get out all of the feelings that had accumulated over their day together.

He laughed at her very valid summary. "Exactly."

"I'll go first then," Amelia announced, getting more comfortable in her seat as she tilted her heart so that every pure emotion would spill out of her in the form of words. She pulled off her ring, and then made Steve hold onto it, their other held hands having his chain-ring in between them.

"Steven Grant Rogers," she began, "we've been through hard times, from the moment we met we've been going through difficult times, and, somehow, we have survived it all, we have always fought and found our way back to each other. To me, that means we're owed something from the universe, we're owed our happy ending and I don't care if I have to kill a god for it, we will have the softest epilogue anyone has ever heard. We will live a life just kissing, watching movies, falling asleep together, drinking hot chocolates every night, cuddling each other, holding hands all the time, baking together. We're going to do everything together and we'll be so completely happy, people will think we're insane. You're my soulmate, Steve, you're my saviour, you are the man I am completely in love with. You're all I want, _this_ is all I want. You have no idea how grateful I am to have met you, to have chosen you, and have you choose me."

She'd never been so truthful with her feelings before, never laid herself so bare for him and it carried with it a lot of fears. Those anxieties were soon washed away all because of the look in his bluer than blue eyes. It reminded her of what Nat had once said, that he looked at her like he could never grow bored. It had her blushing and tilting her head away, the brunette too worried that if she continued to see it than her heart might implode in her chest. "Okay, stop looking at me like that, it's your turn."

"Amelia Elizabeth Stark," he said her full name so smoothly, despite never having actually said it before. It was like he'd been waiting for the moment to finally use it, albeit, he did expect her to be wearing a white dress when he said it, not just his plain white dress shirt. "You are the light of my life in impossible ways." Off the bat, he chose to be drastic, but that was because he wanted to make it clear to her that he saw her as a phenomenon, an angel, a goddess, something much more than human and far greater than anything else the universe might have had to offer. "It is so easy for me to love you that it frightens me. I've never been good at relationships, but I've never wanted anyone- in fact, I've never wanted _anything_ , as much as I want to hold you every waking minute, and every night whilst I sleep. In you, I have finally found all that I never dared dream I could deserve or have - the kind of love that is very rare, being known in a way that touches the deepest parts of me, being accepted in a way that sometimes I can't comprehend it. My biggest regret is how long it's taken me to realise that my place in this world has always been by your side, and I'm sorry for the wait this has made, the first promise I make to you is that you'll never have to second guess my love again, it is here for you and it always shall be. The second promise I make to you is that I will be more careful about what I do promise. Keeping that in mind, I promise to give you a place to call home, I promise that I will always keep your heart safe, I promise to fill your life with laughter and all the hugs you want, I promise that you will fall asleep with me at your side every night, and I promise that you will never face a day alone, I promise to be dependable, honest and supportive. I promise to give you the life we are owed, I promise you the happy epilogue."

Amelia sniffled, not quite sure when her emotions had started to leak out of her, but definitely not ashamed. They were happy tears, another precious rarity those days. She almost wanted to have a second try at her vows, because after the poetry Steve had spouted, she'd found a few more words to say. But she didn't think that would be allowed and she wanted their wedding to be as traditional as they could get it then. Her second try would come when they had the official wedding.

"What do we do now?"

He opened up their hands and turned them around, revealing the two rings. "We put the rings on." Steve demonstrated first, grasping her ring and slipping it onto the appropriate finger. With much slower motions, she copied him, grasping the chain and rolling it onto his finger, repeatedly looking up at him to make sure she was doing it right. He made no move to stop her and eventually they were both wearing their rings, it was as official as it could get.

"Mines better than yours," she mused, watching the light dance from her ring which sadly the simple chain could not do. "Is that it?"

"I'm supposed to kiss the bride," he explained, the side of his lips lifting upward, making it very clear to Amelia that he was looking forward to that part a lot more.

"Kiss away," she welcomed, and so he did.

It wasn't passionate or enthralling, it was simple, a kiss that would seal the deal. Still, it had her eyes fluttering shut and her skin tingling.

"So you're my husband now?" She questioned eagerly.

His head teetered from side to side as he gave his answer, "I mean, not officially, we're missing a lot of necessary things but this should do for the time being."

"We can always do the big wedding later," she concluded. Just like they can have their farmhouse together later, and their kids, and their dog.

"Exactly," he agreed, welcoming Amelia into his arms as she fell into him.

"For now, this is _perfect_ ," she sighed happily, shutting her eyes as she let the warmth of his body next to hers embrace her.

It happened suddenly, but immediately.

There was no warning for the pain that erupted inside her. It wasn't like someone crushing her heart in their hand, it was like her heart had exploded, gone from her chest.

She couldn't breathe. She couldn't think. She didn't even realise her body had slipped onto the floor after her limbs seized, not until she opened her squeezed shut eyelids and found Steve leaning over her, a look of concern deeply etched into his features.

"Amelia?" He called out, shaking her body, feeling useless as that was all he could do, just say her name. "Amelia!"

"Steve, it hurts," she cringed out, not realising how much relief her saying anything was to him. It was too similar to the last time she'd fallen, but when she had passed out last time he didn't believe she'd ever wake up. "My powers, my- what's happening?" Words were hard but she'd managed to get out the most important part. There was something wrong with her powers, that was where all the pain emanated from.

"I don't know, but we'll find out," he replied, determined as he lifted her up into his arms, holding her against his chest, unfazed when she grabbed a hold of his shirt and dug her nails into his skin, trying to release some of the pain that was overpowering her. "We're going to go see Bruce okay, he can help."

Though Steve could not feel the change happening in her, he was able to see it as her strained eyes began to suddenly change. Every star that speckled the universe held in her gaze was going out, one by one, making her iris' just empty and black.

She nodded, and that was the last thing Amelia could do as the pain became too much. She wanted to hold on, but she also wanted to stay at the house for one more night, and that wasn't going to happen.

"Amelia?" He called out when her body went suddenly limb, hands releasing his body. Panic crashed around inside of him, much like it had done last time, but he was brought relief by the small rise and fall of her chest. He lowered his head so their foreheads touched. This was it, this was what Gran had warned him about. "Freckles."

* * *

 **A/N: Bonjour! Sorry, I know I'm a day late, didn't mean to keep you guys waiting but I was busy yesterday and didn't go on my laptop at all.**

 **Anyway, I'm really excited to hear your guys' thoughts on this, I was very unsure about whether to add this scene where they got sort of married.**

 **To 17Daybreak, glad you enjoy the anguish, I certainly write a lot of it. Hope you're still reading and enjoying and whatnot :)**

 **To LoveFiction2019, glad to hear it.**

 **To kuppcake, they deserved this day of peace, and I'm glad you enjoyed it. Also, I make no promises about not killing people.**

 **To LeopardFeather, WOW THANK YOU FOR THAT DEDICATION, and oh my god thank you for such kind words. I hope you enjoy this one too and I'm sorry I can't give you quick updates but I have a job now haha.**

 **To cas, OH MY GOD I DIDN'T EVEN REALISE FUUUUUUCK. Oh my god, it's official, I'm psychic, I predicted 'rest now'. Thank you for pointing this out to me!**

 **To SnowPaws101Reverie, hope the tests went well! And yes, I will forever be upset about the lack of Bearded Steve in the movie. And yay, super happy to hear you enjoyed the last chapter.**

 **To Assbitch67, if the last chapter hurt your heart I wonder how this one affected you? Also the whole 'Oh how I love how much this makes me happy reading about my favorite couple getting their happiness for once in their lifeeeeeeeeeeee.' makes me feel kinda bad because goddamn, I really do never give them a break.**

 **To CrackHeadBlonde, thank you for the question, I'm very sorry to say that all the dogs vanished. But it's okay, they're in the soul dimension with Peter Parker ahah.**

 **To shugokage, thank you :)**

 **To Pitspee, at least he had a timescale from Gran. And shush, don't mention Tony, just think happy thoughts. These past two chapters are healing and preparation for the world of angst and pain you're about to read. And thankfully for Amelia, she had her healing capabilities then, so no permanent damage was done to Amelia when she lost the baby :)**

 **And a big thankoo to everyone that just read the chapter!**


	128. Chapter One-Hundred and Twenty

**CHAPTER ONE-HUNDRED AND TWENTY**

* * *

"Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength."

― **Arnold Schwarzenegger**

* * *

Steve and Amelia were sat in silence within the quinjet as he flew them to the Avengers facility, their first ever home together. Both of them felt sobered by what had happened. Amelia had had some sort of fit and now they were returning to the real world, their wonderful day in their wonderful farmhouse coming to an unsatisfactory end.

The brunette was sat in the seat beside Steve, her legs tucked under herself, her body curled in on itself as her eyes stared off into the distance, not really concentrating on what was in front of her, unable to concentrate on anything except the wide emptiness stretching open her insides. It felt like her soul had been replaced by nothing, the kind of nothing found in a winter wasteland, or a desert where once a civilisation had thrived. The only thing that kept her body from crumbling altogether was Steve's hand that held hers. Their hands hung between the two of them and they had ever since Amelia woke up, bringing Steve much relief that she hadn't gone back into a coma.

His hand was the rope that promised to pull her back to the surface as she delved into her soul, trying to find any little trace of the starlight that used to run through her veins. It was a dangerous place, the darkness inside of her, the nothing. But, as promised, when they did arrive Steve squeezed just hard enough on her hand to reign her consciousness back in.

She looked at him, struggling to convey any emotion, and he looked back at her with sympathy. "You ready to go?"

Amelia shook her head, "not yet." She didn't want to see her friends again when she was feeling such a way, she needed to be able to do more than mirror the emptiness inside. He was supportive of her decision, standing up for only five seconds so that he could move Amelia, sit down himself and put her on his lap. He might not have been able to give her the strength she needed from her powers, but he could give her emotions to replace the nothing, his arms cradling her making her feel warmer, loved, _alive_.

Ten minutes more of cuddling with her husband had restored her enough to be able to fake a smile so they finally exited the quinjet, finding Nat waiting patiently across the field Steve had landed. Amelia suspected the lack of a welcome home party was due to it being quite late, which considering brunette's mood at that moment in time, she was quite grateful for the lack of company.

Steve was practically carrying Amelia across the field as they walked together with one arm around her waist and the other holding the hand she'd jutted out in order to stabilise herself. His expression showed his sympathy for her very clearly, which is why the brunette chose to stare only at her feet, making sure that they kept following the orders she was giving them.

"Morning sleeping beauty," Natasha bantered once they were all close enough to hear one another. The former redhead met Steve's eyes, silently asking how concerned she should be for her best friend, not wanting to vocally coo at the brunette as she was aware of Amelia's pride and her ability to constantly refuse when things weren't okay. Steve gave an almost invisible grim shake of his head. Amelia wasn't okay and she needed their support.

Once the brunette was sure she was steady on her feet, she looked up and displayed her brightest smile. "Hey, Nat, it's really good to see you," she spoke with enough honesty to supply her words with a pure warmth. Bravely, Amelia let go of Steve and opened her arms to Natasha, welcoming the blonde into an embrace that quickly had her teetering backwards. One of her arms flailed, grabbing onto Steve who'd had the foresight to stay close to her just in case. "Sorry," she apologised shyly, using Stee's assistance to get back on her feet properly.

"It's okay Freckles," Steve assured gently.

From the sidelines, Nat began to smile, able to see their love as clear as day and very happy to find it thriving once more. It had been difficult seeing her two friends apart and broken, and after everything that had happened with Thanos, it was nice to see one good thing managed to survive. "Come on," she said, hating to break the happy couple up but knowing that they couldn't waste any time, "we've got the lab set up and Bruce is waiting to do some tests."

Amelia tightened her grip on her soldier, ready to start another aching journey, but it seemed Steve had a different idea as he rounded her body, laced his arms behind her back as well as behind her knees, and pulled her up into his arms, pressing her form against his chest. She first looked at him surprised, then she looked at him with insult. "I can walk you know." Sure, it was much slower, caused her pain and drained a lot of energy that she didn't have, but she refused to be an inconvenience, a pity case.

He sent her his best smile, not wanting to fight over the behaviour he'd known she'd display the second he helped her more than was deemed necessary. "Yeah, but this is so much nicer, don't you think," Steve chimed, his voice intentionally musical and sweet as he fixed her under a stare that read 'you can't stop me from doing this'.

She matched the gaze with a fiery one of her own, but its effects were lost on him as a smile teetered on her lips and her head was pulled magnetically to rest against his chest. "You are quite warm, I guess," she mumbled, her words acting reluctant whilst her body openly accepted the gentle hold he'd put her in. He laughed, shaking his head at her actions, beginning his journey then.

Nat guided them through the halls unnecessary, Steve and Amelia both able to remember where they needed to go as they'd spent equal amounts of time in the lab, getting medical tests done as they finished missions that left them pretty damaged. It was never a big deal because both of them had advanced healing capabilities. Amelia couldn't help but wonder if she still had that, or if she'd need to start being more careful on missions, especially when it came to the next time they'd be facing Thanos, the mad Titan could quite easily kill her and she needed to make sure she lived on. The greatest revenge she'd be able to get, the one she was determined to achieve, was to restore the world, kill Thanos, and return to her farmhouse with Steve. That was the future she needed, Amelia didn't know what she'd do if she couldn't get that, so she simply pretended like it wasn't even an option for fate.

After a five minute walk through the facility (passing through the hallway Amelia could recall running through whilst Steve chased her for his shaving razor) they entered the laboratory made up of clean whites, stainless steels and walls of glass. In the corner beside a table of typical medical supplies was a curly-haired man, made recognisable by his hunched stature.

"Hey Bruce," Amelia called out upon entrance, "long time no see, how are things?"

"I'd say that things could be worse but that seems a little insensitive considering your situation," he said lightly, eyes struggling to meet hers but he hid it in the way he played with all of the medical utensils in front of him, eventually picking up one of the more simpler looking devices and turning to her, "I'm just going to do a few tests, I'll do an initial scan and then I'm going to take some blood."

"Alright," she agreed simply. Her eyes strayed on the man approaching her, trying to get a read on his expression which was a little difficult as he kept it tilted slightly, not out of nervousness, it seemed more out of concern. She wondered what he knew, and what Steve had told him and Nat. _She_ knew how serious the issue was, but that was because she could feel it intimately. Their behaviour didn't make sense, unless they knew something she didn't.

Steve rubbed her side with his hand, gaining her attention whilst he spoke, "do you need me to hold your hand?"

The brunette rolled her eyes at his teasing words, the both of them knowing full well that she'd be fine with the tests, it was when the results came that she'd need him and his hand, possibly both of them so at least someone could hold her together as she fell apart. But until then, no, she did not need him. Amelia made that clear through her favourite kind of humour, sarcasm. "Oh yeah, cause after everything I've been through needles are what gets me shaking."

He gave her a short laugh, leaning over and pressing a kiss atop her head, he stayed there for a second too long, unsure of whether he should actually leave her or not. She noticed and understand his reluctance, Amelia thought it was because he didn't want her to think he was abandoning her again and breaking his promise so she pushed her hand against his side and urged him to go. She had no idea it was because his heart had barely recovered from almost losing her after their fight with Thanos.

"I'll be back in ten minutes, I'm just going to get a catch up on what's been going on whilst we were away," he explained, finally stepping back from her. Amelia gave a nod, understanding why he was going, a little envious that he got to go do that whilst she was stuck getting tests done. As he was walking away, he stopped at Natasha's side and turned his head so he could give the blonde a very serious order, "take care of her."

"Yes, Captain," she joked, glancing over to Amelia with an amused expression as the brunette rolled her eyes. He was acting like she was going into surgery. Once the soldier was gone, Nat moved to stand where he once had at Amelia's side. "You two seem to be in a happy place."

"The day off was nice, very nice," she explained, subconsciously stroking one finger across her wedding ring as a dazzling smile took pride across her lips.

"Can you just lay down for me, please?" Bruce requested and Amelia followed, "thank you." He lifted a small device above her body, scanning from her toes to the tip of her head. Once done, he walked away with the device, examining its results secretly.

Amelia watched him stroll away, quickly turning back to Nat once the scientist was far enough away, beginning to whisper, "what about you?"

"We're good, I think," Nat whispered back, keeping her eyes on Bruce so she could make sure that he was far enough away to not hear what the women were discussing, "we haven't pursued anything but we're comfortable around each other again. It only took half the planet being eradicated."

Amelia cocked her head, eyeing her friend questioningly, "isn't it too soon to be making jokes?"

"Probably, but how else am I meant to deal with it?" Nat shrugged, her gaze darkening as for a single second she was reminded of the horrendous condition her planet had been forced into. She didn't look at Amelia, or Bruce, she just looked at the floor, not wanting anyone to see the foul emotion which crossed her expression. Sarcasm and jokes were her shields, the only defences she had until they solved everything. She didn't notice Amelia's hand reaching out until it wrapped around her own and forced it closer to the brunette.

"Very true," Amelia mused, not looking at Nat either, not bringing attention to the comforting touch she'd given her best friend, "so far all I've done is oversleep, eat pancakes, shave Steve's beard and-"

"Test the new bed?" Natasha interrupted, noticing the quick red blush that flourished on Amelia's cheeks. A sense of pride momentarily filled Nat as she felt responsible for helping Amelia embrace that side of her relationship with Steve.

"And that," Amelia mumbled, certain memories of debauchery playing in her head that she really didn't want to be imagining in the presence of her friends. Luckily for her, Bruce chose then to interrupt.

He looked between the two women, waiting to make sure that their conversation was definitely over before interrupting. "You can sit back up now," he informed Amelia and she did as he suggested. Once she was comfortable in her upright position he started to wrap a plastic strip around her bicep, forcing the veins under her skin to come to the surface. Once they were visible, he lifted up a clinical white cylinder, a device Amelia recognized was meant to take blood. "This might sting," he warned out of instinct.

"I know," Amelia responded back simply, her eyes observant of what his hands were doing as a small whisper of panic crawled up her neck. It was barely anything, just a small piece of her old life that had no effect on her, it's control over her meaningless after all the new experiences she's had, after she'd grown so much. That was the thing about her past traumas, they didn't control her like they once did, but they were still there, they would never leave her. Pierce and the things he did to her, along with the things he'd made her do, the memories still sat heavy in the back of her mind, a placated beast waiting until she was at her most vulnerable to roar and attack. It rarely got such opportunities. Like in that moment, as she remembered all the experiments done on her, and all the experiments she couldn't remember, the beast could have easily tried to attack her then, but it knew nothing would come of the wasted energy, for the brunette was no longer vulnerable, it would have to try much harder and be much fiercer to get its desired reaction.

"Right," Bruce cleared his throat, also realising who he was talking to, not just another patient but Amelia Stark, ex-assassin, daily badass. His eyes connecting with hers for a chaste second and it revealed a lot of emotions he'd been worked very hard on keeping from her. There was fear, concern, and secrets. Realising that he might have revealed more to Amelia than he should at that point, he tried to distract from the look, going back to taking three samples of blood "It's, um, it's good to see you and Steve back together, I always thought the both of you looked much happier together than apart."

Nat moved around to sit beside Amelia, elbowing her friend as she began to speak, agreeing with the scientist, "yeah, it's like you're two puzzle pieces that fit together, it was weird seeing you apart, and difficult seeing the effects it had on the both of you." The redhead turned blonde looked over to Bruce very obviously, a sincere smile on her lips that had Amelia thinking she wasn't completely talking about the brunette's reunion with the super soldier. "This is much better."

The brunette's eyes flickered between the two, her close friend obviously still very attached to Bruce, perhaps even more after losing so many of her friends and comrades, meanwhile Bruce wasn't meeting anyone's eyes, she knew from how he'd been behaving before their fight with Thanos that he wasn't the same shy guy she remembered, he'd gone through a lot and evolved much like all of them had. He wasn't shy, but he was closed off, he was stressed, and Amelia just wasn't in the mood for letting him ignore the great relationship he could have with Nat. "You two would make a cute couple," she mused out loud.

At first, the two Avengers just looked at her in shock, red that reminded her of Natasha's natural hair. The super spy was the first to boldly speak out, slapping her hand against the brunette's arm (thankfully not the one she'd just had blood taken from) and yelled out her name, appalled, "Amelia!"

Bruce stepped back, resisting the urge to become an ostrich and bury his head in the floor which was about the only thing he could see saving him from how uncomfortable he felt. Thankfully for him, he had a reason to leave as the blood samples were still in his palm. He lifted them up into the air, trying to offer some sort of explanation, "ugh, I'm, uh, done here so I'll just," and then he wandered away.

Nat watched his retreating figure helplessly, soon turning to face Amelia with an expression that had the brunette gulping. She threw out an arm, the sudden movement became Amelia switch slightly but it turned out she was only lifting her arm to gesture towards where Bruce had once stood. "See what you did? You literally scared him away."

Amelia disagreed with Nat's perspective, too enthralled in the aftermath of her getting married to Steve, of holding onto the love of her life who she was lucky enough to still have. She just wanted her best friend to have that as well. Feigning innocence, she tried to defend herself without bringing up what had transpired with Steve. Amelia didn't know if she could tell anyone yet as the couple hadn't been able to have that conversation, she'd ended up fainting moments after their wedding which impeded on them figuring out the logistics. "I'm trying to be your…. What do they call it? Birdwoman? Beak woman? It's something to do with a bird…."

"It's called a wing woman," Nat filled in for Amelia, making the brunette click her fingers as she finally found the word. Natasha rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest, "and you have to be a lot more subtle than that, please don't ever try and do it again."

The door to the medical room slid open and Steve Roger's slipped back in. Less than ten minutes had passed but he'd rushed back, the minutes away from Amelia almost agonising and he made that clear as the moment he stepped back into the room he was making his way over to her and taking her hand into his. His lips eased into a smile once their skin was touching, and then he looked between the two women, taking in Nat's unhappy expression. "What did I miss?"

"Your girlfriend thinks she's a love expect just because she's engaged to you again," Nat explained, making it known to the married couple that she'd indeed noticed the ring that had returned to Amelia's finger, she just wasn't aware of its real intent. Steve and Amelia's eyes connected as neither of them knew what to say, neither of them knowing if they _wanted_ to say anything. Of course, the silence was much more suspicious and it had Nat's eyes sharpening, turning analytical. "What?"

"Uh, so where is everyone else?" Amelia spoke over her friend, wanting to discuss how the remainder of their team was doing a lot more than the fact she'd had a kind-of wedding without one of her best friends present.

"Mostly still recovering, waiting until we can find a lead," Steve answered for her, wishing that he could have more information to give her but they'd done all they could, they had someone searching for Tony, who Gran had promised was still alive, and they'd got all of Stark Industries resources - the best of the best - focused on finding any sign of Thanos in the Universe. It was going to take time, but they would find him.

"I'm sorry I wasn't being of much help," Amelia sighed.

There was another reason why she was frustrated about what had occurred with her body. She'd missed so many days where she could have been helpful, where she could have used her powers to connect with the space stone and locate Thanos. Instead, she'd used so much of her power during the battle with Thanos that it had led her to almost dying. Gran had told her to though, Gran had made her put every bit of power the space stone gave her into that battle, why? What kind of future was Gran trying to achieve?

"I think a coma is a good enough excuse to get out of work, don't worry," Natasha quickly comforted, forgetting all about the argument they'd had to banish her friend's worries. When Amelia continued to look down at her hands, continued to question why Gran tricked her into making herself so weak, Natasha reached out to grab her friend's other available hand, "hey, like I said, don't worry Freckles, we're the Avengers remember, we're going to win."

She smiled gratefully at her friend, as did Steve.

"Hi," Bruce called from behind, all medical contraptions abandoned and in his hand was a tablet which Amelia assumed held her remote.

"Just tell it to me straight doc, am I dying?" She joked.

Steve squeezed her hand for a second, shaking his head admonishingly at her for a moment, "don't say things like that."

"You're not dying," Bruce jumped in, but from the look on his face, it was clear that the good news wasn't going to be followed with some more. He met her eyes then, out of respect, out of sorrow. That time it was Amelia who squeezed Steve's hand. Bruce looked between Steve and Natasha, confirming their fears that Gran had been right, what Amelia went through after fighting Thanos wasn't the worst to come. With a heavy heart, Bruce revealed what the worst part was to be.

"It's your powers Amelia, they're gone."

The brunette became a statue, the world falling out from under her feet and the very air leaving her lungs. They were gone. Her powers from the space stone were all gone, taken from her by the man she'd only be able to kill with the use of said powers. She was just ordinary, just human. Amelia couldn't fully comprehend it in her head at first.

She didn't know who she was without her powers.

Steve's eyes were fixed on her, waiting for some sort of cataclysm to occur, ready and prepared to hold her together as she fell apart. But there was nothing, no sadness, no happiness, just emptiness, which he expected was all his partner could really feel on the inside. He couldn't even imagine what it was like, one day having so much energy buzzing inside of her, only to have it taken away. He was impressed she was even still standing. Amelia was processing things, before she could say anything, she needed to process the news herself. He would give her the time to do that whilst processing it himself, trying to find out if there was any way he could get the powers back for her. "What do you mean gone?" He asked Bruce.

"There's no trace of them in her, there's nothing to even suggest that she once had them really," the scientist explained, trying not to sound too harsh with his words, but not really knowing how to explain it any better. He'd seen the tests Tony did when they met for the first time after her kidnapping, every part of her body had energy. But in the tests he'd just done, she was completely human with no signs of any kind of power once belonging inside of it.

"That woman, Gran, she said something like this would happen before," Nat thought out loud, joining Steve's efforts in asking enough questions that would lead them to the answer of how they got them back. They needed to get Amelia back to her old self. The silent state the brunette was in made them believe that she couldn't handle the emptiness, that she was about to change into someone lost, and they would not allow that to happen. They helped her find her way when she was Freckles, and both of them would be damned if they let Amelia lost sight of that path they'd gone through a lot of trouble to find. "From what I gathered, Freckles went into that coma because Thanos used too much of the space stone's power which she's infused with, then Gran also said that there would be worst to come. I think this is the worst."

"Thanos must have used the stones again then, and this time it must have been too much for your body, you were still recovering from the first hit," Bruce theorised, trying to include Amelia in the conversation. There had been many times in his life when people would talk about the Hulk like he wasn't in the room and it had never felt nice, he wanted to offer Amelia as much comfort as she could.

"That's why Gran gave you her powers, so you could survive Thanos using the space stone," Steve concluded before turning back to Steve. "If she doesn't have her powers anymore, does that mean her connections been broken?" If there was still a connection then perhaps all they needed to do was get the space stone back with her and that could bring the powers back.

"I'd assume so, but there's no way for us to know, this isn't exactly my area of expertise." Bruce frowned, wishing that Tony was there in his place, there was no doubt in his mind that the billionaire was much more suited for the conversation they were having.

"If he's used the stones again, does mean there'd be another energy blast for us to track? We have the signature of the first one so it can't be that hard finding the second one." Amelia's words were a surprise, no one actually realised she'd asked a question until her brown eyes peered up at them. Brown eyes. Not black eyes filled with a universe. Ordinary eyes.

Bruce blinked, realising he'd become engrossed in the earthy brown eyes that he'd only just noticed. "Possibly, I'll look into it with Rocket," he said, hoping that he'd chosen to say the right thing. Steve didn't look happy that she was throwing herself into working, but Bruce had the belief that all they could do when someone was experiencing such loss was to allow them to cope as they wish, and _always_ be there for when they fall apart. Amelia wanted to work, wanted to be useful even though she was at her most useless.

"Amelia," Steve called out, twisting his body around so he was completely facing her, moving both of his hands so they were holding tightly onto hers. He was there for her. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she responded, no emotion being carried in her words that could solidify what they meant, but at least she was trying, that was what she hoped Steve and Natasha would see, "yeah I'm fine, we'll fix this so I don't have to be worried." They had to. That was what it always came down to. They had to fix the world, and they had to fix her power situation. They had to.

"Is anyone hungry, I'm hungry," Amelia changed the subject, pushing her body forward so that she could stand up on her own two feet, the two Avengers at her side immediately moving to stand up with her, just in case she fell over. The brunette put in extra effort to make sure that that did not happen. She refused to be weak. She refused to just be ordinary, even though she was purely human.

"No one's been food shopping in a while but I'm sure we could find something in the kitchen," Nat mumbled, unsure of whether she wanted to allow Amelia to move on from the conversation that needed to happen about her without powers. It was like she said though, they'd get the powers back. For some reason, it simply felt too cruel for Natasha to tell her friend that they might not manage to do that, so she would allow her to go get food.

Steve didn't argue against it either, she would only fight him on it and in the end, he'd let her have her own way. He supposed his one and only job in that moment was to be there for her in any way that he could. He stepped forward, ready to support her but the brunette placed a hand on his chest. "I can walk Steve, please." The 'please' she said carried a little emotion, the first spark of _something_ since the news had been received and it told the soldier all he needed to know.

She needed to be independent, she needed to be able to stand on her own two feet, she needed to know that she could do something even without her powers supporting her. She needed to know that she could still be _someone_.

* * *

 **A/N: Some more developments been made, we're getting further into the story. This chapter was meant to be a lot longer but the second part of it just didn't feel right at all, it felt like it should have a seperate chapter dedicated to it, the same way this news should for Amelia.**

 **To Ironheart, wow what a beautiful review, thank you so much for taking the time to write this. And holy shit where did you get the time to read this in just two days? You're a master level reader. I'm so happy to hear you love Amelia, including all of her flaws, my goal was never to create a perfect character, but a character than endures because that's something I think a lot of us feel we needed to be. Amelia inspired me. And thank you for giving your thoughts on Gran's death, I'm glad you found some peace with that. God just asdfghjkl in order to reply to this I'm reading it again for like the fifth time and I can't thank you enough, you're so nice to me and my character. Thank you thank you thank you.**

 **To 17Daybreak, I don't really know what chapter you're on but I think I can easily guess, I'm glads you enjoyed it and it wasn't uncomfortable!**

 **To BuckyBarnes07, I should rename this story to beautiful and sad aha.**

 **To SnowPaws101Reverie, it doesn't matter if you're a day late, shush, I don't actually upload another chapter until a week later so, I feel bad that I can't respond immediately anymore haha. AND HOLY SHIT CONGRATS ON THE HONOR ROLE AND THE MEDAL! THAT'S AMAZING MY DUDE! I HOPE YOU'RE PATTING YOURSELF ON THE BACK! CAPTAIN AMERICA WOULD BE SO PROUD! CAPTAIN AMERICA BELIEVES IN YOU BAND-WISE AS WELL! Anyway, thank you for liking the wedding scene, I'm super happy to hear. And NEVER APOLOGISE FOR LONG REVIEWS they literally make my week when I get long reviews.**

 **To LoveFiction2019, yeah, sorry about that, but this is The Chaos In Stars, we don't get happy endings here, just cliffhangers.**

 **To Pitspee, Donkey!**

 **To Assbitch67, I'm sorry for killing your dog, I also killed my dogs. Also, wait a second. I didn't kill anyones dogs, THANOS killed your dog. And oh my goddddddddddd thank you for this HYPE, bish I needed it aha. I wish I could say I was sorry for ripping out your hand but your pain is my food aha. AND WAIT WHICH BITCH IS GETTING MARRIED SOON TOO?**

 **To Shugokage, thank you! :)**

 **And a big thanks to everyone that read the chapter!**

 **P.S. Would anybody be interested in smut? Idk, seen as this is the final part I think I might try it but I want to make sure the general consensus is yay instead of nay?**


	129. Chapter One-Hundred and Twenty-One

**CHAPTER ONE-HUNDRED AND TWENTY-ONE**

* * *

"It is its absence which defines the importance of a thing."

― **Sarah Hall**

* * *

After Amelia demanded independence, Steve nodded his head reigning in his need to take care of her so he could give her the room she needed. Steve still walked close behind her, eyes fixed on her, ready and waiting to catch her if she did fall.

Nat was walking in the front with Bruce who'd chosen to join them so Amelia could be sure she had the full support of the team. The both of them kept turning their heads to the side and looking at her out of the corner of their eyes to make sure she was okay. Amelia's eyes were just set forward, that was all she was thinking about.

She was going to go forward, she was going to _keep_ going forward. She would not falter, fall or fail.

It took five minutes longer than usual but they did eventually make it to the living area, it was most like a common room. There was a large couch, a huge table, and quite a large kitchen. She'd only spent a few minutes in the room the last time she'd been at the Avengers facility and she'd felt the same sensation back then, it was the exact same feeling someone was getting from entering their childhood home that hosted the ghosts of happy childhood memories. That living space was where she discovered her family, it was where she and Steve's relationship had blossomed. It was a place that was meant to be full of happy memories, but it did not look like that then. The room looked darker even with the lights on. Worst of all, it looked so obviously empty. It was missing people.

The absence was very clear. It was the absence of light, the absence of warmth, the absence of the people who gave the room all of that and more. Amelia didn't know how it could get any worse. It made her feel so small, being in that room where all of her happiest memories envisioned it full.

Automatically she reached out for Steve's hand as she took the rest of the room in. he held it for her and squeezed it as though he was shoving all of his power into her.

He'd had the opportunity to take it all in, to see the effects it had had on the team and come to terms with it. But this was Amelia's first time facing the devastation for what it truly was, and if she felt anything like he had, then he knew she needed him.

Amelia's eyes were drawn to one man in particular. For once it was not her soldier, it was a fallen God, sat in a windowed room separate from the space, his gaze showing all that he'd lost cleary. Amelia's heart immediately ached at the sight of Thor's dour expression, a fire blazing in his eyes that Amelia recognised from personal experience was only meant for melting the owners' insides. That fires only use was self-destruction and that was what he was doing. He was sat in silence, meeting no one's eyes, too busy working on pulling apart his own insides.

"Oh, I almost forgot," she said softly, sympathetically and sadly. The memory came back of the last time she'd seen him, when victory had been in their palms but the God was too overthrown by his emotions that he allowed it to slip through their fingers. Amelia was possibly the only person in that room who understood. There were many times in her life where she'd made the mistake as well, all because she was weak to her own emotions. She was weak to them even then because her heart ached to comfort him, she couldn't resist the call, she simply had to do it. But first, she needed more information so she could tackle the situation properly. The brunette turned to Natasha, "how has Thor been doing?"

The blonde spy looked over towards their shared friend, her expression turning almost as glum as the God's. She opened her mouth, ready for an explanation for why he was containing himself in a room separate from the rest of them, but the answer came from someone much more unexpected. "He hasn't been the most social lately, he feels to blame for everything, just like the rest of us."

Amelia's eyes searched around, trying to find the source of the voice, but she did not find him until she lowered her eyes towards the floor, finding a racoon on two feet walking from the kitchen with a bottle of Tony's finest whiskey in his hand, the glass bottle already half emptied. It was a sight, but it certainly wasn't the weirdest thing she'd seen, Amelia had to remind herself of that because she didn't want to come across as rude to the strange creature before her. He spoke to her with such normality, she tried to return the favour. "I figured he would," Amelia sighed, looking back over to the God who had clearly not even noticed that she was there, a part of her wondered if he'd even noticed that she _hadn't_ been there. The racoon snorted, lifting the glass to his lips and whilst he was distracted she leant closer to Natasha, a new question waiting upon her tongue. "Is that… is that a racoon?"

"He's called Rocket, he talks and is very proficient with a gun," Natasha responded, her tone showing that she'd at least managed to get used to the new company. When Amelia raised one curious and confused eyebrow though, Natasha nodded, sharing the sentiment and making it clear she'd been holding it all in internally behind a well-disguised mask. "I know, it's weird, there's a lot of that going around though."

"Right, okay," the brunette agreed, deciding she would share Nat's way of dealing with everything and just choose to concentrate on something else, something much more important. At that moment, there was nothing more important to her than helping her friend. "Do you guys mind if I go talk with Thor alone?" She'd really only asked to be courteous. If they'd said no, she still would have gone.

"If you can get more than three words out of him I'll be impressed," the racoon, _Rocket_ , sarcastically stated, beginning to walk away, keeping the bottle close to his chest. Amelia wondered if she might need to talk to him, maybe offer him a hand to hold. But with the way he acted, so aggressive, it suggested to her that she was not someone he'd want to interact with.

"I'll go make you some food," Steve distracted, tugging on her hand as well.

She smiled at that, always grateful for the way he took care of her. She stepped closer, leaning up and kissing his cheek, reminding herself that he was her _husband_ now. Reminding herself that he was her good thing, her reason to keep fighting. "I'm guessing we can't have pancakes again," she joked, a slight hint of hopefulness filling her breath because Amelia would definitely accept another plateful of pancakes without a second thought.

His eyebrows pushed together, his eyes squinting, but a smile gracing his rose-tinted lips. "I think three meals in a row would be pushing it," he explained, much to Amelia's disappointment.

"Alright," she accepted, doing well at hiding her disappointment. It wasn't too bad, she liked a lot of foods and she was sure her _husband_ would be able to conjure up something edible enough.

The brunette needed to set her priorities straight as she began the journey over to Thor, her mind barely drifting to the fact that her body was a weight that couldn't handle itself as she imagined the many conversations with Thor and the multiple directions they could go. They were all riddled with anxiety so when she did enter the room, sitting down beside him, she chose to go with the simplest option.

"Hey, Thor," Amelia greeted, her voice carrying a cheery tone that made her cringe. It sounded so fake, of course it did, what could there possibly be to be happy about?

He didn't respond, his eyes were still staring forward and she could only imagine what thoughts he was so engrossed with. She tried to put herself in his position, but even then she was torn between three options. The first one was born from rage, it was a collection of images of Thanos' body torn apart in front of her, bloodied knives and bloodied hands passing through her vision as she continued to ruthlessly pull apart the one man who'd destroyed everything she cared apart. The second one was born from self-destruction, her hands and knives were clean but her body was in shreds, her insides spilling out, both physically and emotionally, her throat ached from all the screams she'd let out but still she thirsted for more pain, more punishment. The third and final option was born from hopeless desire, images of a home with her people, of sunshine kissing her skin and hands wrapping around hers. For some reason, it was the third one which hurt the most.

"How are you doing?" Amelia pursued further.

His eyes drifted in her direction for a second, a sign that he had heard her. They were thrown back forward after only a second, never bothering to meet hers, as though he'd been whipped by whatever thoughts were churning inside his head. He was in a prison of his own making.

"I've been better too." It was easy to guess that was his condition, no one ever displayed that sort of behaviour when they were okay. "It helps to know that I've got my friends here, friends who are willing to help me in whatever way I need, the same way they would for you," she continued on, knowing full well that her words were reaching him in some capacity and praying that they were having some sort of effect. He still didn't speak and she simply did not care. If required, Amelia would just talk for the next few hours. She might not have strength in her bones, but her heart was beyond that. "Being silent doesn't help anyone, it just means your emotions build up and there's only so much anyone can take of that, even a God had his limits."

His jawline clenched and released, she didn't expect any more of that from him but to her surprise and delight, he finally said some words to her. "I failed to kill Thanos and billions upon billions of lives paid the price for that mistake, to answer your earlier question, Little Stark, I've been better." They weren't professions of joy. They didn't fix anything. But they were a start, and Amelia was glad to have that.

A moment of silence passed as Amelia thought over her next words, making sure the ones she released fit the situation appropriately.

"I don't know if you know much about my past, but, I've killed a lot of people," she began, her hands automatically moving to the black hoodie Steve had given her on the jet back to the base, beginning to pull at its trimmings nervously as she allowed herself to become as vulnerable as Thor was in that moment. He was so honest with her, she felt she owed him the same. Her eyes moved upwards to the glass, looking in the same direction he had as she revisited darker times. "I've pulled triggers and pushed in blades, and I've _tortured_ , I know you were hurting and wanting some peace for all those people who died under Thanos' hands."

His mismatched eyes raised to hers as she spoke the few words he'd needed to hear. She understood. As horrible of an act as it was, as disgusted as he was by what he'd done, it still felt nice finding out that there was someone who saw what he'd done for what it was. Desperation. It had pushed aside all logical thoughts, even he'd struggled to truly understand why he'd made such a blunder afterwards, but she was enlightened, she _understood_.

Amelia met his gaze and supplied him with her best smile. It was not fake, it was not overwhelming. It was a slight raise of her lips that sent whispers into quiet winds that things would be okay, eventually. "I know why you did what you did, and it's okay, I forgive you."

His lips bent downwards on their own, his expression was not even strong enough to fight off the torrent of emotions bustling underneath the surface. He tried to recover, but they persevered so he had to look away. He was the God of Thunder. He wasn't supposed to be so weak. "I do not deserve your forgiveness."

"Yes well, if we went by the logic of that I wouldn't have Steve, nor you as a friend, you have my forgiveness because you a worthy of it," she explained, her voice cracking as her emotions matched his. She didn't care anymore by that point, Amelia simply had to reach out and grab his hand. She needed the human contact as much as he did. She squeezed his hand repeatedly, turning her body and beginning to speak with gritted teeth, "we are going to fix this, we're the Avengers, Thor. Don't you dare lose hope now, not when we need it most."

"I failed." He closed his eyes and the second he did a tear fell out. He'd been managing the pain so well for the past twenty-one days but Amelia had opened up the door to his vulnerability. He couldn't tell if it was for the best. All he could feel was his heart being crushed in his chest and the tears falling from his eyes. He'd failed himself, his family, his people, his team. It was his fault that everyone had been turned to dust.

But Amelia didn't see it that way.

"We all did, now it's up to us to fix this, you got that?" She'd fallen so many times. She'd lost so many people. She'd faced so many trials. But every single time she'd been pulled back up, something or someone had always brought her back. There was a reason for it all. She truly believed that the reason for it all was that moment right there, where the loss was too heavy to bare. She was familiar with the weight, and she did not fear it. She was familiar with its ways, and she knew how to fight it.

Thor's spare hand moved towards her, grasping onto her shoulder as he pulled his heavy body towards her, embracing her in a hug she had not been expecting, but it was a hug she accepted anyway. In some ways, she'd needed it too.

The God always made her think of sunshine. He'd been the embodiment of the sun to Amelia for quite a long time. He'd always been dressed in a smile and confidence. It was heartbreaking to see him in such a condition.

"I think you've been spending too much time with Steve," he mumbled against her shoulder and she laughed because what he'd said was very true. Steve was always trying to be positive as well, even in the darkest of times. Sometimes it was frustrating to her, but it seemed a little less so after that moment. She was grateful to have been able to witness her husband's perseverance, because it meant she was able to share it with other people. His inability to give up had been what led to her being given a chance and becoming Amelia Stark, and the brunette decided then that it would be what brought Thor back to being worthy in his own eyes.

They remained like that for a while, holding one another together, carrying the weight of their failures together and sharing the little bits of light they still had between one another.

Steve wandered over to the doorway at one point, a makeshift sandwich in his hands (mostly jam, the only sugary item left in the kitchen) and he'd paused when seeing the two embracing one another. He deliberated interrupting them for only a second, but then Rocket spoke from behind him. "I guess I was wrong, from what I saw she managed to get _at least_ ten words from him." Steve turned to face the creature, watching with pitying eyes (that Rocket chose to ignore) as he took another gulp from the barely full whiskey glass. He placed it down on the dining table, the noise loud in the empty room. "Who is she?" The creature questioned, his tone implying that he wanted more than just a name.

The soldier looked back to the brunette, to his _wife_. "She's more than you'd expect," he surmised, "more than she'd expect as well."

Rocket stared at Steve for a moment, a small part believing in his words but he soon realised that it was just hopeful bullshit. Life had taught him one thing, that hope was just a punishment people set on themselves. He rolled and turned his eyes away, looking towards the window.

Rocket was waiting. He'd been waiting for the past twenty-one days. Waiting for a spaceship to land on the lawn. Waiting for the doors to open. Waiting for his makeshift family to come back. Waiting to learn that they were still alive. They needed to be okay. He'd already lost Groot, he couldn't lose anyone else.

Meanwhile, back in the room, Thor and Amelia were finally pulling away from one another. The both of them automatically moving their hands to wipe away any stray tears that had escaped during their embrace.

Thor had taken her words seriously, absorbed them like water that had put out the fire in his heart temporarily. He'd needed something to hold on. He'd needed a splash of hope to give him the drive to fight once more, and she'd supplied him with exactly that. She'd reminded him, if only for a moment, of who he was, of why he'd been worthy. He would be okay again, for the remainder of the team, for those they'd lost and would _surely_ get back, and for her.

"So little Stark, how have you been?" He questioned, his voice much less grave and rough. He almost sounded like his old self again.

"That's a big question right now," she muttered after releasing a heavy breath. It was good being around Thor again, her little walking-talking ball of sunshine who made her feel positive even during troubling times. After what had just happened, she surely needed it, the same way he'd needed her. "I just found out that I've lost my powers because of Thanos, another thing he's taken from me." It was easier admitting that to him than it had been before.

"I'm sorry," he apologised, the words feeling useless. Before, he'd doubted her ability to possess such a significant power, but after bonding with her, he couldn't even imagine her without them. That was when he first noticed the emptiness in her eyes. It wasn't an emptiness in her soul or anything like that, she just looked so much more _human_. Her eyes were a simple, basic, brown. He knew the magnificence that could be held in brown eyes after engaging in a relationship with Jane Foster, but the eyes Amelia possessed did not sparkle with life as Jane's had. They were dull. They were the eyes of someone who had died.

"Don't be, the more he tries to break me, the more I fight," she promised, showing that despite her condition, she was still so much more than a simple brown-eyed human. She'd gone through too much to ever be so simple. Her hands curled into fists on her lap. "I will get my powers back, all I need to do is get my hands on the space stone and then we can fuse my body with the stone again."

He reached out with his hand, remembering what Steve would normally do when she positioned her hand in such a way that her nails would dig into her palms. "And you believe that will work." It was both a question and a statement.

"It'll have to," she responded, not looking to Thor, looking ahead instead, into the future where she imagined herself finally back to the way she was before, "the powers make me who I am."

"I disagree," Thor admitted, doing so with a heavy heart as he felt like he was breaking apart the only defence she had against what was happening to her, "it is not my powers that mak- made me worthy to wield Mjolnir…" It was hard for Thor to get the words out as he was still troubled by what he'd been going through, but he persevered through the self-doubt for his friend, for Amelia Stark, someone he believed was worthy. "It is-"

Rumbles were cast across the ground, the building beginning to shake and it had both the God and the ex-assassin letting go of one another's hand and standing up, their eyes turning sharp. They'd become different people from the ones who had moments ago been embracing.

Steve, who had been sat silently in the room with Rocket, had immediately stood up after the building began to shake. Rocket seemed to share the soldier's impulses as he checked out what was happening through the buildings AI systems (which had been pretty basic to him). Once he'd informed Steve of what was happening, the blond had run into the room, approaching his wife and securing her in a hold so she didn't falter due to the shakiness. "Amelia," he'd called as he entered.

"Steve, what's happening?" The brunette questioned as her hands automatically rested on his biceps to steady herself.

"Something's just entered the atmosphere," he explained, repeating the exact words Rocket had said to him.

Thor and Amelia looked at him with twin stares, both of them ready to face Thanos, both of them still holding tightly onto ideas of revenge. Thor moved first, leaving the room easily whilst Amelia had to use Steve for support during their journey.

It took a while but they eventually managed to exit the building, entering the large field outside. There was nothing to see at first, but then a blinding light filled the sky. At first, Amelia thought it was the sun but she quickly realised that it was far too late at the night for such a thing to happen. She forced her eyes to focus on the light, fighting the way they burned.

Eventually, she was able to make out the silhouette of a figure carrying on their back a moderately sized spaceship.

"What, or who, is that?" She questioned, waiting for someone to tell her it was Thanos, waiting to clench her fists, waiting to attack.

Nat approached, acting much calmer than the brunette was feeling. "Did Steve tell you about Carol Danvers?" Amelia nodded her head in response, recalling the short conversation they'd had on who her brothers' rescuer was before they had their makeshift wedding. Natasha turned back to the light, smirking slightly as the figure began to lower the spaceship to the ground. "That's her."

It didn't even register at first what the figure of light was gifting her with, what weight the angel was carrying on her back. Not until the ship was down and the doors were opening, not until two figures began to wander out of the spaceship, one blue-hued figure carrying someone that looked very familiar. "It's-" Amelia couldn't even finish her words as she collapsed to the floor, forgetting for a second her own condition as she wanted so desperately to see her brothers. Her brother. That was who was walking out of the spaceship. Her brother who she hadn't seen in far too many years.

"He's okay," she mumbled as Steve helped her stand back up. He noted that her tone was more like she was reassuring herself, so he also assisted with getting her over to Tony as soon as possible.

The moment their eyes met felt like how the first time should have been.

Tony had always hated how he'd reacted when they first reunited, but that moment there was their retribution, their second chance. He did not waste it, and neither did she. Emotions surged up through her so powerfully, for a single second, she was powerful again, powerful enough to rush over to her brother who had opened up his arms. He spread them, gently pushing the blue figure aside and the two of them just held each other.

Like brother's and sister's should, they kept one another together.

The past had no place in that moment, all their arguments, what she'd done, what he'd done, none of it mattered because all that belonged then was how grateful they were to have each other. It was sickening really, how the only good thing they could find then was how grateful they were to have _at least_ one person not be gone. But it was all they had to hold onto, it was the only thing that could keep many humans carrying on on that night.

"Tony, I'm so sorry," the words spewed out almost immediately, as though they'd been waiting years to be said to him. She moved her head, almost bowing to him as she pressed her forehead against his chest, tears beginning to fall. "I'm so, so, sorry."

She wasn't just talking about what had happened to them because of Thanos.

Tony knew immediately what she was talking about. The fact that she'd left him, the way she'd allowed him to blame himself for the death of her child, the way she'd always chosen Steve.

Tony had grown a lot over the past few years as well, and he had many words of his own he wanted to say to her, but then was not the time. He was too tired for such a conversation. And simply too happy to find that she hadn't become bits of dust in the air. In some ways he wasn't even surprised, she'd always been quite _impossible_.

"It's good to see you again Mia," he mumbled, kissing her forehead gently, closing his eyes and wishing that they could have always been that way together.

The moment was interrupted by an unexpected guest, a teenage girl, that had bounded from the spaceship and shoved her shoulder against Tony as she stormed forward, fists clenched at her sides to the point where her nails were digging into her hands. Tony looked up and, whilst leaning against his sister for support, reached out one hand towards the teen, "Alice, wait-"

At the sound of his words she whipped around, showing off an unbidden rage that threatened to collapse entire planets. "Fuck you." The words had shocked everyone, even Carol Danvers was looking to the girl with wide eyes and an open mouth. Everyone could only watch though, not able to understand the situation well enough considering they had no idea who the girl was. "Don't try and follow me, don't try and get in contact with me, I am _done_ with you," the girl, Alice, warned before stomping off into the distance.

Tony's eyes fell to the floor, pained, whilst Amelia continued to watch. In the distance, Pepper made an attempt to stop the girl but as she was reaching out she pulled her hand back before they made skin-to-skin contact, as though the girl had somehow harmed her without even touching her.

"Who was that?" The brunette mumbled, looking back to her brother and becoming even more curious she saw how much more broken he seemed after the interaction.

"She's my- She's supposed to be-" He struggled to find the right words, his shoulders slumped, and he gave up with a shake of his head. "It doesn't matter."

"Why was she so angry with you?" Amelia continued, the few words Tony had actually managed to get out making strange ideas pop up in her mind that she wanted to rid of as soon as possible. There was no way, that girl, that Alice, couldn't possibly have been-

"Because I couldn't stop him, I couldn't-" Tony's mourning words drew her attention, revealing another pain that Amelia was actually very familiar with. She wasn't able to stop Thanos either.

"Neither could we," Steve spoke up, raising a hand and clapping it on Tony's shoulder. It was strange how Amelia's heart skipped as she watched the bit of contact, waiting to see Tony swat her husband's hand away, but he never did. It gave her a little bit of hope for other things, things that she acknowledged shouldn't have been so important. She just wanted a proper family, one that included both her brother and her husband.

Tony did look over at the hand, and his eyes began to water. Such a familiar touch, so friendly. The same way his sister's hug had been. But did he even deserve it? "I lost the kid," he admitted, meeting Steve's eyes for just a second before he couldn't even bare it. The weight on his shoulders, it was too much, and even after twenty-one days roaming empty space, he still had no idea how to carry it.

"Not forever," Amelia chimed, being as positive as she had been for the past day, refusing to back down to the darkness, "we'll get him back."

But when Tony looked at her then, she realised that perhaps he'd given into it, the emptiness, the truth, the darkness. "Will we?"

* * *

 **A/N: SO FUNNY STORY! Up until last night, I was positive that I'd uploaded this chapter, but then I looked at the reviews and was suspicious to find they were all still on the previous chapter... I'm sorry. I'm lame, I know! I don't even feel like the chapter is worth the wait I've put y'all through, I'm so sorry!**

 **To 17 Daybreak, I acknowledged everyone who reviews cause they deserve it for taking the time out of their day to let me know how I've been ^^ Thank you for your kind words and I'm glad you made it all the way here! I hope you enjoy the final part of this story.**

 **To ReidsLittleGenius213, ahaha that seems to be the consensus.**

 **To supernaturallover1098, thank you so much! And I'm starting to feel like the smuts gonna happen.**

 **To Ironheart, I can't kill her (yet) there's so much we need to happen, she needs to talk to her bro first of all! I'm unfortunately not gonna write stuff up for the five year break, it would be a waste of time as I'm sure we want to get into the story as soon as possible, but there will however be flashbacks. So yknow, if there's ought you want to see let me know :)**

 **To d'elfe, hello again! Aha, you're very welcome, thanks for being back yourself. I'm glad to know you liked the sort of wedding scene.**

 **To shugokage, thank you very much!**

 **To LoveFiction2019, thank you!**

 **To SnowPaws101Reverie, ahaha yessss long reviews are so nice! I get what you mean with the powers thing so don't worry, you express yourself just fine. And that's very nice of you to help your friends out, even if sometimes it doesn't work out. I'd be way too shy myself, even if it was for a friend aha. Personally, I think there are already many words that mean love, it all depends on the way the words are used in my mind ^^ 'I can't wait for when Tony comes back' I'M SO SORRY I HAD THE CHAPTER WAITING HERE ALL ALONG I THOUGHT I UPLOADED IT I'M SO SO SORRY! And as for Amelia's story, as you can see from the little Alice character randomly thrown in here, I plan on doing other projects that connect in this universe (I feel like I should call it the chaos universe), Amelia might appear in the other projects and perhaps after I'm done with my Bucky/OC and my spideyman/OC (and maybe a doctor strange/OC or a Thor/OC, but I have barely any ideas for those unlike my Bucky and spidey one) I might do a sort of penultimate story featuring all three of my OC's and their bae's, but don't hold me to that, it's something I want to do but it'll take a loooooong time. AND JUST FYI I cried to my friend about how nice your words were and how you made me feel like an actually good writer for a moment.**

 **To OfSeashellsandStars, yus, it might not be official but Amelia doesn't care, Steve is now her hubbie! And the meetings coming soon!**

 **To Assbitch67... what? WHAT? W H A T?! AIHDGLHGU OH MY GOD WHEN WHY WHERE WHO WHAT HOW HELLO GOODBYE HELP... I think I'm crashing OH MY GOD I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU! I'LL GIVE YOU YOUR DOG ALIVE AS A WEDDING PRESENT AHAH OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDD MESSAGE ME DETAILS IMMEDIATELY1!**

 **And just fyi to everyone, Alice (who's name I got from the above reviewer) is my OC who will feature in a currently untitled Spiderman OC. I'm sure this isn't the best introduction but you'll understand when I get to the point in my spidey fic aha.**

 **A BIG THANKS TO EVERYONE THAT READ (and waited two whole weeks for this damn update golly gosh i feel so bad)**


	130. Chapter One-Hundred and Twenty-Two

**CHAPTER ONE-HUNDRED AND TWENTY-TWO**

* * *

"Snowflakes are one of nature's most fragile things, but just look at what they can do when they stick together."

― **Vesta M. Kelly**

* * *

"It's been twenty-three days since Thanos came to earth," Rhodey explained to all of the people in the room. Amelia, Tony, Steve, Natasha, Carol, Thor, Rocket, himself. The words were said with a heavy heart and they were received by something similar.

Amelia was stood by Steve's side. Really, all she wanted was to be held in Steve's arm, but she was too afraid to be so open with their relationship as everything felt so fragile now that her brother was back with them. She wanted to explain everything to him, but only after they had a conversation about what had occurred after Steve's break-up.

Being in the lit setting didn't help. They'd spent the night making sure that Tony was getting the best possible medical care and then moved to the living area rather quickly, too quickly for her liking. Tony hadn't even gotten used to being back on planet Earth, yet they were already starting the discussion of Thanos. But at the same time, she hadn't done anything to stop the conversation from happening as she felt bringing everyone back took priority over everyone's wellbeing.

She'd been healing, getting a bit more energy into her body through the means of a stale sandwich and plenty of water. It wasn't as good as the pancakes they'd had on her stress-free day with Steve, but it was good enough to keep her going.

Tony, on the other hand, looked like he needed much more than just a sandwich. Amelia couldn't even look at him, nor could she look at the holograms which switched from image to image, showing all of the comrades they'd lost. Her eyes were fixed on Steve's feet, reminding herself that though they weren't touching, though he wasn't holding her hand, he was there and he was giving her strength. Just like the sandwich, it was good enough to keep her going.

"World governments are in pieces," Natasha continued, "and the parts that are still working are trying to take a census and it looks like he did…" Her voice cracked, showing emotion that she could not refrain. It really brought home to the team how devastating what had happened truly was if even the Black Widow couldn't lock away her emotions. Amelia wished she could provide her best friend with some comfort, but everything was hurting, her heart, her brain, her veins, her soul, her bones. She felt just as fragile as Natasha had sounded, like any movement would break her. "he did exactly what he said he was going to do, Thanos wiped out 50% of all living creatures."

The news received silence in response. It wasn't like the news was sinking in for anyone, they all knew it. Even Tony, who had been stuck in endless space, had figured out that much. The silence was made up of guilt and guilt alone, everyone in that room felt responsible for what had happened.

Tony - who was sat in a wheelchair, IV drip stuck into his arm - rested his chin into his hand, sunken eyes staring forwards at the table, not seeing a bright future, only seeing a boy far too young being disintegrated into nothing. "Where is he now? Where?" The broken man asked, his aggressive tone making it very clear what he expected. Nothing.

After returning back to Earth, Amelia had noticed his ever-souring mood. After their embrace when he returned, it seemed the effects of being back with his familiars had faded and reality had set in.

Really, she didn't know how she'd expected him to deal with everything. She'd hoped for hope, it was certainly what she'd tried to make all of her friends feel after returning herself, but Tony seemed to be fighting off such notions, only concentrating on the bleak cost of their failure and what it truly meant.

"We don't know," Steve spoke up, as per usual, choosing to lead the conversation. "He just opened a portal and walked through."

Amelia revisited the memory herself. That moment, it had been so _quiet_. She'd been so caught up in the pain in her chest, a pain which didn't make sense until then. It was the space stone, so worn out, clutching onto all the power Amelia had to keep itself going. If it hadn't been for Gran, she definitely wouldn't have made it, which made her question how she'd survived the second spurt. Hopefully, Bruce would be able to supply some answers. The reason he wasn't in that meeting was because he was searching for the second blast of power, but it was going to take time. There was a lot of space outside of their planet, Amelia knew that because of her powers, Tony knew that from experience.

Tony sighed at the conclusion Steve had given him, wishing that the fight had had a more penultimate ending after all he'd done to fight the Titan. It hurt him to image the life-destroyer getting away so easily. He couldn't even look at the soldier then, instead, he looked anywhere else, his covered eyes eventually finding the God who was still hiding himself inside of a room away from everyone else. "What's wrong with him?"

"He's pissed," Rocket explained, feeling deja vu as he did so. "He thinks he failed." The creature was more aware than anyone else in that room after spending a day with Thor before the final battle. He'd listened to Thor's woes, felt his grief, experienced his desire for vengeance. "Which of course he did, but there's a lot of that goin' around, ain't there?"

Tony looked at the raccoon with furrowed brows, slowly taking in the fact that the creature had spoken with understandable words. Unlike Amelia, he didn't ignore that fact. "Honestly, until this exact second, I thought you were a Build-A-Bear."

"Maybe I am," Rocket proclaimed, not truly understanding what Tony was saying to him but choosing to give an abrasive response anyway.

"We've been hunting Thanos for three weeks now," Steve interrupted, redirecting the conversation, "deep space scans, and satellites, and we've got nothing." He looked to the billionaire then, clearly wishing that he didn't have to, clearly wishing that he didn't have to make the already suffering man endure any more than he had to. That was what they'd come to though. That was what Thanos had driven them to. "Tony, you fought him-"

The billionaire's eyes snapped over to the soldiers with a questioning expression on his face, for a second they looked to Amelia, analysing the way she was stood cross-armed, her body leaning towards the man as though she was trying to give him warmth from an uncomfortable distance. It didn't hit at first, Tony was too taken by the words Steve had chosen. "Who told you that?" The word 'fought' implied that they'd been equal enough to have a battle, Tony couldn't see that, all he could see was the loss that had been due to his weakness.

"I saw it," Amelia said, speaking for the first time since they'd entered that room. She'd been listening so carefully, trying to take in everything, and trying to push out all the things she didn't want to see, like her brother who was barely the man she remembered. "I have- _had_ , a connection with the space stone that allowed me to see through it. I- I saw you fight him." It was one of the only memories clear in her head from before she sacrificed herself. It was the vision of her brother sacrificing himself that had inspired her to finally do the same.

"Oh, so then you saw how he wiped my face with a planet while a Bleeker Street magician gave away the stone?" He countered, reading from her words only lies. Tony's hands began to twitch and he tried his best to ignore it, using the need for movement by adjusting the dressing gown which was far too large to fit his meagre figure. He hadn't actually realised how much weight he'd lost until he'd returned home and found _everything_ was different, including himself. "That's what happened," he recalled, fist tightening against his own skin, digging into it, as though he was punishing himself. "There was no fight."

"Okay," Steve responded simply, his own prejudice showing their true colours as he just nodded his head, taking Tony's semantics without any care. He understood where Tony was coming from after trying to fight Thanos himself, having even littler success than the billionaire.

"He was unbeatable," the billionaire continued, sounding insulted by what they'd propositioned.

"Did he give you any clues?" The soldier continued, looking to the mission.

Meanwhile, Amelia looked to the humanity her brother was showing, the vulnerability he was disguising in anger. "Steve," she whispered, reaching out with a hand towards him, not daring to touch him in case it revealed anything to Tony who had already had to take in a lot of news.

But Steve was already speaking over her, "any coordinates, anything?"

"Steve please, just take it easy on him," Amelia requested, louder than last time. Her husband finally looked over to her, showing no expression with his facial features as he found himself torn. Tony was clearly in an unhelpful mood, but to solve what had happened, they needed whatever information the billionaire was able to supply. He would have continued, but then he thought back to their vows, to their promises, and he clamped his mouth shut. He would respect her, he would support her.

"Are you two a thing again?" Tony questioned, pointing between them. As hard as his sister might have tried, the signs were very noticeable. Considering how they'd left things off, and how she'd reacted when Steve left, he wouldn't have expected her to have been able to even stand close to him, let alone request that he be civil with her brother. They were _too_ close. "Because I'm going to need some warning if I've got to put up with you two dating again."

He had to remind himself that their break-up, and subsequently the destruction of the relationship he had with his own remaining family member, wasn't his fault, and it wasn't the first time he'd needed to remind himself of such a fact. Tony had done everything he could, supplied her with a home to live in, offered his support, told her that he loved her, and she'd refused every bit of his help and offered comforts. Amelia didn't want him, she only ever wanted Steve. That didn't make him the bad guy though. He wasn't the villain, all he'd ever truly done was try and protect her. That was what the years apart from her had taught him. The years, Pepper, Happy and a couple of therapists.

"Tony, I know you've been through a lot," Mia began, taking a step forward and surprising herself with how easy it was to do so. She just didn't know if it was because her brother needed her, or because she was finally getting used to the simple human strength that she was possessing after having her powers taken away.

"No Mia, I haven't _been through it_ ," Tony corrected, spitting through his teeth, "I am living it, we all are."

"And we'll survive it," she nodded her head meagrely.

"How, together?" He phrased it like a joke, because that was exactly how he saw it. When he was with Bruce, getting the IV drip forced into his arm, he'd thought over a lot of stuff, like what had happened, and why. "I saw this coming a few years back, I had a vision, do you remember that Mia? While you pushed it aside, concentrating on your mess of a relationship, I couldn't forget a single moment of it." He raised his hand, pressing it against his face, feeling only stubble and skin, the remnants of who he was. "I didn't want to believe it, I thought I was dreaming."

Steve stood up then, no longer leaning against the table as he needed answers, he needed to save people. Not because he was a soldier. Because it was the only way for the world to go back to normal, for everyone to be safe enough for him to put aside his shield and go live a fulfilled life with Amelia Stark. "Tony, I'm going to need you to focus."

"And I needed you, the _both_ of you," he responded back swiftly. It was almost as though for the past years he'd prepared the exact words that he'd wanted to say to the both of them. "As in past tense, that trumps what you need," Tony waved his hand dismissively to the pair, "it's too late, buddy."

Amelia's face tightened at his words, but her eyes turned softer, misinterpreting Tony's rage as a product of what Thanos had done, not what _she'd_ done. "Please don't do this."

"Do what, sis?" He looked at her with an almost-smile, the kind of smile wildfires bared. "Abandon you after you've just lost someone, after you've lost your friends? Make you feel guilty? Make you feel like this entire thing, this _death_ , is your fault? It hurts doesn't it?"

He didn't need to expand any further on what he said, Amelia was able to connect every dot the same way Steve was able to recognise every constellation her freckles created. What Tony had said was cruel, the words a product of malice born from trauma, not from his actual heart.

"Hey," the soldier called out, his voice raising an octave and his body ignoring the way Amelia's palm pressed against his chest, "you're crossing the line, Tony."

He'd been there from the start as well. He was there when Tony first met his sister, and he'd endured every painful moment with Amelia, as well as every moment of growth. He'd seen the way Amelia fell apart after seeing her brother harmed through her connection with the space stone, so seeing Amelia's brother treat her in such a way infuriated him enough to make him look past the forgiveness he felt he needed to beg for from the billionaire.

"Steve, it's fine," Amelia cooed.

"I deserve it."

It was as simple as that. If she were to deny it then it would make her look like an idiot, and it would for Steve as well. She had hurt Tony in impossible ways, abandoned him just as he lost his team whilst going through struggles with his family. Even after acknowledging all of that all of those years ago, she'd allowed him to harbour the burden of her lost child, making him feel like their death was because of him, and not because of her own idiocy. In this situation, Tony was the real victim, and she would not allow him to suffer anymore, not whilst she could do something about it.

"I'm not even going to bother asking for your forgiveness Tony, as much as I want it, I know I don't deserve it. But please understand, the person I was then isn't the person I am now." So much had happened, too much. "I shouldn't be asking you for anything, but I have no other choice, if you could just tell us anything of value, we need something-"

"You know what I need?" Out of both spite and anger, he reached out a hand and knocked over the bowl of dismal porridge aside. All he really wanted was a cheeseburger anyway. "I need to shave."

He stood up from his wheelchair, pretending like he wasn't falling apart. In his head, all he remembered was being a captive to the terrorists that had used his own weapons to create pain, the giant hole in the sky he'd flown a rocket through, the army of monsters he'd created. All he remembered was the times he'd been able to be strong. He could be strong, he had to be strong, the same way Amelia had to hope for light at the end of the tunnel. "And I believe I remember telling you-"

"Tony," Rhodey repeated the broken man's name as he stepped forward, holding onto his friend and keeping his friend standing, ripping the medical fluid from his veins. Rhodey was well aware of the billionaire's tendencies to pretend like he could handle the weight of everything all by himself.

Himself was all Tony had after his mother and father were assassinated and his sister was kidnapped, so he certainly didn't need 'Captain America' and a team of misfits behind him. It was all on him. He, was all he had.

"-That what we needed was a suit of armour around the world, remember that?" Tony persevered through the dizziness and sickness that overcame him as he continued to walk towards Cap. Amelia had stepped forward too, all on her own, just to raise her hands so she could keep her brother from making any more energy-wasting steps. All he saw it as was his sister once again choosing Steve Rogers over him. "Whether it impacted our precious freedoms, or not, that's what _we needed_."

"Well that didn't work out, did it?" Steve recalled solemnly, bringing back to everyone's memories the fight that really ended the Avengers.

"I said we'd lose," Tony responded back, "you said 'we'll do that together, too'."

"Well guess what, Cap? We lost." They'd lost. They'd lost so much. "You weren't there, none of you were."

His eyes flickered over to Amelia for just a second and she felt the weight of that glance crashing down on her like a meteor striking the Earth, a swift and penultimate sword destroying every layer of her being. "Tony, I'm sorry-"

"And I'm sorry too, because that's just not good enough for me anymore," he interrupted, blinded by all he had experienced _alone_.

"But I suppose this is what we do, right?" He continued, quickly recovering and becoming exactly who he used to be. Sarcastic, passive-aggressive, unlikeable. It was his precaution, his safety. "We argue, we fall apart, and then we do our best work after the fact?" He waved his hands around wildly, pointing to nothing in particular. "We're the Avengers, not the- the pre-vengers?"

"Okay, you made your point," Steve said, raising his hands in an attempt to calm down the billionaire who had lost far too much and was too caught up in his own self-pity to realise that he shared that position with every single person in that room.

"Tony, please just sit down," Amelia joined in, pushing once more against his chest but there was barely any strength put in her touch.

Tony placed his left hand on top of hers, patting against it as though he were petting some sort of witless animal. "Why don't you, you're looking pretty sick as well, why's that, hmm?" He'd noticed it straight away, the weakness that she'd displayed whilst trying to reach him, and through his aggression, he'd decided to target it carelessly. With his right hand, he pointed over towards the blonde character that had stood silently and witnessed the entire argument without any expression, only showing her tears suspiciously when an image of Nick Fury appeared via the hologram whilst Nat was talking about how Thanos had killed off fifty-per cent on the universe. "Is she your replacement? She's pretty good, we could definitely use her on the team." She was the one who'd saved him after all.

There had been so many nights when he'd stare into space, remembering Amelia's eyes and begging for her to appear and take him back home. There had been _so many nights_ when all he'd wanted was his sister, but she'd never been there.

When he'd seen that light, at first, he'd believed it _was_ her.

Really, the realisation that it wasn't her and that it could never have been her, was what drove home to him the fact that she never had been there for him in the same way he always had.

"Tony, sit down," Rhodey demanded once more, attempting one more intervention and feeling quite embarrassed as he did so. It had been so long since Tony had behaved in such a way, and whilst he could understand why his best friend had gone back to his old ways, it definitely broke his heart to see it.

"We're just a bunch of tired old mills," the billionaire pushed aside his friend, pushed aside his sister, all so that he could stare down the soldier that had been on his back ever since the start of the Avengers. Steve had always wanted too much for him, always demanded that he be more than he could ever be. "I've got _nothing_ for you."

"Tony-" Amelia called once more, one last time, trying to ease the argument. It had been so much easier when she had her powers, when she was able to drive away the pair so they weren't in each other's faces using her telekinesis.

His eyes snapped to her dull brown ones. They weren't even the same colours as his, they were just dark brown, like the leaves of a plant that had withered. "What, you want to take his side _again_?"

Amelia said nothing as she had no idea how to respond to such a statement. She didn't want Steve to struggle, but she also didn't want her brother to. She just wanted peace, and Amelia didn't really know how to get that anymore. They normally won when they were together, but it didn't look like that was going to happen anytime soon.

"I've got nothing." He turned back to Steve, his words bearing more than could ever truly be understood. "No coordinates, no clues, no strategies, no options, zero, zip, nada." He held up both hands the same way criminals held up their hands to police officers to show that they were giving in. He was making it clear that he had no fight left in him. "No trust, you _liars._ " He made a point to sharpen every significant word and when he called Steve and Amelia liars, the brunette felt it pierce her deep in her core.

When he raised his hand even higher she half expected an attack, but only because that was what she felt she deserved. Instead of doing so, Tony clutched the core on his chest. "Here, take this." He pulled it off of himself and handed it over to Amelia, shoving it into her hands like a piece of trash he couldn't wait to get rid of.

He looked the brunette in her eyes, his brown eyes as empty as her own. "You find him and you put that on and you hide," he warned, his one last request to the sister he would have once upon a time given up _everything_ to keep safe. His eyes gestured to the soldier for one second. "Do what you've always done, and follow him to the grave, _your_ grave. "

With those words he collapsed to the ground, his body automatically tipping forward and though Amelia tried to capture him she was unable to hold up even his lessened weight.

"Tony," Steve cried out, calling his name to try and make sure he was still conscious of his whereabouts.

The billionaire swatted away everyone's hands. He didn't need them. He was Tony Stark. Billionaire, genius, playboy, philanthropist. Survivor of terrorists, of Ivan Antonovich Vanko, of Loki, of the Mandarin, of Ultron, of Thanos. He didn't need anyone but himself.

"I'm fine, I-" His words were cut short as his entire body gave up and he collapsed down in an uncomfortable position, completely unconscious.

* * *

 **A/N: Hola, I remembered to upload this weekend, are you proud of me?**

 **I've had a super horrible week so it was quite nice writing Amelia, sometimes I forget how therapeutic her character can be to write.**

 **To 17Daybreak, please, it's the least I can do after people take the time out of their day to leave me reviews. And lol you should have paced, because now you're going to be waiting weeks at a time for the next chapter. Still, I'm really grateful that you stuck around! Hope you enjoyed this chapter as well.**

 **To LoveFiction2019, thank you ^^**

 **To BuckyBarnes07, thank youuuuuuu, I really think Amelia and Thor's relationship is one of the most affected things in this part and I love the dynamic and moments they get.**

 **To shugokage, thanks so much!**

 **To STTNBC, thank you ^^ and idk, I'm not really a fan of it myself unless it's like amazingly written. So I guess that's got to be my aim, to read smut I'd read myself aha.**

 **To Assbitch67, YOU'RE ENGAGGGEEEEDDDDD OH MY GOD I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOUUUUUU! YOU ROCKING LIFE BITCH! GO YOU! Even Amelia would be jealous of you right now aha. Also, lol, you were very right to be worried.**

 **To SnowPaws101Reverie, Alice is a bundle of surprises even the internet couldn't supply answers for aha. And no, Amelia and Thor are friends, but not in the same way Steve and Thor are friends. In this part you'll see a lot of development between the two as they're both in the exact same position where they believed saving the world relied on their shoulders alone, and then they failed tremendously. Also, with regards to Rocket, I really thought the movie missed out on a lot of character development with him, he lost his entire family and he was just... the science racoon. AND STOP APOLOGISING FOR TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IT'S FINE, you're a human being with a story and that's perfectly okay.**

 **And a big thank you to everyone that simply read the chapter, see you later :)**


	131. Chapter One-Hundred and Twenty-Three

**CHAPTER ONE-HUNDRED AND TWENTY-THREE**

* * *

"Being positive doesn't mean pretending everything's fine when it's not. It's about acknowledging that things are not fine, but knowing you can get through it and come out better, stronger and wiser."

― **Unknown**

* * *

 _Be fine_.

That's what Amelia ordered herself whilst gripping the porcelain of the bathroom sink, wishing it was something more fragile, something she could sink her nails into and extinguish the self-hatred that seemed to be hugging her so tightly in the most horrible of ways. She wanted to rid herself of the burden, but that didn't seem possible. The only thing, the only solution, was to ignore it, to _be fine_.

In one hand she held the device Tony had given her, threatening to crush it, if only she'd had the strength.

After Tony collapsed and was taken to the Avengers' infirmary, she'd had no choice but to remove herself from the group. She couldn't let them see the weakness that was beginning to pour out of every pore, like she was just a fragile plastic bag, easily cut apart.

In front of them, she wanted to look like adamantium.

But alone, she was paper. The weakness didn't pour from holes, it seeped out of her like sweat. Just like how the human body was 60% water, she was 60% weak. And that was the part she was trying to hide, covering herself with the 40% that was able to be strong and happy and somewhat _fine_. When that battle became too hard, she stepped backwards and left to the public bathroom, not bothering to lock the door as she thought that everyone would be too busy ensuring that Tony was okay whilst she unravelled.

Beating herself up further for not being next to her brother. She was so confused. She wanted to be with her brother more than ever but clearly she'd created irreparable damage. He didn't want her at his side, ever, and it was too late for her to fix that.

Everyone was too busy, except for one person. The one person who always seemed to be able to help.

"Freckles," Steve Roger's called from outside of the bathroom door, his fist tapping gently against the metal frame. He'd decided not to just wander into the bathroom in case she was using the space for its actual purpose. Steve had his suspicions that she wasn't after seeing the expression on her face as she slipped from the room unnoticed by everyone else, her lips bending downward and her eyebrows furrowed as she tried to fight against the sadness which overtook her expression.

She knew the question that waited on his tongue, and she knew the answer she had to give. Not just to him, but to everyone.

If anyone asked her how she was then, there was only one truthful answer she could give. Amelia wasn't okay, she felt a darkness inside of her that she hadn't experienced for years, it mummified her, like wool across her mouth it silenced her truths. 'I'm fine' is the only words she'd be able to say, and they wouldn't even be her own words.

"I'm fine," she immediately responded back, her nails creating an uncomfortable scraping noise as they tightened even further. If she'd had her powers, the sink wouldn't exist anymore, the building might not have even survived either.

Her response had been too quick, and cracked far too much for just two words. He'd been given his answer, even if Amelia gave it unintentionally. "I know," he responded, feeling reassured enough by her response to enter the bathroom.

The sight before him broke his heart completely. Not irreparably. Just enough to cause a grotesque ache in his chest that seemed incurable. Amelia was hunched over the bathroom sink, her fingers pale white and her eyes shut, incapable to look in the mirror in front of her as though the very sight would destroy her.

She hadn't really looked like herself ever since getting her powers taken away. Her eyes had been so bland, not because they lacked the stars he was used to seeing, but because they were absent of any light at all, they were just a drab brown, the same colour leaves turned when at the end of their life cycle. Her olive skin had lightened too, her freckles so much more clear, but somehow no longer possessing the constellations he was used to. The heart on her cheek that he was always able to find had become fractured, broken pieces spread out all across her face, taking no recognizable shape.

"You can go, you should be seeing to Tony, I really am fine," she reprimanded, her tone no longer wobbly as she put every bit of energy that she'd gained into each syllable. Amelia was fine, not because she _was_ , but because she had to be.

"Freckles," he called out again, using the nickname that always brought her back to happier, simpler, times. "I know," Steve said the words in a way that suggested deeper meaning. He stepped closer, close enough to hold out his arms and touch her shoulder, the only suggestion that she seemed to need as her body automatically turned and fell against his.

His body, her shield.

"I'm fine," Amelia repeated, but the words came out so wobbly that it was clear to the both of them that it was nothing but a lie. There was no other option by that point, the truth was already out in the open. As much as she wanted to be, Amelia Stark was not fine. She finally revealed her truth as she nuzzled into his shoulder further, "I wish I could be more like you, everyone out there needs me to be strong but I can barely keep it together, I'm not- I'm not strong enough."

"Hey," he cooed, gentle but also demanding, "I mean this in the nicest way possible, but, shut up." He realised the demand might have been too cruel for the moment they were sharing, but it was important that everyone understood how protective Steve was to Amelia, even against herself. "You are strong, you're one of the strongest people I know, crying doesn't make you weak in any way."

Immediately the brunette began to shake her head. No, she was not strong. She was just a fake. A liar. "I'm telling everyone to be hopeful whilst I feel so hopeless," she continued, choosing to ignore his words because they opposed the dark thoughts crawling like centipedes across the empty space of her own brain, there were so many of them, how could she possibly defy them? "Tony, I- I don't know how to fix what I've done to him, and I definitely don't know how to fix what Thanos has done."

"And you think any of us do?" He chuckled, pulling his head and shoulders back so that he could attempt to look at her eyes, "I learnt a long time ago that the best way to measure someone's strength isn't by their victories, it's by how they handle their losses."

How could she not see it? He wondered. She was so strong, the strongest person _he_ knew.

She could have grown cold, but instead she chose to be courageous, just as she was then. She could have given up many times, but she kept going, whether it be for him or for the world, it didn't matter, all that mattered was she had the strength to keep going. She could have seen only obstacles, but instead all she saw was adventures, sometimes at his side, sometimes entirely on her own. She could have called them weeds, but instead she called them wildflowers. She could have died a caterpillar, but instead she fought on to be a butterfly. She could have denied herself goodness after Pierce, after her inner battles, after all the enemies, after him, but instead she chose to show herself some self-love. She could have defined herself by all the dark days they, as heroes, were fated to experience, but instead through them, she realised her own light.

The stars in her eyes didn't matter, because they held nothing against the starlight which erupted from her own heart, at least in his eyes.

"Do you remember what I said after we'd first met?" He mumbled, pulling her back against himself pressing his lips against her head and resting there for a moment. "That, sometimes fear isn't there to stop us-"

"Sometimes it's there to drive us forward," she recalled, visiting that memory and remembering how dark she'd felt back then. Even though she'd dealt with the issues that had brought her to such a darkness, Amelia was able to recall that they seemed as big as her current problems, back then. Even if it didn't seem as bad anymore, she'd still felt exactly like she did then. That had to count for something.

The things from her past that had seemed impossible to be resolved, had been vanquished. Perhaps she'd be able to do the same with the current impossible problem.

That had to mean that her current problem should be met with exactly the same mindset which Steve had gifted her. The first lesson Steve had given her which made her realise she could be more than her mind allowed to think. Her heart was so much more right.

"It went something like that, yeah," he agreed, nodding his head as his arms wrapped around her back, rising up halfway to her shoulders, holding her body against his in a way that comforted him too. They weren't leaning against each other, wanting to be held up by the other.

At that moment they were both standing, tall and proud, able to present themselves without any care of the consequences.

Amelia was finally able to look up, revealing her bland brown eyes, the whites red after being irritated by salt-water tears. "I love you so much, Steve." Every word was heartfelt, spoken from the core, representing how grateful she was to have someone like him there when she couldn't fathom continuing.

"I love you too," he responds, the truth was glaringly obvious. He'd thought he'd known love before, but such a phosphorous emotion hadn't become clear until he met her, until she'd melted away all of his layers, all of his walls, and reached a part of him which he'd had to battle all on his own. Amelia Stark was his comrade, his partner in crime, his wife. "And if it helps, the only reason I'm able to handle all of this right now is because of you, you keep me going, Amelia."

She looked at him and smiled genuinely, beginning to recognise that her hope wasn't inside of her, it was by her side in Steve's form. He was her reason to keep going, he was her strength, or, he was her reason to recognise the strength she had in herself and water it enough until it became mighty.

"That does help a little bit," Amelia responded, acting as though she was thinking out loud. It was a joke, a moment of joy, an attempt of sarcasm which was another thing that she'd learnt from him.

Whilst she thought about what he'd just helped her battle without her expecting him to, she also thought about what he'd faced. Her brother, torn apart, leaking out only aggression, choosing Steve to be the enemy. The device Tony had handed her still burnt her palm, yet even after her conversation with Tony, she couldn't bring herself to release it or destroy it.

"Are you okay though? Tony went hard on you in there," she questioned.

"I'm about as fine as you are right now," he responded, shrugging his shoulders. He was used to Tony's behaviour after meeting him on their first ever mission as the 'Avengers'.

"I'm sorry," Amelia continued to apologise, looking down to the floor.

"Don't be, it's not your fault and it's not even Tony's, we're just going through difficult times right now," Steve admonished, moving on quickly to the reason he thought was partly why Amelia had been falling apart all alone in that bathroom, "I'm sorry for how I behaved around Tony, I know you want us to get along but-"

"I know, it's pretty impossible when he's in those sorts of moods," the brunette interrupted. It wasn't right that her soldier feel guilty when it was truly all her fault. Tony's negativity wouldn't have existed if she'd done her duty as Tony's sister and actually been there for him when he needed her. Instead, all she'd done was push him to be there for her. Still, her hands gripped Steve's shoulders "just promise me you won't stop trying?"

That was the dream, the best case scenario, the concept-that-was-too-good-to-be-true. Her family. Amelia, Steve, their children, Tony, Pepper, and their children.

Steve lifted one arm and reached out to brush aside a part of her hair. "I don't need to promise, I've already promised you a family and there's no doubt in my mind Tony will be included in that," he revealed, warming her heart up so much that Amelia became concerned it might melt. Their thoughts were so similar sometimes.

"Thank you," she replied, once again pressing her head against his shoulder and allowing herself to remain there for a single second, pretending that they were back at their house which he'd built. The single second went far too quickly as the pressures of the reality they were experiencing then weighed on her shoulders. "As nice as this moment is, I need to go make sure my brother's okay."

"That's fine, we'll be having plenty more nice moments once this is all over, okay?" His response was meant to be more of a reminder so that she'd know he still meant his promise, not just with Tony, but with everything. Once they were done with Thanos they'd have a proper wedding where all of their friends and families would be included, and then they'd go back to their home and raise a family.

"Okay." she agreed with a determined nod.

Amelia released his body, letting go of the defence he'd given her not only physically, but also emotionally. On instinct, he reached out towards her but she pushed aside the arm he offered and shook her head. "You don't need to help me, I'm starting to feel much better."

"Good," he smiled genuinely whilst dropping his arm, "I'm glad."

He really was. Whilst he would always be there to take care of her whenever she needed him, it didn't prevent his heart from churning at the sight of her transforming back into her old self, a woman who didn't need anyone's help to stand on her own two feet.

Amelia paused, her pale brown eyes connecting with his summer sky blue eyes, feeling them reaching into her core.

He was always like that though, always able to see far deeper into her than most were able to see. There was something he could recognise, though she wasn't ever able to recognise it.

Steve could though, and that was enough. Whenever he looked at her, even from the first time they met when she was stood in the middle of the street pretending like she was the epitome of evil, he could recognise that there was something more in her. Even when she thought she was someone who didn't deserve love, even when she wanted to break her own heart because of that exact fact. People had always told her that she was one thing, but deep down she'd known she was meant for more, the same way he knew he was meant to be Captain America when the whole world was painting him as a lost cause.

It was special, the way he looked at her. And sometimes, it was just too much.

Amelia truly was hopelessly, irretrievably, in love with him, even when she thought that love was something she didn't deserve to feel. The way he felt for her was inescapable in the best way possible.

She released one of her hands from around his waist and pressed it against his large bicep in the form of a fist. "You need to stop doing that."

"Doing what?" He asked far too innocently.

"Looking at me that way," she explained.

His eyebrows furrowed as he tried to make sense of her words that were actually in fact very sensible. "You're gonna have to clarify," he ended on.

"You look at me with so much love sometimes that I barely know how to function." She responded honestly, feeling the same chill from all those years ago attempt to shrivel her spine, that chill that only ever arose when he looked at her like she was worth more than Pierce had taught her.

"I'm not going to apologise for that," he laughed, actually feeling overjoyed by her words because they revealed exactly what he'd hoped for. Steve had been able to give her the love she'd always deserved.

Amelia laughed too. "How rude."

Again, he shook his head, knowing that their shared moment was only going to lead to one thing. "Just give me a kiss, you idiot." Perhaps it hadn't actually been leading to that, but it was what he wanted more than anything, and considering how many times she kept looking down at his lips, it was what she wanted too.

"Idiot, I will have you know that I-"

He didn't care for any more words, all he cared for at that moment was her lips against his.

And when he tried to pull away, she proved that all she'd cared about was the exact same thing by following wherever his lips went.

They parted moments - maybe hours - later. Steve pressed his forehead against Amelia's. Both of their eyes were closed at first, and then they both chose to open their eyes at the same exact moment, their gazes saying everything words possibly couldn't. Even Shakespeare himself wouldn't have been able to describe the passionate love they felt for one another.

"You're doing it again."

"And I'm still not sorry."

If anyone asked her how she was then, there would only be one truth she could give. 'I'm better'. It wasn't final, it didn't promise a happy future, but it was better than just an 'I'm fine'. Whilst she might not be able to conjure up a glowing smile or a sunrise in her beating heart, she was at least able to recognise her dancing heartbeat and the static drumming her body and the _life_ that gave her thoughts and feelings and movement and soul. She wasn't 'fine', Amelia Stark was better than that, she was strong.

As she'd said she would, Amelia eventually managed to leave Steve's arms and wander out of the bathroom that had become her only safe space. Amelia immediately went to the Avenger's infirmary, only managing to reach outside of Tony's room before his best friend, Rhodey, spotted her and exited. Pepper was still in the room, exactly as she should be. Amelia knew that if Steve was in Tony's place, she wouldn't have been able to leave his side either.

"How is he, Rhodes?" Amelia asked, not even looking at him as she focused on her brother, trying to run her own fruitless diagnostic on his condition.

Other people were in the room, but she just didn't care. Whilst Steve greeted Nat and the newest addition, Carol Danvers; Amelia was simply focusing on her brother because he was all that mattered.

Rhodey crossed his arms over his chest, standing poised in front of the doorway. "Bruce gave him a sedative, he's gonna probably be out for the rest of the day." He didn't intend to come across as abrasive or protective. Rhodey just knew that the best thing for the both of them was to stay apart, whilst their paths had crossed before, everything had become so raw for Tony and Rhodey knew that his best friend couldn't handle _anything_ in a suitable mindset anymore. By being the bodyguard, he was protecting both of the Starks.

From the side of the group, Danvers had been watching quietly. She'd spent most of her day doing so. She had been to Earth a long time ago, long before such 'superheroes' had announced themselves so she'd needed some time to adjust. They were good, she had to give them that, but Danvers just didn't know if they were _good enough_. Perhaps if Fury was there, the only human she'd ever trusted, then she'd be able to put faith in the misfits before her. But seen as he wasn't, her mind had settled on one thing, bringing Fury back. "You guys take care of him," she called out, referencing the billionaire who slumbered peacefully (despite his earlier behaviour) in the white cotton bed, "and I'll bring a Bezurian elixir when I come back."

"Bezurian?" Amelia whispered under her breath, trying to figure out what the hell kind of race that was. She knew she'd been out of the loop for most of her life, but she'd thought she'd gotten acclimated. Was she really missing out on an entire race? How?

Steve looked down at his wife, hearing her mumblings and wanting to smile as he could practically see the cogs beginning to work in her mind as she tried to relate the words she'd heard to the facts she knew. He almost felt proud because, out of the two of them, he'd actually been able to identify something that was fake, or, at least, not of their world.

"Where are you going?" He asked of the mysterious hero he still hadn't gotten to know well enough to trust with his life.

"To kill Thanos," the woman said simply. Simply enough to through Steve and Amelia off. It wasn't an attempt to elucidate her intentions to the basics, it was just revealing how powerful she felt she was. Killing Thanos was no easy task to them, but to her, it was as easy twitching a finger.

Amelia would usually be impressed with such behaviour. Normally, she would encourage it, as it was the type of bravery she'd always wished she could possess in her earlier years. Yet, then, the brunette found her foot stomping on the ground, stopping the blonde powerhouse.

"Like hell you are," she reprimanded, not moving from her spot, almost determined. Amelia couldn't really understand why she was taking such a stance against the woman, though a twitch in her soul told her that it was jealousy. Danvers was new and powerful, the same way she had once been.

The blonde's head twitched to the side and that was the only indication that she'd actually heard Amelia's words as her expression remained completely passive. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me," Amelia continued, fists tightening, "there's no way you're going to kill Thanos, not alone." She simply couldn't allow it, not whilst her own hands were twitching to complete the destiny she felt she was owed.

Amelia Stark was meant to be the one to kill Thanos, why else had she survived up until that point? Other than Steve, her powers could only have been meant for one thing, to stop the most destructive chaos to step on their Earth.

"Trust me, I can handle him," Danvers scoffed, eyeing the brunette she'd been taking notes on ever since first spotting her, "and from what I can tell, I can handle him a lot better than you can right now."

Carol Danvers hadn't met Amelia when she came to Earth for the second time after being summoned by Fury, but she'd certainly heard talk about her. Everyone on the base had seemed so worried about the brunette, and also so hopeful that she'd survived. They'd whispered words about her strength, both in spirit and in mind. It was a little disappointing for Danvers when she finally came face to face with the legend that was Amelia Stark and find her only to be a limping, crying, _human_.

Amelia stepped forward affrontingly at the aliens words and, as per usual, Steve stepped in the way. He moved his body so he was in front of her and grabbed a hold of her hand so he could pull her back down to Earth. His eyes connected with Nat's and she knew what to do.

"Hey," the ex-super spy called out, approaching Danvers much friendlier than Amelia would have if Steve hadn't stopped her. Danver's stopped for Natasha, because even though she was human, she could at least stand on her own two feet. "You know, we usually work as a team here, and between you and I, morals a little fragile."

"We realise up there is more your territory," Steve added, his words benefitting Amelia's side as well, "but this is our fight, too."

"Do you even know where he is?" Rhodey questioned, his heart set on the fight as much as anyone else. Anyone on Earth was ready to face Thanos at that moment, but it was only the Avengers that were equipped to.

"I know people who might," Danvers supplied, ready to search out the entire galaxy as long as it meant she could make Thanos pay for what he'd pay.

"Don't bother," a voice cut into the conversation, a new voice, void of emotion and yet somehow full at the exact same time, "I can tell you where Thanos is."

"Why are there suddenly so many people I don't know?" Amelia huffed as she looked towards the blue alien that she couldn't recall seeing carrying Tony from the spaceship earlier as she'd simply been too enthralled with the presence of her brother.

All the new people she was meeting was quickly becoming too much. First a racoon, and now a humanoid covered in blue and reflective metal. What was next? A talking duck named Howard?

"My names Nebula," the alien introduced to the brunette, not recognising her physically, but able to spot a few attributes she'd heard a lot about from the man she'd been interacting with on the spaceship. "I believe I've just spent the past twenty-one days with your brother."

"You were with my brother?" Amelia stepped forward, pushing against Steve's arms which he'd dropped as he could sense more curiosity and gratefulness than fighting spirit from his wife. Images started revealing themselves in her head then of the blue creature walking out of the spaceship at her brother's side. That was almost enough to make her trust Nebula. "How come you know where Thanos is, then?"

Nebula should have known that they'd want to question it. Thanos was the one who'd torn them all apart, the same way he'd ripped all of physical parts and replaced them with robotics. Nebula supposed that she'd have also wanted to know who took away everything she was, so she gave them the answer. Albeit, a little slowly, a little afraid. "Because… Because he's my father."

Nebula's fear was laid out on the surface. For someone who saw herself as so robotic, she could barely do anything to stop all of the _real_ emotions from floating on top of the surface.

It was strange. Amelia had dealt with so many issues since being AS09 that those memories were distant, but that look on Nebula's face, the look of someone who hates themselves and also the people they couldn't admit made them into the monster they were, was so familiar that she recognised it in under a second.

Amelia did not know or understand the creature before her. But she sympathised for them.

"Do you love him?" She questioned whilst stepping forward, moving closer than Steve and Nat and Danvers dared after hearing of Nebula's heritage. Amelia Stark was unafraid to be so close to Nebula, because she did not see the alien as the daughter of the enemy, but as a soul that had undergone cruelties they did not deserve and couldn't even fully understand. The signs were glaringly obvious. The person before her needed only one thing, a chance.

The creature paused at the question, not completely understanding it at first. Love had never been an important notion in their family, love was always something they destroyed. Dedication, however, that was the important thing.

But the longer she pondered the brunette's question, the more important it seemed, and the clearer her answer became. Nebula had loved her sister, Gamora, but as for her father…

"No," she responded, eyes flickering to Amelia's for just a second before they turned back to the floor ashamed, "I thought I did but I…" She didn't know what to say afterwards, didn't know how to summarise her thoughts, didn't know how to explain all of the feelings that had formed during her lifetime for the monster that was supposed to be her father.

"I know," Amelia finished understandably, not requiring the rest of the blue alien's thoughts because she was able to understand every other significant part. It was strange. Nebula had only experienced such understanding from her sister, but Gamora had also dealt with Thanos, so it made no sense how someone like the brunette, a human, could possibly understand what they'd gone through. Yet, as Nebula finally felt the courage to meet the humans' eyes, she saw conveyed exactly what she felt. Betrayal. Acknowledgement. The will to fight for _more._

"Okay, Nebula, show us the way, we trust you," Amelia continued, once again impressing Nebula as she said the exact words that needed to be heard.

* * *

 **A/N: Another emotional chapter, but let's be honest, every chapter is probably going to be emotional thanks to Endgame being just basically almost three hours of ANGST.**

 **To SnowPaws101Reverie, not going to lie, I was wondering where you were for quite a while, I was glad to see you reviewed. It sounds like you had a busy week, I hope some of it was fun? I'm glad you liked how I wrote Tony in this one, I didn't get the opportunity to show Amelia's damage in the last part but now I'm flying free, as are Tony's emotions. I also agree with the relationship thing, Tony is like the third member of their relationship, he's best friends with Steve and brother to Amelia, anything they do will affect him (I hope that makes sense and doesn't sound creepy). Yay, I'm so happy that you spotted all of this ^^**

 **To BuckBarnes07, it will take time, but from the looks of the movie they've got plenty.**

 **To LoveFiction2019, ...Am I being really dumb if I ask what baby?**

 **To Guest Nox, nope, of course not. There's usually a reason behind everything I write, and that includes most of the things said and done in the last chapter. Amelia will have some interactions with Morgan, but you'll find out about that later. Also, I'm glad to hear your rage towards the character, that's exactly how I want people to feel when it comes to her and what she's done to Tony. Hopefully I'm not being frustrating with it though? Idk. As for Alice, I didn't get to introduce her well enough, not like how I wanted to. Sadly the last chapter was the only part of the story that it would make sense for her to appear. If you do read the other story, hopefully you'll gain a much better understanding of why she is the way she is to Tony.**

 **To d'elfe, I think she does deserve some anger, there are always consequences for our actions even if they are best for ourselves. But people make mistakes, and hopefully, time will fix things. And aw, thank you for wanting to protect Amelia, I'm sure she'd be very touched by the notion.**

 **To Assbitch67, they're doing pretty okay with keeping their marriage under wraps FOR NOW, I think the one person they'll be able to do it good enough with is Tony because obvs Amelia's very scared of him finding out now.**

 **To Pitspee, aye, I loved that too. It was a very powerful performance and something I couldn't just ignore with this fanfiction, Tony was at his rawest and Amelia was undoubtedly going to be a victim of that after all the times she'd made her brother into a victim. I think this is a great start for character development with Amelia and her brother though, she's always said she'd be better to him but never followed through. This is the wake up call she needed. And awww, you have favourite chapters? Why does that actually make me so happy? Thank you!**

 **And a big thankoo to everyone that simply read, I'll speak to you next week!**


	132. Chapter One-Hundred and Twenty Four

**CHAPTER ONE-HUNDRED AND TWENTY-FOUR**

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"You still have a lot of time to make yourself be what you want."

― **S. E. Hinton**

* * *

"So, what's your story?" Amelia questioned the blue alien bluntly, having caught on pretty quickly that Nebula was an extremely straight forward person untouched by socially-deemed requirements. In some ways, Amelia respected it, in others, not so much. It reminded her of when she was AS09, an exemption to decent human contact, a cold-blooded killer.

"Thanos spent a long time trying to perfect me," Nebula began to explain, knowing that most of the people in that room wanted to gain a better understanding of her connection with the Titan that had destroyed their planet. She couldn't actually look at them as she spoke because of that very fact. The man she'd considered her father had ruined their peace, so she was tentative to admit that she'd played a part in getting him to that point. "Then when he worked, he talked about his _great plan_." Perhaps once it had been a great plan, but, Nebula was struggling to see it that way after having her eyes opened, or, after gaining her own eyes and the ability to see the world in her own views. "Even when I was disassembled, I wanted to please him. I'd ask, where would we go once his plan was complete?" Her malice over her past behaviour was clear. "His answer was always the same, to 'The Garden'."

"That's cute, Thanos has a retirement plan," Rhodey scoffed, eyebrows rising up his forehead in disbelief and rage.

Amelia ignored Rhodey's comment as she stepped forward momentarily, wanting to aid Nebula in ridding herself of the phosphorus self-hatred that could easily be seen eating away at her. Her priority was still bringing everyone back, but that didn't mean she'd just ignore the broken being before her. Amelia saw so much of her old self in Nebula, perhaps too much. "I know what that's like, to be seen as just a… a weapon, by the person you saw as hope," she related, and for a single moment, Nebula met her eyes before quickly turning away, as though she feared to reveal anything more than her robotic exterior to everyone. It didn't stop Amelia, because she was able to recognise the difference between uncomfortable words, and words that were necessary. "I also know how it feels afterwards, when you realise that they had never been hope." She almost reached out with her hand, but that might have been too much contact whilst the blue creature was already feeling exposed, defenceless. "It's not a weakness though, it's a strength, by seeing us as only loyal they have opened one big weakness for themselves."

"You know where he is because of how trusting he was of your loyalty," Nat added helpfully, nodding her head and agreeing along with Amelia, her background - that she was a little less open with than Amelia was - allowing her to afford some sympathy as well.

Nebula's head slowly turned and everyone in that room remained quiet, as though they were witnessing a wild animal. Her black eyes rested on Amelia, and they connected as well, meeting an equal. "What is your story?" Nebula asked, wanting to further investigate what exactly made them so compatible.

"The same thing really," the brunette shrugged nonchalantly, no longer phased by her past when it came to sharing all of its uncomfortable details, "I allowed someone to dismantle and remake me because I believed they were my 'father', I wasn't sure of the real meaning, but to me it meant someone who was taking care of me and making me strong."

"And he wasn't?" Nebula continued to question, making Amelia suddenly smile.

It had blossomed unintentionally but she couldn't resist. That question meant so much in her mind. It was clearly not just about her. It was about Nebula, what had happened to her, and how she was beginning to perceive it. Her question showed exactly what she wanted to hear, that Thanos truly wasn't her father, that he wasn't what made her strong, what made her, _her_.

"No, he definitely wasn't." The brunette confirmed immediately, turning her head side to side and opening up her arms to gesture to the people around them, "Steve and Tony, this family, are the people who made me strong. Not the man I called my father."

"Did you vanquish him in the end?" She interrogated further, wanting to hear what she thought would be a happy ending, it was the ending she thought she needed in order to move on fully from her past.

Amelia's heart stung slightly as she recalled the fact that she hadn't been allowed to be there for Pierce's last moments. It was only an insignificant wound the though, whereas before it had stifled her entire body. She'd wanted her hands to be the ones that took Pierce's life away when she was younger, but she'd grown since then, and she'd realised that it had never been him she'd needed to 'vanquish'.

"No," the brunette responded, a lot softer in tone than Nebula, "instead I vanquished my demons, I vanquished the part of myself that felt it could only be freed once he was gone on my own terms."

It hadn't been the answer Nebula had been looking for. In fact, the entire concept confused her. That was made clear by the way she cocked her head slightly to the left. "I don't understand how vanquishing myself could lead to a victory."

"Well," Amelia raised up her shoulders, "hopefully you will one day."

Things like trauma always seemed so simple, and also so very complicated. There was no easy way for her to explain to Nebula how she'd taken back control of her life, especially because the only reason she'd been able to do so was because of the Entity creating a form of herself she could converse with. Nebula wasn't able to meet her past self like Amelia had been, so her battle would surely be different.

Steve stepped forward towards Amelia, supplying a gesture that Tony couldn't in that moment after hearing her declare who her true family was, wrapping his left arm around her waist and showing her that she still had their support. Then, he looked to Nebula, driving the conversation forward in the necessary direction. "So, do we know where Thanos is?"

From beside them, the racoon wandered further on the table they used for missions, summoning a hologram which depicted Earth, the light gaining everyone's attention. It seemed he was prepared, having already had discussions with Nebula in private as they tried to plan how to get their family back together, separate from the rest of the group that they didn't trust enough after only knowing them a couple of weeks.

"When Thanos snapped his fingers, Earth became ground zero for a power surge of ridiculously cosmic proportions, no one's ever seen anything like it," Rocket explained to everyone, trying to word as clearly as he could whilst also making sure the extremities of Thanos' actions were known, "until two days ago."

The hologram travelled through space, flipping through planets and stars before landing on another planet, an example image showing a similar burst of power travelling across the surface of said planet.

"When I lost my powers completely," Amelia mumbled, eyes hardening as her suspicions were confirmed. Thanos had used the stones again, and by doing so, he'd sucked the last bit of power she'd possessed.

"Bingo," Rocket winked her way, though there was no cheer in his voice, "and this is the planet where the energy surge happened."

"Thanos is there," Nebula confirmed for the rest of the team.

"He used the stones again," Natasha moved herself closer to the planet, examining what little she could see from the hologram Rocket had been able to create.

"Yeah, but why?" Amelia huffed, her head moving to face the windowed wall as her mind wandered, trying to find some logical reason for why he'd use such a huge magnitude of power again. He'd gotten exactly what he wanted, he'd taken away half of all living life in the universe. That had been his mission. So what else? What else could he possibly want, or need?

"Hey, hey, hey," Bruce sounded out, raising his hands timidly as he could easily read from everyone's expression what they wanted to do now that they knew where he was hiding out. "We'd be going in short-handed, you know?" They had barely survived the first battle, and he just didn't know if he was ready to lose anything else.

"Look, he's still got the stones, so," Rhodey followed on from Bruce, another person who could see actual logic in the team stepping back and thinking over a proper plan. Last time, they'd just jumped into a war, too cocky to even consider the consequences.

"So let's get him," Carol interrupted, nodding her head with a determination Amelia was only used to seeing in Steve.

Everyone had fallen into a silent state, the room splitting into two teams, one part agreeing with her, the other part beginning to question how sound her mind was as she stared with glaring eyes at the hologram, at her next target.

"Him and the stones," Carol continued, the plan coming out so simply that it almost seemed possible when she said it, "then we'll bring everyone back." She looked to the rest of the team, expecting a reaction but not expecting it to be a good one. Still, it was clear from her expression that she just simply didn't care what their response was, she was there to fight.

"Just like that?" Rhodey scoffed.

"Yeah, just like that," Steve spoke up, copying Danvers as he, too, stared at the hologram, at the target, at the mission. Amelia felt a slight pang of jealousy as she heard him agree with Danvers so easily, both of them sharing a soldier mindset. Danvers was able to be strong without any challenges, able to jump into a battle without any fears, just like Amelia's soldier. Danvers was everything Amelia wished she could be, a soldier, a warrior, a beacon of light.

"Even if there's a small chance that we can undo this," Natasha agreed with Steve and Carol, turning to face Bruce as she spoke, hoping to make him understand that they weren't just jumping unthinkingly into another losing battle, "I mean, we owe it to everyone who's not in this room to try."

"If we do this, how do we know it's gonna end any differently than it did before?" Bruce questioned, on the verge of laughing at their silly notions. They'd lost once already, they'd lost more than anyone could handle losing, how did they expect anyone to make another attempt when that was the price?

"Because before, you didn't have me," Carol responded on behalf of Steve and Nat, her hands pressed against her hips and her face blank. She didn't look confident, she didn't need to, Amelia realised. Carol Danvers simply _was_.

"Hey, new girl, everybody in this room is about that superhero life," Rhodey gave his own input, waving his hands around and providing a little sass whilst Tony was unavailable. "And if you don't mind my asking, where the hell have you been all this time?"

"There are a lot of other planets in the universe, and unfortunately, they didn't have you guys," Danvers reasoned, unapologetically. Besides, for all she'd known, the world had been safely in the hands of Nick Fury.

The shuffle of a chair against the floor drew everyone's attention as Thor stood up. He'd remained silent ever since Tony returned, going back to his personal prison, that moment was the first time he'd moved, the first time he'd made any sort of action in front of the rest of the team except for Amelia.

They watched on with trepidation as he moved to stand directly in front of Carol, an intimate space shared between the two as they began to stare down one another. They watched as a battle happened, one that required no movement and no words, it was occurring between their gazes. Unseen by the naked eye, but vocal and domineering to those able to recognise what was happening within the invisible. He raised up his arm after one moment, and Danvers didn't even twitch at the movement, easily staring down the man that towered over her, that threatened with his muscled physique to break her. She could not be broken. She could not be dominated.

No fright broke her expression as Stormbreaker whizzed passed her, creating a furious gust that blew her hair aside, declaring itself powerful another to cut off her head. It wouldn't, Danvers was sure.

And because of that assurance she personified, Thor was sure too. A smile broke open his lips, not large enough to combat the ones he used to wear when his spirit wasn't so shattered, but it was a glimpse of hope. Amelia thought back to their moment together, had she managed to make him smile like that? Probably not. "I like this one," the thunder god declared, placing his axe down to the floor and resting both arms against the top of it.

For Steve, that was all he'd needed, the confidence of a familiar friend. If Thor said that Danvers was good, then he would trust that. He turned back to the hologram of the planet Thanos was relaxing on, committing it to memory, telling himself that that would be the place where all of the mess that happened would be fixed. "Let's go get this son of a bitch."

Amelia smiled at that, unable to hold it back as there was something far too appealing about her husband's confidence in that moment. She nudged her arm against his side, gaining his attention so he could see her wink at him and explain, "I've always wanted to go to space for our honeymoon."

"Honeymoon?" Nat caught onto the wording quickly.

The brunette probably would have turned her head and thrown out some sort of lame excuse over her slip up had she not been caught by the look Steve was laying on her. It was a look of pity, and guilt. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

He turned his body so he was facing her completely and he tried to reach out for her hands but she refused to give them to him. He dropped them, sighing and looking down at his feet. She wouldn't like what he had to say, he knew that, but he needed to say it. "Amelia, maybe you should sit this one out."

She took one step back, further away from him, yet she bent her head low enough to catch his eyes. "Excuse me?" Her expression matched the imploring tone she spoke with.

"You haven't exactly been at your best health lately, yesterday you could barely stand on your own two feet," he attempted to explain, hoping she'd understand he was only telling her to stay on Earth out of concern, not because he doubted her abilities. He knew she could handle herself in a fight, but that was when she was in full health.

"But now I can," Amelia argued, gesturing down to her legs that stood straight without showing a single wobble, "and if I can stand, then I can at least offer support whilst we face Thanos." There was no other way she could look at it, Amelia refused to look at any other point of view because any other one simply wasn't acceptable to her. "If it's because of my lack of powers then that's definitely unfair, Nat doesn't have any, she's still a part of the team."

Her arguments made Steve realise that he had to put his foot down or else she'd just board the ship without any care to the fact that she wasn't powerful enough to stand a chance against him, not in her current condition, "Amelia, you're not going, that's the end of this conversation."

"The hell it is." She threw her hand to the side, signifying her dismissal of his orders. Her head shook, her eyes blinking rapidly as she struggled to even acknowledge what he'd said. "If you think for one second I'm letting you face that monster without me then you are insane." Her eyes met his once more. "If you think I will let an opportunity to avenge the people that I let down go by, then you're- no- no, I'm going Steve."

Gran had told her she was there for some reason, claimed it to be destiny, and Amelia had begun to believe it. She'd survived so much, lived far longer than her younger self would ever had expected, that had to be for a reason. No, that had to be _because she needed to vanquish Thanos_.

"Amelia-"

"Wedding ring."

"What?" Natasha proclaimed once more, not the only one in that room who was becoming increasingly perplexed by all of the marital terms Amelia was throwing out.

Though Steve had more understanding than most, he still seemed blundered by the words she'd shot out, so Amelia decided to explain it to him. "I've decided that every time one of us goes against our vows, we can bring up the wedding ring."

"That's not a thing," he shook his head from side to side. They'd never agreed on doing that. Also, he didn't like that she was bringing up the vows he'd promised, because in his eyes they didn't fit the scenario that was happening then.

"I feel like we've missed something here," Rhodey mumbled to the rest, turning to see if they agreed with him and most nodded their heads whilst Danvers watched their interactions, intrigued at the fight Amelia was showing.

It was her first opportunity to see the warrior they'd all painted her out to be.

"You said you'd be supportive," Amelia reminded.

Steve scoffed, "I'm not going to support you getting yourself killed." He said the words with such a harsh tone that Amelia almost backed down, his anger coming out more as a ferocious concern. It reminded her of when she'd jumped in front of her brother's laser, risking the life of both herself and their child, losing one of them. It was clear that he didn't want that to happen again.

As her expression dropped from her face, it became clear that she was starting to lose her will to fight.

"Hey," Carol called from the side, obviously speaking to Amelia, "you say you can fight, prove it."

The brunette paused, facing the alien that she'd become increasingly jealous of and meeting a fear that had been lying dormant underneath all of that envious rage. She'd watched the blonde carry a spaceship down to Earth, and after being in Danvers presence for only a day, it was clear that the alien possessed far more power than she did. Maybe Amelia would have stood a chance when she had her powers from her space stone, but in her current condition, it was practically hopeless.

That was the point, though. If she could at least stand a chance against Danvers, then she could also face off Thanos. Maybe.

"Fine," Amelia declared, shaking out her fists, inwardly giving herself a pep talk, "okay."

As she stepped forward, Steve went to hold out a hand and stop her but she dodged it easily. He would not stop her then, she was going to prove herself.

Amelia needed to. She'd said it so many times. It wasn't something she wanted to do, it was something she _needed_ to do. What she wanted was to be on that beautiful farm with Steve and her family, but that couldn't happen because she _needed_ to save the world. It was on her, all of it. If she hadn't lost her way, hadn't stopped fighting for all those years, let herself go, then maybe she would have stood a chance against Thanos. But she'd been so selfish, she'd lost her way, and it had led to so many bad things. Thanos had wiped out half the universe and she'd lost her family, the only blood relative she had. She needed to fix things. It was all on her.

She couldn't protect the world, but she'd make damn sure that she could avenge it.

All she needed to do, was take one more step forward to Danvers that was readily awaiting the fight.

It occurred in a timeless blur. She stepped forward, raising her fist as a decoy to distract Carol so she could throw her other hand out and stab her in the gut. Amelia had managed that at least. But then Carol took a hold of the hand Amelia had left against her body, twisting it at an almost impossible angle, making the brunette cry out and stutter as the pain coursed through her entire body.

That was new.

She was so used to her powers giving her the strength to continue, numbing all the insignificant pains. Danvers took advantage of this, twisting her body.

But Amelia had other limbs, Amelia raised up one foot, balancing easily on the other, she threw it towards Danvers and kicked down at her heel to knock her to the ground. Danvers' leg moved, but she did not stumble. Instead, Danvers copied the move, hooking her leg around Amelia's so she could pull it towards herself, holding the brunette as she fell to the floor, making the crash landing a lot easier.

That should have been it, the end of the battle. She was on the floor, Danvers had grabbed both of her arms and sat on top of her so there was barely any room to fight, but still, Amelia tried. She kicked her legs, shook her body, releasing almost screams as she tried to escape, tried to fight. It was almost as though Amelia had envisioned Carol as Thanos, making a display of her willingness to keep fighting, no matter what.

Carol rode it out, staying on top of the brunette and holding her limbs in place so Amelia didn't hurt herself with all of the critical movements she did.

It took two whole minutes before Amelia continued to fight despite how her motions had slowed, her squirming body becoming merely a gentle wave as her legs dropped to the floor, along with her chin. "Goddammit," she mumbled, knowing what the loss was supposed to mean. Still, she refused to give up the fight, she refused to just give up.

Danvers looked up, spotting all of the Avengers that had taken one step closer, every single one of them prepared to defend the brunette beneath her. It merely confirmed her thoughts. "I think she should come," Danvers announced, releasing the only words capable of stopping Amelia's attempts.

"What?" A few of them asked, the ones who were able to think logically about the situation.

"What?" Amelia followed, burrowing her head into the ground as she continued, "I just lost."

The loss weighed on her literally. Danvers was on top of her, unbeatable.

"I'm a really good fighter, which means I can recognise other good fighters," Carol explained easily, beginning to step up off of the brunette and even offering a hand, though Amelia did not accept it, standing up on her own. It was okay though, Carol had hoped for that. "She'll be fine as long as she doesn't get too close to him."

"I need to go, for the same reason as Thor, for all of us," Amelia supplied, quickly following along what Danvers had said in the hopes that they would finally listen to her argument, "I messed up, and I need to fix it."

Steve looked at her, eyebrows furrowing as he was torn between two sides. "I don't want to argue with you," he declared, hating that they were having to endure such a debate only moments after having their wedding. It shouldn't have been that way. Maybe if he'd been courageous enough to leave his old life than they'd have been able to live happily together with a child by then, rather than dealing with what was currently happening.

But also, maybe their child would have been lost after Thanos clicked his fingers.

"Then don't," Amelia begged, her eyes pleading, beginning to shine with the life that once possessed them along with the stars the space stone gifted her with.

"She knows how to use a gun pretty well, I'd say we let her go," Natasha provided, able to understand her point of view. She was human too, possessing no powers, but that didn't stop her from wanting to face off the god that had torn her world apart.

"I vote that Little Stark comes along as well," Thor announced, recalling the conversation they'd had earlier. Amelia and Thor shared one thing in common, they both felt like the world had been destroyed because of their failures. All he wanted was to avenge them, and he'd been assured by the said earlier conversation that, that was exactly what Amelia wanted too. Even if Steve refused it, he would have got her onto that planet somehow.

Steve looked to Carol, then to Nat, then to Thor. He wondered what Tony would say if he was there. There was no doubt in his mind that Tony would reprimand him, telling him that Amelia didn't belong on a battlefield, she'd spent too much time living on one and she needed to find peace.

Yet, how could the soldier say no?

"Fine," he agreed solemnly, quietly. He stepped forward towards her, grabbing ahold of her wrists that had just been grabbed by Danvers, his thumb rubbing across where bruises were already beginning to appear, a reminder of how fragile she now was. "But you have to promise not to get too close to him, promise on the wedding ring."

She'd promised him a life together, a life of kissing and hugging and smiling and laughing. A life she wouldn't be able to give him were she to sacrifice herself.

Amelia needed to stick to her vows the same way she expected Steve to, so she gave a curt nod of her head. "I promise."

* * *

 **A/N: I literally have had a war every day trying to get this laptop loaded. Anyway, I'm so sorry for the lack of updates but WE'RE GOING TO HAVE THREE DAYS OF CHAPTER UPLOADS AS AN APOLOGY WHOOOOOOOO.**

 **Another apology, I can't reply to reviews this chapter. Just know I love you all and I heard you all!**


	133. Chapter One-Hundred and Twenty-Five

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-FIVE**

* * *

"Who needs superheroes when you have a brother."

― **Unknown**

* * *

Night had swallowed up the Avengers facility, bringing with it a silence that no one wanted as it allowed them to ponder things better left ignored. Amelia had only managed to sit in silence for five minutes inside of the kitchen before she'd stood up and moved, her mind riddled with thoughts, her hand still holding tightly onto the device Tony had thrown her way before fainting.

It hadn't left her since she'd been given it, and Tony hadn't left her mind at all. The day was over, but Amelia resisted it. She went to her brother's room and ended up trading spaces with Pepper, sitting at her brother's bedside and watching him in silence as she continued to rub her thumb against the device.

He didn't even look peaceful. His lips were settled in a frown and his eyebrows were drawn, it looked like, even though he was sleeping, he was still battling Thanos and facing the consequences of what had happened. Her heart ached for him, and she chose to let that ache in, she _chose_ to feel every bit of that pain because it would at least help motivate her further.

The silence was solace until he began to stir, the shuffle of skin against cotton covers so loud among the dull darkness surrounding the infirmary room. Her eyes rose cautiously to his figure after staring hard at the arc reactor. A part of her hoped he wouldn't wake, but it became clear she wouldn't be able to have that as his eyes fluttered open.

Tony remained quiet as he woke, almost calm as he took in his surroundings, recognising the infirmary. They only hardened when they landed on the brunette that sat cross-legged on the seat closest to his bed. He hadn't forgotten what he said, he hadn't forgotten how he felt towards her.

"What are you doing here?" He questioned gruffly, moving his eyes away to look out at the empty room outside of his own, far more interested in the nothing that belonged there, rather than the girl he'd _wished_ meant nothing to him.

"Pepper needed to go eat and have a drink, I practically had to push her under the door and she only agreed to do so once I agreed to stay by your side, I was hoping you wouldn't wake up because I knew you wouldn't be too happy about it," Amelia excused, having thought up the lie beforehand during the hours she'd been savouring at her brother's side. In truth, she'd begged Pepper to have a moment alone with her brother. All Amelia wanted was to feel his presence again, she'd needed it then more than ever.

Tony had always been there for her, and she'd abused that, she knew that, but it didn't mean she wasn't missing having someone who was at her side no matter what. The thought had been selfish, and she hated that, but she just needed to be with her family. He was a reminder of who she was. He was Tony Stark, the brother to Amelia Stark, without him there it always became a little harder to _be_ Amelia Stark.

But, after she explained her faux reasoning, his frown deepened and she wondered perhaps if he'd wanted more, or if he could tell that she was just lying to him.

It was still so confusing for her, after being apart for so long and reuniting under unsatisfactory circumstances, she didn't know how to be around him. Around Steve, she could be her honest self. Around others, she needed to pretend that she was some strong individual. Honestly, she couldn't remember if she'd ever been truly herself when alone with Tony.

Amelia had always seen him as separate of herself, a part of a life, a puzzle piece that created the image of Amelia Stark. That's what made Steve different, he was a part of all her lives, AS09's, Freckles, Amelia's, Artemis'. That was the problem.

Looking down, she mentally pulled away her layers, tearing apart iron-clad skin to reveal her honest self, the girl who couldn't be strong all of the time. "And, I haven't seen you in years, I've missed you," she mumbled, once again rubbing her hands across the chest piece. Was it selfish for her to say that? Or, was it good to be so honest?

"You waited too long," he responded back, just as quietly, revealing to Amelia the answer she'd been trying to figure out.

It was selfish of her to say, but that didn't entirely mean her honesty was wrong. He wasn't hostile towards her, didn't proclaim her a liar as he had before. He preferred her telling him the truth.

Her eyes fell down to the floor once again, her head bending as though a monster had crawled across her back and was forcing her to look away. That monster was called 'Guilt'. "I know I did."

"Over the past year I've been realising how many mistakes I've made," she continued on with being honest, with baring herself despite how uncomfortable the weight of doing such a thing was. It was something Tony needed to hear. Amelia spoke, not with the mission to make him forgive her, but with the mission to make sure he knew she could acknowledge his pain and where it had come from. "I was selfish and I ignored your pain, this is what it led to and I can't even be angry about it because I'm well aware that it's what I deserve."

"So, what?" He scoffed, shaking his head with what little energy he had. His hands tightened at his side. Hands that Amelia wished she could hold in order to offer some comfort. "You think acknowledging your mistakes and apologising will fix everything?"

"No," the brunette professed, "I doubt I'll ever be able to make up for all the damage I've done." It was painful for her to admit, but Amelia knew better than anyone how some mistakes were unfixable. The only option available was the future, was making the best possible changes when the opportunity arose. That moment there was something Amelia saw as an opportunity, the two of them were alone during the time when most human emotions revealed themselves, he was taking advantage of that by explaining to her brother every truth she had available. "All I can do is promise to not let those mistakes happen again."

She wasn't intending to minimise the situation, in fact, her explanation made it clear that she saw what was happening as the complete opposite. It comforted Tony somewhat, but it didn't stop him wishing for something more, for a different life than the one they were leading then.

After he'd met Amelia, after he'd taken her in as his family, he'd seen such a different future for the two of them. He saw them as a proper family, the kind he'd always wanted, the kind that was there for each other no matter what adversaries came their way. No other outside person would affect their bond, because family dominated everything else. He saw a future where she wouldn't be dragged or pulled away from him a second time, and a future where she would hold onto him to prevent that. But she'd never held onto him, the only part of him she'd relied on was the things he could provide.

He gave her money, substances, a home, but she never asked for him. She'd had Steve, so why would she ever need him when she had one person to be there for her?

"Do you ever think about what you'd change if you could go back in time?" He whispered the question then, so quietly that she almost hadn't heard him but that was exactly the point. It had been a question which had cursed him over the past twenty-one days. Whilst he was stuck outside in space away from everyone and everything he understood, he'd started to question what had put him in that place in the first place. He'd started imaging up different scenarios where he'd turned away opportunities, turned away joining the Avengers. In those scenarios, he truly was happy, it was him, Pepper, their child and Amelia, a family with a _normal_ life.

On the darkest of nights, he'd begged the stars to give him exactly that.

Amelia let out a heavy exhale of air. "That's a heavy question," she responded, willingly diving into it though. There were many things to consider, some good, some bad. "I have no idea really, on the one hand, I'd love to change so many things, but then on the other… you know, a very wise man once told me that, though the darkness is unnecessary, it makes the light look so much more beautiful."

A smile graced her face as she thought back to all the happy memories that had taken place in that facility, to the time her and Tony had first met, and all the great times that one moment led to. Moments she'd been able to truly appreciate because before that she'd never actually had a brother it was a new concept so when he'd acted in such a way towards her, they'd come across so wonderful. "There have been so many, light, beautiful moments that have happened because of the dark times I've gone through." Tony, Steve, Natasha, Wanda, the Avengers, her home, food, love. Every bit of those things was shrouded in light. "I wouldn't be here right now, I wouldn't have my name, I wouldn't have this family."

Again he exhaled a ridiculing breath of air, because in his eyes there was no light. There was nothing at the end of the tunnel he was dragging his body through. No sunrise soon to come. No stars fighting against a canopy of darkness. "What's the point in it?" The light had no place in their world anymore, and Tony was no longer sure if it ever had.

Once upon a time, when Tony was enduring a rather dark moment, an unusual comrade had told him not to waste his life. He'd vowed to that friend that he wouldn't. But then, in that moment, as he felt the loss of half the entire universe weighing on his fragile body, he realised that he'd spent his entire life wasting seconds on fruitless battles.

"You don't mean that." That was the only response she could give him, her heart simply refusing what he'd said because such a notion was hard to imagine. The light had always been so important to her, it was the only reason she continued on. She needed to look for that light, even when it wasn't there, or else what was the point?

His head drooped and his eyes met hers, a dangerous look possessing his brown eyes which confessed that what he'd said was something he truly believed. There was no point in the light, it didn't matter, it didn't exist. "Half the universe is dead and we're to blame, so what does it matter if we have a name or a family?"

"It means everything," she argued with a passion that matched his own discontent, her entire body shuffling to the end of the seat as she fought for both herself and Tony. Amelia _needed_ her brother to know that there was light in the distance. There was hope, so much of it, in such tiny forms, in the people they were surrounded by, in the small moments of peace, in most insignificant of things. "It means we're alive, and if we're alive then we can fight."

He continued to stare at her, battling her the same way Carol and Thor had hours earlier. It was a battle of spirits.

"We're going to fight Thanos tomorrow morning, I'll be going on my first trip into space, I just wanted to see you before I left," she revealed, knowing that it was likely no one would mention it to him in case he went through another breakdown, she had more faith in her brother than that. Amelia rose to her feet, but she stayed at his bedside as she placed beside his side the device which allowed him to be Iron Man, a hero. "And I wanted to return this."

He looked down, his hand frozen in place, refusing to touch the armour that had proved itself useless during his battle with Thanos. Tony turned away once again. "I really don't want that." All it was, was a reminder of his loss. It was useless, the same way he was.

"Maybe not right now you don't," she replied calmly, tapping her fingers against its metal frame one last time. Then she looked up to Tony, "throw it away if it's really useless to you now." She sincerely hoped that he wouldn't.

If he did, that meant he was completely dissociation himself from that life, a life she was still intrinsically caught in.

It was time for her to leave, she'd said all she could and it was clear from his behaviour that her presence was only causing him more pain.

Amelia waited for him to turn to her and say something else, but he didn't. She took that as his response instead. It wasn't some big gesture of reassurance, it was just what he gave her, and Amelia would accept it wholeheartedly because that was what she'd deserved.

Her feet were silent as they stepped on the laminate flooring to the doorway, but Tony's eyes focused on her shaded form in his peripheral vision, not moving onto her, simply becoming aware of her. A pang of pain formed in his chest, a want to be close to her, to have the future he'd dreamed of.

"Mia," he called, immediately gulping down all the emotions that rose when he called out her nickname. He felt sick. He felt angry. He felt sad. But most importantly, he felt worried. She paused, turning to him, not opening her mouth so he had room to speak. His eyes focused on the only thing left in the room that seemed of value other than his sister, the arc reactor that she'd returned to him. His fingers pressed against it's cold, broken, frame. "I'm mad at you right now, but I will be so much more furious if you don't come back alive, got it?"

"Got it." She responded, and for a single moment, she began to actually feel hope again for their relationship. "I'll see you later?"

Silence settled between them - becoming oddly familiar between the both of them - as the deeper meaning of her words hovered between the two siblings. Amelia was asking if there was even a chance of them reuniting permanently, of forgetting their mistakes and becoming the family they should have always been.

"Maybe," was his answer. He was still angry, still struggling between his desire to have a proper family with the last existing person he was blood-related to, and his desire to stand up for his own self that has always been objectively last in his sister's thoughts.

Amelia wandered back to her bedroom with wary bones and an equally wary mind. She might have slept for twenty-one days, but it certainly felt like she'd been awake for longer.

All she wanted was to enter a dark room and wind herself within Steve's comforting, strong, arms. Arms that always made her feel like she could release her weight and let someone else carry her for, if just for a moment. The only moments she didn't wrap herself around Steve were on warm nights where heat radiated from her lover, but even then she just moved a short distance away and kept her hand on him, maintaining that connection. As long as she could feel him in some way, feel his chest rising and falling, Amelia was assured enough to be able to sleep, she knew that she was protected and didn't need to give in to the instinct which made her sleep with one eye open.

The brunette didn't think that Steve felt the same way, but she did know that he cared strongly about her and that he often acted like worrying about her was his purpose in life despite the countless times she'd reassured him that she would be okay. Before going to see her brother, he'd done exactly that, worried about her, told her that he'd prefer it if he could be there in case Tony woke up not in the same mood he'd fallen asleep with. She'd pushed him to go to bed like the rest of the Avengers were, knowing full well that having him there wouldn't help her and Tony make any progress, it would only confirm all of Tony's thoughts that Amelia was completely dependent on Steve in every possible way.

What she needed was for her brother to realise that she'd changed too, that she was no longer the girl following Steve like a lost puppy, thinking that he was the only good thing in her darkened life. Through being Artemis, she'd discovered an independence and fight that had long since been hidden, stifled by that black hole in the ground Hydra would often lock her in.

Because she knew of Steve's tendency to worry over worry-free situations, she wasn't at all surprised when she strolled into their old shared bedroom and find the soldier sat up in bed, the lamp at his bedside illuminating his topless finger that was hunched slightly as he awaited her arrival.

Amelia let out a quiet laugh as she fully entered the bedroom, allowing the door to slide shut on its own accord. "I knew you wouldn't go to bed," she mumbled tiredly, a little bit of humour found amongst her croaky voice.

Steve looked up immediately as he heard her voice, relieved to see her entering with tired as her only condition. She wasn't falling apart, her eyes showed no signs of tears and there were no visible wounds on her body. She was okay. Amelia wasn't beaming, that told him that her interactions with her brother hadn't gone in the best way, but the fact that she was able to laugh told him the interactions hadn't gone too horribly.

He shrugged his shoulders lazily, finally allowing his body to uncoil and relax, "I've always found it a little difficult falling asleep without you here,"

"That's my line," she countered, beginning to undress without any care, ignoring the pyjamas that Steve had already folded out nicely on the dressing table as to dress herself again would take far more effort than her wary body could maintain. She needed to save her energy for the next day.

She held the hoodie that she'd pulled off in her hands, not folding it, just pressing her thumbs against the cotton fabric as a question weighed heavy on her. She didn't look Steve in the eye, his first sign that it was a question she was unsure about asking. Amelia had always had a brave heart though, so she persevered anyway. "Are we… are we okay?"

There conversation played heavily on her mind. It was their first argument and it was the first one they'd had since getting married. It caused great discomfort because it had been so soon after they'd gotten married. She feared him having doubts about their union.

"Of course we are," he quickly dismissed, a little bit of panic rising up in him as he thought the exact same thing she did. Perhaps it had been too soon after they got married. He didn't want her to have doubts, to think that maybe they really weren't going to work out. Steve Rogers needed her, more than water and food and oxygen. Amelia Stark was the one thing that kept him going, even when they argued. "I'm just nervous."

"Me too," She confessed with obvious relief, turning to face him fully the second she realised that they shared the exact same worries.

Tomorrow was a big day, it was the end of a war that had gone too long and the starting point for the life they were always meant to have which was why she _needed_ to be with him.

Comforted, she abandoned her hoodie onto the floor along with her pants and climbed onto the bed, dressed in just her underwear she shuffled as close to him as possible. There was no shyness when it came to Steve, he'd seen too much of her for Amelia to fear how he would view the scars which mangled her soft body. His arms wrapped around her and pulled her even closer, their naked skin pressing against each others.

It was warm. He was warm.

"Amelia," he mumbled after a few moments of silence.

"Hm?" She hummed, content against his side, even in the silence that usually brought about thoughts of possible failures and a menagerie of anxieties. In his arms though, she only thought of her safety.

Steve wished he could share that sentiment, usually, he would, but not then. Then, all he could think about was the life running through her veins.

"I didn't want to talk about it before, but now that you're going to face Thanos tomorrow I don't really have a choice," he started, his sincere tone making it clear that what he wanted to talk about was something quite serious. She looked up, her eyes widening partially at the grave expression he wore, his eyes drifting off into the distant past, envisioning the moment that she'd used their enemies weapon to plunge inside of her own chest. "Before, when we were fighting Thanos, and you- you killed yourself."

It was so hard for him to say, and so, very difficult for them to recall.

"Oh," she sounded as her failed attempt at suicide was brought to the forefront of her memories, "somehow I managed to forget that actually happened, probably because in the end it didn't work out."

That was the only reason she could come up with as to why she'd not bothered to bring it up. It was the only theory that had made sense. So many things had happened since then, that the moment she willingly gave up her own place on the Earth, seemed significant in comparison.

"I haven't forgotten." After hearing Steve's reveal, Amelia decided to sit up completely, a sign that she was completely engaged in the conversation. She shuffled around so that she was facing him, his hands held in her own. Their touch was filled with so much warmth, so much life that might not have been possible if it weren't for Thanos possessing the time stone.

His eyes were drawn to hers, capturing the dull brown and transferring a fiery blue to them. He didn't even have to say any words, Steve's expression said it al. "You can't do that to me ever again, Amelia."

"Steve-" She made a move to argue her own point of view at the time, even though it all of a sudden felt lame after those few days she'd experienced with him, days that she might not have been able to have if her attempt was successful.

"Please let me finish," he interrupted, abandoning one of her hands so he could hold his own up as a sign for her to stop speaking, "I've been holding this in for a while but… you can't even think about doing something like that ever again, it was stupid and dumb, did you even think about what that would have done to me?"

Even after twenty-one days, the feelings felt so raw inside of him. The loss. The pain. The rage.

If it had truly ended that way, he would have done anything to prevent it. Whatever it took, he would have stopped her from doing it.

"It was supposed to stop Thanos, it was supposed to _save_ everyone, including you," Amelia sighed, feeling lame even as she phrased her argument. She didn't mean to dismiss his feelings, all she wanted was to make it clear why she'd jumped to doing such an extreme thing.

It hadn't been like before, it hadn't been like when she'd jumped in front of that laser. At that moment, she'd believed that her sacrifice was the only thing which would end the horror which had taken over their planet, their universe.

"I wouldn't want it if that was the price," he responded back, returning his hand to hers and rubbing his thumb across hers. He wasn't comforting her then. He was comforting himself. "In fact, I wouldn't even be able to look at it as a victory, it would be a huge loss, equal to the one we're experiencing now."

"You don't mean that," Amelia shook her head, unable to believe that he could compare losing half the universe to losing just her. It wasn't right.

"You don't get to tell me how I feel about you." His voice was stone. No, it was adamantium. Indestructible. There was no changing his mind, no argument that could make him ever believe for even a second that any sort of fate would be worse than losing the one thing that made him _okay_. Not fine, not 'I can exist, but not be happy', but actually _okay_. She was his entire life. His Saturday breakfasts after a week of only being able to have cereal, his sunsets on a summer day that had made him understand what a volcano felt like, his song that resonated far too strongly with the emotions his heart covered up. She was the good moments that people fought through life for. "I love you, Amelia, that means something, that means that you hold my heart in the palm of your hands and you can't- you can't leave me again, I can't handle it a second time."

His voice had wavered and so he cleared his throat, trying to cover up the 'unmanly' weakness that had uncovered itself despite the point he was trying to stay strong to make for.

The show of weakness was what finally threw Amelia over the edge though, made her realise the mistake she'd made. It was the same with Tony. As soon as she was able to see the effects, she was able to see the facts. Her actions had effects, even when she was trying to be good.

It had never been good though, nor had it been noble.

Hell had always been paved in good intentions, as had Amelia's choices in life.

"I'm sorry, okay?" She gripped his hands tightly, shutting her lips tightly as she tried to resist the way they pulled downward, emotions taking over for only a split second before her instinct took over and she managed to dismiss the physical form her emotions took. "I agree with you, it was stupid, and I can tell you quite happily that I have no current plans on pulling a stunt like that ever again."

That last part was true. All she was trying for by that point was her happy ever after.

He stared into his eyes and she matched his gaze unafraid. She knew well enough that he could easily tell when she was lying. Amelia wanted to make it very clear that what she said was true.

Eventually, Steve was able to surmise that she had indeed been telling him emotionally exactly what she was saying. He gave a determined nod. "Good."

Amelia smiled gently, glad that they'd managed to come to an agreement. She fell back against his body, he released a loud breath of air but he didn't argue against her touch, instead, he returned his arms around her waist, allowing her head to nuzzle against his chest, taking in his familiar smell.

Some people had smells from their childhood, like freshly cut grass or the familiar smell of their parents cooking within their home, but for Aelia all she really had was Steve. Her brain refused to recall the smell of the naughty pit, so instead she had Steve, like a log cabin in the summer, like birds tweeting amongst a forest.

He was just too perfect sometimes, too great, too overwhelming. It felt like her heart was soaring as she was intertwined with him and their past conversation made her realise just how broken she would be if she ever lost him the same way he felt that he'd lost her. "I just hope you realise, now you can't pull any dumb shit like that either, it would make you quite the hypocrite."

"We wouldn't want that, would we?" He responded sarcastically, believing full well that he'd never be able to abandon her the way she almost had done him.

She laughed at his statement and was silent from there, her eyes grazing over the darkly lit bedroom they were laid in. A shadow of its former self that had once been filled with all of their _lives_. "Does it feel weird to you yet, being back in this bedroom?"

He paused, swaying his head from one side to the other. "It did, so much has changed it doesn't even feel like the bedroom we shared all those years ago," he mumbled, recalling all of the great memories that belonged in that one bedroom. All the times he'd told her off for leaving crumbs in the bed, abandoning items of clothing on the floor. All the nights one of them would return late from a mission and crawl into bed, immediately being held by their partner who had stayed up late awaiting the other. All of the days they'd relaxed completely alone in that room, yet completely fulfilled because there were with one another. Somehow, it didn't make him feel sad, he didn't care that he couldn't return back to all the happy memories made in that room. Instead, it made him excited, because there were so many happy memories which could be created in the happy home they'd built together. He leaned his head over, kissing her freckled forehead. "It feels a bit more normal now that you're here."

"It's not as good as the bedroom in our house," she recalled, mirroring the exact same thoughts that had flitted through his mind. "But, just think, after tomorrow, we can go back to our house and live there, you can meet my dogs and we can have kids," the smile filling her lips was real, so bright and so large it could have been quite insulting to all of the people who didn't have their significant others still with them. She reigned it back in, slapping her hand against his chest. "And we'll also have to do a proper wedding for everyone, especially now that we've got Tony back home."

"You think he'll want to come?" He questioned, a tad concerned that she could have been holding onto a reality that wasn't possible. He didn't want to outright say it, but the doubts weighed heavily. Not because of her, but because of himself.

"He's the one who's going to walk me down the aisle, so he better come," she responded, choosing to ignore what he'd suggested because there was no way she would have her official wedding without her brother there, but there was also no way that she'd _not_ have their marriage officiated. "It'll be the greatest wedding ever."

Steves lips lifted, even as the wedding of Amelia's dreams started to weigh heavily on his mind. He needed to hope like she was. He needed to believe in their happy ending, the same way she was. He'd vowed it, after all.

"I can't wait."

* * *

 **A/N: Shoutout to my brother who'll never read this, he's literally the only family member who I have no issues with, who I can actually see as a good human being.**

 **I know there are some people out there who have issues with how I've portrayed Amelia and Tony's relationship, so I'm taking this rather important chapter to explain this: They are not a traditional brother and sister. Someone pointed out quite a while ago that they aren't like T'Challa and Shuri, this is a great observation because Amelia didn't actually meet Tony until she was over twenty. She'd got attached to Steve, he was the one who'd saved her from abuse, as far as she was concerned, he was her be-all and end-all. Tony was just the guy people told her was her brother. After leaving Steve, I agree, she should have realised his importance, but at the same time, she was going through a lot of shit. Tony might differ from the movie, Steve might differ, but that's because I need to take into account the effect Amelia has had. She's not just been appearing here and now, she's been interacting with these characters and changing their opinions. Tony is a great guy and a great brother, I will defend this man till the day I die, but that doesn't mean I'm going to sacrifice the realism in my story out of personal preference. Please understand that and bare with the story. If you still disagree with it, then wait until the end of this and then tell me, I'll take it personally and we can all move on from there, okay?**

 **Saying that, please don't feel like you can't share your opinions on my character portrayals. I'm only stating the brotherly bond because I've had extensive conversations on friends with this. I'd love to know your opinions on my characters because they help me grow. After this, I'll be writing a spiderman fanfiction so knowing how I should portray characters is extremely important.**

 **I'll be replying to all reviews tomorrow, so for now, thanks to everyone who reviewed (seriously, these chapters wouldn't exist without you) and thanks to those that read. I'm grateful every single one of you exists.**


	134. Chapter One-Hundred and Twenty-Six

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-SIX**

* * *

"I have gunpowder in my chest instead of a heart now, and it escapes my lips shaped like a bullet with your name on it."

― **Nikita Gill**

* * *

"Art."

The brunette did not feel her eyes open, an image simply faded into existence before her vision. The setting she found herself in was simple, a plain white room that seemed to possess no end. She definitely wasn't outside, there was no sky above, no wind. Just cold, obsolete, white.

"Amelia."

Her eyes swept the white expanse before finding the figure that was stood surprisingly close. They loomed over her, grey hairs swept downward, disguising their face but it didn't do a good enough job as Amelia easily coined onto who her company was. Gran.

A groan escaped the brunette as she rose up onto her feet, her hands twitching as they rose to cover her face. She didn't want to be there. Not at all. "No, not again."

In every dream Amelia had there always seemed to be something happening, whether it be visions or a past acquaintance popping by to leave some cryptic message (or, that's what she hoped they were doing, it could also very well be that they were there only ever there to burden her mind even further than reality already was). She wasn't sure how many more of those dreams she could handle. All she wanted to do was rest, but even the escape of sleep wasn't available to her anymore. Peace had become a dream all in itself.

A hand fell onto Amelia's, though it didn't really feel like a human touch, it was more like static concentrated onto that part of her body. "Don't worry, it's just me this time," the elderly version of Amelia attempted to sooth, believing that that was why the younger brunette was so distressed.

"No offence, but you're like the last person I want to see right now," Amelia explained with a scoff, pulling her hand away from Gran to make her point clearer.

The aged brunette looked down to the floor that wasn't really there, her face becoming crestfallen whilst an accepting smile - that wasn't really there - lazied itself on her lips. "Yeah, I suppose I do deserve that," she concurred. But the agreement did nothing to appease the misplaced rage Amelia was feeling in that moment.

There was barely anything she could do to domesticate the determined anger as she stared at the woman who'd been her only friend for so long, the woman who had shown herself as a liar and a manipulator. Not a real friend. "You deserve more than just some words," Amelia scorned.

"Now I wouldn't go that far," Gran responded a little bit more high pitched, her chin multiplying as she pulled in her head, losing her understanding as she realised just _how_ angry Amelia was for her actions. Gran had expected a little bit more understanding from her past self. "What I did wasn't all bad."

Another scoff came from the brunette, another appalled expression, another wave of torrential anger. She slapped her hand against her chest, meeting Gran's eyes and displaying plain brown eyes surrounded by ever-reddening wet eyes. "You told me I needed to kill myself, that it was the only way I could save everyone." She took another step forward, she inhaled another breath of fiery rage, expulsed another deafening huff. "You made me disappoint Steve, and in the end, you did absolutely nothing to save all of our friends and family. I mean, for God's sake, how could you let that happen to Wanda? To T'challa? What the hell is wrong with you?!"

The eyes didn't leave her. All the eyes of her family, of her friends. All the eyes of the people that she'd let down, because of _Gran._ She was the one who'd twisted everything, who'd made her do what she did. She'd taken away the one thing Amelia held dear, _choice_. And by being there, in that dream, Gran was making it ever clearer that she still didn't have it, she was still just a pawn in whatever wicked future her older self was trying to create.

How could any future be good after all that had happened? How could her future self come back and make all of her family and friends turn to dust without any care? How could _she_ let that happen to all of the people that were so important to her?

"I should have known that's how you'd see things, I guess because I went through different experiences there's a schism in our perceptions," her voice turned blank as she spoke analytically and though there wasn't anything to actually fear about a simple twist in tone, Amelia still felt a bite of fear like frost kissing her skin. "We're the same people, but also very different."

"And you want to know the absolute worst part?" Amelia continued on, ignoring the tone because she couldn't allow herself to fall into the hole Gran's familiar tone had placed her in. She couldn't revisit that _pit_.

Yet, sometimes, there really seemed like there was nowhere left for her to go.

Gran went silent, hearing the break in Amelia's tone loud and clear, hearing it not in her tone but in her heart.

Amelia met Gran's gaze once again, trying to seem powerful and angry whilst her eyes displayed only weakness. Tears leaked out the corners, staining her pale cheeks.

It was strange for Gran to see herself like that. So… fragile.

Her hands clenched into fists and her teeth gritted together as she focused all the power she had into speaking her truth. "You're not here anymore," finally, she confessed. "You gave me two years with you, you became one of my closest friends, and then you left. You've created this big mess, and left me to pick up the pieces of this destroyed, fragmented, planet."

"No," Gran responded simply.

The elderly woman's words made Amelia freeze, the point-blank denial making her stumble slightly. It was said with that same simplicity which scared her. "What?"

"This planet is fine, this planet can still be saved," Gran explained with ease, her tone beginning to lilt, beginning to show emotion as she spoke further and talked about the world she was far more familiar with. "My earth was destroyed, was fragmented, but for this one there's still hope. Would you like to know why?" She stared hard at the brunette, at the person she felt was responsible for carrying the weight of the world, at herself. "Because now they have you."

Amelia was obviously intimidated with the way her older self was looking at her, unsure of if she should be the one to take such a weight. It made more sense for Steve to carry it, someone who had only ever been a light for the world, even when it was at its darkest, his light was still so bright. She was always changing, always going between glowing and dim, never able to be as consistent as her husband's spirit. Her insecurities displayed themselves in the way she looked away, eyes twitching between the elderly woman and the non-existent floor, unable to stay in one place.

Much like Amelia had done previously, in order to make her point more firm, Gran took a heavy step closer. "I came back in time to ensure you were on that battlefield, because it's on us when the world truly does lose its fight."

On 'us'? Amelia wasn't sure she could share that sentiment. It just felt like it was on herself. She wasn't able to see what Gran was, she wasn't able to see her future self as a different person entirely, she hadn't gone through whatever Gran had to make her feel like she was a separate person entirely from who she once was.

"What happened to you? To your world?"

A pause. A second of withdrawal, of second-guessing. Gran didn't know if she should show Amelia the truth then, or if she _could_. Time travel was so tricky.

But then she remembered her purpose, her only reason for continuing to exist. To make a difference.

"This." As she spoke, she held up her arms and conjured up a different world around them. Different, but familiar. A world built of fire and rust and dust. It was desolation in the flesh, a pile of bodies and broken buildings and floating pieces of dust that was once _something_. "A world that can only be saved by a Stark."

Amelia didn't respond, didn't display her shock or her appalled feelings. She just silently watched the fires flicker and the bodies of her fallen comrades lay still. Watching them, waiting for movement.

It was a replica of the vision Tony had been shown by Wanda all those years ago, except for one difference. She was not there with Steve, no longer wrapped safely in her arms even in death. He was alone, as were the rest of the fallen Avengers.

"Thanos won," Gran continued, taking Amelia's silence as an opportunity to further explain herself and the future that awaited her younger self, "the rest of the Avengers tried to help, but because of the tear you'd made between Steve, Tony, and the rest of the Avengers, it was practically hopeless. I remember always doubting myself around them, if only I'd seen the truth, if only I'd seen how much I had actually affected everyone. If the team had still been a team there could have been hope, you know?"

Amelia did not know because, ashamedly, she still couldn't really see how she benefited the team made of exclusively good hearts. She still only saw her own heart as black. As tainted.

"During the final battle do you know where we were? In that damn Beach hut, refusing that the world exists, not even completely aware that people had gone missing as you were so sheltered from the real world. No one tried to get into contact with you, Tony hated you, Steve thought isolation would be what was for the best, you'd pushed Nat away from you completely. You were all alone and numb from the world. The only true sign that things were happening was the pain you felt from the space stone as Thanos abused it."

Had that not been enough? Amelia wondered about herself, and as though Gran could hear that exact thought, she supplied an answer.

"But still, you didn't even care," the elderly woman revealed, causing an unexpected pain to erupt in her heart. She couldn't believe it. "The moment you felt the pain you begged for it to just... To just... Drown out the rest of the pain, until it was gone completely." Gran felt the same ache in her chest as she revisited those very dark times. "The isolation really hadn't been good for you, which is why my first step of the plan was to give you company."

It started to make sense. Gran's words creating a tapestry easily read. Amelia hadn't become that person because she'd had Gran there. She'd had a human being to push her to continue living, to make progress in her worn-out home, to adopt three lovely dogs that reminded her what the light could feel like. Gran was the Amelia that hadn't been able to have any of that.

"I... I wish I'd had that, because if I didn't then I wouldn't have…" Gran swallowed down the fervent emotions, wishing that she could put them back into the darkness as she had all those years ago. It wasn't just Amelia who was facing her demons. By going back in time and pushing Amelia to become someone _better_ , she'd had to make herself face those creatures too. It had been like stepping into her own personal hell, where all of her sins were placed before her.

"I eventually crawled my way from the beach hut, after discarding all of my emotions and deciding that the isolation was the best place for me, I put myself back into the naughty pit and doing such a thing could only ever lead to one thing," the words had broken free, her confession, the one thing she'd struggled with doing ever since making that decision to become unmake herself.

She remembered it so clearly, and she felt those regrets so passionately.

Gran had never asked to be it, nor had she wished to become it. Yet still, that was the form she'd ended up taking for so long. The brunette before her had no idea of the hideous creature made up of cracked skin and snarling voices that waited beneath her walls, wishing to be freed. A creature that was the only gift her 'father' ever gave her. Gran had stretched her skin, soul and heart until she'd filled every crevice of that monster, until she'd become the very creation her own father would fear.

Amelia's eyes widened as she realised what Gran was implying. It was the one thing Amelia could never imagine, and that was truly the difference between them. Whilst such an idea was implorable to Amelia, to Gran it had been the only option.

"You… You didn't." Amelia wasn't questioning, she was begging. It didn't even matter if what Gran said next was a lie, all she wanted to hear was that her future self hadn't made the decision to go back _there_. Her future self didn't say anything. "Gran please, tell me we didn't go back to being…"

"So many names," Gran responded with a maniacal laugh. Eyes drifting to the floor but looking further, looking into the future, into her past. "We've had so many names, and I don't know why but I always thought that once we gained a new one we completely abandoned the other, but I suppose we somehow did always find our way back to that name, to AS09."

Amelia swallowed, her chest suddenly feeling like a tonne of bricks because she thought the exact same thing.

"I didn't know it was happening at first, I just knew that he was dead and that the world was no longer the great place I'd first seen it as after leaving Hydra's hold," Gran closed her eyes tightly, her lips falling as her expression tightened, revealing wrinkles which displayed just how many years she'd endured, "in fact, I'd started to agree with Pierce."

"Wait a minute," Amelia raised a hand, choosing to focus on the most important part of Gran's words, "who died?"

The elderly woman winced, realising her slip-up. "I can't tell you yet," she responded guiltily, knowing full well that her past self wouldn't accept such an answer because even after all the changes Gran had personally gone through, she still held that hatred towards secrets.

"Yet?" Amelia retorted, far too calm.

Gran smiled at that, able to recognise the way Amelia was holding herself back. "Eventually, but not now, it's not the right time."

"When will be the right time?" Amelia pursued.

"When I see you becoming the person the world needs you to be, not the person that I became," Gran retorted, becoming grim towards the end of her statement.

"I wouldn't ever go back to being her," Amelia quickly argued back, so much ferocity and diligence held in her tone that made Gran's heart swell with pride.

"That's what I thought too," the elderly woman reminded, not revealing the flower of hope which had blossomed abruptly at Amelia's own fighting words. As Amelia opened her mouth to continue fighting, Gran directed the conversation back to the matter at hand, feeling her own presence beginning to slip away. "Anyway, so yeah, I was the big bad monster but all that changed when he showed up out of nowhere."

"Who?"

"A hero," she replied back, a soft smile taking mantel on her chapped lips. A smile so beautiful it could only mean one person.

"Who was it?"

It was too late. Her body had started to feel like the buzz of static, her presence losing its form. She needed to go, needed to recuperate before she visited her former self again. She looked up calmly, not showing any guilt because there was no point in such emotions when Gran really couldn't help what was happening. "I'm afraid we've run out of time."

Amelia growled before she even knew what she was doing, so frustrated with what was happening during her 'dream'. Straight answers would have been far more helpful than what her future self had provided. "You're a very difficult person to be around."

Gran rolled her eyes light-heartedly, crossing her arms across her chest. "Trust me, I learned the exact same thing about you during my stay at your beach hut."

"Just tell me one thing, is there really hope in what we are doing?" Amelia pursued, far more serious than Gran was. Another difference that was clear, whilst Gran had been able to experience everything already, Amelia was feeling the effects of their war much more raw.

"Well, I'm certainly hopeful," she responded sincerely. Gran's eyes automatically scanned over her counterpart, taking in every inch of Amelia, identifying all the things that differed from the way she was when she was Amelia's age. Amelia was able to stand on two feet, able to feel emotions, able to identify the truly important things, able to actually hope. "Already there are so many things different from my own timeline."

"And is that enough?"

"That all depends on you, I suppose." That was all Gran was able to give then as her body faded away, joining the dust that already rained down in the desolate world she'd conjured up, leaving Amelia to face a future she didn't want all alone.

"Wait, Gran," Amelia begged, raising a hand towards where her older self had once been standing, "Please don't go." Her words fell on non-existent ears as Gran had already disappeared, so instead, Amelia simply fell to the ground, far too close to her husband's unmoving body.

"Please."

* * *

 **A/N: I've just seen Spiderman and ALL I WANT TO DO right now is write the spiderboi fanfic which has been bubbling beneath my skin ever since Infinity War. But I must finish this first! I'm determined to get it done!**

 **All I'm going to say is get hyped, I've got a lot planned for that fic (it still doesn't have a title, I'm thinking 'Fear The Tide' but meh, probably not) and Far From Home has given me SO MUCH MORE. Though it will also be quite different because of the things I'm changing in Endgame. But shush, I can't get into that cause SPOILERS.**

 **TIME FOR REPLIES! I'm only replying to the reviews from the past two chapters, so sorry about that, but ya girl has got a life now (it sucks, but I recently bought some cute socks so that's pretty cool).**

 **To LoveFiction2019, no story truly ends, especially not Steve and Amelia's, I'm sure in all of my future works they will make an appearance. At least, with the marvel fanfictions.**

 **To Guest Nox, okay, I genuinely feel bad because I know I should have been replying to your reviews but I didn't know what to say. In my mind - and you're welcome to tell me I'm wrong - everything you say is more opinion and constructive criticism, it is how you've chosen to see this story. I think Tony's personality is very different, I think he tries more because he's had to undergo the guilt and horror of losing his entire family only to find out that one of them was still alive and he hadn't done enough to find them. He tried so hard for her, but Amelia didn't know any better when it came to being a sister to someone. It was just a title in her head. Loving Steve, being with him, that was what helped her escape AS09, Tony was an add-on. I KNOW I am way too cruel to Tony in this story, I try to make sure everyone sees that as well. As I've said, I love Tony and honestly I agree with you that he deserves SO MUCH BETTER, but this is the character, and I'm not going to make her into someone else to fit a preferred dialogue. She is a mess, she is a human and she is still learning. Endgame is the endgame for me too, this is the final part and this is the part I'm hoping to make the biggest difference with my characters. Oh, and I think you also brought up once that Cap and Tony aren't friends, again, I agree with you, but in this story, they've got one very important person in common. Steve is trying more (sorry if it doesn't seem that way, guess I'm a bad writer if that is the case) and Tony is... well, in my opinion, Tony's character wouldn't sway even for a narrator, that's how fixed in his ways he is, but I like to think there's the odd thing here and there that he forces himself to do in order to appease the sister he's wanted to make happy. I think personal experiences might make a difference here too, you have siblings that you've done this and that with, I do too, and in my head, this makes perfect sense. And that's that I guess... I worked really hard on wording this to make sure that you know I'm not offended by what you've said, your words gave me food for thought and have influenced parts of this story. There are always going to be places I can improve, I guess, just bear with me aha?**

 **To shugokage, thank you :)**

 **To Pitspee, I'm glad to hear it. It made sense to me too, but I admit that I'm not the best when it comes to family relationships. And honestly I've noted down 'It's the old cliche "everyone is different", and it's only a cliche because it's a prove fact of life' on my quotes for stories list because that shit was deep and very, very, true. I think you should have responded to the earlier reviewer because you were far more eloquent with your response. AND DON'T APOLOGISE FOR HAVING TOO MUCH TO SAY, PLEASE SAY MORE, YOU'RE SO INSIGHTFUL! (Also I know I said I wasn't going to respond to previous reviews but I kind of owe you because this chapter and future ones are only happening because of you, you made me think more of Gran and it inspired me with her background story, so yeah, thanks, like I said, you're very insightful)**

 **To xLaBellaVita, and sadly the three days upload is over, I'm weirdly upset about it. I wish I could write every day again like before, it's horrible having to wait a week. I'm very grateful that you're still sticking around, my anxiety and self-doubt has been going crazy so it's nice to have ya familiar face here.**

 **To Assbitch67, I'm glad the three days made you happy ^^ Though I'm hoping to have this story done by November, if not, I'm on holiday for two weeks at the start of it so I'm planning on writing like a mofo and getting as much out as possible. So, daily uploads WILL be a thing again, if only for a short while. AND OH IF YOU CAROL AND AMELIA ARE ICONIC NOW WAIT UNTIL YOU READ THE CHAPTER I JUST WROTE, THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL.**

 **Thanks to everyone that reviewed and read, you mean the world and so much more to me ;)**


	135. Chapter One-Hundred and Twenty-Seven

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-SEVEN**

* * *

"Maybe I am indestructible, it would be a fitting curse."

― **Unknown**

* * *

They were in space. Space! The final frontier! Amelia had always wanted to go to space, to touch the lights that had graced her eyes and her soul for so long. Finally, she was there in the place that had always gone beyond human understanding, much like her own self. Yet, her eyes only seemed fixated on the still hands in her lap. Even after Rocket had turned off the metaphorical seatbelt sign, she'd just remained in her seated.

Amelia's mind had become plagued once more, analysing everything that Gran had said the night before. She hadn't even been able to enjoy the start of their journey, their first steps into space because of the new obsession that had taken priority.

Steve wasn't able to share that sentiment, every part of their latest journey far too new to not stir the inside of his stomach. Also unlike Amelia, distractions had been forced on him as they closed in on the planet they suspected Thanos was hiding on. He had duties as a leader that needed attending to.

But Amelia's behaviour certainly hadn't gone unnoticed. It actually made him grateful to be in the metal box hurtling through one part of the universe he'd never been able to imagine himself exploring (he'd never wanted to either, he was content enough to have Amelia and the universe that had been captured in her eyes), because at least it meant he didn't have to stray too far from his girl. Steve took every chance he could to glance over at her, expression obviously concerned. It was all he could do as she'd kindly rejected every offer he'd given to talk about whatever had disturbed her sleep.

Because of his repetitious and obvious behaviour, Nat, who was sat beside Steve, had also started to peer over to the brunette, taking in both the soldiers perturbed hurried looks and the barely disguised doleful expression Amelia wore. After ten more minutes of enduring Steve persistently distracting himself from the tactical plan they were creating, it became impossible for her to _not_ comment on the matter.

"How are you feeling?" Nat asked the question casually enough to not inspire any suspicion from the soldier at her side.

He swiftly turned his eyes away from Amelia, looking back to the tablet in his hand, doing his best to seem more like the professional team leader he needed to be for the Avengers. He tapped mindlessly against the tablet. "To be honest with you, I'm mostly surprised that I haven't got travel sickness right now."

Natasha nodded her head in agreement, "yeah, as long as I don't stare out of the windows for too long I'm able to cope." Steve hummed in agreement, only able to last a few seconds before his eyes were instinctively drawn back to his wife. That was exactly the opening Natasha had been waiting for. "What about Amelia?" The super spy inquired, "come to think of it, she's been more quiet than usual."

That time, he was able to look at his lover openly and he took the opportunity fully for granted. His expression melted to convey what only his eyes had been able to show previously. Worry. That was all he felt towards his lover in that moment, the purest form of worry. "I think she had a bad dream last night, she hasn't really been herself since waking up."

He didn't actually _think_ it was about a dream, he _knew_ it was because of one. He'd woken up during the early hours of the morning and found his wife writhing in his arms, crying out in her sleep and reaching out one arm as tears slid messily down her cheeks. Steve had learnt from previous experiences to not bother with trying to wake her up, it only led to further dissociation issues. Amelia needed to crawl out of her own mind independently. So he'd just held her as tightly as he could, trying to pass on his physical touch into her dreams. She'd always seemed to find comfort in touch, and in that moment, it was all he could provide.

Eventually, her eyes had slipped open. She'd stared at him blankly at first, unsure of if she was actually awake or just moving onto another dream, an actual _dream_ , where it was just her and Steve. Reality set in soon and then she got out of bed. When Steve asked what she'd seen, she mumbled a barely audible response and got ready for the day, even though it wouldn't start until two hours later. She busied herself in the training room, pushing her body beyond its limits and when Steve made a second attempt to talk to her about what had happened, she'd merely pushed him to assist her. He held the punching bag, he wore the gloves, he timed her laps. He did everything he could to support her, and during thirty-minute intervals he would ask again, 'what did you see?'

She never answered, so by the time they got onto the space ship, he knew how futile it would be to ask a hundredth time.

Steve let her be. He held her hand, he rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb, he kissed her forehead before leaving her side, and then he repeatedly checked on her wellbeing from afar. Sometimes that was all he could do. When it came to someone like Amelia, who had gone through so many damaging experiences, the best possible thing a person could do was let them know they weren't alone. It didn't offer a solution, but it gifted one star of light amongst dark bleakness.

"At least she's able to dream," Natasha offered as a retort.

"I wish that was the case," Steve sighed, not taking offence from Natasha's words because she simply didn't understand and he knew Amelia would see it as the same way. Despite the years they'd spent apart, it was clear from the very first night when they'd reunited that one thing hadn't changed. When Amelia dreamt, it was never good. It was never truly a dream, it was always a vision of some kind, or an unwanted message, or _something else_. He proceeded to explain that to Nat without delving too much into his wife's personal information. "Amelia has always had trouble with her dreams, sometimes I don't even know why we call them dreams when they always just seem to be nightmares."

Nat frowned, realising her slip-up and feeling slightly guilty for it. It wasn't exactly news that Amelia harboured some damages. Nat could at least understand that as there were some recompenses from her own past that had stayed and would never leave. "Well, hopefully, it will all be over soon."

"I sure hope so." His chest heaved as he let out a heavy breath, as though he'd just done an hour of radical exercises. His emotions certainly had as they jumped between worrying about Amelia and worrying about what the result of their next fight would be. He turned to Rocket and Nebula who were sat at the helm of the spaceship, inquiring, "have we heard anything from Danvers yet?"

Rocket turned to face the Captain, shaking his head from side-to-side. "Not yet, but considering she's searching through an entire planet I'm willing to give her time." Cap raised his head towards the Racoon's behaviour, still not completely used to the animal speaking to him with such distaste and sass held in each and every syllable. It would have made sense if he could see the creature as an alien, but all his eyes ever saw was the same animal he'd once found going through the trash behind the Avenger's base as he'd brought out his and Amelia's rubbish, only to be chased back inside as it began to growl. Funnily enough, Rocket seemed to portray the same aggressiveness his Earth counterpart had on that very traumatising night.

"Looks like we've still got some time then," Nat spoke up, and when Steve turned back to face her, he found her possessing a sly expression which made him want to run away as much as the angry racoon had. She turned fully to face him, placing down the tablet she'd previously been busy on, "maybe now you can tell me what went on it that house."

He swallowed. "What do you mean?" He knew exactly what she meant.

Natasha knew that Steve knew exactly what she meant. "I mean, clearly _something_ has occurred, or do you just have a chain wrapped around your wedding finger because of an accident?"

"Why are you even asking if you already know the answer?" He responded, managing to give an answer without actually _giving_ an _answer_. It was a skill he'd learnt from her.

"To be polite," she countered back, the two engaging in a quick tennis match where the ball was knocked back into the others court fluidly and tediously.

"I'm not going to announce anything until both me and Amelia agree on it," he said, attempting to end the conversation there.

She shuffled closer, moving onto the edge of her seat. "Telling your best friend a secret is hardly making an announcement."

"You know too many secrets already, I'm sure you'll last not carrying one more," he teased, making her roll her eyes but he just smirked in response, there was no way she'd be able to break her spirit and it was obvious she was beginning to realise it. He was still on edge, knowing better than anyone that Nat, as a super-spy, had her ways of pulling information from people.

"Does Amelia know she married such a tease?"

"I'm not sure what you're talking about, Romanoff." He raised his own eyebrow up, matching his friend's own expression with ease, the same way he matched her in their little fight.

"You two aren't talking about me, are you?" Amelia's interaction was unexpected but not unwelcome. They both looked up to her with warm smiles, happy to see her not just staring off into the distance quietly. Steve's body automatically called out to her, one hand going out and when her own hand was pulled towards his, he took the opportunity to gently drag her all the way onto his lap where she could sit comfortably against his chest.

"No," Stee quickly argued, not feeling like they should bother bringing her into the dispute that he'd clearly resolved. The answer to Natasha's question was obvious, she wouldn't get an answer until they were ready to tell everyone else.

"Yes," the red-head-turned-blonde said over the soldier, not so easily accepting his response because she'd been there as they fell in love and even pushed it along, as far as Nat was concerned she was a very important part of their relationship, so important that she deserved to know any serious steps forward they'd taken. No, actually, she deserved to be a part of any serious steps taken. "We're talking about how you two just got married without your best friend, maid of honour, and first-ever supporter of your relationship, at your side."

Amelia scoffed. She might have gotten away with the scoff, might have actually sounded convincing if she hadn't done it more than ten times, her eyes repeatedly switching between Steve and Nat, her eyes blatantly panicked whilst her expression forced on something that might have been relaxation. "Married?" Another two scoffs. "I've no idea what you're talking about, Romanoff."

"Wow," Natasha sang, nodding her head slowly, clearly very unconvinced, "did you two rehearse your answers beforehand?"

"She's here." Rocket announced as a glowing light began to filter through the large front window of the jet. The change was instant. They all stood up and moved over to the window to face Danvers as she floated back up to greet them. "Well? Is he there?"

"He is." Danvers responded, but she didn't look pleased and the reason for why become clear as she continued speaking, "but there are no satellites, no ships, no armies, no ground defences of any kind, it's just him."

From beside Amelia, Nebula nodded her head, her grim expression showing she was the only one on that spaceship who understood the threat presented. "And that's enough."

Amelia's eyes fell on the blue alien with a sadness that didn't make clear the anger that had begun to burn inside of her. She pitied Nebula. She ached for her as well. No one should ever hold such fear over a family member, that's what Tony had taught her. As far as she'd been aware for the first twenty years of her life, family was just another word for fear. Then she met Tony, and despite the rough starts (and the obvious bumps), he had taught her what family truly was supposed to be.

"No." Her voice was loud, determined and ferocious. It portrayed power she didn't really possess, not like she once had. It was a different sort of power. It was the power every survivor possessed, a confidence and belief in her own worth that Amelia hoped Nebula would be able to find. Everyone turned to look at her then, each one drawn to the strength she portrayed as though she was a lighthouse guiding fearful strangers to their destination.

For a moment her eyes were drawn to someone else, to Thor, the only Avenger who had remained seated. Though his eyes had been fixed on the planet before, they flitted over to hers, their fires matching as the weight of the entire universe fell on both of them. They had come the closest to defeating Thanos before and they'd failed miserably. Never again.

Then she looked forward, passed Carol, to the planet beyond them, to Thanos. "He's made a very grave mistake, and now he's going to pay a very grave price."

It appeared in that moment. It was just a flash. An unnoticeable, tiny, twinkle.

It was the appearance of a star glimmering against her dark pupils.

It was a force calling out from her darkest depths, a power that should never be doubted.

* * *

Thanos had found exactly what he'd been looking for in that garden. The life of a God, of someone bigger and beyond the dramas of day to day life, of wars and death and general life. He was free in that Garden to thrive as ordinary, which after living such a long and tedious life, he realised that ordinary was exactly what burdened gods seeked.

He'd spent his day walking through the fields, enjoying the calmness that had swept over his perfect little planet whilst he harvested his meal for that day. There was no other life as far as he was concerned so he got the fruits that grew from the ground and took them home. He didn't mind having to eat them, they were sweet, whenever he tasted them he liked to whisper a pun in the back of his mind that they tasted exactly how his victory felt.

For twenty-one days, Thanos had been at peace, barely even thinking about all those enemies he'd left defeated on Earth, only concentrating on the safety he knew the universe was once again put in thanks to him. He was a true hero. Successful, invincible, inevitable.

That day, he was trying something new with the fruits his Garden bared. He'd decided to put them in a stew along with some of the other herbs he'd been able to find out in the open. It was going to be a good day, he'd told himself that mantra every other day. The loneliness didn't even affect him anymore, it was too hidden by his successes.

As he finished preparing his iron pot with all the ingredients he hoped would produce a wonderful meal, he grabbed a hold of it's handle with one arm - the other dragging limply at his side - and began to walk it over towards the fire he'd set up in his little hut.

It was a place he'd built himself, made of bland wood and hay. It was habitable enough, but it held no identity. It was simply a building with no story. The temple he had built himself as a shrine for a god, a hero, was nothing more than a simple hut hidden away from those he'd saved.

The fire crackled and he couldn't wait to get his latest creation on top of the hob. He sat down before it, watching as bubbles began to rise and pop. Rise, and pop. Rise, and pop. Those were the only sounds his senses picked up until a few moments later there was a strange sound coming from the outdoors. His gaze lifted up to his roof, where the sky would be, his warrior's mind suspicious of the uplifted wind.

His suspicions were proven right as a burst of light poured in, breaking apart the meager hay and reaching him. Immediately he raised up his gauntlet, the adamantium able to interrupt the powerful beam being shot in his direction.

Thanos thought some sort of powerful laser was being shot from an enemy ship at first, but then that suspicion was disproved as a single figure dressed in red, blue and yellow launched into his home. The figure launched him backwards, knocking his senses for a moment and when he finally got them back he saw the blur of a human figure rushing once more towards him.

Their body, her body, climbed around his. Powerful limbs wrapped around his throat, causing him to cry out in anguish. Their foot pushed against his gauntlet, keeping his hand down. When he tried to raise it, tried to grab a hold of whatever enemy that had managed to get a hold of him, the floor below him suddenly burst open. Fiery coals were launched in his direction, the splintered wood eventually revealing the first familiar thing he'd seen. A giant iron body which clutched onto his hand and didn't release him.

He tried to move his other arm, to swat away the burdens like they were just flies, but another figure broke through his perfect sanctuary and grabbed a hold of it. He was spread open. Vulnerable. He cried out. Thanos willed his strength to appear, but it was quite bad timing as he'd earlier undergone an extreme process that had drained him considerably. No one knew that though.

The next figure to break into his home was the most damning. It was the sound which gave him away to Thanos, which caused his spine to shiver underneath the looming threat. He heard metal whip wind, then a crack as his wooden walls broke apart.

The next thing he knew, his arm was on the floor.

Thor had done it. He had cut off Thanos' arm, taking away the only opportunity the God had, had to even stand a chance against their team.

It all happened so quickly, but that was exactly what the Avenger's had planned. Just like they always said they would, they'd done as they planned and brought the dangerous enemy to his knees, powerless. Usually, by that point, it was safe to assume they'd won.

Much more formally, the rest of the team stepped in through the doorway. Steve lead Natasha and Amelia inside. All of them stared down at the monster with heavy gazes, their humanity and decency abandoned for a moment as every individual in that room wanted the Titan dead. They wanted him to pay as much as possible. Even then, it wouldn't have been good enough to repay the vengeance most of the human harboured to the self-proclaimed God.

They'd won though, that was the most important fact in that moment. They'd ripped victory from the clutches of defeat, just like they always did.

That's what all the Avengers in that room chose to believe.

Yet, the moment Amelia stepped foot into Thanos' little hut, something felt… not right. She couldn't put her finger on it at first. Their plan had worked. Thanos was useless in his condition, surrounded by powerful foes with his one weapon lost. She should have felt victorious, but something was _missing_. She looked around, trying to coin onto what it was. There was nothing in sight.

Then, she searched her heart. The answer laid there, right in front of her, both metaphorically and physically in the form of his amputated limb. She couldn't feel the force of the space stone, even after being reunited with it. Amelia knew that she should have been able to sense it, even if would have just been like a tiny prick against her skin, she'd had too much of a close relationship with the infinity stone for her to just not be able to feel anything around it.

"Steve," she whispered warily, not completely giving up hope as her heart yearned to hold onto it for a little longer.

Her husband turned to face her, his eyebrows drawing together as he saw a wetness in her eyes Amelia hadn't even realised was beginning to unfold. The truth was so powerful Amelia was unable to deny it.

Behind them, Rocket had scurried in and approached the gauntlet first. That was his priority and the key to getting his own family back. He turned it over, and the very sight drew all the oxygen from his lungs. "No."

First Amelia, then Rocket. After hearing so much doubt, Steve began to feel it's frost curl his very veins. Much like the rest of the teams, his eyes were drawn to the gauntlet they'd worked so hard to get. What they found wasn't just heartbreaking, it was world-destroying. It was everything the Avengers had been fighting for, shattered before their very eyes.

Amelia didn't know what to think, what to feel. It was like she'd become stone, her consciousness locked away, witnessing what was happening and completely unable to react.

She'd been telling everyone to be hopeful, to keep fighting, to keep believing. What had it been for in the end? Another failure?

"Where are they?" Steve questioned, unwilling to accept what Amelia _knew_. It had been obvious the day she felt the power of the space stone leave her body.

When Thanos simply continued to growl, Danvers tightened her elbow around his neck, completely unafraid to be so close to the monster that had caused so much devastation around the universe. "Answer the question," her voice was soft, yet an underlying threat of destruction trembled beneath it. Amelia looked to the blonde, wondering if she should have held the same fight, but even as the jealous thought riddled her mind, she couldn't rid her body of the utter defeat cracking her every bone.

Thanos heaved, fighting for oxygen as his weakened body was quite affected from the onslaught the Avengers had thrown at him. He tried not to let it show, tried to be his old self, the God who knew right whilst those beneath him were only able to see the meagre wrong. "The universe required correction, after that, the stones served no purpose beyond temptation," he started to explain, only to be interrupted once more.

"You murdered trillions!" Bruce yelled out, displaying a fit of anger that should have scared everyone as usually it threatened the Hulk's appearance. But in that moment, it was all Bruce. That rage, that sorrow, it all belonged to him. Or maybe, it belonged to the both of them.

Out of spite, he used the strength his Hulkbuster armour gave him and threw Thanos back down, making the Titan which had once dominates them nothing more than a weakling that looked up towards the group of superheroes.

"You should be grateful," Thanos argued back immediately, only to be met by a swift punch from the vengeful Bruce Banner.

Nat took one step closer, showing more movement than Amelia was able to conjure up, also displaying more emotion as her breaths were heavy, her chest heaving. Amelia couldn't tell whether it was sadness or anger, because whilst her eyes became wet, her eyebrows were drawn in a hard gaze. "Where are the stones?"

"Gone," Thanos responded.

Gone.

One word.

Just one word, yet it had the power to make Amelia feel like there was no strength left in her. Perhaps there never had been.

"Reduced to atoms."

Without the space stone, what was she? What had she been fighting for? _How_ had she been fighting? All of her powers came from the space stone, she couldn't be anything without them. They were gone. She should have been gone too, had Gran not forced her to stay then she would be.

"You used them two days ago," Bruce argued back, one of the many who refused to accept what he said. Amelia just stood in the background, trying to come to terms with what she had truly already known but refused to acknowledge.

"I used the stones to destroy the stones," the Titan explained further, rising up slightly as he felt a rise in his spirit from being able to defeat his enemies own drive, "it nearly killed me, but the work is done."

Amelia cried. She felt weak, and so, she cried. The tears that she'd been hiding from everyone finally abandoned where they'd been stored behind her eyes, silently dancing down her cheeks.

"It always will be," he continued, malice and hatred and pride mixing together, the pride coming out the strongest as he said with clenched teeth: "I am inevitable."

Rhodey shook his head, seeing his team silently taking in the news and joining Bruce's side of refusing to accept the news. "We have to tear this place apart, h- he has to be lying."

"No, he's not," Amelia's empty words fell into the room like particles of dust, so light and airy, "there's a reason why I've become so weak, why I've lost my powers, because it simply doesn't exist anymore."

Her eyes had been fixed on the Titan she'd faced and conversed with before, fixed on the _monster_ that had torn her whole world apart. And after she'd spoken, his eyes became fixed on her too.

It took him a moment to recall her, he'd seen so many faces that day of the final battle, but she'd definitely been a hard one to forget. "You… I remember you."

"Shut up." Steve's jaw visibly tightened and he moved an inch, not towards Thanos, but towards Amelia, so he could stand in the way of the Titan's eyesight. After what had happened the last time Thanos and Amelia had interacted, he didn't even want them to look at each other.

"You were very brave on the battlefield, sacrificing yourself like that, it was very noble, very strong," Thanos began to recall, ignoring the soldier, labelling him as insignificant the same way he had during their first plan. "I think you might have come the closest to ruining my plan."

Thor glared at him, knowing his words were meant as an insult to him as much as they were false praise to the brunette.

"Hey, I said _shut up_ ," Steve repeated, his words becoming more of a threat.

Amelia was simply staring blankly, holding no care for the Titan's words, still too lost in the realisation that all she'd been fighting for - and all she'd been pushing others to fight for - was a lost cause. Thanos might have been a false god, but she was a false hero, unworthy of even being in the Avengers. It was so obvious. After what she'd done to Tony, to her friends, there was truly nothing good in Amelia. Perhaps it was AS09 that was inevitable. Gran had certainly suggested so.

"I had a nightmare about you once," he began to recall, transfixed on the brunette despite all the people that surrounded them, "when my plan starting coming into fruition, you appeared in my dreams, but now I realise that it wasn't you, it must have been the space stone." Amelia didn't respond, but her silence was her answer for him. "I'm right, aren't I?" Thanos nodded his head slowly, eyes flickering to the ground in what could have easily been read as disappointment before he looked back up to her. He cocked his head to the sound. "It confused me at first, why you were so much different to the entity I saw in that nightmare. You were so much more _weak_ , so much more-"

His words had been an infection that needed to be stopped, and so they were.

Steve had gone to do so first, even Carol had made a move towards him. But neither of them had made it in time to stop the God of Thunder from throwing down his axe and thoughtlessly cutting the head off of the Titan.

It was over in a matter of seconds, and it felt so wrong.

"Thor!" Amelia's shrill voice filled the expanse of that second as she watched his every moment, witnessing the swift cut of his axe going through the thick neck of the Titans, even watching as the head rolled on the floor, expression becoming vacant as death sucked all emotion and life from him. Her eyes remained on that head for a second or two, her mouth hanging open as her fractured mind attempted to process the sight before her. It failed. All she could do was helplessly look back at the thunder God, her eyes blinking rapidly, trying to repress the tears that fell without any care to their owners wants and needs. "What- What have you done?"

"I told you before Little Stark," he expressed, tone hard and domineering, "we _failed_."

"No, no we can't have," she refused as he began to walk away. Her eyes followed him and her legs attempted to do the same. She only managed to walk a couple of steps before her body fell to the ground, only saved from a damaging crash landing by her husband's arms which wrapped around her.

He was always there to support her, which meant she had to be supportive too. Not just for Steve. She needed to be supportive for everyone. She needed to feel hope. She needed to _be_ hope.

Why was it so difficult? She couldn't understand it.

They were the Avengers, they never failed.

Amelia looked up to Steve, the very sight of her defeated expression destroying his heart. Not just shattering it, but turning it to dust.

"We always find a way, right, Steve?" He didn't respond, having no answers that he could give his lover. He couldn't lie to her. She looked around to everyone else. No one met her eyes. Nebula was too busy crouching beside her father's head, foreign emotions confusing her.

"There's always another way, right? Right?"

Silence followed.

 **A/N: We're getting so close to the five-year skip... NOW IS YOUR CHANCE TO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT TO KNOW HAPPENED IN IT? I have the odd flashback planned but I don't really go into detail with it. Your opinions would be greatly appreciated!**

 **To BuckyBarnes07, hello again, I'm happy to hear that you're enjoying the story still**

 **To Pitspee, Jonathan's role doesn't really matter in this part, but in other stories he's quite detrimental to some plots, and that's all I'm going to say on the matter. That line was hella deep, feel free to shoot more words of wisdom my way ahah. And stop, you're so creative and inspire me, just accept that you're amazing.**

 **To LoveFiction2019, thanks for always reviewing, it means a hell of a lot.**

 **I hope to see some more reviews from you guys, not to seem needy or anything but your words are the fuel I use to motivate myself.**

 **Thanks to all the peeps that simply read as well.**


	136. Chapter One-Hundred and Twenty-Eight

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-EIGHT**

* * *

"Living means knowing sadness. Use that sadness to sharpen the fangs of your heart."

― **Chirin No Suzu**

* * *

They were in space. Space. The final frontier. Final, indeed.

The team was returning home to Earth defeated. The war was over and they had lost. But the defeat wasn't the worst part, their own injuries were meaningless compared to all of the remaining lives in the universe that they'd let down, as well as all the lives passed that they'd failed to bring back.

Such a thing as hope was a whistle in the wind, and in that moment they just so happened to be in a place where there wasn't any.

Those with enough spirit and desperation left in them tried to articulate another plan. Every hour or so Nat would come up with something, only to have the plan be crumbled either by herself or someone pointing out an obvious flaw. Most of the team had resigned themselves to wallowing in silence and regret.

Amelia and Steve had sat together, the brunette on his lap, her arms around his waist and her head resting in the crook of his neck, facing away from Thor.

He hadn't looked at her since what had happened with Thanos, nor had he actually spoken to anyone else on the team. Both Steve and Bruce had made fruitless attempts to engage with him, but all he wanted was isolation.

The flight home could have been hours but it just passed by in a haze of melancholy. The ship landed and the group flumped their way out of the ship. As per usual, Steve and Amelia were stuck at each other's sides, exiting the jet together with their hands intertwined.

Amelia's eyes met Pepper's as she was exiting. The strawberry blond was clearly waiting to hear some good news to take back to Amelia's brother.

If only she had some good news to give.

Amelia shook her head and Pepper's expression melted into sorrowful horror, her hands rising to cover her mouth as she was hit by the exact same emotions that cursed the Avengers during their journey home. Amelia was forced to look away at that point. It wasn't possible for the guilt to get any worse, but that didn't mean she was any better at coping with its long term effects.

As her eyes swerved away from one blonde, they landed on another.

Onto Carol Danvers, a hero Amelia would never admit had actually been plaguing her mind during most of the journey home. She'd decided she needed to have a conversation with Danvers and was realising there was no better time than the present. No better time, because she did not have the patience to wait any longer. Much like Nat, Amelia was determined to figure out the best way to fix things as quickly as possible. Though, unlike most of her best friends own ideas, any plots that built up in her muddled brain were sole missions.

Amelia gave a light squeeze to Steve's hand as she stopped walking. He paused too, turning to look at her with a soft expression, a thin veil that compressed all of his anguished emotions. "You go on ahead, I'll be in soon," she whispered, voice hoarse due to its lack of use. Steve didn't move. It looked like he wasn't even thinking about it. He didn't want her to be alone… _he_ didn't want to be alone. Realising that he was taking no action to do as she'd requested, Amelia pushed out her hand encouragingly. "Steve, I'll be in soon."

His chest heaved with a sigh, showing his reluctance clearly and making Amelia feel a little bad and a little reluctant herself. It would have been so easy to follow him all the way back to their bedroom where they could have embraced one another and remained as intertwined bodies until the weight of the world became easier to bear. But, the truth was that sitting on their hands was only going to permit the weight to get heavier. They were at breaking point, even just a feather would make their cracked figures crumble. What they needed was some glue, something that would give them a little bit more strength, and Amelia believed that Danvers had the possibility of being that glue.

"If you're not back in an hour, I'm going to come looking for you," Steve explained.

Amelia rolled her eyes, making an attempt at light-heartedness, "so you mean thirty minutes?"

"No," he argued back, suddenly pulling her towards him. The moment her body was against his, he released her hand so that he could put his arms around her waist, pulling her as close as possible. He kissed the tip of Amelia's nose, making her eyes flutter shut. "I mean ten minutes."

It felt strange, having Steve be so intimate with her, it almost felt wrong, the world had fallen apart and rather than do something about it, they were holding hands and doing Eskimo kisses. Yet, it was exactly what the two of them needed to do, it felt so right. The world had crumbled apart, families had been torn apart and epic love stories lost, but they had each other, their story got to go on and they needed to be grateful for that.

Amelia released a short chuckle as they began to part ways, but she only managed to make it two steps before her heart pulled her back. "Steve," she called out, making him stop as well.

"Yeah?" He asked after a moment of her simply staring over at him.

"I really am grateful to have you," she admitted, for a moment, reminding herself of where she would have been, _who_ she would have become, were it not for Steve's presence in her life.

He smiled over her humbling words, eyes falling down almost shyly at her kind words. He'd sorely needed to hear them after everything they'd gone through. Her words were a beacon of light which cast out the shadows of self-doubt that had been nibbling on his self-worth. He felt his heart being lifted ever-so-slightly and he couldn't ignore that it was down to her. His wife. She was his glue. "I love you, Freckles."

"Yeah you do," she joked back.

Neither of them made any sort of movement after that, knowing that if they held each other again than they wouldn't be able to let go. Instead of going to embrace her, he lifted a finger and pointed it in her direction. "An hour," he reminded, "slash, ten minutes."

Amelia nodded in agreement before turning back around and walking towards Danvers who'd remained outside on the field. At the time of Amelia's approaching, Danvers concentration had been on some sort of panel attached to the wrist of her suit, until she heard the sound of Amelia's feet shuffling through the dying grass.

"Hey," Amelia greeted uncomfortably.

It was obvious from how she'd been treating the newcomer to the group that she felt awkward around Danvers. There was just _something_ that recoiled Amelia. There wasn't actually anything wrong with Danvers. The woman was powerful, strong in mind, spirit and heart. In Amelia's eyes, Danvers was perfect, and that was the problem. Danvers was everything Amelia wanted to be.

"Hello," Danvers greeted back, swishing her head in a way that tossed her long golden locks out of her face.

A stretch of silence followed as neither had small talk that they really wanted to engage in. They weren't friends and Danvers got the sense that Amelia didn't even want her as an acquaintance. The brunette was definitely the most difficult Avenger to get a good read on. The confusion mostly came from how everyone had described her beforehand. They'd told Danvers that Amelia was one of their most powerful comrades, yet after meeting her, it seemed she was just another fragile body with tragedy tainting her blood. She'd given Amelia every opportunity she could to prove herself, but still, the only times that Amelia showed true power was in her spirit. Sometimes that could be enough. Not that time.

"I'm going to need you to shoot me," Amelia said, revealing the purpose of their conversation.

Danvers was a hard person to surprise, not just because she was constantly on edge, but also because there wasn't much she hadn't seen or heard. Yet, Amelia's request gained slightly widened eyes and a quirked eyebrow. "I- What? What did you just say?"

Amelia's expression remained unperturbed even in the face of Danvers shock. In her mind, the question was perfectly reasonable and actually quite important. "Shoot me," she repeated, simplifying her request with regards to her words, but not with the meaning.

Danvers shook her head, slow at first, becoming quicker as she was still unable to make complete sense of what the brunette was asking of her, seen as the reality of what would happen was such a permanent ending there _had_ to be a deeper meaning, but since Danvers couldn't find that, there was only one answer for her to possibly give: "I'm not going to do that."

A growl crawled out of Amelia's throat, that spirit Danvers respected so much making another appearance. "Look, I can sense it in you, the power that I had before Thanos took it from me." The crack that appeared in her voice made her realise that perhaps it was too soon. Perhaps she was too vulnerable already to be tearing apart her own insides in order to make Danvers see her point. Within her messy, fractured, mindset, Amelia couldn't see any other way to go about it though. "That power, call it what you want, the tesseract, the space stone, the power of the stars, I used to have all of that and I sorely need it back."

"I see," Danvers replied with a calmness that opposed the riot beating like a war drum inside Amelia's chest. The blonde crossed her arms over her chest and put most of her weight on one leg. "So, because the space stone has been destroyed, I'm your final hope?"

Despite the fact that Danvers summary of her situation was said so doubtfully - like she was trying to make Amelia realise how crazy she sounded - Amelia still gave a firm nod. "Now you're getting it."

"The answers still no," she responded immediately, the swiftness of her reply making it very obvious to Amelia that she hadn't even given thought to the other option. "If I shoot you with my powers, I'll turn you to ash."

The brunette's eyes sharpened, but because of her pale and plain demeanour, it looked more like she was wincing. "Don't you dare doubt me like that," she huffed, sick and tired of being seen as weak, of being so weak that she couldn't even stop Thanos in the first place. If she had, then none of them would be in the mess they were in. "I used to be able to tear entire fucking cities apart, I can take a little hit off of you-"

To interrupt her rant and stop the woman from getting too emotional, Danvers shot out a beam of power which hit inches away from Amelia's feet. The only reaction she got from the brunette was her looking down, though Amelia hadn't actually made any move to jump away which made Danvers a little bit curious. The fact that Amelia has stood unflinching meant she was either really brave, or really stupid. Or, perhaps what Amelia was saying was true, perhaps at one point, she really had been indestructible. It didn't matter by that point though, because as far as Danvers could see, the girl before her was only one thing.

"You see that?" Danvers pointed to the smoking grass, the already decaying threads of grass nothing but blackened ash on the floor sparked with tiny flames. "That's what will happen to you now that you're just human, so like I said, _no_."

"Just human." She spat the words out disgusted. "Just fucking human."

Amelia Stark had never been human. For as long as she could remember, she was always something more. A monster, a weapon, an angel, a demon. A destroyer, a giver. She was always something more than human. It felt like she'd been demoted down to the people she'd risked her life to save, the weak ones who couldn't fight.

There was a tiny part of her situation Amela was able to find funny. She'd never looked down on other humans, never pointed out that they were weak because as far as she was concerned, no human was weak. But when it came to her, all she could do was judge herself, label herself as pitiful for becoming what every other person on the planet was.

Ashamedly, she heard the remnants of Alexander Pierce's voice in the back of her head. He was the one who'd made her more and he would be so disappointed to see what she'd ended up becoming.

Amelia clenched her eyes shut, suddenly afraid of showing any signs of weakness. It burned the back of her eyes and scorched her throat. She feared it. She feared being stuck as just human. "Don't say that to me like I don't know. You don't think I know? You don't think I can feel every atom in my body and all the emptiness my powers have left behind?"

Her breath had started to quicken and she took another step forward towards Danvers, moving so close that the blonde was in touching distance and then she did something that she never would have done if she was sane in her mind. She jutted out her hand and shoved against the woman's shoulder. Her weak touch didn't do anything, but Danvers moved with it anyway, probably out of sympathy.

"I can't stay like this Danvers, I can't be this, I can't be this useless. I have an entire team of people who are currently giving up and I can't let that happen. I'm supposed to do more than this, I'm supposed to fight and do more and be able to- to- I don't know, I just need to be able to stop this, to give them hope and- I can't-"

"Hey, calm down."

"No!" She screamed, raging, crying, sobbing. Who was she? So many names, and what had they been for? None of them could save her from the reality before her. There was no Artemis she could run to. No AS09 she could hide behind. Amelia had become a cursed name, an angel that had fallen. "The worlds gone to shit and I should have been able to do more!" She shoved against Danvers' shoulder once more, then again, and again. Soon she was punching against the woman and Danvers was just taking it, offering more insult than comfort because it only made it clearer to Amelia how much more ineffective she'd become. "I don't know you and you don't know me but we both come from the space stone and I need that power back okay! I need it to save them! To protect them! That's why I'm here!"

"Amelia-"

"I have to- I have to save them- I have to bring them back and I need to just- I have to- I can't- This isn't my purpose, this isn't what I was made for-" _Made for_. It always came back to that she supposed. She couldn't understand an existence without some sort of purpose. She'd always had one. She'd always had a mission.

Yet when it mattered most, she'd failed.

It didn't make sense.

Or maybe it did.

"I can't become her again. If I can't do this, then that must mean I'm only good enough to be her." To be Gran, to be AS09, to be the monster. She could not save lives, but she'd always been capable enough to take them away.

She was sobbing, her anguished cries louder than a thunderstorm. There was no reality, just her emotions, just battering waves and collapsing stars and crumbling mountains.

It was quite freeing. She'd never been able to be so emotional before out of fear of her powers. The pain had always brought the dark side of them out.

"Give me my powers! Give me my fucking-"

Danvers had had enough of being hit repeatedly. She'd allowed it to go on in order to supply the hurt brunette some respite but it was becoming increasingly obvious that simply being a punching bag wasn't going to help.

Easily, Danvers grabbed a hold of Amelia's hands and kicked out her leg to knock the brunette down to the floor. She followed, positioning herself in a way that led Amelia to be completely immobile. It was just as before. Despite having past experience and knowing full well, Amelia still fought out, screaming out savagely as she tried to fight back.

"Mia!" Danvers yelled, somehow managing to be even louder. She'd used the nickname she'd heard Tony use, hoping it would reach the manic brunette's ears. She did pause, and Danvers took that opportunity to speak words of wisdom. "I know you're hurting, trust me, I know." She knew because, though she did her best to not show it, she was hurting just the same. Danvers felt responsible for the entire universe. Not only had she let Earth down, but she'd let every other planet down as well. "But I also know that me just blasting you with my powers wouldn't give you back what you've lost, the same way my powers haven't been able to give back what this planet has lost, what I've- Nevermind." Images of Fury passed her mind but she pushed them aside. She didn't have time to explain that relationship to the panicking human beneath her. "All that would come out of this crazy scheme of yours is you dying, and I know you don't want to do that, not to Steve, and I know you can't do that to Tony."

Amelia's breaths remained heavy and panicked but they'd at least began to slow. She couldn't meet Danvers' eyes, but she could see what the woman on top of her was talking about. As desperate as she was to get her powers back, being blasted by a beam of power she couldn't truly understand was risky. Risks weren't necessary anymore. Her husband and her brother had already gone through too much, already almost lost her too many times. There had to be another way, something else she could do.

Her panic was completely gone, though her rage and pain remained, Amelia expected they would be a rainstorm that would remain unperturbed for quite a while. However, the fog had begun to clear, Danvers providing a little bit of clarity and reason to the messy thoughts doing a chaotic dance in her head.

"You can let go of me now," Amelia whispered, too breathless to speak any louder.

Danvers did as was requested, getting up off of the brunette and trusting that she wouldn't be immediately attacked afterwards. Amelia sat up, but she made no move to stand. Instead, she brought her knees up to her chest and stared off into the distance. Danvers watched, not wanting to walk away but also not knowing how to engage her any further. All she knew was that there were cogs turning rapidly inside of the brunette's mind.

Ten minutes of silence passed. Ten minutes where Danvers stayed by Amelia's side, hoping that her presence would be comfort enough as she didn't know Amelia well enough to offer anything else.

Amelia's head turned upwards and cocked to the side, bland brown eyes fixing Danvers beneath an inquisitive gaze.

"Teach me to fight."

It was another surprising question that Danvers hadn't been expecting, but it didn't throw her off as much as the previous one had. "What?"

"You can't give me my powers back, fine," Amelia accepted vocally, "but you're clearly trained, and though I hate to admit it, physically I've become quite rusty, so train me to be as good of a fighter as you."

She didn't have her powers anymore, fine, that was just something she'd have to come to accept. What she couldn't accept was that she was completely useless. She'd gone through too much, faced too many oppositions and undergone too much emotional damage, to just be another victim. She was a fighter, a warrior. That was who she chose to be.

Natasha didn't have powers, and she was a badass. Amelia did not doubt that she'd be requesting her friends help as well as Danvers when it came to the new journey she'd set for herself, one where she would do whatever it took to bring the lost back.

Her next plan was to become powerful in a new way.

When Danvers didn't immediately respond she sighed, her fingers beginning to play with one another as she started to speak again, "I need to be able to do something-"

After hearing the familiar words, Danvers immediately held up a hand, putting a stop to the brunette's speech. "Are you about to freak out again?"

"No, just listen." Amelia was quite embarrassed about her freak out, especially because it had happened around the warrior Amelia had become so envious of. She could at least admit by that point that she hadn't needed to go so far, but that didn't mean any of what she said wasn't true.

It also didn't mean there would be no more repeats in the future. That feeling of hanging by a thread hadn't escaped, Amelia's sanity had been battered by what was happening (as she'd expected it would do the second she stepped back into the life of constant fighting, both physically and emotionally). What Amelia truly needed to be careful of was her grip on that thread, as Gran's words threatened that at some point she'd let go of it and fallen back into a pit, a naughty pit.

"As I already said, I need to be able to do _something_ , I can't just live the rest of my life sitting on my hands, this fight isn't over, I won't let it be and that means I need to be able to survive without my powers." Amelia looked up once more, demeaned herself once more, _begged_ once more. "Please Danvers."

After a moment, Danvers stepped forward offering a hand. "My names Carol."

Amelia was powerful in the end. It had taken her a while to realise it, but it had never really been her powers which had made her into the powerhouse everyone foretold. In the end, it truly was her spirit. Amelia was unforgiving, even to herself. She was a fighter, thirsty for justice and willing to do whatever was needed despite the cost.

Carol could respect that. She could also see herself one day idolising that.

"I should probably stick around for a bit anyway, Earth needs some help," Carol muttered as she helped Amelia stand up, trying to lessen the brunette's embarrassment of having to ask Carol for help. Amelia nodded in agreement, attempting another determined nod but it withered away under the tiredness she obviously felt. She was just human, after all. Witnessing exactly that pushed Carol to add, "but that can wait till tomorrow, for now, go be with your boyfriend, your ten minutes are up."

No argument came from the brunette. She was done with arguing. Done with fighting. Only for a little bit, of course.

"He's not my boyfriend," she mumbled back, ignoring the fact that Carol had been able to eavesdrop her private conversation with Steve, "he's my husband."

Carol was surprised (she wondered how many more surprises she'd gain from being around Amelia) at how little convincing Amelia needed before she returned to her husband.

Amelia had first taken Carol to a bedroom, of course, using one of the bedrooms she'd known would be empty and one that wasn't once the bedroom of a lost comrade. Amelia placed Carol in the bedroom she'd always thought would be Pietro's if he lived. It was right down the corridor from Wanda's, far enough away that the twin would still have had some privacy.

In order to get to her own room, she'd have had to pass Wanda's old room to get to the elevator but instead, she chose to walk the opposite direction, taking the stairs before finally arriving at her bedroom.

It was dark all except for a lamp across from the bed that illuminated a tray with two lavish hot chocolates, decorated with both cream and marshmallows. "You made hot chocolates."

"Yeah," Steve responded, revealing his position in the bed, lying underneath the covers with his back propped against two thick pillows.

"You going to drink yours?" She questioned, staring blankly at her own.

"No," he whispered. He didn't know why they were whispering. Their entire floor was empty.

"Me neither." She began to undress after that, glad that she didn't have to feel bad about not drinking the treat Steve had provided. Really, he'd only made it as a distraction whilst she was away. He'd started shaking, the effects of what had happened previously reaching out towards him. He'd done his best to shove them away until Amelia was back at his side. It was easier to deal with his issues when she was there.

She laid down on the bed, and though he'd opened up his arms to invite her to snuggle against his arms, she'd knocked them away. Instead, Amelia wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him against her chest, beginning to run her fingers through his air.

His eyes became wet as he realised just how easily she'd been able to recognise it. His burden. The responsibility to hold himself together and pretend like he could take the weight of everyone else's issues, that was the burden he'd been juggling ever since he became Captain America. She'd taken the weight. She'd held him together, just like glue.

"We're not giving up, you know?" She told him, following up her words with a soft kiss to his head. Once again, she'd proved that she knew him better than anyone else. She'd said what he was trying to convince himself of. It was easier to believe it when someone else was saying it.

Still, though, his mind told him that he should be the one comforting her and carrying her burden. "So, the house?" That was what he wanted to give her. It was all he had left to give her anymore. A roof, a warm home, a place where they could build another life, separate from the trauma.

But of course, they couldn't do that. They were Amelia Stark and Captain America, they were Atlas.

Amelia shook her head softly. "Not until everyone's back."

It would have been nice if they could have just resigned themselves to the defeat. If they could have accepted it and escaped the sadness to their home where they could build a new life, a life where they weren't saviours, just ordinary people building a family.

But how could that ever be possible? There were people depending on them. Sam. Bucky. Addy. Wanda. The three dogs. So many more. Billions of lives. Trillions.

"I figured you'd say that," Steve responded, raising one arm to stroke against her bicep, letting Amelia know that he accepted her point of view, even agreeing with it. "And the wedding?"

Her breath caught in her throat. For some reason, that was the hardest part. All she wanted was to be with him, to announce to the world that they were truly united in every way possible. But the celebration of their love wouldn't really be a celebration if it didn't involve all of the people that brought them together.

Her eyes clenched shut and she hid her face against the top of his head. "I'm sorry," she mumbled out, her throat tightening.

"Don't be," Steve hushed, choosing then to pull away from her arms and rise up, meeting her at eye level so she could see his honesty as he spoke. "You inspire me, Amelia Stark."

Her lips twitched upward at the side for a single second, a half-smile, a short blip of joy amongst a flatlining devastation.

"That's Amelia Rogers, thank you very much."

 **FIVE YEARS LATER**

Amelia wandered the dark expanse of her mind alone, her eyes constantly moved from one side of the endless abyss to the other, much like how one would look down every aisle after losing their parents.

Nothing. Just like the night before. And the night before that.

Just like how every night had been for the past five years.

Her footsteps were loud, creating echoing tapping sounds like she was walking across marble. It didn't look like she was as there was no sort of sheen or pattern on the floor. It was just black.

It had scared her at first. The darkness only ever brought one thing to her mind, the pit. But after the few nights she'd worked up enough courage to dare to dream, Amelia had started to notice that there was no eyes, no screams, and there was even enough room for her to walk around. That's what she chose to do every night, ever since discovering that fact. She walked.

For the past five years, she'd been journeying to oblivion. A pilgrimage she'd had to take alone.

* * *

 **A/N: Hello again, it's been a while.**


	137. Chapter One-Hundred and Twenty-Nine

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-NINE**

* * *

"My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive."

― **Maya Angelou**

* * *

 **FIVE YEARS LATER**

* * *

Amelia wandered the dark expanse of her mind alone, her eyes constantly moved from one side of the endless abyss to the other, much like how a child would look down every aisle after losing their parent.

Nothing. Just like the night before. And the night before that.

Just like how every night had been for the past five years.

Her footsteps were loud, creating echoing tapping sounds like she was walking across marble. It didn't look like she was as there was no sheen or pattern on the floor. It was just black.

It had scared her at first. The darkness only ever brought one thing to her mind, the pit. But after the few nights she'd worked up enough courage to dare to dream, Amelia had started to notice that there was no eyes, no screams, and there was even enough room for her to walk around. That's what she chose to do every night ever since discovering that fact. She walked.

For the past five years she'd been journeying to oblivion. A pilgrimage she'd had to take alone.

It gave her something else to concentrate on at least for a moment, something other than the true darkness that hid beyond her eyelids.

It could have just been a moment, or perhaps hours, time seemed to just meld together when she was inside that realm. She could have taken thousands of steps, or maybe just five. In the grand scheme of things it didn't matter all that much, all that truly mattered was finding something other than the darkness because Amelia truly believed that in that _something_ , she'd be able to find answers.

Really, the one thing she had her eyes set on was finding Gran again. The last dream she'd had was right before Amelia faced Thanos for the last time and Gran had purposely left the dream open-ended, suggesting that there was more for her to say and more for Amelia to hear. Yet, the older version of herself hadn't made any sort of appearance at all, leaving Amelia only to wander that dark abyss.

But, just like every other night, her journey ended before she'd had the chance to find anything.

Some nights the world would fade away, but not that time. That time it came to an abrupt halt due to a ringing sound ascending pitch, getting louder and louder, pulling Amelia back to a reality she would have been fine with avoiding for another hour or so.

As soon as she realised that she was awake again, a curse slipped its way out of her lips. "Shit," she gruffly muttered as she reached out with one hand towards the source of the intrusive noise. Her mobile phone. Someone was ringing her.

Without any care and a lot of moodiness, she sent the phone call to voicemail, cursing whoever it was, inwardly that time.

After taking a few seconds to calm her tired spirit she did look to see who had phoned her. It was only Natasha so she wasn't too worried, Amelia was already planning on seeing her red-headed best friend later that night anyway and if it was an emergency then her friend would no doubt ring again.

Natasha most likely only wanted to know about the mission she'd been on the day before. Amelia had returned early in the morning which was why when she found herself waking up, the sun was beginning to set over the skyline of New York.

She rested her head in her hands, becoming more and more aware of her surroundings. When she slept, it was like her dreams absorbed her, like she became someone else and was transported somewhere else. There was never any comfort and the same could be said for when she escaped the darkness. It always took her a while to go back to normal, or as normal as Amelia could get.

When she finally managed to get the awareness of her own body back, she became aware of other things, like the empty side of her bed. The covers were tucked under the mattress neatly, greatly opposing the creased mess her side of the sheets were in. Her hand fell onto that side of the bed, feeling nothing but coldness. She wasn't surprised by it, though she was slightly disappointed to find that he wasn't there to comfort her when she awoke.

That thought process led her to recall his obligations, an obligation she was supposed to pick him up from as he'd left her their shared car. Her eyes widened and she turned back to the phone she'd abandoned on the bedside table. The time was clear, showing that she had slept well into the afternoon after coming back from her latest mission. So far in the afternoon, that she had only fifteen minutes to prepare herself before setting off to pick up her husband.

"Shit!" She drew out another curse as she jumped off of the bed, grabbing whatever clothes Steve had kindly folded out on the drawers for her. Amelia left the apartment quickly, doing nothing with her hair and makeup. As she made it to the car she'd realised she'd forgotten one last thing and returned to her shared apartment, going into the kitchen and retrieving ten containers of food that she then dumped into a carrier bag. Once the carrier bag was full and in her hand, she returned to sprinting out of her apartment and launching herself down the stairs.

The brunette made it to the car in just under five minutes, feeling quite successful until she remembered that she hadn't locked her apartment. Amelia tried to rush back to the door, but going upstairs wasn't as easy as going down so her steps slowed. When she eventually made it back to the car she'd also accidentally left unlocked, she was out of breath and even more frazzled than she had been previously.

The entire way to her destination she tried to figure out how her alarm had turned itself off, cursing whatever entity she could think up and blaming it if she ended up being late.

Yet, by the time she got there, she was five minutes _early_. It seemed her rampant anxiety had been quite useful as she made it just in time to the small, insignificant building. The evidence of what was going on inside was made clear only by a poster plastered on the door. Amelia didn't even glance at it, just entered the front door, stepping into a long hallway.

She didn't walk through it, instead, she turned left and entered a stairwell that took her downstairs. There, she found another hallway and that one she trotted through. Seats lined the walls and the odd table was spread around with magazines and leaflets. The building wasn't anything in particular, just a place for businesses to reside, along with the odd community to spend their times. A community was exactly what she found at the end of the hallway.

The brunette was about to enter the room where the community was having its meeting but something stopped her, almost like a wall had appeared in front of her, but in truth, it was a mental block. A memory, that she was forced to cast aside immediately. If she truly concentrated on it, then she'd have had no other option but to leave the building.

There was a poster on the wall next to the door, the same one that was shown on the front door of the building. It asked one question: 'Where do we go, now that they're gone?'

It was an important question, one that some still struggled with answering. That was why the group had been made and it was a cause both Amelia and Steve had felt very strongly about when they first founded it.

But in truth, Amelia had only helped with starting the group to try and answer that question.

She looked down to the floor with shame as she still didn't have an answer. Not one that anybody would enjoy hearing, anyway.

During her silence, Amelia's ears began to pick up on the chatter that was happening inside of the room. The tone of the voice was sorrowful, holding a humour that broke hearts instead of quaking them with laughter. It was the voice of someone trying to find glee in a lightless world. "Then things got quiet, and he cried as they were serving the salads," the person explained, his voice recognisable to Amelia as one of the members who'd stayed in the group for a long time.

"What about you?" Another voice questioned, a new voice, someone who'd finally collected enough willpower to look for help as they experienced inescapable grief. Everyone on the planet was, even the loneliest people had someone they missed.

"I cried just before dessert," The first member that had spoken recounted, trying and failing miserably as he attempted to conjure up another laugh, "but I'm seeing him again tomorrow, so…"

"That's great," another voice joined in, Amelia able to recognise his from the very first syllable. Steve Rogers, the nations hero and her sort-of husband. He continued on, pushing a positivity Amelia had only been able to envy over the past five years. "You did the hardest part, you took the jump, you didn't know when you were going to come down, and that's it, that's those little brave baby steps we gotta take to try and become whole again, to try and find purpose."

"I went in the ice in '45 right after I met the person who I thought would be the love of my life," he continued, his words inspiring a small smile upon the brunette's lips. She felt the same way, kind of. She'd never had a past love, he was her first everything, but there was still a time when - like him - she'd felt hopeless and like there wasn't anyone in the world left to love. "Woke up seventy years later and I made those steps, I moved on cause I had to, and I ended up finding the greatest person I think I'll ever meet." Another moment of silence crossed as everyone took in his words, including Amelia. There were small things, small _happy_ little things, they were just hard to find sometimes. "You've got to move on."

"The world is in our hands, it's left to us guys and we've got to do something with it, otherwise, Thanos should have killed all of us."

Those words of wisdom hit Amelia the hardest. They were certainly words she'd said before. That she needed to do something, otherwise Thanos might as well have stolen her life along with the rest of the Universe. It had become her inspiration behind all the fight she had left in her, the reason why she'd started going on missions again and why every night she dared to dream, searching for the answer she knew was held somewhere. Gran had suggested so the last time she'd seen her.

She'd tried her best to do something significant. Amelia helped Steve form the group, then when just sitting still and talking about her issues proved useless for her, she requested Natasha to let her go on missions. Steve did the odd one, but he'd started pulling away from the life of a soldier. Meanwhile, Amelia did the opposite, taking every mission she possibly could.

Steve never judged her for it. He understood perfectly what she was trying to do after the last time she'd spoken during their meetings.

Turning around, Amelia pressed her back against the wall, taking in a long draw of oxygen. It felt like the first time she'd breathed since waking up. An air of clearness followed, her mind calming after waking up so panicked. Her mind was able to focus on more, and in that moment, it focused on a lone pen she located on the small table beside the doorway.

The brunette couldn't look away from it as a thought occurred in her mind, one she'd reluctantly admit had popped up more than one-hundred times. She raised up her hand, palm open, aiming it towards the pen. In her mind, she imagined a burst of power that would push it away.

It didn't do anything. Really, she should have given up like a normal person, but Amelia still persevered with trying. Her expression stiffened as she put all of her being into creating a burst of energy which would shove the pen to the side.

It moved. A single twitch, and for a moment, for one naive second, she thought it was because of her.

But no, it was due to the door of the room she was hidden from opening, creating a gust of air that had rattled the pen and some of the leaflets sat on the table.

"Amelia!" The voice called, drawing the brunette's attention.

Immediately she slipped on a mask, the act easy. "Frank, hey," automatically her arms reached out, the two embracing as they always had done when seeing each other.

He patted her spine and she did the same, doing so twice before they stepped away from each other. He still held her at arm's length, grinning down at her figure. Frank was one of the first that had joined despite being completely mute during their first couple of meetings. It had been Amelia who'd inspired him to speak up for the first time and because of that she definitely held a special place in his heart. "It's been a while, how are you doing?"

She shrugged her shoulders up. "Good, I'm just here to pick up Steve," Amelia quickly redirected the question, avoiding going into too much detail with her answer.

"Right, of course," Frank nodded his head understandingly, and he wasn't referring to her mentioning of Steve, "you thinking of coming back anytime soon?"

Another shrug that felt lame and slightly rude. "Maybe, I'm just, you know, a little busy right now," she answered. Amelia had Steve explain to the group that she'd be taking some time away to go on more missions so it wasn't like she'd just abandoned them all. They still crossed her mind at least once a day and she'd often ask Steve about their wellbeing. Steve always tried to make things seem more positive than they were though, so Amelia often had to read between the lines.

In Frank's previous meeting, he'd spoken about the daughter that he'd lost, revealing that the one thing he missed most was her incessantly saying 'Dad', even though he'd hated it before, even once scorning her for calling his name sometimes. Steve had made it out like progress, and maybe it was, but Amelia knew it was Frank's own way of confessing guilt.

"Of course, yeah," Frank took a step back, trying to seem casual, trying to seem like he didn't miss the drop of realism Amelia brought to the group that mixed ever-so-well with Steve's constant positive attitude. Both of them looked at the floor, the both of them having words they couldn't say. "Well, I'll see you when I see you."

Amelia nodded, not able to say goodbye as her own form of guilt clogged the pipe in her throat. They smiled lamely at each other and he began to walk away, the brunette attempted a wave but he was always walking away.

With another sigh, she turned around, greeting the rest of the group that exited, the older faces giving a bit more to the conversation, asking her how she was, whilst the newer ones seemed a little shocked to see _the_ Captain America's girlfriend there. No one in the public knew of their small, not-really, wedding and they'd chosen to just keep it that way. It wasn't official to anyone but them. Those that were important to them knew. They'd told the Avengers and close friends around three months after their trip to space. Some took it better than others.

Once she was done greeting her old acquaintances she stepped into the room, finding her sort-of husband carrying five of the chairs so he could put them on top of the rest of the pile. He always cleaned up by himself which is why Amelia had started to insist on picking him up, that way she could at least help in some way after leaving the meetings to just him.

Amelia stepped forward and grabbed a chair, putting it on top of another and then carrying the pair over to the pile. Steve's head swivelled at the sound of her moving chairs, and when he realised it was her, a calm smile rested on his face. As she placed her chairs next to his, he leaned over and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

"Hey honey," he greeted warmly, always happy to see her, "everyone missed you today, again."

"Yeah, Frank just asked if I was coming back so I kind of guessed they've been wondering where I am," she replied, gesturing behind herself with her thumb.

"You helped a lot, I'm not going to lie," he began, quickly realising his mistake as he observed Amelia's face beginning to fall. He had been there after the last group meeting they'd had and he'd been there when she decided she needed to make a change and go back to doing missions. Steve knew it was one of the harder decisions she'd had to make in her life and he should have known better than to mention her abandonment like it was no big deal. "We started this thing together so it's probably weird that it's just me now," Steve stumbled over his words as he tried to add onto his previous sentence.

The brunette raised an eyebrow, looking ever so slightly amused at his attempt to make up for his previous statement. She wasn't all that offended, used to his behaviour after all the years they'd been together. Their year apart was a forgotten memory by that point as the couple had seemed to join together like puzzle pieces, the perfect fit, always meant to be placed together.

She turned back around, moving to grab another chair as she offered Steve help in the form of changing the subject. "Did they like the apology cake at least?"

"Yeah, and they also liked the one before that," he responded, releasing a gust of laughter, "and the one before that." She released a short laugh too. Amelia still had two other cakes ready for the next meeting, and would no doubt bake more for the ones after that.

"Did you have any luck with the dreams?" Steve asked, as though they were having a casual discussion about each other's work. In some ways, it was a lot like that. Whilst the activities they participated in might not have seemed normal to those outside of their day-to-day routines, it was very normal for them.

"No," Amelia sighed, her frustration becoming clear as she dropped the chairs she'd been carrying a little harder than she had before. Once the chairs were out of her hands she stopped where she stood, placing her hands on her hips as she relayed the thoughts going through her mind, "she's waiting for something to happen, obviously, I just don't know what."

"I know you don't like the idea of it, but maybe Gran appearing in your last dream was really just a dream, not a vision," Steve suggested, having made up the theory before but never had the courage to say it out loud previously.

"Yeah, maybe." Amelia's response came out stilted. She didn't agree with Steve. "Anyway, are you ready? I want to stop off and see Nat before we head home, I've brought some leftover lasagne because I know she's probably just eating junk again."

It was Steve's turn to sigh and he did so dramatically, even going as far to drop his head backwards and slump his arms down by his side. "We just saw her yesterday and she was fine." All he wanted was to go back home and enjoy some time with his wife, he'd barely seen her over the past couple of weeks as she'd been working on her latest mission against a group of Thanos-worshippers. She'd returned the night before and explained to him nothing had come out of it, that it had been a waste of time, which had motivated his ideas of making up for all the hours they'd lost.

"Yeah, but the point is that she's always fine, there comes a point where that word becomes meaningless, you know that," she argued back, retrieving the last pair of chairs and putting them aside for the next group to utilise. When her husband didn't respond, she took the conversation a step further. "Come on Steve, wedding ring."

The soldier started to shake his head. "You use that way too much."

Amelia's mouth dropped open, "I haven't used it in months!"

"What?" He responded back with as much gall as she'd acted out, just as disbelieving. "You used it _last night_ , all because I wouldn't let you eat a midnight snack in the bed."

Her shocked expression melted as the memories of her behaviour before she'd fallen asleep returned. In her defence, she'd been tired and worn out and extra moody after her failed mission. There were only two things that would have cheered her up, a big bag of ready salted chips and her loving husband cuddling her. Yet, said loving husband had denied her the opportunity to have both things bring her the most glorious happiness ever and had forced her to choose between the two of them. Really, he was in the wrong. "Well, I mean, it was kind of rude of you to refuse snuggles whilst I ate chips."

"We just bought those new sheets," he quickly defended himself, remembering vividly how she'd attempted to crawl onto the bed with her giant bag of crisps, looking far too cute in her oversized pyjamas that consisted exclusively of his old clothes. She'd looked at him with puppy eyes when he brought up a hand and told her to move, like a dog not understanding instructions she'd remained in place until he spent well-over a minute going into the intricacies of what would happen if she were to eat those chips and spread crumbs over their bedsheets.

"But you promised to let me fall asleep with you by my side," she easily countered.

"Which you did, after you finished your snacks," he responded back, just as easily.

"Whatever," Amelia continued on, "you clearly owe me, let's go see Natasha."

Steve didn't at all owe her.

But that didn't matter. Things were so difficult emotionally and mentally that being there for each other, and supporting one another, were all the couple could really do. Being together brought them contentedness, and support from each other brought them happiness. Every day was a difficult battle and it was made so much easier by the support they gave.

She provided it for him too. After their battle with Thanos, it was her who had suggested starting the group, able to recognise that all he wanted to do was help people. He'd ended up in a dark patch when he started to realise that there wasn't anything he could possibly do if he couldn't bring all the people lost back, she'd shown him otherwise. Amelia provided him with a lot more as well, she cooked for him whenever she could (it had taken a couple of years, but her cooking had far surpassed his own abilities) and the brunette had even started to clean up after herself.

"Fine," he relinquished, just like he always did and always would, "but that means you can't have a midnight snack tonight."

"They're not just midnight snacks though, they're foods that will hopefully push me to have dreams, dreams in which Gran will appear," she tried to quarrel but there wasn't really any argument there when the foods she tended to eat in the bed was just junk food she hoped would bring her some merriment like they once had when she first discovered them. The concoctions she ate before bed in order to force dreams were never pleasant so she'd gulp them down in the kitchen where there was a sink available in case her body decided to refuse the contents.

"Make a choice Amelia," Steve crossed his arms over his chest, "food or Nat." Thirty whole seconds of silence passed. "I can't believe you're hesitating right now."

"I'm not," she defied after Steve realised her mistake, "Nat, I choose Nat." Even after making the decision she hadn't exactly sounded confident, but at least she'd tried.

"Come on then," he stepped closer to her, wrapping an arm around her waist so that they'd be able to walk together, "I'll drive."

"No, it's okay, I need to take my mind off things," Amelia was casual as they began to walk forward, exiting the room and proceeding to the staircase.

Steve's eyes turned to slits and he paused, Amelia knew why so she continued to walk forward, hoping to avoid the conversation weighing in his mind. "You just don't want me to drive because you still think I drive like an old man," he voiced his thoughts and Amelia cringed though he wasn't able to see.

When she turned back, her expression was soft, eyes glistening with adoration. "I love you," she responded back, hoping it would be enough.

"Liar."

"No, I do." She walked back over to him, becoming far too seductive as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pressed her chest against his, rising up on her feet so that she could place a kiss on his lips. His body responded automatically. Whilst they embraced, their lips still pressed firmly together, she spoke. "I just don't love the way you drive."

* * *

 **A/N: What's this? Uploading the second day in a row? Could it be possible that Rae is keeping her word and she is back to doing daily uploads for the next two weeks? HALLELUJAH.**

 **Honestly though, it feels so weird uploading again. I feel really scared, like I don't know if anyone cares about this story anymore and I just... I don't know. I'm nervous. Hi. When am I not nervous?**

 **I've also started writing every day again rather than once on a weekend, and my god does it feel so _good_. I've forgotten how great it feels to put all my concentration and passion into a project. I hope I do this story justice again. I also hope you don't hate me for doing the five-year skip, I promise you'll get information on what went on.**

 **To LoveFiction2019, thank you! It's good to be back :)**

 **To Guest, thank youuuu, I'm glad you're glad I updated.**

 **Have a wonderful day!**


	138. Chapter One-Hundred and Thirty

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY**

* * *

"Keep taking time for yourself until you're you again."

― **Lalah Delia**

* * *

Night had consumed the sky as they arrived at the Avengers base, Amelia all casual whilst Steve was sat on the passenger seat with his hand gripping tightly onto the door, the skin on his fingers becoming pure white due to just how tight he was holding on. When they parked and he was finally able to let go of the handle, he started to close and open his hand, looking pained as though his hand had become stone after staying fixed in the previous position for so long.

"Really?" Amelia scoffed at his actions as she turned off the car's engine.

He looked at her innocently, despite beginning to massage the palm of his pained hand. "I don't know what you're talking about." His words gave no reassurance and they didn't push aside her suspicions that Steve _still_ didn't trust her when she drove.

It was only because she drove with the aim to get to their destination as soon as possible, whilst he always drove with the same speed as though they were sitting, staying completely stationary.

The Avengers facility looked almost empty, the only sign of there actually being life within its colossal walls was a warm amber light leaking out of one of the hallways available to see through the towering wall of windows.

They entered the building together, silent as they wandered through the familiar hallways, feeling as though they were walking through a graveyard.

The first sound that was heard other than the shuffling of their own feet against the laminated floor was the sound of quiet sniffles, and though it was only the slightest of sounds, it was so familiar and powerful enough that it stopped the couple in their tracks. They were stood outside what had once been the Avengers' common room (the team hadn't stepped foot altogether in that room for years) and it was the room Natasha could always be found in as she never really used her office. There wasn't a reason for why she should have to when she was the only person that worked and lived in the building anymore.

The couple exchanged silent words, preparing themselves to provide support to their closest friend.

They couldn't do it normally, like how humans who hadn't faced psychotic robotics and Titans with god complexes could, they were all far too unique for such things. She couldn't just be comforted by a hug, and they couldn't just provide a hug, feigning that everything was okay and after five years there was no longer any reason to be crying. They weren't liars.

Steve nodded his head towards the room, signalling that she should be the first to greet their sorrowful friend. Amelia's eyebrows tensed as she felt a little bit of reluctance, Steve was the more emotionally connected one, or at least he understood them enough to gain the upper hand, unlike Amelia. The soldier didn't budge and remained adamant that she be the one to awkwardly reveal to Natasha that they were there.

She huffed and then cleared her throat loudly, loud enough to give Natasha a bit of warning before she stepped into the room with her sort-of husband trailing behind. Her eyes sprinted around the room, trying to find anything that would help ease the tension Natasha was most likely feeling after being caught crying.

"Is this your fiftieth peanut butter sandwich? No wonder you're crying." It wasn't the most comforting thing she could have said, but it was the closest to perfect the two girls who were constantly at war with their own feelings. It allowed them to normalise their emotions and make them a little bit more insignificant.

Natasha sniffled, a quick breath drawing in as she was surprised by her friend's appearances. The red-head wiped her hands down her face and it almost looked like she'd wiped off all of her sorrow as once she dropped down the hands she was wearing a smile. "I don't think it's my sandwich choice, but thanks for your concern," she replied before noting the two carrier bags Amelia was holding along with the five Steve had. She tutted. "You really need to stop bringing me food, I can buy my own."

"That sounds fake, but okay," Amelia immediately called Nat out on her shit, knowing full well that her friend was lying after catching her four years ago skipping meals as she was too 'busy' to go shopping. Amelia had definitely gotten less and less sneaky with dropping off the food as she was sure Nat didn't believe there was just some food fairy dropping off home-cooked meals that would last her a decent amount of time, along with extras so Nat could have some independence with her meals.

"Besides, I'm not just here to drop off your shopping, I'm also here to cook for you," she faced Steve and took all of the heavy shopping bags from his hand, and once she had them all she turned back to her friend, "be grateful."

With those words, Amelia wandered off to the kitchen which connected to the living space. Whilst Natasha stared sharply at her friend for being so bold, Steve shrugged his shoulders, "she is a really good cook."

Nat rolled her eyes at Steve's attempt to mandate their pretend quarrel. "Okay, thanks _mom_ ," she called sarcastically to the retreating brunette.

"That's what I thought," Amelia quipped back, sounding very much like a mother.

"Just let her do it, she will even if you don't," Steve whispered, eyes staring at the wall Amelia hid behind, his voice carrying an indisputable air of sadness.

It almost felt like she hadn't stopped for five whole years. Every second of every day she was working on something that would help someone, anyone and everyone that wasn't herself. It had started to strain on their relationship, he couldn't lie about that. Even her nights were taken up by the effort she was making to see Gran in her dreams.

Things had gotten a little easier after he figured out different ways to get her to spend time with him just relaxing. Still, he often wished for the day when he wouldn't need to request peaceful moments.

Nat saw his glances and felt a frown attempt to push down her lips. The red-head was all too aware of Steve's most recent problem with his kind-of wife. In fact, she was partly guilty as she was constantly offering Amelia distractions in the form of missions. That was her role on the planet since Thanos and the snap. She had helped governments get on their feet and taken over a smaller, less powerful, SHIELD. That was her distraction and unintentionally she'd allowed it to become Amelia's.

The missions had become necessary though, especially after Amelia's last visit to the support group a year ago.

"I figured that out years ago," Natasha commented.

Steve began to walk over, he sat in front of her and the moment he was seated, Nat nodded forward, towards where Amelia was busying herself. "How's she doing?" Nat asked, nodding towards the room Amelia was hidden away inside, busy filling up the cupboards with easy-to-make foods and the fridge with ready-made meals.

Unbeknownst to the both of them, she did pause at Nat's quiet question. It wasn't like there was a closed-door stopping her from being able to hear their conversation, just a thin wall which separated the kitchen from the living area. Her hands froze whilst opening a container, her heart jumping as for a single moment she feared the answer lurking beneath her skin.

She did well to disguise it most of the time, or, she'd thought she had.

"She's _doing_ ," Steve replied back with a heavy sigh that didn't escape Amelia's notice either. It caused her frozen expression to melt into a frown. "She never stops."

That was how she stayed fine. If she stopped for even a moment than all of the swirling, agonising thoughts of paranoia and guilt would return and gorge on what little sanity she was able to salvage. It had been exactly the same during her first year with Steve when they were going around Europe looking for Bucky. The moment things start to slow down and they stopped making any progress, she lost it and killed again.

Amelia was fighting tooth and claw to not get that bad ever again. To not let the future her old self achieved in Gran's timeline become a real one in her own.

The only way Amelia could see to avoid that was by focusing on helping others and keeping herself busy. She'd thought the support group would have been good enough but it only made her feel more guilt, all she did was sit and listen to the pain she'd caused other people. What she needed to do was make progress to help others, which was why she'd requested Nat send her on more missions.

Steve hadn't been given a choice, but he was understanding enough to not deny her what she wanted. He wouldn't have felt good doing so after their last support group meeting together anyway.

"But that doesn't matter!" Amelia called, letting them know that she could indeed hear everything they were saying, hoping that would put an end to it because it wasn't supposed to be about her. They'd gone there to comfort Nat, not get concerned over the brunette's wellbeing. That was the method she'd chosen to go with, the method that would cause the least amount of destruction to her relationships with the people around her. They wanted to be happy… they didn't want to know about the struggles weighing her down like chains around her bones.

"Ask her if she's okay!" Amelia continued to yell out, able to disguise her emotions easily as they showed themselves in the expression no one could see. She looked hurt, anguished, like a dagger was slowly being pushed into her heart.

Steve and Natasha laughed at her gall, Steve rolling his eyes at his wife steering their conversation whilst being in a different room. Natasha shook her head, as though she was trying to waft away her best friends concerns. Steve refused to let her do so though as Amelia had made a good point earlier when demanding they go see Natasha. The red-head wasn't fine, she was sat alone in a dark room crying over a peanut butter sandwich. About what, he wasn't sure, but it didn't really matter either because not knowing didn't mean he wouldn't be able to share the odd comforting words.

"Well, are you?" He asked soberly after his chuckles had faded away.

Nat met Steve's eyes and she found it very hard to disguise the honest feelings from one of her closest friends. She tried to deny it, turning her expression cold as she raised up her shoulders and dropped them limply. "Of course I am, I'm always fine."

Steve saw straight through the women. Not just because of her expression or the tone in her voice, but because he knew all too well that anyone who said the word 'fine' was someone who also settled for not being okay in their day-to-day life. Everyone he met in that support group was 'fine'. Amelia was 'fine'. He was 'fine'.

The soldier's only silver lining was when he found people that were better than fine, who had the strength to move on and continue with their lives.

There were also little moments dotted around his life when he felt more like he was okay than just fine. Like when they were just cuddled up watching a movie and eating popcorn whilst Amelia's head rested against his shoulder, her eyes closing slowly despite how much she tried to fight and stay awake. Or, in the mornings, those quiet mornings when they have breakfast to munch on and they're just sat reading the morning paper together in complete, peaceful, silence, his hand wrapped around hers, swinging in the empty space between their two chairs.

The silver lining for life in general, were the unexpected moments when the devastation that Thanos had left their planet with, wasn't at the forefront of their minds.

He looked down at his hands, playing with a pen he found resting on top of the paper-covered table Nat was sitting on. "You know we saw a pod of whales when we were coming up the bridge, Amelia stopped the car to go look at them she was so fascinated, I think that might have actually been the first time she ever saw them outside of images." A small smile spread up one side of his lips as he remembered the amazement dazzling in her eyes, almost like stars.

"In the Hudson?" Nat asked, not surprised at the news as she'd heard much stranger things whilst working as the newest leader of the makeshift SHIELD.

"There's fewer ships, cleaner water," he explained.

"You know, if you're about to tell me to look on the bright side," Nat began, refraining from laughing, "I'm about to hit you in the head with a peanut butter sandwich."

"Please don't do that, peanut butter is very difficult to get out of hair!" Amelia intruded again.

They didn't laugh that time, instead, Steve's eyes widened slightly and Nat's narrowed. She stared at the soldier suspiciously. "How does she know that?"

"Doesn't matter," he quickly dismissed, the blush on his cheeks narrowly missing Natasha's inquisitive eyes due to the poor lighting in the room. "And I'm sorry," Steve continued on, choosing to be serious and finish their conversation, it was far easier for him to do that than to delve into the peanut butter fiasco of 2023. "It's a force of habit, always looking on the bright side." His eyes turned back, checking to see whether Amelia had rounded the corner yet, when he saw her shadow still bustling around the kitchen. When he turned back around to speak to Nat, he spoke a little quieter. "You know, I keep telling everyone they should move on and grow, some do, but not us."

"If I move on, who does this?" She responded, a genuine question.

"Maybe it doesn't need to be done."

Natasha had hoped for a better answer, and secretly, so had Amelia.

"That was the worst thing you could have said!" She yelled out from the kitchen, the clang of a plate echoing her words.

He dropped the pen down on his shirt, narrowing his eyes towards the kitchen wall. "Do you want to trade places then?!"

Amelia laughed at his reaction, happy to provide a little bit of humour after the conversation became a little darker. "And let you give her food poisoning? Never!"

"You two are so domestic and cute it makes me sick," Natasha commented after observing their exchange. Steve could only shrug at her. He knew they were, and he absolutely adored it. That was clear to anyone who saw the way Amelia and Steve looked at each other, even after all the messed up stuff Earth had gone through, they were in love and that was what got them through the tougher than tough times. Sometimes, Nat would be envious of it. "You know, I used to have nothing, and then I… I got this, this job, and this family." Steve cocked his head to the side in that way Amelia always chastised him for, it was the most sympathetic look any human could ever conjure up, and sometimes it was damn condescending. Nat didn't seem to mind so much as she continued on. "I was better because of it, and even though they're gone, I'm still trying to be better."

Steve sighed, accepting her response the same way he'd always accepted Amelia's. There was no other option for the future, they needed to be out there, doing something for others, trying to be better, to not embrace the darkness the Earth had been shrouded by, the same darkness that had raised them.

"I think we both need to get a life."

It was Natasha's turn to cock her head to the side as she noticed Amelia finally exit the kitchen, carrying in her hands two plates, one for Natasha, and one for Steve. "I thought you had a life?" The redhead inquired, obviously referencing the brunette that had just entered.

"This isn't our life, not the one I wanted for us anyway," the soldier said openly, knowing that Amelia not only knew his feelings on the matter, but also agreed with them. After she placed the plates of food in front of her friends, she took the seat next to Steve's. "We can't move on though, we promised five years ago that we'd move into our house once things were fixed and they aren't yet."

"We can't break another promise," Amelia finished for him, extending her hand so that he could hold it.

"I know," Natasha replied to the both of them, sounding slightly saddened, "but I'm still adamant that if any of us get a life, it's you two, I'm still waiting for my opportunity to be a bridesmaid."

A moment passed between them, a moment of silence, a moment of contemplation.

Then, Amelia cut it short, thrusting the two plates closer to the both of them. "Well, at least while you're waiting you can have some delicious home-cooked lasagne."

Steve smiled over to his wife, doing exactly as she was not-so-subtly asking and taking a mouthful of the microwaved lasagne, placing it in his mouth and immediately groaning, the food so delicious. It made Amelia beam, the brunette always happy to hear that her food was tasty.

Natasha watched as per usual, eventually releasing the small smile she was trying to hold back. "So domestic."

The couple remained unaffected by their best friends words, quite content with being party to one of the gross, over-affectionate couples they would often make fun of.

It didn't seem as annoying and as gross when it was the two of them. In fact, they found it quite adorable.

Steve courageously leaned over and pressed a kiss to the corner of her lips, rubbing warm tomato sauce across her skin. She batted away at him, raising a hand to wipe it away.

Natasha watched on, still grossed out by how cute they were, but also unable to deny just exactly how great of a pair they made. What they had was something she could only aspire for. But until she could find her own version of it, she'd hate them for it.

As she was watching, a hologram appeared, something she quickly dismissed, not wanting to interrupt the nice little moment her friends had found themselves in. She didn't realise exactly what she'd done until a hologram video began to play across the room, doing exactly what she hadn't wanted.

"Oh! Hi. Hi! Is anyone home?" A voice cried out, the voice of a man with a van who began to wave towards the camera that had no doubt lit up and turned towards him, signalling that he was being watched. Steve and Amelia shared a look made up of straight-lined lips and drawn eyebrows. "This is Scott Lang, we met a few years ago, at the airport, in Germany?"

Amelia recognised him from just the name, easily able to recall the hero that had managed to get Steve and Bucky the escape they'd needed all those years back. Mainly because he was one of the many people she'd searched for after the Snap (including Mrs Spencer, Jonathan from the bar, and Sharon Carter, among many, _many_ , others). The brunette was the first to stand up, Steve soon following her as she stepped closer to the screen, examining the face before, as though she needed it for evidence. "What the hell?" She whispered, sure that it was indeed him.

"I got really big, and I had my mask on, you wouldn't recognise me," he continued to explain, his words becoming lost as the three Avengers began to converse.

"Is this an old message?" Steve questioned, reluctant to believe that it would be anything else.

"Why would it _just_ get through though?" Amelia replied instead of Natasha, reluctant to refuse the first glimmer of hope she'd felt in years. "Bruce helped us with getting everything running years ago.

"It's the front gate," Natasha confirmed with a stern nod, reluctant to do either of the things Amelia and Steve were.

"Ant-man?" He continued on in the background, providing further confirmation that Amelia just didn't know how to take, "Ant-man, I know you know that."

"B-But… it can't be, it can't- he got taken in the Snap." She wasn't sure entirely what was causing the stutter, whether it was fear, excitement, adrenaline, or a mix of all three.

"I need to talk to you guys."

* * *

 **A/N: Hello, how are y'all doing? I'd really like to hear from you again! Reviews motivate the hell out of me! (Do I sound desperate? Possibly.)**

 **To SnowPaws101Reverie, oh my god hello, I'm so happy to see you're still reading this and leaving your FANTASTIC long reviews. Thank you for the poetic compliment, I try my hardest. You may have already noticed this but I fucking love poetic metaphors. AND YUS I WAS HOPING TO SHOCK SOMEONE WITH THE ALONE COMMENT! But nah, Steve and Amelia are 4 lyfe. And oh my god your comment about how she's still all the people she is in her arcs, yassss, thank you so much, I'm glad someone saw that. She's so many different people and its hard for her to fully define herself between all of them, that's been the entire plot of this story. Like, I'm Rhiannon okay, but I'm also Rae, and I'm also an employee, and an abused human, and someone trying to find their place in the world. Identities are so much more than one name and one arc, and when you go through so many changes, it's hard being one person. AND WHY DID EVERYONE EXPECT CHILDREN? I didn't even think about it. Amelia and Steve have put their lives on hold. Though, by this point, it's Amelia who has put their lives on hold. Okay, besides the story, honestly thank you for reviewing and being here for me, I'm posting again but my mindset still isn't great and I REALLY needed your kind words today. I hope you're doing well and HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY.**

 **To LoveFiction2019, I'm so happy to hear that, thank you for always being here and leaving reviews!**

 **To Serenity, way too many people have reviewed asking for kids, there aren't any I'm afraid, but now y'all have got me thinking so who knows what will show up in future chapters**

 **To BuckyBarnes07, hello again! I hope your excitement paid off!**

 **To Emma152, FOR TWO WHOLE WEEKS! And no, they don't have children, though Amelia's gotten hella kinky, she's stepped back from that family life, you'll see why in future chapters.**

 **A huge hulking thank you to all of those that simply read the last chapter (almost at 300,000 reads and if I make it to by the end of my two weeks I think I might cry) and have a wonderful mother trucking day!**


	139. Chapter One-Hundred and Thirty-One

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-ONE**

* * *

"You have such a February face, so full of frost, of storm, of cloudiness"

― **William Shakespeare**

* * *

"Here," Amelia chimed as she dropped a plate of food before Scott Lang, trying not to stare too much as she did so as she'd already spent the past thirty minutes eyeing him up. She just couldn't believe it, even after hugging him to make sure that he was a physical being and not a hallucination,

She was holding back from feeling joy, from accepting that he was one of the first affected by the snap to come back, if she did that. then she might start believing they'd found a way to bring everyone else back and after five years of putting her fragile hope on meaningless ideas, she'd learnt to be much more careful.

Scott looked at her. No, he was analysing her. He'd been doing it with everyone he saw, as though they were all different people from the ones he remembered. She wasn#t with surprised with how much he stared into her eyes, it was quite obvious what he was looking for, _the stars_. But, oh, they'd all gone out a long time ago, even she couldn't remember what they looked like.

When he realised just how intensely he'd been staring into her eyes, he dropped his gaze to the steaming plate Amelia had placed in front of him. He cocked his head. "Lasagne?" Somehow, he'd forgotten about food, too busy discovering all the changes that had happened. But after seeing the meal his stomach released an almost painful growl, it was certainly embarrassing, it was also enough to push Scott to grab the knife and fork Amelia had provided, beginning to dig in.

"Yeah, I made it," she responded. Small talk was safe, she wasn't exactly sure what to say to the enigma before her, which was why she'd immediately gone to prepare him a meal after hugging him.

As he slipped the food into his mouth, his entire body shivered at the taste that awoken his taste buds, a moan erupting from his closed lips. Then, with food still being chewed in his mouth, he declared: "I love you so much right now,"

"Whoa there," Amelia held up a hand, her expression light-hearted as she attempted a joke to break the ice, "you can't just blurt it out in front of my husband, wait until we're alone."

He didn't joke back, instead, his eyebrows rose up along with his widened eyes and he began to look between Amelia and Steve. "You got married?"

The couple looked at each other, almost fond as it had been so long since they'd seen such a reaction, everyone knew of their bond by that point in time. Steve answered for Amelia, "kind of."

 _Kind of_. That was always their response, the only answer they were able to give on their marriage. Not just on their relationship status, but every single part of their union. They were _kind of_ married, and _kind of_ happy and _kind of_ okay and _kind of_ dealing with things fine. Sometimes they were even _kind of_ in love, but that was a very rare occasion and it only ever happened when they stopped _kind of_ dealing with the snappening and what it was the catalyst for, something easily resolved by them putting aside their pride and being understanding of one another.

A silence followed as Steve and Amelia revelled in that thought, as they let the words 'Kind of' repeat over in the back of their minds. Some people described their marriage as 'Always and Forever', yet they described it as 'Kind of'. It was saddening, but not saddening enough to drive either of them to give up on their silly missions.

"Scott, are you okay?" Nat asked, her words louder than usual because she was intentionally battering her fist against the tense silence Amelia and Steve had become lost in. It was surprising that Nat had recognised what had happened immediately as she was more than aware of their tendencies due to her being best friends with the both of them.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said dismissively, shoving another bite of food in his mouth. He didn't sound sincere, and it wasn't just because he couldn't stop filling his mouth with food.

It was his eyes. He held the same eyes everyone did five years ago, ones full of grief, of want, of anger. That had all faded away after the five years that had passed, and it definitely wasn't for the better. It was refreshing seeing that fight again, almost invigorating.

It worked as a reminder for Amelia on why she'd given up her home and enacted marriage with Steve, for why she went on so many missions and never stopped.

"You don't seem all that fine," Amelia observed.

He glanced at her from the corner of his eyes, not knowing how to take the honesty she'd come out with. It at least worked as a reminder for him. It pushed him to return to his reason for being there. "Have you ever studied Quantum Physics?"

"Only to make conversation," Natasha responded.

"Only to try and impress my brother," Amelia added on.

"Right," he replied dismissively, not bothering to delve into what either of the women had said, "so, five years ago, right before Thanos, I was in a place called the Quantum Realm, the Quantum Realm is like its own microscopic universe, to get there you have to be incredibly small."

"Like, the size of an ant?" Amelia once again threw out a joke, trying to ease any serious airs to transform it to something more casual and friendly. It was an annoying habit she'd easily blame Steve for.

"Smaller," Scott said back with a very serious tone which threw aside Amelia's attempt. "Anyway, Hope, who's my… she was my… she was supposed to pull me out of the Quantum Realm, but then Thanos happened, and I got stuck there."

"You got stuck in the Quantum Realm?" Amelia's shock was obvious and it confirmed all of Steve's queries.

"Yes," Scott confirmed Amelia's question with a hard tone.

"I'm so sorry," she shook her head from side to side, her understanding of the subject not completely right as in her mind she was imagining him drifting in an empty realm for five whole years. Five whole lonely years.

That was something Amelia was especially grateful for not having to experience. If she hadn't had Steve or Nat, then she was sure she'd have fallen into the same fate as Gran. She supposed that's exactly why her future self from a different timeline had travelled back and changed things, so that Amelia could be given a chance to do things differently.

Scott scooped up another piece of lasagne but he didn't immediately put it in his mouth, instead he became a little bit more passionate as he revealed a very vital piece of his story, "no, don't be, because you see, for me, it was just _five hours_."

No one had a suitable response as what he said was mind-blowing and they all knew that it was a serious gamechanger.

He shoved the piece of food in his mouth, grateful for their silence as it meant they were able to somewhat understand exactly what he was saying. "See the rules of the Quantum Real aren't like they are up here, everything is unpredictable and- oh my god this lasagne is _amazing_."

"Do you want anymore? I put thirty tubs in Natasha's fridge," The brunette offered, gesturing towards the hidden away kitchen.

"Thirty?" Nat scoffed at the extreme amount of food Amelia really hadn't needed to gift her.

"I will take all of them," Scott answered.

"Concentrate guys," Steve stepped into their conversation, trying to pull them back to the matter of hand which was more important than the lasagne Amelia had been cooking rather than sleeping in bed with him. "Scott, what are you talking about?"

Scott put down his plate and utensils, realising that Cap was right with changing the subject. "What I'm saying is, time works differently in the Quantum Realm, the only problem is right now we don't have a way to navigate it, but what if we did?" Even as he said the words, he knew it was crazy, but after what he'd experienced, it seemed impossible for it not to be possible. "I can't stop thinking about it."

"I think you should, what you're suggesting is impossible as far as I'm aware of," Amelia replied back, reeling back her heart as it jumped to latch on the theory Scott was providing, a theory that could very lead to the answer she'd been looking for, for the past five years.

He stood up, stepping closer to the brunette who seemed to be understanding what he was suggesting better than anyone else. He did repeatedly look back and forth between the soldier and super spy, silently begging them to step in and offer him some sort of support. "I know, the Quantum Realm is chaos as far as we're aware, but what if, somehow, we could control it? What if there was a way to enter the Quantum Realm at a certain point in time but then exit at another point in time? Like…"

"Like before Thanos," Amelia finished for him, looking down, letting little bits of arguments slip through her denial. Could it be possible? Scott had survived the five years inside of the Quantum Realm. Gran had clearly time travelled somehow, though Amelia had initially believed that was because of her powers.

It became clear to everyone after Amelia spoke exactly what Scott was proposing. Steve was the first to step forward, the first to offer another bit of disbelief to Scott's admittedly crazy-sounding theory. "Wait, are you talking about a- a time machine?"

"No, no, of course not. No, not a time machine, it's more like a…" He tried to deny it, but the more he spoke the quieter as he couldn't think of any other way to explain it.

"It'd just be a time machine," he admitted in the end. Once again he searched the Avengers expressions to try and read whether they were with him, or wondering if they should send him to some sort of insane asylum.

He'd forgotten just how great the group were at keeping their emotions hidden, so Scott decided to just continue on with trying to convince them. "I know it's crazy, but I can't stop thinking about it, there's got to be some way… there's gotta be… it's crazy."

"I get emails from a raccoon, so nothing sounds crazy anymore," Natasha spoke up, the first to finally reveal what side of the line she was choosing to stand on.

Amelia was next.

"In my opinion," the brunette looked towards her husband, her expression showing a private desperation he was far too familiar with, "we've exhausted every other option, but we've yet to try the crazy ones."

Seeing that look in her eyes, it made him want to believe. He wanted to have their wedding and their home and their child and their dogs and their sunrise mornings on the porch. But none of that would be possible until they brought back all those they'd lost.

Maybe Scott's theory, as fantastical as it sounded, was the key to unlocking that life for him.

It was clear they were all willing to try it out and Scott couldn't even bother with attempting to hold back his grateful smile. That was why he'd gone to them first. Because he knew the Avengers were people that would keep fighting even when things look impossible. They were heroes.

"So, who do we talk to about this?" He asked, thinking of all the people they'd had on their team with minds that challenged even Hank Pymms (though he'd never say that to Hank's face, of course).

That query had both Natasha and Steve looking towards Amelia. She looked between the both of them innocently for a few seconds, and then when Steve's face revealed an expression of guilt, she finally realised what they were both suggesting. Immediately the brunette shook her head violently.

"He won't do it."

"Amelia-"

"He's done with this life, and rightly so," she defended her brother straight away. Of course she would, Steve thought. The brunette was doing everything she could to make her stubborn brother realise that she wanted to have a proper relationship with him. Almost losing him had certainly been a punishment fit for making her see through her ways, and she'd spent the past five years working on creating a much healthier relationship with Tony. The retired billionaire did the odd thing to prove he was glad for her attempts, but other than that, he still kept her distance.

"We have to try," Steve responded, not as protective of the man he might one day have to call brother-in-law. There was no room for that when it came to the new mission they had.

"Talk to someone else," she countered adamantly, her tone threatening an argument Steve really didn't want to have, "talk to Bruce."

Nat looked between the couple that had stepped closer to each other and clenched their jaws, also not wanting to have to witness an argument between them. It was very rare for arguments to exist, but after five years that didn't mean disagreements never happened, they were inevitable. Still, that didn't mean the redhead wanted to be there when one blew up. "I know you don't want to risk your relationship with him but-"

"No, Nat, you're wrong," Amelia interrupted, not daring to allow her friend to even go there, "he's lost a lot, he's still mourning over Alice and now he's got a family again, I can't make him abandon that for the sake of a mission he already gave up everything for five years ago." She refused for them to see her as the same selfish person she'd been five years ago. She genuinely wanted to help her brother achieve a peaceful life. Perhaps that was why Steve got so angry over it sometimes, because she put more effort into Tony's life than she did hers with Steve.

"Amelia," he sighed, becoming gentle and stepping closer, pressing his hands against her arms which she quickly crossed over her chest, as though that would save her.

"Please, Steve," she begged quietly.

"We've waited five years and there's finally a possibility, a crazy possibility, but we have to try, you just said that," he wasn't talking about bringing everyone back then, he was talking about them, about the restful life that had always been just too far away from them to have.

Her eyes rose up to his. She looked so sad. Amelia always did, and sometimes, so did Steve. In those rare moments when his solder exterior fell apart and he became that tiny guy from Brooklyn facing a world far too large for him to handle. That was one of those rare moments.

Scott watched the exchange, and he also watched her tighten her lips as though she were holding back words, holding herself back from making the leap and getting into contact with her brother. The brother that would allow him to save all of the people he'd lost. Maybe it was selfish, but Scott couldn't let her do that. "You know, when I came back, for three hours, twenty-eight minutes and thirty-one whole seconds - yes I counted - I thought I lost my daughter," his fists tightened as the echo of that feeling cried out in the back of his mind, "there wasn't a single thing I wouldn't have done to save her, and I'm sure there are a billion other people who share that mindset."

"Have you lost her?" Amelia queried, her eyes becoming sympathetic and he realised that was the key, that was her weakness. She cared. Even if he was the world's worst villain, if he told her that he'd lost someone because of the snap, she'd care.

"No," he responded with a bit of relief, it didn't last though because whilst he hadn't lost his daughter, he'd lost so many more people. Ironically, he'd lost _Hope_. "But I've lost my friends, I've lost the woman I love and I didn't even get to properly tell her that."

"Please, Amelia," Steve asked again. She was their only access to Tony, the only one who was in consistent contact with, and possibly the only one he'd give the opportunity to speak.

"You said it years ago, Frecks," Nat intruded again, always able to offer wisdom in the most suitable of moments, " _whatever it takes_."

"Whatever it takes," she repeated, not nearly as fiery as she had all those years ago.

* * *

 **A/N: Hi, I just changed my username because I'm writing the chapter where my character meets Valkrie and I realised our names are super similar. Bye.**

 **To Guest, oh my god thank you! Holy shit, welcome to the review family. You have no idea how hyped I am to write this end battle scene, I have huge things planned ;)**

 **To xLaBellaVita, hiiii, I've missed you! I'm glad you checked on this story as well! And that is way too huge a compliment for this but I'm grateful for it!**

 **To SnowPaws101Reverie, hello again, please keep continuing with the long reviews, they're amazing and give me life! Lol, I've been a huge fan of Paul Rudd since I first watched friends, you can't even imagine how hyped I got when he joined the Marvel universe, I lost my shit man. And yeah, her reaction isn't a big deal at all, everyone would react that way, it's the fact that Steve finds any other emotion but 'I'm on a mission' adorable which breaks my fucking heart. With regards to PDA, hi, I'm asexual and have literally had anxiety attacks because of other peoples PDA. As previously mentioned, I will be showing a more sexual side with this last part of the story just because it's a challenge with regards to myself and my writing and I want to see if I can do it. But yeah, I'm extremely sorry if it makes you uncomfortable, just know that it makes me uncomfortable too lol. And 'a year closer to my death' is exactly what I fucking said on my birthday which was, as of now, six days ago. We're almost birthday buddies lol.**

 **To kuppcake, oh my god, it's so surreal seeing my reviewers again after not uploading for so long. Hi? How are you doing? Amelia is cooking and she's a boss at it now!**

 **To Assbitch67, I'm very disappointed that no other reviews have appeared but hey bish I saw this one. Thank you for still being here, I'm super grateful to have you just cause like we were so close and you kept me sane and helped me so much when I was uploading, it's so strange being back but god damn, you are helping keep me sane and less anxious again.**

 **To BuckyBarnes07, thank you for the review! Glad to hear you're still excited lol.**

 **To Emma152, THANK YOU! Honestly, Endgame is such a rollercoaster, but I am SO EXCITED for you to read what happens when they travel back in time and that last fight. Also, the final fucking chapter, I have so many things planned, it might take me a while to write but I am so hyped for y'all to read it.**

 **And a big thank you to everyone that simply read the chapter, have a wonderful day!**


	140. Chapter One-Hundred and Thirty-Two

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-TWO**

* * *

"You discover that your longings are universal longing, that you're not lonely and isolated from anyone. You belong."

― **F. Scott Fitzgerald**

* * *

"Are we nearly there yet?" Scott whined from the back seat, shuffling closer to Natasha so that he could easily lean towards the two people sitting at the front.

Everyone but he released a groan, sick and tired of that question. Amelia turned her head slightly, not bothering to look him in the eyes. "Scott, you're going the right way for a smacked bottom," her quip came with a poor attempt at a Scottish accent which was more like a British person with a drunken slur.

"Sorry," he mumbled like a child, leaning backwards in his seat and crossing his arms over his chest.

This gave Nat room to lean forward herself, the redhead looking back and forth between the two rapidly. "Did you watch Shrek?" The line had been easily identifiable as one of the movies on Amelia's list (which had on it well over 500, a mix of classics and so-bad-it's-funny movies). When she earned no other response but the slight widening of Amelia's eyes as she realised her slip-up, Natasha had her answer. "You guys said we'd watch it together!"

"You were busy that day," Amelia jumped to defend herself, albeit poorly, "and you've clearly already watched it if you could recognise the line!"

"I'd like to jump in here and say that I played no part in watching it," Steve interjected, much calmer than the other two. He'd already finished his list of films to watch (he'd found himself with a lot more spare time) and it had never included the movie Shrek, despite how much Natasha bigged it up as a masterpiece of a movie. "Tony was the one who watched it with her first."

"What?" Natasha asked, her offence lessened slightly by the fact that Amelia had actually watched the movie with her brother, a brother Nat (as far as she knew) wasn't aware Amelia was seeing.

It was an uncomfortable subject, one they rarely touched upon. Somehow an unspoken rule had come into existence where they didn't mention any bad things to Amelia. It started with Steve who'd asked Nat not to mention little things because he didn't like seeing his wife sad, or, _sadder_. Then, after five years passed of them doing so, there were a lot of things that had simply become taboo. They needed to keep Amelia distracted from the bad.

Natasha didn't hate the rule. She understood it very well. Bad things happened when Amelia got too sad.

The only thing that Nat hated, was how on the edge of sad Amelia always seemed to be. There were metaphorical chains and balls weighing down parts of her body and she was fighting every day to keep moving, that was why she couldn't stop, because the moment she did, she feared she'd never move again.

"It was during one of the days he lets me see Morgan, and she wanted to watch Shrek," Amelia explained with a shrug, a recognisable uncomfortable tension beginning to shroud her where once power had blossomed.

"So, do you see Tony a lot?"

Steve looked back in the mirror and met Nat's eyes, the both of them feeling an uproar of panic because Scott had mentioned one of the taboos.

Amelia saw it. The way they looked at each other. She saw it the same way she'd overheard them having a conversation one time about how they needed to avoid the subject of Tony, or Thor, or any of the missing people in order to keep her calm. For some reason, their care rattled her even more than those conversation topics. It was like an orbital magnetism that pulled up a sunrise of panic within her chest and the heat would burn her so badly, she needed to get it out somehow.

Annoyingly, the only way to get rid of the panic born from her worrying about their worrying, was to show that she was completely fine with a subject that she wasn't actually completely fine with.

"Not really, I see Pepper and Morgan a lot, but he tries to steer clear," she supplied her words through a tight voice and a nonchalant shrug. Steve and Natasha looked to her then, as though they were both expecting some sort of big break down. Considering her track record, she couldn't blame them. But still, it felt like their eyes were shooting lasers out of them, cutting through her skin. It made her fidget in her seat slightly.

"Who's Morgan?" Scott asked innocently, gaining questionable glances from the rest of the group as they believed, from all the information that had been provided, that it was quite obvious who Morgan was.

Amelia still took pity and provided an answer. "His daughter."

"He has a daughter?" He guffawed back, his mind struggling to wrap around the thought that the world's most-renowned playboy could have actually settled down and started a family. He'd known about Pepper, but even then, the lifestyle that the great Iron Man lived didn't seem to have enough room to fit in a small child that needs constant care and affection.

"Yeah, she's adorable," Amelia responded, an adoring smile taking place on her features. Little did she know the slight twinge of pain that was brought to Steve as he wished they could have been discussing their own child instead.

"Nothing like her father," Steve grumbled, unable to hold back _all_ of his jealousy.

It just felt unfair sometimes that Tony had gotten the life he and Amelia had been aiming for. It wasn't necessarily Tony's fault, but it was easier to blame the billionaire who had caused him so much frustrating than it was to blame his struggling wife.

"Watch it," Amelia warned, just two words that managed to silence Steve immediately, almost as though they'd had to share similar words many times before.

"So, I guess he moved on pretty easily then," Scott began to mumble, "from what I can gather, he gave up the suit and just left Earth to fix itself."

The brunette wondered if he felt guilty. Guilty about all the years he missed. Guilty about all the people he hadn't been there for. She could certainly understand that."No, he was just… he was working on fixing himself,"

Scott's eyes caught hers as she swivelled her head around just enough to look at him."What do you mean?"

Amelia sighed for a second, just a quick puff of air, an exhale of release as she began to visit the memories which stained her mind. "Well, he got stuck in space, left alone with his thoughts of failure, his guilt manifested whilst his body wasted away, he really was the farthest thing from okay…"

* * *

Amelia walked into the house behind her brother, three boxes in her arms. She was clearly struggling under the weight but she didn't care, the brunette was determined to carry as much as possible, determined to not be as weak as her powerless body would sometimes make her feel.

Her brother, on the other hand, had chosen to carry only one, and even then his body was swaying. He'd barely recovered. Tony had managed to put some weight back on, but the physiotherapy he had would only get him so far as he struggled taking orders from other people. The lack of bodily control became clear as he dropped the box titled 'kitchen' down onto the floor, his hands became limb before he'd requested so and there was a horrible clang of glass that made him fear opening the box.

His sister quickly dropped the boxes down in the front room and rushed over, her hand making contact with his arm as he stood back up, shaking his twitching hand. It had been damaged long before his misadventures in space, but he'd never bothered with getting it fixed, that turned out to be a big mistake as his body was ruined even further.

"Hey Tony, careful," she mothered, "why don't you sit down-"

Tony quickly swatted her hand away, "I'm fine."

"Right," she responded strictly, trying to keep any emotion from coming out of her words as it might have shown how hurt she was at the cold tone he had used (and had been using)."I, uh, I've managed to get most of the boxes in and I put them in the rooms you wanted."

"Thanks, you can probably go now, Pepper will be home soon," he excused, continuing to make it very clear that he didn't want her there.

She couldn't be all that offended as it was exactly what she'd expected. The only reason she was there was because Pepper had requested she helped Tony with moving due to her being busy at work. Or, what was left of her work, anyway.

The brunette began to wave her hand, moving back over to the front room. "Nonsense, I'll help you unpack as well."

"Amel-"

"It's so weird seeing all your stuff like this," she interrupted, knowing that Tony was only going to request that she leave, "like, you owned entire towers, yet you can somehow fit all of your personal belongings in about twenty boxes and three plastic bags."

"I used to have a lot of unnecessary stuff in my life, I'm currently in the middle of trying to detox my life of all the bad." He mumbled whilst following her into the lounge, clearly giving up on his mission to rid her from the house he didn't even want her knowing about.

"Yeah." That was the only response she had at first as it was very obvious that he was referring to more than just his household objects. "Um," she sounded, hating the silence that followed. "it's a good idea, I mean, me and Steve and trying to do stuff, rather than just sitting and wallowing."

"Uh-huh," he moved towards a box, opening it up and beginning to empty its insides. Amelia copied him.

"We've started this support group for all the people left behind who need to figure out how to deal with the loss, Steve is probably going to run it mostly, but I'm going to be there in the backdrop, offering as much support as I can along with some cookies," she explained, beginning to sound a little bit more cheerful as she explained the project that had busied her life. She sounded fake.

"That's great," he responded, but he didn't sound enthusiastic at all. He sounded fake too.

She knew that he wasn't happy about her and Steve, after learning of their relationship he'd pulled away even further. As far as he was concerned, all Amelia had done by reuniting with Steve was further prove that she was still the same person that had cared very little for her brother's well-being.

She knew it, and she also didn't know what to do about it.

Especially when Steve was also feeling such toxicity towards Tony who he believed was being far more cruel towards Amelia than necessary. Of course he didn't want to see her in pain, but Amelia had told him many times that she deserved it. Recently she'd learned to stop saying such things, as that only seemed to motivate his rage further.

Quiet settled and the both of them seemed to agree that it was for the best as they continued to empty boxes and place objects in places they hoped Pepper would agree with.

Amelia was the first to finish a box, and so she moved onto her second. She used a knife clumsily to tear open the box, stupidly bringing it towards her but somehow managing to avoid any accidents despite the swiftness she'd used. Tony had watched from the side of his eyes, seeing how expertly she'd held the knife in her hand, so in control that it didn't matter what she would do with the knife, it would always obey her as she was the master of that weapon.

She opened up the box, revealing to herself the next items that she'd need to put around the front room. Except, what she found was quite strange. It was filled with small clothes and numerous toys. It was a box full of items that belonged to a child.

"What is all of this stuff?" She questioned curiously, grabbing a hold of a pure white teddy in the shape of a wolf. It looked old, the marble eyes scratched and worn, yet the body of it remained so clean it could have passed as brand new.

Tony jumped quickly (as quickly as he could, anyway) from the couch and wandered over to where she was crouched on the floor after seeing the item she'd pulled from the box. His eyes were wide and his cheeks were becoming a strange rosy hue, one she wasn't able to recognise as she'd never seen her face whilst blushing. He peered over her, into the box, able to attach every item to a memory that he'd stored in the back of his mind.

He worked on his expression, narrowing his eyes so that his face looked more bored than anything else. "Oh, that should be for the attic."

"There are kids toys in here," she continued, far too intrigued to simply let the subject go, "is there something you need to tell me."

"No." As much as he pretended to not know who his sister was anymore, he still knew that once she'd found something new and intriguing, she couldn't let it go. He took hold of the wolf teddy in her hand, taking it into his own. It had all that had been left of her existence. The only thing the police had to offer him after her disappearance. "All these are yours."

She looked back down to the box, seeing the objects in a new light, one she couldn't tell if it was happy or not. "They're baby Amelia's things?" He let out a hum of confirmation, hiding any reaction he had to the fact that she'd referred to them as someone else's. "Wow." She moved aside some clothes, searching deeper into the box. It was the box that held all the prospects she'd once had. It was the beginning of a life that had been stolen from her. It was humbling until she found a porcelain doll at the bottom, hidden beneath every other item. Its eyes were wide and blue, staring deep into her soul and creating a chill she did not appreciate going down her spine. She immediately reached in and grabbed it out of the box, showing it to Tony. "Wait, what the hell is that?"

Rather unexpectedly, he began to laugh. It was the first time she'd seen him smile in years. He took the doll from her hands, inspecting it closer whilst wearing an expression of disgust.

"It was one of mums dolls from her childhood that she gave you," he started to explain, "I said _so many times_ that the thing looked awful and was absolutely terrifying, but she refused to accept it. Then one night you came crying in my room, you couldn't really talk, you said something about eyes, but when we went back to your room you kept pointing at the doll. I took it out and dumped it in the bin, but the next day when I went to check on you the doll had returned to its little chair in the corner of your room."

Amelia pulled her head back, "what the hell?"

"Yeah, I know, I was so scared, for months I couldn't even go near the thing," he carried on, waving his hands around animatedly, just like he'd used to do. "Then it turns out that mum had found it in the rubbish and put it back because she still couldn't understand how terrifying it looks."

She laughed along with her brother for the first time in too many years and it felt _good_. It was probably the first time she felt happy outside of the lazy mornings when she and Steve would wrap their bodies around each other.

The brunette reached out and stole the doll from her brother's hands, immediately throwing it back inside of the box, closing the lid tightly and hoping that it might contain the evil toy contained. "Yeah, this definitely needs to go in an attic," She lifted her hands off the lid, wrapping her arms around the box so she could stand up with it pulled against her chest, "preferably one with a locked door and booby traps on the inside in case anything becomes suddenly animated."

Tony reached out and wrapped his arms around the box, holding it much like how she was. "I'll take them up."

"You sure?" She questioned, reluctant to let go of the object in her arms.

Rather than responding, he simply pulled it from her arms and, because she didn't want to make him hate her any more than he did already, she let him. He began to walk away towards the staircase, stopping for a moment to turn back to her and quip: "You can see that I'm not in a wheelchair anymore, right?"

She shrugged her shoulders, giving him a guilty half-smile. "Sorry."

He took her words for what they were as he began to walk upstairs. Amelia didn't really do anything whilst he was upstairs, she was too busy concentrating on every sound he made.

Thankfully, he made it downstairs unharmed. He trotted towards the kitchen confidently, secretly proud of himself and he'd been waiting for himself to either drop the box or fall down the attic stairs as much as his sister had.

"Want some juice? I think Pepper stocked the fridge." He yelled out, inviting her to join him.

She wasted no time before following him, feeling a rise of joy in her heart begin to soar because it was the first time he'd requested her company. Things were starting to look up. "Sure."

It was nice. Exactly that. The entire situation was _nice_. She was spending time with her brother and they were acting like a normal, everyday, family. He was going into the fridge and grabbing two glasses, pouring them some orange juice. She was sitting at the kitchen counter, face in her hands, staring out at the beautiful lake right on the doorstep of her brothers home. It felt like a family moment she'd only ever seen in movies. It was so ordinary, yet in her eyes, it was a rare moment. One she'd never get again.

But, Amelia realised, she wanted more moments like that. Where Tony was her brother, and she was TOny's sister. They were the last of the Starks, and despite all the messes she made, that did mean something to her in the end.

"So," she began, taking her head out of her hands and resting them on the counter she was leaning against, beginning to fiddle with her fingers.

"So," Tony repeated as he handed over one glass of orange juice.

"I've been thinking," she began slowly, leaving room between each word for him to interrupt. She didn't know why. It was like she was giving him every opportunity to turn her away, to punish her.

"Very dangerous," he quipped before taking a sip out of his glass.

"Rude," she bantered back, taking her own sip that was merely a drip which fell into her mouth as she was concentrating more on the opportunity she wanted to present her brother. "Anyway, I've been thinking, it might be nice if we start arranging like monthly meet-ups."

The glass was pulled away from her brother's mouth slowly, but she didn't take that as a sign of anything. Instead, she continued on.

"You know, we could start out small, the odd meal here and there, maybe move up to times where Steve can come around as well and hang out, like double dates, we always said we'd go on one of those but never got round to it-"

"I'm gonna stop you right there, Amelia," he finally interrupted, just as she'd expected him to. He placed the glass down and pressed two closed fists against the countertops, his shoulders become hunched and his eyes looking everywhere but towards her. "What's happening right now, you helping me out, that's a favour I am doing for Pepper because she practically begged me to and I love her."

"Tony…" She tried to prevent him from continuing, she hadn't realised how cruel he would be.

No, that was a lie, that was something she tried to tell herself. She knew he would be cruel because she had been far crueller to him.

"I wasn't lying when I said that I was done," he continued despite her interruption, "not just with the Avenger's but with you as well, because you're still a part of that, you're still thinking about missions and you're even back with Steve which is setting off so many alarm bells."

"We're not like we were before, _I'm_ not," she tried to argue, truly believing what she said. She needed to. She _demanded_ not to be how she once was, because that person had led Gran to become the one thing Amelia would always refuse.

"Maybe so," he replied, his lacklustre response showing his disbelief in her statement. "But I'm not going to believe it until I see it."

That's exactly what she was attempting to do. There was nothing else she really could do, no other opportunity to present itself which would allow her to show her brother that she wasn't as dim and as selfish as she might have once been. She was becoming exactly the person she wanted to be. Someone who was there for everyone, who offered light in the darkest of moments and felt no tempting darkness within. "I'm really trying here Tony,"

"Oh, is that what this is? You moving some boxes for me?" He pointed his hands towards the few pieces of meaningless cardboard stuffed with meaningless items that she'd been allowed to bring in (he didn't point to the attic), then he rested his hand back on the counter. "I could pay strangers to do it and it will still hold as much meaning."

"You're being harsh," she crossed her arms over her chest. Not angrily, it was more like she was hugging herself. If Steve was there, then he'd have been doing that for her, but they'd both agreed that for the time being it was more important that Tony get used to seeing her than it was him seeing Steve.

"Maybe," he breathed out a tired gust of air, looking down at his hands. They were still so thin, so fragile. "But as far as I can tell, I'm just finally demanding you to treat me the way you should have."

His eyes rose to meet hers. They weren't like hers, they were so much duller. "My nightmares were the ugly doll in the corner of my room, and you cared about them for all of ten seconds before you forgot and just moved onto issues with Steve,"

"And I'm sorry," she urged, wishing she could just wander around the counter which stood between them and hug her brother. Yet, even as she said the words, she knew they weren't enough. Amelia still didn't know what _would_ be enough.

Tony didn't know either, which is why he couldn't walk around the counter and hugged her back despite how much he hated seeing that hurt expression on his sisters face. "And I'm sorry too, because I still can't forgive you."

It began to build, that emotion, that torrential flood which threatened everything. It once had, anyway, until she lost her powers. Such strong emotions used to be powerful, they used to threaten entire worlds, but after the space stone was destroyed they just became tears, and she was ashamed of them. "Maybe I should go," she mumbled, sniffling accidentally as she concentrated too hard on keeping any and all signs of weakness hidden.

"Honestly, I think that'd be for the best," Tony responded, aware of how his words were just another stab to the heart.

It's what she needed to hear, he told himself, she needed to realise the wreckage he'd made him into and pay the consequences for that.

* * *

"And ever since then, Pepper has been the one arranging our meetings," Amelia summarised, "I think her and Tony only agreed to let me see Morgan because of what happened to my-"

"Yeah, I heard about that," he cut her off. It might have been selfish, but he didn't want to hear her talking about losing her child, not after undergoing that exact same stress. "I'm really sorry."

Another shrug, another attempt at pretended to be unaffected. "It's fine, it happened years ago."

"Can you still… you know, have kids?"

Amelia opened her mouth to respond to him, but Steve interrupted. Whether it was on purpose or not, remained a mystery. "We're here."

"Right," Amelia huffed, her eyes sharpening as she went into mission mode, "best prepare yourselves."

* * *

 **A/N: Hi.**

 **To LoveFiction2019, thank you ^^**

 **To Guest, perhaps, not in this chapter, but perhaps**

 **To Guest No.2, well that depends which fanfic you're questioning**

 **To Pitspee, HI! It's fine, don't worry about, I've been waiting to see you review but mostly cause I enjoy seeing familiar faces and knowing my fanfic still matters to some people, I hope you're doing well and stuffs**

 **To BuckyBarnes07, I'm glad to see you're excited for more, here, have more, you still excited?**

 **To Emma152, I hope to have Amelia affect more stuff and fit in far better, especially with that last part, gosh darn!**

 **And a huge thank you to everyone that simply read the chapter, you're just as important and special! Live a long and happy life!**


	141. Chapter One-Hundred and Thirty-Three

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-THREE**

* * *

"Let it hurt until it can't hurt anymore."

― **Liam Ryan**

* * *

The house built before them looked so, so, _lovely_. It had certainly been upgraded since Amelia had first helped her brother move in. New rooms and features had been added expertly, building such a picturesque home, the kind that they'd print in real estate magazines to try and charm people into buying homes that would never be able to come close to the magic captured in that photo.

It brought a warm feeling to Amelia's heart at first, but it quickly turned cold as it reminded her of the decaying, dusty building sitting atop a Wakandan hill, begging for a family to embrace its walls.

Amelia was glad her brother had been able to embrace one of his own, but it still brought a bout of jealousy she quickly had to dismiss. After all, it was her own actions which prevented them from achieving their dream life.

She believed that her situation was different to her brothers. Whilst he was a free man able to do what he wanted, she was a prisoner, chained down by the consequences of her previous action, by the fact that she'd failed in saving so many people, essentially killing them. There was only one way to rid her life sentence, and that was by bringing all those who perished by her mistake back to the world of the living.

That was her mission. That was why she was there.

Her mind had almost gone back onto focusing on that matter, but then her eyes caught sight of a small brunette popping their head up by a window. Before she'd even blinked, that head was gone and the front door to the house was opening up.

A small child began to run towards her, arms open wide. "Auntie Mia!"

Steve hadn't felt any sort of tight squeeze on his heart until that moment. He didn't care about where they lived, as long as he was with her than he was happy. What his heart truly desired more than anything else was a peaceful life for the two of them, a life that couldn't be achieved for the same reason Amelia believed they couldn't have their home.

The chains.

They prevented the both of them from being able to embrace a child. It would have been cruel to bring up a child surrounded by so much cold, rusting, metal.

"Hey, kiddo," Amelia cheered with a sugary sweet voice which only appeared when she was around Morgan (along with any time she was trying to charm Steve into giving her something). The child in her arms looked like a perfect mix of both Tony and Pepper, every time Amelia saw her it made images appear in her head on what exactly her child with Steve would look like. Some thoughts were so painful that they were addictive. But they were also so painful that they needed to be saved for more private times. Not when she was holding such an angel in her arms. It seemed almost evil to even dare speak of anything negative in the presence of her. "You been up to much mischief? Keeping your dad on his toes?"

"No," she said, her words accompanied with a giggle that suggested otherwise.

Amelia brought up her hand and tickled her fingers against Morgan's side, the child quickly releasing a series of high-pitched giggles. "Right, you're a little angel," the brunette chuckled along with the child.

Following behind at a much slower pace was Tony, he left the porch of his home slowly, taking in the presence of his four visitors. His hair stood on its ends as he saw his sister holding his child, surrounded by the people that were once his comrades.

It wasn't that he didn't trust her, he'd seen her with his child plenty of times and Pepper had assured him more times than that, that she was a very capable and loving person with children. That didn't stop him from seeing what was plainly in front of him though. It was Amelia, tainted by the life that had once poisoned his existence, a life of blood and haunting nightmares that never ceased, it was a life that seeped into the lives of others that weren't even involved. It was a life that children never deserved to experience. That was why he was so strict when it came to her interactions with Morgan, the greatest thing in his life, the only _good_ thing (other than Pepper, but even she didn't come as close as the purity Morgan possessed).

His cautious movements were eventually spotted by Amelia who looked up, her laughter dying but her smile remaining. Despite the bad news she knew she was about to bring him, it was difficult for her to not be happy to see her brother, especially when visits were few and far between.

He didn't match the smile as his expression continued to convey the wariness he felt within. "Pepper didn't tell me you were coming over today," was all he said. He hello, no 'welcome to my humble abode'. That would come later, after he knew whether their visit was a good or bad thing.

Amelia's mouth opened, but no words came out. She felt a little stuck because she didn't want to tell him the reason for why she was there as she didn't want to give him any more reason to hate her.

Steve had been far too busy appreciating (and loathing) the image before him of Amelia holding a child, that he didn't notice her begin to stutter. Luckily, Scott did. From what little understanding he'd been given, he knew that things were tense between the two siblings, tense enough to call for him stepping forward. He greeted the billionaire with an awkward wave in his hard which made it clear that Scott knew he had no place to be speaking in that moment. "This is a surprise visit," he explained, with enough audacity to make it sound like a good thing, "we need to talk to you."

The words 'we need to talk' had always had some sort of harrowing effect on him, especially when it was Pepper saying those words. It wasn't nearly as bad, but it still had him becoming even more reluctant towards their visit. He began to rub his hands together, looking towards the forest rather than the team. "Well, I've got a pretty busy afternoon-"

"It's important," Steve interrupted, deciding to cut corners and get straight to the point. All Tony was going to do was try and avoid a conversation with them, they'd known he would from the very beginning and he also knew that they'd eventually get him to hear them out. There was no point wasting time on trying to persuade him into doing so.

There was no soft or welcoming expression on Tony's face when it came to Steve, there was only quiet distaste. That expression was the very reason why Steve and Tony hadn't even seen each other over the past five years, let alone engaged. All interactions were done during times when Steve dropped off or picked up Amelia.

Rather than responding to the soldier that had damaged his sister, and in Tony's mind, his family. He looked towards his only blood relative there, eyes analytic. "Like, I'm pregnant important, or mission important?"

It was almost like Tony trusted her more than the others, but Amelia told herself that simply wasn't the case. "Which one of those will get you to hear us out?"

He sighed. "It's mission important then," the gloom wrapped around his every syllable was heard loud and clear, but his disapproval of the lifestyle Amelia had chosen to live over the past five years had been nothing but direct. He walked over, taking his daughter from Amelia's arms and she released the child without any arguments. "Morgan, go find your mum and tell her the dysfunctional Brady bunch is here."

Morgan began to walk away but she did turn around one last time to wave at her auntie. To the surprise of everyone else, she also waved to them too, giving each an engaging smile. "Bye-bye."

"Bye sweetie," Amelia hummed, wishing she'd been given a little more time with her niece.

* * *

An hour later and everything had been explained to him. How Scott had ended up trapped in the Quantum Realm, how he'd witnessed first hand how time worked differently, and how they all wished to explore that further.

Tony listened. Amelia could at least be grateful for that as she certainly hadn't expected it after Scott first brought up the idea of 'time travel'. He'd listened but kept his mouth shut, simply absorbing everything they had to say on the matter.

"Now, we know what it sounds like…" Scott began to laugh nervously, and it wasn't very surprising seen as he was stood in front of the man he'd always envisioned as the worlds genius, talking about what had always been a crazy-person dream, whilst said idol kept his words sealed away whilst beginning to pour some strange drink.

Tony truly had changed, he'd become more organic, more reliant on the Earth. Amelia always told Steve how humble he'd become. The suits were long abandoned, attention was unnecessary, it was his family which had become a priority and the suits, the experiments, they were long forgotten. Steve had always struggled to believe in the idea that someone like Tony could completely give up his tinkering ways despite how much Amelia praised him for being able to change. Perhaps it was because he knew Tony better than Amelia did, or perhaps it was that bitter jealousy rearing its ugly head again, unable to accept the idea that Tony had managed to change whilst he struggled to do the same with his own wife.

"Tony, after everything you've seen, is anything really impossible," Steve spoke up, trying to sway the quiet genius more.

"Quantum fluctuation messes with the Planck scale, which then triggers the Deutsch proposition, can we agree on that?" Tony responded quickly.

"Not that we're idiots, but please keep in mind who you're talking to here," Amelia offered her words quietly, like a slave unbefitting to feed a god.

He'd used such language to make one thing clear to them, that they had no idea what they were talking about. He raised an eyebrow to Amelia, knowing that she knew enough to acknowledge exactly what she was saying. So why had she been holding back? It was hard for him to figure out. But then again, he'd stopped trying to figure her out a long time ago. "In layman's terms, it means you're not coming home," Tony eventually said to the other three Avengers.

"I did," Scott replied back, not caring what Tony said. _He'd_ managed to get back, that was proof of a chance. As small as it might have been, it was still a chance.

"No, you accidentally survived," Tony countered back, waving his hand, clearly trying not to be offensive as he cleared his throat and reworded whatever he'd been about to say initially, "it's a billion to one cosmic fluke, and now you wanna pull off a… what do you call it?"

Tony offered Scott one of the glasses of brown-ish gloop, his host skills certainly having improved as before he would have just left an open bar for the visitor to pick whatever they wanted.

Scott took it, not knowing what else to do despite his stomach demanding he not attempt to drink whatever had been placed in his hand. He began to make ever-changing expressions, as though he was wavering on a title, before settling on what he'd hoped would be the least cringy. "A time heist?"

"Yeah, a time heist, of course, why didn't we think of this before?" Tony looked towards Steve, showing off that trademark-sarcasm he used to pull of twenty-four-seven. "Oh, because it's laughable? Because it's a pipedream?"

Amelia closed her eyes, looking down as she faced exactly what she'd known would be inevitable. Tony had lost hope a long time ago, that's why he was able to fall so easily into such a peaceful life. But she hadn't. None of them had. None of them could. "I don't think so," she dared to say.

"The stones are in the past, we can go back and get them," Steve carried on from his wife's words.

"We can snap our own fingers, we can bring everyone back." Natasha backed up her friend, hoping that her own voice of reason might reach through the wall he'd built between himself, his sister, and his sisters 'husband'.

"Or screw it up worse than he already has, right?" The genius pointed out.

"I don't believe we would," Steve countered back straight away, ready for a verbal battle. Ready to be hopeful against Tony's persistent negativity.

"Gotta say, sometimes I miss that giddy optimism," Tony bantered back, and just like that, it felt like the team were back in old times, "however, high hopes won't help if there's no logical, tangible way for me to safely execute said 'time heist', I believe the most likely outcome would be our collective demise."

Steve turned away from Tony and Amelia recognised the behaviour as Steve reeling back in his own snappy remarks as they would be no use against someone like Tony. It was then the brunette chose to step away from the wall she was leaning against, becoming more engaged in the debate she had been reluctant to start in the first place. "It's a risk we've taken plenty of times before."

"And look how all those times ended up," Tony replied easily, meeting his sister's eyes and it almost hurt seeing his discontent so clear in his eyes.

"We've been here before, we've recovered before," she argued. That's what she'd been holding onto for all those years, the fact that they'd managed to win every fight they'd had before.

Every night, when the loss weighed heavier on her than the arm Steve wrapped around her waist, she thought about all the impossible things she'd survived, and all the things she'd done with the Avengers, all those lives they've saved and all those battles she'd won. That was sometimes the only thing which brought her comfort.

But she'd already told that to Tony, and he'd already pretty much denied sharing those feelings. In his mind, every fight was just a waste of time, another step they'd take to the loss he'd always seen and constantly tried to warn them about.

Her brother cocked his head to the side, looking at her as though she was a completely different person to the one he'd recognised as his sister. "You've said that so many times, but have you recovered?"

The question was unexpected and unanswerable. No, she clearly hadn't recovered and she clearly wouldn't until the fight was resolved. She didn't know what he knew though. That there was only one possible victory they could have achieved, and that had long passed. Stephen Strange had told him so right before they'd lost the battle against Thanos.

Scott once again felt the intensity of the siblings fractured bond and tried to step in, dropping his glass on the table and moving closer to Tony so that he could become the focus of the conversation. "Listen, we could do this as long as we strictly follow the rules of time travel, that means no talking to our past selves, no betting on sporting events-"

"I'm gonna stop you right there, Scott," Tony held up a hand, relaxing in one of the seats set out in his porch, "are you seriously telling me that your plan to save the universe is based on Back To The Future?"

Scott paused, long enough to let the rest of the team know that he was indeed basing their plan to save the universe on a movie. "No."

"Good, you had me worried there because that would be horse shit," he continued on disbelievingly, "that's not how quantum physics works."

"Tony," Nat took control of the conversation once more, trying to pull forth the decency she knew Tony held, "we have to take a stand." It was clear from the way she spoke her words just how much Nat was wanting him to join their side again. The bags under her eyes weighed as heavily as the desperation in her tone of voice.

"We did stand, and yet, here we are." He wasn't his sister. He wouldn't accept the weight of the world on his shoulders. The only weight on his shoulders needed to be his daughters, his wife's. They were all that mattered, they were the only thing he needed to fight for.

The world had done nothing for him, all they'd done is paint him in cruel imagery, even his closest friends, _even his sister_ , had joined in on that. So what was the point in working on a better future for them?

The answer was laid before him, and it was even photographed inside of his house. But he couldn't see that with Steve present, with the man that had torn his remaining family to shreds.

Scott huffed, making Tony turn back to face him as it was clear he wouldn't be getting an answer from either his sister or her husband.

"I know you got a lot on the line, you've got a wife, a daughter, but I lost someone very important to me, a lot of people did," Scott explained, practically begging in tone "and now, now we have a chance to bring her back, bring everyone back, and you're telling me that you won't even-"

"That's right, Scott, I won't even, I got a kid," Tony interrupted after Scott started to get a little too passionate. He knew what he was saying wasn't what anyone wanted to hear, but it was what he needed to say, what he had to do.

As if on cue, said kid exited onto the porch, immediately walking over to her father. The moment her arms were raised, Tony reached out with his own and raised her up so she was seated on his lap. "Mommy told me to come save you," Morgan explained, resting her head against her father's shoulders as though she knew the turmoil he was feeling.

He held her tightly, grateful for the way she was being. It was clear as day. Morgan was his glue. "Good job, I'm saved," he responded and his words meant far more than that situation they were in. There was no doubt in either Amelia's or Tony's mind that if Morgan wasn't there, life would be completely different for the both of them. Amelia might not have been in Tony's life anymore if it wasn't for Morgan.

Tony stood up with Morgan still resting against him. He turned to Amelia, the sister he'd barely seen over the past few months, with one question weighing heavy on his mind.

"Amelia," he called.

"Tony," she replied, meeting his eyes with a wary expression. Her body automatically stiffened as she became engaged in a solo conversation with him. She didn't like things being concentrated on her anymore, especially when it regarded the brother that had made it very clear how judgemental he was of her current lifestyle.

That judgement became clear as he spoke further. "How many missions have you been on in the past month?"

"What?" The question came out of nowhere and it wasn't something she'd expected, nor could she see how it related to what they'd initially been there to discuss.

"How many times have you gone and risked your life in the past month?" He repeated the question once more bravely. When Amelia looked to Steve helplessly, clearly having an answer she was unsure of giving up, he sighed and began to shake his head. "See, you can't even answer me." Tony turned to Steve then, as, in his mind, the soldier was the real problem. "That's what you've done, in case I haven't made that clear enough yet, you've made my sister into a soldier."

Steve knew that. He knew that, and he'd done everything he could to change things but Amelia was just too far gone. Everything she did had to have a purpose, it had to lead to something good. She couldn't possibly just exist which was something he'd managed to learn after his year away from her when he was building their house. It was like they'd passed each other and gone in opposite directions, but they were still holding on tightly to each other's hands. As long as they had that, he believed they could fight it out. They were just going through a rough patch.

No one defended Amelia, neither did the brunette herself. That was answer enough.

That didn't mean he was happy with what he'd gotten. Even after all those years, Tony was still hopeful that one day he might hear Amelia had achieved a safe life, away from war, away from catastrophe, away from the pain that came with it.

"We lost, the battle is over and these are the cards we've been dealt with, yet she can't even accept that because her mentality is that she's the one who needs to fix things, even if it means destroying herself," Tony continued to Steve, using the opportunity before him to try one more time to get Steve to become more forceful with his sister. In Tony's understanding, Amelia hadn't had a life away from fighting and she couldn't even imagine one without, that was something she needed to be given.

"That's not on him," Amelia quickly defended, at least able to acknowledge all the attempts Steve had made over the past five years to get her to abandon her missions and just move into the house he'd built for them, "in fact, I'm the one who's keeping us in New York."

"I just want you to be happy for once Mia," Tony tried.

"I'll be happy when our family is back together."

"I have my family," he quarrelled, refusing to feel guilty as the family she wanted wasn't possible because of her.

"What about Alice?"

"Fixing this won't bring her back."

"It could."

"No, it couldn't, because we _can't do it_ ," he continued on, mentally slapping away all balls of hope she attempted to throw his way, "I get it, you're as stubborn as I am, but as far as I can see, you're fighting for all of the wrong things."

"She's being hopeful, Tony," Steve stepped closer to his wife, offering a hand in her trying time as the pain was clear on her expression. It was blank, void of all emotion, and that was the biggest give away that she was hurting inside. Gratefully, Amelia took his hand into her own. "Maybe hope is exactly what we need right now."

"Well I'm sorry but you're not going to find any of that here," the billionaire returned honestly. He knew it built him as a bad guy because he refused to even acknowledge such a thing as hope, but that was what he needed to do. Hope was the bad guy in his eyes, it threatened to take him away from the life he'd managed to build. Tony didn't feel all that bad until he saw Amelia force herself to look away from him, instead, glaring at her hand intertwined with Steve's, as though she was silently demanding that image to give her some comfort. Tony needed to turn away from that image, or else he'd start fixating on Morgan, begging her to bring him some sort of comfort as well. "Look, I wish you'd come here to ask me something else, anything else. I- I missed you guys."

"Tony," Steve secretly squeezed Amelia's hand, letting her know that he was still her priority. She squeezed back, letting him know how grateful she was. "I know I'm not your favourite person in the world, but I hope you understand that I get where you're coming from and I- _we_ are both really happy for you, but this is a second chance."

"I got my second chance right here, Cap," Tony replied, gently patting the back of his daughter, "maybe you should start thinking about getting one of your own."

It was a low blow and Tony knew that, he knew that Steve and Amelia were trapped in a life neither of them wanted but felt obligated to endure. They weren't like him, they couldn't just step away from the blame weighing on their shoulders, they weren't selfish like him, at least in Steve's eyes.

"I'd invite you for lunch, but I'm not sure you're able to avoid talking shop," Tony continued.

"Yeah, you're right," Amelia answered for the group bitterly, the angered side taking control of herself for a second and that told her that she really needed to walk away before any further words passed through. She didn't want to offend anyone, she didn't want to make anyone feel unhappy, not intentionally.

"Amelia," the soldier tried calling out to her as she rushed away, but she did not respond. As guilty as she felt, any response she gave would have been too emotional.

"Seriously Steve," Tony interjected, witnessing the exact same thing he was, "I don't know how many times I need to say this to you, but Amelia deserves better." Steve and Tony shared knowing looks. For the first time, they were agreeing on one thing. Amelia was damaged, and she needed help. She needed to not be living in that lifestyle. Steve gave Tony a helpless look, as though he didn't know what to do with her. Tony walked away, because their relationship issues weren't his problem anymore.

"You don't need to tell me that, I already know," Steve responded, able to gain some comfort for his guilt from Nat who rested her hand on his shoulder.

After Tony had walked away, there was no point in them staying anymore so they dejectedly picked up their fragmented spirits and began to walk back to the car Amelia was already waiting beside. She was tapping her foot repeatedly, unable to stand still in the fear that she'd have some sort of mental breakdown.

Before they arrived, Scott shared some understanding look with Natasha and entered the car after she unlocked it, shutting the door with a slam so that the brunette would know she was left alone with her two closest friends.

"You okay?" Steve asked gently, walking as close as he could get to her, placing his hand on her forearm.

"Yeah," Amelia responded tightly, "it's just- it's hard." It wasn't just in regards to talking with Tony, it was everything else, it was pretending to be normal, pretending like she wasn't a pile of fragmented pieces acting as a whole.

"I know," Steve began to rub his hand up and down her bicep, "he's just scared."

"He's also not wrong," Natasha responded, punching in that bit of realism that Amelia needed to hear. If all she got was comfort, then she wouldn't feel better. What she needed was to hear the truth.

Her only response was another heavy sigh, then she entered the car. Her friend's words did nothing, no matter how real they were.

Though, as soon as they were in the vehicle, Scott took his own opportunity to speak out his concerns. "So what now, are we going to give up?" He asked. "We kind of need him for this."

"No," Natasha responded for Amelia as she slipped into the back of the vehicle.

"You want to go ask him?" Steve interrogated, turning to face his friend with drawn eyebrows. "I suppose we could do, he's been doing really well lately, hasn't he?"

"He's doing great, actually," Natasha quipped, looking quite proud.

"Who are you guys talking about?" Scott continued to question, looking between the two speaking members of their group.

"I kind of don't want to tell him," Amelia finally spoke up, her voice mischievous and light-hearted.

"Me neither," Natasha responded, her toothy grin even more devious. It made Scott realise why they called her the Black Widow.

"I'm officially scared."

* * *

 **A/N: I feel so bad, I've literally written nothing today. I went outside to get a stamp and envelope and I got drenched wet through, then a lorry drove through this giant puddle and I entered a comedy movie for a hot minute as I drowned under this huge wave. Then I got home and just laid under the covers watching YouTube videos. Does anybody else get super anxious if they go a day without doing something productive? Or am I just weird?**

 **To LoveFiction2019, Steve wants a lot of things that he hasn't got, but he's been one hell of a good guy and he's sticking with his waifu.**

 **To Assbitch67, Scott is a precious little ball of light that the team sorely needs, I'm so glad he was introduced to the movie in time for Endgame, god knows the movie wouldn't be the same without him.**

 **To BuckyBarnes07, Amelia's interactions with Morgan are limited but always a gift.**

 **To Pitspee, I know right, I'm going to be honest with you, Part Six has been really frustrating to write just because Amelia has gotten further and further away from the person she needs to be - not just for the sake of the world and herself - but also for Steve and Tony.**

 **To Rory Kaye, thank you for the review!**

 **To kuppcake, you say that like its a bad thing, keep in mind once my two week holiday is over I'll have to go to updating weekly which will be frustrating as hell for all of us. I just want y'all to know what I know! Hope you enjoyed all the reactions and stuffs in this chapter.**

 **And a big ol' thank you to everyone that simply read the chap, you're wholesome little crumpets and I love each and every one of you. See you in the next one!**


	142. Chapter One-Hundred and Thirty-Four

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-FOUR**

* * *

"That is how I look at it; to continue. To continue, that is what is necessary."

― **Vincent Van Gogh**

* * *

The walls were grey. The floor was grey. The chairs in her hands were grey. The sky visible through the cold window that had been broken by burglars, was grey.

Amelia was living in a colourless world, like it had been sucked straight from existence. Or, turned to dust. There was the odd bit of brightness left and there in the world. She reminded herself of that in the hopes of lifting the heavyweight in her chest. In that room, there was Steve. Her beautiful, _bright_ , wholesome soldier, who was helping with setting out the seats in the room.

They were inside of a school that had been abandoned due to most of its students being taken away. Those that remained were moved to another school so that it would seem a little bit more normal. Because of that change, the school building became available to other things, like support group meetings.

There would be over a hundred people coming to the support group that night, but even then, it was the lowest amount of visitors they'd had. Every evening people would arrive to discuss how they were haunted and damaged by Thanos' depraved undoing of the universe.

It was a big responsibility, one that neither Steve nor Amelia would sometimes feel comfortable with carrying as they struggled with keeping themselves together.

It was a lot easier for them because they had each other, and that was exactly what had inspired them to take steps to create a group which helped those who'd lost their dearest. The sheer amount of people that had started attending the meetings made it clear how much of a necessity the group was.

But still, it didn't feel enough for Amelia. Especially in quiet mundane moments like the one she was in then. Usually, that unfulfilled feeling only occurred during the times when she was given the opportunity to fall down the rabbit hole in her mind.

In that moment, she had been falling for over five minutes and her thoughts had become rampant and uncontrollable. Despite what she was doing, clearly negating the points her mind made up, Amelia was starting to feel like she was frozen completely still watching the devastation pass around her, knowing she could do something if only she could will herself to move.

She separated the two chairs after placing the collection onto the floor, aligning them as perfectly as possible with the other seats arranged.

For a moment she stilled, becoming the statue her mind portrayed her as whilst she stared intensely into the distance. Steve didn't notice, too busy setting out the ten chairs he'd managed to carry with his back turned to her.

The thoughts were as loud as whispers and just as manipulative.

"Hey Steve," Amelia spoke up, her voice coming across much louder within the large, vacant, hall.

There were the final clanks and scrapes of metal against polished wood, and then the sound of Steve's footsteps as he wandered to go retrieve some more chairs. "Hey Freckles," he greeted back in response.

She began to rub her hands against the chair she stood behind, unable to look at her sort-of husband. She didn't even know if she should have been sharing the thoughts going on in her mind, she just knew that she could share any of her troubles with him if she wanted to and that he always wanted to hear her troubles so that he could help her. Most of the time, she'd try to keep quiet in order to help _him_ , but not then, not whilst she was thinking about all the others she could help.

"Do you ever feel… Do you ever feel like you're not doing enough?" Amelia hoped the question was vague enough to keep Steve's (sometimes slightly overbearing) caring and concerned side at bay.

He'd already collected a few more chairs, but he placed them back down onto the floor so he could engage himself properly in a conversation with the brunette. "What do you mean?"

"Like," she raised up a hand, beginning to twist it around as she paused, trying to think of the best word to us, "like we could be doing a lot more?"

The newspapers were full of stories of other people's struggles. Just that morning, she'd read the fiftieth article about a village being plundered and massacred in Africa as they'd lost all of the defences they'd had. She'd informed Nat of it, knowing her friend was working quite hard on fixing the chaos Earth had been stunned by, but it still didn't stop her from feeling as though she could be doing far more.

Amelia had been constantly training with either Danvers or Natasha so that she could remain powerful despite her powerless state, but that training was never actually put into use.

Steve tapped his hand against the metal chairs before him. "Right now, we're setting out seats to help those struggling with dealing with what that monster did," he said, "we're helping people in the best way we can."

The brunette bit down on her lip and looked down at her hands. Her plain, human, hands. They were scarred and scuffed from all of her previous battles, but they were still simple. Her nails had even been given the chance to grow beyond her calloused fingertips, and that angered her sometimes.

"Is it the best way?" She questioned, still staring down at her hands. Hands which should have been able to do far more than set out chairs.

Steve cocked his head to the side and drew his eyebrows together. He was surprised by her words, clearly unaware of the loathing she'd been experiencing towards herself. "What do you mean?" From his understanding, she was still the woman who had isolated herself away from everyone in order to fix the terrors riddling her mind.

The soldier couldn't/wouldn't see a person so plagued by fighting that wasn't able to see a way to help the human race in any other way.

There hadn't been any other way before.

For as long as she could remember, Amelia had been fighting. At first, she was fighting for her survival. Then, she was fighting to give people the freedom she hadn't initially had. After that, she just fighting.

Steve lifted his shoulders. "What other way do you see?"

It was then her stomach started to lurch. It wasn't guilt, it was shame. Her brother had been the one who made her realise that she was different from others, in a bad way. Sure, she wanted to help people, but she only wanted to help in a way that was damaging to both herself and those closest to herself. She was being selfless in the most self way possible.

Still, it was clear what she needed to do. Steve couldn't see her point of view, and she took that as a sign that she was delving too deep into the shadows of her mind. She was revealing too much. "Nevermind, I shouldn't have said anything."

"Freckles," Steve mumbled as she began to walk towards the remaining chairs, stepping past him and looking towards the other side of the room, making it very obvious that she was doing her best to avoid meeting his eyes. " _Never mind, I shouldn't have said anything,"_

" _Freckles," Steve mumbled as she began to walk towards the remaining chairs, stepping past him and looking towards the wall on the other side of the room, making it very clear that she was doing her best to avoid meeting his eyes._

 _He could read her far too easily. One glance would be all that it would take for him to notice her devastation._

" _I said nevermind."_

Five years down the line and Amelia find herself living another mundane moment. Sat still, she was squished between Natasha and Steve, watching as Bruce Banner stuffed food in his face. She didn't blame him for being hungry, it was exactly what she expected as he was in his newest form, one no one had seen coming.

He towered over the rest of them, his skin coloured green and his size large. He was the Hulk, but he was also Bruce Banner. "Come on, I feel like I'm the only one eating," he jested, managing to shove a quarter of one of his meals into his mouth. He began to push one of the bowls towards his friends. "Try some of that, have some of the eggs."

No one moved to touch his food.

"I'm so confused," Scott eventually said, unable to look away from the person before him. It was the Hulk, except he was dressed in actual clothes and glasses, talking sentiently, not acting like the giant rage monster he was used to seeing online. It made no sense.

"These are confusing times," Bruce countered, well adjusted to the surprise looks and bewilderment. He'd had to after showing his new self to all of his close friends. Everyone had been taken by surprise.

"Right, no, no that's not what I meant," Scott awkwardly tried to recover, realising that his unfiltered words might have had an unwelcome effect.

The rest of them watched quietly, deciding to just let Scott take in Bruce's form rather than telling him to quiet down so they could get down to business. It would only become an elephant in the room.

"No, I get it, I'm kidding!" Bruce jested further with surprising ease, "I know it's crazy, I'm wearing shirts now!"

The Bruce before them was nothing like the person they'd originally meant and that was down to the fact that he wasn't holding himself back anymore. He was completely free to be himself, to be the monster and the man, to be _human_. Human, with a touch of individuality that differed from everyone else on the planet.

Relieved to hear his own thoughts out of the Hulk's/Bruce's mouth, Scott relaxed a little. "Yeah!" Then he allowed his curiosity to show, squinting his eyes and examining the man before him. "Wh.. How? Why?"

"Five years ago, we got our asses beaten," Bruce explained, "except it was worse for me because I lost twice. First, Hulk lost, then Banner lost, then we all lost."

"No one blamed you, Bruce," Natasha interjected, saying the exact same thing she would say every time they had a conversation on what happened five years ago. Everyone blamed themselves in the Avengers, even Nat, and whilst she couldn't stop her own feelings of guilt, she hoped to at least ease them for the man who had stolen her heart all those years ago.

"I did," he responded simply because the matter at hand was very simple. "For years."

"We all blamed ourselves," Amelia supplied as well, feeling like she was repeating herself as she said the same thing she once said constantly during support group meetings, "some more than others." It wasn't meant as a statement, she wasn't pointing fingers at anyone. If anything, she was pointing fingers at the idea which festered inside of peoples heads that they were the ones to blame more than anyone else.

There was a surprising number of people outside of the Avengers who had started to feel personally responsible for the calamity that had happened. Those were the times when Amelia would feel a little bit worse than usual as she'd resent the guilt people felt because, in her eyes, it was all on her.

"Exactly," Bruce related, "then at some point I realised it." He quickly pushed another spoonful of food in his mouth, chewing and swallowing before speaking again. "For years, I'd been treating the hulk-like he was some kind of disease, something to get rid of," his tone was melancholy as he remembered all the times he'd physically cried because of the self-hatred that had wound around him like a hungry snake ready to feast. Then, he held out his hands, gesturing to himself with a large smile, "but then I started looking at him as the cure."

"Eighteen months in a gamma lab, I put the brains and the brauns together, and look at me now, the best of both worlds." It had been some of the toughest times of his life, but it had all been worth something at least. He'd lost a lot but gained something he'd never had, even before the accident in the laboratory which had birthed the Hulk. He had an identity. There was no questioning, no shying away, there was only himself. It was truly amazing, living a life without any fear getting in the way.

Scott needed a moment to take it all in and no one blamed him. For Amelia, it had taken her an entire week after seeing what Bruce had become. She'd doubted it at first, too busy seeing the black and white of every situation to realise that Bruce hadn't become the thing he'd feared, he'd actually taken control of it. Steve helped her come to a solid conclusion by explaining how she'd embraced the powers which had once been feared by everyone, including both her creator and her friends.

Whilst they sat in silence, some unexpected children wandered over towards the group, a phone carried in the girl's hand. "Excuse me, Mr Hulk?" Said girl shyly greeted.

"Yes?" Bruce responded, in a tone that once again through Scott for a loop. He sounded so gentle. So, un-Hulk.

She looked towards her brothers with excitement, as though hearing the green man speak proved to them that he was real. "Can we get a photo?"

Bruce reached out and grabbed the phone, which looked far too tiny in his gigantic hands. "100% little person, come on, step up," he gestured with his hands, pulling them towards him and preparing for the photo. He offered the device over to Scott, knowing that his thumb would most likely break the screen if he attempted to take the picture, "you mind?"

"Oh, yeah," Scott easily agreed.

"Thanks," Bruce took off his glasses, posing with the children with his hands in the shape of a fist because using his fists was all the Hulk was known for, "say 'green'!"

They all said the words, big grins filling their faces as they looked at the camera.

"Did you get that?" Bruce asked as Scott sat back down in his seat.

"Yep," he answered, beginning to hand the phone back over. "Don't you wanna grab one with me? I'm Ant-Man."

"Uh…" The children began to look to each other, then at the rest of the people at the table.

The youngest boy out of the three slapped his hands against his siblings, his eyes fixed on the brunette. "Hey, I think that's Artemis," he said, eyes suddenly widening with a glint Amelia couldn't recognise.

They couldn't be talking about her. Sure, she'd been in the news a lot lately as one of the remaining Avengers still going on missions to try and help people, but she could never see herself as being someone that people wanted pictures with. Especially children. If only they knew about her past, then they'd be running away from her.

Despite the way both Steve and Nat were looking at her with excitement, believing that moment to be a huge milestone in the way she saw herself, Amelia was quick to dismiss the children by waving her hands. "Nope, I'm no one, but this guy-"

"They're Hulk fans, they don't know Ant-Man, nobody does," Scott interrupted, trying to excuse the children to try and move away from the awkward moment of rejection.

"Wait, no, no, he feels bad, no he wants you to… he wants to…" "you want to take a picture with him, right?"

"He's even saying no he doesn't," Scott continued to blabber as the children awkwardly looked over to the stranger that had simply become the man that had taken their picture with the amazing Hulk, "I get it, I don't want it either."

It wasn't anything to do with Scott. He'd been away five years and the kids wouldn't know about anything he'd done previously as they would have been children during those times.

"But come on, the kid! But he, but you.."

"I don't want a picture with them."

"He's gonna feel bad," Scott tried again, "Sorry, they said they'd do it."

"I don't want it anymore."

"No, no, you feel bad."

"Just take the goddamn phone," Scott finally pushed, giving the kids no other choice but to accept the phone back despite agreeing to take the photo.

"Thank you, Mr Hulk," the child said, the group of siblings beginning to wander away, unwilling to turn away from the superhero they'd idolised.

"No, it's great kids," Bruce replied, "thank you very much, Hulk out!"

"Bruce," Amelia called, wanting to get back onto the topic which would hopefully help halt the dangerous thoughts flitting through her mind, threatening to cause another breakdown.

Meanwhile, the scientist was posing and grinning for the children, trying to relate to them. "Dab!"

"Bruce," Steve tried for Amelia. He knew she was getting impatient as she'd begun to tap her fingers against the seat they were on.

Tapping had become one of Amelia's latest habits. She did it every time she needed to be still, her bodies own way of doing _something_ whilst she was unable to do anything. It wasn't as bad as her clenching her fists which was a habit that constantly threatened to resurface. Even then, he feared it, so the soldier reached out and grabbed her tapping hand, wrapping his and hers and beginning to draw patterns against the back of her hand with his thumb. It was movement that she could feel and it was under his control, that meant it was less threatening.

"Listen to your mom, she knows better," the green man continued on. He couldn't help it. For years, he'd been unable to even get close to fans that appreciated what he did, let alone take pictures and converse with them.

"About what we were saying," Steve persisted, drawing out an exasperated emoticon expression on the back of Amelia's hand which she'd somehow managed to understand and even smiled at.

"Right," Bruce returned back to the group, finished with his fanfare. He looked much less pleased with the conversation. "The Hulk Time-Travel do-over?" The fun-side of Bruce/Hulk had been lost as he returned to a topic he'd managed to escape from, Thanos' snap and how to fix it. Some people managed to move on, Bruce was one of them. "Guys, it's outside my area of expertise,"

Amelia could see his reluctance to involve himself in the matter, and she understood it. She knew how painful it was, carrying the weight of feeling like they were responsible to fix it. She knew how much of a burden it was, but she also knew how much of a necessity it was.

The brunette leant forward, pushing aside a plate of food because it didn't matter. Nothing mattered. None of them mattered. All that mattered was fixing what they- _she_ , had allowed Thanos to do. "It's out of mine too," She related, her words coming across as honest because that was exactly what they were. She had no idea about time travel. Hell, Amelia didn't know much about anything anymore. Whilst once upon a time she may have had a wealth of knowledge on technologies and how to perfectly execute missions, she'd let those sides of herself slip away. "But maybe if we put our heads together…"

"Then we still wouldn't even come close," Bruce replied honestly, unknowingly giving the same answer that Tony did. Strangely, it still didn't deter any of them. Not because they had hope or belief, but because they were willing to try just about anything.

"How are you doing anyway, we haven't talked for a while?" Bruce asked Amelia. They hadn't talked in a while and all he'd heard about her were the things Natasha or Tony told him, none of them seemed good.

The brunette's eyebrows rose at the unexpected question. "I'm fine," was the automatic response.

He smiled at her, but she wasn't happy. "You always are, aren't you?"

"As are you," Amelia countered easily, able to clearly see what he was attempting to get at and refusing to acknowledge it. Really, it would have been unfair for her to respond to Bruce's attempt at helping her when she'd ignored everything both her husband and best friend had tried to do. She put on her best smile, which was mediocre at best. "Better than fine actually, look what you've somehow managed to pull off."

He looked to Natasha for a second, and during that fleeting moment, an entire conversation occurred. Nat told him with a single look that he shouldn't pursue Amelia any further and he knew why. From the conversations he'd had, he was well aware of how Amelia was a ticking time bomb. So, instead of pushing her any further, he just leaned back in his seat with a proud smirk adorned on his face. "I know, right?"

"Bruce," Nat spoke up, "I remember a time when this seemed pretty impossible too." She'd been there for him more than other people might have known. Amelia was the only person there who had some kind of clue on how much help Nat had provided Bruce when he was at his lowest, even then, she wasn't provided with all the knowledge. "Think about what you can do now, especially with all our brains put together."

He stayed quiet for a moment, reluctant to argue against her as he knew first hand how much she could accomplish just off her own back. If it hadn't been for her, then he probably wouldn't have been there in that moment. His fingers twitched, aching to touch her, but reluctant to.

That was one of the things they were working through though. Nat had told him countless times that she didn't need to feel him physically, that most of the time she didn't want it, that she was fine with just being able to emotionally connect to him. For Bruce, it was new, and the social standards set out regarding such things always made him feel like he needed to provide some sort of contact even when he couldn't.

So, he didn't touch her, and he mentally yelled at the feelings which tried to tell him that Nat would feel upset by the lack of contact. He concentrated on what they were asking, on what she was asking. "Even then…"

"Even then, it's worth just trying it out," Amelia said clearly, her eyes looking downward. It didn't seem like she was concentrating on anything, but only Steve could see the way she was intensely staring at their intertwined hands.

What she'd said was true, and that truth was heard by everyone at the table.

Whatever it takes. That was the line set for them. That was what they needed to do. It didn't matter if it meant using brute force, shooting lasers, throwing giant metal frisbees or casting out the powers of stars. By that point, they needed to do anything and everything because they were the people that saved other people, they were the ones who were relied on to bring back everyone that was brought back.

Bruce realised that pretty quickly, and pretty easily. "Well you're not wrong there," he reluctantly sighed, still doubting the plan but unable to refuse it.

"So you'll do it?" Scott asked, rising up in his seat a little bit as the excitement got a little too much.

Bruce shrugged one of his rather large shoulders, meeting Amelia's eyes. "Well, you're not really giving me much choice."

The brunette squeezed her husband's hand as some form of joy began to fill her. They had a plan. It wasn't solid, it didn't equal a victory. But it was a plan and it was one which had the potential of bringing back all those people they'd lost.

Finally, she might be able to shut all those eyes which glared at her within every shadow.

"That's because there are no other choices."

* * *

 **A/N: Not going to lie, kind of hate this chapter. In other news, I just finished chapter 141 which is super long and contains a moment I don't think anyone but myself and Amelia Stark care about.**

 **To Guest, death is a fickle thing, isn't it? It comes to those who don't deserve it and averts those that do. But then, who _does_ deserve death? Who are we to decide who gets to live or die? Why should being a writer make me a God? It is the characters that sign their own fate. P.S. I'm so sorry for this answer I just wanted to sound poetic and cool and also I can't actually say who lives and who dies because then you won't carry on reading**

 **To Katie, they definitely deserve a happy ending, but so did Tony**

 **To BuckyBarnes07, agreed!**

 **To LoveFiction2019, I love that you PM'd me about this, no, actually, I just love that you care so much about these characters. Both myself and Amelia appreciate it! Unfortunately, I can not give away the ending of this story, nor can I confirm Amelia will survive this story.**

 **To Pitspee, glad you've noticed the role reversal, I hope it's not dull and annoying, it felt like a natural progression to me for how their characters came out of Infinity War and how they'd progress in Endgame, I hope that makes sense.**

 **To ArtemisLuna85, do you have any idea how your review has affected the comments on my story? All I can say is that your suggestion hasn't changed anything on how I plan to end this story, I've had it planned since before Endgame came out. Six parts is a long time, there will be over 150 chapters, all of which are filled with the progression of Stevia. There is only one way this story can end.**

 **Thanks to all the readers, you're all gorgeous potatoes that I bet would mould into the most perfect of french fries (I hope that comes across as a compliment, now that I read it back I realise it's not that great, my point was is that your personalities are golden french fries... shit I'm not calling you ugly though, fuck, I give up on this but I'm keeping it in cause I'm dumb bye now)**


	143. Chapter One-Hundred and Thirty-Five

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-FIVE**

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"Are you brave? The devil asked. No, she answered, but I am alive - and sometimes those two things are the same"

― **J.A.S**

* * *

"I'm thinking Steak for tea tonight, Amelia mumbled as she entered the apartment that she shared with Steve, removing a coat which her husband took from her hands and hung up onto the hooks beside their front door.

The apartment they lived in wasn't much, but it was home. It also wasn't a farmhouse atop a hill in Wakanda, but it had a decent-sized kitchen, a bedroom big enough to fit a king-sized bed and a crowded wardrobe. It was also close enough to both the Avengers base (which had become more so Nat's home) and where Steve held the support groups.

Once he was done putting their outerwear aside, he suddenly wandered up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist so that he could alter the direction her body was going. She laughed at him, giggling childishly as she was pulled away from her path towards the kitchen. She slapped at his hands and he finally relented once she was facing the bedroom.

"No, you are banned from cooking tonight," Steve said softly. His worn-out spirit became even clearer as he ended up resting his head on her shoulder. "We've got so many leftovers clogging the refrigerator that we really need to eat."

Amelia visibly pouted, swaying her body from side to side within her husband's arms, lazily trying to deny his plans for their evening. "I know," she whined petulantly, "but quiche doesn't scream success the same way steak does."

"I think we'll survive tonight." He released his arms around her body and gave her a wave towards their bedroom. "You go get changed, and I'll microwave up our leftovers, deal?"

"Fine," she huffed, beginning to stomp towards the room like a moody teenager, "just make sure you don't overdo the microwaving."

"I'd like to take a moment to remind you that before you learnt how to cook, I was the one who made our meals," he called out to her as she disappeared into the bedroom.

"Love you!" She yelled back out to him, deciding that that was the least offensive thing that she could retort with. Amelia heard him give a short chuckle at her retort and she couldn't help but smile a little herself.

That smile, as peaceful and as quaint as it looked on her lips, was unable to survive the moment the brunette was left alone with her thoughts.

Mindlessly she began to strip and abandon her clothes carelessly on the ground, despite there being a laundry basket right beside the doorway. Her attention was too focused on all the things that had occurred that day. It might have actually been a day and more, but as she'd passed on going to sleep, all the events had accumulated and it all seemed a little too much. Finding Scott alive, hearing his idea on how they could bring everyone back, seeing Tony and then seeing Bruce. Hope was rising slowly but surely as a new dawn greeting what had seemed eternal night, but it wasn't like how Amelia had pictured herself being after seeing those first few rays of light. There was no elation. No heart-pounding excitement.

No throws of determination energising every movement, every step and every word.

Amelia was still just so… _tired_.

The reason for why revealed itself when she turned around and spotted herself. Sometimes she would find her reflection unrecognizable.

It was all the scars. There were just so many that had appeared over the past five years, coming from cooking mishaps, the odd little accidents (like the one time she walked into the edge of an open door). The other, larger, scars clearly came from something else though.

Amelia couldn't discern where or when they were obtained, she just knew that they were the product of either a mission that had gone the wrong way, or from one of her many training sessions with Carol.

They always refused to hold back with training. Carol might have done so during the first few training sessions but she'd soon stopped after seeing the way Amelia was treating their training sessions. Carol was nothing if not respectable in that regards.

" _Come on Amelia!" Carol Danvers hissed at her comrade whilst flipping over the brunette's body until she landed harshly onto the floor, the sound emitted was so forceful that if anyone else were to hear it, their bodies would have curled inward from the cringe._

" _Shut up." The words Amelia had hoped would strike a little regretful fear in her opponent's heart came out so rough and feeble that she only really came across as weaker. Still, Amelia moved her arms so her upper body was positioned upward slightly and she could make an attempt to get up. She really did try. But she just couldn't do the same with her legs as they ached from all the pre-fight cardio she'd done, only getting worse whilst training up her combat skills with Carol. It wasn't just her legs either, despite how she tried to act. Her entire body felt like the bones beneath her skin had turned to lava, inferno jelly. But it did nothing to deter her. She was doing her best to turn all of those doubts into motivation. The pain was just another sign of the weakness she needed to rid herself of, nothing more, nothing less._

 _Carol pushed some hair out of her face, releasing a hefty sigh as she was faced with the hefty emotions shown by her comrade. It had become obvious quite early on that emotions were what drove Amelia. Such a skill was actually something that Danvers would sometimes find herself jealous of, but then other times, Amelia would let it overtake her so completely that Carol would be content. Sometimes, emotions such as hopelessness and guilt would blind the brunette._

" _You're angry today," Carol noted. It might have seemed like a simple observation, but Amelia was strongly opposing the depressive state she'd been stuck in the day before. That was clear enough with the fact that their combat training had lasted an entire three hours longer than the day before._

" _Yes, I am," Amelia responded through gritted teeth. "Be scared." As she spoke, the brunette attempted to lift her body onto its feet one more time. Her body faltered as it could not handle the weight. The weight of her body, and the weight of all the burdens she'd chosen to place on her own shoulders._

 _She released a torrent of noises. Frustrated growls that were supposed to capture all of the hatred she felt towards both herself and the condition of the world she was living in._

 _There was so much furiosity exalted from her surface, hiding on the inside a bountiful amount of anxiety and stress._

 _She'd put all she could into her last exchange with Carol, all of her strength and all of her rage, yet there she remained, on the dirty floor covered in bruises that Steve would surely disapprove of._

 _It brought about the same question that had plagued her mind the second she'd woken up after the first initial fight with Thanos. Was that all she counted for?_

 _All that pain and misery she'd gone through, had she really only endured it for that failure?_

 _She hated the idea of it all, yet it was still what plagued her mind. That she was a failure of extreme proportions. Not only had she let herself down, but also Steve, along with the entire universe._

 _Her whole life she'd been training for a war, but when it really counted, her attempts had failed, despite her future self travelling back in time to try and remedy all the mistakes made. That was another matter that truly brought home her failure. The fact that her future self had abandoned her since the failure._

" _Is this what I'm supposed to fear?" Carol scoffed, gesturing mockingly towards Amelia's limp body. "Look at you." Carol knew exactly what she was doing._

" _Shut up!" Amelia roared, slamming her fist down onto the ground, showing more power than she believed she possessed, and that was exactly Carol's point._

 _The blonde got down onto her knees, lowering herself down to the brunette's level and pressing a comforting hand to her friend's shoulder._

 _Carol understood Amelia's point of view completely. How could not after seeing all of the fight Amelia put into every exchange? The brunette felt lost and was desperate for some sort of identity which would mean more than just being a weapon for others to use. More than a weapon for herself to make use of. Names were meaningless when the person using them felt more like an item than a human._

" _The most important thing you can learn to do is stand back up despite being defeated, you are more than your part and you are more than what others have labelled you as," Carol advised with more passion than Amelia had seen before, "you could be a hero if you wanted to."_

 _Of course, the brunette took it differently. In her mind, she made Carol's point into something else entirely in the hopes that it would fuel her passion to fight._

" _If you think I'm defeated right now, then you're stupider than I thought," she huffed, once again planting her hands in a position so that if she had enough strength than she'd be able to rise up. "You know what really makes you an idiot though, is the fact that you think I could ever be a hero."_

 _Steve and Tony and Nat, they were heroes._

 _She made one last attempt to get back on her feet despite what she said. In truth, she wanted more than anything to be a hero. She wanted to save people. She didn't want to damage the innocent anymore. She really didn't, but still, she would take her body to the brink of collapsing because solely in her eyes, she was the catalyst for destruction._

 _One last attempt, one last push of overwhelming emotions, and then her aching body collapsed down._

" _I'm not a hero."_

 _Carol stood back up, no longer meeting her comrades level as she didn't believe that was where either of them belonged. As she stood, she clenched her fists and light blossomed from her fists, like the dawn. "Do you want to save people? Not just Tony, not just Steve, not just your friends, but the people you've never met before, the people that need your help? Do you want to make a difference?"_

" _Of course I do," Amelia quickly responded, unable to doubt that at least._

" _Then stand back up."_

"Maybe you're training too hard with Carol," Steve mumbled from the doorway, surprising Amelia as she hadn't even noticed Steve approach the bedroom, far too busy trying to find the old scars among the new.

"The harder I train, the better I get, I'm no longer reliant on my powers," Amelia responded, almost automatic, the answer to Steve's own question one she had rehearsed in her mind, as though she'd had to use it against herself way too many times.

Steve wandered over slowly, carefully. When he reached her, he tentatively pushed out his hands and slipped them across her figure, his fingers dressing his scars, the old and the new, showing no fear and no disgust which had chills passing down Amelia's spine. No matter how wary she became over her battered body, he would always hold her as though she was something whole.

He pressed his lips against the base of her neck, right where an old scar stretched from her collarbone. It was a sickening reminder of one Hydra agent that had gotten too intimate whilst trying to break her raging spirit. "You still need to take a break every now and again," Steve reminded her, as he had many times.

Their eyes met in the mirror for one silent moment, a moment filled with tension. Then, his eyes dropped down to her ribs which were outlined by shaded purple and yellow-green. The shade of his eyes was what gave his emotions away. They'd turned a darker blue, paling to an almost grey.

"My scars don't horrify you, I didn't think a bruise would either," she pointed out argumentative, her reasoning hollow as that wasn't the true problem.

"They don't horrify me," he replied immediately, lowering his hands far enough away from her bruise so when he forced her body to spin and press against his, he didn't cause her any harm. She couldn't see her reflection anymore, and that was part of the problem is gone. "Call me crazy, but I just don't like seeing the person I love hurt."

"My god, you're an absolute lunatic," she joked, wrapping her arms around his neck and declaring a smile she always saved for him. It was full of mischief and love, so much love that it really did come close to the adoration he felt towards her when he saw such happiness.

He couldn't resist the temptation then, he simply had to kiss her again. His lips fell against hers, stumbling like a drunkard which in some ways he was. There was something about her which made him a walking cliche. There was something about the way she'd look at him, or touch him, that would make him love drunk.

As he pulled away, there wistfully closed eyes opened and connected, staring further than just the surface. It was a beautiful moment. It would have been, had not Amelia's insecurities called up from her heart, as though they were demons waiting until she opened up her emotions for them to easily attack it.

Her eyes fell, and he immediately knew something was wrong as there was a slight twitch of her lip which tempted to crumble the smile and make it into a frown.

"What about my eyes?" She asked, revealing one of her biggest insecurities which Steve was already aware of her despite her never mentioning it until that moment. Ever since losing her powers and first losing her powers, she always seemed to be looking down.

"What about them?" Steve replied, hoping they would be answer enough. He didn't care. He didn't care when she had eyes which differed from the usual humans, and he didn't care when her eyes looked normal. He cared about her personality, which was always unique.

Amelia shrugged. "I don't know, they're just dull now, I would have thought that might have put you off," her words were mumbled, portraying themselves an afterthought. "They're the most obvious sign that I'm no longer myself."

"Your eyes aren't dull," he stated, making a point by pushing aside her hair, cupping her cheek and forced her eyes to meet his once more so he could stare deeply into them and appreciate every bit of dark brown. "They're beautiful. _You_ are beautiful."

"They used to be better," she admonished, looking away once more and pressing her head against his chest so she could hide them fully from his view, "but that's okay, soon, we'll have the space stone again and I can finally get my powers back." It was only momentary. This shame she held over no longer being the all-powerful being that had once held the possibility of saving the world, it was just _momentary_.

Steve tried to bite his tongue. He really did. But what was momentary for her, had been five long years for him.

"Why?"

He felt her eyes scrunch together on his chest. "Why what?" The tone he'd been worried about had appeared in her words. She was offended by his lack of understanding, maybe not in the stereotypical understanding, but it was feeling to her like he was pulling back his faith. He'd experienced many moments before, moments where she would doubt her view on him.

It was the first time she came back from a mission. After a month of not seeing her, despite all the love he'd showed, his concern had come across as misunderstanding and it had made her pull away slightly. Steve knew better than anyone the need to save the world, he'd taken that weight on his shoulders so many times that he'd almost lost his real world, the very brunette that stood before him. He'd just never expected her to turn that way, than again, he'd never expected her to have to hold the weight of the world in her hands and fail.

Tony's words crawled around his mind once more, unwanted centipedes which shattered and scattered. He was the reason she'd become that way. When he finally freed her from Hydra, he'd had the opportunity to introduce her to a world of peace, of love and family.

Instead, he'd dragged her into his life of unnecessary, continuous, war. He'd made her into a copy of his old self which felt like everyone's lives was held on the edge of their fingertips. He had pushed that anxiety and that way of living onto her, and after finally stepping into the light and realising there were more important things in his life, he was now seeing the balancing game first hand. It was difficult, difficult enough for him to understand why Tony could no longer stand the sight of his sister.

She was being left behind by everyone, and the cruellest part was that everyone realised it.

He didn't want this for her. He couldn't forget everything he'd seen from her previous life with Hydra, especially after wandering the empty confines of her first home, seeing all the ghosts that haunted it, all the blood that was probably hers, all the markings on the walls most likely dealt by her or by the people harming her. He couldn't forget the pit, the stench of it was fixed in his mind.

She deserved better. Steve needed Amelia to have better.

"I mean, after it's all over, you won't need your powers anymore, so why bother getting them back in the first place?" That was what he was hoping for. For a future between the two of them that was exclusively theirs. Not the worlds, not the Avengers, just there's. He wanted them to become mundane and live a life which wasn't affected by war and politics. Sure, they would be able to still be angry about it, but all that truly mattered was the pile of dirty dishes growing in the kitchen and the dust which neither of them wanted to clean cause dusting was the most excruciating of chores.

"Because I'll need them for the fight," Amelia said back as though the answer was the most obvious thing, as obvious as two being the product of one plus one. There was going to be a fight, there was always going to be a fight.

He wondered if she could feel the ache that pulsed in his chest despite her lack of powers. It felt so powerful that he wouldn't have been surprised if she could. "There might not even be a fight."

"There's always a fight."

The soldier looked at her with pity, so it was probably a good thing that she wasn't meeting his eyes anymore, it would have only insulted her further. "You know, I've been thinking, if we do successfully travel back in time, we could stop Hydra from getting you."

It was a possibility. If time travel was truly available to them, then they could change many things, the first biggest issue being that Amelia wasn't able to have a normal life. She was burdened by powers, and then by a cruel upbringing, and then by him. Perhaps if he changed things, then she'd have the life both himself and Tony wished for her.

They wanted her to experience the mundane. To grow up and experience silly arguments with her sibling, only to adore them the next moment. To have her first kiss at an age too young to realise kisses weren't meant to feel so awkward and stunted. To have a job and hate her co-workers with a burning passion, not realising how much more she would hate war criminals and walking talking robots or aliens or giant purple grapes. To have her first love, and be destroyed by it, only to meet someone at an older age and learn that first love is never actually love, it is always the second.

And of course, he wanted to be the second.

"Steve," she laughed cruelly, "we're not even going to have this conversation." Amelia shook her head from side to side for longer than was reasonable as she made a point to pull herself forcefully from his arms, moving over to her wardrobe which didn't have any actual clothes hung up. She went to one side of the jumbled pile of clothes, showing that there was some method to her madness. From the pile, she pulled pyjamas and began dressing herself in them. "We're not messing with anything, just getting the stones, and that's that, okay?"

"But-"

"Wedding ring." She misused their promise but in her mind, she'd had no other choice. Amelia couldn't even bear the thought of changing the way things have gone, the month she'd spent with Bucky teaching her that the darkness was necessary had fixated the thoughts that all she could do was work hard on improving the future rather than her past. "You vowed that I'd wake up and fall asleep with you every day, but if you stop Hydra from taking me, there's a chance we would never have happened, and I'm not willing to risk that, end of conversation."

"That's not true though, I'd still be in the ice by that point and I'd still be found, I think we'd still meet and-" He took another step closer to her, but he was stopped as she raised a hand and blocked him from getting any closer to her.

"I said end of conversation, Steven," she repeated once more, far more dominating.

He closed his lips tightly, having no other choice but to accept that she didn't want to continue the subject. It was what Steve had been expecting anyway. "Yes, ma'am."

She rolled down the long-sleeved t-shirt down her body, covering most of the scars except for the ones which hide on her face. There was one by her eyebrow, that was one of the easier ones to explain as it was only the product of her walking into the door. The one by her lip was due to a punch which had caused quite a bit of damage, messing with the shape of her teeth when she was younger so that they'd grown at an odd angle. There was the one which was mostly hidden in the dimple formed when she forced a smile. The part of her ear lobe which dipped inward was easily covered by her long hair, a result of the continuous hours of training with knives. Each one held a story, some harder for Amelia to explain than the others. The worst were the scars on her wrists, so pale that they were barely there, but they still reminded her every time of the hours that were spent in the naughty pit.

The hardest scars were the ones hidden though. They were the invisible ones, lying under her skin, across her heart. They were harder to explain and harder to understand as they were hidden from the naked eye. And they burned during the minute of silence she found herself in with Steve. They always did. Whenever she found herself in silent moments with her husband, she'd wonder if he still loved her.

"Are you angry with me?" Anger doesn't equal less love, but Amelia didn't know that. Even after all the years she'd lived, there were still moments when she'd doubt how much people cared for her. She'd seen all the types of anger, and she'd seen different types of love, but as they touched her so separately, she'd always struggled to place them together.

"No," Steve answered, his words taught, like a knot so tight calloused fingers like Amelia's couldn't undo.

"That was a rather moody no," she responded, her words light but they fell darker due to the sadness spilling from her.

Steve hadn't meant to make her sad. He hadn't intended for them to end up living such a life. "I just… I want the life we promised ourselves we'd have one day."

"We will," she attempted to soothe, but there was a distinct lack of confidence in her words.

Steve raised the eyes he'd kept from meeting hers out of fear that she'd see that - despite her making his Mondays feel like Fridays and despite her making him feel like life was something purposeful and despite her heart being a hug he could always rest in and despite her being the heaven he could hold in hold his palms - he was discontent with the state of their relationship. "Are you sure about that?"

Amelia cocked her head, able to only see what he hoped she wouldn't. "Are you having doubts?"

Yes, he was having so many doubts that took the form of a million daggers which pierced every inch of skin he had. He doubted that they'd ever move into the house he'd built. He doubted they'd ever have a dog. He doubted they'd ever have children. He even doubted that in ten years he'd have her as he feared the overwhelming push of carrying the world would drive her to do some stupid.

But no, he would not tell her that.

Instead, he cocked his head to the doorway of their bedroom and forced a smile, one that wasn't as practised as hers so no dimples formed and no conviction was performed by either of the pair. "Come on, let's go eat our leftovers, we've got a big day tomorrow."

* * *

 **A/N: I figured we could all do with a look into Amelia and Steve's normal life, looks like problems are arising and, as I'm sure you can all tell, their situations have reversed. Amelia became the soldier and Steve became the... carer, I guess you could call him that. Anyway, before I give my opinion on it, I'm interested to know what y'all think about it, so lemme know :)**

 **To BuckyBarnes07, hope it was worth all the excitement**

 **To SnowPaws101Reverie, you don't have to go into detail or ought, don't worry about it, I have faith that you are reading and whatnot. I hope you're doing okay though, and that whatever's gone on hasn't been troubling stuff. I look forward to hearing from you again!**

 **To FernieRee, I mean it makes sense, Peggy wouldn't make the same mistakes Amelia has, but Amelia's still learning how to human (aren't we all?).**

 **To Scared Guest, ahaha, I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself!**

 **To all the readers that read, keep on reading you beautiful reading bastards.**


	144. Chapter One-Hundred and Thirty-Six

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-SIX**

* * *

"We'll survive it, you and I."

― **F Scott Fitzgerald**

* * *

Breeze slipped through the window aggressively, howling into the ears of Amelia and Steve as the brunette charged their vehicle towards the Avengers base.

At her side, Steve had gritted teeth and was holding onto the grip beside the window with one hand, the other reaching out and holding onto the dashboard, spouting demands for her to 'slow down' and 'watch out' every few minutes. It was safe to say that he didn't enjoy having Amelia drive.

Words couldn't describe the relief that flooded his system like true euphoria when Amelia parked the car outside of the building Steve was finally able to relax his hands, though his bones did feel locked in to place after remaining in the same position for so long.

The soldier exhaled, undoing his seatbelt with shaking fingertips. "I'd forgotten how bad of a driver you were," he said sarcastically.

Amelia glared over at him whilst undoing her own seatbelt, clearly unshaken by the erratic and swift driving. "I got us here on time, didn't I?"

He rolled his eyes at her expected response, simple exiting the vehicle and she stepped out as well.

Once outside of the vehicle, Amelia began to clench and loosen her fists, feeling a sudden and familiar urge to get back in the car and drive as fast as she could, faster than she had before.

It was a desire to be more than normal, to have some sort of effect.

It was that feeling which affected her the most over the past five years, at first it had come in drips, but she could easily remember the first time the pipes had burst and she'd struggled to keep the flood localised to just herself.

 _Carol had explained the last time she had trained Amelia that unfortunately she was leaving for space and wouldn't be around for their next session. It was something to do with the last tribe of an extinct alien race doing naughty things out in space._

 _It soured her mood a bit, but it didn't mean that she wasn't going to get any training in, the brunette had a back-up plan. That back up plan, of course, being Natasha Romanoff._

 _A year had passed since the snap and Amelia was living in the Avengers base along with Steve and Natasha, so it was easy enough to simply request Nats help with 'working out'. That's what she painted her training as to Steve, he presumed she was just getting her strength back and she didn't have the heart to tell him that she was doing much more than that. The shame came from the fact that she was relearning tactics she hadn't needed to use since being AS09._

 _Seen as that day she had Nat by her side, she decided she wanted to learn Nat's special move again, the one where she would wrap her body around a man and choke them with her thighs. It had become a personal favourite of Amelia's, both to watch and enact, though it had been quite a long time since she did it herself. She hadn't needed to fight. Steve would probably argue that she still didn't need to._

 _Revisiting the move she remembered idolising had seemed like a good idea at first, but after being easily countered and thrown to the floor for the fiftieth time by Nat, Amelia was starting to have some doubts._

" _You're doing it wrong," Natasha said calmly, standing over her friend who released a frustrated growl._

 _Amelia was getting sick and tired of being the one defeated on the floor._

 _She stood back up, Carol's wise words echoing in the back of her head. "I'm not doing anything wrong," she replied, sounding snarky and extremely petty which was exactly what she was going for, "if anything, you're teaching me the move wrong."_

 _Natasha quirked an eyebrow, her lips falling into a flat line as she calmly crossed her arms. Such simple, meaningless actions, yet they immediately made Amelia wince. "Do you really want to go there?"_

" _No," she sighed, her shoulders deflating, "no, of course, I don't."_

 _Nat chose to remain quiet, observing her friend instead. It felt like she was finally seeing just how tired her friend truly was. Of course she'd known about her friend's state, but she had been doing a really good job at disguising just how bad things had gotten for her. It was glaringly evident then as she stood hunched, bloodshot eyes staring emptily at the floor, her body pale but marred in dark scars and bruises. "I just want to be able to actually do something."_

 _Well, she definitely was doing_ something _, Natasha couldn't argue against that. Her friend was destroying herself. Of course, if she said that to Amelia than it would only force the brunette to pull her truth even further away from prying eyes and Nat couldn't let that happen so she kept her mouth shut, hoping to discuss it with Steve later on._

 _What Nat was able to do then, was give her friend some time to stop and rest. "I propose we take a break," Nat explained, walking over to the two water bottles they'd brought along._

 _Amelia's body stiffened, that was the very last thing she wanted to do, "I don't want to."_

 _Nat knew that. She knew that her friend resented breaks and she also knew that her friend had probably not slept the night before (Amelia used to go for runs every night after Steve fell asleep, but after Nat mentioned it a few weeks ago, she'd stopped, Nat still had a sneaking suspicion that that didn't mean Amelia had started sleeping properly though). She continued on despite Amelia's quarrels, swallowing down a hefty amount of water before sitting down on the floor, offering Amelia her own water bottle. "Well, I do."_

 _Amelia stared hardy at her friend, unsure at first on how to proceed. She didn't want to look weak, like she couldn't handle all that was going on. But, she really could have done with a minute breather._

 _Amelia let out a long sigh, making it clear to Natasha that she was being burdened by having to take a break. She accepted the water bottle, beginning to take her own sips of it._

" _Damn, what the hell have you and Steve been up to?" Natasha burst out suddenly, her question only producing a thousand in Amelia's mind._

" _What?" Nat nodded in her general direction before raising her hand and gesturing towards her own neck, "your throat."_

 _Amelia still looked confused for another minute but it started to fade as realisation dawned. Her last training session with Carol she'd ended up pinned to the ground by her throat. She'd been wearing her hair down through the past week because of those bruises, but obviously, they'd slipped her mind as she prepared herself for training._

 _The door to the training room released a squeaking sound as it was opened and in stepped Steve, wearing a smile that was nothing but warm. "Hey," he greeted to the both of them, eyes roaming Amelia's surface to see if she'd been harmed in her work out with the super spy. He always tried to not be pushy with his concern as he didn't want to make her feel like he was doubting her endurance. It was never doubt that drove his concern, it was the knowledge that she simply just wasn't as powerful and protected as she used to be._

 _From the floor, Nat released numerous snorts, "wow, I guess there might be some truth to that whole' speak of the devil' saying."_

" _He's more of a sweet, charming, angel," Amelia responded back to Nat as Steve continued to approach them. The brunette did her best to cover her bruises with the long hair flowing from her ponytail, hoping it would be good enough to keep the questionable markings out of Steve's line of sight._

 _He held up a large container, careful shaking it from side to side as a way to get their attention onto it. "I brought over some lunch for you."_

 _Excitement flourished on her face and she looked at Nat with a wide, toothy grin. The redhead could only shake her head and let out a laugh. Amelia really did have a weird relationship with food._

" _He is too pure for this world," she reiterated to Nat._

" _That's not what your bruises are saying," Nat mumbled under her breath, snickering._

 _When Steve reached the pair, Amelia was managing to glare at Natasha whilst having wide eyes and the redhead was covering her mouth, struggling to contain her laughter. They became a bit louder when she looked up at him. "What?" He questioned, suspicious of their behaviour._

" _Nothing," Amelia said before the redhead could, going as far as to send Nat a pointed look, ordering her to not say a word. She returned her focus to Steve, dressing herself in a smile that became a little bit more plausible when she looked at the lunchbox. "What did you make?"_

 _Steve handed the container over to her, allowing her to open it and inspect the contents herself like it was a gift to unwrap. "Nothing special, just some sandwiches, and I put a few snacks in there as well."_

" _You say snacks, but all I can see if carrots and cucumber."_

" _Well, snack food isn't exclusive to sweets," he responded. Really, he was doing her a favour. Whilst she was spending a lot of her time working out, her diet had remained exclusive to scoffing whatever sugar-coated snacks she could find._

 _She looked up at him through her eyelashes, eyebrows drawing together like a half-drawn sword, "I'm not sure I believe you."_

" _I'm forever trying to break you out of your snacking," he sighed, knowing full well that it would be Natasha who ate all the vegetables in the lunchbox._

 _She laughed at him mockingly, "it will never happen."_

" _I'm still hopeful," he replied, letting her know there was going to be future attempts from him to make her eat more vegetables. She met his words with a look that was_ daring _him to try. He smiled at that, enjoying the little back and forth they had. He always enjoyed moments like that, moments which were unfiltered, moments that were entirely theirs. He clapped his hands together, bringing to the moment to an end with a sense of finality. "Anyway, sorry for distracting you guys, I'll leave now."_

 _He turned to leave and began walking in the direction of the door, but Amelia wasn't ready for her interaction with him to end. She'd barely seen him lately, too busy training and then slumping into bed, she was sure that she would have been able to count the minutes on one hand for how long they'd talked the day before._

 _She swiftly turned to Natasha, dropping the contents in her hands onto the redhead's lap. "Hold this," she told her friend, not giving Nat any other choice as she began to sprint towards the retreating soldier. "Hey, hold on there cowboy!" Steve obliged, stopping in place and turning around right as she joined his side. He cocked up one eyebrow, "thought I was your soldier?"_

" _You are," she agreed, reaching out with her hand and he happily entwined his with hers, "though, weirdly, now I can't stop imagining what you'd look like a cowboy hat and I kind of like it."_

" _Freckles," he admonished, checking to see if Nat had overheard what his promiscuous wife had just said. The redhead was contentedly looking in the other direction, munching on one of the carrot sticks._

 _Amelia followed his gaze, turning back to face him with an adoring smile. "You're so cute when you're shy," she flirted._

 _He began to shake his head, unable to meet her eyes all of a sudden. "I'm not shy, I just don't think Nat would appreciate us talking about such… intimate, things."_

" _So cute," she persisted, reaching out to condescendingly grab his cheek but he quickly put a stop to her attempt by grabbing a hold of her hand and intertwining his fingers with hers._

" _Is there something you wanted, other than to try and embarrass me?"_

" _A proper goodbye," she suggested. It was half of the truth, really she just wanted to spend more time with him. For some reason, it was starting to feel like there was a distance between them, and she didn't like that one bit._

 _His lips raised at one side, unable to believe that she'd created such a fuss for a simple goodbye. "Sometimes I feel like you're full of shit,"_

 _Her mouth dropped open and she leaned further back. If she'd had a hand free, she'd be resting it other her skipping heart. "Mr Rogers!"_

" _Yes, Mrs Rogers?" He replied, much calmer._

" _Oh my god," she paused, looking away for a moment as she registered both what he'd said, and the chill that had ruptured her body so powerful goosebumps had popped up all over her skin. When her eyes met his, they were filled with something more. Something a lot like love. "That's my name, isn't it?" Another name, another role for her to embrace, another person for her to be. "I'm Amelia Rogers."_

" _Not officially," he reminded, sounding hopeful that one day soon it would be. He didn't realise that that wasn't what had struck her so much._

 _He didn't understand her mindset on names, neither did she. They were so much more to her than they would be for others. They were all roles, and she was an actress with the skill to fulfil each one. They were always chances and new promises._

 _Amelia pouted as his words, despite the flurry of new thoughts shaping her mind. It didn't matter to her all that much whether they signed official papers or not, to her, the words they'd shared all that time ago was enough. "I thought we both agreed that things being official didn't matter?"_

 _Steve had no response to that other than a strong wish that he could agree with her. But, alas, he'd grown up idolising the paper that documented their promise to one another and without it, the words felt a little bit more hollow. He cupped her cheek, leaning forward and pressing a chaste kiss against her lips, too formal to do anything more in front of their friends. "See you later."_

" _Yeah, you will," the brunette responded happily, choosing to ignore his misdirection. She leaned further into the hand that was warm against her cheek, the hand that had 'home' tattooed on it in invisible ink. "I love you, husband."_

" _Love you too, wife." He gave in then, saying the exact words she held in her heart. And whilst it didn't feel complete as he said them, for Amelia it was exactly the sunrise in her heart that she'd been needing to hear._

 _One last kiss, one last look, and he was off again until the next time that they'd be able to see each other._

 _She waited a moment until he was completely gone from the training room. And for a few seconds after, she was still stood there looking happily at the spot where he'd been stood. Amelia was still too blind to see the crack already forming in their relationship, a crack she would only further._

 _When she returned, it was like she'd pressed the reset button. She was no longer frustrated, but instead, she was fulfilled, reformed, a fighter who had something worth fighting for. She sat herself down at her friends side with more pep in her step._

" _Hey Nat," she called, reaching out and grabbing one of the sandwiches her husband had gifted them, taking a bite from it like a predator pulling the flesh from its prey unforgivingly, "do me a favour and don't mention any bruises to Steve."_

 _The redhead looked back in front of her, no longer pretending like she was apart from the other two people in the room. There was only one thing she could conclude from Amelia's words, and the way she'd acted after seeing him again, like she'd almost forgotten he was a detrimental part of her existence. "They're not from him then?"_

" _No," Amelia confessed, actually feeling enough courage to do so, "I, uh, I've been doing some training with Carol, trying to improve my skills and strength so I'm not so... meagre." She was being kind to herself with those words, she really wanted to call herself weak. Call herself pathetic. Call herself useless. Call herself a weakness._

" _You're the only one who thinks you are," Nat said, trying to be casual as she did so. If she'd said it and engaged the two in a heart to heart, she knew Amelia would only feel guilty about it. The brunette would imagine that somehow she'd pushed Nat into it, forced her to offer up calming words as some sort of gift that she could never afford. That was far from the case, but the best thing about having Natasha as her best friend, was that she understood every mindset that Amelia had, mostly because she'd experienced all of them. She'd gone through the guilt, the feeling of greedily wanting retribution and then feeling like she'd become a villain again, only to come full circle where the world belonged in her hands and she was the only one to fix it because the mess was caused by her._

 _The mess, that was the best way to refer to all of the issues. It was just one big mess and she was the world's janitor._

" _I know how it sounds, but I… I need to be doing something," Amelia said, repeating the same thing she'd said earlier. It was all she could say because it was the sole reason why she was doing everything she did._

" _I thought you were sorting out those group therapy sessions with Steve," Nat replied, doing her best to subliminally mention the things Amelia was doing to help people._

" _I am," she responded, sounding guilty because she knew that they should have been enough. But it wasn't. It was so easy, setting up a room and giving people the room to talk, it was too easy._

 _Silence passed._

 _It was comfortable and it almost felt right for the both of them. It was their childhood home. Whilst they might have found a new home that was solely theirs, the silence that settled was the home that clouded all the memories of their past._

" _I get it," Nat mumbled, her own guilt rearing its ugly head as she mentioned the lows that had taken up her time._

 _Amelia couldn't help but look up and towards her close friend that had hidden behind a mask for so long that it almost seemed like she didn't experience any issues, ever. It felt almost like she was taking her very first breath after drowning underwater. Someone else was there in that dark place. Finally, there was someone she could talk to and talk with. "You do?"_

" _Sure," Natasha responded, feeling the same, like for once maybe a light was appearing at the end of the tunnel all on its own, there was help out there. There was someone else that could hold her up whilst she was stumbling. There was someone to share the weight of the world on her shoulders. "Right now, I know that there are so many people suffering the after-effects of the snap. Not just people, but also children. Children that never asked to be any part of this."_

" _What do you mean?"_

 _Nat closed her eyes, seeing and hearing everything she had over the past few months. The world had crumbled into dust after Thanos' snap despite all of the world still remaining. They were all weak, all vulnerable, and those that wanted to feel something had turned to making bad decisions, turned to hurting those who couldn't protect themselves._

 _She remembered the first time she'd been told what had happened in a small village in Africa. She remembered the images that Nebula had provided her, not realising the traumatic effect they would have._

 _And she especially remembered after the call how she'd thrown everything off of her desk, and clawed at her own skin whilst trying to hug herself and suppress the panic that had flooded her system worse than a volcano eruption. It burnt worse. It suffocated worse._

 _She remembered the loneliness, and then she remembered the uselessness that she could easily see that Amelia was feeling. Like her hands were made of fragile twigs and her soul was made of nothing but ceramic clay. She remembered feeling like someone not meant for the weight which she ended up carrying._

" _Right now, children are being stolen" Natasha explained, knowing that if she'd been of the right mind than she'd never have told Amelia such information. But in that moment, she was desperate for another pair of hands to carry the weight she was struggling to bear on her own. "They've got no family to protect them, so people are just stealing them, using them for their bidding, making them into something they were never meant to be."_

" _Do others know?" Amelia interrogated, concerned. She hadn't been able to help them because she didn't know, but surely others would have done something_

" _Of course," Natasha responded, and that was all she could say because anything more would only disappoint her friend, she was sure._

" _Are they getting the help that they need?"_

" _Some of them," Nat reluctantly expanded, doing her best to be careful of her words but unable to completely hold back as her desire to get those lost help overpowered her desire to help maintain Amelia's mental health. Steve would hate her for it, but in Nat's mind, she trusted Amelia's ability to stay in control more than she did the weakness of the villains that were taking advantage of the broken state of the planet. Even then, she knew what she was doing was wrong. She was taking advantage of Amelia's need to do more, but she couldn't stop herself from insisting further. "But then there are others outside of America that are being ignored, and I'm trying my best but…"_

" _But there's only so much one person can do," Amelia argued, exactly as Natasha argued._

" _That's what I tell myself, but it doesn't help." The redhead drew her knees to her chest, trying to suffocate the guilt. No longer did she harbour the guilt of not being able to help all the humans in need, then she was beginning to harbour the guilt of passing on such a powerful emotion to her friend, to the one person who urgently needed to stop feeling like the world was her responsibility._

 _Nat saw it in the corner of her eye, the twitch of Amelia's fingers. The urgency to do more than she already was, the feeling like that wasn't enough._

 _The drip of desire had turned into a full-grown flood, and Amelia didn't know how to handle it. Or, she knew how to handle it affecting her, she just didn't know how to prevent it from drowning those she loved as well._

* * *

 **A/N: I wonder what those aliens in space are doing that's so bad Carol is needed, I guess we'll never know... in this story...**

 **Also I use Grammarly and it does scores of your writing now, I got 83% with this chapter and at the bottom it said this '** **Your text is likely to be understood by a reader who has at least a 7th-grade education (age 12) and should be easy for most adults to read.' So, hopefully my audience is age 12 and above.**

 **To BuckyBares, a lot of people are hoping for them to have a happy ending and it's making me nervous, like what constitutes as a happy ending?**

 **To Pitspee, I'm pretty fixed on a certain ending now, but I'd be super interested to hear what is, send me a PM!**

 **To Assbitch67, don't complain cause we've only got a week left of this! Stevia fluff gets a lot of action for the first couple of chapters, but it'll fade away and the angst will RISE because y'all know me and my affinity for that dark shit. Also, that comment about Morgan is such a cute thought, maybe if Tony lets her spend more time with Morgan it would happen.**

 **To Siobhan, I can not confirm nor deny which year this story will end in, nor whether the ending will be 'happy' or sad, maybe it will just be an ending. Is that any comfort to you? No, I'm hoping it won't be, if it comforts you then I'm giving too much away ;)**

 **To the people that simply read this story, I thank you a bunch!**


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